Doug Loves Movies - Keith Powell, Lamorne Morris and Ramon Rivas II guest

Episode Date: June 15, 2016

Live from Nerdmelt in Los Angeles, Doug welcomes Keith Powell, Lamorne Morris and Ramon Rivas II to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at... https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Doug hates candy wrappers, skinny babies, sick PCs With 50-as-if-not-for-curtains in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see The Doug of Police I brought a... this is a huge bag that I brought this time. It's way more bagged than like, this is the kind of bag that like a Doug Henning or a Mr. Copperfield would get into
Starting point is 00:00:39 or get his assistant into and then pull it up over their head. Then they drop it down. There's a chicken. We'll edit that part out. Hey, hey, hey, everybody. My name is Doug and I love movies. This is God Loves Movies. Ah, yes, it is. Coming to you from the Nerd Melt showroom
Starting point is 00:01:02 at Meltdown Comics in Los Angeles, California. Hashtag Orlando United. It's Monday, June 13th, 2016. Uh... What? Oh, this makes sense to me now. I wrote
Starting point is 00:01:21 this a few hours ago. I get it if you guys weren't in the mood to make name tags this weekend, but let's see what you got. Do we have some? We got some. All right. Good for you. Not the most creative
Starting point is 00:01:38 ones I've ever seen. Nate's going to be committing to that same thing all summer long, and he told me at the end of the last show here that if it doesn't get picked by the end of the summer, he's going to let me stomp on it. Which I kind of don't want to do now. But it's more fun to stomp on it when the person might cry.
Starting point is 00:02:06 But thank you for bringing that and all the other name tags. Good Fullers and whatever that is over there. There's some good ones. My guests will have some options. And also, this is always exciting when this happens one of the guests is either on route or maybe like thinking oh it's not worth bothering anymore I don't know when somebody texts you how That's like, whoa. I'll see you later, dude. Doug Plugs.
Starting point is 00:02:54 Minneapolis. Douglas Movies is at the Women's Club of Minneapolis this Saturday, June 18th at 4.20. Next, Douglas Movies here in L.A. is on Tuesday, June 21st at 9.30 over at 4.20. Next, Doug Loves Movies here in L.A. is on Tuesday, June 21st at 9.30 over at UCB Franklin.
Starting point is 00:03:09 And more Doug Loves Movies are coming up in Philly, Salt Lake City, Columbus. Oh. Doug Loves Movies
Starting point is 00:03:18 dot com. I'll only say it once because I have a tremendous bag here for you guys today. It's knocking over my bottle of water. That's how big this bag is for the listeners.
Starting point is 00:03:36 All right, so. Jesus. I really miss my calling as a clumsy guy. Here comes clumsy with his stupid giant bag of stuff. But we got a Douglas Ruiz t-shirt in the bag. We got... This is crazy. This is...
Starting point is 00:04:07 A guy tried to give this to me for the prize bag in Atlanta, but it got back to me after the show was over. So I flew it back to California. It is a giant box that says Al Pacino Scarface on it, and it's... Feels like it might be real snakeskin. And then you open it up look at this glorious DVD it's like a coffin for the movie it's
Starting point is 00:04:34 like the movie died they made it a beautiful coffin with all the great scenes were with Pacino in the tub who can forget forget that? And then here's the thing. Somebody starts digging around in this thing. I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? It's just it's just gonna be like it's just all presentation. No, no, no. Check it out. Another layer of shit in here. Yeah, this is like one of those unboxing. I should make a video of myself opening this. People will really get into it. But it's got like these lobby card things in here, which are all right.
Starting point is 00:05:13 I don't have a problem with them. There's just a... Just gonna drop them everywhere. But then in here they got a copy of like some old timey Scarface movie. Scarface, probably the original. People are going to yell at me. What do you mean old-timey? And then a
Starting point is 00:05:31 Scarface money clip. A gold Scarface money clip. You haven't made it in this world until you have a money clip. I don't know if that's a good Scarface. Probably not. But so, yeah. So this Scarface box thing is incredible,
Starting point is 00:05:52 and now it's going to be a pain in the ass to put back together. But that's what I deserve. That's what happens. But thank you to the gentleman in Atlanta who wanted it to be in that prize bag. Here's a thing that I might want to – I was thinking about trying playing with my guests tonight. Somebody gave me this somewhere. Oh, I got this at midnight, I think.
Starting point is 00:06:16 I'm going to be on again this Wednesday night. Sorry, Thursday night I'm going to be on. Linky, four little questions. One big link. And then there's a... It's like a packet of cards. And it calls itself the... I don't even want to get into it. It's going on and on in the back
Starting point is 00:06:38 about how much fucking fun it is. Like, this is going to oversell it way too much. There's a Pe peacemaker pipe in there It's such a deep bag But for my personal VHS collection We've got an episode of the underrated Gross Point Entitled Secrets and Lies And an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Starting point is 00:06:59 Called Nightmares Which could be the name of any episode of Buffy. I guess if she's having nightmares, she's probably having, like, angel fuck dreams. But those in turn are nightmares for her because she wants him so badly.
Starting point is 00:07:22 But he's evil, the part of the story I'm talking about. Alright. I don't know when I'm going to put this Scarface thing back together. I'm really not budgeting my time well at all. But I'm going to try to start doing it
Starting point is 00:07:38 as my guests come out here because they're going to come out to thunderous applause and there might be three of them. But I'm going to only say the names of the ones that I know for sure here. Please welcome to the stage Ramon Rivas II and Keith Powell, everybody. Thank you. And Lamorne Morris! Oh, shut up.
Starting point is 00:08:19 You don't really like us that much. I was late. I did. I asked for thunderous applause. I really kind of milked it. It was good. It was nice. I'm late. I did. I said, I asked for thunderous applause. I really kind of milked it. It was good. It was nice. I'm like your hype man,
Starting point is 00:08:29 you guys. And I got to put this Scarface thing back together. So just talk amongst yourselves. So. How's everybody doing? Good?
Starting point is 00:08:40 That's great. I apologize for being late. But you were. I talked long enough That you showed up in time Yeah It was a good filibuster I was chilling back there man
Starting point is 00:08:50 For a lot of the show Well that's good I'm excited You made your presence Known to me right away Thank you very much Because you could have Stayed back a minute or two
Starting point is 00:08:59 And really milked Your own entrance I could have I was gonna do that Yeah But thanks for being here nonetheless why are we why are we running late what happened is like I'm not gonna lie to you I was being a nigga I was the the game was on fried chicken
Starting point is 00:09:16 fried chicken fried watermelon watermelon fried chicken white women I was being a nigga no the game was on and I'm a Cavs fan yeah we won yeah I was one of you guys LeBron dominated got it 41 41 I'd be done by like 15, 16, something like that. Yeah. Wow, it's like a player being interviewed by the press corps. What the fuck just happened? Both teams play hard. How'd you feel after the game?
Starting point is 00:09:54 About 100%? 100%. We played 100% from end to floor to end to floor. Coach and staff had a great game plan, and I was being a nigga. All right, let's meet everybody individually, starting on the gentleman to my direct left. Please give it up, everybody, for Keith Powell is here. Hello.
Starting point is 00:10:22 Star of his own web series, Keith is broke. You know what? That is entirely accurate. No, it's... He broke his leg. Keith broke his leg. Yeah, that's it. I knew what it was.
Starting point is 00:10:36 I thought I'd put a fun twist on it. Great. Then I realized that wasn't fun at all. To say that you're broke, but you did broke your leg. And then you decided to make that into a series about what it's like to be a person with a broken leg no it's just hours of entertainment just watching me in a cast it's like when tyra banks puts on a fat suit it's exactly like that, yes. Well, we might as well say hello to him right now
Starting point is 00:11:15 after that line. Ramon Rivas II is here, everybody. His name ends with a two because you know what to do. And visiting from Cleveland, Ohio. Yes, sir. When's your festival? You got a big festival coming up. I do a comedy festival
Starting point is 00:11:35 in Cleveland every year called Accidental Comedy Fest. This year it's August 26th through 28th. I got like Beth Stelling and Kurt Braunohler and Marcella Arguello and a bunch of dope people. A couple musical acts, which are cool. And yeah, I just had an old hipster bowling alley. And a taco truck pulls up.
Starting point is 00:12:00 It's a dope time. You're really selling it. Yeah, man. Come on, Cleveland. Taco truck. I don't selling it. Yeah, man. Come on, Cleveland. Taco truck. I don't really know what else you need. Yeah, that sounds great. And so you'll be in LA for a little bit longer?
Starting point is 00:12:15 Yeah, I'm here until July 6th, just bopping around doing shows. Just taped my Comedy Central half hour special on Friday. Woo! Woo! Which was cool. I asked, I texted this lady from Comedy Central
Starting point is 00:12:31 to ask if I could smoke weed in my trailer. And she was like, nah. But they were cool with me walking around and doing it. Just not in the trailer. Just not in the trailer.
Starting point is 00:12:44 They don't want you sticking up the trailer. Yeah, they were like, we'd lose our deposit. And I was like, well, that doesn't really affect me. But if you vape, though,
Starting point is 00:12:55 that doesn't get into the cushions. Yeah, I mean, I was vaping in there, but I like to smoke a blunt before I go on stage. Well, you have to go
Starting point is 00:13:03 a little bit more after the show. Yeah, yeah, we'll be out back. If you're looking for me at any point, just try it by the dumpster. It's a pretty good way to go.
Starting point is 00:13:23 We'll get you on Getting Doug with High sometime before you go. Oh, hell yeah. I hope. Dope. That'll be fun. I just did one today, so that's why I'm really sharp right now. Let's say hello to Lamorne Morris, everybody.
Starting point is 00:13:41 Hi. to Lamorne Morris, everybody. Thanks for being here. We already really went through your backstory. Yeah, man. The road to get here. It's tough, man. Yeah, it wasn't easy, but you did it.
Starting point is 00:14:00 Both teams played hard. And this whole time, how did the prize bag, how did that work work out did you bring something good for us you have no idea man you have no way to blow your fucking mind man i'm ready you brought like stuff from your childhood home the last time you were on last time last time i brought a lot of dope shit this one i think the best thing about this is this bag the bag itself is quite decorative i was with my girlfriend. I was at my girlfriend's place watching the Cavaliers stick their dicks
Starting point is 00:14:28 inside of the Golden State Warriors aggressively. Consensually. With no remorse whatsoever. Fuck Steph Curry. I just want to say that. Before I finish going on, he's fucking light-skinned with green eyes. That's not fair.
Starting point is 00:14:41 By itself, that's not fair. Then he has a jump shot. His jump shot's straight out of fucking hell. If he's not cheating all of... By itself, it's not fair. Then he has a jump shot. His jump shot's straight out of fucking hell. If he's not cheating on his wife, he should be. He's got to be fucking all the bitches, man. And that makes me so upset. Anyway, I digress. This bag.
Starting point is 00:14:57 My girlfriend, I asked her for a bag to put some stuff in, and she gave me this bag. And I said the word gift. I said I want to put gifts in it. And so she actually brought a gift bag and put the gift in and she gave me this bag and i said the word gift i said i want to put gifts in and so she actually brought a gift bag and put the gift paper in it too which is amazing but the stuff beautiful it's not that great it's thorough do you want to know what's inside right now we do want to know what's in there unless you think it's fun to leave it a surprise for later i got a hat from uh the montage hotel Hotel in Laguna.
Starting point is 00:15:25 This is a hat. I've been there, it's a good place. Yeah, it's a good place, man. I heard all the rooms blur together. And I just got some people some for your consideration shit. Oh, you're not supposed to give that away. That's bad. Who said you're not supposed to? Is that a rule? I think so.
Starting point is 00:15:47 I'm going to pretend like I didn't hear that. They send you so much bullshit. You see my trunk? It's crazy. It's insane. I'm actually getting a little, like, I'm hyperventilating every time the mailman comes over because it's like a fucking box for Netflix and it's like this big.
Starting point is 00:16:04 I will never watch it. Just set a blanket out on the street and sell them, man. Yeah, you can do that. And then the Emmy cops are gonna come and arrest me. I took my name and address off of this just so I don't get in any real trouble. Also, so y'all don't know where I live.
Starting point is 00:16:18 Oh, no, those are, they put some sort of a watermark. They watermark it. That's what my girlfriend told me, too. She's smart. Everybody's smart all of a sudden. It happens on the show a lot. So, you know,
Starting point is 00:16:31 we'll keep track if ever, if anybody ever gets in trouble. Thank you. Yeah, we'll try to warn everybody. But thanks for bringing that stuff. Man, you know. It ain't nothing. Ramon,
Starting point is 00:16:43 what do you got for us I brought One of my friends Who lives out here Has this company Called Dabble That makes these Like vape pen things
Starting point is 00:16:51 Yabble dabble Yabble dabble So I have a dabble hat And then like a dabble kit That has like the pen And then an extra cartridge And a charger And then
Starting point is 00:17:04 And then if you're willing to come to Cleveland, you can have a weekend pass to my comedy festival too. All right, you got to go to Cleveland. That's the rub. That is the rub. It's dope though. Yeah. What if they know somebody in the Cleveland area?
Starting point is 00:17:24 I mean, we can talk. Okay. He's willing to haggle about this. We'll work it out. Keith, what do you got for the bag? I'm on a campaigning kick lately because I'm trying to get an Emmy nomination for this web series.
Starting point is 00:17:44 My wife did a wonderful thing where she... She will... Oh, boy. Where she... My wife! My wife! Sorry, you didn't know what the hell you were walking into there. It's a really horrible thing. When my wife listens to this...
Starting point is 00:18:10 My wife! My wife. My wife. Will be... My wife will be... My wife. My wife. My wife.
Starting point is 00:18:21 My wife. I'll be on somebody else's talk radio show, and they'll have a serious guest on somebody else's talk radio show and they'll even they'll have like a serious guest on he's setting my girlfriend I think I did it my wife to Gary Marshall
Starting point is 00:18:31 one time but I try to whisper it so that only the listeners can hear it cause Gary Marshall didn't want to put on the cans
Starting point is 00:18:43 my my significant other creates, handcrafts these coasters and it's all in reference to episodes of Keith Broke His Leg. And, you know,
Starting point is 00:18:59 there's some good comedy bits on these coasters. Retails for a lot. for your consideration coasters then they are they're for your consideration but you can watch these i just said you can watch these you know you can these serve a purpose you could put a drink on it you put a drink on this it's the food network nobody gonna watch this you can spit can spit this down. Put it under a table. Wait, hold on a second. Which show is this?
Starting point is 00:19:28 I don't know. It's everything. Listen, I'd want this. It's the whole lineup. It's the whole lineup. It's everything on the whole network. Yeah, they really want to get... And if you use mine,
Starting point is 00:19:37 both of theirs will be more interesting. Can you pass that down to me? Yeah, that'd be great. Thank you. It's just Guy Fieri just throwing up in a bucket over and over again. This thing's for your Emmy consideration.
Starting point is 00:19:49 It's pretty heavy, and then I'm going to add these to it. Oh, yeah. This is going to be a crazy heavy bag. I'll put that in there. Congrats to whoever gets that. Oh, shit. Oh, if anyone's a Foley artist, I've got the great sound effect of someone's head getting crushed on a curb.
Starting point is 00:20:18 Those noises are horrible. This is a question I have to ask you guys before we get to the movie questions and answers part of the show what was the last movie you saw let's start on
Starting point is 00:20:31 to my left with Keith oh fuck Captain America I couldn't tell who was least prepared to answer that question
Starting point is 00:20:41 I saw Captain America and I was Civil War I only saw the black people in it. There was like three of them. That's amazing. Three black people in a movie? What's that about?
Starting point is 00:20:54 That doesn't happen unless you're Tyler Perry. It's like two-eighths of the cast? Yes. Three. Wait, no, there was... No, there's like 12 of them. What color is Paul Bettany? What color is... He's red. He's red, so he doesn't count. He doesn't count.
Starting point is 00:21:08 He doesn't get black points. Black Panther was like fucking amazing. Yeah, that was cool. He's got Black Panther in there. He's already going to have his own movie, right? Spoiler alert. Wait, which part? All of it.
Starting point is 00:21:22 You haven't seen any of it? No. What's wrong with you? Don't you stay in hotel rooms? No, man. Or is it not even in hotel rooms yet? Probably not. It is.
Starting point is 00:21:33 But he's in the trailer a lot. Yeah. He hasn't even seen the trailer? No. You don't want to see this movie. No, I do. I do. I like waiting until it comes because I want to watch it a bunch.
Starting point is 00:21:45 And I don't want to sneak back in the theater or if i didn't take enough snacks in with me to say again it's for netflix and children i gotta yeah i gotta i gotta view my movies he likes things on a loop yeah if it's dope i want to like watch it again spider too. And if it's whack I won't be able to make fun of it. Yeah. Spider-Man's in it. Spoiler. Spoiler alert. He dies. Spoiler alert. But the Spider-Man
Starting point is 00:22:15 in that movie was so young I was expecting Tim to like break out and masturbate. Yeah. He was a child. He was like a child.
Starting point is 00:22:22 It was really crazy. It was a little anyway. Wasn't an adult. It was a little... Anyway. Wasn't an adult masturbate before a kid would? No. When I was 14? No, like he was old enough to masturbate.
Starting point is 00:22:32 It was just... It was just like... I would have... He was so young that he was like one of those kids that looks like he just masturbates all day. Even in a mask? Especially in a mask. What's he doing? Oh, he's just
Starting point is 00:22:49 masturbating. Why did we talk about that? That was the last movie I saw. Did you like it? I liked all the black people in it, yes. Okay, I'm not racist. I like Tony Stark, too. He's got a good tan.
Starting point is 00:23:19 Yeah, okay. I knew I could talk you into him. At least Thor wasn't there because he really throws the white numbers up. So neither was... Neither was... Really knocks the white scale over. Pepper Potts.
Starting point is 00:23:34 Pepper Potts wasn't in it. Hulk wasn't in there either because he's green. Who knows what to do with that? It's a brain. I mean, half the country seems for green and the other half
Starting point is 00:23:44 seems against it. We'll see in November. Have you guys seen that GIF file where Hulk is fucking Scarlett Johansson? No, but I want to see it now. It's amazing. I'm going to send it to you guys and you send it out to all your fans.
Starting point is 00:23:58 It's insane. Imagine what Hulk's dick looks like. I feel like she would faint. Oh yeah, he destroyed her. They use clips from the actual movie. They show a close-up of his face. Like this. And they show her like this.
Starting point is 00:24:14 And you just see green going into pink. That's it. I sent it to my girlfriend. I was like, don't you wish I could do this? She was like, yo, it's a Hulk smash. You've officially discussed it. I'm not even high with these people. You know, Lamorne is in a movie called Barbershop, The Next Cut.
Starting point is 00:24:46 Yes. Is that what it's called? Yes. There's no number in there? Nah. It's the third one, though? It's the third installment, yes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:56 I bet you there's a lot of black people in that movie. Oh, it's all black people. We made it a point. It's the third in the first of three trilogies. And it ends with a bunch of Ewoks dancing around. Oh, no. Listen, they have to get their hair cut somewhere. Just a bunch of Ewoks with tight tapers.
Starting point is 00:25:28 Got the little part. Yeah. Little lightning bolts in the side. Yeah, so... I had a question for you, though. What's up with a movie called April Fools? Jokes on you. Jokes on everybody else.
Starting point is 00:25:49 It was one of the shittiest movies of all time. I was 18 and I lived in Chicago. And I auditioned. They made it seem like this was legit. And I showed up to set. And they had me laying in the middle of the ground in the south side of Chicago. With little needles on the ground and fucking glass and shit. And I would complain and they would,
Starting point is 00:26:09 their response to me being out, it's like 30 degrees in Chicago, their response to me being damn near butt naked laying face down on the ground was just, we'll sweep up some of the dirt. That's what they did for me. And the movie itself is absolutely terrible it's a really bad movie so I don't suggest anyone watch it also I haven't been paid for that movie
Starting point is 00:26:30 yeah it's on Netflix fuck that movie what yeah man well let me spoil it for you buddy then yeah cuz IMDB pretty much gives away the whole plot. It's really bad. Yeah. Deanna, 17, a young hottie, seduces Melvin, the class nerd. That's me. That's it. Yep. Hulk smash. Hulk smash.
Starting point is 00:27:05 Hulk smasher. I I mean we can put together From the title That she's not having sex with him Because she actually likes him Right It's a trick she's playing on him Which is the greatest trick ever ladies We hate it when you have sex with us
Starting point is 00:27:17 It's a joke I actually would prefer it We want real passion Speaking of passion I actually would prefer it. We want real passion. Speaking of passion, passion projects, it must have been a real treat for you, Keith, to play. You played a Tuskegee Airman.
Starting point is 00:27:34 Yes. In The Night at the Museum. I did. Battle of the Smithsonian. I was going to say, like, wait for it. It wasn't like hard-hitting drama or anything like that. I don't love the Smithsonian. I was going to say, wait for it. It wasn't like hard-hitting drama or anything like that.
Starting point is 00:27:55 Yeah, it's just such a funny, like, you know, when I was IMDBing you, it's just funny that you and Craig Robinson were the Tuskegee Airmen. Yeah, that's my boy. He was high the entire time. That must have been super fun, yeah, even when you weren't in your planes. Yeah, but when I saw that, it just made me giggle because the movie is so light and silly, and
Starting point is 00:28:15 it's like the Tuskegee Airmen is kind of like an important thing from history. Just have two guys run in, hey, we're the Tuskegee Airmen. Hey, thanks for coming by. Seriously. The coffee's over there. That's kind of what happens. My character was
Starting point is 00:28:32 they asked me to talk like a news announcer. So everything had to be like this. What does that have to do with Tuskegee Airmen? I don't know. That's how people with syphilis talk. Oh, those Tuskegee boys. I got paid.
Starting point is 00:28:54 Ha ha! Indeed. Well played. What was the last movie I saw? I wants to watch something on a plane or something. Had issues with the TV today. Oh, you're back. Finally.
Starting point is 00:29:19 Finally, I can continue. I saw Frozen on a plane because I saw Frozen, the stage musical down at Disney California Adventure. I'm friends with the person who directed that. For reals? Well, tell him. Kudos. Well, my wife, mostly.
Starting point is 00:29:40 Who? My wife. My wife! Who? My wife. My wife! You know, it's funny. The guests don't say it that often, you know. And like you did earlier, they think of other ways to say it so we don't have to embarrass ourselves.
Starting point is 00:30:04 What does that say about your guests though like they're all degenerate single people or they're all young playing the field well I don't know about that but they just don't have a wife yet you know so they say my girlfriend or you know or they don't bring her up at all
Starting point is 00:30:23 it happens to be I have it sometimes it's inevitable with me I was in an interview situation with Sasha Baron Cohen and he didn't say it once so I dodged a bullet there as they say could you imagine that I mean there's no way he would find that amusing. There's no goddamn way. You can't be like, but I'm doing it because it's annoying. Like, you can't throw that in there. Then you're just annoying.
Starting point is 00:30:58 Yes, I agree. Right? Like, do you guys have something that's, like, most quoted at you when people accost you in the streets? People just call me Winston from my show. right like what's the do you guys have something that's like most quoted at you when they when people accost you in the streets people just call me winston from my show yeah yeah yeah so people they yell that too hey new girl all the time or they'll just or they just new girl hey hey it's jess or hey what's up you want that zoe show and i just got that showy show I do that Zoey show. And I just go.
Starting point is 00:31:21 That Zoey show. It's everything. You have the Zoey showy? It's everything but my actual name. Yeah, I get, I mean, I get twofer, which it sounds like a pet. I'm not gonna lie to you. This is our first time meeting, right?
Starting point is 00:31:36 Yeah. When I walked in backstage, I swear to God, I was this close to going, what's up, twofer? I was this close. I was this close, but I was like, I don't know him, he got on camouflage pants. He could be like, I don't know him. He got on camouflage pants. He could be rough.
Starting point is 00:31:48 I don't know him. Nah. Nah. The hell is that? It's all a laugh track, this show. No one's enjoying this show. It's just a laugh track for your podcast. It's just a laugh track for your podcast.
Starting point is 00:32:09 You know, I don't know if I mind the twofer so much. I mean, you know, because people normally say it and then go, okay, but what's your real name? Like, I get that. Well, plus you get a whole day of the week, you know? Yes. Tuesday? Yeah. Yes. Tuesday? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:27 Yes. Hey, everybody. Every room you walk into, two for Tuesday. Two for Tuesday. Like that camel in the Geico commercial. It reminded everybody about hump day all day long on Wednesday. But yeah, there's always something that people yell at you. Ramon doesn't have his yet, but if you had to guess. Cleveland!
Starting point is 00:32:46 Do you say something in your special that's real catchy that people would yell at you? Nah, probably just, you got weed. Yeah, let's go smoke. You got a lot of weed material into this special? Nah, I just sound like a nap that you just took with weed. that you just took with weed. You should quote yourself reviewing your own acts on your album cover
Starting point is 00:33:14 because that was a really good review that you gave yourself. All right, you guys. This is probably a show where I say, let the games begin. Gentlemen, select your name tags from this dazzling array of donuts. And, oh, fuck the police. That's an interesting approach.
Starting point is 00:33:39 We usually don't have that sort of thing around here. All right, we're going to go to a quick commercial break. We'll be right back. Hey, you guys, no sponsor this episode, so I'll just remind you to check out douglasmovies.com for all of my tour dates, including Pemberton Music Fest in Canada and Douglas Movies tapings in San Diego, Traverse City, Toronto,
Starting point is 00:34:06 New York City, Chicago, Nashville, and more. That's DouglasMovies.com Hope to see you out there soon. Alright, we're back and Winston fell for it.
Starting point is 00:34:26 Craftsmanship on this thing. It's pretty amazing, right? And it's lightweight racist as shit. There's no people of color anywhere on there. Nah, he got dreads. That's just a dirty white dude. That's a light skin. This is Steph Curry.
Starting point is 00:34:39 I might see a Hispanic there. He could be Hispanic. She got big lips. She's probably just Persian. It's Nate's dream guest on the show. We've read them all off before. Okay. I think that name tag is going to pop up a lot.
Starting point is 00:34:58 What happened? This dude just looks like he's selling watches out of his coat. Got work, got work. I don't know who that would be. But anyway, congratulations on getting picked, Nate. You can set that down if you want. You don't have to hold it the whole time.
Starting point is 00:35:14 I want to. It's fucking beautiful. Put it in your lap. Let all those little characters look at you. My dick, dude. Watch your big right eye. Right bird. To them, dude. I should be a great dog. Right, bird?
Starting point is 00:35:29 To them, it's huge. Who are you playing for, Ramon? I'm playing... On behalf of... On behalf of... Jen. She does not like what the police are doing, so she's like... Oh, you're the fuck the police lady?
Starting point is 00:35:45 Yeah, fuck the police, which I ride with, just because sometimes they're shitty. And then just straight out of OC, original content. Can I change my mind? No, I'm just... I'm just kidding. I think it's an excellent choice. Yeah, very good.
Starting point is 00:36:09 And Keith, what do you have? Apparently, the Goodfullers. I'm assuming that the people who gave it to me is named Fuller. You know, it's a take on Goodfellas, in case anybody's not noticing that. That looks pretty accurate. Goodfellas, yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:33 Very nice. I like how you laid them all down on the stage. Like we're hanging out at the worst merch table in the history of... Ha ha ha ha. We're hanging out at the worst merch table in the history of... I wanted to take out one of these Linky cards and just play it just for fun, but I don't even understand.
Starting point is 00:36:56 I don't even understand what the game is supposed to be. Like, what do you think the game is here? Talk us through it. It's bad. Like, what do you think the game is here? Talk us through it. That's a fact. Blinky, ballets or ballets? Definitely ballets. Okay. Who had to get home?
Starting point is 00:37:17 So I think that's the answer you're supposed to try to get. Oh, shit. Wait. Maybe. Oh, the clue. But there's a clue down. So wait, you're trying to get people to guess these clues. Who had to get home by midnight before her carriage turned into a pumpkin?
Starting point is 00:37:31 Cinderella. Cinderella. Oh, it links it down to the last one. Fancy French dancing. So from Cinderella, you go what? Who fell asleep for 100 years and could only be woken up by a cushion. Talking to Sleeping Beauty. Hi, guys.
Starting point is 00:37:52 Nah, this doesn't, I mean, that don't make no sense to me. That's fucked up. It looks like a small intestine, though, on the card. It does. Maybe you're just supposed to shit it out. Would it help if you saw another one? Yes. You don't know what this shit is.
Starting point is 00:38:05 Right. I don't even know what you're doing at this because I was late like what is that it's like people this game this thing is supposed to be so much fun who has a global fan base of people who call themselves believers come on man have you played Linky yet no then? Then today's your lucky day. Inside this pack, you'll find a mini version of our super simple
Starting point is 00:38:34 shout-out-loud party game. Happy Linky! The wackest party ever played in this game. I figured this out. It's from the people who brought you banana grams. I figured this out. It's from the people who brought you banana grams. I love a banana gram. It's from the people you returned
Starting point is 00:38:49 your banana grams to. Alright. Okay. So you're supposed to ask all these four questions. The answer, all four answers all have something in common, and that's the thing at the bottom. So the person who figures out the thing at the bottom first wins?
Starting point is 00:39:12 Yes. That's why it's a show. Listen, no more. That's all I need. Don't you fucking slow clap us. That's all I need. All right, so do one. We'll try to play it.
Starting point is 00:39:24 We'll do it the right way. Okay. Sometimes light red-haired people describe themselves as... Ginger. What blondes? Strawberries. Which delicious product is derived from the cacao bean? Which edible nut has a distinct green color to it?
Starting point is 00:39:43 These. It's sundaes. It's Sundays. It's Sundays. No, you're wrong. Ice cream sundae. No, you're wrong. Flute? Oh, well you said something. Dessert? Ice cream. Ice cream.
Starting point is 00:39:56 That's how you get it. Ice cream. And if they guess it off the first guess they're dope? Yes. What'd you win? What's the prize? Just white points. Oh, nice.
Starting point is 00:40:09 You got a thumbs up. Well, I got a lot of white points to give. Starting right now. I want to play a new game. I'm going crazy with the new games lately. I can't stop. Because people, you know, I have conversations with people about them. And this new game has been suggested by a lot of people.
Starting point is 00:40:42 But I finally broke down to do it when Nam underscore Joti, J-O-T-I, on Twitter, suggested I call the game Characters Welcome. I like that name a lot, because I love shows that are on TBS. So, I'll list the characters that were played by an actor. Now this is just for the guys on stage now. It's serious time, you guys. Strawberry!
Starting point is 00:41:20 Who invited you? Alright. I list characters that this actor has played, and then you guys can guess as often as you like, but the first person to guess this correctly wins. You're giving us the character and the movie, or just the character? I want the actor who's played all of these characters. I'm not going to tell you the names of the movies,
Starting point is 00:41:44 unless you're interested later. I do have them written down. Some people will be like, what movie did you play that character in? And I will go, uh... and find it. Johnny Depp. You know, I love a good pre-guess
Starting point is 00:42:01 because you just never know when you might be right. This is not one of those times. Who played Roger Porter in a motion picture? Character named Roger Porter. I can't believe this isn't giving it away. Can you tell us his name? This guy also played
Starting point is 00:42:21 Napoleon Stone. Napoleon Stone. Napoleon Stone. John Heater? No, that was Napoleon Dynamite. I mean, I didn't know if that was the character's name. Nick Stiles is another name. Not a boy band member,
Starting point is 00:42:42 but a character. Not Tom Cruise. Not Tom Cruise. That does sound like a Nick Cole trickle. Yeah. Nick Styles. Oh, also this actor, very versatile, played a character named Joe Miller. Joe Miller. Jason Sudeikis.
Starting point is 00:43:01 No. No. Also played a character... Think of the whitest white guy. Lee the Pillars. I don't know. Also played a character. This is one of those one-name characters in the credits.
Starting point is 00:43:13 You don't even need to know his last name. Dudley. Oh. Roger Moore. Dudley Moore. Dudley Moore. No. Oh, I fucked that up.
Starting point is 00:43:28 I fucked that up. It's like I know somebody named Dudley. It's a Dudley. Dudley, do right. All right. I feel like this would be easier if we had the movie they played those characters in. Or if we had their names. If I told you the movies that they were in, it would be over already.
Starting point is 00:43:56 It would be over immediately. But that's not... Okay. That's no fun. That's not a fun game. I'm going to get this next one. I'm going to get this next one. Keith Frazier.
Starting point is 00:44:04 Keith Frazier? Keith Frazier. All thesezier? Keith Frazier. All these... Brendan Frazier? It doesn't sound real at all. And it builds to ones that are more recognizable. I'm not going to just list a million random names. Straight to Netflix.
Starting point is 00:44:17 April Fools. I gotcha. Just be glad people don't do that to you all the time. Oh my God. You dodged that one. Nobody's got a guess on Keith Frazier? No. What about Jake Shuttlesworth?
Starting point is 00:44:34 He played a character called... Denzel Washington. That's correct. And that movie was? He Got Game. He Got Game. That gave it away because that is a crazy ass name.
Starting point is 00:44:49 Shuttlesworth. Jesus Shuttlesworth and Jake Shuttlesworth. That's crazy. What are all these movies with these weird ass names? Fucking Napoleon. He was Keith Frazier
Starting point is 00:44:56 in Inside Man. He was Dudley in The Preacher's Wife. Joe Miller in Philadelphia. Nick Stiles in Ricochet. Napoleon Stone in Heart Condition.
Starting point is 00:45:08 And Roger Parker in one of his first movies, Carbon Copy. I've seen all of those movies, and I still didn't know what it was. But I'm also delighted in how white all of his character names are. Because then still to come was John Hobbs from Fallen. Ben Marco from Manchurian Candidate, Doug Carlin from Deja Vu. They're getting whiter and whiter. Robert McCall in The Equalizer,
Starting point is 00:45:34 Reuben Carter, The Hurricane. Yeah, that would have... And then the one, if you guys hadn't got it yet, I would have been very shocked, but I would have dropped Malcolm X. Malcolm X. Yeah, two black names, both real characters. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:50 Those would have been very helpful if we got that far. But the old Shuttlesworth brought the whole thing down. I love that. Alright, so next time I'm going to play a game that's going to take a little explaining to you guys,
Starting point is 00:46:05 but I think it'll be worth it. It's called Ron Bennington's Mojo Rising, the Adjusted for Inflation Bureau. I know, what? Indeed. I'll give you the name of an actor. And this will start with Lamorne in the first round. And I forgot to do this the other day in the episode that's not out yet. We've got to change the order in each round. But we'll start with you, Lamorne.
Starting point is 00:46:47 And I'm just going to name an actor and then you name what you think might be in their top three of all time grossing motion pictures adjusted for inflation. Pirates of the Caribbean. Now you know how I love a good pre-gay. Yes. love of good pre-guests.
Starting point is 00:47:06 So what? It's going to be Johnny Depp. When that time comes, I'm telling you. Keep in mind, you need exact titles, and so there's some tricky ones out there. And what happens is,
Starting point is 00:47:21 so let's say Lamorne has a guess, and then we go to Ramon, and he gets to guess, and then to Keith, and you each have to do a different movie. So that's the advantage to going first in this game. And then you just see who gets in the top three, and you get three points for the number one and two points for two and one point for three,
Starting point is 00:47:43 and we'll play first person to five points wins this game. You ready? Yes. No. Yes. It's not that fast-paced, so we should be all right. So we'll start with you, Lamorne.
Starting point is 00:47:59 Zooey Deschanel. What's in her top three? Zooey Deschanel. What's in her top three? I'm going to say Elf. He's going Elf. People have his back. Ramone.
Starting point is 00:48:18 Almost Famous. He's going Almost Famous. That's an interesting pull. I like that. And then what are you going to go with, Keith? Fuck me. All right. You insist. 500.
Starting point is 00:48:33 She was in 500 Days of Summer, right? I'm going to go with that. 500 Days of Summer. All right. So 500 Days of Summer did not make the top three. Yeah, I didn't think so. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:49 Almost famous did not make the top three. Number one is Elf. Yeah. Can I guess again? Or no? What? Sure, why not? Or no? What?
Starting point is 00:49:06 What? Sure, why not? Or nah. No, it's fun. Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. No. No? That didn't do good.
Starting point is 00:49:14 No, no, no, no, no. That wasn't a lot of facts and shit. All right, you have three points. Trying to get to five. And just for, yeah, for everyone's edification, number two is Yes Man. Oh. And number three, and this is a shame,
Starting point is 00:49:31 Failure to Launch. Oh, man. Yeah, what the hell is that indeed? Oh, Matthew McConaughey. Only stars Matthew McConaughey before the Connoissance. Bradley Cooper. Bradley Cooper.
Starting point is 00:49:45 Yeah. Connoissance. What? When he was the old... Bradley Cooper's the new McConaughey before the Connoissance. Bradley Cooper. Bradley Cooper. Yeah. What? When he was the old Bradley Cooper's the new McConaughey? No, Bradley Cooper was also in that movie. Oh.
Starting point is 00:49:52 Yeah. I thought you were burning those guys. I was ready to jump in. Patton Oswalt's in it I think too. But anyway. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:50:08 Sarah Jessica Barker's all right. I don't know why all the jokes about her all the time and her appearance doesn't seem right. She seems all right to me. She's fine. She'll do. She'll do right to me. She's fine. She'll do. She'll do. She's all right.
Starting point is 00:50:28 As long as you don't mind somebody that's covered in gutter water. What? You know, that moment at the beginning of Sex and the City where the bus sprays her with gutter water. Hey, this is an interesting first date. She showed up in a tutu smelling of gutter water. Hey, this is an interesting first date. She showed up in a tutu smelling of gutter water. She'd only eat oats from my hand. Oh, there you go. See, that's what I was talking about.
Starting point is 00:50:55 I'm tired of people doing those jokes. I'm going to like, just repeating them makes me hoarse. I say nay to the horse face joke all right here's the next round gotta get serious you guys oh we gotta Oh, we've got to determine the order here. We'll start with... Zero, zero, three. Oh, oh, oh. We'll start with you. Start with Keith, then we'll go to Ramon,
Starting point is 00:51:32 and then to... Lamorne. Did you pass out? He just went to sleep you have such a calming influence on me when you whispered your name I thought it was a ventriloquist actor or a no that's not the right word
Starting point is 00:51:58 hypnotist Keith yes Tina Fey oh boy Keith. Yes. Tina Fey. Oh, boy. Her number one. What's her number one? Megamind.
Starting point is 00:52:18 Ramon. Mean Girls. Lamarne. Enjoy these scraps. Fuck me, man. I'm just Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. Yeah, when adjusted for inflation.
Starting point is 00:52:53 No, that did not make the top three. Number three, Date Night. Date Night was number three. But number two, Mean Girls. Yeah. So that's two points for Ramon. And then at number one is, of course, Megamind. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:14 Keith has three points. That's how you kiss up to your boss. This is very exciting. I like how this is going. Someone in the audience, just for the listeners, in case you didn't hear it, just said three-fer. That was already a joke on the show, though.
Starting point is 00:53:39 I'm just saying. People heard it, said it. Maybe he hadn't heard it before. Maybe he thought he thought of it. Good. It was good. You never know. He's getting kicked out right now, though. It was well timed. It was a good time
Starting point is 00:53:56 to say it. You know what I mean? He didn't yell it out the second he saw you. He had some restraint waiting for you to get three points. All right. He's like, oh, I hope Doug plays that game where he might get three points. When do people ever get a L3 for Adam?
Starting point is 00:54:21 All right, so I got to work out this order thing because it doesn't make sense. It comes to me now. I guess, yeah, I guess we should start with you and then we'll go to Lamar and Keith. Me last again? Okay. You know, what goes around goes around.
Starting point is 00:54:35 Okay. Whatever that means. Ramon, what's a top three movie featuring Mr. Alec Baldwin? Someone either made a cat noise or a fart. It was like... Alec. Baldwin. Meow. Alec Baldwin.
Starting point is 00:55:18 Joseph for inflation. That really doesn't matter in most of these. Okay. Because I don't know what inflation is. You should have worked for Tom Brady. Nice. Nice. You'd be good on the witness stand.
Starting point is 00:55:46 I would say Alec Baldwin's top grossing. I wouldn't expect you to. Let's go with Glen Gary, Glen Ross. Okay. There you go. That seems like some inflation would have fucked with it. The Morn. The Departed.
Starting point is 00:56:06 It's like Family Feud. You guys are really supportive. I was going to say Hunt for Red October, but I'm going to go with Mission Impossible, Rogue Nation. I just like the idea of a movie called The Hunt for Red October,
Starting point is 00:56:23 but... Oh, boy. Well, the good news is that we get to play another round. Oh, fuck. The bad news is you guys missed these entirely. It's not... Your guesses were all excellent but coming in at number three I don't know why I at least knew it because I'm looking right
Starting point is 00:56:50 at it Madagascar escaped to Africa oh yeah I would never guess that coming in at number two, Hunt for Red October. You had it. You had it in your hands. It was yours. Like the Mission Impossible movie? That made a lot of money. It did pretty good, but adjusted for inflation. This Hunt for Red October
Starting point is 00:57:16 really kicked ass. And then another one that you wouldn't think would be number one. Cool World? Not Cool World. Is he in Cool World? I don't think would be number one. Cool World? Not Cool World. Is he in Cool World? I don't think he is. It's Brad Pitt. Yeah, it's Brad Pitt.
Starting point is 00:57:32 Yeah. And then I remember the tagline for that movie was, Holly would if she could. I don't know what's happening. Pearl Harbor. Pearl fucking Harbor. These are all movies I've never seen. Oh, there you go.
Starting point is 00:58:04 I like Hunt for Red October very much. All right, let's do another round Let's start with Lamorne gets to start this time Then we'll go to Ramon Let's do it No wait Then we'll go to Keith
Starting point is 00:58:12 We'll go to Keith You're right You always do go last I've been fucking this up Okay Alright You'll go second Ice Cube
Starting point is 00:58:20 Adjusted for inflation People are sad for you Adjusted for inflation. People are sad for you. Adjusted for inflation. Coat stars. Shit. I'm going to say, I want to say Friday because I know that, but motherfuckers be stealing that. Niggas in the hood, man, I'm telling you, they watch that shit from a hustle man on the corner. I'm sure IMDB
Starting point is 00:58:47 didn't tally that in there. Black dollars don't matter. But black points don't count. I'm going to say Ride Along. That's what I was going to say. Fuck. No, I'm not good.
Starting point is 00:59:06 I think he made some more movies than that. He did. I'm trying to think of like his family films. Because those are like... He did one movie that was triple X. That movie did not do well. State of the Onion. Oh, fuck.
Starting point is 00:59:34 I'm thinking like Daddy Day Camp. No, no. I'm going to do Are We There Yet? Yes. That's a good pick. Yeah. All right. Ramone?
Starting point is 00:59:49 Ice Cube. All right. Definitely no Friday movies because of what you said. Definitely not Boys in the Hood because I feel people fucked with it, but they didn't pay to go see it. They didn't want to be all sad and shit. Ice Cube. Damn.
Starting point is 01:00:15 Ride Along 2? Well, coming in at number three was, in fact, Ride Along. Yes. Yeah. So, Lamorne got one point for that. And so that boosts him up to four points. Four points. And then the other two films you gentlemen said
Starting point is 01:00:41 did not make the top three. Yes. I know, it's very sad. At number two, 21 Jump Street. Yeah, and number one, 22 Jump Street. Yeah. I couldn't remember those. So I got one more round ready to go,
Starting point is 01:00:57 because I thought it might come down to this. I thought it might be, you know, with such a distinguished panel that we'd have a close race. So basically, whoever can... I hope we don't end up in a tie because I don't know what will happen then. What are the scores of my enemies?
Starting point is 01:01:13 It might get physical. What are the scores of my enemies? I have two. Keith has got three points and Ramon has two. Fuck. Okay. Yeah, so you're right there. You're right there. You're right there.
Starting point is 01:01:26 You just got to throw the balls into the right holes. Basketball reference? No, the game at the carnival where you're a horse going across the thing and you're just one thing away. You just got to get that ball
Starting point is 01:01:41 where you're like squirting the water. That would also work. That's another game where you can win by inches. I always do. What's the game? So we'll start with Keith. Go to Ramone. And the actor's name is Willem Dafoe.
Starting point is 01:02:07 The original shithead. I gotta figure at least one person has gone up to Willem Dafoe and goes, you know Doug Benson used to call you a shithead on his podcast? And he was probably just like, wah. Benson used to call you a shithead on this podcast. And he was probably just like, Who are we waiting on? What? The English patient. The English patient is your answer?
Starting point is 01:02:47 That made $100 million. I should act like it has a chance. That made $100 million. The English patient is your answer like it has a chance that made a hundred million spider-man he said spider- Yeah. Don't forget the English patient. The English patient is off the table. He's resting comfortably. Man's always trying to do some constant gardening, though. This patient made $100 million, guys. I'm just saying. Adjusted for inflation? That's like $120.
Starting point is 01:03:27 It's probably way up there, Johnson. You're right. Zero black dollars, though. It's just up against some real heavy hitters. Like, that is not a clue at all ah damn it uh i have two choices here i could say the correct answer i could say the wrong answer you just need to get points yeah But one of them's the correct answer. One of them's the wrong...
Starting point is 01:04:06 The problem is there's multiple incorrect answers. Wasn't he in like... Shit, didn't he do like a flashback scene where he was in another Spider-Man? Oh, possibly. But you have to decide with your own brain. I'm going to say Spider-Man 2.
Starting point is 01:04:29 All right. That's why I said fuck a duck. I was going to say John Wick. Coming in at number three. The English patient. Spider-Man 2.
Starting point is 01:04:42 Yeah! Here we go. Oh, no. All the best guests just blew Lamorne with their tiny, tiny mouths. Fuck your Hall of Fame! Put me in this shit next time.
Starting point is 01:05:11 Yeah, I think you will be in there the next time. I've been on your show twice. I have a good feeling about it. Two for... You deserve it. I've been on it three times. No, I'm saying two for two. I've been on this show.
Starting point is 01:05:21 All right, so the movie that came in second It's kind of a trick question I guess Finding Nemo Yeah that movie Was huge It's so big they're going to make a movie About the fish that's got the
Starting point is 01:05:40 Short term memory loss What's her name? Dory I can't wait to see's her name? Dory. I can't wait to see that movie about Finding Dory. I still haven't seen Finding Nemo. Oh, you must.
Starting point is 01:05:54 Did you know they made a sequel called Finding Dory? That's what I heard. Do I have to watch the first one? I hope they don't find her because honestly that's an irritating
Starting point is 01:06:01 character trait that she can't remember what just happened. But speaking can't remember what just happened. But speaking of that, what just happened? Number one, Spider Man. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:17 Ramone and Lamorne have tied. So now we have to play a playoff game just for the two of them. Let's tie our wrists together and knife fight. Yeah. Q beat it. Let's do this.
Starting point is 01:06:31 You got Michael Jackson's beat it ready to go? That's Billie Jean. Good beatboxing, Ramone. That wasn't me, man. Oh, shit. I shouldn't have looked into the booth when I said that because it probably made it feel like I really wanted it. But now that it's here, you guys might as well fight. Or do some of the choreography or something.
Starting point is 01:07:15 Wait, what's the tiebreaker? The tiebreaker is going to be a game called Live, Die, Repeat. Okay. Is that what it's called? In certain markets it's called Edge of Tomorrow. I'm going to say Can I just say
Starting point is 01:07:34 before you finish that what sucks about gloating is when I got that question right I 100% believe that I won. I got it more right you got it more right than I did I fucked all these dudes I made them all blow me and now it's a
Starting point is 01:07:51 tiebreaker I feel awful I feel awful yeah but that's what good you know good podcasting is all about I provide the audience with an emotional rollercoaster of laughter and thrills. I'm going to say the name of a movie. First one of the two of you to repeat it back to me. It's the winner of the game. Don't you try to play, Keith. Sit this one out.
Starting point is 01:08:40 We just have to say it back? Just repeat it back. I know. It seems deceptive. That's simple. Just repeat it back. Repeat after me. Here we go.
Starting point is 01:08:59 Is it like Simon says where you have to say some shit first? Just repeat it back. No, I'm just going to say it. I'm just going to say it. I'm just going to say it. All right. Yeah. Here we go. The equalizer.
Starting point is 01:09:19 The equalizer. The Lord won. The Lord. That was it. Now I can say it. Two for two. Those things did not get fucked for nothing. Do you want to do another one just for fun?
Starting point is 01:09:32 Do you want to play one? Yes. It's such a fun game. Pirates of the Caribbean. But you know I love... Goodfellas. Goodfellas. Goodfellas. Alright, let's do it another way.
Starting point is 01:09:59 Don't look them up on your phone. You can't look the answer up. I'm just Snapchatting you do this. Okay, ready? Wait, and go. What's happening? Say the name! Oh, okay, Straight Outta Compton.
Starting point is 01:10:10 Straight Outta Compton! I dominated. I dominated. I dominated. Look, here's the replay. Straight Outta Compton! I fucking dominated. Straight Straight Outta Compton! I won again.
Starting point is 01:10:24 Straight Straight Outta Compton! I abbreviated. I won again. I abbreviated. NWA. I think this game is a disadvantage because my voice is slow, man. You know what I was thinking before we played it? I said, this nigga is high as a kite. There's no way he's gonna defeat me.
Starting point is 01:10:42 Nah, man. Oh, boy. Congrats, you win some bullshit. Well, that was an entertaining hour. Are you doing magic? What are you doing? Just got a lot to deal with over here today. Let's play one more game, you guys.
Starting point is 01:11:06 You in for one more game? Yeah, man. Yeah. Let's do Last Man Stanton. We're going to get a name of an actor and actress from the audience, and then you guys, I'll play along. We'll take turns doing names of movies that person was in. You can't think of one.
Starting point is 01:11:25 You're out. But one time in this game, you can use your person whose name tag you picked as your lifeline. So you can go to them for help. Okay. And just the one time. So use it strategically. All right. Someone named Too Many Turds.
Starting point is 01:11:47 Yeah! He's like a Bill Paxton character. Live, die, repeat. And where'd you come from? Why is your name Too Many Turds? And turds with a Z. What? It's cooler with a Z. It's cooler with a Z, yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:16 Yeah, it's less gross. What do you think is cool? It's more of a hipster turd. Oh, gotcha. You know, it's not just some regular turd that sits in the library. It's a hipster turd. Like this turd likes a good pale ale.
Starting point is 01:12:35 Out of a can. This turd brews his own. All right, and so what's your actual name, dude? Nick. Nick, all right. Oh so what's your actual name, dude? Nick. Nick, all right. Oh, that's more like it. Yeah. There's a name for a person.
Starting point is 01:12:51 All right, Nick, so who would you like us to use for Last Man's Tan this evening? Woody Harrelson. Woody Harrelson. Good luck to us all. He's got some credits under his tongue under under his belt he's got some titles under it we have to stand up what happens now II we got to just take turns naming what he harrelson over his who won the
Starting point is 01:13:17 who won the lived I repeat you did the first one yeah yeah first yes you go first to the rules then we'll go to Ramon and Keith and then me. And I'm going to write them down because that way we can keep track of which ones we've said. You okay? Doug got too high to do his best.
Starting point is 01:13:44 We're still doing it. We're going alright. Don't you worry. Doug, I'm worried about you. I know. He's about to die. Listen, you guys, I ordered an Uber, and I want to be as close to the door as possible when it gets here.
Starting point is 01:14:06 It's a pool, so we'm only waiting for two minutes. Really trying to time this thing out. Yeah, pools are such a pain in the ass, but man, are they cheap. You really save money with that. Okay, so the name is Woody Harrelson, and we start with Lamorne. I think I know which one you're going to say. Obviously.
Starting point is 01:14:26 I think so. It's obvious. Give it to us. White man can't jump. Yeah, you had to say that. I had to. Yeah, okay. Ramon? Now you see me too. Keith. People versus Larry Flint.
Starting point is 01:14:55 It's Doug's turn now. Now it's my turn, yeah. And I have to say, now you see me. Hunger Games. Really? Yeah. Really?
Starting point is 01:15:25 Yeah, that's a real kettle of worms there, those Hunger Games movies, because we go for the exact titles. So be careful. I thought the first one was just Hunger Games. Yeah, you were right. Okay. No, you're good. Natural Born Killers. That's a good one.
Starting point is 01:15:40 Keith. I'm going to go obscure and say Rampart. That's not so obscure. I like that. Yeah. All right. I will go with Wildcats. Oh. Yeah. Yeah
Starting point is 01:16:12 The Hunger Games Mockingjay Fuck Hunger Games Mockingjay I don't think there's a number in there No it's just Hunger Games Mockingjay Alright I don't think there's a number in there. No, it's just Hunger Games Mockingjay. All right, I'll take it.
Starting point is 01:16:28 There's a colon. Kingpin? I literally don't know anymore. Zombieland. I can't believe we lived to a Kingpin. Zombieland. What'd you say? Zombieland.
Starting point is 01:16:46 All right, all right. zombie land alright we're doing the films if you're just joining us the films of Woody Harrelson we established that Cheers is not a film and we're gonna say that the old Woody Harrelson was in Doc Hollywood.
Starting point is 01:17:11 Wait, yes he was. Yeah, that was. We have confirmation from several people. Yes. Because I don't trust myself. I'm sorry. I'm going to put my hands up over my head. You can use your thing if you need help. Don't forget about your lifeline. Nate can help you out. Nate. I'm sorry I'm going to put my hands up over my head So triumphant
Starting point is 01:17:25 Don't forget about your lifeline Nate can help you out Nate what do you got Freebirds Are you sure Freebirds Freebirds A turkey with Owen Wilson
Starting point is 01:17:39 Yes who was A turkey with Owen Wilson movie called Freebirds Yeah Weren't they like Chicken Little or something Yes, he was. A turkey with Owen Wilson? Movie called Freebirds? Yeah. Weren't they like Chicken Little or something? Fucking Walmart-ass cartoon. All right, so even though it's a Walmart-ass cartoon, I will accept it. Ramon, do you want to use your lifeline
Starting point is 01:18:05 or do you have another Woody Harrelson man I had one I just forgot it it's hard to hang on to those sometimes this is a big gamble I'm pretty sure he was in Wild Hogs what are you in Wild Hogs. Was he in Wild Hogs?
Starting point is 01:18:26 What did he do in Wild Hogs? One of them old people. All right. So what happened to your lifeline? Why didn't you use your lifeline? Yeah. Let's use your lifeline. John.
Starting point is 01:18:45 No country for old men. No country for. John. No Country for Old Men. No Country for Old Men. No Country for Old Men. That's a nice pull. That's very good. No Country for Old Men. Cool. Keith.
Starting point is 01:18:54 The Messenger. I was waiting on that one. I was sitting on that. You know too much. You know too much. Sitting on that. I'm pretty much tapped out after that. That's a good one
Starting point is 01:19:06 though, The Messenger. How about The Cowboy Way? Yes. Yeah, this is where everybody's on their own. I'm just gonna make some shit up. He still has his thing.
Starting point is 01:19:27 Oh my God. Just picture him walking in and he's all like, Hi! Hi! Last night I saw Now You See Me too. So all I'm thinking about is him in Now You See Me too, so all I'm thinking about is him in Now You See Me. That's all I can think about right now. Think of all of his great hat rolls.
Starting point is 01:19:52 Every time he wore a pork pie. I do not know. I'm just going to... I think I have one more maybe. Name a movie. I'm just going to say Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. No, sorry. Name a movie. I'm just gonna say Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. No, sorry. Oh man.
Starting point is 01:20:10 Ramon, anything? Woody Harrelson. Oh wait, that's who we're playing? Oh wait, that's who we're playing? Was he in Mars Attacks? No. I'm just trying to think of movies that have a bunch of people. That's a pretty smart approach.
Starting point is 01:20:41 Keith? The Hunger Games Catching Fire. Oh damn you. Oh, boy. No, he wasn't in Catching Fire. He was only in the first one. He was in them all. Nice try. As I recall from what I just
Starting point is 01:21:00 when I came home, I was watching him. Oh, man. I've just been standing there thinking I'm never coming up with anything. I'm out already. I can do whatever I want. You think you can't
Starting point is 01:21:18 come up with anything and then suddenly it's like you're fucking hit by a money train. It's like you're fucking hit by a money train. Oh, damn. You want to use your lifeline? Hold on. Good Fullers. Fullers, what do you got, good Fullers?
Starting point is 01:21:43 Thanks, Fullers. Any Woody Harrelson? Huh? Pump? I'm going to say Pump. It's just the name tag owner. Who's got the name tag? But what did he say?
Starting point is 01:22:00 A scanner darkly. A scanner darkly. Do you want to go with scanner darkly? Yes, because I remember, I saw that movie. He was in it. I think that's pretty legit. Yes, that's correct. Yeah, he's in it. Great.
Starting point is 01:22:10 Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. He's not in a Scanner Darkly, though. I'm going to try another one. I'm going to need everybody's support on this. Oh, you got another one? Oh, shit.
Starting point is 01:22:26 We're going to stay at this. Or maybe. I hope mine is right. The thin red line? Yes. Yay. I knew there were a lot of people. Indecent proposal.
Starting point is 01:22:38 Oh, you son of a bitch. That's a classic. Holy cow. That might have brought it home right there. that's a classic holy cow that might really that might have brought it home right there oh no oh okay
Starting point is 01:22:54 I got like a kind of a weird guess that is another one that maybe he might have might have stuck his face in there does he have a cameo in Surfer Dude? I think he does.
Starting point is 01:23:08 I think he fucking does. Is he in Wild Things? As what? As an actor? I don't think so. Kevin Bacon, Bill Murray, Matt Dillon. Oh, I'm thinking of Kevin Bacon, I think.
Starting point is 01:23:32 Fuck. Yeah, once you see a guy's dick, it's like... Could just be... All right, then I'm out. Could be anybody. Then I'm out. But you are a winner in terms of who you're playing for in the audience. Oh, man.
Starting point is 01:23:49 Good Fullers, come get all your stuff. It's quite a lot of stuff, including this card game that's a piece of shit. Such a hit. Oh, watch out, there's stuff in the hat. Be careful. And then that big, huge bag. Sorry about that.
Starting point is 01:24:04 Oh, this is this is terrible there you go congratulations congratulations good job guys I thought we had it see I didn't know the rules I'm sorry man what's the shit head six situation here is this associated shit on it it's super old okay well it doesn't have to be topical necessarily and we got to remove this somehow people are making this shit really complicated now I understand how they feel like on an award show when they can't open the shit a lot of pressure then there's nothing Oh, it's just written right on it.
Starting point is 01:24:46 Okay. All right, guys. Got any plugs? What do you want to plug? My web series. Keith broke his leg. I feel like I've already plugged it. Getbroken.com.
Starting point is 01:25:03 It's really funny, guys. Yeah, people love it. Lots of people.'ve already plugged it. Getbroken.com. It's really funny, guys. Yeah, people love it. Lots of people. Louis C.K. said he liked it. Nice. So, smell me. Ramon? I have my comedy festival in Cleveland, August 26th through 28th.
Starting point is 01:25:21 Go to accidentalcomedy.com for info on that. And then I'm starting to tour a little bit so you can go to my website blazer Ramone.com does that get a laugh every time sometimes depends on the crowd yeah all right and if I
Starting point is 01:25:39 have a blazer on or not and a toothpick this is a long ass shithead a blazer on her. And a toothpick. This is a long ass shithead. Just the end part? Then why is all the other words there for it? It says,
Starting point is 01:25:57 Dear player, thanks for choosing my name tag. I hope you play well and take home that prize bag. So sweet! Why are you hoping they get to take home the prize bag however if for some reason you don't win then Doug will read my shit I have written it below please do not read it out loud. And then there it is. I'm going to read both of these at the end of the show. Lamar Norris.
Starting point is 01:26:33 Yo. New Girl. That's right. Fox. No doubt. Fox, Tuesdays at 9. Tuesdays at 9. If y'all trying to get wet, watch this show.
Starting point is 01:26:46 New Girl gets you wet. I knew you'd have a sexy plug there at the end and really bring everybody back around. One more time for all my guests. Lamorne Morris, Ramon Rivas II, and Keith Powell. Money in the bank with all these guys. And as always, the Owen and Deckard show are
Starting point is 01:27:19 shitheads. And homophobes are shitheads. And homophobes are shitheads. Now it's time for Doug to walk with the dirt hockey. He's a loaded viewing crowd with fake tip hockey. There's no room in the park for you because Doug loves movies.

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