Doug Loves Movies - Kristian Harloff, Mark Ellis, and Samm Levine Guest
Episode Date: April 21, 2011Back at Never Not Funny Studios, Doug welcomes "Schmoes Know..." co-hosts Kristian Harloff and Mark Ellis to the show, along with actor/Len Maltin game-master Samm Levine. See Privacy Policy... at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds with 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth.
There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies!
Hey everybody, my name is Doug and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies coming to you this week from the Never Not funny studios in the valley of los angeles it's monday
april 18th to oceans 11 and i had a great time in pensacola florida and new orleans louisiana
yeah that new orleans uh thank you to everyone at phineas foggs and howlin wolf and everyone who
came out to those shows i'm trying to perform as many shows
this year as possible in as many cities as possible and getting to meet all the nice people
who listen to this shit is pretty cool i got shows coming up at asbury hall in buffalo new
york april 28th comedy bar in toronto on may 1st wise guys in west West Valley City, Utah. That's like Salt Lake City.
On May 4th, Knitting Factory in Boise, May 6th.
The Wilma Theater in Missoula, Montana on May 7th.
And I'm doing, I know, it was a great John Goodman impression.
And I'm doing a 420.
It was a really great Mark Addy.
I'm going to talk about House of Thrones later,
which is the Tyler Perry version of House of Thorns.
Game of Thrones.
Game of Thrones.
Okay, I knew you'd have to say something.
You couldn't wait until I did all this stuff,
because I always say something ridiculous that needs to be corrected.
I'm doing a 4.20 in the afternoon stand-up show on May 15th
at Flapper's in Burbank.
Have you been out to Flapper's, Sam?
I have not.
Yeah, it's great.
And that's at 4.20 in the afternoon,
in case I didn't mention that, on May 15th.
And all of my tour dates can be found
at douglovesmovies.com,
and you can find premium road live apps
of Doug Loves Movies and the Benson Interruption,
the podcast in the comedy album
section of itunes all right my guest today tried to remain quiet but had to jump in when i kept
saying house of thorns and game of crowns you're getting so close to the title of the program uh
my guests today are two dudes you might know from their appearances on Adam Carolla podcast and from their own website called Schmo's No, Christian Harloff.
Did I pronounce that right?
You did.
And you got Schmo's No right.
You didn't say Schmo's Nose.
Thank you for that.
Oh, wow.
I can't believe I did not an S to the end.
Do you mostly have black people talking about it?
Because they add S's strangely.
We do review the Tower ofry movies on a regular basis
last week i i was made some sort of joke where i needed the words tyler perry to come out of
my mouth and i couldn't think of his name so he's just like you know that medea guy or whatever and
it was bill burr just looked at me like what and mark ellis thank you i pronounced that one right
also nailed it buddy all right christian harloff and and Mark Ellis. And you know who's got to be, I mean, I've already addressed him by name,
but you know he's got to be on every in-studio ep so that I can play the Leonard Maltin game.
Sam the Ma'am Levine.
Wow, thank you.
That was a unique way of introducing me.
Yeah, have you ever been called the Ma'am?
The Ma'am?
No, I haven't.
But I really hope it takes off.
It fits better with Sam than man. Yeah. Because people always say Sam the Ma'am about'am no i haven't but i hope it i really hope it fits better with sam than man yeah because people always say sam the man about people it's like that rhyme yeah sam
from nam would make a sense i if only i had visited nam maybe be called that so is that your
dirty plan am i only uh on when you're in studio now no you could be you're gonna definitely be
in front of an audience again because you're in
the upcoming tournament of championships
that are going to start at any time now.
There's nine qualifiers plus an alternate.
Dig this. The alternate
is Simon Pegg.
Wow! Yeah, he qualified too late
to get into this round.
Plus also, he doesn't live here.
But he's going to be out here doing Star Trek
2.
In addition to what?
He said he'd be happy to come back on the show again.
Well, that's great.
As an alternate.
But now, if he's on set on Star Trek 2, and then he gets the call from you that he's in
the Tournament of Champions, what takes priority?
He's Scotty.
He can just beam himself over.
Yeah.
He comes.
He does travel fast.
He comes right over.
I hope he doesn't have that little sidekick thing
that he had in the first Star Trek movie.
Paul?
No.
Paul was the lead, and they were the sidekicks.
I guess, since it was called Paul.
I don't know.
All right.
Yeah, I forgot that sidekick.
Anyway, that was the only thing I didn't like
about the first Star Trek,
and I didn't hate that that much.
It was no Jar Jar or anything like that.
It's not that crazy.
So I asked you before the show, one schmo knows the podcast,
the other schmo doesn't know.
Correct.
So that's going to be interesting.
Correct, yeah.
All my answers on this podcast
Are going to be senor
Yes
Yes and no
All hate mail goes to him
But at least we've established
The difference in your voices
And I hope that people can hear
The difference in your
One of you is wearing a hat
And one of you is not wearing a hat
That desperation of needing a hat
Should come out in my voice
But I've seen you many times, Doug
I'm a big fan of yours.
Oh, okay.
I should get some points.
It's all good.
When we play the Leonard Mullen game,
we'll start with me and go in that direction
so he can go third the first time.
That's fair.
And if he doesn't pick up on it by the time we get around to him,
we will chastise him and throw things at him.
I hope it's like Mousetrap, you know,
where everybody has to kind of be a team together before you actually
do the mousetrap and then everybody, then it's a free-for-all.
No, it's every man for himself.
It's you and me and Christian
against Sam
the ma'am.
Sam the ma'am. You're too young to be a
man. A ma'am, excuse me. You're not too young to be
a ma'am. I am. Freudian.
I am too young to be a ma'amian yeah i am too young to be a man
sam the bearded ma'am thank you very much can i say something about you that i probably never
said to you but i used to think especially before i actually knew you in person through
poker and podcasts yeah um i hope you take this as a compliment when you were on freaks and geeks
i thought you were like uh a little little Dana Gould or a littler
Dana Gould.
You have told me that before, for the record.
It's a compliment, right?
And of course I dig that it's a compliment.
Dana's fucking awesome.
Yeah, he's amazing.
He's great.
All right, good.
And he's married to the head of HBO who put up all the money for Cards of Soane.
The ones of Sam.
Son of Sam.
It's like going to the movies with my grandpa.
You were getting warmer for a minute,
and now you're way off course.
All right, well, this is going to be a fun show.
I feel it already.
And I was watching Spider-Man 3 on the elliptical yesterday.
I saw you go on.
Something gives me
excited exercise like watching Tobey Maguire
play Against Himself in Venom.
I love the musical
number. Please go on, Doug.
Oh, yeah. Well,
fortunately, I missed that part. I saw
the part where
I was on the elliptical for about an hour
and nothing had actually
happened yet when I finally stopped watching it.
Of course, I was watching it on regular TV with, it was, what's it called?
What's the show that?
Dinner and a Movie.
Yeah, no, like that, but it's on FX.
Oh, DVD and TV.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Hosted by Dave Holmes.
Our friend Dave Holmes, who's been on this podcast.
Who is awesome.
And Hot Lady.
Hot Lady.
Yeah, Hot Lady. Dave Holmes. Lady stands next to him and goes,
Ha ha ha, you guy.
Plus Hot Lady equals DVD.
Every movie.
Yeah, they had him on a harness yesterday
and he was showing what it's like to fly around like Spider-Man.
But anyway, I was watching it and I thought of this question.
I'll throw it out to everybody.
Do you think Spider-Man 3 is the Godfather 3 of Spider-Man movies?
You could just answer yes or no to that one i you i think by default you have to be because the first one and the second one aren't as bad nearly as bad as the third one so yes except
godfather 3 was better because sofia coppola actually gets shot on no one else you know what sucks about godfather 3 is that if it
were not godfather part 3 that would actually be a reasonably good movie she's so bad though in it
i mean she's look awful i understand it's but there are plenty of great movies where one actor
is not good i think it's refreshing i think it's refreshing that she knows good acting
when she sees it, because
all the acting in her movies is great.
So she knows it when she sees it.
She just can't make her face do it.
That's why she's like, screw this, I'm going to direct
because I can't do that.
Spider-Man 3 is also so big. Why is everyone
crying in that movie? It's very
sad, the things that they're finally realizing
about all that great responsibility.
I just hate it. They wasted
Venom, you know, because you have this really
cool, huge comic book character
and they got a guy that looks like me to play
him and he's, it just
it really, that could have been its own
movie, you know, and instead it was like the last
15 minutes of Spider-Man 3. Well, as soon as they
announced, you know, we got Thomas Hayden Church
for Sandman and we got as they announced, you know, we got Thomas Hayden Church for Sandman
and we got this guy
and, you know, and
Franco's still going to be in it.
As soon as it's like, oh, that sounds great.
When does that ever work?
When the sequel adds a million villains.
See Joel Schumacher.
Yeah, exactly. It always adds
exponential badness to the
picture because they don't concentrate on any particular villain.
They just sort of have these types.
Like, I love Topher Grace and Thomas Hayden Church, but they were some sort of CGI creation during half of their screen time, at least.
But on the same accord, does that make you nervous for Dark Knight Rises?
Because the word keeps coming out.
There's more and more.
I know Tristan Nolan. I know it's a little different
it's the entire cast
of Inception
is going to play
different villains
in this movie
I'm not
it doesn't make me nervous
I trust Nolan at this point
but those two movies
those first two Batmans
have a lot of characters
in them
and he juggles them great
and they're all great performers
doing great performances
I just worry about
this third one
just because it's
nothing is ever
nothing's ever going to be
as great as Heath Ledger
as Joker
in the history of cinema ever again.
He's got way too much to try to accomplish.
Yeah.
You know?
That performance alone drove that movie to the second,
not alone because Batman's a big deal too,
but drove that movie to the second highest grossing movie of all time,
and it couldn't reach Titanic
just because movies don't stay in theaters long enough anymore.
They're too available and not as special as they were when Titanic came out.
People probably had to wait in line to go see Titanic.
Does anybody wait in line for any movies anymore?
Yes.
Like Friday and Saturday night, people line up?
No, you go opening night if it's like a huge ticket movie.
Well, the difference is you already have your tickets when you're waiting.
You have to wait in line after you acquire the tickets easily
online, and then you have to show up nine
hours ahead of time just so you can get a good
seat in the theater. Yeah, well, that's why, that's another
reason why I feel like people don't wait in line anymore
is because I'm always going to the arc light where you pick your seat.
You have to buy them. But I don't even go on Friday
or Saturday. I don't know how much busier it gets on those nights.
Because you're out of town. But they also have everything
on multiple screens, so I really don't,
I mean, I guess sometimes a movie's big enough to have a line outside.
Yeah.
Like, you'll see a little stanchion with a sign, you know, Scream 4, which brings me
to that.
Yeah.
You guys, I didn't see your...
I guess your reviews are all audio and visual, right?
You can...
You're just...
Not in that order, yes.
Yeah.
You have clips on your site.
Yeah, on our website.
Schmoesknow.com.
Yeah, and we're also on YouTube.
But through our website,
we kind of,
we have, you know,
blogs and stuff too,
but primarily our stuff is video.
Yeah, each one is like
about six minutes
and we have clips
from the movie in it too
to kind of give you a break
from having to look at us.
But you sit together and...
Very uncomfortably close together.
And sort of chat about it in a riffing sort of way or in a prepared way to look at us but yeah but you sit together and and uh very uncomfortably close together and and
sort of uh chat about it in in a riffing sort of way or in a prepared way like where you know what
the other guy's gonna say at this point it's it's it's almost scary that we've got like that uh
horrifying yeah we started on current tv like three years ago and we started kind of back and
forth have kind of developed and we know almost like stupid twin brothers um like those twins
from your office no I think that's what
we got fired you probably know he probably finally watched impression it
was really good I was really great I thought you were in some sort of trance
we got fired might become him we wanted to be the two guys went to North Korea
to rescue that reporter we were gonna review North Korea and they're like nah
you guys are the right guy for it so but no so we basically we put the whole
reason we started the show was to get the normal everyday guy just kind of going back and forth,
not doing the snooty critic thing and just, you know.
Yeah, but you still become the snooty critic when you see everything.
When you see everything ahead of time, you do get a little bit.
I'll be talking to my friends.
I'm like, I saw Scream 4 two weeks ago.
But I think the difference is, again, for me,
if you read Owen Gleiberman on Entertainment Weekly,
I feel like he's telling you, like, if you go see a movie
that he doesn't like, you're an idiot.
We're not really ever kind of doing that.
It's like, if you agree with us, what we say,
then if you like our opinions, similar to you,
then you might like what we're talking about. If not,
then a lot of people... I didn't like Scream 4.
A lot of people liked it.
And they will tell me. Name somebody that liked it.
There's a bunch of people that have commented
on our site. Some critic. I think Entertainment
Weekly gave it a B. They gave it a B minus and i was i was surprised i mean it really is
not a good move i like these movie i like these kind of movies and it was just i think if you go
into it expecting like if you can look at it's more of a farce now it's more like scary movie
three or four than it is scream well they lost me at two and it jumped over to the scary movies
got me at three like i switched over from well I can watch a silly movie that's the same thing, essentially,
but knows how silly it is.
I scream, you scream, we all scream four.
I like it.
Which one were you in?
I got Belknap with that.
Which one were you in, Sam?
Ma'am!
Which one were you in? Which one were you in? I? Ma'am! Which one were you in?
I was not in any of the scary...
You could have just said any of them.
One, I know you're not in one.
I know you're not in one.
I was in another teen movie, which
people always say,
didn't I see you in a scary movie, too?
I guess those two movies kind of came out
around the same time.
I didn't make that mistake for that reason.
But I know that you're in another teen movie.
I spoofed the one that has the most.
I know everything that you are in,
and then there's other things that I think you might be in.
Oh.
That's all I'm saying.
I see.
Also Club Dread.
That's right.
Yeah, well, Club Dread.
I've been in two horror films.
You were in Judge Dread.
No, Club Dread, Grandpa.
But Club Dread, I thought, was underrated.
I liked that movie.
I agree.
That movie grew on me the more I got to watch it over the years.
And it was kind of like the Scream movies in that it was kind of bloody and violent
and in an unpleasant way.
One scene where she reaches out and grabs the knife and then they pull it back through
her hands.
It's pretty gnarly.
Yeah, it's great.
Yeah, it makes me... It skews me out when I think about it.
Yeah.
I didn't like the violence in Scream 4 that much, though.
It felt really the same after, because you just run around with a knife and you get that
boosh, that gut-squishing noise that you always hear.
And it's, I was done with the gut-squishing for 10 minutes.
Oh my God, the Foley artist spent a fortune on melons.
There's some guy at home who did the sound for that movie just holding his head,
listening to this,
like, my life's work.
Well, the first one was silly.
That opening scene
with Drew Barrymore,
it still is.
It's amazing.
It's great.
It's amazing how good it is.
Everything.
And even, like,
there is humor,
because Matthew,
excuse me if I pronounce it wrong,
Matthew Lillard,
Lillard, I can't,
Shaggy.
I think it's Lillard, yeah.
Lillard, Shaggy.
He was funny in it.
He's still psychotic, but he was funny.
He had his lines.
In this, everything's forced.
I thought Anthony Anderson was forced.
I thought Adam Brody was forced.
I don't know.
You know what?
I dug the opening scene in Scream 4, though.
I thought it was a cool way to do it, and I was into it.
And I really thought I was going to hate the high school kids going into the movie.
And I didn't end up hating the high school kids.
I ended up rooting against Courtney Cox and David Arquette.
And they all seemed like they were trying to force themselves
into the movie more.
Right, because it should be about the kids.
And I think probably the idea of this movie is
let's have some young people that they can be
in the next one and we can finally
retire this, you know,
the goofy sheriff and the reporter.
They all should have been killed in the first 10 minutes
of the movie, then just let these teenagers die
in peace.
Yeah, and also that's the thing
is that the audiences that went this weekend
probably could care less about
Courtney Cox and David Arquette being in it.
You know what I mean?
They're not sitting around going,
oh, I want more of that.
They want more of just a scary movie that's fun.
That's what they told you.
And it's something that's already in the public domain, in the lexicon.
Yeah, it's just something we're all familiar with.
More people know that mask from that movie than from the painting it's based on.
Is it based on?
Yes, it's that Munch painting that's the scream.
It's what it's supposed to look like.
It's based on a painting from Scream 1?
You mean like the movie poster
that somebody did a painting of?
Did you think about calling it
Schmoes Don't Know?
That's actually a great out for us
because people say, oh, you're turning into critics.
We're not critics. We're just Schmoes, you asshole.
How could you say to a Schmo,
wow, you're really a fuck-up
at what you're doing?
I don't do research.
I'm just a schmo.
No shit.
We're schmos.
Yeah.
It's not Sam Worthington.
It's a guy from Avatar.
What do you want from me?
We get yelled at all the time.
You guys didn't look it up on IMDb?
No.
I thought Sucker Punch took place in an orphanage.
I know.
He was a mental institution.
We got ripped off of that.
It's only two weeks later.
Yep.
I love the movie, but look, I went there for the dragons.
weeks later yeah i love the movie but look i went there for the dragons in the you know i wish like if i ever see it again i'm going to just watch it and think in my head this is an orphanage
it might raise the stakes a little bit because i was kind of like these are all these women all
seem adult enough that any group of them could overtake these assholes that are in charge of
this place i just couldn't get the i couldn't get what the menace was. It just seemed like they were all... They weren't singing
enough songs together. That was
their downfall. It's a cutthroat orphanage.
You either get adopted or you get a lobotomy.
There's no middle ground here.
It's the first movie in a long time that I've
spent the entire time wishing,
just praying and wishing that I was
loving it. I just wanted to
like it so much
and I never gave up on it until
it was over and i went oh it never it never did anything for me oh it never turned over for you
i hated the first 20 minutes of it because it was just a loud obnoxious kind of music video and then
i said all right well this is just obviously just stylized trash and i'm just going to go with it
and i think i went the opposite i was just saying i shut my brain off and i was like all right i
get what they're trying to do and i enjoyed it for what it was for me but yeah i could
see where a lot of people hated it for sure yeah and i just i i that's while i was watching i was
saying this could but this could be one of those things where it's going to get somewhat of a cult
status and the people that love it really love it yeah i dug it i really liked that i gave it four
out of five schmoes our rating system and. And it made me really believe in Zack Snyder
as far as making the new Superman movie.
Well, that's going to be...
That could go either way at this point
because if he
wants to continue to do
the thing he did, because essentially Watchmen
is just kind of a prequel
to Sucker Punch in that
major sequences take place
over like you hear practically an
entire song uh happening over a sequence that happens a lot in watchmen and then and sucker
punches that wall to wall so it's uh that's a little scary that he would do that with a superman
movie because i don't think i don't think that would work for a superman movie if it's closer
to the owl movie that he did then it could be really good that's the only thing that gives me hope the owl movie told it really i didn be awful. If it's closer to the Owl movie that he did, then it could be really good.
That's the only thing
that gives me hope.
But the Owl movie told a really,
I didn't see it,
but it told a really
straightforward story well, right?
And had a lot of physical action.
And I think there was
one song in there.
It turned into a Disney movie
for like five minutes
where it was like
a Pocahontas song or something.
But I was in the bathroom
during that time.
But the thing is too,
it's the only movie
that he's got
that has any character development is that Owl's movie. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. It is too it's the only movie that he's got that does has any character development is that al's movie yeah yeah that's it it is weird watching the al's talk for like
the first five minutes of the movie you're like al's can't talk but after that you're like it's
like watching a cover band it takes five minutes to realize how silly it is and then you really
that's that's the thing about sucker punch for me is that it was just like i i find i found all the
actors appealing to look at but i didn't find any of any
of what they were saying or doing or how they were behaving interesting like i just couldn't get
i couldn't get into it and i'm like you know i i draw the line at charlie's angels 2 but
charlie's angels 1 was really fun i really enjoyed it doug doug i enjoyed it but then
charlie's angels 2 was too much it was was too much. Full throttle. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They tried to take Benson to six years, and he was like, no, I'm downshifted, baby.
Yeah, it really took an ugly turn of like, oh, more of that is not a good idea.
Like, it worked once, you know, and we should move on.
But in general, like, sexy girls fighting is the best.
Kill Bill?
Yeah, of course.
I just saw the whole thing.
The whole bloody affair?
Yeah, I sat there and watched part one and two
with an intermission in between the two.
And the only thing that was different,
it was the unrated version,
but the only difference I could tell
was that the scene with the crazy 88s,
he doesn't have to go to black and white.
It just stays in color the whole time.
So you get all the bloodshed. Except for a couple times it go to black and white. It just stays in color the whole time. So you get all the bloodshed.
Except for a couple times it goes to black and white
because now it's the stylistic choice.
But for a while it was a choice I had to make
because of censorship.
Is there any truth that he's going to do the sequel to it?
He had said it a couple times.
Who knows what he's going to do or how long it's going to take.
If anyone here had ever worked with him or knew him,
they could probably weigh in.
If we only had a guy on the inside.
If anyone here was in a movie
and spent a lot of time working on it and then
only has a couple of brief scenes.
What was the name of that movie he did about the Nazis?
Like Uncelebrated Assholes?
Something like that.
No, it was something about thrones.
Hang on guys, I'm texting BJ Novak.
Bringing it to the bottom of this.
Look, he,
Quentin loves to talk
about the movies he has in his head
that he's working on.
Yeah, and getting him to paper
is a whole other deal.
Right, I'm sure he's sketched out stuff,
but it's like,
since Pulp Fiction,
he's been talking about,
oh, we're going to do the Vega Brothers.
Oh, we're going to do Kill Bill Volume 3.
Oh, we're going to do,
on the set of Bastards,
he was like,
we're going to do a prequel to this.'re gonna do aldo and uh the bear jew coming up
through italy like i'd watch that i would i would i would hope he tables the vega brothers i think
i think it's officially been tabled but i mean it's now the guy who like the story is never
complete for him like there's always more that can be told.
And I think if he ever actually sat down and really started to do that for his old movies,
he'd never make anything new.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And by table, I meant shit can.
I think you're safe.
Because on the table, it still could happen.
Right.
I want it incinerated.
I think he publicly said a couple years ago that both the guys are too old
i'd actually be fascinated by that though actually i'd love to see the script that i that i'd be
interested yeah yeah well i'd love to that i think that's what he should do is just put out you know
if he's he will i don't know if laziness is the right word for it because he you know his stuff
he puts out at least it's always pretty amazing you know no it is if he was putting out things
more quickly like a lot of the directors that make a movie a year his stuff his stuff would
be more hit and miss or mostly miss in the case of him his new movie is his 42nd movie holy shit
woody ellen's made 42 movies and i could name probably 37 or 38 of them i mean i've always
loved him and paid attention to what he was doing.
But, man, the last few years have been brutal.
Yeah, it's Rachel McAdams and Owen Wilson playing the role of Woody Allen.
You know, Woody Allen's alter ego.
Even the one everybody loved with Scarlett Johansson.
If Scarlett Johansson wasn't in it running around acting sexy, it would have been boring as fuck.
Was that a match point?
Yeah.
Oh, I actually thought that was a good movie.
Scoop was terrible.
I didn't see that.
Scoop was the one where Ian McKellen, not McKellen, the guy from Deadwood.
Ian McShane?
McShane.
He plays a dead magician who appears to Woody Allen and helps him because he's a magician,
a shitty magician.
I see.
And he appears before him
and then,
what's her name,
Johansson becomes his assistant.
But it's supposed to be a comedy.
It's so not funny.
And everything that comes out of Scarlett Johansson,
and by the way,
Woody Allen,
if you listen to this podcast,
forget it, I guess.
There's nothing I can say
to save it at this point.
Jesus.
Why?
What were you going to say? Entrasting the shit out of his work i was no i was already saying that yeah it's just uh
you love woody allen but in in scoop he finally makes the he natasha natasha uh scarlett scarlett
has to all of her lines uh sound like they're just she talks like woody allen yeah i noticed
that from watching the trailer i'm'm like, that's weird.
That's finally going too far.
Until he gets Lucy Liu
to talk like him in a movie, then it would really
be like, wow.
We've really gotten to the bottom of this.
I've never felt more comfortable on a podcast
because he just called Scarlett Johansson.
I think you were going for Natasha Henstridge is what you were about to call her.
I don't think so, but
man, Natasha Henstridge. I saw her in line call her. I don't think so, but man, Natasha Henstridge.
I saw her in line at the grocery store one time
and I was just like,
when she takes out
her boobs in Species,
that's right up there with
Jamie Lee Curtis in Trading Places.
When she gets hatched in Species.
Phoebe Cates might still be number one.
What about the chick from Just One of the Guys?
Oh, yeah, that's a good one.
The trouble with that one, though, is that
the legend has it that's really her boobs,
but they cut into a close-up like it's a double.
I think you see her face, though, then.
I think they pull out.
Yeah, you definitely see her face.
But initially, it's like,
oh, no, this is going to be one of those.
Oh, no, I'm going to get scared.
Oh, no, these aren't going to be real.
But I just think that there's something about, as a man,
I can never ever forget whenever somebody really hot shows up on screen,
has a real part in the movie, is a real actress, is not some idiot,
and then they just take out their amazing boobs like it's the greatest moment when that happens even worked with your highness when
natalie portman showed her ass how could you say this to me when i haven't seen that yet well it's
in the trailer and was assuming in the trailer oh well she could show her ass in the trailer
how much ass is that red band trailer oh he's in the he's schmoes. No. Is it his ass or is it in that thong?
It's in the thong, but I mean, it's pretty much her ass.
And then everyone was like, well, that could be a double.
It's a full shot of her.
Well, you see her ass pretty good in Closer.
Yeah.
Our editor said in that review, we did about 30 minutes on her ass in that review, and
they had to cut it down.
Yeah.
I was talking about it.
Because we thought her ass started in that one.
Because the movie had other qualities that I'm sure were around that we didn't really pay attention to.
It was funny.
Yeah, well, I can't believe it's getting such universally bad reviews.
I just kind of write it off as the MacGyver factor where an older critic that's out of touch is sitting in a room by himself watching this movie that's, by all accounts, pretty dirty and silly.
I said MacGyver again?
I always call it MacGyver in conversation.
We're all thinking, wait, there's a MacGyver movie?
We have to see this immediately.
I'm just distracted right now by how much Sam Levine looks like...
Tarantino.
No, Wolverine.
You know what? Wolverine, the cartoon character you look like tiny wolverine
now here's why here's why you went from tiny dana gould to tiny wolverine that's an upgrade
congratulations i will take it i'll take it now allow me to explain what's going on here
i have not shaved i've grown a little bit of a beard here and i've not had my hair cut in a long
time because i am meeting with a potential director
person for a role
that requires me to be kind of hippie-ish.
Hippie-ish? Yeah.
You look so, it looks, you've
grown beard but it just all looks very
clean cut.
Really? It looks like fucking Wolverine.
That's insane. All I did was
shave my neck so my girlfriend
would stop hating me. But that's what I'm saying. If you want to be a hippie beard, you've got to have some more neck hair.
Some neck beard?
Yeah, it looks like a well-maintained beard.
This took 10 seconds.
It doesn't look like a hippie.
You know what was great about your explanation?
Yeah, grow out some.
Shave it weird.
Go in like Keanu Reeves in The Gift.
I'm afraid that that's all I'm talking about.
Take out weird chunks of it with a razor, and then you'll look like more of a hippie.
If only that were what really happened.
Keanu Reeves, you should never attempt to grow a beard.
No, yeah, no.
He's like, mine's terrible, too.
I can't really.
I shouldn't throw.
And neither should I.
I'm not.
This is not a very good beard.
I shouldn't throw stones at his lake house.
Because I might get a letter a year earlier.
All right. We got to play the Letter Malden game. I might get a letter a year earlier. Alright, we gotta
play the Letter Maltin game. Wait, can we talk about
Source Code real quick? Because I actually saw that this
weekend. Alright, let's talk about it really quick.
Did you guys see it? Yeah.
Spoiler fucking alert, there's no way to talk about
this movie without...
I don't want to talk about it.
I know we're no spoiler alert.
Don't talk about it.
People are waiting. Somebody gets screwed is basically what you're saying.
People are waiting for DVDs.
Somebody's soul gets effed over.
Yes.
He gets screwed.
Yes, he gets absolutely fucked.
I totally agree with you.
Without spoiling it,
somebody gets screwed bad.
It's about a train exploding
and lots of people dying,
so it's safe to assume someone got fucked.
Yeah, someone gets really screwed in that moment.
Somebody is at the pearly gates of heaven
complaining, excuse me,
I'm not supposed
to be here.
The train had another
stall that I was
going to live.
That's the truth.
Why don't I go down
and watch this other
guy bang my girlfriend?
Why is that happening?
I thought you just
spoiled it.
No, it didn't.
No, it didn't.
Kind of.
It's still interesting.
I will say this.
If you like any sort
of time travel,
if you like alternate
reality stuff,
see this movie.
It's actually really entertaining.
It was my favorite movie of the year.
The Schmoes never give spoilers unless Little Wolverine brings it up.
In that case, you have to run with it.
Nice work, LW.
Thank you very much.
All right, so let's play a little game.
Take out your phone.
You explain the rules.
It's this game that we play on the show every week.
I believe we played this on the Corolla podcast, if I'm not mistaken.
No, we didn't.
When you guest hosted it.
Oh, I made you guys play it on there?
You did guest host Adam Corolla one time.
I did do that.
You guys were on, but I thought we just shot the shit.
I didn't think we played the Leonard Moulton game.
I'm just comfortable with you regardless of what game you want to play.
Well, Brian and Allison were on last week, and they played.
Well, I'm the last guy to not play it,
so let's get it going.
All right.
All right, here we go.
You'll figure it out as we go.
Sam will start with me.
We're going to start with you.
I normally host this part and the whole show.
Let's do that sometime.
You host up until this part,
and then I run the game.
Sounds great.
Yeah.
Or you're going to be in the tournament championships.
All right.
Here we go.
All right.
So your three categories to choose from.
In honor of 420,
Clint Howard is having his birthday then.
So you've got Clint Howard movies.
Let me just set it up for everybody. We're two
days out from 420 now.
And when they're listening to this, it will have been two days ago.
Right. Continue.
But, you know, 420 for you. Yeah, yeah.
So Clint Howard movies. Putting a time and place you can do
clint howard movies uh you can do because uh wait wait wait that's the 420 category that's uh one of
my 420 oh these are all 420 categories i just have a two 420 categories oh my god i've never
done that i've never had two categories that are under a sub category heading or something it's
fine it's fine all right uh so you All right. So you got Clint Howard movies.
Sam's taking a lot of crap from the guests on this one.
I always take crap from Doug.
I got to talk him through it.
You know, it's like if Alex Trebek was playing Jeopardy, he probably would tell them when
they're doing it wrong.
He probably would.
Baseball movies.
Or, and this is a great category because I think it leaves so much open, movies my mom
likes.
All right. I shot her an email this morning.
Movies Sam's mom likes.
My mother, Lynn Levine, I shot her an email this morning. I was like,
just name some of your favorite movies.
There you go. That's what I got back.
Alright, so Mama Wolverine movies.
Or
baseball. Or Clint Howard movies.
Or Clint Howard.
I'm going to go with...
Now, when you say Clint Howard,
you mean Ron Howard movies.
Not necessarily.
Okay.
Not necessarily.
I know.
He has been in a few others.
But he's been in every Ron Howard movie.
Do you think there is a Ron Howard movie
he hasn't been in?
Or wasn't in?
Ooh, we should look into that.
I bet you there hasn't been.
I bet you there hasn't been.
And his dad's in most of them, too.
Mm-hmm.
Rance.
Rance Howard.
Yeah, and the mom was in some.
Yes.
All right.
Yeah, I know a lot about the Howards.
Yeah, yeah.
Wow.
Stumped.
Weird.
I will go with baseball.
All right.
Would you like a baseball movie from 1988, 1993, or 2005?
Years mean nothing to me.
I'm terrible with the years.
Give them to me again.
88, 93,
05.
Let's go 88.
Good choice.
Good choice.
Here we go.
So don't wait until it's your turn before responding to anything
because you might hear something where you think you're supposed to
say the name of the movie.
I'm just being the cousin on Family Feud rooting you might hear something where you think you're supposed to say the name of the game.
I'm just being the cousin on Family Feud, rooting you on.
That's all I'm doing.
No, no.
We're playing against each other.
Okay.
So don't root me on.
Tear me down.
It's going to come around to you in a second, and you'll see.
You'll figure it out.
All right, Doug.
Why don't you watch Christian do it?
Leonard liked this one.
He gave it three stars.
Okay.
He said it was exquisitely detailed, and the writer-director touches all the bases
Except perhaps in terms of emotion
And there are 16 names
Whoa!
Right?
That's a lot of names
That's a lot, right?
Oh my goodness, that's a lot of names
Alright, so now it's a bidding game
Mark, where
We go around, the three of us And bid on how many names from the cast of the movie
it would take to guess the name of this movie from you know 16 and the 16th person is the lowest
billed name that yeah is listed on letter maln's app so i'm going to start the bidding i'm going
to bring it down a little bit and say 12 names. It would take me reading from the bottom of the list up
to name this baseball
movie from 1980.
Would you care to bid
lower than Doug or do you want him to name that movie?
Yeah, I want him to
name the movie.
Alright, so
by doing that, it doesn't go to you.
You don't get a chance.
Oh, now I get it.
Now I see what's happening.
See, this happens.
I too often don't say when I ask the guests ahead of time to listen to the podcast all the way through.
All the way through.
Because they never listen all the way through.
You've basically just given Doug the point on this, but that's fine.
That's fine.
And I'm the one who hasn't listened to the podcast.
Well done, Harlow.
Maybe not.
Maybe I won't get it.
There's almost no way you can't get it.
Damn schmo.
He's going to pee in your face if he misses it.
But that's how you do it.
You challenge the other person to name it.
And if I fail, you'll get the point.
If I get it, I'll get the point.
Let's not judge me yet.
Let's see how he does.
And we'll do another one.
It's first person to two points.
You're still in this.
All right, here we go.
First name is Maggie Renzi.
The great Maggie Renzi.
And you got John Andersonerson do you know it already
from maggie renzi no wow uh all right studs turkle yep kevin uh kevin tie yeah bill erwin
james reed oh i know it i know it i know. I'm only six names in. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, I still think I can say it.
All right, go for it.
Eighth man out.
Judges?
Oh, that's not the right name?
Sorry, Grandpa.
I know I got it wrong, right?
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Wait, wait, wait.
Let me get it right.
Let me get it right.
That's not how the game's played, is it?
It's something men out.
It's something men out. It's something men out.
You're so close.
It's a...
Wait a second.
Wait a second.
Wait a second.
I got this.
I got this.
I got this.
I know how to figure it out.
People are screaming in their cars listening to this.
First base.
Shortstop.
Second base.
Third base.
Three in the outfield.
No.
That's not how you get it?
That's not...
You're not going to get it.
It's not a baseball reference?
You were so close with everything you'd said before. No, no. That's not how you get it? That's not, you're not going to get it. It's not a baseball reference? You were so close
with everything
you'd said before.
This is great.
Eight men out.
There it is!
What did I say?
You said eighth man out.
Oh, well, yeah.
I was just,
I was hedging my bets
by fudging the pronunciation
because I wasn't
completely clear.
No, it's just like
going to the movies.
I wanted tickets
for the one
that the kids want to see.
Eighth man out.
I don't. My mom doesn't see these.
The one with Jusek.
If I was going to screw it up for humor, I could
do better than that.
Because I do that all the time at the box office.
It's fun to just say as inaccurately
as possible while still conveying
what you want so that they'll
usually just give you the ticket without
any discussion.
They kind of know which one you're trying to see. Give give me one for boy lesk they're not gonna go did you
mean all right well congratulations doug all right i believe for the first time in the history of me
hosting this game you have a point really i'm afraid that might be right. John Sayles directed that. Yeah, I think he did.
So I'm not as stupid as I sound.
No, no, sir.
Oh, Matt knew that Maggie Renzi
was the producer on the movie.
Wow.
That was a good clue for you.
All right, so Point, Benson, Christian.
We're going to start with you now.
No, no, we start with Mark because he didn't even get a chance to participate.
All right.
Christian had a shot, blew it.
You're going to get to choose a category.
But you're doing a great job, Sam.
I'm not picking on everything.
Thanks, buddy.
All right, here we go.
So you're going to get, I will give you three different categories.
How about that?
Okay, let's do it.
You can select from another one of my 420 birthdays, Crispin Glover.
That's a 420 birthday. So Crispin Glover
movies. Oh, Clint Howard
was born on 420. Yeah.
Now I get it. There you go. That makes a lot of sense.
Figure it out.
Oh, terrible. Alright, Crispin Glover
movies.
Where was he born? I'll hit you again with movies
my mom likes.
Or you can also
choose from In Theaters Now, which is
a very popular category.
In Theaters Now, I think I would
probably... I'm most confident
with In Theaters Now. You don't get a rating
because Leonard doesn't rate his reviews
longer, but you still get
a few clues and you know that it's In Theaters Now.
And so if you guys are seeing
everything, then you've probably seen
the movies that he's got
I will put my credibility as a movie reviewer on the line
And I will do movies and theaters now
Would you like
With all apologies to your mom
Would you like a movie from
Now
Now
Or now
The third one
Okay here we go
Have I ever said that
No
Okay good
No I mean
No no I just mean that you know
That was a funny joke.
I'm happy for you.
Thanks, buddy.
Sounds like something I might have said at some point.
It is weird that you have three of them loaded up and you just have to pick one.
You might have said it.
I don't know.
I may have heard it.
I play this game a lot, you know, especially when I'm alone.
All right, here we go.
Leonard says, it's well-crafted and well-cast.
One problem may be its length.
The lead does a fine job, but Leonard has to rate this one as a near miss,
and you've got ten names.
Hmm.
I think I can get it on six names.
All right.
That's a strong bid.
I should tell you guys, since you haven't played before,
the bidding goes all the way to zero,
and if you go to negative names, if you choose to,
that means you have to name it in order from the top of the billing,
however many negative names you say.
Yeah, complicated shit.
So if we'd done that on the last one on 8-Man Out
and you give negative one, then you'd have to say John Cusack
and go down the list.
Yeah, yeah. So what do you down the list. Yeah, yeah.
So what do you got? 8-Man, yeah.
Oh, the 8-Man, wasn't that
early Verhoeven with
Rutger Hauer?
I think it was, maybe.
Other than my Verhoeven cinema
technique class.
I'm very good at trivia where you're not saying anything
anybody's heard of or knows about
and you can just say it and just act like you're smart.
Nicely done. Yeah. You cornered the market.
Alright, so it's six names to you,
Doug. I'll go five names.
Alright. I'm not kidding around.
I'll try four.
I'll do three.
Wow!
How many names are there? Ten? Ten names.
It's in theaters now? It's in theaters right now.
What are the clues again?
It's well-crafted and well-cast.
One problem may be its length.
The lead does a fine job.
Len rates it as a near miss.
It's in theaters now?
Right now.
We can go out and see it this afternoon.
You and me.
Like the old days, Doug.
I'll go negative one name.
Oh, come on. Oh my goodness.
I want to get into the
tournament of championships.
He threw his headphones off.
There could be a sound issue
for a second.
Benson was laying low for a minute, then Amarillo Slim
just steps up to the table.
Think about it. I put all the clues together.
I think I know what it is.
I think I know what it is, too.
Hang on. He has to say name it is. I think I know what it is, too. Hang on.
Christian.
He has to say name it or go negative two or more names.
On that one.
I'll go negative two.
Oh, my God.
Wow.
All right.
I think I'm going to go negative three.
Now, you've got to get them in order in the building that's listed by Leonard.
It's not always accurate.
Just want to give you a heads up on that.
So yeah, I've got to say name it and name three names.
So what's the movie?
You want to start with the movie?
Yeah, starting with the names is silly if it's the wrong movie.
Yeah, I think it's Source Code.
And I think it's J.P. Arnold.
Hang on, wait a second.
Is it Source Code?
It's not Source Code.
I don't think so.
I don't think so.
You're messing with the trains.
Okay.
All right.
All right.
Let me try now.
The point goes to.
I get the point.
Oh, you just won the game, by the way.
Oh, I won the whole thing?
Yeah.
All right.
But it's the Adjustment Bureau.
No.
Oh, that's what I thought it was.
That's good.
Adjustment Bureau, Matt Damon.
Suck it.
So what is it?
It's well-crafted.
Why would source?
Because you know the near miss is like when two planes almost crafted. Why would source, because you know like the near miss
is like when two planes
almost hit each other
as if the train is.
Arthur.
No, no, no.
He says the movie.
He says the movie's
a near miss.
I'll tell you what I'm going to do.
It's not supposed to be a pun.
I'm going to read
from the bottom up.
Oh, I love it.
And then you guys.
Can Matt play?
Absolutely.
Everyone can play.
Here we go.
Bryan Cranston.
Francis Fisher.
Oh, yeah. Stop, stop, stop.
Lincoln Lawyer.
Dude, our YouTube channel
subscribers numbers were plummeting until
I saved it with the Lincoln Lawyer.
This has happened at least
two of the three times I've done this. I sit at home
for hours preparing 18 fucking
great movies and it only takes two
to crown a
winner sometimes it goes fast we could do a bonus one for fun mama Wolverine
should get her category her movies my mom likes I brought for you guys we'll
play that category in a second but I brought for all my guests on the show
today each of you get a woot monkey yeah Oh, wow. Finally. Thank you. And if you listen to the show, you'd know all about woot monkeys.
I'm a woot monkey.
I felt like I was going to have to be in the audience.
Pull this thing out, and then it will make this noise whether you want it to or not for the rest of time.
You don't know how appropriate this is for us.
This is great.
Their arms are slingshots, so you can actually shoot them through the air.
See, like this.
Oh, wow. You're the home viewer. We're slinging
monkeys across the studio here.
Across the studio. It's a lot of fun.
It's like the Planet of the Apes trailer.
Pull the thing so it'll scream when you
shoot it through the air. Oh, yeah. You gotta give him
a rebel yell kind of thing.
And then he'll go.
Yeah.
Pull that out and now throw him.
Alright, here we go. Use the slings go. Pull that out and now throw him. Yeah.
All right.
Here we go.
Use the slingshot arms and shoot him through the air.
Off you go, monkey. Oh, boy.
Well done.
The apes would not rise if that was it.
Yeah.
We have an intraday.
The monkeys.
Yeah.
For people coming to my live shows, I've been shooting them out into the crowd on occasion.
Wow.
The monkeys. Doug, I've been shooting them out into the crowd on occasion. Wow. The monkeys.
Doug, I'm really proud of you.
So be sure to wear your slickers.
I'm really proud of you.
Remember when you texted me today to remind me about the podcast?
What did I text you back?
I said, I prepped a great Malton game today, and I have a good feeling for you.
Oh, yeah, you did.
Because you haven't won yet.
And I felt like people were on your way.
Well, also, it's, you know,
mentally, I was here.
I was at the game before these guys.
Yeah.
Just like Tyson prepping himself against Spence.
Yeah.
All right.
You don't want to run into Benson on 420 Week
playing the Leonard Mullen game.
Since Christian never got to choose a category
or anything,
you're just getting stuck with movies my mom likes.
So you get one from 1990, 95, or
2007. Recent movies
for your mom. 90. I asked her
to... There were a bunch in there that were not.
Holiday Inn? Is that in theaters?
1990. Alright.
1990. I love
meet me in St. Louis.
What's the year?
This is 1990 Okay
And Leonard
Much like myself
Loved this movie
He gave it three and a half stars
I would give it four
Okay
Called it exciting
And complex
Long
Potentially confusing at times
But
It was an Oscar winner
For sound effects editing
Is he describing this podcast
Or the movie?
That was
And you got 13 names.
Hmm.
1990.
I actually think I can do it in 10.
10 names.
That's a strong opening bid.
Okay.
I'll go to eight.
Eight names.
Ooh, jumped.
Jumped a bid.
Negative two, please.
Oh, my goodness.
There's no way you know already. It's negative two, please. So hopped up on Roids. Yeah Negative two, please. Oh, my goodness. There's no way you know already.
It's negative two, please.
So hopped up on roids.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You already know it?
I'm excited about this.
Oh, wow.
I'm pretty sure I know it.
I hope so.
It's got to be that, right?
Read the clues again.
Name the movie.
All right, one more time for you.
Christmas is name it.
Yeah.
Exciting, complex, long, potentially confusing at times.
Oscar winner for sound effects editing. Give me the negative two. Oh, complex, long, potentially confusing at times. Oscar winner for sound
effects editing. Give me the
negative two. Oh yeah, I don't know what this is.
Oh, what an asshole. You have to name it
based on that. Ghost.
No, because it changed
with the
potentially confusing.
Threw it off. But hang on a second.
I got a second to think about it. Because you said
sound effects editing. Could it have won other Oscars
that you're not mentioning? Do you know? I don't know.
This was in Leonard's review.
Okay. Damn you, Moulton, and your riddles.
Yeah, no,
the clues don't help. They just make it harder.
That's true.
That's part of the fun about it.
In my opinion, it should have
been nominated for other things if it wasn't.
Huh, okay. I don't know if it was.
And obviously your mom feels the same way.
She loves this movie as much as I do.
Hmm.
Yeah.
All right, go ahead and give me the two names.
The negative two?
Yeah, give me the two negative names.
Damn it, I really thought I'd honed in on it, but the confusing part doesn't make sense.
Did you think it was, what did you think it was?
I thought I was going to say Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet, Titanic.
1990?
I know.
I'm terrible at years.
What the hell's the matter with you?
I'm terrible at years.
When was Titanic?
97.
All right.
And it was December 19th.
All right.
It wasn't the theme of my prom.
1997, that movie opened.
It was Christmas of 97, right?
This is when I saw it.
Yeah, yeah.
And I fell in love with Celine Dion.
I remember the day.
I stood in line.
All right. Let's hear the clues again.
We can figure this out.
I have a shot in the dark that I'm willing to take.
Let's hear the clues again.
It's exciting.
It's complex.
Titanic.
No.
It's long and potentially confusing at times.
And there's no boats.
But it's an Oscar winner for sound effects editing.
13 names.
JFK, Kevin Costner,
Walter Matthau.
Ooh, you know what? It could be because
didn't Dances with Wolves
beat Goodfellas in every major
category of the Oscars that year, so it could be Goodfellas.
Is it
confusing? Goodfellas?
Much confusing. Goodfellas was 91.
Who knows? Walter Maltin was on in the 90s, man?
He's right. Dances with Elves,
as I like to call it, did
in fact beat Goodfellas for Best Picture.
But this is 90.
This is also 90. You know what? I think this one
may have even been nominated for Best Picture.
They nominate five of them.
If it isn't nominated for
Best Picture that year, it's a fucking crime.
Ford Fairlane.
Alright, well, do you want to do the same thing where you read from the bottom, we'll yell it out when we know it? If it isn't nominated for Best Picture that year, it's fucking crime. Ford Fairlane. All right.
Well, do you want to do the same thing where you read from the bottom?
We'll yell it out when we know it.
There we go.
Here we go. Sounds like fun.
Somebody won the pool and the point.
You won.
Christian got a point.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
You get a point.
I mean, there's no reason to get points at this point.
Timothy Carhart.
Who?
Timothy Carhart.
I know it.
No, I don't.
Great name.
You're going to know it on this one, though.
Timothy Carhart was the bad guy. I guarantee you, one of you guys're going to know it on this one, though. Timothy Carhart was the bad guy.
I guarantee you, one of you guys are going to know on this next name.
In Beverly Hills Cop 2.
Fred Dalton Thompson.
We're going to guarantee we know it from that.
Ooh, yeah.
He's in all those.
He's in every.
If you're a 90s action movie, you need Fred Dalton Thompson.
Come for October.
That's the movie.
Nicely done.
How do you get it?
Only two fucking names.
That's all you needed.
Why did I have to go
and fucking show off
with the negative two bullshit?
Why couldn't I just wait?
It would have come to me.
It could have just came to me.
And a great play by Sam's mom
throwing the hunt
for Red October.
I know.
That's not a mom movie.
It's not a mom movie.
And her other two movies
you would not expect.
She loves Tim Curry.
She loves anything
that Tim Curry's in.
She does.
Does Ned Vaughn get billing in there? I'm wrapped in this game. Her other new movies you would not expect. She loves Tim Curry. She loves anything that Tim Curry's in. She does. Tim Curry.
Does Ned Vaughn get billing in there?
I'm wrecked in this game.
No.
Ned Vaughn's like the kid sitting there at the thing going, boop, boop, and going, oh,
no, there's the thing.
Yeah.
And I knew him.
I was kind of friends with him, so I was excited to see him in that. Oh, all right.
Well, I'm very proud of you, Doug.
I knew you wanted to take a movie my mom likes from 1995 Or 2007
We're out of time
But that sounds like a lot of fun
Okay let's do it
What are the years?
95-2007
Since I won the Leonard Mullen game
Each of you on the blank space here
Please write down somebody you would like me to call a shithead
For my closing
My signature closing of the show Anybody you want Anyone you would like me to call a shithead for my closing, my signature closing of the show.
It doesn't matter who it is.
Anybody you want.
Anyone you want Doug Benson
to call a shithead,
about 1,600 people are going to hear this.
That's...
What's that?
I'm talking about the year.
People in the 1600s listen to this.
What are the years?
95, 2007.
That your mom likes.
These are movies my mother loves.
Let's go more recent.
Let's go 2007.
Here we go.
Three stars.
Is J-Lo in it?
No.
Okay.
Three stars.
My mother thinks...
So far, your mother has good taste.
Hot for October is a good movie.
I think this movie deserves four stars.
Leonard called it rock solid.
And the writer-director tells the story with supreme assurance.
And then Leonard also says, be sure to sit through the credits.
Nine names.
Be sure to sit through the credits.
I know, right?
For outtakes or for an additional scene.
Now, I know what he's talking about.
Someone saying go home?
I know what he's talking about.
And I think it's weird he wrote that in his review.
Let me point that out.
I think I know how to pronounce those names.
Nine names, Doug.
Oh, are you starting with me?
I guess, right?
Who should we start with?
It doesn't matter.
It really doesn't, does it?
Yeah.
I was too worried about who the shithead was, so I didn't hear him.
What's the year again?
It's 2007.
Rock solid.
Three stars.
Rock solid.
The writer-director tells the story with supreme assurance.
Be sure to sit through the credits.
Nine names.
I'm going to go with, what's the year again?
It's 2007.
2007.
He only gave it three stars.
Sounds like he loves it.
I love it.
Three stars.
I think it deserves four.
What are you doing, Len?
It's a four-star movie.
Yes.
And what's the year again?
1997?
2007. Jesus Christ. Ten years after again? This is a four star movie 97?
2007 Jesus Christ
Ten years after Titanic
This is like my grandpa
Wait 2007
That's too recently
For what I think it is
Damn it
Give me clues one more time
Rock solid
Writer director tells the story
With supreme assurance
Be sure to sit through the credits
Nine names Doug You don't have to get it all in that I'll give you some name clues Come on just make it Alright alright Be sure to sit through the credits.
Nine names, Doug.
You don't have to get it all in that.
I'll give you some name clues.
Come on.
All right.
All right.
I'll go seven names.
Seven names.
What do you say, Christian?
I'm not extremely confident, but I think if I hear six names, I'll do six.
What do you say, Mark?
I have confidence in myself, my abilities, five names.
I'll go four. This is good, guys. We're on to, five names. I'll go four.
Good, guys.
We're on to something.
Three?
I'll go three. Was that a silent bid?
Am I supposed to call them out now?
He just held up three fingers.
I'll try three.
Let's do two.
Wow.
Because I want to throw it to Benson with one name to go.
I want to see.
We're down to two names.
You can either say name that movie or bid lower.
I'm just so bad with years.
I have no real strong feeling about what this is.
Sounds like a movie from it could have been 10 years ago.
Could have been last year.
Nothing really specific in any of the clues.
Every day you wake up, everything that happened before you woke up, it's just a mash in your brain, isn't it?
No, it's not bad.
There's just no...
I remember names and faces and stuff about movies.
You bring up a movie, I could tell you something about it.
Sure.
You know?
But the year?
Aren't you on those VH1, like, I Love the 80s shows where you have to know a specific year?
No, I'm not.
That's why I'm not on those.
Everybody thinks I'm on those, but I was on Best Week Ever, where I always knew what week it was.
Always, Doug. There were a couple times in there.
Pretty much always.
All right, so I'm going to say Mark named that movie.
All right, Mark, you're going to get two names.
Okay.
And they are Austin Williams and Dennis O'Hare.
And if it means anything, Dennis
spells his name with just the one N.
With just the one N.
And one S.
And one apostrophe
in the O'Hare.
Rock solid. Three stars.
Writer-director tells a story with supreme
assurance. Supreme assurance
probably... Be sure to sit through those credits.
It's probably a story that's been
told throughout the ages thus the director had to be assured when he told it uh rock solid uh
i'm gonna say it was the uh adaptation of beowulf that's incorrect i'm not even hosting i know
that's wrong that is decidedly incorrect all right right. Dennis O'Hare really, though, is getting me.
He doesn't do a ton of movies.
He's more of a Broadway theater actor who I've seen on a couple of occasions.
You've won the point anyway.
How about David Lansbury?
Ken Howard.
Michael O'Keefe.
Wait a second.
The late Sidney Pollack.
Oh, man.
This next one's going to give it away.
You think?
Oh.
Tilda Swinton.
Oh, Michael Clayton?
There it is.
Son of a bitch.
Dennis O'Hare was in Michael Clayton.
My wife's going to kill me on that one, too.
I totally remember that.
One of her first dates.
How great is that movie, by the way?
Oh, Michael Clayton or Baywood.
That was probably Sidney Pollack's last on-screen role.
Yeah, I think it was.
Yeah.
He was always so good as an actor.
So good.
I loved his dramatic stuff.
In Eyes Wide Shut, he's so perfectly creepy.
And in comedies, he's good.
He was good.
He was just great.
Oh, I miss him.
He was solid.
I miss hanging out with him.
Were you in any of his movies?
It was a rape.
I was not in a Sidney Pollack movie.
Did you meet him?
No, I never met him.
Have you ever met a couple of schmoes before?
Just did it.
I like that. You want to date with that chick last night?
How many schmoes you give her?
It's the new
first, second, face thing.
It's true.
Give a little Wolverine's beard a four out of four schmoes.
Thank you very much.
It's an awesome. You should perform
at Universal Studios with
You should have
Schmo's
oh no I'm having a baby
you should have Schmo's
in different
area
codes
alright
um
thank you so much
for being on the show
Christian Harloff
Mark Ellis
Schmo's No
check them out
schmoesno.com
and on YouTube
click on their YouTube clips
and they'll get
more hits that way
Sam Levine you can catch him
for moments in
Inglourious Bastards.
And especially in the trailer.
It got me so excited. I got so excited
he runs while shooting a gun.
I can't wait to see that.
I can't wait to see it either someday.
And you can follow me on Twitter
at Sam Levine.
Two M's. Thank you.
One N in Dennis O'Hare, two M's in Sam Levine. And you can follow me on Twitter at Sam Levine. Two Ms. Thank you. One N in Dennis O'Hare, two Ms in Sam Levine.
Sam Levine.
And be sure to look at my tour dates and also my past seasons of this show at douglovesmovies.com.
And the next taping of Doug Loves Movies at UCB on Tuesday, April 26th.
I'll just tell you right now.
I already know who the guests are going to be.
And it is going to be Super
As always
Mike Ponce is a shithead
And Martini Paratore
Paratore
Martini Paratore
Is a shithead
Love you
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you
because Doug loves movies.
No, that's not a sore subject.
It's just I'm an asshole that just squints at everything
and puts off going and getting glasses.
I don't need glasses.
Because, you know, as soon as I can't read texts on my iPhone, that's it.
Then I will need the fucking glasses for sure.
But I do mix up the years on the Len Maltin app
because the coloring of them, them is very hard to read.
You won't need glasses. Just do what Kevin Pollak does.
You can change the font size of your text.
Of my text?
The incoming and outgoing text.
I get glasses before I do a punk move like that.
It's really ridiculous.
I get fucking glasses before I get
the deck of cards with the big face things on them.
Honest to God, it looks like someone's got...
It looks like he's looking at cue cards.
It's the billboard option. You have to get a jitterbug, you know cards with the big face things on them. Honest to God, it looks like someone's got, he looks like he's looking at cue cards. It's the billboard option.
On his iPhone.
You have to get a jitterbug, you know,
with the huge numbers.
Well, we just had a fucking save it for the air conversation.
That was the way I was saying it.
Oh, no, you weren't.
Guys, set me up for that jitterbug joke again.
That was really good.
So here's what we'll do is,
since you were rolling on us without telling us
and it was a good conversation, at the end of this remind me at the end of the show i'll remind people to stick
around after the end theme to hear this part it'll be like outtakes it'll be like the end of cannonball
run or you just put it in there without telling anybody directors could no because i just talked
about it or it could be like you know over over be like real time with Bill Maher overtime
where you listen to hear a little bit more.
Some people, as far
as I'm concerned, will just say, no, I had
enough of those four people
and Matt
on occasion. I like the idea of
that we're rewarding people
who listen all the way through the end theme.
Do you trust that people can hear
what you're saying when you're sitting way over there?
Well, I don't think this part needs to be part of it.
I agree. This part does not
belong. I love this part. I think this makes it real.
This is the best part, yeah.
Where we're just talking about whether
or not we're going to do this and what's going to happen.
The gold that was there has now become
gold. Now Matt is speaking louder
to make sure he's picked up on a microphone.
The deliberation.
I think we show the listeners how the sausage was made
and that Matt is the chef of said sausage.
When I listen to a podcast and they have anything they have at the end,
I'll still listen to it until it goes absolutely quiet.
So people are listening to all of this shit.
Do you want to announce it later, like the bonus tracks on your CD?
Yell out bonus tracks?
I'm recording a new CD tomorrow.
And I'm very excited about getting to yell bonus tracks.
Where are you recording it?
And then do some bonus tracks.
What?
Where are you recording it?
At the Punchline in Sacramento.
It's really too late to promote it.
And it's two nights from now, actually.
We're recording this on 4-18.
But now we're repeating ourselves, because that's the stuff i say at the top of the
show well good so thanks for listening to all this crap everybody thank you see you next week