Doug Loves Movies - Katlyn Carlson, Julia Mattison, Seth Herzog and Joel Waggoner guest
Episode Date: June 25, 2019Live from the Gramercy Theatre in New York City, Doug welcomes Katlyn Carlson, Julia Mattison, Seth Herzog and Joel Waggoner to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies o...n Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
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Doug hates candy wrappers screaming maybe sticky seeds
With 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies! We got one extra stool.
No one died.
It's just a little miscommunication is all.
But we'll scoot this one over a little bit.
No one will notice.
Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name's Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies.
Coming to you once again
from one of my favorite places to do Doug Loves Movies! Coming to you once again from one of my favorite places
to do Doug Loves Movies,
the Gramercy Theater in New York City!
Always so much fun
to do the show here.
So many great name tags
every time. And it's Monday, June, oh,
what was that? It's Monday, June 24th, 2019. And I've hinted for weeks that tonight's show
would have a theme that it would be based around musicals because Doug loves
musicals.
So the first question I have
to ask you guys is did we make any
musical themed
name tags or
others are... Jay and Silent
Rob Strike Back is still
a legit, but I don't know why you
led with that when you got Les Mizzle Rob
right there.
That fits the theme and also is one of the freakiest name tags I've ever seen.
If anybody doesn't remember this one, check this shit out.
There's Rob.
There's Rob as Cosette.
Can you do a few bars of Castle in the Cloud?
Okay.
Fair deal.
Congratulations, Rob.
The knitting never stops with you, does it?
What's your Twitter name, Katie?
K8?
K80 Freeman.
K80 Freeman. Is this something you would make for people if they wanted to buy one?
No?
They could buy that one?
Okay.
She knitted a leg lamp from A Christmas Story.
It's not as scary as some of the other ones you've done, like the face hugger,
but it's still super duper impressive.
Oh, Saturday night, Steven.
Steven?
Steven?
Your name is Steven?
That's not true.
What's another musical one?
Do we have any other musical ones?
Where, where, where?
Oh, oh, oh. La La
Landrew. Good job.
Good job,
Landrew. I do like
the Jordan in real life, though,
because instead of Steve Carell's face on a bunch
of pancakes, it's my face on a bunch of pancakes.
And that poster's always grossed
me out. I'm like, who would put their fucking ear
in pancake syrup
and butter? That is so, so
nasty. Alright, well
good job everybody and
thank you for bringing so many
name tags.
I know I sprung the
musical's theme on some of you. You probably
weren't, you're probably maybe expecting an
all Rambo episode or something.
Doug plugs, tomorrow
night, Doug Loves Movies is back in Los Angeles
at the UCB Theater Franklin
location. This Saturday,
June 29th, DLM
is at the Improv in Pittsburgh
at the extra special time
of 2 p.m.
Yeah,
let's get it over with early, you guys.
Why the fuck around?
Just waiting until 8 o'clock at night shit.
I'm tired of it.
And I'm excited to say that Douglas movies will be part of DCM.
That's the Del Close Marathon.
Normally done here in New York, but now it's out in Los Angeles this year.
I know.
Sorry.
Probably shouldn't have brought it up here.
But it'll be at the UCP Theater out in L.A.
And I'm excited
to be a part of that. For all
my dates and deets and links, go to
DougLovesMovies.com!
That's DougLovesMovies.com!
Yeah!
Hooray!
Shh!
Shh!
Shh!
I mean, seriously, you guys.
Anyone, raise your hand if you've never been to this show
or heard of this show, like you're here tonight.
Are you like, what kind of cult did I just stumble into?
What are these, what is happening?
It's like Rocky Horror Picture Show,
but it's a movie nobody's ever seen.
And yet people all know what to yell out.
Exciting news, though.
So excited.
I mean, that's what I wrote down,
so that's what I'm going to...
That's how I'm going to play it.
Because I follow the script.
And I wrote down right here
that 12 Guests at Christmas
is coming back here to the Gramercy
on Sunday, December 1st.
And tickets are going to go on sale
for everyone that's here tonight.
As soon as the show's over,
you can just get in line outside
and avoid the... I think it's
almost like $9 in ticketing
fees that you can skip
if you just buy it right here at the box office
after the show tonight. For everybody else, it'll be
on sale tomorrow at
noon, and they'll have to
pay those ticketing...
I probably should be mentioning that
to the listeners.
Should have just kept that between me and you guys,
that those prices are so high.
Like, I've been keeping it down,
because if you sell tickets for 15,
then the service charge is four.
So these cost 19 tonight, right?
And I've been holding at that for a while
but as soon as you creep over
that amount
then the service fees get higher
and I don't think that's fair.
But whatever.
We've had a really nice long run here
and if you can't afford to come anymore
thank you for
all the times that you did come.
And now
you have more time for your knitting.
Leg lamp.
That doesn't really light up,
does it? Oh, god damn it.
Wait, you don't even need to plug it in?
Look at that shit I mean seriously we
should put that up on your wherever you sell stuff and get get it highest bidder
going on that cuz that is a nice there's a nice item I mean whatever I'm sure one
of my guests and I will pick that as their name tag. It's what always happens.
Will they be able to keep it?
Sure, she says.
How long did it take you to make it?
Five months.
Five months.
Nobody's ever worked for five months on something and then given it to Jeff Tate.
He's not here tonight.
That was his stool.
I just got tired of hearing all the chanting,
so I was like, you're out.
Yeah, don't do it.
Don't do it.
I can't wait to tell him, even when you're not there, the't do it. Don't do it. I can't wait to tell them.
Even when you're not there, the chant breaks out.
Okay, what else did I want to talk to you guys about?
Oh, dugouts.
A dugout to everyone who purchased Live from Washington, D.C.,
Douglas Movies Premium episode.
I hope that you all enjoyed it. brought a prize bag and i'd share
with you its contents now the prize bag says infinite cbd on it yeah so that's that's a cool
bag that you can keep for stuff oh and also a water bottle that says infinite CBD. I didn't bring you guys any CBD.
But, I mean, what's the rules on that?
I don't even know.
It's legal?
Okay, well, next time I'll bring a shit ton of it.
Got a Doug Loves Movies T-shirt,
Doug Loves Movies sticker,
and then this is special for tonight.
I mean, I don't know if the winner's
going to appreciate this or not.
But I'm going to give you...
The winner is going to get the playbill
from all six Broadway shows that I saw this week.
All My Son's closing today.
Beetlejuice will be around forever.
Chicago has been around forever.
Burn This closes in a week or two.
Hadestown, that's here to stay.
And so, of course, is Tootsie.
Tootsie and Beetlejuice are the only ones based on movies.
You weren't that into Tootsie?
Okay.
Did you like Jeff, his roommate?
Yeah, he was my favorite.
But anyway, there's lots to like about Tootsie,
and I don't know why I have to defend it because of you.
You are so miserable, Rob.
You really live up to your name tag.
Oh, and also, each one of those shows,
I got two copies.
I still have one for me to keep,
but I'm putting all these in the bag tonight.
And I'd like you to now please help me
in welcoming to the stage, give it up,
four.
You'll see why I paused there.
This is a tricky one.
Caitlin Carlson,
Joel Wagner,
Julia Madison,
and Seth Herzog! Yeah, high stool, baby.
Hi, guys.
Hello.
We've got, as I like to say, two old bees and two new bees.
Old bees.
Old bees, yeah.
Buzz buzz.
And I like to introduce you all individually,
starting with the lady all the way on the other end.
It's her first time on the show.
Give it up, everybody, for Caitlin Carlson.
Hello.
Hi.
Created the role of Chloe in Be More Chill
right here on Broadway.
And way before that.
You've been playing that part for years.
Yeah, when the show first premiered in 2015
in Red Bank, New Jersey at Two River Theater.
Yeah, you know, the show kind of died back then
and it was revived last summer
and now we're on Broadway until August 11th,
so come fucking see us.
Yeah, they don't swear at you like that
when you come to the show.
They keep it all amongst the characters.
I'm really fucking sorry.
Just yelling F-bombs at people.
But so much fun, and yeah,
it's going until August 11th.
And our friend George Salazar, Michael in the bathroom... Oh, yeah, it's going until August 11th and our friend George Salazar
Michael in the bathroom
couldn't make it tonight
because he's in the bathroom.
Oh, he's in the bathroom.
It's fun trying to get
Broadway people to do a show on their night
off because everybody's got
so many things that they have to do
in that one night
and many of them are benefits.
You know, singing at an event
of some kind. Yeah, so you've
all been through that except Seth, maybe not.
But...
I've seen some theater.
Let's say hello
to Caitlin's right.
It's Joel Wagner, everybody.
Hi.
This isn't a benefit?
I thought this was a benefit.
No.
I only go to benefits on my night off.
I might be dying, so we could call it a benefit.
I'm dying slowly, but Joel is now a cast member
in Be More Chill for the next seven weeks.
Yeah, yeah. Till like July 9th, I think. Yeah, nice. a cast member in Be More Chill for the next seven weeks. Woo!
Yeah, yeah.
Till like July 9th, I think, July 9th.
Yeah, nice.
So maybe not seven weeks.
But July 9th
is when you'll be there till.
So go, you know,
I mean, go see it whenever,
but that'd be great
to see Joel in it.
And you are,
you're playing
three parts in it?
Yeah, I play like
six or seven
or eight parts.
But what are the big ones?
What are the ones that...
I play a dad.
The depressed dad that's always in his underwear?
Yes, the dad that's always in his underwear.
And the guy who plays my son is 31, and I am 34.
So you can do the math there.
And then I play a drama teacher.
Typical. And then I play a drama teacher. Typical.
And then Pride Week.
And then I play like a dancing monster,
you know, a scary stock boy, things like that.
Does the dad have a name, or is it just Mustachio Dad?
Actually, when they put my mustache on me the first time,
because I went on in the middle of the show,
because the guy who normally plays it tore his calf muscle in the middle of the show. They didn't have my mustache on me the first time because I went on in the middle of the show because the guy who normally plays it tore his calf muscle
in the middle of the show. They didn't have my mustache
ready yet and so it was this giant
like Monopoly guy
mustache that covered
my entire mouth
and it looked like the Lorax
so I would say I sort of was the Lorax
is the name of the dad.
Otherwise Mr. Here
is that character's name.
Mr. Here, H-E-E-R-E, right?
Yeah.
Wow, he really took it down there for a second.
I've just never heard that name before.
And then that spelling.
It's creative.
It's creative.
That monster costume?
Yeah.
Don't you feel like Masked Singer stole the looks Yeah. Yeah. That monster costume? Yeah. Doesn't it remind you,
don't you feel like Masked Singer
stole the looks of the monster character
from Be More Chill?
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah.
It's got a very similar look to it.
The one T-Pain wore on the show.
You're right, there are no eyes.
Yeah.
It's just one mouth that you look through.
Big fuzzy weird thing.
This is a great joke for all the people
who have seen
both the mess zinger
and be more chill
that group
of four people
are going to love this
the middle of that
Venn diagram
is very skinny
yeah
no it's really
it's not
it's a diseased
Venn diagram
I mean VD
is right there for the taking.
No.
Yes.
No.
Yes.
No.
Also here, it's a, sorry to use the expression again, a hold B.
It's Julia Madison, everybody.
Hello.
Happy to be here. And an old bee.
Old bee, yeah. I guess actresses don't want that. That's not a great nickname for you.
I prefer. I feel like I'm only playing old women these days, which is great because then I can just keep playing old women until I'm an old woman.
And then you'll never know.
Yeah, you could fucking Abe Vigoda or Wilford Brimley that shit.
They were playing old guys in their 30s.
She's been 68
for 30 years. Yeah, exactly. I'm a mystery
to everyone. I'm Maggie Smith.
How old is she
really, you know? And then Dakota Fanning comes
in and plays young B. Yes,
she would. And then the goal
is, as we discussed, playing a
woman with dementia in a wheelchair on stage
who stares and says nothing,
which is a lot of plays and musicals these days.
A lot of musicals.
Oh, yeah, no musicals.
It's only plays.
That would be really sad for a musical, I imagine.
Maybe it could be beautiful.
Notebooks coming out.
That's true.
That's going to be a musical.
But there's no scenes
of the young people.
That's true.
It's just her
trying to read the book.
We had to cut those for time.
Yeah.
It's just a lot of
songs that the singing
is very phlegmy
and the lyrics
are often forgotten.
They just hum
through parts of it.
It's a tap show.
It was the fifth of...
You know,
that kind of thing.
Seth Herzog is here,
everybody.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Earned it.
Earned it.
Thank you.
You guys go out and see him every Tuesday night at his show here in town.
But it's monthly.
It's monthly now?
Sweet.
My former weekly comedy show is monthly, and it's at the Chelsea Music Hall,
which tomorrow night.
It should come tomorrow night if you guys are looking for something fun.
Chris Gethard and Dan Soder and myself.
How big is that place?
It holds about 200 people.
Nice.
That's great.
You guys should all come tomorrow night.
All right.
9 p.m.
Sounds bigger, though.
Yeah, it sounds like it's as big as this, but it's like a nice basement theater.
Okay.
Yeah.
You don't call a basement theater a hall.
That's what I'm saying.
They're really trying to confuse everyone.
Yeah.
I think they're going somewhere that's fancy, but you're just handcuffed and you have to
stay there for the night.
That's really all that happens.
Tell them that I think they should call it the attic.
Even though it's in the basement?
Really, yes. Really fuck with expectations.
The Chelsea Music Attic?
I'm here for the attic downstairs.
I actually kind of like it.
Yeah.
Now, since you've been on the show before, Seth,
you know that it's very important to bring an item.
Yeah.
Or two or three.
Some people go crazy with it.
Yeah, for the prize bag.
What do you have for this visit?
I have some fun stuff for the prize bag.
Yeah, so you say.
We'll be the judge of that.
We'll see how much fun.
Wrapped up, even though it's plastic,
wrapped in bubble wrap,
a Stella Retoire
Pilsner glass,
if you like beer,
or if you don't.
Yeah.
It's not going to break.
It's not going to break
even if it's not
in the bubble wrap.
No, it wouldn't.
It's just plastic.
But now with the bubble wrap,
it won't even chip.
No, nothing.
Not a dent.
No problem.
It won't even scratch the paint
on the side of the plastic.
A couple
other things I brought.
If you like
literature and the Fonz,
Henry Winkler wrote this
fictional book called
Alien Superstar, about an alien
becomes a movie star.
So you can enjoy Henry Winkler's book.
When did he do that? I don't know.
That must have been...
I'm going to say
sometime after Happy Days
but before Bear.
Yeah, I'd say
this is how he filled
that lull in there.
Yeah.
I think that musical
is in development.
Yeah, yeah.
Actually.
Alien Superstar?
I mean, this is YA
or something though, right?
It's for kids?
You mean like
why are you asking?
Also, this is YA or something, though, right? It's for kids? You mean, like, why are you asking? Also, this is a free, uncorrected proof.
Yep.
Not for sale.
If I'm going to be honest with you, it has not come out yet.
That is like a galley of a book that's coming out.
Oh, it's a little preview of this.
It's a preview.
So I'm not selling it.
I'm handing it out.
Yeah.
I'm not breaking the law.
Nope.
So how was it?
The book?
Yeah.
Oh, I read every word before I picked it up from someone else and brought it here.
It's amazing.
It's so funny.
It's about an alien superstar.
Grandma Wrinkle.
Yeah, Grandma's name is Wrinkle.
She's already a hit.
Grandma Wrinkle and I had planned a new identity for me,
knowing that when I got to Earth, I was going to have to look human.
Sounds like he's already got the sounding human part down.
But those are his thoughts in Alien,
but they had to translate it. They translated it for the book?
Henry Winkler Knows Alien?
Henry Winkler Knows Alien.
Oh, now with Winkler and Wrinkle,
I'm liking it even less now.
I didn't like it from jump.
He thought for four days on what the name should be.
Winkler.
Winkler.
Winkler. Just doler. Winkler. Winkler.
Just do a barely anagram.
Yeah.
Just drop,
take that R off of there.
For those of you.
You move the R,
that's right.
Yeah, just move it around
a little bit.
Move it over by the W.
Who have,
still have DVD players.
Oh.
For the four of you
who still have DVD players.
What are they going to get
to watch?
Amazon Studios screeners of Hannah,
TV show Hannah.
You get episodes one through eight.
Is that a good show?
And five through eight.
Wait, you don't even get the whole season?
No.
One through four and five through eight.
And then you got to just figure out the rest.
Wait, no, that sounds like one through eight.
That sounds like the whole thing.
I don't know if it ends at eight.
There might be ten episodes.
Okay.
All right, so that's it?
That's all I got.
All right, well, I mean, that's pretty good.
Yeah, yeah.
Do you want to ask me anything?
Thank you.
Thank you.
Good stuff.
Winkler, be proud. You want to talk about anything? Thank you. Thank you. Good stuff. Winkler, be proud.
Do you want to talk about anything else?
Nuh-uh.
Anything you want to plug?
No, we got to, you know.
All right.
We'll do some plugs at the end.
Okay.
Movies I've seen or anything?
Yeah, we'll get to that part.
All right, okay.
What'd you bring for the prize, Meg Julia?
Oh, I brought...
I feel like a good...
Have you guys seen Bathtubs Over Broadway yet?
Has anyone seen that?
Yes.
Okay, you guys should watch it.
It's on Netflix now.
It's neat.
It's neat.
It's about this guy who collects all these records
of all these old industrial commercial musicals
that no one's ever meant to see.
This was a huge thing, I guess.
And I only learned about it this year, but in a strange way, because the commercial musical is
alive and well. This year I wrote an Olay musical. It was one night on Broadway. It was a 45-minute
musical about face cream. And it was basically The Wiziz uh with face cream they went to four friends on a journey
you know very original and i had a lot of champagne and took all the swag i could and these are the
last three items of swag from that event which is ole eyes for dark circles wrinkles and puffiness
it's very nice tried it myself uh an ole energizing mist which is really nice. Can we all just do
Is it open? Yeah. Yeah, let's all
take a shot of that.
It's really, really, this one I genuinely
love. I'm like, I will get behind this product.
Seth likes to run through it.
Yeah, yeah.
Really brings him back to his childhood.
Doug, would you like to try it? It's just water.
Yeah, and it smells nice. Just water.
Oh, yeah.
There it is. That was a good mist. Oh, it's got a nice. Just water. Oh, yeah. There it is.
Wow.
That was a good mist.
Oh, it's got a nice scent to it, too.
Nice scent, right?
Yeah.
And energizing.
You wake up in the morning.
And this, yeah.
That's just maced.
No extra turns.
It's just a gentle mace.
It's a really gentle mace.
Get on your tongue.
It's very sweet.
Oh.
That's the move.
Refreshing in every way.
Yeah, that's nice.
If the home audience only knew what just happened.
Oh, yeah, exactly.
For all you listeners at home. And the last one I have is Olay Calming Liquid Cleanser with, you guessed it, Hungarian water essence.
The only water essence.
Did they bring that in from Hungary? Yeah. No, no, it's just essence. The only water essence. Did you bring that in from Hungary?
Yeah. No, no, it's just essence.
It's just the vibe.
It's an empty jar of essence.
Do I have to declare all of this essence?
Yeah. What is Hungarian water essence?
I leave it to you to decide.
And so that's it. That's the story.
Olay! That is amazing.
Yay!
Could you give us a sample lyric from the Olé industrial musical?
Oh, sure.
Fragrance free.
Aloe cucumber and tea.
Hungarian water essence.
And the chance to finally be.
Sensitive.
Treat yourself right.
Sensitive. see the light
etc.
Yeah!
Thank you.
Yeah!
You know,
don't know how to rhyme
really with Hungarian
water essence
so you're just gonna
sneak it in
where you can
and rhyme with
things around it.
That's the key.
Songwriting,
you know?
That's that.
The only thing
I can think of
to rhyme with essence
is Donald Pleasance.
Pleasence?
You just throw in a Michael Myers riff.
Joel?
Yeah?
I'm very excited about what you brought.
I'm not being facetious.
You know what, though?
I'm feeling so energized from that spritz.
Right?
Right, listeners?
I'm telling you.
Okay, so the first prize is my father's dowry.
No, I'm kidding.
But I am single and it's Pride Week, so...
The first thing I brought was this scratch-off ticket
that I discovered in my bag,
and it is worth $2.
Now, it is like Indiana Jones Fragile,
so you have to be careful with it
because it might fall apart.
That is dumb.
Or disintegrate before the night is over.
And the other is the CityMD urgent care first aid kit
that fits in your pop.
There's antiseptic in there.
Be safe.
And some bandanas.
Band-aids.
Bandanas.
I saw it coming and I thought, let's just say it.
But yeah, that's my
epic contribution to tonight.
Thank you so much.
$2 can really do a lot these days.
$2 is a lot. You can get like a whole sub now
at Subway, right? They've lowered the prices.
For $2? $5.
$2 foot long.
We're coming for you. That part's not in it.
Why did you cash in those two bucks?
You walk by the place every day, right?
Absolutely forgot, yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Caitlin, Katie.
All right.
So Doug suggested smartly that I bring some Be More Chill swag.
So, yes.
Half of it, I brought a bunch of things.
Half of it is Be More Chill, half of it is unrelated.
Oh, thank you.
So the first thing is the bag is part of the prize.
It's a Be More Chill. It's a beautiful Be More Chill bag.
Which we all love.
We like to fold them up and put them in a small space
and forget to bring them to the grocery store.
A Be More Chill sippy cup.
Unused, I promise.
Pristine.
Shubert Organization.
That's our employer.
I fucking love sippy cups.
Especially ones that are super chill.
Oh, yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like, if they're going to take our straws away,
we should just transition into all sippy cups.
Yeah.
You can barely spill it.
Agreed. So this is where it really goes off the sippy cups. Yeah. You can barely spill it.
So this is where it really goes off the rails thematically.
Okay.
So this is a cool gift that I got as a teenager many years ago.
But I promise it's pretty pristine.
I've just kept it.
It's been sitting on a bookshelf in my guest room for a long, long time.
This is a gift that my parents gave me when I took AP Psychology.
It's a psycho box!
A box
of psychological games!
And it's like
full of shit that you look at
and it's like, is it an old lady
or a young woman?
You know, like that kind of thing.
My ex-boyfriend must have that.
So there's some fun stuff. You'll have a
grand old time. That is a lot less chill.
Significantly less chill.
Psychobox is really the opposite of be more chill.
I know.
That's what makes you know it was made in the 90s and not currently.
And finally, Hungarian Essence googly-eyed glasses.
Oh.
Oh, those are cool.
Oh, that's great.
And I kind of hate to part with these. I would keep those if I were you. No, that's great. And I kind of like hate to part with these, but...
I would keep those if I were you.
No, they...
No one would be mad at you for keeping those
because they're amazing.
All right.
So all of this stuff.
Yeah.
Someone's going home with all this junk tonight,
but just one person,
and we will determine that in a little bit.
But before we do that, like Seth said, I've got questions.
Starting with, you know what it was, Seth.
What was the last movie you saw?
If you die today, what was the last movie of your life?
This would be weird.
It would always be my maybe, yeah.
The Netflix movie.
The Netflix movie.
It's a feature.
Oh, yeah.
No, I'm not Steven Spielberg.
I don't mind Netflix making movies.
Yeah, yeah.
It's super fun.
I hear nothing but good things.
I loved it.
And could you verify that Keanu Reeves is funny in it?
He's so great.
Oh, so good.
Those who have seen it, he is so great that his character of him playing himself in that way should be its own film.
And you know what you mean when you see it.
Like, he plays a version of himself that starts normal and goes into a very weird spot.
Okay, all right.
Well, I mean,
it's already a weird spot to me
because it's a romantic comedy
and he's not one of the leads.
No.
So, like,
it's already a comedy
and he's the comedy relief?
Yes, yes.
Like, that's,
I can't wait.
He's very funny.
I mean, I can wait, obviously,
because I haven't watched it yet.
But I do intend to see it
and that helps push me in that direction. Yeah, yet. But I do intend to see it,
and that helps push me in that direction.
Yeah, and Michelle Buteau is super funny in it,
and Ali Wong and Randall Park wrote it for themselves.
Yeah, good for them.
Yeah, good for them.
Good for them.
Yeah, that's what I said.
Let's write one for us, Seth.
Yeah, we should, right?
Hey, Netflix, we're writing a movie.
Give us $4 million.
That's how this works, right?
Oh, really?
We get the money up front?
You get the money up front,
and you can do whatever you want with it.
Oh, I thought we'd have to show them a script or something.
Julia, do you know the last motion picture you saw?
Yesterday, I went to the theater and saw Booksmart.
You did?
I did, and I loved it.
Really enjoyed myself.
Beanie.
It's so damn funny, that movie. Beanie Feldstein.
That whole cast.
Beanie is the best.
Love Beanie, I know.
So good.
And a musical theater person herself.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
To tie it all together, you know?
Yeah, I felt like, you know,
that movie felt to me like a wackier Lady Bird.
Yeah.
You know, because it was still Beanie,
and then that Caitlin Dever, she's great.
It's in, in like my top five
of those last day of
high school before our lives changed forever.
In one night? Yeah. I mean Can't Hardly
Wait was a big one for me. I really enjoyed
Can't Hardly Wait. And I feel like it's up in there.
Top five of that genre?
I couldn't name five in that genre.
American Graffiti. That's the genre.
I'm confused.
Super Bad. Am I crazy?
Super Bad.
Super Bad.
That's the top three.
Super Bad was last day of school?
Just about.
It's more than like if we don't do it now.
We gotta get this in.
American Pie, right?
American Pie.
All the American Pies.
American Pie.
It's in my top five movies that have a ticking clock.
Yep.
We gotta get this done by this time.
Back to the Future.
So Smokey and the Bandit.
Back to the Future, Ticking Clock.
Cannonball Run and Booksmart.
And Spellbound.
Same category.
Bridges of Madison County, that clock.
She's coming home.
Right?
Yeah, they've got to get it done.
Top five movies with enigmatic women.
Just mysterious
underwritten women.
Yeah, I was going to say
enigmatic because the man wrote it.
Exactly.
Runaway Bride.
Runaway Bride, sure.
This gentleman ran into the room.
There's a problem out on the street with a runaway
bride. Runaway Bride.
Somebody get her.
Help, there's a runaway bride on 23rd.
We don't know if she's going to run to Lexington or 6th.
Don't stop her.
She probably has a reason.
So let her be.
Let her be.
Right.
That runaway bride, she was crazy.
She had sneakers on under her dress.
She was ready to run.
She knew it was happening. Yeah, that poster. She had sneakers on under her dress. She was ready to run. She knew it was happening. Yeah, that
poster, she had sneakers on, man.
Are you going to a race or a wedding?
I don't know. We'll see.
We'll see which one it turns out
to be. Joel,
last motion picture you saw.
I don't mean to hit you with these hard balls.
No, I don't mind hard balls. It's Pride Week.
Actually, the last movie I did see was Almost Be a Baby.
I had food poise this week.
And it was bad.
So is that where you're poisoned but you look really good?
Yeah.
Food poise.
Yeah, I had food poise this week.
So I did watch that film.
But before that, I don't know if you guys have seen on Netflix.
You probably haven't.
There's a series of television shows
on a fake channel called Slow TV,
and it's a Norwegian channel
with up to eight to ten hours
of just events that occur over a long period of time.
Wow.
So you can have the TV on at all times.
So when I was really sick on Thursday,
I watched a direct from sheep to sweater
knitting competition
that took six hours.
It was a six-hour film.
It was sort of a film,
but it was like a documentary,
but there were interviews,
and it was a documentary
of basically watching a sheep be shorn,
spun into thread,
and knitted by Norwegian women whilst chatting,
and they finished a sweater
in that time.
Do you get to buy the sweater
at the end?
I don't know.
I think so.
What do they learn in the end?
What do they learn?
Yeah.
Actually,
I think it's a competition.
I think one of them wins.
I don't know if they win.
But yeah,
that was the last.
Besides Always Me,
maybe that was the last thing
I watched.
Okay.
That was Phil Mech.
And Keanu Reeves and surprise
entrance is so
as the sheep was so
good oh my lord
amazing I thought he
was bad
but check it out
slow TV slow TV
there's a lot of
options it's a real
network you're saying
or slow TV that
sounds like the
channel I'm on. Yeah.
I'm on the 420 channel on Pluto TV.
Katie?
So my real answer is
Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion.
I love that answer.
So great.
But I'm going to tell you,
it was a palate cleanser to Vox Lux.
That was going to be the last movie I watched before this,
because I knew I had to have one in mind.
I was like, that's a fun, weird one to say,
and it fucked me up,
and I had to watch Romeo and Michelle's High School Reunion.
I haven't seen it yet.
Okay, so if you haven't seen Vox Lux,
it's if Lady Gaga happened because of a school shooting.
Oh, no.
So real light, very unpretentious.
The credits roll backwards
during the beginning of the movie.
It's like...
Oh, no.
So, go see it.
Hence...
Yeah.
Hence, Roman Shell.
That movie's part of a series of films, maybe,
by the same filmmaker that have the word...
I mean, he made other movies.
Lux or Vox in it or something, but...
I don't know.
Who's the actor in it?
Well, Natalie Portman is the Gaga.
Oh, Natalie Portman, okay.
I think Brady Corbett is the director-writer,
sort of a young auteur.
Oh, yeah.
So maybe it's part of a fucking, like,
triptych of weird-ass films. He part of a fucking like Brady Corbett
he made that name up
Brady Corbett
I assume it's John Corbett's son
Brady Bunch and a John Corbett
poster next to each other gave him his name
yeah
he totally
Kaiser Soze'd that shit I get what you're doing
yeah yeah yeah
I just saw that in another movie recently where somebody Totally Kaiser Soze'd that shit. I get what you're doing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I just saw that in another movie recently where somebody, oh, Elton John decides to call himself Elton John
because there's a picture of John Lennon on the wall.
Really?
Okay, if you say so.
That's my favorite thing in any film or TV show,
the panic of the, uh, bar, uh, speaker.
I'm bar speaker.
Every time it happens, it cracks me up.
No one can think of a real name.
No.
Any character.
Doubtfire.
That's happened the same way.
Doubtfire, yeah.
Did it?
Yeah.
Doubtfire, dear.
Was that on the vacuum or something?
Has anyone ever seen a Doubtfire on the newspaper?
Like police Doubtfire was caused by whatever.
And he's like, oh.
I can't do it. No, it's fine. Me either. Doubtfire, dear was cars. Plus, whatever. And he's like, oh. I can't do it.
No, it's fine.
Me either.
Doubt, fire, tear.
Oh, it's fire, tear.
But that trope was parodied brilliantly in Wayne's World 2,
which is like a low-key, wonderful movie.
Absolutely.
It's like Wayne's World.
Who's going to be there?
Aerosmith.
Old man flashing a kayak out of a log.
Rip Taylor.
And then he was.
That's true.
And then Rip Taylor was there.
That's very true.
Yeah. Well, he shows up everywhere. Rip Taylor and then he was that's true and then Rip Taylor was there yeah well
he shows up everywhere
you don't have to say
his name three times
no
just once
alright so everybody
answered that one
we got through that
that worked
that worked out
pretty good
yeah
feels like a lot
my cocktail is gone should we order That worked out pretty good. Feels like a lot.
My cocktail is gone.
Should we order new drinks?
Yeah!
There's no waitstaff to speak of,
but they just might magically appear.
I'm having a vodka soda,
Tito's and soda, or Ciroc, or whatever the hell.
I'll have a Tito's and Cran,
because I'm trying to get rid of this UTI.
Nice.
I'll do a
Tito's and Soda, another Doug special.
Oh wow, we're all doing that?
I'll do the Tito's and Soda.
Just bring a big
punch bowl of Tito's and Soda.
I'll do a Tito's and Cran because I'm trying
to get rid of Seth's UTI.
Nice. I'd like to get rid of Seth's UTI. Nice.
Yeah.
I like to spread that around.
Spreading.
Wait, what?
Spreading my UTI around.
Gross.
Yeah.
Just stands for utility.
All right, I got a bonus question.
Yeah, Seth, this one, you're not ready for it.
I'm not ready for this, Joey.
It's going to come flying at you.
All right.
But since I wanted to make this night
a celebration of musicals,
what's your Favorite movie Musical
Seth Herzog
Oh my god
I have many
First one I thought of
Is
What popped into your head
Scrooge
The Albert Finney
Musical
You know that one
It's crazy weird
Trippy
Version of
A Christmas Carol
But it's a
Musical
And that's that
That song's in that one
Thank you very much Thank you very much.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me.
And they didn't do shit for him when he sings that song.
No.
I love that movie.
We watched it growing up.
Isn't it great?
It's a Christmas Carol.
It's a Christmas Carol.
It's a Christmas Carol.
Every song is weird.
That's excellent.
And it's shot in that British time
when they shot The Prisoner.
So everything is trippy and unacid.
It's a great song by Carol.
You're flat.
Oh my God.
Do you have a favorite, Julia? Oh, my God.
Do you have a favorite, Julia?
Now I'm on the Christmas train,
so I'm only thinking of Muppet Christmas Carol,
which is a favorite,
but specifically the one that has The Love Is Gone in it,
because they cut it because it was too sad.
Oh, I got a boo.
Come on.
The love is gone. It's so sad. Wait, I got a boo. Come on. The love is gone.
It's so sad.
Wait, there's more than one version of this movie out there?
So Muppet Christmas Carol, in its entirety, fantastic.
They did a new cut where Michael Caine and what's her name?
The woman that he's in love with, Scrooge.
They sing this heartbreaking song on a bridge where she's like, I'm leaving you.
They sing The Love Is Gone and he cries.
And they were like, it's too sad for a kid's movie.
So they cut it in the future ones,
but that song is dope.
It's so dope.
Full cut.
Isn't it with Chloe Sevigny or something?
No, I don't think so either.
Wait, maybe.
I don't think it's her.
Do you think?
Does anybody know?
I don't know.
Great movie, though.
It's an old lady, though, right?
It's Michael Caine, right?
It is Michael Caine.. It's an old lady, though, right? It's Michael Caine, right? It is Michael Caine.
So it's an older lady.
But a young woman.
Oh.
Because he's being young Scrooge in the past.
It's Christmas past in the story of the Christmas Carol.
But he's still him?
He's not played by a younger dude?
He is, but then he pushes the younger dude to the side
and stands behind the young woman that he used to love.
Maybe that's why.
Maybe that's why they cut it. It was a little creepy looking.
We're Marley
and Marley.
It's a hit.
It's a hit.
I want to see that now.
Seth, I forgot
the full question when I asked you.
Let's go back to you. What's your favorite musical and perform some of it for that now. Seth, I forgot the full question when I asked you. Let's go back to you.
Okay.
What's your favorite musical?
And perform some of it for us now.
All right, here we go.
I am the ghost of Christmas present!
And that's all I know from that.
Yeah!
Who is that, Gonzo?
It was Gonzo.
No, no, the thing with Scrooge, he does a song.
Which Muppets are what, though?
Which Muppets like Jacob Marley?
The Sattler and Waldorf.
Or Marley and Marley.
Oh, Sattler and Waldorf.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And they're like,
mine was dead, mine was dead.
I've been dead the whole time.
Nothing more dead
than watching a room
with these people.
You know, it's great.
They got bits for days.
Gonzo is Cratchit.
Yeah, no.
Do they?
Gonzo is Charles Dickens.
Oh, he's Dickens.
Kermit is Cratchit.
Kermit's Cratchit, yeah.
And Piggy is...
Kermit saved the best part for himself.
...his wife?
Is Bunsen Honeydew the ghost of Christmas Future?
Because he's a scientist.
Oh, he tries to get money for the charity, I think.
Yeah.
Is that right? Yeah. Yeah, I guess they have to work them all in there somewhere. Yeah, he tries to get money for the charity, I think. Is that right?
Yeah.
I guess they have to work them all in there somewhere.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
One of the best things about that film
is how every actor takes it as earnestly as possible.
Oh, yeah.
It's Michael Caine's best role.
It really is.
We're not joking.
It is extraordinary acting and performances in this film.
Yeah.
Oh!
Hey, thanks, guys.
Oh, good.
I don't know. Yes, thank you. Pass the cranberries around. Thank you. Yeah. Oh! Hey, thanks, guys. Oh, good. I don't know.
Yes, thank you.
Pass the cranberries around.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Yeah, the cranberry on the...
Yeah, perfect.
They nailed it.
Well done.
Thank you.
Yeah.
I'll see you guys
on December 1st,
Gramercy Theater.
Plug.
Yeah, throw that in there
in case they missed it
the first time.
In case anybody's just tuning in.
I love that gag.
Did I ask you, Joel, already your favorite?
No.
You know, there are so many,
but the first one that came into my mind,
and I don't know if this totally counts,
correct me,
because I'm a huge musical fan, obviously,
but man, that
original Willy Wonka is just so
good. Amazing.
100%. Amazing.
Now perform some of it.
I want to feast.
I want
to bean feast.
Whatever that is.
Why did you want a feast of beans? I just think that's
so amazing. I want a feast.
I want a bean feast.
You're 12.
I always thought she was saying big feast.
No.
Bean feast.
Bean feast.
Bean.
A bean feast.
When you're so rich, you can't think of anything normal to have a feast of.
Who the fuck are you?
What were you raised on?
I want something poor.
People eat beans.
Give me beans.
Tati, I want something poor. People eat beans. Give me beans. Daddy, I want beans now.
That's my favorite line in the entire show.
She's thinking of it.
I want a feast.
Yeah, she's really like,
I want a bean feast.
Listeners, you won't be able to see that moment
that I just acted out for you.
He had some real acting out.
He really nailed it.
What do I want?
That's the craziest thing she could think of.
I want a doubt fire. I want? That's the craziest things you could think of. A doubt fire.
I went to a bean feast.
You just saw a bean
in the corner.
A bean feast.
It was a drive-by
bean feast.
I saw you seeing
the beans.
Thank you.
That helps me.
So good.
Wow.
Do more.
There's so much good stuff.
The Candyman College.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Right now.
Your mouth moves so much.
That's what he said.
Pride week.
Pride week.
Hashtag pride week.
Hashtag pride.
Is it supposed to be Christmas related?
No
I think it just turned out
to be
because everybody
just got on a
on a roll there
but you know
it's true though
that I bet you
most musicals
have a sequence
at least one sequence
with Christmas
yeah like
happens a lot in musicals
because it's a good time
for the press you know, another ticking clock.
Oh, Christmas is coming.
Yeah, oh, God, Christmas is coming.
Oh, shit, Christmas just happened.
How are we going to solve this by act one?
Well, if we're doing Christmas ones,
then The Tinseltones wins starring Tia Lowry of Tia and Tamara fame.
And Tori Spelling.
I've never heard of this movie.
Just check it out.
It will take me too long to talk about it.
Just go.
The Tinseltones.
Where do we see it?
There's a singing competition at the mall.
And Tori Spelling heads up one group.
And Tia heads up the other.
Wow.
Wow, wow, wow.
What happens?
A lot of cracked out Christmas arrangements.
Do they ever switch places?
I can't tell you.
This is my plug, by the way.
Tinsel Tones.
That's all I got.
Can you give us a taste of it?
Absolutely not.
It's that special.
It's that special.
You gotta experience it, you guys.
I wouldn't know where to look for that.
Maybe it's on YouTube.
Probably not.
No?
I'm sure it's Google-able.
It's Tori Spelling's finest work.
She wouldn't bury that.
No, no, no.
She was saying she stepped over that low bar that was on the ground.
It was actually a soccer field.
It was just painted on the grass.
She walked over, sang a little song.
There's a 12 Days of Christmas that's like four times as fast as like
anyone should do anything.
So it's worth watching.
Oh, they sing 12 Days of Christmas way too fast.
Five golden rings.
Because I get impatient with that part.
I like that part to be sped up.
They always lay too hard into five golden rings.
Just fucking spit it out already. We have to hear sped up. Yeah, exactly. They always lay too hard into Five Golden Rings. Oh, yeah. Like, just fucking
spit it out already.
We have to hear it
12 times.
Yeah.
12 goddamn times.
That's the best part
of a caroling disrupter.
Yeah, Five Golden Rings
is like, that's the one.
Everyone wants
to be that one.
Yeah.
You speed through the others,
but you get like a real solo
in there.
I think the whole
Eddie Izzard bit
about people running in
from the other room
to,
Five Golden Rings! That's a little Eddie Izzard bit about people running in from the other room. Five quarters.
See, it's so long you didn't even bother finishing it.
It takes forever.
It takes forever, yeah.
For no good reason.
It's like an Appalachian chant.
Time comes.
See you next year.
I'm not even going to finish it.
Katie, do you have a
favorite? Well, my real answer is Little Shop
of Horrors. Yay!
Yeah.
Sure. Great choice.
I mean, it's just so brilliant
and great, but my Christmas
answer
is the feature-length TV
special, Pee-wee's Christmas
Special.
Good choices. Two-p Special. Oh, good choices.
Wow.
Two punch.
Do some of it.
Well, there's like KD Lang like drunkenly running around.
I don't even remember what she's singing, but she's like making out with Globie and
like laughing maniacally.
And then like Grace Jones comes out as like a robot and sings like Little Drummer Boy
or something.
I wouldn't deign to do impressions of these people um come they told me
that's the one was that katie lang no grace jones that was grace jones julia that's how she does it
she was statuesque because she was a literal statue during either you're recognizing them
or he's terrible at doing it i don don't know. I don't know.
I can't tell.
And then those three ladies with guitars
like walking in a winter wonderland.
Like the three ladies in white in guitars.
Little Richard's in it.
Little Richard's in it.
That I remember.
In case you weren't familiar with that.
He's going to make a great ghost when he's gone.
Instead, I'll just do an impression of Terry
when any of the times he goes,
good one, Pee-wee.
He's a very supportive friend.
That is a good...
That's good.
Good Terry impression.
I mean, now that we're into the impressions,
I want to keep going.
Who's got an impression
that, you know,
people never hear?
Do you have one, Seth,
that's unusual?
I do Benjamin Harrison.
He fucking kills it.
He was our, like,
14th president.
And you do him doing what?
What's the setup?
He's at like a
CVS.
And he's trying to do
the chip card. He doesn't understand it.
He does this whole monologue about I don't understand
why we had to get new cards with chips
in it when the old card works really well.
And now I gotta sit here and put it in.
Are you doing the impression now?
Yeah, now it's happening now.
Oh, that was it?
Yeah.
Because it kind of sounded like you were saying what he would say in the impression.
No, that's what he said.
That's what he said.
But you weren't doing it yet.
No, Benjamin Harrison, it's a little high.
It's like, what's up with this?
This is kind of weird.
Like, he had a high-pitched voice.
It's very weird.
He's probably never seen one before.
He's like, that's brilliant.
Okay.
Yeah. And that's it? that's brilliant. Okay. Yeah.
And that's it?
That's all you got?
Yeah.
He does a speech I don't want to talk about.
Julia?
I've been doing a lot of Elizabeth Warren recently.
And I feel like I like to sing as her more than I like to speak as her.
So I'll go into it.
Well, folks, here we are at Doug Loves Movies,
and I'd like to sing a little song from my favorite musical.
This is from Annie.
Maybe far away
Or maybe real nearby
He's sitting playing piano.
She's sitting
straightening his tongue.
Thank you.
She just got my vote.
Hey, that's right.
She's going to go on
American Idol.
Joel, do you have any
fun ones? I'm terrible
at impressions. Do you want like a
singing impression? I love singing
impressions. Well, I don't know. I don't have a singing.
I've been practicing my Natasha Leone.
Oh, I love it.
It's fucking hard, you know.
That's bad. Hold on.
I had it really fucking going, you know what I'm saying?
Like, fuck this shit. This sucks.
Say cockroach.
It sucks. Cockroach.
I don't know. I'm not really good with impressions.
What do I need? A vocal impression.
This is... I'm tanking.
This is what it's like.
I don't know. Like, Blink-192.
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na 192. Yes.
Yes.
It's that syllable shift that does it.
That syllable shift.
Well, you do a Lord one that's so good.
Oh, yeah.
This is Lord saying corn.
Corn.
Corn.
Corn. Corn. Young female vocalists have like signed some kind of blood treaty to like
name every vowel when they say any vowel.
The vowel is sometimes way.
They put glottals on like the beginnings of words
that don't have them like.
I love your smile.
Your hair is soft.
Your hair is soft?
Your hair is soft.
It's beautiful.
Your hair is soft.
The air is soft.
You're so good.
Wow, let's skip over me real quick.
Julia, you need to set up that impression with,
this is Lorde at the cafeteria
choosing between zucchini and corn.
Because then they will have heard corn normal once,
and then you'll just lay into that corn.
Yeah.
She's working with Chipotle.
I'm, I'm, I'm corn.
There's four R's in the way she spells that.
Hey, Lauren, what's your favorite band?
You know that one that plays the bagpipes?
Cone.
Wet Papa Roach.
Hey, Lord, what's your favorite Nadia Imbruglia song?
Charm.
What does your boyfriend watch when you're not at home?
Grace and Frankie. All right.
That concludes first impressions.
Oh, wait.
Katie, do you have one?
Well, now I'd rather just kill myself.
I used to do a Katie Holmes, but
it's been a while.
No, that's so good.
Not
impressive anymore.
not impressive anymore.
Woo-hoo!
Yeah, she needs to, you know,
get out there more.
She's like,
people are forgetting about her.
She's contractually not allowed.
She came to be more chill.
She did, but, you know,
that was a special occasion.
And Suri came with a fringe on top.
Oh, that was a deep joke.
Oh, boy.
That was an Oklahoma exclamation point joke.
Yes, yes, yes.
Oklahoma, okay.
It's just not that rousing.
It's just okay.
Oklahoma, so-so.
All right, so.
Oh, man.
I'm going to have a great time.
I'm having a really good time here.
Yeah, you guys all did amazing impressions.
But now we're going to move on.
We're moving away from the talent portion.
Oh, Lord.
And Sue's next.
Yes, yes, yes.
People are ahead of me.
Everybody.
Oh, these are so good.
Let the games begin.
Are you kidding me?
Wait.
Ladies and gentlemen.
Look at that.
You have to pick a name tag
It's so elaborate
You have to physically get your hands on it
Are you going for the leg lamp?
I knew that would get picked right away
If you actually know movies really well
Shake vigorously
We'll be back
In a moment
After these messages
We'll be back
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Back to the show.
We're back.
No thanks, I don't want any Donettis.
What's that?
Donettis.
Oh yeah, these are Donettes.
I get rid of them.
I toss them.
Can we toss them one by one?
If you want to.
If you like a more time-consuming version.
You can throw them really hard though.
Here, give me one off of there.
Who's got a big sign I can hit?
Oh, there's a good one.
but who's got a big sign I can hit?
Oh, there's a good one.
I do not know why the audience never tires of this.
Oh.
All right. Let's talk name's good. Someone hit Tim America.
We're out?
Let's talk name tags.
Good sign.
You still have another package.
Who are you playing on behalf of there, Seth?
I got Larry.
Larry did this great poster of the Larry Horror Picture Show,
which, to be honest, is my favorite, you know, movie musical,
which I should have said when you asked me,
but I thought of that Scrooge thing first.
But this is my favorite.
It's got Brightman as Riff Raff,
Your Frankenfurter, Jeff Tate as Magenta,
and then Trey Gallen as Columbia.
Which I wish I'd give this to Trey,
because no one would ever imagine him as Columbia, ever in a million years.
I often call him Little Trey.
Do you really?
Yeah.
Lil Trey.
Instead of Lil Nell.
And this is great.
You got the font exactly right.
You really nailed it.
Yeah, good job, Larry.
Very impressed.
Good poster.
There you go.
And look who got leg lamp.
Look who got leg lamp.
This is Katie.
A Katie Miss story.
Did you knit this? Mm-hmm. Fullyar leg lamp. This is Katie. A Katie Miss story. Did you knit this?
Mm-hmm.
Fully knit leg lamp.
Took five months.
Lantern lights inside of it.
A functional lamp.
I'm blown away.
And you can watch her knit it on Netflix.
On her slow TV for six hours.
Callback.
This is really incredible. Do you want to keep that, Julia? Yeah. For six hours. Callback!
That's really incredible.
Do you want to keep that, Julia?
Yeah.
Because she says you can have it.
Wait, I can have it?
Well, I'm hoping to... I'll hope to do well enough that you can win,
but maybe should I just lose on purpose now,
and then I can just...
No, I'm going to try to win.
If I win, I'm going to keep it.
And if you lose?
What if I lose? She's going to throw it. I'm going to keep it. And if you lose? What if I lose?
She's going to throw it.
Break it.
It's going to be at Housing Works tomorrow.
This is really, really beautiful.
All right, Joel, who are you playing for?
Hey, I got cloudy mic balls.
Cloudy with a chance of mic balls.
Cloudy with a Chance of Mike Balls. Cloudy with a Chance of Mike Balls.
Based on, first of all, based on the children's book,
which you need to read first because the illustrations are both haunting and specific.
The film is actually really good.
I haven't seen Cloudy with a Chance 2, but the first one is surprisingly moving.
Oh, it's very funny, too.
Very funny and moving.
Like most good films, Julia.
You want both?
Yeah, I want both.
You want both.
You want to have a Pixar experience.
So, yeah.
And I got some Mike and Ike mega mixes here.
Great.
That's what we're playing for.
That's what I need in my candies, a mega mix.
I just wait for the beat to drop whenever I eat candy.
That's why you don't stop and I wait for my blood sugar to drop
until I eat candy
what do you got there Katie?
Jill would you hold my UTI
medication?
again?
so this is Kent Hardly Wait,
which is one of my favorite formative teen movies.
And you can see here, Doug, you are Ethan Embry.
Oh, okay.
I'll take that part.
There are two burrito cards affixed to the top corner.
How much are those good for?
Yeah, burrito, Kent, I guess that's your...
Eight bucks, probably? Each? Yeah, burrito, Kent, I guess. Eight bucks, probably?
Each? Damn.
Alright. You got two
$10 ones and then only spent two bucks on each?
What?
Nothing.
And, um, wait,
who's this? Is that a friend
of yours? Oh, that might be him.
Oh, that's you. Oh, shit.
Oh, you guys are so cute. Oh, good for you.
Right on.
Yeah, they're in the movie now.
That's on the poster.
That's, um...
Is that, uh...
Oh, who else was in the poster?
Yeah.
Lauren Ambrose.
Lauren Ambrose.
That's the one.
Yes, who, of course, played Eliza Doolittle
in the recent production of My Family.
Good omen that I couldn't remember
the name of the actors in the movie. The girl who's locked in the bathroom
with Seth Green and they had their night
together. That's right. They lose their Vs.
Great role. Yeah. Apparently she
can wait.
She can.
Here's your medicine. Thank you.
Alright, so those are the folks you'll
be playing on behalf of
this evening. I've got
a few games here
for us to play and whoever prevails at the end they'll win all the prizes for
that person and then Julia will go home with a lamp it's very exciting high
stakes that's my prediction I think you all met him backstage I'm very excited
about a special guest so I want to bring out here right now because we're going to play a little game called Doing Lines with Dale.
Dale Cheeseman is here.
Woo!
There's a microphone right there behind the speaker there up front and should be hot, ready to go.
Listen to you.
Hello, Doug.
I can sing too.
So intimidated.
Hey.
You were sharp.
I rehearsed this one line 30 times back there for an hour.
That was great.
So what's going to happen here?
And thank you for being here, Dale.
How's it going?
It's going great.
How are you?
I'm good.
Well, we covered that?
It's fine.
Do you have anything to plug?
Anything coming up that people should check out?
Yeah, real hot calendar.
In January 2020, I'll be in Houston, Texas with Trey Gallion.
Check it out.
Tickets are not on sale for months.
Mark your calendars.
Just write January.
Dale's coming.
I'll get at you all individually.
It'll be fine.
And of course, your Twitter handle is what?
Dale Cheeseman 4.
We all know it.
We love it.
We follow. It's great. Yeah, know it. We love it. We follow.
It's great.
Yeah, everybody here already follows you,
but just for the listeners so they can check you out.
I thought it was Cheeseman, like a superhero.
In many ways, it is.
Many ways?
Two ways.
People point when they see me and kids laugh.
So Dale Cheeseman
is going to say
a line from
a motion picture
and I asked him to make it a musical
to fit the theme tonight
and then all of you just use your
microphones and guess as often
as you like until somebody gets it right.
And I don't know what Dale's going to do, so I'll let you know if I think I know the answer.
No audience answers, of course.
This is a serious game up here.
All right.
You ready, Dale?
What's that thing where, like, you take a couple steps?
Is this a line from the thing?
No, no, no.
I'm just wondering.
This is a Broadway question.
No, but I do that every night in the show,
and I ask myself the question while I do it.
What is this thing I'm doing when I step closer to the line?
You're finding your line.
You're going downstage.
First step is just to leap into the...
But you're also stepping into the unknown.
Right.
That's beautiful.
Thank you.
You're looking towards what...
All right, so we got techniques worked out.
You're just going to get into it.
See, this is what I love about this city.
No matter who you are or what you are,
you got to want it bad enough and work with what you got.
La La Land?
No, no, no.
We can just guess willy-nilly.
I think I know what it is.
I think I know.
You can say it whenever.
Guys and Dolls?
No.
Damn it, fuck.
It's okay.
It just doesn't matter.
Any other guesses?
Oh.
Because he's got other lines from the same film.
All right.
All right.
I imagine he would.
It must be weird.
Yeah.
That's it.
Thanks for coming, Dale.
We'll never know.
Should have picked a better one.
All right.
The inspector's here.
Quick, braid her hair.
You blow on this.
Put this back together.
I was about to say West Side Story,
but then he said braid her hair,
and I don't remember that scene.
Say it again slower.
Something about an inspector.
Is it not clear?
Alright, here we go.
The inspector's here. Quick.
Braid her hair. Play with this.
Blow on this. Put this back together.
Annie? That's it. It's Annie.
Annie!
You did it, Joel!
May he rest.
That's the Daddy Warbucks line, right? Keep going. I'll tell you which one it is. You did it, Joel. May he rest. May he rest.
Oh, thank you.
That's the Daddy Warbucks line, right? Keep going.
I'll tell you which one it is.
Girl, that ain't no...
That ain't no...
What's her name?
Will Smith Annie?
Is that the one you're talking about?
Yeah.
The Bonjeanay Wallace?
The Bonjeanay Annie.
Where Cameron Diaz plays Cameron Diaz.
She finally gets to come out.
This is me.
Yeah.
In the movie Bad Teacher, Cameron Diaz plays Cameron Diaz. She finally gets to come out. This is me. Yeah, exactly.
In the movie Bad Teacher,
Cameron Diaz plays Cameron Diaz
in Cameron Diaz the movie.
I like that theory.
Yeah, I would agree.
I like it very much.
She's got a thing going.
But that was from the,
what was that,
in the 80s when that Annie
came out that you were quoting?
This is 2014.
Oh, this is,
so you were doing Blanny? 2014 Annie. Oh, this is...
So you were doing Blanny?
Oh.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's doing Blanny.
Oh, oh.
You know what?
I guessed wrong.
Guessed wrong.
I guessed the wrong Annie.
We wanted the Carol Burnett.
Well, we didn't know which Annie you were thinking.
You didn't have to say that.
I'm just kidding.
I did think Blanny.
I was thinking Blanny.
Blanny.
Yeah, because that first line sounds like some shit
that Jamie Foxx probably says, right?
That is correct. Bonus points.
I'm going to be honest.
I didn't remember there was a second Annie.
I'm going to be honest.
I'm going to be honest.
My taste in musicals is what's known as terrible.
So I googled it
and Annie begins with an A.
So it was like at the top
of the list. But then when you search musicals, all they got are the songs. They don't show
them just talking. So this took some work to get that bad.
The book of a musical, a real challenge to wade through. It's all songs, you know?
It's the unsung hero of the musical is the book.
Yeah, literally.
It really is, though.
Literally.
You can see a show
with an excellent score
and it sucks to sit through
and that shit won't last.
It just won't.
Yeah.
It's the truth.
Name three.
Three what?
We'll get in trouble.
Yeah, shows that have
no book.
That have no book that have no book
or an actual
excellent score
lame is
shitty book
there's always a book
oh like a sung through though
no just like a badly
written one
oh
yeah I mean
I feel like we're gonna
this is our profession
we shouldn't answer this question
we do not speak poorly
I will say that
Sideshow
is an amazing score
it's super juicy
but the book is like
it never works
barely we roll along never works But the book is like, it never works. Barely We Roll Along.
Never works. But the score is excellent.
Anyway, it's enough.
Yeah, now you're talking plays and
books with Bocher. Both are just out
of my... Totally. Unless we're
talking Harry Potter, then both are in my
reference score. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, thank you so much, Dale.
That was amazing. Alright.
Thank y'all very much. That was it. All right. Thank you all very much.
That was it?
We soon won?
Yeah.
Yeah, that's it.
All right.
Yeah, Joel won that game.
Mike, those balls aren't going to be cloudy for long.
Okay, now let's all review Dale's acting.
I thought, you know, most people at his level don't know what to do with their hands, but he was
really using his hands a lot.
You almost felt like he was on stage.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think guiding with the hands is an important
choice. Yeah, it was like Zach
Galifianakis was happy.
Alright. Thanks again, Dale. All right.
Thanks again, Dale.
This next game is called Whose Tagline Is It Anyway?
We'll start with you, Joel.
I'm going to say a tagline from a motion picture.
We've already established that these are movies
that have music in them.
And that's what we're all
about here today, mostly
I'll say the tagline
you get one guess, Joel
if you can't guess it, then we'll move
to Katie
Nice stretch, get a nice stretch
a deep, deep stretch
you're going to need every fiber for this
hashtag Pride Week Stretch, Joel. Deep, deep stretch. Deep squat. You're going to need every fiber for this.
Hashtag Pride Week.
Hashtag Fiber One.
Anal. All right, Joel.
What motion picture had the tagline,
he just landed the gig of his life, fifth grade?
And this has music in it.
Mm-hmm.
It's a musical movie.
Mm.
He just landed the best gig of his life.
May I have the language of origin, please?
He just...
In English, he just landed the gig of his life.
He or she?
He.
Thank you.
I mean, sorry.
Now we should say they.
I'm kidding.
Yes.
It's 2019.
He just landed the gig of his life.
Fifth grade.
Fuck.
So this is...
Katie, do you think you know it?
I think I do.
Yeah, so...
This is...
I wonder if it's an older gentleman
who is coming into fifth grade
or if it is a kid who's fifth grade.
If it's like a Billy Madison situation
or if it's like he is a young person
really coming into it
in that fifth grade there.
You're fucking stalling.
Wait, this is...
Is there a time limit here?
Yes.
Do I get the day?
You're out.
I'm out, obviously.
How much time do I have?
No, that's fine.
I give up.
We'll come back to you on the next one.
It's not really a big deal.
Thank you.
Katie? I might be totally off base. It's not really a big deal. Thank you. Katie?
I might be totally off base
because it's not a musical per se,
but it's a movie with music.
Is it School of Rock?
That is correct.
Which is why it's hilarious.
Which one?
He was in.
Joel was in School of Rock on Broadway.
He was in the first scene.
I feel like this question was formulated for you.
That's so embarrassing.
School of Rock.
And you're welcome to totally delete that part out of this.
I was in School of Rock on Broadway for two and a half years.
But that's not something...
Did it have a different tagline?
There was no tagline.
The tagline was, here's your insurance.
They had something painted on the side of the building, right?
God, now that I hear it over and over again, I'm so angry.
Now there's no more rules or something like that.
Ironically, School of Rock did its first off-Broadway tryout in this theater.
Literally here.
Wait, ask it again.
Literally here.
Wait, ask it again.
Pretend you don't know it for like four seconds.
He just landed the gig of his life, fifth grade.
Cloudy with a chance of mic balls.
School of Rock.
That's right.
That's how it should have went.
First try.
That's how it should have gone.
All right, Seth is up next. Oh, yeah.
All right, Seth is up next.
Oh, yeah.
A miracle, Seth, a miracle of a movie musical.
Say it again a miracle
of a movie musical
okay Seth is out
I wouldn't say I'm out
I would say
I'm you know
married
but
it is probably.
The listeners love air quotes.
Yeah.
They heard it in the voice
on That Talented.
Let's go to Julia.
Can I make a guess?
Okay.
The Wiz?
No.
Okay.
Julia.
The only thing that's
in my head is not
I keep thinking of Michael Stern starring John Travolta.
And I was like, ah.
And then I just went on this whole thing.
I was like, wouldn't that be a great musical?
And so the answer is I don't have an answer.
What was your thinking?
Was Michael starring John Travolta when he's an angel, right?
That's not a movie musical.
I really wasted my extra seconds to
prepare I Have Nothing.
What do you think, Joel?
My first
instinct was Fiddler on the Roof, because
Wonder of Miracles, which is super
in. My second thought, I thought, was like, of course
not. It must be Glitter with Mariah Carey.
But that's not it either.
I can feel that from you.
I mean, I don't think anybody's calling
glitter a miracle
unlikely event maybe
but not a miracle
we all survived it
and that's a miracle
that's a tough one Doug
Katie indeed that's a tough one Doug Katie
um
I think I know what the
I can't remember the title I think I know what movie it is
I can't think of the name of it which is a bad
situation um it's like the one
with Jenna Maloney where she's like in Catholic
school it's like saved
saved
there's no music in it
there's no kids thing about God um that music There's no music Well Mandy Moore's in it Some kids sing about God
That's true
And they made it into
A musical later
Because I remember
I auditioned for it
In Chicago
Maybe that's why
I'm thinking of that
Not Saved is it
Is it Saved
Is it Leap of Faith
Is it something about
Like faith
Save the prayer
Yeah kind of
Yeah it's in that realm
Oh Sister Act
Sister Act Sound Sister Act.
Sound of music.
Okay, raise your hand when
I say this title and you were
in a production of it. Godspell.
Joe Jesus.
You were in Godspell.
Literally, Jesus. I was in Godspell.
I was.
See, that's the
whole point of this game, Joel,
is just sneak them by you.
You sneak them on you.
You have no idea.
You don't think it's that.
Yeah.
That's so funny.
Yeah, the miracle of the movie musical.
He must have a podcast.
He must.
We're back to Joel.
And Joel gets this one.
And I think you're going to get it, Joel.
The year's most delicious romantic comedy.
This is not a musical, I should say.
I've fucked that up.
It's not a musical.
Did you think it was when you looked it up?
The movie's not a musical.
But did you think it was?
No.
Okay.
Do you wish it was?
Kind of.
I mean, I like the movie very much,
and my biggest problem with the Broadway version of it
was that it wasn't as good as the movie to me.
But, you know.
Is the Broadway version a musical?
OK.
Yeah, that's where I screwed up.
Waitress?
Correct.
That's right.
That's right.
Your beau.
Yeah.
When he's not wishing Grace and Frankie,
he originated Waitress.
Yeah, he did. That's true.
Fun fact.
Which way were we going?
Caitlin's next? That way.
Yeah.
Okay.
What movie that later got turned into a musical on Broadway had the tagline,
You will believe.
Well, it's not Dear Evan Hansen
because that's you will be found.
You will believe.
Okay, what do people believe in?
Santa.
You will believe.
God? God?
You're not believing until you believe.
Oh, okay.
You will believe.
I'm moving.
Oh, I got it.
What is it?
No, don't say.
Don't say.
Don't say.
We got to go to Seth.
You will believe.
Is it an older musical?
Can you give me hints?
It won't help.
I don't know.
Seth.
Okay.
The movie is not a musical per se, but the Broadway version is.
Yes.
Yeah.
I have a couple ideas.
Is it Wicked?
What's the Wicked movie?
That's not even about Santa
No it's not about very little
Very little Santa in Wicked
Very little but they should have made it more
Julia
You will believe
That's so general.
Yeah.
It's really just so general.
But forceful.
But forceful.
You will believe.
I think I know it.
Fuck.
The color purple.
I love when you get it wrong
the look on Doug's face kills me every time
it's like disapproving dad
who doesn't know why he's still your father
that's exactly the face
no I'm just thinking about
what an odd
tagline that would be for color purple
believe in what
I don't know.
Abuse?
No.
What's after that?
What's after the abuse?
Who's the MAGA hat wearing guy who's like,
I won't.
What's your guess, Joel?
Well, I'm doubting it now,
but I was going to say Book of Mormon.
Right?
What movie, though?
It's not a movie.
You're right.
It's not a movie.
But they do say I Believe a lot in that show, for sure.
It looks like Caitlin wants to guess again.
I do.
Is that allowed?
Is that part of the character?
I guess so.
It is now.
Do we keep going until we get it right?
I think we should, yeah.
Finding Neverland
no Seth
Jesus Christ
that would have worked though
Superstar
no Julia
believe
hair
no
cats
Aladdin
Joel Joel Joel
no Caitlin
there are no more musicals
we named them all
no what do you believe in?
Genies?
Not genies.
It's a musical on Broadway, but not as a film.
Is it on Broadway now?
Can I guess again?
Yeah.
Big.
No.
You will believe that it can turn into a boy through a psychic toy.
First of all, let's have a huddle.
Something is not real.
Oh, I love this.
That needs to be believed.
We're getting together to try to work it out.
What is that?
What's some sort of fantasy?
But what was a movie that wasn't musical?
Ghost.
No.
Who said ghost?
I did.
Caitlin is our winner!
Ghost.
Ghost.
Who would have thought that huddle would produce inspiration
another of the many
things I don't believe in
I literally thought
the huddle would produce
you knew it
you knew it
and ghost
I just didn't believe
that that was a musical
yeah that's true
another great score
bad book
we're gonna collect
everyone is like
I'm gonna go
we've listened to that
it also had lots of
like magic stuff in it like effects that were magical, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, like where someone would disappear or appear like a ghost.
Yeah, it was like a Criss Angel mind freak kind of show.
Some of the actors haven't yet been found.
That's true.
That's what Dear Evan Hansen is about.
That's what Dear Evan Hansen is about. That's what Dear Evan Hansen is about.
I believe it.
You will be found.
You will believe.
How's everybody doing?
You guys ready?
Can we do one more game?
Yeah.
What's the score?
The score is that Kaitlyn is the best.
She is winning.
Damn it.
Damn it.
It's only temporary
Just means she gets to go first in this next game
That's not even an advantage
It kind of is but you're right
It's not
And then you'll go first in this game
And then we'll go to Julia
Seth will go in that order
But
I'm not going to play along
because all the answers
are written right here.
Fair.
Because tonight,
I like to do this
when I'm in New York especially,
but in general,
I love this game.
Let's play a round of Bennington.
That's the...
I saw our friend Ron Bennington today
at his show,
and he says hello to everybody.
And it's a box office game.
So what happens, Caitlin and Joel,
is I will name an actor or actress
and then you have to try to guess,
you just get to guess one title of their films
that you think finished in their top three movies
of all time, according to Box Office Mojo,
after ingesting for inflation.
Love.
Yeah, so it's tricky.
A lot of math.
So the idea is...
You have to do a lot of math.
I'll name somebody.
Just try to think of their biggest movie.
That's basically the way you want to go there.
And if you get anything in the top three,
then you score some points.
And I'll add it up, and we'll declare a winner.
And we'll get back out into the hot streets.
Wow.
Yeah, hot, steamy streets.
Caitlin, the films of the great Julie Andrews.
The Sound of Music. Okay, she'ss. The Sound of Music.
Okay, she's going with The Sound of Music.
What do you think, Joel?
What would you like to select of the films of Julie Andrews?
Mary Poppins.
Okay.
Julia?
Princess Diaries.
Oh.
Saif?
Victor Victoria.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Was that a big hit?
Everyone saw it, paid money for it.
Yeah.
That's true.
There was no other way to see it at the time.
Right. You just have to search for
slow TV and then it
pops up.
Coming in at number three
for Julie Andrews,
Shrek 2.
Wow.
Sad. If Shrek 1
and Shrek 3 are the other ones.
There's a Shrek 3.
There's a Shrek 4. Sherek 3 are the other ones. There's a Shrek 3. There's a Shrek 4.
She wasn't in all of them.
Oh, God.
They keep coming
like the Land Before Times.
I'm looking forward to
Shrek 5-0 Goes West.
Oh, God.
Oh, that could be a good
Purple Rain Man.
Okay.
Coming in at number two, Mary Poppins.
Two points for Joel.
He's on the board.
And then, of course, coming in at number one, The Hills Are Alive, The Sound of Music.
I knew you had it.
So coming in first did work out for her.
It did work out.
It did work out.
I can't just say what she said.
You can't.
You don't want to say that ever.
You're a professional comedian.
I find myself saying it a lot.
All right.
So what we do each round
on this one is we rotate
so everybody gets a chance
to go first.
So Joel, you're first up
on this next round.
The films
of Emily
Blunt.
Oh, that is an
excellent category.
Wow. I'm going to go ahead and start with
Devil Wears Prada. Okay.
That's coming to Broadway, I hear.
Yeah, Elton John and our dear friend
Shayna Tao.
Right in the music.
Nice.
I think I found Miranda Priestly.
I'll talk to you about it after.
Oh.
I think you might agree with me, Julia. Oh, I'm excited to hear your opinion.
But they'll probably want to get somebody famous, though.
Okay.
But I think this lady that I found would be great.
Where'd you find her?
She was passed out on the 6th.
Hey.
Hey, but she really,
there was something about her
was really like,
that's...
You seem mean and quiet.
There's a quality.
That wasn't a question.
That's all.
You seem ready to lash out at people.
Okay, so, who said what?
Joel said Devil Wears Prada.
What's yours, Julia?
Films of Emily Blunt.
I feel like A Quiet Place did well.
Love A Quiet Place.
Maybe.
I don't know.
Horror movies don't usually.
Let's move on to Seth.
Sheth.
Sniff.
It's gotta be
a girl on a train.
I don't even know
if that's the right title.
Katie?
Aside from Gorilla Train.
Gorilla Train?
That was a different movie.
That was a different one. That was a different one.
That I saw.
It was earlier in her career.
That's true.
It's a companion piece that Dunstan checks in.
I think you guys probably nailed it,
but I'm going to go with Edge of Tomorrow.
Oh, yeah.
Smart.
Live, die, repeat.
You're good at this.
I have an alternate guess if mine doesn't work out.
Okay, well, we'll see.
We'll see how they all work out.
Coming in at number three, Devil Wears Prada.
Well done.
So my alternate guess is...
Gives Joel one more point.
What was your other guess?
Mary Poppins Returns. Oh, right. That's right. What was your other guess? Mary Poppins Returns.
Oh, right.
That's right.
Right.
That's right.
Mary Poppins is your...
Number two, firmly blunt, is Mary Poppins Returns.
And number one is A Quiet Place.
Yes, yes, yes.
That was going to be my guess.
Yeah, none of that. None of that in a quiet place
don't do that don't make that noise
although I was going to call it
don't say a word
which is a different movie with Brittany Murphy
yeah
I don't want to live in
I don't want to live in the world of a quiet place
where you just can't have a yacht race
because the starter horn will just get everyone killed.
Hey, Lord, what did he just say about a starter what?
Hi. Oh, my God.
Julia, you get to go first this next round.
We got a three-way tie, Seth.
Yeah, with who?
Hey, Seth. Yeah! With who? Hey, Seth.
Everybody else.
Nowhere to go but up.
You got this, buddy. You got this.
But Julia gets to start and it's the films of
Cher.
Ooh.
Ooh.
Oh, God.
So many possibilities.
Honestly?
Mamma Mia, here we go again.
Okay, okay.
Maybe.
Those things do well.
Yeah.
Not burlesque.
Not burlesque.
This is my impression of Cher in that movie.
Girl.
All right.
Seth?
Moonstruck.
Since she said Mamma Mia, which I was going to say.
Caitlin?
Caitlin?
Mermaids.
Hmm.
Interesting.
Wow, that's a really small
golf clap for that movie.
Ooh, mermaids.
Yes.
Quiet.
Does that cranberry juice
clear up golf clap?
What's that?
Um.
Um. Joel
Hi
She wasn't in Splash
She was
I want you to name every movie she's done
She's in every mermaid movie
Little Mermaid
She was not in Stuart Little.
I'm going to...
Listen, I can't remember right now,
which makes me so eee,
because I saw the musical
and it said all those movies.
I'm going to have to go ahead
and say Burlesque
just because it's on the top of my head.
Yeah, that's fine.
I mean, Cher's not in a super lot of movies,
but coming in at number three
was, of course,
Mamma Mia, Here We Go Again.
What?
Yeah, and at number two, The Witches of Eastwick.
Oh.
Which is also a musical.
Is it?
Did they do that?
It's a strange musical, yes.
Oh, I bet.
Yes, there's a ballad in it called Loose Ends.
Loose Ends.
Loose Ends.
Everyone's favorite ballad.
Are you talking about their hair?
I don't know.
What are they referring to?
That's split ends.
What?
It's about the book.
What are they referring to?
I don't know.
Pride Week.
Pride Week.
Loose Ends.
Hashtag Loose Ends.
Well, one of you is about to make, like,
oh, forget it.
One of you is going to,
never mind.
Stop trying to say it.
Now you have to say it.
All right.
Number one I'll slip that thing in later
That was weird
Number one is
Moonstruck
Four way tie
Four way tie Four way tie
No because
Julia's ahead with four points
I'm ahead leg limp is mine
That's unbelievable
So how many points did I get there
You got three
Yes
Joel has three
Caitlin has three
Julia has four
and I do have a tiebreaker
if this next round doesn't settle it
and you get to go first this time Seth
fuck yeah
tear it up
I'm gonna blow it
no offense Larry
hashtag Bradwick
hashtag loose ends No offense, Larry. Hashtag Bradwick.
Hashtag loose ends.
The films of Colin Firth.
Wow.
That is a body of work.
An extensive... He's been in some stuff.
Bridget Jones' Diary.
Okay. I mean, that's a giant hit. Oh, okay. an extensive he's been in some stuff Bridget Jones Diary okay
I mean that's a super
that's a giant hit
oh okay
oh boy
Caitlin
okay what is the algorithm
for box office mojo
are they basing it on
the actual actors
like
is it like IMDB
like he's the biggest star
of this movie
or like that's what grossed
the most
the most even if they have a teeny, that's what grossed the most.
The most.
Even if they have a teeny part in it. That's what grossed the most.
But after adjusting for inflation.
The musical Ghost.
I mean, Colin Firth's not been around long enough
that you have to worry that much about inflation adjustment.
But it can be quite shocking sometimes
how different the results are when you inflate.
This is the last question
of this game,
so it might be
some surprise shit,
but I'm going to go
with Love Actually.
Okay.
Not the big star of the movie.
I don't know.
I'm giving away my strategy.
It's fine.
Okay.
What do you think, Joel?
I'm going to go
with Paddington 2.
Yeah. Paddington 2 is fantastic. Paddington 2 Paddington 2 is fantastic Paddington 2 is the only movie
so good
the only movie?
yep, all movies cease to exist at the beginning of Paddington 2
is this like the movie Yesterday?
where none of us remember any other movie except Paddington 2
the only movie nobody even except Paddington 2?
The only movie.
Nobody even remembers Paddington 1.
Yep.
It's just all Paddington 2 from now on.
It's like Troll 2.
There was never a 1. There was never a 1.
Hello, Hugh Grant.
Fuck you, Nicole Kidman.
Because she was the villain in the first one.
Okay.
That's your answer?
Just double checking.
I'm concerned.
Yeah, yeah.
All right.
And who's left still?
Julia?
I'm putting all my chips on Mamma Mia.
I'm going to do it again.
I'm going to see if it'll give me some luck twice.
Said no one ever.
I'm putting all my bets on Mamma Mia.
Except Abba.
You're a high roller.
That's true.
Coming in at number three,
Mary Poppins Returns.
All right. There's a theme. That's
what I meant to say. Number
two, Shakespeare
in Love.
Somebody
goes, no.
And the number
one movie in Colin Firth's
filmography,
and closing out, a wonderful edition of Doug Loves Musicals,
Mamma Mia!
Julia Madison is our winner tonight!
She did it!
She's, yeah. she did it sees
yeah
look at
google eyes
are
in effect
all for
Katie
wait
was
was Colin Firth
in Paddington 2
I don't think
he was
I think
he was with
did you just want to
talk about Paddington 2
Hugh Grant was in
Paddington 2 Colin Firth and Hugh Grant and Bridget Jones's Diary I think your was with... Did you just want to talk about Paddington 2? Hugh Grant was in Paddington 2.
You're right.
Alan Firth and Hugh Grant in Bridget Jones' Diary.
I think your brain mixed them.
My British men.
I think I meant to say Mary Poppins Returns.
Those are very different movies.
Now, are they?
Yes.
The googly eyes look good on you.
Anyway, but see Paddington 2.
Missed.
Okay, let's play a speed round really quick.
All right, great.
Yeah, just because I've got it written down,
might as well play it.
And it is interesting to me.
So each of you say, in any order...
Can I still win?
What?
No, no, no.
The prizes have been awarded to K80 Freeman on Twitter.
If you want her to knit you something.
If you need something knitted fast, and you have five months to wait for it,
she's your girl.
Nice.
Can vouch.
It's beautiful.
I mean, what are you going to do with that, Julie?
Are you going to give it to somebody for Christmas?
I mean, we're talking centerpiece in my living room.
Does it really plug in and work?
It's beautiful, yeah.
Yeah, the light's in there.
It works.
You don't even have to plug it in, apparently.
I mean, I love Christmas
stuff. Maybe it'll be year-round, maybe it'll be
just for Christmas time, holiday
time, you know. Don't tell us
though if it's just in a closet 11 months out
of the year. No, of course not, of course not.
Alright, just for
fun,
first one you could think of that you think's
in her top three, just yell it out,
and we'll gather up what everybody said
and we'll see who did best.
The films of Meryl Streep.
Mamma Mia!
It's worked.
What else?
What else?
Oh, just in movies? We're just shouting out movies
of Meryl Streep? Adaptation! Sophie's Choice. What else? What else? Oh, just in movies? We're just shouting out movies? Yeah.
Adaptation.
Sophie's Choice.
Out of Africa.
Okay.
So we've got... Oh, is this the box office game still?
Oh, I...
So we've got...
I was so blind when playing.
Mary Poppins Returns.
So Seth says,
Mama Mia.
You say Out of Africa. I was thinking like, what is Meryl Streep in it? Mary Poppins returns. So Seth says Mamma Mia. You stay out of Africa.
I was thinking like, what is real sweet in a...
Mary Poppins returns.
You changed it.
He changed it.
All right, Sophie's choice.
Fine.
And Caitlin said Adaptation.
Adaptation.
Just for inflation from the 90s.
Yeah, I'm sure it's huge.
Death Becomes Her is the real choice.
Death Becomes Her.
All right, so let's see which one of you...
I keep forgetting it's a musical thing.
Let's see which one of you did the best.
Coming in at number 13, Mamma Mia, Here We Go Again.
Number 10, if I may skip a few, Into the Woods.
Yes.
Then we go all the way up to number six.
Before mentioned, Devil Wears Prada.
Yes.
Number five, Mary Poppins Returns.
A little more popular than Sophie's choice, apparently.
But here's where this game is so fun.
Coming in at number four,
Mamma Mia.
Hey!
Yeah, don't get so proud of yourself
because that leaves three more movies.
The Deer Hunter.
Number one, Kramer vs. Kramer.
Wow, number one?
Right? That didn't seem that big, but just for inflation.
Wow.
Maybe do some bad math.
And they came up with Kramer vs. Kramer.
But her number two movie is Out of Africa.
Wait, I'm on fire tonight.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Where the hell is Adaptation?
Is Adaptation even on the list?
I don't even, yeah, I don't know how deep it went.
I mean, I'm sure.
It was a meta film.
I'm sure it did better than Iron Weed.
Iron Weed? Yeah, she's in a movie called Iron Weed. Yeah, she is. I've never heard of it than Iron Weed. Iron Weed?
Yeah, she's in a movie called Iron Weed.
What about Heartburn? Where's Heartburn?
I thought it was called Iron Woman.
That's a different movie.
She's in both.
Meryl Streep believes in getting a lot of iron
in your titles.
Seth Herzog, do some plugs
real quick. Promote yourself.
Boy Band, the feature I did, has been out for a month or so.
You can see it online.
It's about a boy band that's too old to be doing it.
It's a very funny film.
You can see it on iTunes or Amazon or Google or wherever you,
Xbox, wherever you see a film.
And tomorrow night, come catch us down at the Chelsea Music Attic.
407 West 15th.
Nice.
Wow, that's really
close to a friend of mine opened a restaurant right
there. Have you noticed La Cubana?
Yeah. Yes.
Right there. It's so good. I ate there tonight. It was delicious.
Yeah. What'd you get?
Empanadas.
Fancy, man. These little corn fritters with peppers in them are amazing.
Look at you.
Yeah.
What?
What kind of fritters were they?
Corn.
Julia Madison, what do you have to plug?
Just sitting at home doing Lorde with myself.
I did a show a couple months ago.
Is anyone alive out there for Audible?
It'll be on there in a couple months.
And more general things that have no dates or locations.
So I'm at Julia Matt on the internet.
Julia Matt.
M-A-T-T.
One T for some reason on the old handle.
I don't know why I did that.
Julia Matt's just one T?
Yeah, Julia M-A-T.
I did it so many years ago.
You know, we all have that regret.
Those things happen.
What are you going to do?
But you've also got a fun new video up
where you do impressions?
Yes, I will put it up soon, yes.
It's where I found my Elizabeth
and I think I got Lorde in there.
Yeah, that was great.
I'll send that out.
Joel Wagoner in Be More Chill Till July 9th.
Yeah, come see me.
Yeah.
See me wear a bunch of costumes.
And what's your Twitter thing?
Oh, I've also got a weird Instagram called Joel Capella.
Oh, please watch it.
Everybody do yourselves a favor.
J-O-E-L-C-A-P-P-E-L-A, whatever, Joel Capella, like acapella. And I just do a bunch of weird acapella videos about songs I make up about life and shit. And you'll get a kick out watch it. Everybody do yourselves a favor. J-O-E-L, then C-A-P-P-E-L-A, whatever, Joel Capella, like acapella.
And I just do a bunch of weird acapella videos about songs I make up about life and shit.
And you'll get a kick out of it, hopefully.
I watch them every day.
I'm not lying.
I watch them all the time.
They're fantastic.
That and then a new single I wrote with my band came out.
It's a Pride anthem.
It's called Get Into It, Ellipsis Queen by Miss Natalie.
And it's a raunchy fucking hilarious disco jam. Buy it, you'll
laugh and there's a video too.
Nice. Yeah, thanks guys. Had a great
time. Thanks for having me. Thank you.
Caitlin Carlson.
Come see Be More Chill.
Until August 9th. Until August 11th.
July 9th.
Well,
Joel is playing his role for sure
until July 9th, but he's still a swing
until forever with the show.
So he might be there anytime the guy
gets food poisoning or whatever. I'll be there.
Diarrhea or whatever. So come
see Joel be the guy
who has diarrhea.
It's a great funny show, so come
see it at the Lyceum Theater every
Tuesday through Sunday. 45th Street, you'll like it at the Lyceum Theater every Tuesday through Sunday, eight times a week.
45th Street, you'll like it.
It's teen sci-fi, funny, over the top.
Everyone is 30 years old playing high school kid.
Yes, and I'm the slutty one.
What?
What?
Okay.
I have to pee.
I think you just sold some tickets.
One more time for all of my guests, Caitlin Carlson, Joel Waggoner,
Julia Madison, and
Seth Herzog.
Thank you. Thank you
Gramercy Theater. Thank you guys for
coming out. Get your tickets
for 12 Guests of Christmas December
1st if that's the sort of thing you like
to do. If you like to plan
that far ahead. But it'll
be on sale on the line uh tomorrow
and more donuts on the stage as always positive energy
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