Doug Loves Movies - Kumail Nanjiani, Aparna Nancherla, Demi Adejuyigbe and Matt Besser guest

Episode Date: October 3, 2018

Back at the UCB Franklin, Doug welcomes Kumail Nanjiani, Aparna Nancherla, Demi Adejuyigbe and Matt Besser to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium.... For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Today's show is brought to you in part by DC Universe. Imagine if all the DC stuff you love, movies, comics, collectibles, original DC shows, etc. existed in one place. Well, that's DC Universe. It's designed just for DC fans, and it even has this comic reader that lets you read comics on your big screen. Join the ultimate DC membership today at dcuniverse.com. Enjoy the show! Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming baby sticky seeds with 50 azipop or kernels in his teeth. There's still not more that he won't see
Starting point is 00:00:40 because Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey everybody My name is Doug and I love movies This is Doug Loves Movies Coming to you once again From the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater in Los Angeles, California. It's Tuesday, October 2nd, 2018. And it's also name tag show in time. Do we have any?
Starting point is 00:01:16 Okay, good. We got some. That's exciting. What's that figure you're holding up? It's a Funko Pop doll of Hammond from Jurassic Park. Funko Pop of Hammond from Jurassic Park. What does that have to do with anything? Is your name Hammond?
Starting point is 00:01:34 No. No. So you just brought a thing and held it up. Here's my name tag. Oh, some jumbo donuts? Donetties? Wow.
Starting point is 00:01:49 I mean, I didn't know hostess made jumbo mini donuts. That is a very strange concept. And I will... I should say for the listeners that there's a whole thing of them just sitting here on the table waiting for me. So I will toss those throughout the show. Did I describe any other name tags?
Starting point is 00:02:11 Just that one. Oh, what's this Michael Myers thing over here? It's what? Michael Myers smoking a bong? Is that why you're sitting alone over there? You're so isolated because everyone's like, I'm not going to... smoking a bong? Is that why you're sitting alone over there? You're so isolated because everyone's like, I'm not going to...
Starting point is 00:02:28 Mike Myers is bad enough, but when he's got a fucking bong in his hand, he's just going to, you know, break that off and stab me with it. And what's your name? Mark. Mark. So how does that...
Starting point is 00:02:43 Okay, thanks everybody. The name tags are becoming so less and less name taggy. More just random shit. Doug plugs, this Saturday, October 6, 2018, Doug Loves Movies comes for the first time to Reno, Nevada at the Reno Tahoe Comedy Club in a hole in the ground at Pioneer Center at 420
Starting point is 00:03:10 I'm really hoping for a good turnout for this I do not expect it Wednesday, October 10th Douglas Movies returns to Helium in Philadelphia hashtag gas and I'm doing stand-up and Douglas Movies at the Improv in Washington, D.C. on Thursday, October 11th, and Sunday, October 14th.
Starting point is 00:03:28 Oh, San Francisco on Halloween. Wear costumes. I don't care. For all of my dates and deets. I mean, if you want to, wear them. No, but it's fun to have movie-themed name tag costumes on Halloween, and I always have fun when we do the show in San Francisco on Halloween.
Starting point is 00:03:45 But for all my dates and deets, go to Douglovesmovies.com. That's Douglovesmovies.com! Yeah! Go! That was so relaxed, it was almost like you were saying dot calm. Which should be the address of very calming websites.
Starting point is 00:04:07 What's it called? ASMR or whatever. I brought a bunch of stuff in the prize bag for tonight, starting with an Accidental Comedy Fest poster that they gave me when I did that in Cleveland a few weeks ago. This is kind of fun. These are silicone gummy trays that you can use to make
Starting point is 00:04:30 gummies. It looks kind of like an ice cube tray, but it's a little round gummy thing, so if you're making your own weed snacks, that'd be fun. Oh, here's a shirt that's got something on it that I don't know why anyone
Starting point is 00:04:45 would want to walk around with that on their shirt. But it says Fuck Big Farm. And they do that thing where it's an asterisk instead of a U and fuck, so I guess that makes it you can wear it to an elementary school. Nobody's going to have a problem with it.
Starting point is 00:05:06 Maybe I'll just put these donuts in the prize bag because I don't want to waste time throwing donuts because we've got a lot to pack in tonight, but also a Doug Loves Movies sticker and the stuff brought by my four guests tonight. It's a terrific lineup
Starting point is 00:05:21 as it often is here in Los Angeles. Please give it up for Demi Adige eBay, Aparna Nansharla, Matt Besser, and Kumail Nanjiani. Hello. Let's meet them individually, shall we? All previous guests on the show, so I'm going to just go old school, old fashioned, and start with the lady on the panel. It's Aparna Nancherla, everybody. lady on the panel. It's Aparna Nancherla, everybody.
Starting point is 00:06:08 Is this your first time doing the show in L.A.? Yeah. I'm excited. I'm excited. It's nice to have you here. You've done it in New York at the Gramercy? Yeah, the holiday one. Yeah, and you get to see now how much less interest there is in the show here in Los Angeles than in New York.
Starting point is 00:06:24 It's hard to... Week to week. Who can can do it this isn't even week to week it's like every couple of weeks but you know people have things to do I understand yeah yeah female doughnuts right yeah I bet these are at least three years old. These were made years ago. I just opened it. No, but they were... I mean, look at them. They're made and then they sit around for a while. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:53 Do they have cream in them? Until they're aged. Do they have cream in them? That was the creepiest thing. I don't know why. Hey, you got cream in you? I'll find some cream. Anything. Matt some cream. Anything.
Starting point is 00:07:06 Matt loves cream. I feel like that's the only reason to get Hostess is something with some cream in it. This seems boring to me. All right, give it back. You're bored by that donut. I'm going to put them in the prize bag. No, I was going to also pass it.
Starting point is 00:07:19 All right, I'll throw another one. Yeah, good luck with that. It's nice that they're packaged now. Heads up. So no mess. Oh, that is a good point. The individual packaging really is nice for... I did a club in Chicago, the Zanies in Rosemont,
Starting point is 00:07:36 and they would give me... They go, if you're going to throw donuts, could you put them in these plastic bags? So on my table is a bunch of plastic bags. So I put a donut in it, seal it up, and then chuck it at somebody. And would you yell,
Starting point is 00:07:48 fuck the earth, as you did it? Wait, because that's worse for the earth, all those plastic bags? Yeah, that's what I hear. So you don't think these should be
Starting point is 00:07:57 individually wrapped? No, I don't think those should be. I'm imagining people coming to see a Dougal's Movies tapings and them having to put the donuts in the
Starting point is 00:08:06 individual pouches like when you see a comedian and they don't want their set taped and you have to put your phone in those weird lock boxes.
Starting point is 00:08:12 Yeah. Like that. And then you throw them at them. Yeah, you should get a donut as you put your phone in there. You get a prize
Starting point is 00:08:19 for having to do that. It's a trade-off. Trade-in. Donuts for phone-nuts. That was half a joke. Which half? Yeah, the first half. The middle.
Starting point is 00:08:30 Just just set up is not half a joke. That's a sentence. You're going to get the end by the end of this podcast. Cannot wait for the punchline to Fonuts is Donuts. He's going to have you naked
Starting point is 00:08:41 by the end of this pod. What are you doing out here in California, Parno? What's up? Why do we get to have you naked by the end of this pod What are you doing out here in California Parno what's up Why do we get to have you here I'm writing for A show that will be on Apple's new platform
Starting point is 00:08:53 The yet to be named If you guys want to name it feel free How about Scrapple That's great Scrapple Banana we're doing it Such good ideas Why did you get to design that's great Scrabble banana we're doing it such good ideas why do you get to design that's weird
Starting point is 00:09:09 I'm just gonna relay it back to HQ what is the show it's a workplace comedy about a video game company oh I know those yeah you know you know those
Starting point is 00:09:23 you know I keep my tabs on all video game shit. Video games, deadline, you got to know everything. But that's why I'm here. Awesome. Oh, applause for that. Yes, thank you. I mean, Apple needs to have their hands in more stuff.
Starting point is 00:09:44 Demi Adige eBay is here, everybody. Hi. What's going on with you, man? Oh, not much. What's this treat you're eating over there? I'm eating peach rings, gummy peach rings. But they are shaped like donuts, too. Yeah, I'm not tossing these.
Starting point is 00:10:02 These are for me. What? You really just brought a snack? I went to 7-Eleven to get a thing and then, yeah, while I was there
Starting point is 00:10:10 I also got a snack. Can I say something? I love peach rings. These are not good. Oh yeah, no. These 7-Eleven ones that don't taste like peach. Yeah, and here I got
Starting point is 00:10:19 two of them that are inseparable. Like, it's eat both or fuck off. They really will not come apart. One's the Oscar, one's the... I'm afraid. I'm putting it in the prize bag.
Starting point is 00:10:33 Someone else is going to eat that. All the prizes stick together. Yeah. What are you doing? What are you up to besides snacking? It's mostly snacking. I'm working on the Late Late Show, writing my weird musical bits for them.
Starting point is 00:10:47 And then also doing... Thank you. Also doing Punch Up the Jam, my musical podcast, where we take hit songs and then rewrite them to be bad joke songs. Thank you. What was the last song you did? We did Kokomo today. Oh. Oh, current.
Starting point is 00:11:07 Shitty enough. We want to make it as modern as possible. Someone's going to bring down Kokomo, finally. Next week is Cotton Eye Joe. My daughter did Burning Down the House parody on the way to California. Your daughter's more hip than I am.
Starting point is 00:11:24 And what was the gist of it? Pooping on the house parody on the way to California. Your daughter's more hip than I am. Yeah. And what was the gist of it? Pooping on the house. So she's on top of a house? Who's not laughing is my question. What's your problem, asshole? Pooping on the house? That's hilarious. Imagine that.
Starting point is 00:11:40 That's Matt Besser, everybody. Hey! What's your new thing that you're doing? Trying to get on a Parnas show, this video game show. Right? Yeah. I think we all want to be on that. But what's...
Starting point is 00:11:56 No, I got a new podcast out on Citra Premium called My Dead Wife, The Robot Car. My Dead Wife played by Mary Holland. It's a 10-part series. It's about a... Who plays Wife played by Mary Holland. It's a 10 part series. It's about a Who plays the robot car? Mary Holland. She plays all the things?
Starting point is 00:12:11 She's my dead wife the robot car. Oh shit I'm stupid. She dies and becomes a robot car? Yeah yeah yeah. Or were you married to a robot car
Starting point is 00:12:21 that then dies? No no the first one. I was really excited about a show that had a dead wife and a robot car. I got to get home to my wife. I don't want her to know about the robot car. You could watch Minority Report.
Starting point is 00:12:34 That has those. Dead wives. And robot cars. And robot cars. So that's on Stitcher Preemies. Yeah. Stitcher Preemies. That's awful. Let's stitch uper Preemie. And I think you... That's awful.
Starting point is 00:12:46 I think you... Let's Stitch Up the Preemie. Stitching up the preemie. Hilarious. And that's Kumail Nanjiani, everybody. Thank you. everybody who did a stage reading
Starting point is 00:13:08 last night for charity all the money went to cancer you gotta put money into it to keep that
Starting point is 00:13:17 going and I thought it was a weird cause let's raise some money for cancer
Starting point is 00:13:23 and but you did with a lot of interesting array of people you did a reading of james l brooks screenplay for terms of endearment yeah and uh i mean i almost went to it i had tickets but i didn't end up getting to go but uh my the thing i was most excited about is calista flockhart was one of the people reading the script. And so I thought, well, Harrison Ford's going to be there. Two earrings looking like he doesn't want to be there. And when I saw pictures today on the internet that that did happen.
Starting point is 00:13:56 Yep, he was there. It was great. I talked to Harrison Ford last night. Y'all ain't shit. I just want to meet him because I want to tell him that Star Wars movies suck from now on because he's no longer going to be in them. He is always my favorite character. We don't know that. Oh, great point.
Starting point is 00:14:14 What do you mean? What's he going to do? He's dead. Ghost memory. You're asking me to write the Star Wars movies? But also, I think Harrison Ford would be hard to get him out of bed to be in yet another Star Wars movie. I think he, like, around Empire, I think
Starting point is 00:14:30 he was begging Lucas to just kill him off. Yeah. Like, just let him die. I mean, he does not like having a job. He likes to fly planes. Poorly. Yes. Golf courses. No, yeah, he likes to fly planes, but landing them is another deal altogether.
Starting point is 00:14:45 That's the easiest way to get out of doing more jobs. Wow, that's some real peach ring wisdom right there. Man, you tore through those. Yep. I opened the bag as I came out here. Okay, so it's a stage reading. So everybody sits like this with the scripts on little stands and they read it but you like rehearse a little bit you were saying yeah we did a pretty long rehearsal and but it's also extremely dramatic yeah i know everybody was
Starting point is 00:15:18 crying yeah and uh but the scene where shirley mclean in the movie is screaming about give her the drugs give my daughter the drugs. Yeah. Did Calista Flockhart get that nuts reading that scene? Yeah, it was very heartbreaking. Calista Flockhart was very, very good. And it was great because that movie is so, if you haven't seen Terms of Endearment, people remember it as like this very sad movie, which it is. But it's also very funny.
Starting point is 00:15:45 It's got great lines in it. So it was like for the first half, it was killing it. And then the second half, everyone was crying. It's perfect. Okay, now I'm glad I didn't go. I didn't want to meet Harrison Ford with my makeup all runny. James L. Brooks was there. That was very exciting.
Starting point is 00:16:01 Yeah, that's super neat. All right, well, congratulations on that. And we really helped Cancer out, too, so. Yeah, just, you know, keep it going. About time. They almost got rid of that thing. Wow. Cancer? Yeah. Not anymore, thanks to Camille.
Starting point is 00:16:18 I heard, I'm not going to say who the source was, but I heard the reason there's still Cancer is because of the Dems. So. For a second, who the source was, but I heard the reason there's still cancer is because of the Dems. So... For a second, I thought that was your nickname for me, and I was like,
Starting point is 00:16:30 what did I do? The Dems. It could be your new nickname. What do you want? I can't believe... Anyway. Let's discuss the prize bag. What do you have
Starting point is 00:16:40 for the bag tonight, Matt Besser? Well, I don't have anything for my project, so I'll have some old stuff. So I got my Besser Breaks the Record stand-up album available on Amazon as well
Starting point is 00:16:51 and my Freak Dance movie with the Matt Besser baseball card signed in it. Nobody has that. Pass it down. Slide it down the bar like a western. Demi? I brought a bag of Flaming Hot Cheetos.
Starting point is 00:17:14 And then a t-shirt that says September 21st on it. Which is part of a thing. Every year on September 21st, I release a video of me dancing to September by Earth, Wind & Fire, and it's some weird choreography to it. And this year, I sold shirts for charity, for RAINN, Races, and the National Center for Transgender Equality.
Starting point is 00:17:36 And here's one of those shirts. Gratis, without having to help charity. And then I have four copies of The Woman in Black, Angel of Death. Oh my gosh. Wait, why? What? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:17:51 Oh, wait, they're different formats? Yeah, I have two DVDs, two Blu-ray. The Woman in Black 2, Angel of Death. It's the first one, it's got Harry Potter in it. Yes, the second one has no one. It says starring no one. Yeah. Wait, it has the guy
Starting point is 00:18:07 Daniel Radcliffe or actually Harry Potter. No spoilers. That's such a muggle question. I know. I outed myself. Yeah, you fucking squib. Wow. Isn't that what it's called? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:18:24 That sounded harsh. Damn squids. Isn't that what it's called? I don't know. That sounded harsh. Damn squids. Squibs. Isn't that what it is? The term for someone who's non-magical, magical person? Are squibs like the Dems of Harry Potter? Yeah. What do you have for us, the partner?
Starting point is 00:18:39 I forgot about the prize back until I got it. Oh, shit. I'm sorry I didn't remind you. No, it's okay, but I found some Roundup candy. What? You're right to not be impressed. It's open. No.
Starting point is 00:18:53 There's candy missing from it. Nope. It's very light. You know this is a podcast, and there's no way for me to defend myself to the people at home. It really is like half full of these things. It's like half full.
Starting point is 00:19:07 Well. Somebody just wandered into the store. Oh, there's some chewing gum inside it. Doug, that was actually for you. Is it gum? I don't know. I've never had random candy. I think it's just,
Starting point is 00:19:19 you just buy it. I love these ingredients. Dextrose, cornstarch, corn syrup, tapioca. All my favorite candy is tapioioca. It's all... All my favorite candy is tapioca flavored. It's from the old times. Are you... Nice.
Starting point is 00:19:32 Nice. Nice. Are you getting a nice buzz? Won't fucking light. Won't light. You cigarettes are bullshit. And for all you film fiends, I got this week's Entertainment Weekly.
Starting point is 00:19:48 Ooh, yeah, with long hair Jamie Lee Curtis on there. She was at Fantastic Fest. American Cinematographer Magazine. Oh, that's nice. That is right on topic. Oh, 2013. Mm-hmm. I'm very current with my prizes
Starting point is 00:20:06 I love American Cinematography You can read stuff like I decided to point the camera in the direction of the actors I turned the light on And then hit record Are you flipping through the ZW Looking for your own image? No
Starting point is 00:20:23 I'm looking to see if there's a review of Halloween in there because Halloween's on the cover. Oh, maybe not, though, because they want, you know... They're reviewing
Starting point is 00:20:31 Holidays, the movie? Oh, this is my favorite one. Yom Kippur, one star. Really boring. Jesus didn't come back. This Easter gets two stars. Hard to understand. Alright, cool. What do you got,
Starting point is 00:20:52 Camille? I got two things. You brought a bag. Can we keep the bag? I brought a Blu-ray DVD of our movie, The Big Same. And a poster signed by me, and I tracked down the co-writer of it, and she got to sign it too, so...
Starting point is 00:21:14 Who co-wrote that with you? My wife! Just one copy, huh? Just one copy, huh? It's only on one format, so whoever wins tonight might be watching Lady and Dead 2. Lady and Dead?
Starting point is 00:21:35 Lady and Dead. Lady and Dead. Did your daughter do that parody? Is pooping tonight. Cheek to cheek. Okay, that works, that works. Yeah, sometimes they write themselves. Okay, so I got a quick question for each of you
Starting point is 00:22:01 before we get to the game portion. Matt, why is there a letter in front of you? A postage letter. This, oddly enough, that baseball card, we're giving away. That was made like five years ago by Topps Baseball. I still get almost weekly letters from collectors. I'm just opening this now. Some pretend to be a fan
Starting point is 00:22:29 of mine. Some think I'm a baseball player. Well, they just want to complete their collection? Yeah. Oh, wow. So they'll ask me to autograph it and return it to them. But let's see what this person says. Thank you, Mr. Besser. Thank you for your time. I would greatly appreciate it if you would sign your card for me.
Starting point is 00:22:46 I just found out that there were baseball cards of some of my favorite comedians. Oh, this guy actually researched it. You've done a really cool thing with the UCB. So this guy actually... Oh, he Googled and found... Well, sometimes they do, and it'll be like the last thing I did
Starting point is 00:23:02 that I had like a line on. So I love your work and fresh off the boat you know I was in the background hey everybody I'm white I'm not off the boat someone went
Starting point is 00:23:18 oh I love the bulletin board here at UCB in the office because you walk by it and glance at it, and you get lots of fan mail for anybody that performs here any time. And a lot of times it is the return address stamped envelope thing, like, just send me your autograph. But there's also many Donald Glovers back there, like a hundred. And he's never going to come by.
Starting point is 00:23:42 People would never show up. Camille, have you ever gotten your mail off of the wall back there? I have not looked. You should check. I don't think people associate me with the UCB necessarily. Yeah, that's true, I guess.
Starting point is 00:23:55 That's what I'm going to tell myself. You probably have lots of stuff on the bulletin board at the closed comic book store. Aww! How dare you? Oh, he's crying. Too soon.
Starting point is 00:24:10 Don't melt down on me. We did used to We did used to get stuff at the meltdown back when I was alive. That makes sense. Matt, you waste a lot of time with that letter, so let's go to Demi
Starting point is 00:24:25 no Matt Matt why is it just sitting there on the table I would lose it otherwise I'm gonna leave it in the green room what was the last movie
Starting point is 00:24:38 you saw I never get out to the movies but I do watch the Netflix movies sometimes I enjoy the sci-fi movies they make on the Netflix. Which one did I see?
Starting point is 00:24:51 Extinction, I think one of them was called. Anybody see that? What happens in it? Do you want to know? Yeah. Hence the question. Well, give me the categories. Is it monsters, boogans, aliens?
Starting point is 00:25:04 It's post-apocalyptic, you think. It has a very Philip K. Dick kind of twisty. I like any movie where at some point one of the characters realizes that they're a robot and they look down at their own intestines. They're like, oh, fuck. I'm a robot. This explains why I'm never hungry.
Starting point is 00:25:24 That's why I haven't pissed in 50 years. This is why I'm not participating in this pooping I hear so much about. I've got a house, but I can't poop on it. But you give a thumbs up to this Extinction movie? It's not the best. I enjoyed it, though. Other movies you watch, you're like, that would have been really good if it was Like an hour
Starting point is 00:25:45 Like a TV show? Like a Black Mirror episode That's why That's why I always think Those are perfect Lengths for you Yeah Okay
Starting point is 00:25:53 Have you guys Has anyone here Seen that movie? No we established That once already I thought there'd be One person That's right
Starting point is 00:26:03 That's all I got Okay Before I Fall. Have you guys seen that one? Where the girl keeps dying. She keeps dying? She keeps dying. It's like Groundhog Day. Who is that? Chloe Grace Moretz?
Starting point is 00:26:16 No, Happy Death Day? Is that what you're talking about? Am I? Is it called Before I Fall? Yeah. Chloe Grace Moretz? Is that who was in it? No. No, you're thinking of If I Stay.
Starting point is 00:26:29 If I Stay. Shit. Those are similar titles. Before I Fall and If I Stay are two very different titles. I don't know, man. They're both three words. Those two, lump them in with the big sick, they all sound the same to me. It's just three words that don't mean anything.
Starting point is 00:26:49 So, uh... I knew someone who was disappointed that there was illness in the big sick. We had so many clues. If you got to the third word of the title, you knew what was up. I was sold at the. I didn't need the rest of it.
Starting point is 00:27:09 Definite article. I'm into this. Do you feel, though, Kumail, now that some time's gone by, that I have a theory about The Big Sick, and that's that it is a hilarious comedy in the movie theater, and then just watching it on a device, it's just sad. It's just
Starting point is 00:27:25 a drama. Does that make sense? Yeah, I know what you're saying. I really hate it. No, it's... But you know what I mean? The dramatic aspect of it is heightened because you're not laughing the whole time. Because there are jokes that are hilarious when you're sitting with people. When you're by
Starting point is 00:27:43 yourself, it's still people joking around in a hospital. There are some things that were like that got huge laughs in the theater and then when I saw it with like a smaller crowd got like a very different emotional reaction. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I think it works either way. I didn't want to be insulting.
Starting point is 00:28:01 The atmosphere is tense. Doug has one fucking candy cigarette inside of him. I get so crazy on those that I can't control my comments. Were we still on Demi? Did we still have a cut to Demi yet? Oh, I thought we were talking about Before I Fall. What was your last movie or fan letter?
Starting point is 00:28:26 I saw First Man. You saw First Man? Yeah. It was good. It's not like... Did someone just say eh? Okay. I'm over space movies, especially ones that are based on
Starting point is 00:28:41 real stories because we know this Ryan Gosling character lives because he's been in other movies you think he lives but has he been in any movies after that no that's a good point maybe he died in this one maybe that's the last Ryan Gosling movie does he ever does he ever do one of these in it? Does he ever go... Like a... Nice guys? Nice guys and La La Land. He does like jump takes. Oh, you're right.
Starting point is 00:29:09 It should be when he sees the moon. Oh, it's right there. He doesn't. Oh, moon. So much bigger than I've seen it before. I thought it was going to be this big. First man. But what's the name of the astronaut?
Starting point is 00:29:26 Do you know that it's about... Neil Armstrong? Yeah. What? Because you just said he might not live, and he lived. It's Seb from La La Land. It's a continuation of that story. Yeah, he's going to open up a tapas and jazz place on the moon.
Starting point is 00:29:42 It's about Louis Armstrong. I thought it was about Louis Armstrong. I thought it was about Lance Armstrong. Why did that not work? The other Armstrongs work? But Lance Armstrong? Because Louis did jazz. I just got here.
Starting point is 00:29:56 Stretch Armstrong. Stretch Armstrong. I just got here. Were you guys talking about that? Hey, remember when... Oh, his family was killed by Stretch Armstrong. So that guy is out got here. Were you guys talking about that? Hey, remember when... Oh, his family was killed by Stretch Armstrong. That guy is out of here. Yeah, it was weird.
Starting point is 00:30:11 Of all the things. Of all the things. So you thought it was fine. I thought it was good, but I do... So it's like very boring half of the time, and then the other half is just insanely tense action sequences, so it's weird to be on the edge of my seat and then just be like, oh, I don't give a fuck
Starting point is 00:30:31 about what they're saying right now, and then, oh, it's happening again. Oh, it's not like slow and then tense. It's like back and forth, back and forth. But it's like beautiful shot. Who are they shooting at in the movie? Who are they shooting at? Yeah. What do you mean shooting at? I was kidding. You mean who are the cameras shooting at? Yeah. What do you mean shooting at? I was kidding. You mean who are the cameras shooting at?
Starting point is 00:30:48 Shooting the moon? What is, what were you, what was your joke? They're shooting the moon. Was it a callback to the American movie? Oh, no,
Starting point is 00:30:56 just the going to, like, any flight sequence in the movie or, like, any time they have to do anything. Fighting aliens, I guess. Yes.
Starting point is 00:31:02 It's a lot like Extinction. Cool. He looks down, he's like, oh, shit, I'm Neil Armstrong. I get it. And then the soundtrack's like, tsh, tsh, tsh, tsh, tsh.
Starting point is 00:31:12 Scooby-dooby-dooby-da-da-da, going to the moon. You know the words. You know the words. I've listened to the soundtrack a couple of times. But that's interesting. Damien Chazelle did La La Land
Starting point is 00:31:23 and then was like, now I'm going gonna do a movie about going to space seems like he's talented enough to conquer anything he's done music movies in a row
Starting point is 00:31:31 he did three before that was Whiplash and then before that was the Grand Piano is that what it's called he wrote that yeah but he also made a movie Guy and Madeline
Starting point is 00:31:38 on Park Bench that was another jazz musical hmm man loves jazz alright and going to the moon and going the two things that he loves. I heard Gosling gives a low-key but good performance.
Starting point is 00:31:50 Yeah. So, Oscar-worthy? No. Alright, I'll tell them to suspend their campaign. Might as well. I've declared it. Claire Ford is good. Alright. Parna, what was the last movie you saw?
Starting point is 00:32:06 I saw A Simple Favor. Okay, with Anna Kendrick and Blake Lively. I mean, that is the last movie I saw in a theater. I make a small appearance in it. That's why Demi gasped. What happens in your scene? I mean, it's about a bunch of kind of rich moms, so I'm just one of the other moms
Starting point is 00:32:29 who's always worried about what's happening. Like, what's one of your lines? Oh. And this is a normal movie? Yeah. Not like... It's like a campy thriller. That was my line in Fresh Off the Boat.
Starting point is 00:32:53 Loved your work in that. Signed this card. All right, Camille. It's up to you. Bring it home. I saw two recently. I'll name them both. I saw A Star is Born, the new A Star is Born. I saw two recently. I'll name them both. I saw A Star is Born,
Starting point is 00:33:05 the new one, A Star is Born. Oh, a scoop. Well, First Man's a scoop. That's not even coming out for a while. A Star is Born. Extinction.
Starting point is 00:33:15 No one's seen it. It's a huge scoop. I'm just excited about A Star is Born because, you know, some of the characters could die in it. Neil Armstrong's
Starting point is 00:33:25 not going to die. No. Not in a timely manner. And then... Oh, you want to say what you thought of it first or you want to... Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:35 What was the second movie? Give us the second movie. I saw Mandy. Okay. All right. Mandy and Starsborn. Yeah. Very similar.
Starting point is 00:33:43 Head to head in brackets. Which one wins? Very similar vibes. Yeah. Very similar. Head to head in brackets. Which one wins? Very similar vibes. Yeah. You can't compare them because, you know, when you... I cried in A Star Is Born. Mandy's like if Nicolas Cage was a movie. Like the whole movie is Nicolas Cage.
Starting point is 00:34:01 I don't know how they got everyone to act like... I think they were like, hey, what that guy's doing? Everybody do that. Everybody's Nicolas Cage in it. It's great. I saw at Fantastic Fest, I saw Between Worlds, which is another new Nicolas Cage movie. Did you like that?
Starting point is 00:34:17 And he is hilarious in it, and the rest of the movie doesn't feel like they know that this is a Nicolas Cage movie. It's like the opposite of Mandy. Did you see Mandy? Everyone's just kind of running around Nicolas Cage being a nut, and he's very funny in it.
Starting point is 00:34:30 And everyone's being a normal human being. Hilarious. Or, you know, some bad acting too, I guess. Did you see Mandy? Nuh-uh. Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:39 But she came and she gave without taking. She pooped without eating. I'm just going to pitch to your daughter now. Okay. Work on it. I'm going to be a ghostwriter for her. Turn it off, Bert. Let the games begin.
Starting point is 00:34:59 We got name tags. And a Funko Pop doll. A couple of them. A couple of them. A couple of people brought those randomly. But, oh, Camille's not even going to get up out of his seat. He just got his Dinesh doll. But everybody else, please go select a name tag that you'd like to play
Starting point is 00:35:17 on behalf of, and while you do that, we'll do this. How did they know that I was going to be here? I did say we were going to have an Oscar nominee here. Okay. I said an Oscar-losing individual is going to be here. Oh, yeah. So anyway, we're going to break.
Starting point is 00:35:38 We'll be right back. Today's show is brought to you in part by Espresso Monster. When you need an extra burst of energy but don't have time to wait in line, grab Espresso Monster. Espresso Monster is a premium blend of smooth espresso and cream packaged in an 8.4 ounce can. It's just the right size and perfect for when you're on the go. Each can has three shots of espresso blended with European milk, just the way the Italians do it. At 150-160 mg of caffeine per can, it's sure to give you the energy you need to conquer the day. Espresso Monster has two delicious flavors to choose from,
Starting point is 00:36:19 Espresso and Cream and Vanilla Espresso. Produced in Denmark and the Netherlands, Espresso Monster is made with freshly brewed espresso coffee, hormone-free milk, and a unique energy blend that's complete with taurine and B vitamins. They sent a few cases to DLM HQ and they did not stick around for very long. Everyone seems to enjoy the taste and subsequent energy boost. Close your eyes, take a sip, and enjoy Espresso Monster today. Today's show is also brought to you in part by DC Universe. Do you like DC? Love DC? Or are you what some people might call obsessed with DC? Then you need to get DC Universe. It's the only place you can watch the all-new live-action Titans, which premieres this fall.
Starting point is 00:37:07 Not to mention Young Justice, Outsiders, Doom Patrol, Swamp Thing, Stargirl, and Harley Quinn, which will be coming your way in 2019. New episodes come out every week, which means you'll always have something to look forward to. DC Universe has features that you just have to see for yourself, like a world-class comic reader that even works on your big screen TV. A thoughtfully curated, regularly refreshed library of 2,500 modern and classic titles. A members-only store full of exclusive merchandise and discussion forums filled with fans and
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Starting point is 00:38:10 We're back! Matt, what do you have down there? What are you playing around with? I'm not really sure. It says Apple Watch. Maybe you know what this is. That's our new TV show. Oh my god, there's no show. You can put our new TV show. It's a new Apple Watch.
Starting point is 00:38:25 Oh, my God. There's no show. You can put it on your wrist. It says Apple Watch, and it says, I, Aaron. What is this, brother? I think it's the new watch. All right. I don't think that's an Apple Watch.
Starting point is 00:38:37 That's a Fitbit. That is not an Apple Watch. It's a Fitbit. Yeah, that's a Fitbit on a good day. That's no Apple. Have you ever seen a watch before, Matt? Are you trying to figure out how it goes on your wrist? Hey, man.
Starting point is 00:38:59 10-12. I don't think it's a watch. I think it's a pair of sunglasses. I think it says what it is on the end of the box there. No, it says watch. No, it says Apple Watch. It does say Apple Watch. It says sport band.
Starting point is 00:39:13 But it's also open. But it says sport band. It has candy cigarettes. Aaron's up to some shit. But that's who you're playing for is Aaron. Yeah. Okay. What do you have, Demi?
Starting point is 00:39:23 Well, it looks like I, Aaron, but it also looks like Aaron with the Spanish exclamation mark before it yeah I know iPhone yeah I will come back to this I don't know what you're talking about iPad Give me one more example iWatch I'm playing for Steel Magnolias Which I chose because It's a pun that doesn't work on an audio format It's Steel Magno-Lias Leah
Starting point is 00:40:02 Somebody's name is Leas? Just Leah. Yeah, good job, Leah. She's singular. She's just the one person. Parna picked one of my favorite ones that was out there tonight. It's pretty great.
Starting point is 00:40:18 It's like a... It says Mark and... Yeah. It's like a Frankenstein holding a bong. I'm sorry, it's Mike Myers holding a bong. It says Halloween. I'm so sorry. It says Halloween.
Starting point is 00:40:35 Great job, Mark. I really like the way that arm actually moves. Oh, don't read it. Oh, right. It's a good shithead, though. And the bong goes up to his nose. That seems like what Michael Myers would do is just fucking put it on his nose
Starting point is 00:40:49 and just fucking, like, Dennis Hopper. Yeah, the arm length doesn't quite work, Mark. Have you been using a bong like this? Mark's over there somewhere in the dark. I'm over here. He was sitting somewhere by himself. I'm shocked to part? Mark's over there somewhere. I'm over here. He was sitting somewhere by himself. I'm shocked to part I even went over there. He's got a bong attached to his nose.
Starting point is 00:41:11 All right, so you have the Dinesh doll from Silicon Valley. It's a really minimum effort. What else did they do? He just put Justin on there. Yeah, he cut a piece of paper and put Justin on it. There, he cut a piece of paper and put Justin on it. There's no pun.
Starting point is 00:41:26 I regret it. Do you already own one of these of yourself? Yeah. Okay, so you don't need to hang on to it. No, I've got a few of them. You're going to get that back, Justin.
Starting point is 00:41:37 And maybe all the prizes in this bag. Yeah, possibly. You're going to get four copies of Robin and Black. You guys sound like the aliens waiting for the claw to take them away in Toy Story. All right. So this first game we're going to play tonight is called Doug Loves Musicals.
Starting point is 00:42:01 No. Yes. Sorry. Sorry. Oh, my God. He's going to. No. Yes. Sorry. Sorry. Oh, my God. He's going to... Me? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:09 I don't know shit about musicals. Oh, really? Is that true? No, I know three musicals, and I will wait to list them until the game begins. Why are you wearing a glittery top hat?
Starting point is 00:42:19 It's just... Sometimes you feel a song coming on. The man in the booth was supposed to cue anyway. Oh, no. All right. Now, I just want to know the three musicals that you know. I don't care about this game anymore.
Starting point is 00:42:35 All right. La La Land. Grease. Grease 2. That's it? Is it any of those? I feel like it's got to be at least one of those. There's no way it isn't Grease 2.
Starting point is 00:42:47 We're all thinking about it this week. No, I'm sure I've done Grease 2 in the past. Summer pooping. Had me a shit. Wait, your daughter doesn't say that. Had me a ass. Had me a ass? Yeah, that's good.
Starting point is 00:43:01 You say had me an ass like that was the most obvious. It rhymes with blast. It does. Had me a ass? Yeah, that's good. You say had me an ass like that was the most obvious. It rhymes with blast. It does. Had me a ass. Yeah. That's called a collaboration. I'm Elton John and you're Bernie Taupin. I will take that as an insult because I did not understand it.
Starting point is 00:43:25 Bernie Taupin. You don't know who that is? It's all because I did not understand it. Bernie Toppin. You don't know who that is? No, never heard of Bernie Toppin. He wrote Grease 2. Cool. He's Elton John's lyricist. To this day? No, he quit yesterday.
Starting point is 00:43:43 He's like, I've had enough. More like Bernie Poopin. No, he quit yesterday. He's like, I've had enough. More like Bernie Poopin'. Ah, Dinesh Dahl. Ah, Bernie Poopin'. I'll name songs from a movie musical. And first person, just guess as often as you like. We've narrowed it down to it's not
Starting point is 00:44:07 La La Land, Grease or Grease 2. Okay. There's no turns? We just keep going? You just guess as often as you like. We don't got to
Starting point is 00:44:13 name songs? No. You just jump in when you think you know. Chicago. See, it's always pre-guesses are always fun. There's only so many musicals
Starting point is 00:44:23 so you might nail it. There's so many musicals. So you might nail it. There's so many musicals. Oh, I was just naming a city I've seen musicals in. You'd be surprised. You go to the Wikipedia page and it's not that long a read. Really?
Starting point is 00:44:34 Yeah, because most studios don't make musicals anymore. Right, that is true. You know, so La La Land's like, that was the musical that year. Yeah. Chicago was the musical in its year, you know, like...
Starting point is 00:44:44 Grease, Grease 2. That's what's so funny about the Golden Globes having a musical or comedy category is any shitty ass musical that was made gets nominated in that category because why is the category called that? High school musical.
Starting point is 00:44:58 Yes, I think that won all the Golden Globes that year. And I've done that one in this game before because of course no one's going to recognize the songs from that uh throw me the ball you know like that all right so um oh yeah cafeteria jig so many clues finals week wait a minute is it a throw me the ball very similar to a chorus line song? Oh yeah, that's true. Give me the ball, give me the ball, give me the ball, yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:28 That's the one. Is that the Red Hot Chili Peppers? That was Red Hot Chili Peppers. Thank you. Wow. Give me the ball, give me the ball. Take it away, take it away, take it away now. All right, so.
Starting point is 00:45:43 Pass the ball. Dribble it now. What I got you, gotta give it to the center. Oh, it's basketball. Okay. Holy shit. That should be the game.
Starting point is 00:46:03 We sing a song. Kumail guesses the sport. Go for it. Go for it. We sing a song. Kumail guesses the sport. Go for it. Go for it. We're playing basket. Football. So close. Which movie musical features the songs Waiting for My Deary,
Starting point is 00:46:23 I'll Go Home with Bonnie Jean. Holy shit. The Heather on the Hill. This is old school. Oh, is it? Heather on the Hill. Burlesque. Almost like being in love.
Starting point is 00:46:39 Carousel. White Christmas? No. No. I'm just listing musicals. I know. Showboat. West Side Story.
Starting point is 00:46:51 Star Wars. They're doing a new... Spielberg's going to direct a West Side Story movie. With Ansel Elgort. Go, baby. Have you done your show? Guys and Dolls. These are great guesses.
Starting point is 00:47:02 Yeah, you guys are naming all the musicals. Grease. Grease 2 The Wedding Dance The Wedding Singer Half a Sixpence Half a Sixpence Stop the World I Want to Get Off Mary Poppins
Starting point is 00:47:20 I would know Mary Poppins The Chase That's the name of this? Yep that's the name of a song I wouldn't know Mary Poppins. The Chase. That's the name of this? Yep. That's the name of a song. Oh, it's not the name of the musical. No, I'm not giving you the answer yet. Are you kidding me?
Starting point is 00:47:32 I got 50 more songs to sing. No, there's only one more song. There's only one more song? A whole musical? It opens, it's at the beginning of the musical, and it's at the end of the musical. Oh, God. I mean, a lot of these guesses, It's at the beginning of the musical and it's at the end of the musical. Oklahoma. Oklahoma.
Starting point is 00:47:47 I mean, a lot of these guesses I guess you could say have been close. But this last... You can't even give us the auteurs? No, I'm going to give you the answer. Okay, here we go. And I'm going to yell it. Because I'm about to say what the...
Starting point is 00:48:03 What is the name of the song? Because the song is also the title. Yeah, we get it. Yeah. Because I'm about to say what the... What is the name of the song? Because the song is also the title. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We get it. We got it. Keep going. We understand. There we go.
Starting point is 00:48:12 I got to be able to see everybody. Okay. See which one of you answers the quickest. Brigadoon. Brigadoon. Brigadoon. Brigadoon. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:48:23 Did you get it? Yeah. Yeah. You're Brigadoon, son. There's not a song about luck or something in there? You're thinking of Luck of the Irish kind of thing? He didn't say that he would name all the songs. No, just some. I didn't miss too many of them.
Starting point is 00:48:39 I couldn't tell you Brigadoon if you put a gun to my head. I have no idea what that shit's about. Yeah, I didn't even know that was a musical. It's like a... It's a magical land. It's Gene Kelly and he wakes up and he's in a new land where he's getting laid and then they're like get out of Brigadoon.
Starting point is 00:48:56 Get the fuck out of Brigadoon. He's like, but I want to stay. And it's the whole thing about whether or not he can stay in this fantasy world. It's a magical land? Sounds like a rip off of Space Jam to me. It is so Space Jam. It's just not even right. Basketball Jones. That's a song from
Starting point is 00:49:11 Basketball. That's right. Wait, what do you think Basketball Jones is a song from? It's a song from Space Jam. It is? Yeah. The Cheech and Chong song Basketball Jones? They sampled that for a song with Barry White. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:49:27 Is it, who sings it? Is it? I think Barry White. No, but somebody else is also on it. Basketball Jones. It's like Chris Rock
Starting point is 00:49:36 is on it? Oh, yeah, he is. Yeah. Great singer. Well. He is on it, though. he's no Eddie Murphy but or Bruce Willis alright you guys
Starting point is 00:49:53 it's time to play last man standing now this game is going to determine our winner tonight and I'm going to determine our winner tonight. And I'm going to get a name from an audience member who's assured me that this name might be good. And via Twitter.
Starting point is 00:50:15 And then we're going to take turns naming movies that person was in. Demi won the first game, so he's going to go first. And then we'll go to Aparna and Kumail and me. I like to play along because I don't know yet who the actor's going to be first. And then we'll go to Aparna and Kumail and me. I like to play along because I don't know yet who the actor's going to be. Or actress! And then... I just want to remind people because they
Starting point is 00:50:33 rarely pick an actress. And then Matt Pester's going to go last. Where's the Kyle Fisher? Here. Turn up your enthusiasm knob. Right here Yeah Great job
Starting point is 00:50:50 Right here I want to see a third one Where's the Kyle Fisher? I'm here Oh He did a thing with his arms A light came on him And everything
Starting point is 00:50:59 Yeah We don't need to see him Whoever turned the lights on Alright Kyle What do you do for a living Kyle? Yeah, we don't need to see him, whoever turned the lights on. All right, Kyle, what do you do for a living, Kyle? I work at a toy store. Brother, toy store? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:13 Where? Tom's Toy Store. What is it? Beverly and Beverly Hills. What you guys got? You got any cream in it? Yeah. Hey, you guys got any cream in it? Yeah. Hey, you guys,
Starting point is 00:51:29 you toys got any cream in them? Do they want some? What kind of toys? Is there any particular kind of toys? No, it's pretty much everything. Dildos? Is it like new toys, old toys, kids' toys? Yeah, kids' toys. They do a lot of board games, stuff like that.
Starting point is 00:51:47 All kinds of stuff. See, there's two different kinds of toy shops. That's right. There's kind that have like the old school kind of wooden toys, kind of, you know, vintage stuff. And then there's the stuff with the new, you know, fucking Paw Patrol, whatever the cartoon is. Yeah, but then there's also that are also action figures that people like to collect. Yeah, so not much that. Just like kids' toy stores.
Starting point is 00:52:08 Okay. Mostly for kids. A Mr. Gregorium type deal. Ah! Yeah, is your toy store magical? I can't say that. Is there a magical door? Portal.
Starting point is 00:52:24 Is Tom alive? I honestly have no idea. You have no idea? You should be able to answer that. It's Tom's toy store. It's like going into Disneyland. Hey, anybody know anything about Walt? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:36 Does Tom's last name... No, never heard of him. Is your boss named Tom? No. Thomas. Thomas. Tommy. The Tom? No. Thomas. Thomas. Tommy. The Tank.
Starting point is 00:52:48 No. Thomas the Tank. Does his last name happen to rhyme with Wonder Emporium? Okay. Just making sure. If I came in today with my five-year-old daughter and said, What do you have to recommend, my good man? What would you say?
Starting point is 00:53:03 Get out, you weirdo. I know Tom. Why are you talking like that? First of all, where did you find this girl? Why is she thinking about poop constantly? She's got the biggest YouTube channel in the world. She's spending her money today. You guys got any Paw Patrol type stuff?
Starting point is 00:53:27 Paw Patrol, dude. Paw Patrol. Paw Patrol, motherfucker. You got a toy store? You don't know what fucking Paw Patrol is? Fucking don't lie to us. You don't work there, do you? Five dogs to solve mysteries?
Starting point is 00:53:40 Yeah, dude. Paw Patrol. They're like cops or detectives or some shit. Maybe one's a fireman. Paw Patrol, dude. Paw Patrol. They have a little boy on a motorcycle that's their leader. They're like cops or detectives or some shit. Maybe one's a fireman. Paw Patrol, dude. I feel like he took a break and was like, I'm going to make up a fun job. And then we all just roasted it. We're like, okay, let's prove that this is your job. And he's regretting this choice.
Starting point is 00:53:57 Yeah, I still don't think he works at a toy store. You've never heard of Paw Patrol? Name one toy. Oh, shit. Name a toy. Name one toy. Oh, shit. Name a toy. Name one toy. So tough to do.
Starting point is 00:54:09 I said recommend a toy for my daughter. Just any toy in this fucking store. Literally just say Lego. Say something, dude. Here, I got it. You should say, I'm on a break. I'm trying to enjoy a cigarette. Wait, did you say a
Starting point is 00:54:27 Dinesh bar? You're just saying stuff you're looking at. Chairs. A Snapple. What toy do I recommend? Matt Besser's daughter. Apple Watch. Box. Back of a comedy nerd head.
Starting point is 00:54:49 Dude! Name one toy to sell there. Okay. Okay. Here we go. This is exciting. Don't say Apple Watch. I start on Thursday.
Starting point is 00:54:57 Oh! We sussed him out! He's got no idea. He's going to start naming toys on Thursday. You need to research, motherfucker. This was your interview and you just fucking failed. Name one toy. Name who Thomas is.
Starting point is 00:55:17 You could have said anything, dude. I knew it. When that motherfucker said he didn't hear Paw Patrol, I knew he when the when the motherfucker said he didn't hear Paw Patrol I knew he was lying if I walked in there as a dad I'd go this is a front
Starting point is 00:55:31 for drugs or something what's going on here let's get out of here honey doesn't know who Paw Patrol is listen
Starting point is 00:55:40 I heard of Paw Patrol and I don't even work at a toy store yeah he's just a pedophile. I want to state on the record that that is not true. I hope just a pedophile doesn't cover these many things. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:00 No, I am many things. None of them is a pedophile. On the list of all the things you are, a pedophile might not be on there? No, not on there. Don't use that joke at work, by the way. If you go to work and they don't have any paw patrol, call the guy who stocks it and be like, hey, we need any Paw Patrol, call the guy who stocks it. Be like, hey, we need some Paw Patrol.
Starting point is 00:56:27 Because the kids are into it. Matt, back me up here. Oh, yeah. Kumail is really just here to plug Paw Patrol. We find out tomorrow in Deadline he's the new voice of Ryder. Of Ryder. You know the name. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:45 Kumail starts on Thursday. Who's the name. Oh, yeah. The mail starts on Thursday. Who's the current voice of Ryder? Can't tell you that. Nicholas Cage. I'm on the Paw Patrol. Where is... Where's Kyle Fisher? Let's talk to him for a minute.
Starting point is 00:57:09 So Kyle, do you have the name of an actor or actress for us to bandy about in this game tonight? Gary Oldman. Gary Oldman! Voice of a writer. Now he wrote to you in the tweet,
Starting point is 00:57:22 he's like, at first you're like, oh that's going to be tough, and then you go, oh wait, he's been you in the tweet. He's like, at first you're like, oh, that's going to be tough. And then you go, oh, wait. He's been in a lot of things that I know of. So let's give it a try. Gary Oldman. I'm excited. You guys each have one lifeline. You can go to the person whose name tag you chose once.
Starting point is 00:57:38 So, Camille, good luck with Justin. Please think of some Gary Oldman movies. Just think ahead, Justin. Please think of some Gary Oldman movies. Think ahead, Justin. Demi goes first. Can I use my phone? No. You can use the watch that someone gave you.
Starting point is 00:57:58 That you've now got on your person. Wait, it's a Gary Oldman themed watch. Was he in a movie called 1035? To Paris, yes. No, I'm starting, right?
Starting point is 00:58:11 Yeah. The Dark Knight. Okay. Aparna? The Dark Knight Rises. Oh my God. Nobody's ever said that title that way. So sweet and gentle.
Starting point is 00:58:33 Kumail? I'll say The Darkest Hour. Oh. I'll say it like you were going to say The One. He did win the Oscar for it. You were there. You watched it happen. I did?
Starting point is 00:58:45 Yeah. It's not a big deal. I wish you'd stop bringing it. You were there. You watched it happen. I did? Yeah. It's not a big deal. I wish you'd stop bringing it up all the time. I was only there because I was nominated, but I don't want to talk about it. So, yeah, we really got nominated for an Oscar. You know? I was excited to see Emily tonight. I was like, she's going to watch my show.
Starting point is 00:59:10 It's going to be fun. And then she's next door eating chicken. All right. I'm just going to get it out of the way. Batman begins. Matt? Wasn't he in Sid and Nancy? Sure was.
Starting point is 00:59:27 True Romance. Oh, yeah. Good one. Yeah. I'm going to use my lifeline. Oh, we're going to Mark. Bram Stoker's Dracula. Whoa, from the darkness even.
Starting point is 00:59:40 Bram Stoker's Dracula. Dracula. Full title and everything I like it If I'm gonna challenge that He did say Bram Stroker's Dracula Oh and he's touching himself While he said it He's Bram Stroker's Dracula
Starting point is 01:00:01 Now give us a movie title He's Bram's Dracula's Dracula. Now give us a movie title. He's Bram's Dracula Stoker. Where are we? Me. Come here. Here, I'll go to Justin. He's going to Justin. Ooh.
Starting point is 01:00:15 What the fuck? Listen to this shit. Some people call it just The Professional, but if you want to get technical, you can also call it Leon colon the professional. Oh, I don't remember that title. Yeah, yeah. They threw that in there. Yeah, because his name's Leon.
Starting point is 01:00:32 That was a bad move. But it looks good on a business card. I see you're a professional. What's your name? Oh, sorry. Leon. I'm going to put my name on the business card. I see you're a professional what's your name? oh sorry Leon should have put my name on the business card could you sign it
Starting point is 01:00:53 big fan okay so that's what you used your lifeline and that's what we came up with okay good I know Gary Oldman was the inspiration for how Homer Simpson's neighbor looks.
Starting point is 01:01:12 Ned Flanders? Ned Flanders. Looks like Gary Oldman in the Dark Knight movies. Check it out. Which came first? Check out the meme somebody's already probably done it
Starting point is 01:01:28 okay but I gotta do a different Gary Oldman so I'm gonna go with oh fuck I hope I don't fuck this up oh shit
Starting point is 01:01:37 what's that fucking movie called I can't think of it now Grease 2 yes Gary Oldman is a tough one call? I can't think of it now. Grease 2. Yes. Gary Oldman is a tough one. Oh, oh. No.
Starting point is 01:01:53 Breathing out Flanders. They're just thinking of Simpsons, season 2, episode 5. Oh, wait, no, that was Ned Flanders. Oh, Simpsons, season 3, episode 7. Oh, no, that's Ned Flanders. Oh, Simpsons, season three, episode seven. Oh no, that's Ned Flanders. He's such a chameleon,
Starting point is 01:02:10 that Gary Oldman. Yeah, I know, it's hard, because he is a chameleon. Yeah. Most of the time he's just painted yellow, wearing a green sweatshirt. This is confusing. This is confusing. He was in Prick Up Your Ears.
Starting point is 01:02:30 Yeah, you heard me. Prick Up Your Ears. That was a perfect response to Prick Up Your Ears. You heard him prick up your ears. Yeah. Why would you say what
Starting point is 01:02:40 after that? I just told you. Fucking prick him up, dude. Yeah. I think originally it was called Prick Up Your Arse, and they cleaned it up for... They rearranged the letters? Why does it say prick up your ears?
Starting point is 01:02:54 I believe it... What's that? Joe Warden. Joe Warden, the playwright. It's his story. Yeah, and it's directed by Stephen... What's his name? Stephen Frears.
Starting point is 01:03:03 Frears, yeah. It's really good. Stephen Frears's really good it's really good and your new friend Fred Molina is in it it was originally called Leon prick up your ears okay your turn alright I bet I have the fucking number wrong,
Starting point is 01:03:26 but there was this George Harrison produced, what was the film company called? Like Handmade Films or something? Yeah. Track 49, is that what it was called? I like it. Did I nail it? I'm going to take it just because it sounds legit
Starting point is 01:03:46 Debbie? Well if we're just making up movies with numbers in them The Fifth Element I'm a crowd pleaser Yeah that was great Well done I don't have another one because I don't know the name of it
Starting point is 01:04:07 but it's where he plays a very short man thank you that's the one I was thinking of don't say it is it my turn? I don't have the name I would have said short man I'm gonna say it
Starting point is 01:04:22 tiptoes it is called tiptoes The name. I would have said short name. I'm going to say it. I was on the edge of your toes. It is called Tiptoes. Yeah. Thank you, Aparna. I thought it might be called Tippy Toes. That's the sequel. That'd be offensive, dude. Okay.
Starting point is 01:04:38 Tiptoes. Isn't Matthew McConaughey in that? He sure is. He is. There's so many Oldmans that are still out there, but I can't think of another one right now. For the sake of time, we're going to go to Matt. You still got your Lifeline
Starting point is 01:04:55 airing, right? Oh, yeah. Air Force One. Oh, very good. Air Force One. What if I didn't accept that? No. You just do movies with numbers now.
Starting point is 01:05:10 Your friend Harry Ford threw him off a plane in that movie. Yeah, my friend Harry Ford. Mr. Flockhart. Demi? Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. God damn it! Why am I sitting here not saying
Starting point is 01:05:28 Harry Potter titles? Because you're a fool! Kumail? Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. He's in a flashback. Full title? Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Come on, dude.
Starting point is 01:05:43 You know better than that. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Come on, dude. You know better than that. What's the second Godfather called? Godfather 2, The Professional. You just have to say the part. Which part is it? Yeah, which one was he in?
Starting point is 01:06:02 What? There are two Deathly Hallows movies. Do you know how the Deathly Hallows movies work? Oh, yeah. Part one, dude. Are you kidding me? I thought that was obvious. It's really the best of the Deathly Hallows.
Starting point is 01:06:21 Matt? Yeah, you can't go to Aaron again Aaron saved your ass oh my god here we go the Gary Oldman story this bio film about him
Starting point is 01:06:37 he's in it? we already said Darkest Hour so you're out? did you see Darkest Hour? It's good. Very good. I think there should be a double bill of Dunkirk and The Darkest Hour.
Starting point is 01:06:52 Or even just cut them, just go back and forth between reels. Make one movie, yeah. Because they both tell the story from different angles. But I thought the talky one was more interesting than the action one, personally. Demi? With Nail and I. What? Is he? I don't think Gary Oldman is in Withnail and I.
Starting point is 01:07:11 That's also... I call bullshit on that. That's also a George Harrison. It is. It's by that same company. Handmade films. What is Gary Oldman in Withnail and I? I've never seen it. So how do you know he's in it? Because I feel like I've seen the poster and that his name is on it.
Starting point is 01:07:28 And if he's not, then I'll be out. All right, you're out. Damn it. Is no one checking this? I'm pretty sure there's no one checking it. Can I just say anything on this show? We just let it go. Oh, I have a lifeline.
Starting point is 01:07:39 Oh, shit. Too late, dude. Yeah, do you think your lifeline's got another wrong answer? Lifeline, do you have an answer? War, wait. What? Did she say Rosencrantz and Kilgister are dead? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:52 War of the Planet of the Apes? Oh, I already... He already said something else. I already said something else. Aw. Aw. I'm sorry. Command?
Starting point is 01:08:01 War for the Planet of the Apes. Ooh. What? That's a fair move. Thank you, Demi. You're welcome. Back to you, Demi. Oh, fuck. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix?
Starting point is 01:08:16 Why not? Seriously. These Harry Potter films got some fans out in this audience. Yeah. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 I don't know, is he not in that one? He's just in the first part? No, he's only in the second part
Starting point is 01:08:33 Oh, he's only in the second part, so he was wrong the first time Yeah, but I didn't get caught, so here I am There's a didn't get caught room? Yep That's how OJ got away with it Holy shit. And Demi already guessed wrong once. That's true.
Starting point is 01:08:52 Yeah. That's true. You guys are both terrible. By the way, I know this because I saw that movie for the first time like two weeks ago.
Starting point is 01:08:58 Which one? With Nolan Knight. Oh. Yeah. I mean, I had that scene. How'd you like it? It's fucking great.
Starting point is 01:09:04 It's like a comedy, but it's also scary. Like, it's a horror movie. The first scene in that movie is hilarious. We're just trying to find a way to get high around their apartment. Oh, my God. And they're drinking the lighter fluid and stuff. It's, yeah, it's Richard E. Grant, who's really great. And I'll tell you after the podcast something about that movie.
Starting point is 01:09:26 Oh. Just say it now. You jerked off. I can't do it. Do you got any other ones, Demi? Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Yeah. Cool. Who's dancing now, Kumail?
Starting point is 01:09:45 See, he is the prisoner of Azkaban. Something black? What's his name? Sirius Black? Yeah. So, tell me. Ooh. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.
Starting point is 01:10:05 There's a movie I want to watch. I'm just talking. I thought this was we talk about movies. I want to see that movie. Oh yeah, it's my turn to guess. I don't have something. Oh shit. You should have just said A Star is Born.
Starting point is 01:10:21 We can't fact check that. Yeah. Wait, but he saw it. No, I know. I'm saying we have. So he knows he's lying if he said it. Sure, but does he care? No, I just want to win.
Starting point is 01:10:32 Or is that Gary Oldman and Dave Chappelle makeup? That would be a misstep. Couple mistakes there. Is Dave Chappelle, is he in the movie much? He's not in the movie much, but he's not in the movie much but he's really good and it's like an important part he's in a few scenes but it's a very important part he's really good in it yeah be nice to see him he's so like muscular yeah it's really strange because his head looks like Dave Chappelle but his body looks like
Starting point is 01:11:01 somebody else yes he has the same head but then the rest of it is I'm just gonna say what I said again muscular so Demi's our winner Demi's our winner I'm gonna look up and just see what else he's in. Yeah, well, the audience will tell us right now if we ask them. Immortal Beloved. Immortal Beloved. Tinker Taylor Soldier Spy. Yeah, he played all the parts.
Starting point is 01:11:34 Say Hannibal? Interstate 60. Oh, my God. Hannibal. That's right. I've even seen that movie. Lost in Space, yeah. He played Dr. What's-His-Name.
Starting point is 01:11:46 We got a lot of his movies. Wait, they made a Hannibal Buress biopic? Yeah, it's called Bill Cosby's Trial. Oh. I already said Darkest Hour. Justin, there's no shithead on the back of this. Who? Oh, okay.
Starting point is 01:12:04 Interesting. Prick up your ears. Yeah, I told you. It was right after Sid and Nancy, probably. Tiptoes. Tiptoes. That movie's crazy. I still haven't seen it, but it looks bonkers.
Starting point is 01:12:19 That implies that you are going to see it. I want to. Matt, pass down the Aaron thing. Track 29. The track you, and it was track 29. Oh, shit. Wow. The track you were looking for was track 29. Lots of mistakes in this episode.
Starting point is 01:12:30 Much earlier on the album. But what do you got? Do your plugs again, Matt. Oh, my dead wife, the robot car in Stitcher Premium. The movie I was just in was called Good Girls Get High. I don't know what you can see that on, but that just was at the film festival. And then Improv for Humans. Thanks, guys.
Starting point is 01:12:56 Give me a digi, bae. What do you got to plug? Pump up the jam or what's it called? Punch up the jam. Yeah. Punch up the jam. And that's it for now. Shit.
Starting point is 01:13:12 The apple wash. Oh no. It's on his wrist. It's on Matt. Matt's keeping that. This is just the box. Thank God. Parna, what's what are you plugging? Netflix. You're on Netflix. Yeah. You can see me. I got Netflix you're on Netflix yeah you can see me I got a half hour
Starting point is 01:13:27 on Netflix or you can hear me on the new season of BoJack very nice so nice and Kumail
Starting point is 01:13:38 what's going on with you well you can watch Silicon Valley on various things and I have I don't have anything coming out for Loa, but I have two movies coming out next year.
Starting point is 01:13:47 I'm in a movie called Stuber that comes out in May with me and Dave Bautista, who's a very, yeah, he's awesome. And then I'm in Men in Black, which will come out next June. What? Like a reboot of it? It's not a reboot per se. It's like the London office. So this one was the American branch.
Starting point is 01:14:10 Sure. Because it's a... Camille's and Will Smith face. I'm actually... No, makeup is no difference. I just say, I'm Will Smith at the end of every line. Acting. No, it's Tessa Thompson and Chris Hemsworth at the end of every line. Acting.
Starting point is 01:14:25 No, it's Tessa Thompson and Chris Hemsworth at the Doom Men in Black. Oh, okay. One of them's a lady. Yeah, one of the men in black is a lady. Ooh, men in black. Twelve Guests of Christmas New York City and Los Angeles are both on sale now.
Starting point is 01:14:42 She's excited. Or he. I'll be back here at UCB Franklin on October 30th. And thank you to all my guests, Matt Messer, Demi DiGiube, my partner, Nancerla, and Kumail Nanjiani. Thanks, everybody. And as always, Gary Oldman is a shithead.
Starting point is 01:15:14 Traffic on the 105 freeway is a shithead. You could name any freeway around these parts and you'd be right. And where's Justin at? I'm going to get your Funko Pop back. Good catch. And Kanye and everyone who didn't snatch that dumbass hat off of his head at SNL are a shithead. at SNL are a shithead.
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Starting point is 01:15:59 complete with taurine and B vitamins. Each can has three shots of espresso and comes in vanilla espresso or espresso and cream flavors. Close your eyes, take a sip, and enjoy Espresso Monster today. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
Starting point is 01:16:21 There's no room in his heart for you because Doug loves movies.

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