Doug Loves Movies - Kumail Nanjiani, Aparna Nancherla, Demi Adejuyigbe and Matt Besser guest
Episode Date: October 3, 2018Back at the UCB Franklin, Doug welcomes Kumail Nanjiani, Aparna Nancherla, Demi Adejuyigbe and Matt Besser to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium.... For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers,
screaming baby sticky seeds
with 50 azipop or kernels in his teeth.
There's still not more that he won't see
because Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey everybody
My name is Doug and I love movies
This is Doug Loves Movies
Coming to you once again
From the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater in Los Angeles, California.
It's Tuesday, October 2nd, 2018.
And it's also name tag show in time.
Do we have any?
Okay, good.
We got some.
That's exciting.
What's that figure you're holding up?
It's a Funko Pop doll of Hammond from Jurassic Park.
Funko Pop of Hammond from Jurassic Park.
What does that have to do with anything?
Is your name Hammond?
No.
No.
So you just brought a thing and held it up.
Here's my name tag.
Oh, some
jumbo donuts?
Donetties?
Wow.
I mean, I didn't know hostess made jumbo mini donuts.
That is a very strange concept.
And I will...
I should say for the listeners
that there's a whole thing of them
just sitting here on the table waiting for me.
So I will toss those throughout the show.
Did I describe any other name tags?
Just that one.
Oh, what's this Michael Myers thing over here?
It's what?
Michael Myers smoking a bong?
Is that why you're sitting alone over there?
You're so isolated because everyone's like, I'm not going to... smoking a bong? Is that why you're sitting alone over there?
You're so isolated because everyone's like,
I'm not going to...
Mike Myers is bad enough,
but when he's got a fucking bong in his hand,
he's just going to, you know,
break that off and stab me with it.
And what's your name?
Mark.
Mark.
So how does that...
Okay, thanks everybody.
The name tags are becoming so less and less name taggy.
More just random shit.
Doug plugs, this Saturday, October 6, 2018,
Doug Loves Movies comes for the first time to Reno, Nevada
at the Reno Tahoe Comedy Club
in a hole in the ground at Pioneer Center
at 420
I'm really hoping for a good turnout for this
I do not expect it
Wednesday, October 10th
Douglas Movies returns to Helium in Philadelphia
hashtag gas
and I'm doing stand-up and Douglas Movies
at the Improv in Washington, D.C.
on Thursday, October 11th, and Sunday, October 14th.
Oh, San Francisco on Halloween.
Wear costumes.
I don't care.
For all of my dates and deets.
I mean, if you want to, wear them.
No, but it's fun to have movie-themed name tag costumes
on Halloween, and I always have fun
when we do the show in San Francisco on Halloween.
But for all my dates and deets,
go to Douglovesmovies.com.
That's Douglovesmovies.com!
Yeah!
Go!
That was so relaxed,
it was almost like you were saying dot calm.
Which should be the address of very calming websites.
What's it called? ASMR or whatever.
I brought a bunch of stuff in the prize bag for tonight,
starting with an Accidental Comedy Fest poster
that they gave me when I did that in Cleveland a few weeks ago.
This is kind of fun.
These are silicone
gummy trays
that you can use to make
gummies.
It looks kind of
like an ice cube tray, but it's a little
round gummy thing, so if you're
making your own weed snacks,
that'd be fun.
Oh, here's a shirt that's got
something on it that I don't know why anyone
would want to walk around with that on their shirt.
But it says
Fuck Big Farm.
And they do that thing where it's
an asterisk instead of a U
and fuck, so I guess that makes it
you can wear it to an elementary school.
Nobody's going to have a problem with it.
Maybe I'll just put these donuts in the prize
bag because I don't want to waste
time throwing donuts because we've got a lot to
pack in tonight, but also
a Doug Loves Movies sticker
and the stuff brought by my
four guests tonight.
It's a terrific lineup
as it often is here in Los Angeles.
Please give it up for Demi Adige eBay, Aparna Nansharla, Matt Besser, and Kumail Nanjiani.
Hello.
Let's meet them individually, shall we?
All previous guests on the show,
so I'm going to just go old school, old fashioned,
and start with the lady on the panel. It's Aparna Nancherla, everybody.
lady on the panel. It's Aparna Nancherla, everybody.
Is this your first time doing the show
in L.A.? Yeah. I'm excited.
I'm excited. It's nice to have you here. You've done
it in New York at the Gramercy?
Yeah, the holiday one. Yeah, and you
get to see now how much less
interest there is in the show here in Los
Angeles than in New York.
It's hard to... Week to week. Who can can do it this isn't even week to week it's like every couple of weeks but
you know people have things to do I understand yeah yeah female doughnuts
right yeah I bet these are at least three years old.
These were made years ago.
I just opened it.
No, but they were... I mean, look at them.
They're made and then they sit around for a while.
Yeah.
Do they have cream in them?
Until they're aged.
Do they have cream in them?
That was the creepiest thing.
I don't know why.
Hey, you got cream in you?
I'll find some cream.
Anything. Matt some cream. Anything.
Matt loves cream.
I feel like that's the only reason to get Hostess
is something with some cream in it.
This seems boring to me.
All right, give it back.
You're bored by that donut.
I'm going to put them in the prize bag.
No, I was going to also pass it.
All right, I'll throw another one.
Yeah, good luck with that.
It's nice that they're packaged now.
Heads up.
So no mess.
Oh, that is a good point.
The individual packaging really is nice for...
I did a club in Chicago, the Zanies in Rosemont,
and they would give me...
They go, if you're going to throw donuts,
could you put them in these plastic bags?
So on my table is a bunch of plastic bags.
So I put a donut in it,
seal it up,
and then chuck it at somebody.
And would you yell,
fuck the earth,
as you did it?
Wait, because that's worse
for the earth,
all those plastic bags?
Yeah, that's what I hear.
So you don't think
these should be
individually wrapped?
No, I don't think
those should be.
I'm imagining people
coming to see
a Dougal's Movies tapings
and them having to put
the donuts in the
individual pouches
like when you see
a comedian
and they don't want
their set taped
and you have to put
your phone in those
weird lock boxes.
Yeah.
Like that.
And then you throw them
at them.
Yeah, you should get
a donut as you put
your phone in there.
You get a prize
for having to do that.
It's a trade-off.
Trade-in.
Donuts for phone-nuts.
That was half a joke.
Which half?
Yeah, the first half.
The middle.
Just just set up
is not half a joke.
That's a sentence.
You're going to get the end
by the end of this podcast.
Cannot wait for the punchline
to Fonuts is Donuts.
He's going to have you naked
by the end of this pod.
What are you doing
out here in California,
Parno? What's up? Why do we get to have you naked by the end of this pod What are you doing out here in California Parno what's up
Why do we get to have you here
I'm writing for
A show that will be on
Apple's new platform
The yet to be named
If you guys want to name it feel free
How about Scrapple
That's great
Scrapple Banana we're doing it
Such good ideas Why did you get to design that's great Scrabble banana we're doing it such good ideas
why do you get to design
that's weird
I'm just gonna relay it
back to HQ
what is the show
it's a workplace comedy
about a video game company
oh I know those
yeah you know
you know those
you know
I keep my tabs on all video game shit.
Video games, deadline, you got to know everything.
But that's why I'm here.
Awesome.
Oh, applause for that.
Yes, thank you.
I mean, Apple needs to have their hands in more stuff.
Demi Adige eBay is here, everybody.
Hi.
What's going on with you, man?
Oh, not much.
What's this treat you're eating over there?
I'm eating peach rings, gummy peach rings.
But they are shaped like donuts, too.
Yeah, I'm not tossing these.
These are for me.
What?
You really just brought a snack?
I went to 7-Eleven
to get a thing
and then,
yeah,
while I was there
I also got a snack.
Can I say something?
I love peach rings.
These are not good.
Oh yeah, no.
These 7-Eleven ones
that don't taste like peach.
Yeah, and here I got
two of them
that are inseparable.
Like, it's eat both
or fuck off.
They really will not come apart.
One's the Oscar, one's the...
I'm afraid.
I'm putting it in the prize bag.
Someone else is going to eat that.
All the prizes stick together.
Yeah.
What are you doing?
What are you up to besides snacking?
It's mostly snacking.
I'm working on the Late Late Show,
writing my weird musical bits for them.
And then also doing...
Thank you.
Also doing Punch Up the Jam, my musical podcast, where we take hit songs and then rewrite them
to be bad joke songs.
Thank you.
What was the last song you did?
We did Kokomo today.
Oh. Oh, current.
Shitty enough.
We want to make it as modern as possible.
Someone's going to bring down Kokomo, finally.
Next week is Cotton Eye Joe.
My daughter did
Burning Down the House parody
on the way to California.
Your daughter's more hip than I am.
And what was the gist of it? Pooping on the house parody on the way to California. Your daughter's more hip than I am. Yeah. And what was the
gist of it? Pooping on the
house.
So she's on top of a house?
Who's not laughing is my question.
What's your problem, asshole?
Pooping on the house? That's hilarious.
Imagine that.
That's Matt Besser, everybody.
Hey!
What's your new thing that you're doing?
Trying to get on a Parnas show, this video game show.
Right?
Yeah.
I think we all want to be on that.
But what's...
No, I got a new podcast out on Citra Premium called My Dead Wife, The Robot Car.
My Dead Wife played by Mary Holland.
It's a 10-part series.
It's about a... Who plays Wife played by Mary Holland. It's a 10 part series. It's about a
Who plays
the robot car?
Mary Holland.
She plays all the things?
She's my dead wife
the robot car.
Oh shit I'm stupid.
She dies
and becomes a robot car?
Yeah yeah yeah.
Or were you married
to a robot car
that then dies?
No no the first one.
I was really excited
about a show
that had a dead wife and a robot car.
I got to get home to my wife.
I don't want her to know about the robot car.
You could watch Minority Report.
That has those.
Dead wives.
And robot cars.
And robot cars.
So that's on Stitcher Preemies.
Yeah.
Stitcher Preemies.
That's awful. Let's stitch uper Preemie. And I think you... That's awful.
I think you...
Let's Stitch Up the Preemie.
Stitching up the preemie.
Hilarious.
And that's Kumail Nanjiani, everybody.
Thank you.
everybody who did a
stage reading
last night
for charity
all the money
went to
cancer
you gotta put
money into it
to keep that
going
and
I thought it
was a weird
cause
let's raise
some money
for cancer
and
but you did with a lot of interesting array of
people you did a reading of james l brooks screenplay for terms of endearment yeah and uh
i mean i almost went to it i had tickets but i didn't end up getting to go but uh my the thing
i was most excited about is calista flockhart was one of the people reading the script.
And so I thought, well, Harrison Ford's going to be there.
Two earrings looking like he doesn't want to be there.
And when I saw pictures today on the internet that that did happen.
Yep, he was there.
It was great.
I talked to Harrison Ford last night.
Y'all ain't shit.
I just want to meet him because I want to tell him that Star Wars movies suck from now on because he's no longer going to be in them.
He is always my favorite character.
We don't know that.
Oh, great point.
What do you mean?
What's he going to do?
He's dead.
Ghost memory.
You're asking me to write the Star Wars movies?
But also, I think Harrison Ford would be hard to get him out of bed to be in yet another Star Wars movie.
I think he, like, around
Empire, I think
he was begging Lucas to just
kill him off. Yeah. Like, just let him
die. I mean, he does not like having a job.
He likes to
fly planes. Poorly.
Yes. Golf courses.
No, yeah, he likes to fly planes, but
landing them is another deal altogether.
That's the easiest way to get out of doing more jobs.
Wow, that's some real peach ring wisdom
right there.
Man, you tore through those.
Yep. I opened the bag
as I came out here.
Okay, so it's a stage reading. So everybody sits like this with the scripts on little stands and they read it but you like rehearse a little bit you were saying yeah we
did a pretty long rehearsal and but it's also extremely dramatic yeah i know everybody was
crying yeah and uh but the scene where shirley mclean in the movie is screaming about give her
the drugs give my daughter the drugs.
Yeah.
Did Calista Flockhart get that nuts reading that scene?
Yeah, it was very heartbreaking.
Calista Flockhart was very, very good.
And it was great because that movie is so, if you haven't seen Terms of Endearment, people remember it as like this very sad movie, which it is.
But it's also very funny.
It's got great lines in it.
So it was like for the first half, it was killing it.
And then the second half, everyone was crying.
It's perfect.
Okay, now I'm glad I didn't go.
I didn't want to meet Harrison Ford with my makeup all runny.
James L. Brooks was there.
That was very exciting.
Yeah, that's super neat.
All right, well, congratulations on that. And we really helped
Cancer out, too, so.
Yeah, just, you know, keep it going.
About time. They almost got rid of that thing.
Wow.
Cancer? Yeah.
Not anymore, thanks to Camille.
I heard, I'm not going to say
who the source was, but I heard the reason there's
still Cancer is because of the Dems.
So. For a second, who the source was, but I heard the reason there's still cancer is because of the Dems. So...
For a second,
I thought that was
your nickname for me,
and I was like,
what did I do?
The Dems.
It could be your new nickname.
What do you want?
I can't believe...
Anyway.
Let's discuss the prize bag.
What do you have
for the bag tonight,
Matt Besser?
Well, I don't have anything
for my project,
so I'll have some old stuff.
So I got my
Besser Breaks the Record stand-up album
available on Amazon as well
and my Freak Dance
movie with the Matt Besser baseball
card signed in it.
Nobody has that.
Pass it down. Slide it
down the bar like a western.
Demi?
I brought a bag of Flaming Hot Cheetos.
And then a t-shirt that says September 21st on it.
Which is part of a thing.
Every year on September 21st, I release a video of me dancing to
September by Earth, Wind & Fire,
and it's some weird choreography to it.
And this year, I sold shirts for charity,
for RAINN, Races, and the National Center
for Transgender Equality.
And here's one of those shirts.
Gratis, without having to help charity.
And then I have four copies of
The Woman in Black, Angel of Death.
Oh my gosh.
Wait, why?
What?
I don't know.
Oh, wait, they're different formats?
Yeah, I have two DVDs, two Blu-ray.
The Woman in Black 2, Angel of Death.
It's the first one, it's got Harry Potter in it.
Yes, the second one has no one.
It says starring no one.
Yeah.
Wait, it has the guy
Daniel Radcliffe or actually Harry
Potter.
No spoilers. That's such a
muggle question.
I know. I outed myself.
Yeah, you fucking squib.
Wow.
Isn't that what it's called? I don't know.
That sounded harsh. Damn squids. Isn't that what it's called? I don't know. That sounded harsh.
Damn squids.
Squibs.
Isn't that what it is?
The term for someone who's non-magical, magical person?
Are squibs like the Dems of Harry Potter?
Yeah.
What do you have for us, the partner?
I forgot about the prize back until I got it.
Oh, shit.
I'm sorry I didn't remind you.
No, it's okay, but I found some Roundup candy.
What?
You're right to not be impressed.
It's open.
No.
There's candy missing from it.
Nope.
It's very light.
You know this is a podcast,
and there's no way for me to defend myself
to the people at home.
It really is like half full of these things.
It's like half full.
Well.
Somebody just wandered into the store.
Oh, there's some chewing gum inside it.
Doug, that was actually for you.
Is it gum?
I don't know.
I've never had random candy.
I think it's just,
you just buy it.
I love these ingredients.
Dextrose, cornstarch, corn syrup, tapioca.
All my favorite candy is tapioioca. It's all...
All my favorite candy is tapioca flavored.
It's from the old times.
Are you...
Nice.
Nice.
Nice.
Are you getting a nice buzz?
Won't fucking light.
Won't light.
You cigarettes are bullshit.
And for all you film fiends,
I got this week's Entertainment Weekly.
Ooh, yeah, with long hair Jamie Lee Curtis on there.
She was at Fantastic Fest.
American Cinematographer Magazine.
Oh, that's nice.
That is right on topic.
Oh, 2013.
Mm-hmm.
I'm very current with my prizes
I love American Cinematography
You can read stuff like
I decided to point the camera in the direction of the actors
I turned the light on
And then hit record
Are you flipping through the ZW
Looking for your own image?
No
I'm looking to see
if there's a review
of Halloween in there
because Halloween's
on the cover.
Oh, maybe not, though,
because they want, you know...
They're reviewing
Holidays, the movie?
Oh, this is my favorite one.
Yom Kippur, one star.
Really boring.
Jesus didn't come back. This Easter
gets two stars.
Hard to understand.
Alright, cool. What do you got,
Camille? I got two things.
You brought a bag.
Can we keep the bag?
I brought a Blu-ray DVD
of our movie, The Big Same.
And a poster signed by me,
and I tracked down the co-writer of it,
and she got to sign it too, so...
Who co-wrote that with you?
My wife!
Just one copy, huh?
Just one copy, huh?
It's only on one format,
so whoever wins tonight might be watching
Lady and Dead 2.
Lady and Dead?
Lady and Dead.
Lady and Dead.
Did your daughter do that parody?
Is pooping tonight.
Cheek to cheek.
Okay, that works, that works.
Yeah, sometimes they write themselves.
Okay, so I got a quick question for each of you
before we get to the game portion.
Matt, why is there a letter in front of you?
A postage letter.
This, oddly enough, that baseball card, we're giving away.
That was made like five years ago by Topps Baseball.
I still get almost weekly letters from collectors.
I'm just opening this now.
Some pretend to be a fan
of mine. Some think I'm a baseball
player. Well, they just want to complete
their collection? Yeah. Oh, wow.
So they'll ask me to autograph it and return it to
them. But let's see what this person says.
Thank you, Mr. Besser. Thank you
for your time. I would greatly appreciate
it if you would sign your card for me.
I just found out that there were baseball cards
of some of my favorite comedians.
Oh, this guy actually researched it.
You've done a really cool thing with the UCB.
So this guy actually...
Oh, he Googled and found...
Well, sometimes they do,
and it'll be like the last thing I did
that I had like a line on.
So I love your work and fresh off the boat
you know
I was in the background
hey everybody I'm white
I'm not off
the boat
someone went
oh
I love the bulletin board here at UCB
in the office because
you walk by it and glance at it,
and you get lots of fan mail for anybody that performs here any time.
And a lot of times it is the return address stamped envelope thing, like, just send me your autograph.
But there's also many Donald Glovers back there, like a hundred.
And he's never going to come by.
People would never show up.
Camille, have you ever gotten your mail
off of the wall back there?
I have not looked.
You should check.
I don't think people associate me
with the UCB necessarily.
Yeah, that's true, I guess.
That's what I'm going to tell myself.
You probably have lots of stuff
on the bulletin board
at the closed comic book store.
Aww!
How dare
you? Oh, he's crying.
Too soon.
Don't melt down
on me. We did used to
We did
used to get stuff at the meltdown
back when I was alive. That makes sense.
Matt,
you waste a lot of
time with that letter, so let's go to Demi
no Matt
Matt
why is it just
sitting there on the table
I would lose it otherwise
I'm gonna leave it
in the green room
what was the last movie
you saw
I never get out
to the movies
but I do watch
the Netflix movies
sometimes
I enjoy the sci-fi movies they make on the Netflix.
Which one did I see?
Extinction, I think one of them was called.
Anybody see that?
What happens in it?
Do you want to know?
Yeah.
Hence the question.
Well, give me the categories.
Is it monsters, boogans, aliens?
It's post-apocalyptic, you think.
It has a very Philip K. Dick kind of twisty.
I like any movie where at some point
one of the characters realizes that they're a robot
and they look down at their own intestines.
They're like, oh, fuck.
I'm a robot.
This explains why I'm never hungry.
That's why I haven't pissed in 50 years.
This is why I'm not participating in this pooping I hear so much about.
I've got a house, but I can't poop on it.
But you give a thumbs up to this Extinction movie?
It's not the best.
I enjoyed it, though.
Other movies you watch, you're like,
that would have been really good if it was Like an hour
Like a TV show?
Like a Black Mirror episode
That's why
That's why I always think
Those are perfect
Lengths for you
Yeah
Okay
Have you guys
Has anyone here
Seen that movie?
No we established
That once already
I thought there'd be
One person
That's right
That's all I got
Okay
Before I Fall.
Have you guys seen that one?
Where the girl keeps dying.
She keeps dying?
She keeps dying. It's like Groundhog Day.
Who is that? Chloe Grace Moretz?
No, Happy Death Day? Is that what you're
talking about?
Am I?
Is it called Before I Fall?
Yeah.
Chloe Grace Moretz? Is that who was in it?
No.
No, you're thinking of If I Stay.
If I Stay.
Shit.
Those are similar titles.
Before I Fall and If I Stay are two very different titles.
I don't know, man.
They're both three words.
Those two, lump them in with the big sick, they all sound the same to me.
It's just three words that don't mean anything.
So, uh...
I knew someone who was disappointed
that there was illness in the big sick.
We had so many clues.
If you got to the third word of the title,
you knew what was up.
I was sold at the.
I didn't need the rest of it.
Definite article. I'm into this.
Do you feel, though, Kumail, now that
some time's gone by, that
I have a theory about The Big Sick, and that's
that it is a hilarious
comedy in the movie theater, and
then just watching it on a device,
it's just sad. It's just
a drama.
Does that make sense? Yeah, I know what you're saying.
I really hate it.
No, it's... But you know what I mean? The dramatic
aspect of it is
heightened because you're not laughing the whole
time. Because there are jokes that are hilarious
when you're sitting with people. When you're by
yourself, it's still people joking around in a
hospital. There are some things that were like
that got huge laughs in the theater and then when I
saw it with like a smaller crowd
got like a very
different emotional reaction. Yeah, yeah.
I mean, I think it works either way. I didn't
want to be insulting.
The atmosphere is tense.
Doug has one fucking candy cigarette inside of him.
I get so crazy on those
that I can't control my comments.
Were we still on Demi?
Did we still have a cut to Demi yet?
Oh, I thought we were talking about Before I Fall.
What was your last movie or fan letter?
I saw First Man.
You saw First Man?
Yeah.
It was good.
It's not like...
Did someone just say eh?
Okay.
I'm over space movies, especially ones that are based on
real stories because we know
this Ryan Gosling character lives because he's been in other movies you
think he lives but has he been in any movies after that no that's a good point
maybe he died in this one maybe that's the last Ryan Gosling movie does he ever
does he ever do one of these in it? Does he ever go... Like a... Nice guys?
Nice guys and La La Land.
He does like jump takes.
Oh, you're right.
It should be when he sees the moon.
Oh, it's right there.
He doesn't.
Oh, moon.
So much bigger than I've seen it before.
I thought it was going to be this big.
First man.
But what's the name of the astronaut?
Do you know that it's about...
Neil Armstrong?
Yeah.
What?
Because you just said he might not live, and he lived.
It's Seb from La La Land.
It's a continuation of that story.
Yeah, he's going to open up a tapas and jazz place on the moon.
It's about Louis Armstrong.
I thought it was about Louis Armstrong. I thought it was about
Lance Armstrong.
Why did that not work?
The other Armstrongs work?
But Lance Armstrong?
Because Louis did jazz.
I just got here.
Stretch Armstrong.
Stretch Armstrong.
I just got here.
Were you guys talking about that?
Hey, remember when...
Oh, his family was killed by Stretch Armstrong. So that guy is out got here. Were you guys talking about that? Hey, remember when... Oh, his family was killed by Stretch Armstrong.
That guy is out of here.
Yeah, it was weird.
Of all the things.
Of all the things.
So you thought it was fine.
I thought it was good, but I do...
So it's like very boring half of the time, and then the other
half is just insanely tense
action sequences, so it's weird to be
on the edge of my seat and then just be like, oh, I don't give a fuck
about what they're saying right now, and then, oh, it's
happening again. Oh, it's not like slow and then
tense. It's like back and forth, back and forth.
But it's like beautiful shot. Who are they shooting at
in the movie? Who are they shooting at?
Yeah. What do you mean shooting at?
I was kidding. You mean who are the cameras shooting at? Yeah. What do you mean shooting at? I was kidding.
You mean who are the cameras shooting at?
Shooting the moon?
What is,
what were you,
what was your joke?
They're shooting the moon.
Was it a callback
to the American movie?
Oh, no,
just the going to,
like,
any flight sequence
in the movie
or, like,
any time they have to do anything.
Fighting aliens, I guess.
Yes.
It's a lot like Extinction.
Cool.
He looks down,
he's like,
oh, shit, I'm Neil Armstrong.
I get it.
And then the soundtrack's like,
tsh, tsh, tsh, tsh, tsh.
Scooby-dooby-dooby-da-da-da,
going to the moon.
You know the words.
You know the words.
I've listened to the soundtrack
a couple of times.
But that's interesting.
Damien Chazelle did La La Land
and then was like,
now I'm going gonna do a movie
about going to space
seems like he's
talented enough
to conquer anything
he's done music movies
in a row
he did three
before that was Whiplash
and then before that
was the Grand Piano
is that what it's called
he wrote that yeah
but he also made a movie
Guy and Madeline
on Park Bench
that was another jazz musical
hmm
man loves jazz
alright
and going to the moon
and going the two things that he loves.
I heard Gosling gives a low-key but good performance.
Yeah.
So, Oscar-worthy? No.
Alright, I'll tell them
to suspend their campaign.
Might as well. I've declared it.
Claire Ford is good.
Alright.
Parna, what was the last movie you saw?
I saw A Simple Favor.
Okay, with Anna Kendrick and Blake Lively.
I mean, that is the last movie I saw in a theater.
I make a small appearance in it.
That's why Demi gasped.
What happens in your scene?
I mean, it's about a bunch of kind of rich moms,
so I'm just one of the other moms
who's always worried about what's happening.
Like, what's one of your lines?
Oh.
And this is a normal movie?
Yeah.
Not like...
It's like a campy thriller.
That was my line in Fresh Off the Boat.
Loved your work in that.
Signed this card.
All right, Camille.
It's up to you.
Bring it home.
I saw two recently.
I'll name them both.
I saw A Star is Born, the new A Star is Born. I saw two recently. I'll name them both. I saw A Star is Born,
the new one,
A Star is Born.
Oh, a scoop.
Well, First Man's a scoop.
That's not even coming out
for a while.
A Star is Born.
Extinction.
No one's seen it.
It's a huge scoop.
I'm just excited
about A Star is Born
because, you know,
some of the characters
could die in it.
Neil Armstrong's
not going to die.
No.
Not in a timely manner.
And then...
Oh, you want to say
what you thought of it first
or you want to...
Yeah.
What was the second movie?
Give us the second movie.
I saw Mandy.
Okay.
All right.
Mandy and Starsborn.
Yeah.
Very similar.
Head to head in brackets.
Which one wins?
Very similar vibes. Yeah. Very similar. Head to head in brackets. Which one wins? Very similar vibes.
Yeah.
You can't compare them because, you know, when you...
I cried in A Star Is Born.
Mandy's like if Nicolas Cage was a movie.
Like the whole movie is Nicolas Cage.
I don't know how they got everyone to act like...
I think they were like, hey, what that guy's doing?
Everybody do that.
Everybody's Nicolas Cage in it.
It's great.
I saw at Fantastic Fest, I saw Between Worlds,
which is another new Nicolas Cage movie.
Did you like that?
And he is hilarious in it,
and the rest of the movie doesn't feel like they know
that this is a Nicolas Cage movie.
It's like the opposite of Mandy.
Did you see Mandy?
Everyone's just kind of running around
Nicolas Cage being a nut,
and he's very funny in it.
And everyone's being a normal human being.
Hilarious.
Or, you know,
some bad acting too, I guess.
Did you see Mandy?
Nuh-uh.
Okay.
Yeah.
But she came and she gave without taking.
She pooped without eating.
I'm just going to pitch to your daughter now.
Okay.
Work on it.
I'm going to be a ghostwriter for her.
Turn it off, Bert.
Let the games begin.
We got name tags.
And a Funko Pop doll.
A couple of them. A couple of them.
A couple of people brought those randomly.
But, oh, Camille's not even going to get up out of his seat.
He just got his Dinesh doll.
But everybody else, please go
select a name tag that you'd like to play
on behalf of, and while you do that,
we'll do this. How did they know that I was
going to be here?
I did say we were going to have an Oscar nominee here.
Okay.
I said an Oscar-losing individual is going to be here.
Oh, yeah.
So anyway, we're going to break.
We'll be right back.
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Back to the show.
We're back!
Matt, what do you
have down there? What are you
playing around with?
I'm not really sure. It says Apple Watch.
Maybe you know what this is.
That's our new
TV show. Oh my god, there's no show. You can put our new TV show. It's a new Apple Watch.
Oh, my God.
There's no show.
You can put it on your wrist.
It says Apple Watch, and it says, I, Aaron.
What is this, brother?
I think it's the new watch.
All right.
I don't think that's an Apple Watch.
That's a Fitbit.
That is not an Apple Watch.
It's a Fitbit.
Yeah, that's a Fitbit on a good day.
That's no Apple.
Have you ever seen a watch before, Matt?
Are you trying to figure out how it goes on your wrist?
Hey, man.
10-12.
I don't think it's a watch.
I think it's a pair of sunglasses.
I think it says what it is on the end of the box there.
No, it says watch.
No, it says Apple Watch.
It does say Apple Watch.
It says sport band.
But it's also open.
But it says sport band.
It has candy cigarettes.
Aaron's up to some shit.
But that's who you're playing for is Aaron.
Yeah.
Okay.
What do you have, Demi?
Well, it looks like I, Aaron, but it also looks like Aaron with the Spanish exclamation mark before it yeah I know
iPhone yeah I will come back to this I don't know what you're talking about iPad Give me one more example
iWatch
I'm playing for Steel Magnolias
Which I chose because
It's a pun that doesn't work on an audio format
It's Steel Magno-Lias
Leah
Somebody's name is Leas?
Just Leah.
Yeah, good job, Leah.
She's singular.
She's just the one person.
Parna picked one of my favorite ones
that was out there tonight.
It's pretty great.
It's like a...
It says Mark and...
Yeah.
It's like a Frankenstein holding a bong.
I'm sorry, it's Mike Myers holding a bong.
It says Halloween.
I'm so sorry.
It says Halloween.
Great job, Mark.
I really like the way that arm actually moves.
Oh, don't read it.
Oh, right.
It's a good shithead, though.
And the bong goes up to his nose.
That seems like what Michael Myers would do
is just fucking put it on his nose
and just fucking, like, Dennis Hopper.
Yeah, the arm length doesn't quite work, Mark.
Have you been using a bong like this?
Mark's over there somewhere in the dark.
I'm over here. He was sitting somewhere by himself. I'm shocked to part? Mark's over there somewhere. I'm over here.
He was sitting somewhere by himself.
I'm shocked to part I even went over there.
He's got a bong attached to his nose.
All right, so you have the Dinesh doll
from Silicon Valley.
It's a really minimum effort.
What else did they do?
He just put Justin on there.
Yeah, he cut a piece of paper
and put Justin on it. There, he cut a piece of paper and put Justin on it.
There's no pun.
I regret it.
Do you already own
one of these of yourself?
Yeah.
Okay, so you don't need
to hang on to it.
No, I've got a few of them.
You're going to get that back, Justin.
And maybe
all the prizes
in this bag.
Yeah, possibly.
You're going to get four copies of Robin and Black.
You guys sound like the aliens waiting for the claw to take them away in Toy Story.
All right.
So this first game we're going to play tonight is called Doug Loves Musicals.
No.
Yes.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Oh, my God. He's going to. No. Yes. Sorry. Sorry. Oh, my God.
He's going to...
Me?
Yeah.
I don't know shit about musicals.
Oh, really?
Is that true?
No, I know three musicals,
and I will wait to list them
until the game begins.
Why are you wearing
a glittery top hat?
It's just...
Sometimes you feel
a song coming on.
The man in the booth was supposed to cue anyway.
Oh, no.
All right.
Now, I just want to know the three musicals that you know.
I don't care about this game anymore.
All right.
La La Land.
Grease.
Grease 2.
That's it?
Is it any of those?
I feel like it's got to be at least one of those.
There's no way it isn't Grease 2.
We're all thinking about it this week.
No, I'm sure I've done Grease 2 in the past.
Summer pooping.
Had me a shit.
Wait, your daughter doesn't say that.
Had me a ass.
Had me a ass?
Yeah, that's good.
You say had me an ass like that was the most obvious.
It rhymes with blast. It does. Had me a ass? Yeah, that's good. You say had me an ass like that was the most obvious. It rhymes with blast.
It does.
Had me a ass.
Yeah.
That's called a collaboration.
I'm Elton John and you're Bernie Taupin.
I will take that as an insult because I did not understand it.
Bernie Taupin. You don't know who that is? It's all because I did not understand it. Bernie Toppin.
You don't know who that is?
No, never heard of Bernie Toppin.
He wrote Grease 2.
Cool.
He's Elton John's lyricist.
To this day?
No, he quit yesterday.
He's like, I've had enough.
More like Bernie Poopin. No, he quit yesterday. He's like, I've had enough.
More like Bernie Poopin'. Ah, Dinesh Dahl.
Ah, Bernie Poopin'.
I'll name songs from a movie musical.
And first person, just guess as often as you like.
We've narrowed it down
to it's not
La La Land,
Grease or Grease 2.
Okay.
There's no turns?
We just keep going?
You just guess as often
as you like.
We don't got to
name songs?
No.
You just jump in
when you think you know.
Chicago.
See, it's always
pre-guesses are always fun.
There's only so many musicals
so you might nail it.
There's so many musicals. So you might nail it.
There's so many musicals.
Oh, I was just naming a city I've seen musicals in.
You'd be surprised.
You go to the Wikipedia page
and it's not that long a read.
Really?
Yeah, because most studios
don't make musicals anymore.
Right, that is true.
You know, so La La Land's like,
that was the musical that year.
Yeah.
Chicago was the musical in its year,
you know, like...
Grease, Grease 2.
That's what's so funny about the
Golden Globes having a musical or comedy
category is any
shitty ass musical that was made
gets nominated in that category because
why is the category called that?
High school musical.
Yes, I think that won
all the Golden Globes that year.
And I've done
that one in this game before because of course
no one's going to recognize the songs from that uh throw me the ball you know like that
all right so um oh yeah cafeteria jig so many clues finals week wait a minute is it a throw
me the ball very similar to a chorus line song? Oh yeah, that's true.
Give me the ball, give me the ball, give me the ball, yeah.
That's the one.
Is that the Red Hot Chili Peppers?
That was Red Hot Chili Peppers.
Thank you.
Wow.
Give me the ball, give me the ball.
Take it away, take it away, take it away now.
All right, so.
Pass the ball.
Dribble it now.
What I got you,
gotta give it to the center.
Oh, it's basketball.
Okay.
Holy shit.
That should be the game.
We sing a song.
Kumail guesses the sport. Go for it. Go for it. We sing a song. Kumail guesses the sport.
Go for it.
Go for it.
We're playing basket.
Football.
So close.
Which movie musical features the songs Waiting for My Deary,
I'll Go Home with Bonnie Jean.
Holy shit.
The Heather on the Hill.
This is old school.
Oh, is it?
Heather on the Hill.
Burlesque.
Almost like being in love.
Carousel.
White Christmas?
No.
No.
I'm just listing musicals.
I know.
Showboat.
West Side Story.
Star Wars.
They're doing a new...
Spielberg's going to direct a West Side Story movie.
With Ansel Elgort.
Go, baby.
Have you done your show?
Guys and Dolls.
These are great guesses.
Yeah, you guys are naming all the musicals.
Grease. Grease 2
The Wedding Dance
The Wedding Singer
Half a Sixpence
Half a Sixpence
Stop the World I Want to Get Off
Mary Poppins
I would know Mary Poppins
The Chase
That's the name of this? Yep that's the name of a song I wouldn't know Mary Poppins. The Chase.
That's the name of this?
Yep.
That's the name of a song.
Oh, it's not the name of the musical. No, I'm not giving you the answer yet.
Are you kidding me?
I got 50 more songs to sing.
No, there's only one more song.
There's only one more song?
A whole musical?
It opens, it's at the beginning of the musical,
and it's at the end of the musical.
Oh, God. I mean, a lot of these guesses, It's at the beginning of the musical and it's at the end of the musical. Oklahoma.
Oklahoma.
I mean, a lot of these guesses
I guess you could say have been close.
But this last...
You can't even give us the
auteurs?
No, I'm going to give you the answer.
Okay, here we go. And I'm going to yell it.
Because I'm about to say what the...
What is the name of the song?
Because the song is also the title. Yeah, we get it. Yeah. Because I'm about to say what the... What is the name of the song? Because the song is also the title.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We get it.
We got it.
Keep going.
We understand.
There we go.
I got to be able to see everybody.
Okay.
See which one of you answers the quickest.
Brigadoon.
Brigadoon.
Brigadoon.
Brigadoon.
Sorry.
Did you get it?
Yeah.
Yeah. You're Brigadoon, son.
There's not a song about luck or something in there?
You're thinking of Luck of the Irish kind of thing?
He didn't say that he would name all the songs.
No, just some.
I didn't miss too many of them.
I couldn't tell you Brigadoon if you put a gun to my head.
I have no idea what that shit's about.
Yeah, I didn't even know that was a musical.
It's like a... It's a magical land.
It's Gene Kelly and he wakes up and he's in
a new land where he's getting laid
and then they're like
get out of Brigadoon.
Get the fuck out of Brigadoon.
He's like, but I want to stay.
And it's the whole thing about whether or not he can stay in this fantasy world.
It's a magical land?
Sounds like a rip off of Space Jam to me.
It is so
Space Jam. It's just not even right.
Basketball Jones. That's a song from
Basketball.
That's right.
Wait, what do you think Basketball Jones
is a song from? It's a song from
Space Jam. It is?
Yeah. The Cheech and Chong song
Basketball Jones? They sampled that for a song with Barry White.
Oh, okay.
Is it,
who sings it?
Is it?
I think Barry White.
No, but somebody else
is also on it.
Basketball Jones.
It's like Chris Rock
is on it?
Oh, yeah, he is.
Yeah.
Great singer.
Well.
He is on it, though. he's no Eddie Murphy but
or Bruce Willis
alright you guys
it's time to play
last man standing
now
this game is going to determine
our winner tonight and I'm going to determine our winner tonight.
And I'm going to get a name from an audience member
who's assured me that this name might be good.
And via Twitter.
And then we're going to take turns naming movies that person was in.
Demi won the first game, so he's going to go first.
And then we'll go to Aparna and Kumail and me.
I like to play along because I don't know yet who the actor's going to be first. And then we'll go to Aparna and Kumail and me. I like to play along
because I don't know yet who the actor's going to be.
Or actress!
And then...
I just want to remind people because they
rarely pick an actress. And then Matt
Pester's going to go last.
Where's the Kyle Fisher?
Here.
Turn up your
enthusiasm knob.
Right here Yeah
Great job
Right here
I want to see a third one
Where's the Kyle Fisher?
I'm here
Oh
He did a thing with his arms
A light came on him
And everything
Yeah
We don't need to see him
Whoever turned the lights on
Alright Kyle What do you do for a living Kyle? Yeah, we don't need to see him, whoever turned the lights on.
All right, Kyle, what do you do for a living, Kyle?
I work at a toy store.
Brother, toy store?
Yeah.
Where?
Tom's Toy Store.
What is it?
Beverly and Beverly Hills.
What you guys got?
You got any cream in it?
Yeah. Hey, you guys got any cream in it? Yeah.
Hey, you guys,
you toys got any cream in them?
Do they want some?
What kind of toys? Is there any particular kind of toys?
No, it's pretty much everything.
Dildos?
Is it like new toys, old toys, kids' toys?
Yeah, kids' toys.
They do a lot of board games, stuff like that.
All kinds of stuff.
See, there's two different kinds of toy shops.
That's right.
There's kind that have like the old school kind of wooden toys, kind of, you know, vintage stuff.
And then there's the stuff with the new, you know, fucking Paw Patrol, whatever the cartoon is.
Yeah, but then there's also that are also action figures that people like to collect.
Yeah, so not much that.
Just like kids' toy stores.
Okay.
Mostly for kids.
A Mr. Gregorium type deal.
Ah!
Yeah, is your toy store magical?
I can't say that.
Is there a magical door?
Portal.
Is Tom alive?
I honestly have no idea.
You have no idea?
You should be able to answer that.
It's Tom's toy store.
It's like going into Disneyland.
Hey, anybody know anything about Walt?
Yeah.
Does Tom's last name...
No, never heard of him.
Is your boss named Tom?
No.
Thomas.
Thomas.
Tommy. The Tom? No. Thomas. Thomas. Tommy.
The Tank.
No.
Thomas the Tank.
Does his last name happen to rhyme with Wonder Emporium?
Okay.
Just making sure.
If I came in today with my five-year-old daughter and said,
What do you have to recommend, my good man?
What would you say?
Get out, you weirdo.
I know Tom.
Why are you talking like that?
First of all, where did you find this girl?
Why is she thinking about poop constantly?
She's got the biggest YouTube channel in the world.
She's spending her money today.
You guys got any Paw Patrol type stuff?
Paw Patrol,
dude. Paw Patrol.
Paw Patrol, motherfucker.
You got a toy store? You don't know what fucking Paw Patrol is?
Fucking don't lie to us.
You don't work there,
do you?
Five dogs to solve mysteries?
Yeah, dude. Paw Patrol.
They're like cops or detectives or some shit. Maybe one's a fireman. Paw Patrol, dude. Paw Patrol. They have a little boy on a motorcycle that's their leader. They're like cops or detectives or some shit.
Maybe one's a fireman. Paw Patrol, dude.
I feel like he took a break
and was like, I'm going to make up a fun job.
And then we all just roasted it. We're like,
okay, let's prove that this is your job.
And he's regretting this choice.
Yeah, I still don't think he works at a toy store.
You've never heard
of Paw Patrol? Name one
toy.
Oh, shit. Name a toy. Name one toy. Oh, shit.
Name a toy.
Name one toy.
So tough to do.
I said recommend a toy for my daughter.
Just any toy in this fucking store.
Literally just say Lego.
Say something, dude.
Here, I got it.
You should say, I'm on a break.
I'm trying to enjoy a cigarette.
Wait, did you say a
Dinesh bar?
You're just saying stuff you're looking at.
Chairs.
A Snapple.
What toy do I recommend? Matt Besser's
daughter. Apple Watch.
Box.
Back of a comedy nerd head.
Dude!
Name one toy to sell there.
Okay.
Okay.
Here we go.
This is exciting.
Don't say Apple Watch.
I start on Thursday.
Oh!
We sussed him out!
He's got no idea.
He's going to start naming toys on Thursday.
You need to research, motherfucker.
This was your interview and you just fucking failed.
Name one toy.
Name who Thomas is.
You could have said anything, dude.
I knew it.
When that motherfucker said he didn't hear Paw Patrol,
I knew he when the when the motherfucker said he didn't hear Paw Patrol I knew he was lying
if I walked in
there as a dad
I'd go
this is a front
for drugs
or something
what's going on here
let's get out of here
honey
doesn't know
who Paw Patrol is
listen
I heard of Paw Patrol
and I don't even
work at a toy store
yeah
he's just a pedophile.
I want to state on the record that that is not true.
I hope just a pedophile doesn't cover these many things.
Yeah.
No, I am many things.
None of them is a pedophile.
On the list of all the things you are, a pedophile might not be on there?
No, not on there.
Don't use that joke at work, by the way.
If you go to work and they don't have any paw patrol,
call the guy who stocks it and be like, hey, we need any Paw Patrol, call the guy who stocks it.
Be like, hey, we need some Paw Patrol.
Because the kids are into it.
Matt, back me up here.
Oh, yeah.
Kumail is really just here to plug Paw Patrol.
We find out tomorrow in Deadline he's the new voice of Ryder.
Of Ryder.
You know the name.
Oh, yeah.
Kumail starts on Thursday. Who's the name. Oh, yeah. The mail starts on Thursday.
Who's the current voice of Ryder?
Can't tell you that.
Nicholas Cage.
I'm on the Paw Patrol.
Where is...
Where's Kyle Fisher? Let's talk to him
for a minute.
So Kyle,
do you have the name of an actor or actress
for us to
bandy about in this game tonight?
Gary Oldman.
Gary Oldman!
Voice of a writer.
Now he wrote to you in the tweet,
he's like, at first you're like, oh that's going to be tough,
and then you go, oh wait, he's been you in the tweet. He's like, at first you're like, oh, that's going to be tough. And then you go, oh, wait.
He's been in a lot of things that I know of.
So let's give it a try.
Gary Oldman.
I'm excited.
You guys each have one lifeline.
You can go to the person whose name tag you chose once.
So, Camille, good luck with Justin.
Please think of some Gary Oldman movies. Just think ahead, Justin. Please think of some Gary Oldman movies.
Think ahead, Justin.
Demi goes first.
Can I use my phone?
No.
You can use the watch
that someone gave you.
That you've now got
on your person.
Wait, it's a Gary Oldman
themed watch.
Was he in a movie
called 1035?
To Paris, yes.
No, I'm starting, right?
Yeah.
The Dark Knight.
Okay.
Aparna?
The Dark Knight Rises.
Oh my God.
Nobody's ever said that title that way.
So sweet and gentle.
Kumail?
I'll say The Darkest Hour.
Oh.
I'll say it like you were going to say The One.
He did win the Oscar for it.
You were there.
You watched it happen.
I did?
Yeah. It's not a big deal. I wish you'd stop bringing it. You were there. You watched it happen. I did? Yeah.
It's not a big deal.
I wish you'd stop bringing it up all the time.
I was only there because I was nominated,
but I don't want to talk about it.
So, yeah, we really got nominated for an Oscar. You know?
I was excited to see Emily tonight.
I was like, she's going to watch my show.
It's going to be fun.
And then she's next door eating chicken.
All right.
I'm just going to get it out of the way.
Batman begins.
Matt?
Wasn't he in Sid and Nancy?
Sure was.
True Romance.
Oh, yeah.
Good one.
Yeah.
I'm going to use my lifeline.
Oh, we're going to Mark.
Bram Stoker's Dracula.
Whoa, from the darkness even.
Bram Stoker's Dracula.
Dracula.
Full title and everything I like it
If I'm gonna challenge that
He did say Bram Stroker's Dracula
Oh and he's touching himself
While he said it
He's Bram Stroker's Dracula
Now give us a movie title
He's Bram's Dracula's Dracula. Now give us a movie title.
He's Bram's Dracula Stoker.
Where are we?
Me.
Come here. Here, I'll go to Justin.
He's going to Justin.
Ooh.
What the fuck?
Listen to this shit.
Some people call it just The Professional,
but if you want to get technical,
you can also call it Leon colon the professional.
Oh, I don't remember that title.
Yeah, yeah. They threw that in there.
Yeah, because his name's Leon.
That was a bad move.
But it looks good on a business card.
I see you're a professional. What's your name?
Oh, sorry. Leon. I'm going to put my name on the business card. I see you're a professional what's your name? oh sorry
Leon
should have put my name
on the business card
could you sign it
big fan
okay so
that's what
you used your lifeline
and that's what
we came up with
okay good
I know Gary Oldman was the inspiration for how Homer Simpson's neighbor looks.
Ned Flanders?
Ned Flanders.
Looks like Gary Oldman in the Dark Knight movies.
Check it out.
Which came first?
Check out the meme
somebody's already
probably done it
okay
but I gotta do
a different Gary Oldman
so I'm gonna go with
oh fuck
I hope I don't
fuck this up
oh shit
what's that fucking
movie called
I can't think of it now
Grease 2
yes
Gary Oldman is a tough one call? I can't think of it now. Grease 2. Yes.
Gary Oldman is a tough one.
Oh, oh. No.
Breathing
out Flanders.
They're just thinking of Simpsons,
season 2, episode 5. Oh, wait, no, that was
Ned Flanders.
Oh, Simpsons, season 3, episode 7.
Oh, no, that's Ned Flanders. Oh, Simpsons, season three, episode seven. Oh no, that's Ned Flanders.
He's such a chameleon,
that Gary Oldman.
Yeah, I know, it's hard, because he is a chameleon.
Yeah.
Most of the time he's just painted yellow,
wearing a green sweatshirt.
This is confusing.
This is confusing.
He was in Prick Up Your Ears.
Yeah, you heard me.
Prick Up Your Ears.
That was a perfect response
to Prick Up Your Ears.
You heard him
prick up your ears.
Yeah.
Why would you say what
after that?
I just told you.
Fucking prick him up, dude.
Yeah. I think originally it was called
Prick Up Your Arse,
and they cleaned it up for...
They rearranged the letters?
Why does it say prick up your ears?
I believe it...
What's that?
Joe Warden.
Joe Warden, the playwright.
It's his story.
Yeah, and it's directed by Stephen...
What's his name?
Stephen Frears.
Frears, yeah.
It's really good. Stephen Frears's really good it's really good and your
new friend Fred Molina is in it
it was originally called
Leon prick up your ears
okay your turn
alright
I bet I have the fucking number wrong,
but there was this George Harrison produced,
what was the film company called?
Like Handmade Films or something?
Yeah.
Track 49, is that what it was called?
I like it.
Did I nail it?
I'm going to take it just because it sounds legit
Debbie?
Well if we're just making up movies with numbers in them
The Fifth Element
I'm a crowd pleaser
Yeah that was great
Well done
I don't have another one
because I don't know the name of it
but it's where he plays a very short man
thank you
that's the one I was thinking of
don't say it
is it my turn?
I don't have the name
I would have said short man
I'm gonna say it
tiptoes it is called tiptoes The name. I would have said short name. I'm going to say it. I was on the edge of your toes.
It is called Tiptoes.
Yeah.
Thank you, Aparna.
I thought it might be called Tippy Toes.
That's the sequel.
That'd be offensive, dude.
Okay.
Tiptoes.
Isn't Matthew McConaughey in that?
He sure is.
He is.
There's so many Oldmans that are still out there, but I can't
think of another one right now.
For the sake of time, we're going to go to Matt.
You still got your Lifeline
airing, right?
Oh, yeah.
Air Force One.
Oh, very good.
Air Force One.
What if I didn't accept that?
No.
You just do movies with numbers now.
Your friend Harry Ford
threw him off a plane in that movie.
Yeah, my friend Harry Ford.
Mr. Flockhart.
Demi?
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.
God damn it!
Why am I sitting here not saying
Harry Potter titles?
Because you're a fool!
Kumail?
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.
He's in a flashback.
Full title?
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.
Come on, dude.
You know better than that.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.
Come on, dude.
You know better than that.
What's the second Godfather called?
Godfather 2, The Professional.
You just have to say the part.
Which part is it? Yeah, which one was he in?
What?
There are two Deathly Hallows movies.
Do you know how the Deathly Hallows movies work?
Oh, yeah.
Part one, dude.
Are you kidding me?
I thought that was obvious.
It's really the best of the Deathly Hallows.
Matt?
Yeah, you can't go to Aaron again
Aaron saved your ass
oh my god
here we go
the Gary Oldman story
this bio film
about him
he's in it?
we already said
Darkest Hour
so you're out?
did you see Darkest Hour?
It's good.
Very good.
I think there should be a double bill of Dunkirk and The Darkest Hour.
Or even just cut them, just go back and forth between reels.
Make one movie, yeah.
Because they both tell the story from different angles.
But I thought the talky one was more interesting than the action one, personally.
Demi?
With Nail and I.
What? Is he? I don't think
Gary Oldman is in Withnail and I.
That's also... I call bullshit on that.
That's also a George Harrison.
It is. It's by that same company.
Handmade films.
What is Gary Oldman in Withnail and I?
I've never seen it.
So how do you know he's in it?
Because I feel like I've seen the poster and that his name is on it.
And if he's not, then I'll be out.
All right, you're out.
Damn it.
Is no one checking this?
I'm pretty sure there's no one checking it.
Can I just say anything on this show?
We just let it go.
Oh, I have a lifeline.
Oh, shit.
Too late, dude.
Yeah, do you think your lifeline's got another wrong answer?
Lifeline, do you have an answer?
War, wait.
What?
Did she say Rosencrantz and Kilgister are dead?
Yeah.
War of the Planet of the Apes?
Oh, I already...
He already said something else.
I already said something else.
Aw.
Aw.
I'm sorry.
Command?
War for the Planet of the Apes.
Ooh.
What? That's a fair move.
Thank you, Demi.
You're welcome.
Back to you, Demi.
Oh, fuck.
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix?
Why not?
Seriously.
These Harry Potter films got some fans out in this audience.
Yeah.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
I don't know, is he not in that one?
He's just in the first part?
No, he's only in the second part
Oh, he's only in the second part, so he was wrong the first time
Yeah, but I didn't get caught, so here I am
There's a didn't get caught room?
Yep
That's how OJ got away with it
Holy shit.
And Demi already guessed wrong once.
That's true.
Yeah.
That's true.
You guys are both terrible.
By the way,
I know this because
I saw that movie
for the first time
like two weeks ago.
Which one?
With Nolan Knight.
Oh.
Yeah.
I mean,
I had that scene.
How'd you like it?
It's fucking great.
It's like a comedy, but it's also scary.
Like, it's a horror movie.
The first scene in that movie is hilarious.
We're just trying to find a way to get high around their apartment.
Oh, my God.
And they're drinking the lighter fluid and stuff.
It's, yeah, it's Richard E. Grant, who's really great.
And I'll tell you after the podcast something about that movie.
Oh.
Just say it now. You jerked off.
I can't do it.
Do you got any other ones, Demi?
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.
Yeah.
Cool.
Who's dancing now, Kumail?
See, he is the prisoner of Azkaban.
Something black?
What's his name?
Sirius Black?
Yeah.
So, tell me.
Ooh.
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.
There's a movie I want to watch.
I'm just talking.
I thought this was we talk about movies.
I want to see that movie.
Oh yeah, it's my turn to guess.
I don't have something.
Oh shit.
You should have just said A Star is Born.
We can't fact check that.
Yeah.
Wait, but he saw it.
No, I know.
I'm saying we have.
So he knows he's lying if he said it.
Sure, but does he care?
No, I just want to win.
Or is that Gary Oldman and Dave Chappelle makeup?
That would be a misstep.
Couple mistakes there.
Is Dave Chappelle, is he in the movie much?
He's not in the movie much, but he's not in the movie much but he's really good and it's like an important
part he's in a few scenes but it's a very important part he's really good in
it yeah be nice to see him he's so like muscular yeah it's really strange
because his head looks like Dave Chappelle but his body looks like
somebody else yes he has the same head
but then the rest of it is I'm just gonna say what I said again
muscular so Demi's our winner Demi's our winner
I'm gonna look up and just see what else he's in. Yeah, well, the audience will tell us right now if we ask them.
Immortal Beloved.
Immortal Beloved.
Tinker Taylor Soldier Spy.
Yeah, he played all the parts.
Say Hannibal?
Interstate 60.
Oh, my God.
Hannibal.
That's right.
I've even seen that movie.
Lost in Space, yeah.
He played Dr. What's-His-Name.
We got a lot of his movies.
Wait, they made a Hannibal Buress biopic?
Yeah, it's called Bill Cosby's Trial.
Oh.
I already said
Darkest Hour. Justin, there's no
shithead on the back of this.
Who? Oh, okay.
Interesting.
Prick up your ears.
Yeah, I told you.
It was right after Sid and Nancy, probably.
Tiptoes.
Tiptoes.
That movie's crazy. I still haven't seen it,
but it looks bonkers.
That implies that you are going to see it.
I want to. Matt, pass down the
Aaron thing.
Track 29. The track you, and it was track 29.
Oh, shit.
Wow.
The track you were looking for was track 29.
Lots of mistakes in this episode.
Much earlier on the album.
But what do you got?
Do your plugs again, Matt.
Oh, my dead wife, the robot car in Stitcher Premium.
The movie I was just in was called Good Girls Get High.
I don't know what you can see that on, but that just was at the film festival.
And then Improv for Humans.
Thanks, guys.
Give me a digi, bae.
What do you got to plug?
Pump up the jam or what's it called?
Punch up the jam.
Yeah.
Punch up the jam.
And that's it for now.
Shit.
The apple
wash. Oh no. It's on
his wrist. It's on Matt.
Matt's keeping that. This is just the box.
Thank God. Parna, what's
what are you plugging?
Netflix. You're on Netflix. Yeah. You can see me. I got Netflix you're on Netflix yeah you can see me
I got a half hour
on Netflix
or you can
hear me on
the new season
of BoJack
very nice
so nice
and Kumail
what's going on
with you
well you can watch
Silicon Valley
on various things
and I have
I don't have anything coming out for Loa,
but I have two movies coming out next year.
I'm in a movie called Stuber that comes out in May with me and Dave Bautista,
who's a very, yeah, he's awesome.
And then I'm in Men in Black, which will come out next June.
What?
Like a reboot of it?
It's not a reboot per se.
It's like the London office.
So this one was the American branch.
Sure.
Because it's a...
Camille's and Will Smith face.
I'm actually...
No, makeup is no difference.
I just say,
I'm Will Smith at the end of every line.
Acting. No, it's Tessa Thompson and Chris Hemsworth at the end of every line. Acting.
No, it's Tessa Thompson and Chris Hemsworth
at the Doom Men in Black.
Oh, okay.
One of them's a lady.
Yeah, one of the men in black is a lady.
Ooh, men in black.
Twelve Guests of Christmas New York City and Los Angeles
are both on sale now.
She's excited.
Or he.
I'll be back here at UCB Franklin on October 30th.
And thank you to all my guests, Matt Messer, Demi DiGiube,
my partner, Nancerla, and Kumail Nanjiani.
Thanks, everybody.
And as always,
Gary Oldman is a shithead.
Traffic on the 105 freeway is a shithead.
You could name any freeway around these parts and you'd be right.
And where's Justin at?
I'm going to get your Funko Pop back.
Good catch.
And Kanye and everyone who didn't snatch that dumbass hat off of his head at SNL
are a shithead.
at SNL are a shithead.
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Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you
because Doug loves movies.