Doug Loves Movies - Jonah Ray, Bobby Miyamoto, and Graham Elwood Guest
Episode Date: December 1, 2013Live from the Improv in Tempe, AZ, Doug welcomes comedians Jonah Ray, Bobby Miyamoto, and Graham Elwood to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy No...tice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby sticky seeds
With 50 acid hot pork kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Because Doug loves movies
Hey everybody
My name is Doug and I love movies
This is Bob Bob's Movies
Close
There's a couple of stragglers at the end there
Coming to you for the second time
From the Improv in Tempe, Arizona!
It's Sunday, December 1st, 2 Oceans 13.
Start of the busy holiday season.
So thank you for being here.
And let me see your name tags, Tempe.
I know you brought some.
You guys were great with the name tags last year. Is the Michael Myers mask
is your name Michael?
Your whole name is Michael Myers?
God damn.
And it's funny
that mask is just as creepy
or more so when you're holding it
on your hand
because it just looks like a decapitated head
that you cut the eyes out of.
And you know the story behind that, right?
That that's supposed to be William Shatner?
It is.
That was supposed to be a William Shatner mask.
Anyway.
Good story, Doug.
Conrad Air.
I like it.
Slapstick of another kind.
What's your name?
Slappy?
Oh, you just...
Oh, the tagline.
Two heads really are
dommer than one.
That's crazy.
Did you ever see that movie?
It's awful.
It's so terrible.
Well, we got lots of good ones
and I don't have time
to mention them all.
There's a tiny
Captain America disc over there
and Rene Dirt time to mention them all. There's a tiny Captain America disc over there.
And Renee Dirt instead of Joe Dirt.
Pretty clever pun.
Thank you guys for bringing all those.
We'll have you whip all those out later.
You know when to do it.
Don't forget that if you're in the L.A. area on Tuesday, December 10th at the Douglas Moves
taping at the UCB Theater,
I'm giving away a cabin for two
on the Weezer cruise out of Jacksonville,
Florida in February.
I'd give it away here, but
you guys don't need a cruise
in the wintertime. It's warm
here all the time.
Bullshit.
Bullshit.
That guy could not stop himself.
That guy or weird lady
had to call bullshit on that one.
Last Vegas is a movie
I may never see.
But I will be doing stand-up
in Las Vegas on Friday,
January 17th,
at the 25th Hour Comedy Theater.
I know it's got a weird name, but figure out where it is and come
if you're in Vegas on January 17th.
Now it's time for tweet relief, tweets about movies.
At Dave Holmes, past and future guest Dave Holmes tweeted,
I would consider seeing Delivery Man if they'd just gone
ahead and titled it Disheveled
Semen Giant.
This has been Tweet Relief
tweets about semen giants.
Let's look in the prize bag,
you guys. There's lots of good stuff
in here. A book that you've probably heard of.
A shirt that you've
probably seen or heard about,
a DVD I can't mention just yet, a Douglas movies shirt is in there, and oh, this is awesome, like,
and disgusting, this is a bag of gummy bears that one of the guests brought, that like, when you
hold it in your hand, it is so heavy, here, hold this, sir sir can you believe that shit?
hold it in one hand and then throw it back
I mean would you ever want to eat
any of these
after you've
after you've established
oh this is gonna be in me
this much weight?
that's a good idea
I mean I know you're not supposed
to eat all of them
but who can stop?
so good luck with that
whoever wins tonight
and also a copy of
Gateway Doug and oh what's this? oh this is a thing that I was So good luck with that, whoever wins tonight. And also a copy of Gateway, Doug.
And, oh, what's this?
Oh, this is a thing that I took part in a while back
that I had an extra one sitting around.
It's a thing called Dirty Laundry,
and it's a bunch of people telling stories and stuff,
and I am one of them.
But let's get my three guests out here.
I'm very excited that these three gentlemen are here.
You know, a lot of times when I'm on the road,
we have to use some locals who are always, you know, nice, funny people.
But all of these gentlemen were nice enough to be here in Tempe,
especially for this.
Please give a big, warm welcome to Graham Elwood, Bobby Miyamoto,
and Jonah Ray.
They did the same thing I did.
It's a big step up onto the stage. Hello.
Hello.
Let's start with first-time guest Bobby Miyamoto is here, everybody.
Was here this weekend opening for David Spade, as he often does, right?
And got David Spade to sign a copy of Tommy Boy on DVD.
Yeah.
And he wrote Housekeeping.
So that's neat.
Thank you for bringing that, Bobby.
I tried to get him to do Eight Heads and a Duffel Bag,
but we couldn't find a copy of it.
Lost and Found.
That would have been a good one, too.
I don't know if those exist.
I never made it to DVD.
I like that girl in Lost and Found.
She was a thing. She was cute, yeah.
Sophie Marceau, I think.
Braveheart, if I had to guess.
She's a Braveheart, right?
Really? Yeah, Braveheart, Lost and Found, and out.
But isn't that enough?
I think so.
I think it's plenty.
That's Jonah Ray, ladies and gentlemen.
Hello.
Thank you.
You've got a new program that's going to hit the Comedy Central airwaves next year called The Meltdown with Jonah and Kumail.
The Meltdown.
Yeah.
Watch it.
You're taping the shows when?
We start February 5th in Hollywood at the comic book store where we have our comedy show at.
That's why it's called The Meltdown because it's Meltdown Comics.
Exactly.
So if you're around, we're going to be doing every Wednesday in February two shows a night.
We already got some good people lined up to be on the show.
And so, yeah, if you're in Hollywood, go.
Yeah, come to a taping.
There's got to be a way you can Google it and get ticket information.
There will be.
I almost just gave out our producer's email.
No, just email Emily.
Emily at gmail.com. No, it's not real, so don't
do that. It probably is real. There's probably somebody
got in early on that one.
And then when's it expected to debut? Did you already
say that? No, I think it's
the spring or the summer. I'm not sure. Alright. Yeah. Because that's another way to debut? Did you already say that? No, I think it's like the spring or the summer.
I'm not sure.
All right.
Yeah.
Because that's another way to see it.
That's true.
You can just watch it on the TV.
Wait for it to happen on TV.
Yeah.
Graham Elwood is here, everybody.
What's up, Tempe?
LA, warm from Arizona, eh?
Right? This is how you guys talk? It't from Arizona, eh?
Right?
This is how you guys talk?
It's a draw, hey?
There's nothing like the Tempe accent.
It's really a pleasure to be hanging out in this town.
So different from the Phoenix accent,
which goes like this.
Phoenix is like, L.A. won't from Phoenix.
What if a guy from Phoenix and Tempe talked to each other at a dentist's office?
And Arnold Schwarzenegger was their dentist.
What? That would make no sense.
What a stupid dentist's office that would be.
I'm going to drill you.
Good night.
Good night.
Graham brought a copy of Comedy Film Guide Nerds to Movies.
The Comedy Guide to Movies Film Nerds.
And that's how I read things.
I can't, I'm not good with that.
But lots of funny people in this book.
And also, I believe you'll have copies for sale in the lobby.
Yeah. And I just noticed, have copies for sale in the lobby. Yeah.
And I just noticed, look at that right there, Jonah.
Doesn't that look like Jack Skellington's face at the top of that tie?
It does.
Oh, you guys should see it.
You just experienced what it's going to be like to listen to this.
I guess they're just going to have to buy a copy.
Hey.
No looky-loos out at the table
to see the Jack Skellington face.
And
speaking of faces, Graham
is brought, these are hot off the presses,
brand new, Whistling Bane
shirts.
And on the back, it's got the tour dates.
Places like the Kremlin and the Roman Coliseum.
We've got some big dates coming up.
And the cafeteria at the University of South Dakota in Vermilion, South Dakota.
It's a lot faster than it sounds.
Yeah.
It's a brilliant thing, the Whistling Banes, because it's bringing together two things that people are sick of.
That's my wheelhouse!
Oh, and Bobby brought the
giant bag of gummy bears.
The disgustingly
heavy gummy bears.
You've probably heard Bobby Miyamoto on the Todd Glass
show. Did you guys know that's
the same guy? That's right.
Those of you that have four or five hours to kill every week,
listen to the Todd Glass Show.
And then he goes back to his house and keeps going with it.
Yeah.
What if I just kept on podcasting?
He does.
I don't think Todd should do anything off mic.
I think he should podcast his entire existence
because he's so damn funny.
Oh, and also, I mean, it's too late for...
I mean, you guys can check it out when you get home tonight,
but our friend Brody Stevens' new show
debuts tonight on Comedy Central.
Yeah.
So, enjoy it.
Enjoy it.
That's what it's called, right?
Yeah, I think so, right?
Or that's in the ads.
Well, no, he has like a web show called Enjoy It.
No, Push Believe is his web show.
Enjoy It is his TV show.
Yeah, okay, yeah.
Glad we cleared that up.
Oh, our French show that we want people to watch?
I'm glad we cleared it up too, Doug.
Have you been to the movies lately, Jonah?
I saw Oldboy the other day.
Oh, you saw... New Oldboy, not Old Oldboy.
No, no, I saw New Oldboy, Spike Lee's Oldboy.
Is it really credited that way?
No.
Okay, good.
No, no.
That would be rough.
Yeah.
He came up with the whole thing.
I liked it.
I enjoyed it.
Compared to the original Oldboy?
You know what?
I realized I was really kind of out of it
the first time I saw the original Oldboy.
So I didn't really...
We locked in a weird room for 15 years.
It was the only thing that was on TV.
I think they changed the number of years he's locked up.
It was 20 in Spike Lee's.
Yeah, I think it was 15 in the first one.
Yeah.
Something like that.
That's the only change.
No, they changed a few things.
I haven't seen New Old Boy.
Yeah.
But that's certainly what I'm going to call it when I buy a ticket.
One for New Old Boy.
One for New Old Boy, please.
And I'm actually
looking forward to it
because I just finally
saw the old old boy
because I had never
seen it
and I thought
you know what
this time
I'm going to see
the original
right before I watch
the new one
that's a good idea
and then
because in that way
I can be especially
irritated with the new one
yeah
because I just saw
this fucking story
has anyone here seen old old boy of course they have can be especially irritated with the new one. Yeah. Because I just saw this fucking story.
Has anyone here seen Old Old Boy?
Of course they have.
That's why they made New Old Boy.
Yeah.
Came out ten years ago, I guess.
I felt real weird being aroused by that sex scene.
It was a real good sex scene. That is fucked up.
That is so fucked up.
He doesn't, not to spoil it for anybody,
but he doesn't sex up the Olsen girl
in this new one, right?
He does?
But it's not as,
there's a lot of nudity in the first old boy.
You get to see Olsen naked.
You do?
Yes.
Oh, I'm in.
I'm excited.
Yeah, the worst part about the movie, though,
was during the trailers
There was a trailer
For Grudge Match
Why do you gotta
Hold that against Oldboy?
No no no no
Completely different incidents
I'm talking about
The whole movie
Going experience stuff
Okay well
I don't like the part
Where they tell you
To buy gummy bears
That ruins every movie
For me
You'd rather them
Just give you
A pound of gummy bears?
Right What's your problem with Grudge Match?
No, it's like, I quite enjoyed the trailer,
but there's a thing that happens in a lot of theaters in L.A.
where there's a trailer for a movie,
and then someone in the theater has to let everybody know
their thoughts on it.
And so after the Grudge Match trailer was done,
there was a guy going,
Ugh!
And that man was Sylvester Stallone.
And he was just sitting down.
Ugh.
Ugh.
I just got here.
Did it make you go, ugh?
Because I have mixed feelings about it.
No, it looks like a fun,
it looks like a romp.
It's got fucking Alan Arkin in it.
I love Alan Arkin.
Kevin Hart's running around being all small.
Yeah.
Why do you got to play him like that?
Yeah, it looks like it's going to be fun.
I don't give a shit.
Christmas Day.
It'll take up two hours of my life that I don't have to think about myself.
Fucking vacation.
Have to get away. I'll think about
myself while I'm watching it because I'll be like, I'm too old to
fight too.
I've got something in common with these
guys.
Bobby, have you been to the cinema lately?
I have. I've seen Hunger Games
2 and Delivery Man.
Delivery Man? Yeah.
Why? Hunger Games 2.
Which one? Why?
Both of them.
You're a grown man.
And Vince Vaughn is finished.
Hunger Games 2, a girl talked me into going.
And I didn't see Hunger Games 1 or read the books.
But I figured, like, I saw Karate Kid 2 before seeing 1.
Really?
How hard is it to figure out wax on, wax off?
First hour, I was lost.
But then I got up to speed and sat through the next two hours.
Have you seen Hunger Games 2?
I did. I saw the first one, of course.
Can I ask one question about Hunger Games 2?
Please, as long as it doesn't spoil anything,
because I know everybody in this crowd
and listening to this show
can't wait to see Hunger Games.
All right, it might spoil a little,
but it's not like an ending.
There's an old lady, right?
Oh, Jesus!
I was really hoping it was all young people.
Why did they not have her contribute something
to justify her as an ally?
Right, because she...
Do you understand what I'm saying? Anybody?
I was baffled by the fact that there was an old person
because I thought old people would be ineligible.
I thought it was like American Idol.
She brought nothing to the table.
She had no skills. They had to carry her.
She was always like,
I gotta eat something.
She just hung on his back the whole
goddamn time.
It was weird. It was a very odd twist.
It was kind of like, why wouldn't they
just kill her?
Why wouldn't they just be like, hey old lady, you're going to lose.
You shoot her with a fart gun.
Yeah, shoot her with a fart gun and call it a day.
My beef with that movie,
and it's amongst several beefs,
but the one that just sprang to mind
was the way that
there's a game master
who like is fixing the game
and adding elements and stuff.
Like in the first one,
there was some fucking wild dogs or some shit
and a hornet that could sting you to death.
And it's just like,
isn't children trying to kill each other
in the woods enough?
Like, isn't that the fucking game?
It was for Battle Royale. That was enough for me. Yeah, Battle
Royale doesn't have... And now the death
fog is coming.
Everybody run from the death fog.
Is that real? Yes!
That was like a joke in The Simpsons.
There's this fog rolls
in and it makes everybody's faces get all
bubbly and weird and
it's like, I guess it's
supposed to kill them, but
I forget if it killed anybody, but it's just
I don't know. They're weird
ass movies. I liked Philip Seymour Hoffman
because he clearly said
I'll be in the movie if I don't have to have a stupid
wig and a stupid outfit.
He's got a very dignified outfit.
He's got a little bit of a purple sash
in there.
But man, that name that he has
Plutarch Heavensby
is that the name?
it sounds like you're fucking with me
it all sounds so fake
if somebody described The Hunger Games to somebody who'd never heard of it
or knew what it was about they'd just be like shut up
even to say
Philip Seymour Hoffman is in it I was about to go
bullshit he wouldn't do that.
No, he's in it.
And he's my favorite part of it
because he's,
to me,
he's the most interesting
aspect of the new one.
Wes Bentley
is the game maker
in the first one.
Just had a weird beard
and was stupid.
Hey, is Kravitz back?
Who, what?
Lenny Kravitz?
Yeah, he's back.
All right.
I'm seeing that.
Yeah.
First time I saw The Hunger Games was when we interrupted it.
Yeah, well, that's the best way to see it.
All right, then I'll wait.
Yeah, the whole time I was watching it, the part two, I was just like,
oh, I should have just waited and interrupted this later.
But, you know, it's such a big deal.
It had the fourth highest second weekend gross in the history
of movies after Titanic,
Avatar, and Dark Knight.
Oh, Jesus.
No, I'm sorry. Avengers, not Titanic.
I'm not impressed anymore.
Graham, what have you seen?
Oh, wait, wait, wait. I'm sorry.
Don't mean to
hold you up there, Graham.
Do you have anywhere to go, Graham?
What?
Can you hang out for the whole show?
Yeah, I guess.
Yeah, I'm going to hang out.
Bobby, Delivery Man, how did that work out for you?
You know, I liked it better than most people did, I think.
I thought it was going to be like...
I think people just aren't going to it.
I think those that go probably like it just fine.
I thought it was going to be like a real over people just aren't going to it. I think those that go probably like it just fine. I thought it was going to be like
a real over-the-top,
which it wasn't. Like the movie
Over the Top, where he has to take
all the kids that he's a father to
on an arm wrestle
all of your children. That's why he has the big rig
to fit all the kids in it.
Then I was thinking
maybe it would have been funnier
if they did that, because they had really serious stuff.
Have you seen Delivery Man?
Mm-mm.
Has anyone?
What about the crickets?
Anybody see the French version of it?
Yeah, that was called Starbuck.
Yeah.
And I did not see that either.
Maybe I'll do the same thing I'm doing with Oldboy.
Maybe I'll watch Starbuck and Deliveryman
in close proximity.
Ruin both of them.
There was a scene in Deliveryman that I thought was interesting,
but if no one's seen the movie,
I guess there's no need to talk about it.
Well, no one's gonna see it,
so you should talk about it.
No, anyway, one of his kids,
he goes and he's trying to help his kids out
like be their guardian angel.
And one girl, she does a heroin overdose.
She gets taken to the hospital.
Yeah, it's true.
She gets taken to the hospital and...
All the best Vince Vaughn comedies
have heroin overdoses on them.
You gotta get clean.
You're so money.
She said that...
She doesn't know that's her dad,
but she's trying to convince people that he was just the pizza man,
is how he set it up.
And people at the hospital said she can't leave
unless your father signs the release,
and they're trying to have Vince Vaughn put her in rehab,
like in a recovery program, and she's saying she got a new job.
She didn't want to go to rehab.
So Vince Vaughn was faced with the dilemma.
Should I keep her in rehab
or let her go and get the new
job, and then she won't be a heroin addict anymore?
And guess what he did?
I'm not going to spoil it.
Go!
Wait, why'd you even bring this up if you're not
going to tell us
what he did?
That was the scene that I thought was interesting, because I was wondering what I would have done in that situation.
Oh, okay.
What would you have done?
And is it the same as what Vince Vaughn did?
No.
I would have walked away.
Completely?
Yeah.
There was a third option?
All right, well, Vince Vaughn said, let her go.
He released her.
And she promised she wouldn't do heroin anymore,
and that was good enough for him.
It's pretty easy to kick
as long as you put your mind to it.
Oh, thank you. That's for me?
Yes, it is. I made it myself.
Oh, my God.
The crack staff here at the improv,
I didn't even have to make this noise.
Usually I do that. Oh, she's going to take the
empty. This is amazing. Thank you, Megan.
All right, Graham.
Let's hear it. What have you seen? You see everything.
Most everything. You skip things. You're not going to
see Frozen, the cartoon about the
headless snowman.
Chris Mancini will see that because he has kids and he'll see it
and we'll talk about that. He's your comedy film nerd's cohort.
Yes. So he'll see that. I saw
a lot. I saw Old Boy.
I saw, which I just was like, this is
fucked up.
Because you hadn't seen the original Old Boy. Had not seen the original
because I had heard about it when it came out. When it came
out, I was like, I don't know that I ever need to see
that in my life. And then a friend's like,
let's see Old Boy. I was like, okay, great. And I was like, ah don't know that I ever need to see that in my life. And then a friend's like, let's see Oldboy. I was like, okay, great.
I was like, ah, this is the fucking worst thing ever.
Why aren't I watching
Delivery Man with Bobby?
Alone
in a theater, me and Bobby.
Just sitting there going, what would you do?
Would you do that? Would you do that?
Would you go back to pizza? Would you let her do that?
Bobby, you'd walk away. You'd walk away.
If I know Bobby, you'd walk away.
Just fucking leave her. It's her own problem.
She's not going to get clean no matter how you help.
Yeah, it's too bad that in Delivery Man,
the third option with the heroin girl
wasn't taking out all of her teeth with a hammer.
Wow.
Old boy two 2 sounds like
that I saw
I saw Nebraska
as well
how is that
it's
Bruce turns very good
in it
you know
it's
what a weird
cop out way
to say something
about a movie
how's that movie
one guy's good
well it's kind of
like a showcase
for him almost
like that's
it really is
like you know it's his it's kind of like a showcase for him almost. It really is like, you know, it's his thing.
Yeah.
Mostly.
It's kind of like saying about that movie Philomena.
Some people call it Philomena, but it's...
Philoma?
Philomena.
Philomena tubes?
And like that's...
Steve Coogan's good in it, but it's like a Judi Dench vehicle.
And that's what's sort of going on with Nebraska. It's like there's good in it, but it's like a Judi Dench vehicle. And that's what's sort of going on with Nebraska.
There's good supporting characters, and it's got some funny parts,
but it's a pretty serious movie.
Yeah, it is a pretty serious movie, and sometimes it gets a little,
I don't know, I felt like it was a little too much,
I'll go into more depth, comedy film nerds podcast.
Are you guys going to do a spoiler edition of Nebraska?
Yeah, we're going to do a Nebraska spoiler alert.
Yeah, he's trying to get to Nebraska.
Yeah, I don't know.
Jonah was shocked
because he thought it took place in Nebraska.
Spoiler alert!
God damn it!
Yeah, I'll go into it on the show because I'm going to get all nerdy.
And I saw Saving Mr. Banks, which is like...
Wow, you saw that early.
Yeah, yeah.
Some sort of special...
Guilt screening.
Nice.
That doesn't come out until Christmas Day, I think.
Did you like it?
Yeah, I did.
It's everything you'd think it would be.
It's great.
They're both great.
That's what my problem is.
When I saw the trailer, I kind of thought, everything you'd think it would be. It's great. They're both great. That's what my problem is. When I saw the trailer,
I kind of thought, maybe they just encapsulated
it quite nicely, and I don't need to bother.
Because you know the movie comes out.
It just seems like Emma Thompson's character
doesn't like the Mary Poppins movie,
and bitches about...
For us, it's like going and watching a movie
that just reminds us of how shitty
executives are with their notes and stuff.
You know what I mean?
Like all of her unreasonable demands.
Like it seems aggravating to me.
Is Tom Hanks in it a lot?
Yeah.
Why are they pushing him for supporting actor?
Because it is her, I mean.
To make way for him to get nominated for best actor for Captain Phillips, that's why.
Yeah.
Jerks. But this isn't, it for Captain Phillips, that's why. Yeah. Jerks.
But this isn't...
It's her movie.
It's not his movie.
It's her...
Right, he's not Mr. Banks.
No.
Mr. Banks is Colin Farrell.
Yes.
I have not seen the film.
Vince Vaughn is a delivery man.
Who gives a shit what happens?
Don't need to see it.
He's got kids and he delivers them.
I don't fucking care.
What's your movie to recommend right now?
Like, what's the one that you like the most
that's out there right now?
I don't know, man.
Like, nothing's really...
It's not popping for you?
No.
12 Years a Slave?
That's good.
Laugh Riot?
Laugh Riot, yeah.
Comedy of the year. Family film? It's a family film? That's good. Laugh Riot? Laugh Riot, yeah. Comedy of the Year?
Family film?
It's a family film?
Django Rechained?
Hashtag Django Rechained, ladies and gentlemen.
Your first hashtag of the evening.
I'm going to get somebody on Twitter.
I wrote that and you saw it.
Because I think I've seen that before.
Django rechained.
Boom, boom.
God, there's got to be something that you could just say like,
this is the movie.
Like, what's your movie of the year?
Is it from earlier in the year?
Yeah, I don't know.
Or do you think it's been a shit year?
I'd say Dallas Buyers Club at this point.
I like that.
That's a very good film.
That was really good.
It looks really good.
But again, a little showcase-y for Matthew McConaughey.
It's kind of a one-man show.
There's lots of other good characters, but it really is all about him and his character.
Yeah, but everyone, like Jared Leto and Jennifer Garner.
You know what I mean?
It's going to get that position at the Oscars where he gets nominated jared leto gets nominated right or leto and then
um the movie itself might not get the best picture nod because the acting is phenomenal but like the
movie is you know some people might have issues with with some of it i don't know that's an
interesting question i i think i don't with think... With the 10 best picture thing,
I think it'll get one.
It just seems like Gravity and 12 Years a Slave
are the two movies to beat.
Sure.
And that's probably my favorite movie of the year is Gravity.
Gravity's great. I like Gravity.
I like Captain Phillips, you know?
So, I like all those movies.
You love movies.
That's why I have you on, Doug Loves Movies. I love it. I love movies. So we can love them together. The I have you on Doug Loves Movies.
So we can love them together.
The show's not called Graham Loves Movies.
No, he could come in and hate everything.
It's true. That's true.
But he's a good sport. I like most movies I see.
Really? Yeah, that's why I have a hard time
seeing movies with friends. You have Jeff Tate disease.
Yeah, he liked Lone Ranger.
You know, I saw
Lone Ranger on a plane,
and I did not turn it off.
I wish they were going to make more of them and that that was the title of the sequel.
Lone Ranger on a plane.
Lone Ranger in space, of course.
Machete kills in space.
Loneanger space horse
Oh me um fly em and space em
Talk em alien
You guys we're way behind
Horses of course
Of course of course
More
I don't know what you want what do you want more of?
Just stuff.
Oh, my space horse.
Good job, improv.
Put the drunkest guy right next to me.
I just like things.
It's the same guy who called bullshit earlier.
He doesn't know what he's talking about
He's just like bullshit
He's still talking as we speak
Of course he is
Yeah I wish he'd shut up
I wish there was some sort of subtle way I could tell him to fucking shut up
I wish that was
I'm trying to be professional
And keep the show going
Instead of telling this guy to shut his goddamn pie hole
If you were here right now, Doug,
what would you say to him?
I'd say, please be quiet
like everyone else.
Laughter, occasional applause,
and silence.
That's what I want from you.
Okay, let's role play.
Say I'm a stupid piece of shit
that got too drunk
and is yelling out stuff.
Now, you play Doug Benson.
I don't even know for sure
that he's too drunk.
He just might be from Gila Bend.
Oh, no, you did not, sir.
Local reference, ladies and gentlemen.
Making them hot and fresh.
I didn't know what that was,
but I knew it was a local reference.
All right, well, let's...
He must hang out on Main Street.
Yeah, these guys know what I'm talking about.
Real Main Street kind of guy.
Wow.
That's a pretty safe bet when you're touring the country,
that every place has a Main Street.
I was driving down first.
Right?
Even the smallest towns have first.
They might not have second street.
All right, let's do this.
Let's get to the games portion.
Let the games begin!
Take control, Tappy.
Take control.
Take control.
What a lovely, lovely drunk.
Oh, say can you see?
I can't sing as high as that little kid.
Ladies and gentlemen, there's lots of great name tags
So please reveal them now
Show us your name tags
And gentlemen
Pick your name tags
And while you do that
We'll do this, we'll be right back
And we're back
Everything's fun all the time
Who are you playing for Jonah? I'm playing for a duo known as things fun all the time.
Who are you playing for, Jonah?
I'm playing for a duo known as Ben and Sean.
Here, hold that up for me so I get a nice shot
for the Vine
viewers and Twitter viewers.
They have an Adventure Time themed thing.
Yeah, I love it.
I did a voice on Adventure Time recently.
You did? Which one of these were you?
None of them. I was a B, B number one.
Oh, were you like,
try an A so next.
Bobby.
Andy boy.
Oh, very nice.
Knock off a Tommy boy.
Yeah, I get it.
You figured that out?
That's pretty good, yeah.
Doesn't the Andy look like a young Bobby Miyamoto?
Like, his...
Things have gone my way. He looks like a now Bobby Miyamoto.
And Graham,
what do you got going on? This young lady, Emma,
put her name tag and a
coconut water on
a little
viewfinder of, like, a Super 8
thing.
What the fuck?
And her name tag, or her shithead is awesome.
Okay, well, in that case, I hope you lose.
Then we'll get to hear it at the end.
If you screw this up, Graham.
All right.
Hey.
What?
You earned those electrolytes?
Yeah.
You might want to check that expiration date. Yeah, this hasn't been like sitting in your car, Emma, has it?
All right.
You didn't put a roofie in there, did you?
Because you don't have to roofie me, Emma.
I'm kind of a sure thing.
See that, guys?
Closing deals from the stage.
Really? You're going to have sex with her?
Wow, that's not what I meant.
Jesus, what are you talking about?
He's closing a deal on a nice piece of property.
Yeah, oh my God, she's my realtor.
What the fuck are you thinking?
We're going to have sex in my new house.
What the fuck are you talking about?
Now, Emma, did you devise that name tag
specifically because you thought Graham Elwood might be here?
Clever.
Were you here at the last show we did here?
Did you do it then?
Is this the same coconut water from the last time
when I wasn't here?
I'll just keep bringing
this bullshit out
until Graham shows up.
Well, good job, Emma.
Because he might not
have been here.
If it was up to me.
I wish I booked this show,
but the guy who books it
loves Graham.
So he's on it all the time.
The guy who books your friendship?
Yeah.
He books people for me to hang out with.
Designated drivers and whatnot.
Let's play Build a Title, you guys.
Okay.
Okay.
Like I said earlier,
I have not seen the new Oldboy,
but I did see Old Oldboy, and I dug it.
So let's play Build-A-Title, starting with Oldboy.
And let's start down on the end there with Graham.
Just add something to Oldboy.
Oldboy Interrupted.
All right, so you're out. You're out.
Graham is out.
Oldboy Scout. I was making a joke. It was Girl Inter out. Graham is out. Old Boy Scout.
I was making a joke.
It was Girl Interrupted, and I said Old Boy Scout.
Good joke, Graham.
Wait, wait, what?
What's your alternate choice?
Boy Scout.
That's also wrong.
No.
There's no movie called Boy Scout.
It started Leif Garrett, came out in 1976.
Leif Garrett was in a theatrical motion picture that was not called The Outsiders?
Yes.
You liar.
No, he was in it, and he played a kid.
Dan Haggerty was his dad.
Yeah, this sounds like some TV movie shit right here.
Yeah, sounds like a TV movie.
If only there were a way for us to...
Oh, a hand shit. Yeah, it sounds like a TV movie. If only there were a way for us to... Oh, a hand computer. Yeah.
Jane Fonda had a real small part in it.
She was like the schoolmaster.
What the hell are you talking
about? I mean, you're already
out. It doesn't matter.
Because you said boy interrupted, and I can't
stop laughing about that.
And unfortunately, Leonard Maltin
does not confirm that that movie exists. Well, Leonard Maltin does not confirm that that movie exists.
Well, Leonard Maltin's wrong.
We'll go deeper. We'll go IMDb.
It's in there.
I always like to check with Len first, but
IMDb will let us know
what kind of shitty TV movie it was.
Is that scene where they're on the go-kart track and he hits the quicksand?
Remember because quicksand was big in the 70s?
I watch a lot of movies.
What year did you claim this happened the 70s? I watch a lot of movies. What year did you claim
this happened?
70s?
76, I think.
77.
Okay.
No such thing on IMDb.
This coconut water's great.
I just like...
It's like tickling my throat.
There was a movie in 1937
called Tex Rides with the Boy Scouts.
Oh, that hour.
This was the remake.
This was the reimagining of it.
Leif Garrett plays a young Tex,
and I can't believe you guys
haven't seen this.
Jesus, this is like
the godfather of Boy Scout movies.
Maybe it was called The Story of a Boy Scout?
Yeah.
No.
The original title, but then they...
It was like, remember Revenge of the Jedi?
And then they changed it to Return
because Jedis can't have revenge.
It was like that.
There was a 2003 movie called The Nuclear Boy Scout.
That sounds like an awesome movie.
Leif Garrett comes back,
and he's had an atomic accident
and now he's got superpowers
and that should have won
an Oscar that year.
I think it was nominated.
Was it nominated?
All right, thanks for playing, Graham.
I mean, I give you
an A for effort.
Really, An A?
Mm-hmm.
He tried really hard to push that through.
That's right.
Yeah.
Bobby, what do you got?
Ends with old or begins with boy?
It's what?
You need a title that ends with old or begins with boy.
And you can drop the the if there's a the in there.
Old boy Yeller.
All right, so you're out.
Jonah.
Wait a minute.
Old Boy Yeller.
That starred Burt Reynolds.
And he was a dog cop.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Like a cop who turns into a dog?
Yeah, yeah. And he
has a kid and the kid
solves the crime. Dog cop and a half?
Yeah, dog. Well, this is the original.
This is the prequel to dog cop
and a half. Yeah.
Old boy yeller. Yeah, yeah.
So I think Bobby's still in. I think we're both
still in, really, if you look it up.
I think the star of Drunk Yeller is here tonight.
Ha, ha, if you look it up. I think the star of Drunk Yeller is here tonight.
I apologize, Bobby.
I would have explained this game to you backstage.
You said that you listen to the podcast,
so I just assumed that you... Maybe this game wasn't in the episodes you listen to.
Yeah, yeah, we don't play it all the time,
so I apologize.
Jonah, for the win,
all you have to do is add one title
to Old Boy.
Old Boys to the Side Effects
to Wong Fu, thanks for the memories.
You know, I'm going to declare you
the ultimate loser for this overachiever. I you the ultimate loser for this overachiever.
I'm the first loser!
This overachiever bullshit.
I was sitting here the entire time.
I said add one title for the win, and then you had to really go nuts,
and you also said the first title incorrectly.
What'd I say?
It's called Boys on the Side, not To the Side.
So you're trying to show off, and then you blew it.
Boys. You know what, Doug?
Boys? It was fucking worth it.
Boys is a side item.
I think that's what it was called.
Boys to the Side? Boys
in a to-go dish? It's called Boys
on the Side. And I
know, because I don't know why
I would know that.
Doug, though, if you weren't being an asshole, it was pretty good, huh?
I think someone, did you see that movie?
Drew Barrymore and Whoopi?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The classic duo, Drew and Whoopi.
Doesn't somebody get their arm broken with a baseball bat in that movie?
I'm going to watch it now.
I think so.
We got this gentleman here that looks like he watches it on a loop.
It's confirming.
And it is called Boys on the Side.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So we have no winner of Build-A-Title.
But we also didn't have a game that was boring and dragged out for too long.
What?
First time no winner on this? I don't think so.
And I think you should join our drunk friend in the back.
Come on.
The question portion is at the end of the show
when I'm no longer on the stage.
You got a weird seat, too.
You could turn around, you know?
You don't have to sit looking over your shoulder at us.
That's a sassy seat.
Like there's something else going on over there
that might be as interesting.
No? Okay.
He didn't move.
He's happy with his position.
It's a nice position.
I like it.
I like the guy with the baggy shorts and the sandals.
It's Arizona.
It is.
Wait, what?
It's not?
Where are we?
Let's play the Seth Rogen game.
Yeah!
it's not. Where are we?
Let's play the Seth Rogen game.
AKA Last Man Stanton.
This is the game where we're going to get a suggestion from a nice
chill person
in the crowd.
And then we're going to
take turns
naming.
Now, we need an actor, an actress, or a director that has a large body of work,
and then the four of us, I'm going to play this one, too.
We're going to take turns.
We'll start with Graham again.
We're going to take turns naming movies
that that person was involved with.
I'm going to ask my friend here that knew Boys on the Side
to select one for us.
Who would you like us to play with tonight?
Just an actor, actress, or director
who has a huge body of work.
Does any of you remember who we did last time
I was here in Tempe?
Did we do it?
Matt Damon.
Lee Marvin?
No.
No, you can't, sir.
I fucking love that you're suggesting that,
but as the oldest panelist,
I would probably have an advantage.
And even at that, I might run out pretty fast.
Can someone give us Yahoo Serious?
Do you know the name of the movie he was in, Graham?
What, Lee Marvin?
Yahoo Serious.
If you went first on Yahoo Serious, what would you say? Oh movie he was in, Graham? What? Yahoo! Serious? If you went first on Yahoo!
Serious, what would you say?
Oh, it was called, um, wasn't it called, like, The Professor or something like that?
Yes.
It's called Young Einstein.
Young Einstein.
Who do you got instead?
Clint Eastwood.
Oh!
As a director or an actor.
Ooh!
This is gonna be interesting.
Oh!
Oh! All right, quit stalling, Noisemaker He already can't think of one
Boys in the side
No
I will say Dirty Harry
Dirty Harry?
He was in that?
Do we need to look that one up?
I don't know.
Yeah, Leif Garrett was the bad guy, and...
I don't have time.
I'm going to look that one up later.
I'm suspect of that one.
Go ahead, Bobby.
Make my day.
Unforgiven.
Good call.
Nice.
Best picture winner, I believe.
What do you got there, Jonah?
Trouble with the Curve.
Oh, terrible movies.
Do I lose again?
Is it Trouble with a Curve?
It's all about Amy Adams' body.
I'm going to go with The Gauntlet.
Ooh, nice.
Yeah. The non-dirty hairy cop movie.
He's not dirty hairy.
Everyone thinks it's a dirty hairy movie.
It's not.
He's a cop, and it takes place here in Phoenix.
And the name is...
No, no, he was talking about The Gauntlet.
Oh, shit, sorry.
Graham will give me trivia about the movie
prior to him having to see a movie
to give himself more time.
Graham. Heartbreak Ridge. prior to him having to see a movie to give himself more time. Graham?
Heartbreak Ridge.
Oh, that's a good one.
Classic.
Mario Van Peebles.
Bobby?
What was the one with the car?
Oh, yeah.
Don't say it. He's out, right? I'm pretty sure Lee Don't say it.
He's out, right?
I'm pretty sure Lee Marvin was in it.
What do you got, anything?
Clint Eastwood.
He's been making a movie a year as a director.
I can't think of it.
Don't.
He had a few cars.
I know which one you're thinking of, I think.
That just helped me for later.
That's all I'm focused.
It's on the tip of my tongue.
I can't think of it.
All right, we'll skip you and come back to you
when we play the next game.
Jonah?
Gran Torino.
Yeah.
That's a good one.
I'm so glad you fucked up.
I'm going to go with J. Edgar.
Flags of Our Fathers.
Oh, that's a nice one.
Suck it.
Jonah?
Oh, fuck.
There was that other one.
Dirty Harry 2.
Dirty Harry goes to college.
They didn't call it that.
They didn't call it that.
They had more imagination back then.
Dirtier Harry.
Dirtier and hairier Is that your final answer?
You really got nothing else?
You're going to make this a showdown between me and Graham?
I'd like to see that
And that's the only reason I'm seceding from the game
I could go on and on
About
These movies But I want to see this.
All right.
I say Magnum Force.
Nice.
I would say The Enforcer.
I would say The Deadpool.
Oh.
Da-ga-do-deadpool.
Da-ga-do-do-da.
There he goes.
Stalling for time.
Do you want to do your plugs real quick, Graham?
Let's see.
GrahamElwood.com and then Any Which Way But Loose.
Oh, shit.
An orangutan that fights.
Did he say any?
Pretty sure it's every.
No.
I'll give you that one, though.
Okay.
What?
What?
Nothing.
Well, I had to give him that one
because I wanted to say,
just to answer Bobby Miyamoto's question from earlier,
pink Cadillac.
Oh!
Oh!
But it's every which way but loose.
And then there was a sequel to that, of course.
Yeah.
Every which way you can.
Correct.
That's right, bitch.
Uh,
I'm gonna go with, uh,
City Heat.
Oh,
you crook sucker.
Um,
um,
uh,
that's,
uh,
play Misty for me.
Oh, nice.
Starring Leif Garrett.
How about The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly?
Oh, shit.
All right.
You want to go?
There, we can do that.
Yeah, I'll go spaghetti western on your ass.
Let's see.
How about...
Do you want to step outside for a second?
Sands of Iwo Jima.
Look at my shoes!
All right, let's say the title again,
because two wrong names is going to get you knocked out.
What's that?
What's it called?
Huh?
The movie.
Which one was this?
The one you just said.
What was this now?
It was, I believe it was a companion piece
to Flags of Our Fathers. Yeah.
And what was it called? We all know the title.
But like if you
had to say it out loud, like let's
say you were in a kind of a game show situation.
Iwo Jima.
You're going to have to add a few more words to that.
I said them.
Come on, Graham.
You can do it.
Come on, buddy.
Come on, Graham.
Shit.
What's it called?
All right, you're out.
It's just called Iwo Jima.
It's just called Iwo Jima.
No.
Iwo Jima the Reckoning.
No, no, no.
It's called...
Fuck.
Sons.
Letters.
Letters, yeah.
Letters, goddammit, that's right.
See, I had it wrong, too.
What's the rest of it?
Letters from Iwo Jima,
because it was the Japanese side of it.
Dammit, that's right.
I gave you that clue, I think.
And then I
will say for the win,
the changeling.
Nice, nice, nice call.
Nice, nice,
nice. And now, this is
the only part of the show where I want you guys to yell out answers.
Give it to us.
Hang them high.
High Plains Drifter.
High Plains Drifter.
Pale Rider 2.
Mules for Sister Sarah.
Mules for Sister Sarah.
I heard Dirtiest Harry, the third installment.
Andy Coffey.
Outlaw Josie Wales.
Outlaw Josie Wales.
Pardon?
Million Dollar Baby.
Mystic River.
Mystic River.
Oh, that fucking movie is a bummer.
I heard Boy Interrupted.
I heard that one over here.
That was another one that he directed, I believe.
Yep.
Boys From the Sun.
Boys From the Sun.
Million Dollar Baby.
Million Dollar Baby, of course.
Goddammit.
How could we forget that
are we in a coma
Million Dollar Adolescent
the sequel
well that was fun
that was totally fun
that was a great
that was a good time
that was great
Clint Eastwood was great
that was nice
good choice
it was a prime cut.
Better than the first thing.
Which, of course, is a Lee Marvin movie.
Okay, let's play...
Let's play the Leonard Maltin game.
Oh, shit!
Ben, Sean, I'm horrible at this game.
I'm sorry, you're not getting anything today.
Now, there's been three shows in the history of this podcast, I think,
or at least in the last few years of it,
where we did not play the Leonard Moulton game for various reasons.
And so, Bobby, I hope that those weren't the episodes you listened to.
Did you listen when Jeff Garlin, T.J. Miller, and Pete Holmes were on?
I think I'm up to scratch on Leonard Maltin.
I've been trying to reunite those three fellas,
and I tell you, it is hard,
because they've all got TV series
because of the popularity of their appearances on my podcast.
And so they're busy, but working on it.
Going to make it happen someday.
So let's continue to start with Graham, I guess.
Or no, since Bobby's never played before,
let's start with Bobby.
Let him pick the first category,
and then we'll go to Graham and then Jonah.
Because that's...
I don't know why.
You're trying to smoke me out?
I got no good reason,
other than Graham did do better than you in that last game.
Some of the audience just said,
who are you texting?
Because that's a pet peeve of mine,
is guests that ask me why I'm texting
when I'm looking up the Leonard Maltin game
on my app, the app on my phone.
Are you texting Leif Garrett?
Oh, from that movie?
Yeah, yeah.
Boy Interrupted?
Yeah.
I would love to know what movie you thought...
I mean, was that a make-em-up, or did you...
No, that was an actual thing.
Your fucking phone is dumb.
I don't know what's going on.
I should have bought a smartphone, not a dumb phone.
Yeah.
Get the iPhone 5, Doug.
Jesus.
You know, the salespeople, they just convinced me.
The salespeople?
When I went in to buy my smartphone, they're like,
have you seen the dumb phone?
It's made out of rubber.
Your friend Graham is going to love it.
I was like, how do you know Graham?
All right.
Bobby, would you like?
Oh, fuck.
I forgot to write down the person that suggested this.
I'll mention it next week or I'll call the corrections department.
But the category, because there's a good one for this show, he suggested.
Oh, maybe he's here tonight.
Where's the guy that the category is racing Arizona?
What's your Twitter handle?
Andy the G.
Just the letter G?
Okay, cool. He suggested Racing Arizona,
Bobby, and that's movies
where there's a race in a desert.
Or
celebrating a birthday today,
past and future guest Sarah Silverman.
So the films of Sarah Silverman.
And
Liberty Bell
is your third option, and that is
movies that have crack in them.
That is
fucking great.
This category's been hanging
out since we were last in Philadelphia.
What? It was suggested by we were last in Philadelphia. What?
It was suggested by Andy the G in Philadelphia.
He always comes to the shows all over the country
and suggests appropriate categories.
Crack the drug.
You want the crack?
Oh, no, you're just asking?
Yeah, yeah.
Not like cracks in a sidewalk,
because that would be a lot of movies.
And not wisecracks. Hell. Because that would be a lot of movies. And not wise cracks.
Hell.
Because that would be quite a few as well.
It's good fellas.
What was the Clint Eastwood movie with the tsunami?
Here After.
Here After.
I kept wanting to call it Afterbirth.
Which category would you like to play, Bobby?
Crack.
Of course.
Liberty Bell, sir.
Would you like a movie that's got crack in it
from 2004 or 2011?
Let's go 04.
Okay, and in both cases,
I personally cannot confirm
that these movies had crack in them
because that's not really
what they were about. But I looked
it up on the internet and I was like, well, if you say there's crack
in there, then
I'm going to go along with that.
Okay. And we'll find
out from the audience if I'm wrong. Two and a half
stars for this movie from
2004.
Graham is doing 2004. Grandma's doing sign language.
I always give some treats for the studio audience.
Leonard says this movie is about a drug dealer,
so that's probably why there's crack in it.
He says that it's...
It indulges in look-at-me camera shots that add nothing.
Yeah, those directors with their whole look-at-me attitude.
And it was also adapted from a novel.
And Leonard lists ten names.
How many names do you think you can get it in?
Bobby Miyamoto?
I'll go nine.
Ooh, he did listen to some episodes.
Graham?
I will go seven.
Oh, you've heard the show, too.
Jonah.
I'll go...
What did you just say?
I said...
C-H-U-G-H-H-H-H.
You're Sylvester Stallone?
Oh, God.
Five names.
Five?
Came to play.
Going balls out, guys.
You don't take an hour flight from LAX to Sky Harbor
to come here and fuck around.
I'm not here to make friends, Doug.
Graham.
I mean, Bobby, I'm sorry.
So, name it.
Yeah.
Oh, you get the five names.
Jonah, do you want the clues again?
Yes, and also, fuck you, Bobby.
I think first-time player Bobby's about to get his first point.
Yeah.
I mean, what did you think was gonna happen, Jonah?
I just, I wanna have fun and play the game.
I don't wanna fucking chicken out like these assholes.
Fucking playing it politically.
Oh, make the other guy do it.
I'm a fucking man.
Boys on my side.
A man could say six names.
He didn't have to knock two off, but, you know, I appreciate it.
It sounds like a good number.
Two and a half stars.
Two and a half stars.
2004.
It's got a drug dealer in it.
Probably some crack.
Let's not focus too much on the crack, though.
Okay, just stop saying the word, then.
It's got...
The movie indulges in
look at my crack camera shots,
and it's based on a crack novel.
And your five names
are Jason Fleming.
Oh, fuck, really?
Why are you reacting that way?
That's a bad thing?
I don't know who that is.
Okay.
Have you heard of Tom Hardy?
Yes.
Marcel Lour Hardy? Yes. Marcel Lures?
No.
Or no, not Lures.
I-U-R-E-S.
How's that pronounced?
Ears?
Still no.
Yeah.
Michael Gambon?
No.
You've heard of him?
I have?
Yeah.
He took over for, what's his name in Harry Potter?
No. Yeah. You don over for, what's his name, in Harry Potter. Nope. Yeah.
You don't watch the Harry Potter movies?
Uh-uh. Really? No.
Well, maybe you should switch to
contacts.
Wait, what?
Because you look like you watch Harry Potter movies.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Because glasses didn't exist
Before the Harry Potter fucking movies
I'm just saying
You're a big nerd
You sure am
Sienna Miller, you know her
You've jerked off to her a few times
Oh, you better believe it
Those are your five names, buddy
Oh, that's it?
Now, I remember...
Yeah, talk us through it.
The gossip
behind this movie
that Tom Hardy
and Santa Miller
actually had an affair
during this movie.
They got paparazzoed.
Paparazzo?
Paparazzoed on the balcony
canoodling
during this
because I remember
I would go to a gossip site
because I had a picture go to a gossip site because I had
a picture of Sienna Miller naked.
And the name
of the movie... I just remembered
he plays Michael Gambon
plays Gandalf
in the Harry Potter movies.
See? No glasses.
Okay. LASIK!
Alright, go.
Okay. LASIK!
All right, go.
You saw the paparazzo canoodling?
No, I'm just remembering the naked pictures of Sienna Miller.
And I got nothing.
Because she was, like, topless on a boat, right?
Yeah.
Nice. Yeah.
I've seen her in a play, and I've seen a lot of her movies.
She's very talented, but she's so pretty
that it's hard to be a character actress when you're that pretty
yeah it's a bummer for her to be so pretty
yeah
no guess at all?
nope
it's not the fantastic Mr. Ripley
does it help you at all if I told you
and of course it's too late for you to get the point
but would it help you if I told you it was directed by
Matthew Vaughn who went on to get the point, but would it help you if I told you it was directed by Matthew Vaughn?
No.
Who went on to do Kick-Ass?
Oh, no, it won't.
And the motion picture is called Layer Cake.
Layer Cake, starring Daniel Craig.
Yeah, so Bobby Miyamoto's on the board!
All right.
I'm sorry, Ben and Sean.
No, people are very supportive of you.
Don't feel bad.
They like your shirt.
Thanks, it's a sweater, asshole.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Thank you.
This is a very nice crowd.
There's no reason to turn on them. He was talking to me. I said shirt also I'm sorry. Thank you. This is a very nice crowd. There's no reason to turn on him.
He was talking to me.
I said shirt also.
All right.
Graham gets to pick the next category.
You got it.
And then... Book it.
Then we'll go to Bobby.
And then probably just skip Jonah altogether.
Really?
Yeah, you're being mean.
Oh, you're being mean. Oh, you're being mean.
It's a joke.
Huh?
I'm going to give you one negative point.
Okay.
Don't call people in the audience an asshole.
Just kick them out to the back of the fucking room.
Thanks, Graham.
That happened during the commercial.
During the commercials, that's my TCB time.
Would you like...
Some people listening are like, what happened? Did they just kill people?
We execute one lucky fan during the commercial.
No, you said kick him to the back of the room.
There was a gentleman who was a little too inebriated,
very close to the stage for the listeners.
I'll recap the story.
He was talking to me a lot, and I'm easily distracted.
What?
And would you like, Graham Elwood?
Yes, sir.
Shut the fuck up, Donnie. I'm just guessing that's the drunk's name. Would you like, Graham Elwood Yes sir Shut the fuck up Donnie I'm just guessing that's the drunk's name
Would you like
No, it's called Shut the fuck up Donnie
Because it's movies where Steve Buscemi dies
Okay
Movies where Buscemi kicks the bucket
Or would you like
Glad he ate her
Or
It could also be pronounced gladiator.
And that's movies
that have cannibals in them.
Or just one. Doesn't have to be
a lot of cannibals.
And speaking of eating weird things,
at I Eat Your Dog
suggested
we are farmers.
And that of course is movies that have sheep in them.
I have not brushed up on my sheep film trivia,
so I think I will go with the Steve Buscemi one.
Okay.
All right.
You picked it.
Three and a half stars from Leonard.
1996.
96 is the year.
He says this movie is...
Compliments the acting.
He says one of the actors is terrific,
and he says another one is equally good.
It's like, not as pretty as you, but still cute.
He says he loves that Muzak in the background,
so I guess at some point there's Muzak in the background.
And he also says this movie is totally disarming.
And yeah, if you see it,
your arms will be taken away.
And he lists
ten names.
Negative one.
Big Dick Swingin'.
All right, Bobby. what are you going to do
with that?
Have you heard
episodes where
negative bidding comes into play? No.
Okay, here's how it works. He says
negative once. That means he has to name the movie
and the top billed performer
in that movie. So if you go negative two,
you have to name the top two
and the title of the movie
or three or four,
as deep as you want to go.
But you have to go negative
and now we're naming
from the top billed person.
And they got to be
in correct order
if you go down.
I can't.
The order according
to Leonard Moulton,
so that's always a crapshoot.
But I can only go negative one.
No, you could do it.
I don't know.
But Bobby, look at it this way.
If I'm wrong, you win.
Ooh, Bobby.
Oh, that's right.
He's got a point.
So if I'm wrong, I think I've got this guess down,
but maybe I'm wrong.
You could do it, Bobby.
I have to name two top two build.
And the title of the film.
Something you're capable of.
I might as well.
Really angling for that point.
Jonah, why are you so anxious
for this to be over?
Because if Bobby does it successfully,
then the game will be over.
Oh, no, I'm sorry.
I'm just...
You asshole.
He just hurt me.
He hurt me.
I can't do two stars.
I think I have a hunch on one,
but I can't do it.
All right, Graham Elwood, name the movie and the top-billed person.
Is it Fargo and is it Frances McDormand?
Correct and correct.
Correct.
Graham is celebrating as a bodybuilder in what seems to be a featherweight
bodybuilding competition.
That is the aggressive Hitler
he was just doing.
That's what it's called, the aggressive
Hitler. Those are the names.
The aggressive Hitler. That was
the soft Mussolini.
We're going
into the pole pot.
Did you think it was Fargo, Bobby?
No, I thought it might be
Tree's Lounge.
He's killed in that?
Doesn't he die at the end?
Spoiler.
He directed it
so I hope he was alive to direct the rest of the movie.
But I heard he dies on to direct the rest of the movie. But I heard
he dies on tonight's Boardwalk Empire.
Wow, that's
cool. That's awesome.
That'd be weird.
He's the character they can't kill, right?
Graham Elwood is on the board, you guys.
Boom. That one's
for you, Phoenix.
But next time, if you get another point,
I will take it away for excessive showboating in the end zone.
Oh, so we're laying out,
you're just getting ready with all these bullshit rules
for 12 guests at Christmas.
Is that what you're doing?
Just getting ready with all this stuff?
When ASU is playing a game at the Sun Devil Stadium,
do you guys just not even go or watch it on TV
and just know that they scored every time there's fireworks?
It's crazy.
All right.
But it's on delay.
The problem is the game is on delay, so you'll hear the fireworks.
Oh, yes.
That's why you can't be watching it near it.
You can't be near it and watching it.
Jonah gets to pick the next category, if I'm not mistaken,
because you were left out of that skirmish.
Sure was, Doug.
Gave me a lot of time to reflect.
I'm sorry, Ben and Sean.
For my outburst earlier, I'm changed.
And then it's going to come back at you, Bobby.
So, Jonah, this is your chance to create a three-way tie
Which we always love on this show
I love three-ways
No, three-way tie
Oh, it's a three-way between three dudes
That's what I'm talking about
Because they're all, it's not casual Friday
Would you like at bottom of queue
suggested France says
ha, and that's
the films of Jerry Lewis.
You're already shaking your head like that
might not be picked.
Or, beat me up
Scotty.
That's films where Simon Pegg hits someone.
That's a great category.
I like it.
Or your third option, Breaking Bad.
And that's movies with white, pink, or man in the title.
Oh.
Yeah.
I'm going to do Beat Me Up, Scotty.
Okay.
No?
You guys want another one?
Whatever you guys want.
So this is where
Simon Pegg gets punched
in the face.
No, when he punches someone.
He punches somebody.
He punches someone.
Hits someone.
It's a fun one.
Three stars
from Leonard Maltin
for this movie
from 2007.
He says this movie is...
The lead character in this movie
decides to do something for which he's ill-prepared.
The lead actor in this movie
co-wrote this movie with another
famous person
and
it's the feature directing debut
of yet another
famous person
and Leonard
lists
nine names
nine names how many Jonah? I can name that movie 9 names 9 names
How many Jonah?
I can name that movie
And how many names?
Zero names you're saying?
Zero names
I smell a three way tie coming
What are you going to do about that Bobby?
Name it
Do you want the clues again?
Run fat boy run That's correct that, Bobby. Name it. Do you want the clues again or are you just going to...
Run, Fatboy, Run. That's correct!
Directed by David Swimmer
of Grand Spain.
Three-way tie.
David Swimmer from
The Pole Bearer.
And Simon... Ladies and gentlemen, three-way tie.
Simon Pegg himself co-wrote
it with Michael Ian Black.
That's right.
It's what Leonard says.
What was the second name?
Hmm?
What was the second name?
Thandie Newton.
I'm glad I didn't do that one.
Yeah.
Because for some reason I almost thought that Michael Ian Black was in the movie.
So I'm glad I didn't do that.
He might have a small part in it, but he's not listed in the ten names.
And now,
who told you
to name it? Bobby?
Yeah. Alright, we're going to start with Graham.
And it is tiebreaker time.
And that's a very
exciting time in the show, because that's when we drag
out...
That's when he just crushed
his cardboard
coconut box.
Take that naked juice.
Oh, fuck.
This guy's really hydrated, dude.
That's my favorite whorehouse in Hawaii,
the coconut box.
And...
Of all the whorehouses,
I'd have to pick that one.
That's really a good one.
As the best.
Okay, Graham, we're playing the asparagus pea category.
And in case you've never heard that before, Bobby,
the premise of this category is that I'm going to read the entire review,
leaving out the names, but I'll read everything else.
I might even read the names.
I'm going to read the names.
But then it's up
to you guys to bid.
Everyone pretty much will know the title of the movie,
including audience members, so please don't
yell it out if it comes to you.
And then we'll bid on how many
negative names you can get
it in.
So it's a tricky
thing.
Figuring out the order of the actors.
Three stars from Leonard for this movie from 1992.
It's 100 minutes long, made in the USA.
It's David Mamet's scorching, profane, Pulitzer Prize-winning play
about an office full of desperate real estate salesman-cum-con artists
and its faithfully reproduced,
Mamet did the adaptation himself with a gallery of stunning performances.
Pacino is dynamic as the office hotshot,
Lemon totally credible as the loser,
and Baldwin is dynamite in a part created especially for the film as an insulting, in quotes, motivator.
Never succeeds in being anything but a photograph play,
but when the play and the actors are this good, it's hard to complain.
And I disagree with Leonard.
I think they did a great job of making it into a movie,
and I would give it the full four stars.
And he lists nine names.
How many names? How many negative names, Graham? I mean, I guess you could start with zero,
but that'd be weird. So how many negative names do you think you can get it in?
God, this is tough.
Yeah, it is tough.
Who's the lead?
Do they do it alphabetically?
Are you allowed to ask that?
No, I'm not.
You could say it out loud.
I'm not going to respond.
Yeah, it's alphabetically.
Go for it.
Jesus.
He's not in the movie.
Yes, he is.
And Leif Garrett.
Yeah, yes.
Leif Garrett as Jesus Christ.
And boy, interrupt it.
That still makes sense.
Yes, it does.
He was interrupted for three days.
Yeah, Judas interrupted him.
I think Jesus was probably
the first one to say, always be
selling. Yeah.
I know he said, put the
coffee pot down. I know he said that.
Third place?
He also said, second place
wine, third place bread.
First place water
what
would you like to bid
Graham
ah shit
I'll go negative two
he's saying negative two
is Bobby next
look at him
such despair first time on the show I'll go three he says negative three Jonah Look at him. Such despair.
First time on the show he'll be put through the wringer.
I'll go three.
He says negative three, Jonah.
Which I like because now Graham can't win.
I mean, maybe he can.
We'll see what Jonah does.
You're going to go deeper?
Is it a question?
Are you going to go deeper?
No.
Who's this character?
No.
Are you kidding me?
Where am I?
Well, this is fun.
What do I say?
Because I don't say...
Name that movie, yeah.
No, say negative four.
No, no, no.
No, no, say that.
He knows the movie.
I just have to...
He still has to say the title out loud.
Okay.
And then he has to name the top three people.
In order.
In order.
All right, cool.
And then Graham will win.
Yes.
I'm just guessing.
That's my hunch.
Okay.
I mean, how well do you know this movie?
Not that well.
Really?
Yeah, I saw it once.
All right.
I said a bunch of the names.
I know.
Okay.
I'm not about to do three.
Is that what it said?
He did three.
You'd have to do four.
No, then I fucking can't do four.
No, name the movie and the fucking people.
This is a,
this is just a smorgasbord
of characters
that you do.
I like this.
First it's like,
then it's like,
name the movie.
So now I have to name
in order.
That's, but Jonah's gonna be the winner He is?
Well, yeah, it's a three-week podcast
No, I get a shot though, right?
Okay, alright
I hope your confidence is now sky high
I didn't mean to crush your spirit
But who are you playing for, Jonah?
I'm playing for Ben and Sean
Where are you? They're over there You know Ben and? I'm playing for Ben and Sean. Where are you?
They're over there.
You know Ben and Sean.
All right, get ready to come get this.
Get ready to come get the prize, Ben.
Boy, you're really shitting on Bobby's abilities here.
No, I'm not.
If he was great at it, it's still, it's very tough.
Yeah.
Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross.
Mm-hmm.
Jack Lemmon.
You gotta say them all.
All right?
Say your three.
Ed Harris.
And Leif Garrett.
Who's your third one?
Pacino.
That's incorrect.
Those three people are all in it.
Yeah, that would have been exciting if you pulled that out,
because the order's rather crazy.
Is it alphabetical?
No.
No, it's not alphabetical.
I mean, there's one character that's sort of considered
to be the star of the play and the movie.
Pacino.
And that would be Ricky Roma, Pacino.
Yeah.
And then the next person that has the most action is Shelley Levine, played by Jack Lemmon.
Jack Lemmon.
And Pacino recently played Shelley Levine on Broadway, and I saw it.
He was terrible.
And then...
It was stunning.
And then the third, because it was such a big deal
that they created the part for the movie just for him
and it is such a great scene, he went with Alec Baldwin.
Oh, fuck. That would have been my order.
Really?
Yeah. Pacino, Lemon, and then Baldwin.
Well, it's a good thing you won anyway.
I know. That was the whole point.
Jonah Ray is our winner!
Ben and Sean! We did it, guys!
I know it seems scary
at first, but we pulled through.
Let's give them their fancy
name tag back, unless you want to take that
with you to Los Angeles. No, God no.
Come get your prizes.
Congratulations, young man. There you go,
Adventure Time.
Good job.
I'll sign that book if you want, dude,
if you come on the lobby.
Do you want the shitheads then?
Yes, please.
This guy's got hiccups.
Thank you.
And Jonah, do you have anything you'd like to plug?
I have a podcast
that's not the Nerdist
called Jonah Radio.
If you're in a band or you know someone in a band and they want their songs played, podcast that's not the Nerdist called Jonah Radio. If
you're in a band or you know
someone in a band and they want their songs played,
I play songs from bands that send
their stuff in and then I drink a lot
with my friends.
So it's...
So yeah, there's that. There it is.
Is it me or is that shithead super
hard to read?
Yeah, I would like you to write it down.
Because I think I know what it is, but I don't want to mispronounce it because it's very specific.
It's like a magic eye. You can barely tell.
Oh, he's writing it down on something right there.
Yeah, he wrote it on the back of his name tag, but it's a material that's got a lot of stuff going on.
There's a lot of cool doodles on it.
I want to make sure I get this right.
What funky fun doodles, bro?
I still don't know what this...
So this one isn't the word scum, it's initials.
It's the word scum, really?
Okay, all right.
Bobby Miyamoto's brother, ladies and gentlemen.
What? Does he look like him?
He doesn't look Asian.
He's not Asian.
What are your plugs, Jonah?
Did you do them already?
Bobby, do you have anything coming up you'd like people
to know about? San Diego,
December 20th to 21st.
What's happening? It's just a city that's still gonna be
there on those dates. Oh, cool.
I'll try and check it out, man.
San Diego is perfect that time of year.
He's done the research, and he really recommends it.
Great American Comedy Club.
Also, December 5th, opening for David Spade,
Comedy Central, our special at the Fonda Theater in Hollywood.
Oh, yeah.
Tickets might still be available for that.
Yeah, you can get tickets.
Yeah, yeah.
So go to the taping of Spade's new special
and watch Bobby open the show. And Graham, did we get all yours in earlier do you have some more i got some more
yes december 3rd uh this is the tuesday in two days we'll comedy film nerds will be doing a live
podcast streaming on laxter.com so check that out we're going to be you can bid on cool stuff like
we'll do a private podcast for you and the like. And then I'm headlining the Irvine Improv in California December 27th and 28th.
All my tour dates, my podcast, Facebook, Twitter, all that is at GrahamElwood.com.
All right.
Yeah.
Thank you, Tempe.
You guys have been a delight.
Great crowd.
I'll be doing Douglo's movies at the Riot Fest in Los Angeles on Saturday, January 11th at 420.
And don't forget to join me on the Weezer Cruise.
Thank you to all of my guests.
Graham Elwood's going to run to the lobby so you can get your Whistling Bane shirts and your Comedy Film Nerds guides.
And Jonah, always slick with the microphone.
I want to tell the listeners, Jonah didn't do that out of anger.
It just fell off of his table.
Thank you, Jonah.
Thank you, Bobby Miyamoto.
And thank you to the Tempe Improv and to you guys for coming out on a Sunday night.
I know a lot of you probably traveled over the weekend
or just, you know, there's a lot going on,
so the fact that this many people showed up
is very pleasing to me,
and if it's all right with you guys,
I'll be back to do this again soon.
No? Okay.
Sounds like you're not into it.
So, guess I won't.
Just kidding.
And as always,
shameless pandering is a shithead.
That's the shithead that Graham thought
was a really good one.
By the way.
Here's the one that I think is a good one.
Sparky the Scum Devil is a shithead.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another
talkie. Eyes of gold
is viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his
heart for you cause Doug
loves movies.