Doug Loves Movies - Justin Roiland, Steve Agee, Chloe Dykstra and Tony Hinchcliffe guest

Episode Date: April 25, 2018

Live from the UCB Franklin in LA, Doug welcomes Justin Roiland, Steve Agee, Chloe Dykstra and Tony Hinchcliffe to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Priva...cy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Doug hates candy wrappers, green and baby sticky seeds With 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see But Doug loves movies Sit down! Hey, hey, hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies!
Starting point is 00:00:31 That's some professional L.A. shit right there. Because we're coming to you once again from the UCB Theater, Franklin location. It's Tuesday, April 24th, 2018. I can't believe it, you guys. I'm still writing 2016 on my checks Are you guys still making name tags? Holy crap The front row is name tag crazy
Starting point is 00:00:55 I haven't seen this in a while Five name tags in the front row Chelsea looking at your phone Instead of having a name tag Sitting next to a Dan Harmon looking motherfucker. Oh my god, there's so many name tags tonight. This is exciting.
Starting point is 00:01:12 Because as you can see, we have four guests and they're going to have a tough choice ahead of them because normally in LA we don't have that many name tags. Sit down. Just yelling at every latecomer. Could get you anything.
Starting point is 00:01:28 Like a watch. Doug Pluggs. Yeah. Classic. You know, when you're in stand-up comedy for as long as I am, you have some classic riffs. Doug Pluggs.
Starting point is 00:01:40 This Saturday, April 28th, Doug Loves Movies comes to Indianapolis for the first time ever. We've been out in Bloomington, but never in Indianapolis. 4.20 start time. You know, 4.30. The historic Basile Theater at the Anthenium, whatever
Starting point is 00:01:55 that means. And then Sunday, April 29th, this Sunday, I return to the waiting room lounge in Omaha for a stand-up show with a special guest you know and love from Doug Loves Movies. Be sure to bring your name tags, Omaha. And May 4th, 5th, and 6th... Yeah, I'll talk to Omaha like that.
Starting point is 00:02:14 Don't forget your name tags, Omaha. In L.A., they did not tonight. They brought a shit ton of name tags. May 4th, 5th, and 6th, I'm doing shows at both the Zanies in Rosemont, Illinois and Chicago, Illinois. Both kinds of Zanies. For all of my dates
Starting point is 00:02:34 I'm like looking at this like what did I write here? Both kinds? Oh, both kinds of shows. I'm doing Doug Loves Movies and you get it. For all of my dates, deets, and ticketing links Go to DougLovesMovies.com That's DougLovesMovies.com
Starting point is 00:02:50 Yeah Nice So professional this week you guys I can't believe this prize bag This prize bag is so good That there's a prize bag inside of it Which is stuff I want to keep Yeah I'm going to hang on to some stuff tonight ice bag inside of it, which is stuff I want to keep.
Starting point is 00:03:08 Yeah, I'm going to hang on to some stuff tonight. But you guys are going to win from the K-Rock April Foolishness show a t-shirt that I would never wear because I was in that show. And that's weird. A copy of my CD...
Starting point is 00:03:23 What's it called? Smug Life? I want to call it Doug Life because that works it called? Smug Life. I want to call it Doug Life because that works too but Smug Life. This was something, I stayed in a hotel recently where they knew it was me and they hooked me up. They gave me a 250 milligram THC
Starting point is 00:03:40 brownie. Yeah, they just left it in the hotel room and I was like, I'm not going to eat that. And then... And congratulations to our friends in Broken Lizard and the success of Super Troopers 2 had a great opening
Starting point is 00:03:55 weekend and one of you is going home with a Super Troopers 2 mustache. Yeah. Yeah, it's official. It's branded. I've got a Twix koozie as i have had in the last uh several shows and will continue to have for a bunch of shows uh bombus is a new uh sponsor of my stuff so i brought a pair of their socks and i tried on a pair and they're very, very comfortable. Holy shit,
Starting point is 00:04:28 I can't believe I gave you so many. It's a bunch of Douglas movie stickers and the winner tonight, your mission is to put these stickers in weird places
Starting point is 00:04:38 and then, and then take pictures, post pictures of it on the internet. I don't know if you will or not, but go for it. And I saw the Harry Potter play on Broadway, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, and they gave out buttons that say,
Starting point is 00:04:57 hashtag, keep the secrets. And I love the show, and I remember that it had a lot of twists and turns, but I couldn't tell you a lot of twists and turns, but I couldn't tell you what any of the secrets are. I couldn't tell you if I wanted to. Wow, that shirt did not go in that bag. That was really bad aim on my part.
Starting point is 00:05:19 So all of that is going to be won by somebody in addition to the gifts brought by my guests, and they've gone, I've seen some of them and they've gone way too far beyond what I was hoping they would bring. So somebody's going to win some good shit tonight. Please give it up for Chloe Dykstra, Tony Hinchcliffe, Steve Agee,
Starting point is 00:05:37 and Justin Roiland! Here they come. Right through that curtain. Sit wherever you want. Thanks for being here. You're really making the audience clap a lot with your slow entrance. I get what you're doing.
Starting point is 00:06:10 I figure it out. Sit next to me, Justin. My new friend for about a year now. Best friends for a year. Yeah, but it took a year to get you to show up here. Yeah. We'll talk to you in a second. We'll get back to you soon because we're going to show up here. Yeah. We'll talk to you in a second. We'll get back
Starting point is 00:06:25 to you soon because we're going to meet everybody individually. Starting with Chloe Dykstra is here everybody. Hi guys. How's it going? Second time on the show I think. Not on this show. You've been on this show before.
Starting point is 00:06:43 I've seen you sitting here at this table before. No, this is my first time on the UCB stage. Okay. I'm honestly like a little If you say so. a little scared right now. You've been on the weed show
Starting point is 00:06:52 a couple of times. I have been on the weed show. Yeah, so this is not nowhere near as scary as that. No, it's not. Only like a huge audience. It's fine. We're gonna
Starting point is 00:07:00 Oh, well, maybe the listeners, but here in LA, you know, we couldn't even fill a 99-seat theater. There's like 200 people here. Because people are jaded as fuck in L.A. They're like, $7 to maybe see something good?
Starting point is 00:07:15 I don't think so. It's Tuesday. But thank you for being here. Well, thank you for having me. And I'm sorry that I imagine that you've been here before. Yeah. I'll try to change that in my imagination. That's Steve Agee, everybody.
Starting point is 00:07:43 Thanks, Doug. Good to be back. You're what I call, especially if you follow Steve Agee on Twitter, you're going to follow the exploits of a life enthusiast. Oh, yeah. Yeah, all of his tweets are about, I don't want to leave the house. I don't like anything. Fuck everybody.
Starting point is 00:08:03 You know what happened in my neighborhood yesterday? No, I don't. They found an old man who know what happened in my neighborhood yesterday? No, I don't. They found an old man who'd been dead in his house for two months. Two months before anyone smelled anything or checked on him. That's the truth. Well, that means that's a big property lot size then, if nobody's smelling anything, right? No.
Starting point is 00:08:20 That's not good. No? Two months? He's got a stink. I think you found out that you can get away with not paying your rent for exactly two months. Two months? No. That's not good. No. Two months? He's got a stink. I think you found out that you can get away with not paying your rent for exactly two months. Two months? Oh, it was a house though.
Starting point is 00:08:31 I think Steve figured out he could murder somebody for two months. Then they had to send the bomb squad because when they broke into his house to find the body, it was full of guns and ammunition. The body was filled with guns and ammunition? This is a rough neighborhood you live in, dude. Obviously, these gangs are trying to send a message.
Starting point is 00:08:52 Fill him with guns and ammunition? I made him a Mexican. I'm sorry. Message in a bottle filled with guns. The gangster in LA, Mexican gangster. I did it. I'm a white guy, and that's bad gangster. I did it. I'm a white guy and that's bad nowadays.
Starting point is 00:09:06 I love it and we might as well say hello to you since you've been yapping so much. It's Tony Hitchcliffe, everybody. Hello.
Starting point is 00:09:17 Thank you. I invited Tony here tonight because he's a Rick and Morty enthusiast. Yes. Yeah. I'm also an enthusiast of drinking hooch out of a coffee cup. What kind Yes. Yeah. I'm also an enthusiast of drinking hooch
Starting point is 00:09:25 out of a coffee cup. What kind of hooch? I'm just kidding. It's coffee. Because I've had experiences where I put some vodka in one of those and it leaks through
Starting point is 00:09:37 the bottom of the cup and that makes me think, why am I putting vodka in my body if it can just fight its way through a paper cup? Every liquid leaks out of your body eventually. Papers weak.
Starting point is 00:09:52 Right, but they don't leak out of those cups, right? That's true. You know what it would really leak out of is if it was filled with guns and ammunition. And had been dead for two months. Uplifting. Beginning. Beginning. Delicious.
Starting point is 00:10:07 And finally, Justin Roiland is here. Prepare to be disappointed by me tonight. Dude, I was so excited to find out that you're a Kill Tony enthusiast, which is Tony's podcast. I'm obsessed. Thank you. And yeah, you've jumped. You brought us together, man.
Starting point is 00:10:28 Thank you. But the next step is you and I are going to be, if Tony's alright with it, we're going to be guest judges on the show sometime together. Judges, yeah. Let's do it. I know you're not comfortable with judging people. Well, I'm not a stand-up.
Starting point is 00:10:45 That's no reason not to judge people that are shitty at it. It's not really a judge. It's a guest on the show. We're not just judging them. There's no winners and losers. I like the way you phrase that. It's not a judge. It's just a guest.
Starting point is 00:10:58 It's just a person. It's not like... You're just hanging out giving input. And I even said to Justin, all your comments can be positive. Yeah. You can just say positive things. That was cool, dude. That was rad, dude.
Starting point is 00:11:09 Hell yeah. Wait, can I ask Steve a question about the dead corpse guy? Yeah, go for it. Two months it took his smell to reach the nose of all the surrounding houses. How much property was that? That's what I'm saying. She said that same thing. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:25 Like what normal acre? It That's what I'm saying. Oh, yeah. Like, what, a normal acre? It's about what your house is. Oh, really? There's no reason to make this personal. Okay, okay, sorry. Anyways. Okay, I just wanted to know. It's just like your house on 1542.
Starting point is 00:11:39 Yeah. I didn't say. I didn't give an address. Guys, come on. That's too close. That's the actual address. I didn't give an address. Guys, come on. That's too close. That's the actual address. I just guessed. It felt like a real Rick and Morty number to me.
Starting point is 00:11:51 When I die in a couple weeks, which I'm planning to do, as my close friends know, I'll have two months before anybody... No. My smell will travel quicker. Was he an old man? Yeah, yeah. Well, you know, let give him a moment of silence. Your dogs will eat you, Justin.
Starting point is 00:12:11 My tiny dogs will live for... They'll feast for months. For two months. See, you're doing great. You were worried. You were worried about, I don't want to go on that show
Starting point is 00:12:26 I don't know what's the matter with you people being able to get in front of a crowd you can see their faces the lights are on you said we're so relaxed and it's like
Starting point is 00:12:34 no we're not relaxed we're pumped yeah we're excited to say random shit in front of a live audience yeah alright
Starting point is 00:12:42 I'll get used to it yeah you will when do we get to talk about our presents? Right now. Chloe, what'd you bring for the prize? No one's beating Chloe. I wasn't sure what to bring exactly. So I started with Good Burger because I
Starting point is 00:12:54 feel like... Here's the thing. I'm really bad with movies. So I'm kind of like the millennial meets Generation Z-er. I'm kind of right in the center here. So I just thought I'd bring a little taste of my generation. And then I brought Geeky Dreamboats, a book that I got when, I think it's 2009.
Starting point is 00:13:13 It's got Michael Cera on the front, Adam Brody, Daniel Radcliffe, I think. Who else was in here? All the Geeky Dreamboats. Jimmy Fallon. His book is insane. Barack Obama. Most deaf somehow.
Starting point is 00:13:29 Gosling. That book alone. It's Yassine Bey, young lady. That book alone is worth it. I'm sorry. I apologize. And then I brought X-Men Apocalypse because I don't want it. I don't think you want any of those things.
Starting point is 00:13:43 There you go. I think you undersold the dream boat book. That's my contribution. Oh, do of those things. There you go. I think you undersold the Dreamboat book. That's my contribution. Oh, do I have to? Here you go. Whoever wins the prize package, let's talk after this, because I want that Dreamboat book. Oh, yeah?
Starting point is 00:13:56 Oh, it's yours. It's yours. No, no, no, no, no. No, it's yours. No, no, I can't steal from the audience. No, anybody that's a guest on the panel can have anything from the prize bag. I do want it, though. Yeah, hang on to it.
Starting point is 00:14:07 That's fucking hilarious. Look at that shit. Look at all the little kiss marks over his head. Justin's a huge Degrassi fan. That's true. Come on, everyone's in here. Tony? He smokes a lot of Degrassi.
Starting point is 00:14:17 You're all in here. Steve, what'd you bring? I brought a You're the Worst lunchbox. That was a wrap gift. That was a wrap gift. It was a wrap gift. Of course, you play Dutch on You're the Worst, one of my employees at DB International. That's right.
Starting point is 00:14:36 And who knows what's going to happen to us in the fifth and final season. I'd like to be killed off since it's the last season. Oh, that would be fun, yeah. Yeah, we should both die together somehow And they don't find us for two months There's that scene where we're like Uh oh
Starting point is 00:14:53 Just sniffing Seems like there might be a dead person or two around here Or two It's a smell you never forget And is there anything in the lunchbox? Air You just brought an empty lunchbox? You're the worst rap guest.
Starting point is 00:15:08 Are you sure there's nothing in it? Oh, shit. It's filled with guns and ammunition. A ghost just escaped. No, there's nothing in it. That's beautiful. That's perfect. Stephen Falk, who created this show you're the worst
Starting point is 00:15:27 he listens to this podcast so he's gonna be thrilled to hear you re-gifted well no it's it's a delightful wrap gift but I
Starting point is 00:15:34 it's you said yours is sitting on top of your refrigerator mine's on top of my refrigerator it's gonna find its way into a landfill
Starting point is 00:15:41 after tonight let's be honest no I'm just kidding I don't know people are excited to have it. What'd you bring, Tony? I'm pretty excited about what I brought.
Starting point is 00:15:52 I brought the book I'm Dying Up Here, which now has a Showtime show made after it. It's a great book, and it's about comedy, and it's great, great stuff. Teachers do everything. And the fountain. And I also brought a can of canna dips.
Starting point is 00:16:09 Now, if you're wondering what that is, it's what you probably think it is. It's little chewing tobacco pouches, but it's not chewing tobacco. It's just medical cannabis. So you can just shove that between your cheek and gum. That's a good one. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:23 It gets you high? Yeah, 150 milligrams of THC in that can. Oh, they're not fucking around. The challenge that I offer is for you to do the whole can of dips and try to read through geeky dream boats. Yeah, that's why I can't keep this, man. Come on. All right.
Starting point is 00:16:42 I want you to have it, but if you don't want it, that's cool. Are you going to contaminate the candidates? Yeah, I'm going to fucking have some of it. Oh, my God, dude. Wait, it's little pouches? Yeah, put it in your mouth. If you swallow your... Don't swallow it.
Starting point is 00:16:58 Jeez, he puts it in like he's about to pitch a baseball game. That's how dips work, man. Oh, that's not good. I don't think that's going to work out for me. Did the high just hit you? Does anybody else want to try one? No way. I mean, if you swallow the spit, you get super sick.
Starting point is 00:17:17 You guys have all gotten high on my show except for Justin, and you won't even try one of these? It looks kind of dangerous to me. Come on, weaklings. I might pitch a no-hitter. I mean, I don't want to do one. There's a reason why I'm giving it away.
Starting point is 00:17:34 One went on the floor. I mixed it in good. The winner will never know. That's the surprise one. All right, Justin, what did you bring? I just brought a backpack of Rick and Morty stuff that I... Now listen, you guys didn't cheer like that for me. I'm dying up here. What the fuck?
Starting point is 00:17:52 By William Nottlesberger. They turned it into a good show. Justin, how many of those backpacks do you actually have? There's like 12 of them in the office. I just grabbed a bunch of stuff from the office. It's a beautiful backpack. It's good. It's like in space with Rick and Morty. It's like really... I love it. And then it's filled with a bunch of stuff from the office It's a beautiful backpack It's like in space with Rick and Morty
Starting point is 00:18:05 It's like really And then it's filled with a bunch of Rick and Morty things Let's see some examples We don't want to spend too much time I'm going to spend the next half hour You guys ready? We're going to take our fucking time with this shit We got a fucking Wallet
Starting point is 00:18:21 We got a wallet right here We got a Wait what's this? We got a wallet right here. We got a, wait, what's this? Oh, we got some, we got a pin. Socks. I think you might have a whole head-to-toe wardrobe when you leave here. Because there's shirts and a belt. A fucking Rick and Morty belt. Look at that shit.
Starting point is 00:18:42 You can cut it. Who would wear that ever? I love it. It at that shit. You can cut it. Who would wear that ever? I love it. It's so good. It's great for going through TSA. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, a whole backpack full of stuff. Thank you so much for doing
Starting point is 00:18:59 that. What? Riggle Rick! Riggle Rick! Riggle Rick! Wriggle Rick! Uh, yeah. There you go. I didn't know I had to bring a prize.
Starting point is 00:19:14 You did a great job. Oh, shit, I forgot to put this stuff back in. Just keep it, man. Cheat! I already kept something, I gotta say. Oh. Yeah. I was very excited about one of the items, and I kept it.
Starting point is 00:19:26 But lots of stuff for the winner tonight. But before we get to that, I have to ask everybody a question before we get to the games, starting with Chloe. What was the last movie you saw? This is really disappointing. Is it? Why? I saw The Greatest Showman.
Starting point is 00:19:45 I saw The Greatest Showman. I saw The Greatest Showman. I saw The Greatest Showman. Why is that disappointing? And why did you do it? What compelled you to watch it? I was on a plane. I saw it on Christmas motherfucking day. You went? With my mother and we had a lovely time. Did you?
Starting point is 00:20:01 We were both like, Zendaya! The one good thing to come out of that movie is Zendaya with a pink with a pink wig it's pretty good she looked good right she looked great yeah she was flying around on a rope why don't we run yeah yeah but you didn't like the movie I mean did you guys see it did anybody see it some people did probably not this audience you don't really
Starting point is 00:20:27 you don't really but it was a pretty big hit I'm not a good flyer so I thought I'd just throw something on that wasn't gonna freak me out and it still kind of freaked me out
Starting point is 00:20:35 a little bit you know it troubled me that there's a whole song and dance number built around doing shots in a bar
Starting point is 00:20:42 yeah and about how great it is to do that and like that's a movie that families went to see but like if somebody smoked a joint in a family movie everyone would lose their shit like it's the worst thing ever. So that bothered me but other than that
Starting point is 00:20:56 I liked it. I liked all the freaks. Bearded Lady was a good singer. This movie sounds cool. They kind of, there was a little bit too much of a comparison between the freak show and then the minorities at the same time. It just felt a little weird
Starting point is 00:21:12 to me. Oh, you don't think minorities are freaks? I... You know... And then the whole... Not very 2018. Hey, look, check out all these cool freaks. And they were all so grateful that he put them on stage and then took advantage of them. But in real life, that's the thing,
Starting point is 00:21:26 is Barnum was a total asshole. Piece of shit. Yeah, yeah. One of those women, one of his freaks in his show was a person he found and imprisoned and forced to be in the show. Yeah, I mean. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:38 His backstory is bad. It's bad. He's not Hugh Jackman. He's not the awesome. See, like Hugh Jackman was great. Yeah. No, he really sells the idea that P.T's not Hugh Jackman. He's not the awesome... See, Hugh Jackman was great, but... No, he really sells the idea that P.T. Barnum was awesome. And P.T. Barnum in his grave should be going, thank you, Hugh Jackman.
Starting point is 00:21:52 It was an interesting choice that they decided to put that much money into that film. That's all I'm saying. Isle of Dogs is great, though. Oh, now you bring up another movie when we have to move on to Steve. What was the last movie you saw last night i rented another american or more american graffiti what i can't believe you
Starting point is 00:22:15 finally got around to that i watched american graffiti and while i was watching it earlier in the day i imdb'd it and in trivia, oh no, so I was like, you know what, I never saw the second one. And so I was looking at the trivia of the second one and in the trivia it says comedian Doug Benson's favorite movie. I swear to God. There's no way.
Starting point is 00:22:38 I swear to God. And that's why I rented it. I swear to God. There's no way. There's a movie called More American Graffiti. And is it like so bad it's good or is it legitimately good? No, I mean, it's not a terrible movie,
Starting point is 00:22:55 but like it's got... Why do you love it? Why is it your favorite movie, Doug? It's like they have like four different stories and they tell each of them in a different visual way. A la. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, this is not my favorite movie.
Starting point is 00:23:11 How rent it. But I do. I don't dislike it. Well, you're on RMTV. At one point, Harrison Ford has a pretty big part in the first American Graffiti. And then in the more American Graffiti. And then in the more American Graffiti, he shows up at one point
Starting point is 00:23:28 as a motorcycle cop. And he pulls somebody over. And he acts all hard ass or whatever. But yeah, I don't know why anyone would name that as my favorite movie. I'm not on the record. Can you go on the record right now? Well, I don't want people to know that Prince's Diaries
Starting point is 00:23:44 is my favorite movie. So I'm never going to say it on. Well, I don't want people to know that Princess Diaries is my favorite movie, so I'm never going to say it on the record. So don't put that on IMDb. And Princess Diaries 2 can fuck off. I can confirm it says it right there. Oh my God, it does. Doug Benson's favorite movie. What a weird piece of trivia.
Starting point is 00:24:01 Anarchy online. Anarchy. I think anyone can go on IMDb and just add a piece of trivia. Apparently. But I don't know where they got that idea. The problems we're facing as a system. So that was it. My favorite thing is underneath that. It says Doug Benson's favorite movie
Starting point is 00:24:15 and it says one person interested in this. Oh yeah. Well this was very helpful. Yeah that one person was Steve Agee. It might have been. It might have been. It might have been. Other than that, I saw that Christian Bale movie, Hostiles. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:32 Do you like that? It's pretty good. It's intense, right? Yeah, it's fucked up. Yeah, check it out. It's his revenant. Yeah. Okay. It's good. I tried to watch it, but I was like, no, I'm going to take a nap. You could say I was hostile toward hostiles.
Starting point is 00:24:54 Tony? Yeah, on Sunday afternoon, I saw Super Troopers 2, and I loved it. Yes! It's better than the first one. I agree. I know. I don't know It's better than the first one. I agree. Yeah. I know. That's a real namesake.
Starting point is 00:25:08 I don't know if they've seen the movie. People sounded bummed that it would be better. Like, oh, I wanted this one to be shitty. Oh, come on. Yeah. We really wanted this one to step down, but they pulled it off. It was great. But also earlier that day, so it was almost a tie.
Starting point is 00:25:24 Just a few hours before that, I watched Churchill for the first time, too, and that blew my mind. I just love those kinds of characters, and Gary Oldman just turns into them, and it's freaky. Oh, you mean Darkest Hour? Yeah. It's not called Churchill.
Starting point is 00:25:40 I thought it was called Churchill. That's so funny. I was totally nodding like I knew exactly what you were talking about. I thought it was called Churchill the whole time. I was like, oh, yeah. I watched it was called Churchill. That's so funny. I was totally nodding. Like, I knew exactly what you were talking about. I thought it was called Churchill the whole time. I was like, oh, yeah, that's incredible. Yeah, yeah, Churchill, yeah. I watched it on the plane. Yeah, this show's all about exact titles, and so you're negative one.
Starting point is 00:25:53 Oh. Yeah, you're losing. Man, this is my darkest hour. Come on, give me my point back, man. I think they call it darkest hour so they can have, have like very dark lighting to cover up uh his uh four hour makeup session that he went through every day but he is amazing and deserve the oscar i think yeah did you win an oscar yeah you won sometimes when are the oscars
Starting point is 00:26:17 um sorry you know they're usually at christmas on christmas. They announced the Oscars. Justin, what was the last movie you saw? It's an older movie. I watched The Mist. Oh, wow. Frank Darabont. Is that your first time? No, I had seen it once before. You'd seen it before and you're like,
Starting point is 00:26:37 I want to revisit this fucking nightmarish, aggravating... Well, I was watching the TV show and I was like, you know, fuck this. Let's just watch the movie because there's crazy monsters. There's a TV show version of it? Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that.
Starting point is 00:26:55 I don't know if it originated on Netflix, but it's on Netflix. Okay. But yeah, I was like, no, fuck this. There's no weird skeleton spiders or fucking wasp skeletons and stuff. Fuck this. Like, there's no like weird skeleton spiders or, you know, fucking wasp skeletons and stuff like, fuck this. Let's watch the movie.
Starting point is 00:27:10 So we watched the movie and, uh, yeah, I don't know. It's, it was all right. Can I say something about spoiling anything? Oh,
Starting point is 00:27:17 did I just spoil something? No, no, no, no, no. I don't think anybody's worried about spoilers. No,
Starting point is 00:27:21 but I still try to be considerate, but that ending is of that movie. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. movie came out in 2007. Yeah, but I still try to be considerate, but that ending of that movie is literally, I think, the most fucked up ending of any film. God bless him for that. But fucked up in a good way? Yeah, well, fucked up in a...
Starting point is 00:27:37 You know, it's one of those things where somebody in the writer's room would pitch it, and you're like, oh, it's fucking awesome, but seriously, no, no, no, we can't do that. Come on, seriously, real pitches, real pitches. And no no no we can't do that come on seriously real pitches
Starting point is 00:27:45 real pitches and then this guy was like this guy was like you know what fuck real pitches we're gonna fucking do that
Starting point is 00:27:52 cause nobody would do it in Hollywood and then they did it and it fuck and it's like it's exactly what you could probably
Starting point is 00:28:00 say what it is that's an 11 year old movie can we? is that okay, Doug? Should we give a spoiler alert to anybody who hasn't seen it yet? Hang on a second. Raise your hand out there if you're listening right now. Turn off the podcast if you are worried about what happens at the end of The Mist.
Starting point is 00:28:16 Skip ahead two minutes. The Mist, 2007. Frank Darabont. No, they fucking killed themselves. The hero, the protagonist of the movie, who's Mr. Good Guy the whole time. Who was that? Thomas Jane? I can't remember the actor's name.
Starting point is 00:28:33 I don't know who he's in. Encyclopedia brain who smokes weed all the time. This is a movie I've never sat through. Maybe we shouldn't spoil it for him. People say Marsha Gay Harden is either the worst or best character you've ever seen in a movie. Wait, is she the
Starting point is 00:28:49 religious? She's the annoying one. Oh yeah, that's right. I forgot about that. And you've not seen the movie? No, no. I know a lot about movies I haven't seen. Are you the one person in this room who hasn't seen The Mist? You might want to see it because I swore to God. I will check it out someday. The ending I thought I saw. It's in my queue. The only thing that they could have done to see it because I swore to God. I will check it out someday. The ending I thought I saw. It's in my queue.
Starting point is 00:29:09 The only thing that they could have done to make it more devastating is kill a dog. Like, that's the only thing that they could have done. Well, that was actually the alternate ending. They all just get out and kill a dog. Yeah, it's not a Wes Anderson movie, so I wasn't worried about dog deaths. Yeah, let's not spoil it. You know what, Dumb Dumbs out there? Hold on to it. You're going to listen.
Starting point is 00:29:23 You're going to fucking watch it and enjoy it. I think you spoiled it enough already. Did we really? We just said it was a bummer. Well, he didn't kill a dog. That's all we spoiled. Oh, you did. Yeah, I sort of spoiled it.
Starting point is 00:29:32 Ah, fuck it. Whatever. Unceremoniously spoils. Those of you listeners who just skipped ahead to this point, you missed absolutely nothing. You can skip back and start over. No, you missed some good stuff. Go back and listen. It's stuff. Go back and listen.
Starting point is 00:29:45 It's great. Go back and listen, I swear. Just skip around. You know, that's the best way to listen to this. There's no rhyme or reason to anything. But there is a point in the show. Oh, did I ask you what you saw yet, Justin? There is a point in the show where I...
Starting point is 00:30:05 Did I miss you? There's a point in the show where I say turn it off, Bort. Shut it down, Bort. Let the games begin! Yeah. We got name tags. Lots of name tags. A lot for the LA
Starting point is 00:30:23 crowd, so I'm very proud of everybody for their hard work. And each of you has to go select a name tag that you would like to play for. One guy there just has a normal name tag. Yeah. And while you do that, we'll do this. We'll be right back after these messages. Support for today's show comes from American Addiction Centers. Sometimes it's hard to ask for help.
Starting point is 00:30:47 Addiction is a nationwide problem that can affect anyone. And there's no easy fix. Recovery isn't one size fits all. AAC is revolutionizing the addiction treatment industry with holistic evidence-based treatment practices. They offer innovative technology to ensure safety throughout detox and treatment, specializing in treating dual diagnoses or co-occurring mental health issues and addiction. They work hard to make sure individual needs are met, empowering individuals in their lifelong recovery journey in a comfortable home-like setting. AAC even offers in-house genetic testing so that you can find out if you're prone to any
Starting point is 00:31:28 kind of prescription drug sensitivity or interactions. This is especially important in the midst of the current opioid epidemic. If you struggle with drugs or alcohol, or maybe you're not even sure whether or not you have a problem, call American Addiction Centers at 888-708-4412. Available 24-7. Your life is worth more than your addiction. That's 888-708-4412.
Starting point is 00:31:55 Don't wait until it's too late. We're back! Who are you playing for, Chloe? I'm playing for the Ryan King, the winner of two Oscars what two Oscars is the lion, right? Oh, so alive.
Starting point is 00:32:26 Jesus. Genius in the dark. Yeah, you assholes. Yeah. Hakuna Matata, go fuck off with that song. Steve, who are you playing for? Dirty Haley. Detective Haley Callahan.
Starting point is 00:32:43 You don't assign her to murder cases. You just turn her loose. Wow, you're gonna have quite a career when Nick Nolte dies. Hey, I thought that was pretty cool. Yeah, you could totally take over all the Nick Nolte parts. This is my impression of Nick Nolte responding to Barbra Streisand directing him
Starting point is 00:33:01 in Prince of Tides. Jesus Christ, Barbra! Alright, who are you playing for, Tony? I'm playing for Pete Cemetery. Oh, you got a whole book out of the deal. Yeah, you got a book. Shit, he really fucking scoured the crowd looking for the
Starting point is 00:33:20 good stuff. I did, I went up to the other, there was one man that tried to hand me his cell phone at one point. Take my phone, please. Somebody tried to give me a Bitcoin. I was like, I can't. So who's Pet Sematary? What's the name of the person?
Starting point is 00:33:36 Pete. Yeah, Pete. And I looked on the inside of this to see if anybody signed it or anything. It wasn't made out to anybody, but it does say Doug Benson's favorite movie. I knew it. I do like that one, too. That's the problem with my favorite movie.
Starting point is 00:33:51 It's most movies. And underneath that, it said there's one person interested in this. In an actual book. And it was me. And Justin is playing for Alex Machina. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:07 Why'd you pick that? Because it was, I like that movie, Alex Machina. Have you guys seen it? Yeah. And then also because it was really close to me. Is that a bad reason? No. Is that going to get me chastised?
Starting point is 00:34:21 No, expedience is pretty coolience....is pretty cool. It says below that, what happens to me if I fail your test? Is that a quote from the movie? I think that's what... Yeah, I think that's... Is that a quote from the film? I don't think he changed that.
Starting point is 00:34:35 Oh, okay, okay. I don't know. It's been a while since I've seen it. I don't remember her saying that, but... Look at this disgusting thing I've had in my mouth. Oh! Like, now... Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:34:45 Now it just looks like a ball of wind. But are you super high, though? I don't know what I am. Are you so high right now from that? No, I don't know, man. I don't know what happened to me. Somebody's winning that enough to last you a month. Just put that in the prize bag.
Starting point is 00:34:59 Oh, no, it's in the prize bag. No, she means the one that I was just... It's an extra surprise. I'll throw it into the crowd. Hey, who wants it? Open your mouth, guys. Oh, did you just
Starting point is 00:35:12 put it in your pocket? Oh, my God. You just keep putting it in weirder and weirder places. He'll deal with it later. I feel like if we yell at you anymore, he's just gonna shove it
Starting point is 00:35:20 up his asshole. What's up with that? Oh, pocket's not a good place? Oh, man. Oh, man. I got so fucked up last asshole. Pocket's not a good place. Oh man. Oh man, I got so fucked up last night. Somebody roofied my beer with a little weird...
Starting point is 00:35:33 I don't even know how to describe that thing. I would say sachet. A sachet? A sachet full of weed? Jesus Christ. A potpourri, if you will. The old pot roofie. All right, I've got a series of games planned for you guys.
Starting point is 00:35:51 Probably too many for how much time we have, but we'll muscle through. Let's start with live, die, repeat. No applause. That's cool. no applause that's cool in this game I will slowly say the title of a motion picture and the first person who repeats
Starting point is 00:36:13 it back completely incorrectly wins you don't have to repeat back everything I say. All right, sorry. Just the full title of the movie. We just repeat it back to you?
Starting point is 00:36:34 Really, commit. Just repeat it back. You just have to be the fastest. He's done. And the most correct. So you're going to say something, and we just repeat it back to you. That's probably a longer movie title, right?
Starting point is 00:36:47 You got to get the whole movie title. It could be fucking Shrek 2. 2. So he's like, Shrek. Ah, okay. I hope it is Shrek 2. That'd be really cool. It'd be the quickest little round.
Starting point is 00:37:03 Yeah, it would add pretty fast. But this might drag out a little bit based on how well you guys know this title. Here we go. Here we go. Don't. Tell mom the babysitter's dead. Ooh. Great job, Steve. For real?
Starting point is 00:37:18 Incorrect. Really? Don't. Why'd you put your mic down down I'm not eliminated for guessing oh okay we get to get quit making rules we get to guess as much as we want yeah
Starting point is 00:37:30 don't breathe no oh no god don't speak no I know just what you're thinking no don't you forget about me
Starting point is 00:37:39 don't know what you're thinking don't go chasing waterfalls don't be don't don't don't be a don't be a don't be a don't be a don't be a don't be a don't be a don't be a don't be a don't be a don't be a don't be a don't be a don't be a don't be a don't be a don't be a don't be a don't be a don't be a don't be a don't be a don't be a don't be a don't be a don't be a don't be a don't be a don't be a don't be a don't be a don't be a don't be a don't be a don waterfalls. Don't be... Don't... Don't... Don't be a... Don't be a... Don't be a dummy...
Starting point is 00:37:48 Drinking juice in the hood. What is that? Don't be a dummy while you... Menace to society. While you're drinking juice in the hood. Don't be a menace.
Starting point is 00:37:56 Don't be a... Oh, no. Is it really that? Don't be a menace to... Oh, yeah. Society. Society while drinking juice in the...
Starting point is 00:38:04 Society? What? Wait, really? Don't be a menace to... to society while drinking juice in the society? Wait, really? Don't be a menace to South Don't be Don't be a menace to South Central while drinking juice in the hood. Don't be a menace
Starting point is 00:38:19 to South Central while drinking Don't be a menace to South Central Is this a real Is this real? Don't be a menace to South Central while drinking juice
Starting point is 00:38:33 in the hood Don't be a menace to South Central while drinking your juice in the hood Don't be a menace to South Central That was right Pete it's for you buddy Pete I'm gonna do it hood. Don't be a menace. That was right. That was right. Yay. Pete, it's for you, buddy. Pete, I'm gonna do it.
Starting point is 00:38:51 While drinking your juice in the hood. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. I've never heard of that movie. Am I awful for not having heard of that movie? Yes, you are. You're racist. Yeah, exactly. Horrible human being. You gotta turn in your human being card. Alright. Thanks for human being. Yeah. Who will burn in hell.
Starting point is 00:39:05 You gotta turn in your human being card. All right. Thanks for coming by. I'm sorry. Great job. Tony Hinchcliffe won that one. Thank you. I'm all the way up to zero now.
Starting point is 00:39:17 Yeah. It only means you get to go first to the next game, but I'm so excited about this next game because it's it's a fairly new one it's called how long is it i'll name a thing and you guys tell me how long it is six and a half closest without going over price is right style is the winner okay and uh we'll start with tony and then we'll go to steve then to chloe and then to justin you each get one guess and one guess only how long is the opening
Starting point is 00:39:53 single take at the beginning of the tom hanks movie bonfire of the vanities holy shit it's a long ass take following uh bruce willis through a series of uh dude. It's a long ass take following Bruce Willis through a series of Bruce Willis events. First of all, let me just make a point that my reward for winning the last round is going first in this one, but this would actually be an event that
Starting point is 00:40:17 you would want to go last. Yep, yep, yep. True. And second of all... Yeah, but if you say the right number, everyone else is fucked. Alright. Fine... Yeah, but if you say the right number, everyone else is fucked. All right. Fine. Yeah, if your movie... If you nail it...
Starting point is 00:40:30 Your knowledge is really... But yeah, you're right. Going last would probably be the best. Thank you. Completely makes sense. It's like I'm being punished for... No, you win, you lose on this show. But, you know, you get to weigh in first,
Starting point is 00:40:51 so you could really nail it. You know, one of the interesting things is that when I was a kid, Bonfire of the Vanities was one of the only movies that my mom would let me watch. Weird. No, I've actually never seen it. Oh, really?
Starting point is 00:41:08 Yeah, not at all. Well, okay, let me give you a clue. It's long for one take. It's not as long as your Netflix special called One Shot. Do you know how long a normal take would be? Can we get an average number? Without a cut, right? It's a pretty quick turn.
Starting point is 00:41:24 Yeah, without cutting. No coverage. An average take would be how long? It's very similar to the Goodfellas scene where they go through the kitchen on the way into the club. Oh, so like a choreographed... Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:39 Like Birdman is all that shit. Alright, I'm ready to make a guess. Nine minutes. Oh, fuck. Let me... man is all that shit. Alright, I'm ready to make a guess. Nine minutes. Okay. I don't know why you're so upset about that. But what do you think, Steve? Eleven. Eleven minutes.
Starting point is 00:41:57 I'm going to say nine minutes and thirty-six seconds. I'm going to say eight minutes and fifty-nine I'm going to say 8 minutes I'm going to say 8 minutes and 59 seconds. Isn't that how they do it? Now we're going to have to do back. Justin, that's horrible. Is that the opposite of what you're supposed to do?
Starting point is 00:42:17 I've already forgotten what my number was. Okay, okay, hold on. Hold on, I'll take it back. You should be on the other side. I take back my thing. You should be one second. side. I take back my thing. Wait, so... You should be one second. Yeah, you should have said one second.
Starting point is 00:42:30 All right, wait, wait, wait. Or just add one second to the top, the longest one. So, yeah, what's the longest one? You said 11? Yeah. Yeah. So you could go 1101. I don't believe it's that long.
Starting point is 00:42:39 I don't believe it's that long, though. That's the problem. Okay, so now you got to back up to my previous advice. Oh, yeah, yeah. Can I change my answer now? So we have two eight's the problem. Okay, so now you've got to back up to my previous advice. Oh, yi-yi. Can I change my answer now? So we have two eight minutes over here. No, you've got to go first. You're nine minutes and 36.
Starting point is 00:42:51 It's really disappointing to hear after you. And you're 11. You guys have nice round numbers. Who said nine and who said 11? Wait, wait, wait. I said 936. We would definitely set up the PSA. All right, hold on, hold on.
Starting point is 00:43:01 I got it, I got it. I know what my answer is. I know what my answer is. Okay. Without going over. Yeah right. Hold on. Hold on. I got it. I got it. I know. I know what my answer is. I know my answer is good without going over. Yeah. So, but hold on.
Starting point is 00:43:10 Justin, just say a number. Oh, I see. I see. Okay. I got it. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:43:16 My brain's a little, little tired. I got a lot of, I got a little mosquito juice in my body right now. It's slowing me down. Uh, that's not slang for anything, by the way. I literally have a lot of mosquito
Starting point is 00:43:26 bites on my legs. What would it be slang for? I have no idea. I just wanted to make sure. I made love to a Mexican, so I have a lot of mosquito juice running through my... Why would that have anything to do with being Mexican? I don't know. I just picked a
Starting point is 00:43:41 thing. Am I backed in the corner? So I have a mosquito. Do I have to guess over 11? No. I'm going to go 10. I'm going to go 10 minutes and 12 seconds. Okay.
Starting point is 00:43:58 Very specific. All right, let's recap. Chloe? 9.36. Steve? 11. Tony? I guessed two and a half minutes. You did not!
Starting point is 00:44:07 You did not! Remember everybody? Ha? I can't hear you, Pete, you son of a bitch. What did you really say? What was your real guess? I said nine minutes. It's not a bad guess. Oh, did you say? Justin, how many?
Starting point is 00:44:25 I said 10 minutes, 12 seconds. All right. You said 11. Every single one of you went over. So nobody wins. Can we start over? I should have said one minute. I'm going to say four minutes.
Starting point is 00:44:40 I should have said one second. Tony was on the right track, because it's four minutes and 43 seconds. I was going to say four minutes and 36 seconds. Well, you know what? Shame on them, then. Oh, my God. I should have said one second. Tony was on the right track because it's four minutes and 43 seconds. I was going to say four minutes and 36 seconds. Well, you know what? Shame on them then. Oh my God, I'm so mad. Later, Brian De Palma did a movie called Snake Eyes and he has like an almost 12 minute take in that because he was like, oh, Bonfire
Starting point is 00:44:55 of the Vanities was a huge flop. Let's double that number. Really get people into it. So that means Tony is still getting to go first in this next game. Tony killing it. I think Death Proof has a one take in it
Starting point is 00:45:13 that's like 13 minutes long, a real one at a diner scene. It's a really good one too. 13 minutes? Kurt Russell's hiding in the corner. You can see him at one part while it's going around. It's a circle. Cool little Easter egg.
Starting point is 00:45:24 Yeah. Classic Tarantino diner table conversation. There's a lot of you know those long takes in a bunch of different movies. I feel like. No way. Yeah I'm kind of an expert on film.
Starting point is 00:45:40 And a lot of times people do those. I feel like this game is one long take. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, we haven't cut. I think the one in Death Proof is somewhere like between 13 and 15 or something. I don't believe that. Oh, yeah, you'll see it.
Starting point is 00:45:53 But it sounds legit. That's rough. That's a rough day. Sounds like a long-ass movie. Yeah. If they could afford to do that. Hitchcock's Rope, of course, they tried to give the impression that it was all one take and then they did it again with Birdman.
Starting point is 00:46:08 Does anybody know the subtitle of Birdman? Birdman and the... Birdman and the... No, it's Birdman or parentheses... How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bum? Yes, that's it. I think so. I think you got it. That's it. I think so. I think you got it. Chloe's our winner.
Starting point is 00:46:30 Alright. No, Tony gets to go first in our final game. And it's a little something called Last Man Stanton. Wait, wait. Our final game? I mean, he's gonna win then, for sure. Why? What's the point structure? This is the last game? He gets to go first.
Starting point is 00:46:45 Whichever one of you wins wins everything. Oh, I didn't know that. This is for all... I mean, there's no marbles in the prize bag, but this is for all of the things in the prize bag. Alright. This is where I'm really going to come in strong.
Starting point is 00:47:01 This is the last game. I think you might. Anything could happen. You'll see. where I'm really going to come in strong. This is the last game. I think you might. Man. Anything could happen. You'll see. Yeah. Because an audience member that I've preselected is going to tell us the name of an actor
Starting point is 00:47:13 or actress and you guys have to take turns naming movies that person was in. If you can't think of one, you're out. Wow.
Starting point is 00:47:20 But each of you get one lifeline to the person whose name tag you chose I feel pretty confident about Ryan over here yeah you do he knew that Lion King won two Oscars
Starting point is 00:47:34 that's a pretty informed individual we only get one lifeline though yeah you can only go to him once but I recommend you go to him early I recommend you go to Alex McInerney early even if I know it because if you go to Alex McInerney. Early? Early on.
Starting point is 00:47:47 Even if I know it? Because if you wait till late, then they're not going to know anything either. Oh, I see. The person who's suggesting a name tonight, hopefully, because this might be a joke. I might have been catfished on this one. Oh, no. Is there someone in the audience who goes by the Twitter name Too Many Turds? Were you at Too Many Turds?
Starting point is 00:48:08 No way. Too Many Turds? Yeah, turds with a Z. Wow, hold on. For the podcast listeners, I just want to let you know he's really owning it. He is proud that he's Too Many Turds with a Z. Big smile. I want to see the driver's license.
Starting point is 00:48:26 Can I ask you, was there too many turds with an S and then you had to go with the Z? You just went straight for the Z? He went Z just because he's a stylish person who has too many turds. And I'll tell you what, this guy definitely, I'm looking at him, definitely has too many turds. His sign, his name tag is made out of candy.
Starting point is 00:48:45 It's Reese's peanut butter cups. So do the math. You say Reese's? What do those turn into later? Reese's. Yeah, like Reese's monkey. It's Reese's. It's Reese's. Reese's? It's Reese's, but you know, for too many turds.
Starting point is 00:49:02 Too many turds. Tony's favorite time when he was in school was recessed. Recess? Like, yo, my name's Reese, and I made some chocolate. It would have been Reese. Oh, these are Reese's. Reese's. Reese made them.
Starting point is 00:49:17 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. These are Reese's. Of course. Was Reese's feces taken when you picked your name? Oh, no. So why too many turds? Because it's Twitter. You can only call yourself anything. No, it was random.
Starting point is 00:49:34 I was like 16. You were 16, yeah, of course. You committed. Wait, you picked your name back when you were 16? Wait, what's going on? This is his Twitter name when he was 16. Now he looks like he's about 50. You thought he changed
Starting point is 00:49:48 his real name to Too Many Turds? Please tell me. Justin was like, show me your license. Justin. Justin. No, I thought
Starting point is 00:49:57 he made it up tonight and then he was saying it was 16 years ago. I was like, wait, what? Please tell me you kept your email address too, like too many turds at AOL.com. It was never that.
Starting point is 00:50:09 No, no, it's just for Twitter. Too many turds at Twitter. Did I just dox you? I'm sorry. He was a 16-year-old. There are a lot of turds to deal with. Listen. Too many.
Starting point is 00:50:20 We're looking at the one guy who has access to the password to too many turds with a Z on Twitter. You know what that could be worth? What? I don't know. There's a lot of people in the world. Let's start the bidding now online for charity. Who wants it?
Starting point is 00:50:38 How much are you going to pay for it? For charity, we're going to auction off TooManyTurds. Let's raise some money. Have you ever been typing a tweet and you realize that you used too many words? And you're like, well, this would be blaspheme for too many turds to use too many words. We must dial back, edit.
Starting point is 00:50:56 Flush now, drop more turds later. Where are you from, turdman? Boston. Boston? Turdman. And you're visiting LA now? I live here now. Oh, you live here now.
Starting point is 00:51:09 Good place, but too many birds. This block has one restaurant called Birds, and I'd say that's too many birds. They're mean to us. We share... Like, they won't let us walk through their hallway or use their restrooms. I didn't say that.
Starting point is 00:51:28 Someday that'll change. Someday. Did you just yell preview on this podcast? One star. Try to be... Like, when you go to the bathrooms at Bird's next door, try to just go through that door that comes into ucb try to go through that door someone at birds will yell at you every time and to me it's like
Starting point is 00:51:50 someone at ucb should yell at you for coming through that door not somebody's leaving birds i don't know what their issue is why are you leaving doesn't make any sense anyway uh you each get one lifeline and and we... Oh, this guy. He's got to go to too many birds. He went the right way. He's going to too many birds right now. That's what it's called? Somebody looks like he has to release too many turds.
Starting point is 00:52:16 All this turd talk, it really gets people excited to pass their own turds. So, what's your real name? Did I ask you that already? No, it's Nick. It's Nick. Okay, Nick. Nick Too Many Turds Johnson.
Starting point is 00:52:30 It's his mafia nickname. Hey, where's Too Many Turds? Hey, we're trying to do this hit. Too Many Turds took off. Well, what are you going to do? He's got too many turds. What name are we going to do tonight, dude? Woody Harrelson. Woody Harrelson. Woody Harrelson. What name are we going to do tonight, dude?
Starting point is 00:52:48 Woody Harrelson. Woody Harrelson. Great name. Really appreciate it. He didn't come in with some bullshit. That's a genuine... That guy's been in a lot of movies. You've got to say the movie titles correctly. Exact movie title. I know. You're already like, oh, I would
Starting point is 00:53:04 have done alright if you didn't say that. But Tony gets to go first and then we'll go to Justin and then Chloe and then Steve and then Tony. Okay. I'm going to,
Starting point is 00:53:20 I'm pretty excited about this one. I'm a fan of Woody Harrelson. Him and I are both from the great state of Ohio. And I just watched this movie recently and it always blows my fucking mind how much it holds up and how great it is.
Starting point is 00:53:34 The People vs. Larry Flint. Whoa, yes. That's a good one. God damn. Good call. That's a good one. The great director That Milos Forman Just passed away
Starting point is 00:53:47 Just last week Bummer Amazing movie So good You know what he passed away from? Too much success? Ammunition and guns? Too many turds
Starting point is 00:53:57 Oh was it? Too many turds Too many turds Anal blockage That's Too many turds though At the hospitals What the doctors call it.
Starting point is 00:54:06 A lot of people suffer from the medical term. That's the medical term. That's the name of it. He passed from too many turds. Yeah. Ah, I understand. Well, he had ABs. AB is the technical anal blockage.
Starting point is 00:54:19 He had AB. Case of the old ABs. Justin, name any Woody Harrelson movie where he had anal blockage. Easy. Well, was he in White Men Can't Jump? Yeah, and don't phrase it as a question. Oh, sorry. I've got to be more confident.
Starting point is 00:54:40 More confident. Sorry. I'll up my confident meter. Where's my weird little tablet from Westworld that I can just... Anybody? No? All right. Did you watch the premiere last night?
Starting point is 00:54:52 No, no, no. No, don't spoil it, please. Is it good? Did everyone die? Is there a reason for it to keep going? Yes. Okay. Well, that didn't sound as enthusiastic as I was expecting people to...
Starting point is 00:55:02 Yeah, because only two people saw it. They're like, yeah. I think people feel forced to continue watching it. I want to watch it. It's good. It was a good first season. Y'all don't like AI? It was? I liked it. Yeah, I liked it. Okay. Anyways,
Starting point is 00:55:17 when it was over, I was like, there's no reason for more of this. And then they were like, season two coming soon. White man can't. White man can't cump. Slam dunk. Slam dunk. Slam dunked it. Jant cump. Chloe, any Woody Harrelson movie?
Starting point is 00:55:34 Zombieland. Yes. That's a good one. That's a great one for when we play Bill Murray. Steve? No Country for Old Men. Or are you just complaining about your life always
Starting point is 00:55:49 Tony another one of my favorites Kingpin mmhmm fuck me that's a good one uh cheers you guys remember him
Starting point is 00:56:00 does that count does that that counts right come on give me a break come on everybody no he's asking for cheers everyone encourage him to guess i was saying cheers off of the audience's energy like hulk hogan yeah i was like let me let me on while i say this next let me cut you off justin before you say true
Starting point is 00:56:21 detective tv doesn't count oh okay well in that case the hold on I know the name of this you got this into the world world dies Armageddon no no no world everything explodes
Starting point is 00:56:42 Woody Harrelson is in a movie about everything yeah yeah he's like a kooky guy World. Everything explodes. Woody Harrelson is in a movie about everything. Yeah, he's like a kooky guy. He's like, I'm kooky, I'm crazy. It's the guy that did Independence Day, the director. Who's the director of Independence Day? The guy? Yeah, that guy. You know what I'm talking about?
Starting point is 00:56:58 He did a movie called like... Justin is now doing fake commercials from Rick and Morty. I think he's stalling. Do you want to go to your lifeline? Let's go to your lifeline. He's in The Hunger Games. The Hunger Games. I'll go with Hunger Games in that case.
Starting point is 00:57:16 Meanwhile, I'm going to remember that. You can't even repeat it back properly. It's The Hunger Games. Alright, Steve. I mean, sorry, Chloe. Uh, I'm going to go with my lifeline.
Starting point is 00:57:28 Just, I'm going to get this out of the way. Right? It's smart. Semi pro. Semi pro. Will Ferrell. Can I, can I bust out my phone and just do a little?
Starting point is 00:57:37 No. Steve. Uh, I'll do my lifeline. Wait, wait. If she doesn't know, then do I lose? Or can I make up? If she doesn't know, then do I lose?
Starting point is 00:57:45 Or can I make up? If she doesn't know anything, she'll say, I don't know anything. And I can still say what? She'll say, I'm a completely stupid person. I'm tapping out way early on a guy that's in 50 movies. But then I can still. Yes. Okay, let's go.
Starting point is 00:57:59 Haley, let's see what you got. Jesus Christ, Barbara. Say what? Oh, three billboards outside of Missouri. That's what I was going to say. Now I think it's my lifeline. Alright, Tony's lifeline.
Starting point is 00:58:18 Fuck. Hey, Pete, you got anything? What do you got, Pete? Mockingjay Part 1? No. Yes, that is correct. You can't do that. Why can't you? Yeah, if you know the name of them.
Starting point is 00:58:31 Good job, Pete. You have to know the whole Hunger Games title, though. He said Hunger Games Mockingjay Part 1. That's different than my Hunger Games one? Yeah. It's true. There's multiple Hunger Games movies. Yeah. It's true. Yeah, there's multiple
Starting point is 00:58:45 Hunger Games movies. It's my turn now? I feel like they're really catching fire. I'm going to go... Why are you doing this? I'm going to go with Hunger Games
Starting point is 00:58:59 Catching Fire. Yes! Because that's, you know, I was doing a bit earlier, but I really totally watched all of those. You love those movies. I love, yeah, you love Woody Harrelson and all that stuff.
Starting point is 00:59:13 Can I do Hunger Games Mockingjay Part 2? Yes. Wait, Mockingjay? Mockingjay. Is it called Mockingjay? Mockingjay. Is it called Mockingjay? Mockingjay. It really is? Yes.
Starting point is 00:59:27 What does that mean? It's there's... It's the pig. Oh, never mind. Don't get into the pig. Throughout the series, they set up that there's these... We don't have to worry about it.
Starting point is 00:59:39 Steve, did everybody use their lifeline? Is that what just happened? Oh, my God. Woody Harrelson. Falling apart. Remember him in that movie? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:51 Yeah, what's it called? The Thin Red Line. Yes. And I hope it doesn't make it back here again. Tony? You know, I love Woody Harrelson. And there's so many options that I could go to right now, but I want to be very strategic about this
Starting point is 01:00:13 so that I can perhaps have a chance at winning my friend Pete here a goodie bag. And the answer that I will say, now that I must speak an answer, would be that of the answer of, and when it will sound, it will sound like this. What I'm about to say. And that answer is, that will assuredly win me the game, now that everyone is out of lifelines. There's only one answer to really
Starting point is 01:00:46 give. It would be the great and powerful answer of Hunger Games part. We already got all of those.
Starting point is 01:01:03 Oh, shit. Alright, Tony's out. What do you got there justin a little movie called 2012 that's right look it up look it up what's that about dog look it up bro 2012 what are you harrelson's in that hell yeah you serious? Yeah, it's the guy that directed... Remember, I was trying to get to it earlier. It just finally came to me. I don't believe it. Can I look it up? No. Only Doug can look it up on his little iPhone. No, I don't look it up either.
Starting point is 01:01:35 I go completely by my own intuition and what I know and he is not in 2012. Yes, he is. He's the kooky airplane driver. No. Nobody agrees with 2012. Yes, he is. He's the kooky airplane driver. No. Really? Nobody agrees with you.
Starting point is 01:01:47 Okay, wait, hold on. Who's the kooky? Is he? He's definitely in it. He's the crazy conspiracy theorist. Okay, your friend that you brought to the show, Justin, is confirming. I don't want to make it sound like we got a plant. I believe you now.
Starting point is 01:02:01 No, I believe you now. I believe it. Are you the only one in the crowd that... No. Oh, somebody's got it on their phone. 2012. He was kooky in that movie. I was thinking Armageddon, but I got it.
Starting point is 01:02:12 2012. Because we all know that was going to be the year that it was all going to go south for us humans. You're still in. You don't have to sell it anymore. Sorry. All right. That was a rough...
Starting point is 01:02:24 Good job. That was a rough one. I had to fight for that one. All right. Got it. No, you had... Lock still in. You don't have to sell it anymore. Sorry. All right. Good job. That was a rough one. I had to fight for that one. Got it. Locked in. Tony's out. Chloe's really thinking about it. I think I might win this motherfucker. I'm not in a great place right now.
Starting point is 01:02:38 Going with... I mean, if he was in No Country for Old Men. Right. Right? Just name any other Coen Brothers movie and you'll be wrong. That's so funny. Oh, shit. Justin is throwing some shade your way.
Starting point is 01:02:59 Are you trying to help me? I don't think he's helping me. Is this help? He's humming cheers. It's all right. Hey, I'm not a singer, y'all. Oh, God. Something he's cameoed in. Fucking come on, anything.
Starting point is 01:03:17 Oh, shh. He's not a cameo guy, really. He's a front and center kick the door down. He gets in there down take it and walk away type. He's got a really great career. Knock on wood.
Starting point is 01:03:31 Will Ferrell movie. Even if it all goes down. I'm not trying to cheat. I can't see anything. I'm going to go with it's going to be 1408. Oh, that's a great number one of my favorite numbers maybe i love thank you chloe that was probably
Starting point is 01:03:56 steve did you come up with another one in the interim i think larry flint 2 is still crippled still I can't think of one sorry Tony I can't think of one are you out already no no I'm totally still in it everybody knows I'm still in it
Starting point is 01:04:20 I think you're out Justin's our winner wow he was in Doc Hollywood I think you're out. Justin's our winner. Wow. He was in Doc Hollywood. He was in Money Train. He was in Wilson. What else?
Starting point is 01:04:35 Scent of a Woman. Natural Born Killers. Oh my God. Natural Born Killers. Seven Psychopaths. You guys are all fucking dying out there. Indecent proposal. And he's also Robert Wentford fucked his wife.
Starting point is 01:04:49 And you won with 2012. Yeah. I don't know how it came to me, man. That's not right at all, but it happened. Alex, come get your prizes. Where's Alex at? Right there. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 01:05:01 I'm sorry. Alex, by the way, if you would be so kind to give me that weird... Oh, see? I had to make sure that the winner was cool with it. Well, that's nice of you. Even though I said, if you would be so kind to hand me that booklet, please. You're a sweet man.
Starting point is 01:05:16 Just so you know, Justin, I'm sorry if there's any pages that are... Stuck together. Stuck together. Oh, my God. You guys have no idea. I do. My night is going to be wild. With my copy of Geeky
Starting point is 01:05:29 Dreamboats by Sarah O'Brien and Lacey Soslow. Look for it on Amazon. $12.95. Two people wrote that. Did I pay $12.95 for that? It took two human beings to write this book. Give us a quick sample passage. What kind of stuff can people read in there?
Starting point is 01:05:47 Ryan Gosling, Zach Braff, Zach Efron. All the Zacks are in here. Nick Swartzen's in there? Is that the best picture? Yeah, is that the picture? Fuck. Here we go. Let's read Nick Swartzen.
Starting point is 01:05:58 Tobey Maguire. We love him. We can't actually remember the first time we realized Nick was a bona fide dreamboat. It could have been when we heard about the prank he played on Jamie Kennedy. We laughed so hard, we actually peed our pants a little. So you can imagine our delight when he started showing up in movies. His role as John Heater's creepy stalker in Blades of Glory might have been overlooked for an Oscar, but it was not overlooked by our adoring eyes.
Starting point is 01:06:37 And then it's got his birthday, his sign, all kinds of creepy shit about him. He's a Libra. Ooh. I don't think he's a Libra. I did not know that about him. Libra haters out there. But also on the geek boat meter he's skewing way far towards geek and not
Starting point is 01:06:55 I'm assuming that's like a hunk? We'd have to flip through the book a little more to understand the physics of the dreamboat meter. We don't have a key to understand the fucking... Well, we've heard enough for now, but you'll be reading that at Book Soup on Tuesday.
Starting point is 01:07:12 I will read the entire book. I'll be at Book Soup on Tuesday. Come see me. Hopefully it's the right Tuesday. There's a lot of them. What do you got to plug, Chloe Dykstra? I have a new movie that hopefully will be coming out at some point in the near future called Diminuendo.
Starting point is 01:07:27 The trailer's out now. We're going to festivals, and hopefully it'll be on Netflix or Amazon or one of those places. Yeah, so get all those things. Get all those services, and then wait for her movie to show up. Yep.
Starting point is 01:07:41 I love it. Thank you for being here. Thank you for having me. Steve? I got nothing. Thank you for being here. Thank you for having me. Steve. I got nothing. Just follow me on Instagram, I guess. Steve Agee. Thank you.
Starting point is 01:07:53 Thanks. Hopefully Steve and I will both be on season five of You're the Worst. Oh, I'm sure of it. You're confident? Yeah, no, I'm very sure. Yeah, yeah. All right.
Starting point is 01:08:02 I'm glad you feel good because it just takes one scene where they just have a character go, hey, it's the Dutch and Doug aren't around anymore. And then we're not around, you know. Tony Hinchcliffe. Hey. This isn't the beginning of the show.
Starting point is 01:08:20 Oh, I thought we were getting started. My name's Tony. Nice to meet you guys. No, I have a bunch of stand-up gigs coming up all over the country. This is a podcast, right? Yeah. No, it's just for these 70 people.
Starting point is 01:08:36 I have a new book coming out. I went a little high on that number. I have a new book coming out called Geeky Dreamboats 2. There's no way that you have that book coming out. Yeah. I have a new book coming out called Geeky Dreamboats 2. There's no way that you have that book coming out. Yeah. I have a whole spread. Seems a little too soon after Geeky Dreamboats 1.
Starting point is 01:08:51 It has more geek boat nuggets than the first one. It's sort of different than Dreamboats. In fact, it's more like a dream yacht, if you will. It's more luxurious. Okay. Soft cover, soft cover. Soft on the outside. Kill Tony.
Starting point is 01:09:10 Kill Tony podcast. Kill Tony. Listen to it where you listen to podcasts and watch it live at the Comedy Store every Monday. And it's touring to Vegas, San Fran, Dallas, Houston, Austin, Lansing, Grand Rapids, Detroit, and a bunch of other fun places. I might show up in one of those places
Starting point is 01:09:25 Yeah you shocked the world and showed up to Phoenix Yeah I don't know why I went to Phoenix But it was super fun We had a great time Thank you Tony Justin Roiland what's going on man Are people already Bothering you about the next season of Rick and Morty
Starting point is 01:09:44 Yeah you know I have nothing to announce, but I will say... Just announce it anyway. Just buy gold, you guys. No, you're still on that? No, I'm just fucking around. But no, seriously, buy gold and silver. But more gold, and then if you can, build a bunker, if you can group together. There's enough people in here.
Starting point is 01:10:05 Create a couple of groups. Build a bunker somewhere before the nukes hit. That's my plug, man. Thank you. Douglas Movies is back here at UCB if the nukes don't hit on Tuesday, May 8th. It's two weeks from now, so I feel good. I feel pretty confident that we'll be alright.
Starting point is 01:10:31 And thank you to all of my guests, Chloe Dykstra, Steve Agee, Tony Hinchcliffe, and Justin Roiland. As always, Brian Gutierrez and Andrew Harmon are shitheads. What?
Starting point is 01:10:49 Who are those people? What the fuck? That's from my good friend Pete. That's what he said. Yeah, that's what Pete has to say. Al Gore is a shithead. You know, okay. And this,
Starting point is 01:11:01 I don't even agree with this one. I think they're misunderstood. Pitbulls are a shithead. No they're misunderstood pit bulls are a shithead no no pit bulls are not shitheads now it's time for Doug to watch
Starting point is 01:11:10 another talkie eyes of gold his viewing prowess makes him cocky there's no room in his heart for you cause Doug
Starting point is 01:11:19 loves movies

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