Doug Loves Movies - Justin Long, Oscar Nunez, Clarke Wolfe and “David Lynch” guest
Episode Date: August 14, 2019Back home at the UCB Franklin, Doug welcomes Justin Long, Oscar Nunez, Clarke Wolfe and “David Lynch” to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium.... For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds
With 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies
Hey, everybody.
Oh, that mic.
Wow, that is a hot one.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies.
Coming to you once again from our original home,
the UCB Theater in Los Angeles!
Franklin Avenue location, of course.
It's Tuesday, August 13th, 2019.
And, well, I'm gonna be honest with you guys.
I'd like to see four or more name tags.
Just to make this, she's making one as we speak
keep working
one two
is that guy miming one over there
that's an interesting move
three four
five six
alright we have more than four
and another one in progress
so this is going to happen
go ahead and put them down bring the house lights down and another one in progress. So this is going to happen.
Go ahead and put them down.
Bring the house lights down.
Bring them way down.
Oh, that's good.
Doug plugs this Thursday and Friday,
August 15th and 16th in Austin, Texas.
I'm joining forces with Master Pancake Theater to mock movies that I am actually in.
It's the Doug Benson Film Festival
at the Alamo Drafthouse Ritz in downtown Austin.
Yeah, Thursday night we're going to show one movie that I'm in,
and Friday night two different ones,
separate admission for each,
but I've been in some great movies and some shitty movies,
so it's going to be a mixed bag and a lot of fun.
Saturday, Douglas Movies.
Chelsea, are you going to be there back at Flappers in Burbank?
Sure.
She says sure.
That sounds like a yes to me.
Flappers in Burbank, Saturday at 4.20 4 20 and i got an amazing lineup for that show too
so i'll uh i'll try to leak some of those names as the week goes on and douglas movies returns to
raleigh north carolina at good nights on saturday august 24th at 4 20. i'd like to do some dugouts
i'd like to give a dugout to the makers of the Peanut Butter Falcon.
Has anybody seen it yet?
An amazing movie.
I've seen twice, and it's expanding to cities all over the country
over the next few weeks.
And also a dugout to all the nice people who came to the Douglas Movies taping
in Houston and didn't laugh too loud or yell out answers or say what,
thank you to all those people, because most of them were that.
And I will definitely be going back to Houston.
I threatened them, like, oh, I'm not going to come here anymore.
I'm going to quit the show entirely.
But yeah, it worked out.
It's okay, Chelsea.
So who brought this bag from Showtime and just stuck it up here
with a weird angel has fallen.
I mean, what is this even?
Like it's supposed to be, you could put a hot thing or a cold thing in it.
It's a what?
A corksicle?
It's like a brand.
Yeah, it's like a koozie.
It's like a koozie, but it's called a corksicle.
Oh, you stick the beer in here?
Yeah, I think you put it frozen.
And then what do you do with this top part?
Can't put that on top of a beer.
Or I guess if it's a can of beer.
But would a can of beer fit in there?
I don't think so.
It's what?
Alright.
Did you guys listen to the Houston show?
Did it sound like I want to talk to the audience?
I'm just teasing you guys.
This is very informal here tonight, of course,
especially after that show.
But whoever brought this, thank you.
And there's no way I'm going to see Angel has fallen.
You know?
I mean, I sat through Olympus falling
and something else falling.
Like, everything's falling around this guy.
Like, just get away from him.
Seems like an easy solution.
It's like Bruce Willis in the Die Hard movies.
He's like, oh, here comes that guy where bad stuff happens.
Wherever he goes.
Let's run.
Prize bag. Let's run. Prize bag.
Let's talk about it.
I've got,
the bag says,
Good Bowl Enlightened Vietnamese.
I think that was in Traverse City.
Also in Traverse City,
a copy of Traverse City Magazine.
Had to grab one of those.
I was in Bend, Oregon,
and I went to a dispensary there
called aura grown and they gave me a nice hat I'm gonna hang on to this
actually I was at a thing earlier today up maybe I'll talk about it later I just
put my own stuff in the prize bag and then realize it when I'm sorting through
it oh this is fun I was in where was I when got this? I think I was in Rosemont, Illinois
in the movie theater where I saw
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
had these things you could hang
from your rear view mirror.
It's like a car air freshener
with the poster for the movie on it.
And then IFC Films is giving me tons of stuff
including Blu-ray of Blue is the Warmest Color
and what I think is a DVD Blu-ray of Blue is the Warmest Color. And what I think is a DVD Blu-ray of Mike Birbiglia's movie Sleepwalk With Me.
Not Sweep Walk With Me.
Great movie.
And yeah, so all of that stuff, plus stuff brought by my four guests.
Please, everybody, give it up for Clark Wolf, Justin Long, Oscar Nunez, and David Lynch.
Calm down, you guys.
It's going to be cool.
They're all backstage in a soundproof room.
And, oh, here we go.
Here they come.
It's kind of like, my guests will figure out eventually.
That was actually my fault,
because I was asking Justin Long
to tell me everything about Drag Me to Hell.
And I was listening to all these stories,
and then I was like, I think we have to go out there
now. Yeah and you should talk about TV or something
back there like to save the movie
conversation for out here because I want to
hear everything about drag me to hell
I was, yeah, it's selfish
I was just going on about it. No, it's fine
I wanted to hear it, I was interested
I like a panel that's enjoying
talking to each other backstage
so much that the show doesn't even matter.
Because it doesn't.
It's all about camaraderie.
Camaraderie and fun.
You guys go into the other room for seven minutes.
I've seen two things recently where they have that game seven minutes in the closet.
And both times the kids don't do shit in there.
I don't think...
Yeah, so all these years I thought,
wow, some stuff's really going down doing that game,
but apparently not.
When were you watching that?
What was that in?
Today I saw it in a short film.
I saw a short film program at the, what's it,
like the L.A. Film Festival or what's going on in L.A. right now?
Holly Shorts.
Holly Shorts, yes.
So they just went in the closet
and got kind of awkward with each other?
Yeah, because the other kids forced them in there
you know
and so they're like
oh what do we do
do we fuck
or do we just wait
until the seven minutes is up
and of course
they waited for the seven minutes
to be up
because they're nice kids
they weren't talking about
Sam Raimi movies
that's what I would have been doing
drag me to the closet
also I forgot to mention
I got a Doug Benson
pin from Rockin' Pins in the prize bag.
But let's meet our guests individually. This is so exciting. I love all these guests and
so happy they're here. Starting with the lady on the end there. It's Clark Wolf, everybody.
Hey, guys. Hello.
How are you doing? I'm doing well. How are doing?
I'm doing well.
How are you?
I'm good.
So just right now, just ask Justin something else about Drag Me to Hell.
Cool.
Okay.
Okay.
Oh, okay.
Did you?
Okay.
No, I don't know.
No, seriously.
Go ahead.
I feel like this is weird now.
Do you think that Christine got what she deserved in the end?
Yes.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Hot takes.
She fucked somebody over.
But did she?
Yeah, I think.
Something about a loan.
I'm not really remembering why she did get dragged to hell.
She denied a lady a bank loan.
That's what it was.
But she had had a bunch of extensions already
and
so you thought
she should have been
like ushered
to purgatory
maybe for a little while
yeah exactly
it should have been
ushered to purgatory
it's a better title
not as dramatic maybe
sweet trip to purgatory
light snacks available
yeah
shetly chaperoned
just hang out here for a minute.
It was severe.
It was drastic.
All right.
If you think of any more Drag Me Home questions, keep them to yourself.
All right.
The next one.
Sitting to her right.
Here he is again.
It's been a while.
He doesn't even remember doing this show.
It's Oscar Nunez, everybody.
Hi.
I've done this show before,
but the format was different. The
mezzanine is gone. That's true.
It was here. We did it here. It was
when we used to have a mezzanine here.
Here, and it's different now.
Yeah. It's good to visit the old UCB.
But thanks for coming back.
Sure, Doug.
I wasn't sure the last time if you had
fun or not, so I'm glad. I don't remember.
Just seeing that you're back, just knowing
that you are willing to come back means you must
have, you don't have
negative feelings about it. It wasn't awful.
It wasn't awful.
That's an endorsement.
That's on my tombstone. He's indifferent.
It wasn't awful. It wasn't awful.
It wasn't great either. Could have't awful. It wasn't awful. It wasn't great.
Could have been worse.
Could have been worse.
But this is, I can't, everybody went crazy when I said this earlier, and I do not blame
you because his movies are, he's made so many amazing, I'm so nervous, so many amazing movies
over the years, not just one year.
I can't speak in front of this man.
It's pretty exciting.
David Lynch, everybody.
Thank you, everyone.
Thank you.
Douglas, it is fantastic to be here.
Truly.
Are you actually familiar with the podcast?
Like, how did this happen?
I've listened to the marijuana one and enjoyed it a great deal.
I just think it's terrific.
But when you told me I could come here with these fine people
and be able to talk about the joy of transcending 20 minutes twice a day
into pure consciousness, a pure creative field,
it was just too good to pass up.
I invited you here to do that?
Well, you may not have known that,
but we're going to talk about TM plenty.
What's going on with Twin Peaks?
You did a season of that for Showtime.
Is there going to be more?
Well, Doug,
as I said at the Ace Hotel,
the signal is starting
to come in,
but it's hazy.
And that's really
all I can reveal for now.
Don't be a stinker, Douglas.
We're here to talk about TM.
I don't think we are.
Not TP.
Well, we can talk
about that, too,
if you're having some kind of issue, Justin.
It's just an honor to talk to you about anything.
No, it's incredible.
I like Charmin.
I like the three-ply.
Don't cheat yourself.
That's a great judge of character.
If you go to someone's house,
especially a rich person,
and they have cheap toilet paper,
they'll end up
you over they're saying I don't care about myself or you it's a character
revealer I swear to God that in if somebody mistreats a waitress or a
waiter without fail if they treat a waiter or waitress poorly one day
they're gonna you over so you treat your asshole the way you would treat a waiter or waitress poorly, one day they're going to fuck you over.
So you treat your asshole the way you would treat a waiter or waitress,
with respect?
Unless the waiter or waitress is an asshole, yes.
That's Justin Long, everybody!
Thank you, guys.
Thank you. That's Justin Long, everybody! Look at that!
You've done the show in New York and Austin, Texas
and Paris.
Where haven't I done the show?
Yeah, Paris.
Yeah, but it's great
to see you here in Los Angeles.
Oh, that one was, you know,
I mean,
it didn't matter that the crowd sucked.
There was so many incoming.
I was excited.
Yeah, it was.
They hated Black Hawk Down there.
You cut this out, right?
You edit this?
Yeah, I don't know why I did a whole game based around war movies when I was in Somalia.
It seems like I should have changed shit up a little bit, but if you go
back and find that episode, you guys
will find that it's
not there.
So,
Justin, I had the treat
of seeing a movie that you were in
in advance. I saw it
in advance twice.
And
it was directed by my friend Dan Schechter,
who's been on this show.
And it's called Safe Spaces.
And what's the latest with that?
How soon are people going to see it?
I think in the fall, there's some...
Yeah.
So next month?
Next month, yeah.
Next month?
Big tentpole.
IMAX.
No, it's one of the
little movie you can see
I think it's streaming
in October November
and in fact you're the
reason I did the movie
I'm so grateful
yeah it only happened
because of me you guys
he texted me
it was like a simple text
yeah
yeah I put
my friend Dan said
hey you know Justin Long
I was like well he's been
on my podcast a few times
super nice guy
and he's like well
can you ask him to
read my script
and I did
and you said okay so
I was like oh this is working out great that's how I said it too okay okay I guess I'll do it
and then uh yeah and then you read it and liked it and then my work was done and Fran Drescher
played my mom which was exciting I had nothing to do with that no that's right it was yeah the
only thing like there's a lot of thank yous
in the end credits
and the thank you for me
is solely for getting
Justin Long
to read the script.
Well, thank you.
Because the script had to
do the rest of the work.
And that's how
the sausage gets made,
ladies and gentlemen.
You're watching it right here.
He's been running the scenes.
This is how things happen.
And now you've introduced
Justin to David Lynch.
So that alone
is more than worth it. You're two for two. What do you think the odds are David Lynch, so you're two for two.
What do you think the odds are, David, that you'll cast
Justin or anybody on this
panel? Like you said, they're fine
people. He told me he was a fan of The Office.
Well, who wasn't, Oscar?
You were just terrific on there. There was
true pathos on that television
show. My God.
Wasn't The Office maybe a little too quickly paced for you though well you know no I enjoyed it I would sit out back and put it on and
watch Oscar and of course David Koechner and all those other fantastic people and
I would always say what I'm watching the Office, I'd wear cheap socks because they're going to get knocked right off.
Thank you. That means a lot.
Don't fuck up your expensive socks.
Well, speaking of expensive socks, I don't know what you brought,
but I can't wait to see what David Lynch would bring for the prize bag.
But let's start with you, Justin.
What do you have to give away today?
A bunch of stuff.
Because we're in Hollywood.
Oh, use your microphone.
I have a Hollywood shirt.
It just says Hollywood on it?
Yeah.
Wow.
I got a couple.
Authentic.
Yeah.
I went to Amoeba the other day and I bought.
Stoned at Amoeba is difficult for me. I just bought so many DVDs and I bought, I was stoned at Amoeba. It's difficult for me.
I just bought so many DVDs
and I realized that I already had a few.
So I'm going to give these,
one of my favorite movies.
And Mike Myers, I can't go wrong with that.
You got people listening to this.
Oh, right.
It's a podcast, right.
So what is the thing?
How's your podcast going?
Do you just do that on your show?
Oh, there's this and the other thing.
I'm pulling another thing
on the back.
I'm just holding shit up.
You don't know what it is.
Don't worry about it.
I'm putting it on a table.
It's Planes, Trains,
and Automobiles.
Yes.
Those aren't pillows.
Yeah.
It's the Those Aren't Pillows
edition,
and it's got a deleted scene,
which I haven't seen,
so I'm excited to see that.
Tribute to John Gannon.
Thanks, Brett.
And the best of Mike Myers,
including Dieter,
my favorite character.
And this is where the light is.
John Mayer,
live on DVD,
went to high school
with John Mayer.
And that's when he gave you that?
No, yeah.
He said,
one day this will be worth something.
About this,
Caramel Popcorn.
Oh, look at that.
From Jones.
It's so good.
And then I did my friend John Hodgman,
with whom I did those Mac commercials.
I almost said PC commercials.
And I signed it,
PC is a better writer than me.
Love Mac.
It's sort of a self-referential.
Yeah.
Jeff, John, give it to me.
I'm giving it to you.
And just to prove that I have many very cool friends,
my friend Zoe Deschanel gave me this.
It's a She and Him vinyl, and I'm giving it to the bag.
I've got to say, most people don't bring in stuff brought in
that was given to them by other cool people.
Yeah, it's an excuse to name drop.
Yeah, but also, yeah, they'll be able to name drop
when they're showing people all these items.
They probably won't even mention you.
No, I hope not.
This is straight from Zoe Deschanel.
This Hollywood shirt came right from Zooey Deschanel.
Cool.
Yeah, just not that into you.
Okay, so thank you for bringing all that.
And here we are.
We're at the point where we're going to find out what...
I mean, someone told you there's a prize bag?
Or I guess...
Oh, I came prepared, Doug.
I completely came prepared ladies and gentlemen this is catching the big fish and if you want an intro to transcendental meditation if you are
tired of wearing the rubber clown suit of despair every day this book is a
fantastic intro it's called catching Catching the Big Fish.
And that's because up here at the
surface, there's tiny little fish, Doug.
They're little minnows.
But when you transcend
and get lower, there are giant
fishes. And friends,
this is a metaphor.
There are giant fishes
of creativity. There are sharks.
There are seals. There are seals.
There are porpoises.
There's everything you'll ever need to see there.
And that's the beginning of this book.
And we're hoping we can have you get interested in this book
and then go to the David Lynch Foundation on Highland Avenue.
Okay?
Yeah.
We want you to go.
You want to go there right now?
No, I'm going to go there after the show. Anybody's you to go. You want to go there right now? No, I'm going to go there after the show.
Anybody's welcome to come.
I also have some incredibly collectible
Twin Peaks 8x10s.
There's about 50 of these made for Comic-Con,
and about 49 of them are left.
So you all can enjoy this incredible prize package
and actually change your life starting tonight or tomorrow
if you want to.
That's fantastic.
Oscar, what do you got for us?
Well, first, Mr. Lynch, my wife and I went to the TM Center
in Los Feliziz and we're
members we signed up for are you kidding yeah i've oscar that is fantastic yeah i've only done it a
couple times but it i should do it more but the couple of times i did it it does make me feel
better it feels it feels more restful than a nap than a regular nap well oscar it's really funny
you should bring this up because what it's doing is having the stress
actually physically leave your body.
There is stress.
We are reducing cortisol levels right there on Highland Avenue.
There is science to back this up,
and we're so excited you are there.
What is your mantra?
I can't say that.
You just passed test number one.
Look at that, everybody. Oscar Nunez.
It's 20
minutes. It's not easy. They want you to do
20 minutes. Well we'd love you to do 20
with the mantra and a cooling off
period of 5 minutes without.
And the science shows that's where a lot of the benefit
comes. You'll start having
weird as hell memories from childhood
come up. that's the trauma
being released in your body oscar nunez well i just wanted to say thank you well you're welcome
it's not doing any harm well that's all we can add we're gonna put that on a t-shirt tm it's not
doing any harm i bought a mug from the office i said to my wife's like you have to bring something i'm like what do
we have and and so i so i had a mug i looked for the thing and i'll sign it whoever it's okay
whoever wins right their name we'll get him a sharpie and he'll write on it but it says
dunder mifflin on it yeah it's an awesome mug from oscar Yeah, it's perfect.
Clark, what do you have for us? Well, I feel like everybody brought something
straight from a very important
person tonight.
So I have Supergirl's cape.
Yes.
She gave that to you? She did.
It was so nice.
She's a doll, I gotta tell you.
And this cape in particular, you can hang on the back of
your chair. Supergirl chair needs... Any chair? Any chair. Wait, a super chair. There are capes that can't be draped on a chair?
They seem very drapeable. Listen, I don't make the rules, Doug. All right.
And I also,
since,
so I love horror movies and basically
when Fourth of July
is over,
it's Halloween for me.
So I brought you all
Annabelle creation
on Blu-ray,
which a lot of people
really liked.
And I remember
when David Sandberg
brought Annabelle
and sat in your audience.
Yeah, Annabelle
was his goddamn name tag. I know. It was, I remember being on the stageberg brought Annabelle and sat in your audience. Yeah, Annabelle was his goddamn name tag.
I know.
I remember being on the stage and seeing Annabelle and them being like, that's David Sandberg.
And I nerded out a little.
But anyway, this one's fine.
Annabelle in the Basement, or Comes Home, which just came out, I actually really liked.
So I liked that one.
And It, chapter one, because we're all getting ready for It, chapter two,
which I'm very excited about.
And since this is a Blu-ray, you can watch this
really great behind-the-scenes
thing with Bill Skarsgård,
and they actually
show you that Bill Skarsgård
can contort his
mouth into that weird
Pennywise thing that he does. He actually
does that. And also his eyeball.
You know how, like, Penny, for nerds in here
who are, like, paying attention to this stuff,
you know how Pennywise's eyeball kind of, like, rolls a little bit?
That's Bill Skarsgård doing that.
He can fucking do it.
It's really cool.
So, anyway, physical media is important,
and watch the behind-the-scenes on your Blu-rays.
And thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Did you really go to high school with John Mayer?
I knew you'd be thinking about that the whole time.
The whole time.
You've been meditating on that the entire time.
Truly, Justin, that's fantastic.
That is a talented young man.
Thank you.
Well, pass it on to him.
Wow, you will believe a chair cape can fly.
It literally says chair cape on it.
I fucking love that.
It's a super cool
chair cape. Not suitable for wearing
around your neck.
Put it on a chair and watch it fly.
Is this it, Doug?
What do you mean?
Is this a show? We What do you mean? The show?
That's the whole show.
We get a whole bag of shit.
I go home, start typing up.
I log into eBay.
There's no papers and no pencils.
There's nothing to write on.
What do we do?
You don't have to write anything.
You're going to answer questions.
Okay.
Yeah.
I start with a real easy one that still stumps some of my guests.
We'll see how it works with Justin.
Justin Long, don't lie to us.
What was the last movie you saw?
Apocalypse Now.
I saw it last night.
Yeah.
Were you there?
Oh, my God.
Is this what they're calling the final cut?
Yes. Yeah, and it's like 180 minutes God. Is this what they're calling the final cut? Yes.
Yeah, and it's like 180 minutes or 153 minutes, I think.
I don't know.
Yeah, two and a half hours-ish.
Oh yeah, you must have seen it too.
No, no, I just saw the ads for it because I was like, oh, I think I'd do that.
Was it worthwhile for you?
It was incredible and yeah, it was amazing.
And Coppola and Martin Sheen and Albert Hall and Fishburne were all there.
Did a Q&A afterwards.
It was fucking incredible.
Wow.
Yeah.
Why couldn't they get Brando?
I didn't know you before tonight.
Why wasn't Brando there?
That's a good question.
He's a diva.
Is that why?
Yeah.
They probably couldn't get him.
I haven't heard anything about him in a long time.
Doug, I have some horrible news for you.
We'll wait until after the show.
I don't want to bring this thing down.
Okay.
I think he was pissed they didn't ask him to be Jor-El
in the new Superman movie.
Protesting.
Okay.
We should have given him the chair cape.
He would have felt a lot better.
Great answer, Justin.
David Lynch.
Thanks.
What was the last movie you saw, sir?
Well, I got two kids to put
in Netflix in my
concrete room.
And I was able to watch
Bob Dylan and the Rolling Thunder
review from 1976. And I thought it to watch Bob Dylan and the Rolling Thunder Review from 1976.
And I thought it was absolutely fantastic.
I hear it's good.
It's good.
And Justin, you may know, they're messing with people.
It's not a straight documentary.
That's what I was going to ask.
Have you guys seen this?
Do you know?
It's Scorsese, right?
It's Scorsese.
But then I heard it's sort of like pseudo-mockumentary.
And I'm trying to figure out which parts are made up.
He never dated Sharon Stone.
That I heard, yeah.
It didn't happen.
But a lot of that stuff
is true, right?
In the documentary.
It's weird.
Why are they doing that?
I don't know.
It really bothered me.
Justin, I'm asking you.
Oh, I...
I don't know.
I just want to tell you why.
I watched half of it
then I stopped.
I'm like, eh.
He's messing with you.
He's an ascended Andy Kaufman.
He's doing a bit.
It's a mad performance art to another level combining kabuki-ism.
Bobby or Martin?
Bobby or Martin?
Bob Dylan or Martin?
Bob Dylan.
He's performing.
It's some of the best improvisation I've seen
the scene where he's talking about
different characters
it's not true
but he's doing some weird acting
not unlike Mastin Anonymous
Larry Charles underrated as heck
David Lynch is bringing it tonight
I love it
one time I met you do you remember you used to draw
like a weekly cartoon strip where every picture the strip was the same every
time you just change what's in the coming out of a thought bubble coming
out of a window at the end in the Los Angeles weekly yeah yeah it's called the
angriest dog in the world. Yes. And the first panel
would just say
it's about a dog
that's so angry
he's stricken by rigor mortis
and can't move.
Straining at the leash.
Yeah, he's straining at the leash.
There's three panels
of him straining at the leash
and then the fourth panel
is people talking
inside the house
and they're just saying stuff
like, did you do the laundry?
No, you do it.
And that's the whole,
that's the whole strip
at one week he did one where the people weren't talking inside the house and so i clipped that
one out and saved it and then when i met you the first time i asked you to sign it and and you
looked at it and you're just like yeah you know and signed it but like you weren't like impressed
that i picked out the one where there was no dialogue. Well, I didn't understand the nuance then. I didn't understand
who you were. Now I know.
Yeah, I was just a fan saying
sign this comic strip of yours that I
tore out of the LA Weekly. Well, you can see
how that might be scary.
The great thing about that LA Weekly,
it was free. You could
walk up to any newsstand and just grab
as many as you wanted. I'd grab
eight, nine, ten, never got caught. It's still around, Mr. Lynch. It's still... Well, it's been
sold. It's a great deal thinner. It's now owned by marijuana lobbyist lawyers, and I'm hoping
they bring it back. Well, no, I didn't mean to bring the room down again. But Mr. Lynch,
you must get asked to sign a lot of strange things, I imagine.
Well, I got asked to sign a woodland creature about a week and a half ago.
No problem.
He was very friendly.
Named Pierre.
Where did you sign it?
How did you sign it?
I signed it right on his snout, Justin.
And he was okay with it.
Thank God.
Here I sit.
Could have turned two different ways
you gotta tell
John Mayer about this
oh I can't wait to
truly
that goes without saying
I can't imagine
what he was like
in like a shop
or a chemistry class
he had to be a cut up
I remember him
being a little shy
like surprisingly shy
now given his
his persona now
well now he's on the road
with Dave Chappelle
the two of them
doing a remarkable deal
together I've heard.
You know so much about pop culture, Mr. Lynch.
Well, you've got to be a participant.
Mr. Lynch, did you
do the weather on the radio?
I briefly did the weather on
DavidLynch.com.
It's going to be hot tomorrow,
friends. 90 degrees
with a 100% chance of hopelessness.
What was the last movie you saw?
Bob Dylan and the Rolling Stones?
No, no. I'm moving on to Oscar.
Oh, sorry.
Sorry, I didn't give direct eye contact
to Oscar when I asked that.
I started to watch that.
I started to watch that and I started to watch that and then I watched,
I was watching John Lennon,
The Sky Above Us.
I was,
before coming over here,
but I watched Brightburn
or Burnham?
Oh, yeah, Brightburn.
Brightburn,
because David Denman's in it,
my friend from the office.
He was in it,
so I watched that.
You're friends with him
after Harry treated Pam?
But Brightburn is a... That's James Gunn, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
His brother.
Yeah, I got to see that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's right.
You guys know everything.
But this panel knows everything.
Yeah.
I'm friends with Yarbo.
I'm not going to get anything past this panel.
But what was your last movie, Clark? I watched for the show I'm on with Yarbo I'm not going to get anything past this panel but what was your last movie Clark?
I watched for the show
I'm on DC Daily
Constantine, Francis Lawrence's Constantine
today, I gave it a rewatch
it's on the DC Universe
platform and I
love that movie, I know that
Keanu Reeves is not
Cockney or British but I think it's
really good, he tries to do an accent? no,ney or British, but I think it's really good.
He tries to do an accent?
No, no, no, no.
Oh, okay.
He Costner's it?
He's just like, fuck it, I'm Keanu.
I'll just talk like me.
That's exactly right.
I did notice, however,
that most of the supporting actors around him are English.
Like, they're British.
So I was like, oh, that's kind of funny.
But anyway.
Oh, Constantine.
Exactly.
Gavin Ross.
Why don't you speak like us? Yeah. Oh, Constantine. Exactly. Gavin Ross. Why don't you speak like us?
Oh.
I'm doing my own thing.
If it ain't broke,
don't fix it.
And now Justin,
he's doing Wick
but he is Wick.
He was on Ellen DeGeneres
and he's the guy.
What's that line from John Wick?
People say I'm something or other.
People say I'm back.
Yeah, I'm thinking I'm back.
Very good.
Very good.
Yeah, that's very nice.
All right.
This is the part of the show where I say, turn it off, Bert.
Let the games begin.
We've got name tags.
So many name tags.
And each of you has to go select the one.
There's a guy with money over there.
You have to select the one that speaks to you and bring it back to your seat.
And while you do that, we'll go to a brief commercial message.
We'll be right back.
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But here are some surprising statistics.
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If you're impaired from alcohol, don't get behind the wheel.
If you feel different, you drive different.
Drive sober or get pulled over. Back behind the wheel. If you feel different, you drive different. Drive sober or get pulled over.
Back to the show.
All right, we're back.
That was a very polite process.
Here we go, Oscars.
Oscars is excited because the back of his name
takes his positive energy.
Justin, who are you playing on behalf of?
I am playing on behalf of Mitch
no don't read that
we haven't done the shitheads thing for a while
but he wants us to say
Mitch McConnell is a shithead
I don't have a problem with that
agreed
Somalia seems like forever ago
David yes of course
Dog Dave
I love a good pun
that's a really good pun
and I love the movie
yeah
sorry if I didn't go wrong
yesterday was
John Cazale's birthday
was it
John Cazale
one of the most
fantastic actors
who has ever lived
we love him
yeah
he was in five movies
and all five of them
were nominated
for best picture
by the Oscars
Oscar and the line they the Oscars. Oscar.
And the line,
They're Oscars five favorite movies.
Oh, you nominated all of them.
I nominated,
but you know,
Apocalypse Now is in my top five movies.
Oh, so it's Oscar,
it's in the Oscar contention.
But, yes.
But Casale, he left us too early.
Yeah.
They took us.
There's very few.
They're like him and James Dean
were like, you know, everything they were in
just was a classic.
It doesn't happen very often,
but boys, he was great.
And the line Wyoming was improvised by him.
His famous line in Dog Day Afternoon,
he improvised that,
which I don't like improv on my sets.
I would have told him,
Mr. Cazale, do we have to send you the principal's office?
That's what I said to James Belushi.
That's very real.
Oh, Belushi.
So who are you playing on behalf of there?
I am playing for the right Steve.
There we go.
Excellent work, Steve.
What do you got, Oscar?
The Scott lot.
You got some donut-ies
and some Tito's.
Some vodka.
Looks like a pre-rolled
joint there on there.
A little smoky-smoky.
Absolutely.
Do you enjoy all those things?
The vodka, yes, and the donuts. Okay. We'll just, you know, those things um the vodka yes
and the donuts
okay
well just
you know
those are yours
to keep if you want
absolutely
okay
and Clark
I am
okay so State
and Maine
my last name
which one
Maine
State and Maine
one of them's
my last name
last name's Ann
don't worry about it
alright so I'm playing
for Mr. Maine
okay
and he put
all of us except for you Mr. Lynch he Okay. And he put all of us, except for you, Mr. Lynch.
He was a mystery, yeah.
He didn't know you were coming.
It was a question mark.
So in your place is the lovely, departed Philip Seymour Hoffman.
Oh.
But all the rest of us are on here.
Boy, I was watching Boogie Nights.
Fucking idiot.
Fucking idiot.
Fucking idiot.
He says, like, six times, oh, Fucking idiot. He says like six times.
Oh my God.
He's amazing.
So you work on the movies?
Because I didn't tell you.
So whatever.
Could you do Philip Superhoff
in like any movie
or only the ones
you really know?
No, when I,
this is a quick story
you can cut out,
but when I met him,
I was doing Galaxy Quest
20 years ago
and Sam Rockwell
was in the movie
and Sam said
hey my buddy Phil
is coming to set
and I
and I knew
that he knew Phil
and he was in that
and I was just obsessed
I had just left school
and I was obsessed
with Boogie Nights
and happiness
and all those
I was just the biggest fan
and I was so nervous
to be around
him and um that night uh sam was trying to get me to do hey hey phil you know justin there's a great
impression of you oh my god you gotta see this and and i got too nervous to do it and that's so weird
we were at el compadre on sunset and and uh we started we started drinking and and uh i i got
drunk enough to the point where i just out of nowhere was like,
okay, I'll do it.
Just like unsolicited,
and I did it for him,
and everybody was laughing,
and I remember him saying,
well, that's just me from Boogie Nights.
That's not how I sound.
Yeah.
And his friends were like,
yeah, it's good, it's okay.
And he's like, no, that's just me from beginning.
I like it.
He was the best.
Yeah, he was great.
We lost him too early.
Did we say that already?
We've said it twice now.
I mean, he's going to remain lost too early.
Yeah.
So that sentiment's never gonna change
everyone in here
is going to pass away
that's right
that's a really strong
statement
as is everyone listening to this at home
or in your car
you at home are all going to pass away
what are you going to do right now
so we should live in the now.
We should transcend this life.
Justin, I sure like you.
Put me in a movie, please, Mr. Winch.
Let's start with a new game.
Does that work, Justin?
Did that ever work?
I'm intrigued.
No, I saw something there.
Just a glimmer of a little piece of something
I could maybe mold into something else.
Yeah, desperation?
I don't hate that.
We don't run from trauma at my house.
This is a game called
We're All Gonna Die.
And, no, this is
called Characters Welcome.
Yeah.
Everyone on this panel has played
numerous characters. Even David
Lynch, you were so great and lucky with Harry Dean Stanton.
Wasn't that fantastic?
Yeah.
Well, truly.
I mean, that was to be with Harry Dean near the end.
It just doesn't get any better than that.
And then we honored him at the Ace Hotel,
and we brought in a mariachi band and Jonathan Depp,
and he was absolutely fantastic.
We lost Harry Dean too soon.
Well, that's subjective on the whole.
We're going to die.
I was going to say, I think that was just about that one.
That was about right.
It was okay.
That wasn't too soon.
Somewhere too soon.
Somewhere, that was.
By the way, R.I.P.
R.I.P. was a good title.
He's lucky to still be alive.
This is not funny, but R.I.P. Rip.
Torn.
Yeah. Has anyone made the, it's not good title. He's lucky to still be alive. This is not funny, but R.I.P. Rip. Torn. Yeah.
Has anyone made the...
It's not a joke.
No, I really had to, like, really carefully graph my tweet when he passed away, because,
you know, it just seems like you're making fun of him to say R.I.P. Torn.
Yeah.
But that's basically what you're doing when you say, you know, R.I.P. Rip.
His parents must have known that that would happen someday.
But I saw a few minutes of
the other day and boy he's anything he shows up in so he's so good all right
p&m maybe well you know what you guys I could talk about I could talk about the
most recent deaths of in show business but instead instead we're going to try to celebrate the living.
Okay.
Yeah, we'll see. We'll see how that goes.
This game, characters welcome.
All of you, just have your microphones ready
because you can just guess as often as you like.
As I list off the character names,
you know how there's odd character names
in the end credits of a movie.
What's one of your weird ones, Mr. Lynch?
You're always like, you know,
have somebody in the titles that's like,
guy who likes pie or something like that.
Oh, sure, guy in the big hat.
Yes, there you go.
That's right.
But then you know who it is, and that actor, people are like,
that's the SOB in the big hat.
It helps them.
It might help them get more work.
You get very specific.
Not enough specificity in the world today, Doug.
Well, I think you're going to like some of these in this one,
because whoever made this movie got some real specific credits in the end titles.
So just, like I said, guess as often as you like,
and the first person to get it right wins.
Traveler.
There's just a character called Traveler.
Then there's another one called Red.
Man in Gent's Room.
And we're guessing the actor?
No, the name of the film.
Cable Guy?
It has these parts in it.
These roles, these characters are all in the same film.
Someone called Good Witch.
Wizard of Oz.
I wonder where that Men in Gents room scene went in Wizard of Oz
if that was the answer.
Is it Lost Highway?
No.
But that's interesting
that you'd guess a movie.
It's a fantastic movie.
Mr. Lynch made.
Is it Wild at Heart?
That is correct!
I tried to discourage you
but no, that's not it.
Don't go down that road.
That's a Lost Highway. A yellow brick but no, that's not it. Don't go down that road. That's a lost highway.
A yellow brick road. But yeah, you did it.
Why didn't you recognize it?
Well, that period of time is kind of hazy for me.
I remember Cal and Laura Dern,
and then it took me about two and a half years
to get over working with Robert Blake,
if we're going to talk shop.
Mr. Lynch, what was it like working with Nick Cage
on that movie?
Well, Nicholas Cage
is absolutely fantastic.
Nicholas Cage believes
actors are shamans.
There's a book
called The Way of the Actor,
Pseudopsychology,
that what we thought
shamans were actors,
and Nick Cage
is deep in all this.
Wow.
I like Nick Cage, too.
He's also a shamanic shapeshifter.
Absolutely incredible, friends.
Those two should collaborate, huh?
Cave Cage.
Yes, yes, they should.
They should have a cave cage match.
Right?
Cage match in a cave.
So yeah, so the aforementioned Nick Cage
played Sailor Ripley in the film.
And Laura Dern was Lula.
And in one of his creepiest roles, which is saying a lot, Willem Dafoe was Bobby Perun.
So good.
And do you know the story of his teeth?
We cast him.
He's got fucked up teeth in that movie.
Well, he sure does.
And he didn't know he was going to get it.
And then I looked at him and I said, Willem,
you're going to get some teeth,
boy. And we took him in and got
him those teeth and he incorporated
all of it and he was terrifying.
And I would have nightmares and then
just wake up and thank him.
Alright, well, so all that means since Clark got that one is she gets to go first in our next game,
and it's a brand-new game.
We haven't played this one before.
It's called Dr. Doctor.
Doctor.
And here's how it works.
Yeah, there's an ellipsis in the name of this game.
I'm ready.
I'm going to go to you one at a time.
We'll start with Clark.
Then we'll go to Oscar, David, Justin.
Just come straight at you with it.
I'll name a movie.
I mean, excuse me, I'll name an actor.
And then you tell me if that movie that that actor is in.
What?
Is.
Okay.
You get three choices.
Okay.
Is that actor in Dr. Detroit, Dr. Giggles, or Doc Hollywood?
Okay.
All right.
Yeah.
Jeez.
I brought a hard game because I knew what a great panel I had tonight.
And also, you got a one in three shot of getting it right.
That's okay.
Yeah.
If you don't get it right, though, it moves on to Oscar.
Okay. Yeah. If you don't get it right, though, it moves on to Oscar. Okay.
And the third person in a row,
if the two people miss,
that's like a free point.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Oh.
James Brown,
Clark.
Detroit,
Hollywood,
or?
Detroit.
That's correct. That's correct.
Oscar?
Yes.
George Hamilton.
What are my choices again?
Giggles, Hollywood, or Detroit.
They're all doctors.
George Hamilton.
That is correct.
That's the name I said.
I'm breaking it down.
He lives in Beverly Hills.
He doesn't want to travel far from home.
He likes to stay close to his tanning beds
and his cigar stores.
I'm going to say Hollywood
because it's close to Beverly Hills.
Well, that is some interesting logic.
Because that film takes place
outside of Hollywood.
That's why they call him Doc Hollywood
because he's from California.
But you're right.
It's Doc Hollywood.
Thank you. Thank you, Clark.
David?
Yeah?
Are you familiar with an actress named Glenn Headley?
That's Doc Hollywood.
No.
Zhivago.
No.
Zhivago.
That just sounds like something someone would say when they miss a question.
Zhivago.
Do a little too.
Looking for a hotel?
Try Zhivago.
Justin?
I would say Giggles.
You would?
That's incorrect.
Oh.
Yeah.
Clark.
Yeah.
Now it's a memory game.
Well, he said Zhivago, right?
No, that was his second guess.
Zhivago's not even an option.
I promise you, I won't say Omar Sharif or Mound of Snow.
The stars of Dr. Zhivago.
Oh wait, Julie Christie was in that, right?
Yes.
Okay.
It is a memory game.
Gosh.
Detroit Hollywood or Giggles?
Giggles.
Is that what you just said?
I just said that, I think.
No, she's in Dr. Detroit.
Oh, no.
There is some fantastic urban decay in Detroit.
If you ever want to tour around there, they light houses on fire.
And it's as inspiring a thing as you can see.
It's coming back now, though, but hopefully not too quick.
And you can get out there and see it.
Oscar.
Detroit Giggles or Hollywood.
Fran Drescher.
Currently starring as Justin's mom.
In Safe Spaces.
Giggles.
No.
Detroit.
That is correct.
Oh, such an exciting competition.
Justin, which one of those was Doug E. Doug in?
Doug E. Doug.
Doug E. Doug.
Shit.
Doug E. Doug.
Not fresh.
Not Doug E. Doug.
Not Doug E. Fresh.
I mean, I get mixed up with both of these guys.
God damn.
Dougie Doug.
Well, it's a Dougie Doug world, so I'm just going to have to say.
You just live in it.
Fucking Detroit.
No.
Hollywood.
No.
Oscar. Giggles.. No. Oscar.
Giggles.
Giggles is right.
Oscar's on the board.
All right, we're back to Mr. David Lynch.
Holly Marie Combs.
Holly Marie Combs was on Picket Fences.
She was?
For sure.
She was also one of the sisters on Charmed.
Fantastic. Fantastic.
I'm going to say Hollywood.
No.
God.
Justin?
The Shrouds.
Huh?
Which one was that no clark
is it giggles uh yes it is dr giggles all right so uh clark wins. Clark wins that game.
We're on a roll, Mr. Main.
We had a tiebreaker.
It was Bridget Fonda.
Do you guys remember which one she was in?
Hollywood.
Doc Hollywood, yeah.
What happened to her, Justin?
For me?
Is this to me?
She, I think, just wanted to do other things.
Like what?
You know, she wanted to garden and have a family and live upstate and, you know, catch butterflies
and the net. I don't know. That's not enough
for me. Oh, sorry. I bet they
just stopped hiring her. No.
Very few want
to do other things. She maybe
got in trouble with somebody. There was a point of no return
where she felt like she couldn't come back.
Thank you.
Now we're getting warm, I think.
Thank you.
Now we're getting warm, I think.
All right, well.
We lost her, too.
Yeah, we lost her.
Julie Warner?
Was that the girl in that?
In Doc Hollywood, yeah. Yeah, Julie Warner was the main girl.
And she's a very nice lady, but she's also super tiny,
so she was good.
She was Michael J. Fox-sized, yeah.
But that's a cute movie.
I haven't seen it in a while.
Woody Harrelson.
David Ogden Steers from Mesh.
All right.
David Ogden Steers from Francis Sturridge.
Alright, one more game
to determine our winner
for the first time that this show
has been at 8 o'clock
on Tuesday night here at UCB.
I'm very excited about this time slot.
Sans mezzanine.
We're going to play a game called
Bennington. That doesn't really explain what it
is but um our friend ron bennington suggested this game and i love it and uh who so who won
that last one clark won that last one okay so clark is going to go first this time we'll switch
the order around because i like to do that uh so it's going to go to justin then david then oscar
and each one of you will get a chance to go first in this game.
And it will rotate.
So hopefully I'll do this right.
But Clark starts us off.
I'm going to name an actor.
All you've got to do is try to guess what you think.
You want their number one movie of all time, according to Box Office Mojo,
after adjusting for inflation.
North American Box Office. Yeah. Yeah. a box office mojo after adjusting for inflation north north american box office yeah yeah yeah
so it's really kind of that cat has a lot of quality you just got to think of the best the
biggest movies that the you know the person i'm naming has been in and if you name one that's in
the top three you get points okay one point for number three two for two three for one
and uh there's there's no wrong answers
except for
incorrect answers.
So we'll start with you, Clark.
And all you gotta do is tell me
what's in the top three films
in the career
of Christina Applegate.
Oh.
Hmm.
I'm gonna go The Sweetest Thing.
Okay.
Thank you.
Somebody in the audience has totally got your back on that.
Justin?
I'm going to say, as a little cheating,
but Alvin and the Chipmunks, The Squeakquel.
Why is that cheating?
Well, I was in the movie.
I played Alvin.
I don't want to brag.
It's not something you should brag about, I guess.
I was in the squeak war.
I mean, this was all just to see if you would admit to being in it, and you did.
Thanks a lot.
Mr. Lynch?
Well, I have to say,
Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead,
which features an absolutely fantastic
supporting performance by our dear
Kimmy Robertson.
Lucy, the secretary from
Twin Peaks, is fantastic in that.
She's great. And that's an iconic movie.
Because I don't know if you...
They go away, and the babysitter dies.
Gone too soon.
Spoiler alert.
There's real trauma in this movie,
and it's something we can all work through together.
The babysitter died too soon.
Is that...
The dishes are done, man.
Is that where that's from?
Yes. That is, Justin. Iconic line. Is that Don't The dishes are done man Is that where that's from Yes
That is Justin
Iconic line
Oscar what do you think
They really picked away
At the Christina Applegate titles
But do you have one
This is the girl
From Married With Children
And she's in debt to me now
Is she
Yes
She's in debt to me
Is that
She's in debt to me
She is?
With Linda Cardellini.
But this is a TV.
That's TV.
You want movies.
Oh, I see.
Doug loves movies.
I get it.
Doug tolerates TV is another show.
It's a whole other show.
I don't know.
Doug loves TV more.
TV's so much better lately.
What has she done?
Yeah, that's a tough one
she had her own show
for a while
someone is just repeating
the sweetest
the sweetest thing
sweetest thing
we've established
sweetest thing
she wasn't in Mean Girls
no we can't
she wasn't in that
you can just pass
I'll pass
yeah
we'll get back to you
on the next one
alright coming in at number three.
Were you about to say it?
Anchorman 2.
The legend continues.
She was in Anchorman.
Yeah.
But Anchorman did not make her top three, the original Anchorman.
No, it was the sequel made more.
Wow.
Yeah, Anchorman was like Austin Powers
or some of the comedies that became popular on home video,
and then the sequel did great.
I got cut out of Anchorman, and they never told me,
and I went to the premiere with my friends,
and I've been saying, you know, I'm in this,
and this is exciting,
and I was Fred Willard's son, whom he keeps referencing.
Referring to.
Yes.
Oh, and my son did this, and I'm like, oh, any minute he keeps referencing. Referring to. Yes. Oh, and my son did this
and I'm like,
oh, any minute now
they're going to, you know.
Damage, Justin.
Eating popcorn,
really excited.
End credits.
I'm like,
maybe they saved it
for like a final little tag.
Maybe I'm in the post-credits scene.
Me and Nick Fury.
Surely someone would have told me.
I was a cop on a horse
that waved to them
when they were littering
and walking through the park
it wasn't even needed
did it but make it into that
you know
Wake Up Ron Burgundy
right do you guys
it's that
they released it on
DVD
like all the
there was like a whole movie
of cut footage
there was a lot
of Jason Schwartzman
and Heavy D
they shot
Maya Rudolph
they shot weeks
they killed all of it got cut out
they killed all
of those people
gone too soon
gone too soon
alright so coming
in at number two
is of course
I can't believe
no one got this
Alvin and the Chipmunks
Chipwrecked
the fourth
or the third
in the series
and then coming
in at number one
and Justin knew it because he's in it,
Alvin and the Chipmunks and Squeakquel!
Thank you.
Sweetest Thing was number four.
We just missed it.
No, that movie didn't do very well.
But Justin is...
Justin's got a hot start,
but anything could happen at this point.
Justin gets to go first in this next round,
so that's worked out okay for you.
Justin,
the films of Anna
Ferris. Okay.
Oh.
Oh.
What's this?
What do you think? Okay. Top
three. Go for number one if you can.
What's her biggest
movie? Shit.
Okay, number one, I would say...
Are you going to name any men actors?
Whoa, Oscar.
Time is not up.
Time is still ticking along.
You better be really careful, buddy.
It's a new era.
Scary movie.
I'm going to say scary movie.
I'm going to say scary movie two.
Okay.
Mr. Lynch?
The house bunny.
I just wanted to hear you say it To be honest
Justin's gonna have a great
David Lynch impression
When he leaves here
Orsker
I know who she is
I think
Orsker, Orsker, Orsker
She's a female actress.
She's a female.
She's one of those lady actors.
Oh my God, I'm so sorry, the Scott lot.
Oh, that's all right.
I don't know.
I don't know.
You'll still have as many points as several other people on the panel.
Go ahead, Clark.
Okay.
So she has a cameo in 22 Jump Street.
Okay.
And... That did pretty well.
Yeah.
I don't know if she was credited, though.
Yeah.
I'll tell you this about Box Office Mojo.
They don't know either.
I mean, they...
Okay.
They sometimes list cameos, sometimes don't.
It's a little uneven, so...
Okay. Then I'm gonna say
Just Friends
Okay
It might not have
Again these are things
That I guess are popular
On cable
Yeah well that's part
Of the thing
Is it's kind of a shame
That those aren't
Her top three movies
Any of those ones
Really
Could've gone to
Squeak Will again
Yeah yeah
You went Scary Movie 2 right
Yeah I should've
Yeah yeah yeah
Coming in number three
Scary Movie 3
Oh fuck Yeah coming in number two Alvin the Chipmunk's The Squeak Will Scary Movie 2, right? Yeah, I should know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Coming in at number three, Scary Movie 3. Oh, fuck.
Yeah, coming in at number two,
Alvin the Chipmunk's
The Squeakwell.
And number one,
just straight up
Scary Movie.
Ah!
No, no, no.
I meant Scary Movie
as well, too.
Yeah, well.
Like Teen Wolf 2.
You blew it, son.
But now.
I deserve that.
Yeah, but that was great,
because it's, you know...
I love that, you know,
it looked like you were going to run away with this thing,
because you know the chipmunks.
You are a chipmunk.
No!
How's that work in the first one,
in the credits,
it lists a guy who plays Alvin,
and then you also play Alvin.
What's the difference?
Huh?
Like, is the real Alvin, is there, like, a man Alvin? Like, a living person? Who's's the difference? Huh? Like, is the real Alvin?
Is there like a man Alvin?
Like a living person?
Who's in the suit?
The tiny little...
Or the...
Like, because Jason Lee's
the Dave Seville guy, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
There's a weird credit
for another Alvin.
Really?
On IMDb, yeah.
I know a buddy of mine
played Donatello
in the original
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle
and they had him do all... Leif Tilden.en they had him do all the he did all the dialogue and everything and
then they they dubbed his voice with I think Corey Feldman he was very
disappointed yeah not a great story but somewhat applicable all right
bad story Tourette's but you're in the lead still with three points.
Everyone else needs to get on the board.
We're starting with you,
Mr. Lynch.
The films of Zachary Levi.
Boy, I'm sorry.
He's just not hitting my radar yet.
It can happen.
Alvin and the Chipmunks the Squeak Wolf.
See, that's a great way
to play.
It's like you took
all this information
you've been getting
and went,
let's keep going with that.
I'm an adjuster.
It's that 20 minutes
twice a day.
Oscar, do you know
who this gentleman is?
He is a man.
Is he Shazam?
Yes, he is.
I'll say Shazam.
Yeah, Shazam.
Clark? I'm going to say Thor the Dark World. Ooh, that's a man. Is he Shazam? Yes, he is. I'll say Shazam. Yeah, Shazam. Clark?
I'm going to say Thor, The Dark World.
Ooh, that's a great one.
And then Justin.
I know him.
Huh?
I know this guy.
I've spoken to him.
Yeah, he's nice?
Yeah, he's very nice.
Very nice guy.
I saw him on Broadway.
Oh, on the Broadway.
He can sing.
He can sing.
Good singer.
Oh, no.
What happened? I know what the big movie is now. Oh, on the Broadway. He can sing. He can sing. Good singer. Oh, no. What happened?
I know what the big movie is now.
Oh, shit.
I thought you got all upset about that I saw him on Broadway.
I thought she was going to start crying.
She's got a voice in Tangled, I want to say.
That's what she just thought of.
Tangled, that's what you're going with?
All right.
Coming in at number four.
Shazam.
Shazam. What? Yeah, because it's been big. It's a good movie. Yeah in at number four. Shazam. Shazam.
What?
Yeah, because it's been big.
It's a good movie.
Yeah.
I liked it.
It's a little too recent to crack his top three.
Number three, Thor, The Dark World.
Yeah, so that's worth one point.
And then coming in at number two for Zach Levi, Tangled.
Yeah, so that's worth two points
for Justin. And then
number one, Alvin
and the Chipmunks.
The Squeakquel.
David Lynch is on the board
with three.
You see what happened there was I had no
clue and it just came to
me and that's
truly from dipping into consciousness
and smart that's it and we also know another legend that said positive energy
brodie stevens one of the true greats of this world
i really love how much you know about all the all the arts i got a lot of free time
all the arts.
I got a lot of free time.
Yeah, I saw that documentary where we just watch you paint.
Oh, yes.
And then I'll tell you,
if you want to beat the system,
what I do now is I just urinate in the sink.
And this is real.
Yeah, I go in the sink.
You don't have to go to another room.
You don't have to waste water
you're gonna turn that water on anyway all right i don't know about that but uh you know
i think uh you know i think you're great so maybe like he's not wrong maybe i've been wrong so far
yeah so yeah here we go do you do everything in the sink? Just urinate?
Mostly that, yeah.
I mean, you know.
A number two situation has to stay.
Nine out of ten times.
Good.
But the one out of ten is two.
You're not a math guy, are you, Doug?
Oscar?
Yes, sir? This is your chance man
you get the first crack
at this one
is it a fella
mhm
it's a dude
so it's right in your wheelhouse
the great Alan Tudyk
love him
you know Tudyks
one time in college Love him. Who is that? You know two dicks.
One time in college.
One time.
I don't know who that is.
I probably know who it is, but I can't remember. Oh, yeah, you're going to find out who it is.
Oh, yeah, that's who that is.
Oh, my God.
Why did I have to go first?
I could have gotten hints from the other people.
That's true, yeah.
Might not have helped.
All right, go ahead.
All right, we'll go to Clark.
I don't
think this is right, but
Rogue One
a no,
yes, that is
not so low.
Rogue One, a Star Wars story.
Okay. Justin?
I'm gonna
take a chance here
because he's such a great voice actor
and he's done so many great voices.
Not that he was one of the few
that didn't get his hands on that movie.
I'm going to say Wreck-It Ralph.
Okay.
He was fantastic in Wreck-It Ralph,
so I'm going to say Wreck-It Ralph 2.
Don't get me on your bullshit Doug I'm
saying wreck it Ralph to and you know what I mean oh okay well in your case
I'll make an exception and not ask you to say Ralph breaks the internet well
well what that one's no I don't want to slide by on a technique. It happens too much these days. I'm wrong.
That was so easy.
That was so generous.
I don't want to be on the wrong side of history.
You don't believe in participation trophies, do you? No, no.
It's got to be a winner.
Okay.
Who's next?
Where are we at?
Oscar?
Oh, okay.
Wait. No, you. Yeah, he went first. No, I went first. Didn't? Oscar? Oh, okay. Wait.
No, you.
Yeah, he went first.
No, I went first.
Didn't say anything.
Yeah, yeah.
All right.
So we have Clark said Rogue One and you said Wreck-It Ralph.
All right.
This is interesting.
I was trying to trick someone into saying Alvin and the Chipmunks, Chipwrecked, because
he's in that one.
Is he?
Yeah, he plays something called Simone.
I don't know if it's a voice.
No, I didn't know.
Maybe it's a voice of a lady chipmunk, Simone.
Oh, maybe.
Maybe.
But anyway, that's his number 10.
Whoa.
So that would have yielded no points for anybody, but he was in a Chipmunks movie.
Number three, Transformers Dark Side of the Moon. Dark of the Moon
or whatever the fuck
that was called.
And then...
Did he do one of the robots?
Huh?
He did a robot voice?
In Transformers?
I guess.
God.
He's a voiceover guy.
I can't picture him
live action in those,
so yeah.
He's a voice guy.
Maybe he was a car
that turned into a thing.
He just went...
He did that for all the Transformers.
Yeah, yeah.
Number two,
you're on the right track
with the animated thing,
but he has a voice in Frozen.
Oh, yes!
Oh, fucking Frozen.
Oh, boy.
Yeah, but Alan Tudyk's
number one is Rogue One,
a Star Wars story.
And that's worth three points,
which brings Clark to four, but Justin
has five, so Justin is our
winner!
Squeakwell
pays off again.
Who knew?
It really started to work in your
favor, and I thought it was going to work against you,
but I can't plan
everything.
Dog Dave Afternoon, come get your
prizes. Congratulations right here.
There you go. A couple
of bags.
Nicely condensed.
He wants signatures on the poster too.
Is there anything else we can do for you?
You want a foot massage?
Those will be easy to take off. Look at those fucking
feet on that guy. Jesus Christ.
Who knew?
That was an amazing laugh.
That means you haven't laughed once during the whole show.
Yeah, I finally got him by attacking his feet.
It's Tom Hulse from Amadeus.
It's like, if this guy doesn't talk about my feet,
I'm not going to laugh at shit.
There you go, Justin.
Sign the footman's poster.
While we're doing this, Clark, let's start with you.
Roll out your plugs.
What's happening?
What's going on?
You can catch me on DC Daily with Sam the Ma'am Levine on DC Universe.
And I'm in a movie called Satanic Panic coming from Fangoria that is out on September 6th
and Deathcember
opposite horror icon
Barbara Crampton
later this year.
Neat.
Thank you, Doug.
Thank you.
Oscar is going to sign the stuff.
This thing called Mr. Iglesias
just got picked up on Netflix. Oh, Mr. Iglesias just got picked up on Netflix
oh Mr. Iglesias
nice
he plays a teacher
I play the
the vice principal
who hates children
there's the tension
and the comedy
comes out of that
thank you
because he gets along
okay with the kids
he loves the kids
he loves them
and you come in
and you're the bad guy
I shouldn't be there
I shouldn't be working
with children
I'm the bad guy there's no reason for me to I shouldn't be working with children. I'm the bad guy.
There's no reason for me to be there.
And yet I'm there.
Yet I'm the vice principal.
Right.
As most vice principals are.
I've seen very few that seem to like working with children.
Except for the punishment part.
Well, Doug, I'm here to promote joy.
I'm here to promote unbounding consciousness.
I'm here to promote love in a world gone crazy
just north of Wilshire Boulevard
on Highland Avenue, everybody.
It's the David Lynch Foundation.
Catch the big fish.
The world can be inside of you.
We're all love.
We're all consciousness.
Come join our party.
Also, I have a coffee now, and we're giving a little join our party also i have a coffee now and we're giving
a little amount of that to charity but please get the coffee it's fantastic and roasted and
it gives me a little bit of coin to keep going around promoting this meditation
fantastic and you're always thinking about when the when the divine message comes to you for Twin Peaks Season 2, that's when it's going to happen.
Season 4, Douglas.
You tried to trick me near the end.
It's Season 4.
We'd be thinking about it, and the signal's unclear, but I sure hope it can come soon.
You've already done three seasons?
Well, we did the first two years ago.
Well, I'm a stickler.
You were right when you said I was not good at math.
Yeah, and you are a stickler, and I love that about you,
and I appreciate you being here.
You should put David Harbour in the new season.
He's fantastic.
That guy's good.
He came on the show once.
In Atlanta, right?
Don't know if it'll happen again.
David Lynch, you know everything.
Holy shit.
There you go, Dave.
There's your poster and your mug.
Chuck it, Adam.
And congratulations to you.
Congratulations, Dave.
Yeah, and Justin.
Safe Spaces out sometime in the fall.
Sometime in the fall.
Yeah, and you've got a movie playing at Fantastic Fest.
Yeah, you're going to be there.
I'll be there.
I go every year.
Yeah.
Austin, Texas.
I love that festival.
I will also be there.
She'll be there.
Okay.
What's the movie called that's going to be playing there?
The Wave.
And it's intense?
It's intense.
It's kind of like a run Lola run
but without a woman
so you're gonna love it
Oscar
nice
without a man
a white man
finally
a white man
running
and podcast
please listen to my podcast
Life is Short
Life is Short Podcast
yeah
welcome to the podcast, Life is Short. Life is Short podcast. Yeah.
Welcome to the podcast game. I
will be at Good Nights in
Raleigh, as I mentioned earlier, on August
24th, and I'm doing stand-up in Phoenix
on August 31st,
and Denver
on September 1st. You guys
know what to do to figure all that stuff
out. Thank you so
much for coming out tonight.
Thank you, UCB Theater.
Thank you, Clark Wolf, Oscar Nunez, David Lynch, Justin Long.
Thanks, Doug.
Thanks, guys.
As always, positive energy.
Thanks again to Blue Chew.
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Bye!
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you.
Cause Doug loves movies.