Doug Loves Movies - Ken Jennings, Emma Arnold and Geoff Tate guest
Episode Date: January 17, 2016Live from the Neptune Theatre in Seattle, Doug welcomes Ken Jennings, Emma Arnold and Geoff Tate to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at... https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hey, hey, hey!
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Doug hates
candy wrappers screaming baby
sticky seeds with 50
acid pop or kernels in his
teeth there's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies.
Coming to you once again, good job, once again,
from one of my favorite homes away from home,
the B.E.A.utiful Neptune Theater.
Yes.
Where the gods guard over a jacuzzi filled with diarrhea.
In Seattle, Washington!
All right, what day is it? It's Saturday. Yeah, you guys know the weed is good here. It's Saturday, January 16th, 2016.
Let me Seahawk your name tags.
Oh, boy.
So many.
Probably this might be, you guys in New York might be the biggest turnout for name tags.
Even some good ones up in the balcony.
Apologies.
You're never going to get picked.
Maybe, maybe somebody will say, throw that down here.
Yeah, it could happen.
I have faith in all of you.
But so many light up ones and so much craftsmanship.
I hope my guests don't pick like shitheads
and pick some of these good ones.
You can put them down now, though,
because I do not.
I don't get involved in the selection process.
And the people sitting behind you
would like to see the show
and not the wire works on the back of your big piece of cardboard,
so you can light up for extra attention.
Doug's Plugs, Sunday.
That's, yeah, about a week from tomorrow, January 24th.
I'm doing stand-up at the Plaza Hotel in Vegas,
also at 420-ish.
You guys know the drill.
What time did this show start?
431, right?
Yeah.
I'm bringing along a Douglas Movies fan favorite
to play games with you,
so bring your name tags, Las Vegas.
Same for you, San Antonio Banderas,
where I will be on Saturday,
January 30th at, wait
for it, LOL
Comedy Club.
Not the
elegant Neptune
Theater.
I'm going to be at LOL.
Bring your
laughs down to LOL.
They're welcome.
Never been to this club,
and I'm already giving it such a hard time.
Douglovesmovies.com for all my tour dates.
That's Douglovesmovies.com.
Now it's time for Tweet Relief,
tweets about movies.
At NoCanDefense,
whatever that means,
tweeted,
they should reboot the film Munich
and call it Olympics Has Fallen.
This has been Tweet Relief,
Reboot Munich Edition.
I just love the idea that he wrote a joke about rebooting Munich.
What's what reboots are next?
Sophie's Choice?
The Pianist?
Can't be far behind.
I got a lovely prize bag, you guys,
full of heavenly delights
that I accrued over time and brought to you.
A VHS tape of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Yeah.
A terrific episode called The Zeppo.
Yeah, so you're going to get that.
Somebody's going to get that tonight.
Wait, there's another VHS tape.
Oh, Dawson's Creek.
Episode 109 called Friday the 13th.
Every episode of Dawson's Creek was named after a motion picture.
Did you know that?
Probably not.
The original soundtrack from the television series Weeds Volume 2
is in the bag.
A plate and some nuts and dried fruits
that they gave me at my hotel
is in the bag.
A Poke Bowl featured on Getting Dug With High
is in the Mother Grabbin' bag.
This is unbelievable, you guys.
This bag.
An At Midnight t-shirt. I brought you
guys something from everywhere I've been lately. Oh yeah, in fact, some earplugs
from the Standard Hotel in Los Angeles. And the piece of resistance. I don't think it was, I don't know if it was the last time I was here
or the time before that
but a dude gave me several
he made these
because he's a metallurgist
Seahawk
bottle openers
and I got one left
I saved one for myself
but I gotta put one in the bag
and say, you know,
10 a.m. tomorrow?
So that worked out good for you guys.
You get fucked up.
This show's going to be over at 6,
so you can be fucked up and in bed
by like 7, 8 o'clock
and get up and, you know,
pregame and tailgate
or whatever it is you do
when it's raining.
Do people tailgate the parking lot in the rain?
Okay, I forgot how hardy you guys are.
Yeah, we do, motherfucker!
Are you going to win tomorrow?
Yeah!
Oh, no.
Don't do that.
Don't do that to me.
Oh, my God.
It's almost as bad as chanting Rufio.
Some people just want to chant.
They just can't.
Anything comes up that's chantable, they'll jump in.
You're chanting about chants now?
Take a chance on me.
Great ABBA hit.
Let's get my guests out here, you guys. I think...
You're all, you know...
You're all Doug Loves Movies detectives,
so you probably know which three people are here today,
but I'm going to say them anyway for the listeners.
Please give a big, warm welcome
to Emma Arnold, Jeff Tate, and Ken Jennings.
What did you yell?
You want to have Jeff Tate's baby,
and you are, in fact, a man, correct?
This can be arranged.
Yeah, I guess,
it's too much to yell out in one thing,
so that's probably why you left it out,
but you'd want to try to get like a surrogate to carry the baby.
Got anybody in mind for that?
I'm thinking maybe Scarlett Johansson.
She'd be a good surrogate.
I'm fine with that, too.
Okay.
That's Jeff Tate, everybody.
Hello.
Hello, Seattle.
Hello, Seattle is right.
You are here performing at the Comedy Underground.
Yes, sir.
All weekend.
Two shows tonight, 8 and 10.
Do they still say at Swanee's, or is it just Comedy Underground?
I don't think they say that Swanee's part.
Oh, Swanee's is next door still.
Yeah.
Maybe.
I don't know what Swanee's is.
I know that this is in a park called Pioneer Square.
Yeah.
Yep.
Just the Comedy Underground called Pioneer Square. Yeah. Yep. Just the comedy underground.
At Pioneer Square.
The corner of South Washington and Occidental.
I don't know why that's so hilarious to everybody,
but all that information seems accurate to me.
And you're going to be there tonight at 8,
so that's plenty of time for you guys to get over there for that.
And then 10, which there's too much time.
I do not recommend that you wait until the 10 o'clock
because you will be shit-faced.
Or you can go to the 8 o'clock tomorrow,
and that's like, again, that's like enough.
Sunday, tomorrow, 8 o'clock also.
Listeners might even be able to jump on that one
because this will come out tomorrow.
And there's literally nothing else
that you'll be doing all day.
There's not a single other thing
that anybody in Seattle would possibly
care about tomorrow.
So just relax
and then come to the show.
Don't let the rain
stop you.
Holy shit, if the rain stopped you guys from doing stuff.
We'd be in Los Angeles.
All right, so let's meet our next contestant
on The Price is Right.
You know her from, she's been on the show before
and is currently on tour doing a bunch of shows with Jeff Tate, including, she's going to be at the Comedy Underground, too.
It's Emma Arnold, everybody.
Hi.
Thank you for having me.
I'm excited to be here.
She lets her, you let, I'll talk to you like you're here. You let your...
You let your children
listen to this program.
They're going to listen to this fucking show
that we're doing right now.
I do. I do let them listen to this.
They're big fans.
Please feel free to tweet your opinions of that at me.
People do.
I need to know what you think of my parenting, apparently.
So, let me have it.
What are their ages?
Doesn't matter.
Is there any message you'd like to...
I hear the two-year-old is the most into it.
No, no.
No, they're the perfectly reasonable ages
of 7, 10, 10, 12, 12, and 15.
Yeah.
All of those ages can watch R-rated movies.
Sure, sure.
Thanks to the internet.
And all you do is go to click.
I don't let them watch violent stuff,
but I don't care about curse words and boobies.
Thank you.
Oh, man.
In that case, let's throw a screening party for them
and show them National Lampoon's Animal House.
Because it's all swearing and boobies.
Woo!
Yeah.
It only gets violent if you're an alcohol bottle of some kind.
Or food.
They did just trick me into, they were like, let's watch Ted.
It's a kid's movie with a teddy bear.
And I was like, okay.
And we were a few minutes into it.
And I'm like, you guys are real full of shit.
This is not a family movie at all.
You tricked me.
It turns out.
Turns out.
In a shocking twist. Yeah. But the seven-year-old talked you into it. Yes. You tricked me. It turns out. Turns out. In a shocking twist.
Yeah.
But the seven-year-old talked you into it.
Yes.
And then he had seen it before.
Yep.
That's true.
Tweet me your feelings on that.
What happened when Ted 2 came around?
Did they try again?
I don't know.
They've probably seen it.
I haven't, but they probably have seen it.
I like to think that the seven-year-old
doesn't much care for sequels.
That's the stand he takes.
They're never as good, Mom.
No, yeah.
They wrapped it up so nicely.
Why?
You know, sex comedies and dirty jokes
are the closest thing we have to sex ed in this country,
so I'm very happy about it.
And speaking of being educated,
this next...
Wow.
Yeah, pretty good, right?
Did you guys see that?
This next smarty pants that I brought out here
is always invited every time I'm in Seattle.
Let's hear it for Ken Jennings, everybody.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Like all the famous people out of this area
are also super smart.
You, Bill Nye.
The science guy.
Like, that needed to be said?
Not the guy from Love, actually.
He's not from here.
Yeah, not Bill Nye.
Nye.
Nye.
How's it going, Ken?
It's good.
I have two kids as well, and they never listen to this program.
Bad.
That's the year you're playing it right, I think.
It's a condition in my will.
I do whatever it takes to keep them from ever meeting Doug or listening to this show.
If any of you ever see me with my kids in public, please do not come up to us
or acknowledge that this program exists.
If you need ten waters,
I have them here on this stage.
I think they thought the ghost of Robin Williams
was going to do a show.
It's the only... That's the comic that had a bunch of water bottles
on a table on stage when he performed.
We all got the joke.
A brilliant man, horrible that he's gone,
but we're still talking about him, aren't we?
He would laugh harder than any of you at that joke.
Let's hear it for him.
All right.
Speaking of dead people,
we might as well get right into it
now that I brought it up.
And then we'll talk about
what you guys brought for the prize bag.
But real quick,
let's just go down the line.
Favorite Alan Rickman movie.
Yeah, the great Alan Rickman.
If you're just finding out now
by listening to the podcast that he's gone,
I apologize for how weirdly secluded you are.
But Jeff, what's your favorite Alan Rickman movie?
Galaxy Quest.
Oh, shoot.
I didn't say that.
That is correct.
Galaxy Quest.
Oh, shoot.
I was going to say that.
That is correct.
Tell the truth.
Emma, what's your favorite Alan Rickman movie?
Well, I was going to say Galaxy Quest, but I liked all the Harry Potters.
I thought he was great.
Yeah, tell the truth.
And Ken?
I also would have said Galaxy Quest.
And we already talked about Love Actually,
which I think is all of our favorite movies.
I dare to say I haven't liked a single movie
with a comma in the title in the history of cinema.
Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.
What?
Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.
That has commas in it?
Right?
The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly?
Yeah, I guess it has one comma in there.
I stand erected.
Die hard.
Die hard.
That, too, is my favorite.
Hans down.
So... There's nothing like the passing of a great actor
to give me the opportunity for bad punditry.
But, yeah, rest in peace, Alan Rickman.
He was super awesome.
What'd you bring for the prize bag today, Jeff?
I brought...
Hang on.
Fuck.
I got a couple of things.
Here we go.
The rest is hers.
I brought a stitch kit from speakersilence.org
for that organization.
It's a non-profit that provides pro bono counseling
to the adult survivors of child sex abuse.
So there's that.
I brought Beetlejuice on DVD.
And one of our tour shirts.
It's got me and Emma on it.
This is an extra small.
So, no, hang on.
Hang on.
Yeah, that's going to be sexy on just about anybody.
If you win,
if you win,
and you're not a baby,
bring this to the Comedy Underground
and it's two free tickets to come into a show tonight if you want.
And also, we'll just trade it for a shirt that does fit you.
And for the listeners, I should reiterate
that the shirt is part of the reason
they cheered so much for it
is because you guys look like Chewbacca and Han Solo.
Yes.
On the shirt.
It's very nicely drawn up.
I'm Chewbacca, just in case you were wondering.
And Emma looks like Han Solo on the shirt.
It's a good shirt.
Is there still people, is there anybody in here that's, you know,
is psyched to see Star Wars but has still not watched it yet?
Oh, my God.
Why aren't you doing that right now?
Why are you here?
We try to have a nice secret Star Wars meeting
so we can finally talk about it.
I get 600 of my greatest Seattle friends into a room
and two dozen of you ruin it.
Did you guys not hear that it was out already?
Had you missed...
But you guys must have already heard some spoilers and are already unhappy about it, right?
Yeah.
Okay.
What did you bring for the prize bag, Emma?
I brought some of the honey from my bees.
Yeah.
And I brought a t-shirt from speakyoursilence.org. And the creator of it, Matt Pipkin, said to say thank you to the DLM listeners because they've gotten a ton of donations online from people.
And they've had a bunch of people contact about free counseling.
So that's very cool.
Wow.
And then I also, where did it go?
I made, oh, shoot, where did it go?
Oh, here it is.
I made a little patch that says, it's a little patch that says, Doug loves my way.
Do your kids go, do they drive you crazy with the my wife thing?
Whenever somebody says my wife, do they do it?
Yeah, sometimes.
Well, yeah, especially when I'm like, I know your wife's name, Deborah. You could just say Deborah and I went somewhere, but they'll be like my wife do they do it yeah sometimes well yeah especially when i'm like i know your wife's name it's deborah you could just say deborah and i went somewhere but they'll be like my wife
and i and it'll always ping in my head my wife just like you do so that's awesome thank you very
much and you brought it all in a bag do you have a bag too jeff no mine was in that bag you're all
in this here one okay cool ken what do you got for the... You brought a bag,
so somebody's going to win three bags tonight.
It's a triple bagger.
Mine is just an empty bag.
It has other bags in it.
It has a bag of organic onion rings.
Crispy, in case that's how you like it.
A hat from the Indianapolis Motor Speedway.
Can I see those onion rings?
It's going to have an opened bag of...
Organic onion rings.
A bathroom magazine rack that...
I'm just going to try one. That's everything?
A copy of my latest book,
The Junior Genius Guide to Ancient Egypt.
Yay!
Look how into Ancient Egypt you guys are.
Wow.
I had no idea.
We should talk after.
It's pretty cool.
They invented the toothbrush?
It's hard to just try one
because they're all intertwined with each other.
It's like barrel full of monkeys in here,
but with onions.
Oh, I don't like that at all.
Oh, I don't like that at all.
That's going to be easy to part with.
One lucky winner.
Somebody might like it.
Who?
Whenever a new food comes along, I'm kind of like,
if that tasted good,
it would already be popular.
Somebody would have already figured that one out.
Somebody's going to win all of that stuff tonight if they brought a name tag
and they get chosen
and then the person playing for them
is our winner.
So it's a long road ahead.
So don't start spending those onion rings.
But at least when you win, we don't ever, like, you know,
20 minutes later realize that you weren't the winner
and then, yeah, those poor lottery people.
Or like Steve Harvey grabbing your onion rings away.
I'm sorry, it said onion rings on the card.
It's right here on the card.
It says onion rings on the card.
So I took your onion rings and...
He's used to the answer just flipping over on the board.
Survey says, oh, Miss Columbia, number one answer.
It's much easier over on the feud.
Welcome back to the feud.
I'm Steve Harvey.
I like doing Steve Harvey impressive.
What?
Why did they have to go back and change it?
It's not like it matters.
Right.
Like, she's not in charge of the universe now.
It's a thing that, like, is going to be shut down
in another year or two at most.
Like, it's going to stop being a thing
when it's like you can only watch it on the internet
on, you know, some weird site.
SpikeTV.com
It's going to be one of the Spanish stations
but not the two you get.
Some other weird one.
It's only going to air on that screen
that runs on top of gas stations
at Shell.
Was that clunky enough for everybody?
Ken, what was the last motion picture that you saw
with your children or without them?
With my children or without...
I have a 13-year-old boy, so I've seen Star Wars three times.
With your 13-year-old every time?
With him every time.
You haven't gone off on an adult one?
Like one just for you?
Waiting for the porno parody.
And then I would have a funny line here.
A funny pun on Force Awakens.
Yeah, something about a
boner awakening or something.
I've already made
plenty of awaken-baconing
puns. I saw it again
today and
liked it even better than I did
the first time. I saw it at the
Cinerama here in town, which is
amazing theater.
Chocolate popcorn!
What? Chocolate popcorn!
Yeah, I saw it
at 11.15 a.m. screening. I had a nice IPA that I was drinking,
sitting in the middle of the front row.
They showed the Duck Dodgers in the 21st century cartoon,
the old Warner Brothers classic,
which I still, every time I see it or any of those cartoons,
I can't get over that the same guy does all the voices.
And if you've ever seen Mel Blanc,
the way he looks is not like it. He was kind of
like a Danny DeVito
kind of looking guy.
Small, but he was Mexican, I believe.
I don't know.
Cuban.
Mel Blanco.
But
his voices are so
hilarious.
And the crowd was eating it up, laughing at all the gags
and stuff.
The disintegrator gun, and all that shit.
And it was really fun to see that before Star Wars.
So if you're in the Seattle area, I recommend it.
But I guess it's hard to get tickets there.
The 3 o'clock and the 7 o'clock were sold out.
That's sort of a Star Wars thing.
Generally, you can get into Cinerama,
but yeah, it's been sold out for weeks.
Oh, you think so everywhere it's playing?
Because I thought maybe it was just still selling out here
because Cinerama is such a cool place to see it.
It's as big as fake IMAX, you know?
And you don't have to mess with the 3Ds.
Another thing I loved about it.
And they have Paul Allen's nerdy
Stormtrooper outfit collection in the lobby.
Did you see the costume?
I didn't see that.
I was too busy going in to watch the movie
to look at the costumes.
I do always stop and look at that stuff
when I notice it,
but for some reason I went the wrong way.
Are they sitting right by the... I jimmied
the exit door and snuck in, so
you don't get to see all the
lobby stuff when you...
You don't get the perks. When you do that.
But, yeah,
it was really... But I just was really...
I've just... I've got
an inner peace about... My friend Jacob
Seroff is a, you know,
defender of the prequels
and he was just on this show
and he's getting a lot of heat for it
but you know what
I'll still never enjoy the prequels
they'll still be boring and lame to me but
I'm going to embrace
them more I think just because
now that there's this new
one that actually feels like the old
George Lucas ones I just sort of feel like it just had a bad period,
but that George Lucas deserves credit for creating the whole thing.
Because seeing Han Solo again, this isn't a spoiler,
just seeing him and Chewie, the first time they walk in,
the theater just erupts,
and today probably a bunch of people have already seen it already.
They're just as exciting to see them,
and that's because those characters
were created by George Lucas.
So he deserves all the credit.
Yeah, right?
But man, were those prequels fucking stupid.
It makes me like the prequels less, actually.
Right, it makes you angrier about them
because it's like, why couldn't they have just done this?
So you can make good Star Wars movies they were just
choosing not to this whole time
he just went off in a different way
I just like to look at it like you know
like maybe like some lunatic came in
and took over it's like outsider art
like he's Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
like he was more reasonable in the beginning
and then he went crazy and now
he's just you know he's not involved and I guess he's
bitter about it,
but he should be happy because they did a great job
of using what he created.
Was that the last thing you guys saw too?
You went and saw it at the Cinerama?
Yeah, we went yesterday.
They have terrible cookies.
Terrible ones?
They're gluten, soy, and dairy free.
Oh, I thought you were about to say
that they're just gluten cookies.
No.
They're something Graham would like.
There's some guys yelling about brownies now.
Anyway, those cookies.
I ate both of them, but I did not enjoy it.
I didn't slow down either.
I just chomped through both
of them, but...
Do you think some people would like those brownies?
Graham.
Elle would. Only. Okay.
That's good. That's
putting a positive spin on it. Because we like
that theater. We don't want them to be mad at us for
bragging on their brownies. Oh, no.
The theater was amazing, and it was
cookies that I ate. I don't know why people keep saying brownies.
I'm getting very confused.
The seats are a really good size.
You could stack so many brownies
on each of the armrests
and be like, I got so many brownies,
I never want to have a cookie again.
Emma's so little,
she couldn't get her seat to lean back.
No, the whole time,
mine was all leaned forward
and everybody else looked comfortable
and I was like, oh.
I love Taraji P. Henson on Empire.
She plays a character named Brownie
and at the Golden Globes,
she was throwing out brownies to everybody.
She's like, I got a brownie for you
and a brownie for you.
I'm brownie.
It's a little racist, right?
It's super racist, yeah.
Why would she?
Yeah.
If somebody takes that out of context,
you've got to be talking about brownies first
before you can even attempt that joke.
And even then, it was a terrible, terrible idea.
I got a brownie from Dockside Cannabis the other night.
That was good.
That's a nice plug.
Maybe they'll send you a little something.
They'll send you something in Ohio
and you'll go to jail for it.
The balcony speaks.
The Revenant.
I saw The Revenant last week.
Oh, nice.
Yeah, that's a punishing movie.
Yes.
Yeah, punishes Leonardo DiCaprio's character,
Hugh Glass, and it punishes the viewer. Yeah, punishes Leonardo DiCaprio's character, Hugh Glass,
and it punishes the viewer.
Yeah.
Not quite as much.
The viewers don't get raped by a bear.
You do have to watch it happen.
I feel like you read a little into that scene.
I don't think he actually rapes the dude.
Oh, no.
Well, I like to say that after that attack, he would be grateful if that bear had just raped him. Oh, no. Well, I like to say that after that attack,
he would be grateful if that bear had just
raped him. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Well, yeah, if it's an either-or situation.
That could not have hurt nearly as much if they
just made sweet love.
It's those
claws that are a problem. Unless he's got a
claw on the end of his penis, then
that's probably the
softest part of the bear.
If you want a part of a bear
being jammed at you violently,
probably the penis is the one
that might not cut your skin open.
This is just,
I want to warn Emma's kids
about how dangerous,
the dangers of bears.
No, you know, they saw it
and they really didn't like it.
I'm totally joking.
They didn't see it.
They did not see Revenant.
I'm just kidding.
It's about a cute bear, Mom.
It's about a bear.
It's a ring, Mom.
That's what you're supposed to do now
during a bear attack.
Like, it used to be play dead,
then it would be real big.
Now it's just...
Now it's try to win an Oscar.
And try to, right?
Try to get that bear to fuck you. Right? You try to woo
the bear. Seduce the bear. Hey, sexy.
Yeah. Ooh.
Be the bear.
Yeah, it's, that movie's
crazy. Like, and that's not even,
like, there's a multitude of insane things
that happen in that movie, and they shot
it out in the real snow. There's very multitude of insane things that happen in that movie. And they shot it out in the real snow.
There's very little CGI or studio work on it.
And everybody killed themselves making that thing.
Some people say the movie has no heart,
but I just think it's so intense
that I don't really care that it doesn't have sappy parts.
The story wasn't absolutely the strongest,
but it was so gorgeous, and it was
like, I felt like
Leonardo DiCaprio was like, well, you're really committed to this.
You're really in that river, and
Yeah.
I get an Oscar, apparently. I gotta go
in this river, and they'll give me an Oscar
in eight months. Yeah, or you gotta, you know, you gotta
play, like, you know, you gotta put on
prosthetic makeup, or you gotta have a disease, or, you know, like, there's just always, there's just
the kind of roles that just sort of stand out, like they're gonna win, and that's the
interesting thing about this year, is it's kind of, it seems like it's down to Leo and
Matt Damon, and they're both not, not those kind of roles, but they're both, you know,
they both put a lot into what they did.
Well, I heard The Martian was also shot, like, on Mars.
That's what I'm saying.
Like, he had to...
Matt Damon had to buy a ticket from Richard Branson,
and he had to be on a waiting list.
Then he had to go up there and cook with his own shit.
Like, that's not easy.
No.
They started filming it in 1997.
It takes a long time to get to Mars and back.
Listen, Jeff, we're running behind.
Then wait, so he made rounders on the way to Mars?
Yeah.
Like in the rocket, he's making rounders or whatever.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That is insane.
That's dedication to your craft.
Ed Norton should have won for having to go to Mars
without even being in that movie.
I heard the first time they filmed the scene of Malkovich
dropping the chips and saying,
splashing the chips, splashing the chips.
They all just floated.
They just floated away.
And it just ruined the take.
They're like, the chips have to hit the table to splash.
We've got to get out of zero gravity pronto.
So what they did was they turned the set over
so that when he dropped the key.
Yeah, it was on a giant gimbal.
He was hanging upside down,
and then when he splashed the pot,
it was just dropping him up.
It's a very, very...
Go back and watch Rounders knowing that now,
that it was filmed on the way to Mars
that was the part of the show where I say
let the games begin
name tag
step out of the shadows
can we get a little bit of house lights up Name tag, step out of the shadows.
Can we get a little bit of house lights up so that my guests can see the glorious...
This is...
Oh, there's a drone!
There's a drone name tag.
It had to happen.
It had to fucking happen.
Did somebody else just chuck something up here?
Like, well, it's not a drone, but... All right, we got to go to a commercial break.
We'll be right back.
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today. Back to the
show.
We're back. Who are you guys
playing for? It looks like
Emma got herself a drone.
I did. I'm playing for
V for Victor. He flew it. He flew it right to my seat. You get to keep a drone. I did. I'm playing for V for Victor.
He flew it. He flew it right to my seat.
You get to keep that drone.
I do. This is mine now.
I can't believe the guy who brought a drone to the theater is a fan of V for Vendetta and that whole culture.
Isn't that surprising to you guys?
Unbelievable.
Yeah, it seems like a sort of mix-up.
You look like you're a child small.
So I thought that shirt would fit you.
It's not an insult.
You small drone owner.
He's a small drone guy.
He's a cute little guy.
He's cute.
We had a remote control helicopter
one time a few years ago.
It's probably been like four years now,
but this is our first drone, so congratulations on that.
And now I look forward to having to duck
after I say, let's see your name tags.
But you held back on it until the second time.
That was good timing on that.
If you floated up here when I was up here earlier
asking to see him, I would have stom timing on that. If you floated up here when I was up here earlier asking to see him,
I would have stomped on it.
Jeff, who are you playing for?
I'm playing for Full Metal Jason.
He made a Full Metal jacket poster.
It's nice.
Doug Benson's Full Metal Jason,
starring Jeff Tate, Emma Arnold, and Ken Jennings.
I don't know how he got that.
Whoa, nailed it on the guessing on who the guests would be.
I can guess, though.
I met this fella last night at my show.
He was a very nice guy.
And he threw Andy Kindler on there, too,
who was in town last night doing a show,
but he's not here today.
He's not here today.
Portland.
What about you, Ken?
Who are you playing for?
Whoa.
I have this amazing homemade replica Star-Lord mask
for Guardians of the Galaxy Volume Tim.
I guess I'm...
I was a little let down by the name.
Right, so you were excited by the mask,
and then the name was like...
But I do have a mask up here I can wear, so that's...
Volume Tim.
Whoa, that's going to intimidate your opponents.
That's great.
That's great.
I'm just going to wear this the whole game. I can't see a thing, by the way.
Will it get hot in there?
Probably.
You would have the weirdest face and eyes if your eyes lined up with those eye holes.
Oh my god, forehead eyes is coming. Everybody duck.
It smells like Tim in here. Oh my god, forehead eyes is coming. Everybody duck.
It smells like Tim in here.
It's me, Star-Lord.
Oh, you've seen the movie.
That's a reference to the events of the movie.
Yeah.
Right?
I'm just excited now that there's going to be more Guardians because I thought Guardians was sort of like
for me it was sort of the new Star Wars
but now Star Wars is back too
so we're going to get more of both of those
yeah I'm excited
did we cover everybody's name tags?
I think we did
so let's start playing some games
we're going to start with everybody's favorite
Doug Loves Musicals.
I'm just gonna read some songs that are in a movie musical,
and as soon as you can figure out what it is,
you can guess as much as you want.
Only the people on the stage, of course.
We can just yell it out.
You can just say it into your microphone,
but yeah, you could blurt it.
But yeah, you can just answer as often as you like.
So you can like, do you want to pre-guess?
It's going to be a musical.
Does anybody just want to yell out the name of a musical?
It usually happens.
Riddler on the Roof.
Yeah, nope.
CB4.
Nope.
What movie musical has these songs in it?
Temptation is a song in this musical.
Beautiful Girl.
Singing in the Rain? That is
correct. Ken Jennings.
Jennings.
You want to put that down?
Yeah, very fast. You were meant for me.
Good morning.
Would you?
All I do is dream of you.
Fit as a fiddle and ready for love.
You are my lonely, lucky star.
Not my, you are my lonely star.
You're a person I would like to go far, far away.
So I can, Moses supposes.
Ringing any bells, Jeff?
Singing in the Rain.
Yep.
That's the last song I was going to say,
and then it would just be,
it would just turn into the game of who could say Singing in the Rain quickest.
But that didn't happen.
But yeah, I had to do that movie
because we're in Seattle.
That movie takes place in Seattle.
Grunge era musical.
I just drove by, sunset in Camden!
All right.
Only when the most expert players are on the stage
can we play this game.
Let's do a round of Build a Title.
Kian gets to go first, then we'll go to Emma, then to Jeff, and all you gotta do, Ken, is just add a title. In honor of the Seattle Seahawks, playing tomorrow, good luck you guys.
I wanna start with Black Hawk Down.
I want to start with Black Hawk Down I just had to pick a hawk movie
because there's no seahawk movies
I don't think
The Birds
That would be tough for a builder title
but we're going to start with Black Hawk Down
so you just need a movie that ends in black or begins with down
Black Hawk Down with Love you just need a movie that ends in black or begins with down. Black Hawk Down with love.
Yeah. That totally works.
So now
Emma needs something that ends with
black or begins with love.
Black Hawk
Wait, what was it? Say it again? Sorry.
Black Hawk Down with love, actually.
Oh.
That has been a stopper in the
past.
But there is a way to get around it.
Settle down, Jeff.
I haven't even written down with love yet.
W slash love.
Karma.
Actually.
Okay, go, Jeff.
Blackhawk down with love actually leaving Las Vegas. Actually, go Jeff. Black Hawk Down With Love Actually Leaving Las Vegas.
Actual Leaving Las Vegas.
Actual Leaving Las Vegas.
That is crazy.
Ken ends in black begins with Vegas
let's do men in black
yeah there you go
actual leaving Las Vegas
Emma you need something
that ends with men or begins with Vegas
and I would totally see this movie that we have so far.
Minute Men?
Minute?
Leaving Las Vegas?
Sorry, I forgot the middle of that.
There's a movie called Minute Men?
Minute Men, Black Hawk Down.
But what's this Minuteemen movie you speak of?
Oh, so yeah, it's pretty good.
It's about some superheroes
who don't have all their powers figured out yet.
Isn't that Mystery Men?
Yep, that is.
That's what I meant.
Mystery Men. I really thought you were just like,
oh, I'll just make up a movie
that sounds like Minutemen.
Nope.
Mystery.
Man.
Yeah, that's what I meant.
Sorry.
It's a very short porn parody.
Version. Yeah, that's what I meant. Sorry. It's a very short porn parody version.
It's got Hank Azaria just forking people.
Deep cut from the movie.
Spoons, I know, whatever.
Fuck off. Alloons, I know. Whatever. Fuck off.
Alright, Jeff.
So, uh, Emma's out, and she
left you a great
clue.
Hey, you know what? Let's back
up a second. I fucked up.
Not really.
We're good.
Jeff,
for a second there, I thought we were playing Last Man's Ten, and I was going to, for a second there,
I thought we were playing
Last Man Standing.
I was going to give her a lifeline,
but we'll save those
for the next game.
I would have figured it out myself.
Ken blurted.
He took over my turn.
That's what you got to do.
You got to blurt,
and look what worked.
Yeah, yeah.
I saw...
You did that on Jeopardy a lot too, right?
Just blurt.
Yeah.
When someone was stumbling over an answer, you were just, I know it. It's Kazakhstan, I saw. You did that on Jeopardy a lot too, right? Just blurt. Yeah. When someone was stumbling over an answer,
you were just, I know it.
It's Kazakhstan, you idiot.
It's fucking mystery, man.
Ken, we need you to buzz in before you answer.
Alex is like, if you...
Please buzz in, Ken.
You don't blurt, you hurt.
You know, that's the Jeopardy way.
All right, Jeff, so do you want to take what...
Do you want to use that information that she just gave you for your answer,
or do you have something else in mind to add to this title?
I would just say...
Oh, never mind.
The one I was thinking goes on to the beginning of Mystery Men.
Oh, well, that's...
Might as well head in that direction right
mystery men in black
snake moan
Mona Lisa smile
moan with love
arterially
Las Vegas
I'll be seeing you
is that the name of the movie
huh
no I'm taking Mystery Men.
We're moving on to Ken now.
Yep.
Ends with mystery, starts with Vegas, right?
Hmm?
Yeah, ends in mystery, starts with Vegas.
Manhattan murder mystery men in Black Hawk Down
with love, actual leaving Las Vegas.
Oh.
Black Hawk Down with Love, Actual Leaving Las Vegas.
Oh.
That.
Jeff is not happy about that.
What do you got, Jeff?
Manhattan. Manhattan, Murder,
Mystery, Men in Blackhawk down with
love actual leaving
Las Vegas vacation.
Of course.
Yes.
Thank goodness
they dropped the National Lampoon by that
time.
So begins with
Vacation, Ken, or ends with
Manhattan.
And you can't
just say Manhattan just because there was another
movie called Manhattan.
A little
big man.
Yes. Very good. A little big man Yes Mystery man
Very good
Down with love
Actually leaving Las Vegas vacation
So Jeff you got to end in little
Or begin with vacation
Vacation the land of women
Okay I see what you did.
And I don't care for it.
You don't care for it?
All right, Stuart Little.
Okay.
Are you all right with that, Ken?
It's tough.
So it's Stuart and vacation now.
Stuart Little or vacation.
Or vacation.
Vacation. Yeah, but not vacation.
Yeah, but not vacation.
What if it's
Gremlins 2
Earth Little?
Big men, hat and murder mystery, men in black
hogs with blood actually in Las Vegas
vacation.
Hang on.
you... Hang on.
I don't think he's buying it, you guys.
No, no, the problem with that
is it's Gremlins 2, the new batch.
So...
What you need to do, though,
is pick a sequel where the first word is plural
and the second word is 2
and it doesn't have one of those subtitles.
You're going to give me another chance.
I'm giving you another chance
because Jeff kind of slid by on that last thing.
Oh, that's funny.
To think of something.
Really?
Huh?
Interesting.
Oh, second chances, huh?
Fine.
Because I would have said Made in Manhattan,
which would have been a great poll.
That would have been good.
Well, J-Lo.
There's always room for J-Lo.
They say that on a radio show I listen to in L.A.
called Kevin and Bean.
Where are we at? What's happening? What if it was Cars 2? Cars 2, yes.
Earth Little, Big Man, Hat and Murder, Mystery Men, and Black Hawk. Cars 2 Earth Little.
I love it. Jeff, you need something that ends in cars. Used cars. Used cars. So now Ken ends with used.
Begins with shun.
It could happen to used cars.
Stuart Little, Big Van,
Hatton, Burger Mystery, Men in Black,
Hawk Down, Rick Love,
Axl, and Eve,
Las Vegas Vacation.
All right, Jeff,
you need ends in it
or begins with vacation.
Vacation.
Sean.
Sean.
Vacation.
No.
I've refused Sean of the Dead before.
It could happen to you.
Used cars.
Do it, little.
That's good.
Big Manhattan murder mystery.
Men in Black Hawk Down with love.
I heard that the Amy Adams lady moved from Sacramento to the Seattle area.
And I was like, say it isn't so.
But also, wasn't that made for TV
it sure was
that's why I'm not mad
so that lady
so that lady's dumb twice
do you have another one though
that Jeff that ends in it?
Is there any way I could split up vacation?
How does the end of vacation sound?
Can I do a vacation American werewolf in Paris?
What? Vacation American werewolf in Paris? What?
Vacation American Werewolf in Paris.
An?
Yeah.
Vacation and?
Well, no, I don't say an American Werewolf in Paris.
Vacation Annie Hall?
No, no.
If I say the title of the American Werewolf movie,
I say an American Werewolf in Paris.
You say un-American.
Yeah, vacation.
You think he's un-American just because he's a werewolf? No, because he's in Paris. Yeah, no. I think he's un-American just because he's a werewolf?
No, because he's in Paris.
Yeah, no, I think he's un-American because he's in Paris.
Did Ken beat me to the joke?
He's got to blurt.
He's got to blurt it in there.
Yeah, no, I understand your strategy here, sir.
Maybe you won 78 games in a row
because you just badgered the other contestants into losing.
Yeah.
Maybe you won 78 games in a row because you just badgered the other contestants into losing.
How many times on Jeopardy did you yell out,
Asked and answered!
Hostile witness!
I could be a lawyer.
Your Honor, I strenuously object.
I'm just the host.
Do you have something else you want to try?
The long
kiss good knit.
Nope, I think I'm out.
I think I'm out.
Alright, so Ken Jennings is our winner.
It could happen to used car
Stewart, Little Big Man
had murder mystery men
and Black Hawk Down with Love
actually leaving Las Vegas
vacation
what would you do with Shun?
Shaun of the Dead, Schindler's List
they're just a little off
what's like Shun Forgiven?
Shun is a weird one.
What?
I think people are just yelling things that they want to yell.
That they've been holding back this entire time.
They're like, this is a good yelling opportunity.
True grit, though, is the correct answer.
True Grit.
True Grit could happen to you.
Short Circuit could happen to you.
I'd take that.
No, I get it.
Right?
There are two movies.
We were more worried about the other side, the vacation part.
If I had thought of two of the movies that have been made in the last 140 years,
I would have been able to continue this game.
Men of the Minute?
Minute Men?
Men of the Minute?
Minute Men?
All right, so Ken won that game,
but Emma's right back in the action now
after being mistreated.
Mistreated?
Yeah.
But here's where Emma, just going into it,
I'm going to tell you that if you can't think of an answer
in Last Man Stanton,
your lifeline is the person whose name tag you picked.
Okay.
And you can go to that person.
I'd prefer if they didn't get on their devices and get answers, but, you know, I can't really stop you from doing that.
That's just up to your own moral code.
Yeah, yeah, try to play with the honor that we play with.
The integrity some of us have.
I learned my moral code from great superhero movies like
Minutemen.
Among others.
So yeah, we have a
lifeline version of last minute
Stanton.
And
so, oh, I picked out a person
on Twitter. Lots of people on Twitter today.
Thank you very much for all of your, you know, begging.
But everybody, lots of people said they had a great Last Man Stanton name,
but I picked one of the first ones I saw, if not the first one.
Is Asmirelda here?
Right up front.
Yeah, there you go.
I figured you were a big fan and that you'd probably be close to the stage.
And I was right.
So she's going to suggest an actor or actress
or maybe an inanimate object,
and we're going to take turns naming the movies
that that performer has been in,
and I will participate as well in this one
because I like to.
What's your
real name, Azmirelda?
Alex.
And you're from the area here?
From Puyallup?
I'm sorry?
No, I was just apologizing
if you're from Puyallup.
I, um... Bam!
Ever
it's the Puyallup of the North,
so it's sort of true.
You guys know it's true.
Thank you.
I was at the Cinerama today.
I was sitting next to some hillbillies
that I know are from Puyallup because
after they were done with the popcorn,
one of the little girls just slowly and methodically
and quietly right in my ear just kept tearing.
I can't even make the noise into a microphone.
She just kept tearing the bag,
and I'd turn around and look like, really?
And she'd be like, I'm a little kid.
Wasn't even an adult.
The guy sitting next to her, I don't think he even knew her.
I think he was just nervously waiting
for an Amber Alert to go off.
I think in that scenario,
all three of you had good points.
Okay, Alex, so what's your suggestion?
Alan Rickman. That's
a fantastic idea.
Let's celebrate
the man through his many films.
Kind of a... It's going to
be an interesting one.
We may have even played him before in the past.
I don't recall. Somebody says, nope.
Good thing Rain Man
is here.
Definitely no.
Definitely no.
Okay.
All right.
So Ken gets to start us off,
and then we'll go to me and Jeff and Emma.
Just name any of the great Alec Rickman's movies,
some of which we've already mentioned.
By Graptar's Hammer,
I'm going to say Galaxy Quest.
Okay.
Crowd favorite.
Emma Roberts.
Emma Roberts.
Emma Roberts. Jeff likes Emma Roberts,
don't you, Jeff?
Yes.
What's not to like?
There's nothing not to like about Emma Roberts except
possibly her personality. I have not met her.
I'm going to go Harry
Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.
Oh, that's really...
This is going to be interesting. Are we going
in order?
That's the one thing I've never been
great at is remembering the titles.
Make something up.
The Wand of Destiny.
I can't make something up. I'll call myself
on it.
Wait, did we go the wrong way?
We did, so we gotta
commit to it. Jeff?
Die Hard.
Yeah, of course.
Just say the ones we already
said earlier.
I'll toss on
a love actually.
Short term memory game we call
Last Man Rickman.
Alright, Ken.
What one are you going to do?
Ken? We're not doing you
didn't I just say love actually
oh love actually
I'm gonna say
I think I did
I'm just thinking about
maybe I just wrote it down and thought about it
I'm thinking about love actually all the time
I was actually making a sign that I want to show you.
I'm in love with you.
But you're my best friend, my black best friend.
He's showing a series of signs to me right now.
Series of love messages on cue cards.
I'm a regular Bob Dylan.
All right, so...
Regular Bob Robbins.
Which one are you gonna go with?
I'll go back to the Harry Potter
well, I guess. Sure.
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.
Oh, is that the one where he finally
has sex with somebody?
What?
Let me into your chamber
yeah he gets
fucked by a bear
Emma Arnold not Roberts go
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
I think that's my favorite one
yeah
I like that one.
Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves.
Okay.
Oh, fucker.
What a great tribute to a great man.
Me, can't think of another one.
Hang on.
It's going to be good when it does happen.
All right.
Let's just see if I can just muscle it out as I say it.
Harry Potter.
muscle it out as I say it. Harry Potter.
It suddenly felt like I was doing a Stefan bit.
It's a nightclub, it's called Harry Potter.
This castle has everything.
Yeah, it's got, it's got Gryffindors, it's got,
Yeah, it's got Gryffindors.
It's got... It's got Hagrid in the corner massaging people's feet.
It's got...
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.
From way downtown.
Let me see.
You have tons of kids.
You can do all these, right?
Let's knock these out.
Harry Potter and Order of the Phoenix.
Which one?
It's just one I made up
where he goes to Phoenix, Arizona.
He's selling himself in the bus station.
He gets tired of magic school
and signs up for Phoenix online.
It's like a real degree, they say.
It becomes a dental hygienist.
What is it?
Order of the Phoenix?
That?
That's right?
Okay.
Sounds legit.
And what did Emma say?
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Half-Blood Prince, okay
What do you got, Jeff?
Bottle Shock
Oh
Damn you
Deep cut
He's like a sommelier or something
It's about wine
It's about wine.
It's a real movie for sure.
Harry Potter and the shit ton of horcruxes.
Part one.
Alright, I'm out. Ken?
Oh, man.
I think there's still two more. There's not a two more.
Harry Potter and the... Where did we end up?
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
part one.
Good luck, Emma. That's it. That's all there are. End of Half-Life. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, part one.
Good luck, Emma.
That's it.
That's all there are.
That's all.
Snape dies at the middle of the seventh book, so... Spoilers.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, part two.
Part two?
Part two.
Okay.
This is the longest I'll ever be in this game.
It's amazing.
Feels good.
Yeah.
Well, now that we were on the table on Harry Potter,
what's going to happen now?
Jeff?
Quigley down under.
Yo!
Nice pull.
What's his name? Tom Selleck had like a little little piece of facial hair
right here and I like to
say that I like to call that piece of
hair a Quigley down under
Ken there's no Deathly Hallows Part 3
as much as we'd love to see it.
Man, that was just not enough Deathly Hallows for me.
All six hours of the Hallows.
So many.
I just want as many Hallows as I can get.
What's a Hallow?
I like a lively Hallow almost as much as a Deathly one.
Especially at happy hour.
Can you think of any Alan Rickman movies?
I can visualize some movies that he was in,
but I can't think of the titles.
He directed a thing like a couple years ago,
and I can't think of what that was called.
Don't say yet, audience.
Ken Jennings is here.
He is in Sense and Sensibility.
That's right.
And he gets the girl after the hot guy flakes out.
Yeah.
Spoilers.
Spoilers.
I prefer Sense and Sensibility and zombies.
Well, I'm, of course, going to make a stoner version
of that
Jane Austen classic.
Mine's going to be called Sense and Sensimedia.
Emma?
Can I use my lifeline?
Yeah, okay.
Lifeline time. Where is the person
you're playing for? That guy over there
waving his hands.
He's got one.
Dogma. Good job. I was also thinking that, so.
Just worked out. You guys, you guys have a mental connection. Yep.
I wouldn't hang out with him though. I though. I hear he drones on and on.
Aw, Jeff.
Die hard with a vengeance.
He's in it.
What, like a flashback?
Yeah.
When they bring Sam Jackson
and Bruce Willis into the van
and they tell him that Simon is Simon Peter Gruber,
Hans Gruber's brother.
Spoiler.
Landed it.
Yep.
He kills Jeremy Irons with one bullet left
and a power line and a helicopter.
Fuck your spoilers.
and a power line, and a helicopter.
Fuck your spoilers.
I'll spoil the shit out of every movie from 1995.
All right, so who's up next?
Ken, are you still in this?
I'm... Yeah, and don't forget you have a lifeline.
He's the voice of the robot in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. still in this? I'm... Yeah. And don't forget you have a lifeline. He...
He's the voice of the
robot in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
Okay.
Mr. Tate.
No, I'm not out.
Oh my... You said I had a lifeline.
Miss Arnold.
You said I had a lifeline.
Miss Arnold.
I was hasty.
Go on. Go on.
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy 2 where have all the dolphins gone?
The new batch.
The new batch.
She's like you skipped me.
If you'd have kept quiet
you'd still be in the game.
I thought one would come to me in that pause.
All right, so Emma's out, but you'll be back.
I think we have time for another game.
Do we have time for another game?
Okay.
I'm going to need my lifeline.
Okay.
Where's your lifeline at?
Where's Full Metal Jason?
There he is.
Oh, you got nothing?
You don't have a phone on you?
No, that's good. You're not cheating.
Oh, great. I get the one guy that won't cheat.
This is the way Alan would have wanted it.
Yeah.
You can't, so you got nothing?
Something the Lord made from the stupid girl.
Well, I don't know what all those words were, but...
Don't stop it.
Whatever just happened, don't do that anymore.
It's the same girl that yelled out Stephen King's It?
Yeah.
Why are you so anxious to yell out, young lady?
Are you going through some tough times? It feels good? Yeah. Why are you so anxious to yell out, young lady? Are you going through some tough times?
It feels good?
Yeah.
Okay.
Are you trying to keep her on the line?
Like keep her talking.
Keep her talking, she won't kill herself.
Did it ever occur to you
that there are 700 other people not doing that?
Like did that, do you think everyone else is wrong?
I'm out.
I don't want her fucking answer.
She's right.
I'm out.
I didn't understand her answer,
so I can't cheat.
I didn't either.
I would love it if you took a dive.
Wait, what do you mean her answer?
She's not one supposed to help out anyway.
I know.
I didn't understand what she said.
Yeah, we don't know what she said.
We don't want to know.
I'm out of Ballad of Rickman movies.
Die Hard with a Vengeance was my ace in the hole.
Yeah.
It was a good poll.
And sometimes your lifeline, you know, Jason, we got through a lot of movies.
It's tough.
Can you think of another one, Ken?
Is it Michael Collins?
The movie he just directed is called A Little Chaos or something like that?
Yeah, A Little Chaos.
And he's in Michael Collins.
Is that that?
Michael Collins?
Is that Julia Roberts?
Emma's sister, Jeff?
Aunt.
Oh, yeah.
It's her aunt.
Emma Roberts is...
Can you imagine if Julia Roberts was your fucking aunt?
No wonder Emma Roberts is so cool.
She's like, Julia Roberts is my aunt, is what you'd say.
That's almost as good as I landed on the moon.
Doesn't that mean Eric Roberts is her dad?
Oh, I guess so.
Is he?
I think so, yeah.
I like that guy.
He was good in Dark Knight
when they dropped him off a building
and his leg broke.
And that Runaway Train movie
he was in with Jon Voight.
Yeah, Runaway Train,
never coming back.
Remember when he sings that?
Soul Asylum?
What is Soul Asylum?
Let's play Reverse Malton, you guys, real quick.
We will use that to decide this thing,
and somebody's going to get all the prizes.
Ken won that one again?
Yes. It's rigged. Ken won that one again?
Yes.
It's rigged.
You're like a train that Denzel Washington is...
Like he's just
at home and they're like, hey, come help us.
And he's like, why?
And they're like, well,
we got this train and
it's just like Ken Jennings.
It's unstoppable.
All right, I'm going to give you three choices, Ken,
and you get to pick a movie,
and just pick the one that you think you know the most actors or actresses from,
and then I'll tell you how many are in that movie,
and then we start the bidding.
But this time, let's really reverse the order
and we'll go to Jeff second.
Would you like
to tell us
This is like build a title.
Do Monuments
Men in Black
Dynamite. So Monuments Men in Black Dynamite
so Monuments Men
Men in Black
or Black Dynamite
which one of those films
do you think you know the most actors
or do you think you know the most to play
defensively against
the other two players
wow
that is sort of rough
so bluffing is probably off the table Wow. That is sort of rough.
So bluffing's probably off the table.
It's a rough choice because of how equally well I know the cast. You know all of these casts so well that you could just...
Such a hard decision, you know, which way do I want to win, you know?
Mm-hmm. Such a hard decision, you know, which way do I want to win, you know?
What if we go...
Monuments Men's about the group of superheroes who haven't quite...
That's Minutes Men. Minutes Men.
They're pretty similar.
Men in Black?
That's the one you want?
Yeah, I sounded so sure. Men in Black.
Men in Black? Okay.
That'll work. Let's try Men in Black. Yeah, Men in Black. Okay, that'll work. Let's try Men in Black.
Let's see what happens.
Leonard lists five, seven names.
So how many of those names do you think you can name?
Only seven.
Yeah, he only lists seven.
Come on, Leonard. Jesus, I thought he only lists seven.
Jesus, I thought he just bid seven.
Okay, seven.
Four?
He says he can name four people, Jeff.
Five.
I'm going to do five.
Emma, do you want me to skip you?
No Doug I like to say name it
Okay so Jeff has to name
five out of seven
that are chosen by Leonard
to represent the movie Men in Black
Go
Tommy Lee Jones
Will Smith,
Tell the truth!
Vincent D'Onofrio,
Tony Shalhoub, and
Laura Flynn Boyle.
Okay!
Poor, poor Jeff.
Oh, no.
Poor little man Tate.
Who wasn't listed?
Laura Flynn Boyle, I believe, shows up in part two
as like the alien bad guy lady.
It's Linda Fiorentino is the female character.
And Rip Torn, Tony Shalhoub, Siobhan Fallon.
So, yeah, so that means that Emma's on the board.
She's got a point.
Thank you.
It also means that Ken gets to pick again,
and then it's going to go straight at you, Emma.
Ken, would you like a clockwork orange
the grapes of wrath
or
Herbie goes bananas
fan favorites
you guys excited for some
grapes of wrath some Steinbeck abs up in here Wow. You guys excited for some Grapes of Wrath,
some Steinbeck action up in here?
Do you guys love the Dust Bowl?
Yeah, let's do Grapes of Wrath.
All right, from 1940.
Do you guys love the films of 1940?
Should we spoil the ending of Grapes of Wrath?
Yeah, they're all dead.
It was 90 years ago.
17 names.
Jesus Christ.
Jesus.
What?
What?
17 names, and how many of those do you think you can name Ken Jennings?
Three.
He says three names, Emma.
Yeah, you should name it.
I'm going to be so happy if you can't name three names.
Me too.
Emma's going to take this whole thing down
after an afternoon of dominance.
This is game point for her, right?
This is going to win it for her
if you can't name three people from 1940.
Grapes of Wrath.
Well, I love the films of John Ford,
American Master,
Henry Fonda,
Jane Darwell,
John Carradine.
Top three Bill names right there.
They're actually written on the inside
of the Star-Lord helmet.
I don't know how he knew, but...
All right.
So Jeff's the only one that's not on the board,
but he gets to pick this next one.
Jeff, would you like...
Fletch?
Jeff, would you like Fletch?
Fletch Lives?
Or Foul Play?
I think somebody picked Foul Play on the show recently,
so I hope you don't pick that.
I don't think I'm going to pick that one.
I shouldn't even have included that. Let me give you a different one. I don't think I'm going to pick that one.
I shouldn't even include that.
Let me give you a different one.
It's okay. I'm going to pick Fletch.
Don't burn a third choice. I'm going to pick Fletch.
Okay.
Fletch from 1985.
Lettered lists.
Looks like ten names.
How many can you get it in?
Or how many can you name, I should say?
Figure out your own shit, Doug.
Alex Trebek should talk to himself more during this show.
This Jennings is getting on my nerves.
Did I say that aloud?
My Alex Trebek is just an impression of Will Ferrell's Alex Trebek.
The category.
What's happening?
Jeff is thinking.
I can name six.
Whoa.
Son of a...
That's solid.
Yeah, that is...
We're going to have a three-way tie here, I think,
if he can pull it off,
because we know what Emma's going to say.
It's all about strategy.
We're teaching your kids that listen to important lessons
and how you can persevere and win without knowing anything.
That's true.
That's true. That's true.
Sometimes it's about the long game.
It's about hanging in there.
Yeah.
You don't have to win if you can make other people lose.
That's all it.
That's what we need to teach our children.
That's a great lesson.
Make everyone else lose.
Yeah.
Okay, name it.
Okay.
Six names?
Yeah, six names.
Okay.
Are you icing the kicker right now?
Chevy Chase.
Shit.
You better do this.
Chevy Chase.
Tim Matheson. You better do this. Chevy Chase, Tim Matheson,
George Wendt,
Joe Don Baker,
Gina Davis,
uh, fuck.
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.
No, I just lost track of who I've said.
That's all that happened.
Dana Wheeler Nicholson.
William Sanderson.
Wait, how many?
Seven?
You're going too far.
And that last one you said is the only one not listed.
You did it.
Whoa!
Richard Libertini was in this film and also just passed away recently,
but he's a very hilarious actor
who was great in The In-Laws
with Alan Arkin and Peter Falk,
and then he was in All of Me
with Steve Martin and Lily Tomlin,
and he kept saying,
Beck and Bowl, Beck and Bowl,
over and over again,
and it was hilarious in context.
Hilarious in context.
Beck and Bowl.
Hilarious in context
should be the name of your next album.
Yes.
Like, that's a good name for us.
Alright, we got a tiebreaker situation
you guys. It's a three-way tie.
I'm excited about this one.
For the tiebreaker, I just pick a movie
in advance and it's just sitting
there waiting to be said out
loud by me at this point in the show
and
who challenged, Emma challenged
who on that last one? Jeff?
Alright, so we start with Ken and then
we're back to the
unstoppable Emma
Do you want to just do the one where
we say it as fast as you say it?
Instead?
Just checking Just checking.
Just checking.
Throwing it out there.
Just for fun, let's really
quick, we'll do a...
With
this title, we'll see who can say it
the fastest after I say it.
Okay.
We just have to say the name of the movie
that you're going to say.
Yeah, just repeat it back.
The fastest.
But Ken, you're not supposed to look at Doug
when he does it.
You can look at me.
No.
I need to see you guys
because I can see who answered the fastest.
All right, here.
The movie that we're going to play
for the final round
is a film called
Wet Hot American Summer. Wet Hot a film called Wet Hot American Summer.
Wet Hot American Summer! Wet Hot American Summer!
Yes, Ken won that as well. He's unstoppable.
Red Hot American Graffiti.
Jeff, Ken is unstoppable. He's a man on fire.
He's what other Tony Scott, Denzel Washington collaborations?
Taking of Pelham.
Yeah, he's taking Pelham.
I feel like we've done this before.
I have a real feeling of deja vu.
Yeah.
Hey, it was good.
I only have five to choose from.
Tony Scott, Denzel movies.
Right, right.
Crimson Tide.
Crimson Tide.
All right, here we go.
We're going to do Wet Hot American Summer,
and it's going to start with Ken and Leonard Maltin
for that great comedy motion picture listed 12 names.
And how many of those do you think you can name, Ken?
Man.
Say 12.
It's a gimme for stand-up.
I'm a 12.
Go with, be glorious, say 12.
You could win this the easy way, or you could win it the hard way.
Five.
Ken Jennings story.
Five. Okay. Five. Ken Jennings story.
Five.
Okay.
Okay.
Are you going to say a number?
Oh.
Yeah.
Instead of the number, name it?
Yeah, maybe.
I don't know.
Hold on.
How many did you say?
Ken said five.
He thought that was enough to scare Emma off, but she's thinking about it.
Yeah, I'm thinking about it.
I think you could do more than five.
I think I could.
You guys are comedians.
I'm going to say six.
Look at that.
She says six.
But I think I know where this is headed.
I think Jeff loves to show off.
And he's going to name a higher number.
Look at him thinking about it.
Shit.
Yeah, all right, seven.
He said seven names, Ken, out of 12.
I'm just over here tidying up.
Could I get a few of those water bottles?
Yeah.
How many do you want, eight?
Oh, thank you.
Are you having trouble remembering the number eight?
I don't know if I can get to eight, man.
Are you Ken Jennings or are you Can't Jennings? Like, after watching you do that Fletch thing,
I do not want to hand this over, man.
Dude, I know every single person in red hot American graffiti.
I think you've totally got this, Ken.
I think you should totally say eight.
I'm really in your corner.
I might say nine.
Who knows?
You could probably just test it out.
You got it.
I don't think I have eight.
No, you do.
I think you're going to have to name it, Jeff.
Seven?
All right, Jeff.
Seven names for wet, hot, American, summer.
You can do it.
Don't help him, audience.
Here we go.
Just start naming them off.
Janine Garofalo, David Hyde Pierce,
Paul Rudd, Amy Poehler,
Christopher Maloney,
Bradley Cooper,
and Molly Shannon.
This is going to knock your dick in the dirt because out of those 12 names,
and I want confirmation from Mr. Ken Jennings,
he does not say Amy Poehler.
It does not say...
No Amy Poehler.
I can't believe it, Jeff.
I can't believe that Emma is our winner!
Is it?
You see, you see, kids?
Wait, she challenged him, right?
No!
No, Ken's our winner.
Emma, I need the tiara.
Oh my god, Miss Columbia.
The card said... I'm telling you, man, these cards...
You look so happy.
It's hard to host a show y'all
It's not easy
Zach Orth
Should I have said Zach Orth?
To put on a suit
Is Sam Levine on that list?
And read from a card
What?
Is Sam Levine on that list?
No but yeah you're right
He's on the loudspeaker
A.D. Miles
A.D. Miles
Ken Marino Ken Marino.
Ken Marino.
Joe Latrullio.
Marguerite Moreau.
No Jolo, though, because that movie had 30 people in it,
and he only listed 12.
That's tough.
Yeah, yeah.
He doesn't even have Bradley Cooper on here.
Wait, really?
Yeah.
Ken, did you have anything to do with that?
Did you go in and edit that at all?
I think we should all go to Leonard Mullen's house
and kill that monster.
Michael Ian Black?
David Wayne?
It does have Michael Ian Black.
Any of those dudes?
I don't want to win like this.
I feel terrible.
I guess I'm Kent Jennings.
I think it's a great way to win.
And where's the person with that,
where's Tim with the helmet?
Come grab your prizes.
Congratulations.
Nice job, Tim.
Such a roller coaster this episode.
That was crazy.
Jeff, hand me your poster
and tell me your plugs.
Tell everybody your plugs.
Tonight, tomorrow at the Underground,
tonight is for you guys,
tomorrow is for the listeners,
and also you.
Albuquerque next Thursday at Guild Cinema.
Thanks.
The 21st of January.
Bisbee, Arizona, February 6th,
the day before the Super Bowl.
Then I got Ann Arbor.
There's a Minnesota date.
Where the fuck else are we going?
You might pop up on...
We got a bunch of stuff.
Justanotherclown.com is my website with all the dates.
And JeffTate96 on Twitter.
Yeah, and you might pop up on one of my...
Some of my shows coming up later in the month, too.
So put Jeff's face on your name tags, everybody.
Increase your chances.
Everybody wants you to fly it, can you?
I don't know if the owner wants you to fly it.
I was married to a helicopter pilot.
It seems dangerous.
But Emma's plugs are the same as Jeff's,
except look for her as Emma Arnold on Twitter.
Nope.
No?
Emma Roberts.
That's not true.
It's Iamaroadtrip on Twitter.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
And she's going to try to make a drone fly around the room
while Ken Jennings tells us what he's got to plug.
Do you have any plugs, Ken?
I'm Ken Jennings on Twitter,
but I don't feel good about winning here.
You should follow Jeff and Emma instead.
In fact, if you follow me,
please unfollow me and follow them.
All right, let's have an unfollow Ken Jennings.
Everybody get out your phones.
I put a button within the sound of my voice.
Just unfollow that guy, because he...
You're going to miss a lot of hilarity,
but it'll make me feel better. You're going to miss a lot of hilarity But it'll make me feel better
You're going to miss a lot of hilarity
Well this one is going to be hard
For me to read out loud
I'll tell you that right now
We've got an envelope for this one
They're trying to figure out the drone
Is this what Congress is always talking about?
How difficult it is to fly these things?
Alright here we go.
It's drone time.
It's drone time.
Down?
Oh!
Wow.
That drone is crazy.
That drone just wanted to get up and out of here like the Wonka Vader.
Oh my god
That's like that YouTube video of those people
That save that bird and then let it go
And it flies right into a window
It still works
It's like yay
Oh this is not good
This is not
No way This is not... Ow! Oh! No way.
This is so bad.
Oh, what did the balcony ever do to you?
I should have advertised,
come on down, one free drone to a lucky audience member.
You just got to get hit with it.
I'm so sweaty.
That was so terrifying.
Uh-oh.
It looks like it's coming back.
No.
Oh, shit.
She's going to throw it.
Just hang on to it.
That sounds like you should set it down,
and then she'll start it up again.
Okay, make it go up again.
Are you clear? Is it good? Okay. make it go up again. Are you clear? Is it good?
Do it.
Now get it back to the stage.
Oh.
Oh, this thing is out of control.
Here you go. You got it, you got it, you got it.
You got it, you got it, you got it.
It went right out the exit.
It left the building safely.
It almost hit Neptune,
who's trying to have his nightly diarrhea bath.
Thanks for coming to the last Douglas movies ever at the Neptune Theater.
It was great while it lasted. Thank you to the Neptune Theater. Thank you to all of my guests.
Jeff Tate, Emma Arnold, and Ken Jennings. Ken Do Jennings, we all like to call him.
I'm coming to Fort Lauderdale in February.
You can't stop me.
Douglovesmovies.com
For this episode, I think it'd be fun
if everybody uses, if you're telling your friends
about this episode, use the hashtag
fuck your spoilers.
I think that's a good hashtag.
And as always,
people that don't listen to...
All right, hey, I'm wrapping it up right now.
What are you, T.J. Miller?
People that don't listen to the Migs cast are a shithead.
I assume that means that Steve from the BJ Shea
has a podcast called the Migs cast.
I'd listen to that.
And I'm going to
say what you crossed out first.
Because this guy changed his mind on his
shithead.
And I want to be clear that it's not
Jason. It's the guy with the drone
named Victor.
Originally wrote
cunts with baby on board
signs on their car
are a shithead.
And then I think he cooler heads prevailed
briefly,
and then he wrote something
that you guys are going to hate.
Like, you like that,
but you're not gonna like this.
So I'm gonna say it and run.
And also the drone is up here,
so whoever it belongs to, you can come get it.
And you can have some of these cookies too if you want.
Run!
Throw the donut! Throw the cookies! Throw the cookies! This is gonna hurt Nice catches on both parts
I'm gonna keep the joints though
Nice catches on both parts.
I'm going to keep the joints, though.
Seahawks fans are a shithead.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you because Doug loves movies.