Doug Loves Movies - Jon Dore, Brody Stevens, Mark Forward, and JP Manoux Guest
Episode Date: September 27, 2014Live from Toronto's Just For Laughs Festival, Doug welcomes Jon Dore, Brody Stevens, Mark Forward, and JP Manoux to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Pri...vacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seats
With 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
The firehouse police Hey everybody
My name is Doug
And I love movies
Oh wow My name is Doug and I love movies. This is The Love Movies!
Oh, nice.
Nice touch there on the end.
All right.
We're coming to you from the Queen.
This sounds way too highfalutin
for what's about to happen.
We're coming to you from the Queen Elizabeth Theater.
As part of the Just for Laughs Comedy Festival on Saturday, September 27th.
Say it with me, everybody.
2014 Wolf of Wall Street fight Terminator 2.
Judgement Day of the Dead Man Walking Tall.
The President's Men in Black.
Fisher King.
Ralph Fulton.
Day Afternoon. Delightfully Perfect. Don't Get Ahead of Me. Murder. Fight. Death Wish. Three Amigas. Walking tall, the president's men in black, Fisher King, Ralph Fulton. Day after noon, delight, sleep perfect,
don't get ahead of me, murder,
fight, death, wish, three of me,
ghost worlds, end of watch,
men don't leaving, Las Vegas,
food, large jingle, all the Wayne's
world's fastest Indiana Jones
and the temple of doom's
days of thunderbolt and light,
foot, fist, way of the gun,
crazy.
I can't wait for this year to be over.
What have I done to myself?
Oh, at 420-ish.
Let me see your name tags, Toronto.
I knew they'd be plentiful and large.
You are DB?
He's a DB, too.
He's got IMDB.
Is that a Forrest Gump thing over there?
Who is it?
Jason.
Jason in the Forrest Gump poster?
I don't get it.
Hopefully one of our guests will get it,
and they will pick it.
Oh, there's some lit up back there.
I like when people do that with their flashlights.
I also like how all the name tags got here early.
Are there any way in the back?
Did anybody get here super late and not bring a name tag?
Over there?
Those look like little horns of the
JFL mascot.
What's his name? Victor?
Is that his name?
What is it?
It is? Victor?
It's weird.
Next Saturday, October 4th, I'm doing
a 420 Douglas movies
a comedy on state in Madison Wisconsin
always have a fun time there
great guests at Sioux Falls
I'm coming back to do stand up at the
Orpheum Theater also
highfalutin like this place
on Saturday October 11th
let me ask you guys a quick question
because I'm telling you I have so much
fun whenever I come to Toronto,
because everyone here is super friendly and nice,
likes to have a good time,
and somebody up close has to have a vapor pan on them.
This young lady over here,
could you bring that over to me?
Can I get a quick hit off of that?
Is it one that works right away,
or is it one that's a lot of nonsense? Oh, look
at this thing. Okay.
I think I can make this work.
No go.
Next. next yup
thank you
I'd pick your name tag what's your name tag can't believe you have a vapor pen pick your name tag
what's your name tag
can't believe you have a vapor pen and a name tag
that's really
you're an outstanding person
I've seen that and you tweeted that already
it's the Greg outdoors
or out Doug
the Greg out Doug
and my face is over John Candy's
and his is over Dan Aykroyd's
I'm guessing.
Thank you for that.
I appreciate it.
And that was proof.
Front row.
Front row had a couple of things.
But like, now I'm so fucking high.
As you know...
Wow, Doug took a couple of vapor hits
and totally greened out on us.
Let's get into the prize bag, you guys.
I'm not going to unfurl it, but I brought,
and I also just killed a fly with it backstage,
this is a poster from my friends
at the really fun film festival called Fantastic Fest
in Austin,
Texas. I just came from there,
and that was, they gave everybody
posters, and I got
a Gateway Doug 2, Forced Fun.
I've got a thing called Dirty Laundry
that I participated in. I barely remember
even doing it.
That's
probably my autobiography title.
I barely remember even doing it.
The Doug Benson story.
A Doug Loves Movies t-shirt.
I think this is an XXL,
so that'll be fun to sleep in.
If you're smallish.
Another CD somebody gave me
from a band called The Dead Side.
It's called Infectious. I don't know if it's
any good or not. Give it a listen
if you win and let me know.
And then also give a listen to
one of my double
albums. Did I do more than one
double album? Probably just the one.
My double album
called Smug Life.
Yeah. Oh, wait.
One more thing. And then all the guests
brought something cool and they'll all
bring those things out with them when they come out here.
But this...
I gotta read the tag to remember even what it is.
Oh, it's a shiny
headband.
But then...
But then
the color is mocha.
Shiny mocha.
So wear that to your Starbucks or whatever.
See what happens then.
Let's do it, you guys.
Let's get the guests out here.
What do you say?
I am high and ready to laugh
at the shenanigans.
Please welcome
J.P. Manu, Brody Stevens,
Mark Forward, and John
Dorn! What a game. Were you there?
It was incredible.
Doug, they're referencing my attire.
Yeah, you dressed for the game today
that was played in a stadium that is adjacent to the Queen Elizabeth.
Yeah, BMO Field is the home.
One-stop entertainment area right here in Toronto.
Couldn't have been more convenient for me to come to this show. Yeah, BMO Field is the home. One-stop entertainment area right here in Toronto. Couldn't have been more convenient
for me to come to this show. Yeah.
They were losing 0-2
at the half, and they came back and won it
3-2.
And they had
to win, because this is must-win games
from here on out, if you want to make the playoffs.
And it was thrilling. Well, that's
J.P. Manu, everybody.
J.P.
I'm thrilled to announce that you're the winner
of the first game today, and that, of course,
is the Pete Holmes game.
And you were
the first person to speak
without being spoken to.
Although, one could argue
that the audience member is the winner
of the game. The one that
shouted out and drew you into that conversation.
I have a feeling this is a game I wasn't supposed to win.
There's no prizes.
There's no penalties.
It's just a fun thing to say.
It's fun to remind everybody how awful Pete Holmes is.
I remind people of the awfulness of Pete Holmes at every opportunity.
JP, what did you bring for the prize bag, buddy?
Okay, I brought a bunch of scripts.
JP has acted in many things.
We were both in, I think, the same episode of Yes, Dear
at one point in our illustrious careers.
So I'm on a show right now with Mr. Dave Foley
of Kids and Hall and News Radio fame.
I don't think anybody here has heard of that guy.
Canadian national treasure, Dave Foley.
And the show's called Spun Out.
I got a few scripts of Spun Out.
Wouldn't it be funny if there was a Canadian version
of National Treasure where Dave Foley
was being protected by Nicolas Cage?
Continue.
But just in case
you guys haven't had a chance to check it out
on CTV yet, I did also bring
a script of a
movie that Leonard Maltin
has not bothered to review.
He's a lazy piece
of shit.
Atlas Shrugged
Part 2.
Which stars J.P.
Manu in the role of Conductor.
For reals,
you're in Atlas Shrugged 2?
Part 2, yeah. Despite my
politics. I totally agreed to take
that shitty paycheck.
And
8x10 of
the cast of Phil of the Future,
and very, very collectible 8x10 of the Fruit of the Loom guys.
Your humble Green Grapes.
How long ago did the Fruit of the Loom guys thing stop,
and how did you find out?
Were you watching a commercial and it saw a totally new campaign,
or just guys with big dicks or whatever?
I was the Green Grapes for seven years,
and then I started working up here in Toronto,
and it conflicted just enough to coincide with how little they wanted to pay me
that I said, I'm done.
Oh, so there were some new Grapes?
There were some new Grapes.
For two years after I quit, Richard Horvitz,
who's the voice of, like, Invader
Zim, he
took over the Green Grapes costume, but both
of us had to share the Green Grapes costume
with the Spanish language
cast of Fruit of the Loom.
And they're not
as good about febrezing.
When are you writing the book?
This is good.
Yeah.
Can I use this as the book on tape right now?
This is my audio recording.
It's great.
John Doerr is here, you guys.
Also a return visitor to the program.
I should say quickly that J.P. Manu
was in one of the best episodes no one ever
heard that we did in Toronto
with
Sean Cullen was there and
another guy. Let's not mention his name.
Thank you.
Jerry was so great on that episode
that he's never been on again.
I plan to keep it that way.
it was also a lost episode,
so I kind of feel like people need to hear
what he was like, and then I realized,
no, they don't.
But do you remember that?
I do. Those who were at the Rivoli that night
will never forget it. It was a special night.
Will you ever release it?
No, it got destroyed
in a fire.
It was like when you think you're shooting video and you're actually stopping every time you think you're recording, and then It was like when you think you're shooting video
and you're actually stopping every time you think you're recording
and then you're recording when you think you're stopping.
That's kind of what happened.
They had a power surge and immediately when the show started,
they didn't get any of it.
And then they didn't think, well, why don't we stop the show?
They were like, well, you had already started.
What were we supposed to do?
And I said, you're supposed to record the show.
So that's as far as the argument went,
because, you know, I behave like a Canadian when I'm here.
Yeah.
And you let things go.
Was that the recordist's name?
Was he a French guy, Power Search?
Is that the problem?
I was going to say the same thing.
He didn't speak the language, did he?
It's so weird, though, that right there in his name,
you think that he would really be on the lookout
for a Power Surge.
Really recognize it when it happens.
That's how he got his nickname.
Oh, good old Power Surge.
You didn't know it was sarcasm.
Oh, good old Power Surge will help you do it.
I thought about saying that.
Did you really?
Yeah, I thought, oh, Sergio Garcia,
because the whole Ryder Cup is going on right now.
So it just came to my mind.
But I'm glad you jumped in there.
John Doerr.
Thank you, Brody.
You're welcome. I'm happy.
Imagine his name was Power Surge.
Power Sergio.
Well, let's just introduce him
since he...
since we're talking to him
anyway.
On the hat side of the stage,
it's Brody Stevens, everybody.
Thank you.
I really enjoy Toronto.
Every time I come back, it gets better and better.
And better.
It gets shittier and shittier.
I live here.
Oh, it does?
Yeah.
These people probably left yesterday to get to this theater.
Oh, this is far away from stuff?
No, every road around here is closed.
Every one of them.
I love those.
It's a soccer game.
You have to drive very far to get here.
That was a good...
Thanks, man.
Topical.
Good reasoning.
But yeah, there's a lot of...
That's all the driver wanted to talk about
when I was getting a ride in from the airport
was how bad the traffic's gotten.
And he kept trying to get me to say whether it was worse in L.A. or Toronto.
And I was like, well, this traffic I'm sitting in right now is typical of L.A.
And he was like, so Toronto's worse than L.A.?
Like it was weirdly important to him to win.
And I didn't want him to win.
Because LA is horrible.
At least Toronto,
and correct me if I'm wrong,
you can sort of live
in the middle of it
and then not have to
drive everywhere,
just walk over.
It's a very pedestrian city.
Very pedestrian friendly, yeah.
That's like complaining
about traffic in Manhattan
or Philadelphia or something. It's like, well, it's, that's like complaining about traffic in Manhattan or Philadelphia or something.
It's like, well, it's fucking walk.
Yeah.
What are you...
Get in a cab.
Yeah.
Take the subway.
But he was also trying to win at being the worst at something.
He says, what's worse?
Are we worse?
And he wanted you to say yes so we could win at being the worst.
That's weird.
I'm the best.
We're the best at being bad at something.
I just think he did not want to take any responsibility for the traffic, nor did I want him to. What's weird. I'm the best, we're the best at being bad at something. I just think he did not want
to take any responsibility for the traffic, nor
did I want him to. What's his fucking name?
I want to find this guy.
I don't like the sound
of him. You know, it's so silly of me,
because I should do this. I should write down the name of every
driver.
Because these things, they do come up later
where somebody's like, what was
his name?
But let me quickly introduce one more guest
and then we'll find out what all your prizes are.
Our fourth and the only first-time guest on the panel,
and I'm very excited to have him.
We've been having fun backstage.
Mark Forward is here, everybody.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
It's nice to be here.
I, uh,
we've known each other for 10,
15 minutes, and, um...
I think it's
going great. There was a fly downstairs.
This is the best
thing I've ever seen.
Doug locked himself in the
room with it, with a giant
poster. And he
fought it for ten minutes.
I wasn't going to leave that room until that
fly was dead or the show had to begin.
It was a genuine
holocaust. It was.
It really was
Anyway
There's no more
There's no more flies down there
That's a great segue out of holocaust
Anyway
60 million
Whatever
Yeah
Anyway
Five
Well it wasn't the only holocaust
The fly holocaust? There have been Yeah Pretty much everyone in this room Whatever. Yeah, anyway. Well, it wasn't the only Holocaust.
The fly Holocaust?
There have been.
Pretty much everyone in this room has probably had a personal Holocaust
at some point,
you know, like sitting between,
like in the middle seat
with two fat guys with BO
on a long flight.
Or being the only Jewish guy up here.
You could say to yourself.
Anyway. Anyway.
Anyway.
That was a good guess.
That was a good guess because we don't know
each other very well either.
10 to 15 minutes.
You took a shot
and you went for it.
Where can we get
your album, Mark,
forward thinking?
Because if you haven't done that yet, I congratulate you.
I haven't.
Thank you for the congratulations.
What's the...
Your name is not unlike Power Surge.
No.
It sounds like an act...
Your name said together sounds like an activity
or something you're supposed to do.
Yeah.
It's time to mark forward, everybody.
I say that in the mirror every morning.
It's mark forward to victory.
I wake up and look in the mirror and go,
let's mark forward it today.
You know what?
I hate to do this to the winner of the prize bag,
the eventual winner,
but can I just give you this shiny headband?
Yeah.
Because I think you'd like it.
Sure, I'd love it. I think you'd like it. Sure, I'd love it.
I think you'd like to own it.
Thank you.
What's that?
Can I take the tag off?
You're committing to it
if you take the tag off.
We cannot return it.
I don't know.
Oh my God, you just took it off.
Olivia Newton-John.
Can I just say...
Olivia Newton-John.
Can I just say,
I have some more shows tonight
and I'm not going to take this off for them.
Yes!
So if you see me later tonight,
you'll be the only one person laughing.
It doesn't really look like a headband.
It seems kind of tight.
It looks like a giant head.
Is it going to cut off circulation to your brain?
I'll be alright.
For someone with a big head, it doesn't draw attention to it. Don't worry, it's fine.
Did you see the guy with the lasso on his forehead?
Oh my god.
Well, you got away, didn't you?
I did. I got away.
I tried to lasso you off.
I have lasso scissors in my back pocket at all times.
So your opening joke is,
everyone so got away from the rodeo today.
It's good to be here.
You don't talk like that.
Yeah, I know.
You don't talk like that. That's a bad impression.
That didn't sound anything like me.
Hey, guys. Okay. Who do you think you are? That didn't sound anything like me Hey guys
Okay
Who do you think you are?
Don Johnny and Marin?
It's fun to make references
My whole panel is like
What does that mean?
But John Doerr brought what he thinks
This is kind of a sidebar competition today
He thinks this is
One of the best
if not the best gifts ever brought
for the prize bag. Well, hold on.
I did say
I asked you what the greatest gift was
ever brought. I couldn't even think
of what it was. You couldn't think of what it was?
I couldn't think of what the greatest one was because people bring so many
amazing things. They do.
Now, we've already lost
the headband from the bag, so this better be good.
Which was $49,
apparently. What?
Yeah, $49.
Made in downtown L.A.
Can I verify? It must have come with something else
attached to it. Brody would like to verify.
Like, $48. Yeah, I see a
$49. Thank you.
Why was I not trusted? Is that $49?
I'll tell you why, because that's a headband.
I'm the one wearing the headband.
And it feels like a $49
headband.
Did you shoplift that?
You didn't buy that.
Well, I can tell you this right now. Somebody gave it to me
in my travels. It might have been
a spastic
bag checker at the airport. I don't know how that got into my possession. I might have been a spastic bag checker at the airport.
I don't know how that got into
my possession. I have no idea.
Great, and now it's on my head.
Spastic bag checker.
I like that. Sounds good.
Have you seen spastic bag checker?
SBC? You know me.
I brought...
My gift, by the way, is...
Let's talk about your gift.
Let's talk about your gift, which is gift. That might be a $49...
Let's talk about your gift, which is comedy.
That might be a $49 headband.
This is an $80 gift.
Okay, so just in terms of dollar value,
there's been a more expensive prize...
Retail.
...on the show, but...
There has been?
This still might be the best one.
Motherfucker, I was gonna...
We did give away a cabin on the Weezer cruise.
Oh, well, that's the bester cruise That was a pretty good prize
I can't beat that
I'm sorry I didn't think of it earlier in the dressing room
I could have saved you all this anguish
But what is this shitty $80 thing?
People listening are going to think something just happened.
He's just sitting there looking at me.
So subtle.
I think your listeners are smart enough, you know?
I don't know.
They're probably thinking
JP whipped out a little mime bit over there.
Oh, there he goes.
I'm starting to worry about Mark's forehead.
Don't. No, it's turning purple and the
forehead meat is spilling over the top.
The forehead meat.
Did the spastic bag checker have much
forehead meat, by the way?
Mark's got muffin head.
Muffin top head.
Really funny.
I was going to buy a TV.
And I thought, that's insane.
Well, you bought this item?
I bought it.
Holy shit.
This is the best prize ever.
The Weezer didn't cost them anything to give us a cabin.
Well, fuck them.
This is the best gift, then.
And it's not for everyone, that's for sure.
But I thought about it,
and I got a remote-control Ferrari Enzo.
And you also have the receipt, which is very thoughtful.
I have the receipt right here,
and it's not polite to leave the price tag on.
That's why I did.
It's $80.
And it's right there.
Yeah, Doug.
$80.
It's not polite.
I'm just going to put that there for everyone to look at.
$80.
That's definitely a better value.
You can return it and buy all the fucking books you want.
Oh, trade it in for books.
I like that.
You could trade it in for one and a half headbands.
To make an even bigger headband.
Yeah, get one that'll fit you after you staple it together.
What?
Why are you guys shitting on the size of my
headband?
It was a gift.
I didn't try
on headbands
and pick this
one.
Well,
you should
take the tag
off.
You could have
taken it back.
Ah,
damn it.
I'm not going
to fly to L.A.
to return this.
Plus,
you don't even know what other magical colors might be available.
Well, if you had to guess what color it was.
Right now?
I've forgotten.
I'll tell you what it is.
It's a mocha.
It says right here, mocha.
You're wearing a mocha.
It's like chocolate.
It is.
You're right.
Good job.
We covered that already.
It's like mocha.
There's no trust on this stage.
No one can just believe what they hear.
Let's trust people from now on.
Let's do it.
Go.
Mark Forward.
Yes, friend.
What did you bring for the prize bag?
Oh, I brought a lovely,
a great Canadian artist
made this sculpture of a, it's of a lamb sitting on a lion sitting on a fish sitting on a turtle.
That's beautiful.
That's beautiful.
What's that the turtle's sitting on?
The turtle's sitting on like like, algae or something?
Avocado.
Why is the fish so big?
It's bigger than the lion.
It really is.
I've never seen a fish that big before in my life.
It's a large fish.
You know what I would do with that if I owned that?
I would get an aquarium that is just a little shyer in size than it,
and I'd fill it up with water, and I'd put it in,
and I'd make it look like the turtle and the fish and the lion got together
to save the lamb from drowning.
That's beautiful.
That's a beautiful story. And that's funny, because it was
called Save the Lamb
by the artist, David Baxter.
I think that was just the lion talking.
Save the lamb for dinner.
Looks like a kebab.
What an exotic kebab you're serving at this party.
There you go.
You'll have hours more fun.
So that's going in the prize bag.
The bottom line is you're going to have to carry a lot of crap out of here.
If you win tonight, it's a lot of heavy stuff,
and we only brought, like, very light bags to carry it around in.
So good luck, everybody.
And
I don't even know what
time it is.
I don't even care.
This is so much fun, you guys.
Thanks.
Yeah.
Have you been to the cinema lately,
J.P. Manu? I know you probably went to see
some things at the
Toronto Film Festival.
I didn't.
I didn't actually get to see the movies.
All right, nice talking to you. Brody Stevens.
Yes.
Thank you.
You been to the movies?
Not in a while.
Okay, mark forward.
This is getting us back on track. We're really saving time
with this segment. I saw
the last, oh god, the last one I saw
I lorded the rings. Okay,
it's nice.
It was great. Nice to hear about that.
I hope they make more.
And John Doerr, have you been
to the cinema?
Has Doerr gone to the Bloor?
No, but I watched Godfather III on television
and I sent out an Instagram because I just got on Instagram
and I didn't know that everyone could access it.
And I sent a picture of my living rooms
with the caption,
arguably the greatest of the trilogy.
And it was a picture from Godfather 3.
And then some guy I didn't know
sent a message back saying,
I thought you're supposed to live in a nice house and shit.
That motherfucker.
I like end shit.
When you're typing it out, it's weird to add that.
I know. It's a vocal thing, I understand.
It's such a conversational thing.
It's a mannerism, yeah.
I'm going to show it to you, too.
Oh, you're going to show us your shitty house?
Yeah, I have to show you my shitty house.
Yeah, I suffer for my art.
But he did do that.
People can find a way to attack anything
you put on the Twitter or wherever.
Say, I wrote, arguably,
the Godfather 3, arguably the greatest film
of the trilogy. Excuse me, sir.
Oh, no, sorry, this is what he wrote.
Excuse me, sir, but why isn't your house fancy and shit?
Second one down.
I get the and shit more now
because it's following fancy.
What?
It wasn't like he was really ripping on your house
the way it is.
He was just surprised it wasn't more elegant.
Yeah, why don't you have more opulent things?
Exactly.
Probably because you don't want your eye
to be distracted by opulence
when you're trying to watch arguably the greatest in the trilogy
of the Godfather films.
Like I said, arguably.
Isn't Sofia Coppola in that?
Yeah, she is. She dies at the end.
She gets shot on the steps at the opera house.
That's very satisfying when that happens.
Yes. I've often been shot leaving the opera. I like it.
I like dudes that love their daughters,
but man, is she awful in that movie.
Like, no one stopped that from happening
for her being that awful for an entire movie.
See what I said?
Arguably the greatest film.
This is what I love about it.
It always starts a good conversation.
Yeah.
We should do an interruption of that sometime.
It was supposed to be Winona Ryder, though, wasn't it?
Yeah, yeah.
Godfather 3 would be great.
It was supposed to be Winona Ryder, and then, like, she Godfather 3 would be great. It was supposed to be Winona Ryder,
and then she had
an emotional breakdown
or something,
and she couldn't do it.
Winona?
Yeah.
She shoplifted.
I think she ran off
with Dracula.
But we got lost
in translation.
Yeah, no,
I'm saying she went on
to be a filmmaker
whose work I enjoy,
and his work has
a lot of good acting in it.
She knows good acting
when she sees it. Yeah, Doug's not saying
her whole career shit. Just didn't like her in
Godfather 3.
Brody, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you. I love
you a lot. No, I don't mind.
You went for a nice walk today. Remember? You're a good guy.
To be honest with you, she
of course was the baby in the first
Godfather. She was great in that.
And no, she...
That's the only flaw of that movie.
The scene she's in, go look at him again.
That baby does not know how to
react. Doesn't know what it's doing?
Doesn't know how to act like a baby at all.
Oh, no. Granted, her
listening shots were terrible.
Shut up and
listen. Stupid baby actor.
Yeah.
Not very good. Well, now's a good time to say
let the games begin!
Take control, Toronto!
Of your soccer
hooligans!
The fucking people leaving that soccer game
just walk across the street without even looking. We almost ran
over like 20 of them. Yeah.
And they had children in hand too.
Yeah. Like they were adults. They're walking their
children into danger. They've got like, they're
walking around with soccer fever. Like those people
they were as dazed looking as
someone who's wearing too tight of a headband
for about 30 minutes.
Give or take 10 minutes.
So the audience brought name tags.
You were talking about me.
At this point, John and I are jealous
that we don't have something tied on our heads.
Our heads are just out there, free
falling. Am I supposed
to mention my gift or is that... Oh, yes!
I don't know. falling. Am I supposed to mention my gift or is that it? Oh, yes. Everyone
ignores the Jew. I think we
just had to create a new award
and that's going to be the person who speaks
last and the softest is going to get the Brody
Stevens award. Yeah.
My voice is a little
raw. So you want me to explain what this is?
Yeah, it's around your neck, so take it off and tell us about it.
Oh, I'll take it off.
Okay.
I enjoy baseball and stadiums, and I wanted to go down to the...
I like it in bathtubs.
Yeah.
I wanted to go down to the Sky Dome.
I refuse to call Rogers Center.
Wow, they love that it's called Rogers Center. Wow, they love that
it's called Rogers Center.
I'm really nuts as soon as you said Rogers
Center. Rogers,
it's on my phone. Stay off it.
So is Rogers essentially
the AT&T of here?
Because we hate AT&T.
Well, I love AT&T.
Sorry, guys.
Didn't mean to ruin any endorsements you have working.
Someday.
So, I finagled a field pass.
I went down there.
All I wanted to do was see Jose Bautista.
Joey Bax.
That's all I wanted to do because I met him before.
And then I went down there. I got a
pass. I went down there on the field. I felt the AstroTurf. It was great. I thought about all the
World Series championships and the Argonauts and Bruce McNall. And, you know, I met Wayne Gretzky
in the airport the other day coming here at Pearson. So I just keep the sports theme going.
This is my pass, my field pass.
You can't use it, but I'm going to donate it.
And it means a lot to me because it has...
What if they just let their facial hair grow, put on a pair of sunglasses,
and walk in and say, positive energy.
Don't you think they could get in?
You got it. You'll be in the dugout.
So I like this pass. It's colorful.
So it does mean something to me
and that means that I'll donate it
to the show.
To the victor.
To the victor.
Gets my pass.
Says Steven Brody Stevens.
I hope whoever wins today
gives it back to you.
That would be a very touching moment.
Just go ahead and throw it there with those really great gifts
Toronto loves sports
wait it was good hanging there
but they couldn't see it
because it was hanging behind the
I was going to put it with the other gifts
that fancy $80 vehicle
I can put it anywhere you want
I only played this theater last night.
I know all the angles
and sight lines.
It'd be funny
if you put that up,
but that's okay.
Okay.
All right, wait.
Let me contribute
to this.
Did you really meet
Wayne Gretzky
at the airport?
Yeah.
L.A.X.
and Pearson.
Did you talk
to Wayne Gretzky?
Yes, I did.
Holy fuck. What did you say to Wayne Gretzky? Yes, I did. Holy fuck.
What did you say to Wayne Gretzky?
I said, excuse me, I need to get to the kiosk.
I like it.
True story.
The Gretzky kiosk.
Yeah.
And then I did talk to him at the baggage claim here, and he was a nice guy.
Nice.
What did you talk to him about i said i was
in due date and i i met you at the roosevelt and that's all i was just good he was a nice guy
he's in due date no he went to the premier i spoke to him oh okay in hollywood i remember
had a conversation with him was real quick but just brought brought that up and he was a nice guy. He was cool.
Wayne Gretzky had a hat on. What else? He had a leather jacket. Yeah. What kind of hat was it? He had like a Gretzky Kids Club, something like that. He had a Gretzky camp hat on.
He's wearing his own name on his head.
Yes, he was.
I know it's for the Kids Club, but I feel weird wearing that.
It was a small font.
You had to look close.
I give it to him.
I give it to him.
And he's leaned out a bit.
He's wearing a leather jacket in summer.
Is he making a comeback?
No, he just...
Is he going to play again or no?
No.
That'd be great if he told you he was going to play again
and you talked him out of it.
You just said,
you don't have the right energy for that.
Energy, yes.
818 till I die.
Where's your protection?
Where's Marty McSorley when you need him?
One third sports fans here.
Okay.
Oh, my ankles are tingling.
That'll happen.
We have like EMTs on standby, right?
Yeah, we got...
No, we don't have any EMTs.
You put this on my fat head
and you don't have EMTs.
Are you also transforming
into some sort of character?
I'm transforming into Headband Man.
Headband Man.
The headband is sweating.
Oh, man man Ha ha
Guys
I'm terrible at this game
I think we're supposed to pick name tags still
Yeah
So go grab the name tag you want to play for
Bring it back to your seat
Don't read the shithead on the back out loud
If there isn't a shithead on the back
If there isn't a shithead on the back
The person who made that name tag is a shithead and uh while they do that we'll do this we'll be
right back those are real donuts yeah because i'm a fat fuck we've learned that
yeah so we should we'll open the donut i saw other better ones but this one was donuts and
it had your name it actually has your name on it.
Yeah, but I think she wrote that after.
Let's be honest.
What do you mean, after what?
That's a great one.
This one's really good.
That's a sports thing.
Breakfast at Griffin E's.
Doug Benson plays that darling, darling,
holly-go-lightly to a new high in entertainment delight.
And they even look at, look at, they got a light on them.
Hang on a second.
We're back.
What's your name tag?
It's a poster, a spoof of Breakfast at Tiffany's, but it says Breakfast at Griffinies.
It looks more impressive than your description well for a podcast i'm gonna return this and get
another one is that okay i have to go with this one okay yeah no this one's great i love
this one even came with its own uh marquee light underneath it yeah yeah so they don't have to
usually people will have to point their phones at their name tags
or bring a flashlight or
even a fleshlight. They'll just wave a fleshlight
at it.
And all the glorious light that comes from a woman's
vagina shines on the
poster.
Is the theater usually like outside
littered afterwards with angry name tags?
No, they're reusable and recyclable.
You can take it home with you and then bring it back
the next time. I think I would
destroy mine viciously and angrily.
I spent time on this.
Who are you playing for, Mark?
I'm playing for Angela
in the outfield.
I like it. She gave me six
large, busting donuts.
And it had my name on it. Well, whip one out of there and take a bite. Let us tell us how you like it. And she gave me six large, busting donuts. And it had my name
on it. Well, whip one out of there and take
a bite. Let us tell us how you like it.
Yeah, I should make this headband tighter.
I just read the back. There's a note on the back of this.
Don't say the shithead. Don't say it out loud. I will not say it!
That's for at the end. Okay.
This is for at the end. Look at that donut.
Beautiful. That smelled like a big end. Okay. This is for at the end. Look at that donut. Beautiful.
That's more like a big piece of cake.
It's round.
Doug and friends.
Those are donuts, by the way.
I know it says for the rest of them.
A little headband character.
Headband man's getting scary.
He takes one bite.
She's like, it says Doug and friends.
Don't get out of control.
She assumed the fat guy with the thin headband
is also an asshole.
Do not mark forward
with those donuts.
I don't want one.
No offense.
Because at the end, if you lose,
we'll see.
I will take one of those. Thank you. because at the end, if you lose, we'll say it. I'm okay. I have a 7 o'clock show. Okay, gotcha.
I will take one of those.
Thank you.
JP's enjoying it.
Okay, Nutella banana.
I gotta go banana, but that doesn't look banana.
Okay.
Is this Tim Hortons? There we go.
No, I'm good, thanks. Oh, good lord.
But those do look awesome. Thank you for bringing those.
How old are these? When did you make that?
Were these bought today?
Well, they made the box.
They wrote on it.
Yeah, they wrote on the box.
But did you buy these donuts, like, today?
Thank you.
That's all I ask.
She bought them today.
Thank you very much.
Let us know, Quality Control.
They're quite good.
I would laugh if she brought day-old ones.
I'd be fine with day old as well
alright
that's all I wanted to know last two days
go ahead give it a
oh wow I took a big ass bite
a lot of it in the beard
these are terrible I don't like that at all
I thought I was getting a banana one
that was under the banana row and it was not
that was apple
it doesn't look like apple or banana.
It doesn't taste...
It's shit.
And I know someone put a lot of work into it,
so it is shit.
Mine's really good.
No, mine wasn't.
What did you get?
John, can you not...
Mark, you just...
Are you kidding me?
What?
You just stepped right on the donuts, Mark.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
I didn't...
It's okay, because you know what?
I am so sorry, Angela.
No, no. He only...
Mark only stepped on one.
It's awful.
I can't believe you stepped on the pancake.
This is still edible.
Lego.
Oh!
Yeah!
There's shoe markings on it.
His shoe didn't touch it, just the top of the box.
No, there was some shoe in that.
Who knows where the top of the box has been, though.
That's the first thing I lick when I bring a box of donuts home.
Did you do that on purpose?
Do you want those?
What's that?
What's your name, Donald?
I don't know.
Did you do that on purpose?
Step on her dreams?
I don't think he's accountable
for his actions right now.
Did you do that on purpose?
Oh, man.
He doesn't do anything.
I would hate to be in a play with you.
Hey, are you really a phantom?
No, and this isn't an opera.
What's your name again, the lady, donut lady?
Angela.
Sorry, Angela. Angela in the out Angela. Angela, sorry, Angela.
Angela in the outfield.
Oh, yeah, Angela in the outfield.
Not a fan.
Not a fan.
I want to thank Angela.
Mine's like an apple pie.
It's delicious.
JP likes it.
They're a bit off.
Plus, she didn't make them anyway.
I tried a bite of two of them, and they're not good.
Um, what's one worse than the other though By a little bit
I don't know I'm feeling sick
But I don't know if it's the headband or the donut
This is a donut
You've had a lot today
I've had a lot
You've had some beer
You have the headband on
Can I go get a beer by the way
I smoked some weed
Please do yes
But I'm allowed to
Or I don't want to ruin
No please
Or somebody might want to help you
But you know
We can get you a beer
Shane The mic You don't need to monitor the levels Everything, please. Or somebody might want to help you, but, you know, we can get you a beer. Shane, can you...
The mic...
You don't need to monitor the levels.
Everything's fine.
Can you go get me two beers?
One for Mark, one for me.
Please.
You're not moving?
Oh, could you open them also?
Because there's no bottle opener down there.
Oh, he's listening to something else?
He might be.
He's not responding to me at all.
He's got that new U2 album on. Hey!
Can you please
grab me two creamer from the
fridge?
No, it's just gone. Oh, there he is.
Thanks, Shane.
Okay. Zane.
It's never good when somebody has to take headphones off like this.
Yeah.
Never good. That's always like a surveillance
Situation in a movie, he's gonna ride
Yeah
God, fuck it
We lost contact
You should have kept him on the phone longer
Brody
Who are you playing for?
I am playing for
10 seconds, the pain begins
15 seconds, you can't breathe
20 seconds you explode
Seaners yes
I guess I'm playing for Sean
yeah you really sold that
yeah
is that not what I was supposed to do
well Sean thank you
and good luck we're gonna do it
oh I mean Brody's gonna win
no positive push let's go I fixed my phone so the answer and good luck. We're going to do it. Oh, I mean, Brody's going to win.
No?
Positive push. Let's go.
I fixed my phone so the answer... Oh, shit.
There's some beers for you guys.
And some hugs.
Now get the fuck out of here.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Genuinely, thank you.
I rigged the game
so that the answer is always due date.
So
congratulations, Sean.
But who are you playing for, JP, just for
the hell of it? Jesse Usher.
And his
is a wonderful twist on the
Jumanji
poster. It's Jumanji. That's a wonderful twist on the Jumanji poster. It's Jumanji.
That's a wonderful twist.
Jumanji.
I think I got roadies.
Sitting right next to this.
Why are you...
You don't have to hold it.
Jumanji.
Is that a Holocaust movie?
Jumanji.
Is that a Holocaust movie?
An adventure for those who seek to find a way to leave their world behind.
That might have been the actual tagline for the movie, though, right?
You're absolutely right, audience.
Oh, you are so on.
The audience was right on.
Did Schindler have a to-do list?
Did you also bring a Ouiju board?
They can find you ghosts!
Don't look at me!
I really don't...
I need you to not pass out on me, Mark, because...
I don't think I can make it.
We've got a very important game to play.
Although your head crashing into
a stool with beers and donuts on it would be
pretty hilarious.
I'm going to go straight for my statue
and get a lamb through the skull.
Oh, no.
That thing would be the best
murder weapon. Murder.
It's like the Bizarro Chinese
Zodiac. It was in
the billiard room with the
lamb, lion, fish,
turtle statue. It looks
like those balanced rocks on Bloor
in front of the Starbucks. Am I right, guys?
I took a photo without tipping.
Local reference.
I'm going to have to go check that out. It's there.
I just can't believe you guys
picked name tags that didn't have food.
That's ridiculous.
Oh, here's a poster.
You know, there's lots of food out there.
There's often gifts, very large posters.
What happens to them now?
JP and Brody both picked wallet size.
I don't know what compels people to pick certain things.
I got half of Mark's.
I may have just given myself Canadian diabetes.
I couldn't fit a box into my fanny pack.
I love that.
Your disappointment in their reaction got a big laugh.
They appreciated it.
That's what a great crowd this is.
They're going to get their laughs in somewhere.
A lot of laughs are coming
as a result of facial gestures.
Yeah, good podcast.
I did a facial gesture.
Facial gesture.
Should we say that now?
You're pointing something out with your face?
Yeah, like this.
It's that way. Facial gesture.
That's the politest way to gesture.
Pointing's rude.
Just do it with your face. Exactly.
Don't point. Do you guys play a game
on this podcast?
What?
Last time we played this,
I was...
I almost won,
but I said meet the Fockers instead of meet the parents.
Oh, that's a crucial mistake you made there.
It was crucial because it was the wrong movie,
but I was in the right family.
Doug, go ahead.
I'm trying to give some history and context.
I love it.
Good.
Let's play the game.
If you want.
We're going to start with something that I like to call ABC These Nuts.
It's a spelling game, you guys.
We'll start with JP and work our way across.
Spelled correctly already.
M-A-N-O-U-X.
We're going to spell, because we're interrupting it later tonight,
some of us on this stage,
here in Toronto as part of Just for Laughs,
we're going to interrupt the classic meatballs.
Not because, yeah, go ahead, applaud for meatballs.
Not just because, I mean,
I'm not really necessarily want to make fun of it.
I'm just excited to see it on a big screen
like I did when it first came out and Bill Murray emerged as a huge star as a result of it. I'm just excited to see it on a big screen like I did when it first came out and Bill Murray
emerged as a huge star as a result
of it.
So
JP, we're going to start with you with the letter M.
And you just have to name
any movie that begins with the letter
M. And if it matches
the one that I've written down ahead of time
you win automatically.
But if you can't think of one, and this has happened, you guys, not just on the letter X, on lots of letters,
people blank. And so if you can't think of one, you're out. JP, Oh, my God.
I just saw on TV that Lindsay Lohan has been sending emails to Tina Fey.
Those are going in the trash.
Telling her she has a great idea for Mean Girls 3
and that she should reach out
and that she's going to continue to bother her
until she actually writes it.
Tina Fey is in her own Holocaust.
She is in a Lindsay Lohan Holocaust
because there's no way she's going to write that movie for her.
I don't think.
I think it's a smart move, honestly.
Did they make Mean Girls?
You know what her great idea is?
They're all older and now they're
housewives
oh yeah
okay
I like it
what would have
happened
to those characters
oh
people got upset
um
they
they liked the idea
I went with
really you guys
want to see
Mean Girls 3
or 2 I guess right why did I jump to 3 Mean Girls 3? Or 2, I guess, right?
Why did I jump to 3?
You said 3, and that's why I asked.
Did they even make 2?
Yeah, they did.
Lindsay Lohan wasn't in it.
And it took place at a summer camp.
Oh.
And then what?
No, I meant 2.
You did Mean 2.
They haven't made Mean Girls 2 already.
I know, why'd you say three?
But it's funnier that Lindsay Lohan
wants to make Mean Girls 3 and not 2.
That's great.
That's the most creative thing she's ever come up with.
I wish that was...
There was a 2 we have of the young lady.
Oh, there was a 2, was there?
Who was in that?
Oh, okay, she's like, I don't know anything about
it, but I can verify that
it happened. Get out.
Oh, it's a TV movie.
Oh. It was Meredith
Baxter Burney.
Boom.
Points. I gotta watch that.
Yes.
I said an M word.
I didn't go with Mean Girls I went with Midnight Express
Good movie
Yes because I'm going to be on At Midnight
On Monday September 29th
Now available in Canada
On Much Music
At Midnight
What show?
Brody you have the letter E
I would just like to say
that
the M, I did think Midnight Express
I work at midnight
I'll see Doug there on Monday
I'm excited about that
You didn't realize I work there
I help out, I push the energy.
Okay.
E.
X.
Caliber.
Okay.
I went with Escape from Alcatraz
because I'm going to be in San Francisco
at Cobb's on October 30th.
We're going to Douglas Movies there.
A is your letter, Mark.
Oh, shit.
I can't imagine how hard this would be
with a super-tight headband on.
I know, I can't even function properly.
I think I just wet myself.
Don't, please don't.
I can't help it
Is this really happening?
I ask myself that all the time
What are you doing?
That's how I think.
A.
Yep.
Just say it out loud, then say more words or more letters or more consonants.
Were you not ready?
Or vowels.
A.
Alcatraz.
You're going to be there next.
Mark, you have it right in front of you.
Angels in the Outfields.
Oh, Angels in the Outfields.
Right there.
It's on your donut box.
For the taking.
Apocalypse Now.
You're out.
Does that mean I leave?
What happens? No, no, no. You just hang out. you're out does that mean I leave or what happens
no no no
you just hang out
I'll probably forget
that you're out
by the time it gets back to you
so just be ready
I went with Airborne
because it was shot
supposedly in Cincinnati
where I'm going to be
at Go Bananas
October 18th
at 420
and also Airborne features
Jack Black
and isn't a bad
little movie, actually.
Doug, I'd just like to say, in my backpack,
if we got it right now, I have a
bottle of Airborne.
Does it come
in bottles?
Yeah, it's a lozenge. You don't have to dip it in water.
It's a crazy coincidence, Brody.
Alright, what do I know? I was only in the movie
Due Date.
I'm sorry, there are no D's
in meatballs.
Your letter, John,
is the letter T.
Weekend at Bernie's.
No, what did you say?
I was just about to say the letter T is Weekend at Bernie's. I was just about to say
the letter T is a very easy letter.
Probably more movies
begin with the letter T than any other letter.
The Schindler's List.
You know, if you're not going to take this seriously,
you're just going to keep
bringing up the Holocaust.
You're right.
You're absolutely right. Here're right. If you're just going to keep bringing up the Holocaust. You're right. You're absolutely right.
Here we go.
Comedy comes in threes.
So John's third joke answer is...
I'm gassed.
Oh my god.
Thank you. I believe comedy comes in eleven my god. Thank you.
I believe comedy comes in 11s, by the way.
So buckle up.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Really, I gotta answer this?
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Is that how you're gonna approach all the games today?
Well, no, but you gave me T.
You do expect me to participate.
You gave me T. tea yeah any movie that
begins with the letter t okay the godfather yeah yeah i mean it's that easy i know but
okay where are you performing it's not that easy i had a and it's sitting right fucking in front of
me right on my name tag yeah that was that yeah was... I went with what I find to be
one of the most hilarious motion pictures
to ever come out of Canada
for my letter T,
and that is The Sweet Hereafter.
Yeah.
That was classic.
There are plenty of people in the United States
that'll hear that joke and have no idea.
And that's why I said it.
But it is a good movie.
Sarah Pauly sang a tragically hip song in that movie.
I didn't even realize this.
Last night I had a beer called The 100th Meridian,
and I realized if I get alcohol poisoned and die,
I hope everyone gets Roy Cougar to sing my eulogy.
Play it to the hometown
crowd.
Doug's not happy about that.
I just have no idea what just happened.
I know.
You get the letter B, JP.
B.
It's just down to you and to
Brody.
It's a very tight competition.
Benji?
Huh?
Benji.
Oh yeah, Benji.
Benj Monji.
Was there, the first one was just called Benji?
Yeah, I think it was.
Eventually they did Benji the Hunted,
which is a very dark twist.
I think the first one was Benji the Benji.
Yeah, just Benji.
I went with Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
because, strangely enough,
it was filmed partially in Arizona.
I didn't know that.
And I'll be at the Tempe Improv
November 13 and 15.
And, uh, Brody, you get the letter A.
I...
You probably thought of one earlier
when we were tossing around AE titles
I certainly was, I counted it out
oh you planned ahead?
yes I did
what do you got?
well there's a lot of Schindler's jokes tonight
and I would like to go with the movie
How I Feel Up Here
American history acts
I'm getting jumped by a bunch of Aryans
you don't do that to me.
Not in Toronto.
Not in the multicultural city of Toronto.
You got it.
Priestburger.
No. No.
I went with Air Force One.
For pretty much the same reasons.
Somehow Air Force One was shot partially in Columbus, Ohio?
That doesn't seem right.
It seems like it should have been inside a plane in the air and then down at the White House.
But I'm going to be in Columbus at the Funny Bone October 19th
doing a Douglars movies.
It's the first time we're doing a Douglars movies there,
so that should be fun.
Mark, you're out.
John, I'm letting you stay back in because you seem so hurt.
I didn't take it seriously the first time, but I will this time.
So if I showed emotion, I would have been back in?
He did say the correct answer eventually.
I said some after.
You had no idea.
You couldn't even come up with one.
I don't even know where the fuck I am right now, John.
All right. What do you got for the letter now, John. Alright.
What do you got for the letter L, John?
Oh, um...
I'm surprised by how this is working.
Oh, oh, me?
League of their own.
Oh, sorry.
No, it doesn't count. I'm out because it's a league of their own.
Fuck.
But I thank you for moving the game along.
I went with Lost in Yonkers because I'm doing a movie interruption of Ghost in Yonkers on October 5th.
Alamo Draft House.
You got another L there, JP.
Oh, you're going to say it.
L.
Llewellyn, comma, inside.
It's kind of miraculous how difficult this game can be for some people.
Well, I so overthought L, I saw two Ls, and then it was like, all I could do was say Llewellyn.
Or Llewellyn, or whatever his name was.
It's The Last of the Mohicans, isn't it? That's what you wrote.
No, that's The Last of the Mohicans,
and I, uh...
I honestly, I think I might be fucking,
I might be an idiot.
This is pretty much a standard IQ test.
You're not the one that sat down
and put on this fucking idiot headband
in front of 500 fucking people, John.
Ah!
I went, we're about to lose one of these on stage.
I went with life because about to lose one of these on stage.
I went with Life because it's set near Sacramento
and I'll be there on November 1st at 420.
And thanks.
Can you turn that around? It's blinding us.
Oh, yeah, I can do that.
Not a problem.
Wow, that is very interesting.
I can absolutely do that.
I wasn't thinking. I'm so sorry about that.
Turn that around.
A gentleman in the audience pointed out that the flashlight on stage was shooting right into people's eyes,
but he's sitting way the hell back there.
I think he...
You're creating a lot of damage with that, I think.
I think he was...
Actually, you know what?
I don't like being talked to like that.
Yeah!
You don't do that to us.
We're busy doing a show.
Does anybody just walk up to the panel on Match Game and say that...
Yeah.
I thought he was a tech guy working on the microphone.
He did look like he came up to ask a question into that mic.
And by the way, your irises will naturally narrow, okay?
You're a human. You've evolved to the point.
Why is Mark on the floor?
Yeah, Doug. Doug, Mark's out. Mark's out.
Doug.
Uh-oh. Doug.
Oh, no, he's down?
Yeah, I'm down.
I didn't even notice because of this whole flashlight thing.
We're going to take care of this first,
and then we'll be with you, Mark.
Your headband matches with your belt.
You don't think it has an off switch, maybe?
I don't know.
Maybe you could just turn it off.
I don't see an off switch.
Oh, there it is on the front.
There you go.
Oh, wait a minute.
Turn it right the fuck off.
Yeah, but it's better if it's on.
There we go.
So at least point it at somebody different.
We'll move it every few minutes like a sundial.
It's off now.
Mark is back in his chair.
You going to be all right, buddy?
Yeah.
I wish I had another flashlight.
It's good to be in Cincinnati.
He's gone bananas.
Hey, aren't you playing gone bananas soon, doc?
Yeah, that's why I said it.
Yeah, man.
S is, who was on the last turn?
JP?
John?
I failed with L.
I think it's me.
No, I think Brody won.
So how does it go?
Brody gets to do, oh, I should have let Brody do an L word after Llewellyn.
Do you have an L word?
I had one, yeah.
A title, yeah?
I was going to say, leaving Las Vegas. If you would have said life, you have an L word? I had one, yeah. The title, yeah? I was going to say
Leaving Las Vegas.
If you'd have said life,
you would have matched me
and you already knew that.
But, uh...
Moving on to John.
The final letter.
This is your chance
to get a match.
The letter S.
Aren't I out?
Over to JP.
Thank you.
He's out too. Okay, S. You're both out? Shawsh JP. Thank you. He's out too.
Okay, S.
You're both out?
Shawshank Redemption.
All right, Brody wins, everybody.
Brody wins.
You know what I was going to say?
Saturday Night Fever tied back to the Airborne.
You got it.
Stay with me.
Seven o'clock, Drake Theater.
And it's the Shawshank Redemption.
And, uh...
theater. And it's the Shawshank Redemption.
I got chromosomal
issues. I don't know what's happening here.
I went with School of Rock
because
my friend
Jack Black is going to be
joining me on Getting Doug with High very
soon. Very soon High very soon.
Very soon.
Very soon.
If you're listening to this, you might be too late.
How are we doing on time, you guys?
Who cares?
I love it.
Love that attitude.
Toronto, who cares attitude?
Wow.
Oh, my gosh. Was that a June bug?
No it's a joint bug
You get a lot of credit from your cult members
We'll put that in the prize bag
Alright you guys we gotta concentrate
We got 23 minutes.
Quick question.
Do you ever smoke stuff that gets thrown at you?
What's that?
Do you ever smoke stuff that's just thrown at you on stage,
or are you worried, or are you...
Do I ever?
Yeah, like...
Do I ever smoke anything that wasn't thrown at me
or handed to me politely?
He wouldn't either, don't you?
I get a lot of weed, and I smoke all of it, John.
You do, huh?
Yeah.
Okay.
Oh, yeah, if you think that's safe. When I have a lot of weed and I smoke all of it, John. You do, huh? Yeah. Okay. Oh, yeah, if you think that's safe.
When I have a plane to catch, I redistribute it amongst the locals before I leave.
Because I don't fly with it.
You're like Jesus.
I do the same.
Only way better.
I do the same with my donuts.
That's sort of my, that was my nickname in high school, Better Jesus.
Better Jesus.
Sup, BJ?
That's not what they meant.
Nothing. Bring me your punch.
I'll turn it into something good.
Yeah.
We gotta play the Leonard Maltin game.
It's a must.
Brody gets to go first.
And then we'll switch the order around
and head JP's way.
And Brody gets to pick a category.
And Mark, if you fall off your chair again,
you're out.
Yeah, so try to stay upright.
Can I just ask why I got handicapped?
Right off the top.
Pretty sure it was your decision
to put that on
and to eat that other thing
and to drink those other things.
All your ideas.
Carpe diem.
JP gets to choose between pie
that category of course
is movies
that
Leonard gave
three stars and listed 14 names
okay
that's the pie category
Doug I thought I was
that you mentioned I was supposed to go first
that's cool
see how easy that is to fix Doug, I thought I was... You mentioned I was supposed to go first, but, you know... That's cool.
See how easy that is to fix?
People in the back screaming like it was the Holocaust.
Human resources here.
I think the people in the front were also screaming at the Holocaust.
Not just the people in the back. Yeah. Everybody's screaming at the Holocaust. Yeah. Not just the people in the back. Yeah.
Everybody's mad at the Holocaust.
Yeah. Everybody was screaming. Well,
that's not totally true. What's that? Really?
You just give the Holocaust a stern talking to?
No.
What?
It's intangible.
At Max P. Wilson suggested super bad, what it's intangible at
max p wilson
suggested super bad and that's
movies superhero movies
that leonard gave two stars or less brody
then we'll go to jp
or
the blueberry johnson category
which is you're in this
and this is films that
someone in the panel is in.
So I can pick the
topics? You get to pick, yeah, by
having control. It seems like I can
kind of feel which category you're going to gun
for. Why not? I'll go
for the movies that
we're in. Alright.
Yeah.
Pick a movie.
One of you is in this movie
From the year is 2008
Leonard gave this movie two and a half stars
He says about this movie
That
It gets a lot of mileage from the
Lead actor
Impersonating another actor,
according to Leonard.
Interesting description.
He says it starts off abysmally
and then improves as it goes along,
but then there's that formulaic,
barely credible finale.
And then he lists
11, 16 names.
16 names.
How many names can you get it in, Brody Stevens?
I could probably do it.
I know what I'm thinking.
I would say three names.
Wow.
Is that not?
That's a bold bid.
Oh, well.
But now we'll go to JP, see if he can bid lower or ask you to name it.
2008.
Three names.
I want to hear you name it, Brody.
Brody.
I just want to throw in one more clue.
Just to make it fair.
I'm not absolutely sure one of you is in this.
Thanks, Better Jesus.
That's the Better Jesus.
I don't know.
I'm just kidding. I'm pretty sure.
I got a good feeling about it.
Your three names, Brody, are Pete Best,
Jane Krakowski,
and Jonathan Glazer.
And these are, you know, lowly billed out of all the names
of this movie from two and a half stars from Leonard
from 2008?
My guess?
Please.
Tropic Thunder?
That is incorrect.
But it is funny you mentioned a Jack Black movie
because he says this gets much of its mileage
from Rainn Wilson's amusing Jack Black imitation.
And the film is called The Rocker. Who was in The Rocker? Mark Forward. the film is called The Rocker.
Who was in The Rocker? Mark Forward.
Mark Forward is in The Rocker.
I knew it.
Was that 2008?
I thought that was...
You weren't in Tropic Thunder?
I wish you passed it on.
When did you think it was?
You were in it, right?
Yeah, I was in it.
What year did you think it was?
I knew that was the movie because it's the only one I've in it. What year did you think it was? I knew that was the movie
because this is the only one I've been in.
But what about Brody's
many screen appearances?
I just felt it.
I thought that was the way to go, too.
I wish he passed it on.
Drop of Thunder?
No, I was going to go The Rocker.
I wish he passed it on.
Mark plays the role of Leon in that movie?
Yeah.
What does Leon do?
Does he get thrown out of the band for passing out during a rehearsal?
No.
Leon's name is never said, for one.
And I worked on that movie, and I still don't know what Leon's purpose was
I was at his office
Doug can I tell you why I picked
Tropic Thunder
because you said an actor playing an actor
right something like that
one actor imitating another
okay so I was thinking
Robert Downey Jr. playing the black guy
as a white guy
and then I was in due date with Robert Downey Jr. playing the black guy as a white guy.
And then I was in Due Date with Robert Downey Jr.
So I put that too. I get your thinking, totally.
All right, so.
Yeah.
But I didn't think, I thought maybe.
It's kind of like you were in Tropic Thunder.
Totally smart.
Okay.
Good reasoning.
You were in Due Date?
Opening scene.
That guy from Tropic Thunder.
Cool, cool, cool.
Ontario Airport.
Oh, man.
California.
So,
JP is on the board with one point.
Hey!
So he had no choice but to make him name it.
So that means we're going to start with you, John.
You get to pick a category, and then we're going to head towards JP.
So Mark, you're up next.
At Tom C. Judd suggested Rush,
and that's best picture Oscar winners that are under 100 minutes long.
There are actually a few of them.
Celebrating a birthday today.
I don't know if you guys are friends with him.
I don't know if Kumail Nanjiani is friends with him.
But Marc Maron is celebrating a birthday somewhere.
Somewhere in the world.
He's miserable.
And so the films of Marc Maron.
He's made some film appearances.
so the films of Mark Maron he's made some film appearances
and at
RJ Moffa
suggested best pitcher
best pitcher
and that's Oscar nominated baseball
movies
that's for me?
I thought it was a category you'd enjoy
but you don't get to pick the category
and now you've probably given
John a reason not to pick that category, and now you've probably given John a reason not to
pick that category.
But let's see what he does. I don't know, because I do
like that category as well.
So you can go ahead and take it if you want. But it's either one or three.
Oh, Mark Maron.
No, not... Yeah, I know. Poor boy.
I don't know about that. Lock the gates.
I'm gonna go with... why an Oscar nominated baseball film
let's do Oscar nominated baseball
okay
would you like an Oscar nominated baseball movie
from 1984 or 1986
no wait
let's call it
88
let's call both those years 88 or 184 188 or 186 let's pick
between the two 88s oh both of them are from 88 no no no it's uh it's definitely 88 or 84 never
seen somebody use glasses like that in my life doug just held his glasses to the phone while staying probably seven feet away.
I like that.
So they're both from 88, you said?
Yeah, pick one, goddammit.
Okay, I'll...
Well, what do you mean pick one?
What are you talking...
Which year would you like?
No, but I don't know the years.
88 or what?
84.
Oh, thank you.
Pick one, pick one!
88.
Oh.
You can shorten it.
Okay. Three stars from... Shorten it? We don't edit shit out of this
But that's a good idea
Edit that part
Edit the part that you don't edit anything
Three stars from Leonard for this movie
That's about baseball
Has baseball in it and also got
One or more Oscar nominations
Leonard calls this movie a bit
sluggish at times.
Nice. Leonard, well
done.
But he also says
it has some seriously sexy
scenes near the end.
So that's an interesting
way to find out Leonard is a butt man.
Interesting way to find out Leonard is a butt man.
And then he lists seven...
I can't believe I almost said was, like he was dead.
Leonard was a butt man, you guys.
That's why I'm going to open the eulogy if he goes first.
Don't let me talk, Don't worry about it.
Seven names.
John.
Baseball movie. Oscar nominations.
Sluggish.
Sexy.
I feel like I can do it.
I'm feeling sluggish and sexy tonight.
I think I can do it, but I don't know if this was nominated.
Seven names, huh?
You can take them all if you want.
I can just go for it if I want?
88?
You can say zero names, but don't announce what you think the title is.
No, it wasn't 88 or 84.
The next person gets to go.
I won't.
What was the final, 88 or 84?
This one was from 88.
Okay.
I did this last time and it fucked me, but I'm going to do it again. I can do it in one name. 88 or 84? This one was from 88. Okay.
I did this last time and it fucked me,
but I'm going to do it again.
I can do it in one name.
Okay, he says one name.
So I pass it to Mark.
What are you going to do with that, Mark?
Can you name it?
You have to name that movie, John Tarr.
All right.
Okay, now I think I got it. But I'm weirded out that this is...
I'm going to tell you your one name
it's Max Patkin
Patkin
P-A-T-K-I-N
Max Patkin
oh Max, I got it
what do you think the movie is?
I'm just going to say it and it's probably wrong
because I'm between two
but it's got to be when I say sexy towards the end
here it is.
It is... Oh, fuck. Was it nominated?
Okay.
I'm worried that it's going to be wrong.
I'm worried that we're not going to have time
to finish the game. Bull Durham. Correct.
Yes!
Motherfucker
Oh boo
I couldn't do that
I knew that when you said Max Padkin
I knew it
He's a clown prince of baseball
Or was he passed away
He does all the goofy copies the first baseman
It's a movie about him too. I know that was his name, but I know the clown print
Does that mean I have to take my own life now?
No, you just you could sit there, I mean you're doing it anyway
Slowly, but I'd like to see this process up
No, you're doing great. Thisxy was a great word. That helped.
That sexy is what that movie is.
That movie is sexy.
Jockstraps.
Arliss guy.
Arliss.
Arliss.
I'm going to fuck that shit.
Alright, now we're going to start with JP.
Fuck that shit.
And then we're going to go to Brody.
What happened?
So do I just...
I never get a turn ever.
Start with Brody, then go with Brody.
I don't understand anything.
What's happening?
You just had a turn.
You blew it.
Oh, okay.
You sent it back this way.
Oh, all right.
We switched the order around.
Everybody gets a chance.
At Squirrel Whisperer suggested...
And is this me or Brody?
This is you, JP.
But it might be Brody.
No, it's you.
It's all you.
Ah, this is Doug Loves Movies.
It's all you, JP.
Welcome, Mark Forward.
Say thanks.
Thank you.
There you go. Squirrel Whisperer suggested Purge Anarchy. Say thanks. Thank you.
There you go.
Squirrel Whisperer suggested Purge Anarchy.
Purge Anarchy.
And that's a movie where
more than one person has diarrhea.
At Party In My Jeans suggested
Thanks For The Plug.
Thanks For The Plug. And that's movies where someone dies in a bathtub. Thanks for the plug Thanks for the plug
And that's movies where someone dies in a bathtub
And for you guys
Oh Canada
And that's movies shot in Toronto
That are supposed to be New York City
Alright let's go with Oh Canada
Yay All right, let's go with O Canada.
Yay.
This movie was shot here.
It was supposed to be in New York.
One and a half stars from Leonard.
The year... Didn't work out so good.
Oh, man, it's the rocker again.
The year...
The year is 2000.
He says about this movie
that there's an unrated version that's available.
He also calls this movie...
He says the lead actor in this movie
gives a dynamic performance
and that it was followed by a direct-to-video sequel.
Direct-to-video, that's an expression.
And then he lists nine names.
How many, JP?
I don't feel like I got a lot of information here.
I'm going to say...
I can do it in seven names.
Oh, okay.
I thought you were trying to pull a Sam Levine.
I don't think I...
Zero names.
Four.
So he's taken seven out of them there, Brody.
What do you think?
I don't...
Yeah, not enough information.
I could probably name it in eight.
We're not looking for what you can actually do you'd have to
you'll have to bid six to be
one lower than
than JP's bid
you know what
or you can ask him to name it
okay I think I'll do that
what
you want to name it
why don't you name it?
Alright, so he gets the name.
JP gets seven out of nine names.
I probably should have tried, but...
I don't know, I feel I have mixed feelings about it.
But is that what we're doing?
You can say six, and then Mark would have to...
Don't pass it, don't pass it over.
And then Mark would have to name it in six,
or he'd have to pass it on.
I wasn't paying attention.
There's no info. You know what, I'll keep... You know what then Mark would have to name it in six, or he'd have to pass it on. I wasn't paying attention. There's no info.
You know what?
Okay.
I can name it in six names.
Yeah!
You know what?
Show them, bro.
I can name it in five names!
I can name it in four.
Now, that sounded like someone named Leon.
I have no idea what this is.
What?
Oh, sorry. Go ahead.
I was going to say I can name it in four. Go ahead. I said he sounded like someone named Leon the I have no idea what this is. What? Oh, sorry, go ahead. I was going to say I couldn't even afford it.
Go ahead.
I said he sounded like someone named Leon the way he just said that.
Oh.
Yeah, he did.
You're absolutely right.
All right.
Sorry.
He said five, and what do you say, John?
I mean, there's no info there.
There's nothing.
It's 2000.
It's double.
That's all you've said.
I've got to say.
What?
I said one and a half from Leonard's.
Yeah. It's not very good according to him.
Year 2000.
Filmed in Toronto.
It's supposed to be New York.
That's nothing.
I also said the lead actor gives a dynamic performance.
And I also said...
Did I mention the unrated version?
And it was followed by a directed video sequel.
Those are great clues.
Doug did a face.
I don't know if I can do this.
Face time.
I think I have to pass that.
So it's now to me for five.
Yeah, you can go four.
You can say three.
I know you're just going to send it back to me.
You can say two.
There's no way.
I don't know.
I don't know what JP would do with that.
What am I at? I know.
Four.
I said five.
He's going to get
five out of nine if you say name it.
I'm going to send it to you for
four or for three now?
No, you're saying four.
You're saying four.
Name it in four.
I would like you to hear four actors' names.
This is crazy, man.
Yeah, you predicted your own undoing.
Dynamic performance.
Yeah.
Here's your four names.
Maybe those will help.
Oh, I could ask him to name it?
Yeah.
I'll give you the four names.
Okay.
He just asked you to name it.
No, I know.
It's on you.
I understand.
Okay.
Please tell me the four names.
Where are your glasses?
You should have asked me to name it.
I don't need them.
I only need them for eights and sixes.
Does your phone need glasses?
Really?
Mm-hmm.
That's adorable.
What about a double?
Why is your failing eye so cute?
I don't wear the glasses.
My phone does.
Matt Ross.
I did put my glasses on the phone. I know you did phone Genevieve Turner's in this movie fantastic mm-hmm Justin Theroux okay mr. Jennifer Aniston well yeah okay
so no there isn't no Jennifer Aniston is not in this nor does she go by mr.
Jennifer Aniston and Chloe Chloe Saveny.
Chloe Saveny, yeah.
The often naked Chloe Saveny.
How many names was that?
Three?
That's your four names.
That's my four?
I thought that was three.
Quickly again, please.
I'm so sorry.
You get four, and Matt Ross does not matter.
Okay, yeah.
Genevieve Turner, that's a good clue, I think.
Oh, man, if Matt Ross was at home listening to this.
What?
That really hurt.
Yeah.
Oh, sorry, Matt Ross. He's going to strap on the tightest headband he can find.
Play along with the ride.
Justin Theroux and?
Chloe Sevigny.
Sevigny.
Dynamic performance.
We're out of time.
Okay.
Straight to DVD.
There's no way this is even it,
but I'm going to say Liar Liar.
I know it's a dumb one.
Any answer that's wrong
could be considered a dumb answer.
So don't feel bad.
Because, you know.
I don't feel bad.
It seems like they probably did that.
They probably shot that here.
I'm thinking Dynamic Performance.
There could have been a sequel I'm unaware of that was unrated.
You know, they go mental with the sequels.
Yeah.
They just, no ratings.
He's just lying about sexual diseases.
2000, does that even make sense?
Yeah, it does.
Liar, liar.
Okay, good answer.
It's wrong.
The correct answer is American Psycho.
Yeah.
And I think I just did this movie
on the show recently because the word turgid
is in the review.
We had a long discussion about turgid before.
But right on
schedule, our winner is J.P. Manu.
J.P.
By default.
Great job.
Never had to answer a question.
Good for you.
Defense.
Let me get all the name tags.
There were, I don't want to say losers.
Let's just call you donut stompers.
And can I have yours too there, Brody?
Shit, this is unwieldy.
No, I got it.
And then, thanks, John.
And then the person who won all this stuff, what's the name again?
Jesse Usher.
Jesse.
Jumanji.
Can you come try to take all of it?
Do you have a team of people that can help you carry away your glorious bounty?
Can Jesse have that back?
Any items you don't want,
just feel free to leave them on the stage.
Jesse, if you don't want the pass.
But you can have it.
You can have it.
Are you a Blue Jays fan, Jesse?
Do you want Brody to have that?
He wants Brody to have it back, you guys.
Thank you.
It meant a lot to me.
Joey Batts and I have the same beard.
I like when that little boy has the girl behind him the baseball.
Thank you for giving it back to me, Jesse.
Thank you, John.
Sorry for putting the mic in front of the speaker.
No worries.
What a pro.
Anything, uh, anything?
No, don't do it again.
Anything to plug, John Doerr?
Um, I always like to, yeah,
go to PearlJam.com.
They got some great stuff going on.
Trying to help the independent scene a little bit.
Check them out.
Go ahead.
Mark forward. Still with us.
Still alive.
Headband and all.
When does it come off? Like at the very end?
No, I'm going to wear it.
To your other shows?
I'm going to wear it to my other shows tonight.
Finishing off at 11pm.
That's a performer, man.
And I'm not going to mention it to the other crowds.
You could slip it off while Meatballs is playing.
No one would know.
Do you know Pete Holmes
uses a vaporizer
between shows?
Like a dehumidifier?
Oh, a dehumidifier.
I thought you were
trying to out him
as a podcast.
A humidifier between shows.
Oh, that's interesting.
It is very interesting.
So you gotta keep
your voice annoying
if you're Pete Holmes.
Yeah!
You can just check out my podcast
Mark Forward Podcast
Mark Forward Podcast on iTunes
Brody Stevens
likes to podcast
Yeah, I don't do it consistently enough
but would you like me to promote something?
Yeah, whatever you like
Yeah, you're right
Even though you have a tight headband on
you realize what's going on right now
I'm currently on an American television show
With David Spade and Nick Swartzen
And Chuck Liddell
And Turtle from Entourage
What's it called?
Fox Sports Fantasy Football Uncensored
I don't know if it's available here
But it's a fun show
We do it all week through the football season
And it's a good time
being up there with the guys.
Sounds fun. I'd watch that.
It's on once a week.
I don't give a shit about the game, but I'd watch that.
Sounds fun.
The game.
JP, what's going on, man? Your show is coming back.
Yeah, we're going to start working on Season 2 of Spun
Out on CTV next
week. You can see
episodes from season one
if you go to ctv.ca.
Maybe they rerun on Comedy Channel right now.
Or if you fly Air Canada,
we're part of the in-flight entertainment.
Me and Wayne Gretzky watched it.
I begged two Australian girls
sitting next to me to sample this.
Hey, try this out.
They're like, thanks.
You tried to get them to watch your show on the air?
Yeah, while I was sitting next to them,
and then it got creepy where I was like,
it's this easy, just hit the button.
JP Manu, never desperate.
I don't think this shithead's going to go over well.
One more round of applause
for all of my guests, you guys.
J.P. Manu, Brody Stevens,
Mark Forward, and John Dore.
All right, as always,
that guy wearing a bowler hat on the TTC
who wouldn't move his bag off the seat next to him
is a shithead.
Topical. Topical.
Griffin's friend Steve is a shithead.
Yes!
And this is a double, which I don't like permitting but I think I have to just to just because of the reaction of this first one the
Toronto Blue Jays are a shithead too soon
but at least this guy picks his battles.
And my printer for running out of ink.
It's a shit head.
Now it's time for Doug to watch a gun.
Dougie, eyes of gold, his viewing crowd was big.
Tim, Pocky, there's no room in his heart for you.
Because Doug, Doug, Dougie's.