Doug Loves Movies - Justin Long, Arden Myrin, Big Jay Oakerson and Geoff Tate guest
Episode Date: May 2, 2022Live from The Avalon in Los Angeles as part of the Netflix is a Joke Fest, Doug welcomes Justin Long, Arden Myrin, Big Jay Oakerson and Geoff Tate to the show.You can find the entire archive ...of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."Get Surfshark VPN at https://surfshark.deals/DLM - Enter promo code DLM for 83 % off and three extra months free! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
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Doug hates candy wrappers screening baby sticky seeds
With 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies
Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies.
Oh, that was so beautiful.
I brought a prize box today.
Yes, someone's going to win this box. I just wanted to
show it to you and then I'm going to throw it on the ground.
It says Severance
on the side of it. And it looks like
one of those boxes you use to pack up
your shit and leave your job.
And there's even a
big cardboard Lumen,
the evil company in the show Severance.
And, you know just
some random ass items like some coffee it says lumen on it and a cocktail
shaker this is after party and probably the best thing in here is had this is a
fugitive long live quibi and all the great programming that they have over there on Quibi.
Alright, so that's
what I'm here to do today. Since this is Netflix
is a joke festival, I'm just going to
rag on all the other companies
and streamers, especially the ones that failed
completely.
Oh my.
Let's see what else it says on here
I carefully prepare all of this
We're coming to you from the Avalon Theater
As part of Netflix's joke festival
In Hollywood, California
All right
It's Sunday, May 1st, 2022
at 420-ish in the afternoon.
It's time for Doug Plugs already.
Wow, this show is flying by.
I'm going to be going to Chicago O'Hare this week
to do stand-up comedy in a nearby club
called Zany's in Rosemont, Illinois.
May the 4th be with
you and me.
I fuck this all up. There's one
out in Chicago. That's where I'm going to
be on May the 4th.
And then on Cinco de Mayo,
I'm doing Douglass movies in Rosemont,
Illinois, also at Zany's.
Oh, and Mother's Day,
we're doing our annual Douglass movies taping
at Comedy Works in
Denver, Colorado.
I'm so nervous about this part.
For all my dates and deets, go to DouglovesMovies.com.
That's DouglovesMovies.com!
Yeah!
Come on!
Come on!
Shh!
You did it! Shh! You did it!
That was, you know, built up by audience members
and the weird things that they would add to it over the years.
And so I appreciate that everybody, or a lot of you,
knew what was going on there.
Shall we get the guests out here?
Oh, my goodness goodness what a lineup four of my favorites three are definitely here one might be in traffic
Give it up everybody for Justin long Arden marine big J. Oakerson and Jeff Tate.
They're already chanting Tate.
They're not chanting long because
he's not here yet.
But we're not going to dwell
on that. In fact, they're popping champagne
over at the bar and we're having a lovely time at that in fact they're popping champagne over at the bar
and we're having a lovely time here at the avalon formerly the palace i remember when
this movie was featured in the film against all odds starring jeff bridges i don't remember that
you're looking at me like you already have to answer questions we're not at that part of the
show yet this is where we meet all the guests individually and alphabetically
and give them a nice round of applause.
Starting with, directly to my left, Arden Marie!
Hi, everybody!
Hi, Doug.
Hi.
How you doing?
I'm doing pretty good.
This is really nice to be here in this big, beautiful space.
It's so pretty here. It's a beautiful space. It's so pretty here.
It's a beautiful room.
It's ornate.
It's very ornate.
That's what I would say about it.
I would say it's the champion of being ornate.
Okay.
Don't get Marnie started about being a champion because apparently...
We're all becoming champions.
We're all becoming champions.
Yeah, coming out of the pandemic.
If you're upright and you have pants on
And you're in public, you're a fucking champion
Look at all the champions in this room
Holy shit
Those are all champions, right?
A bunch of gold medalists out there
Oh, speak to the champion
Champion
That's right, sit on the
There's a hat end and a no hat end
And Justin knows his
place sorry everyone no that's okay you're talking about champions I was
waiting for the appropriate time to go you walked in cuz you heard the word
champion yes and that's what I thought that's really I've been here the whole
time that's the way to do it.
Get your own separate entrance.
But we'll talk to you in a second.
First, we've got to finish saying hello to Arden Marine.
All right.
Yeah, that's all right.
She has what happening in her life right now?
Now that The Bachelor, Bachelorette,te that series that world is shut down for another
month or so i know i even work wise or just as a human being well you know what are you doing to
fill the time because i know you spend hours watching that talking about it that's how i
spent eight months of my years hiding in my house handwriting episodes of the bachelor i just did a
comedy horror movie in mass, which was really fun.
And I got murdered in it, which was exciting.
Okay, with the spoilers.
Spoiler alert, I died.
What's the movie called?
It's called Onyx.
And I get stabbed in the chest.
Detailed spoiler alert.
I got stabbed in the chest.
Where in Massachusetts?
It was in Lenox.
Oh, beautiful.
In the Berkshires.
It was beautiful.
And I got to stay in like a haunted jazz cafe, which was exciting.
I wish we had time to talk about that.
You would love it.
But, you know, maybe you can come on Doug Love's haunted jazz cafes.
Podcasting is getting so niche.'s crazy i love that i wanted
to congratulate you on that thank you so much you know i just start a new podcast every day because
it's easy to do yeah why not just have all the podcasts uh but the gentleman sitting to arden's
left is uh it's a rare treat getting to do the show with him here in Los Angeles
because he's a New York guy.
Give it up everybody for Big Jay Oakerson.
Thank God they cheered.
I felt it was starting to look like I was a homeless guy
who wandered into the show.
I don't have any movies
or anything coming out.
I don't even know what ornate means.
Nobody does.
It's not a real world.
All right.
So I just respond to the questions that come from the audience as I hear them.
And that's what I heard.
But thank you for being here.
Are you doing some Netflix is a joke
stuff you're part of other things
in the festival yeah one more show
after this is tonight I'm doing my
storytelling show at the improv
alright what's everybody doing tonight
can you go to that
oh there you go that guy's already committed
to being there this is exciting
it's sold out
oh shit did you already have
a ticket, dude? Oh, he's already got
a ticket. Nice. Yeah, he's part
of the solution, not the problem.
Yeah, everyone has to have their
own Spider-Man's friend.
I wish everybody could see that guy.
Yeah, if everybody could see him,
that would have really landed.
That would have been good.
Also joining us today and you know beat that crazy ass Hollywood traffic because Hollywood Boulevard shut down for the premiere of
Doctor Strange on Tuesday night yeah they're gonna build something strange in
the middle of Hollywood Boulevard I I guess. It's Justin Long, everybody!
Sorry again about being late.
Do you remember the name of the place, the haunted... Because I live not far from there.
It's called...
It's not the gate...
It's not open anymore, right?
No, it's called...
It's not even there.
It's called the Gateway.
Oh, never mind.
Okay, sorry.
It was not a gateway to a better conversation.
It was the Gateway to Hell. Sorry. The gateway to hell. Okay, sorry. It was not a gateway to a better conversation.
It was the gateway to hell.
Sorry.
I always like to say there's no such thing as a gateway,
but that's about another subject.
Justin.
Doug.
What are you doing in L.A., man?
I can't stay away from you.
I saw you recently.
I'm sure everyone in here has seen the last
Blockbuster. Oh yeah, the film
documentary about the last Blockbuster
on Earth. It's so good. It's such a good
and you're hilarious in it. Oh, thank you.
And you got to go there and I had so many questions
about how, was it
sad being there? Was it
exciting? Reliving childhood?
Doug loves his trip to Blockbusters,
another show I'm doing.
I'll wait for it.
We can really get into it.
We can talk after.
It was just exciting to be in a Blockbuster.
Blockbuster wasn't even my thing
when renting videos was a thing.
I went to this more mom and pop place
that Blockbuster was trying to put out a business.
But still the
nostalgia of walking up and down an aisle with all the titles just laid out like that there's one
left it's exciting it's yeah yeah it's in bend oregon which is also just a beautiful city so
it's just a one two to to visit there because you get you know go to a cool place get really high
go into a blockbuster and fucking forget what year it is. Did you glaze
over that you went to the mom
and pop shop because
they have a porno section?
More likely?
That wasn't why I went there, but it was
fun going back and forth
with that little curtain.
Oh, the one I grew up in.
Mine had saloon doors you could
bust open like a cowboy. Oh, yeah. With your dick. Oh, the one I grew up in. Mine had saloon doors you could bust open like a cowboy.
Oh, yeah.
With your dick.
Oh, what a day that was.
Yeah, it was like the, you know, the pantsless chaps.
Is that what they call them?
In the studded boots, kicking that saloon door down and saying,
Where's the porn?
Yeah.
Yee-haw!
Daddy's horny! Yeah. No, it tends to be like the quietest part of
the store I mean it's all very quiet in there it's very library like inside a
video store but you have to have a face on you're like what is this do people do
this even that's crazy yeah what's what's back here is this where the kids
yeah I'm looking for the bathroom oh it, it's not here. What is here?
My brother did that.
There's a Woody Allen movie where he does that, where he goes
and buys a bunch of, he's trying to buy a
porn, remember that? It's played against.
And he buys like Time and all of
these other ones. He's like, yeah, I guess I'll get
this one and get
a Newsweek and see what's going on.
And he's like, yeah, maybe this one.
So he grabs the porno and at the end
they do a price check on it.
Sorry, price check on orgasm?
This gentleman's trying to buy an orgasm.
Very funny scene.
Yeah, he's so embarrassed when that happens.
Yeah, those were the days.
Yeah.
But thank you for being here, Justin.
Sorry I brought up Woody Allen.
That's all right.
You were mentioned in the last episode of the show
because Martha Kelly is a huge
Alvin and the Chipmunks fan.
And she's not, it's not a joke.
She loves the Alvin and the Chipmunks.
I'll tell you who else does, not to brag,
to chipmunk brag, Lil Nas X.
And do you know how I know this?
Because two Sundays ago, I was having, we had a little barbecue.
My girlfriend and I threw a thing, and we had the family over.
And so I was doing busy with family stuff.
And I got a call from a Miami area code.
Hi, this is, and I'm Lil Nas X's manager.
It's kind of frenzied, a little stressed out.
And I knew it wasn't a joke for some reason.
I looked, even though I didn't know the number,
and they said, yes, Lil Nas X.
And I just started laughing.
It was a crazy call to get.
And apparently, he's a huge Alvin and the Chipmunks fan,
and it was his birthday that day.
And he had tweeted out that he wants a big...
He said, if my, something like,
don't quote me, don't,
if it was like, if my representatives don't get me
an Alvin and the Chipmunks themed birthday today,
I'll be very sad.
He said this, and so they were,
that's all the information they had,
these refs, from a tweet, I think.
And so the manager was kind of like,
you know, running around trying to figure out
how to accomplish this.
And so she said, well, can you do something?
Like, I said, well, I don't know what, you know, I can't.
It'd be weird to make, I wouldn't make an appearance.
I wouldn't know what to do.
And I said, also those, that was done with a,
you know, my, it's not my voice.
They digitized it.
And she said, well, you know, anything you can do,
whatever she seemed.
And so I made a video. I kind of, I put,. They digitized it. And she said, well, you know, anything you can do, whatever. She seemed, and so I made a video.
I kind of, I put, I really thought about it.
And I thought, well, I should do something.
And I felt kind of flattered that this, like, millennial star, you know,
wanted, somehow wanted something I did.
And so I made a little video.
Hi, little, this is little Justin Long, you know, whatever.
And then I found an app that pitches your voice up like a chipmunk
and so I recorded I sing him happy birthday sing the whole song happy
birthday little knows that you know and yeah I did what my girlfriend did when
she got into it she was like let's do it so I'll be one of the chipettes, you know. And I never heard back. Wow.
That's power. That's power.
Power. That's not Lil Power. Why didn't he mention you when he was accepting those Grammys?
What the fuck? Yeah, I did a whole thing.
I'm really desperate. What do people say?
Thirsty. I was thirsty for Lil Nas X.
Gays. They're just like us, huh?
Yeah. Was that in reference to me?
Because, yes, I'm not
insulted, if that is the case.
Maybe he preferred the one he got from Neil Patrick Harris.
Was he ever in one of those?
No, I don't quite get the...
Oh, he was in...
What was he in?
He was in something with...
Oh, I'm sure.
Was he in Hop?
Was he in the one with the bunny rabbit?
No, but my brother was.
He was in Garfield, maybe?
People should know this.
Smurfs.
Smurfs, that's it.
Yeah.
He was in the Smurfs.
I'm sorry I did.
I confused those films.
They're both okay with that, I'm sure.
Well, sorry, Jeff Tate.
We're out of time.
You know, the getting to know you part of the show
isn't really that important in the long run.
Like, everybody loves you already anyway.
They were chanting your name earlier.
Tate, Tate, Tate, Tate, Tate.
It's very easy to get a Tate going.
Yeah, they're not saying Tate.
Wink.
I'm going to wink in case people are listening.
Just going somewhere and chanting hate would be so weird.
Could you be more specific?
Was that an insult when you were a kid, taint?
Would they say Jeff taint?
I don't think that was a word.
No one said that word.
It didn't mean anything until like 2005.
Yeah, I know.
It's true.
Taint really came on strong for some reason.
I don't know why.
I remember the first time I heard it it I was so excited just it's
such a funny word like hey is so great the word actually yeah boy explained
taint your ass taint your balls yeah the etymology of it yeah that was my genius
yeah my mom was a teacher was a middle school teacher for many years and she'd
come home and she
that was one of the words she'd think. She goes, I know
the kids are saying a bad word but I don't know
what it is because I've never heard it.
And so that was one of them. And one day she
came home and she said, they've been saying this word and we'd say
well, what was the word? And she goes, I don't remember.
It was like quiche.
Oh, yeah. It sounded like quiche.
And we thought, oh boy.
Real men don't eat quiche.
Also a great word.
Yeah.
Jeff.
Hello.
You can't use quiche to start off a wordle, though,
because it's six letters.
How you doing, buddy?
I'm good. I'm doing all right.
You were counting up the letters in quiche, weren't you?
I was.
I mean, I can't believe Arden is who
came up with tank just said you just remember the first time she heard it I
couldn't it was the skies opened it was a heavenly beautiful day the boy trying
to impress you with his knowledge yeah I couldn't believe I'd never heard it before. How old were you?
When was this? I think I was like
13. Oh, that's
understandable. That's around the time. This is still
part of Tate's intro. That's insane.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Tate has maybe a gay icon called you
on the phone asking for a favor?
No. No.
No.
Never.
No matter how many times I tweet about it,
no gay icons ever want happy birthday sung by me.
So sad.
Thank you for being here, Jim.
It's my pleasure.
Thanks for having me.
That was a brag.
Was my story a brag?
It's a brag, technically.
Oh, I guess so.
But, you know, also people seem like pretty relaxed about it.
Like, I don't think this is like the little Nas X crowd necessarily.
But they all sort of appreciated it.
Like, yeah, that does seem weird
that he would be a fan of Alvin and the Chipmunks.
Strange, right?
Someone would call you in a panic trying to get you
to do that.
You'd never hear from him again. You should at least call
that assistant and go, nothing.
I thought, was that
desperate if I check in and say, so how'd it turn out?
Yeah, I don't think it's desperate.
I definitely wouldn't have.
It's how the story ends.
Because you might find out he hated it.
It's an even better story.
He was a little disappointed.
You're like, oh, my phone sometimes screws up.
I don't know, does that go through?
He got the video and was like,
oh man, I was thinking of Smurfs.
Someone's a little drunk too. Someone's a Lil Jon too.
Someone's a Lil Jon.
I want to make sure you got yours.
Before we get into
playing some games today, I've
devised some fun games for everybody to
play and somebody's going to win that
box over there, which now is starting
to look like we should evacuate the
room because who put that there?
What's that box doing over there? But we'll start'll start with you Arden because you're taking a big sip
right now they're refreshed and ready to go I'm ready I like everybody to
recommend a movie so could you please recommend one movie that you think
people should check out okay I will recommend that because I I
got nervous because I remember that you often ask what the last movie was right
that question proved to be too hard for people well I'm going to then have one
in the same be the last movie that I saw I would also recommend works out
perfectly it does it's a win I would I saw that movie, The Worst Person in the World.
It was nominated for an Oscar.
It was like a far movie.
It was really good.
It was sort of like this woman like sleep.
Did you watch it?
Did you like it?
Yeah, but I also couldn't describe it.
Yeah, I don't know how to describe it.
She's not that bad.
She's not so bad she's not the
worst in the world no no I know way worse maybe the worst like in her County or something but
it was crazy I've worked with way worse he's the worst on her block no not really but I feel like
some nuances nuances were lost on me
because you spend the whole time reading the subtitles.
Yeah, I got tired.
It's exhausting.
I was in the Haunted Jazz Cafe,
so luckily I had a ghost as company.
It read it out loud to me.
That's a good recommendation, though,
because if people haven't checked it out,
they might like it.
It was very popular, like film festivals and stuff They might like it. It was very popular, like
film festivals and stuff. I liked it.
It was fancier than I would normally... I normally like
a Fast and Furious.
Stretching up is like real highbrow
for me, so it was fun.
It doesn't feel like it's going to be a crowd pleaser
and then it sort of is. Yeah.
Alright. I don't mean to be bougie.
I would recommend every Mission Impossible ever.
I think Tom Cruise is an incredible,
I think he's the best action hero
because he's insane
and he actually will jump out of an airplane.
Like, do yourself a favor
and re-watch every Mission Impossible ever.
I think that's a fucking recommendation.
If I had a gavel, I'd use it right now.
Next up.
It's an over defense.
It was fine.
It was so fun.
A lot of people are sending us to Tokyo Drift of art films.
What do you got, Jay?
Can you recommend?
It doesn't have to be a new movie, right?
It could be from whenever.
Just something you think people like it.
They're not going to be mad if they watch it.
I always tell people to watch Out of the Furnace.
I think that's the best movies I've ever seen with Christian Bale.
Yeah, it's intense.
Very intense.
Yeah.
Do I explain what it's about?
I want to feel like it's got Sam Shepard in that.
Yes.
Maybe.
Those are two intense guys.
Yeah.
And it's just they're fucking working in a steel mine.
So there's a lot of-
Yeah, Casey Affleck and uh intense
guys and woody harrelson out of the furnace yeah yeah that's a sleeper like i think when people
watch it they really like it but you know it didn't get much attention when it came out yeah
it really did but i think it's one of the best movies i've ever seen all right but it's got
everything it's like jersey mountain people and someone coming home from war. Out of the furnace sounds like
it's about a gay guy coming out of the closet
but he's pretty mad that he had to wait so long.
So he's just a steel worker.
Fucking furnace. It's nowhere near
as fun as that.
Well thank you for that Big J.
Little J, what do you got for us?
I recently watched Little J
just in the name of the Father. I hadn't seen it Big J, Little J, what do you got for us? I recently watched Little J,
just in the name of the father.
I hadn't seen it in years since it came out. In the name of the father.
I know, another intense one, I guess,
but you got me thinking.
Yeah.
It was so good.
Like Pete Postlethwaite.
Pete Postlethwaite and Daniel Day-Lewis.
It's true story.
It's amazing.
Safemen, too.
I've re-watched Safemen.
Wait, are you changing your answer already?
Oh, we can only do one?
Yeah, you just got to record one movie.
Sam, I'll do Safe Men.
And then you go on the record and it goes to the
Hall of Congress.
Who was in Safe Men?
It's such a great movie. John Hamburg wrote it,
directed it, Sam Rockwell, Steve Martin.
Put Mark Ruffalo's in it.
That's a great movie.
Paul Giamatti, little big fat.
Maybe that's what got me thinking about it.
You guys
will love it. Okay, but your official
answer is In the Name of the Father.
Sure.
I'll switch it to Safe Men
if you want.
So long In the Name of the
Father. Good luck in the name of the Father.
Good luck in the future.
We're disregarding you now.
I like to talk to the titles as I write them down.
Jeff, what do you got?
I want to say, I was going to say Safeman.
No way.
Really?
Take mine.
That's not true.
So I just recommend In the Name of the Father.
What's it about?
There's a dad, and I think the guy's trying to get a loan co-signed,
so he needs his father to sign it for him. His father works at the bank.
Yeah.
And, you know know it just really
it's really touching you root for him you're like this guy needs a place to live it just doesn't
have very good credit yet he's starting out he helped him get the job at the bank yeah yeah
who started that one who played the guy um let's see i think it was steve zahn and sam rockwell
Um, let's see.
I think it was Steve's on and Sam Rockwell, Paul Giamatti's in it. Uh, Mark Ruffalo, like you said, um, uh, Michael Lerner.
Michael Lerner wasn't.
All right.
Yeah.
It's an excellent movie.
In the name of the father, you guys, the guy's only got one foot that works.
Um.
He's only got one that works works. He's only got one that works?
Yeah, just his left one.
What else is that movie about?
There's a couple of subplots.
There's a bunch of chipmunks that sing.
This movie's fucking bananas, you guys.
I think it's foreign.
It might be from Europe.
It's an excellent movie.
In the Name of the Father, full stop.
Watch In the Name of the Father on LSD.
That's what's going to happen, I think.
What's your actual pick?
Do I really want to?
The Unbearable Weight of Massive Tens.
Yay!
Love Nicolas Cage.
It's such a hilarious movie.
So much fun.
And, you know,
just doing okay at the box office, I guess.
If you get a chance
to see it in a theater,
I recommend you do that.
Yeah. For all you guys that didn't get tickets to jay show
later go to see the in the name or what was it unbearable weight of massive talent
go see that yeah no nobody i think that's like a real uh trouble at the box office is remembering
that that title and in the ads now they're even calling it massive talent i think they want people
to just start saying that
because the person inside the movie
theater should be able to narrow it down
if you just say massive talent.
There's probably maybe only one other
word with the word, you know,
movie with the word massive.
And it's behind the curtain.
The talented Mr. Ripley might be playing in another theater.
There could be some confusion there.
All right, so we've got four recommendations.
And if anybody checks them out, be sure to reach out to me on Doug Lowe's Movies on Twitter.
And let me know how that worked out for you.
I think these are good.
These are strong recommendations. That's when the voice goes up like that. It for you. I think these are good. These are strong recommendations.
That's when the voice goes up like that.
It means you're not telling the truth.
There's some pretty good movies here.
All right.
Thanks for your recommendations.
We're going to go to our first commercial break.
We'll be right back.
That's that.
We're back!
So during the break, we chatted with the audience and picked some name tags.
Thank you, everybody who brought something.
Arden's playing for Pete the Heat.
Big Jay's playing for Jason Makes a Porno with his wife.
Jeff is playing for Bill and Ted's
Al excellent adventure despite how terrible that is and who do I leave out
Justin's playing for kyalixi quest for obvious reasons I don't know
they're obvious. You ready for
the first game? Yeah!
Arden gets so excited.
Oh my god. Yeah.
And then we start playing.
And then
it gets really exciting.
We just mentioned
one of my favorite films
of this year, perhaps my favorite film this year,
The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent.
And I've just been kind of obsessed
with Nicolas Cage of late,
and so it's kind of the perfect movie to come along
that celebrates Nicolas Cage.
But I still enjoy playing a game I call
Who Has My Pig?
Nicolas Cage made a brilliant movie called pig where he plays a man who's just looking for his pig his pig is gone
he's trying to find it in this game I'm going to be doing the part of Nicholas
Cage in the film pig and I'm going to ask various famous people if they have my
pig each round is a different famous person first person on stage who guesses
who Nicolas Cage is accusing of having his big wins a point and all the guests
as often as you like question from art Marine. Are these people that were in the movie
or have you just scripted fictional people?
You have to know who else was in the movie, pig.
No.
It's just...
Anybody.
Anybody famous could have a pig.
It's just probably all actors
that might have some sort of connection to one another.
Love it.
Yeah, that develops as the game goes along. Any other
questions, gentlemen?
Nope.
Get ready. See,
Jeff and
Big J are the real competitive ones. Ooh,
Arden's competitive too now. But
Justin keeps the mic away
from his face. Oh, no, well.
In a way that says, I don't think
I'm going to win this. Yes. Oh, no, well. In a way that says, I don't think I'm going to win this. Yes.
Oh, really thin slice.
But why give yourself that extra handicap?
You just got to be on it and ready.
Yeah, yeah. Okay.
Shit comes at you
fast.
Also, my impression's not good.
Where is it?
Okay.
Okay.
Do you have my pig?
I can't believe what you've done to Johnny Dent.
I never heard.
First,
you give him scissors for hands.
Tim Burton.
Tim Burton.
Tim Burton. Tim Burton. Tim Burton.
That is correct.
Okay, good.
What did you say?
I said, I did.
I get so excited.
It's so weird.
All right.
Congratulations, Justin got it first.
And then he was going to go on to say,
you give him scissors for hands,
and then you turn him into a demon barber
who has hands for hands.
All right, you get how this is going to go.
Congratulations, Justin.
So weird.
I drove behind a Tesla today,
and it said that I love vanity plates and trying to figure out who would get a plate like that.
And it said, bat pack, bat, like the animal bat and then P-A-K.
And I thought for a second, well, that might be, that could be Tim Burton.
Bat pack, somebody who is known for, I don't know, I tried to drive by them.
They look like an actor.
They had kind of like an aging actor face.
Bat Pack.
A fancy Tesla.
I don't know.
Anyway.
We can cut this out, right?
We can cut that.
That's a little...
Bat Pack.
Look at it.
Look for it.
It's a blue Tesla.
It says Bat Pack.
That's it.
No, you're right.
Okay, here we go.
Round two.
That's right.
Will you help me find my pig?
Sounds like Tim Burton.
It's just Justin.
Yes.
Tim Burton's like, he's really in trouble with his pig.
Will you help me find my pig?
If I found you tied to a radiator by Sam Jackson,
I would set you free.
Christina Ricci.
Any day of the week but Wednesday.
Yes, that is correct.
It's Christina Ricci.
Oh, my God.
It's like she was here.
You were great in yellow jackets.
I wonder, was he going to say,
I don't know if he's going to say that to her.
Oh, my God, so good.
Yeah.
How did she get on the stage?
Yeah, that was the whole clue.
We got through all of it.
Misty?
And didn't mention yellow jackets.
Douglas movies, Arden.
Sorry.
That's why, but probably not.
There might be TV clues later.
What else was she going to say?
We'll see.
But Justin is just...
He's running right with this so much I gave him points
in the next game already on accident.
I didn't get that.
It was Jay. Oh, Jay got that one?
That was Jay. That's right. Pete's honest.
Pete's honest.
Wow. Thanks for nothing, Pete.
What if I insisted it was me?
What if I was like, I'm pretty sure that was me.
Pete's honest. That would have been really weird I'm pretty sure that was me He's honest
That would have been really weird
It's good that you're all so honest
I'm just not, you know, I'm not a lip reader
And also I wasn't looking
Alright
Concentrate, Doug
I'm too busy getting into the Nicolas Cage thing
Concentrate
So you all have to be honest about who answered first
Alright, so Justin has one, Big J has one,
and here's round three.
Do you have my pig?
Okay.
What? I'm establishing.
I can't just say him all the time.
The last one he asked if he would help me find my pig.
I could listen to you.
Can you help me find my pig?
It's just somebody who's lost their pig.
I could hear you do that all day and never tire of that.
Do you have my pig, Arden?
No.
Okay, I'm going to talk to somebody else about it.
Do you have my pig?
Did you use my pig to make those meat pies of yours,
or did you use people like your normal recipe?
You seem
strange enough to do it.
Bellatrix.
Everyone should
know who it is by now.
Me?
Wait.
I can never remember her name because she's got
three of them. Helena Bonham Carter?
That is correct.
Helena Bonham Carter? That is correct. Who is it?
Helena Bonham Carter.
That's why she sounds so much like Tim Burton because they live together.
They probably just morph their voices. Yeah, they were together for a second.
Two lovers become one vocally.
All right, Justin does it again.
Kidding.
Clean, sweet.
Justin, your things are great your also loved his recommendation
the Nicolas Cage movie
we'll have to see what's that
no I'm kidding I like I've
stolen everything
I'm responsible for his
recommendation round four
okay
hey
see that one started different Hey.
See, that one started different.
Yeah, it's great.
It starts off with, hey.
I love this vocal quality. He's taking a softer approach on this one.
He's being less accusatory.
He's not as obsessed.
He's trying to learn from his previous interrogations.
Hey, girl.
Hey.
Did you see my pig?
Did you happen to see my pig?
Did you happen to notice my pig when you were singing on top of that piano, miss?
Or should I call you Selena Kyle?
Michelle Pfeiffer.
That is correct.
Justin said that one that time?
Yeah.
Holy shit, it's two to two.
Fabulous Baker Boys?
Yeah, that's the first reference. And then the second one, of course, is Batman Returns.
At the end of that one, I was just going to have Nicholas Cage yell,
Dangerous minds!
For no reason.
Okay.
This is exciting.
Jeff and Arden, sit this one out.
Okay, great. We've got a tiebreaker on our hands
Kyle
this one is just between
Jay and Justin
big Jay versus little Jay
the ultimate showdown
Jay down
I really like to pump up the
excitement levels on this thing
here we go
oh shit we got a let's go Jay somebody talking about the excitement levels on this thing. Here we go.
Oh, shit, we got a... Let's go, Jay.
Which?
What are you talking about?
I need to know.
That's a positive person.
Either Jay.
Do you have my pig, Tim Burton?
Tim Burton.
That is correct.
Congratulations.
Wow.
Well done.
He's a film buff.
The listeners know that the last one,
every time I just blurt out a name like that to see what'll happen,
because everybody, sometimes they don't answer at all, because they really don't know why I would just say the name like that.
It's low-hanging fruit.
Yeah, it's crazy, but Jay figured it out calmly.
Just looked at me and said, Tim Burton.
It was magical.
That means you won our first game.
You know what that means?
You get to go first in our next game.
Hell yeah.
Very exciting prize.
Also, did you say, I normally tell
everybody not to bring anything for the prize bag anymore
because I always just bring a bunch of stuff
and consolidate
the moment, but did you say
you brought something? I did.
Because I forgot to tell you not to bring something.
I brought a pair of game-worn
knuckle gloves.
Yeah, see, I knew at least one
weirdo would be excited about it.
Are you even in the running, the
person who's excited about it? Yeah. It's the guy
whose wife he's gonna bang. Okay.
He's gonna wear them.
Oh my god, yeah.
Wow.
Finally, some knuckle gloves in the bedroom. He's going to wear them. Oh my god. Yeah. Wow. Finally some
used knuckle gloves
in the bedroom.
Spice things up
a little bit.
Yeah.
They make their sweet porn.
Yeah.
So make sure
that you get those
to the winner today.
I believe you would
wear them.
You would.
Oh yeah.
Agreed.
He's excited about it.
Agreed.
They're going to be his sleep knuckle gloves
everybody should have it's time to play whose tagline is it anyway
this is hard people love this game
i say the tagline from a motion picture and you just have to guess what movie it's from.
It's very high difficulty level on this one because a lot of movies with a lot of very generic taglines.
You just have to guess what you think would apply and maybe get it right.
There's always a theme involved at some
point that people might figure out and we're gonna start with Jay and then
we'll go to Justin Jeff and then Arden so Arden you may get to hear three wrong
guesses before it gets to you. Oh, yes.
You know, could be a good position.
I guessed Johnny Depp during this.
I did catch that when that happened.
I felt like I was going to get deducted, so I need a little later.
No, I'm pretty sure there's no deducting.
Thank you.
You know, I'm just trying to hold up the champion in everyone.
Thank you.
We're all doing our best.
Yes.
So this is for Jay and Jay alone.
One guess.
What movie do you think has the tagline,
Battle Royale?
Just two words.
Battle Royale.
No cheese.
Is it the film Battle Royale?
I've done weirder things in these games for a laugh,
but that is incorrect.
But that was, you know, terrific guess,
especially after what you just went through.
The man comes to play. You say you've never lost
on this show. I don't think so.
That's quite a record.
I usually
This crowd's pretty stoked on it.
Yeah. No, people are losing their
minds. Like, these guys never won?
I thought Sam Levine never loses.
Well, Sam's been on a lot more shows.
Jay hasn't been on it a lot of times,
but the five or six times he has,
he says he's been the victor every time,
and I have no reason not to believe it.
So we're on to Justin.
Battle Royale. Battle Royale. so we're back we're on to Justin battle royale battle royale I guess maybe King Kong a King Kong movie King Kong versus somebody mm-hmm yeah versus no might as
well pick somebody yeah Godzilla okay King Kong versus Godzilla? Yeah Incorrect I mean, who else would King Kong fight?
I was thinking Mothra
Did you ever see King Kong versus Joe Pesci?
Yeah
King Kong versus
My left foot
I bet King Kong wins that one.
Rolling Stone said it was a battle royale.
It's a good foot, but I don't think you can take King Kong with one foot.
That's true.
Even if both of us.
Okay, Jeff, what do you think has the tagline battle royale?
I'm going to guess face off.
Great guess.
Okay.
I guess that's sort of
a battle royale.
Give me my face back.
Yeah.
I'm looking for my face.
Where's my face?
Where's my face?
Have you seen my face?
Excuse me.
Did you take it?
I think you took it at one point.
Have you seen my face?
I got this other face.
I'd rather have, Nicholas, which face, just aesthetically, which face would you rather have?
Travolta's, or if you had to choose one of those faces.
What year?
You got a picture with two faces?
It's a good question.
What year?
It's a good question.
Now, we're doing it this evening.
I think, Nicholas. Which one of their current faces would you rather have? That year.'re doing it this evening. I think...
Which one of their current faces would you rather have?
That year.
The year it came out.
Whatever year that was.
It's not magic.
We can't go back in time.
You get one of their faces tonight.
Okay.
Oh, my God.
I have to bring one of their faces tonight.
Okay.
One of their faces tonight.
Tonight.
One of their faces tonight.
Who do you pick?
Tonight, right now, I'd have to go...
Those guys have experienced every hairline imaginable.
Including each other's.
They should have just called it wig switch
and not fucked around with the special effects so much.
Oh, the hair people on that movie must have been like,
wait, what?
I wish it was called wig switch.
I'd have to go Nicolas Cage's face tonight.
Yeah, that's correct.
Ari can get one point.
I'm going to look great. Jay, what face would you like to have? It's going to be That's correct, Art. You get one point. I'm going to look great.
Jay, what face would you like to have?
It's going to be a very successful pilot season.
Okay, Art, in Battle Royale.
All right, is it War of the Roses?
No, but that is a Battle Royale.
Yeah.
No, Battle Royale, strangely enough,
was the tagline for a motion picture
called Accepted starring Justin long it's so funny Doug I was like because I've never taken an edible
before one of these and I swear to you I thought I almost said when Jeff said
yeah who else I was like yeah what an idiotic swear to you, I thought, I almost said when Jeff said, yeah, who else? I was like, yeah, what an idiotic thing to say.
I should not, I almost said it out loud.
I shouldn't have taken this edible.
And now I feel the need to reveal that I am stoned.
And I feel so dumb.
Battle Royale.
It did sound vaguely familiar.
Were you like, are you on the poster?
Are you like number one on the poster?
Yes, I'm like, oh, what am I doing?
How am I going to start this college?
Battle Royale!
Well, because it's a line one of the characters...
And you say it's a Battle Royale.
I don't say it, but one of the characters
says it, this Adam Hirschman's character
says Battle Royale.
And I should have known that.
There you go.
All right.
Well, no one got that one,
but maybe somebody will get this next one
We go in the same order
Start with Jay again
And what movie Jay do you think
Has the tagline
Flooding into cinemas soon
Flooding into cinemas soon
Wow Waterworld Cinemas. Soon.
Wow.
Waterworld?
Terrific guess.
Incorrect.
A fan is dismayed.
Flooding.
Win or lose, I'll bang your wife.
Flood.
Why isn't that a Fox show yet?
Oh my God.
Oh, I would love that.
I would watch that.
I would get cable to DVR it.
Flooding.
It's obviously an erotic picture.
Flooding.
I would say, what was that Noah I would say what was that Noah's Ark
what was that Noah's Ark movie
Noah?
no
I guess I guess Noah
okay that's incorrect Jeff
Hard Rain
oh terrific guess
if I was giving points for guesses,
you'd get a point, but no.
Arden, I think Arden knows it.
I do.
What is it, Arden?
It's Evan Almighty.
Starring Arden Marie!
She's in it!
She knows the wrong tagline!
Hey, girl!
Do I get to keep my face?
No one was going to make you.
I thought you wanted to switch.
I would rather be...
For a day.
I'd be so psyched
to have Nicolas Cage's face on mine
for a day.
What would you do?
What's the first stop?
I'd go right to the Grove.
Just try to get noticed?
I'd go to the American Girl doll store
and I'd take photos
with like a little
like pioneer doll.
That's the first thing
I would do.
I would probably go up
to people and ask
if they wanted a photo.
Yeah.
And then, yeah.
Cable car
would be a good place to go.
Oh, yeah.
I got a fun little
cable car at the Grove.
Okay, so
that means Arden
has a point
but there's still points to be made.
Thank God.
Thank you.
Thanks, P.
I needed that.
Up first again is Jay.
That's you.
I feel good.
What movie has the tagline
inspired by a true story?
It's a movie?
Yeah.
It's a feature-length film
that was inspired by a true story, apparently.
This gentleman is suggesting Lady and the Tramp.
I'm calling out to security.
I'm going with the theme of what I'm calling out to security. I'm going with
the theme of what I think to be
happening here.
Is it a small film
called
From Other Worlds
featuring
Big Jay Oakerson?
No.
Oh, I thought it was something
we were all in at one point.
I wish it was.
But no, unfortunately, that's not it.
Justin Long?
Is it...
I have one of two.
War Dogs?
Fuck.
Can I guess again?
Wait, what'd you call it?
War dogs
Oh war dogs
No
Oh you said warthogs
That was a terrifying true story
No war dogs is incorrect
I know it
Jeff knows it here we go I fucking know it. Jeff knows it. Here we go.
I fucking know it. It's Live Free or Die Hard.
Justin was in it. That shit was true.
I fucking saw it.
I watched the movie
and I was like, I remember this.
It was on the news.
You guys don't remember?
A guy drove a cop car into a helicopter.
That shit was on the news.
That's gotta be
the right answer. I'm sure it inspired some things.
Yeah, let's just move on. I got
a point. Tusk was based on a true
story, right? Tusk was based
on a true thing.
True story of a walrus
man.
I think Paul McCartney
was the walrus man.
Arden? I, Tanya.
Oh.
Certainly inspired
by a true story. They probably went
with based on, or
I don't know what they said.
Because it felt like they made some shit up
in that movie.
I felt like somebody here could have been in it.
If that's wrong, I know it's no points,
but I'd love to take one more guess.
I think you're going to get it right now
in the second guess.
What is it?
Hustlers.
It's Hustlers starring Big J. O. Krasick.
Oh, there he is.
I forgot I was in Hustlers.
I've only done two movies.
25 years.
What did you play?
The strip club DJ
What was the song?
The movie starts with the song Control
And then it ends I think again with Control
And I just say strip club DJ stuff
Did you listen to strip club DJs?
No, but I've played one twice now
Which is odd
Which tells me I
have a look.
No kidding.
Just wait until you get tripled his face tonight, though.
On Louis, I played a strip
club DJ on a TV show,
and then, yeah. And then those
casting people called me and said, do you want to play
a strip club DJ again?
And I'm like, yeah, I would.
I hung out. I'm comfortable in that booth over there. I made it awkward yeah, I would. I hung out.
I'm comfortable in that booth over there.
I made it awkward with J-Lo. I saw Constance Wu's
butthole when I left.
You what with J-Lo? What'd you say?
I said, I made it awkward with J-Lo.
I saw Constance Wu's butthole
and then I left.
Ooh.
What a busy day.
That's a big day.
I don't think anyone's ever said that sentence.
Probably.
Oh, if you were on set that day, you did.
I worked with her.
She has a bunny rabbit.
Who?
Oh, I thought you were going to say she has a butthole.
She has a butthole?
She's got a butthole.
If I don't work with her, I can confirm it.
She told me she didn't have a butthole.
What a liar. What a weird thing to lie about. I ask everybody I go on set with. I can confirm it. She told me she didn't have a butthole.
What a liar.
What a weird thing to lie about.
I ask everybody I go on set with,
I say, do you have a butthole?
And she said, no, I do not.
Haven't you seen me when I put my head in the toilet?
Don't you understand that I'm just taking a shit?
Because I have a butthole sewn up.
All right.
Let's not get into centipede territory here.
Let's do one more round.
Yes.
Where Jay's up first again.
And Arden's on the board.
But Jay, what movie do you think had the tagline,
Nice Pair?
Shit. P-A-I- pear. Shit.
P-A-I-R.
Oh.
All right, good, you try anything.
Nice pears, it's the story of some boring painter
who painted pears.
Who's known for their pears.
The Cezanne biopic.
Yeah, Cezanne's biopic.
Tate, I never heard of it.
Is called Nice Pear. Yeah, no, you ever been in a film? I was in one, but Iate, I never heard of it. It's called Nice Pair.
Yeah.
No, you've never been in a film?
I was in one, but I don't remember the name of it.
Damn it.
I played a bartender.
Oh, what was the movie?
You don't remember the name of it?
You don't know the name of the movie? Really?
It's a real mouthful.
That's what I remember.
It's the unbearable weight of massive talent.
It's as much of a mouthful as that.
It's called In the Name of of massive talent. It's as much of a mouthful as that.
It's called In the Name of the Father.
I was the roommate.
And I didn't get along with the father.
That was my role.
Off screen, we got along great.
But on screen, no.
We did switch buttholes, though.
It was an experimental surgery.
I got his butthole.
He got mine.
Did you keep your own butthole wig, though?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
We had the wig.
Would you rather have John Travolta's butthole or Nicolas Cage's butthole?
If you swapped.
Jay? It's got to be Cage.
You got to go Cage butthole.
It's got to be Cage.
It's Jay's turn to answer.
Sorry.
Nice pair. It's got to be Cage butthole. It's Jay's turn to answer. Sorry. Nice pair.
It's gotta be cage butthole.
Shut up.
I agree.
What?
Is it tusk?
No, but I get it.
Nice pair of tusks.
It's a good guess.
Yeah.
That's pretty good.
Justin's like going through his whole filmography over there.
No, it must be...
Is it gonna be chip wreck it going to be Chip Wreck or Road Chip?
Nice pair.
There wouldn't be innuendo in them.
Nice pair.
Fuck.
Nice pair.
I don't know.
Balls of Fury?
I don't know.
No.
Jeff?
I somehow forgot I was next.
Nice pair.
Nine to five.
Those three women make a great pair.
Arden?
I mean, all I can think of is like an Olsen twins movie.
Oh, like New York Minute?
Yeah, that's all I can think of.
They're a nice pair.
Oh yeah, there's three people.
How rude.
That would be the weirdest campaign.
Just put them on the cover.
Nice pair.
And they're like, 16. And they like 16. what do we do to you
we've made you all so much money it's horrifying uh no so jeff hasn't been in a movie as he pointed out that we know the title of so uh i decided to see if i could run past him, and I succeeded, him not catching that it's for one of his favorite movies,
by my estimation.
Nice Pair is the tagline for the movie, The Nice Guys.
Oh, damn it.
That is one of my favorite movies.
Yeah, yeah.
I was cut out.
You were supposed to have the advantage on that one.
And then for the tiebreaker, Justin,
I did go back to yours with the
future is a no-brainer oh yes exactly but too late to get any points for your
trouble but good job and Arden wins that game Yay! That's shocking! Hee, hee, hee! Woo hoo hoo hoo!
Ooh!
That means you get to go first in our next game, but our next game isn't going to happen without some dumb ass commercials.
So we'll be right back!
We're back!
Yay! We're back! Yeah! Yeah!
Jeff is still here, still giving it the old college try,
but currently we have Arden as our most recent game winner.
That means she gets to go first in our final game of the day the one
that's gonna determine who goes home with that box right there yeah is it
gonna be Pete the Heat is it gonna be Jason makes a porno with his wife is it adventure or Kyle Alexie quest such a clever one yeah it's a good everyone if
anyone wants to see the specifics of what's in the box just go to my
Instagram at you don't know Doug I made a little video and labeled it uh what's in the box yeah exactly from my favorite movie seven and
if you try to say it like they spell it with the seven instead of a v
arden that's right have you ever done that you spell vagina with a seven i do
spell vagina with a seven?
I do. I do.
I teach said-said, and I get fired from every school.
Oh, okay. Well, we both have to visit
HR now. Okay.
This game we're going to play
right now, I'm so excited about it.
I've been playing it every episode
lately because I enjoy it
so much. It's called The Little Search
Engine That Could. Yes.
Pretend you're into it yeah
i typed the word ocean into this search engine on imdb and i wrote down the top eight titles
yes that came up in that search. The most popular movie titles
that have the word ocean in them,
according to IMDB, there's eight of them,
so Ocean's eight, if you will.
You'll take turns guessing.
Yeah.
There's three rounds,
so you'll each get to guess three times.
Love it.
Person with the most points,
because the higher up the correct
answers are on the list the more points you get you get eight points if you
discern the number one movie with oceans in the title one point down to one point
for number eight Arden gets to go first and then go the other direction, switch it around to Jeff, then Jay.
I mean, sorry, Justin.
You're so little.
Oh, thanks, Doug.
I couldn't see you there.
Oh, jeez, sorry about that, Doug.
Wait, you said they made your voice like that
through with a special machine.
Well, you know, sometimes I get inspired.
You say something inspires it inspires me.
So give us, how do you sound like
when you're talking as Alvin?
You have to do everything really slowly
because they speed it up.
Before they put the effect on your tongue, whoa.
So everything has to be said like this.
Bit of bad acting, you just have to be a really bad actor.
And the hardest stuff is to get the timing,
is to do anything sarcastic, like, oh, right, Theodore.
So it's got to be like, oh, right, Theodore.
I'm really exaggerating.
Oh, man.
I know.
Wow.
It's like a David Lynch movie.
People can.
Yes, totally.
People can now, that are listening, can go back and speed that up and hear how Chipmunky is found.
That's interesting.
Yeah, I love it okay so like i said arden gets to go first then jeff then justin then jay and uh it's
really anything can happen in this game it's a weird it's a weird game it's a weird thing to
try to figure out what movies especially you want to go for number one, Arden. Okay, I think the first... What do you think the most popular movie with ocean in the title would be?
Ocean's Eleven.
It was coming right out of the gate with Ocean's Eleven.
Yeah.
And you know what, Arden?
Yeah?
That is number one.
Oh!
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah.
That's why going first is important in this game.
You've got eight points, but anybody can catch up to you.
There's enough points available.
Truth.
For somebody else to do this.
Jeff, what would you think is on the list anywhere,
or hopefully number two?
Oceans 12.
Get those points.
You're going to Oceans 12.
Yes. Is the second most popular on IMDb. get those points. You're going to Oceans 12. Correct, yes.
Is the second most popular on IMDB as we speak.
Some people are clapping, yelling good answer.
And it's an okay answer.
Because Oceans 12 came in at number six.
Oh wow.
Yes.
You're on the board with three points.
Finally.
Finally, Jeff has some points.
Justin?
Frank Ocean?
Would he be on IMDb?
As an individual, I bet you he would rank.
He'd probably rank higher than any of the movies.
Maybe that's too much of a clue.
But anyway, they rank a bunch of stuff on there, but I was just looking for the movie.
Oh, the movies.
Okay, sorry.
Ocean's 8?
This guy was yelling out joke answers earlier earlier but now he's yelling out legit answers
i almost took it so please please stop doing it was almost like wait a minute yeah you can take
it i mean you know we all know about it it wasn't it wasn't that brilliant of an answer
oceans eight i'll guess you're going eight yeah Alright, he's going with Ocean's 8 dude.
He's disregarding your suggestion and that is
at number 2 and worth 7 points.
There you go.
That's how you do it.
Smartly done, Justin.
But that brings us to Jay.
What is he going to do?
Can I say that this is the only game we've played
where there's a severe advantage to going first?
Yeah, it really swung wildly in her direction.
I need it, though.
I need it.
There's an Ocean's 13, yeah?
Yeah!
Yeah, that's what that guy's been yelling.
Maybe it's just some guy walking down the street
just yelling Ocean's 13 all the time.
And now he's in here, so this is really his day to shine.
Because he's normally yelling Ocean's 13.
Down in front of the Chinese.
Now it applies. Yeah, like he's just hoping they's 13. Down in front of the Chinese theater. Now it applies.
Yeah, like he's just hoping they bring it back or something.
I don't know.
Why is he so into it?
Was there an actor who was in Ocean's 13 but not the other ones?
Maybe that's him.
Oh, yeah.
Al Pacino.
Maybe.
Al Pacino's here.
He didn't even get a front row seat.
Hoo-ah!
You don't know.
Ocean's 13!
I hope somebody says it.
That's more Jimmy Durante.
Ocean's 13 is your answer, Jay.
Coming in at number five.
That's worth four points.
Four pointer.
So everybody is in position
to end up getting a higher score than
Arden unless she manages to put some more points on the board right now can
we go to our life line no no lifelines just a all right open sea of motion
picture I did have the word ocean
in the title.
You can make one up.
Dark Ocean!
I mean, that sounds like
it should be a movie.
If there's four more...
If there are four more on the board...
Yeah, well, what's it about?
What's Dark Ocean about?
It's like...
There's this body of water,
and fucking shit goes missing.
It is bad.
And Steve Zahn's there.
He's there and he's hanging out
and it's not good.
And there's a safe
and there's a roommate and a dad.
You're in it.
You guys got along.
Actually, only on screen
but you did not get along off screen.
It was a lot.
Off screen.
Off screen, they could not even be in the same trailer.
It was one of my best performances.
I really hated that fucking prick.
Yeah, you did.
But on screen, we had to be pals, so I really dialed it up.
You really did.
Everybody believed it.
And we did only night shoots in the tank in Mexico.
You couldn't even swim,
but they put the floaties on
and you look like a gorgeous.
That's how good an actor I am.
My character could swim.
So once they yelled action,
I fucking knew how.
It did.
It was like watching Michael Phelps.
It was so, you were like an eel.
Right?
As soon as they yelled cut,
I start flailing and gasping.
It was scary.
I was like frightened for you.
Dark ocean is incorrect.
More people should really check it out.
It was great.
That's my recommendation.
I loved it.
Jeff, I'm glad you weren't playing a murderer.
I'm not going to tell the ending.
I'm going to take a wild swing here
and guess
Ocean's Eleven, the original.
Good answer!
Unfortunately,
that one didn't make it in
the top eight.
Yeah.
That's what she said.
Some guy said... I mean, that's the great thing about the pandemic
the great thing about the pandemic being over
is a guy can now sit in a room full of people
and say that's what she said
and then laugh to himself after the accomplishment
but he looked immediately ashamed
he did
in his defense he looked like he was upset with himself
it looked like he
couldn't believe it flew out and then and
then he tried to catch it but he was still kind of tickled by it and he was ashamed that was pre-pandemic
yeah yeah yeah pre-pandemic awful tickled by you can't take jeff anywhere in 2022.
that jeff not me no this jeff is great we're the same name we're not the same name bro here we go
wait what was your guess Jeff it was dark ocean oh yeah you were great in
that I think they changed the title for the release in America I was so
starstruck when I met you back I didn't
know you'd seen it oh so good do you have something else though no he gets I
really don't the Poseidon adventure I had to really think about that one.
All right.
Design Adventure is incorrect.
Justin?
I'm going to guess that... Is it the deep end of the ocean?
Yeah.
Michelle?
That is number four.
Wow.
Worth a whopping five points.
Big J.
It's like the yelling guy got put further away.
Just by like one seat.
He remains determined.
He is a wild card.
I'm way up here in the balcony now. It sounds like...
I must be heard.
I think there's probably been a movie called Oceans Away.
I think you're right.
I think there probably has been a movie called Oceans Away.
Is that your answer?
By the maker of Dark Ocean.
Yes.
The filmmaker brought you Dark Ocean.
A Blumhouse picture.
Makes you Oceans Away. Ihouse picture. It brings you ocean.
I'm sorry,
that is incorrect.
I was going to say that, or
Pirates of the Caribbean,
blah, blah, blah, ocean, blah, blah.
Ocean, blah, blah.
Pearl, ocean, and the ocean.
Pearl of the ocean, blah, blah, blah,
Pirates of the Caribbean.
I've lost my ocean. blah, blah, blah. Pirates of the Caribbean. I've lost my ocean.
Okay, here's you.
Everybody gets one final chance. Arden,
have you thought of anything else they would have?
It's just called Ocean.
The word Ocean in it? Ocean.
Just plain Ocean? Just Ocean.
Comes in at number eight.
From 2020.
I love that movie.
It was a thriller.
I loved it.
That's what I did all pandemic.
I watched that every day in my house.
You were great in it.
I've never seen more excitement from someone
who didn't actually win.
What?
Yeah, you only got one point for that one.
But I got eight for the first one.
Yeah, that's nine.
Justin's got seven and five, which equals 12.
I hate Justin Long.
I'm right here.
I can hear you.
I know.
I mean, I really like him, but I wanted to win.
Is that the voice you use when you audition for the Chipettes?
I shouldn't have said I hate Justin Long.
That's my own opinion.
Those are the signs.
I don't know why I said that over and over.
I'm so sorry, Justin.
Will you accept my apology?
I behave like a real douche.
I behave like a real taint.
No, I hate myself more.
I promise.
Such a taint tonight.
Oh, such a taint.
No, I'm the taint. No, I'm the taint.
No, I was the taint of the show.
I was the queef
of the show. You were the taint.
Well, okay.
Taint, your turn right now.
We're moving on to Jeff.
Oceanside Boulevard.
Have you seen it?
Kurt Russell and his wife.
There's a guy who breaks in.
They get real scared.
His real wife or someone pretending to be his wife?
It's an actress.
Goldie Hawn is an actress.
Oh, they're also not married, right?
No.
They're living in San Francisco.
They're just lovers.
Illegal lovers.
Illegal.
Illegally practicing the art of making love in the same home.
That's illegal.
Gross.
So gross.
Good guess, Jeff, but no.
Damn, it's probably ninth.
It's probably ninth.
It's a big deal. William Holden's in it? I loved him in that. It's probably ninth. Yeah, it's a big deal.
William Holden's in it.
I loved him in that.
It's a fucking solid film.
Great.
Justin?
I'm going to say Oceanographer, the Jacques Cousteau documentary.
You just winked at me when you did.
I feel like there's a wink.
No, I wish I had now. I wish I had
I've been blamed for a wing
I might as well have done a wing
I thought you were not pleased with your answer
It was a twitch
It was an insecure nervous twitch
Oceanographer Jacques Cousteau the movie
Oceanographer
Oceanographer What about just title. Oceanographer. Oceanographer.
What about just
oceanographer? Oceanographer.
That might be a good way to go. Oceanographer.
Incorrect.
I fall for it every time.
He does it.
Jay, what do you got
for me? Anything? I know
it really worked out poorly for you that
Arden got to go first.
I'm going to go with
Oceans.
I think there was like an IMAX documentary
that was just called Oceans, but
that didn't fit in the
top eight here, unfortunately.
So that means that adjusted long is our winner
everybody got points though i'm proud of everybody it was quite an exciting competition and
congratulations to everybody involved
Let me tell you what happened with the remaining answers
Number seven on the list is something called ocean heaven
Yeah, I don't know but it was
Ocean heaven is like a place where, you know,
maybe that is the same world, the water world, ocean heaven.
That's where all the water world people go when they die.
They get there and they're like,
it's still all water, mother fuck!
Remy Harlan is just at the pearly gates.
After discovering he has, you guys are going to be mad that you laughed at this,
after discovering he has less than five months to live,
a father tries to prepare his autistic son
for life without him,
and you are laughing at him.
You are laughing at that movie.
I'm not kidding.
He's got all the recipes for comedy.
You are.
Starring Chet Lee.
We are.
I have a fish skin.
He didn't drown.
He just went to ocean heaven.
Oh, 7.5.
Yeah.
Wow.
Very funny.
Wow.
Ocean heaven.
Wow.
Now all the listeners think Justin's just been looking up every answer on his phone
But coming in at number three
This one kind of describes itself
It's a documentary called
A Plastic Ocean
Oh
Yeah, kind of a sad note to end on
But those are the ocean movies
And as I said
Justin Long is our winner.
That means.
Thank you, Kyle.
Kyle.
Yeah.
All that effort.
That means that Kyle Lixie Quest wins the box.
Do you want to come get your box?
All those weeks just crafting.
There he comes.
So Kyle.
Look at him go.
So Kyle.
He's tall enough to grab the box right off of there, I think.
There he is.
Look at that.
Look at him go.
Congratulations, Kyle.
There he is.
Kyle, Kyle, Kyle.
He did it.
Justin, before we go, what would you like to plug?
Is there anything where people should look for you?
What are you doing?
Life is Short podcast.
Life is Short with Justin Long.
There's a movie this summer, but it's called Barbarians that I saw and I can't wait for people to see.
It's Fox, 20th Century Fox,
but they're going to change the title probably.
Oh, they're good.
They're good.
Oh, yeah.
I like their work.
They're the ones with the Klieg lights and the drumming.
Oh, I love that opening.
I got so excited.
The Klieg light is very exciting.
It's good.
I don't like when they show a truncated version of it.
No, no.
Play the whole thing.
I want the whole build up.
Same with Universal and the Globe.
Star Wars, the first time you really saw it,
was that the first big 20th?
Well, it might have been.
I thought that was the beginning of Star Wars
until I was like eight years old.
Like just the tape I had,
it was the only time I saw it.
I'm also very dumb.
That movie, wow.
Yeah, yeah.
All right, dummy, what do you want to plug?
August 13th and 14th,
I'm at Union Hall in Brooklyn.
Yes.
I'm making an album, so come to it, please.
That's a great spot.
Yeah, it's fun.
Oh, nice.
Yeah. Thank you, thank you. You have plenty of it, please. That's a great spot. Yeah, it's fun. Oh, nice. Yeah.
Thank you.
Thank you.
You have plenty of time to prepare.
It's in August.
Yeah, you'll probably be back on before then.
I hope so.
Also, check out 20th Century Fox.
They're doing a lot of great work these days.
The movie is coming out in August, so you go to your show.
Oh, yeah.
All right.
Catch a matinee.
Arden Marine, what. Catch a matinee? Art and Marine,
what would you like to promote?
Well, I have my podcast that Doug
is a regular on called
Will You Accept This Rose?
It's a comedy podcast about the Bachelor
franchise. He was our rookie
of the year last year and he killed it.
And then
I have a movie that'll be at the Tribeca
Film Festival. It'll be a bunch of screenings called
Space Oddity and I'm doing a bunch of stand up
here and in Brooklyn
that's all on my Instagram
Yay
Yay Arden
Thanks guys
And Big Jay Oakerson
what do you got to plug?
Check out the Legion of Skanks
available anywhere you get podcasts.
Fuck yeah.
Bonfire, five days a week
on SiriusXM Faction Talk 103.
Me and Dan Soder.
And Crackle Crackle.
And I'm on the road a ton.
BigJComedy.com for dates to everything.
I'm gonna go
probably cut myself now as I learn
to deal with the stress of losing for the first time here the first time
Hershey's off now though now you can do the next time you're on you can just have fun. No I get huffy now
I'm like this place sucks. That's why I do it. You just have to understand, Jay, that whenever Justin competes,
it's a true underdog story.
That was good.
Yeah.
It's a real Castino Royale.
What was it?
Battle Royale.
It's a real Battle Royale, not Castino Royale.
It's a real Battle Royale.
I don't know why,
I don't know why for a while when people were saying,
you're an accepted, right? I would correct
them and I would say, it's acceptance.
I don't know why
I found that funny. And they would say, really?
I thought it was accepted. And they would walk away thinking,
well, it's accepted. I always
imagine a time when they discover I was wrong
about the name of the movie.
No, he said it was acceptance.
He insisted. Well, thank you for accepting
the invitation to be here today more time for all of my guests Jeff Tate
Justin Big J O'Kerson and Arden Marine now I'm going to thank Netflix and the
Avalon the beautiful Avalon and as, he came to America in 1914. He said it was the most beautiful
place he'd ever seen.