Doug Loves Movies - Joyelle Johnson, Noël Wells, Rob Huebel and Moshe Kasher guest
Episode Date: January 29, 2020Back home at the UCB Franklin, Doug welcomes Joyelle Johnson, Noël Wells, Rob Huebel and Moshe Kasher to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. Fo...r a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Doug hates candy wrappers, sweetie babies, sticky seeds with 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth.
There's still not one that he won't see, but Doug Loves Movies!
Hey, hey, hey everybody! My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies.
Coming to you from our OG spot,
the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater in Los Angeles, California.
The whole gang's here.
It's Tuesday, January 26, 2020,
and I'd like to see 20 or more name tags
1, 2, 3, 4
5, 6
close enough
great job everybody
Doug Plugs, Douglas Movies is back
at LOL Comedy Club in San Antonio
Texas this Saturday February 1st
at 420
Tampa and Orlando have shows coming up in the first...
Was it the first weekend?
Anyway, they're coming up soon.
For all of my dates and deets, go to DougLovesMovies.com.
That's DougLovesMovies.com!
Yeah!
Caw-caw!
Wallet!
Shh!
Ted Danson? Some people come in early on the Ted Danson.
You just get anxious.
You get excited because you get to say it as a question.
Yeah.
What else did I want to mention before?
Oh, I've got a date. You know, a club booked for 4-20 this year.
4-20-20.
And that's going to be Comedy Works in Denver, Colorado.
I'm doing a stand-up show on 4-20 at 7 o'clock.
Tickets are on sale now.
Prize bag for tonight I brought in a Hard Rock Hotel and Casino Las Vegas the the hotel
that is closing this Sunday night after the Super Bowl they're shutting down
they're shutting their doors for good and then a virgin hotel is gonna rise up
in the and by that I mean specifically a Richard Branson-branded hotel.
I don't mean the new hotel.
It's going to be a virgin.
It will be a virgin, virgin hotel, I guess.
But that's coming soon.
So, you know, I miss the Hard Rock, but I'm looking forward to seeing what they do with it.
A Getting Doug With High T-shirt.
Hopefully it's the size that works for you.
Some Doug Loves Movies stickers.
And, oh, I was in San Francisco recently for SF Sketch Fest,
so I brought a copy of San Francisco Magazine.
It's a very classy magazine.
And then I also think that I have in here, yes, I do, from Rockin' Pins,
I got a Doug Benson pin.
And of course, that is earmarked for the person who matches me
on a name for Last Woman Stanton later on in the show.
All that stuff, plus stuff brought by my four amazing guests.
You guys ready to bring them out here?
Let's do it.
Please give it up for Noelle Wells,
Joyelle Johnson,
Moshe Kasher, and Rob Hubel.
What a lineup.
Look at them.
Look at them walk around.
It's the women against the men.
That is.
Here on Doug Loves Movies.
That is.
Yeah.
Hey, you guys.
Battle of the sexes.
Let's meet everybody individually,
starting with our second time guest on the show.
It's Joyelle Johnson, everybody.
Hi, Doug.
Joyelle Nicole in some circles yeah right we had you on the
show for the first time over at the Miami Improv in Doral Florida yeah the
irony is I am wearing the same outfit you put on the same outfit tonight yeah
I realized that on the way over here I was like I was wearing this same shit
but Doug's high ass is not going to notice.
Yeah, I don't know.
I guess you're high as well.
That's why you brought it up.
Exactly.
I know how to come for you.
Yeah.
But we appreciate you coming out.
You're doing stuff out here.
I know you live in New York, but you're doing stuff in LA right around now.
Yes. I did the new Negro show on Sunday because I'm a Negro.
And I did a private show that my friend runs
called The Hunger.
You guys should check that out.
And I'm here with you.
A private show?
Yes.
How do people...
How does that even...
It was just me on the lineup.
So it was just like private, like just me.
Private.
Oh, I see.
People could come, though.
I don't get it.
Okay.
All right. Thank could come, though. I don't get it. Okay. All right.
Thank you for being here.
And to your left.
How many times do you think you've been on this show?
At least five, six.
I think so, maybe.
Six, maybe seven.
Let's go for that.
Let's say seven.
We'll get you your five-timers robe that we've owed you for two appearances.
It's Noelle Wells everybody!
How's it going?
It's going good. Okay that's good.
Good enough right? Yeah good enough.
As good as it can be at this time. Sure.
And I saw on your
or I should say
I'm going to tell you about something I posted on Instagram
but I was going to start the story like you started it.
But you made a motion picture
called Mr. Roosevelt and I remembered recently
how delightful
it is in spite of me being in it
and so
I posted a little something on
Instagram to remind people to
check it out. Yeah it really meant a lot to me
Well I'm glad because that movie
means a lot to me because
it's funny and me because it's
funny and fun, but
it's moving as well.
I think people would...
It's a good movie for right now.
I think. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, it just takes
four years for the movie to hit.
Yeah, cool. Thank you.
Thank you. I feel like Netflix has has been also pushed so it's on
netflix and over the holidays it was in the popular movie section of netflix next to marriage
story and the irishman literally in between i was like that is the weirdest combination but
i'll take it yeah you can't turn a movie off on netflix with two seconds left to go
without it putting it in your continue to watch
list. It's very irritating.
Yeah. You've got to sit through
every goddamn second, even the credits at the end
about who did the Spanish
translations.
If you don't watch all of it,
it just goes into your, you didn't
finish watching this list. Oh, I'm sorry.
Don't apologize. It's only 92 minutes.
Just finish it. Yeah, just'm sorry. Don't apologize. It's only 92 minutes. Just finish it.
Yeah, just write it out.
I was watching something today.
I was watching Klaus on Netflix.
And during the end credits, they squeeze the credits over and then start pushing some other movie.
And it's like, what's the big rush, Netflix?
I paid for the service.
Can I just watch the entire movie and then think about what I'm going to watch next?
Is that a movie about santa santa claus well you know if you want to be a big spoiler head about i'm sorry i was just imagining you trying to get to the end of the credits on a santa claus movie
like i must see yeah well it was just on you know because i i liked i do like to hear what song they
tack on the over the uh the end titles and those things. And anyway,
I didn't love it.
But I think it's really not
a great time for a Christmas movie.
Because it's
after? Because it's after.
But it's also just been a sad
few days.
Christmas just seems like a weird thing to think about
right now. But
I guess at Christmas time it's probably delightful.
That's my, I don't want to say anything mean about a Netflix thing.
Was it a Netflix original, Klaus?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Say no more.
If we whisper it, can we say shitty things?
Was this the volume of your private show?
That's Moshe Kasher, everybody!
Hi, Doug.
How you doing?
I'm great.
I always hear from you, you always like to come on the show
when you've got something specific to promote.
Well, what?
Classic.
Yeah, I got something to promote.
Always happy to have you.
Not enough of my friends ask me for, like, can I come on?
Always glad to be here.
Just wait for me to call.
I've been alone, like, most of the past year.
Right, you could have been asking.
I could have been asking to hang out on a show.
Instead, you're just getting him thinking about you and asking you specifically to do it.
Wow.
Whereas I have to say, Doug, please.
Yeah, it's a real
blog back and forth.
But yeah, always happy to
have you. So what's the thing that's...
Oh, I got a brand new album out.
I have a brand new album.
It's called
Crowd Surfing and it's an all crowd work
album and I'm
very proud of it. I think it's really good.
And I have actually in the little swaggy baggy, I've got a poster and a free proud of it i think it's really good and i have actually in the little
swaggy baggy i've got a poster and a in a free a free copy of it this is what albums look like now
it's a business card they just give you like an olive garden gift card that you're supposed to
sell at after your shows at comedy clubs it's so who want what happened to things
yeah and uh also um that's the sort of thing that the person's just going to lose it anyway.
Right.
And not even get the album.
Sweet.
More money for me next time I come to town.
They got to buy another card.
Yeah, I got to buy that card from you again.
Although they could just listen to the whole thing on Spotify and not pay me in the first place.
At any rate.
Shh.
Don't say that.
What can I do?
I can't find technology.
I have a quick question about your poster, though. Yes, please. why does it have jacob seraph on it that's me oh okay
the oft mistaken that's that felt vaguely anti-semitic doug that's uh
i think it's mostly the glasses in the hair yeah i think but i don't know but thank you for uh for
being here and for surfing the crowd.
The whole special is just crowd work, right?
Yeah, it's kind of like almost a semi-concept album
because rather than just do regular crowd work,
like who are you, what do you do, or whatever,
I ask the crowd very specific questions.
So like, what was your wildest sexual experience?
Have you ever been arrested?
What's your craziest night on drugs?
And so then the crowd was telling their craziest stories with a mic in their hand
and I was riffing off that. And like the first
person we talked to
the first night
he revealed that his mother
he found out had been operating a bordello
out of his childhood home and he didn't
realize that it was true until he came home
from visitation with his father and there were
like straps tied to each of his bedposts
and he's like, Mom, what are these? And she's like's like oh i've been meaning to tell you so that was the first
story and it only got crazier from there at a certain age you always get that talk what's that
i've been meaning to tell you it's a certain age yeah yeah everybody you don't know when it's gonna
happen you're gonna get the bordello talk yeah now do you have to deal with like weirdos from
the audience like trying to take
credit for the album and like hey man I'm
killing it over here on this album.
You know what I mean?
Like I am worried
about people becoming. Or am I inspiring
weirdos to be shitty? No
so far everybody who's been on the album
that's DM'd me was really excited
about it. I think it's like a little slice of fun for them
and the whole thing is,
yeah, I'm excited.
We'll see if I get sued.
We'll find out.
You won't get sued.
We'll sue them first.
Oh, really?
You're going to represent me?
Yes.
This is awesome.
Me and Dershowitz.
Love Dershowitz.
You know, he looks a lot
like me and Jacob Siroff.
That's anti-Semitic.
All right. So uh and finally joining us at the table is rob hubel hi dude did you know the fourth guest is always a name that goes well with table
hubel and table that's anti-semitic yeah what everything is when you think about it hard enough
how are you doing police doctor i'm great thank you cop what is it yeah cop medical
medical police yes yeah so we shouldn't make fun of netflix also on netflix see we can't talk
but your point is legit that i think that they um they really want you to finish stuff once you start it.
Like, they told us that.
Like, yeah, yeah, lots of people are watching, but they got to fucking finish it.
We're like, all right, what do I want to call people?
Like, how am I supposed to, what do I do?
You know, but it is, yeah, so.
Yeah, because that's how it counts is if you watch the whole thing.
You got to watch the whole thing for it to count?
I don't know about the credits, but yeah yeah network tv they get they get to count it if
somebody watches for five seconds is that true why is netflix so much i don't know i don't know
but you like it right i like everything about netflix yeah man yeah man i am sucking their
huge dick say that um yeah they seem nice. I don't know.
Yeah, they're nice.
What, is everyone here from Netflix?
What's going on?
There's Steve Netflix.
What the fuck?
Yeah, they seem nice.
All right, well,
let's see what everybody
brought for the prize bag
this evening,
starting with Noel.
Hi.
Okay, so I released an album last summer albums
but i have it on an actual album so it's like oh wait a minute no album it's on a round album
it's right it's really cool it's really pretty um it's uh like a blue it's like a translucent
blue my album's called it's so nice it's a it's a music album um it's like a translucent blue. My album's called It's So Nice. It's a music album.
It's very good.
Wow.
It is.
How much crowd work?
You kind of beat me
on every single possible.
Yeah.
She pulled a dick out on you.
Yeah.
Real quick.
Girls versus boys.
The dick wins.
I got a dick.
So I brought this
and they're limited edition
and I've actually sold a lot
but there's still some more.
So here's this.
I'm so excited for whoever has this.
It's special.
That is exciting.
It's very special.
And then I have like a whole,
I have a bunch of merch stuff.
I have enamel pins.
I brought a hat for you, Doug.
Whoa.
This is for Doug.
That's beautiful.
I was supposed to go on tour
but then it got canceled
and so I had all these fun hats
and then they, you know,
but I have an extra one in here.
I also have tissue paper
with my face on it.
That's really cool
and just some other stuff
from this tour
that never happened.
Yeah,
that's it.
Tour that never happened.
Cool.
It's exciting.
Oh,
it looks great.
That hat looks great on you.
Thanks.
Is the tour going to be rescheduled?
I don't,
I don't think so.
You know,
it's funny
because it was really upsetting
that it got canceled
because I had worked
on this album
for such a long time
and I just really wanted
to sing my songs.
But then when it happened
in such a weird way
that I thought
somebody was probably
going to kill me.
And then I got a message
from a guy
who showed up
to one of the dates
and was like,
you didn't show up here.
And I drove an hour to come see you.
And I was going to kill you.
It basically sounded like he like had this whole agenda.
I drove an hour to kill you.
I drove an hour.
And he didn't have the nerve.
I was like,
shut up,
face me and die.
Yeah,
no,
but it was really crazy.
So I got this insane email from this person and I was like,
Oh, that man was for sure planning to slice me up.
Sorry.
Wait, is that weird?
That giggle.
Man, the giggle.
Yeah.
The nervous giggle.
He's not here right now.
I mean, the internet is so weird like that. Did you write him back?
She just said K.
Did you send him an out of office reply?
No, some things you just don't reply to.
You just walk away from that.
You just walk away.
Did you flag it?
I didn't.
But you know, it's funny because I do feel this indebtedness to people that message me.
And at a certain point, I was like, maybe I don't have to message everybody.
No, no, no.
No, definitely not.
I didn't know that. I don't know. And then when you don't message to message everybody. No, no, no. I didn't know.
I didn't know that.
I don't know.
And then when you don't message them,
they get angry.
I was like,
the world is just not really set up for women.
Huh?
You don't have to message your family.
Don't worry about random motherfuckers and Instagram.
Yeah.
I mean,
Rob is the king of,
uh,
on Twitter.
You don't, uh, you just write your jokes and I used to, I king of on Twitter you don't
you just write your jokes
and stuff
I used to
I kind of
yeah
that used to be my thing
now you interact with people
I do
yeah I broke down
yeah
everybody gets it eventually
yeah
but like
it is weird though
because I feel like
if you do
respond to people
and then they're on
right then
and they
then it
like now we're in a conversation
you know
and that's not I don't like conversations they're on right then. And now we're in a conversation. You know, I don't like conversations.
They're painful.
Let's each make a couple statements at each other and then call it a day.
Yeah.
You say something nice to me, I'll send you a thumbs up.
I don't talk to anybody on Twitter anymore.
You don't?
Ever.
No, I turned everything off.
I put all these words into the filter so that certain things don't get through.
What are some of the words?
I mean, can you guess? It was like Jew,
Jewish, Nazi,
motherfucking Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew,
Jacob Searoff, Alan Dershowitz.
And my life has never been better.
I just don't, there's no winning.
There's no fun to be had. You think like,
I'm the comedian, I'll win. And I'm like,
no, this person's IQ is four. They can keep
going forever they're
not gonna be like i go i seed i see there's no way that like can get a new identity immediately
and come right back into the club like it's just uh you can't stop it i started turning off
comments on my instagram posts even that's fun it's fun oh yeah because it's like also people
are hijacking it like it's like this isn't't your plate. This is me showing off my stuff,
not for you to come here and say things that are off topic.
You know what was funny was Twitter was always a cesspool.
And then Instagram, they invented that.
And then for a while, Instagram's comment section,
I was like, what a fresh air.
These people are all supportive and nice.
And it's almost like they all got together and were like,
there's some space we could fucking poison.
Come this way.
Come this way. And then all of a sudden, sudden it just turned and they're just as bad now on
instagram so i'm on tiktok if anybody wants to find me are you in the high school girls yeah
they're very nice they're very sweet joelle what did you bring for us all right so you had to fly
all the way out here.
Yes, I do not have an album,
but I have been stalked before,
so we have that in common.
That bitch had to get a restraining order.
So I have a blue hat.
This hat is from a college in Colorado.
It says entertainment on it,
so I thought that was fitting
because you know you need knit hats in Los Angeles.
Keeping with the blue theme, I have a blue blanket.
Oh, that is nice looking.
It's soft and it has a couple of pug dog hairs on it.
And this is from a commercial set.
Ooh, entertainment.
A bitch be stealing.
Who's this bitch you keep talking about?
And is the restraining order from the production company to you?
To me.
I say I have them both ways.
And then these are just some bath salts that are from a Steve-E-S in 2018.
I don't steal from stores,
just, you know, sets.
You know,
where they gonna throw
the shit away anyway, you know?
So this is from a CVS.
They were 50% off.
There's a little tiny blue shovel
that comes with it.
You're lucky you have the makings
for the most adorable crib ever.
Yes, it's a baby crib.
If you have a baby crib in your life
that you would like
to make a gift basket for,
except I got it from all C places, so you might not want to fuck with it.
So these are my contributions to the prize.
That would make a baby blood jealous right there.
Yes.
All right.
Mommy, I want bath salt.
Shut up, blood.
All right, so we know Moshe brought a poster and a business card.
It's an album.
It's a download for a great album.
What do you have for us, Rob?
This is also an album.
This is a nine of albums.
I did not make this album.
Someone gave this to me, and I never opened it,
and so I'm re-gifting it.
It's an album of all the music from Bob's Burgers.
I think it's actually several albums wow
also a great gift for a crip they love bob's burgers they love it um yeah so but i don't know
uh i didn't have anything to do with this so i just saw the other day you're the lifeguard uh
in the episode where tina joins the young lifeguards is that true yeah it sounds like
it sounds like something
I would do.
Yeah, it's totally you, man.
Okay.
Yeah, I do remember that.
I even watched the credits
until Netflix insisted
we move on.
All right, so yeah,
pass all this stuff down here.
What a great
This show presupposes
that everyone here
has a record album,
a record player.
Not me,
because I have
nothing but a business card
do you have a pocket you can take my album i also have a cassette i have a cassette of so if you
have a single okay i have my album on cassette in there too a kiss album it's really cool okay
what was the commercial for where the blanket um came from i don't know. I took that from my friend's house.
So you stole it from your friend.
She gave it to me.
I don't steal from friends.
Just corporations.
Okay.
I'd like to ask everybody a question at this point.
Starting with Noelle.
What was the last movie you saw? I saw marriage story for the third time oh so it's a you like it I think I like it I really love the
performances I saw it at the when it first came out, and I was kind of not in a good place. And then I was like, oh, this is a movie.
So I saw it again.
And then recently a friend asked me to go to a screening of it.
So I was like, yeah, I haven't seen that in a month.
I'll go see it again.
Did Baumbach answer questions after?
He did.
Neat.
He was there.
It was really cool.
He seems like a very smart dude to me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Nice guy.
Smart guy. Yeah guy then they had people
it was i guess it was a screening i guess they're doing award circuit stuff and it was a very small
screening and then they're like all right come into this room and talk to noah and it was a
very tiny room i guess where people were supposed to talk to him and i found that very uncomfortable
yeah that's weird it was weird yeah i went to a thing last year where they showed that movie that Timothee Chalamet was in,
and the idea was you watch the movie and then meet him in a parlor setting.
He had to go around and do close-up magic for everybody.
Oh, no!
And he had to lay out some Chalamet magic throughout the room.
Is he a magician, or that's a joke?
No, I'm joking.
I don't know
what he did to the people
other than
he's a charming fellow.
He plays charming characters
in the movies.
So,
but we...
Was it Call Me By Your Name?
What was the...
Which movie was it?
It was that other one
where he was...
had drug and alcohol problems
and Steve Grohl...
Beautiful Boy.
Beautiful Boy.
Beautiful Boy.
All right.
So, Moshe's winning.
Yes.
We're already playing. Moshe's on the board
yeah
for the first time ever
if you ask any question
it's up for
a possible win today
yeah points
all right
so
what was the last movie
you saw Joyelle
Bombshell
yeah
everybody got through
yeah everybody got through
their screenings
oh that's the name of the movie
I thought you were like
really gonna tell us
something
something exciting
but did you like it
I loved it
I love watching
white women struggle
but also
I'm here for that shit
Handmaid's Tale
Grey's Anatomy
I love it
and these white bitches
were struggling
like a motherfucker
in this movie
and it was great to watch
and all the performances
were fantastic
and I found out
she had a prosthetic nose
put on
so yeah
yeah Charlize
looks very much
like that lady
she's supposed to be
a little prosthetic
so I love it
and John Lithgow
as Roger Ailes
is just, oh, he's the best.
He makes you so uncomfortable.
He goes up your spine. He's amazing.
Rob?
I was just wondering how much, what was her,
I don't know the whole story,
what was her settlement? How much
money did she get? Do we know?
I mean, they were throwing out
double digit millions. I want to say it was like
$20 million, but it was Greta Carlson
that was the one who brought forth the
original lawsuit. You want to represent her?
No, I did a thing
on the radio, and as I was leaving,
she was coming in to do the thing right after me,
and I just passed her, and I haven't
been that close to someone that's worth millions and millions
and millions. So I was like, oh, there's like
$40 million. Is that who? Yeah, Megyn Kelly. So I was like, oh, there's like $40 million.
Yeah, Megyn Kelly. Did you smell Brimstone as she passed by? I did.
Fire. Brimstone.
Santa Claus is white.
Oh, Klaus.
Yeah, no, Doug knows.
They say that at the very end of the credits.
In a tiny font.
If you've made it this far, know this.
Santa Claus is white.
Yeah, he is.
J.K. Simmons
is the voice of Santa.
Oh, I was thinking Rowling.
I was like, really?
She can do it all.
Yeah, they got J.K. Rowling
to be the voice of Santa.
Talks about muggles for no all. They got J.K. Rowling to be the voice of Santa. Talks about
muggles for no reason.
It's weird.
Rob, what was the last movie you saw?
I think the last one
was Uncut Gems,
which was great.
Can I name two?
Sure.
Starring me and Jacob Searoff, that movie.
You go to the well one too many times and there's no water in it.
I get that.
You were great.
And then Knives Out I saw, which I thought was also great.
Like super fun and just hadn't seen a movie like that in a long time.
Yeah, that's good.
I feel like he's going to make another one with Daniel Craig.
It's the same character figuring out another thing.
That'd be cool. At first was thrown off by by that performance i was like i don't know if i'm down for this but then like after a few minutes i was like all right i'm on board yeah it felt
big at first but then it like fit right in yeah it wasn't uh it's also just he wasn't that chewy
he didn't go after all the scenery yeah it's also just you know that he's british so it's weird
that he's like oh he's
cajun or something and then like well i love that's the for a british actor that's the easiest
one southern america american southern accent's the easiest for them to do so they always tend
to go that there even when it's unnecessary is that true yeah i think so i don't know i've heard
i heard on this new hbo show uh hugh la Hugh Laurie just sort of goes in and out of his...
Because he was so good at not being British on House, but now he's probably just like,
fuck it.
The movie takes place in space.
I could be a guy that just kind of talks however he feels like talking in the moment.
Well, no, that's part of the plot.
Is it?
Oh, yeah, that's part of the plot, is that he's faking that he's American.
So that's why he comes in and out of it.
Yeah, it's deliberate.
I gotta watch shows from the beginning.
That's so funny that somebody said that as a criticism.
Like, oh, his accent's terrible.
It's just not steady at all.
It's almost like they wrote it that way.
I like that.
All right.
I saw a movie.
I'm back in.
Moshe saw a movie.
Well, you know why I skipped you, right?
Oh, no.
Why?
Semitism.
You rarely hear it said that way.
Right.
It's always anti.
I dislike your Semitism.
Yeah.
I like it.
I guess I'd say I'm against it.
Semity.
I like it.
Yo, Semity.
I saw the last black man in San Francisco last night.
All right.
So you always have to make it about race, don't you?
That's the last film you saw.
I don't care where you were.
No, I loved it.
I loved it because I loved to see.
I don't care who else was there.
I loved to see a black man struggle.
So I loved that film.
It was a joke that had to be made.
And when you made your joke, I knew I was going to make it.
I've been waiting up for it.
I didn't know how it would land.
I'm glad I did okay.
I was uncomfortable.
Yeah.
For those just joining us, rewind and get the full story.
Well, Moshe's racist.
No, no, no, no, no.
He does that on purpose in the episode.
It's like Hugh Laurie in that HBO show.
No, but I saw it last night
Hugh racism
has really been
coming in and out
I did see it last night
it wasn't just for the joke
and it was a
it was really actually
a beautiful movie
I really loved it
it was really sweet
which one?
The Last Black Man
in San Francisco
okay
really good
yeah I keep hearing
how great it is
so like
officially snubbed
you think by the Oscars
well it's a really small
indie film i that wouldn't that didn't surprise me i think it's nominated for some uh independent
spirit awards it should so maybe they'll win something there it felt it was interesting
because it was super uh sort of fantastical and artsy but it also felt extremely real and
probably the best movie on the gentrification in the Bay Area that I've ever seen.
I thought it was just accurate. It was just good.
And that's such a huge genre now.
Well, but it's... No, you're right.
But it's a huge story.
That's like in January when a critic goes,
one of the best films this year.
It's like, okay, but you know.
My daughter loves all the movies
about gentrification in San Francisco.
There have been three. Was Up in San Francisco. I take her to those. There have been three.
Really?
Yeah.
Was Up in San Francisco?
Is that why you flew out of there?
Right.
Because you're tired of what was happening in the neighborhood.
Well, Pixar, their studios are in Oakland.
So in a way, absolutely, yes.
There you go.
But no, there was.
Inside Out.
Sorry to bother you.
There was Blindspotting
and then there was this.
The hate you give?
I didn't see it.
Trainspotting is about gentrification in San Francisco.
You guys don't know that?
All those people were not originally from San Francisco.
They're Scottish.
Does anybody have any impressions
they'd like to do?
I can't think of a better way to get into that.
But I like it when people do impressions, if you have any.
No pressure.
Can I do one?
Yeah.
This is, I just had something taken off my neck.
People that are listening at home, you can't see these stitches in my neck.
So this is my dermatologist today.
I think everyone's going to get this.
She was like kind of a little old lady.
First time I'd been to her, and she goes,
oh, no problem, I'll take that right off.
Oh.
That was crazy.
That felt exactly like her.
That's an efficient doctor
and an efficient impression.
I mean, you have to meet her, but it rose spot on.
I can do an impression.
Okay.
Actually, it's appropriate for this podcast
because it's the movie phone guy who I don't think...
I've got to do a pretty good movie phone guy.
I love it.
Hello, and thank you for calling
AOL Movie Phone. If you know the name of the movie you'd like to see, there we go. Hello, and thank you for calling AOL Movie Phone.
If you know the name of the movie you'd like to see,
press one now.
You have selected
Bombshell, starring Charlize Theron.
Watch these white women struggle.
Select, select.
Brought to you by 106.1 KMEL Jams. That was the local radio station that brought us... Anyway, select. Brought to you by 106.1 KML Jams.
That was the local radio station that brought us.
Anyway, yeah.
Yes.
That was great.
Do you just do it online now and just read everything in his voice?
No, I just find people of a certain age.
I'll be like, here's an impression.
You're going to know what it is.
Yeah.
I go to Billie Eilish concerts
and try to make friends.
AOL movie phone!
They're like,
what is AOL?
What is a phone?
What is any of this?
That's the TikTok demographic.
Yes.
Let's see if I can land this.
Ha ha!
Oh, good!
That was all right!
That was all right! That was all right.
From The Simpsons?
Yeah.
Okay.
Hell yeah.
Okay.
I'm proud of that.
I'm proud of that.
That was good.
That was naked and untested
into a microphone.
That's also a fun way to do it.
Like, no setup.
Just do the impression.
I wanted to see
if we don't guess right.
You just be like,
oh, you didn't know who that was? You don't know. You don't know right You just be like Oh you didn't know
Who that was
You don't know
You don't know
Who that was
You know the hat
Yeah
Do you have any Noel?
You know
I have a
Bernie Sanders impression
Yeah
But I'm really
I haven't done it
In years
Okay
But it was like
When he first ran
I had this impression
I was like
God
I hope this lands I like how your lips Started moving I had this impression. I was like, God, I hope this lands.
I like how your lips started moving.
I'm getting PTSD from Asana.
Keeping the theme of anti-Semitism on tonight's show.
Be like, if I'm elected president, every American citizen will be guaranteed a substantial Twitter following.
Ballerinas will not have to dance on the feet
i like i like he makes a lot of wild promises babies will not have to be born birth is a very
traumatic experience for both mother and child if i'm elected babies will just spring into existence
with the thought and the will.
And then it's like
a lot of hand gestures.
I'd say better than Larry David.
I dare say it.
I heard your post nasal drip.
You put it in there.
You put it in there.
Larry just shows up looking like that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, that was a great round of that. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that was a great round
of impressions.
Yeah.
But now's when I say
turn it off,
let the games begin!
We got some name tags,
you guys.
Not a ton,
but some really good ones
that are,
most of them were folded up and put in a pocket.
Oh, I didn't see that one earlier.
I didn't see that one.
Okay.
Lots of options.
While you guys go pick who you want to play for,
we'll go to this brief commercial message.
We'll be right back.
Hey, everybody.
There's no ads this episode,
so I'm just going to take a moment to say that I'm very excited to be doing my
annual countdown to 420 show. That's on April 19th, 1030 p.m. at midnight. When the show ends,
we go, yay, it's 420 and we go outside and smoke and that's outside the san francisco punchline and then the next day
april 20th 4 20 20 i'm happy to say i'm spending with my friends in denver yeah That's right. Comedy Works, downtown Denver, 7 p.m. show. Stand up on 420 with me.
Tickets are on sale now.
Back to the show.
We're back. Who are you playing for, Noelle Wells?
I'm Glengarry Glengarry.
So good.
What's his name, Glendor Gary?
so good what's his name
Glenn or Gary
you can ask him
are you Gary
do you know where you got it
Gary
Gary
but that's great
yeah it's a really fun poster
he's got a lot of faces
on there
they look like
they're mostly you
oh really
it's just a bunch of my face
there's two of you
all right Joyelle we got fear whoa fear and Laurel Mostly you. Oh, really? Just a bunch of my fans? There's two of you.
Joyelle?
We got Fear and Laurel in Las Vegas.
Yes. Wow.
That is...
I love it.
I chose it because the titties look fabulous on here.
And that's my kind of girl.
And it also came with an accent that I appreciate that I don't know if I can announce on the podcast.
So, yeah.
Laurel, is that you at Burning
Man? Wasteland.
Wasteland, the Mad Max-themed
Burning Man type of festival.
I love all the bondage.
That's real good.
You can strap her and just shoot her into space.
Where's Wasteland? It's out in the California
desert and you must be in costume
to attend.
So if you're in, I'm in. Yeah, let's go.
Great. Yeah, I like
that. Hell yeah.
Moshe? I am playing
for the Princess Beagle
and there are Tito's vodka
bottles all over it and some
Skittles, so it's a wild night in.
Someone named Beagle?
Yeah, right here. Oh, okay. Your name is Beagle? My last name, yeah. Oh, Mr. Beagle? Yeah, right here
Oh, okay
Your name is Beagle?
My last name, yeah
Oh, Mr. Beagle
Yeah, Mr. Beagle
What an adorable dog name
I never thought of that
Just putting Mr. in front of
Whatever kind of dog they are
That's my dog, Mr. Beagle
Oh, a. Beagle.
Oh, a little beagle? Nope.
Dopamine pincer.
Rob, what'd you end up with?
Aubrey's child.
Aubrey forgot to put liquor or weed
on the cover of this.
Like everybody else has,
but I appreciate that, Aubrey.
Still got your attention
because of Jenny Slate.
Jenny Slate.
Picture and yeah.
And Aubrey is a great reworking of Obvious.
She did a great job.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, I learned.
I was holding it up for the cameras.
I just didn't want you
to have to hold it up the whole time.
Yeah, because the cameras
didn't make it down here tonight.
There's no cameras?
No cameras tonight.
Yeah, this is just for us.
We didn't even remember to record it.
Oh, no.
We're not even recording audio.
It's just a live show now.
But no, we got some fun games ready to play.
Apologies to... No, we'll some fun games ready to play. Apologies to...
No, we'll get done in time.
Let's say that mostly because I don't know what show's coming up next.
Let's start with a game called Characters Welcome.
In this game, I am going to read to you,
all four of you are in play at the same time,
guess as often as you like.
I'm going to read the characters listed,
some of the characters listed in the end credits
of an actual motion picture
and the first person who can
name the movie based off
of those clues wins
this game. And you know what they
win, Moshe?
One million dollars? Oh, a new copy of
my album. Nope.
You would win the opportunity to go first in the next game.
Okay.
Yeah.
An underwhelming crowd.
I just like to bring the stakes as low to the ground as possible
so that you guys can just relax, let your brains just hear this,
and give me the correct answer.
and give me the correct answer.
According to IMDb,
what movie has these characters in it?
Ballroom Party Server.
Ballroom Party Server.
Beer Hall Dancer.
Yeah, exactly.
This is why you shouldn't get too far into the credits Doug coyote ugly soldier
see that was a good guess Star Wars it's another great guess my dinner with Andre soldier glory so
no on Andre with telegram Blues Brothers Brothers. A League of Their Own.
Taps.
Oh, oh.
Officer and the Gentleman.
Private, Saving Private Ryan.
1917.
No, why did I think that?
There's one person in that.
Schindler's List.
The Aviator.
Schindler's List is a good guess for the theme of tonight.
Inglourious Bastards.
The end credits of 1917 just says Running Man.
That one guy.
The name goes by, yeah.
Train Porter.
There's a train porter.
Racism.
Murder on the Orient Express.
To Yuma E something.
Yeah.
Tombstone.
Don't guess audience.
I think I heard somebody
guessing or coughing.
Yeah, is that
210 to Yuma? Hannah. There's someone named Hannah. Hannah. Oh't guess audience. I think I heard somebody guessing or coughing. Yeah, is that three times to you? Hannah.
There's someone named Hannah. Hannah.
The movie Hannah.
What'd you say?
Hannah. The movie Hannah. Oh, yeah.
Hannah
and her sisters.
John Brooke.
Seems like a western.
Yeah, I'm feeling western and I'm getting stuck.
Mr. Dashwood. Ohwood oh um oh oh oh oh
is it women little women is correct
the next name i was gonna say is my favorite name little women marmy march
marmy uh you guys see
The Little Women
I gotta see it
I haven't seen it
Yeah
People love it
That's one of the ones
You haven't seen
It's nominated for
Best Picture
Yeah
That's why when we
Went around earlier
And you asked what
Movies we'd seen
I didn't list that one
Yeah
Well he only has said two
Backstage you said
You've seen most of
The Best Picture nominees
But that you also
Don't know which movies were nominated for Best Picture
That's true
It was an interesting statement
I said I've seen
I saw it cut jibs
Almost all of them
Then you dropped a microphone which was also weird
Just hanging out backstage
I brought my own microphone
Backstage
Alright so that means that Noelle won that game
Congratulations
Yes
Noelle did you game. Congratulations.
Joelle, did you see that movie, Little Women?
Absolutely not.
You will love it. So many white women struggle.
You better do it.
Yeah, it's a lot of struggling.
There's some struggle.
I read the book.
Did you see it?
How's the movie?
I did see it.
Uh-oh.
Yeah, no.
Okay.
What are we saying? Oh, we edited that part it. Uh-oh. Yeah, no. Okay. What are we saying?
Oh, we edited that part out.
No, yeah.
No, I liked it.
Wait a second.
Were you forced to watch it against your will?
No, no.
I mean, I found it slightly confusing.
It was hard to follow, but I liked it.
Did Natasha walk out on it?
No, no, because we were laying in bed.
And when she gets to bed, I don't let her leave.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, dog.
Mm-hmm.
Everything about this segment is making me very uncomfortable.
I'm sorry.
I just, I fucked up.
Listen, I want to tell everybody this.
She's your little woman, huh?
I was rash with my speech.
I didn't think about what I was saying.
And she is a little woman.
She's 4'11".
Oh, wow.
Wow.
That's very, 4'11". That's very...
4'11". I thought she was against
11. So let me ask you this.
Let me ask you
this question.
The time
jumps in Little Women threw you off.
Yeah. Because it jumps around without
nary a date on
the screen. Right.
And at a certain point,
I was... I figured it out eventually,
but I don't want a movie
that I have to go like,
oh, okay,
like 30 minutes in.
Like, I now understand
what's happening time-wise
in this film.
But I loved it.
I thought it was great, you guys.
I thought it was great.
Can we move on?
Was Marriage Story
also nominated or no?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, that's so cute like
husband wife yeah they both got nominated for best picture but of course he's the only one
that got nominated for best director also cute also cute adorable yeah but you know
they'll put both loose in 1917 because everybody loves it
because everybody loves it.
You didn't like it?
You know, it's amazing that they did that.
I've got to see it.
I've seen all the movies that are nominated.
It's a really cool long-ass shot that follows people around for a long time.
It's kind of like a Cribs in the countryside during a war.
Like MTV's Cribs?
Yeah.
Because they're just following him through all these places.
Right, right.
He's like, where are the magic happens?
Sometimes they describe it like, this seems dangerous over here.
What's up, everybody?
I'm Michael.
This is my trench.
Yes.
Here is my copy of Scarface.
This is my foot.
It is falling off.
this is my foot it is falling off
I just didn't
you know
I just didn't get
get into it
it felt
you know
other people said this
but it feels like
watching somebody else
play a video game
you know
oh is it exhausting
like is it too much
no it wasn't too much
like I wanted more of
like I wanted it to be
more exciting
like just to compare it
to something else
like you know the shit that characters go through in that movie
is pretty grueling,
not unlike The Revenant with Leonardo DiCaprio.
But for some reason in that movie,
I was always interested in all the fucked up shit
that was happening to him.
Whereas these guys, I was just like,
I just didn't get personally involved in their story,
even though the photography was amazing.
You see six underground,
bro.
What?
Oh,
that Netflix thing with Ryan Reynolds that,
uh,
paid to mention Michael Bay directives.
No,
but it is nuts.
It's so over directed.
Like,
like every shot is so fucking huge to just a guy,
like literally walking from his car into the building
is like drone fucking steady camp.
Well, Michael Bay usually has such a light touch.
That's weird to hear.
It's really like this car chase has real violence in it.
Like most car chases,
when a car that doesn't have the main character in it
goes off the road,
you don't get to see that person just get completely mauled.
It's really violent.
I've only seen half of it.
Because I was like, I can't watch this on a phone.
I started watching it on a plane.
And I was like, this is like a big screen movie.
If you're going to watch that movie.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So good job.
Good job job Michael Bay
yeah
alright
this next game
is called
it's a new game
suggested by someone
on Twitter
named Joe B. Realty
I don't know if he's a realtor
but
the game is called
Firth Things Firth
and
I'll name a movie
I'll go to you one at a time
we'll start with Noel I'll name a movie and you tell me if that movie features Colin Firth thinks Firth. And I'll name a movie. I'll go to you one at a time.
We'll start with Noelle.
I'll name a movie, and you tell me if that movie features Colin Firth, Jonathan Firth, or Peter Firth.
Oh, no.
So it's Colin, Jonathan, or Peter.
Yeah, this is a Firth for me.
I don't know.
I know Colin Firth, Jonathan Firth, or Peter Firth.
I don't know if it's brothers.
It's Colin, Jonathan, or Peter.
I don't even... I think they're all unrelated.
I was thinking about buying a house from John B. Realty,
but fuck that guy.
Wait, was it Colin?
Oh, I shouldn't ask this question.
Forget it.
Right.
It was going to be a fun joke,
but it would have been also a spoiler of this game,
and I'm going to stop now.
Oh, I see what you're doing.
I get it.
Smart. That's why they don't let people talk that much on jeopardy because they might say some upcoming answers accidentally so we'll start with noel and if you don't get this then
it moves to joyelle and then we stop there because i only like names that sound kind of similar.
The motion picture is Circle of Friends.
Jonathan Firth.
Incorrect.
Okay.
But I like your commitment to it.
Joyelle?
Oh, Colin Firth.
That is correct.
Damn it.
Why didn't I go with
the obvious Firth? The famous Firth. The Firth Firth. Why? The famous Firth. That is correct. Why didn't I go with the obvious Firth?
The famous Firth.
The Firth Firth.
Why?
At the end of this
we find out
neither of them are actors.
Colin's the only actor.
I wouldn't do
something like that.
The other two are realtors.
Alright. Joelle's on the board. Moshe. You're a realtor? All right.
Joelle's on the board.
Moshe.
Moshe, we start with you.
Okay.
Colin.
No, I'm kidding.
Your guess beforehand is probably just as good as once you hear the title.
The English Patient.
Oh, oh, okay.
Wait, I just almost watched this.
You were
almost ready to be bored?
Well, no, Natasha and I have been doing a project
for a long time since she
first got pregnant. We were watching every Best Picture
winner in order, and we just
got to The English Patient recently. We couldn't make it
all the way through, and
I know that Colin Firth is not
in that film wait do
I so I'm gonna say Peter Firth no Rob Jonathan no the other people down with me. Noelle. Damn it. Colin Firth? Noelle is correct with Colin Firth.
I'm an idiot.
I'm a fucking idiot.
Aubrey, I'm so sorry, but you didn't give me weed or anything, so fuck it.
It's anybody's game.
That was my fault.
You shouldn't apologize.
That was totally on me.
I'm a fool.
I'm a fool.
Did he say you started watching the movies when Natasha was
pregnant? Yeah, we haven't gotten all the way through.
But your baby is 16.
She is two next month.
It's been a long project.
To my credit, the first
15,
20 years are trash.
Hey, Gone with the Wind.
That's later than that.
Gone with the Wind. It Happened One Night is the first good one, then Gone with the wind then that's later with the wind gone with the wind it happened one night is
the first good one then gone with the wind but i mean have you tried to watch wings it's like
jezebel was one of them oh i don't know i don't that doesn't but maybe there's been so many
and then they start getting good eventually but for a while you're just like
people are just like look we have a camera we can move it this way. Best picture.
Gandhi?
Gandhi's great.
Really?
Now we're in the good zone.
Really?
That was fun to watch?
I love Gandhi.
What about Last Step Forward?
Have you seen the sequel?
Gandhi in 60 Seconds. Jesus.
That would have been so good.
Damn it.
You were so close.
Let's go back.
Let's edit it out.
Edit it out.
Colin Firth has forgotten the, you know, yeah.
Gandhi in 60 seconds.
It's a lot better and quicker of a watch.
I will say that.
Chariots of Fire, not a great movie, but it's there.
Yeah.
Yeah, there's just so many.
They like big, long, boring movies sometimes.
What I have heard is the real thing to do is not to take the Moshe and Natasha challenge
but in fact to watch
the best screenplay winner.
That way you will see
the best movies
because usually
best screenplay
and best picture
are the same thing
unless the best picture
winner is garbage
then you're going to see
a good movie for that year.
So when I have another kid
I will go back through that.
It's the right reason
to have a kid.
Well they're not really Impacting me either
I didn't even know
Colin Firth was in the
English page
That's very stupid
Where do we leave off
Joyelle
Yes
The hard part
Which one's in
Shakespeare in Love
Colin Firth
That is correct
I'm sensing a theme,
Realty Boy.
Moshe?
Yeah, I'm going to go
with Colin Firth.
Let me tell you
the movie first.
What a Girl Wants.
I got to go with
Colin Firth on this one.
You are right.
It is Colin Firth
playing Amanda Vine's dad. Oh are right. It is Colin Firth playing Amanda Vine's
dad.
Yeah.
What a job he did there.
Rob,
Girl
with a Pearl Earring.
Please God.
Which one was in Girl with a Pearl Earring?
It's definitely Colin Firth. I love that.
It's like my favorite movie.
Nominated for Best Picture this year.
It is one of my favorite movies.
And Colin Firth's performance in that fucking movie
is like, when I think about it, I get emotional.
I'm serious.
He's the dad to the dog.
And he's like, oh, man.
Wait, are we talking about What a Girl Wants
or Girl with a pearl earring?
Whatever you said.
Alright, so girl
with a pearl earring, you're going with Colin.
That is correct. Get me on the fucking board.
You're on the fucking board.
But I stand by what I said. This guy's a terrible
realtor. Like every house has bedbugs
that he sells.
This guy's gonna blow
me up on Twitter.
This feels like
then this is, is there going to be a trick?
Keep going. Go ahead. Tell me the name.
The movie is Nanny McPhee.
What?
I actually know this.
Best picture.
I feel scared.
There's no reason to be scared.
I guess I could be safe.
The winner doesn't win anything.
I could just say Colin Firth.
You could.
Colin Firth.
Is that what you're going with?
Yeah.
That is correct.
Oh, my God.
Are Peter and John even people?
He just made up Firth names.
He just gave white men names. I like that. I made up Firth names? You made up Firth names He just gave White men names
I like that
I made up Firth names?
You made up Firth names
Where are we at?
Joyelle again?
Okay
The movie is
From
2009
Because there's been
Several of them.
A Christmas Carol.
Colin Firth.
Yeah, that's right.
I love where this is going.
Moshe?
Yeah, I think you know what I'm about to say.
Do you know what I'm
about to say?
Mama Mia, here we go again.
Colin Firth, baby!
Yes!
This guy jacks off to the name Colin Firth.
He's listening to the pod just like...
Rob, which one was in the movie 1917?
My favorite movie, man.
When that guy's running and there's like an explosion.
Colin Firth is definitely in that.
Colin Firth is in it.
It's true.
He's great in it.
He gives them the mission at the beginning.
Spoiler.
Spoiler. Beginner spoiler.
Noel,
the movie is The Hunt for Red October.
Converse.
Before you say that,
let me just say
that was a Best Picture winner
1992.
No, I'm kidding.
That was the whole thing?
That was my whole bit?
That's why you jumped in there?
The bit was about, it's obviously Colin Firth.
Anyway, they don't all win.
All right.
What'd you say, Noelle?
Oh, man, I forgot.
Colin Firth.
That's incorrect.
It is? Oh, no, I forgot. Colin Firth. That's incorrect. It is?
Oh, no. That motherfucker.
Wow. You really set me up. That was a long
walk. Joelle?
Down a short submarine.
I honestly feel very betrayed by you.
I feel super betrayed.
I might not stick around.
Panic setting, because I don't even know what movie you just said.
Hunt for Red October.
Peter Firth.
And the choices are Peter, Jonathan, or Colin.
Peter Firth.
That's your answer?
That's my answer.
That is correct.
Points.
Points.
Now we're talking.
Points.
Points.
Now we're talking.
Moshe?
Yes?
A movie called Life Force.
I mean, Jonathan Firth?
No.
No, obviously not that.
That's why I put a question mark at the end.
I meant Peter.
Rob?
What's the name of the movie?
Life Force?
Life Force.
Is this a Scientology movie?
No.
Life Forth.
Night Forth starring Firth. That sounds like a Colin Firth
movie. It does? Yeah.
That's incorrect. What?
Noel? Shoot.
Oh God, Peter Firth.
That is right. You did
it.
How many rounds of this are there?
This is crazy.
We're going through all of the films of all three.
The firsts.
Of the firsts.
All the films of the firsts.
All the firsts.
All right.
It is almost over.
Joyelle, this is yours to lose.
All right.
Which one was in The Prince and Me, A Royal Honeymoon?
Peter Firth.
Troyelle.
That was intense.
That is incorrect.
Roger Ailes.
That is incorrect.
Moshe. Colin Fir incorrect. Moshe.
Colin Firth.
Incorrect.
Rob.
Now I got to remember the name of the other guy.
Nobody tell him.
Oh, my neck stitches.
Ow.
Jonathan.
Jonathan is correct.
That's another point for Rob.
What's the score?
The score is Rob has four points,
Joyelle has four points,
and it's really nice of Noel and Moshe to be here
with less points.
So we have to do a tiebreaker between Joyelle and Rob.
All this determines who goes first in our final game tonight.
Wow.
Nervous.
And I can feel my stitches tearing.
I don't feel sorry about your stitches.
It's a plan to win.
I'm going to say one movie.
Who's going first?
You're both going to go at the same time.
Oh my gosh. First one to tell me which first. First's going first? You're both going to go at the same time. Oh my gosh.
First one to tell me which Firth.
Firth one to Firth.
First one to tell me which
Firth was in.
Kingsman. Colin.
That's correct. Rob
Hugel is our winner, but
we still have one more game.
Rob just gets to go first
in Last Woman Stanton.
Where are the cameras?
Yeah, show that to the,
if the cameras were here,
you would have held that up.
They're going to zoom in, right?
And show Aubrey
how hard you're working
for her tonight.
You're going to try to get her
all the prizes.
For no weed,
no Skittles,
no liquor. You got to know how
to pick them. Yeah. I don't know
why you didn't pick some of that stuff glued to it.
And Noelle's has stuff on the back,
right? Yeah. What do you got?
I got some whiskey and Reese's.
Reese's peanut butter cups. Yum.
Reese's. How do you say it?
Oh, wow. How much did you say it? Why did you just lick
the back of her name tag?
Oh, now he's...
There you go.
Damn.
Aubrey put acid on the back of it.
Okay, here we go.
I would have expected that more from Joyelle's name tag.
Yes, this is an acid trip.
To be more drug-deft at.
What's the name of that thing in the desert?
Wasteland.
We gotta go.
Now you're ready.
Now I'm ready.
What would you dress up as?
Man, I don't know.
Medical police.
Yeah.
And you know what I'm going as?
Jacob Seroff, baby!
Alan Dershowitz.
All right.
So I think some people reached out to me on Twitter,
but I didn't check it recently.
But here we have one here in the front row.
You did?
You reached out?
Yeah, you got a suggestion?
I have a mashup if you need.
A mashup?
Get out of here.
Just give me one or the other.
Parker Posey. Yes! He said Parker Posey. Joy joelle's excited i don't i don't know why i just she's mean and i like it all right
hey can i give you a podcast to plug what's the call again the last podcast you'd want
so it's for people who uh don't like themselves and will listen to something that they personally did not want.
The last podcast that you'd want.
And I'm a guest on an episode.
All right.
And somebody else raised their hand.
Not if you have a name tag in play, because that's not fair.
This lady right there.
Helen Mirren.
She says Helen Mirren.
All right.
Neither one of you matched the name that I have written down in my
wallet! But,
you know, so that will
continue to play another day. What's this
part of the show?
This game is called
Confuse Rob Hubel.
I guess you don't get it because you're on acid, man.
But it's clear to the rest of us.
Unfortunately, Rob, this might not be good news for you,
but you're going to take turns naming the films of Parker Posey or Helen Mirren.
My favorites.
They are.
Right?
Yeah.
A couple of great gals doing great work over a long period of time.
They both have a big body of work.
But you can go to your lifeline.
You can go to Aubrey once.
Everybody can use the person whose name tag they chose. You can go to Aubrey once. Everybody can use the person whose name tag
they chose. You can go to them one
time for help. Mine just
cursed at me in my eyes.
We in this baby.
And I like to play
along in this game because
it's fun for me.
And like I said, I've never
met this gentleman.
I was only recorded on his podcast.
So there's no proof that I've met him.
And we're cool.
Parker Posey, Helen Mirren.
Who did we sign?
Oh, Rob, you won that last game.
So we'll start with you, and then we'll go to Moshe.
We'll go around that way.
I just have to name a movie.
Anything that's got Helen Mirrenren or parker posey or both which i'm not sure exists
you never know man come on guys let's just have fun you know you can go to your lifeline immediately. Aubrey. Aubrey, what do you got? I have nothing.
Oh, shit.
Aubrey.
Aubrey's got nothing.
Lick that name tag again.
See if that helps.
Aubrey doesn't have any Helen Mirren or Parker Posey movies?
Think of all the movies that Parker Posey and Helen Mirren are in
and just say one.
Yeah.
It seems easy enough.
You know, like Rob says, you should be able to do it.
But somebody else near you could whisper one in your ear maybe.
Just real quiet.
The competition?
Is there one about like dogs?
Ask first.
Get consent first before you whisper an answer in somebody's stranger's ear.
Isn't Parker Posey in a movie about like dogs and you must love dogs or something like that?
You know, I think she might have read for that, but Diane Lane got the part or something.
Yeah, you can't really...
Please don't say what the actual answer is
because somebody thinks they know
what you're thinking of.
Okay, okay.
Yeah.
Anything, Aubrey?
I don't think Aubrey's going to come through.
Nobody's helping you up there, Aubrey?
Which one?
Red.
Red.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, Helen Mirren's in red.
That's right.
Yeah, now we can keep going.
Now we're talking.
Now we're talking.
Yeah.
Moshe?
So if I guess I'm out, right?
What do you mean?
If I guess and I'm wrong, then I can't use my lifeline.
Well, I mean, I'll let you guess once.
You know, I'm not going to throw you out immediately.
Wasn't she in...
No.
Wait, was she in James Bond?
What?
Hellamere was in James Bond.
Yeah, that movie.
She's the new James Bond.
Wasn't she in James Bond?
Yeah, unfortunately none of them are called just James Bond.
They all...
That's the title of all of them and then there's a subtitle.
No, that's the name of the guy that's in all of them.
His name's never in the title. Was of them and then there's a subtitle no that's the name of the guy that's um his name is never in the title was it um goldfinger
let's go to your lifeline okay lifeline best in show yeah best in shows parker posey yes of course
the queen joelle says the queen colin marion the queen noelle says the queen Colin Mirren the queen Noelle
Waiting for Goffman
this one's gonna really
this is gonna kill you Rob
back to me
my turn
my turn
I'm gonna spoil it
for you
okay
right now
by saying
Red 2
yeah that was my
that was gonna be my next one
is that the name of it though yes it is yeah they went like somebody had a really short work day
yeah uh coming up with red two electric boogaloo yeah uh no colon no subtitle is it my turn
uh you got this like skyfall yeah
i don't know if she is, but...
Then maybe she's in Goldfinger.
No, she's definitely not in Goldfinger,
because that one's from the 60s.
But wasn't she...
She was active in the 60s.
Helen Mirren?
Active?
Yeah.
Wasn't she?
I know she was in this Fellini film.
She was sexually active.
Damn, can I just describe the movie?
Oh, that sounds like a fun game.
It's about a hotel where she's the chef, and it's in India, and some Indian shit happens.
It's called the something, the Bombay, Chez Bombay.
Yeah, you're totally on it.
Okay.
You can totally picture it.
Elizabeth.
Huh?
Elizabeth. Oh, I thought you were like
calling on a lifeline no with Kate Blanchett you tell me I don't know
joy oh I'm mighty wind yeah no well dazedused yes yes can I clarify something
when I said
must love dogs
I was not thinking about
Best in Show
Best in Show
I just want to say that
those are
yeah
those are clearly different to you
yeah
one's a rom-com
and one's a classic
is it my turn
no
it's my turn
but I was
gonna say
to Noel
good job
yeah
that last one you said
was spoken like a true
party girl
that was me
back up
most of
I mean Rob
Casino Royale
what?
do you think Helen Mirren is Judy
Dench? Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
They're both dames.
Yes. You did it.
You did it.
Okay, so you're out.
Moshe. But I don't want to be out.
Oh, you're already out, Joelle. But I don't want to be out. Oh, you're already out, Joel.
You've got mail.
What?
Oh, yeah, Parker Posey's in that.
Oh, that's what I was thinking of when I said must love mail.
I was thinking of that.
Do you have another one, Noelle?
No, Gary, help me out.
No, come on.
Gary doesn't have anything? What a shock. All right, you know what, cats? I'm just kidding, this is help me out. No, come on. All right. Gary doesn't have anything?
What a shock.
All right, you know what?
Cats.
I'm just kidding.
It's Judi Dench.
Yeah, it is Dench.
It's a Dench.
Fucking Dench.
Dench.
All right, so it's my turn.
So I'm going to say for Parker Posey, Superman Returns.
Yeah.
All right.
This is, I'm blanking.
Drawing a blank.
That's cool.
What about your lifeline?
Does she have any?
Lower Laurel looking at me like,
bitch, you on your own on this one.
I know.
Yeah, I was thinking that.
Blade Trinity.
Oh, listen to that.
Blade Trinity.
Look at that.
That's sexy.
It's like Blade, like Wesley Snipes.
Believe her.
She goes to a Mad Max themed festival.
The Blade one.
Believe you, Trinity.
I want to dress up as that. I don't even know what it is.
Is Judi Dench
in the Blade movies?
Yeah, she's the lead. She's Blade.
Yeah.
Yeah. What's the lead. She's Blade. No, no, no. Yeah. What's the one where
people obsessed
with the Kennedy assassination?
House of Yes. That's it.
That's also what they call most improv clubs
like this one.
Alright, so that means Joyelle's our winner!
She did it! I just want to say my homegirl over here is the movie buff, so that means Joyelle's our winner! Yes! She did it!
I just want to say my homegirl over here is the movie buff,
so I just wanted to make her proud of me
because I know she got at least five on hand right now
that she can name right now.
Who, Christina?
Yes, Christina.
Christina is the movie.
Christina, which ones did we leave out?
I immediately just thought of Josie and the Pussycats.
Josie and the Pussycats.
I told you.
Yes. I told you, yes. That was a good one. There weussycats. Josie and the Pussycats. Oh, shoot. Yes.
I told you.
That was a good one.
There we go.
Yeah.
That would have been
my next lifeline.
I just want to say
that my homeboy over here
doesn't know anything
about movies,
so he's proud of me as well.
So, right on.
We did it, man.
That's totally cool.
All right.
So, where's your...
Oh, you're right here.
So, you want to come
get the prizes?
Yay!
Go, Gordo! Go, Gordo!
It's in like three different bags.
And then also, I didn't want to put Moshe's poster in a bag.
Yeah, you want to keep it nice and pristine.
Good t-shirt.
She's got on a Breakfast Club t-shirt.
We like that.
All right.
Yeah.
Do you know what the last line of the Breakfast Club is?
I just found this out recently.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
It's one of a list of movies that has the title of the film as the last line.
And so the last line is...
Sincerely, The Breakfast Club.
And there's not that many, and I just read a list.
Yeah, Anthony Michael Hall's character just decides to call them that
when it's not even... They don't eat breakfast. No one came up with that. that many and I just read a list. Yeah, Anthony Michael Hall's character just decides to call them that when
they don't eat breakfast.
Nobody says that to each other ever.
I guess Ally Sheedy eats a breakfast
sandwich, right? When we had Saturday
detention, it was early, though.
They were there all day.
But they started at 9 a.m., right? I guess so.
I don't know why it's called that.
That's more of a post-breakfast.
Breakfast, lunch, and dinner club.
Yeah, and what did they do for lunch?
They all brought sack lunches, right?
And Ally Sheedy eats a...
Is it a dandruff and Captain Crunch sandwich?
I think.
She makes dandruff on a picture
she drew. She doesn't put it on her sandwich.
But she does make a Captain Crunch
sandwich, I'm sure of that.
Yeah, but that sounds good to me. Aren't all scenes the
same thing? Don't they all happen at once?
Isn't that how movies work? I don't know what
anything is. The janitor
from the Breakfast Club
I forgot
his last name. John Capello. John is
in Medical Police. Thank you.
You better plug.
Look at that.
And what he did
in the Breakfast Club
was he was hard at work
and my album
is all crowd work
so you should check it out.
Crowd surfing.
Kind of a stretch
but we'll allow it.
Yeah, definitely a hard stretch.
Not even that clever of me
but I did want to plug it
one more time.
And I don't surf
because I'm black
but my name is Joyelle
so check me out online.
Welles, that was out. Welles.
That's was fun.
Noel.
Noel.
Sincerely the breakfast club.
Where do people go to buy your music?
Noel Wells.
You can go to my Instagram and,
or it's so nice.
Dot net.
I made my website.
It's really fun.
You can also just listen to it for free
as well on Spotify.
But I have records
and cassettes
and I will be doing
a show February 23rd
at the Comedy Store.
It's a fundraiser.
Oh.
I'm playing some music
and that'll be fun.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm Joelle Nicole.
You can find me online
J-O-Y-E-L-L-E
N-I-C-O-L-E.
I am doing the
Carlson
in Rochester, February 6th
to the 8th. And then the Impractical Jokers
cruise. Cool. Oh yeah, you'll have
fun on that. When does this come out?
Probably in like
two and a half years.
Is it tomorrow? Yeah. Oh, this weekend
I will be at the DC Improv, one of
my favorite clubs in the country. And the place that I recorded
that album. That's where you made the album.
Yeah, that is a great club.
I love it, and it'll be so fun.
And then I'm going to Telluride.
Are you going to Telluride? Yeah, dude.
I'm going to the Telluride Comedy Festival with Sir Medical Police right here.
That'll be a lot of fun.
The weekend, I believe, after that, the 14th.
The 13th or the 17th.
Yeah.
Yeah, we'll both be doing shows in Telluride.
Everybody, come on out.
Fly out there.
I don't even know what that is.
It's in Colorado, and it's the most beautiful place. There's come on out. Fly out there. I don't even know what it is. It's in Colorado,
and it's the most beautiful place.
There's a lot of white women
struggling there.
No, they're not struggling.
I mean, they're rich.
They're not struggling.
I want to go to their thrift stores.
Rob, Medical Police on Netflix.
Do it up.
Treat yourself right.
Yeah.
How many eps?
Ten eps.
Ten eps in a half hour each? You got gotta finish it hour each you gotta fit it not
even no it's like 20 minutes 20 it's good i saw it and it's real good it's real funny yeah we got
10 minutes of credits at the end 10 minutes you'll love it i saw some of it somebody was sitting next
to me on a plane was watching and i looked over and went someday they were watching it on a plane
watch it someday yeah because you can if you have netflix you can download before right on the plane
yeah and then yeah i'm really proud of it yeah i love it good job you're really good in it too
oh man it's true he's good in it what am i what can i say he's good in it thanks buddy
yeah you can you know get my stuff out on all those music places too
i like him as the guy that almost ruined things between uh michael scott and holly flex
yeah i did that.
Yeah, you were in the middle of that love triangle.
What's confusing is that I did like two episodes of The Office
but because that's on Netflix
all these young kids are
still enjoying
The Office. It's such a good show. It's so weird
though because all these kids
will come up to me and my wife in real
life, her name is Holly, but so people
come up to me and they go, they think they, her name is Holly, but so people come up to me,
and they go,
they think they're being funny,
and they go,
stop fucking with Holly.
And it's like,
really,
you know,
in real life,
that's scary.
Like,
I don't know who that is.
It's intense every time,
and they get the name right.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
So,
I don't touch my wife.
Doug Loves Movies is back here
in two weeks
we're going to generally be doing
the second and fourth Tuesday
of every month
so you guys know
when to call me
when you want to come back
one more time
for all my guests
Noelle Wells
Joelle Nicole Johnson
Marcia Kasher
and Rob Hubel
as always
positive energy
now it's time for Doug to watch another Bob Hubel. As always, positive energy.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you.
Cause Doug loves movies.