Doug Loves Movies - Justin Long, Steve Kazee, Alex Brightman and Seth Herzog guest
Episode Date: August 1, 2017Live from the Gramercy Theatre in NYC, Doug welcomes Justin Long, Steve Kazee, Alex Brightman and Seth Herzog to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privac...y Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds
With 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug.
And I love movies.
And I love movies.
You guys are right.
I gave you kind of a shitty cue there.
You weren't sure exactly where to come in.
Coming to you once again from the good old Gramercy Theater in New York City.
We're doing it.
It's still daylight outside, even though's uh whatever time it is 8 10
it wasn't my idea to wait till 8 10 we just had to get you guys in here it's monday july 31st
2017 and when it comes to name tags i can count on you guys.
Put them up! Put them up!
Look at all of these name tags.
Oh, my goodness.
So many.
But the creepiest one has to be Mystic Brian,
who is depicting a slice of pizza.
Stand up and show the crowd, Mystic Brian.
Look at this motherfucker.
Look at that goddamn piece of pizza.
How dare you sit in front of a stoner
being a giant piece of pizza.
Very unfair.
Rob ate?
Rob BB ate.
I get it.
Good job.
Liz is 40. Is that true?
Alright. Congratulations.
I saw this
one today on the internet. It says
Drewpool on it and it's got
let's see. Rob
Cattrell, Sam Levine,
Ia Cash, Mark Wahlberg,
John Hamm, Doogie Horner,
Trey Galleon, and Casper Van Dien.
None of them are here tonight.
That is, he took a wide swing and got a lot of people involved.
Thank God I'm here and you're here, dude, because that makes it legit.
Oh, and you got some donuts.
You should wait and hold those up with your sign in case any of my guests are still naive enough to pick a name tag based on the sign.
Also, this venue, the Gramercy, I don't blame them.
Yeah, you can put them down.
I don't blame the venue for not allowing people to just bring in their own alcohol.
That's probably not a good idea.
But somebody brought in a small bottle of Tito's.
And I want to give a shout out to this guy.
It's Justin.
And his name tag says, Justin, one of the guys.
There it is right there.
And this Tito is going to go to a good cause.
My stomach.
I'm going to be able to reload my own Titos
without having to ask for one during the show.
But thanks for bringing that,
and good luck in getting that shitty name tag chosen.
Oh, I have fun.
Doug plugs.
This Sunday, August 6th,
Doug Loves Movies is back in Los Angeles
at Meltdown Comics at 420.
Don't sleep on this one, LA.
I've got great guests.
What?
For reals?
It says here, my stand-up show in Oxnard, California, What? For reals?
It says here, my stand-up show in Oxnard, California,
has been postponed until January 17, 2018.
Yeah, sales were that bad.
Douglas Movies is coming to Cincinnati on Saturday, August 12th.
Columbus on Sunday, August 13th.
Tacoma on August 19th.
All of those are at 420.
And come on, Chicago and San Francisco.
My shows aren't selling great there.
I guess because, you know, summertime,
people want to be outside, right?
It's a tough time.
People want to have a summer.
As my friend
Howard Kramer would say. For all of my
dates, deets, and links, go to
Douglovesmovies.com
That's Douglovesmovies.com
Yeah!
Whoa. TJ Miller
and Pete Holmes would be proud
of that yeah right there.
Let's look in the prize bag.
I brought a little bag of stuff
that I've collected over the last few weeks
in my travels,
starting with a very exciting
Tito's Vodka Scarf.
It's beautiful.
Look at that.
Look at that.
It's probably handcrafted,
just like their vodka.
I bet you this scarf is also gluten-free.
We got a blue card from getting done with high.
We've got one of my CDs.
We've got a DVD of a motion picture I've never seen and don't want to
called That One Summer.
The memory of an exceptional summer in northern Michigan.
Ties a family's legacy together.
It's got Ernest Borgnine is in it.
You can't beat that.
I guess.
Oh, here's a little...
I was at a party where they gave out
a little bottle of bubbles.
And there's a bubble stick.
Yeah, they wanted people to just blow bubbles
at each other while you're sitting there
trying to enjoy an hors d'oeuvre and a cocktail.
And soapy bubbles are
landing in your shit.
Ooh, I got this at hotel room service.
It's a tiny Heinz ketchup bottle.
People like those for some
reason. I'll steal them every time.
I don't give a
fuck.
A pen I got at the Traverse City Film
Festival from a company or a place
called Copy Central.
So if you're in Traverse City, Michigan,
you need copies or a pen, go to Copy Central.
A mug that I got from my friends at My Free Cams.
Yeah, it's a naked lady's talking to lonely dudes
site.
And, oh,
this is neat. This is also from Traverse
City. Dried
cherries.
Yeah, I'm sure those were fine in my
luggage
in the bottom of the plane.
And the
pizzerias
of this particular, of the stuff
I brought, plus all my
guests,
all my guests
bought
some stuff.
The Christmas bong
from Peacemaker.
Yes, because it's never too early to get your Christmas bong on.
And I am hoping and planning to do 12 Guests of Christmas again this year here at the Gramercy.
Yeah.
At least one night of it.
I think we're doing two nights of it out in Los Angeles.
But I also hope to come back.
I'm not announcing that one officially tonight
because I hope to come back between now and November.
That seems so far away.
So hopefully I'll see you guys sooner than that.
And now, please give a big warm welcome to four...
Ladies, this is the night for you.
Because I've got four very sexy gentlemen waiting in the wings.
Please give a big warm welcome to Seth Herzog, Steve Kazee, Alex Brightman, and Justin Long! We did it guys, we did it
We did it
We finished it
So that's all we have to do?
You guys are totally out here on stage
You're a success
We did it
We made it
There's a new Fab Four in town.
Why are you laughing?
I think you should probably get used to that.
I think that's
a recurring theme in this show.
Audience laughter.
We'll see.
Oh shit, that's Les Miserables I was telling you about.
But he's not wearing the shirt.
Yeah, well.
And a different tag.
He's got a different tag, a different shirt.
But you remembered just a fat bearded guy?
Yeah.
There's a lot of them here.
Maybe that's not.
Maybe that's him.
No, don't do that.
Don't start pointing to people and saying, they're everywhere.
She seems like a very nice lady.
people and saying, they're everywhere.
She seems like a very nice lady.
Some of the comedy is for the listeners, you guys.
Don't turn the lights up on all those fat
fucks.
Fat bearded fucks.
No beard trimmer, not one.
Let's meet you guys
individually before we
introduce your mystery dates
that's right
it's now a hybrid
Doug loves movies and bringing people together
so
let's start with
Seth Herzog is here
yes
yeah I made it Seth Herzog is here. Yes.
Yeah.
I made it.
We last heard you on the show from Helium in Philly,
which of course was a gas.
And how did you fare in that show?
Were you the winner?
I don't remember.
Wow, that is a true competitor.
Just let it go immediately.
I get competitive.
I don't, I think I did win.
I don't remember.
I think you might have.
I think I won, yeah.
So welcome back, Chad. Thank you, I'm very excited.
It's huge.
We'll see how you do today.
I'm going to destroy these bitches.
I'm going to scaramooch every fucking one of these guys.
Every fucking one of them.
Will you do the Fandango?
I hear Scaramooch is going into the Great Comet.
Very excited about that.
It's a theater joke.
Thunderbolts are tightening.
Very, very frightening me.
Shut up.
It's the last time I want to hear from the audience.
All right, so yeah, good luck tonight, Seth.
Thank you.
Alex Brightman is back, everybody.
Hello.
My friend, the Tony nominee.
That's right
For School of Rock
Thank you very much everybody
Can you say what you were saying backstage
About what the next musical
Based on a movie that you might be seeing in
I haven't signed any NDAs
Okay we can't talk about it you guys
No I haven't signed any N non disclosure agreements
But I'll just give you a quick
If you don't mind I'll just
Go ahead and leak it.
He's going to be in a movie musical.
Nope, just musical.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
He's going to be in a musical...
That's a terrible leak.
...that's based on the movie.
It is based on a movie.
Sound of music.
No.
Last Man Walking. Last man walking.
Dead men walking.
I fucked it up.
I fucked it up.
But anyway,
we won't say what movie,
but I'm excited about it.
Me too.
All right, cool.
Wild Hogs.
I hope it's the sequel.
It's the sequel to
Puppetry of the Penis
That's right
It's Puppetry of the Vagina
Speaking of penises and vaginas
Steve Kazee is here everybody
Thank you, thank you
Thank you, thank you Shameless on Showtime
You may have seen him on that program
The Shameless
And he did one better than Alex Brightman
He won a Tony
I did, I did
Yeah, so the competition's already gonna be intense
Did you beat Alex?
No, different years Yeah, yeah the competition's already going to be intense Did you beat Alex? No, different years
Yeah, different years, oh my god
I wouldn't bring two people from the same year
on stage
like some sort of rematch
But Once was another
amazing, Once and School of Rock
were probably two of the only great
adaptations
shameless money grabs that turned out all right.
Both of those shows are touring without you guys in them.
Not anymore.
Oh, really?
No, Once is done.
Once is done forever?
It is.
School of Rock has not begun.
What about Community Theater?
No, Community Theater is still living a long life.
It will forever.
That's cool.
I'd see it that way.
I'd see a high school production of it in a fucking heartbeat.
For sure.
Same with School of Rock.
Do you ever think about going to a high school production
and just sitting in the front row?
I do think about it all the time.
Maybe not the front row.
Maybe more like outside in the bushes, but I think about
it.
I don't know which one would be creepier.
Sitting on the front row clutching your program.
This is so good.
Just heckling the cast.
Yeah, both of them are creepy. That's not how we did it.
Not how we did it.
Wrong.
This is Steve's first time on the show in New York City, I believe.
It is.
I'm bi-coastal now.
Yeah, so root for him, you guys.
And also, for the first time on stage in front of an audience,
so when he showed up tonight, he was kind of like, what is this?
Because we did a show
in what they call the bubble
at SiriusXM where
there's a smallish crowd
you know, 20-30 people
and some of you were there probably
and so was Justin Long!
Justin Long!
Thanks, guys.
I'm always happy to see that you're no longer a walrus.
Thanks.
I'm glad that you recovered from that.
Thank you.
Wouldn't it be funny if the rest of your career you were just hired to play walrus parts?
You just show up in that outfit.
Like SeaWorld. Oh, no. No, SeaWorld is ending, my friend. you were just hired to play walrus parts you just show up in that outfit like sea world oh no no sea
world is ending my friend this is not a not a time to get on board with them i saw an ad i was a
billboard when i was driving to san diego for comic-con that said uh it was just like sea world
has night dancing like they're just totally like fuck it. Let's stop talking about the fish.
We've got to start
selling this thing as something else and we've got to
do it now. Gambling.
Yes, that's a great idea.
Have some gambling.
So there's like a disco at SeaWorld?
It's like summer
nights or some promotion.
But there's no fish
on the poster.
I did follow up.
I would totally go to that.
Is the dolphin the DJ?
It's just the guy from Great America.
The old guy with the bald guy
dancing around. They hired him.
I'm starting to feel like
this is going to be an episode that will be hard for the listeners
to discern between the five of us.
What do you mean by that?
I was in a movie where I was a walrus.
That was me.
Don't do that.
It's confusing.
Both of those were Seth.
I have been a fan of Justin all the way back to Ed.
Was Ed your first?
Wow.
That's my favorite.
One of my favorite TV shows of all time.
You'd appeared in a couple, some things before Ed, right?
Before Ed.
That wasn't the very first time we saw you.
I did a Galaxy Quest before Ed.
Yeah.
Thanks.
And a movie nobody saw.
I'm sure you didn't even see it.
It's called Happy Campers.
That was a New Line movie.
No, I don't believe you.
Ask him about it.
Ask him about it.
Oh, yeah, what's it about?
You're right.
He's right.
He is right.
It's about Happy Campers.
You saw it.
All right.
I'm eating my words.
Yeah.
All right.
And then, yeah, and then Ed, and then, you know, all this stuff, you know, we don't have to.
Stop.
This is your life.
But I do want to stop on a couple of incidents.
You were at the fishbowl at Sirius XM.
And did you...
How did you do that?
I did pretty well.
I think I won.
It was Harrison Ford.
You remember.
Do you remember?
It was Harrison Ford.
Who is this?
Did you win the prizes?
You won the prizes for the person who selected you?
Yes.
And now you're about to... Funny story, I'm...
Re-gift. Yeah, I'm re-gifting the prize
that I won. Katie Freeman, who is often
in the front row with a crocheted
thing. She's turned into a box of donuts.
She wrote to me, yeah,
her spot is being saved by a box
of donuts. She wrote to me
on Twitter today saying it's finals week
wherever she is, as a
student or a teacher.
Because July 31st is always finals time.
She lives in Japan.
So she couldn't make it, but Justin is going to re-gift one of the most amazing name tag thingies that she made.
It's so cool, but it wasn't, and I got excited.
My girlfriend's a big fan of the movie
Alien, and so I
gave it to her.
And she
very politely
said, well, thank you.
But then, she's here tonight.
Practically, it goes
on your fate.
Did you guys make love in it before giving it away?
No.
It seems like a very...
That would be an interesting move.
Have you won it?
Stop sniffing it.
It will fit a torso.
But it's an incredible...
She made it, this girl.
Yes, and you wore it on your face for a brief...
For about a week.
For a while.
So that's your contribution to the prize bag tonight.
Yes.
Yes, so thank you for bringing that back.
Thank you for not mentioning it.
Apologies to Katie if she thinks that, you know,
she's sad that you don't own it forever.
I love it, Katie.
I just don't know what I'm going to do with it
except let other people experience it.
It's the kind of thing you've got to pay
forward. Yeah.
Hopefully the new owner will do something cool
like murder somebody.
Ideally.
Seth Herzog, what do you got for the prize bag?
I have two books.
I think... Oh, boring!
They're going to love it.
Alex Brightman, what did you bring?
You're going to love it. The first is the David Brent songbook.
So it's all songs that David Brent wrote
or would sing from the UK office.
Free love on the free land.
It's kind of brilliant.
And it's got the musics for piano, vocal, or guitar.
The plural of music is not musics.
Yeah, it is.
With an X.
Musics with an X.
Are these things that people brought to Jimmy Fallon that he didn't want?
Yes.
There's a free bin of books that people show up with that then I take from.
This one is Bruce Campbell's book, Hail to the Chin.
Yeah, I figured you'd like that. Yeah, we one is Bruce Campbell's book, Hail to the Chin. Yeah, I figured
you'd like that. Yeah, we do like Bruce Campbell.
So it's Bruce Campbell's
stories. It says, Further Confessions
of a B-Film Actor. So there you go.
Yeah.
So there you go. You can put that in your
little box. Yeah, give me that stuff.
Yeah, give it.
I want it. Thank you.
Alright, Alex.
All right.
These are some pretty cool prizes so far.
I brought a bottle of wine.
Okay, you win.
You're the winner.
They almost didn't let me bring in.
So there's that.
And it's cool.
It's like a comic strip wine.
All the best wines are.
I brought the third edition of the SAS Survival Handbook,
Ultimate Guide to Surviving Anywhere.
Saw it on my shelf, didn't know where it came from.
It's a heavy book.
Yes. Yep.
And then I'm giving stuff away that's in my house
because I just don't like clutter.
This is a show
that was on Comedy Central
that I did the first season of
called Important Things
with Dimitri Martin.
When I was a wee one,
I was on a couple episodes of this.
So there it is.
I think the DVD's in there.
I didn't even check.
It's frozen.
Yes, it is.
Yeah, I see it.
Okay.
It's frozen. Well, it is. Yeah, I see it. Okay. It's frozen.
Well, then I want that back.
I want it back.
You guys brought so many things that are also heavy,
and I don't have a bag to put them in,
so this is going to be interesting for the winner.
There's that word again, heavy.
Steve Kazee?
Yes, sir.
What do you got i have a little uh x-man you know uh blind
box so i don't know who's in here but it could be one of 12 different x-men um i brought you a happy
meal toy which is a minion gotta love a minion with that Happy Meal, you can also use this.
Where is it?
Wait for it.
$10 gift card to a McDonald's.
Ba-da-ba-ba-ba!
I know a lot of bearded guys that are excited about that.
Oh, and a fig bar, which I was going to eat, but I forgot it was in there.
So now you get it.
That's awesome. There you go.
And you brought a bag.
A Walgreens bag. Which was extra thoughtful of you.
That's absolutely right. But somebody
from the audience just handed me a little
tiny, this little thing,
and then you open it up, and this bag
comes out of it.
He was like, psst.
And he's like,
he's like, psst.
He's like my bag man.
So I'm going to put this shit in there
so our lucky winner won't have so much
trouble transporting all this stuff
back to Brooklyn.
That's so generous.
That big bag came out of a little...
Yeah.
I want that.
Do you just carry around nine little bags in your pocket
in case someone needs a bag?
You're like, uh, that's so funny you ask
because I have like a giant bag.
Or you have like a massive dog.
It's from like Neverending Story.
It's not really a dog. It's not a real dog. It's not really a dog.
It's not a real dog.
It's not really a dog.
Also, I called that a dog on an episode of the show,
and I got some heat, because apparently it's not a dog.
What is it?
It's a luck dragon.
Right?
It's a fucking dog.
A luck fucking thing.
A love dragon?
A luck dragon.
Yeah.
So you've got to be careful with that shit.
I'll try you.
That's my Falco impression.
Boom, bro.
All right.
Oh, shit.
Oh, yeah, I can put the wine bottle in this one.
Okay.
All bagged up.
I always use the self-service lane.
Get a lot of free shit that way.
Throwing some Reese's Pieces?
No one's going to know.
Maybe a tiny Tito's.
All right, I got questions for you guys.
Charlie Rose style.
Here we go.
Politics.
Let's talk about it.
No.
Starting, this is sad news.
Today we lost the great Sam Shepard.
Oh.
Yeah, and since we got a bunch of thespians up here,
I thought I'd ask you about if you've ever been in a Sam Shepard play
or seen one or been inspired by one. Let's start with Steve. thought I'd ask you about if you've ever been in a Sam Shepard play or
seen one or been inspired
by one. Let's start with Steve.
Yes, I was in Buried Child
in college. Pulitzer Prize
winning play. Pulitzer Prize winning play.
And then I directed
a production of True West in college.
Wow. Yeah.
Sam Shepard is my favorite playwright of all
time. So today's been a little bit of a...
Well, thank you for coming out on a sad day like this.
Yeah, that's intense.
I mean, I've always been a huge fan,
so I was not happy to hear about it.
And a hell of an actor.
Really underrated and sort of not known
by a lot of people to be a great actor,
but he's really incredible.
Oscar nominated once, though.
Absolutely.
Yeah, he got in there.
Turn down the cover of Time Magazine.
Oh, thank you. Oh, really?
But more importantly
Yeah.
Haven't we all?
But here's my beverage.
My beverage is here. Love the good drink.
A man is dead, Justin.
Jesus, cut your priorities
straight. I think he would approve.
He would approve of you having a drink.
Yeah.
Alex, what's your experience with a playwright?
I skipped seventh grade.
That's it.
No, I skipped seventh grade to do a play
at the Magic Theater in San Francisco,
which is his theater.
And then I enjoyed my experience,
but because of that,
I became an alumni of the theater.
You get to see the shows there,
and so I ended up seeing a production of a show
called The Late Henry Moss that he wrote,
and it was like Woody Harrelson, Cheech Marin.
It was like an alumni-only reading.
Nick Nolte.
Nick Nolte.
Nick Nolte,
and got to walk up to his table
as like a seventh grader
and tell him how much I loved his play
and loved his work and stuff like that.
So my mom texted me today,
remember when you met Sam Shepard?
That was very fun.
It was like a, you know,
I don't remember it, but.
That's nice.
Yeah.
I don't remember seventh grade either.
So.
Because you skipped it.
Whatever.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's right.
Something doesn't add up. I made that whole story whole story up I don't remember what I just said
the truth comes out eventually
you probably also skipped meeting Sam Shepard
it could have been
I'm not even sure who we're talking about
Sam and I met out in a bathroom once
was he on the Tonight Show a lot?
no
but we were just like at a party and just drinking a lot of Jack.
And he was like, you want to be a real man?
I'm like, yeah, let's just make out.
He goes, yeah, that's what men do.
Are you sure that was Sam Shepard?
No, it was a guy who said he was Sam Shepard.
It was Sybil Shepard.
A shepherd named Sam.
Yeah.
Oh, it was a dog.
It was the good shepherd.
Actual shepherd.
It was a German shepherd.
I'd seen a lot
of his plays in New York. I saw the
Fool for Love, the
Sam Rockwell version.
Sam Rockwell was great in that.
And I saw, actually in 96,
I saw Vincent D'Onofrio do
Tooth of the Crime at the
Lucy Lortel. That was a crazy production.
That's a crazy show.
If we're going to do this, I'm going to say it.
I saw John C. Reilly
and Philip Seymour Hoffman.
Which one did you see?
I saw the one where
one of them was mean and the other one was nicer.
They switched the roles
every night and I wished I could have seen
both versions.
It was that riveting.
Justin, what's your Sam Shepard story?
I did Suicide and B-Flat and True West in college.
But when Sam was doing, you mentioned Sam Rockwell doing Fool for Love.
I was up at Williamstown when he was doing it.
And Sam said, Sam Shepard was up there for a couple days.
I think he surprised them.
He came by to see
a dress rehearsal
and Sam said,
Sam Rockwell said,
hey, you gotta come.
Come over and see.
Shepard's here.
He's fucking here, man.
That's a perfect Rockwell
in case you didn't know.
That's a great Sam Rockwell.
It's a made up story.
It's just so I can do my Rockwell. No. Oh, I thought he was doing Rockwell in case you didn't know. That's a great Sam Rockwell. It's a made-up story. It's just so I can do my Rockwell.
No.
Oh, I thought he was doing Rockwell the singer from the old reference.
Norman Rockwell impression.
I do a great Norman Rockwell impression, too.
Norman Rockwell?
I do such a good Norman Rockwell impression.
No, so he was watching Samard come to this bar afterwards.
And he's going to be there.
It's fucking awesome.
So I went to see Sam.
And sure enough, Sam Shepard's there.
And he was watching, I think it was the World Cup.
It was some soccer match.
And he just did not want to be.
He was riveted.
And I didn't want to interrupt him.
And so I did not. That's a story about not meeting Sam Shepard.
Oh, I've got lots of those.
Oh, have you not met him too?
I have not met him.
Well, repeatedly through both of our lives.
But I texted those guys today because that production was, that's how I will remember him was that production was so good.
And I, it's one of my biggest regrets that i didn't see that true west uh yeah that was real good the sinise malkovich
pbs great performances is still just if you can find a video of that somewhere online it's it's
an incredible incredible watch those two guys very young but still like right in the heart of their
prime in true west it's unreal but Malkovich is the more intense one.
Yeah. I didn't know
that he had died. I hadn't heard
the news yet. My brother, my little brother, just texted
me a line from True West, which out of
context was so weird. It was like,
there won't be as much toast
tonight. There'll be a shortage of toast.
And I was like, what?
Did he have a stroke?
That's what it is, you smell toast
you smell burnt toast
when you're having a stroke
it's true
the first thing you want to do is text out
someone who's not an emergency vehicle
just a Sam Shepard fan
a toast themed text
but that was one of the crazy things about seeing it
with those guys
in the round.
Roundabout Theater Company, I think,
did it. And it was in the round
and they were really not
holding back
on when they're
hitting the toasters
with golf clubs. In the round.
And I was just like, how do they not have a
fucking toaster
not flying to somebody's face
some night?
And maybe they did.
It's possible.
I never really
followed up on that.
I should have looked,
I should have Googled it.
What would you Google?
Toast face?
Toast head True West.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think they've managed to keep him on stage,
but that was an amazing skill.
They're good golfers.
That's what I'm trying to say.
All right.
So the question I like to ask everybody on the panel,
and who did I start with on that last one?
Steve, let's start with you again.
What was the last movie you saw?
I'm trying to remember if i
i think it was ghost story uh yeah the one with freddie no the one with uh with casey affleck
and uh rooney mara uh it's in limited release yeah it's like an art house film uh-huh but it
was either that or planet of the apes i think let's just go with planet of the apes because i enjoyed that uh like beyond enjoyed that movie
really you got super into it i was so well first of all i'm like a huge fan of apes and monkeys in
general like i just was at comic-con and i spent the evening on a boat with crystal the monkey from
the hangover uh we had i literally that's like a special charter you can get yeah listen
i'm here i want a romantic evening it was sort of that way we like sort of stared into each other's
eyes for hours and uh my instagram is like littered with pictures and videos i'm just like in love
but uh well i so seeing that movie all i think the reboot of that franchise is just really
incredible anyway um andy circus is like next level and deserves an Academy Award now.
It's just phenomenal.
The people have spoken.
I thought Woody Harrelson was a pretty good guy.
Ten people really agree with you.
Give that guy covered in white dots an award.
I think he deserves it.
But that's the last thing I saw.
Very emotional movie.
I cried a lot in that movie.
All right.
A lot of monkey death, though.
It's heavy on monkey death.
I miss the TH part of death, I just say.
A lot of monkey debt.
I heard dick.
I heard dick.
Oh, monkey dick.
A lot of monkey dick, though.
There's a lot of monkey debt in it as well, but death as well, yes.
Oh, debt?
Both. The monkeys owe a lot of monkey debt in it as well, but death as well. Yes. Oh, debt. Both.
The monkeys owe a lot of money.
Yeah.
It's sort of like,
you know,
it's all about the economic collapse and Caesar loses everything.
And a shorting thing.
It's just like a yawn fest.
Yeah.
They're shorting bananas and things like don't go right.
Christian Bale's in it. It's really good.
Sounds like these bananas
were involved in a fronzy scheme.
That's the best I could do
with that one.
Alex, what was the last movie
you saw? I saw
the movie today. I re-watched
Her. I love that movie. I I re-watched Her. Oh.
I love that movie. I caught like about
40 minutes of that movie because
I guess it's running on HBO or
Showtime or something. It's on HBO, yeah.
Yeah, so I did, when
I stumble onto that movie, I really get hooked.
Yeah, it's become one of those
that you like, wherever it is, you sort of watch to the end.
It's the most sweetly depressing thing.
That movie's my cry for help movie.
Right?
Like when I'm real dark.
Oh shit, Steve's watching her.
We should maybe not let him be alone tonight.
If it's really dark, I'll Instagram that I'm watching it.
And I'm like, oh, watching her tonight.
Someone call me.
I have a big fear watching it, though.
Because I have close quarters with people in my apartment.
And there's lots of really simulated loud sex.
And I just really always want to just be like,
it's her, it's not a porn, it's her,
I'm watching a movie, it's a film.
Because it really does, you can hear guys like...
If you were just yelling, it's her,
they're going to think it's the girl you're with.
It's her, not me, it's her.
Not me, her.
It's her.
Keep telling her to shut up.
In the future, men don't wear belts,
just like the Trivago guy.
I also thought...
I didn't get that.
That guy creeps me out.
Yeah, now there's a Trivago lady, so Trivago guy's on suicide watch.
Tweeted it.
But that's a great movie.
That's good.
The music is great.
And Spike Jonze, like, whenever he does something, I like it very much.
Yeah, he's good.
A Spike Jonze joint, you like those?
And a Chris Pratt you didn't remember.
I didn't remember Chris Pratt was in the movie until I saw him.
Is he the buddy who works at the front desk?
Yeah, he works at the front desk.
I'm glad we got to the bottom of that.
Back when he played funny characters.
That's right.
Now he's just like, come here, dinosaur.
Come here.
Whoa, whoa.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Stop it.
I mean, seriously.
Is there a more... It's a really good Chris Pratt.
But is there a...
But Chris Pratt is one of my favorites,
and he's obviously amazing in the Guardians movies,
but that Jurassic World movie,
all he did was just...
He was just the guy to just run around and be like,
I can help with these dinosaurs.
There was nothing to his character.
He says, like, stay there, like, eight times.
Stay there!
Stay over there.
Okay, this guy knows what he's doing.
It was just like Star-Lord had a day job at Jurassic World.
Same performance.
Different costume.
Love you, Chris.
Worst lines, though.
Alright, so, you know,
here's hoping the Jurassic World 2 Lost World
colon
extinction event.
That'd be cool if they named a Jurassic Park movie Extinction Event. That'd be cool
if they named a Jurassic Park movie
Extinction Event.
You're just like, okay, good.
I'll go see this one because they're going to put it to bed.
Seth, what was the last movie you saw?
Brings Me Bear.
I saw Brings Me Bear last week.
Has anyone seen it?
A couple people? Go see it. It is great.
Full of heart and so funny.
Kyle Mooney.
Finally a movie where bears get a break in society.
Yeah.
Bears are showing.
You see what bears go through.
You're talking about large hairy gay men, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mostly shirtless suspenders.
Oh, that's interesting if it just gets that audience automatically.
This is not what I thought it was.
We see everything with the word
bear in the title.
The Care Bear. Because we are.
Exactly.
But, so they sat through a lot of shit.
They sat through Yogi Bear, they sat through
3D. The Bear.
Yeah.
Bad News Bears.
The Bear. Yeah. Bad News Bears.
Barely legal.
Even though it's spelled differently,
they'll still go see it.
What are we talking about?
Brings Me Bear.
Oh, yeah, I like that movie. Yeah, it's good.
I saw it at this Travis City Film Festival
I was just at.
And it's really,
it's just its own thing. It's like
very self-contained, like
a movie every once in a while comes
along like that, that's just like
it's inventive, and not
like anything you've seen before, and
really engaging. The tone is interesting.
Interesting tone. Yeah.
It's both very sweet, and there's lots
of drama, but it's very funny
in a very subtle way
and it's really neat
yeah there's like
you know F-bombs and stuff
yeah
but
and the story is fantastic
Kyle Mooney's amazing
yeah
Matt Walsh
in kind of a dramatic role
yeah
yeah
and Mikaela Watkins
yeah
anyway
yeah
and you know on TV
I will say this
I will go on record
I saw Walter Mitty
the Secret Life Walter Mitty
on TV
and I don't know people don't like it I Walter Mitty on TV, and I don't know,
people don't like it, I loved it.
Who doesn't like it? I don't know, I hear people don't like it.
It bombed at the theaters. People pan it.
I think it's one of the greatest films.
People didn't go and see it in theaters, but I think
it's an interesting watch. Oh, I loved it.
Yeah. Anyway. Yeah, if you like
staring at a watch.
I do, that's my jam.
I like staring at your Fitbit.
It's a curious movie.
How's it doing?
Good.
I'm up to like 7,000 steps.
Yeah.
Oh, I'm sorry.
8,300.
Oh.
Seth loves fitness.
I'm so into fitness.
He doesn't do it himself,
but he's really into fitness.
I'm so into fitness.
It shows.
Can he get a witness?
Too many.
Justin, have you seen any movies lately?
I just saw Triumph of the Will.
Sorry.
Wait, what was that voice?
Who was that character?
That was a Brigsby Bear voice.
It was like a teenage girl who just saw,
who loves Lenny Rift and Stahl. That's my impression of a teenage girl who just saw, who loves Lenny Riefenstahl.
That's my impression of a teenage girl who loves...
Oh my God, you guys have to see this movie.
I saw Dunkirk.
Yeah, it was incredible.
And I keep talking about it, and my girlfriend, and I'm like, and I say,
oh, you know, I don't want to give any spoilers.
And she's like, well, you know,
people probably know
what happened at this point.
In Dunkirk?
Yeah, you can, I mean, feel free to say that.
Nobody knows the characters are fictional.
Anyone could die at any point. It's suspenseful.
Yeah, that's true. No, I just mean generally.
Like, you're not sitting there going, oh, he's going to live, because he goes on to be president.enseful. Yeah, that's true. No, I just mean generally. You're not sitting there going, oh, he's going to live
because he goes on to be president.
That's true.
He's not like a young...
And then I saw Atomic Blonde last night
which was really fun.
Yeah, so fun.
Atomic Blonde?
Yeah, that's performing under
expectations and I just write that off
to straight up sexism
because it's
basically John Wick but just with
a lady and that's fucking entertaining
shit.
It's really fun.
Some of her hand-to-hand combat
scenes are incredible and she's
also still giving it up
nudity-wise. She gets
naked in it. She could say no
to that shit. She's like, ah, fuck it. She gets naked in it. She could say no to that shit.
She's like, ah, fuck it. Here are my tits.
Now I'm going to punch a guy in the throat.
For looking at my tits.
You saw it. You're ruining the movie.
Spoiler alert. That's an actual line from the movie.
And I'm going to punch a guy in the throat.
Stop looking at my tits or I'll punch you in the throat.
Does she talk in the throat? Stop looking at my tits or I'll punch you in the throat. Does she talk to the screen?
Oh, so she's Jamaican?
Stop me looking at my tits.
I'll punch you in the throat, man.
Stop me looking at my titties.
Stop me looking at my titties.
Yeah.
That's a really good...
I'd stop staring at your titties
if you put on a...
All right, so now there's no reason
to see Atomic Blonde.
Yeah.
Now if people go
and there's not a lot of Jamaican,
they're going to be like,
this movie sucks!
I was promised blunts.
Bumble clock.
All right.
My final question before all the questions is Steve.
Yeah.
You know what? Raise, anyone raise your hand
as soon as you have an answer because I'm springing this
on all of you, you're probably not prepared
for this, I'm searching for
a movie that is great
that I've never seen
so I'd like whoever is willing to take a stab
at naming a movie
that you think I will think is
great that somehow I've
missed and it's not that somehow I've missed.
And it's not easy
because I've seen
a lot.
Jeepers Creepers 2.
Jeepers Creepers 2.
The ones I haven't seen are for a reason.
It's amazing.
Are you in Jeepers Creepers 2?
He's the star of it.
He hasn't seen it.
Like a dream sequence. Yeah, you's one. He hasn't seen it. You haven't seen it?
Like a dream sequence.
Yeah, you're barely in it. Hold for applause.
No, I'm kidding.
I'm kidding. Yeah, I made it. I did a day on it. I did a day, yeah, a day and a half.
A day? A day on it. A day. He's in it.
I do a day. Don't go in there.
Why did you feel you had to do the,
or did you feel you had to do it?
I did, yeah. I felt like it was, yeah, he had given me this. Did the lady from the had to do it? I did, yeah. I felt like it was...
Yeah, he had given me this...
Did the lady from the first movie do it?
She did not.
I don't know why.
Ooh, this is drama.
Why did she...
I don't know.
I think it just wasn't...
Is she in the audience?
This character dreams about me.
I remember
and so I warned them
but I remember reading the script for the first time
and it said
I don't think I can tell this story
I just realized I can't tell this story
I'm so sorry
I can't tell this story it's about the director
we'll cut it out
yeah tell it we'll cut it out
nobody will tweet about it Yeah, really? Can you? Yeah, tell Ed we'll cut it out.
Nobody will tweet about it.
Is it really that bad?
I don't understand how it could be bad. The director was...
got into some trouble.
He had a really...
He had a past.
He had a past that was...
We probably shouldn't talk about it.
That's easily Google-able.
Yeah, yeah. He was a...
Yeah, he was...
Was the director...
Was the director Woody Allen?
I'm looking it up right now.
Seth, if you...
Seth, if you say it,
I won't get in trouble.
It's not even a great story.
Oh, he only fucked lots of kids.
I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I made that up.
I'm going to now find out if it's real.
I have no idea.
But your silence is saying
a whole bunch.
Yeah.
To answer your question, I was in the sequel
briefly.
Yeah, so no, to answer your question, I was in the sequel, briefly.
But yeah, I saw Jeepers Creepers 1, as it's now called.
And yeah, so that doesn't count as a great movie I haven't seen.
Has anybody got one?
The Best Years of Our Lives?
What's that?
It's like 1940s, Frederick March is in it.
It's about a guy who returns. Oh yeah, I saw that.
Oh, okay, never mind.
The Dude with Hooks for Hands won Best Supporting Actor Oscar for it.
Yeah, that's a very moving motion picture, yeah.
The only other DVD I was going to bring, but I didn't bring it because I like it, is The
Bone Collector.
Have you seen The Bone Collector?
Is this the Angelina Jolie movie or the porn version?
Yes
Yes it is
You like that?
Yeah
Is Denzel's in that?
I bought the DVD and it has stayed with me
in like six moves
That, Tropic Thunder
and Dimitri Martin,
except now it's gone.
Oh, but you're just thinking I might
not have seen The Bone Collector. Yeah, I don't know.
I don't skip a Denzel.
I'll pass on
a Jolie from time to time, especially
if she's behind the wheel.
But I said
no thank you to Sarajevo.
What about Good Burger? Didn't she make Welcome to Sarajevo What about Good Burger?
Didn't she make welcome to Sarajevo?
I'll drive around Sarajevo
What? Good Burger?
Angelina Jolie did not direct Good Burger
Are you sure about that?
Is Kel working because he must
Every Saturday he must cry himself to sleep.
They're doing another sketch show together.
Are they? That's awesome!
That's what I heard, yeah.
All I can say is, what up with that?
Okay, so
you're out of guesses, Alex. Seth?
How about since Jean Moreau died today, so you're out of guesses, Alex. Seth? How about since Jean Moreau died today,
have you seen Elevator to the Gallows that she's in?
It's great.
One of her best.
I might have to add that to the list.
It's a great murder mystery that she's in.
With deterrence, Green Street hooligans,
predestination, and a few others.
What?
Equal fucking Librium.
Yeah.
People love Equilibrium.
With Christian Bale?
Yeah.
Steve Kazee is making a no love face
for that movie.
That's like a Matrix bad rip off.
Oh shit.
No.
Equilibrium was before the Matrix?
No.
How could it be?
We're all in the Matrix.
Are you wearing two polo shirts on top of each other?
No.
Just one.
We will not trust a double polo shirt.
He asked because the collar is super popped.
It's really as popped as it can get.
That's probably the heat.
Even though it's 90 degrees, he does have a shirt on under it
in case you guys are wondering.
That's for perspiration.
He's keeping it together.
You would sweat more if you had two shirts.
It doesn't absorb.
This is going to become a roast.
Are you also wearing
cargo shorts?
Just checking.
I'm not getting a judgment on it.
I know.
Oh, you got some cacks on, though.
Yeah.
Casual cacks.
Can you suck your own dick?
There's a job just opened up in Washington if you can.
Oh. There's a job just opened up in Washington if you can. Oh, a little politics in the crowd.
I see, I see.
Is that the requirement now to get that job?
I just loved all that suck your own cock talk.
So good.
It's the best.
John Oliver did a great thing about it last night.
Everyone trying to say it.
Oh, it's so funny.
John Oliver's probably only watched by people who agree with John Oliver, but God damn it about it last night. Everyone trying to say it? Oh, so funny. John Oliver's probably only
watched by people who agree with John Oliver,
but goddammit, it feels good.
But anyone who knows John Oliver,
I want him to come on this show and yell
about movies.
I met him,
I saw him once in an airport, he was nice.
He's on my episode
of Jimmy G. Martin.
What?
Oh, all right.
He plays Shakespeare.
Of course he does.
Anybody else got one?
Justin?
Do you have another Philip Brimley?
I, I, you,
Laurel and Hart,
you like Laurel and Hart,
Flying Deuces.
You ever seen Flying Deuces?
Flying Deuces.
I bet I have,
because I saw all,
as a kid,
I saw most of the
early comedy stuff
because they'd actually play that stuff on TV
and no one was afraid of Black and White
because you were watching
a Black and White set.
You joined the Foreign League?
Yeah, I loved those.
You probably saw everything.
Yeah, I've seen it all.
Except for Equilibrium.
But I'm not convinced.
It's just the world's
assignment to convince me
of what movie's
going to be the next great one.
Somebody suggested two movies in one tweet
that I was like, god damn, if I had not seen
either of those, that would have been the answer.
But I had seen them both.
And those were The Diving Bell
and The Butterfly.
That's a great one.
And In Bruges.
Oh, I love In Bruges.
Both are amazing movies, not very fun.
Martin McDonough.
I went to Bruges just because of that movie.
I spent three days in Bruges.
Is everyone there sick of hearing about it?
Yes, but they also have
walking tours now where they take you around to all the famous spots of the film.
I mean, I'm telling you, this town, this guy knows.
He was there.
I thought somebody just pointed that they had been there.
Bruges? Nobody?
All right, go fuck yourselves then.
No, let's have...
I've been to Bruges.
It is exactly the movie.
It is that town.
It is a direct representation of that film.
And after three days days I was like
get me the fuck
out of Bruges
yeah
the doily
capital of the world
fucking Ray Fiennes
is so goddamn funny
and menacing
at the same time
Brendan Gleeson
is amazing in that movie
like is an incredible
Colin Farrell
is really
it's a great movie
so you know
hopefully everyone
listening has figured out
that I do this exercise
just to give them great movies to watch, because I've seen all of them.
Except for whatever Edgar Wright said a month ago I've already forgotten.
There's some Fellini bullshit.
Okay, who's the equilibrium smartass out there?
It's Polo.
The Matrix came out in what year?
Thank you.
Equilibrium came out in what year? Thank you. Equilibrium came out in what year?
So suck it.
Fuck you.
Matrix ripoff.
Fuck you.
They said it's a Matrix.
I love that, though.
That's a great argument, though.
It's just great that he just came right back with,
it came first.
You know, like, okay, well, I can agree with that.
But not now.
The truth comes out eventually, you guys.
It's just who wants to hear it.
Got political again.
All right.
This is a part of the show where my friend Bert Kreischer can turn it off
because I'm about to say, let the games begin.
Yeah.
What do we have to do?
Name tags, come out of the shadows.
Oh, my Lord.
Lots to choose from, you guys.
Good luck to each and every one of us.
I like how the balcony is mostly like, we knew we were getting here late.
So there's one I want to pick so bad.
So while you guys do that, we're going to do a brief break.
We're going to go to a commercial message.
We'll be right back.
That one right there.
Today's episode is brought to you by Room 104.
From creators and executive producers Mark and Jay Duplass comes a new anthology series called Room 104,
airing Fridays at 11.30 p.m. on HBO.
Set in a single room of an average American motel,
each of the 12 episodes in this season of Room 104
tells the story of the different assorted characters
who pass through it, all of them being everyday people
striving for connection and meaning.
With performances by James Van Der Beek,
Jay Duplass,
and Orlando Jones,
each episode plays like a mini movie,
ranging from comedy to drama to horror,
and offers a new discovery from one week to the next.
Hence,
the tone,
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Hey, we're back.
I love that...
I love that the two guys that are in Broadway shows
that are three hours long need to run to the restroom
during this
90 minute performance.
You hang on to them
over at your seat. What are you doing all the way
over here?
So we'll start with you, Justin, since
half of the panel is gone.
And tell us what name tag
you picked and why you picked it.
Okay, I got here, I have...
Yeah, I know, yeah, good.
We're all watching, good.
I got one here called Drew Pool,
which I liked it.
It was right here, It was really close.
It's very inventive.
We talked about it earlier.
It's got lots of former guests of the show
on the poster hoping to suck up to them.
None of them are here
and yet you still fell for it.
There's some food that came with it.
Yes.
Oh no, just a turd.
What? He shit in a Dunkin' Oh, no. Just a turd. What?
He shit in a Dunkin' Donuts box?
A human turd. He brought it down here?
That's disgusting. No.
It's donuts. They're donuts here. It's donuts.
Do you want to throw one into the crowd?
Doogie Horner. Yeah. It's a lot of fun.
Yeah.
Really? You want to do that?
It's super fun to throw a donut into the crowd. Why not? Oh, you want to do that? It's super fun to throw a donut into the crowd.
Don't throw that.
Why not?
He wants to save it.
Oh, you want to eat that one?
Yeah.
Okay.
That's fair.
There we go.
I'm going to hit this Aaron America.
Now he'll eat it off the ground.
Well done.
Disgusting animals.
Do you want?
Yeah, sure.
I'll chuck a donut at these people.
All right, go for it, Seth.
You guys have to eat.
Whoever catches it has to eat it.
Don't waste this donut.
Hit that Will Smith over there.
Oh, no.
Yeah, nice catch.
Wow, that went right into his hands.
I can hit that Will Smith.
Really?
I think so.
Hit Will Smith.
Oh, damn it! Oh, my God. You? I think so. Hit Will Smith. Oh, damn it.
Oh, my God.
You banged the dude in front of him.
Yeah, she caught it.
She caught it.
Nice.
That was a flesh hit.
Wow.
You could hear that one.
That hit so hard, we heard it.
Oh, my goodness.
Hey, I'm going to be honest with you.
This is one of those hard-ass donuts that nobody ever wants.
It's kind of like maybe cinnamon.
That's my favorite one.
Okay, hang on one second.
Yeah, by the way, do you think this is wasteful?
He needs his hands free.
People who need this food could be enjoying it.
Oh, shit.
Oh!
Nice work.
I don't remember which one.
Surprisingly, he's more of a jock. What's the name of the guy with the Will Smith poster? Nice work Surprisingly
He's more of a jock
What's the name of the guy with the Will Smith poster?
What's your name?
What?
Vince
That's amazing
That's great
But it's not from that movie
It's just a big Stan B of Will Smith
Smiling in a suit Stan B of Will Smith smiling in a suit.
The Legend of Bagger Vince. That is great.
It looks more like it's from Pursuit of Happiness.
Yes.
Alright. Now I feel bad.
I can't believe that guy wasn't picked. Why didn't one of us
pick that guy?
It's so good.
Who are you playing for, Seth?
Oh.
It's Liz's birthday.
Liz is 40.
So Liz is 40.
Yeah, congratulations, Liz.
So she did like a 40 thing.
But you're Paul Rudd on the bathroom, Doug.
Doug.
What?
You're Paul Rudd on the bathroom.
Oh, that's nice.
On the iPod.
Oh, I'm on the shitter?
Yeah.
That's nice.
And then a bunch of pictures of her and her friends.
Is that anything else?
Just pictures of you and your buds?
All right.
Where on Long Island are you guys from?
Seth, I didn't say do 20 minutes on the name tag.
It's cute.
And that's your little baby?
Hey, we need to stretch.
Talk about the name tag for an hour.
That was cute.
Is that your kid?
Aw, what's the kid's name?
Jacob?
I'm playing for Jacob.
Yeah, that's how sweet I am.
And cookies!
With M&M's in them!
And I can't have that much sugar,
so I'm going to throw them out one by one.
I'll throw a cookie.
Here, give me, give me, give me, give me.
No, the whole thing.
No.
I decide when you throw them.
Oh, so we're going to throw them later.
I decide.
Five second rule.
It touched the floor, but he's going to eat the shit out of it.
You're fine.
Eat that fucking cookie.
Yes.
I know the type.
All right. but he's going to eat the shit out of it. You're fine. Eat that fucking cookie. Yes. I know the type.
All right.
So who are you playing for, Alex?
I have the new Madea movie, The Green Miles.
Oh, yes.
The Green Mile is one of my favorite movies.
So that's why I picked it. Right, right.
But we should explain to the listeners
why you would call it a Madea movie.
Because the guy on the poster is black.
Yes.
And most Madea movies are like
another movie, but black.
If that's what you think
Madea movies are, that's cool.
I'm woke when it comes to Madea movies. Steve, what do you
got? I have got your high Nick. It's got some fancy lights on it. But I'll be honest with
you. I just made a deal with this guy. So if he wins, I'm taking that face sucker.
And I picked his poster.
So that's the way it works.
Whoa, that's a sweet deal.
Yeah, it is a sweet deal.
Yeah, I don't know why Justin's giving that thing up.
I don't know either, but I'm going to fight for it.
By the way, if anybody else wins, we can negotiate after the show.
But we're playing for his bro Frank.
Right?
No?
What the hell?
Shut the fuck up.
His brother Frank is a shithead.
Oh.
I fucked it up.
We're straight up playing for Nick because his brother's a shithead.
Sorry, Nick.
And fuck you, Frank.
Fuck you, Frank.
There you go.
Dick.
Save it, Alex.
Fuck Frank.
I'm trying to dig myself out of the Madea grave.
That movie is the best one.
Madea grave.
That's the best.
You're going to have to fuck Frank a lot more times.
I can't believe I blew that.
Madea's Pet Cemetery.
I need a fucking cookie now.
I would see that.
She should start just doing other existing movies.
Medea's Dunkirk would be amazing.
That'd be amazing.
You stop shooting at me!
Oh!
You done it now!
Of course you'd watch that.
I feel better now.
I don't want any part of this conversation.
I really want these games to start.
All right, this first game we're going to play tonight,
we're going to play a series of games.
The last one's the only one that matters, but still try.
And this first one, you know, I have a...
I dare say all four of you know a little bit about musical theater.
I'm not doing a whole episode of Doug Loves Musicals like we've done in the past.
Alex participated in that.
This is just going to be more regular,
but I've got to start with the game called Doug Loves Musicals.
Beautiful.
Yes.
I'm going to name out loud a series of, in no particular order,
songs from one movie musical.
Guess as often as you'd like into your microphones on stage,
and I will let you know when you hit upon the correct answer.
It was a film as well as a Broadway show?
Seth, this is a motion picture musical.
Okay, all right.
The origins of which we will not get into.
It could have been a musical on stage first,
could have been a musical movie right out of the gate.
But those are probably the only two things.
Not a lot of options, yeah.
Yeah.
But this one is a movie musical
and it has these songs in it.
It's got a song called Lovely Lady.
Sweeney Todd?
Guys and Dolls. First of all, we need the exact title. Sweeney Todd? Guys and Dolls.
First of all, we need the exact title.
Sweeney Todd, the Demon Barber of Fleet Street.
No.
Plus.
That's always a fun gag.
I wish Alex Trebek would do that.
You have to phrase it as a question.
Then they re-say it.
No.
What is?
Boyfriend is another song in this movie.
Musical.
Grease 2.
Great guess.
Incorrect.
Zombie Prom.
I'm not even going to dignify that one with a response.
Because it was so right.
Another song.
Love boat.
There's a song called love boat in a movie musical that is not based in any way on the TV series.
Love boat. movie musical that is not based in any way on the TV series Love Boat.
Wedding of the Painted
Doll is what sounds like a very
catchy song
in this movie
musical.
There is also a song.
Shock Treatment? That's not it.
That was a movie musical.
There's a song called
Truthful Deacon Brown.
Yeah.
Why would that be a song?
It's not...
Frosty the Snowman?
There's a deacon in that story.
It's fucking Parson Brown.
Oh, it's Parsonarson Brown not Deacon Brown
I thought it got promoted
promoted
oh uh
The Preacher's Wife?
no that's not a musical is it
she sings in it
this has the song You Were Meant For Me in it
I don't know if even the audience
knows yet
this is a tough one.
All right, I think I got one more left.
I have to have a good look at you guys,
see who jumps in first.
Because often what happens in this game
is that the last song I say
is also the title song.
The final song that I'm gonna mention
from this movie musical is
Broadway Melody.
Broadway Melody.
How can you tell who's talking?
Full title.
Broadway Melody of 1942.
Broadway Melody, the musical movie.
Broadway colon melody.
Wait.
I have it.
Broadway colon melody exclamation point. That's how we do it on Broadway
Broadway melodies
Justin do you have a guess?
The exact title
MGM's Broadway melody
Tyler Perry's
I'll give you a clue
It does begin with the letter T
Those Broadway melodies Them Broadway melodies I'll give you a clue. It does begin with the letter T.
Those Broadway melodies. The Broadway melodies.
Them Broadway melodies.
That Broadway melody.
To Broadway.
That old Broadway melody.
Yay.
Terry Garr's Broadway melody.
Turn out.
There's just one.
There's just one BM. The Broadway melody. Turn out for the Broadway. There's just one BM.
The Broadway melody.
That's correct.
All right.
You were dancing around with these, those, that.
No, the.
I didn't say that.
The Broadway melody is the correct answer.
From 1929, some say it was the first musical ever made
because it has music throughout it
whereas the jazz singer just had musical
Who says that?
parts.
And it won the best picture of 1929
with the Oscars.
And so somebody deserves a cookie.
They didn't have M&M's in 1929.
Yeah. That was awesome.
Fitbit's gonna eat that floor
cookie.
Because I fucking walked it off already.
How do you explain that?
This couple worked as a team to catch that cookie.
Yeah.
It was very...
The cookies are very good, by the way.
Inspirational to me.
So you bake them?
It's your birthday and you bake cookies?
No, it's her birthday.
Oh, that's nice.
They're really delicious.
Nance.
If it's on the floor, you have to eat it.
You're required to eat it.
Yep.
It's very good.
None of you have coordination.
Yeah, eat it.
It's under the seat.
Floor cookie!
Floor cookie!
Alright, this next game
is called Whose Tagline Is It Anyway?
Yeah!
Whose tagline
is it?
It's the musical episode.
Since Alex
won that game, he gets to go first.
And then we'll go
to Seth and then
to Justin
and then to Steve.
I'm going to say a tagline
from a motion picture to you,
Alex. You're the only one in this entire
auditorium who gets to guess.
If you don't get it right, we move on to Seth.
Got it.
What movie has a tagline?
Welcome to a world without rules.
I'll give you a hint.
It's not Cider House Rules.
Camp Nowhere.
Oh, I like that.
But I think they had rules there.
Even though they weren't in a fixed location. Some rules.
Seth?
Jesus Christ. Yeah. Welcome. Seth yeah
welcome
I'll say it like Jurassic Park
welcome
to a world
without
rules
can you use it in a sentence
the welcome to the
I think that is a sentence.
The purge.
Oh.
I know it's not right, but...
Not bad.
That's good, though.
It's a decent guess.
24 hours and no rules.
That's true.
Yeah.
Justin, do you have any idea?
Not dune.
Dune?
Dune.
Are you just saying that just because the whole thing didn't make any fucking sense?
He meant the filmography had no rules, like the way it was made.
Ender's Game?
Wait, how many guesses do you get?
Running Man.
Stop it.
Steve?
Equilibrium Welcome to a world where everyone
Falls down
Starring Michael Douglas
Is that the whole movie?
Whoa
He was in a movie called Falling Down
But the correct answer to Welcome to a World Without Rules, there were other taglines for
this movie that were more obvious and clear, like Why So Serious?
But this film was, in fact, The Dark Knight.
Ah.
Yeah.
I was going to say Inception, which I would have been close.
That would have been, yeah.
That would have been as close as you can get without not really getting anywhere near.
Right, right, right.
Something's in those cookies.
All right.
Alex starts us off again on the next round.
All right.
They keep coming back in a bloodthirsty lust for human flesh.
One more time.
They keep coming back in a bloodthirsty lust for human flesh.
Night of the Living Dead.
That is correct.
Yeah!
Floor cookie.
I'm just going to keep throwing cookies at you.
Never been happier to be thrown.
That is correct.
I had to put that one in there.
Because George Romero, rest in peace,
he was a great...
He was the
inventor of the zombie film,
which has brought me many hours of pleasure.
But that means
Alex is on the board with a point
and now we'll start with you, Seth.
Oh my lord, I'm burning over.
Finish that goddamn cookie.
What movie had the tagline,
Witness the beginning of a happy ending?
I'm going to say it's something like The Burbs.
You're going with The Burbs?
Yeah.
It's a comedy.
When did that movie come out?
87?
Yeah, something like that.
You think they're making happy endings jokes?
Oh, I get it now.
So it's like a dirty entendre?
Oh, is it?
That's what you're saying.
I didn't pick that up.
All right, Justin?
Knocked up?
Oh, that's not bad.
Steve?
Equilibrium?
No idea.
Alex? Zach and Mary make a porno?
Oh.
It better not be.
That would work.
Someone's in it.
I'll be pissed.
That was one of the
wacky taglines for
the great motion picture
I like it a lot.
Called Deadpool.
That was for Deadpool.
Yeah, they had a lot of fun with their
taglines.
Kind of dirty.
Alright, back to you, Seth.
Yeah, here I am.
Oh, this is like perfect for you.
I can't wait to see what you mean.
This tagline goes,
some people get all the breaks,
others just get broken.
Oh, yeah.
That is perfect for me.
Some people get all the breaks,
others just get broken.
Some people get all the breaks, others just get broken. Mm-hmm.
So far we have The Dark Knight, Night of the Living Dead, and Deadpool.
Yeah, I'm getting your theme here.
Night Hawks.
Justin.
Good guess.
Broken.
They just get broken.
It's not this, but breaking?
Breaking two.
Full title.
Electric Boogaloo.
No.
Do you want another cookie, Justin?
These like fall apart in your hand.
I've had that problem, but I'm sure they're delicious.
Whose turn is it?
Steve's Oh my god
Steve
Oh god
So far we have the Dark Knight
Night of the Living Dead
Deadpool
Right
And
So it's a pool
I just figured that out.
How do I not know any... What was that?
Pool, pool, pool, pool, swim, swim pool.
Oh, I think Sam Shepard wrote pool for love.
Pool for love.
Oh, very good.
God, I don't know.
The pool cleaner
nope
okay
Alex
I don't know
I'm gonna guess
pool boy
no
Seth
pool
exclamation point
um
no I don't
I don't
Justin pool hall junkies that's correct oh fuck Exclamation point. No, I don't. Justin?
Pool Hall Junkies.
That's correct.
Oh, fuck!
I was just going to keep going around until somebody figured it out.
Because they break.
All right, so this is just between Justin and Alex.
We'll start with you, Alex, then we'll go to Justin.
This is the tiebreaker.
The first person to give me the correct title of this one is the winner.
Of what a girl did.
I know, right?
Of what a boy did.
Of ecstasy and revenge.
What do you think that is, Alex?
So far we have The Dark Knight,
Night of the Living Dead,
Deadpool,
Pool Hall Junkies,
and...
Hit it with the tagline one more time
what
junkies
the tagline one more time
of what a girl did
of what a boy did
of ecstasy
and revenge
Indian in the cupboard.
I have no fucking idea.
That was right into that motherfucker's hands.
Great catch.
Great throw and great catch.
Yeah, right into the hands of DJ Vestnoe Sleeves.
Stand up, DJ Vestno no sleeves. Stand up, DJ Vest, no sleeves.
Turn around.
Perfect description.
Is that Diplo?
No, it's DJ Vest, no sleeves.
Pay attention.
Justin? Justin?
Chunky.
Chunky.
Queen of the desert.
My big fan Chunky
I don't know
recommend for a dream
no
the answer is
East of Eden
pool hall junkies
East of Eden
pool hall junkies to Eden
yeah so we've got the dark night
of the living dead pool hallunkies to Veeden. Yeah, so we've got The Dark Night of the Living Dead,
Pool Hall Junkies to Veeden.
Yeah, that's a Build-A-Title inside of a Pooh's tagline.
Oh, give it up for Doug Benson's brilliance.
Someone on Twitter suggested I do that,
and then that guy got a cookie.
Oh, maybe not.
Eat it.
Maybe not.
Yeah.
That guy looked like he wasn't much of a catchphrase.
People that come to these shows in New York, they know I get it.
I put it right in their hands.
He's the one that fucked that one up.
Yeah, he dropped it.
The only thing more humiliating than having somebody toss you a cookie and say,
that guy gets a cookie, has to be just dropping it.
That's the only thing. It's not humiliating
at all if you catch the fucking
cookie and then you eat it. That's
the best moment of your life.
How'd you get it back?
From all the way on that
floor? Those are the best cookies are the floor
cookies. He used the force.
He's in the like kind
of balcony section.
I thought it went all the way to the ground below him,
but he got it, and he feels good about himself.
We really need someone to help us out with this next game who feels good about themselves,
because we're going to play Last Man Stanton.
Oh, Lord.
We're going to play Last Man Stanton.
Oh, Lord.
This is where someone in this audience who's been pre-selected is going to give us
the name of an actor or an actress,
and we're going to take turns naming movies
that person has been in.
If you can't think of one, you're out.
But you can go to your lifeline,
which is the person whose name tag you chose.
You can go to them once.
I recommend going to them early. People don't follow my recommendation. And I play along
because it's fun for me to participate and I don't know what this person is going to
tell us to play tonight. Where is Bed-Stuy Bear Guy?
Bed-Stuy
Bear Guy.
Oh, Beer Guy?
Then I guess it's not you.
The guy in front of you is more of a Bear Guy.
Bed-Stuy
Beer Guy.
Get up for the Bears.
Bed-Stuy Beer Guy. So you live in Bed-Stuy?
And you're a Beer Guy. Get up for the bears. Bed-Stuy Beer Guy. So you live in Bed-Stuy, and you're a beer guy?
Thanks for coming by.
And you get to tell us the name of an actor and actress that we will play tonight, hopefully, if it doesn't.
Let me just say, before you say it,
that in an unprecedented move on my part,
I have also chosen a backup audience member
to go to if we don't like this name.
Because all five of us have to agree on this.
We could be here for a while.
You might get fired.
I only have one backup.
What do you got for us, Bed-Stuy beer guy?
Jackie Chan.
Jackie Chan. Jackie Chan.
DJ Sleeveless is very excited about the choice of Jackie Chan.
Why are you so excited about that?
I have...
Here you go.
Here's a Jackie Chan cookie for you.
Oh, wow.
Right in that guy's face.
Should have opened his mouth.
If you'd have just opened your mouth.
We've voted a lot of...
Oh, look at that guy, gentlemen,
standing up for that lady.
You get a cookie.
Yeah!
Give little Jared Kushner.
Look at that. Right in the hand Of the girl in front of him
Wow
One handed
That was fucking smooth
That was amazing
That was so Jackie Chan
That was smooth as fuck
Oh shit
Behind him
In front of him
This guy cannot win
Oh you got it
Okay you got it
That was like
Kurt Russell
Big Trouble in Little China
Catching the knife
Yeah
You should have
Tossed it back at Doug
Jackie Chan movie
Hard
Title of which I don't know.
That cookie did not make it to the glass ceiling.
You took it down, lady.
What do you think about Jackie Chan?
You guys feel good about Jackie Chan?
Hard pass.
It's going to be out.
Yes.
We'll be out of here quick.
Alright, alright, alright.
Hey ladies, where is
Where is
Andrew C.
Katz?
Hey dude. You guys look like you're
related.
What's up man?
I didn't ask you yet
for your shitty name.
Your terrible name.
So much better
than Jackie Chan.
All right,
Stanley Tucci?
Jackie Chan it is.
No, you know what it is?
We are going to play
the films
of Jackie Chan and Stanley Tucci.
Yes!
So either one works.
And we're going to get out of here at a reasonable time.
Because this is not the easiest.
Yeah.
And there might be some contentious answers.
Mm-hmm.
But we'll see how it goes.
All decisions are mine.
Starting with...
Oh, shit.
Does anybody have a coin on stage?
Give me a coin if you got one.
Rambo has one.
It's not a cookie.
You can't flip a cookie.
Yeah.
I mean, you can, but...
Oh, look at that.
Thank you.
Stage manager Rainbow came up with that.
All right.
Alex, call it in the air.
Heads.
That's what it is.
So Alex is going first in this game. Also, have the air. Heads. That's what it is. So Alex
is going first in this game. Also,
have the penny.
That's right. I threw it right
into his glass. You can't
steal Rambo's penny.
It's going to be nice and shiny
now that it's had a little bath and some vodka.
I'm going to be
real sick.
Oh, is that what happens?
You put a dirty penny in your drink?
I've never had it with vodka.
You know, Cosby started with dirty pennies,
and he worked his way up to...
To what?
Too soon.
This is a late-night comedy show.
Deal with it.
All right, Jackie Chan and Stanley Tucci comedy show. Deal with it. Alright.
Jackie Chan and Stanley Tucci.
Starting with Alex
and we'll flip the order. We'll go to
which way were we going before?
We'll go Steve and then me
and then Justin and then Seth.
Name any movie that's got one of
those two in it. If you can't think of one,
use your lifeline by all means.
Rush Hour 2. Alex. Rush hour two.
Alex says rush hour
two.
Interesting
answer from an interesting player.
Alright.
Seth?
Oh, I thought we were going the other way. Oh, we are? Steve?
Rush hour.
Yeah, that seemed like an obvious...
Stanley Tucci was in both Russian...
He was.
I'm going to go with one just because I finally...
I had never seen it.
I watched it on HBO recently.
So I have to go with The Tuxedo.
Oh, fuck!
Fuck!
He's that mad about that.
People yell fuck a lot when the tuxedo comes up.
Justin?
Annie? Stanley?
Shanghai Noon.
Have you ever worked with either of those guys?
Owen Wilson?
Wait, what?
Have you worked with Owen Wilson or Oliver Platt?
No, I worked with them all.
No, Jackie Chan or Stanley Tucci?
No.
No Tucci in your life?
No Tucci. Never got Touched.
He's a good actor.
Touched by an angel.
Touched song trilogy.
Scaratucci.
Hey.
Timely.
Seth?
The devil wears Prada.
Oh, okay. Don't say it like such a
in a bitchy way. Come on.
The devil wears Prada. That's the way you such a bitchy way. Come on. The devil wears Prada.
That's the way you have to say that title.
Duh.
The devil wears so much Prada.
I can't believe...
The doll wears Prada.
You guys, gird your loins.
Alex? Alex Julie and Julia
oh
duh
I like that
that's a good one
yeah what's up now bitch
that's a solid move
Steve
don't forget about your lifeline out, bitch. That's a solid move, Alex. Steve,
don't forget about your lifeline.
Shanghai Nights.
Yep.
Also, don't forget about sequels.
Oh, speaking of nights, I'm going to go with Big Night.
Yeah, great. Tucci and what's his name? Oh, speaking of knights, I'm going to go with Big Knight. Woo!
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, great Tucci and what's his name?
Monk.
Shalhoub.
Tony Shalhoub.
Someone gets a cookie for Monk.
Sorry, ladies.
Justin? Hunger Games? The Hunger Games? Justin Hunger
Hunger Games
The Hunger Games
is that your final answer
yeah
yeah
yes
that's correct
Jackie Chan
you gotta be careful
with these movies
with sequels and stuff
you gotta get the right answer
yeah
exact title
Seth Rumble in the Bronx yes movies with sequels and stuff, you gotta get the right answer. Yeah. Exact title.
Seth?
Rumble in the Bronx?
Yes!
Like,
that's not a thing? You said it the same way you said Devil Wears Prada.
Rumble in the Bronx.
R and the B, dude.
Alright. Alex? All right.
Alex?
I'm afraid that I was too drunk to think about this,
but Rush Hour 3?
Yeah.
Did I say it already?
Wow, that is wild.
We let that go for so long.
Rush Hour.
Aye, aye, aye. Steve? Rush hour Steve
The Hunger Games
Catching Fire
Oh nice
Oh my god
I might lose it right here
I'm not going to take that chance
Because I don't know
Exactly what they're called So I'm not going to take that chance. Because I don't know exactly what they're called.
So I'm just going to go
another way with it and
say
Stanley
Tucci in
The Core.
Justin. Charlie. Just do.
Charlie, Jackie Chan.
Charlie Chan.
It's an old timey joke.
It's a time traveler joke.
Around the world in 80 days.
Yeah.
With Arnold.
Arnold the world in 80 days.
Seth?
I'm going to see if Liz knows one.
Oh, we're going to his lifeline.
Liz, what do you got?
She's 40.
She's got to know some Jackie Chan, some Tooch.
Oh, shit.
Wow, the whole row is discussing it.
Yeah, it's a whole thing now.
Yeah.
Spit it out, lady.
Hunger Games Mockingjay.
Hunger Games Mockingjay.
She's going Hunger Games Mockingjay.
Full title.
Yeah, what do you think, Seth?
What do you think?
Is that what you want to say?
It's not Hunger James Stop Mocking Jay?
Alright, you get a cookie for that, Seth.
Like a bird.
Do you have the full
title, guys?
No? Yeah, that's a tough one. You have the full title, guys? No.
No?
Yeah, that's a tough one.
Hunger Games.
The Hunger Games.
Mockingjay. Mockingjay.
No?
That's all you got?
Yep.
You're out.
Oh!
Sorry.
At least I got a cookie.
Sorry about it.
Thank you, Liz. You killed it. Don't say it, least I got a cookie. Sorry about it.
Thank you, Liz.
You killed it.
Don't say it, you guys.
I know everybody knows what's going on here.
Let's see what Alex is going to do with it.
I'm using my lifeline.
Okay, lifeline.
What do you think, Alex's lifeline?
Hunger Games Mockingjay Part 1.
Hunger Games Mockingjay Part 1.
Do you agree with that, Alex? I do agree with that.
Alex, that is correct.
Yeah!
Thank you, Lyle.
Steve?
The Hunger Games Mockingjay Part 2.
That is correct.
Tag team.
My next Jackie Chan answer
is going to of course be Cannonball Run
Hunger Games Part 3 Season of the Witch
No, that's not my question
That was just another nurture
I'm going to go Stanley Tuch
in Beauty and the Beast
Yes
Taylor's oldest Biggest movie of the year I think Beauty and the Beast. Yes!
Biggest movie of the year, I think.
Biggest Tucci movie, anyway.
Oh, yeah, it's definitely the biggest Tucci.
Biggest Tucci of all time.
I loved him in
Tucci of Evil.
Ooh, Toochie.
Isn't it your turn, Seth?
I'm out, apparently.
Oh, yeah, sorry.
Because I missed part one.
I apologize for rubbing it in.
Alex?
I really have no idea if he's in this movie. There's a part of me that thinks he is. I apologize for rubbing it in. Alex?
I really have no idea if he's in this movie.
There's a part of me that thinks he is,
but I've been confusing with Mark Strong the entire time.
Which one did you confuse? He's so flat.
Jackie Chan and Mark Strong.
No, Jackie Chan and Mark Strong.
Is he in The Kids Are Alright?
Do I hear people saying yes?
I thought I heard a resounding yes.
No, no.
Well, then I'm out.
But being here was winning.
You know what I mean?
Thanks, everybody.
I loved you and accepted.
It's about time!
Someone had to say it.
Someone had to say it.
Trusting the elephant in the...
Mind games.
I have, tattooed on my back,
it says, ask me about my wiener.
It's on my back, though.
You know, acceptance is the fifth stage of death.
You know what a guy once said to me?
Yo, for real, Acceptance is my favorite movie.
And I said, it can't be.
It can't be.
No way.
You got the title wrong.
It can't be your favorite movie.
It can't be.
What did he call it?
So then I call it Acceptance.
Sometimes I'll correct people and I'll say, oh, you mean Acceptance.
And they'll say, and I sit and register, it was accepted.
He must know. He was in it.
He must know.
If you won an award for it,
you'd have to give an acceptance speech.
Steve?
Nick.
I'm going to go with Nick here.
Lifeline
Jackie Chan and Kung Fu Panda
Kung Fu Panda
Animated voices count in this
I guess so yeah
Kung Fu Panda it is
Alright
I forgot that he was involved in that
Since it's my turn
The only respectful thing to do
is say
Kung Fu Panda 2.
Electric Boogaloo.
Whole title? Isn't there a longer title?
Nope. I believe there was a
third Kung Fu Panda. What's it called?
3D.
Kung Fu Panda
3D.
No. If it's not right, what are you going with? What? 3D Kung Fu Panda 3D 3
No
Is that my
If it's not right
What are you going with?
What?
Exact title
Alright I'm going with my lifeline
3
Kung Fu Panda 3
Yeah that's right
I'll have to use a lifeline for that
Yeah they didn't fuck around
With those Kung Fu Panda movies
They're like
This is the next one
It's the next number.
We're done.
That's all we need to let you know about.
I don't have to fucking throw in extra words.
Let's search for Panda's gold.
Where are we at?
Steve again? I'm on a limb here. He's back to you already? I'm out on a limb here. Where are we at? Me, I think.
Steve again?
I'm on a limb here.
He's back to you already?
I'm out on a limb here.
I thought I just said...
No, Justin.
These two guys are out.
Justin just went.
What did he say?
Kung Fu Panda 3.
Oh, yeah.
Are you having a stroke?
Nope, just enjoying myself.
a stroke?
Nope, just enjoying myself.
Not dwelling on the details, man.
Oh, God.
I feel like he was in this movie with Oliver Platt.
And I believe...
I believe...
Oh, I want to be right about this.
I believe it's called The Imposters.
Okay.
I'll take it.
Jackie Chan, of course.
Yeah.
Well, you can't talk about Jackie...
Is it my turn?
Yeah.
You can't talk about Jackie Chan
without mentioning The Drunken Master.
Ooh.
Did I use my lifeline?
Someone said full title.
Is there more to it?
Oh, it's The Legend of?
Really?
All right, then I'm out.
Damn.
Justin?
The Drunken Master 2?
Is there?
The Drunken Master,
The Legend of the Drunken Master.
Ew.
No?
You know what?
Yeah.
Yeah?
Can I use my lifeline?
Yeah.
Oh, I just thought of another Tucci, I think.
But too late.
Use your lifeline.
Do you have anything?
Oh, he did?
Well, he got confirmed the three.
He got confirmed the three.
He verified.
He didn't really use.
I can't believe.
Yeah, I can't believe you wasted it on that.
I know.
Yeah.
So you got nothing else?
Yeah, I do.
Are we giving this to Kazee?
No.
Is Stanley Tucci in A Midsummer Night's Dream?
Oh, yeah.
Whoa.
From the top of the key.
Like an Oberon, right?
Puck.
No, he was Puck.
What did he play, Puck?
Puck, I think.
It's a hockey movie?
Yeah.
All right, Steve.
This is for all the business.
We need you to win because we already know that Frank's a shithead.
All right, I have two choices.
Oh, shit.
Tooch choices?
I've got tooch choices.
One is a Jackie Chan movie.
The other is a Stanley Tucci movie.
And I'm not sure which is the right one.
Wow.
I believe that Nathan Lane
was in a movie with Stanley Tucci
called Mouse Hunt.
Yes, that is correct.
What an exciting finish, Justin.
Okay, okay.
I'm going to guess Stanley Tucci was in The Anniversary Party
with Jennifer Jason Leigh.
No one here thinks that's true.
But there's a thousand people in that cast,
so we don't know.
It's a big cast.
It's no JFK.
But it is a large cast.
And I don't believe...
Front row's checking it here. I don't believe that he is in it. I don't like when row's checking it here.
I don't believe that he is in it.
I don't like when people look at their devices
but in this case I guess we have no choice.
Hit it.
Is he in the anniversary party?
Come on, cameo.
What if he had agreed to do it?
Midsummer Night's Dream was HBO.
Midsummer Night's Dream wasn't even theatrical.
Oh, fuck.
That's not true. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck, Frank.
That's not true.
That's not Frank.
We're not talking about that now, sir.
That's not true.
The corrections department will deal with that.
That was theatrical.
That's not true.
But what's the truth about he's not in the anniversary party?
Steve Kazee is our winner.
Wait, can I check my Jackie Chan?
Jackie Chan was in Supercop, right?
This guy gets a cookie.
Yeah, I had this bitch wrapped up.
Midsummer Night's Dream was not an HBO movie.
I'm sorry.
Don't tarnish my runner-up status.
Tucci was in a Percy Jackson movie.
What's that called?
Percy Jackson what?
Oh, he's in his shitty Transformers?
Yes, we all know Stanley Tucci's movies.
I get it, I get it.
Wait, what's the rest of Captain America, though?
The first Avenger.
I couldn't fucking think of... I kept thinking Winter Soldier, which is the rest of Captain America, though? The first Avenger. I couldn't fucking think of...
I kept thinking Winter Soldier,
which is wrong, of course.
He's in two of the Transformers?
Four and five.
You said Karate Kid?
That's why I didn't know.
The new Karate Kid.
The new one, yeah.
Oh, Jackie Chan in the Karate Kid remake.
Right, right.
Yeah.
Wait, Andrew, what were you saying?
Who said burlesque?
Oh, he is in that.
Is Stanley Tucci in burlesque?
He is in burlesque.
Who said burlesque?
Yeah.
Who said burlesque?
Who said that?
Don't you say burlesque to my face.
I'm in the mood for a little burlesque.
Jury duty? Jury duty? I'm in the mood for a little burlesque. Jerry Doody?
Easy A?
Forbidden Kingdom?
The Medallion?
Jackie Chan is not an easy A.
I feel like, wasn't Stanley Tucci
in one of those like Valentine's Day or like New Year's Day?
Maybe.
Maybe.
The Terminal.
Oh, that's a good one.
And JFK, right?
All right.
Well, we could do this all night.
Oh, wow.
Both of those guys have been in a million movies.
Yeah.
But congratulations to Steve for pulling that one out. Thank you. Thank
you so much. Great game, Justin. Great game, Justin. Nick, come get all of your stuff. That's
all your shit. And these guys, I'm going to collect the other name tags so I can read these
at the end. And, uh, this is the part of the show where, Wait, why am I getting more than...
Whose is that?
This is hers, but she put the shit head on the other one.
What?
Oh, she put the shit head on that.
Okay.
Got it.
Let's do some plugs, you guys.
Congratulations, Nick.
You just leave that face sucker on the edge of the stage.
That's the guy you took it from, right?
Yeah.
Do you want to give it back?
Do you want your name tag back, Nick? Do you want your name tag back? Oh, but you do have to give him the face sucker on the edge of the stage. That's the guy you took it from, right? Yeah. Do you want your name tag back, Nick?
Do you want your name tag back?
Oh, but you do have to give him the face sucker, Steve.
Absolutely.
Steve gets the face sucker, everybody.
It's a happy ending.
I feel like Katie Freeman's going to think
that's a good home for it, that you want it.
Yeah, I really wanted it.
And you're going to put it on for us?
Yeah, I was going to put it on.
All right.
He's going to put it on.
Correct.
Justin, what's going on with you, man?
You got anything coming up to promote?
Nope.
Yeah, you know what?
Actually, I would love everyone.
I directed and wrote with my brother this thing that's on Amazon Prime right now, if you have it.
It's a digital series.
They're little episodes, so you can get through it all in a half hour.
It's called The Real Stephen Blatt. And it'll be
on Funny or Die in a month, but if you
have Amazon, please check
it out. Very proud of it.
The Real Stephen Blatt.
The Real Stephen Blatt.
Great job tonight, dude.
I appreciate you coming down.
You know, I wasn't involved in booking
you on that
SiriusXM show. The people that were booking the radio show that I was filling in for booking you on that Sirius XM show.
The people that were booking the radio show that I was filling in for got you to come down.
And you were a great sport.
And then we've been in touch ever since.
And it's so great to have you back.
It's so fun.
I love doing it.
So thanks for having me.
I'm happy you're into it.
Thanks, guys.
You were so wonderful Seth Herzog
Tuesday nights here in New York City
It's a slipper room, sweet, big comedy show
Tomorrow night
Tomorrow night
is the last sweet show for about a month
and a half I take off, it's going to be a really big show
It's going to be great, But that's more for those in the
room who are here. Caroline Ray
is going to be on the show.
Josh Gondelman should be great. And then
in Montauk, I'm doing a big show
out at Rushmire's, August
30th, the end of the month, if anyone's
going to be out in Montauk.
And I guess that's it for
now that I can think of.
I tried to throw to the same guy several times while you were doing your plugs.
Did you get it?
Oh, he got one.
Okay, good.
Thanks, Seth.
Yeah.
Alex Brightman.
How did you say it?
Repeat what he said, Doug.
He doesn't know.
I could have told it to him.
He wouldn't know now.
Alex Brightman, what's going on with you, dude?
Okay.
I mean, besides that lady over there, what's going on with you?
Just making love to her later.
I'm on a Showtime show that's premiering this fall called Smilf,
which stands for Single Mother I'd Like to Fuck.
And in the first episode,
which will be premiering this fall,
you will all see my penis.
And on stage tonight!
And right now!
Rock and roll,
toochie-coo!
No, it's a great,
cool, really funny show.
And it'll be eight episodes
this fall on Showtime.
Yay!
And I was also in Assassins, but you can't see that now.
Oh, I want to see that, dude.
I love that show.
It was really big.
Now I played Zangara.
Yeah.
All right.
Oh, that's very nice.
Thank you.
People in the audience love it
people love musicals
steve kazee uh i'll also be sleeping with her later
no i have nothing i have i have nothing okay sing it i have nothing nothing. No, I was going Whitney Houston.
I have nothing.
Yeah.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Don't make me.
What about Instagram?
Steve, what about Instagram? I don't have anything.
Oh, anymore.
What's your steps up to, Steve?
My steps?
Still the same.
I'm throwing every hole.
83-23.
Can I throw one to the balcony?
Didn't make it.
Can I throw one to the balcony?
I haven't thrown anything yet.
I'm out of donuts.
I'm sorry.
Can I throw one to the balcony?
I just have crumbly things, but you can try.
That's why I can make it happen.
Good luck.
I'm just never going to make it.
I believe in you, Alex.
Made it.
Oh, you made it.
Made it, made it, made it.
Well done, well done.
Thank you.
I am going to be in Chicago and San Francisco and Boise and Cleveland,
and I would like people to come to those shows, and I would appreciate it.
Thank you, Gramercy Theater.
Thank you for coming out.
Thanks, everybody.
Thank you to all of my guests,
Steve Kazee, Alex Breiman, Seth Herzog, and Justin Long.
Thank you.
Thanks, Doug.
Thanks for having us, man.
As always,
as always,
being under construction
is a shithead.
At midnight,
being canceled is a shithead.
And Scaramucci's
coochie is a shithead.
Thanks again to the folks at HBO's Room 104.
From creators and executive producers Mark and Jay Duplass comes a new anthology series called Room 104.
Fridays at 11.30 p.m. on HBO.
Set in a single room of an average American motel, each episode of Room 104
tells the story of a different
and assorted characters
who pass through the room.
With performances by James
Vanderbeek, Jay Duplass, and Orlando
Jones, each episode plays like a mini
movie, ranging from comedy to drama
to horror. The tone, the characters, and
the era all change it from one week
to the next. One room, infinite possibilities. The tone, the characters, and the era all change it from one week to the next. One Room, Infinite
Possibilities. Room 104.
Fridays at 11.30pm
on HBO.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another
talkie. Eyes of Gold
is viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his
heart for you cause Doug
loves movies