Doug Loves Movies - Jon Hamm, Kumail Nanjiani and Max Landis guest
Episode Date: September 23, 2015Live from the NerdMelt Showroom, Doug welcomes Jon Hamm, Kumail Nanjiani and Max Landis to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://...art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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build it beautiful Because Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey everybody
My name is Doug
And I love movies.
And I love movies.
Beautiful.
Build it beautiful.
Coming to you once again from the Nerd Melt showroom
in the back of Meltdown Comics in Hollywood.
It's Tuesday, September 22nd, 2015.
Let me see your
name tags, LA.
I know you brought some.
Usually in the front few rows.
A picture of Zach Galifianakis
dressed as Annie.
Does not count as a name tag.
I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
Maggie and
Demen... Maggie
B. Dementor?
What? Maggie?
Okay Maggie
Don't get mad at me because you have a weird name
Purple Rain Nick?
Okay if you say so
Ron Funches and Ed Woody
A Doug Benson joint
That's a nice piece of artwork you made.
You guys know each other?
Two guys did hand-drawn...
Oh, he did all of it.
Okay, that explains a lot.
Joey's apartment.
One cat, one tranny, no AC.
Okay, first of all, they don't like to be called that.
They prefer feline.
They prefer feline.
I'm in charge of twists.
This podcast will come out tomorrow,
but Hannah Keyshot first.
That's a good one.
This podcast comes out tomorrow,
but I'm on At Midnight tonight, and this week it's on at 11,
so super confusing.
Watch me on at midnight at 11
Eastern and Pacific
10 p.m.
Central and Mountain.
At midnight.
Yeah, what are you going to do?
But you guys will get home in plenty of time.
Tomorrow I'm off to Austin, Texas
for a fantastic fest.
If you have a badge for the festival,
be sure to check out Doug Loves Movies
on Friday, my screening of Chronicon
next week, and my movie interruption
of Roar, one of the most
fucked up movies ever made.
Saturday, October 3rd
at 4.20, Doug Loves Movies returns
to the Queen Elizabeth Theatre.
Doesn't that sound fancy?
In Toronto, Canada as part of the
Just for Laughs Festival.
Get a ticket to my show or a festival badge
and come check it out.
Links are at DougLovesMovies.com
That's DougLovesMovies.com
Next Los Angeles
Doug Loves Movies taping is
Tuesday, October 13th right here
at Nerd Melt.
And we're doing another one the next
very next night, Wednesday,
October 14th at
UCB. I brought
a prize box tonight
you guys.
Yeah, I'm not fucking
around. I got a lot of stuff
that I want you guys to have.
And it's already on the side of the box
because I used the box that they sent me all of
these in. We've got
schmovie!
Someone's gonna win a fucking
schmovie.
We also got
some
Estee Lauder Pleasures
for Men.
I don't know what that does.
I've never cracked that open.
It's been sitting in my medicine cabinet.
We got it from our friends at Volcano.
We've got a little herb mill,
a.k.a. Grinder.
I don't know why they had to give it a fancy title.
It's basically a grinder.
Oh, here's another grinder.
Somebody's going to be grinder Oh, here's another grinder. Somebody's gonna be grinder crazy.
There's another one.
And also, what is this?
Another pleasures for men.
I don't know how many...
This one's more of a...
Let's see how it smelly smells.
It's like completely scentless. Oh, no, I take it back. smelly smells.
It's like completely scentless.
Oh, no, I take it back.
Oh, no, I'm in a nightclub.
Oh, wow,
I took way too big a hit of that.
That's gonna
give me a headache.
Oh, God, I apologize
to my guests ahead of time.
Yeah, and the people in the front row.
Probably the second row, too.
Since I was at it at midnight,
I brought some delusious cookies that they gave me
that I'll never eat.
So you guys get them.
This is pretty cool,
like kind of a 3-D picture book
from the Taylor Swift 1989 world tour.
Yeah.
What am I going to do with that besides make people
think I'm a creep if they come over
and it's prominently displayed.
A t-shirt and a lighter from
Chameleon Glass. A book.
Several books. I brought three books.
Trash, the graphic
genius of exploitation movie
posters. looks like a
fun book that I've had but never read understanding marijuana a new look at
the scientific evidence so that's good it's good that there's evidence. Oh! Aquavelva Ice Sport for people who are into ice sports,
I guess. And this is just for me, you guys. The guests also brought stuff to put
into the prize box. This was given to me in this very venue, I don't know how long
ago, but it's kind of a cool art picture book by Alex Gross called Discrepancies.
And so that's going in the box.
All of that is in the box, plus what my guests brought.
And I think they're good guests, so I think they brought good stuff.
Please give a big, warm welcome to Max Landis, Kumail Nanjiani, and Jon Hamm.
Jon Hamm!
Right? Can you believe it?
I can't believe it myself.
Hot after Jon Hamm's Emmy win,
we've got Max Landis.
I feel like I should be in the audience.
We made it happen.
Let's hear it for our first-time guest, Max Landis, everybody.
Known Max for a little while, for a minute.
And, you know, nice guy. And a couple times he said to me, when am I going to be on Douglas movies?
And the answer, of course, is right now.
Now it's happening.
But part of the impetus for me to reach out to you is how much I enjoyed American Ultra, which you wrote.
Thank you so much for saying that, Max.
You're welcome very much.
Did you guys see it?
Yes. And those of you who saw it loved it. The rest of you were like,
I don't go to movies with two
really pouty actors in the lead roles.
I think the rest of the audience
trusted Rotten Tomatoes a little too much.
What did Rotten Tomatoes, what did it
finally come in at? Like 50s?
50, which is the same as True Romance would have
gotten. I think so. I agree because
I think that... Wait, did you say what True Romance would have gotten. I think so. I agree because I think that you're going to-
Wait, did you say what True Romance would have gotten?
Yeah, True Romance opened to really mixed reviews.
It got mainly negative reviews.
I mean, I could go through all of them
and it's super violent.
Oh, I see.
Right, and it's super violent.
I mean, there were rotten tomatoes.
But not.com.
But that's what I was going to say
is there's a certain segment of critics
like our friend Leonard Maltin probably didn't love it but not.com. But that's what I was going to say. There's a certain segment of critics,
like our friend Leonard Maltin probably didn't love it because it's extremely violent.
And also I think got unfortunately released
when the sort of,
we should really seriously look into gun control
in this country,
happened right before this movie
where a stoner is just killing the shit out of people
with guns.
So he uses other things, though.
He's creative.
Like, not since Denzel Washington
at Home Depot in the Equalizer
have I seen somebody fuck up more people
with random appliances that are in that kind of store.
It's a fake store in the movie, right?
It's a fake store.
What's it called?
It was originally called All Goods,
but the director changed it to Max Goods
without telling me.
And so I saw that,
and I went,
every motherfucker who sees this movie
and knows who I am
is going to think I did that
and think I'm an asshole.
Yeah, you totally.
Why didn't you call it Landis Goods?
Why didn't I call it Max Landis,
the writer of this movie,
this store, and this movie, right now, this scene?
And that's a holding sign.
You've got to throw goods in.
Goods.
I don't know.
It was one of those moments where he turned to me and he went,
you know those moments where someone thinks they did you a favor?
And you go, you didn't just do me a favor.
But they're looking at you like this.
And you go like this.
I know you're used to working in a visual medium but none of the listeners can see that face you made
it was an over the shoulder creepy smile
let's say hi to Kumail Nanjiani
thank you
thank you, thank you.
Now, you host a program, a podcast,
about the X-Files, X-Files Files.
Mm-hmm.
And you are going to appear
in one of the episodes of the new series of X-Files.
Yes.
Right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, kudos for figuring out that
sneaky way in.
Yeah, my next podcast is called
Marrying Jennifer Lawrence Files.
Well, mine's called Douglas Movies, so
note to Hollywood, I'm gonna be in
every movie from now on.
Thank you very much.
And Kumail also is going to be,
I'm going to be at Fantastic Fest in Austin,
but second year in a row,
he and Jonah Ray are going to do
an episode of The Meltdown at the festival.
Yeah, I'm excited.
I just went and made my list of all the movies I'm going to see.
There's like some great stuff.
Because you're there for a few days.
Yeah, I'm there for a few days.
There's one movie, I forget if it's Swedish or something,
it's called Brand New Testament,
and the description said,
God is a dude who lives in Sweden
and controls the world through a computer
that runs Windows 98.
And I was like, I have to see this movie.
That sounds amazing.
That does sound fantastic.
They show some really, like, it's funny,
American Ultra would be like a perfect movie for Fantastic Fest
because they show a lot of stuff that's very highbrow
and insanely violent at the same time.
Simultaneously.
Yeah, I saw one, I forget what what it was called but this prostitute gets killed
and her soul goes into a gun and then the gun goes to different owners and she
as the gun it was schindler's list that is what it was called the girl with the red dress yeah
yeah okay i mean i didn't see most of it,
but I think that was what it was.
Yeah, I slept through Schindler's List.
I was like, I know how this ends.
You know how...
You know how you're ashamed of a sentence
halfway through it?
You still have to grammatically finish it.
Jon Hamm is here, you guys.
And I don't like to make assumptions, but I'm pretty
sure that he's going to put his
Emmy in the prize box.
Nope.
No, I, not.
That's a dangerous thing to have around the house
as we learned from that scene where
who got impaled with one during the awards?
Who? Jerry
from Parks and Rec.
Dude from Parks and Rec.
Jim O'Hare. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And that Emmy's was
I mean, it wasn't only just great
to see John finally get his due,
but as an audience member, at least you were having fun, right?
Because Scott Aukerman was behind the scenes coming up with a lot of that stuff that happened.
Scott wrote a lot of the stuff. Andy was great as the host.
The show moved quickly, so we got to get in and out, and yeah.
Yeah, it was actually funny.
I went last year for the first time
and was so excited.
And then three hours in,
I left and just hung out upstairs for a while
because it's in the room.
You know it's three hours long, right?
Oh, okay.
I felt like everybody was leaving then.
I guess that makes sense.
I think they all left, yes,
because it was over.
They gave out the best drama award.
I mean, it was so bad.
As soon as it was over, I left and
just went and partied.
Because I'll give the Emmys that.
Like, they hit the three-hour
mark, because then, you know,
on the West Coast, you can watch it at five
o'clock, and then it starts again right away
at eight o'clock. So I watched Andy Samberg's
like, that opening pre-taped
song is amazing. It's amazing.
It's so much fun
to watch that a couple of times.
And I don't
know what else I was going to... I had some other
point I was going to try to make, but this is
Doug Love's movies, not Doug Love's TV
award shows.
Unless it's the Oscars!
That's not a TV
award show. That's a TV award show.
That's a movie award show.
Nice.
Who said nice?
It's on TV, though.
I have a new nemesis.
It's the guy in the Bill Murray shirt. It felt like Bill Murray was heckling me.
Well, John, of course, is going to someday compete
in the Super Duper Tournament of Championships
in the Leonard Maltin game
against Sam the Mam and Matt Myra.
But in the meantime, today,
we get to find out how he is at Reverse Maltin.
Oh, wow. I'm not familiar with that
well you're gonna be familiar with it because you're gonna play it in a little while oh okay
what did you bring for the prize bag john ham uh i brought uh because hockey season is upon us
i brought a st louis blues hat because I'm from St. Louis,
and they're a team in the National Hockey League.
And then you can attach to it and document your hockey games.
I brought a GoPro.
So you can stick that on your hat.
Please put that in the box.
Hat head.
Gently.
Just put it in your thing.
There it goes.
Great prizes.
Here's what I was going to say about the Emmys.
They show clips at the beginning
to make the three-hour cutoff.
They show clips early on in the show
of performances and stuff.
And then at the end, when it's the big awards,
they just list off the names and then give out the award.
That's right.
It's very oddly lopsided.
And it's also like for the best director,
best comedy director, they just had to make short films. And I was very confused at the end. They just said one person's name and I was like, oh wait, that was the award?
Because it was just like little bits that they did. I have issues.
What did you bring for the bag?
I thank you for saving me. I brought, my wife, Emily Gordon,
wrote a book.
It's her book.
It's called Super You.
It's not even out yet.
Wow.
Isn't that cool?
Wow.
Save your energy,
everybody.
It's like,
you're in the future.
It comes out September 30th.
Get it on Amazon or support a local bookstore. Do that instead. But're in the future. It comes out September 30th, get it on Amazon
or support a local bookstore, do that instead.
But that's the book, Emily V. Gordon, Super You.
Have you ever written a book?
I've barely read a book.
Well, if you write one, we'll have Emily come on the show
and give away your book.
Only seems fair.
Is that the only way she'll ever be on the show?
Because then she's never gonna be on the show? Because then she's never going to be on the show.
No, I'll have her on anyway.
Max, what'd you bring?
Oh, wait, you got more?
No.
Trying to get over the...
What's that other thing you were holding?
It's just garbage.
Okay.
Put it in the box.
Some of my stuff wasn't that good.
Get it in there, yeah.
Max, what do you got? i was trying to decide on something and at home
i had a i had an action figure from the really really terrible but also kind of great in its way
movie the the the phantom with billy zane and and i was like only people in the back of the room like
that i gotta say if you've ever seen that movie,
it's a piece of shit,
but it has one of the most incredible stunts
I've ever seen,
and occasionally a bunch of really good jokes,
so you watch it with this weird look on your face
where you don't know what's happening
or if you like the movie,
and then afterwards you go,
uh-huh, like that.
I remember liking that movie.
Yeah, it's kind of weirdly it's it there's
something about it but i i forgot that at home and then i got here and i went oh they have an
action figure from the critically underrated actually kind of really good companion piece
to the phantom the shadow uh and like baldwin right alec baldwin in the shadow uh which is
actually tim curry's in that
it's it's kind of a kind of a actually a good movie and so i i got this i was born in the shadow
oh just throw that oh no it fell out there you go thank you so much so helpful i tell you
with a sling on your arm i tell you man, being on this with people who are actually charismatic and quick and
funny, I feel like... Thank you very much.
I feel like
this is like the ultimate emperor's
new clothes situation for me. I feel
naked. I'm just being quiet like...
Wait, this is you
being quiet?
I'm joking. We're all
in this together. I didn't know... We're all in this together.
I didn't know how to...
We're all in this together,
except if you say something dumb around Kumail.
Then he will tear you apart as quickly as possible.
It's beautiful.
John, I know you've been busy winning an award.
That took like 30 seconds.
It doesn't keep you that busy.
That took a whole weekend, I bet, winning that award.
You had to do a lot of stuff.
Nope, just literally climb up on the stage and get it.
One should have called you.
Yeah, you should have.
That's a lot.
I was like, he's busy.
It's Emmy weekend.
Nope.
Free as a bird.
Nothing going on.
Don't you think Tina Fey likes you the best of all the nominees
and would have said your name anyway?
I did check.
It was weird that you had a friend presenting you the award.
I literally did double check.
Because Jimmy Kimmel did that bit,
but isn't there a story at the Oscars?
Yeah, the Marissa Tomei story,
which was sort of like someone said,
like, oh, Jack Palance or somebody read the wrong name or read the prompter wrong.
Is that real, you think?
No.
Was it an accident or a hijacking, supposedly?
Well, from what I heard, they just said the wrong name, and then, but I don't know.
Yeah, but I think that's just something that's spread by people.
Like, she gave, like, a light comedic performance in that movie and i think did a terrific job but like she was up against like four four i believe all british actresses yeah
i don't think anybody else so it might have been one of those ones where she just yeah she just
squeaked it out like yeah like everybody got a lot of votes but she got the most so i don't think
that's a lie and then she's always been so great ever since that I, you know, I wish that people would stop saying that.
I didn't say...
I think she's a good actress.
I think she's great.
And my cousin Vinny's great.
And I don't know why John would say something like that.
Emmy winner John Hamm just taking down Marissa Tomei a notch for no goddamn reason.
Why does he go after everyone? He thinks he can take down... winner oh it's not as valid as
your win is all of these things that you're saying are true so what have you
been to the movies John I saw the new home I saw I actually saw I went to the
movies today I saw the new Tyler Perry holiday movie, Blackmas.
I don't think Blackmas is that.
Wave.
I don't think Tyler Perry presents Blackmas. It took a weird turn.
I was surprised.
They're all in white face in this one, right?
It was very weird.
I thought it was a lot more Boston in it
than I thought there really should be,
but it held together.
It was one of the weirder of his oeuvre.
But, I mean, I enjoyed it.
Did you? Is it good?
First Tyler Perry movie.
It's probably the best Tyler Perry movie.
Yeah, I think.
What about you, Kumail?
Have you seen anything lately?
I haven't seen anything in a while,
but I will mention this video game only
because it's more of an interactive movie
that I feel like hasn't been getting enough attention.
It's called Until Dawn,
and it's like a slasher movie that you can play,
and it's really fucking great.
And if you like video games,
it is a Doug Love interactive movie.
I will not accept that as an answer.
Oh, God.
I would like to replace you
with your wife, Emily.
What?
I got into watching
like 80s body horror movies
recently.
Fuck yeah, dude.
So I watched
one called Society.
That's fucking crazy.
Again,
the back of the room favorite.
And I will say
anyone who loves that movie
is terrifying.
It's a great movie. I'm joking. And I will say, anyone who loves that movie is terrifying. It's a great movie, I'm joking.
Society I saw, I saw From Beyond,
I saw Reanimator,
I saw a bunch of these
sort of Cronenbergian
Did you do Dead Ringers?
I haven't gotten to Dead Ringers yet.
It's so fucking good.
Yeah, it's really Cronenbergian.
Because he made it.
It's Tyler Perry's
second best movie
Tyler Perry's
Dead Ringers
uh
kinda works
starring Cuba Gooding Jr
and Cuba Gooding Jr
I would pay so much money
to see him play twins
in something
what about you Max
have you uh
been to the cinema?
Yeah, I was just at Toronto Film Festival.
Ooh.
Ooh.
Toronto, the fanciest, most hoity-toity city in the world.
I was at TIFF.
But for my...
The only international film festival
named after kind of a fight.
Oh, so you have never been
to the Melee Festival in France?
Yeah.
You have never been to Skirmish?
It happens in Bosnia all the time.
But yeah, while I was
you guys ever witnessed a public execution
but no I
I saw a movie called Anomalisa
oh
Charlie Kaufman movie right
animated
it's stop motion.
And holy fucking shit.
What the?
Oh, my God.
It's amazing.
What a surprise.
And it was really funny because my movie was closing the festival.
And so I went to see it.
Yeah, closing the festival forever.
Your movie shut down TIFF?
Yeah.
What else is left?
Take your movies
to skirmish.
But I was just like,
I was still thinking
about Anomalisa.
Is Anomalisa,
what's the most basic,
what is it about?
It's about a person
who has a condition
where,
I don't want to spoil anything, it's super Kaufman-y and really good, but it's about a person who has a condition where I don't want to spoil anything.
It's super company and really good,
but it's about a person who has a condition where everyone they meet is the
same person.
Oh,
that's not,
and it's like,
and you,
you hear that premise and you go,
Oh,
so it's probably like this.
And no matter what you're thinking,
unless you're Charlie Kaufman,
it's not like that.
It's such a specific,
brilliant thing. And it just, you know Charlie Kaufman, it's not like that. It's such a specific, brilliant thing.
And it just, you know, as a screenwriter, it just makes my dick shrink up into my body to watch his movies.
And just, it's so fucking good.
Is that a good image?
Is that evocative?
At least you know what to do if you're in a situation where it's probably not a good idea to have your dick way outside your body.
where it's probably not a good idea to have your dick way outside your body.
Just think of that movie
when you're walking by a preschool
and you'll be fine.
So...
Wait, is it against the law
to walk by a preschool
if you have a really big dick?
Not if it's all shrink up inside you.
If it's all turtling inside you,
you should be...
There are signs around preschools
with a guy's dick retracting into his body.
Please retract dick while walking by
preschool. There's a school right
over here. I get a little bit of a boner every time
I walk by. That's not
what we were saying, Doug.
Because there's a big sign
that says Michael Jackson Auditorium.
That whole idea
sort of turns me on.
But...
Alright, give it an edit point.
Yeah.
We'll take that out. Don't worry about it.
But Max,
tell us about your film that closed
the Toronto International Film Festival.
Forever.
What was that?
I wasn't aware of it.
Yeah, I suppose I didn't win an Emmy and my wife doesn't have a book.
My wife.
I have a movie called...
I wrote a movie.
One of my movies is called Mr. Right.
It's an independent movie.
It's Sam Rockwell and Anna Kendrick.
movie one of my movies uh is called mr right it's an independent movie it's sam rockwell and enna kendrick and uh it has a very familiar premise which is a girl falls in love with a hitman
but the fundamental premise of the movie is broken because both of the characters are basically
brain damaged they're total fuck up weirdo train wrecks and the hitman has started to do a thing
where he had a nervous breakdown and now he kills people who hire him because murder is wrong and so it's kind of a flawed
philosophy but really kendrick's the star of the movie rockwell's amazing there's dance fighting in
it uh if you like sam rockwell dancing it's basically the movie inspired by sam rockwell
dancing youtube compilations yeah he dances in everything. This is the Sam Rockwell dance movie.
Like, during gunfights and stuff like that.
And it's super fucking weird.
And I guarantee people will,
some people will really love it,
and other people will be like,
what the fuck is this?
But Closing Night in Toronto, so that's a...
Oh yeah, people like it, yeah.
That's a sign of approval for sure.
When do we get to see it?
I don't know.
We sold it to Focus Features at Toronto,
which was really exciting for me because, you know.
I don't have any bits right now.
I don't have any bits.
They're all shrunken up into my body.
Yeah, that's the movie.
Cool.
I saw San Andreas last night.
Yeah, that's all I need to say about that.
No, more.
That's the worst Tyler Perry movie I hear.
Tyler Perry's San Andreas?
I'm actually very curious about San Andreas.
I was going to see it, and then I just didn't.
Well, you know, it's one of those movies
where all of California,
millions of people die during the movie, but it's one of those movies where all of california millions of people die
during the movie but it's pg-13 or whatever so you don't really you don't see any of them dying
you just see massive buildings falling over and just assume they were full of people and um
and it's just horrible and then uh it concentrates on uh the rock and his wife and their kids.
Of course, they're in the middle of a separation at the start of the story, him and his wife, Carla Gugino.
And so it's one of those movies where it takes this epic, insane thing that might happen
and then makes it just about four or five people and whether or not they get out alive.
Who cares about millions of people?
What if that whole movie was just like, why did The Rock and Carla Gugino's
marriage fall apart?
Like there, the fault was in
their marriage.
And they were just like, wow, this is like
epic, this dissolution
of this relationship. Yeah, it's about
It's like an earthquake that hit our family
and it was only that.
It's about the shattering of love.
Is it?
I mean, maybe it is.
I haven't seen it.
Do they talk a lot about...
You know he fucking saves her a lot.
I don't have to tell you that.
Does he...
I feel like that's a 90s thing.
Does the couple that's getting divorced
for implied legit sincere emotional relationship issues
get back together at the end
because shit blew up.
I don't know, screenwriter man.
Get off my back.
Die hard.
It's like every movie in the 90s was like,
we're getting a divorce.
Oh, everyone we know is dead.
We'll stay together.
That feels like actually a right thing to do
in that moment.
Especially given that when there's a disaster thing to do in that moment.
Especially given that when there's like a disaster of that report,
there really aren't that many people left.
You're kind of like, well, I guess you'll do.
Imagine if it was like War of the Roses,
and after going through this terrible traumatic experience, they still just fucking hate each other.
Nope, we are not getting that.
And both die.
I would have enjoyed that.
The ending they have is fine enough, I guess.
Is there like a big fun line at the end
where he says like traffic was a bitch or something?
Was it like...
That is a big fun line.
I think it was in the player.
I think I'm stealing that
But I still
I think The Rock says
To his divorce
His almost ex-wife
He's like
We might as well
Not get a divorce
Because
All of my shit
Is gone anyway
So
You'd be getting
Half of nothing
So let's stay together
I have heard...
There's no sex scenes, just a smooch.
I've heard it ends with
them surveying the damage and one person
says, what happens now? And the other person
says, now we
rebuild. And then they raise an American
flag? Is that what happens?
Oh God, I hope that's real.
The rock just pulls a hammer
out of his back pocket.
Let's get to work.
Rock, you're just destroying more stuff with a hammer.
That's the one tool we don't need.
Well, now, folks, is a time in the show when I say,
let the games begin.
Got a lot of good ones to choose from tonight, you guys.
Gentlemen, pick your name tags.
Go physically grab the name tag you'd like to play for tonight.
There's some good ones in the back over there.
This guy's pitching himself pretty hard. And while they do that, we'll do this. We'll be right back.
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Yeah, all of that was during the commercial.
All that hilarity isn't even going to be the podcast John him what did you pick and why didn't you pick the
poster this is minions on it because I didn't see it but I picked a picture of
Zachary Galifianakari in a dress in a little orphan Annie I'll say any dress
that looks like it was taken or signed at least by Don Draper, but it's not.
But it really does look like
my signature
when I signed
that character's name.
And it's an adorable photo
and somebody,
it looks like it's expensive,
so I figured,
I'm taking this.
Where'd you get that from?
Did you steal it
off a wall somewhere?
No, it's shot by a...
Okay, boring story.
I fell for it.
You know the photographer?
Okay, cool. All right, Kumail. I fell for it. You know the photographer? Okay, cool.
All right, Kumail.
I got one that says Demolition Manthony,
and it stars Doug Benson and Jon Hamm.
Did you know that he was going to be on the show?
You guessed that Hamm would be here?
I gave a hint on Twitter.
I gave a hint on Twitter.
A twint?
Yeah.
What was your hint?
I think I said that we're going to have somebody
that finally got the fucking Emmy they deserve.
Yeah, it finally happened.
It wasn't like, James Pork is going to be on.
So sorry.
Wow.
I'm so sorry.
That's some good Mad Magazine.
I feel really horrible.
Mad Magazine. I can really horrible. Mad Magazine.
I can tell because you just kind of look down.
Yeah.
And I saw your face on this judging me.
Double judge.
Double judge.
Ah!
I texted Zach one time that Jon Hamm was going to be somewhere that we were both going to,
and then Zach texted back, is he catering?
Because his name is Ham.
And I was.
Get it? Ham.
It's a Ham joke.
What do you got there?
I've seen this one on Twitter today, Max.
I'm just sort of generally a stupid person
and I saw that it had a light on it
and I went, okay, it says,
Meggie be demented, I assume,
as a reference to Cecil be demented.
Oh, I didn't see it on Twitter.
I saw it right there in the audience a few minutes ago.
I have the same problem having trouble distinguishing Twitter from real life.
Fave.
Mute.
So, Meggie is her name.
You don't say it wrong
and she'll jump all over your ass.
My name's Megan.
I actually don't use Twitter.
Megan?
And you don't, you don't...
Are you judging us right now?
Yeah, what's happening?
You think you're fucking better than me?
No, I don't.
I just do psychic
and I don't know what I do.
My name's Megan
and I don't use Twitter.
Eh.
Yeah.
Blocked.
That's what it's there for.
It's there to be used.
That is pretty awesome.
Yeah, I just went like,
oh, that looks more impressive than Kamal's.
Sorry, Anthony.
We'll have to, if Max doesn't win tonight,
we'll have to get a shithead from you, Megan.
You didn't write it on the back.
Did you tweet it?
Oh, wait, you don't use Twitter.
Yeah, if you were on Twitter, you'd know.
You don't have a computer.
All right, well, now.
Wait, are you serious?
Are you Amish?
Be honest.
You don't have a computer?
I clearly didn't print that out.
Yeah, but you can...
You have a phone,
which is a tiny computer
that fits in your pocket
that we all have
and have for 10 years now.
People with computers
can't make things?
What is the implication?
Wait, you don't have a computer?
I feel really sad for you.
Why don't you have a computer,
Maggie?
I forgot. Maggie, come back next a computer, Maggie? I forgot.
Maggie, come back next week, and we'll all pitch in.
Yeah.
And we'll get you a computer.
Windows 98.
Get her a Dell.
We'll get you God's old computer.
Everyone to use computers, because it's really,
it's his bread and butter right now.
Do you think it's like a fad that's going to pass?
That's like, remember when people used to say,
I don't have a cell phone, and then feel good about that?
Yeah.
So proud of themselves.
Yeah, I was one of those people.
I didn't have a cell phone for a long time.
Man, you were so cool.
I was.
I was like the Meggie of 2002.
All right, you guys.
Good job picking name tags,
and thank you, everybody, for bringing your name tags.
And let's start the games with a new one
that I like to call cable billing.
Cable billing.
Because my stupid cable company
and many other cable companies,
just when they're doing a listing for a motion picture,
a famous motion picture,
they will list two actors
that are not necessarily the leads of the film
and act like that makes any sense whatsoever.
For example, on the last show that we played this game on,
the two names were Tom Skerritt and Matthew McConaughey,
who are, of course, the stars of Contact,
starring Jodie Foster.
That's great.
Yeah.
So it happens all the time.
What happened, Max?
She got really excited fanning herself.
And it went flying.
It fell into the prize box.
And then she reached for it
and then looked at you like
oh he'll hit me
but seriously though
this is a better fan
use that
and I'll get the job done
but put it back in the box
when you're done
so I'm gonna name two actors
and you guys
just as soon as you think of it,
you can guess as many times as you want
until somebody gets it right.
Which movie the cable company thinks
these two people are the main attractions of?
What movie starred...
Contact.
Contact.
3-2-1 contact.
J.K. Simmons and Julia Roberts
what movie
Charlie Wilson's War
no
Mystic Pizza
no
Pretty Woman
no
Mrs. Pizza
no
contact
pizza contact
black mass contact
nope
nope
nope
nope
nope
J.K. Simmons and Julia Roberts.
So 90s.
I'll give you the year, 2001.
2001.
2001, Julia Roberts.
Someone already said Charlie Wilson's War,
which I feel like was around that time.
Right.
Runaway Bride.
No, that's 90s.
Oh, wow.
Okay, well.
I want to hear him say that again. So my best friend's wedding. No, that's 90s oh wow wait okay well i want to hear him say that again so my best friend's wedding no that's 90s one of them you should have a show called no that's 90s
that's so 90s satisfaction that's 80s right but you guys guess
more
I can't even
I've suddenly forgotten
every movie
Julia Roberts
has ever been in
I love this
it'll be great
if there was a stalemate
J.K. Simmons
and Julia Roberts
2001
stars of
Ocean's
One of the Oceans
oh
good call
no
J. No.
There's a guy back there guessing.
Shut the fuck up.
Aaron Brockovich?
Aaron Brockovich?
Aaron Brockovich?
No. That's not the right answer, so that's why I only got kind of mad about it.
I snuck it in.
Oh, oh, oh.
It was the one about the girl school.
Maybe.
Girl school of rock.
People are raising their hands.
Mona Lisa smile.
Mona Lisa smile.
Nope.
Damn it.
Yeah.
That was a good guess.
Spider-Man.
Nope.
That was a terrible guess.
Nick Hessebs is in it.
Isn't he?
Sure, but you know Julia Roberts is not.
I don't remember Spider-Man that well.
Nick, it wasn't in the 90s.
I take it all back.
We're going to be here for two and a half weeks.
I love it.
Whoever can get the right movie within the next 45 minutes.
I thought it was Mona Lisa's Smile.
The person that you played for is going to win the box.
Oh, no, that's too late.
It's not.
Okay.
That'd be so terrible if this was the only game we played.
And we just waited it out.
Wow.
Can we pick up?
I'll give you another clue.
Yes.
It has a name that should not be the name of any movie
starring J.K. Simmons and Julia Roberts.
Oh.
Because neither of them are what the title would imply.
The Quiet Man.
Dr. Butt Stuff
apparently you don't know
JK or
geez
yeah right
the Falcon or the Snowman
that actually
did not that hint did not help
I'm gonna give you yeah it's only the
kind of hint that when i say the movie you're gonna go oh yeah that made sense but uh it didn't
help um all right i'm gonna say one more name one more person in it i'm gonna give one more person
that's in it and then you're all gonna just suddenly shout it out so everybody watch and see who says it first. It's going to be a tight one.
Brad Pitt.
The Mexican?
Yes.
That's right.
They even should have released it with a question mark at the end.
The Mexican?
That was how I felt
while I was watching it.
Brad Pitt, Julia Roberts,
James Gandolfini,
the Mexican. Yeah Pitt, Julia Roberts, James Gandolfini, The Mexican.
Yeah, it was a really awful title
for what also was not a particular...
Detroit's favorite Mexican, J.K. Simmons.
Close as we got.
All right, so Max wins that game.
That means he gets to go first in the next game.
And we're going to play a little
Whose Tagline Is It Anyway? Oh, so he goes first. Yeah, Max gets to go first in the next game and we're gonna play a little whose tagline is it anyway oh so he goes first yeah max gets to go first then we'll come to you camille and i'm
just gonna say uh the tagline for a motion picture is probably on the poster or an ad or something
and uh max gets first shot at it but if he doesn't get the right guess, then it moves to Kamel and then to John.
Max, what movie
has the tagline
Welcome to the Bank Robbery
Capital of America?
It'd be funny if you said
Welcome to Jurassic Park.
Yes, which film
has the tagline
Welcome to Jurassic Park? that was in the 90s
the bank robbery you got something max welcome to the bank robbery capital of america
wow that's what i was is that the same guy different said Aaron Brockovich? No different guy
Why are you doing that?
Give me an out loud answer
Why you think you're supposed to yell out
The answer in this game
Trying to help
Get the fuck out of here
Just get up and leave
He really is
Did he leave?
He's really leaving
or he's really trying to help?
But that was...
I'm mad
because I was going to say the town
and now I have no idea
whether or not it was right
and that idiot is here.
Oh, it was totally right.
John knew.
That's what I would have said.
I was going to say the town too.
I was.
I swear.
I swear to God.
The tagline for the town too
was welcome back
to the back bank robbery capital. town, too, was welcome back to the back.
All right.
Make robbery capital of the world.
Well, please, whatever you do, go to a Jeopardy taping,
yell out an answer, and tell Axe Trebek you were helping.
The game show needs audience members to yell out answers.
Please make that a thing.
It makes you, as an answeree, it makes you feel really impotent.
Yeah.
It's very annoying.
You're annoying.
Believe me, I'm annoyed with it
every other episode of this show. Somebody
decides to just yell out an answer
and I don't know how to stop it.
Don't know what to do.
Shame apparently works.
Shaming works in that instance.
Maybe that guy will never do it again, but there'll be
some other asshole next time.
Do you want to give me a different one or just count me as being the right one?
No, I know how to host a show and move on.
Don't worry about it.
I'm just taking
a moment to try to get through people's
fucking thick heads. Are you a
listener to the podcast, sir?
He really
did leave.
He was just a guy looking for comic books
and wandered in here.
Welcome to the bank robbery
capital of America.
I'm in the town?
I was just buying
this nun mask.
Hey,
you're in the town.
I am in the town.
You're in the town.
That's a good movie.
Tyler Perry's third best movie.
All right, I got a new one for you, Max.
You ready?
If it's one I don't know now, I'll be so pissed off.
You didn't know that either.
I 100% did.
Okay, well.
I knew the town for sure.
I just saw it recently, five years ago.
Wasn't it great?
Well, that might be one way to keep people from yelling out the answers.
Just say it right away. There was like a moment where he had room to yell that out. five years ago. Wasn't it great? Well, that might be one way to keep people from yelling out the answers.
Just say it right away.
There was like a moment where he had room to yell that out.
But it wasn't that long a moment.
It was fast.
It was literally one second.
I went like this.
I went, the town.
Oh, Ham's in that.
And then, the town.
And I didn't even have time to make a joke.
That's okay.
It wouldn't have been funny.
Don't worry about it.
What movie has a tagline, Max?
Shut the fuck up.
A movie about a movie
they don't want you to see.
Oh, fuck.
A movie about a movie
they don't want you to see.
A movie about a movie they don't want you to see.
They don't want you to see it.
Any ideas?
Yeah, I have a lot of ideas, but no answers.
Give us one of your ideas
and see if that
pans out.
I think a funny answer would be the ring.
But that's not the answer.
Who doesn't want you to see the ring?
The videotape is haunted.
Right, but they want you to see it.
They want you to fall for it.
They clearly want you to see it.
That's right.
Max, come on, man.
Get it together, dude. Get, come on, man. Get it together, dude.
Let me...
Get the fuck out, Max.
Maybe, like, the producers know that's a play.
You already guessed something.
Oh, that was a joke.
I don't care.
Oh, okay.
Jokes count.
Just because it was a bad joke.
Yeah, no, it's like...
I'm like the TSA.
You mention a bomb, I'm going to jump.
Kumail, what is it?
It's not going to...
Lost in La Mancha?
Oh.
No, that's not right at all.
No.
John?
Is this also going to be a John Hamm movie?
Ooh, maybe. I don't know how this works.
Oh, motherfucker.
What do you got, Jon?
What do you think it is?
I don't have the right answer,
but I would say something like this movie is not yet rated,
but that's not right either.
No, that's not it.
It's a movie featuring Kumail Nanjiani called Sex Tape.
Oh.
Sex Tape.
Wow.
I'm sensing a trend.
Wow.
Shame on you, Camille.
Shame on you.
Yeah.
All right, so, uh...
Shit.
And you know what?
I think that tagline worked.
I can't avoid him.
He's fucking everywhere.
Did you see it, John?
No, I didn't.
It said it on the poster that I wanted to see it,
so I followed instructions.
No, it's about the movie within the movie.
It wasn't clear.
He's like, the stars don't want me to see this.
I'm going to do them a respect and the honor.
Better things to do.
You looked at the one of 100 billboards in L.A.
and went,
done.
There were a lot of billboards.
We'll start with Max again.
We had more billboards than audience members.
Did you have a big part in that?
No.
Small part.
Yeah.
I just knew you were in it.
You were probably on the cable listing.
The small part.
Yeah.
The cable listing said Kumail Nanjiani and Jason Segel in sex tape.
By the way, that'd be a pretty great sex tape.
I'd see that.
It wouldn't be that great.
He only has a small part.
Hey-o.
Listen, you guys, we're in a hurry.
Max has to get home and spackle more of his clothes.
I like that you waited like a Lestat.
Yeah, yeah.
Pour with him.
Get him to trust me.
On the red carpet.
Who are you wearing tonight?
Pollock.
All right, so...
Max, here's another...
Here's another...
Tagline.
Sex tape.
Did I get it?
Nope.
It's just Max gets to guess.
And only Max.
I see you want to guess.
What movie had the tagline,
Soak Harder?
Oh.
Soak Harder.
Makes sense.
Oh, God.
I wonder if it's a sequel.
Harder.
Use your microphone voice.
I wonder if it's a sequel.
It is.
I think John either figured it out
or is really good at messing with the other players.
Or both.
I was staring at his face
like I was trying to find it in his face.
You won't.
Yeah.
Those eyes aren't going to give anything away.
He already ripped on the box office receipts
of one of the four movies I'm in.
How many movies are you in?
Four.
Can you name them all?
Not now, maybe later.
Are we doing mean stuff?
So, Carter, Terminator 2.
You know that one. You know I like full titles.
Terminator 2 Judgment Day.
That's still incorrect.
That was in the 90s.
Kumail, what movie has the tagline So Carter?
You've got this.
You totally have this.
I'm so bad at this game.
I watch so many movies.
And I am so bad at this game. You've got mail and you've got this. You totally have this. I'm so bad at this game. I watch so many movies, and I am so bad at this game.
You've got Mayo, and you've got this.
I don't think he does.
So Carter.
Sure you do.
Is it So Carter or So Carter?
So Carter.
This movie is So Carter.
Coach Carter. Incorrect. John This movie is so Carter. Coach Carter.
Incorrect.
John?
Hot Tub Time Machine 2.
That's correct.
Fuck!
That sucks.
The Search for Curly's Goal.
Featuring Kumail Nanjiani.
I was weirdly... Terminator 2 is also a time travel movie.
I am in a time travel movie.
Oh my God, you're the worst.
So Kumail, now that we're done with that.
You're 0 for 2 on your own movies.
I would have got mine if some jackass had me yelled it out.
And to be fair, some jackass got mine.
Yeah, but your movie was very successful.
It sure was.
Critically and commercially successful.
Yeah, both.
I'm in movies that don't make a lot of money, but
the critics do hate them.
I'm joking. Both
those movies are great. Truly,
both those movies are great. Watch them.
What are you people doing? I just saw
you in the third of your fourth
movies, Hell Baby,
by the way. Yeah. Yeah, it was very funny.
What's the tagline of
Hell Baby? Baby from hell. I don't know. Yeah, it was very funny. What's the tagline of Hell Baby? Baby from hell.
I don't know.
Yeah, it might have been too
obvious a one.
But what was the fourth
movie, Kumail?
I don't remember.
I remember the tagline to it.
No, I don't.
Oh, I was in a Katherine Heigl
and Josh Duhamel movie.
Called?
It was called Life As We Know It.
People actually were like, aw, they felt bad for me.
Yeah, Life As We Know It is not a hit amongst most people.
I want to keep doing this, though.
Okay, let's go.
This is fun.
Yeah, all right. Here we go. So we'll start with Max again. I want to keep doing this though Okay let's go This is fun Yeah alright
Here we go
So we'll start with Max again
And uh
What movie has the tagline
They're not getting rich
They're getting even
Oh fuck
Is this a movie you're in?
No
That must be a movie I'm in
I love how John has narrowed it down
to none of his films.
It might be The Day the Earth Stood Still.
It might be We Were Soldiers.
They're not getting rich, they're getting what?
They're not getting...
They're getting even.
Is it Tower Heist?
No!
Not a bad guess, though.
Kumail?
They're not getting...
I'm just trying to think of movies I've been in.
Well, we've named three of them.
Yeah, we already...
That's it.
I can't think of the...
We named the four movies you're in, right?
Three of them.
Okay, so...
I just had to say Tower Heist out loud.
And excited, too.
Yeah.
Make a good ringtone.
John?
I don't know.
It's from a motion picture
made by the great John Landis
called Trading Places.
Oh, shit.
Oh, I wasn't even thinking back that far.
Oh, my God.
That's not 90s.
Okay.
You're going to get this next one.
You ready? Have you heard of that movie Pa You're gonna get this next one You ready?
Have you heard of that movie?
You're ready?
It paid for your college
Are you ready for the next one, Max?
It's a great movie
You're gonna get this one
Put the mic near your face
Don't make it so easy
Don't
I didn't say hit your face
with the mic
What movie is the tagline
Beware the moon?
That's American Werewolf in London
That's correct
Yes Very good is the tagline, Beware the Moon. That's American World of Finland. That's correct.
Yes.
Very good.
Spoon feed me ants.
This is the most nepotism I've ever
received on a game show
and you should all
be ashamed of me.
Okay, John.
You aren't already.
You must be.
I'm going to go
straight to John
with this one.
Why not me?
Okay.
All right, Kumail.
Kumail, you have a shot at it
and then John's gonna tell us the answer.
Sometimes to win
you have to change the game.
Oh, I know
this one. Really? Yes.
Million Dollar Arm. That's correct.
Fuck yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, baby.
Yes, that is correct.
Fuck yeah.
I auditioned for that movie. Did you?
Yeah, guess which part.
Asif's part.
Yeah, Asif's part.
I like that guy a lot. He's a good guy, right? Yeah, Asif Smart. Yeah, Asif Smart. I like that guy a lot.
He's a good guy, right?
Yeah, Asif is great.
Yeah, he's great.
But I cannot say the word Google or see the word Google without pronouncing it like he pronounces it repeatedly in the internship with Vince Vaughn, which is Goo-goo.
I love saying it that way.
That's what I love about the internship.
It's just so quotable
there are so many
great quotes
from the internship
with Vince Vaughn
I'm gonna look it up
on Google
Google
Google
is that a good movie
Doug?
I haven't seen it
I didn't mind it
it wasn't bad
it was funny
it's no Wedding Crashers
but it's
but it's almost
it's almost
it's got those same two guys
yep
lot less fucking though it's got a similar story I mean it's you. It's almost. It's got those same two guys. A lot less fucking though.
It's got a similar story?
I mean, it's, you know, it's very close to the...
You know, both of those guys have played serial killers
who were killed by Janine Garofalo.
Ooh.
I had never heard that Janine Garofalo
successfully killed a serial killer.
That's pretty awesome that she's done it twice.
Oh, she doesn't kill him in Clay Pigeons,
but she confronts him.
Okay, and then what does she kill Owen Wilson in?
Minus Man.
Oh, okay.
They came out like a year apart,
and it's the wedding crashers as serial killers
who have to fight police officer Janine Garofalo.
It's bizarre.
It's one of those facts.
Is it good?
Both of them are fucking awesome.
Clay Pigeons with Joaquin Phoenix.
I've seen Clay Pigeons.
It's great.
Yeah, and then the minus man
is Owen Wilson
as a serial killer
and it's wonderful.
Why was there a moment
where everyone was
all on board with
let's get Janine Garofalo
to play a cop?
Because wasn't she also
in Copland?
Yeah, I like Copland.
I didn't mind it.
It's just an odd
casting choice.
Not that there's anything
she wasn't particularly
good or bad in it.
She has that sort of
unfavorable movie.
Curious choice for three in a row. And she was on a season of 24 choice not that there's anything she wasn't particularly good or bad and she
was on a season of 24 as a someone in the law enforcement yeah I guess she's
just her thing man digs law enforcement she yeah she she dabbles on the side
with it do you guys remember when I guess million dollar arm. How cool is that?
So badass.
Maggie,
have you never had a computer?
Or is it at the shop?
Or do you not know
they exist
and you're just like,
how does everyone
know everything?
Oh, you can't?
Okay.
Saddest answer possible.
Suddenly we're very mean.
No, I just wanted to know.
Her brother has a computer.
Oh, my God.
He lets me use it
if I give him a handy.
Oh!
A handy wipe.
He eats a lot of barbecue, you guys.
Let him finish. Let him finish.
Let him finish.
He has to clean it off.
Just let him finish.
Get it.
I'm on quite a show.
That got so dark, Doug. Yeah, I don't know why I went right to giving her brother handies.
You can't afford a computer?
Oh yeah? Well, you give your brother hand jobs.
Yeah.
It just seemed like she's a very uncivilized individual.
Doesn't have a fucking computer.
She must be a monster.
But speaking of people who have computers,
I'm pretty sure there's somebody on Twitter
named K-I-S-D-A Kista.
That's you?
Hi, Kista.
Nice to see you.
And she wrote to me on Twitter,
the next game we're going to play
is called Last Man Stanton.
And it's a game where we take turns
here on stage naming movies
that feature one particular person.
And she is going to help us out by suggesting a great name.
And her fingers are crossed.
Harvey Keitel.
Harvey Keitel.
Oh, my God.
I'm glad it's a strong panel because that's kind of a tough one, I would imagine, for some of my guests.
But I think everybody up here knows at least a few Harvey Keitel movies.
And John officially won that last game.
So we'll go first with John and then Kumail, Max.
And I'll play along.
But if I win, whoever comes in second is the winner.
Okay, Mean Streets.
Mean Streets.
I haven't heard of that one.
Pulp Fiction.
Bad Lieutenant.
Wow, you guys are flying through them.
Bad Lieutenant.
Bad Lieutenant.
I'm going to go with The Piano.
No.
Fancy.
John?
Pass. What? No, no, fancy. John? Pass.
What?
No, no, no.
Which one's Harvey Keitel?
He was in Mean Streets, Pulp Fiction, Bad Lieutenant, and The Piano.
Oh, the guy from The Piano, right.
Wait, the guy from The Piano?
Yeah.
He was not The Piano.
Yep.
It was a guy in the piano.
The Adrian Brody movie?
Harvey Keitel.
That's the pianist.
Oh, well, that's a different movie.
Yeah.
Harvey Keitel's in movies, a lot of them, too.
Yeah, no, he's been in a ton of movies, but this is strangely a tough one.
You name all the ones that I know, except for the ones that I can't think of.
I was going to keep Mean Streets in my back pocket.
Wait, wait, wait.
Oh, okay.
I'm just saying.
I thought you were going to blurt out another movie.
No, no, no.
All right, John, so you're out?
Yeah, sure.
You know what?
To make you feel better,
and just for that reason,
I will stand with you, John.
Pass.
Wow.
I would have cast you
a million dollar arm.
Fucking Reservoir Dogs.
What happened?
Yeah, what's wrong with you guys?
What happened, guys?
Never saw it.
I was keeping smoke in my back.
You've never seen Reservoir?
Oh, smoke.
Yeah, I was going to say Holy Smoke,
but that's a different movie.
That's a different movie. Smoke is the one
where he's like, I can measure the weight of smoke.
It's one of the dumbest movies ever.
Alright, I'm going to go with Smoke.
Oh,
motherfucker.
Max, it's back to you.
I forgot that you were playing and thought
I had just won.
You're still going to be the winner. You still win.
But it's still fun to see if we can keep going.
But you want to really win?
Classic mistake.
Yeah, wait, wait, wait.
Give me like a second.
Okay, one.
I'm in no big fat rush.
But man, he's worked a lot and he's still kind of a tough one. It's interesting. Yeah, he's worked a lot and he's still kind of a tough one it's interesting yeah he's
worked a lot it's the thing is is that he's a great character in so many movies that you don't
remember he's in right he's like uh who's that other actor who's like that the bad guy in mission
impossible 3 oh yeah that guy philip seymour hoffman no no no the bad guy philip oh okay
philip seymour ho Hoffman's like the fake...
Billy Crudup is in like a million movies,
and you never...
Oh, Jesus.
Stage Beauty.
Are we doing Billy Crudup now?
The Rocketeer?
Rocketeer.
Mission Impossible 3?
Billy Crudup is in The Rocketeer?
I don't know.
I guess he said The Shadow, The Phantom. Iup is in The Rocketeer? I don't know. I guess he said The Shadow, The Phantom.
I was like, The Rocketeer.
That's the best of the three.
Yeah, The Rocketeer is great.
All right, do you have another Keitel for us, Max?
Dazzle us with another Keitel.
Not you, Kumail.
Almost Famous.
Yes, Billy Crudup is in Almost Famous.
Is Keitel in Jackie Brown?
I think he is.
I think he has like a little role. Is he?
No. Who the hell?
Go away. Harvey. Shut up.
He just said I think. It doesn't count. Kick him out
Doug. Kick him out Doug.
Show him. Teach him a lesson. I like it when people
verify. That's the
difference between just yelling out an answer
and being helpful that was genuinely
helpful that we now know that harvey cartel is not in pulp fiction i mean no he is
he does not he's not in it you guys i i only watched two-thirds of it but i swear i swear
he's not in it oh true true romance no he's not in jerome no no True Romance? No, he's not in True Romance. No, no, no. But I want to say From Dusk Till Dawn, of course.
Ah.
Yeah.
And while I'm at it, I'm going to say Moonrise Kingdom.
Oh, Moonrise Kingdom.
As long as I'm at it.
Yeah.
But Max is our winner, everybody.
Yay!
Yay!
Congratulations.
Keitel, he's a tough one.
That was a very good suggestion.
Now is the part where, check this out.
Tell us the ones we missed.
National Treasure.
Taxi Driver.
Grand Budapest Hotel.
Taxi Driver.
Brother Jugs and Speed.
That's a very good movie.
That's a classic.
National Treasure.
One and two?
No fucking taxi driver.
The fact that none of us got that is embarrassing.
It happens.
It's hard.
Last Temptation of Christ.
What's the movie where it's really romantic
and he's having sex the whole movie?
Taxi!
Get out.
Get out.
Get the fuck out of here.
This show, we're going to throw every one of you out.
Oh, sex tape.
Yeah.
Sex tape two, soak harder.
Like it Whoops
Did you say
So Carter
So Carter
So Carter
Like didn't we
Didn't we turn a corner
Like maybe
Two years
Or three years ago
When like
A movie about
A sex tape
Would be like
Well
Once you put
Once it's on the internet
That's it
There's no
No reason to get in your car
And drive somewhere To try to stop it.
Wow, but in this movie...
Are you about to pitch sex tape?
Please explain it to me.
I didn't even know you knew what it was about.
Because there are also two non-famous people who made a sex tape.
So if they just keep their heads down and go about their business,
why would everybody see it?
Because... I'm on the would everybody see it? Because...
I'm on the edge of my seat.
Because...
Because it's their mailman that has it
and then if he sees it, then he's gonna show
everyone knows then.
And it's...
That's not the premise of the movie.
It syncs up to other people's, all their
friends' iPads.
The cloud. In the trailer, they keep yelling,
it's in the cloud.
We can't get it back from the cloud.
All right, well, that's okay, Kumail.
You can't win them all.
Obviously.
I want to see you in it.
I'm going to watch it someday just to see you.
It's a great plane movie.
I don't...
Does that sentence have a comment in it? It's a great plane movie. I don't... Does that sentence have a comment in it? It's a great
plane movie. I just mean
it's really... I think it's
a really funny movie. I think it got sort of
short-changed a little bit. No, I think
it got short-changed by the fact that the premise
sounds weird. That there was
a whole movie of them trying to stop
a sex tape. It's on the internet.
It's over. And you can't have somebody sitting at a computer trying to stop a sex tape, it's on the internet. It's over.
Yeah, I don't know why.
And you can't have somebody sitting at a computer
trying to stop it.
That's not...
Yeah.
That's like, might as well call it War Games 2.
Yeah.
I don't know why I wrote it.
So Carter, yeah.
All right, let's play Reverse Malton, you guys.
Reverse Malton.
Who do we decide won that last game?
Max.
Jesus' son.
Is another Billy Crudup movie.
So is the Stanford Prison Experiment.
It is a good one.
Yeah.
All right.
So I got to explain Reverse Malton to you guys
because I think it's everybody's first time.
It's like the old Malton game,
but since Max gets to go first,
I'm going to name three movies.
Max is going to pick one that he thinks he knows the most actors from.
I'm going to tell him how many actors Leonard lists,
and then he's going to tell me how many of those,
in no particular order, he thinks he can name
and then Kumail will get to challenge him or say that he can name more people etc
if you challenge somebody they can't come up with the names then you get the point
we're playing to two points Max Max, are you ready? Sure.
Which of these
movies do you know more actors from?
Carrie?
New or old? 76. Thank you.
Saturday Night Fever?
No.
Or Grease? or grease which one of those three films do you think you can name the most actors from in
probably all came out before you were born well the, the answer is just two, two, and two.
So...
Well, which one do you think no one else can name three?
Oh, motherfucker.
Who plays the fucking therapist in Carrie?
I don't know, but it's probably not good.
I don't remember there being a rapist in Carrie.
Oh, therapist.
I like that laugh.
Hey.
All right.
Which one do you want to do, Max?
He's looking deeply into the eyes of his competitors.
I'm trying to think if either of them can do more than two for those movies.
I don't know.
It depends on which movie.
Yeah.
It depends on which one you pick.
I'm old.
Those are right in my wheelhouse.
Yeah, I know.
That's what I was just thinking about, how old you are.
That's not 90s.
I guess I'll try Grease.
Okay.
And Leonard lists a lot of names.
Eight, 11, 14, 15 names from Greece, from 1978, of course.
How many of the names listed by Leonard,
how many of the 15 do you think you can name, Max?
Two. He says two. Kumail, think you can name, Max? Two.
He says two.
Kumail, can you name more than two people from Greece?
Three.
Oh, John.
How many can you name from Greece?
Four.
Oh.
It's the word.
Max, you can challenge John.
Or name five, even though you've admitted to everyone.
You only know two, except if you could think of the therapist.
Well, no, that's Carrie. That's true, Carrie.
Because they're all Travolta movies.
Carrie is not relevant.
Did you really just name one of the actors?
Yeah.
Oh, no, that's not a...
No one's like, oh, Grease, who's in that?
I'm not trying, but I do.
I challenge you.
Okay, so John Hammond needs to name four people that are in Greece.
So John Travolta, Olivia Newton, John, Jeff Conaway, and Stalker Channing.
Yes.
I knew Stalker Channing.
Now, was Frankie Valli listed in that?
Because I was maybe going to go five.
Oh, to get Frankie Valli?
No.
Oh, good.
I don't even think Frankie Valli's in it.
Yeah, he is.
It's a beauty school dropout.
He sings beauty.
No, that's the other guy.
Frankie Valli.
That's...
Valli Frankie.
Billy Crudup.
It's Frankie Avalon.
Right.
Frankie Avalon.
Fair enough.
We all learned something from that.
Jeff Conaway, Didi Cohn,
Eve Arden, Sid Caesar,
Joan Blondell,
Ed Kooky Burns,
Alice Ghostly,
Dodie Goodman,
Lorenzo Lamas,
Michael Tucci,
Dinah Manoff. Michael Tucci? Lorenzo Lamman, Lorenzo Lamas, Michael Tucci, Dinah Manoff.
Lorenzo Lamas?
Lorenzo Lamas and Sid Caesar?
Did you say Lorenzo Lamas?
Yes. He's like the dumb guy
that's fighting for Olivia Newton
John's affections. He's in sports
so that's why John Travolta's character
tries sports because he wants to
be like that dumbass. Wow.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tell me more. Tell me more.
Tell me more.
Tell me more.
Didn't she put up a fight?
What?
Whoa, whoa.
Seriously, if she did, you should have stopped.
Fucking calm down.
Jesus.
What's wrong with you?
Keep it in your pants, Michael Tucci.
It's one of those stories where she says one thing
and he says something else,
and I guess we have to believe the guy.
Yeah, they're both not that risque,
except for the one guy suggesting he should have held her down.
That's not in the song, is it?
Yes, it is.
Yeah, did she pat up a fight?
No, no, held her down is not it.
Did you have to hold her down?
That's not it.
What are we doing?
Could she get me a friend?
All right.
Yes.
Any of her friends will fuck you
just because she tells them to.
Well, she's so scared of the first guy.
Did she put up a fight?
See, that's what you do.
You break them one at a time.
That's how you start the slavery.
He became a pimp over the summer down under all right uh so john won that uh that round and uh who challenged
him max yeah i did all right so we'll start with kumail and then go to max and kumail gets to pick
between the following three films which one do you know more actors from?
Raiders of the Lost Ark,
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom,
or Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade?
Which one of those can you name more people?
Indiana Jones, Temple of Doom, Last Crusade.
Crystal Skull's not on the list.
Shit, I meant to put it on there,
but I have this thing where I don't like garbage.
Garbage makes me cry like an Indian.
Not, you know, an Indian chief from the commercials. Yeah, not the kind of Indian that I'm not.
Not the kind of Indian who says Google.
Google.
Google.
The other kind of Indian I'm not.
Which one do you like there, Kamil?
Ooh.
I'll go Last Crusade.
Okay.
Not what I would pick, but from 1989.
And Leonard lists about, there's one with a hyphen,
so I've got to count them up right.
I'm so bad at this game.
No spoilers, man.
I've barely done anything yet.
Nine names.
How many, how many, how many, how many?
I'll say two.
I'll say three.
Strong opening bid.
Max says three.
I'll say three.
John? I'll say two. I'll say three. Strong opening bid. Max says three. I'll say three. John?
I'll say four.
He says four names, Kumail.
Okay.
Name it.
Holy shit.
For the win.
Really?
Name four people.
Already?
Yeah.
Name four people from Last Crusade.
Sean Connery, Harrison Ford.
And his friend.
Yes!
Can I?
John.
Wait a second.
Is that how it works?
Not yet, no.
No, he's gotten three.
Somebody restate it.
Harrison Ford, Sean Connery, his friend.
And they named the dog Indiana.
So the guy that played Jesus.
The Ghost Knight.
George Costanza.
Billy Crudup.
Did you challenge him, Kumail?
Yes, he did.
Good challenge.
Yeah, no.
It's John Rhys-Davies or somebody Rhys-Davies or Rhys-Davies or Rhysman.
No, the guy with his big friend.
All right, no, I'm out.
I got it.
I don't have it.
For reals?
Yeah, sorry.
Well, you were right about...
Yeah, those are my three.
John Rhys-Davies was...
Oh, yeah, I did get it right.
...was the third name, but you still...
Hold on, let me go.
You still need a fourth.
All right, I need a fourth.
Shut up, Kamau. He already... No, no, no, no, no need a fourth. I need a fourth? Shut up, Camille.
He already gave up.
You did give up, I think.
I think you gave up.
Yeah.
All right, fine.
Okay, now guess it.
You should do it.
Karen Allen.
Huh?
Karen Allen?
No.
No, no.
She wasn't in that one.
There was a blonde girl in that one.
Yeah, she's named Allison Doody.
Yes.
Allison Doody. I don't know
why Doody didn't appear in more
movies.
I don't know why everybody wasn't like,
get me Doody. The last
Indiana Jones was Doody Free.
No, it wasn't.
It was full of Doody.
Anybody else? Come on.
Dan Holm, Elliot was also in there.
Julian Glover.
And another thing, young Indiana Jones, River Phoenix.
Oh, River.
That's right.
Rest in peace.
Yep.
All right.
So Camille gets a point.
Camille's on the board.
Fuck yeah.
Million dollar arm.
This thing.
We would have had so much fun in India making a million dollar arm.
It was so hot.
Were you there for a long time?
Yeah, for four weeks.
It was so, it was hot.
You would have loved it.
You would have met so many Indians.
I would have been, you know they're my enemy, right?
That's cool.
You could have, look at what we could have done for like international, like, goodwill.
Well, why didn't you put in a word for me?
I didn't, well, I didn't, first of all, I didn't know you. Yeah. And second of all, I was pretty sure I didn't like you because I don't know you. Well, why didn't you put in a word for me? Well, first of all, I didn't know you.
And second of all, I was pretty sure I didn't like you
because I don't know you.
So I was like,
no, I don't like.
So no, it wasn't up to me.
It's cool.
I was really bad
in the audition, so
the right guy got it.
The white guy got it?
Yeah, I auditioned for your person.
Oh.
Then we wouldn't have had fun in India.
He was also up for the Lake Bell roll.
All right, Max, you get to pick.
Cool.
And then which way does it go, Doug?
It's going to go to Kamille, because he challenged you before.
I never understand this game.
I know, right?
I literally never understand how this works.
Five years I've been doing this game.
It always seems to be totally random.
And then it goes that way, because that's the thing.
And then maybe it goes right, and maybe it goes left.
And you know what it never goes to?
You.
So don't worry about it.
This microphone smells funny.
Max, would you like the right stuff,
do the right thing,
or the kids are all right?
Which one of those do you know more peeps?
Man, one of them would be awesome for me.
I bet it's the right stuff.
I bet that's the one.
That would be awesome for me.
Yeah.
And then one of them would be awesome for me, too.
There's another one?
Yeah.
What was the other one?
Oh, no, no. All three of them would be awesome for me too. There's another one? Yeah. What was the other one? Oh no no.
All three of them will be awesome for me.
Right stuff. John's confident with all of them.
Max which one would you like to play?
The Right Stuff was a really good book
by the way.
I know Doug doesn't like books. Max almost right now
feels like he's more like just thinks he's
in the audience or something.
I was trying to think
like you say two of them are good for
him. No, all of them are. All of them are?
Yeah.
I can't name more than like two people in
any of these movies. Let's just
do like do the right thing.
Okay. You probably know
more than two people in that movie. Yeah, I would think so.
Not off the top of my head. Every time he asks
me like name actors in this movie, I can no longer see any of that movie in that movie. Yeah, I would think so. Not off the top of my head. Every time he asks me, like, name actors in this movie,
I can no longer see
any of that movie in my head.
Right, it just all shoots out.
It instantaneously
completely leaves me.
Do the Right Thing
might be a movie
about an alien invasion
for all I know right now.
15 names.
It isn't.
Well, I hope
when the aliens invade
that they just throw
trash cans through windows
because we could
probably handle that.
1989 is the year.
15 names.
One.
You picked this movie on the grounds that you knew two names from each of the movies.
Why would you do the movie that you don't know anything about?
How many can you name?
Interesting strategy.
There we go.
It's also a movie where guessing can feel real racist.
You have exposed my plan.
Okay, so Kumail, can you do more than one?
I'll say two.
I don't know.
If your answer has probably...
I'll say five.
Five!
And maybe you get five.
I don't think the guy who could only name one
is in a position to not challenge you.
Can I challenge Kumail?
Nope. Nope. Doesn Kumail? Nope.
Nope.
Doesn't work that way.
I'm just going to start with the word probably,
and then I'm just going to be racist.
Okay.
Yeah, John, I'll challenge you,
but I have a lot of faith in you.
All right, John needs to go with five names.
Samuel the Jackson,
which is how you pronounce his name in Spanish
it's actually
living here you learn stuff like that
living in Los Angeles because I just ate at the
compadre a little while ago
super good place delicious
that's how you say his name in English
I don't want to nitpick.
I know.
I know.
I know.
Sorry.
Samuel L. Hexen.
You're really bitter about that million dollar arm thing, man.
Me?
Oh, no.
No, no, no.
Danny Aiello.
John Turturro.
How many is that?
That's four.
And Giancarlo Esposito.
Wow.
Yes, he is in it.
Yes, that's correct.
Thank you to the guy for stepping on his shoe.
Sean Hamm is our winner.
Good, he
finally won something this week.
The Emmy was just icing on this cake.
How many other ones?
Can you want to try to take a swing at some other ones,
Kumail? Me? Yeah.
No. Come on.
Get some black actor names.
Oh, God.
Well, there was a very famous
Puerto Rican actress in there.
Yeah, a Puerto Rican is in there.
Oh, yeah. Rosie Perez there was a very famous Puerto Rican actress in there. Yeah, a Puerto Rican is in there. Oh, yeah.
Rosie Perez.
Yes.
That's right.
There's a white guy in there.
Well, there were already two I named.
A couple of them.
He said Danny Aiello, but there's a couple other ones that we didn't say.
I said John Turturro, too.
Yeah, John Turturro.
And then there's, I'm looking at another white guy right now.
I'm looking at a lot of them.
Yeah. Room lot of them.
Room full of them.
No, but Kumail, you want to guess another one?
Oh, God.
I haven't seen this movie.
What?
Really?
It's really good.
It's really good and depressing.
It's so depressing.
But also, I just saw it last summer, and it super holds up.
It really doesn't feel like it's 30 years old.
Seven is now like 20 years old, right?
Yeah.
That's fucking crazy.
Numbers don't mean anything.
Here, I'm going to...
It seems like only yesterday when seven...
It seems like only yesterday when seven, eight, nine.
Okay, so...
I'm going to take a big swing.
I love it.
Hugh Grant.
No.
I think you're thinking of John Savage
is who you're thinking of.
And, of course, Martin Lawrence was in it.
Robin Harris, the late Robin Harris.
Bill Nunn.
Is that Baby's Kids?
Yeah.
Yes.
Ossie Davis, Ruby Dee.
Oh, Ossie Davis.
I knew Ossie Davis.
Da Mayor.
Maggie, who do you want your shithead to be?
Because Kumail, I mean, Max didn't win.
Do you have someone you'd like me to call shithead?
Maggie?
Tyler Terry.
Okay.
Kumail, you have one on the back of yours, right?
Yes, I do.
Okay, that person did it right.
That's interesting
yeah and then the dude that John is playing for come get your prize box
congratulations do you want your frame picture of Zack back okay you can hang
on to that I'm sorry it doesn't fit into the box. Hope you're not on a bus or something tonight.
Because you've got a big box of stuff.
Congratulations.
Max, when does Amelisa come out?
Because I know that you're promoting that.
Sometime soon, right?
It's playing at Fantastic Fest this week.
Yeah, I'll see it there. I don't know, but go see Amelisa.
And then the movie, the script I wrote called Frankenstein
is now a movie called Victor Frankenstein
that comes out in November.
Yeah.
I haven't seen it yet, but it has a bunch of cool people in it.
And then Mr. Right.
Isn't Daniel Radcliffe in it?
Yeah, Radcliffe and McAvoy and a bunch of the cast of BBC Sherlock.
A lot of the cast of Victor Frankenstein is in it, right? Oh, all
of them. Yeah, okay. Yeah, all
of them. It's crazy.
It might be too hot in here
for us to do our plugs.
I thought, we did a show here
in the afternoon recently, and it was
hot as fuck in here, and we were all like,
but at least the next one will be at night time.
It isn't so bad.
It's bad. You are wearing
a waxed denim jacket. It's true.
You are wearing a near full
Canadian tuxedo. But all these people that are fanning
themselves in the audience are dressed appropriately.
She's just got a lovely
summer dress on. Kumail
you got a million things going
on. What's next? What should we look for?
Oh. When's Silicon Valley back? you got a million things going on what's next? What should we look for?
When's Silicon Valley back?
Go watch sex tape Yeah, when's the director's cut of sex tape?
Get in a hot tub time machine
and go back in time to
when it mattered whether you watched sex tape or not
I would say just watch Silicon Valley
it's on iTunes
and The Meltdown
with Jonah and Kamala
is a stand up show
that is actually shot
in this room
get that on iTunes
or Amazon
and yeah
my podcast is
The Indoor Kids
that I do with Emily
author Emily V. Gordon
whose book
Super You
and X-Files
get Emily's book
and
X-Files
if you're into X-Files.
All right.
I'm doing stand-up at Helium in Buffalo.
Helium, it's a gas on Sunday, October 4th.
Is that really what their tagline is?
No, I made that one up for them.
I'm forcing that on them.
I say it all the time whenever I play Helium, it's a gas.
Bring your name tags, Buffalo.
And Jon Hamm,
do you have another film coming out sometime soon?
Keeping Up with the Joneses,
starring myself and Zach Galifianakis,
coming out in 2016 at some point.
Okay.
As well as Isla Fisher and Wonder Woman herself,
Gal Gadot,
directed by Greg Mottola.
Should be funny.
There's lots of car crashes and blow-em-ups.
And that's it.
That's it.
Nothing else.
That's it.
So it's over for Jon Hamm, everybody.
Totally available.
One more movie and out.
One and done.
Off to an island somewhere.
Well, thank you to all of my guests.
Let's hear it one more time for Max Landis,
Kumail Nanjiani, and Jon Hamm.
Jon!
Thank you so much, you guys.
Thanks, guys.
And, uh,
as always,
as always,
Tyler Perry is a
shithead.
And Candy Corn is a shithead.
It sucks.
Candy Corn sucks.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing crowd was big, six foggies.
There's no room in his heart for you.
The Doug Loves Movies.
Thanks, you guys.
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