Doug Loves Movies - John Erler, Peter Kim and Chris Tellez guest
Episode Date: March 21, 2022Live from The Creek and the Cave in Austin as part of SXSW, Doug welcomes John Erler, Peter Kim and Chris Tellez to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher P...remium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds
With 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies
Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is I Love Movies.
Hang on a second.
We had some howlers that do not know the cue.
Hold your howls.
Just do the right thing.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is I Loves Movies
Alright, there's still a couple of howlers
So keep your eyes on them
They are day drunk, everybody
Welcome to Doug Loves Movies
As part of South by Southwest
At the Creek in the Cave in Austin, Texas
First club I've performed at in a while
where there were ashtrays
and they were available for us on stage
yeah
I don't know what's going to happen with that
I think some of my guests
might enjoy that privilege
I might as well
I always feel bad in situations
where the artists can smoke and the audience cannot.
So somebody said you can?
I didn't.
All right.
We'll see what happens, I guess.
But yes, thank you, Creek in the Cave, for giving me unprecedented access to cannabis while I'm on stage.
I appreciate it.
It is Saturday, March 19th, 2022.
Is everybody having a great South by Southwest?
I'm having a great time,
and I'm sure you'll hear about
some of my cinematic adventures
that I've been on since I've been here.
I'm a South by Long Hauler.
I come for the whole nine days,
even get here a day early,
and maybe even leave a day late sometimes.
They used to have big weed events.
High Times used to have an event on the Sunday after,
and I would always stay over for that,
but they stopped doing it for some reason. because it's less rebellious now you want to smell weed in
this town today just walk down 6th Street you'll be set yeah music is in
town and I welcome that but I had a great time during film week and I got
some great items that I not only received here but also brought
with me that I'd like to give away today this is the prize bag it says uh summer in argyle which
my friend bob odenkirk has this show that he made with his son nate that's audio only and it's on
audible and uh that's what this tote bag is. And that's also what these foam fingers are.
It says Argyle, Ohio.
We're number two.
Because the fictitious town in this show has self-esteem issues.
They also gave away a Summer in Argyle bucket hat from a company called Recycled Polyester.
Is that really the name of a company?
But anyway, they gave me
this hat. They gave a hat away
and I have a gigantic head
so this thing's not going to fit on it.
So it goes in the prize bag.
And then also I got from that show
Super Pumped on Showtime. They gave out
a little air fresheners
that are like in the shape of a car.
Can't vouch for if it smells any good
and then uh from the tv show from on epics has anybody watched that show from on epics it's uh
just a you know they like to send out like a blank book like hey we don't know what to
what to put in here just watch the show and write some shit down whatever
you know take take notes while you watch. And then
this is another weird one. When Promising
Young Woman came out,
they sent me something
that's called Promising Young Woman Tea.
Which I worry would just
make a person pass out.
And then
finally,
the last item, probably the most treasured item for many of you,
a rubber pipe from Peacemaker that's only been used once.
So somebody's going to win all of that today,
and my three guests are going to play for three audience members.
And if you didn't bring a name tag, don't sweat it,
because you'll still be eligible just for being in the room.
Many of you have a name tag of sorts because you have festival badges.
And let's get my three very funny guests out here.
You ready?
All right.
I always have to go to the notes,
because between the time that I saw them backstage
and I came out here and talked for a while,
it's anybody's guess who's back there.
Please welcome John Erler, Peter Kim, and Chris Tellez!
Come on out, fellas.
Pick a spot.
Cop a squat.
Yeah, they set up our drink table so that they have to kind of jump over
them to get to your spot. But the big bear that's usually on stage here at the Creek
in the Cave has been moved over to by the door, which makes sense because, you know,
I'm sure a lot of drunk people probably won't even come in and they see that fucking bear.
God, there's got to be other bears, other bars.
There's got to be other bars that don't have this bear staring at me.
And then they go into the jackalope and they wish they were never born.
Don't get me started about the chupacabra.
Let's say hi to everybody, alphabetically and individually,
starting with the master, Moto Panakeku.
It's John Erler, everybody.
Hello.
How is everybody doing?
Stop talking to the crowd.
So, no crowd work in my show.
John Erler, of course, is with the master pancake to troop that makes fun of
movies and has been doing it quite a lot online so it's opened up to the world a
thing that used to be only people lived in or near Austin got to enjoy and so
how's that been if you think you're picking up new fans this way I think so
we've got a bunch of followers on Twitch now.
We've got like 13,000 people following on Twitch, and we do shows four times a week.
And yeah, it's great. I think whatever happens with In Real Life,
I think we're going to at least have a Twitch presence for the foreseeable future.
Yeah, it's nice to have a Twitch presence because people you know, people can't all come see you in person.
And there'll be some diehard people that want to see all the shows, you know, even if you're local and you can't make a show.
It's just nice to have that option.
But you get out and do live ones too, though, right?
I mean, eventually.
I mean, we haven't started planning it with the Alamo yet, but eventually it's going to happen.
I love it.
Alamo Drafthouse Theaters.
Let's hear it for them.
Amazing chain
of theaters
that I fell in love with here
in Austin.
First time I came to South by
how many
years has it been now? In the
12-13 range. Yeah.
Thank you for being here, John.
Thank you, Doug. Good luck.
Did I warn you that it's like
Squid Game now and that everybody dies
except for the winner?
No. I keep forgetting to tell people about the
format change.
What's happening? So good luck
today. Okay. And just don't
stare at that big doll in the back of the room.
She's cute, but don't stare at that big doll in the back of the room. She's cute,
but don't stare at her.
Also joining us today,
initially a San Francisco phenom,
now a Los Angeles phenom
of about five years.
And first time to South By?
First time.
First time to South By
is Peter Kim, everybody.
Hello.
Hi.
Has your episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm been on television yet?
It has, and I was ceremoniously cut out of it.
What?
I did not bring that up to be a dick.
Oh.
I thought that's what you were doing.
Yeah, yeah.
Hey, good job on Curb, man.
Yeah.
Did you tell people that don't have cable that they were still in it?
It was really embarrassing because I told everyone I was going to be in it.
You know, like, you film stuff and you get cut out all the time.
It has never happened to me.
Not because I'm that good.
It was just one of my first things I ever booked.
And it was truly embarrassing. I couldn't see my friends for a while but on the set it was fun like it didn't
feel like the scene was terrible just they just didn't need it for that yeah i guess it was for
time and it was with um larry david and john ham oh so you got a big slice of ham for your trouble.
He is as beautiful as he looks on TV.
He really is.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
So we all thought about Hamm for a while.
But of course, it's important not to eat meat.
No, but he should change his name to something that vegans can appreciate.
John Foham.
Yeah, like John Tempe.
John Spam.
Is Spam?
Does Spam have some meat in it, though, doesn't it?
I don't know.
It's all meat, Doug.
Is it?
Oh, is it?
Even that greasy stuff is meat?
All right.
John's not committing to that.
No. He's yes committing to that. No.
He's yes and but never minding.
Also joining us today,
a longtime friend of the show and Austin Phenom,
Austin Comedy Phenom.
I watched him record what I believe might have been
his first comedy album last September right here in town.
It's Chris Tellez everybody.
What's up y'all?
Thanks guys.
What's up Doug? Who do you think is higher
right now, you or me?
It might be me man.
I don't know. I haven't checked
these chairs but I think mine's a little higher than yours.
Oh yeah. That's what I meant.
I didn't mean to
call you out on. Are you going to smoke on stage you think? Huh? than yours. Oh, yeah. That's what I meant. I didn't mean to, I didn't mean to
call you out on,
are you going to smoke
on stage, you think?
Huh?
That's a yes.
What's that, officer?
I said,
are you,
you think you're going
to smoke on stage today?
Yeah, yeah,
I'm just pacing myself.
Yeah.
This and the drive over here
were the only two breaks
I've had today.
Well, you need those tolerance breaks to really make the whole thing work, and myself. This and the drive over here were the only two breaks I've had today.
Well, you need those tolerance breaks to really
make the whole thing work.
I'm glad to take a few minutes
to yourself and
your motor vehicle.
We got this Delta 8 is what I was told.
I cannot...
It's a bummer that Delta 8
is a... You know... It's like a safe, it's kind of between CBD and cannabis.
Yeah.
Basically.
But also given a name that just sounds like another variant.
Yeah.
It's crazy timing on that, that particular venture.
But people still drink Corona, so who knows?
Who knows how big of an issue that'll venture. But people still drink Corona, so who knows?
Who knows how big of an issue that'll be.
But thank you, gentlemen, all of you,
for being here today on this very hot day in Austin, Texas.
And thank you, Creek in the Cave.
Your name doesn't sound like you'd have awesome air conditioning.
You think you'd just kind of shrug and go,
hey, man, it's a cave near a creek.
The weather is what the weather is.
But instead, it's beautifully air conditioned,
so thank you for that.
And before we get into the celebrated J.D. Power Award-winning games that we play in this show,
I like to ask all of my guests
what I think is a fairly simple question.
We'll start with you, John, earlier.
Please recommend one movie.
It could be from any time period.
It's nice if it's available for people to watch on streaming,
but it could be in theaters now.
Something playing here at the
South by Southwest Festival.
Could it be
something I watched two days ago?
That sounds like
it's fresh in your mind.
And you might have something to say
about it.
What is that movie?
Have you heard of a movie called The Fugitive?
I have. With H. Ford? Yes. You know that movie? Have you heard of a movie called The Fugitive? I have.
With H. Ford?
Yes.
You know that guy?
Yeah.
And the one-armed man?
He is in it.
And they look for him in every shithouse, outhouse, farmhouse, henhouse, househouse, house music.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're familiar.
I have seen the film.
Did you know that it was a St. Patrick's Day movie?
Because, like, at one point,
he's, like, trying to get through
a crowd of St. Patrick's revelers.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's in Chicago?
It's in Chicago.
And he throws up in the river
and nobody notices because it's green.
Correct.
Holy shit.
Yeah, I never thought about that.
Because, you know,
the iconic image from that movie
is when he jumps from that big sewer pipe over the falls.
I don't think that's in downtown Chicago anymore.
But, I mean, he's a fugitive,
so he runs around all over the place.
It's crazy that he didn't run into Ferris Bueller's parade.
I made that joke when we watched it.
You did?
I did, I did.
So that's your recommendation.
Is it Fugitive?
Yeah, revisit The Fugitive if you haven't recently.
How many people have seen it recently?
Told you not to talk to the crowd.
There's our three Twitch fans right there.
Yeah, but Tommy Lee won the Oscar for that one, didn't he?
I think he did.
Yes.
All right.
Yes.
All right, I'll try not to ask any more questions.
Because I've got to get the audience out of the habit
of yelling out answers.
No.
Because I know at least one of you
is going to need a lot of help today,
and that's not how it works.
This isn't Price is Right,
where you just stare out into the audience
until somebody gives you the right answer.
That's exactly what my strategy was the entire time.
I was like, holy shit.
Yeah, I'm shutting that down.
All right.
What do you think, Peter Kim?
Do you have a movie you'd like to recommend?
I do.
It's a movie that's in this festival right now.
The title is Bitch Ass.
Oh, you've seen it?
No way.
Thank you for watching it. Oh, thanks i'm he said that's good
i wish you didn't say anything with you yeah you could feel the energy in the room that nobody
likes the fugitive but at least one guy yeah he's into bitch ass classic, the new classic, bitch ass. That's right.
It's just so fun to say.
So, I mean, is there going to be issues with people asking,
you know, when you go up to buy a ticket at the box office,
like, I'd like a ticket, bitch ass.
They'd be like, I beg your pardon. We're hoping that people take it and run
and hopefully have fun with the name.
So you're in town with bitch ass.
With bitch ass. What is your involvement
with Bitch Ass? I helped produce it.
And so then
turned around and recommended
it in a forum where
you could recommend any movie ever made.
Yeah. Really taking
advantage of the situation. Well,
I figured, you know, we're at South by Southwest
and... I wonder why you were thanking
that guy for liking it I you know
John doesn't thank people for
liking the fugitive
so yeah so that's
great that you were involved with that and
what does it say on the poster
it says something like
bitch ass is coming no
yeah but there's another one
which is what I say that they show before
the movies where it describes the movie.
It says, it's got this, it's got this, and it's got this.
And then the last line was, butt black.
Oh, Squid Game meets people under the stairs and saw.
Butt black.
Butt black, yeah.
I mean, if that's not reason enough to go right there.
By the way, the writer and director is black.
I'm not just out here appropriating.
I was hoping the listeners would be really confused at that point.
I know, they're all looking at me like...
Okay.
Yeah, let's see how woke Austin is.
Okay, so we got Bitch Ass and The Fugitive.
I'd say we create a whole new movie called Bitch Ass Fugitive.
And it's somebody who broke a law we all agree is bad.
And they're a bitch ass fugitive.
You know, because most fugitives are innocent.
You know?
So you're watching a movie going i hope this
fugitive doesn't get caught but what about the other way around just watching a bitch-ass
fugitive and hoping they get taken down yeah the entire time tommy jones would be the hero
he said somehow law enforcement is the bad guy in the first in the fugitive chris tellez
please change the subject with a recommendation.
Oh, I want to also go with bitch ass on this one, to be honest.
Yeah, I was working the snack table, and it looks like it's going to be good.
The boys of bitch ass were good to me the entire time.
No, I...
You know, I was thinking of more recent movies.
I saw Scream 4 recently, and I thought
that movie was fucking awesome, so
go see that. Everybody hates it, but I like it.
What's it called?
Scream 4.
Five.
Loved it so much, I forgot the goddamn name.
You mean New Scream.
People hate it?
I've only heard good things
Oh my dumb friends
Who hate everything
Nice small circle
So I went to go see it
And it had everything I like
In a horror film
Oh I'm on it
I would say
The New Texas Chainsaw Mass
Grown Netflix
I saw that
Okay so you just like anything
Double dip
Yeah
See you get it
You get it
Resaw Glitter Rewatch that That's good I don't see what people Are talking about Yeah. See, you get it. You get it.
Resaw Glitter.
Rewatch that.
That's good.
I don't see what people are talking about.
Good.
Cheely's great.
I got the limited edition DVD.
Yes.
Platinum.
Did you really watch Glitter?
No.
No, no, no. I would now, but no.
Have you seen Glitter? No, but we need to riff it sometime. now, but no. Have you seen Glitter?
No, but we need to riff it sometime.
Everybody requests Glitter.
Should we do Glitter?
Should we?
Yes.
Okay, if I do some crowd work,
can I go directly to the crowd on this?
If it goes well, just remember to credit me for it.
That'd be great.
You can be on it.
You can riff with us.
Yes, all right, thanks.
You guys all heard that, right?
Sorry that I don't trust anybody.
Tell us what big break just happened.
Yeah, I'd like to lock them bits in real time.
He's going to watch Glitter with Master Pancake.
It's all coming together, dude.
Let's do it.
So you guys have pancakes and stuff? That's going to be great. I'm excited.
No, you know, improv troops have to have a fun name that ultimately doesn't mean anything.
Oh.
Basically.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I don't think they ever have pancakes.
They never do.
But that is a fun idea.
It's actually our breakfast one.
People request them all the time.
And some people who don't know what we're about come and think there will be pancakes there.
Somebody's nodding like they did that one time.
You guys bring pancakes?
Yeah, he probably snuck in some fancy syrup in his pocket.
He was fucking psyched for those free...
He was like, moto panacake-u.
We had pancakes twice,
and we had to get outside people to bring in a griddle in the lobby.
Oh, you were there for that.
You're nodding your head.
From Kirby Lane.
Oh, my God.
The fucking pancakes.
Yeah.
But every time I ask the Alamo... time i asked the alamo uh management if we can make pancakes for the show
they say no because it means changing the grill from what they're normally doing somehow i don't
know i don't know that's what stopped mcdonald's from serving breakfast after 10.30 for so many years. But then somebody cracked it.
So I bet you the Alamo could figure it out
if they just call a scientist or something.
All right, so we got Scream,
and we got the Fugitive,
and we got a bitch ass.
I feel like a bitch ass right now.
I was trying to light this joint
with this.
No, there's a tornado.
Yeah, it's funny.
You really look like you're in a photo shoot the way your hair has been blowing the entire time.
Maybe John wouldn't mind sitting there.
He won't have the same problem.
We can share one.
That's good to know about because because I've never done stand-up here,
but I'd love to just stand under a wind like that while telling my jokes.
It just looks so exciting.
But yeah, if you get cold, let me know, and I won't be able to do anything.
This is the part where I say it's time for a commercial.
Let's go to a commercial break and we'll be right back.
We're back!
Yay!
And we picked some name tags.
Chris is playing for Marcello.
Marcello.
I wrote it down, Marcello.
M-A-R-C-E-L-L-O.
Marcello.
But it's Marcello.
And Chris, you're in charge of remembering that,
because I'll forget.
And then we've got Peter is playing for the dude
who actually made a name tag a few years ago.
And he's been hanging on to it.
And it's never been picked
and his name is zach and it's loves actually and then uh john erler is playing for a lady who held
up some garbage that she scribbled her name on natalie garbage is what she's gonna be called
henceforward she's nataliebage. And congrats.
Also, you all saw what's in the prize bag.
It's not that big a deal.
So nobody needs to feel bad.
Competitors on stage don't feel bad
if you don't know the answer to any of these things.
It can get kind of tough.
I've got a new game that I'd like to play right now.
Wow.
Yeah.
Whoa.
There's a skeptic in the audience.
But I feel like that's the whole Austin scene right now.
Everybody says no, wait a minute.
And then does lots of research.
But this game is called Cage Match.
Because, thank you, because I am one of the biggest Nick Cage fans in the world.
And I am fired up about his new movie, which I saw the other night,
The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent.
I loved it.
Great movie.
Look forward to it, everybody.
It comes out in April.
But this is just, to me, this is just the time to be all about Nicolas Cage.
And that's why I came up with Cage Match.
The first step in this game, before I tell you how this game works,
I have to ask the three of you gentlemen to do something.
I'd like you to each think in your head of a movie that has Nicolas Cage in it.
Could be your favorite. Could be one that you can just happen to remember, could be any reasons for picking it, but just think
of a Nicolas Cage movie. And once you all have Nicolas Cage movies in your head, just
the people on stage of course, I'm going to count down three, two, one, point to you,
and I'll just firmly say the title at the same time.
Do not pause, do not hold back, just say it.
Are we doing it on one or on?
I'll go three, two, one, point to you.
So everybody say it's on zero.
It's on the unspoken zero.
Okay. At the same time, right? Yeah. At the same time.
Are you pointing at all of us? I can't believe I passed out joints to people and said,
I'm going to go out there and try a new game.
It doesn't make any fucking sense. Okay. But here we go. Here we go.
Here we go. All right. You got it. You got one in your head? Yes.
All right.
I was asking Chris.
Yes.
Yeah, that's me.
That's all right.
I'm looking forward.
I'm very intense.
Yeah, I like your focus.
I like your intensity.
John, you got one too?
No, hold on.
Okay, get one.
There's a few to choose from.
All right, here we go.
Three, two, one.
Valley Girl.
What did you say?
I said Valley Girl. Oh, I said Face Off. Face Off.. What did you say? I said Valley Girl.
Oh, I... What did you say, Chris?
I said Face Off.
Face Off.
And what did you say?
Con Air.
Con Air.
Is that the right one?
Yeah.
That's what I was going to say.
It is for a lot of people.
There's going to be a lot of opinions in the audience on this one, but try not to let it sway you.
Okay, so Chris said Face Off.
Yeah.
Peter said...
Sorry, you don't clap for the one you like the best.
I mean, you can. I can't stop you.
But then Peter said Con Air.
And John
said Captain Mandolini's
Mandolini.
Captain Mandolini's Mandolini.
What'd you say? Valley Girl.
Valley Girl
so you all picked simple two word titles
Face Off, Con Air
Valley Girl
now I'm going to ask you to do it again
and you can change
your answer or keep it
the same but the
winner of this game is going to be the person
who
says a movie that's not the movie said by the other two players.
So I don't know if this is going to work, but it seems fun to me.
So you can stick with the movie you had.
You could decide to say a movie somebody else had to try to match them,
but I don't know if that'd be strategic.
I think that might be silly
because you want to be the one that's not matching.
And yeah, and I don't know how many rounds
we're going to have to go
until there is a match.
But I think it's going to happen
because the three of you picked very,
you know, not obvious Nick Cage movies,
but I think two of you are going to fall into the trap of matching, no matter how hard you try.
Okay.
Not me.
Let's go.
And if all three of you match on the same title, I'm going to ask you all to leave the stage, and I'll get three new guests.
There could be a tie in this game.
It doesn't matter.
Have you play tested this game
before? Not at all.
I got so excited about
Nicolas Cage this week that it's just been brewing
in my mind and I
agree with you. It might not work.
I didn't say that.
Asking if I've tested it
implies
a lack of faith,
but it's also a reasonable question.
All right, here we go.
And the object is?
You don't want to say what anybody else says.
So I guess the idea is stay away from the three ones you just heard
or be ballsy and just go for it.
I don't know.
Okay.
Ready?
Three,
two, one.
Frost times at Ridgemont High.
What'd you say, Chris?
I think I said Raising Arizona.
And what'd you say,
Peter? Con Air again.
Oh, listen to him sticking with Con Air.
Alright. Let's try this another time. Oh, listen to him sticking with Con Air. All right.
Let's try this another time.
I think we could get there.
Maybe not.
This might be a better slumber party game.
We're waiting in a long line to play this game.
What if it never ends?
Oh, it'll end.
Okay. Yeah, because'll end. Okay.
Yeah, because my patience
does not continue forever.
Three, two, one.
Moonstruck.
Con Air.
Whoa.
He was awestruck.
What'd you say, Chris?
The Rock.
Oh, nice.
Peter?
Con Air.
I was going to say that.
My fave.
I'm sticking with my fave.
Okay.
I like your long game.
This is interesting.
And John said?
Moonstruck.
Moonstruck.
Okay.
Another classic.
Okay.
Never even heard of it.
You're safe on that.
Well, that's also what I'm counting on,
is you're going to have to say something
that's already been said,
and who's going to circle back?
And is Peter really going to just keep saying Con Air?
Wow.
Three, two, one.
Gone in 60 seconds.
What'd you say?
National treasure?
Yeah.
Con Air.
Con Air.
Gone in 60 seconds. All right. Ready Air. Con Air. Gone in 60 seconds.
All right.
Ready to go again?
No.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Yeah, that's the other thing.
I'm losing faith.
It comes faster.
You got to keep going faster.
Oh, okay.
I like that.
We're hiding it.
We got to end this.
Three, two, one.
Con Air.
Leaving Las Vegas.
Ooh, what'd you say this time, Chris?
Kick ass.
Yes.
Oh, kick ass. That's great. That's a good one. Con Air. Con Air. Leaving Las Vegas. Ooh, what'd you say this time, Chris? Kick-ass. Yes. Oh, kick-ass.
That's great.
That's a good one.
Con Air.
Con Air.
Leaving Las Vegas.
Oh, you guys are going to run out of them any minute now.
Three, two, one.
Face Off.
Honeymoon in Vegas.
Oh, he went back to Face Off.
Yeah, had to recharge.
I'm running out of Nicolas Cage movies.
I think this actually can go forever.
I can, yes.
Statistically.
But will it?
Three, two, one.
Grand Isle.
National Treasure 2.
Oh, sequel.
Did they make a sequel to that?
Am I going crazy?
National Treasure 2?
Yeah.
Why is everybody so shocked?
I think they did.
I didn't want to do face-off three times in a row.
It's National Treasure 2, Book of Secrets, I think, something like that?
I've never seen it.
It's the Book of Secrets.
Book of Nonsense?
Book of Secrets.
House of Lies?
Oh, my God.
Okay.
Three, two, one.
Ghost Rider.
National Treasure 3.
What part three?
National Treasure 3 They didn't finish the trilogy ever
Oh shit
It's still in development
Shit, it went back to face off
See, that's where
See, that's where this game
That's one of the pitfalls of this game
Is when somebody says a movie
It's not even a Nicolas Cage movie
What do you do to them?
What's his punishment?
Give him another crack.
Well, if he's out, he's just going to not say Con Air
repeatedly.
You know, and when Peter
does finally decide to change it up...
Well, see, because I don't know a lot of his movies.
Yeah, right, but if it was at one time
he decided to change it up,
then John might not say, Conor, you're right, it could go on forever.
So I'm going to call Chris Tellez the loser.
Damn.
Sorry, Rogelio.
But my new game is a bigger loser.
Because it's not your fault that the game doesn't, you know.
Do it one more.
Do it one more.
Without him, let's just do one more round.
Us two, head to head.
One last round.
I feel like something might happen.
I like this.
Okay.
Okay.
All right, ready?
Three.
Hold on.
Go, go, go, go.
Okay, three, two, one.
Ghost Rider 2 Spirit of Vengeance.
Damn it.
That was good.
I thought I had something else.
I almost said Con Air.
Maybe this is more of a fun...
I'll play this game with somebody
that's only in three or four movies
and then it'll end quickly.
But with Nicolas Cage,
how many more do you think you could name, John? I'm running low. All right, let's do another one. Chris, you know, it'll end quickly. But with Nicolas Cage, how many more do you think you could name, John?
I'm running low.
All right, let's do another one.
Chris, you're back in.
Three, two, one.
This is a dumb game.
Do it.
National Treasure 2, Revenge of the Airplane.
The original National Treasure.
Those are longer titles than mine.
All right, let's play another new game that I haven't tested.
This is a cool episode.
Yeah, I think it really is.
People are going to be like, that's a bottle episode.
I really thought there were three movies.
Either skip it because it doesn't move the storyline forward
or bring a lot of bottles and listen to it drunk.
No, but this next game, I can guarantee that there might be a winner.
Yeah, there's a chance there's going to be a winner in this game.
It's a new game,
like I said, and it's called
and this is based on something
my friend
Charlie Sotelo, who
is the person who brings
all the comedy to South by Southwest
Comedy. Yeah, let's hear it for him.
He and some other people, when they're hanging out, were playing a game where they try to find
a movie that none of them have seen. But no matter what kind of classic movie you pick,
that a lot of people haven't seen, there's always somebody in the group that has so i decided to try to turn that into a game uh and it's called
have you seen it and i'm gonna name a movie and then the three of you on stage are gonna say
whether you think people have seen it or they haven't seen it. And this is based on them admitting it in a poll on
Twitter. So some people will say they've seen a classic movie because they just lie about
it because it's easier. But I don't know why they'd answer a poll to lie about whether
or not they've seen a movie. But poll answers are weird. And the results can be weird. So
I'll name a movie and each of you tell me if you think more than 50% of the people said that they've seen it or less and
for each one you get right you can all share answers so if you each answer the
same thing every time we'll have another game ends in a tie but I feel like
you're more competitive than that and I feel like you'll disagree at some point.
So here we go.
And we're doing, oh, here's a good example.
I made an example just in case anybody said,
have you tested this?
I go, well, at least I made an example.
I asked on Twitter whether or not people have seen Goodfellas,
the film Goodfellas.
Widely seen, but plenty of people
haven't seen it.
So out of 375
respondents,
do you think more than
50%, this isn't the game yet, I'm just
asking for fun, do you think more than 50%
have
seen Goodfellas?
Yes. John, what do you think?
Yes.
So you'd all be correct for saying
that and it is a whopping 83%. Wow. Yes. But things get a little trickier when you do the
films of Kevin Costner. Yeah, Yellowstone is a huge hit on TV. He is back in a huge way. But how do people feel
about some of his classic
films? Yes.
John Earler,
we'll just go, since nobody really won that
last game, we'll go in alphabetical order.
And Chris can go last
since he kind of lost that game.
Thought there were three of them. I'm sorry.
We'll start with a different person each time.
Like I said, you can share answers,
so the order doesn't matter that much.
But the first film is JFK.
The film JFK.
How many, more or less than half of the respondents,
claim to have seen all of JFK.
I was going to say, do they have to finish it?
I asked them to finish it, but you know how people are.
I can't watch everybody watch JFK.
So they could be lying about having watched the whole thing.
I mean, nobody knows how it ends because we still don't know everything right
sure
what do you think
can I guess exactly
50%
people in the audience
do not want you to do that
can we get a poll of the entire
audience
so I guess when you say more or less than 50 50 is the only
number you can't say okay i mean you could say zero if you want to get really nutty all right
i'm gonna go below 50 saying below okay what about you peter kim jfk i've never seen it and
i don't see movies a lot so i and i feel like a lot of people haven't seen it,
so I'm going to say no.
Below.
Was that what I was going to say?
It wasn't a yes or no question.
I'm going to say pass.
I'm going to take this question pass, fail.
I'm going to say what is a no. all right so whatever what did you say john i
already forgot what you said i said under okay so you say less than 50 and you more or less than 50
peter under less than 50 less than 50 all right ch. Chris Tellez, we got two lesses.
Do you want to go less or more?
50% JFK.
For JFK, I think I'm going to go more on this one.
You are?
Just to be contrary?
Or do you really believe it?
That's a movie I've lied about watching, so I'm like, yeah.
I don't know what these guys are talking about.
All right.
It's like two VH tips long.
This one came in at a whopping 52% have seen. I know what I'm talking about.
This is my game.
JFK.
That was a real close one there.
And congratulations, Peter.
Chris just got a point.
Thanks. But you got to go first this time, Peter. Chris just got a point. Thanks.
But you gotta go first this time, Peter.
In your guessage.
What do you think about
pretty similar length,
maybe a little shorter, but who claims
to have seen all of Dances
with Wolves?
Oh, I'm gonna say
over.
Because my mom's even seen dances with wolves.
So I'm going to say over.
He's going over.
Chris Tellez?
Yeah, I feel the same way about JFK.
Over.
All the way.
Never seen it. Been telling people for years I've seen it.
Misquoting it. Yeah, I don't know anything about it. I assume it's about telling people for years I've seen it. Misquoting it.
Yeah.
I don't know anything about it.
I assume it's about a man who dances with wolves.
Yeah.
That's right.
I was there.
I saw it in the theater when it opened.
I was an audience member with popcorn.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
I had an Indian name and everything.
Can you imagine just walking in, like white guy, just walking into some tribe.
Hey, has anybody got a nickname for me?
Then we can all get along.
I just need a nickname that needs to come from you.
I'll go dance with these chickens for a while while you think about it.
Right?
Then a wolf runs in to eat all the chickens.
They're like, hey, he dances with wolves.
All right, Peter, is it your turn?
Whose turn is it?
Your turn?
John's turn.
John.
I feel like this is the one you've either seen or you haven't.
I'm going to say over 50.
You're going over.
We've got two overs, Peter.
Oh, you did.
I went first.
You did an over.
I think. I don't know where I am. We got two overs, Peter. Oh, you did. I went first. You did an over. I think.
I don't know where I am.
We got all overs.
Everybody says over, right?
They should not have told us to smoke out here.
They forced us.
You're all over, right?
We're all over.
I just want to double check.
Can I answer yes?
How about yes?
No.
It's more or less or over or under.
Yes. Yes, over. A lot or a or over or under.
Yes.
Yes, over.
A lot or a little.
All right.
You guys all got that one right.
Woo!
Yeah, because that one, 59% of the people claim to have seen all of Dances with Wolves.
Hell yeah.
Yeah.
This next one is a little trickier.
And we start
with
Chris.
Have you ever heard
of a film called
The Big Chill?
Oof.
No.
Well,
it's a movie that
haunts Kevin Costner
to this day
because he had
one scene in the movie
that Peter,
they cut out.
Much like your curb situation.
It happens to the best of us.
Yeah.
He plays the person who commits suicide.
He plays the guy in like a flashback and then the rest of the movie
is everybody gathering for his funeral.
And you see Kevin Costner's wrists
in the opening credits
because they're putting a suit
on his dead body
in the opening credits. And that's his suit on his dead body in the opening credits.
That's his whole role in the movie. Might not
even be his wrists.
But he
played that character. So,
that being said,
how many people do you think
have seen it? Is it
more or less than 50% Chris
Tellez? Well, I mean, I just told the truth about
it myself, so I'm going to go with
Under, because that's a movie I
sound proud about not watching.
I don't know. It sounds awful.
You know,
they dance around. It's a bunch of white people
dancing around in the kitchen to herd it through the grapevine.
It set
some bad trends
in films
not my kind of costume but it's also got a lot of good actors in it so it's somewhat beloved
uh john earler um i like it i like big joe yeah um yeah a lot of good actors in it jeff goldblum's in
it yeah yeah very jeff goldblum he. He's showing us what he was going to be
for the rest of his career.
Exactly.
Glenn Close.
Yeah, she was Oscar nominated for that one, I believe.
Somebody's talking to us.
Anyway, I'm going to say,
well, I'm going to use Chris as a bellwether.
I feel like as Chris goes, so goes the nation.
And that's how I felt.
I'm going to say under 50.
Okay.
We've got two unders, Peter.
I went first.
No, I went first this time, dude.
No I went first this time dude I mean I would have bought it
If I wasn't so slow right now
I had time to think about it
I did though
I realized you were joking
But what do you think?
About
The Big Chill
What's the movie? Oh the Big Chill Big Chill. What's the movie?
Oh, The Big Chill.
Big Chill.
Under owner.
I'm so high.
The Big Chill, never seen it.
I don't think anyone has seen it
in this room.
And if they are,
no, you're lying.
You're lying.
You've been branded as a liar.
I've heard about you.
You're a liar.
It's under.
You all agree, under.
That is correct.
It is under.
See?
45% of the respondents claim to have seen the big chill.
This next one.
This is a real polarizing motion picture.
You bring it up in front of people,
you gotta wait a beat before you find out
what they think about it.
Not Waterworld.
No.
Because that movie,
people just immediately go to the budget and all that,
and it's not that terrible of a movie.
But a movie that I think is quite awful,
but people have in their hearts is called the bodyguard
that movie is crazy it's that'd be a fun movie to talk during have you done that no we haven't
oh my there's a guy who always brings it to choose your own pancake and he
never went it's kool-aid man and he gets angry and he never wins. It's Kool-Aid Man, and he gets angry, and he storms off stage.
All right, what does everybody think about The Bodyguard?
Whitney Houston, one of her few film roles.
Gentleman in the audience thinks it's shitty.
It's a wild ride, that movie.
It really portrays private security as an interesting thing.
I don't think they usually hire Secret Service people
that just tackle people at their shows and stuff
just because they look suspicious.
Costner gets pretty out of hand.
But then it turns out he's right.
There is someone trying to kill her.
Spoiler, yeah. out he's right there is a gentleman trying to kill her spoiler yeah who who wants to say i don't care what order you go in just give me your answer can i ask if chris has seen this before oh yeah let's
get chris first have you seen it i've seen it as when i was a kid haven't seen it as an adult so
right yeah so i don't remember much about it. I remember that song.
You should see it again because it's been a few years since you had your eyes replaced.
It is true.
I didn't.
What?
Like, explain that.
I had eye surgery three years ago.
No, I'm just joking.
I was really going to start going over it. Wow, he's really playing along with that.
I was like, oh my God.
What's your answer?
Have you seen it? Definitely over. Oh, you said you saw it when you were a kid, so you think it's an over. Yeah, for sure. If you've seen it, I'm going to start going over. Wow, he's really playing along with that. I was like, oh my God. What's your answer? Have you seen it?
Definitely over.
Oh, you said you saw it when you were kids.
You think it's an over.
If he's seen it, I'm going to go over it.
And John's going over it also.
You're the bellwether.
Yeah, I'm...
A couple of overs.
What does that mean?
I'm the bellwether.
What does that mean?
I don't know.
It's like a political term.
Peter?
It's like as you go, so goes everybody else.
Whatever you do, everybody follows.
You're the leader.
Bellwether. That's the trendsetter do, everybody follows. You're the leader. Bellwether, that's the trendsetter.
Yes, exactly.
You're the leader.
You're like a quiz influencer.
Are you going with him too, Peter?
Huh?
Are you going with him as well?
No, here's my theory.
I think more people know the song than they do the movie.
And honestly, the whole thing is very like i love that song bodyguard yeah
he's my bodyguard my bodyguard watch my body guard it guard it guard it guard it all night long
it was an early 90s bop that was actually really good oh thank you very much that could be a bop. That was actually really good. Oh, thank you very much.
That could be a bop.
Give it up. Give it up.
Somebody write that down.
Are we recording?
That movie always needed a theme song.
I did not sign a waiver for this.
What's your answer?
I'm going to say an under.
Under.
Oh, you're going under.
I'm going under. What the. Oh, you're going under.
I'm going under.
What the hell is happening?
Because this is a wild one.
Only 44% would admit to having seen the bodyguard.
That's surprising.
Sean, in a surprising turn of events, we have in this game so far, Chris and Peter are tied.
And I'd like to finish this game, because I've got one more game I'd like to play.
So let's go ahead and do a tiebreaker between the two of you.
Yes.
Peter gets to go first.
All right.
And Chris doesn't get to go at all.
If you get this right, you win.
If you get this right, you win.
If you get this wrong, Chris wins.
Oh, shh.
Yeah.
All right, Zach.
What did people say when I asked if they had seen the movie Tin Cup?
Tin Cup. Yes.
Golfing and Cheech Marin.
Golfing and Cheech Marin. Can I poll the audience or no?
No, because that's what I did and that would give you the answer.
Oh.
I mean, this is a different audience, but you know how audiences are.
You guys just blink a lot if you've seen it.
You all look stupid.
if you've seen it.
You all look stupid.
Tin Cup, Tin Cup.
I'm going to say under.
You're going under for Tin Cup?
I'm going under.
Well, you're going under.
Chris Tellez is our winner.
No!
Winner.
Winner.
I'm sorry, Zach.
All right, man. Yeah, because strangely, 65% claimed to have seen Tin Cup.
Yeah.
I'd lie about it.
Remarkable.
Remarkable turnout for Tin Cup.
I had no idea that people who followed me were such Tin Cuppers.
But there you have it.
Chris Tellez, congratulations.
You get to go first in our last game, which we will play right after this break.
We'll be right back.
We're back, and we are going to play.
Yay!
We are going to play.
Yeah!
We're going to play one last game.
This one is time road tested.
I played it before.
It's been a minute.
The guests hate it.
Here we go.
It's called, it's the original.
It's the OG game called Roll With It.
And that's where we find out how few movies Chris Tellez has access to with his brain.
Because Chris gets to go first.
I'm going to name an actor or actress.
You are going to tell me, bid essentially,
how many movies you can name that has that actress or actor in it.
Yeah, just ballpark it.
You don't want to bid too high.
Might not want to bid too low.
And then Peter is going to gonna say challenge you to do it
or he's gonna roll with it and add more names any number of names you want to add to it if he
like if chris says i can name two movies that person was in you can go i can name eight
and then john erler has to either challenge you or bid higher. And we move across like that until someone gets challenged.
And then the person who takes the challenge wins if they succeed.
If they fail, then the person who challenged them gets the point.
And I didn't mention the time yet.
It's one minute.
You get one minute.
Chris Tellez, how many films with Kevin Costner can you name in one minute?
I could name five.
I think that sounds like about the number of ones we just named.
That's about right.
So Peter, do you think you can do more than five, or do you challenge Chris to do it?
Do it.
All right.
Hang on a second, Chris.
Let me set the clock.
Are you feeling cocky, Chris?
No.
Because I know how high I am, and I can't repeat what we just said.
Nobody in the audience help him out here
because this is going to be,
this is like our chance to watch
how a brain functions
because we get to sit here
and see him trying to access
the five or six movies
that we just mentioned
to have Kevin Costner in them.
And your time starts now.
Tin Cup.
Had to get that one out of the way real fast.
Yeah.
Water World.
Uh-huh.
A Perfect World.
Oh.
Well, of course there.
The Bodyguard.
Yes.
Big Chill.
Yeah, you did it.
Woo.
Oh, Peter.
That was hard.
That was tough.
You really underestimated Chris's ability on this one.
But now, Chris has one point, but John is in the game.
John, you go first this time.
Then we go to Peter, probably for the challenge.
Feels like Peter's just going to sit there and get blown on and challenge people.
They turned it off. Thank you.
I mentioned him a second ago.
Kevin Costner's co-star in a movie.
Cheech Marin.
The films of Cheech Marin often have his name in the title.
But also plenty of others.
The guys, I've been enjoying him on the Golden Palace.
They brought back the sequel to Golden Girls.
Yeah, he and Don Cheadle play the hotel manager and the cook where three of the Golden Girls end up.
It's pretty entertaining.
Is it a multicam?
Same setup?
Yeah.
That sounds fun.
It is.
It's not as good as Golden Girls,
but it's still fun.
Because Bea Arthur's not there,
but it's still fun.
And she shows up for one or two episodes.
Who does?
Bea Arthur.
How?
Isn't she dead?
The show happened a year
after the Golden Girls ended the first time.
And now it's back because they're all fucking dead, dude.
You thought there was a new show with Cheech Marin and Don Cheadle called Golden Palace?
Yes.
I'm so sorry.
All right, so how many Cheech Marins can you name, John?
I wish I could name more, but I think three.
That's a reasonable number, I think, in this situation.
A lot of pressure.
Peter, do you challenge him to name three,
or can you name more?
Three movies with Cheech Marin.
Do it.
I mean, you know,
we got a show that needs to end soon anyway,
so might as well make this easy for everybody.
You ready, John?
I'm ready.
All right, time starts now.
Up in Smoke,
Nice Dreams,
From Dusk Till Dawn.
Yeah, you could have added Cheech and Chong's to both the first two,
but yeah, and then From Dusk Till Dawn.
Congratulations, you did it.
Great job.
I'm realizing that I fucked it up
because I thought it was either you do it or I had to do it.
Oh.
All you have to do is
sit and watch him fail.
But he didn't. He gets the point.
Oh, man. I should have said
like four and then you would have
said five and then I would have
loved you and said six.
Well, no. It would go to Chris after you. It's three
players. It moves down to Chris.
You're still in it?
Yeah, he's still in it. I think down to Chris. You're still in it? Yeah. Yeah, he's still in it.
I think I'm winning.
He's still here.
All right.
So Chris gets to go first
in what could be
the final round
because if Chris or John
wins this round,
they win.
But if Peter wins it,
we got a tie.
We got to do one more.
Chris,
how many of the films
that have Betty White in them
can you name?
Speaking of Golden Girls.
The great Betty White
made a few movies
but wasn't primarily a movie star.
She was on TV all the time.
How many do you think you can name?
And bluffing is, you know,
key sometimes.
Yeah.
I'm going to go with one.
Okay.
He says he's got the one, Peter.
Can you do more than one Betty White movie, Peter?
Two.
John Erler.
Oh, this one.
Oh, damn.
I was ready to launch it.
I'm staring.
I'm mean mugging you like...
I'm going to say name those films.
Oh, you're going to ask Peter Kim to name two Betty White movies.
If he does it, then he's going to be making...
It's going to be a three-way tie.
Very exciting finish, Peter.
I have a question, though.
Please.
Do I have to know the title?
I think that's what John is counting on,
is you not knowing the title.
I got a great description for you.
I bet you do.
And I think I'll know exactly what movie you're talking about.
I'm sure I'd know it, but you have to have the actual title.
You get a whole minute.
I get a whole minute.
Okay, let me just think it out.
Okay, I'll give you a minute to think it out.
Okay, so she's...
Spit them out, okay?
I'm going to start the clock.
Betty White says something fucking...
All right, don't talk it through.
Just keep it in your head.
Oh, I can't talk it out?
No, because people will start to agree with you if you get warm.
Oh.
Yeah, and that's cheating.
I was hoping to cheat.
Okay, your time starts now.
You've got a minute.
Name two Betty White movies.
Do you have one?
It's on the tip of my tongue.
What about the other one?
Tip of my ass.
Okay.
Okay.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
It's Steve Martin.
30 seconds. Okay okay Steve Martin
it's coming to me
he's like
trying to be
cool
with
Queen Latifah
what was the one
you were gonna say Chris
I was actually just gonna
I think she was in
Grandma's Boy
that's the one I was gonna say is she the grandma there she was in Grandma's Boy. Yes.
That's the one I was going to say.
Is she the grandma?
There's a lot of old women. No, she's not the grandma.
That's Shirley Jones.
Yeah.
All right.
Why is she...
No more audience help.
Okay, okay.
You've got no seconds.
Oh, damn it.
Do you know what I'm talking about, though?
Late Placid with the alligators?
Huh?
No. The Proposal with Sandra Bullock? Oh, that's
a good one. That's what he meant, yeah. Do you guys know what
I'm talking about, though? What?
Bring it down the house! She's in that?
She says something crazy racist
in it, and you're just like,
oh my god, how is she doing this?
Because she's Betty White,
that's how. I know. Yeah. America's sweetheart, and probably that was the joke, is how offensive she doing this? Because she's Betty White, that's how. I know.
Yeah, America's sweetheart.
And probably that was the joke,
is how offensive she was being.
But I'm not a big fan of that movie, I gotta say.
Regardless of anything problematic about it in our current times.
But Chris Tellez is our winner!
He did it somehow!
I brought in two ringers
and Chris took it down. It's amazing.
Congratulations, Chris. What do you got
to plug? What would you like to plug today?
Well, I mean, for South by People,
I'll be here Sunday at the Armadillo
Den.
I don't know, like Doug mentioned earlier,
I recorded my album a few months ago.
Also, thanks to Doug,
because he was kind enough to do a set on the show for me,
so I appreciate that.
But just follow me on social media,
Instagram, whatever.
I usually post what's coming up.
I'll keep you updated on the album and stuff.
Yeah, and who were you playing for?
You were playing for?
Rogelio.
That's not how you say it.
Congratulations, Marcelo. Marcelo.
Marcelo.
Marcelo the shell-o.
Didn't John challenge him?
What's that?
Oh, you won?
Alright, give that back, Marcelo.
Oh, man.
I just want as many people to touch this as possible.
You really were the winner? I didn't as many people to touch this as possible.
You really were the winner?
No, I think you did win.
I thought I was up a point.
Yeah, but he's got two points
and you got one. No, because
Peter could have had a three-way tie, right?
No, because Peter never got a
point in this game. I know. I lost
for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pretty sure I
won. Yeah, so John Erler won.
Who are you playing for?
Garbage Lady. Garbage Lady.
Congratulations, Natalie Garbage.
Sorry about the
mix-up. Yeah, share
the stuff.
They're sharing the winnings.
You guys, this is Austin. Yeah, she gave him the
bucket hat. He really wins.
And the pipe.
Nice.
Good hat.
That worked out beautifully.
Good hat.
Just as I planned.
It says it's huge.
Well, Chris, take back your plugs.
John, you get to do your plugs first.
What would you like to plug?
I'm going to go home and do a Twitch broadcast tonight.
So anybody going home after this can watch it.
We're doing a double feature of The Hunger Games and Hunger Games 2 Catching Fire.
Yeah, race home, everybody.
It's going to be dangerous down here tonight anyway.
Yeah.
And then next Friday, we're going to do,
for the very first time ever,
in honor of the 50th anniversary of The Godfather,
we're doing Goodfellas.
No, we're going to do Godfather,
the original Godfather.
Oh, nice.
Next Friday, so tune in to that.
That's very cool.
All right.
Congratulations on your win.
I'm sorry that I didn't know what the fuck was happening.
That's okay.
I felt good for Chris.
I try to give the prize back to the wrong person occasionally.
It just makes the show more exciting.
Peter?
Yes?
What would you like to plug, sir?
You can watch on Amazon Prime.
I play Benny Choi on the show Fairfax. Yeah. What would you like to plug, sir? You can watch on Amazon Prime.
I play Benny Choi on the show Fairfax.
Yeah.
It's really fun.
Thank you for watching.
And yeah, I'm at Peter KZ on the socials.
And bitch ass, find out about bitch ass.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Right on, Peter.
Great first time on the show. Thank you i got people love you yeah well you know but you're it was fun to watch you struggle and doug loves movies is coming to
the improv in miami on saturday april 9th at 4 20 for all my dates and deeds, go to Douglovesmovies.com You tried, you tried.
You tried. Wallet! You tried to do it,
but all that clapping, all that
thunderous applause
drowned out the
callback.
One more time for Chris Tellez,
Peter Kim
John Erler
South by Southwest
The Creek in the Cave
Comedy at South by Southwest
as always
get that end theme ready
and then I woke up up.