Doug Loves Movies - Jon Hamm, Paul F. Tompkins, and Anthony Jeselnik Guest
Episode Date: January 5, 2012The semifinal round of the third Leonard Maltin Tournament of Championships kicks off with Jon Hamm, Paul F. Tompkins, and Anthony Jeselnik.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and... California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming baby cities
He's with 50 as in pop or a turtle in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Because Doug loves movies
Hey everybody.
My name is Doug and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies coming to you from the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater in Los Angeles, California
on Tuesday, January 3rd, 2 Oceans 12.
It's so sad how excited we all are by that.
Thank you to everyone who came out to last week's taping at Flappers in Burbank.
That was super fun.
And yes, I agree,
Pete Holmes and T.J. Miller
should be on a show together sometime
because then I won't have to say a word.
Dougloves movies will be taped in vegas this sunday january 8th to ocean 12 at the louis anderson theater in palestation casino
it's over there on sahara off the strip and i plan to celebrate martin luther king jr Day by doing shows all weekend at 420 every day at
the Sacramento Punchline.
Stand up Saturday, January
14th with some Leonard Maltin game at the end
and the winner of which from the audience
will be invited to come back and actually
be a guest on Douglas Movies on Monday
January 16th at 420.
What's happening January 15th you
ask? A Benson interruption
taping I answer
so there's a
special ticket price for all three days
if you're that much of a psychopath
since last I spoke
you listened I saw
the artist and my review
in eight words or less of the artist
excellent execution
some boring parts
emotionally satisfying
conclusion.
I also saw Hugo
in my review in 8 Words or Less.
Fuck you, 3D!
This has been 8 Words or Less.
Since MI4GP
S-H-
A-G-O-S are still number one and number two respectively at the box office,
there's no reason to do Watch This, Not That.
You know where I stand.
Now it's time for Tweet Relief.
These are tweets about movies written by me or friends of mine.
This particular one was written by past and future guest Dana Gould.
He's Dana J. gould on twitter and
he tweeted yesterday i haven't seen extremely loud and incredibly close but i assume it's a
documentary about talking to drunk people this has been tweet relief
you guys are the best.
As promised, the third tournament of championships is starting tonight.
The prize bag includes... It's a heavy prize bag.
Just hold that prize bag for a second.
That's heavy, right?
Holy shit.
He confirms it.
And you can't lie if you have a hat on with an A on it.
And you can't lie if you have a hat on with an A on it.
In this bag are Weezer t-shirts.
As always, WeezerCruise.com.
There's also a Weezer CD called Hurley that's signed by the entire band.
And Doug loves, not Doug loves movies, but Doug Benson, professional humoridian.
My first CD is in the bag.
And we also have, this is going to start,
two of these are going to give away who the guests are,
and one of them is going to make you go, what?
A nice hat, you know, a winter, an orange winter hat that says on it, cookie party, but don't be misled.
winter hat that says on it, cookie party, but don't be misled.
And then
this CD
that you may know called Shakespeare
and a couple of seasons of Mad Men.
Please welcome
Paul F. Tompkins, Anthony
Jeselnik, and Jon Hamm. Happy New Year!
The first thing Paul of Tompkins says to me
is, you're happy now? It's finally a big crowd.
And it's like, I complained like twice
a few months ago.
But you were really,
really complaining.
I was really upset.
I like people sitting
on the floor uncomfortably.
And that's what's
happening tonight.
So I'm very,
very, very excited.
These three gentlemen,
of course,
have all qualified
for the next round,
this particular round,
of the Tournament
of Championships.
And please don't write
to me on Twitter and say it's championships
not you know what I mean
I just want to throw this out to all three of you
Anthony, John, Paul
what a funny order of names
People will laugh at anything at this point
Thanks for wearing the baggy shorts
Right there in the front row
I appreciate that
Sir
I know it's like 75 degrees outside
But you don't have to be so
So excited about it.
Let's go down the line.
Anthony, have you seen Hugo, and if you did,
was it in 3D? I did not.
We'll never see Hugo. Yeah!
I like the way this is going.
Jon Hamm, Hugo, 3D.
No and no.
Beautiful.
Let's go three for three.
Paul F. Tompkins I have not seen Hugo
but I am open
to the possibility
that the universe
will somehow lead me
to see it in the future
but regular style
not 3D
oh I don't want to see it at all
okay
I'm just saying
I'm saying that
there are forces
beyond my control
that may have me
seeing Hugo
in the future
well here's what happened it's called maybe me seeing Hugo in the future.
Well, here's what happened.
It's called... Maybe by seeing Hugo
in 3D
will save the world.
I was thinking more
like it might be your wife
that wants to see it,
but something's
going to make you see it.
And it's not going to be me
because I watched
30 minutes of it
with these heavy
fucking goggles on
that they give you
at the arc light
that are uncomfortable
from the second you put them on I mean I know I have a big fat head but they're
just they're uncomfortable and I'm sitting there watching it and it's a in
the movie I've been told over and over again it's about the magic of the movies
and I watched 30 minutes of it and nobody mentions movies or anything to do
with movies in that part of it and to me it's like if you're
gonna make me wear 3d glasses please keep it around 90 minutes you know what i picture you
being so stoned you're wearing three pairs of glasses i do have prescription lenses and sunglasses
that i like to wear in the theater so i will triple up as if i'm john lennon on the double
fantasy album cover.
Now, you put the sunglasses on for daytime scenes, right?
Yes.
You just hurriedly, like, oh, what a hassle it is. When is somebody going to make glasses that adjust?
You need transition 3D lenses.
I need transition 3D lenses.
Somebody get on that so that I can never wear them.
I wanted to say, I've seen 3D movies many times,
and I've never found the glasses that uncomfortable.
They're really that, every time?
Because they're not the same.
They're sort of different every time.
Yeah, so, but for some reason,
the last two times I went,
there were these glasses that, like,
they're really heavy on the bridge of your nose,
and they're also, like,
almost like you're gonna go to a party in them or something.
Like, they're, like, cool guy.
Like, they're, like, it's like you're, you know,
your vision is cut off on the top and the bottom.
Like, they're forcing you to watch a letterboxed movie
in a motion picture theater.
Because they're too stylish.
The frames are too stylish.
You did go to the Arclight.
Yeah, the Arclight.
So you were given the hipster 3D.
Yeah, yeah, because I made the mistake of going to the Arclight.
I should go to Howard Johnson's where they're made out of paper.
That was rude.
That's not fair to say about the ghetto.
Very rude.
Also, did you say Howard Johnson or Magic Johnson?
I thought you said Howard Johnson where the glasses are made out of pancakes.
Magic Johnson.
I'd like extra syrup, please.
Magic Johnson is the movie theater.
Howard Johnson's is where Magic got AIDS.
Little known fact.
Little known fact.
Don't you be a messenger.
Would have been a lot cooler if he got AIDS in his own movie theater.
That guy would be working overtime.
He's cooler than a turd.
Maybe not cooler.
He could have gotten AIDS while watching the basketball derby.
More sophisticated.
Maybe more sophisticated.
Yeah, of course.
No, that is the correct term.
Have you guys been to the movies lately?
Yes.
Start with Anthony.
I saw one I really liked called We Need to Talk About Kevin.
I liked that a lot.
You did?
No one saw that.
Yeah, it's Tilda Swinton is being heavily.
That's Kevin.
She's a lot of awards organizations are giving her kudos.
Well deserved.
Yeah, and you really liked it.
Yeah, I did.
I mean, it's about a school shooting, so of course.
Classic holiday fare. Yeah, well, it's about a school shooting so of course classic holiday fair yeah
well it's called Anthony getting material I'll go see that school shooting movie what about you
JH I saw the Descendants good one I liked it yeah that's all in 3d no way it's like it's like what george clinton's running those flip-flops are coming right at you amazing
that scene where they're at that beach their beautiful beach it looks like a beach gorgeous
because that's what drove me crazy about hugo was just like stuff that happens in regular movies
it wasn't like no one no one's sticking stuff out of you, so why bother? Other than, I guess, the depth thing is exciting.
I think for animated films, it works really well
because it puts you in the world of this animated film.
But for other things that I've seen 3D,
I find it does not work as well.
Yeah, I mean, I respect Martin Scorsese,
but children's movies...
Did he put his mom in this one?
Oh, she's passed on.
Is she no longer with us? There's a scene where there's a mom in this one? Oh, she's passed on. Does she know all of this?
There's a scene where there's like a box
that she might be in, yes.
So the answer then is yes.
Didn't she get killed?
Yeah, not such a dumb question, Paul.
Good to know.
What have you seen, Paul?
The other night I saw
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.
I don't care about your personal relationships.
What film?
It was also at a Howard Johnson's.
This is my second attempt at seeing a movie version of the girl with the dragon tattoo
because we my wife and i tried to watch that swedish version could not handle it was horrible
like yeah well there's a lot of reading we couldn't get past the first rape
and we were like oh this isn't this isn't i read that book but this isn't fun does he act it out at all. I know in Sweden they're very relaxed about
sex stuff.
So maybe it's my prudishness
that I did not enjoy that hideous, brutal
rape. So we turned it off.
But I knew the Hollywood version would not be as
brutal. And it wasn't, but still pretty
brutal. And twice,
right? Yeah. There was a thing
that bothered me. It was Daniel Craig's
character did this thing
with his glasses uh this is what you would like to do for our podcast list but i will describe it
come on i'm not one of your dumb friends i know i know i know you're a pro you're one of my smart
friends so i'm so delighted you confirmed it. So he does...
Now, there's a pet peeve of mine forever,
is actors who clearly don't wear glasses.
Their character wears glasses.
And you can tell because they're touching
their fucking glasses all the time.
You never see anybody in life constantly, like,
just reassuring themselves that they have glasses on their face.
Like, constantly.
Woody Allen, maybe, is the only person.
So Daniel Craig did a thing
that I've never seen in life
where to take his glasses off
but still have them around
rather than push them up on his head
which I've seen people do.
He did this thing where he would
he would hook them on one ear
and have them hanging under his chin.
You've never seen anyone do this in life.
I have seen.
It's weird.
I've seen someone do that, but all I thought the entire time was that is weird.
Get a picture of it and we'll put it on the internet.
And it's like one time I'm like, oh, okay, that's a thing that happened.
Okay.
Like 50 times he does it.
It took me right out
of all the rapes.
I cannot concentrate
on this rape.
What was going on
with those glasses?
I get bothered
when there's a couple
of famous bald dudes
that always have glasses
on their forehead.
That, to me, is like,
can't you just get a bad tattoo?
That's a bad...
I meant to say, instead of tattoo,
I meant to say toupee.
They're so close, you guys.
The girl with the dragon toupee.
The girl with the dragon toupee is...
is a delightful...
Mickey Root is in that, I think.
Scorsese's next animated project.
Yeah.
All right, shall we play a game?
Just got all war games in here.
It came around extra fast.
You guys are great guests to talk to,
especially Anthony, but...
But we got to play. This is an important game.
You're playing to three points.
The winner is going to advance to the finals.
You can feel the tension.
There's more on the line here
than the GOP caucuses tonight
Hey yo
Aww
Those poor guys
No cause the winner of that
Never goes on to win
Tonight we may have a future
Winner on our hands
Just keep going Dennis Miller
Doug you had that coming Oh fuck you and Dennis Miller.
Doug, you had that coming.
Oh, fuck you.
I did.
Dennis Miller is very against the GOP.
You have a good point.
No, he isn't.
Okay.
No, he's not.
He's got a lot of money.
Are you... Now that you're so successful, John Hamm,
are you going to switch political...
Oh, I thought it was going to be political.
Because I think that's the only reason
a Charlton Heston, rest in peace,
or a Kelsey Grammer, also rest in peace,
where they will switch over political allegiances
because they become so rich
that really what they're mostly concerned about
is keeping their money and
no one murdering them.
And that makes you vote. Okay.
We got off track.
We're here to play this game.
We don't care about politics tonight.
Let's forget about it tonight.
Just take your hat off for one night.
He likes the sports team
Alright
Go my favorite sports team
Brian Regan, remember?
Is that one of his bits?
Yes
He's so funny
He's still with us
He's still with us
Okay, good
Let's bring him out
There he comes
Let's bring him out right now
You too, the next time you fly somewhere
Alright You too, the next time you fly somewhere Alright
We get to start with Anthony
Then we'll go to John
Then we'll go to Paul F. Tompkins
Anthony gets to pick a category
Anthony, would you like
The number one movie
This is suggested by King of Pancakes
The number one movie
Oh yeah, good call
Thank you, Jordan.
Jordan was on top of that.
I was so anxious to get into the tournament
that we didn't pick name tags.
Everybody pick a name tag.
Well done, Jordan.
Don't pick Jordan, though.
He doesn't even try.
Yeah, you got to take the ambulance bill.
That's a good, that's a great name tag.
Are you cool if I read your address?
Jon Hamm doesn't seem to have fallen for Jon the Waterfront,
which is a clever, clever tag that you have.
So what do you have there, Anthony?
Mine says, if you pick Aviv, Aviv So what do you have there, Anthony? Mine says,
if you pick Aviv,
Aviv, how do you pronounce that?
If you pick Aviv, he will smoke marijuana for the first time.
Also, here's an Arby's gift card.
Wow.
Aviv put a lot on the line.
I think that's going to bode well
for future guests on the show.
How much is the gift card for?
You guys, gift cards will get selected probably.
Your mom gave it to you
so you don't know how much is on this?
You could have just given me a million dollars
in cholesterol.
Ten dollars at Arby's is a million dollars at Arby's.
You can't eat ten dollars worth
or a million dollars worth.
Either way, you're fucked.
I might own a franchise.
Bring a friend.
Great name tag of Eve.
Let's go to Jon Hamm.
Who'd you pick?
I picked David Cahill's pot license.
You brought your pot license?
And I also have his home address,
his social security number,
and his driver's license number.
Yeah.
Oh, it's not on here.
Thank God you have a photographic memory.
No, but his driver's license is B832.
What could somebody do with that, vote?
All right, Paul F. Tompkins has got...
I'm playing for Mark.
Mark, who his name tag is an ambulance bill.
I like how all these name tags have a story.
Yeah, it's a great way to start the new year.
It looked like it's still in the envelope.
He started to open it and then said,
you know what, wait.
What am I rushing for?
I'm going to Douglas movies.
What am I, an ambulance?
I don't need the ambulance anymore.
Exactly.
I ain't getting any Weller. His guests seem like
very nice people who might choose
me to not win
any money that would help me
to pay this bill. But maybe you could
go to a pawn shop
and get rid of some of this stuff.
A pawn shop? Yeah.
In pawn shops, Jesselnick's
Shakespeare goes for $350
don't ask me how I know
he gave me a copy
it was very nice of him
but you know
it's time to time
that's $350
boom
yeah you heard me
what a
what a horribly
overpriced CD
alright
here we go
we'll start with you Anthony
thank you Jordan
for reminding me
to pick contestants.
It's a crucial, crucial part of the show.
At King of Pancakes suggested the number one movie 10 years ago to this very day.
So number one movie 10 years ago.
Of course, we've heard about it ad nauseum,
but it's still, I'm going to plug it until
the day I go. I'm going on the Weezer
cruise, and so
films with Weezer on the soundtrack,
no one ever picks this category.
And no one ever will. No,
because who remembers which soundtracks
had Weezer? I'll tell you one.
I'll tell you one of them. Shrek Forever
After
had a Weezer. I'll tell you one. I'll tell you one of them. Shrek Forever After had a Weezer song.
And then your
third option, Anthony,
is movies with four letters in the title.
An example, of course, being
Milk.
Which one of those categories would you like to play?
Are you clapping for the example?
Okay.
It's from a previous show.
I pick one from a previous show
I keep recycling that category
I'm gonna go
I'm gonna go number one
From ten years ago
Alright
This movie was number one
At the box office
The boxist
Boxist office
Was it the boxist?
Ten years ago
To this very day
Three stars from Leonard
He calls this movie
Sprawling
He also Describes his own way of sitting in a theater
As sprawling
And he also says about this movie
That it was followed by a sequel
It's from 2001, three stars
And you get
Wouldn't it be 2002?
What?
It's Two Oceans 12.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
All right, this movie is from
11 years ago today.
Category change.
I did the research
a few days ago.
So is it,
it's from January 2001? Was the number a few days ago. So is it... It's from January 2001?
Was the number one movie.
Okay.
January 2001.
Don't act like...
How dare you question me?
You're a credit for me.
I said for a day, sir.
That's why everyone is here,
to correct me.
2001, this movie was the number one movie.
On January 3rd, I'm pretty sure, might have been March 18th.
Three stars.
Leonard calls it sprawling.
He says it's followed by a sequel.
And there are 14 names.
How many names are you going to get in, Anthony Jeselnik?
We're playing to three points.
I'm going to guess I, Anthony Jeselnik? We're playing to three points.
I'm going to guess I could do it in nine names.
Let's go to opening bid.
Go to Jon Hamm.
Five.
Whoa.
You are a mad man.
Don't laugh at that.
Don't even clap.
Don't do anything but groan like it's the Republican caucus.
Number one, January 2001.
Sprawling.
Sequel.
That's it, right?
That's all you get.
Mr. Hamm at five names mm-hmm I'm
gonna say John name that movie oh here we go
well shit I would be five minutes you to guess you're gonna get this sorry sorry Paul but I will also say to help you Paul we do need an exact title your names
are Ian Holmes Sean being Hugo weaving Christopher Lee Orlando Bloom exact title please the Lord of Exact title, please.
The Lord of the Rings.
The Fellowship of the Rings.
That is correct!
There's no need for that.
All right, John. Are you going to be a Sam Levine about it please no Sam Levine's tonight this is all this is all for fun all right so Paul challenged John so we
start with Anthony again and and then go to Paul. Anthony gets to pick from
Too Long for Len. That's movies that
Leonard Maltin thinks are too long.
He feels that way about most of them.
Another very specific category.
Rocky movies.
That's movies with the word Rocky in the title.
I think there's about seven.
And then,
at Kubrick97 suggested
Ride the Movies,
which is films based on
an amusement park ride.
Which one would you like?
Aren't there like one of those?
I think,
I've counted up at least four.
Uh-huh.
Says Smarty Pants in row three.
I'm going to go Rocky.
Nice.
This movie with Rocky in the title
is from 1979.
Leonard Mullen gives it three stars.
He says about this movie,
officially a sequel.
This slightly silly film is more of a rehash,
but the climactic bout hits home.
That's the whole review.
He summed this movie up in about 14 words.
And he lists five names.
How many names do you think you can get it in, Anthony Jesselday?
I think I can name this movie in negative three names.
Oh, shit!
I knew it would be on.
Now we go to Paul F. Tompkins.
Because the order switches every time.
John looked at me like, what?
For the listeners.
You guys know he did it.
I think I can name that movie
in negative four names.
Oh!
Now it's coming around to you.
You can either say name it
or you can go negative all five names.
Do the names have to go bottom and top?
No, top, bottom, but in the right order.
Oh, in the right order.
Yeah, top building to the bottom building.
So you'd have to be able to name all five people that are listed
in the proper order that they were billed.
According to Leonard Maltin, who fucking changes shit sometimes.
So it's anybody's sometimes. So it's
anybody's guess. So it's not according
to the movie. It is according to Leonard Maltin.
Who usually gets it for the movie, but
every once in a while. Yeah, I know.
You've been bitten by it.
I have. What do you think, John?
I'm only coming up with four, so Paul name that movie.
Paul name that movie.
Alright, let's see what happens together as a family.
What's the film called?
I'm going to say that film is called Rocky II.
Good guess, and correct as well.
I'm going to say your first actor in that film is Sylvester Stallone.
You have to name all four. I can't help you but you know what I'm gonna
give you that one thank you but I'm not gonna tell you as soon as you're wrong
just lay out all four and now this is where it gets tricky yes yes it do hold hold on we pose for this picture guy denied me he wants a natural shot is
what are you posing is actor number two
And I'm not going to say Until you get through all four
Sylvester Stallone
Talia Shire
Burgess Meredith
Burt Young
What?
Sylvester Stallone
Talia Shire
Burt Young
Carl Weathers
Then Burgess fucking Meredith.
Can you believe it?
What? That's bullshit!
Everybody acting like they were shocked
that I gave that order.
John M. has two points, everybody.
I don't like this.
I know he was in the movie.
But here's the thing.
I'm trying to second guess fucking Leonard Maltin.
I'm not saying what actually happened.
It's like this crazy old goon.
Name calling is going to get you nowhere, Paul.
I'm just ashamed.
It does make me feel good.
Fair enough.
Leonard loves the podcast, by the way.
He listens every week.
Leonard, you're a crazy old goon.
Stop rearranging the order Of the credits
Len
Let's bring him out
It's like an episode of Maury
Len Walton is not the father
Alright well that's
I don't know if that's the real billing or not,
but that's how Leonard listed it.
So, sorry, Paul.
I accept your apology.
All right, so Anthony is staying out of the fray every time,
so we'll start with him again,
but this time we'll go to John.
And you get to pick a category, Anthony.
Are the contestants allowed to be on their phones
during the game?
As long as they're trying to cheat, that's the only reason to be on your phone.
Are you still on MySpace?
Are you?
He just, when John gets off camera, he loves to get on his phone.
Because he's not allowed to use it in scenes on the show.
All right.
Wait, so am I picking the category and then he goes first?
Is that what we're doing?
You pick the category and you go first,
and then it goes to John.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We won't skip you, Anthony.
Would you like...
IFC recently listed the most underrated comedies of all time,
so this would be an underrated comedy, according to IFC.
This is a category that no one ever picks, and no one ever
will, called Beta Caridine.
That's films that feature
someone in the Caridine acting
dynasty. David, John,
Martha Pluton.
Keith would be another one.
No extra points for knowing that.
And then Conan the
Barber suggested
I Love Movies, which is movies that have an exclamation point in the title.
What would you like?
Underrated comedies, beta caridine, or I love movies?
Give me the exclamation point, please.
Exclamation point in the title.
This film is from 1980.
Three stars from Leonard.
He calls it very funny.
And he says, stay tuned through the final credits.
I don't know why he says that.
Because I don't know what staying tuned has to do with remaining in your seat.
Don't turn off your ham radio.
John.
John.
And there are
nine names listed.
I'm going to go for zero names.
Whoa!
Anthony goes zero names, so we come to John.
You can either tell him to name it or go negative names.
Now I'm still confused on
if I go negative one, do I have to get the first person?
Yeah, top build. I'll go negative names now I'm still confused on if I go negative one do I have to get the first person yeah top top build I'll go negative one
Paul F Tompkins these are 1980 exclamation point in the title mm-hmm
and what state stay tuned of course to the credits mm-hmm but what was the
other thing very funny very funny That's it just very funny?
According to Leonard Maltin
It's TBS the movie
Exclamation point
You've been burned before
It's true
John name that movie
You've been burned both ways you know true. John, name that movie.
You've been burned both ways, you know.
I just told you to name the fucking movie.
I didn't tell you to give me a history of my burns.
By having me name... I've been burned every which way, John.
Is this something you want to talk about?
With Leonard Maltin, yes.
Let's bring him out.
With Leonard Maltin, yes.
Let's bring him out.
Your anger at Leonard's really, you know,
I don't know what it's doing to you. It's the father he never had.
It's what drives me, Doug.
It's what drives my whole life.
All right.
Okay, Doug.
So you have to name the movie and the top billed performer.
I think the movie is Airplane with an exclamation point.
Maybe.
And I think the top billed person
would be Robert Hayes.
You are correct on both counts.
It's a Jon Hamm shutout.
Three in a row for Jon Hamm.
I can't believe this.
Doesn't get more impressive than that.
This is bullshit.
Let me tell you something, Jon Hamm.
In 40 years, you'll be a fucking has-been.
You're right, Anthony.
Yeah, I am right.
I look forward to the ensuing 40 years of awesomeness, however.
And I wonder... Take what you can get man
what are you clapping for that was the point of the fucking joke
he doesn't get points for my joke
I hereby cede all my points
to Anthony
Paul what's going on
you're just checking your phone
yeah yeah just gonna see what's going on? You're just checking your phone?
Yeah, yeah.
Just gonna see what's up on Twitter and stuff.
Leonard hit you back?
No, I haven't heard back from Len.
Let's see what IMDB, how they list it.
That's what I was looking up,
and by the way, they agree with you.
And Leonard.
That was a real billing, Paul.
You just don't feel bad.
You forgot Carl Weathers.
I didn't forget Carl Weathers.
Here's what I remembered.
That Burgess Meredith was a fucking Hollywood legend!
I'm sorry, I forgot.
I didn't give proper respect to the star of
Action Jackson.
Burgess fucking
Meredith.
The penguin
and that twilight zone
where his glasses broke.
I try to continue to defend your point,
but nobody cares.
Well done.
You'll be back.
Someday.
When somebody puts a magic top hat on my head.
I forgot.
Happy birthday.
Happy birthday.
I forgot.
Happy birthday. Happy birthday.
Plugs, Anthony Jeselnik?
Anything to plug?
When does this come out?
I was asked that.
Friday.
Friday.
I'll be at the Tempe Improv
tonight and tomorrow.
The Temprov!
Temprov, yes.
Okay, so it'll be too late for that.
Tonight and tomorrow?
No, I mean Friday night.
Yeah, Friday and Saturday.
God damn it, Doug.
Hey, see you guys there later on tonight.
Don't go see him.
He's not at the Tempe Improv.
Don't go see him at the Tempe Improv on Friday or Saturday.
That sounds like a lot of fun.
That's a fun place, Tempe.
That sounds like a lot of fun.
That's a fun place, Tempe.
Jon Hamm, you are in the third finals of the Tournament of Championships,
and you are a possible competitor in the Super Tournament of Championships.
Who cares?
Where you will be competing.
You'll be taking on, if you get there, Matt Bronger and Sam the Man Levine.
Lil Wolverine. At least I was spared that.
At least you were spared not having to go up against him again.
And hopefully
you can do it. You have a very busy schedule.
So we'll see. Is there anything
new season
of Mad Men starts when? March 25th.
Nice.
And of Mad Men starts when? March 25th. Nice. Is the goal of the show
to eventually catch up to now?
Like to eventually
take place now?
And then go into the future, right?
We're not hiding anything.
That's exactly what the goal is.
I like it.
Stay on the air.
Make it happen.
And any films in the can?
Jon Hamm?
Friends with Kids
starring a friend of the show,
Adam Scott,
will be released on March 9th.
And that's about the size of it.
That's it.
Paul, you're checking your schedule.
I am.
Yeah, what do you got coming up, Paul?
I want to be prepared.
Tell us about some stuff.
I just can't put this down.
This is Friday.
If you're listening to this on Friday
and you're in the Los Angeles area,
come see me and Chris Tallman
on the Dead Authors show
right here at UCB, which is to benefit
826 LA. He will be playing the role
of, that's right, he'll be playing
Arthur Conan Doyle to my H.G. Wells.
It's funny already, you guys.
People already love it. The reviews are in.
I'm doing a bunch of shows.
It was future-tastic. I'm doing a bunch of shows at
Sketchfest in San Francisco, but
I'm very excited to do the Vancouver
Comedy Festival in February.
I'm doing, I'm participating
in a live version of the Super Ego podcast.
Super Ego. So Vancouver listeners,
there's still tickets available,
but they are going fast,
so get some tickets for that shit.
And also... You really are well prepared for your plugs.
This is very rare.
I'll be doing an hour of stand-up
right here in Los Angeles
at Largo of the Coronet
on Saturday, February 11th.
Thank you, John.
Yeah, slow clapping.
That does not happen often,
but it's my new hour of
material that I'll be taking out on tour in May.
Nice. It's pretty
nice. And Doug,
you're nice to ask everybody
if they have plugs. Well, you know,
it's a thing that... Thanks, Doug.
You deserve... I don't think people thank you enough.
Well, thank you for thanking me.
I think they just have, though.
We've reached it. Yes, we've finally.
Good.
Finally for the year.
One.
Just one.
We can go back to normal now.
I need to get the.
What?
No.
What are you yelling at me?
Thank you.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, thank you to everybody that comes to the show, that listens to the show, that enjoys it.
I especially like them.
The people enjoy it.
Anthony was playing for Avivve a veve yes yeah so a veve needs to come over and pick a shithead for me to name after if you
don't mind walking over here and telling me unless it's on the back of your on
the back of that thing yeah come over and mark you didn't put it on the back
of your thing so just come over here just write down the name of a shithead
anywhere you want on that piece of
paper. And also, since we do have
a couple extra minutes, Jon Hamm shut it down
so fast, we were ending
early.
The first time in the history of this show
ending early. Aviv, good luck smoking pot tonight.
No judgment.
Oh, that's a good one.
Those are both good ones.
Kind of abstract.
Let's go through really quickly.
Anthony, do you have...
If you can name one, because I know sometimes it's hard to do,
but what was your favorite movie of last year?
God, did MacGruber come out last year?
Was that the year before?
I think that was the year before.
I would have to say, off the top of my head, 13 Assassins
was fucking awesome.
That's a good one. Check it out, you guys.
Jon Hamm? I enjoyed the Moneyball.
Yeah, Moneyball.
I liked that a great deal.
Paul F. Tompkins? Moneyball would probably be my number one.
Number two, I'd say Attack the Block.
Nice! I won
Did you guys see 50-50
Yes
I just saw it the other night
Didn't count it because I didn't see it in 2011
Right but also just underappreciated
I was kind of on the fence about it
Yeah
Wow That divided the crowd Wow
Wow
That really
That divided the crowd
I can't believe
I just lost to that
Fucking guy
I only watched half of it
But the point is
I saw the fun half
Before cancer
So check it out
Check it out And watch all of it it's
good my plugs are Weezer cruise comm SF sketch fest calm and Vancouver comedy
fest calm and thanks again great competitors Anthony Jessel Nick John We still have...
According to my watch, we still have three minutes.
According to the UCB clock, we have one minute.
So anything you want to throw in right now,
just toss it in there, you guys.
Just anything you want to say.
White power.
What? Jon Hamm?
Why did Jon Hamm yell white power?
You could have said anything.
I don't know.
I don't know.
But we're out of time.
That's so weird.
We're out of time.
Sorry, guys.
Sorry, guys.
As always, marijuana is a shithead, and 2011 is a shithead.