Doug Loves Movies - Judd Apatow, Aziz Ansari, and Wayne Federman Guest
Episode Date: October 18, 2012Doug welcomes filmmaker Judd Apatow and actor/comedians Aziz Ansari and Wayne Federman to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art...19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky baby city seats
With 50-oz and 5-4 kernels in his feet
There's still not one that he won't see
Because Doug loves movies
Hey everybody I got a bunch of water all over my notes
It's a sweaty water
I touched it to my notes
Good luck to us all
My name is Doug
And I love movies
This is Doug Loves Movies, the show that has occasional discussions about movies.
And sometimes we play movie-related games.
Coming to you from the UCB Theater in Los Angeles, California,
on Tuesday, October 16th, to Oceans 12.
It's the night of the second presidential debates, by the way, which is why I stopped live tweeting halfway through the debates to drive over here and to do this show.
But if you guys don't mind, I'd like to really quickly send a tweet right now.
I guess the debate probably just ended.
So what can I say, having not seen it that will sound
like I have oh I got it this is this is meta live tweeting okay so I wrote, we did it.
I said it wrong.
I wrote a period.
We did it.
Hashtag debate.
Tweet.
All right, so I took care of that.
And since I last spoke a little bit and you listened with frustration, I got a little revenge on Todd Glass by interrupting his podcast the next morning at the LA Podcast Festival.
So be sure to listen for the Todd Glass show from the festival because I had a lot of fun at his show
mostly at his expense.
Although I do acknowledge that all
five of my guests on the
Santa Monica High School show
were, they were all
problematic in
different ways, but
they were all, it was Dave
Anthony's first time, but all four of the other guests have
been on the show before and not
ruined it
at all. They're always a complete
delight. But that four, those
five together, holy shit.
And a helicopter
and a baby and the microphones.
We couldn't understand what each other was saying.
So it was a crazy
ass show and thank you to everyone who's sitting through
it. I'm getting lots of tweets from people
saying they sat through it.
Some seem a little upset.
Others seem to think it was a delight nonetheless.
From the corrections department,
the podcast festival in L.A.
was actually put together by a bunch of dudes,
not just Dave Anthony.
He's the only one I mentioned on the show.
The other co-founders are Graham Elwood, Chris Mancini, Andy Wood did a lot of work at the festival.
And I think they did a great job.
It was a lot of fun.
Were any of you there at the festival?
Nice.
Exciting.
Okay.
Oh, also in the corrections department, Adrian dies between Rocky V and Rocky Balboa.
So thank you for that. J.P. Mendes,
and several other people.
This Sunday, October 21st,
I'll be at Zaney's in Rosemont, Illinois,
O'Hareport adjacent,
with a special guest
who will play the Leonard Maltin game
against audience members
at the end of the stand-up show.
For all of my October dates,
costumes are encouraged.
Now it's time for tweet relief.
Tweets about movies.
Martin Urbano tweeted,
In deleted
scene from
Silence of the Lambs,
they show Buffalo Bill's
will. It just
says, put the lotion in the
casket.
Put the lotion in the casket put the lotion in the casket this has been tweet relief all right let's look in the prize bag that was a good one right i don't know i don't know who
martin urbano is but nicely done hope he didn't like that from somebody. I don't know why I'm accusing him of stealing it.
Here's a bobblehead for a Dodger in the prize bag named Mike Socia.
I think I pronounced that right.
And then we got a Douglas Movies t-shirt.
Some people have been sending me pictures
of themselves wearing them.
I always retweet those.
A performer from the Los Angeles Podcast Festival
brought his laminate
thingy without the cord, though,
so you might lose it.
Without the lanyard.
And I still have another bag
of Doug's Nuts.
And I don't want those at all.
But I'm sure they're
delicious. I just, they've ruined it.
I mean, I'm sure that name's not so bad for other
people, but for me, I don't care ruined it. I mean, I'm sure that name's not so bad for other people, but for me,
I don't care for it. And then
I brought a copy of Smug Life
and
I'll have to get one of the guests to sign
this. It's a DVD of
Bridesmaids.
And so please help
me in welcoming
Judd Apatow, Wayne Fetterman, and
Aziz Ansari.
Thank you.
I know that's all for me.
I know I'm the one you're applauding for.
I appreciate it.
I totally appreciate it.
Thanks for coming out.
It's fun to be here.
It's fun to be here.
Who doesn't belong?
So that was Wayne Fetterman doing all that talking.
Obama just punched Romney.
What?
No.
You had a post-debate scrawl?
Forget it.
Thank you all for being here.
We'll start with Wayne, though, since he first spoke.
Wayne Fetterman, everybody. Thank you. for being here. We'll start with Wayne, though, since he first spoke. Wayne Fetterman, everybody.
Thank you. Please, please. Please, it's too much. Too much for people who barely know who I am. Embarrassing.
Last night I got to see the premiere of Ileana Douglas' Easy to Assemble, season four.
A lot to say. A lot to say. Season four, This End Up.
And it's a series,
it's the fourth season
of this internet series.
Have you seen it, Judd?
It takes place entirely in Ikea.
Or not entirely in it,
but it's about people
that work at an Ikea.
And much of it is shot
in a real Ikea
while it's open for business.
Is there any more?
Is there anything more to say?
Yeah, yeah. I guess that wasn't a question.
Alright, let's move on.
No, where can people see it? You're in it. I am in it.
And it's not Fetterman and out. You're in it throughout the season.
Right, right.
What she did is she kind of figured out
and there was just a whole article in the Wall Street Journal
about it. She figured out how to
do a web series and have it
I guess they call it branded entertainment, would be
the correct term. Is that right? So the whole
thing takes...
You're the expert. You're a young buck.
You know what this is.
Tom Haverford would know.
Yes.
So that's it.
It's very exciting. There's like 11 episodes. It's the fourth season and there's been a lot of great... Goldbloom's been's it. So, yeah, it's very exciting.
There's like 11 episodes.
It's the fourth season,
and there's been a lot of great...
Goldbloom's been on it.
You know, it's a fun show.
And she plays herself as an IKEA employee
who's like thinking of giving up show business.
Yeah, she's just...
Eliana Douglas goes to work at an IKEA.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And it's, you know, and it's so...
It's just weird,
because I'm a huge fan of hers
and I remember her
from Goodfellas.
Do you remember that movie?
Yes, and of course,
De Niro bit her face off
in Cape Fear.
Cape Fear, yeah.
Yeah.
So, I don't know.
She writes it and creates it
and it's really fun
to be part of
and that's all I have to say.
And guess where it's at?
It's on the internet.
So you have to click.
You have to click and thing and highlight.
Yeah, YouTube.
And the episodes are four minutes long, and the first two came out today.
Today, yeah.
So I'm just thrilled to be part of that.
I mean, Judd has a big movie coming out.
It's not quite that, but it's...
What's the name of that movie?
It's 40, and we just saw it.
We just saw it.
Yeah, yesterday.
It was so exciting.
First of all, Judd Apatow is here, everybody.
Because of your fanciness, you were like,
well, you should see This is 40 before I come on your movie show.
And I was like, that's awesome.
But you're not going to send me a screener
of a big Universal Christmas release
several months ahead of time.
So Wayne, I invited Wayne to join me.
And we went and got to have a private screening
in a fancy screening room at Universal.
There was even like a button I could push and say,
could you hold the movie for a moment?
Did you use it?
There seems to be a focus problem.
No, that's the thing.
She goes, she taught me about the button.
Wayne goes, all right, I'm going to run to the restroom
and then we'll watch the movie.
The second Wayne walks out the door,
ba-ba-ba, like the universal theme comes blaring on.
Wayne can't find the bathroom.
He finally gives up and comes back.
And this is probably a good review of the film.
You had to pee the entire movie, but you
never got up and left. You watched
the entire thing. And we know your movie's never short.
Never short.
I didn't get
an invite to this screening. I still
haven't seen the movie. I got an email about
seeing the movie from some woman.
Her name was Sharon.
I got an email about a screening in New York, and I was like, I'm not in New York. There's one tomorrow. Her name was Sharon. And I got an email about a screening
in New York. And I was like, I'm not in New York.
There's one tomorrow. In LA? Yeah.
I'll go to that. Alright.
You sure you're not...
You're kayaking tomorrow, aren't you?
Yes.
You've got to finally get around to using that thing.
But this woman emailed me.
This woman emailed me.
And she was like, we're not doing any screenings in L.A.,
but the premiere is in December.
I was like, great, I'll come to that.
And I was like,
I heard you're DJing the after party.
And she was like,
yes, there will be an after party.
There should be a DJ.
I was like, no, I heard you're DJing.
Is that true?
She was like, no, no, no.
I was like, I saw a flyer with your face on it.
And I just kept it going way too long
with someone that had zero interest in joking around.
Well, if you're not DJing, you're probably missing
because I see your face all over.
It's on a lot of posts.
So that's
Aziz Ansari everybody
also
in the facility
and I didn't invite you to the screening
because I didn't go willy nilly with inviting
people myself but I guess I could
have brought a few people because
the screening was just for us
there was about 25 seats there
was it intimate for you guys watching it together? Did you have a
shared experience of some kind? I think so.
We laughed at different things and
we looked at each other sometimes.
But we sat a few
seats apart from each other. There's no reason to get all cozy
when it's already a tiny room.
But the craziest
part for me is there's a guy
that's making sure we're not going to steal it.
We're not going to videotape it. So there's a guy whose job, he we're not gonna steal it that we're not gonna videotape yeah there's a guy whose job he's a security
guy that looks like he could give a shit about the latest anything sorry judge
any movie yes that fucking guy's got to sit through Les Mis a bunch of times
there's just a guy he just had to sit there at first he was standing and I was
like this is gonna creep me out if a guy's standing just watching us the
whole time when are we gonna get to me out if a guy's standing just watching us the whole time.
When are we going to get to masturbate if this guy doesn't hit the bricks?
But then eventually he just was like, and he even sat down like this.
It was even kind of like.
And I never looked at him because I just felt like it'd be weird to look at him.
But I also thought it was weird that there's scenes of people having sex and stuff.
And I never care about the rest of the audience when there's a whole rest of an audience.
But it was interesting to see a movie
that's that dirty with just two dudes.
And he ever...
And one of them's got...
I think two of them had ties on.
Yeah, it was weird.
We had Super Usher behind us.
But did he laugh ever?
I don't think I ever heard him laugh.
That might have been the 20th time he's seen it. Yeah.
But I would laugh still if I saw
that 20 times because
different things would make you laugh
if you miss things, but also
there's some really solid, hilarious things in there.
And Albert Brooks is in it
we should say. Oh, my favorite.
Who's so great and
past guest John Lithgow, hopefully future guest again in it, we should say. Who's so great.
Past guest John Lithgow, hopefully future guest
again on this show,
is in the movie. He's not exactly the most
light-hearted character.
If you were to give me a quote to put in the ads
from you,
what would it be?
And Aziz can do one too.
We loved it. Ushers hate it.
Security fucking couldn't care, but we liked it a lot. too. We loved it. Ushers hate it. Security
fucking couldn't care, but we liked it a lot.
I'd be a little bit more
delicate about it. I'd just say, not for old
fucks.
Haven't been invited to screening.
That would be an awesome quote
for a movie ad.
Have some goddamn fun with it.
Yeah, your daughters are in it?
Yeah, my daughters are in it,
and I pay them, and then I can keep the money myself.
Judd has the best...
It's the best scam he's got going,
because he can be sitting at his computer going,
I would really like to see my wife play with Megan Fox's breasts.
And then you write the scene, and then it happens.
They're both into it.
That's right.
Genius.
Genius.
I can have her make love to Paul Rudd at will.
See, that part's a little creepier.
I'm a little less comfortable with that part.
On your behalf, I didn't like seeing the two of them
hook up. Very close. The camera was very
close on those shots.
How did that work? Video village
when you're sitting watching that. Well, I like
it. I like it because
I just know how disgusted she is, so I
like it. With certain people, I can tell she likes it
and then I get grossed out. But if she doesn't
like it, it's like a cruel game.
The rest of us,
we're all gonna,
for the next 15 minutes,
we're all gonna talk about Fast 6,
a movie that hasn't come out
that we all saw
and you guys haven't seen.
What?
Let's talk about that scene
where Dominic Toretto steals the tank.
Are they really gonna call it Fast 6?
The last one was called Fast 5.
I know.
This one just sounds like a slightly longer handjob.
Or it's that, you know, one of those people with six fingers.
Oh.
Not cool, Doug.
Oh.
I would have lied.
Lost the six-fingered listeners.
I just realized that Wayne wasn't in This Is 40,
and he was in Knocked Up,
and I should have brought your character back.
Well, I was a little troubled that at the very least,
Leslie didn't ever yell at him like,
first fantasy football.
Was it football or baseball?
Baseball.
Baseball.
Fantasy baseball.
First fantasy baseball. Now, you know what I mean? Because they've sort of been Baseball. Fantasy baseball. First fantasy baseball.
Now, you know what I mean?
Because they've sort of been through that.
They've been through that before.
Well, I loved the way you mentioned Seth Rogen's character.
Right.
The last time I saw Ben, he gave me a bunch of weed.
Yeah.
That was awesome.
And that's the only mention of him in the entire movie.
Yeah, but at least it's there.
You know what I mean?
So I should call back every aspect of Knocked Up in the movie.
Just have Martin Starr walk by with a crazy long beard.
All the way to his feet.
But no, we did talk about that.
Because I have been in every one of Judd's movies up until this is 40.
So this could be a horrible mistake.
It was like a jinxing of myself.
No, it's not a jinx at all.
Because you were in the nightclub with Randy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's right.
Reunion.
Didn't even realize it.
I know.
Well, I was in character.
I was wearing a vest.
I was wearing a vest.
When is the last time Randy has seen the light of day?
In the performance?
Yeah.
I don't know.
I was just doing it when we were doing the movie,
and then I did it when I recorded my special,
and that was probably the last time I did it, I think.
Do people yell out for it at shows?
Yeah.
I mean, you know, once you do anything in comedy,
people will pick the thing they're going to yell at you. So now it's, you know, Randy occasionally,
treat yourself, various other things just just tom
did people yell stuff at you like stuff that you've written uh
no no they don't they don't yell heavyweights
seltzer crime
but uh but that was like a funny Every winning Larry Sanders show
When you were doing Randy
It was really fun watching you
Create the character
Because we said okay we want to do
The incredibly successful obnoxious
Comedian and Aziz took
Old jokes which he
I guess you didn't want to use them anymore
And just turbo charged them and made them obnoxious and then
danced around a lot after every joke
and then you brought a DJ
into it and then the
DJ would start scratching after every
single joke and then the crowds would go crazy
and we couldn't tell if they were going crazy because
they were in on the fact that we were making fun
of comedy or they just loved Randy
it was a very the craziest
time when I did Randy
was eventually I just started
writing jokes just for
Randy which were just about like all about
just getting your dick sucked all the time.
That's just like all his premises were just like
isn't it crazy when you're getting your dick sucked
and then X happens?
That's like the template.
And I dropped in at the
Laugh Factory and like I just told the guy like just introduce me as this guy Randy don't say I'm like a guy at the laugh factory and like i just told him i like
just introduced me as this guy randy don't say i'm like a guy working on a character and just
pretend like this is a real guy and no one in the audience like knew my other stuff and thought this
was a real guy and this one table was just so into it and i just thought it'd be so amazing if i just
went up to him afterwards and was like, that's a character.
That's not a real person.
The person you really liked is a fake person.
Did it bother you that people liked Randy?
No, because I think that stuff is funny and entertaining.
I do think they're well-written jokes,
even though they're about the most absurd, stupid things.
There is solid writing behind it.
You can only coast
so much on just like the charm of yelling about your dick like that'll that will carry you for
like a minute or two but also jumping around is delightful like a lot of comics don't do it
because it'd be exhausting it it it carries you for a minute or two but you know you've got to
have the well-written dick-sucking jokes behind it
or else it'll all fall apart real fast.
Do you have anything movie-wise that you've finished up that's in the can, as they say?
Movie-wise? No.
I've been shooting Parks and Rec.
More Parks and Rec. More Parks and Rec.
Treat yourself.
And I just did a
stand up tour when we had the hiatus
and yeah
I'm gonna reboot Jingle All The Way
for Christmas
in December so I do have that coming
so just in time for the holidays
Jingle All The Way
you brought
for the prize bag some energy sheets
yeah these things are awesome. These are energy sheets.
These, okay, so the way it works is
it's like those breath strips,
only they, you know, you put them on your tongue
and they dissolve on your tongue.
But these have energy.
It's just caffeine and vitamin B.
There's no calories, no sugar, there's no crash.
And they're pretty amazing.
They really get you fired up in a way I have never experienced with any other energy product.
I don't like 5-Hour Energy.
I don't like Red Bull.
I love energy sheets.
And yeah, it's pretty serious stuff.
So I brought those.
I also forgot to bring a gift, and these were in my bag.
But they're a great gift. Oh, shit. You all are excited, and I shouldn't have said that. I also forgot to have I also forgot to bring a gift And these were in my bag So No
But they're a great gift
Oh shit
You all are excited
And I shouldn't have said that
No but these are great
There's some guy trying to yell
Something about it over here
What?
What's up?
If Randy would take one
I'm getting his big sack
I want one
Okay
Alright
That was helpful
That really wasn't worth it
But what the gentleman
What the gentleman said was
I hope Parks and Rec gets picked up
for another season.
I think we all agree. It really goes without saying.
I brought a gift
which is a $50 gift card
to Sephora.
That's very nice.
That's real.
Give me before you change your mind.
They have makeup and also makeup.
And it's Rob Delaney's favorite place to fart.
I don't know what to fart.
They sell makeup.
You know, this is exciting for me.
Can you sign your copy of Bridesmaids?
This is exciting for me to be here with Wayne.
Because Wayne, I think Wayne was the first comedian I met
when I moved to California in 1985.
And did you
just move there like that day or within a few
days of that also? It was actually, I was on
a kind of a fact-finding trip
in the fall of 85, yeah.
And we met outside the Laugh Factory, right?
We met outside the Laugh Factory and
have been friends ever since and
I'm sorry I didn't put you in This Is 40.
No, it's fine.
It's fine.
I just realized how long we've known each other.
27 years.
It is so...
We were talking about it.
It's so fun to watch it.
And obviously, it's super personal.
I mean, it is like you go there.
It's a documentary.
Should I not have gone there? No, no.
Why don't other people go there?
Alright. Because I
know you. Because I just know you and your life.
And so it's like, it was just really...
Wayne, it's all fictional.
What? What would that movie be
like if Martin Scorsese hired someone
to play him and then just made a movie about his
life and what he does or
anybody like that.
It's not something
people do since, I guess, Woody Allen.
But nothing in the movie actually
has happened in real life.
It's just emotionally
accurate.
I have not ever asked Leslie to look at my
anus to tell
me if there was a worm or a tear.
Rudd just showed up
one day
and asked everybody
on the set.
It's a metaphor
for life.
That's all.
And you put
a Les Mis song
in the movie.
I was happy to hear that.
That's product placement
right there
to promote
the next Universal picture.
Yeah, like four days later.
Four days later.
You're essentially
competing against each other.
Yeah, they'll crush me.
John Valjean will beat the shit out of me.
You're so excited about that movie, aren't you?
Who is that man to go to jail for me?
I gave my life to God, you know.
I learned that lesson long ago.
He gave me hope when hope was gone.
He gave me strength to carry on.
Who am I?
Who am I?
Two, four, six, oh, what? Who am I? Who am I? 2-4-6-0-1
I know 2-4-6-0-1
I don't mind having them crush me
Hugh Jackman's gonna nail that
It's gonna be good, I gotta say
It's gonna be good, they're all muddy
They're all dirty
It's like a battle going on
People are gonna get killed
Anne Hathaway has
sexy short hair.
Then she dies. I don't care for that look.
I associate the short hair look with
someone who didn't want a haircut and got one
anyway. It's traumatic.
She cut off her hair to sell it, right?
Yeah, and they really sing on the set.
They don't sing to pre-recorded
tracks.
It's going to be good.
I like to promote all the movies that are up against us.
Zero, Six, Thirty?
Zero, Dark, Thirty.
Zero, Dark, Thirty?
That's the Bin Laden killing movie.
That comes out the same day as us,
so you should see that, too.
You can see them both on the same day.
All right.
This is 40, and then you kill Bin Laden afterwards.
I just thought of a slogan for Les Mis.
I just thought of a slogan for Les Mis from the director of
fucking King's Speech.
Oh, so Wayne Fetterman,
do you still do your annual
International Film Festival?
Yes, I do.
That'll be in January.
It's in a family.
Yep.
And tell people the premise.
A couple people know about it.
What's the premise of the festival?
The premise of the festival is this.
I pick comedians to select a movie that they love or were inspired by, but cannot be in.
They cannot be in the movie.
So it's not like a self-promotion thing.
So your movie could be This Is 40.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
It's probably January. It's probably a little too soon for it to be playing CineFamily
that would be a bad sign
or a special event
or a crazy thing
so last year
Gary Shandling did it
and he picked the Martin Scorsese movie
I'm blanking on the name
The King of Comedy.
And so because that really informed
the Larry Sanders show and it was a really great night
and it was kind of
he was a little emotional talking about
seeing the movie again and what it meant to him
so that was a great night. So this
year we have, so far, signed up.
We got Patton Oswalt. He has not picked
his movie yet and
Sacha Baron Cohen is going to be doing it.
And then there's three other slots.
I am thinking that Sacha Baron Cohen is going to pick a Peter Sellers movie.
Or maybe Alec Guinness.
What do you think the other guy is going to do?
I don't know.
He has such a wide palette when it comes to movies.
I have no idea.
But hopefully something.
Somebody's going to have to answer a question across a bridge
or have some goats or something.
Maybe Fistfoot Way or something.
What?
Or Footfist Way.
Footfist Way, yeah.
What is it called?
Footfist Way.
Footfist Way.
Come on, Wayne.
Just Fitfust it.
Be Fitfust at it.
Come on, dude.
Yeah, maybe that. What would you pick? What would you pick? Yeah, that's what I was getting to next. Oh, I'm sorry.fussed it. He fitfussed it in. Come on, dude. Yeah, maybe that.
What would you pick?
What would you pick?
Yeah, that's what I was getting to next.
Oh, I'm sorry.
It's all right.
Go ahead, you ask.
You have hosting instincts.
Wait, what?
What would be a movie you'd like to show an audience?
Check this out.
It influenced me.
It influenced?
Who would you have loved?
And just like, oh my God.
Die Hard.
Yeah.
That totally works.
No, when I was a kid,
I watched way more
action movies
than I did comedies.
I watched Die Hard,
Terminator 2.
I watched those movies
all the time.
Hilarious movies.
They're funny.
Yes.
But comedy-wise,
you know what movie
I watched a lot
when I was a kid
that I still watch a lot?
Coming to America.
I think that holds up
really well.
I love that Eric La really well. I love that
Eric LaSalle from ER is that
guy with the long
hair and the jerry curl.
What about you, Judd? What do you think?
Maybe
Welcome to the Dollhouse.
Oh, that's an interesting
pick. That was a big inspiration
when we were doing Freaks and Geeks. I loved there was all these
dinner table sequences
where they would get mad at her
and not let her have her cake
and give her cake to her sister.
Eat her cake.
But I thought that was a great movie
and a great kind of underdog Freaks and Geeks-ish.
Yeah, it'd be fun to see that
with like a packed theater over there at the CineFamily.
So maybe we can make that happen?
Would you do it?
Probably.
Alright! Total commitment!
100% on board!
He's canceling his vacation plans.
Push back the start of the next movie.
When can we look forward to This is 41?
Exactly.
That's December 21st, 2013.
I would do it every seven years for the rest of my life.
Like Michael Apted?
Yeah, absolutely.
I love it.
I think that no one else really does that,
a sequel every seven years with the same family.
Before Sunrise, before Sunset.
Oh, that's true.
They're going to do it.
Those are pretty huge intervals between movies, yeah.
Yeah, I think they have another one
coming out in eight years.
Isn't there one with colors in it also?
Red, white, and blue?
Yeah.
Wasn't that multiple years?
I don't know how many years apart those were.
But thank you for playing our game.
I'm wrong.
I'm wrong.
I'm wrong.
Not necessarily.
I just can't confirm.
Now, Doug and I, we've known each other since 87?
Pretty soon after you first met Wayne, I'm sure.
We ran around and did a lot of the same shows.
We weren't very good.
You said that on some other show recently, and I was like, what?
And I wrapped everyone into it like we all
weren't very good. Yeah, yeah. But we had fun
though. And that's what matters.
We cracked each other up.
What was your rent in your apartment back then?
Oh, I don't even remember.
You know, probably like
400 bucks or something.
I was paying 425.
And my roommate, Adam Sandler, was paying 475
because he had the bathroom in his bedroom.
And he paid $50 extra
for that privilege.
And you guys had the air conditioning
cranked at all times.
So it was always freezing. I'd have to bring a sweater.
Yeah. He had a thing about
the apartment being like 60 degrees
always.
60? Yeah. I mean it was just
freaking ice cold.
And I'm not sure why.
How are you supposed
to stay hard
when it's so cold?
All right,
does anybody hunger
for games?
Sure.
Yes.
This is the part
I warned you guys about.
Aziz and Wayne have experienced it before.
Wait, what is this?
This is Judd's first time to this.
Okay, these people...
Go ahead, explain.
Oh, maybe, Aziz, it's been so long since you've been on
that this wasn't happening yet.
Okay.
You get to select someone in the audience
based on their name tag
that you'd like to play for
when we play the Leonard Maltin game,
which you have played that.
Yeah, I have played that. Wayne, you go first.
I'm grabbing that computer right over there.
Everybody just get up and go, just walk over
and just take the name tag you want to play for
from the person.
There's some Frankenberry.
The food items are always good.
There's a...
Instead of Looper,
it says Luker.
You know, I haven't seen Looper but
that's about ADR
right
that's a Hollywood
ridiculous stupid
thing to say
it's about people
who do voice
oh Judd
yeah Judd picked
a very creative
yeah that's bright
blinking thing
I'll do the guy
that threw the
owl you have to go get it yeah go grab it from him he doesn't just very creative blinking thing. I'll do the guy that threw the owl.
You have to go get it.
Yeah, go grab it from him.
He does it.
Just touch it.
Just wash your hands right after the show.
He drew Alf.
So Judd's got a bucket of candy
that's got lights on on the inside of it.
And some Whoppers and some Reese's and some Kit Kats.
And it says Summer.
So that's your name, Summer?
Okay.
I was going to say...
I can't get your name back on this computer.
What happened?
Oh, no, we lost the name tag aspect of it.
Topic one is like some sort of...
Topics of discussion.
Introduction.
Thank you, thank you.
Oh, she used to bring a Frisbee,
and I always worry that I'm pronouncing her name wrong.
How would you pronounce it, Wayne?
It's Kala.
It's almost like Kala, but without the Jew.
It's de-Jewed Kala.
Incorrect. It's incorrect.
You're telling me this isn't Kala?
It's not.
What do you think this is, Judd?
Kala.
What do you think it is?
It's not Kala. It's not Kala. What do you think it is, Aziz? It's not Kala, it's not Kala.
What do you think?
Kaya.
Kaya?
I don't know, it's not Kala.
That's what it looks like.
K-L-L-A.
Let's just change it to Kala.
That's why I always worry I'm saying it wrong,
but it's Kala.
Oh, okay.
Oh, that's ridiculous.
Okay, so it's just...
I thought it was something...
Understandable mispronunciation.
Yeah, okay, Kala and...
Aziz is playing for...
Who drew an Alf picture for you?
Al? Is that your name?
Oh, I see. He crossed out the F.
But Alf is saying,
Hey, Willie, I eated all the pussy.
Because Alf was famous
for his cunnilingus.
for his cunnilingus.
And, uh... Wayne's playing for...
Oh, and Judd's playing for Summer.
Wait, I want to show...
Are you ready for the Summer?
This is her screensaver.
It's young Michael Jackson.
What is going on?
By the way, you use PowerPoint.
You don't use Keynote, I would think.
I think it would be part of the family.
I like family.
Go ahead.
Since it's his first time, we'll start with Judd.
Yeah.
I will pick, you will get to pick between three categories, Judd,
that you would like to play in the Leonard Maltin game.
Starting with, at Kubrick97 on Twitter
suggested stoned presidents
and that's movies
about presidents directed by Oliver
Stone.
Or, we just did a show the other
night at Santa Monica High School
and I didn't get a chance to say this
but Nicolas Cage
and Sean Penn both attended that school.
So movies that feature Nicolas Cage and Sean Penn.
In the same movie?
Yeah.
So as you can see, some categories are narrowed down considerably.
In this case, it's probably narrowed down to three and two movies.
Hold on.
But I'll give you one with a little bit...
Yeah, don't use...
Don't use Cal's computer.
I am gaming.
Okay.
Be sure to use your microphone, Wayne.
I got it, sorry.
I'm just doing a mime bit for the crowd.
Brandon L. Starr,
Starr with two Rs,
suggested Sarah Silverman,
and that's movies that have
a female robot in them.
Whoa.
I just know Small Wonder,
and that's a TV show.
Yeah, and don't,
try not to pre-guess.
So which one of those
would you like to play, Judd?
I'll play the Nicolas Cage
and Sean Penn movies. Okay, would you like... I'm still trying to think of what the second one is. Would you like to play, Judd? I'll play the Nicolas Cage and Sean Penn movies.
Okay.
I'm still trying to think of what the second one is.
Would you like a Nicolas Cage, Sean Penn movie from 1982 or 1984?
Well, that just kind of gives it away, doesn't it?
Maybe.
84.
Okay.
I'll tell you some things about this movie.
Leonard Maltin gave it three stars out of Bomb to four stars.
Again, the year is 1984.
He says that this movie...
That one of the sets where the movie takes place,
Leonard says, is a gem!
Exclamation point.
So remind me to explain the rest of that later.
And he also says that the movie has appealing stars.
And he lists nine names.
So now the question is, how many names do you think you can name it in?
And if you think you know the movie, you can bid zero names,
or you could bid negative names.
If you think you can name the cast reading from the top of the list down,
like if you know the stars of the movie in what order.
I know.
It's a lot to throw at you.
What's the last part?
The last part is, you think you know the name of the movie?
Yeah.
Do you think you know who's the top-billed person in it?
Yeah, that's a tough one on this movie.
So you say negative one if you think you can do that,
but if you can't, you should just keep it at zero
if you think you know the name of the movie.
Or you could bid like four or five names
and get to hear some names,
and then that'll help you to decide
if you are correct in your assumption of what it is.
Okay.
I gave you your option.
I feel like if I just say the name of the movie,
the whole game isn't fun and the night ends.
Well, that's why you've got to do the bidding.
You've got to say zero names.
And you could be wrong.
Okay, I'm going to go negative one.
Okay.
So next we go to Wayne.
I'm going to say name the movie.
Okay, so you just need to tell me the name of the movie
and the top-billed performer.
I'm going to say
Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
And?
And the top billed performer.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Billed.
Jennifer Jason Leigh.
No, the top billed performer
is Sean Penn.
Oh my God.
And it's because it's not Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
It's the other movie they did together
called Racing with the Moon.
Fast Times was 82?
Yeah.
And Leonard says,
that bowling alley is a gem.
Very excited about the bowling alley in Racing with the Moon.
So Bowling Alley enthusiasts.
Elizabeth McGovern was in Racing with the Moon.
So cute.
Liked her.
If I'm not mistaken, a young Doug Benson is in that movie.
What movie?
Fast Times at Ray's.
Oh, yes.
I'm not in Racing with the Moon, you lunatic.
You moonatic. All right, well, two years earlier you were in a movie. Yeah. No, it, yes. Like, I'm not racing with the moon, you lunatic. You moonatic.
All right, well, two years earlier, you were in a movie.
Yeah.
No, it's true.
That was the first thing I was ever in.
And they shot it at the same mall that later I was in,
the scene where Arnold Schwarzenegger swings through the mall in Commando,
which was so much fun to shoot because the mall was closed,
but all the extras were told, okay, now panic.
And it was just so much fun
to run around panicking in a mall
knowing that it's not real.
That was easy.
Did you ever do extra work in a movie?
No.
No?
Just straight to top billing.
I didn't know anybody.
I just moved up here.
Some of us had to kind of...
Straight to being in movies for three minutes.
The only people I knew when I moved up here
were people that did that kind of stuff.
And then when I fell into stand-up comedy,
like four or five months after I moved to L.A.,
that's when I started hanging out with all the guests on this show.
I remember Rob Schneider's wife at the time.
She used to be an extra on
Cheers. And it was like,
oh my god, you get to sit at the bar
at Cheers. You've got the best
job ever.
That had to be horrible, right?
I mean, not horrible, but
the tapings go on for hours
and hours of just sitting there.
Yeah, but afterwards you get to fuck Kelsey Grammer.
And they didn't have...
Like, being an extra now
is probably a lot easier because you have your
fucking cell phone.
You can sit there and do shit on your phone.
Then you have to read the LA Weekly.
When I used to be an extra in things, we'd just sit around
and just, you know, people would bring
folding chairs, especially the
older ones, and then some book
or something. And I'd just spend the afternoon in a parking lot
watching somebody read a book.
Must have been horrifying
watching someone read like that.
Why don't you read a book?
I don't read books in parking lots.
I sat there and waited for computer technology
so that I could watch movies
when I was sitting and waiting.
Five years before you did extra work
on Fast Times, I was an extra in a movie.
John Frankenheimer film, Black Sunday.
Were you in the stadium scene?
I am in the Orange Bowl, yeah.
Nice.
Row K in the blue section, if you're...
Anyone's curious.
Have you ever gone for a ride in the Goodyear blimp?
No. I have. What? That's in the Goodyear blimp? No
I have
What?
That's right
I'm a blimp dropper
I'll let you know when I get around to getting on the Fiji one
Fiji? Fuji
Fuck
Cola?
Fuji fucking blimp
Alright so
That means that Wayne got the point
So we'll start with Aziz Get him involved God I hate dominating like this Fuji fucking blip. All right, so that means that Wayne got the point.
So we'll start with Aziz, get him involved.
God, I hate dominating like this.
And then we'll go in the opposite direction.
So it goes Aziz, Wayne, and then Judd.
So you got a second here, Judd, to prepare for what's coming at you.
Aziz gets to pick a category.
At the Daz, D-A-Z suggested Crankin' Weenie.
And Crankin' Weenie is a movie where someone is caught masturbating.
We can't play that category right now,
because we all know what movie I picked for that.
That's hilarious.
I did not even realize I loaded the same movie into two different categories.
All right, at EricaHatesOwls,
I'll just play that one next week, and none of the guests will know the difference.
Erica Hates Owls suggested paranormal blacktivity and that's movies that have an African-American ghost in them.
Whoa, that is going to be tough to beat.
That's like one of my favorite things I've heard in life.
Okay, well, this is pretty good too.
It's Angela Lansbury's birthday today.
So the films of Angela Lansbury.
Or for your third choice, you can go with...
Oh, here's a good one.
We're going to need a bigger float.
That's movies that have a parade in them.
So bigger float or Angela Lansbury or Blacktivity?
So tough.
Oh, wait, no, it's not.
Black Ghost.
Maybe Angela Lansbury solved the murder of that person.
That Black ghost.
Did she ever solve a murder case that was a black person?
I don't think so.
I think it was a very white community she was solving crimes in.
Two and a half stars is eased for this movie
that has an African-American ghost in it from 1996.
Leonard calls it over long.
And he also, I know he says that a lot.
He also says definitely not for all tastes.
And he lists 13 names.
Wait a second.
12 names.
12 names. How many names do you think you can name?
And there has to be an African American ghost.
Yeah, from 1996.
1996. I think I can
I can do it in one name.
For reals?
What? For reals? Yeah, name. For reals? What? For reals?
Yeah, Wayne.
For reals.
I think Wayne's going to take this whole thing down
just because you guys are too confident.
Name that ghost.
Okay.
All right.
Your one name.
Would you like the clues again?
96.
Overlong.
Two and a half stars.
Two and a half stars.
And your one name.
So this is the 12th built person.
Wait, oh, it's the 12th built person.
Yeah.
Shit.
I thought it was like the first person.
So I think this one name might not be enough help for you.
What if it was, though?
The one on the other end would be a lot of help.
Okay, let's hear it.
What you were thinking you would get.
Okay, all right, well, let's hear it.
It's Arlie Ermey.
Arlie Ermey?
The great Arlie Ermey.
That actually is not a bad 12th name to get,
because he's only been in a couple of movies.
Yeah, let's narrow it down.
It's not Saving Silverman.
Fuck, man.
One guy over there.
I don't think this guy was in this movie
that I thought it was.
It has a black ghost?
There's only like one movie with a black ghost.
Yeah, what's the black ghost movie?
Ghost Dad.
Oh, shit.
There's two.
Wait, I know
another one. I know another one. What is it?
Is it that Chris Rock movie?
He was a ghost? Yeah.
Doesn't he die in that?
Yes, but he plays a white
guy, or people think he's a white ghost, so he's
technically a black guy
trapped in the body of a white ghost.
So, nice try with your
black ghost history.
I felt very confident about that.
Save it for February.
What movie is this?
Can you tell us what movie it is?
Yeah, that's how this works.
Wait.
No, that's...
Good night, everybody.
It's the
one name you would have gotten if you
What was the top name? The top name would have been
Michael J. Fox, the gentleman behind
me. And that would have been The Frighteners?
Frighteners, yeah.
You know, there's a black ghost in that. I never saw Frighteners.
With everybody's favorite Chai McBride
as the black ghost with the big afro
and he's even on the poster.
Was that a Peter Jackson movie?
Yeah. That's why Leonard wasn't totally
into it because it was overlong
and not for everybody.
That means Wayne Fetterman is our winner, everybody.
Thank you.
Calla!
Wow.
You got crushed.
Sorry.
Oh, there you are. There's your prize bag. You got crushed Sorry I did not know
Oh there you are
There you are
There's your
There's your prize bag
And let's give her
Let's give her a computer back
Yeah
And let's see
Oh good
He wrote a shithead
On the back of the ALF sign
And
Summer do you
Is your shithead
Written on the bottom
Of that thing or something
No
Okay can you just come
And write one down for me
The consolation prize for people
who you guys were playing for
that didn't win the bag today
is I will name anyone they want,
I will call anyone they want a shithead.
Oh, nice.
On their behalf.
What?
One of them's very confusing.
I hope this one's more concise.
Oh, boy.
All right, so any plugs?
No, I've already said everything I've ever done.
I've done my entire resume.
You did mention Charlie's Angels Full Throttle.
That's true.
Good point.
And watch for Aziz on Parks and Rec Thursday nights.
9.30.
9.30. 9.30.
And Judd Apatow's This Is 40 December 21st.
That's right.
And December 25th is Les Mis.
Well, please, if you want to come back and sing some more from Les Mis, that would be awesome.
I can't wait to see it.
I've already seen it. I was looking forward to This Is 40 and Les Mis, so would be awesome. I can't wait to see it. I've already seen,
I was looking forward to This is 40 and Les Mis,
so you took care of one of those already.
And thanks again to all three of my guests.
Let's hear it for them.
Judd Apatow,
Aziz Edzari,
Wayne Fetterman
of the Wayne Fetterman International Film Festival.
I'll be at Stand Up Live in Phoenix, Arizona,
October 27th at 4.20
doing a stand up with some Leonard Maltin game at the end
and as always
Melissa Sullivan is a shithead
so that's, you know, some people use it
to go personal
and some people use it to confuse me
completely
also as always, Willem Dafoe's
wiener the night of all butt fucks
Eve is a shithead Also, as always, Willem Dafoe's wiener, the night of all butt fucks, Eve,
is a shithead.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of old, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you
because Doug loves movies.