Doug Loves Movies - John Hodgman, Bonnie McFarlane, and 10 Others Guest

Episode Date: December 2, 2014

Live from the Gramercy Theater, Doug kicks off the New York edition of the 12 Guests of Christmas competition with John Hodgman, Bonnie McFarlane, and 11 other guests.See Privacy Policy at ht...tps://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, Stingy seats with 50 Adam Rockwell journals in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, Cause Doug loves movies! Hey everybody! Hey everybody! My name is Doug. I'm going to do it right tonight. My name's Doug, and I love movies.
Starting point is 00:00:52 This is I Love Movies. Yes. Hello. We're coming to you once again for the first time two nights in a row. And I just ran up the stairs from, because I forgot my phone. We're about to play a massive edition of Leonard Mullen game. So it's probably the most important thing for me to have right now. I forgot it.
Starting point is 00:01:14 I ran back and got it. Oh, my God. I'm so excited to be at the Gramercy Theater. It's the 12 Guests of Christmas. You heard Ricky and Kate and Hard and Firm performing a Christmassy theme, Christmassy version of the theme.
Starting point is 00:01:35 Right? That's what played? Yeah. Okay, good. Everyone's looking at me like, what are you talking about? Of course, it's Monday, December 1st, and I have exactly 12 guests ready to play a single elimination version
Starting point is 00:01:52 of the Leonard Maltin game. So let's get them out here. I got some Star Wars Minute T-shirts in the bag, and I've also got a sippy cup from when I saw Cabaret. And I've got a Gateway Dog 2 Forced Fun. And, boy, that Emma Stone was really good in that. And then, yeah, and then whatever all the other 12 guests bring. So it's going to be, you're going to be carrying a lot of shit out of here.
Starting point is 00:02:24 Whoever wins the prize bag filled with stuff from John Hodgman, Bonnie McFarlane, Rob Cantrell, Dan Schechter, Chris Tinkle, Ben Bailey, Carmen Lynch, Trey Galleon, Seth Herzog, Greg
Starting point is 00:02:39 Wyshynski, Doogie Horner, and Ted Alexandro. That's still wherever you like. Thank you. Alright, and pinch hitting for the absent Ted Alexandro is our pal from last night. He goes by the name Jesse Pasternak is here. He's getting up out of his seat, and he's going to come and join us. And Ted's in luck tonight, because if he shows up late, whatever Jesse's done so far will count. And I guarantee you, he'll still be sitting there, because he is a
Starting point is 00:03:47 wunderkind. 18 years old, and he's a film expert, so good luck to everybody. Oh, Lord. There he is. All right, well, I'll interview all the players as we start the game,
Starting point is 00:04:08 as we do every year in the amazing Clusterfuck. But so excited to be doing it for the first time here in New York City. And having so much fun. Oh, shit, Ted Alexandro is here! John Hodgman is mad! Stuhl is flying! Oh, no! Four more years! I want to see Ted get in a fight now with Jesse.
Starting point is 00:04:44 And that's our official winner of the Pete Holmes game is Seth Herzog. He was the first one to get his grubby mitts on a microphone and start talking when nobody asked him to. Yep. I can see why you'd name that after Pete. Congratulations. He's the best at it. He just won the award himself just on the last visit. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:04 He's always going to win that one. I got a microphone too, but I was waiting for it to be the right time. So you have the TJ Miller award. Yeah! All right, so let me explain a couple of things. Well, actually, I'm sorry you guys are all seated so comfortably
Starting point is 00:05:23 because this is the part where everybody's going to show you their name tags and you're going to select the person that you would like to play for tonight and win all of the fabulous prizes and I go to commercial but I did that already yeah just go grab the one you like there, Bonnie. There's lots
Starting point is 00:05:48 of good ones. It's good to see Alf is out there. Life of Ryan, you changed the I to a Y. It's pretty... I don't know why you're not getting picked. Devin Decker, his name tag got picked. He was in line eight hours ago.
Starting point is 00:06:09 We got a couple of, we got an actual leg lamp and we've got a drawing of a leg lamp. It's a big year for leg lamp. Is anyone going up into the balcony? Oh, there's people in the balcony. Look at that. Yeah. And there's something, there's people in the balcony. Look at that. Yeah. And there's something.
Starting point is 00:06:26 There's a really long thing across. There's a super huge fortune cookie back there. That's a long-ass fortune. There's a blow-up turkey and a blow-up snowman. There's an actual pizza. There's a full pizza. Could you mime it so that the turkey looks like he's blowing the penguin? Or the other way around?
Starting point is 00:06:47 Turkey blowing the penguin. I call the snowman a penguin. Oh my god. That's funny. The turkey's definitely butt-fucking the snowman. Oh my god. I don't know why that didn't get picked. With his beak.
Starting point is 00:07:03 With his beak. That's never going to be not hilarious. Watching that happen. I can't believe no one picked the whole pizza. Wow. What? It's hot. You're still talking about the pizza?
Starting point is 00:07:20 Well, that's congratulations. You get to enjoy that pizza while you watch the show. You smuggled a pizza into a venue that doesn't allow that shit. It's a good job, man. No, we're good. Shut up. I take it back. Does anybody want a slice?
Starting point is 00:07:37 Jesse wants a slice? Okay, he's good. But thank you. That's a really rude thing to say to free pizza. That's a piece of this guy's fucking pizza, man. Jesus. Maybe some of us had a full meal before coming to the show tonight. Okay, there we go.
Starting point is 00:07:51 Ben Bailey. What a sweet guy. Sweet guy. Ben Bailey stepping up from New York City. Hey, as long as you're right there, why don't you give the guy a quick stoplight challenge? I'm the world's biggest Cash Cam fan. Is it gluten-free? If it's not gluten-free,
Starting point is 00:08:12 then I don't want it. Kidding. I don't know what gluten-free is. Is it Ruthie-free? I'll try some. Doug, I've got to be honest with you. This pizza is fucking horrible. Don't eat that. This is the worst fucking
Starting point is 00:08:32 pizza I've ever had in my life. Hodgman, did you touch every single piece? Dude, now that pizza's worth a lot of money. All right, you guys. Here's what's going to happen. We're going to start right here to my left with Mr. John Hodgman.
Starting point is 00:09:00 Pass him a microphone. Hello. This is what we're going to put each of the contestants through as we go through and play the game. We're going to ask, who are you playing for? Got any plugs? What movie have you seen? Like, most recent movie you saw?
Starting point is 00:09:16 And then the last question we ask you is, are you ready to play? Okay, I can answer those questions in seven names. How many names? I am John Hodgman. Oh, hang on. I was just an example. I'm going to ask you those questions in a second. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:09:35 Still true. Getting ahead of myself. Because we're going to start, we're going to get the Leonard Maltin game going. You know what? Yeah, go ahead and answer those three questions. First of all, I'm playing for Gary. Gary, I don't want this pizza. Take the pizza, Gary.
Starting point is 00:09:54 Pass it back to Gary, please. Please throw it over here. Gary, yes. He caught it. Gary made a nice... I changed my mind. Now I want a piece of pizza. You guys reacted like he threw a baby into the audience.
Starting point is 00:10:11 It was just a piece of pizza. Who wants a piece of pizza? He caught it. He caught it, too. Overhand a piece of pizza into the audience. Cheese first. It's like, how bad do you want pizza? I didn't play you that way, Gary, didn't I?
Starting point is 00:10:36 I underhanded it to you. Cheese up. I know how to throw a slice of pizza. I'm in entertainment. Monstrous. Good title for your next book. Hand it to him. Cheese up. Okay, so you're playing for Gary.
Starting point is 00:10:51 Gary had this nice name tag with all these different Garys. Famous Garys. Famous Garys. Although, so you got Gary Cole down at the bottom. They're all the Garys. Gary Shandling. Gary Sinise. Gary Busey. Gary, what's his name? You know him. Shandling. Shandling, Gary Sinise, Gary Busey, Gary... What's his name? You know him.
Starting point is 00:11:06 Shandling. Shandling. Did I say that? Oldman. Oldman, thank you. And then Gary Marshall at the bottom. But this Gary has two R's in it, so this name tag is wrong. I should remind all the contestants, if there's a shithead on the back of your name tag,
Starting point is 00:11:22 don't read it out loud. Some of the guests are new to the show tonight, so we'll be extra patient with them. And have you been to the movies lately, John? I have not been to the movies. Perfect. Let's move along. And do you have any particular projects you'd like to plug this evening? I am. Because, hang on, when you lose tonight, or if you lose tonight,
Starting point is 00:11:44 you will be asked to leave the stage immediately. And the signal that you have gone, that you've left us, will be this sound. Is that a sound that's unique to me or every player? That is the noise you hear when a child dies in the Hunger Games. Oh, that's why you have my holographic face up there in the
Starting point is 00:12:11 rafters. But we didn't take their sound effect. I don't want to get sued. We went to a free sound effect site. Doug had me come in and bang a timpani earlier today with it. Boom.
Starting point is 00:12:28 That sounds like I got you a whore from another country. Doug, I'm glad. A whore. I purchased a whore for him. All right, settle down. Why am I the one that's the hardest to keep? You know what I mean. Quiet.
Starting point is 00:12:48 Keep quiet is what you mean. Hi, I'm John. Plugs? Do we do plugs? I'm the host of the Judge John Hodgman Podcast on the Maxman Fund Network. He is the decider. And also put a thing into your internet navigator,
Starting point is 00:13:06 bit.ly slash not a cult and see what happens. The end. Oh, and what did you bring for the prize bag? I brought in my own personal Ragnarok survival kit. This was made up for my DVD of my Netflix special Ragnarok. It includes the extended DVD of my special, as well as other things you need to survive the end of the world, including survival mayonnaise, a flask for your own urine,
Starting point is 00:13:33 a sample of my genetic material, mustache clippings, my consciousness on a thumb drive, and a signature fragrance called Sperm by John Hodgman. Also, I include a gift certificate so you can get your own free in your size t-shirt from the Canadian House of Pizza and Garbage as featured on the Judge John Hodgman podcast. End of plug.
Starting point is 00:13:56 Nice to meet you. Okay, so now I realize I have to ask each person five questions. Are you ready to play, John? Yes. Wait. Yes! Did not exactly bring up the end.
Starting point is 00:14:14 We'll edit out that first one. Oh, John, I'm sorry to do this to you, man. You don't get to choose from the categories. Fine. I'm just going to... These are categories. You don't get to choose from the categories. Fine. I'm just gonna... These are categories that just don't get picked. Good. I want to burn them off.
Starting point is 00:14:31 They're designed for me. This one is called... Classic burn it off on Hodgman category. The Skeleton Twins. And it's the films of Ashley and Kate Olsen. Mary Kate Olsen. Mary Kate Olsen.
Starting point is 00:14:47 I just call her Kate. Let's play the sound effect now. 2004. Oh, a later one. It's the year. It's movies about twin sisters. He gave it two and a half stars. Two stars would have been funnier, maybe.
Starting point is 00:15:19 But these are twin sisters. They've grown apart. I'm sure that's just how it begins. And then he says it's just how it begins. And then he says it's an innocuous vehicle. And someone in the movie plays an
Starting point is 00:15:35 overzealous truant officer. So they are getting older. If they're ditching school. And Leonard Maltin lists five, six, seven, ten names. How many names can you name it in, John? Thirty-five. Or ten. Okay, he's opening with a ten-name bid.
Starting point is 00:16:01 Let's meet our next guest. See how this is going to work? Strong opening bid. Let's meet our next guest. See how this is going to work? Strong opening bid. Alright, Greg. It's Greg Wyshynski. Said it right. I always want to say Wyshynski. That's fine. Wyshynski.
Starting point is 00:16:17 Greg Wyshynski. A popular hockey blogger who, yeah. Who I just threw a grapevine maybe from a tweet he wrote, found out, I found out he was a big Douglas movies fan. And I was just like, dude, if I ever need a guest in New York, I'll hit you up. And then now here we are. And I'm excited to have you here. It's like that succession to the president where there's some way from a representative from Kentucky can become president if enough people die.
Starting point is 00:16:46 That's how I ended up here, I think. Without discussing it with you in advance, I just want you to answer this question honestly. I think I know what you're going to say. Is Goon the best hockey movie ever made?
Starting point is 00:17:01 Well, Doug, it's an interesting question. Many people would go... I'll take this one, Doug. Many people would say Slapshot is the best hockey movie of all time. Good. I love Slapshot, don't get me wrong. And they'd be goddamn right. Good by the great Jay
Starting point is 00:17:17 Baruchel was also a great hockey movie. But Doug, I have an offbeat, off-kilter answer. Oh, Miracle? It's true. No, not Mir miracle. No, no, sir. The true answer, ladies and gentlemen, to what's the best hockey movie of all time is, of course... The Love Guru. Sudden Death. Oh.
Starting point is 00:17:35 In which Sean Claude Van Damme, playing a Pittsburgh fireman, saves the igloo in Pittsburgh during the Stanley Cup final from terrorists, and, as you all know, at one point, kills the Penguins mascot in a dishwasher. There's only one answer. I wish I only had one question for you, because you killed that one.
Starting point is 00:18:03 Who are you playing for? I am playing for Jodi and Kermit. And Jodi writes a message on her name tag here. Jodi says, It's not easy being Jodi Brown's Requiem for a Dreamcatcher. Be right again against all odds Against tomorrow the world's end Of Watchmen don't leaving Las Vegas
Starting point is 00:18:22 Food lot jingle This is like my own medicine having to sit through this. Jingle all the Wayne's World, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Actually writes blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Nicely done. That's very cute. There's a Miss Piggy Pez dispenser.
Starting point is 00:18:37 And you can put that up Kermit's ass if you want. And is it safe to assume there's a shithead on the back? There is indeed. Okay, don't say it out loud. All right. You know how it's done.
Starting point is 00:18:48 I do. And, oh, anything to plug? How can people read your hockey blog? The blog is called Puck Daddy. It's on Yahoo Sports. Not just a search engine, a content provider. And also I have a podcast called The Merrick vs. Wyshynski Podcast on iTunes.
Starting point is 00:19:05 Oh, that's where every week you fight the elephant man? Yes. And he sits all inside. I'm a human being. No, you're not. You're an elephant. So yeah, it's a good podcast. Not at all.
Starting point is 00:19:21 John Hodgman. John Hodgman did 10 names. How many names can you get it in, Garth? I can get it in... Name that movie, John Hodgman John Hodgman bid ten names how many names can you get it in I can get it in name that movie John Hodgman oh no oh John
Starting point is 00:19:31 I can't believe it's come to this it's possible he knows it he might know it I just want to point out he might know it the gentleman
Starting point is 00:19:39 is wearing a Hartford Whalers t-shirt so he cannot be all bad. If he had done the right thing, I would have played Brass Bonanza off my phone for him. But he is also
Starting point is 00:19:51 a fan of my Nemesis podcast, the Flophouse podcast. And therefore, he wants to kill me. This has all been a setup from the beginning. Just wanted to say that when I make my guess. You know you chose
Starting point is 00:20:07 to sit next to him, right? I just, I wanted to sit on a stool and this was the last one. I'm not a chair man, I'm a stool man. Gross. Moving on. I like a stool with a back on it.
Starting point is 00:20:23 Your ten names, you get to hear the whole cast. Yeah, well, that'll help. You know two of them already. That'll narrow it down. It might. It might. Sure. It might.
Starting point is 00:20:32 You know some of these people. Jack Osborne was in this movie. Tony winner Andrea Martin was in this movie. I was hanging out with Andrea and Osborne just last week. There you go. You know them, yeah. Daryl Hammond. Uh-huh. There you go. You know them, yeah. Daryl Hammond. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 00:20:46 Dr. Drew Pinsky. Oh, boy. For that scene where they're in rehab. Jared Padalecki is in this movie. Uh-huh. Riley Smith. Uh-huh. Girls were going crazy for him.
Starting point is 00:20:59 Andy Richter. Okay. Eugene Levy. Hang on, let me just... And the twins. And am I allowed to text Andy Richter? Ashley. Eugene Levy. Hang on, let me just... And the twins. And am I allowed to text Andy Richter? Ashley and Mary-Kate. You know what?
Starting point is 00:21:11 I think there's a chance he'll be high and won't know the answer. It would be unfair in any case. I can only vaguely remember the premise of one of those. And having not seen any of them, they go to Paris. And I think it's called They Go to Paris.
Starting point is 00:21:30 Or Coma. It's either one of those. They came up with the titles of They Go to Paris. Yeah. I think that's probably right. They Go to Paris. Olsen twins in They Go to Paris. What else are they going to do? Stay in the
Starting point is 00:21:45 United States for a New York Minute, was the name of the movie, New York Minute. John Hodgman, thank you so much for coming down here. You are no longer
Starting point is 00:22:01 with us. If you don't mind. I feel so bad about this part. The first person that gets kicked off is more often than not the best person. You lost a guest, I lost a friend. All right, Greg. Good job.
Starting point is 00:22:26 I was thinking he was going to be a little bit yappy. Dude, I think we were all planning on riding him for a while. I don't know what... Can anyone else on the panel, just for fun, can anyone else on the panel name another Olsen twins movie? No. Yeah, right? No. Thanks for speaking for everybody. You nodded like you knew the name
Starting point is 00:22:47 of that one, like you knew it was the New York one. I didn't have the stones to guess New York Minute. But you thought of it. I did. God damn. Well, it won Best Picture at the Cannes Film Festival. Do you mean a non- porn Olsen twins?
Starting point is 00:23:05 Wait, there's porn? there? They got porn? Yeah, but it's not them who play it. Two of us were interested in that. It's other twins who play the Olsen twins. It's other twins with the same last name, but not them. It's a different Olsen twins. They're black. Pete and Bill Olsen.
Starting point is 00:23:27 It's two black dudes That got put into a lot of players On accident in front of the children Let's watch the Olsen twins We are the Olsen twins Watch what we do now Did I go too far with that? Sorry Trey Gallion is up next
Starting point is 00:23:47 ladies and gentlemen he's a frequent yeah hello he's been on the show before also yeah anybody ever needs to go to the restroom needs anything to drink
Starting point is 00:23:55 feel free to jump up if you're a few players away because you'll see how it's progressing to you slowly but Trey gets to pick the next category nice we'll put him on autopilot until he gets back slowly. But Trey gets to pick the next category. Nice. We'll put him on autopilot until he gets back.
Starting point is 00:24:11 The listeners have no idea why anyone's laughing at that. No idea whatsoever. I wonder if they're guessing right now. But we'll get to you in a second there, Ben. Put the brakes on your cash cab, buddy. I think you only invite me here
Starting point is 00:24:29 so you can make little cash cab jokes about me. Because I love it. I love it. Who wants to hear cash cab jokes more than me? A lot of people want to hear them more than I do. A stoplight challenge. He loves it, but he calls it a fucking stoplight challenge. That's really getting to you, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:24:49 It didn't happen enough on the show for my taste. A red light challenge. That was fun because he pulled it into a neighborhood with whorehouses. And whoever dropped their nut the quickest would get an extra 50 bucks. A red light district challenge. I like it. What haven't I asked you yet, Trey? Who are you playing for?
Starting point is 00:25:14 I'm playing for the Da Vinci Cody. All right. Yeah. He was sitting way up in the top, and I mean, look, he clearly printed that out
Starting point is 00:25:23 right before he left. Oh, yeah. That's why he got that shitty seat, because he was busy printing that shit out. And it's a little shady looking, so he had to be up there going, there is no way anybody is coming up there. I'm taking this one. Plus, Ted
Starting point is 00:25:34 totally swiped the one I was going for. So this was plan B. Good job, Ted. Oh. Ooh. I guess someone's better off Ted you been to the movies lately Trey? no but I got
Starting point is 00:25:51 I got any plugs? so I got shit alright yeah what'd you bring for the bag? oh I brought a copy of my CD The Moronic which is on iTunes and shit you can get that
Starting point is 00:26:03 and then I brought a copy of Hunter Thompson's Hell's Angels. Because they should have made a movie out of that instead of the Rum Diaries. Someone's going to get a lot of culture in their face when they win this thing. Word! Pass those down to me. I'll put them in the bag. Thank you. And what are your plugs, buddy?
Starting point is 00:26:19 Colorado Springs. Yeah. January 8th through 10th. I'll be getting high and telling jokes there. Okay, that's a good plan. Ith. I'll be getting high telling jokes there. Oh, okay, that's a good plan. Yeah. I was going to say, they don't have comedy there. Totally, they will that week. Greg, I never asked you what you brought for the prize bag.
Starting point is 00:26:33 Let's show them real quick. Real quick. Yeah, put your drink on John's seat. That's perfect. There you go, a memorial. You made yourself a little cocktail stand when you kicked him out. I bought a copy of my book, Glow Pucks and Ten Cent Beer, The 101 Worst Ideas in Sports History.
Starting point is 00:26:50 And more importantly, I have bought for the lucky winner a men's national team hockey jersey from Puerto Rico. Wow. That's rare. Pyeongchang 2018, ladies and gentlemen, is when Puerto Rico will make their presence known for the gold medal. Puerto Rico has ice now.
Starting point is 00:27:15 That's new. Dude, that's so good. I brought some of Hodgman's sperm, too. Is that sweet? I would sleep in this jersey and keep a broom next to my bed, and if there's any disturbance or earthquake or something, I just run out of the hall screaming and, you know, throwing the broom.
Starting point is 00:27:32 I might as well have a hockey stick, right? Can the regular public buy those? Do I need to get on a waiting list? Is there a government check? Are you ready to... Are you ready, Trey? Yeah, let's do this. What are we doing?
Starting point is 00:27:48 Yeah. We're going to play the next round. Fuck yeah. You get to start it off. You don't get to pick the category, but I'm sure you're going to love it because it's one nobody wants to pick. It's Tickle Me, Elmore,
Starting point is 00:28:00 and it's comedies based on the writings of Elmore Leonard who you know Elmore Leonard so so Trey might be in a spot here should have played my poker face on yeah but should have poker mouthed it also and not said that out loud so Carmen you're gonna be up next. Get ready. Two and a half stars, Trey, for this movie from 2005. Then I may have seen it. You may have, yeah. Yeah, I see a lot of shitty movies. He says about this movie that one of the actors in this movie is especially funny.
Starting point is 00:28:38 He says... He says James Woods appears unbilled. And he says the other appears on Build and he says the movie also has the movie has other cameo appearances and Leonard Liss, yeah great clues
Starting point is 00:28:59 13 names how many names can you get it in Trey? I hope Hodgman's here still so I can get my picture with him before he leaves. Because I'm going to be Nick. Alright, 13. He wants all the names. That's a lot of names. That is a lot of names. That might bring the title
Starting point is 00:29:16 of the movie to mind, but let's meet, before we continue, let's meet Carmen Lynch, everybody! Is there another mic? Very funny stand-up comedian who I... Hi. Sorry, Bonnie. Okay, here we go.
Starting point is 00:29:32 Oh, what? No, did a drink get knocked over? What? Yeah, all over the wires. Oh, no. Was that me? Now I'm gonna die. I don't know why I thought a bunch of comics would be able to pass some mics around. It's kind of a professional thing. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:29:49 Yeah, you do need your own. Bonnie's been saying this funny stuff over there and nobody's hearing it. She doesn't even bother to try to get a microphone. But I love it. It's easier to keep going if I'm not getting interrupted constantly. Bonnie! Bonnie! Bonnie! I don't know. I love it. It's easier to keep going if I'm not getting interrupted constantly. Body, body. Carmen, hi.
Starting point is 00:30:10 Yes, hi. Thank you for being here. First time guest, everybody. Yes, thank you. Jumping in the deep end. I've listened to a lot of your podcasts since you've asked me to do this. Oh, that's good. You're really boned up.
Starting point is 00:30:25 So you think you're going to be good at this? No. Okay. So let's get all your important things out of the way in case you have to leave us. What have you got to plug? What's coming up on your calendar? Oh, I'm at Rooster Teeth Feathers. That's... Sunnyvale, California. Sunnyvale, California. Where Buffy the Vampire
Starting point is 00:30:42 Slayer lives. And the Charleston Comedy Festival in South Carolina. Oh, California. Where Buffy the Vampire Slayer lives. And the Charleston Comedy Festival in South Carolina. Oh, neat. That's in January. I'm going to be doing that, too. Really? Oh, sweet. And John Mulaney and Hannibal Buress. Oh, we're all in the same level. Oh, and Bill Cosby had to cancel
Starting point is 00:30:58 his appearance. Bill Cosby can't make it. Right. Cosby's not going to be there. It's his decision on that one. I don't know why. He'd want to run into me probably. Or just at Lynch, Carmen,
Starting point is 00:31:12 there's other stuff on that. Just look at that. Yeah, okay. Terrific. And have you been to the movies lately? Have you seen any?
Starting point is 00:31:19 Yes, I saw The Theory of Everything. Oh, was it good? With Stephen Hawking. The real Stephen Hawking. So people in the front row just went, ugh. I went with my parents, so I had to go.
Starting point is 00:31:34 You sure that you weren't just doing an imitation of him? But that Eddie Redmayne... I almost did it! I couldn't do it. Eddie Redmayne nails it, though, right? I'm sorry? The guy that plays Hawking's really good.
Starting point is 00:31:49 Yeah, he's that guy in Les Mis, the really sad, pathetic one that's in love with the girl. Oh, and stop saying Hawking's, you guys. It's Hawking. Hawking. Yeah, stop it. Like, who said Hawking? Right? It's not Hawking?
Starting point is 00:32:03 And who are you playing for, Carmen? I said Hawkins. I'm playing for Geo Rassic Park. Nice. Great movie. And this is a person named George? Jeff. Jeff.
Starting point is 00:32:16 Wow. Jeff Rassic Park. Welcome to Jeff Rassic Park. All right, fair enough And if there's a shithead written on the back Just don't read it out loud, Carmen That's for the end of the show And what did you bring for the prize bank?
Starting point is 00:32:32 I brought a bunch of stuff I've been doing a lot of festivals So I brought a lot of stuff From Soaps I brought an extra t-shirt From the Maui Comedy Festival And a burrito, a gift certificate from Chipotle from Bumbershoot and a bunch of other stuff like if I hope a girl gets this
Starting point is 00:32:51 yeah so unless you're a boy that's a heavy bag of tampons and tampons thank you there's some stuff to put in your hair lots of stuff thank you. There's some stuff to put in your hair. Lots of stuff. Thank you, Carmen. You're welcome. The person next to you, Trey Galleon, he went with all the names, 13 names.
Starting point is 00:33:15 How many names do you think it would take you to name this movie? Can I have him name that show? Name the movie? What's that? I want to say a number. I do not. No, because I want to stay You have to say a number. You have to... I do not. Well, I mean, you could say... No, because I want to stay.
Starting point is 00:33:28 You could say zero names. I want to stay. And you think you know the name of the movie? So say zero names if you think you know it. No, I don't. I just want to challenge him because I don't think he knows. He's going to get all the names. Oh, right.
Starting point is 00:33:40 So you could just say... You could just say 12 names and hope that Chris Tinkle bids lower than you when it gets to him. He won't, I can tell. I don't know, man. He's cagey. Because you'll get all but one name. I mean, it's a lot of names.
Starting point is 00:33:55 Sometimes you recognize the movie. I feel like I'm being forced to do that. Should I do that? No, no. That's what you're supposed to do, Carmen. I think he doesn't know it. I'm going to have to name that too. That's the choice you're supposed to make.
Starting point is 00:34:06 Name the movie. All right. Trey Gallion has to name this movie, and I will be surprised if he can't. No, I'll be surprised if you don't get this. Oh, wait. What year is it again? Can you give me that? No, I'm not going to give you anything.
Starting point is 00:34:18 I'm going to give you all the names. I'll give you the year again. All right. 2005. Oh, I got this. I think you're going to get it, but we'll see. Good luck to both of you. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:34:30 Paul Adelstein or Adelstein? Bonnie. Fucking war, man. Debbie Mazur. Not really. Okay. Debbie Mazur. Alright. Robert Pastorelli. Danny DeVito. The Rock. Harvey Keitel,
Starting point is 00:34:46 Christina Milan, Steven Tyler, Andre Benjamin, Cedric the Entertainer, Vince Vaughn, Uma Thurman, and John Travolta, the movie is called... No! I still don't know it. I still have no fucking idea. You don't know what that movie is. No.
Starting point is 00:35:08 You're out, Tray God. Oh, my God. How the fuck do I not know that movie? Take the microphone away from him. I know. That's the only movie any of those people would be in to get. What'd you say? I have no idea
Starting point is 00:35:26 what the fuck it is. It was the sequel to Get Shorty is called Be Cool. Be Cool. And lots of people were squirming in the audience because they knew
Starting point is 00:35:36 what it was. And Dan Schechter on the panel definitely knew what it was because he adapted another Elmore story for the awesome film Life of Crime.
Starting point is 00:35:43 Thank you, Trey Gallagher, and we'll see you later. Shouldn't you have to tell if it's a sequel or not? That seems like something that should be said. I don't want him back, by the way. If I said an Elmore Leonard novel
Starting point is 00:36:02 that's a sequel, that's the only one. It narrows it down. There's no guessing left. If you know that information. But he still wouldn't have gotten Be Cool. I don't know. I mean, I'm always mystified when somebody gets all the names.
Starting point is 00:36:18 I mean, the movie was. The movie. Okay, so that's why I'm glad Bonnie doesn't have a microphone most of the time No he was being so funny behind me he really was I don't know why
Starting point is 00:36:28 now I'm being mean He's hilarious So I can get a laugh or two Oh yeah No it's all good Congratulations to Carmen she survived that Yeah
Starting point is 00:36:40 Good job Chris Tinkle is here you guys it's here for Chris Tinkle. Very funny stand-up. Where do you... What's up, buddy? Where did you stand on that?
Starting point is 00:36:50 Were you zoning in on it? Did you think it would be cool? Yes. At what point did you know it? As soon as you... Andre Benjamin? Yes. I think that's a pretty good turning point in that list.
Starting point is 00:37:01 Because he's in that movie and that other one and that third one. And The Rock was like the only funny part of that movie, so I kind of figured it out. Oh yeah, The Rock. He killed it. It was terrible.
Starting point is 00:37:11 Awesome. Would you, uh... He's gay. No, hold on. Why did you just say he's gay when somebody else said that? Hold on, he's gay!
Starting point is 00:37:19 The character in the film is gay. The Rock is gay. The Rock is not gay. No, The Rock isn't gay, but what's his real name? Dwayne. Dwayne Johnson's gay as fuck. Dwayne Johnson is gay. Dwayne Johnson is gay. The Rock is not gay. No, The Rock isn't gay, but what's his real name? Dwayne Johnson is gay as fuck. Dwayne Johnson is gay.
Starting point is 00:37:28 Dwayne Johnson is gay. That's why he's going by Dwayne Johnson now, as he came out from under The Rock. That's right. Boom! Boom! Good night. Good night, Doug.
Starting point is 00:37:38 Doug Benson has retired from comedy. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. Alright, so... Rock Hudson? Other gay rocks. Category. Let's be the category, yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:00 Rilfs. Gay stuff. Does anybody need to get out of here by a certain time? Just out of curiosity. And I mean the audience as well. We need every last one of ya. Who can stay till the very end?
Starting point is 00:38:18 Is it kind of in the back? Yeah, I gotta get going. I got an Uber outside. I have two minutes. Chris Tinkle, who are you playing for? I am playing for Star Lars. It's a Photoshop. It looks like Princess Leia is protecting Luke Skywalker's dick.
Starting point is 00:38:38 It's the old poster. It's really weird. And it's someone named Lars. Yes. Oh, okay. Good for you. They're out there in the balcony. Oh, great job.
Starting point is 00:38:44 Thanks for going up to the balcony. And what did you bring for the prize bag? I brought a copy of my new album, Maybe I Don't Feel Like Smiling, and a copy of the old album. What's that one called? Almost Awesome. It turns out I have a really poor self-image, apparently. I'd say the second album should have been called Got There or something like that, you
Starting point is 00:39:03 know? But I like the title of the second one, too. So can you pass those down to me, and I'll put them with all the other stuff. And have you been to the movies lately? Yes, I did. I went and saw the Babadook. Oh. Babadook.
Starting point is 00:39:16 It's like a game that fucks up a family? Don't tell us. It's a storybook. Wow. You told me about it just last night, Jesse. That's what I retained. Yeah, it's a storybook. It's a toy that does things. It's a storybook. You told me about it just last night, Jesse. That's what I retained. It's a toy that does things. It's really good.
Starting point is 00:39:30 It's like Australian, so it's like, I don't know. It's good. Really good. It's scary as fuck. It's like Australian, so I don't know. I don't know about that. I don't know why that's happening. How'd that movie even get here? They have planes over there now? That was all prisoners over there.
Starting point is 00:39:49 What are they doing making movies? So, why aren't they all jailbreak movies? So, yes, it's possible to be too high. And I want to know another thing about you, like your plugs. Like what? Oh, plugs. I'm not accusing you of having fake hair. It's just real hair, Doug.
Starting point is 00:40:11 It's just real hair. What? I will be at the Sacramento Punchline and the American Comedy Club in January. So you can go to my website, christingle.com, for dates. And you can get my new album on iTunes and stuff. When are you going to be in January. So you can go to my website, christingle.com, for dates. And you can get my new album on iTunes and stuff. Where are you going to be in January?
Starting point is 00:40:29 Sacramento Punchline and then the American Comedy Company. What are your Punchline dates, though? What's up? What are the dates at the Punchline? God damn it, I knew you were going to ask me, dude.
Starting point is 00:40:36 I just forgot. The 12th through the something. That sounds good. There you go. Thanks, buddy. Yeah, just go on the 12th and stay for all of it, you guys. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:45 It's a really fun mall. How about Arden Mall? No fucking Australians allowed at my shows. Oh, my. All right, you're starting off the next one here, Chris, and then our buddy
Starting point is 00:40:57 Jesse Pasternak's coming up next. Yeah, his family's cheering for him out there. The 96-year-old didn't make it tonight, though? No, but my brother is. Your brother's here, yeah. That's cool.
Starting point is 00:41:09 Thank you. We'll talk to you in a second. Slow down. I'm so close to where we're talking to you. Your category, Chris, as suggested by Jordan Cole, sucks on Twitter, is, this is funny, LOL Cool J. And it's comedies that have LOL Cool J in them. By my count, there's about two. Because rollerball is not a comedy.
Starting point is 00:41:46 Would you like, I'm going to give you a choice of year on this one. Alright. Would you like 1991 or 1996? 1996. Okay. People are clapping. No reason to clap right there.
Starting point is 00:42:05 Leonard calls this movie a bomb. No. He says it's a misbegotten attempt at screwball comedy. Says the lead character's neurotic. A neurotic lady. I'll even say that this movie has it substitutes stupid slapstick
Starting point is 00:42:30 and misogynist homophobic pot shots for wit and charm sounds awesome don't ask me to say the clues again you guys and then he lists nine names how many names can you get in? Chris Tinkle? I can name it in nine.
Starting point is 00:42:48 Good opening bid. Jesse Pasternak is back! Back to the shack! Thank you. Thank you for being here. Oh, you're welcome. More than happy to be here.
Starting point is 00:43:04 The premise I was going for was that when Ted got here, you'd take a seat. But since you're still here, let's play the game. All right, yeah. This is my evening. I think I'm very happy to help. No, no. You were so helpful because, you know,
Starting point is 00:43:20 he came in immediately. For the record, I insisted that he stay. He was trying to leave and I said, no, no. Of course he was. I said, Doug would want you to stay. I'm glad you ran on the record on that because I do want him to stay now that it's really way past too late.
Starting point is 00:43:40 I forgot I wanted him to go, to be honest with you. So when he was still there, I went, oh yeah, that didn't work out how I planned. But we're having fun, and Jesse's great. Thank you. Might be the only person on this panel that knows the title of this movie. What did you bring for the prize bag? Nothing.
Starting point is 00:43:58 You know you're going to be on the show. I didn't know I was going to be on the show, but I'm going to improvise. So I'm bringing, I have a bookmark that doubles as my ticket into the show and a pack of Kleenex. It's flu season. Oh, there you go. Yeah, go ahead and pass those the other way. If anybody, if everybody could just put a little bit of Ebola on something and then donate it. I saw you put that in my bag.
Starting point is 00:44:30 Yeah, it's not your bag anymore. You don't get everything back if you win tonight. But my money's on you the way you're playing. You're killing it. What am I looking for? Oh, plugs? What kind of gigs you got coming up going back to school
Starting point is 00:44:49 yeah going back to school I write movie reviews for the IU Student Cinema Guild so if you Google IU Student Cinema Guild you can read my work there
Starting point is 00:44:58 go check if you're in Bloomington go to the IU Cinema amazing place really great movie theater and what's your twitter handle oh I don't have a twitter okay you're 18 years old get a twitter in Bloomington go to the IU Cinema. Amazing place. Really great movie theater. What's your Twitter handle?
Starting point is 00:45:08 Oh, I don't have a Twitter. Okay, you're 18 years old. Get a Twitter. I have a Facebook. That's enough. Or do you just, is Tinder enough for you? That's all you need? I have a Facebook. That's it. Okay, Facebook's cool. Yeah, and watch the Meredith Vieira show. My brother is currently writing for it. It's really good. Jesus.
Starting point is 00:45:24 You're welcome. He wrote, we'll be right back, and I'm so sorry for you and your cancer. Oh, can I say my name tag now? Please. Thank you. So I am playing for Dorothy,
Starting point is 00:45:40 and her name tag is, thank you, eight crazy Dorothys, which I picked for my Jewish heritage. It's her. It's her in a bunch of different funny poses. One with a boa, one with a fake mustache
Starting point is 00:45:51 and a Steve Zissou hat. And the tagline says, she's rude, she's crude, she's animated. Woo! There you go. She's at least two out of three just then. Yeah. If she yelled fuck, she would have gotten a hat trick.
Starting point is 00:46:08 Yeah. I don't know if this is a pitch for a movie, but I liked it. Thank you. Nice. Yeah. And I guess we talked to you last night about movies, so we can just jump right in. Thank you. You're welcome.
Starting point is 00:46:25 The world's politest boy. He's not even British. Was he around in 1996? Were you around? A couple of months old. Oh, nice. So you probably reviewed this
Starting point is 00:46:40 in the maternity ward. Ah! My little PC. So, what happened? Chris took all the names? Yeah, he took nine. What do you think? I want to challenge him on it,
Starting point is 00:46:55 but I feel like I might know it, so I'm going to say eight. You know, conservative. I like the way you play. Let's hear it for super nice guy and first-time guest, Ted Alexandro, everybody. Let's get Ted a microphone. And does all of this that's happening so far make any sense to you at all? To me? Yeah. You mean tonight or life? No. Please sum up life for us To this point No you know I did notice one thing though
Starting point is 00:47:26 The Probably the longest showbiz veteran Was wise enough to sit Right next to you And get it wrong immediately So that's something for all of us to note I could have started with Seth Exactly
Starting point is 00:47:44 I just It's quite random My apologies But Accepted I could have started with Seth. Exactly. It's quite random. My apologies. Accepted. I also, you know, I just in my head thought John would play smarter. I don't think you were alone in there. He's been running around playing that smart card everywhere he goes. Why did he leave it home tonight? Ted, very do you,
Starting point is 00:48:05 very funny comic, of course, and got stuff coming up, plugs, things to plug. Thanks, yeah. Well, I have a web series called Teacher's Lounge
Starting point is 00:48:14 that I'm very proud of. I play the music teacher. My buddy Hollis James plays the janitor, and then every comedian, every episode has a comedian like Jim Gaffigan
Starting point is 00:48:24 plays the nutritionist. Dave Attell is the school photographer. Louis Black is the principal. Judy Gold is the gym teacher and on and on. So you can see those on YouTube. Just look up Teacher's Lounge and all that stuff. And Charles Manson's in charge of hiring at this school? That's right.
Starting point is 00:48:42 That's right. Everyone is like a perfectly horrible person for whatever they're teaching. I love it. That's right. Everyone is like a perfectly horrible person for whatever they're teaching. I love it. That's awesome. How many is there so far? There's 10 of them so far. And we're currently...
Starting point is 00:48:51 Gearing up for a new season. Yeah, we're pitching for hopefully television, but if not, season two on the web. We'll see. Awesome. And people can see you doing stand-up live around town and stuff? Yeah, if you look at tedalexander.com,
Starting point is 00:49:03 I post my dates there. And who are you playing for? I am playing for a gentleman up... Well, I think it was a gentleman. Jurassic Patty. At least it was a guy who handed me the jersey. Maybe it was his girlfriend, Patty? Okay, there you go.
Starting point is 00:49:23 Okay, yeah. Wow, what an interesting way to murder your girlfriend. No one will suspect me. It's your first time on the show. I always ask the guests on the show what movie they've seen lately and what they thought of it. Have you seen something recently? Yeah, this is going to probably not be a surprise,
Starting point is 00:49:44 but I just saw Citizen Four by Laura Poitras, the director of a great documentary about Edward Snowden and the NSA and all the surveillance states. So check out Citizen Four. It really catches you up on the whole story and tells you things you didn't even know about it? Yeah, it's really just... Journalist Glenn Greenwald is in the hotel room with Edward Snowden while the whole thing is first breaking.
Starting point is 00:50:09 So it's really like fly on the wall, like as the shit is all happening. It's really, it was fascinating. Sounds cool. Yeah. I got to see that. I think that covers everything. Oh, what'd you bring for the prize bag? Oh, I have a CD and a DVD called As Much As You Want. It's my first CD and DVD, which you can also get on tedalexandro.com.
Starting point is 00:50:35 You can pay what you want for both that and my new special. I did it. tedalexandro.com. How low can you go on? How low can you go on and pay what you want? Like a penny? Actually, the lowest is 99 cents.
Starting point is 00:50:49 Because that's the service that we use. Credit card and all that. Yeah, that kind of thing. Okay. Yeah. So get that for 99 cents, you guys.
Starting point is 00:50:57 You will not be the first. I love it, though. I think it's a great way to do it because, you know, everybody gets to hear it. Everybody's broke. Yeah. I keep the, I try it's a great way to do it because you know everybody gets to hear it everybody's broke yeah I keep the
Starting point is 00:51:08 I try to keep two good prices down here for these shows and it seems to work out alright right cost a couple extra bucks to get in tonight
Starting point is 00:51:17 but I'll be back down to $19 the next show I do here in town that's with the service charges and shit so anyway
Starting point is 00:51:23 Ted yes the bidding comes to you now it's Jesse said eight names show I do here in town. That's with the service charges and shit. So anyway, Ted. Yes. The bidding comes to you now. It's, Jesse said eight names, and he thinks he can get this movie. Reading from the bottom of the cast list going up. So, can you bid lower, or do you want to
Starting point is 00:51:35 just challenge him? Keeping in mind that you do not want to hear that canon. I'll go with four names. Oh, boy. I didn't even present that as an option. This guy picks up, he's either picked it up really fast or he's dumb.
Starting point is 00:51:53 And that brings us around to the front row, ladies and gentlemen. Dan Schechter is here. Director formerly mentioned because Jesse and I got the good fortune to see his movie here. Director, formerly mentioned, because Jesse and I got the good fortune to see
Starting point is 00:52:07 a movie on the big screen, Life of Crime, which is an Elmore Leonard adaptation. Devin Decker in the front row heartily recommends it. Everybody that hasn't seen it yet, by all means do so. It's really good. Thanks. What do you got coming up?
Starting point is 00:52:23 Are you working on another movie? What's going on? Yeah, I might make something next year if I get lucky. I'm writing some new stuff. Thanks, man. It's kind of front row. It's really enthusiastic. He's excited.
Starting point is 00:52:33 He wants to see your next movie. That's very kind. It's really good. What was the name of your first movie? It's called Supporting Characters. It's on the Netflix. Yeah, I still got to watch that. Can you remind me?
Starting point is 00:52:42 Sure. I'll tell you, don't watch my movie, you asshole. I just want to mention it's really funny. gotta watch that. Can you remind me? Sure. I'll watch my movie, you asshole. I just wanted to mention it's really funny. I saw it. There you go. Jesse seen it. Yeah, very good. I think I'm about to lose, so this is pretty nice. Everybody's being so sweet to me.
Starting point is 00:52:58 What do you got for the old prize bag? I brought a copy of my movie, Life of Crime on Blu-ray for everybody to enjoy. And then I got a, I don't want to come with nothing else, so I brought a copy of my movie, Life of Crime, on Blu-ray for everybody to enjoy. And then I got a... I don't want to come with nothing else, so I got a Millennium Falcon Lego set at Star Wars that I got at Dwayne Reed.
Starting point is 00:53:14 And you... I think you mentioned to me before the show tonight that you were pleased with the Star Wars trailer? Yeah, I was. I watched it. I bet a bunch of people here probably watched it multiple times. I'm certainly one of them. I love that shit. Yeah, I watched it a bunch of times. I'm excited about it, I was. I watched it. I bet a bunch of people here probably watched it multiple times. I'm certainly one of them. I love that shit. Yeah, I watched it a bunch of times. I'm excited about it. I was like,
Starting point is 00:53:29 Black Storm Trooper, click. You didn't watch the rest of it? I'm such a racist redneck, I can't even spit those words out. Black Storm Trooper, fuck the dirt. That movie, that freaks me out, that moment,
Starting point is 00:53:46 just because the first time I saw Star Wars, the first moment where they knock out some stormtroopers and put on their outfits, I was like, oh, I thought that was their skin.
Starting point is 00:53:56 I thought, I thought that's what stormtroopers look like. I didn't know that they were just regular guys in those uniforms and helmets. So I was like really weirded out by it. And I got over it the next 76 times I saw it.
Starting point is 00:54:10 But I'll never forget that. So seeing the guy right away, like J.J. Abrams was like, let's get a guy in a stormtrooper outfit with his head off. So that guy's going to be like a traitor against the stormtroopers, or he's undercover amongst the stormtroopers, is my guess. Well, not to get nerdy about it, but he also could be somebody who beat someone up and took their outfit as well, like in the original game. Sure, sure.
Starting point is 00:54:28 So who knows? Yeah, yeah, he could do the same thing, but I hope it's something different. Me too. I hope there isn't a trash compactor out there in the desert. I hope Salacious Chrome doesn't drop in on his shoulder and ride around on him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Are you ready to play?
Starting point is 00:54:47 I think so. I mean, I don't think I have any idea what this is, but he bid four, which shows a lot of confidence. Is this still the LL Cool J movie?
Starting point is 00:54:55 Yeah, right. Yeah. As it was called in the trades. All right. The LL Cool J movie. I have no idea what it is, so I'm going to tell him to name that movie.
Starting point is 00:55:06 Best of luck, sir. Apologies to Ted Alexandro. I think this is a tough one. Lay it on me. Oh, but you confidently said four names, so... Your four names are Billy D. Williams. Okay. That's three of the four names.
Starting point is 00:55:34 J.K. I can't just say J.K. It's embarrassing, but I can sing it. Aida Turturro. Am I pronouncing it right? Aida from Sopranos I pronouncing it right? Aida? From Sopranos? Sorry, no more clues.
Starting point is 00:55:51 Foxy Brown? And this is kind of a bad turn of events. In that slot, the fourth name is LL Cool J. So how was he going to guess nine if LL is the fourth? Like who?
Starting point is 00:56:10 That's all you get. Start naming the crew? That's it. But you're from the bottom, right? Yeah. So that means LL Cool J was not a top-billed person in this. Gotcha. Yeah, so you're...
Starting point is 00:56:24 All right. That's why I apologize to you. No, no apologies. Because this is about to happen. All is fair in love. Gotcha. Yeah, so you're... All right. That's why I apologize to you. No, no apologies. Because this is about to happen. All is fair in love and war. You think you got it? We said 96, right? 98.
Starting point is 00:56:35 Wait. I said 96? Yeah, 96. I think you... I think you owe me another apology. No, I don't owe you anything. I'm pretty sure this is incorrect.
Starting point is 00:56:53 The ear difference is not going to matter. Has never mattered at all. I'm going to... I know it's wrong, but I'm going to say... Crush Groove. It's a super fun guess. But unfortunately, this movie was a dreadful Jada Pinkett Smith vehicle. Does anybody know what it's called?
Starting point is 00:57:23 It's redundant. It's got a guy yelling at you Woo! It's called Woo! That's how he bought his ticket When he went to see it Like one for Woo! But yeah unfortunately it's a movie called Woo Thank you Ted Alexandro
Starting point is 00:57:38 For playing Go to tedalexandro.com I'd love to have you back on another time and it'll all make more sense and I'll learn the difference between a 6 and an 8 what year was that movie again? 98 what year was that movie again 98
Starting point is 00:58:05 98 yeah what was the other year oh 91 crazy alright I'm gonna save that one for another time cause that's a funny title for a category lol cool lol cool j
Starting point is 00:58:21 lolol cool j who's up next oh we're at Ben Bailey LOL. LOL, Cool J. LOL, LOL, Cool J. Who's up next? Oh, we're at Ben Bailey, everybody. Congrats to Dan Schechter for keeping it going. What? What did you say? Huh? I didn't hear what you said. I'm sorry. Oh, yeah, I talk under the clapping because that's when I speak shit of you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:44 And the home listeners get to hear it, but nobody else does. That's why I'm asking you to repeat it. No, I was just saying congrats to Dan, the guy on your left there. Ben would be a good character in an Elmore Leonard movie. Are you going to adapt another Elmore Leonard, or are you moving off of that? Moving off. Okay. Okay.
Starting point is 00:59:06 There's Billy Joel in that shit? Moving off. I'm moving off. Ben Bailey. Did we applaud for Ben Bailey? Yes, we did. Yes, they did. They already did.
Starting point is 00:59:20 And then I talked shit under him under the applause. Thank you again. Let's do it again. With your generous applause. Yeah. This is where I talk over you talking shit under them under the applause. Thank you again for your generous applause. This is where I talk over you talking shit about me while they clap. You're playing for somebody who made a nice replica of the autopilot from the movie Airplane. Yeah, very realistic. And what's the name on there?
Starting point is 00:59:37 Sarah. Sarahplane. Yeah, and I got a big laugh earlier when you propped it up on the chair. Yeah, I mean, it's pretty fucking good, right? It's a very nice replica of that, except it's flat instead of blow up. Well, I haven't blown it up yet. Oh. Blow it up, Ben. I'm about to.
Starting point is 00:59:54 Blow it up, Ben. That's what I was born to do. All right. What's the name on there? You just turned that into a crisscross reference? Blow it up? That's what I was born to do. Okay.
Starting point is 01:00:09 What'd you bring for the bag, buddy? I love it, dude. You're so all over it. It's fucking great. What'd you bring for the bag? I need to get more stone. Who's all over the place right now? Before I come and do these things, I just smoked my normal amount. I'm going to smoke more next time I do one of these fucking shows with you.
Starting point is 01:00:25 So I can follow along. Hashtag bring back cash cab. Fucking let's start up a hash cab in Amsterdam. Where you drive people from different coffee shops. Dude, believe it or not. Let's sell it. You and me. That's how I see a deal in this town. Out in LA it's a signature or a handshake.
Starting point is 01:00:50 In New York, it's done deal. Ben, have you been to the movies lately? I've seen a couple of films of late. And what'd you bring for the prize, Ben? I brought a list of the films that I've seen lately. Drop it in.
Starting point is 01:01:09 We'll move along. Would you like to see it, you son of a bitch? Drop it in there, Billy Joel. I'll do that and then I'm moving over. Here's the movies
Starting point is 01:01:20 I saw. Oh, you really have a list? John Favreau films. Oh my God. Which I thought was pretty fucking awesome. And then I saw something that someone mentioned when I did a list? Jon Favreau film, Chef. Which I thought was pretty fucking awesome. And then I saw something that someone mentioned when I did Doug Loves Movies in LA
Starting point is 01:01:29 like a month ago, if you remember. Too Many Cooks? What'd they say? Too Many Cooks? Somebody mentioned Too Many Cooks and I googled it and watched it and nothing will ever be the same again. It's like a little short from Adult Swim that is like, fuck, man, it's crazy. It is some crazy shit.
Starting point is 01:01:51 Yeah, I've seen people write on Twitter, fuck too many cooks. Yeah, yeah. It sounds like it might be upsetting to me to watch it. It could be traumatic. Yeah, I'm not going to watch it. Everything feels a little weird after. But check it out. I'm serious.
Starting point is 01:02:05 You're like, oh, I see what they're... No, what the fuck? It'll change you, not in a good way. Check it out. Check it out. It's worth a watch. Sorry, my older brother showed that to me. I would attest to that. You can feel your brain hurting and changing.
Starting point is 01:02:19 Just to keep it in mind. Yeah, you can. That's a warning from somebody who knows. Maybe your brain is just still... Be sure to watch it in mind. Yeah, you can. You can feel your brain hurting. That's a warning from somebody who knows. Maybe your brain is just still. Be sure to watch that, everybody. Hey, speaking of addictions and brains and stuff, did you bring that crack that I asked for? Yes, I did.
Starting point is 01:02:36 Oh, good. You brought some crack for the prize bag. For the prize bag, I bought pistachio crack, which I believe is pistachios. Is that dangerous? Will you get hooked on it? I don't think it's actually pistachio-fl which I believe is pistachios. Is that like dangerous? Will you get hooked on it? I don't think it's actually pistachio-flavored crack, but it might be. Then what else did you bring?
Starting point is 01:02:52 Judging by where I got it. Some of your work? No, I brought the complete first season of Wahlburgers. You guys want to do some lines? For your Emmy consideration, everybody. So, according to what it says at the beginning of these screeners,
Starting point is 01:03:14 even if I give this away as a prize, I'm still responsible for what happens to it. Yeah, so don't go sharing it with everybody. Don't fucking give it to everybody. Yeah, just keep it to yourself and cherish it.
Starting point is 01:03:22 Don't give it to North Korea. Keep it under lock and key or whatever you got. Stash your crack in the Wahlburgers, baby. And do we ask you about your plugs? About the clothes? By we, I mean me. About my clothes? Yeah, what's going on with your clothes tonight?
Starting point is 01:03:34 Who are you wearing? It's the same shit I wear all the time, man. Your plugs, what do you got coming up? I have a be at Parlor Live in Bellevue, Washington this weekend. She's a fun club. I think that's all I have on the books right now, Doug. Oh. I'll be on.
Starting point is 01:03:54 Sorry about all the cash crab, cash crab. No, it's not because I don't have any dates. It's because I don't fucking remember them. You win with me. What? It's not because I don't have any other dates. I just don't fucking fucking remember them. You win with me. What? It's not because I don't have any other dates. I just don't fucking remember when they are or where they are. All right, one hit, Willie.
Starting point is 01:04:10 I'm real Ben Bailey on Twitter and Facebook. That was a great segment we just had together. Yeah, yeah. Let's play. All right, let's do it. Your category, celebrating a birthday today, great, great friend of the show, co-inventor of the Leonard Moulton game,
Starting point is 01:04:31 Sarah Silverman. Come on out, Sarah. Just kidding. The films of Sarah Silverman. Happy birthday, Sarah. Oh, boy. This particular one is from 2005 or another year that I'll say
Starting point is 01:04:49 later. Just covering my bases. Two and a half stars and he says about this
Starting point is 01:05:03 movie that makes you, forces the audience to think. He also calls it often hilarious, but like I said, only two and a half stars from Leonard. And he names a mere five names. That gives some people a clue, I imagine.
Starting point is 01:05:21 But how many names do you think you can get in, Ben Bailey? Oh, a lot more names than that. Bonnie's got it, so she's going to take off. Okay, that's fine. Okay, she knows it if it comes to her, so that's really good for Rob to know.
Starting point is 01:05:37 Pretty good for Doogie to know as well. Bonnie always has to leave if someone mentions Sarah. I don't know what that is. Just kidding, buddy. Fuck. All right, how many? All, as many as possible.
Starting point is 01:05:52 Five names. You'll take all five. I'll need all five. All right. Let's go to Rob Cantrell is here, waiting patiently all this time. Thank you for having me, Doug. We didn't even hear a peep out of you, man.
Starting point is 01:06:04 Yeah, yeah. I didn't have a microphone. You just get high and just enjoy everything. Yeah, it's a good show. I'm getting really into it. It's fun. This is the best seat in the house right here. Yeah, you're right in the middle of everything.
Starting point is 01:06:14 On stage, talking to you. It's like come to life. I love it. What'd you bring for the prize bag? I think it's pretty awesome. Yeah, yeah. Actually, I have my new CD, my new hip-hop CD. Seven Smokin' Tracks.
Starting point is 01:06:30 It's been new every time you've been on the show for the last year or so. Yeah. It's new. It's still the newest one. You know, everybody's value of time is different, you know, and so some people, it's new. To me, it's always new, and I have it free for you. new to me it's always new and uh and i have it free for you and uh and i also brought a box of green tea it's a it's 50 tea bags of just straight green tea and it's like the real shit man wait are you what are you winking at us what's going on? I'm telling you. This sounds like a deal on the corner where nobody wants to say the actual words for it. Go ahead and pass that stuff down here
Starting point is 01:07:11 to Doogie and Seth will get it over here to me. And what do you got to plug, Rob? Besides, obviously, get the, you know, Get Dreams Never Die, the album. And I do do music videos. You have videos? You have a video called Helicopter. And it's all about helicopters.
Starting point is 01:07:30 And it's a hip-hop track about helicopters. So check that out. It's on YouTube. And then I'm also doing some stand-up dates. I'm in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, December 19th at ArtQuest. And then I'll be in D.C. at the end of January. I think the Showroom Palace. So those are my dates.
Starting point is 01:07:48 Nice. What's your latest movie experience? Birdman. Yeah? Birdman. Sounds like you liked it. I loved it. I loved it.
Starting point is 01:08:00 I just think it needs more bass. It's just a funky drummer. It's just that drummer, man. Did you see Whiplash? I haven't seen Whiplash. That's got a lot of drumming in it, too. Drumming's hot right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:08:15 All right, cool. You ready to play? I'm ready to play. Ben's taking all five names of this movie that has birthday girl Sarah Silverman in it. How many names do you think you can get it in? Ben's taking all five names of this movie that has birthday girl Sarah Silverman in it. How many names do you think you can get it in? Four names?
Starting point is 01:08:34 I'm sticking with 2005, by the way. Oh, 2005. I thought I had... You're saying four? I'll say four. He says four, Bonnie, who strutted off earlier after announcing that she knew it. But let's talk to you for a second first. Bonnie McFarlane, first time guest.
Starting point is 01:08:47 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for having me. I hope each and every one of you gets a nice restroom break during the show. I think it works out great for you. I went fast and I did not wash my hands. Rob's even happier now.
Starting point is 01:09:03 Thank you. Bonnie is, of course, a co-host with her hubby of a podcast and radio show called I Hate My Wife. My Wife Hates Me. What happened? I love being on your show. Doug kind of likes
Starting point is 01:09:19 movies. I said it right. My Wife Hates My wife hates me. My wife hates me. It's very funny. I've listened to it. I enjoy it. And just listening the other day reminded me that I should have you on one of my shows sometime. And there you are going to the bathroom. Sorry, I didn't know what to do. Yeah, no, that's exactly what you need to do. Yeah. And you're back. I am.
Starting point is 01:09:48 Anything else to plug besides the shows? Well, I picked this because it looks, I just saw the movie Banksy in New York. Oh, okay. And I hesitate to talk about documentaries because when Ted talked about his documentary, it was so boring. I was like, oh, should I go a different direction boring I've never sat through an entire Ted talk so no I didn't pick it but it says super high Chris on it and supersize super super sorry I just think about my own version. Great movie. Also a great movie.
Starting point is 01:10:25 Oh, thank you. But I didn't pick it because my vagina's tiny. I think you picked it because... I think people thought that I was picking it because it was like, oh, she's got a big vagina. It's funny. But no, it's not. It's small, but my asshole is huge.
Starting point is 01:10:37 But my vagina is... Super-sized vagina. Mm-hmm. All right, so you're playing for Chris. Oh, so I did make a documentary. That's why I was doing the whole theme. It's called... If you've got a bush,
Starting point is 01:10:51 you do not know how to be humorous. Yes, thank you. Women are not funny. Women are funny, available on iTunes. You got the most aggressive titles. Yeah, Hate and Not. It's Cunty McFarlane. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:11:10 But then, yeah, that's the thing is you say stuff like that with such a sunny disposition that everybody loves it. What did you bring for the prize bag? I didn't know that we were supposed to like... Did I remind you about that? No, does this mean we're not getting paid? Did you listen to the show? I normally when when I come to shows, I get paid.
Starting point is 01:11:27 I don't leave something behind. So this is like a weird situation for me. It's kind of a crazy, topsy-turvy thing I've created. Yes, yes. Where people bring their latest CD, and then I mention it, and then a bunch of people go out and buy them. Well, I... I have a copy of Ride Along at Home unopened.
Starting point is 01:11:46 I could send it to someone. Oh, okay. So Bonnie's going to get the mailing address of our winner tonight. So be sure to stick around. I'm on Twitter. I'm a little older, so I'm allowed. My mom said it was okay. At Bonnie McFarlane.
Starting point is 01:12:07 So that's that. Okay, let's play. All right. And other than Women Aren't Funny, have you seen any movies lately? Oh, I already mentioned that I saw Banksy in New York.
Starting point is 01:12:18 Oh, yeah, because you... I don't go out to movies because I have a daughter who at the beginning of the podcast was seven Is this podcast like Interstellar when you go home they're going to be your age?
Starting point is 01:12:36 I don't know Are you in the black hole of podcasts? So our friend Rob Cantrell has bid four out of five podcast. So, our friend, Rob Cantrell, has bid four out of five names, and Bonnie thinks she knows the name of the movie.
Starting point is 01:12:51 So, how many names can you get it in, Bonnie? So, do I just say the name of the movie if I know the name of the movie? No, you can bid less. Or, if you know... Well, how do I make them wrong? You can bid zero. That's what I prefer to do. You can hope that... More than I want to be right, I want them to be wrong. You could say name it to Rob, and if I give him the names
Starting point is 01:13:08 he doesn't know it. I think he's going to name it. He's going to name it. Look at him. Nobody's named anything all night, I don't think. But the other way you could do is you could kick the can down the road, say three names, and pass it over to Doogie, or you can... So what happens then if I say three names
Starting point is 01:13:23 he does it, then he names it? Do we all leave then? He could challenge you. She listened to the podcast to prepare for this you guys. She told that to me proudly before the show. He, if he asks you to name it you'll hear the
Starting point is 01:13:39 whatever number of names you bid and then you have to name it. And if you can't then you're out. But if you ask Rob to name it, it puts it on him. Kick the can. I'm just saying that if I were playing, it would be real easy to stay on the panel like our friend Greg Wisniewski because...
Starting point is 01:13:59 Alright, I'll let him name... What do I say in three? I say in three? Sure. Okay, and then you go ahead and say in two, and then you leave. That's exactly how that works, Bonnie. Thank you. We sat here through all of this just to leave before we ever actually did. I know, right? It's crazy.
Starting point is 01:14:19 Hello. Doogie Horner, everybody! Thank you Doug It's great to be here Doogie's my newish friend That I met in Philadelphia And now he's in New York Doing stand-up comedy
Starting point is 01:14:33 And everybody seems to like him All the other guests tonight Are happy to see him Seth's not wild about me And he also participated in the I did a movie interruption Of Revenge of the Nerds In Philadelphia And he was one of the inter I did a movie interruption of Avenger the Nerds in Philadelphia, and he was one of the interrupters.
Starting point is 01:14:48 It was so much fun. And it was hilarious, and it was a good time. Yeah, have you been to the movies lately? I did a 24-hour horror movie marathon in Philly. I do it every year. Can you name them all? Like, really fast? The Keep.
Starting point is 01:15:03 Okay, so no. name them all? Like really fast? The Keep. Okay, so no. Horrible Godzilla movie. Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3. Kingdom of the Spiders. Blank Magic. The Gate 2,
Starting point is 01:15:14 which was phenomenal. It's funny, like, you know, in The Gate, they open up this gate to another world and hundreds of demons come out. The second movie, a little more low budget, one demon. Much more character-driven, you know? You really get to know the people.
Starting point is 01:15:30 One is scarier than a lot sometimes. One person can do some terrible things. He's in a cage the whole time, too, so they can have a wire underneath it. But it's actually better than the first one. Oh, okay. Probably a pretty low bar on that. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:15:45 They just step over it. What's in the prize bag for us from you today? Oh, so I brought, I feel bad everybody, we all brought our own things, but I brought a Everything Explained Through Flowcharts, a book I wrote. That's great. Everything Explained Through Flowcharts,
Starting point is 01:16:03 and it really has a bunch of flowcharts. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's awesome. No, it's all nude photos of Will Smith. Or nude photos of the progressive insurance lady. Oh, I wish. I wish. And you got any dates coming up we should know about?
Starting point is 01:16:25 Yeah, I'm going to be in Philly at Underground Arts this Wednesday. I'm going to be in Portland at Helium this weekend. And then I'm going to be at Go Bananas January 9th through the 11th. That's in Cincinnati, Ohio. Yeah, Cincinnati. Cincinnati. Okay, and I think that's all the questions I need to ask you. Do you need to know who I'm playing for?
Starting point is 01:16:48 Yes, Ben. I'm sorry to interrupt. Can I plug something else? Is it cash cab? I just remembered another day. Is it hashtag bring back cash cab? It's a cash Uber. New idea.
Starting point is 01:17:05 It's totally different. It's totally different. It's totally different. So, yes. Or you could slap a mustache on your own car and just call yourself a cash lift. It's totally different than cash Uber, my previous show. It is, because I put a mustache on it,
Starting point is 01:17:20 and anybody can do it. All right, so thanks. What? How many names do you need? I kind of like to hear what Ben has to plug. I hope he wants to plug a Sarasota microphone. He's still got a microphone. I bet you he'll get his plug in sometime. I'll sneak it in at a better time. I'm sorry I interrupted.
Starting point is 01:17:47 So she chose three. Uh-huh. You can go 2-1-0, negative one. Or I can say, name it! Yeah, you could. But then if she knows it... Then you wouldn't be sitting next to the lovely Bonnie McFarlane any longer. Maybe. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:18:04 Oh, she seemed... One of you is going to have to leave, yeah. Oh, man. I don't want this relationship to end. Me and this stranger on a stage sitting on folding chairs quietly next to each other. I want this to last forever. And it just might. I'll be at the Colonial Theater in Phoenixville, Pennsylvania on January 15th.
Starting point is 01:18:29 And folks, look under your chairs. You all got tickets. I feel conflicted because I'm positive I know it, but I'm afraid then having it, but I don't... I'm afraid then having... I know I know it, but I'm afraid then that having said that, I'll be like...
Starting point is 01:18:49 And they'll be like, get the fuck... So I'm afraid my hubris will bite me in the ass, so I guess I'll say... Chew. It just seems to be what everyone else is doing. I'll play it safe, I guess. How are you going to do that? What's that?
Starting point is 01:19:06 What are you going to do? Well, I know it, but I'm afraid... Which one do you consider playing it safe? I guess I'll say two. He says two names, Seth. Seth Herzog, everybody. Everybody. I thought for sure I'd be the only one left at this point
Starting point is 01:19:29 I'm a little mad everyone is still here I have to be honest with you I always thought it'd be fun if at some point there was like a movie with 13 names and it just went all the way through everybody but that's never happened it always just gets stopped pretty quickly this is a long one, though.
Starting point is 01:19:46 Really? Only five names, and we're down to two. I know. Who are you playing for, first of all? The Red Cross. You're leaning on it. Playing for the Red Cross tonight. I can clearly see some sort of big poster that you're leaning on.
Starting point is 01:20:00 No, this is a poster. It's got a bell on it. Yep. Here, leaning on. This is a poster. It's got a bell on it. Yep. Here, hang on. I don't have any change. Change. It's a poster, a framed poster
Starting point is 01:20:16 from Frank Capra's It's a Devon Derful Life. I just photobombed a picture of you holding it that Devin took. Yes, yes, yes. That almost works. Not at all does that work. And yet you picked it. I picked it because I thought
Starting point is 01:20:31 that he carried this around on the subway. Did you come on the subway? You took a bus here. You took this on the bus and lived to tell the tale. This didn't get stolen. He didn't get beaten. You know he was walking with it above over his head
Starting point is 01:20:46 when it was raining. Yeah, he was walking down the street and people were giving him change. Oh my God. That bell kept ringing with every step.
Starting point is 01:20:53 Oh my Lord. They're like, go get your Santa costume. That bell rung seven times. A bunch of angels have just got their wings. I think that's what it was. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:21:01 Hey, look at me. I'm giving out wings. Yeah. Get me! Do I have to slip you my left for a convincer? Best line of the movie. What do you got to plug, buddy? Oh, Lord.
Starting point is 01:21:15 Where are you playing? I know you didn't have a lot of time to think about the answers to these questions. I was thinking about it. Phoenixville Theatre and Colonial... Columbo? I said it backwards. I did a I was thinking about it. Phoenixville Theater and Colonial. Columbo? I said it backwards.
Starting point is 01:21:32 I did a little video short for IFC that dropped this weekend. It's Comedy Drop, it's called, where you go in to do stand-up at stores, shoe stores and stuff. No one's expecting stand-up. And I did it at a grocery store. It's pretty funny. I follow the people around and do jokes with them while I shop. You can go on IFC and check that out. That's just posted.
Starting point is 01:21:54 What do you got for the bag? I'm a little annoyed, I have to tell you. Really? I also got the first season of Wahlburgers. Fucking Ben Bailey, man. With something this precious, it never hurts to have doubles. Keep them in two different rooms in the house. If you get robbed, maybe one will survive. Maybe one will be the lone survivor.
Starting point is 01:22:32 Mine is the Donnie of the two. I went to the... At the Fallon Show, there's a free bin of the stuff that no one wants, books, DVDs, and that was the best of the worst stuff. Fair enough. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:22:50 But I love that you also brought that. That's hilarious. Give one to a friend or an enemy or whatever. Yeah. Throw one overhand at somebody out in the street. They're literally handing them out to everyone. Damn you! We tend to be really mad at somebody. Throw that at them and then walk away. They'll just be like, why Walt Burgers?
Starting point is 01:23:09 The whole season. Who do they think I am? Okay, Seth. You're in a position. I can see why you took a lot of time with all your answers. I did. Have you been to the movies lately? Last night, I watched The Canyons.
Starting point is 01:23:26 Watch it out. I jerked off to night, I watched The Canyons. Watch it out. I jerked off to the first half of The Canyons. I watched it all the way through, to be honest with you. Second half of The Canyons is all downhill. It's all downhill. Have you seen it? I did. It's interesting.
Starting point is 01:23:40 I understand what he went through, having to try to rein in out of control Lindsay Lohan. And also the lead actor is a porn star. So the results are pretty much what you'd expect. I thought it was like a Cinemax 3 in the morning movie and then I realized
Starting point is 01:23:57 oh Lindsay Lohan's doing like Cinemax movies? And I realized oh it's the Canyons but it's no different than any of those like soft porn. You know. It's the Canyons, but it's no different than any of those, like, soft porn, you know. It's a little different, but I get your meaning. Yeah, you get my point. Yeah. How many names do you think you can get in this movie?
Starting point is 01:24:14 And Doogie said two names. Doogie's going to do it in two names. I'm going to test Doogie, see if he can do it in two. He's going to challenge Doogie? Yes. All right. Sure you want to do that, Seth? Yeah, I'm very positive, because I don't think you can do it
Starting point is 01:24:25 The year Doogie is 2005 Two and a half stars from Leonard I remember it fondly He said about this movie that It's been so long I don't even remember what I said about it You said it was funny at times What else did I say?
Starting point is 01:24:47 Said Sarah Silverman was in it. Oh, it makes you think. It forces the audience to think. I wish I had seen another movie. Very good. You remembered all of the clues. And your two names. Completely fucking useless clues.
Starting point is 01:25:03 Well, I mean, think of movies that Sarah Silverman's been in. And these two people were in it as well. Okay. Steve Agee and Laura Silverman. The title of the film. Please. You've been a great guest, Dougie. Yeah, I got no clue.
Starting point is 01:25:29 Thank you so much for coming. Dougie Horner has to leave us. So soon after we got to know him. Thanks, Dougie. Oh yeah, we didn't ask him who he was playing for, ever? Dougie, who are you playing for? Tell us from the beyond. Oh, it's a Tony Shalhoub.
Starting point is 01:25:54 Meredith. Meredith, played by Tony Shalhoub. All right, so we'll just leave that to me. I'll use the shithead there at the end. Thank you again, Doogie. Doogie will be back. He's a great guest, and we'll see him again sometime. Oh, I should have said that about the earliest people kicked off.
Starting point is 01:26:17 I don't know how to wait until now to feel bad about somebody getting kicked off. Oh, poor Doogie. So we're back around in the lineup. Oh, poor Doogie. So we're back around in the lineup. Oh, nobody really cares. It's called... Yeah, go ahead. Take the mic back. Was it... They were both in her...
Starting point is 01:26:37 Can I guess? Was it... Was it her special? Jesus is Magic? What's the full title? Jesus is Magic? So's the full title? Jesus is Magic? So is my puss? Wow. How did you know that?
Starting point is 01:26:52 Sarah Silverman colon Jesus is Magic. And it does count as a feature film. It's played in theaters and everything. Documentary style, I guess. Werner Herzog. Werner Herzog. Sarah Silverman. Colin. Jesus is magic.
Starting point is 01:27:08 Jesus is magic. All those dancing chickens at the end. What's that? They're all those dancing chickens at the end of the movie. Strozas? Are you thinking about the Muppet movie? No. No. Strozas.
Starting point is 01:27:24 What's that? Strozesque. There's a dancing chicken at the end. I don't know what it is either. You've lost everybody with this, but I love it. I love a smart 18-year-old. Thank you. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:27:38 But I was trying to say before I was rudely interrupted with information everybody wanted to know. Thank you, Bonnie. We're back around in the lineup. I just thank you for doing that. It sounded sarcastic. No, it wasn't sarcastic. That sounded sarcastic. And off mic.
Starting point is 01:27:58 Greg, we're back to you. Hello. Wyshynski, hockey blogger. Yeah, I really... Thinks Goon is the best hockey movie ever made I really thought I was going to be the Star Trek red shirt of this panel but then the Olsen category happens
Starting point is 01:28:11 alright we'll get down to five after each round we switch we go in the opposite order I don't know why I'm telling you that now I've known every movie so far except for that one just now? When you got up and said you knew it
Starting point is 01:28:28 You were just joking? No I did not You didn't? I did not She dedicated that movie to me Greg Let's meet Greg everybody What's your plugs
Starting point is 01:28:45 you get the category that's been on the show for a little bit now called Voight or Wilson and it's movies with John Voight or a volleyball the year is 2000 straight up three and a half stars from Leonard Maltin
Starting point is 01:29:05 for this movie that he says is great movie making. Three and a half stars, by the way. And he also specifically names the screenwriter
Starting point is 01:29:18 for some reason. I don't know what that's about. That doesn't count as a clue. Boy, it's really hard. He says this movie's about a man. He says that the lead actor has a lot of goodwill. With the public, I assume. And he lists seven names.
Starting point is 01:29:53 Takes six, Doug. Greg wants six names. We go down to Carmen Lynch. How many names do you think it'll take you to name it? Or challenge Greg. I'll be at the University of Arkansas in Little Rock in January. I don't know. I'm going to challenge you.
Starting point is 01:30:13 He gets six names? No, yeah, for him. Yeah. I'm going to name six names in this movie. You just made the he should know it voice. I'll make it with the exact words. You should know this. In fact, feel free to say it out loud the second you know it.
Starting point is 01:30:31 Oh, God. I think everyone in this room can get it after one name. Because the seventh name listed by Leonard Maltz in this movie is Wilson. Everyone but Bonnie McFarlane knows the answer. And Ben Bailey
Starting point is 01:30:51 because he was in the shitter. Tell us the name of the movie, Greg. Castaway. That's correct. And we have to say goodbye to Carmen Lynch. Thank you for being here. Happy holidays. Don't forget your phone, yeah.
Starting point is 01:31:19 Thank you. She was nice. Chris Tinkle. What's up buddy you ready buddy yes we're getting down to it it's tense
Starting point is 01:31:29 yeah we've got eight well behaved children left so creepy Hot Deuce is the name of this category Hot Deuce
Starting point is 01:31:43 alright and Hot Deuce is a sequel that Leonard Malkin gave more stars than the original. Ooh. A sequel that Leonard liked more than the original. Have we played this on the show recently? Yeah. Bag it.
Starting point is 01:31:57 Apologies. I know some of you listened to recent episodes to prepare, and normally I don't give a shit about that sort of thing, but this is important. Your category, Chris Tinkle, is Aiden Quintessential. And it's films that feature Aiden Quinn that Leonard Maltin gave three stars or more. Just to help you out a little bit,
Starting point is 01:32:24 I'll let you pick the year between 1985 or 1993. 1993. The audience said 93. You agree. Three stars from Mr. Maltin for this movie
Starting point is 01:32:40 that he calls Sweet Natured. And he says that it's got endearing performances. But if it wasn't for those performances, it would otherwise strain all credibility. That's a nice way of saying three stars. Yeah, I picked out some of the passages where they were not as nice.
Starting point is 01:33:07 And he names ten names. How many names can you get it in? Ten. Says he wants all ten names there. Jesse, what do you think of that? I'm going to say name that movie. Oh, my God, Jesse. Bringing the hammer down.
Starting point is 01:33:25 Goddamn kid., I have nothing else more in my life Alright Okay, again I'm gonna have your mom stop your Facebook account God damn fucking kid I'm getting fucking
Starting point is 01:33:46 Bullied by a kid still in high school College He's in college dude Visiting home from college But You guys have been great tonight Nobody's even tried to yell out an answer Even whisper an answer
Starting point is 01:34:00 Yeah It's very nice of you But this one, you guys are going to know it. So just hold it in. Especially you, pizza box. Are there still any more slices in there? Because I will throw them at you.
Starting point is 01:34:18 Two slices there. Seth, are you going to throw one at somebody or are you going to eat it? I'm going to eat it. Okay. That's probably the more humane thing to do. It's better cold. Is it better cold?
Starting point is 01:34:27 Oh, I hope. I hope it's better cold. The reviews on the... Oh, shit. The reviews on the hot version weren't too good. All right, here's your ten names. Chris Tinkle. Eileen Ryan.
Starting point is 01:34:40 William H. Macy. Joe Griffasi. Dan Hedaya. C.C. H. Pounder Oliver Platt Julianne Moore Aidan Quinn In the three slot Mary Stewart Masterson at number two
Starting point is 01:34:59 Coming in at number one with a bullet Johnny Depp I'm going to say Biddy and June. That is correct. You took a game, old Jesse. It did not pay off. Thank you for being here once again. The 13th guest of Christmas, Jesse Pasternak.
Starting point is 01:35:23 Shaking hands. You did it, Jesse. Oh, that was... Good job, Chris. I was... Thank you. I was worried you wouldn't get it, and most people knew what it was.
Starting point is 01:35:32 If you would have beat me, it would have been a long cab ride home. Oh, really? You would have put him in a cab? All right. We're going over to our friend Dan Schecter now. I never said who I was playing for. I just wanted to say I'm playing for Anthony,
Starting point is 01:35:52 which is based on the movie Ants with Woody Allen. Oh, there you go. He didn't seem too thrilled when I took this from him. He wasn't that into it. Maybe he wanted John Hodgman to take it from him. I wish you the best, sir. All right. Good luck to him. Thanks, bud.
Starting point is 01:36:08 And good luck to you. Your category is... God damn it, timing gets so interesting on this sometimes. Celebrating a birthday today, Woody Allen. The films of Woody Allen. The year, I'm guessing, is 1993. Leonard gives this movie three stars.
Starting point is 01:36:37 He calls it slight but enjoyable. He also says that Woody Allen wrote this one with a collaborator. And it has some very funny set pieces. And he lists ten names. How many names can you get it in, Dan Sector, director of Life of Crime, Doug Diggs? Three names. Oh, Ben Bailey. What are you going to do?
Starting point is 01:37:08 Three? That's what he says, Ben. Wait, I didn't hear the category. The films of Woody Allen. Oh. Films, and there was a year. No fancy pun. What are you doing?
Starting point is 01:37:23 It's not even on you. I know, but I'm getting ready. You're not supposed to say anything. But I don't know what you're... It's quiet time. Ben's in a bit of a pinch. I think it might not get to you, Bonnie. Okay.
Starting point is 01:37:34 I didn't realize I was in a pinch until you said it. You didn't seem anxious to decide what to do. You know, I feel a little bit uncomfortable. He fucking knows it, this guy. You should never play poker. You know it. I was like, what year? You're like, 93.
Starting point is 01:38:02 I'm so glad we're not in a fucking card game right now. Yeah, you know he has a good hand But this is a different game Yeah So what do I have to decide? If I tell him to name it He's going to get three names You're out I'm out
Starting point is 01:38:16 I'm downstairs getting stoned with all the other comics Oh, they've all left No, they're downstairs, dude For real? Yeah Everybody's just hanging out? Yeah What a nice group of people They like you I think they like you, Doug Oh, they've all left. No, they're downstairs, dude. For reals? Yeah. Everybody's just hanging out? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:38:25 What a nice group of people. They like you. I think they like you, Doug. Oh, okay. You know, usually people on these elimination shows, people just leave. They're down there chatting. No, dude, they're hanging out. Okay. They want to see who wins.
Starting point is 01:38:35 I was kind of hoping to have the room to myself when the show's over, because I like to have a good jerk and cry after these. I wish we did more things together. Like smoking weed in a hotel room the night before you had to take your cab driver's test? Yeah, yeah, like that, yeah. That's just an example.
Starting point is 01:38:56 I'm not saying it happened. I was referring to jerking and crying, though, in this particular instance. How could you have not picked it on? All right, Lynn Stallmaster. Oh, you fucker, now you got me. What do you think? I either have to say two or tell them to name it, right?
Starting point is 01:39:10 Or one, or zero, or negative one, or negative two, or negative three. Oh, really? All the way to ten. All the way to negative ten? Then I have to start telling you people the entire cast in the right order from the top.
Starting point is 01:39:25 You're serious? Yeah. I've played this game too many times to not fucking know that shit yet. Alright. You'd be surprised how many times people can play and not know anything still. Woody Allen, 1993.
Starting point is 01:39:40 This guy's got three people in it. I thought the thinking it through part had happened already. We were nearing a decision. Well, that's the thing about stalling. You can't really... If you're effectively stalling, then you're unable to think about what you need to be thinking about because you're so focused on stalling.
Starting point is 01:39:56 No, the effective ones talk and talk and talk while thinking. All of a sudden, you realize... The multitask. The fuck time is still up. Yeah. And you haven't made a choice. So during this part, were you able to think or were you just thinking about what we've been saying?
Starting point is 01:40:10 I'm going to have to think about that. How many? Say something. Say name it or bid lower. Name it. All right. It's been nice having you, Ben Bailey. Dan's three names are
Starting point is 01:40:27 Aida Turturro, Marge Redmond, and Joy Behar. From 1993, the film Dan is called... I gotta narrow it down to two movies. Oh, shit. Ben is still in it shit I didn't know
Starting point is 01:40:50 oh those names slight slight but enjoyable I'm not saying this is what I co-wrote it with somebody else
Starting point is 01:40:59 I'm not saying this is what I think it is so I'm just just thinking out loud I was thinking it could be this is not my guess but it could be it is. So I just want to say, just thinking out loud, I was thinking it could be, this is not my guess, but it could be. What do you, then I may have to react if you name them both. Well, I don't know if I'm hard putting it in.
Starting point is 01:41:11 I was going to say Bullets Over Broadway, but I don't think I want to say that. That's not slight. Oh, man, what if that's the answer now? Tell us what you're going to say. Pick one. Shit, it was either that or Mighty Aphrodite. Pick one of those two. Fuck, I'm sorry. All us what you're going to say. Pick one. Shit. It was either that or Mighty Aphrodite. Pick one of those two.
Starting point is 01:41:27 Fuck. I'm sorry. Alright. I'm going to say I'm going to say Mighty Aphrodite. Sit down, Ben Bailey. It's neither of those movies. It's Manhattan Murder Mystery. Oh, that's such a good movie. No. Alright. Thank you, Dan Schechter. Go see it.
Starting point is 01:41:47 Watch Life and Crime On wherever Whatever you watch movies on It's great And we'll see If you want to hang around backstage We'll say hi after They're not
Starting point is 01:41:56 They're not really down there I'm really It's empty right Yeah Or maybe one or two I'm just fucking with you They are down there I'm not I'm not fucking with you They are down there I'm not fucking with you on purpose
Starting point is 01:42:07 Alright That was fun That was dramatic He's a big Woody Allen fan So that's why I thought Oh shit he really lucked in He really was He had it narrowed down to two.
Starting point is 01:42:29 Joy Behar was only in one Woody Allen movie. Why would you invite her back? I like Joy Behar. It's fun. We're just having fun. Who cares? Who cares? Who cares?
Starting point is 01:42:43 Okay, so we're Good job, Ben We're on to Rob Pantrell Thanks, man We're getting down to it here Yep, I forgot to talk about My name tag, Doug I'm sorry about that Okay, yeah, tell us who you're playing for
Starting point is 01:42:54 Totally Donna Tello Dudes, it's an awesome Oh, it's a teenage Yeah That's exactly what it is, Doug It's a teenage But Yeah. That's exactly what it is, Doug. It's a teenage... But it's a pretty awesome sweater.
Starting point is 01:43:11 It's a sweater? Oh, my goodness. A kid's sweater. A kid's sweater. So, yeah, it's got turtles and kung fu. Send out an Amber Alert, then. It's very creepy to be like... It is a bit creepy. I was drawn to it.
Starting point is 01:43:26 I don't know why. But I think it's kind of rad. All right. Your category is called... Oh, it's another birthday. There's a lot of crazy birthdays on December 1st.
Starting point is 01:43:43 Bette Midler was born on December 1st. She's been in a lot of crazy birthdays on December 1st. Bette Midler was born on December 1st. She's been in a bunch of movies. Yeah. So it's the films of Bette Midler. And this particular one that I chose is from 1988. Oh. Oh!
Starting point is 01:44:00 Look at it! She knows! She's the worst. She acts like she knows every time. You can just act like you know and say you did afterwards. But you're right there next to Rob, so we'll see what happens. Two and a half stars. Where's Ben going now?
Starting point is 01:44:16 He's just cruising up into the balcony. He hates when I know. Oh, he's going to the bar. Oh, what a gentleman. You could have asked for a drink. They would have brought you something. But just go to the bar. That's great. And while you're there, go ahead
Starting point is 01:44:27 and sign some autographs and take some pictures. I'll be here for a while, Ben, if you want to tell me something. Two and a half stars, Rob, for this movie that's got Bette Midler in it from 1988. She co-produced this movie. I didn't know that.
Starting point is 01:44:44 The director of... she co-produced this movie I didn't know that the director the director of the film used a lot of what this Leonard calls his regulars in cameo roles and he also says about this movie that it's okay
Starting point is 01:45:04 okay and he also says about this movie that it's okay. Okay. And he lists nine names. How many can you get in? MC Rob Cantrell. Yep. I'm a big Bette Midler fan. She influenced a lot of my hip-hop out there.
Starting point is 01:45:26 She's one of the original great entertainer. Nothing but kindness and love towards Bette Midler. And I would like to name that movie in eight names. Alright, and we go to Bonnie. On name and seven. Okay, Seth.
Starting point is 01:45:42 I'm excited. I wasn't expecting her to say that. Her excitement level didn't really project that. But yeah, good job, Bonnie. I will six-name that movie. Oh, Seth. Now we go back to Craig. Very dramatic mic pass.
Starting point is 01:46:06 You know that thing on The Price is rate with the cliffhanger? That's what's happening to me right now Five names Fisticle What's up, buddy? I can name it in four names Oh, Ben Bailey He's in another spot Ben Bailey's in another spot. Ben Bailey's in a pickle once again.
Starting point is 01:46:30 He's the pickle man. You're the pickle merchant. How'd you get here? Did you have to cross Delancey. How many fucking names are we at? Two, three, two? Four. Tinkle, Tinkle. So I have to say three.
Starting point is 01:47:00 Give me the movie, 88. Oh, you want the title? The title is... Who's in it? Joy Behar? It's okay. We're not to that point yet. We haven't named anybody.
Starting point is 01:47:14 I mean, we know Bette Midler's in it. We're assuming Joy Behar. Pretty safe bet. She has been in like three films. She was great in... Ada Torturo is probably in this one too, isn't she? Because it's just that kind of fucking day, isn't it?
Starting point is 01:47:35 He's in four days, man. 88. 88? Yeah! Fuck. What are you doing posing? You know it, Cantrell! Do you know it?
Starting point is 01:47:50 Three. I'll go three. Oh, shit. I'd say name that movie, Ben. Oh. Oh, this is gonna... I guess I left you no choice. Apologies to put your hands together. I might not be back by Tuesday, December 9th.
Starting point is 01:48:14 That's a good idea. It's just gonna be over. Your three names. Oh, I get names. I thought I was already out. Like, fuck, I don't know. Oh, no, I get names. All right. I thought I was already out. Like, fuck, I don't know. Oh, no, I get names, too. Once again, people in the audience are going to know this.
Starting point is 01:48:30 Yell it out if you know it. Fucking shit right out and fuck this up for me. The opposite of cash cab. Keep it to yourself. I will get you a fucking ride in the cash cab if you get me out of this shit right now. It's still parked in his garage. He has really intimate disco parties in it.
Starting point is 01:48:56 Or group suicides. My career is still in there somewhere, Doug. I can't let it go yet, man. All right, three names. Hit me. Fuck. Which one do you want me to do? All three.
Starting point is 01:49:18 All right. And Bonnie's going to know this as well. Marcy Leeds. Mayim Bialik, and Grace Johnston are your three names. Oh, fucking Grace Johnston? In this Bette Midler movie. Come on, somebody said...
Starting point is 01:49:41 What the hell? Oh. We've got a sitter. The Blossom fans have spoken. The Rose? That's a great guess, because Bette Midler, of course, was in that. But. You guys know that I'm not gay, right?
Starting point is 01:50:05 But that's incorrect. I'm afraid you're out, Ben Bailey. Oh, hey, what a fuck. Oh, yes. I have nothing to say. It was awesome. Thanks, man. Best of luck, guys.
Starting point is 01:50:15 Thank you, Ben. And here's a movie that every time you hear of it for the rest of your life, you'll be madder at it than you probably were already called Beaches. Whenever you're flipping through the Lifetime channel and you see her driving on a wet road, sobbing, you'll just kick in your
Starting point is 01:50:33 television set. And pass the autopilot down here for me, please. Ben Bailey, everybody! Oh, the shithead's underneath the elaborate thing you've got to peel away here. Oh, Jesus. He's putting me to work on this shit. I didn't know I'd be doing some weather stripping during the show, but there it is. All right. Put it here. What's the matter, but there it is. All right. Put it here.
Starting point is 01:51:06 What's the matter, Bonnie? What happened? Ben Bailey just left us. Yeah? Yeah, you seem happy about that. No, I like him. You smiled weirdly. She wants to know what happened in the back of the...
Starting point is 01:51:18 I don't know why... People write shitheads on the back of their name tags for me to say, if you lose today, I'm going to say that out loud at the end of the show and call that person a shithead or thing or whatever it is they wrote. Where are we? What's going on? We're back to Rob.
Starting point is 01:51:33 We're back to Rob. He was the one who said name it, so would it be me? Oh yeah, Rob's in it. Good job, Bonnie. Greg's taking off again Where are you going Greg? Oh yeah you can't leave a hockey jersey lying around
Starting point is 01:51:50 What if somebody lights it on fire or something Or sits on it Isn't that sacrilege like you can't put it on the floor either Oh shit I am getting nervous though It's officially my whoopee for the rest of the game Oh you're going to hold it like a little Like Michael Keaton's kid in Mr. Mom?
Starting point is 01:52:07 All right, so Bonnie gets to go first, and then we switch the order every round, so it's going to come back at you, Rob, from Bonnie. We haven't been doing that. That's the first time we're doing it. But every round, starting now. This is now the second round.
Starting point is 01:52:25 Early on, when you were carefree and rules didn't matter, I said you didn't think you'd get this far. I said when we got to five players we'll change the order around. Because it's more like the regular show that you've listened to a few episodes of. Supposedly.
Starting point is 01:52:42 Really good. I hate my wife! Movies are okay! Your next category, Bonnie, is a little thing that we call Ethan Hawke Down. And it's films where Ethan Hawke dies.
Starting point is 01:53:00 The year is 2000, or maybe it's 1000. Two stars from Leonard for this movie that he says is based on timeless material. And he also says that the stunt casting in this movie scores some occasional points. And he lists 13 names. Yeah. How many, Bonnie? 13. Fair enough.
Starting point is 01:53:32 Rob Cantrell? I can name it in 12. Okay. I like how you thought about that. Yeah, it was good to stop for a second there and think about it. Now we go to Chris Tinkle. Give him a microphone, one of you guys.
Starting point is 01:53:47 Thank you. No problem. Would you say 12? All right, let's get this going faster. 10. I can name it 10. Try to speed it up, buddy. Greg?
Starting point is 01:54:01 You know, there comes a time in every man's life when he says, Zero names, Doug. Oh. Seth, what are you going to do with that? Wow. Yeah, let's get Seth a microphone so he can talk us through it. Fifteen names.
Starting point is 01:54:24 Okay, let's get the microphone away from Sal. Sal McKinnon. Give it a shot. I think you should do it. Alright, he says name that movie, Greg. Alright. Just say it. Is it Great Expectations? That is incorrect.
Starting point is 01:54:41 Oh, shit. Greg Wyshynski, thank you so much for being here pass me your shithead what was it Great Expectations was 98 that's true look it up but December of 98
Starting point is 01:54:56 November but he kind of I think got hung up on the timeless material or whatever because the film full of came cameos, crazy cameos. Bill Murray was in this and Steve Zahn. And it's called Hamlet. Hamlet. You guys have heard of it? Hamlet?
Starting point is 01:55:23 Anyone? Anyone? And this Kermit, I want them to get their Kermit back, You guys have heard of it? Hamlet? Anyone? Anyone? And this Kermit, I want them to get their Kermit back, but you've got to take Kermit out of this thing to see the shithead. What? Is there multiple shitheads on here? What the hell? Speaking around Bonnie made me do a Dat fan impression. He said you made him do a Dat fan impression. You said you made him do a Dat fan impression.
Starting point is 01:55:49 She didn't make me do it. I was thinking of him while she was around. Oh, Kermit! You lost the batteries. Batteries rolled out of his ass. All right. Listen, you guys, let's leave your friends, okay? It's getting down to it.
Starting point is 01:56:07 No, I'm good. Leave friends. Devin didn't even want me to play for him. He wanted to give it to Sam, the kid. And now look who's gone and look who's here. Right? I'm still here. Exactly my point.
Starting point is 01:56:26 No, you don't have to worship me. If you could think of any other ways to drag this out, I'd appreciate it. We've been going seven hours. We've locked the doors. I'm exhausted. I feel like Jerry Lewis's telethon. You guys are my kids.
Starting point is 01:56:44 And we're going to start again with you Bonnie what's the category Doug and it's coming right back at you Seth I'm totally down the category Bonnie is paper popular category that's films in which
Starting point is 01:57:03 Dwayne Johnson dies. Because he is the rock and paper beats rock. Oh, got it. Possibly the best slow burn category in the history of the eight or nine year history of Douglas movies.
Starting point is 01:57:22 And you get to pick a year, Bonnie, between 2005 and 2007. I will go with him at his peak. 2006. Okay, you got 2005 or 2007? Oh. Not as bad. 2005. Okay. 2005 okay
Starting point is 01:57:47 bomb says Leonard about this movie from 2005 that he calls a British Czech German US production he also calls it brainless and he says there's an alternate the movie's about 100 minutes long but there's an alternate 113 minute
Starting point is 01:58:06 unrated director's cut it's the kind of information he used to give out because it didn't happen all the time but there's always a director's cut that's unrated these days and he says it was inspired by a controversial thing he doesn't use the word thing though he's more direct about what it is
Starting point is 01:58:23 and he lists... 11 names. Name that movie. You get to start the bidding. You wanted Doug to name it. Nice try, though. I'll take all the names. Yes. Good bid.
Starting point is 01:58:43 Very good bid. Seth? 10 names. Yes. Good bid. Very good bid. Seth? Ten names. Also a smart bid. Got some smart players left here. KT? You know what? I'm going to say eight names.
Starting point is 01:58:56 Okay. Took a little jump there. See what Rob Cantrell does with that. Say, name that movie. Oh! All right. I say name that movie Alright you get 8 out of 11 names dude God damn you Rob I gotta pee so bad The only movie I know is pee
Starting point is 01:59:16 It's all that green tea you know I just got so jacked up on that green tea. Doug Jones. Brian Steele. Dexter Fletcher. Al Weaver. Richard Brake. What the fuck?
Starting point is 01:59:41 Raz Addo. Ben Daniels. And Diobia Opere. I'm sorry, Chris. These last three names would really be helpful.
Starting point is 02:00:06 2005? Especially compared to the previous eight names and the year is 2005 and the rock is in it and it's a bomb and it's brainless and he dies and there's a director's cut that's unrated it's based on real events and he dies
Starting point is 02:00:20 what do you got? it's based on a controversial thing according to Leonard. I got two guesses. I don't remember the controversy. I got two guesses. Oh, pick one. Damn it, dude. You can do it.
Starting point is 02:00:36 And by that I mean say something. Southland Tales. Southland Tales? Yes. Incorrect. Fuck. You're out. I knew that would not get old. Can I guess what it was?
Starting point is 02:00:59 Please. Scorpion King? No. All right, fuck. Wow. Chris, the movie's called Doom. Doom. Doom. Scorpion King? No Alright fuck Wow Chris the movie's called Doom Doom
Starting point is 02:01:08 Doom Doom Yeah New Dune Dwayne Johnson was second build In that one Of course as The Rock Wow
Starting point is 02:01:19 Thank you Chris for coming And I guess you're gone already So I don't know why I'm talking to you still Just ran out of here It's kind of sad The three people that know The least about movies for coming and I guess you're gone already so I don't know why I'm talking to you still. Just ran out of here. It's kind of sad. The three people that know the least about movies are left. Whoa, whoa, whoa, that's true.
Starting point is 02:01:35 I'm scouting Doug. Doug's cleaning up the stage. I know. This is a good time to clean up What happens now? Can I take a piss? I need to gather my shithits Alright Well this is weird
Starting point is 02:01:55 Because it starts with Bonnie again Oh my god But then we'll go to Rob This way And Please be something This is getting intense Yeah The category, Bonnie to Rob. This way. And, please be something. This is getting intense.
Starting point is 02:02:05 Yeah. The category, Bonnie, suggested by Derek Seibel or Seibel. I love him. Is, do you want
Starting point is 02:02:15 to do some snowman? Put it up your nose. Oh, it's cocaine movies? And it's movies that have cocaine in them. Okay, okay. This is good for me. That's a lot of movies.
Starting point is 02:02:31 A lot of Christmas movies in that one. Okay. Wow. The year, Bonnie, is 1983. One and a half stars for Leonard. One and a half from Leonard. One and a half stars for Leonard. One and a half from Leonard. One and a half. He says...
Starting point is 02:02:50 Is there anybody famous in it? Mm-hmm. The floor is closed to questions. Okay. He says this film wallows in excess. Is nearly three hours long, and offers no new insights. And he lists nine names. How many names, Bonnie?
Starting point is 02:03:23 Nine names. Good opening bit. We go to the P-Master. Oh, I can name it in five movies. I mean, five... If I had five movies to choose, one of them might be right. I could do it in five multiple-choice answers. Yes, definitely.
Starting point is 02:03:42 I know a lot of cocaine movies, so... I'm kind of confident. I could do it in five names, Doug. But it's 83. 83, I know this one. Oh, okay. I don't know it, but... He's very...
Starting point is 02:03:55 You don't know it, but you know it. But I might. He's thinking with the names. Yeah. Yeah, five. I'll four name it. Oh.
Starting point is 02:04:05 Name it! Bonnie loves to'll four name it. Oh. Name it! Bonnie loves to make people name it. I like her enthusiasm for that. Here's your four names, Seth Herzog, and thank you for coming. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That was premature, like most of those. No, I'm just really grateful that you're here. I asked you at the last minute.
Starting point is 02:04:25 You're very nice to always participate when I need you. You have a show on Tuesday nights here that you always ask me to participate in. Do you want to plug that in real quick? You're always going to the theater. I go to see shows instead. Where is it? Orchard and Stanton called The Slipper Room.
Starting point is 02:04:42 Tuesday nights. Yeah, it's fun. Awesome show. Running for years there. Ten. Whoa. Your four names are? That got weird silence. Because people just want this game to go. Harris Ulin.
Starting point is 02:04:57 Oh, yeah. Paul Sheenar. Yep. F. Murray Abraham. Yep. And Miriam Colon. Yep. Are your four names from this movie from 1983? Yep. F. Murray Abraham. Yep. And Miriam Colon. Yep. Are your four names from this movie from 1983.
Starting point is 02:05:09 Yep. Cocaine, one and a half stars. Scarface. Correct. Bonnie McFarlane, we have to say goodbye. Thank you, Bonnie. That was awesome. Great job.
Starting point is 02:05:33 I ironically recently just saw the Harris-Yulin and F. Murray-Abraham scenes in that movie. That's not even a joke. No shithead? Sorry. Embarrassed. Embarrassed. Embarrassed. You need to leave. I thought of one that I'll say on your behalf.
Starting point is 02:05:50 It's going to go something like this. Oh, wow. We got two dudes left. Got a nice job, fellas. You're still in it, Devin. You're still in it, Devin. You're still in it. This is where things get particularly... Oh, my God.
Starting point is 02:06:10 There's so many name tags still laying around. I will also say that pizza slice was weird. It tasted awful. It looked a little funky. I think the sauce turned or something. It was not... It was like, oh, that's good pizza. It was like, no, this pizza It was like No this is Something
Starting point is 02:06:25 Went horribly awry What's that? It was one of the Dollar slices It was one of the Dollar slices What'd you get? Did you make it at home?
Starting point is 02:06:33 Mike's pizza Mike's pizza Oh yeah They don't use real sauce That's barbecue sauce Yeah That's ketchup It's rat sauce
Starting point is 02:06:41 Does Does Star Lars Have a A shithead? Yeah it's Lars It's Oh. It's rat sauce. Does Star Lars have a shithead? Yeah, it's Lars. It's, oh. You're just, okay. Lars is an asshole, apparently.
Starting point is 02:06:51 Okay. All right, I got it. All right, so for this final round, is there a Pez in that? Holy shit, you just found free Pez. Oh, wow. Seth Herzog eats floor Pez. Out of the neck of a pig.
Starting point is 02:07:05 How long has that Pez been in this piggy? Who knows? What? Since childhood. Mesh? No, she's saying it's medicated. It's fresh. It's meth.
Starting point is 02:07:15 It's little blocks of meth. There's nothing fresh about this Pez. Medical meth. It's old Pez, but I'm keeping it. Fair enough. It's time to play the asparagus pee category.
Starting point is 02:07:34 Bonnie challenged you in the last one, and so Rob gets to go first in this one. We're going to play a little thing. The way asparagus pee works is This fits perfectly. You eat some asparagus pee works is This fits perfectly. You eat some asparagus and pee and it smells funny.
Starting point is 02:07:50 That's how that works. How this category works, suggested by someone named Asparagus Pee on Twitter, is I'm going to read the entire review and then it becomes a negative name game where you guys have to just start the bidding. You're probably both going to know the name of the movie if you don't god help you and you'll you'll bid
Starting point is 02:08:10 so you'll just get right into negative names I mean you could start at zero names if you want to but everyone's gonna know the name of this movie is my feeling so we start at negative five or start a negative I'll tell you how many names after I read the review and then you you have to, if you say negative one, top-billed person, negative two, top two-billed, you have to get it in the order that Leonard lists them. Oh, I have to name the names Leonard listed. Yes.
Starting point is 02:08:35 In the order. In order. Jesus Christ. Okay. It's tricky. You've never seen this category played? You're not on the show with it? Yeah, I've done the show, but I haven't done this part.
Starting point is 02:08:45 I think Rob's been around when we played it once. It's usually a tiebreaker, but I like to finish off the big 12 guest episode. Let me just say one more time, let's hear it for these two for making it all the way. Thank you, Doug. Earned it. Players who know how to pay attention, play the strategy, and hold in their urine. Because you still have to pee, right?
Starting point is 02:09:09 Yeah, I still do. It's all right. I can do it. Leonard gives this movie two and a half stars. It's from the year 2011. It's a USA film, 98 minutes long. Three friends who bemoan their fate having to work for abusive bosses. Live out a fantasy? I don't need to read the rest of this.
Starting point is 02:09:31 Leonard says that it's the unrated version, runs 106 minutes, sporadically funny comedy, has some solid laughs, as well as the kind of raunchiness we've come to expect in the post-Hangover era. He's just blaming everything on Hangover. And Leonard lists a whopping 15 names.
Starting point is 02:09:51 Starting with you, Rob Cantrell. How many zero or negative names? What would you like to bid? Zero. Great opening bid. So now, if you say negative one, you've got to name the top-billed person. Negative two, top two
Starting point is 02:10:05 billed people in the correct order. One, then two. I'm down to three, four. I'll say negative three. He says negative three, Rob. Name that movie, Seth. What's the movie called? Horrible Bosses. Yes, and the top three billed
Starting point is 02:10:22 people in the correct order are... Jason Bateman. I'm not going to say it until you say all three. You can't just narrow it down that way. Jason Sudeikis. Charlie Day. Charlie Day is second build. Rob Cantrell is our winner!
Starting point is 02:10:46 Yay! Yay, yay, yay, yay! Rob Cantrell is our winner Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay
Starting point is 02:10:50 Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay
Starting point is 02:10:50 Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay
Starting point is 02:10:50 Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay
Starting point is 02:10:51 Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay
Starting point is 02:10:51 Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay
Starting point is 02:10:51 Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay
Starting point is 02:10:51 Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay Yay Come get all your shit, Danny Tello. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. There's so much stuff. Where's your bag? Where's your bag? Could you guys help me bag this stuff up? It's a grocery bag. Let's throw all this stuff in this big bag that Greg brought. Okay. Get everything in there, and then we'll give it to her. I feel like Santa.
Starting point is 02:11:18 Oh, Hodgman's thing's really heavy. There's a book. Trey Gallion's CD is called The Moronic. Pistachio Crack, whatever the hell that is. Star Wars. Life of Crime.
Starting point is 02:11:33 And that jersey. And you add all the stuff in this bag. Just throw it in the other bag. Bag in bag. You have done your gift shopping
Starting point is 02:11:41 for the... That creepy sweater worked out. Yeah, thank you. I love that. You don't want to miss his shithead on the back there. Oh, got it.
Starting point is 02:11:54 There you go. All right. Could you hand this back to Devin? Because I'm sure he wants to keep this. Can I get the shithead? Yeah, who doesn't want to keep this? Yeah. I'm kidding.
Starting point is 02:12:02 I love it. It's really... How did you do that that i was at work and board you were working bored just taking stuff and making posters with your name on it that's a good job man thank you seth herzog thank you guys thank you thanks doug and one more time congratulations to now entered into the ongoing tournament of championships, Mr. Rob Cantrell, everybody. All right.
Starting point is 02:12:28 All right. Thank you, Doug. Thank you. So much fun. All right. I got a lot of shitheads to read. Thank you guys so much for coming out and sticking through all of that. Do you think, is it okay if we do this again next year?
Starting point is 02:12:46 I hope you guys have a terrific holiday season. And if you want your name tags back, I'll try to get them towards the front of the stage so you can come and grab them. And as always, the Monday after a four-day weekend is a shithead. I almost said a four-day afternoon, because that's how I like to celebrate. Boats are a shithead. I almost said a four-day afternoon because that's how I like to celebrate. Boats are a shithead. I'm fucking sick of boats. I can't argue with that one. Bob McCullough, the Ferguson prosecutor,
Starting point is 02:13:16 is a shithead. Lars, of course, is a shithead. People who call themselves a Jedi are shitheads David, Kalen and Liam are all shitheads Onisis is a big shithead They really got a lot of shitheads on a couple of post-its I guess they don't need those back Let's see what Devin Decker has to say
Starting point is 02:13:41 Okay, That fits. No one would wonder who wrote this one. Eating ethnic food on the bus is a shithead. Supersized Chris is a shithead. Of course, racists are a shithead. Fucking racists. Ruining my holiday season.
Starting point is 02:14:13 I definitely did not save the best one for last. Enterovirus is a shithead. And finally Unanticipated barfing In movies and TV shows And Dale Decker Is a shithead Now it's time we're done to watch
Starting point is 02:14:43 Another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you cause Doug loves movies.

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