Doug Loves Movies - Kumail Nanjiani, Aya Cash and Desmin Borges guest
Episode Date: August 7, 2017Live from the NerdMelt Showroom in LA, Doug welcomes Kumail Nanjiani, Aya Cash and Desmin Borges to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at h...ttps://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming baby, sticky seeds 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug.
And I love movies.
This is Doug Lo's Movies! Coming to you once again from the Nerd Melt showroom at Meltdown Comics in Los Angeles, California.
It's Saturday, August 6th, 2017.
Wait, Sunday.
I wrote down Saturday.
Weirdo.
It's 420-ish.
And we have a great turnout today.
But how many name tags do we have today?
That's the question I...
Plenty of name tags.
Super Jamie. Your name is Jamie?
I like it. Instead of Super Jaime.
Oh, Death Becomes Her.
Someone was just...
Eric Nagel was just talking about...
It's the Eric Nagel Show.
He was talking about... That movie's 25 years old now,
and people don't remember that Bruce Willis is in it.
It's kind of more of a Meryl Streep, Goldie Hawn vehicle,
but what'd you change it to?
Beth Becomes Her.
Well, very good.
I was just listening to people talk about that movie.
Not Another Teen Jamie.
That's cool.
You bought some comic books.
You don't have a name tag, but it looks like you're just...
I don't want to show you my name tag.
I'm good, but it's actually a bag of comic
books. The Rocky Laura Picture
Show, instead of a different set
of jaws, which is the tagline for that
Rocky Laura Picture Show,
it says a different set of joints.
So that's
my favorite, although I gotta say that
dead Yoda back there that looks like it's
been hanged till dead
is pretty cool.
Luke, who's
talking, that's a nice one.
Atomic Brenda?
Brenda?
Your name is Brenda?
Why not just Atomic Brenda? Brend? Your name is Brend? Brendan.
Brendan?
Why not just Atomic Brendan?
I have syllables.
Syllables.
That's a great reason.
And you just bought like a pop vinyl thingy out in the comic book store and you're holding it up?
Does it have your name?
You put your name on it?
Well, good. At least no one will take it.
What does it say?
Justin what the what?
What figure is that?
It's Dinesh from Silicon Valley?
And you just put Justin
over it?
Alright.
Well, good luck to everybody.
Doug plugs, this Thursday,
I gotta double check these now,
this Thursday, August 10th, seems right,
I'm doing a stand-up show at Go Bananas
in Cincinnati at 10 p.m.
Bring your name tags if you want to play a game.
And Saturday, Doug Loves Movies is also at Go Bananas
at 4.20.
Then Sunday, Doug Loves Movies returns to the
Funny Bone in Columbus.
Oh! Next,
Doug Loves Movies
in L.A. is
Tuesday night, August
15th at 930 over
at UCB Franklin.
For all my dates and deets and links,
go to DougLovesMovies.com.
That's DougLovesmovies.com!
Yeah!
Yeah!
I just saw our good friend Pete Holmes.
And he really refers to what he does on Doug Loves Movies and Getting Doug With High
and One Time Undying with Doug and Karen as a character.
He claims that's not really him.
And I gotta say, we were together for a few hours
shooting a scene for his show on HBO,
and he was extremely mellow
and let me talk and everything.
In the scene, too.
In the scene on the show, I actually get to speak.
From the corrections department, Stanley Tucci was not in Mouse Hunt.
But, you know, unfortunately, if someone slips one by me like that and then wins the game,
then that's how it goes, you know?
I'm like Alex Trebek if I hadn't I mean if he had integrity doesn't make any
sense all right the prize bag I brought some stuff and then my guests brought
some stuff but I brought a Douglas movies t-shirt and a notepad from Copy Central in Traverse City, Michigan.
And a CD of a comedian that's coming out on Special Thing Records,
which I'm on that label as well.
This comes out on Friday.
It's by Mike Bridenstine, and it's called The Hungry Wolf Hunts Best.
And on the cover, he's got blood on his face and meat in his hands.
Oh, this is cool.
When you sit in first class on an airplane they give you this little thing with some
toothpaste and deodorant in it.
So I'm giving that away.
All three sizes
of the Christmas pipe
from Peacemaker.
A sippy cup from when I saw a Broadway show and had my vodka
vodka soda, my Tito's and soda, a copy of my CD professional... promotional...
It's a good thing it's written right on there I almost said professional tool
But that would work
Maybe that could be the follow up
Actually the follow up
My new CD is coming out on August 18th
Also on Special Thing Records
And it's
Thank you
It's called Lexington, Kentucky 5717
Because that's when and where it happened
And it's basically
just a recording of what my stand-up shows are like like almost like a you
know like how bands put out you know bootlegs or people make bootlegs of a
band performance this is one very specific performance it's a very lexicon
Lexington Kentucky based performance also card, a blue card from Getting Dug With High.
I brought all that stuff but my guests also brought some stuff so please give a
big World Morecum. God damn it.
Holy shit. I might have to just say that from now on.
I don't even know what it was.
Please give a big mom, mom, mom.
Mom, mom, mom.
Please welcome Aya Cash, Desmond Borges, and Kumail Nanjiani!
Yay! Ash Desmond Borges and Kumail Nanjiani! Hot crowd, literally and figuratively.
It's actually a lot less hot,
in temperature, less hot than I thought it was going to be.
This is nice.
It's a warm day out there,
so I'm grateful that someone here at the comic book store
turned on some sort of fan or something.
I'm actually kind of chilly.
Can we put the heat on?
Well, listen.
Welcome to weight loss and movie trivia.
Two great things that go great together.
Usually movie trivia, you're drinking a beer
and eating fish and chips or something, right?
On a Tuesday night.
They should have like SoulCycle and movie trivia.
Whoa.
Or just even
SoulCycling game show
like where you're just
engaged with questions
and answers
and winning and losing
and you're not even
thinking about
how you're SoulCycling.
That's it.
I love it.
I think we figured it out.
Yeah, I think we figured
out a way for us
to have a thing
no one goes to.
This version's much better.
Everyone just likes just sitting there while this is going on.
And let's meet my guests individually, starting with...
I'm sorry, but I don't have a little table for you to put your water on.
Don't forget to use your microphone voice. That's all right
Gretchen on you're the worst on FXX it's I
Make it sound louder. I
Always your first name has a very spiff-sific.
Spiff-sific?
Pef-snific.
It's definitely.
Pef-snific.
Spliff-sific.
It's very spliff-sific.
Because that's why we started at 430 today.
I used to play a lot of cards down in the Commerce Casino
with a lot of Asian and...
Where is this going?
Hispanic.
That should be the end of the story.
No, that's not it.
I've played cards with Asians.
Asians, Hispanics, just people from all over the world.
That's so kind of you.
So generous, Doug. Card card players but card players sure
have you spent time in a card room at all no okay you have death all right they're too diverse for
me yeah right i like being here i wonder if any card players saw The Big Sick
because they thought it was a card movie
and they thought they were seeing The Big Slick.
Uh-huh.
Because that's a hold'em expression.
Do you know what it means?
No.
If you have an ace and a king in your hand,
that's called Big Slick.
I see.
That's right.
Oh, Aya knows it?
Yeah, I play cards.
All right.
Not in card rooms, though.
Okay.
Yeah, too many Asians, right, Aya?
I like to be the only one. But this is what would happen when something would happen in the game that was exciting
or upsetting or it was an all-purpose thing, they'd go, aya!
They'd scream that all the time.
Even the Latinos?
That's what I'm saying.
Everybody started doing it.
I don't know what section, what group of people started it but I say all play
cards together all the time they just all say it oh yeah I like that I don't
want to yeah I don't know so anyway I think of that when I think of your name
I had a similar conversation with Sandra oh it did it did not go well. Oh!
I'm like, I think of you every time I'm making love. Oh, God.
Oh!
Oh, yeah, I thought you yelled,
Sandra!
Or Big Slick.
Yeah, that doesn't make any sense.
That's a real non sequitur.
You're the worst.
Awkward pause.
It's coming back.
Yeah, September 6th is the fourth season.
Oh, wow.
Wow.
Can you give us a hint about what Gretchen's up to
that wouldn't give away too much?
I smoke crack this season.
I think you just gave away too much.
So that's probably like a whole arc, right?
It's probably not a...
Not really.
Oh, yeah, you could just do it the one time.
You could just do it a couple times and you're fine.
You could just do a oney?
Yeah, everyone should experiment with that.
All right, well, if anybody's got some, I'll try it once today.
I'll try it in the parking lot instead of my usual fare.
Also, we're broken up.
That's the big thing.
But that's not a real spoiler, because you'll find out real quick.
Right.
Doesn't it seem like you're on the precipice of either marriage or breakup at the end of
the last season?
Well, he left me after proposing
to me. Right, so that's why I called it that.
The proposal still
counts, doesn't it? Yeah.
Doesn't matter that he just ran off.
Yeah, okay. So that's the
sort of the cliffhanger going into the
new season.
Des will give you more. He will?
I guess so. Alright, give it to me.
Also from You're the Worst,
he plays Edgar.
That's right, it's Desmond Borges!
I taught my son
the Dikembe Mutombo no no no.
So I just kind of do that all the time
now.
How old is your son?
One.
Okay.
Yeah.
God damn it.
You should have said 32.
That would have been hilarious.
He's actually my uncle.
It's uncle.
Getting a little warm.
It's really hot in here.
Yeah.
I spoke too soon.
Yeah.
I am getting so hot.
I'm gonna take
so what do you
what can you tell us about Edgar on the new season
oh man shit's going great
he's on season
two of writing Doug
Love sketches
making that killer
the character Doug Benson is gonna
reappear this season
that's right
as the boss man yeah I'm so brilliant too It's true. The character Doug Benson is going to reappear this season. That's right.
As the boss man.
That's right.
Yeah, I'm so brilliant, too.
I'm a brilliant boss.
You really look up to me.
I do.
I love that.
I'm nervous being here right now.
But no, I start making some dope-ass money and find a new dope-ass friend.
I like that. I mean, I
would be happy to see a whole season
where nothing bad happens to you.
I'm so hot I'm going to take my fanny pack off.
I'm sorry. I feel like anything
is a good start, right?
Can I do shoes? Is that going to gross
everyone out?
There were people who were just like
It's not like we're in coach.
I wouldn't take my shoes off
because I'm just not going to put my feet's not like we're in coach. They were saying no, but they were saying yes. I wouldn't take my shoes off because...
I'm just not going to put
my feet on the ground.
There we go.
See?
Let's get this
from the internet.
The mail does not respect
my decision at all.
I think you're going to find
pictures of your feet
on the internet tomorrow.
Guys,
these are a five
on WikiFeet.
I just want to show you
what a five looks like.
Wait,
out of how much?
Out of a hundred?
Is that right? Or is that, are they just counting you have the correct number five on wiki feet i just want to show you what a way out of how much out of 100.
is that right or is that are they just counting the you have the correct number of toes
sets these are only five out of five let's be real five is the maximum you get on wiki feet
wait you you submitted your own feet no i did own feed. They just do it without your permission. Is there a hotter knot for feed?
Basically.
There's a wiki feed. Wait, so you're on wiki feed and people rate your feed?
Yes.
And you're a five out of five?
Yes.
It's basically the highlight of my career.
So let me have it.
Wow.
Our good friend Nikki Glaser is probably a one.
Or can it go lower than one?
Does she have shitty ass feet
Oh she showed them
On her show one time
She has the most
Jacked up feet
You'll ever see
Why
What happened
Yeah she's open about it
I didn't just out her
She talks about
Her shitty ass feet
Yeah
Yeah
Those aren't her words though
Her
Her fucked up gross
Fucking feet
I think she calls them
I think she calls him Janky.
That's Kumail Nanjiani, everybody.
Hey.
Do we not talk about what we've brought for prizes?
I mean, I get to that, you know.
Okay.
We gotta kill 90 minutes here.
Great.
Thank you for having me. It's been a little
while. It's been a minute. You were gonna
be on and then I had a plane issue.
I couldn't get here for my own show.
And that was very sad.
And you know what else was very sad?
You and I were on the very first episode
of At Midnight. Yeah.
And then not on the last one. Why were we
not on the last one? I think we were busy.
Did you get asked?
No, but I was busy.
I was busy.
I just was kind of holding out hope that they knew I was busy.
Or did you find something so that you could say you were busy once you were not asked?
That's why I said to Pete Holmes, I need to be on your show as an excuse to not be there when they asked me to be on the last yeah it was
the cancellation or and it's not what you want to call it it went down so recently like three weeks
ago they decided it wasn't gonna be a show anymore yeah and then there wasn't time for me to get on
one last time and i would have especially liked to be on that last one yeah especially because it
wasn't just three people they had like 40 people people. Yeah. They had a lot of people.
I think in one of the last episodes, they even used hashtag butts.
Or no, Chris Hardwick in his final thanks for watching my show ended it with hashtag butts. Yeah, you know.
Which you started on the very first episode.
I started and they sell merch that says hashtag butts.
They do?
Yeah.
Are you getting some residuals off that?
No.
What the fuck?
I get nothing.
It's just like hashtag butts. No shirt residuals? What off that? No! What the fuck? I get nothing. It's just like, hashtag butts.
No shirt residuals?
What's SAG doing?
What the fuck?
I think then Will Wheaton said it once, and everyone was like,
oh, Will Wheaton came up with a hilarious thing, hashtag butts.
And I was like, no!
That was me, but I can't say it, because then I seem petty.
And then they won't have me on the last episode.
Yeah, that's probably why they didn't have you on the last episode.
They didn't need all this to come out.
Yeah, geez.
Oh, God.
It was a happy celebration.
Edit that out.
Thank you.
Hashtag butts.
Yeah, yeah.
It was a fun show.
It was cool because it was, I think, a way that a lot of people found their new favorite comedians.
Like, you know, like a lot of...
I can't remember anyone who's done that fucking show.
Me and you.
I geeked out over Steve Agee
when he came to do our show
because I was watching At Midnight
and I'd seen him on At Midnight
and I made him tell me everything.
Yeah.
That's probably what he's most known for
is At Midnight. Either that or
blocking the sun.
I love a
pot shot at a guy that's not even here.
Yeah. It's because it started off kind of
mean. He's a big guy. Yeah, he is a big
guy. He's a big fella, but he was always a great
guest on the show. He got to be on the last episode.
Yeah, you were one of the winningest
ones, right? I won the most.
But now the record is already gone.
Nobody cares because it's not a show anymore.
People are saying Ron
Funches won the most. Not true.
Yeah, so Funches is your
Wheaton. He did have a better batting average.
Yeah, he did have a better
batting average than me, that's for sure.
Yeah, he had less at-bats and more
wins. I batted 500 500 he probably batted more like 650 or seven okay that's why he was if i
understand how that works i'm not a i'm not a baseball guy really dividing yeah sure a thousand
would be the best just like on wikifeet. You have five out of a thousand.
Batting 750 is incredibly difficult, by the way.
Yeah, no, I've always heard batting 500 as an expression that means you're doing great in baseball.
Yeah.
But anywhere else in life, doing half as well as you could is not that great.
Except acting.
Auditioning.
If you get half your auditions, you're killing it. Oh're killing oh okay yeah i thought you meant while you're auditioning if you do to give half the performance how if you
if half the movies you're in are good is that is that a good that's pretty good right one every
seven years that's good yeah i'm in one that one half of it is good the half she's not in I apologize if
people yell at you that way on the street. Because of this.
But Kumail is officially now, I'd
say, a movie star.
Oh, come on.
Stop it.
Stop it.
I've started a countdown
calendar to the day you won't come
on this show anymore.
You don't get movie stars
on here?
Name one other than Jon Hamm.
Fuck.
I shouldn't have come. But some have been on.
I'm saying, I get them on once
or twice, you know, because you get them at
the right time. And then next thing you
know, they're like starring in Skull Island
and won't return my calls.
Who's he talking about?
Brie Larson?
Yeah, yeah.
Good call.
No, Sam Jackson.
Yeah, that was his big break.
Finally.
Oh, when's that guy
going to be anything?
When's he going to be
in every movie that comes out?
Oh, yeah, there's that thing that's about to open the hangman bodyguards daughter it's
equal to the Kevin Costner Whitney Houston it's called the sisters hit man
no no it's like the hangman's body sister.
What is it called?
It's called the bodyguard's hitman's... Hitman's bodyguard.
Right, that does make sense.
Why would a hitman need a bodyguard?
Oh, shit, premise made.
He's already a hitman.
Just hit the people attacking you.
God, I hope that movie's a huge hit
so I have a bit for a couple years.
But hitmen sneak up on people.
The bodyguards just have to stand there
and be prepared for whatever comes at them.
That's right.
So they'll make an excellent team, I think.
I think in the end, they're going to work things out.
Wouldn't it be hilarious, though,
if one of them did just die, especially the hitman?
The hitman, yeah.
If the bodyguard's just like, well, I tried.
I'm just a bodyguard.
You're a fucking hitman.
The hitman's bodyguard.
Right.
It has to be Liam Neeson, though, right?
What?
Please tell me they cast Liam Neeson.
No.
Y'all have seen Taken, Olive O he just kills everyone I was I went with it I
would you were taken I was taken and I it was on TV like I waited for the
commercial you want to get on TV yeah in canada canada what else are you gonna do
this story has so much to it i wish the line in the original movie is you're gonna be taken
on a journey to an exotic locale i just saw split i saw it now i just saw it too yeah yeah
was the ending a surprise for you?
No.
The very ending.
No.
I'd known about it.
Yeah, me too.
I did not guess it.
I heard about that.
But then when I saw it at the end there,
they bring up something that I think I can mention.
Has Split been around long enough?
Yeah.
They say that Sam Jackson's character in Unbreakable
yeah
has
split personality disorder
what
I don't think
they say he has a personality problem
don't
well he's definitely got a personality problem
yeah
he does
he's a fucking dick
yeah
what do you think it is they say about him
when they bring up
when they're talking to women in the diner
they're talking about Mr. Glass
and they go he has a similar problem to? When they bring up, when they're talking to women in the diner, they're talking about Mr. Glass and they go,
he has a similar problem to this guy they just arrested.
Just that they're like sort of like super villains in a world where there
shouldn't be.
Super fucked up?
Yeah.
Where they're like, oh, he was a fucked up guy who went by a different name.
Now there's another fucked up guy who goes by a different name.
And it's a horde.
They're both fucked up, but they also both have serious problems that are.
Yeah. I really thought we were talking about multiplicity for like half this conversation.
I was like, split!
I think I would have liked...
You and Michael Keaton being eight people, right?
You were worried that we might have thought that multiplicity hadn't been out long enough?
Are we okay in multiplicity? Can we finally?
I finally saw The Founder
and I think that would have been a better movie
if Michael Keaton played all the roles.
Yeah.
Except for Nick Offerman's part.
That's the only one that should get to keep his part.
Is that a good one?
The Founder?
I didn't watch all of it,
but I liked what I saw.
You know where it ends.
I saw part of it on a plane.
Yeah, exactly. I was like, this guy's going to really liked what I saw. You know where it ends. I saw part of it on a plane. Yeah, exactly.
I was like, this guy is going to really make this work out.
Yeah.
Does it take?
This guy, Ray, is really hustling to steal this franchise from these innocent men that don't know better.
Because it's all about he fucks over two guys that actually came up with the idea of McDonald's.
Yeah.
It's Facebook.
It's.
It is. It's Facebook. It is.
Instead of the social network, they should have called it the food network.
The food network.
Very good. Very good.
Points!
Points!
Points!
What did you think of Split?
I'll tell you this.
I liked a lot of it.
I feel like that there is a certain thing in it
that made it very hard for me to watch.
There's like some abuse stuff in it
that's like really too hardcore
for me to handle on an airplane.
Like it just was like,
do you know what I'm talking about?
I felt like it was
too much for me.
I couldn't handle it.
Well, you feel that way
about, like,
women in Jeopardy!
in general?
No, that's fine.
Because that does come up
a lot in movies.
Yeah.
No, the women in Jeopardy!
Being imprisoned and...
Her backstory. Yeah, yeah. The main girl's backstory. Yeah, the women in Jeopardy being imprisoned and... Her backstory.
Yeah, yeah.
The main girl's backstory.
Yeah, the backstory's fucked up.
It's so...
I'm like,
we're already in a creepy enough movie.
Why are we flashing back
to the lovely bones?
Right.
Yes.
It was a little too rough for me.
Yeah.
So that made it hard for me
to watch that movie.
But it was rough,
but it was also teasing.
It was implying a lot without being
very specific which I guess is good
I like that your problem
was that it wasn't specific
enough but I met that guy that plays
her uncle or her fucked up uncle
and you met him
yeah he's in I was at the premiere
of the movie Green Room and there was a guy that's in
the movie that would not stop laughing and talking really loudly behind me the entire time
and i was really irritated with him and then the house lights came up and the guy said hello to me
because he was a fan and uh he was one of the stars of green room he was like did you see green
room yeah he's one of the guys in green he's the bouncer that gets his fucking arm broke yeah i
remember yeah i remember yeah i just put that together but that guy's a green he's the bouncer that gets his fucking arm broke yeah i remember yeah i remember
yeah i just put that together but that guy's a really good actor and another another huge human
being and uh but but he was very nice when i met him but boy was he irritating to sit in front of
he was just talking through his own movie premiere of his movie that he probably hadn't seen yet
oh man like just like reacting like aya like it's
it's aya!
Aya!
Points.
All right.
Okay, so where are we supposed to be right now?
We're supposed to figure out what you guys brought for the prize.
Oh, yeah, let's do it.
Go ahead.
Aya, you go first. Aya, You can go first. Okay. I forgot.
And then this is a
Barkin' Bitches bag, which is where I adopted
my dog. There's not...
The dog stuff's for my dog.
But I did go to Jewish Council
Thrift instead.
And I got...
You got artifacts from the past.
Yes.
I figure, you know, some people can't afford Netflix.
So, I have 2001 Space Odyssey.
These are all DVDs for people at home.
Yeah.
The Princess Bride, Ferris Bueller's Day Off,
and Clueless, the whatever edition,
which I've never heard of.
That's funny.
I was like, yeah, but let's be real.
Nobody has DVD players anymore,
so then I felt bad.
You got some super iconic shit here.
People quote all of these
in their daily lives.
No, these are all great movies.
Yeah, all those 2001
A Space Odyssey quotes.
Yeah.
Yeah, people love to say
open the pod bay doors.
But no, like saying in a robot voice and then saying how or whatever that was.
They're all iconic.
But people do still have, of course, video game players and stuff.
I do.
I have, oh God.
A PlayStation?
I have a place upstate.
I have a house that's a second house.
Now I'm horrified that I'm sharing this.
I'm bougie.
And we don't have TV, and we just watch movies on DVDs.
So if you're bougie, you've gone back the other way.
Uh-huh, sure.
Okay.
I'm going to make up for it, though.
But if you say we don't have TV, you should also say we watch DVDs.
Yeah, DVDs.
Be consistent in that.
What else you got?
Alright, and then I felt bad, so I got a $50
gift certificate to John and Vinny's, which is really
yummy. Oh, okay.
Lovely. Wow.
I don't know why you feel
guilty about bringing all those movies.
Those are all great movies.
That's a great contribution. Oh, thank you guys. Thanks for propping me up.
I'd say if the winner today hasn't seen any one of these
four movies, that that's what they should do tonight.
If they're not going to see
The Big Sick.
Or Game of Thrones.
I'm just here to promote Game of Thrones.
I have nothing to do with it, but
if there's like dragons.
It's on.
Winter is here.
Before we get into Desmond, I just want to say that I honestly think that there's some Academy Award possibilities for The Big Sick.
Oh, my goodness.
Doug, stop it.
Jeez.
Yes.
Tenfold.
Oh, my God.
Please.
Well, that's very nice of you to say, but thank you.
Yeah.
Holly Hunter.
Holly Hunter.
Previous winner, Oscar favorite, great in the movie.
She's amazing.
Ray Romano is, like, knocking people, blowing their minds with every new role he takes cuz he's
always great he's a start off is like you know like Seinfeld's not doing
awesome dramatic work now neither is Roseanne or Tim Allen none of them are
like he's the only ones like I'm gonna go over here
to this.
I'm doing a lot more impressions these days,
by the way.
Yeah, really good.
In case you hadn't noticed.
I also like that he says,
I'm going to go over here
as if that's what,
like, oh, movie career.
I'll go over here.
No, no, no.
You guys go that way.
I'm over here.
B movie?
Not for me.
I'm going to go over here.
Kurt Braunohler could win an Oscar.
He's great.
But he's great as one of your comedy friends
along with Bo Burnham.
Bo Burnham, Aidy Bryant.
Aidy Bryant.
Anyway, applaud if you haven't seen it.
What are you clapping for?
I love that it wasn't enthusiastic applauding.
We were just getting the numbers.
Somebody woohooed for not having seen it.
I haven't seen it.
Go see it, guys.
It's still in theaters everywhere.
Yes, go see it.
See it on the big screen.
It's still in theaters everywhere.
You're seeing his face normal size. See it on the big screen. It's still in theaters everywhere. You're seeing his face
normal size.
See it bigger.
Do you like this?
Do you want bigger?
Oh, I bet you
could do a good De Niro.
No.
Yeah, you were
starting to do it again.
Yes.
Yeah.
One of the most legendary actors of all time.
He's like this, right?
It's that easy.
Well, I'll just say what I have.
Oh, okay. We don't have to go in order.
Well, just because it relates, I have a Big Sick
mug. Nice.
I have a Big Sick hoodie and I have a signed...
Watch, it's gonna fall.
And I have a signed Big Sick poster
of me and
me and Emily.
Gordon, my wife, we wrote
the movie together. My wife!
We wrote it together, so that's what you get
and there's a hoodie also.
Yeah.
That's another category I'm looking at.
Original screenplay.
Oh, come on.
I'm telling you, man.
Doug.
It's a, you know, let's be honest here.
It's a category where, you know, things can squeak in because...
That feels good and bad.
Right?
No, but it's...
We're some undeserved piece of shit sometimes.
It's just strange that Oscar caliber,
like Oscar bait kinds of movies
tend to be based on a source material,
like books or plays and shit.
Whereas the original screenplay
is where, you know, like a Ex Machina
or something like that will get in there.
And I think your movie is just as good.
Oh, my God. Thank you. Thank you.
Well, it's still in theaters. Go see it. Thank you.
Big Sick, if you liked Ex Machina, you'll love Big Sick.
Ex Machina has a little more dancing in it, but other than that,
other than that, they're pretty similar.
It does have that dancing scene. It does have a dance number that they're pretty similar it does have that
it does have a dance number that the big sick does not have no which why couldn't you you know
have like a fantasy sequence in the hospital all right so uh desmond gorgeous what do you got
the fantasy sequence is kill bill no please don't ever understand what I just said.
Yeah, somebody did.
He has sex with her.
I know. I know.
Oh, I was doing what Daryl...
Daryl Hall?
Daryl Hannah.
I was doing what Daryl Hall
and John Oates were whistling
as they walked down the hallway in nurses' uniforms.
Yeah, that's it.
What do you got?
Oh.
Same question.
Yeah, oh, different answer.
I was hanging out with my little guy today.
That's my son.
Yeah, when I say it, it's just about me yeah um and uh and so you know you know we were hanging out we were walking uh in highland
park and i took him over to the donut friend because he hadn't been introduced to it yet
um and uh i picked him up and I said,
pick out which donuts you like.
And he picked out four donuts that
all seem to kind of be
chocolatey in nature, except for
an apple fritter. And he does not know this,
but their apple fritters are my favorite fucking
apple fritters, so I know he's my son.
But there's like a Nutella vision.
Do you want to go on Maury?
No.
son.
But there's like a Nutella vision. Oh, so you don't have to go on Maury? No.
The old
donut test.
You like donuts?
You like the one thing everybody loves?
You're my son.
Wait, you like donuts too?
I don't even know where the fuck I was.
That one was great.
All right, yeah.
So this is from Donut Friend in Highland Park on York.
It's great.
It's pretty spectacular.
Best donuts in LA.
They do donut sandwiches, right?
Yeah, they do.
They'll cut them open, throw some ice.
They do a donut one with like speculous cookie butter
in the middle of the donut.
Yeah, and then they do a little chocolate on top
with like a...
Speculus?
Speculus?
It sounds a little like gynecologist-y.
It's like graham cracker...
I have had it.
...jizz cookies.
I don't know what.
Graham cracker jizz cookies.
Pick those up at your nearest dispensary.
It's so hot, I can't even think about what I'm saying.
Yeah, this is fine.
Anyway, there's like a Butterfinger one.
He got S'moresy and an Apple Fritter,
and them shits are delicious.
And I also got a Donut Friend gift card
so that you can go and pick out whichever ones you like
if you don't like what my son chose.
Do you go there often, Desmond? I do. I go there
all the time. Right there's the mark of a good
donut when it's eating through the box.
Hell yeah. Yeah, when it really
wants to get out into the world.
It's so good.
Do you go there often? I don't live too close
to there, but I've been a few times.
I really love it. I actually know because of this
lady right here. She introduced me for the
first time a couple years ago.
And then Des brings me donuts on set sometimes.
That's right.
It's very sweet.
You know, if we're having a bad day,
I just fucking Postmates in a couple dozen donuts
from Donut Friends, and everyone peps right up.
That's great.
Don't you wish he was on your show?
Excuse me?
Don't you wish he was on your show?
I do.
Does TJ Miller, I mean...
Hi-yah! Hi-yah! Don't you wish he was on your show? I do. Does T.J. Miller... I mean... Yes, finish the question.
Does T.J. Miller...
Like donuts?
I think I know the answer.
Well, if the question is,
does T.J. Miller,
and then anything else after it, the answer is always yes. I know the answer. Well, if the question is just T.J. Miller and then anything else after it,
the answer is always yes.
No, the answer is yeah!
Denver, yeah!
But was there a donut bringer
on the set of Silicon Valley?
We did get donuts every day in the afternoon
like at Crafty, there was always,
and they were, you know,
I know cronut was a fad for a little while,
but they're so good.
Oh, I just had one for the first time.
I was like, what is this?
And how does it enter my body on a regular basis?
I'm so hot.
By mouth.
Or.
You can't just smush your highly rated feet into them and have it just...
They are so good though, right?
Her feet?
Five out of five.
Now I normally ask all the panelists what movies they've seen lately,
but I was telling me previous to the show
that you haven't had time to see any movies really.
I did.
I watched a movie like a month ago on demand.
Oh, okay.
Called I, Daniel Blake.
Oh, I just saw that at a film festival.
Heartbreaking.
Heart.
I cried very hard.
And those actors are incredible. Everybody in it it's amazing it's very naturalistic wires hallie squires maybe i've never heard of her
i mean like just brilliant performances ken loach it's a ken loach movie and it's and it has
subtitles no when i saw it it did really yeah were you Were you in Canada too? Because the accents are so thick.
And I was kind of bummed out by it because I'd rather try to figure out what they're saying.
Yeah, I watched it without subtitles.
There you go.
It's British or something?
British, yeah.
Yeah, but it's really, it's just about this older gentleman dealing with,
trying on his own to deal with all the red tape of just getting his benefits.
And it's fucking brutal.
Yeah, he's had a heart condition
and he can't work, but they won't
I mean, you know.
This is part of the MCU?
No, but it is part of the TCU.
Did you hear that The Conjuring
has the nerve to be a universe now?
The new Annabelle movie,
Annabelle Creation, it's from
The Conjuring Universe.
It says it on the poster.
Really?
I will say I like...
I know you like those movies.
I do.
What we've done, we've interrupted those movies.
Annabelle, the guy that directed the new Annabelle Creation,
he brought Annabelle as his name tag to a Douglass movies
and sat in the front row.
And I was like, if Kim Hill was here,
he probably wouldn't be able to proceed with the show.
That guy was here? Wow. The guy with the
fucking doll. Annabelle was sitting in the front
row. Oh, wow.
You would not have been able to handle that,
I don't think. Did you get Annabelle? What? Did you get to keep
the doll? No.
He brought a fucking real Annabelle
from the movie.
There's like two of them, I guess. And this guy
drives around with one so he can go in the carpool lane.
So is I, Daniel Blake,
it's a tough watch.
Yes.
Like uncontrollable sobbing.
Yeah, it's pretty intense.
It's real rough.
I saw it at the Traverse City Film Festival
where they show a lot of real heavy movies.
So for three days in a row,
it was like sobbing at the end of movies.
Traverse City Film Festival.
Michael Moore picks all the movies,
so they're all left-leaning cry fests.
It's a very emotional experience.
That was my favorite genre
at Blockbuster
left leaning cry
fests oh god
Drafthouse is doing that
yeah Drafthouse is doing that
oh yeah Drafthouse made a special
menu in conjunction with you
for Big Sick where you had an actual
Pakistani meal that you could order while you watched the movie.
Yeah, we sort of worked with them.
I mean, I didn't come up with any of the recipes.
I just talked to the chef and was like,
these are the things.
I sent him like 15 things.
And then he sort of picked four and combined different ones
and sort of came up with his own versions of it.
And the food is so fucking good.
I went and like, you can like watch the movie
and eat the food that we're eating
in the there's a lot of food eating in the movie um and it's like it was the draft house has been
so fucking great to us with this movie they've been so cool and you realize like if a movie
theater like purse has like a personal like if it's a brand that people trust you get some people
like like they said we we recommend The Big Sick
and all their theaters,
our movie did way better
like than any other theaters.
They just like,
they just come out and say it.
Don't see this one on theater four.
Go to theater five
because that's what people
are worried about now
with Rotten Tomatoes
is that Rotten Tomatoes
and Fandango are owned
by the same people.
And so they put the Rotten Tomatoes is that Rotten Tomatoes and Fandango are owned by the same people and so they put the
the Rotten Tomatoes
review
next to every
title
in every theater
so you're looking
for a movie to see
why would you pick something
that's got 6%
on Rotten Tomatoes
when there's ones that have
98%
98%
yeah which one is that
well
cause I was reading
a specific article
yeah
I was reading a specific article. Yeah?
I was reading a specific article because T.J. Miller tweeted the link.
Oh, yeah, two Silicon Valley people had movies out this summer,
and combined, the score was 104.
Yeah.
So, fuck the haters. Why did i do this
hey you can't numbers don't lie man numbers don't lie but it is an interesting point that
by the way i love i have this that was just uh you're just joking around the movie fucking
made uh it still made 20 million its first weekend because they were clever
and they didn't let any critics see it until, you know, like the day before it opened.
Yeah.
Which, you know.
It fooled people into thinking that the Emoji movie might be.
The Friday night crowd just goes anyway.
And especially for a movie like that, it plays mostly to under 18 anyhow.
So they just went and the movie made some money.
I've understood,
because our movie
has come out this summer
and it's been really interesting
because I've been following
how all the other movies
are doing
and how we're doing and stuff.
The way they make these movies,
there's no risk.
So there's always a floor.
Even if they tank,
they make them
so that it'll make
above a certain amount of money.
If you spend a certain amount
on advertising,
you'll get a certain amount of money back.
And so you see, like, it's, like, kind of heartbreaking.
You'll, like, because our movie, you know,
I'm very proud of our movie, and it did really well,
but you'll see something come out that's, like, horrible,
and it still makes, like, you know, like $20 million
in the first weekend or something.
Which, like, for, like, a bad movie, $20 million?
Like, they shouldn't be making 20 million dollars.
But some
of those same movies if they had been
better would have made 78.
You know like they would have been. You know some of
these sequels.
I think Rotten Tomatoes is really
hitting all these sequel movies hard
because they're just not as good as the earlier
ones. And in the case of Transformers,
I don't know why anybody ever liked any of it.
Unless you're a 10-year-old, you know?
Have you noticed the thing that happens on Rotten Tomatoes now
to the political stuff that's happening,
where people will tank movies based on if it's left or right?
My husband just did a show called Reagan Show,
a documentary about reagan and um
someone from you know uh far right paper came out and was like how dare you tear down reagan
and their rotten tomatoes thing dropped 80 percent well they do that the user rating yeah just like
went tanked within a day of that being released. Oh, yeah, but user ratings, they're already like,
they tend to be a bigger number than the critics give a movie
because it's people that are going on the Friday night when it opens.
It's the people that are most excited about that movie.
So when they give it a low score on that first day,
like on that Saturday, that means that movie didn't even please the audience
that was most excited to see it.
Well, there's a weird thing called, I'm sure you know CinemaScore, that like when people
go on Thursday night, they poll them and just based on that, they can tell how long the
movie is going to play.
And everything goes by CinemaScore.
So if you get like a really good good cinema score, it's so predictable.
They can be like,
oh, this movie's going to be in the theaters
for three months.
Whereas if something gets a low cinema score,
they're like, oh, it'll go.
And they can predict it.
Three months is a long time now, though, too.
Yeah, it's huge.
Especially in the summer,
there's so many movies coming out all the time.
There's a new big thing that's being pushed really hard.
Like, you know, everybody went to Dark Tower,
and it got terrible reviews. I'm going to save it to interrupt it sometime i think i'll do that with you because
i like to do those i like to do them without ever having seen the movie oh really yeah the next i
think on september 19th we're gonna at the cine family here we're gonna do uh fast and furious 8.
fate of the furious yeah i haven't seen that that's the only. I haven't seen that.
That's the only one I haven't seen.
All right.
Well, I'll hit you up.
I saw...
Wait, really?
What?
Go ahead.
What happened?
I saw the Apes movie.
I was ready to move off of the what
if you'd just seen the topic
because we've taken so long with it.
Sorry.
I saw the Apes movie yesterday.
I went alone
because Emily was like, I've seen the first two. They're too depressing. I won long with it. Sorry. I saw the Apes movie yesterday. I went alone because Emily was like,
I've seen the first two.
They're too depressing.
I won't see it.
It's amazing.
It's just so hard to watch.
It's so difficult.
For me,
it's like if I'm watching
like Schindler's List,
I get it.
Like that's real shit
that happened.
I should see it.
Good.
I saw it.
This is a movie we're talking
monkeys why am i crying for two and a half hours yeah it's it's pretty weird how dramatic it is
it's like the idea of the initial planet of the apes movies through all five of them i always
thought was that they're still fun movies even though the apes are being oppressed and they come
back and then they get oppressed again you know it's a whole cycle in the series they're still fun movies even though the apes are being oppressed and they come back and then they get oppressed again.
It's a whole cycle in the series.
They're like pulpy movies.
But this one, yeah, and all these actors
with the dots all over their faces
acting up a storm.
Acting up a storm?
Just so dramatic.
And Woody Harrelson shaving his head
while giving a speech. Who does that?
Yeah, he's totally like Fury Roading that movie.
God damn it.
It's just like we made an ape.
It's got human eyes.
It talks like a human.
Watch its babies die.
Have some popcorn.
These aren't spoilers.
I loved it, but it's like such a...
They're so...
It's a war movie that's mostly apes.
There's not even...
There's not that many human characters.
Woody Harrelson's the only one.
Woody Allen should have been in it.
Woody Allen should have been in it.
Although there is...
If I just...
If I could...
Enough monkey business. Wow. if I just, if I could.
Enough monkey business.
Wow.
He's trying to think of the kind of thing he would say.
There is a monkey,
there is a comic relief ape in it.
Steve Zahn?
No.
It's, it's, what's his name?
He's a great actor.
It's, he's from Dunkirk on the boat.
What's that actor's name? Oh, Mark Rylance's name Oh Mark Rylance yeah Mark Rylance he's the funny one yeah
he's great it's a great movie but just know that it's like not easy to watch
and then I saw Valerian very different experience how'd that go have you seen
it yes I saw it today.
You saw it today?
What'd you think?
I thought the visuals were good
and
I like
Cara Delevingne.
I think she's
interesting to watch
and
that is it.
That's what I liked about it
but I had to see it
on the big screen
just because it's even more
pointless on a small one.
Yeah.
I mean that world is
Because the effects
are really cool.
The world is amazing.
Yeah.
It's like gorgeous.
It looks cool.
You just wish like
some interesting characters
would run in and take over.
Like they're just given lines
that are just like
the banter is just
way too simple and but it's
also again this is a thing we were kind of talking about about knowing how much a movie is going to
make it doesn't matter how it does in the states the states is just kind of like a throwaway thing
like let's see how it does but it doesn't matter because internationally it's just going to be huge
like transformers is not necessary to watch it no in fact have an idea of what's going on it's a
hint yes yes knowing what they're saying knowing what they're saying hurts but i really like the
scene with rihanna where she kept changing into different rihanna was great in it yeah
rihanna was great and it was way better than her turn in battleship
she was a little miscast over there. This time they're like dancing alien
and I'm like, yes.
It also is this weird moment where she's sort of
like a stripper and then
he's like, no, no, no. And she has like a
stripper name or something and he's like, no, I want to get to
know you. What's your real name? And her
real name is Bubble, which is like
a stripper name. Why would they not pick
a normal name for like her real name?
Because when she's not impersonating a person she's she's made of bubbles race like that are
they all called bubble we're not called human face what about all what about the no Jar Jar is a Gungan very specific Gungan her name is bubble because she
looks like a bubble yeah all right I'm glad we got through that but the apes is
totally maybe one of those it's maybe the best do you think it's the best
blockbuster trilogy other than Lord of the Rings?
Maybe.
It's got to be in the conversation.
This might be the first episode of the show
where we just give the prize to the best name tag.
We just give the bag to the one we all like.
No, we got time.
We can do this.
We're going to play some games.
Yeah, let's do it.
Yeah, an hour ago,
I was talking about killing 90 minutes.
Oh, my God.
Now it's an hour later.
So yeah,
Bert, turn the show off because I'm about to say
let the games begin!
Name tags! Step out of the shadows!
Got lots of good ones.
Go pick one.
While you do that,
we're going to go to a brief commercial message.
We'll be right back.
I'm going to put my shoes on.
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back to the show let's talk about it when we're back from the break. We're back. So.
Oh, shit.
So Kamel did not pick the Funko figure from Silicon Valley.
So what did you pick?
I picked Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2, The Secret of the Booze.
Oh, that's fun.
And there's a glowing bottle of Tito's at the bottom of it.
Yeah.
Are you a Tito's fan?
I'm a huge Ninja Turtles fan.
Oh, okay.
I saw this right when it came out.
Go Ninja, go Ninja, go.
Go Ninja, go Ninja, go.
That's right.
Go, go.
Yeah, no, I was there.
We might have seen it at the same theater.
Vanilla Ice.
Yeah, man.
Wasn't the move some shit like this where it was like... Yeah, no, I was there, man. We might have seen it at the same theater. Vanilla Ice. Yeah, man. Wasn't the move some shit like this where it was like...
Yeah, yeah.
It was kind of like a version of the Atlanta Falcons' Dirty Bird without the bird.
I thought the first Ninja Turtle movies worked great.
Okay, Desmond, what do you...
Yeah.
I missed out on the whole Ninja Turtle thing
I never got into it
and then Michael Bay got his hands on it
yeah
but that's
I feel about any property these days
a reboot might get it right
at some point
yeah I don't mind reboots.
It doesn't ruin the original thing for me,
and it's just another shot at getting another thing that you like.
Yeah, right?
Some people are mad about the new Jumanji,
and I'm like, I'm not that fond of the first Jumanji.
Take another crack at it. Go ahead.
I just saw the first Jumanji recently.
The effects do not...
They were bad at the time.
Like, it does not look like a rhino
is really running down the street.
It really has a weird, like,
like a video game quality to it.
Yeah, it's like sort of shiny, yeah.
Yeah.
All right, Desmond,
you got a picture of Tony Danza?
Yeah, Tony Danza, it must be from Who's the Boss.
It could be from a number of his projects around that time.
Yeah, he's got a good...
Could be from Taxi.
Yeah, but nah, this doesn't seem like Taxi.
I mean, he's like, Samantha Mona, you know, something of that sort.
Oh, Mona.
So why did you pick that?
Oh, man, because I had a huge fucking crush
on Alyssa Milano when I was a little kid.
Oh, okay.
And, yo, I'm telling you,
if I could find this fucking yellow hybrid sweatshirt,
I would buy the shit out of that shit.
That's what's up.
And I always put a towel over my shoulder like that
when I'm grilling, so I don't know.
It just hit on so many levels, dog.
And so the guy's name that you got it from is Tony?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And his name is Tony. Good job, Tony.
Did you ever see Tony Danza in She's Outta Control?
No.
Yeah?
That's a movie he was in.
You should check it out.
What's the premise, real quick?
16-year-old daughter wants to fuck.
So who's the boss?
But those weren't his kids.
When it's his own kid,
that's all different stakes right there.
That's movies.
That's not TV.
Yeah, raise the stakes.
Make it his kid. Nobody ever fell into a pool on That's not TV. Yeah, raise the stakes. Make it his kid.
Nobody ever fell into a pool on Who's the Boss?
What they do and she's got to have it.
No, that's not it.
She's out of control.
I almost said she's got to have it.
Tony Diaz was great and she's got to have it.
He dances real good.
That also sounds like a movie about a 16-year-old girl trying to lose her virginity.
That girl wasn't much older, right?
I haven't seen that one.
You never saw She's Gotta Have It?
I haven't seen many She's Gotta movies.
You want women to make their own decisions?
Only six or seven minute clips online?
Yeah, just the clips online.
I haven't seen She's Out of My League.
I haven't seen...
All That?
I've seen All That. She's's out of my league I haven't seen all that I've seen all that she's not out of all that
she's all that
so that's alright
it's the girls that are out of things
what about you oughta be in pictures
I haven't seen that
no oughtas or attas
don't tell me what to do
don't tell me what they want to do.
Show me.
Like my film, The Big Sick.
Yeah, we don't tell you.
Someone gets sick and it's big.
It's big.
It's a big sick.
We trust you to figure it out.
Speaking of movies that are properly titled,
you found the Death Becomes Here poster.
It's the Beth Becomes Her poster. Do you like that movie?
I do. We were talking about it at the beginning because I saw
the name tag 25 years old this year.
I was... Meryl Streep?
Yep, she just turned 25
years old.
I can't believe that's
25 years old. It's my age.
How did I see it so young?
In one small bottle, the fountain of youth, the secret of eternal life, the power of an
ancient potion.
Sometimes it works.
Sometimes it doesn't.
Spoiler alert.
Bruce Willis dies eventually.
That's what it says on the poster.
I really like it.
I love that.
That is a long tagline.
Weird that they were giving away the ending that 25 years ago.
The first spoiler on a poster.
For real, though, from a weird side angle,
Bruce Willis looks a little like Paul F. Tompkins.
Oh, I see that.
He really does.
I can see that.
I can see that.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
That's what's up.
Go ahead, Paul.
Just put a hat on it and you're done.
In the remake, we can have Paul F. Tompkins.
Oh, he'd be great in that.
Who else is in the remake?
Who's playing Meryl Streep?
Because I'm clearly
Goldie Hawn.
Mamie?
Mamie?
Don't go easy.
Why not?
All right, fine.
It's Hollywood, yo.
That's what they do.
All right, so that's
who you guys are playing for.
No.
So the people
whose name tag you chose
will win all the prizes.
Pass Tony and Tito down here.
But this is also unique in that usually they just tape a Tito's bottle to the signs
because they know I like Tito's.
And this one's actually in the artwork.
So that's pretty impressive, I think.
All right.
What's the guy's name?
Dean.
Dean.
Good job, Dean.
All right. We've got time for a couple of games, I think.
How are we...
Is there another show here tonight in this facility?
Probably not till eight if there is one.
Can we go a couple minutes over?
Got anywhere you need to go, Ryan?
Producer Ryan says thumbs up.
So maybe we'll go a couple minutes over.
Oh, you do need to go somewhere?
That's what the thumbs up meant? I was like, do do need to go somewhere? That's what the thumbs up meant?
I was like, do you need to go somewhere?
And he's like...
He was literally hitching a ride out of here
to go to his next thing.
All right, so...
I saw Dunkirk.
I was going to do a game of,
it's not really, you don't win any points,
but it's just interesting to see what people's answers are
that some of the listeners enjoy
called love-like, hate-like,
or hate-love, could go either way at the end there.
But it's basically, I tell you the name of somebody
and you have to say a movie of theirs that you love,
a movie of theirs that you hate,
a movie of theirs that you like, just like,
you know, it's just okay,
and a movie of theirs that you hate yourself for liking.
Okay.
And I was going to make you and everyone
do the great Holly Hunter
and say Big Slick,
I almost called her Big Slick again,
Big Slick is disqualified.
Okay. But let's just
do best let's just keep it positive okay um favorite best holly hunter movie for me probably
broadcast news right uh it's such a great such a great movie uh and she's amazing in it you know
the same year she had well i i don't want to say the other movie that,
because other people might have that movie.
Well, it's not a game where you're trying to keep other titles from people.
She had Raising Arizona and Broadcast News come out the same year.
Back to back, yeah.
Yeah, they're both amazing and totally different.
Yeah, and also just, I don't know how well she knew the Coens.
I know she has a brief thing in their first movie I think she's in it oh really very quickly but yeah she
obviously is working with some of the best directors on two movies very early
on in her career yeah those two movies and they're totally different and she's
completely different in them and they're both like classics so I would say but for me broadcast news is the one that i really really that's my favorite all right
des well i mean i don't i my favorite all right can i guess yeah always oh how'd you know
because i know you love firefighters i do oh in the four and no i forest what i oh yeah
especially in the forest.
I'd like to watch him dump all that water.
Oh, man.
I feel like this is an inside joke right now.
There really was a Steven Spielberg movie,
Stalling Holly Hunter.
Stalling Holly Hunter.
I haven't seen it.
But it's like a ghost movie, right?
Whoopi Goldberg is also in it.
Okay.
It's Richard Dreyfus and uh john goodman but anyway but what's your favorite of hers i was gonna say raising arizona but okay
okay that's a great one to say but yeah all right i mean i'd say the piano but i i don't i like to
have fun when i go to the movies yeah Yeah. The thing is, depressing is shit.
Raising Arizona is one of those when you, like 30 seconds in, you're like, this is a great movie.
It's pretty sick.
The opening title card doesn't appear for like 15 minutes.
It's like one of the longest cold opens in a movie. Even when I've seen it so many times, you still start to get into it.
And then suddenly it says Raising Arizona.
And you're like, oh yeah, haven't done this part yet i love that when you're like oh the movie's just starting
all that wasn't even part of the movie yeah it's a trick you're thinking the whole thing went by
quicker yeah but that first sequence is uh so long i guess they didn't want to break it up
uh so many movies now don't even mess with any kind of title car i mean they'll have a title
card but they don't have the credits are all at the end
I sort of miss that
I like the credit sequences
they don't do credits at the end?
they do them at the end yeah
they don't do them at the beginning
so then they have to do every actor twice at the end
because they didn't do them at the beginning
I think the art of having the
it's a contractual thing
the title come at a thoughtful point rather than just
the beginning of the movie. It's like
a great thing that people don't use
enough. Like Guardians of the Galaxy
always does it. In both of them
they do it really well. Like when it comes up it's very...
It's so bizarre when it says
TriStar Pictures presents in Baby
Driver. It's right after that amazing
opening sequence. And I get tingly
every time. Which you should not get
over the name of the company
that made the movie. But just did like
great sequence and then the title start
and then that sequence is great.
But the title sequence with
Baby Groot dancing around is like
I can just watch that over and over again.
It's so good. Do you have a
favorite Holly Hunter? I mean, it's just
sad because I was going to say Raising Arizona 2.
No, that's a good pick, I think.
You know what's another one?
The Incredibles.
Yeah, that was possibly going to be mine,
is that she's, and that it's just her voice,
and it's still such a great performance.
All of those voice actors in that one were so good,
and I'm so psyched about Incredibles 2. Yeah, I think's going to be really hard to that up but i mean they can but
hopefully they won't um shout out top of the lake too yeah oh yeah performance i haven't seen any of
top of the lake it's spectacular it's like isn't uh eliz Elizabeth Moss going to do that and Handmaid's Tale?
She's just going to bop back and forth?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Good for her.
She's Carrie Coon-ing it.
She's totally Carrie Coon-ing it.
Yeah.
Who is Carrie Coon on Fargo.
I think is my favorite character on TV right now.
But let's talk about movies.
Fargo was a movie.
And now, I really like the TV show no let's play a
game I haven't I saw the new spider-man
did you guys know there's another spider-Man movie? It just came out.
You know, the only reason I know that is because I saw a clip of that kid on that lip sync show.
And he's so incredible.
I wanted to go see the new Spider-Man.
What lip sync show?
Sorry.
It's called Lip Sync Battle.
Yeah.
With LL Cool J and Christy Teigen.
And the guy playing Spider-Man is so spectacular.
Tom Holland.
In his video.
What song did he do?
I will go see the movie Umbrella.
He did Umbrella and he did a very androgynous version of it.
Is that a way to say it?
Yes, but he is so good.
Okay.
Anyway, how was the new Spider-Man?
So good.
Amazing.
I thought it was great.
I liked it a lot.
I liked it too, but let's settle down, Marvel,
and make two-hour movies.
Two hours is enough.
It's very long.
They're all long.
Come on.
We promise we'll go to the next one.
Michael Keaton Vulture is probably my favorite supervillain from this
new run of superhero movies
of the last 10 years.
Alright. Yeah. I mean, you know,
because of what happens to him in the
Jesus. What happens to him in the
second movie, I
really like Michael Rooker
in the Guardians movies for favorite
villain. But he sort of has
his more ambiguous.
But also, that's the thing that's cool about Michael Keaton
in the movie is he's sort of
torn between...
He's not just bad.
Right. You understand what it is.
That's what I also liked about...
I just wish that he would put on a
bird costume and start talking like this.
I just wish he would do the bird man
thing at some point. I mean, he would do the bird man thing at some point.
I mean, he is playing the vulture.
Just does bird characters now.
Just the whole thing of like, I was Batman, not happy about it,
had a kind of low period in my career,
came back grudgingly to play a superhero in a weird movie.
Yeah, it's crazy.
And now he's the villain that's dressed up like a bird.
It's crazy. And now he's the villain that's dressed up like a bird. It's very interesting.
And, of course, also Ray Kroc, who is the villain in The Founder.
If you haven't seen it yet, he is not a good person.
Is he presented in the movie as not a good person?
He's just presented in the part I didn't see all of it.
But in what I saw, he's just like really, the guys that own McDonald's don't want to franchise.
And he's like, you should franchise, you should franchise like he's really like excited about it he's clearly right no yeah
he he ended up being right and rich and those guys got oh they didn't get money well they got
a lot less than he did okay as i understand it right yeah yeah right because he's the founder
in the beginning of the film though you were rooting for him. He's kind of like a salesman
for this new shake machine.
He's not funny, though.
He's just sad.
He's just trying to sell a sick shake maker.
He's like Willy Loman in the beginning.
I see.
Yeah, so it's like if Willy Loman
became a billionaire.
Yeah.
That's what the movie is.
And then completely fucked over,
you know, Biff and happy and
it's funny mcdonald's started out like the mcdonald's big thing in the beginning was that
i can't believe we're still just talking about movies we need to play these games
but uh it was a big thing in the beginning of mcdonald's that everything was so fast that was
what was so revolutionary about it is they just made the burgers and had him ready when so when you
ordered them they just turn around and hand them to you yeah they like hand
drew their own kitchen so it was like the first kind of like quick assembly
line that you know the burgers were always being cooked and then made and
then right there like they figured that out when I was a child used to drive my
dad crazy because I didn't want ketchup, mustard, or pickles on mine.
And they were terrible.
That's why when Burger King came along
and said special orders don't upset us,
that was the marketing ploy to fuck over
McDonald's because they were shitty with special
orders. Ah, okay.
We gotta play some games!
But that's how you know that they're always fresh.
I'm glad you all care because there's only three people that can're always fresh. I'm glad you all care
because there's only three people that can win the prizes.
And they're probably
the most frustrated amongst us.
So I'm going to try to
rip through these real fast.
And we're going to start
with a game called Characters Welcome.
I'm going to name
characters from the credits
of a movie.
And you guys guess as often as you like
until one of you hits on the correct title of this movie.
These are, you know how the end credits can be.
At the end of Split, M. Night Shyamalan is in the movie
and his one scene, he's talking about how he likes Hooters
the restaurant
yeah so it's one of the
most hilarious scenes
in the movie
and then it says
J
his name's J
J-A-I
is his character name
comma
Hooters lover
uh huh
in the end credits
while very serious music
is playing
because you just watched
a fucking scary
weird movie
but anyway
here we go
weird characters that this movie has in it starting with juggler
yacht captain
gala crooner wolf of wall street no auction bidder okay Gala Krooner. Wolf of Wall Street? Nope.
Auction bidder?
Okay.
Really painting a picture, aren't I?
Elena Lincoln is a character in this movie.
Lincoln. Lincoln.
Elena.
Kate Kavanaugh. Elena. Kate.
Kate Cavanaugh.
Kate Cavanaugh.
Jack.
Titanic.
No.
Jack Hyde.
No, that was my guess too.
How are you guys guessing wrong exactly the same?
That's amazing.
We're very connected. Wait, it was Kate Cavanaugh, then Jack what? Hyde. That's amazing. We're very connected.
Wait, it was Kay Kavanaugh, then Jack what?
Hyde.
Jack Hyde.
Jack Hyde.
Jacqueline Hyde?
This next one's going to do it for at least some people here.
So don't yell it out if you know it.
Anastasia Steele.
Oh, Fifty Shades of Grey.
The sequel.
Okay, we need the exact title. Fifty Shades of Grey. The sequel. Okay, we need the exact title.
50 Shades of Grey.
A couple of shades darker.
50 Shades Darker.
That's right.
Yes.
Yeah, baby.
Kumail is great at movie trivia.
You give him all the words,
he'll put them together.
Yeah.
You know,
it would have to be, you know,
fucking almost impossible for me to see that movie
because I think it sucks,
but now that Juggler is in there,
I might go check it out.
Yeah, it sounds like there's a couple of fancy events
with some of those people there.
Oh, right.
Yeah, it's a rich person movie
so there's like auctions
and juggling shows.
And then we're doing
an interruption
of Fifty Shades Darker
at the Castro Theater
in San Francisco
on Saturday, August 26th
at 420.
So it's mostly just about
plugging that event.
Because it's a huge theater
and we got a lot of tickets to sell.
But now let's play a game.
13 minutes left on the clock.
Let's play a game called ABCD's Nuts.
Yes!
It's a spelling game, sort of.
We'll start with Kumail.
I'll say a letter.
You name any movie that begins with that letter.
And if you wrote down the movie that I wrote down in advance,
you win automatically this game.
Oh, shit.
I see.
And we're going to spell the big sick.
So the first letter in the big sick is T.
So give me a T, movie. Any movie that begins with T. Of course, movies that begin the big sick is T. So give me a T movie.
Any movie that begins with T.
Of course, movies that begin with the begin with T.
So it's the easiest letter in the alphabet.
I'll go with the Titanic.
I see what you did.
Titanic.
I was about to...
I wrote down
the terminal.
Oh.
Alright, Des, what do you got for the letter H?
Home alone.
Of course. I picked
this is crazy.
You and I are on some sort of
wavelength too.
He knows you're alone.
So you got one
of the words right.
Joe Pesci was
so far the best.
What? Joe Pesci was great in both of those.
I don't think he was
he was in He Knows You're Alone?
Oh yeah, you don't remember?
Oh yeah, now I remember remember he gets hit in the
face with a paint can in new york
aria what do you got for e any e movie election oh that's a great one. That's a really good one. I went with extremely loud, incredibly close.
B is your letter, Kumail.
Batman and Robin.
Good answer.
I said, and maybe this is too obvious considering it's the big sick.
Big.
Big.
Yeah, it was big.
I is the next letter for you there, Des.
Oh, I know what you did.
Ice Age.
That's right up your alley.
I really thought your answer was going to be,
I know what you did last summer.
I know what you did.
Ice Age.
Ice Age.
And again, we must have something going on here, it's fire and ice man i went with inferno
okay joe pesci also great in that film too
okay g is the next uh letter for you there we were just talking about it guardians of the galaxy
volume was there a volume on the first one no no but volume two is the second one Guardians of the Galaxy? Volume. No, that's not the case.
Was there a volume on the first one?
No.
No, but volume two is the second one.
That would be so cocky.
I'm glad they don't play the music in the movie
at volume two.
I looked right at Kumail
because I knew he would hate that.
I like it.
I went with, for a very specific reason,
it's kind of off the theme of the whole thing,
I went with
the movie Goon
because the sequel to Goon is coming
out soon and
it's called Goon
what's it called?
No, there's no two in it.
It's Last of the Enforcers.
Last of the Enforcers. And I love Goon, so I'm very excited about Goon 2.
And I'm going to present a screening of Goon 2
at the end of this month at CineFamily,
so look out for that.
I don't know if it's going to be free to get in or not,
but either way, you should come see it with me.
What's the next letter?
S.
Silence.
I like it. Let me come up with a... Is it silence? No. Did you see silence? Yes.
That wasn't fun either. There was no fun to be had in silence. I went with Sully. Okay. Sully. All right, all right, all right. I is the next letter.
Oh, you got I again.
I know, double I.
I-uh.
Inception?
Oh.
Are we on the same wavelength again?
No.
Oh, no.
I mean, I haven't seen the movie I picked,
so maybe people dream in it.
Maybe there's a spinning top.
Maybe people float down a hallway. Ithaca. Maybe people dream in it. Maybe there's a spinning top. Maybe people float down a hallway.
Ithaca.
What?
The school?
There's a movie called Ithaca.
Starring Barbra Streisand.
Yeah.
It fits into the theme of this whole thing.
C is the next letter.
Castaway. Castaway.
That is correct no really really wow that's amazing wait wait i just need to explain my process here that's amazing here's where he gave it away he
said sully and i thought plane crash and then i thought cast away some people would just think to explain my process here. That's amazing. Here's where he gave it away. He said, Sully,
and I thought plane crash,
and then I thought castaway.
Oh, some people would just think Tom Hanks.
Yeah.
Some people would think
the much more obvious connection.
But that's why
I had to explain my reasoning.
Wasn't he shipwrecked
in Castaway?
Yes, but there was a crash.
Right, there was.
He had to get there somehow.
Those skates didn't wash up on the shore because they weren but there was a crash. Right, there was. They had to get there somehow. Those skates
didn't wash up on the shore because they
weren't ever in a plane.
Or was it one skate?
Did you only have one skate? Does that make it even more
pathetic? Even though, I don't
know what you'd do with two skates, unless you had
two tooth problems.
And you wanted a sterile one
to go in the second time.
But, no, it's
funny, I guess with all the conversation we've been having
and everything, but except for Goon, because I couldn't
find a G one, all of those
movies star Tom Hanks.
Wow.
Wait, what
were the other ones?
He's in something called Ithaca,
I guess. Big.
Big, The Terminal, He Knows You're Alone,
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close,
Big, Inferno, yeah, and Castaway.
Good job.
So what's the K one?
What was the K Tom Hanks movie?
I couldn't find a K one, so I went with Kass.
Oh, Corner and Hooch?
I just thought of it
that's the one right
I'm trying to think
one now
yeah me too
what's another one
I wish he'd done
more movies
you've got kale
you've got kale
the K's not even at the beginning.
I'm such an idiot.
Keyless in Seattle?
He just doesn't have his keys?
All right, so can we go five over?
Five minutes over?
Okay.
It's all up to you, man.
Okay, he's saying it's all right.
We're going to go five minutes over.
I love looking over at you with those headsets on
I feel like I'm talking to somebody
In Empire Strikes Back
Your bar for what it takes
To make you feel like you're talking to someone from
Empire Strikes Back is very low
Just someone with headphones
Oh, what are you, Star Wars?
There's a guy that he's on his post
And he's got the things on his head.
I know the guy.
He's wearing a T-shirt with something on it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think it's that T-shirt.
That's probably what gave it away.
All right, so this last game,
I got to explain it quickly and play it quickly,
but I think you're going to enjoy it.
It's called Ron Bennington's
Adjusted for Inflation Bureau game,
and the premise is,
I'm going to tell you the name of an actor.
Aya gets to go first, then we'll go to Desmond and then Kumail.
And I'll give you the name of an actor.
You tell me what movie you think is in their top three,
hopefully number one, but in their top three,
according to Box Office Mojo.
Okay, all right.
Their entire box office run adjusted for inflation yeah saying
it made me almost throw up because to this day I'll just give you a couple clues get let you get
your bearings a little bit gone with the wind is still the biggest seller of all time it'd be
number one when you adjust for inflation.
How much did it make then, and what does it adjust to now?
I don't know the answer to either of those things.
Oh, I think it made
25 cents, and now it'd be 3 billion dollars.
If you invest it wisely.
But Avatar,
which many people think,
you know,
and is often referred to as if not the top grossing
close to it,
is down like around
like 10 or 11 or something
after you adjust for inflation.
Because of these old ass movies.
So the numbers get crazy.
So, you know,
just keep that in mind.
It's kind of unfair
because back then
there weren't that many movies.
So they would like
play and play and play.
Anyway, go ahead.
Yeah.
Okay, so I'm going to say the name of the actor.
So number one is worth three points, two, two, and three, one.
And you want to land in the top three and get on the board.
Played three rounds, but I got a tiebreaker ready and we've got eight minutes to do it.
Aya,
the films of Bill Murray.
Oh.
Oh, God.
Top three.
Yeah, what do you think
is the big Bill Murray movie?
Or the biggest?
Go for it.
Groundhog Day.
Okay.
Desmond?
Caddyshack.
Oh. I'm gonna go. Caddyshack. Whoa.
I'm gonna go...
Kumail?
I'll go...
It's either...
I'll say Ghostbusters.
Yeah.
Okay, Kumail says Ghostbusters.
Coming in at number three,
The Jungle Book.
Fuck this.
That thing was fucking...
That thing was huge.
Yeah, he's Baloo.
Number two.
Tootsie.
Yeah, Tootsie was huge.
Huge.
He was the roommate.
Yep.
And coming in at number one, of course, is Ghostbusters!
Yeah!
Do you have the numbers on it?
Nope. Kumail
is running away with this thing.
But let's
start this round with Desmond.
Everybody gets a chance to go first.
Oh shit.
The films of Christopher Walken.
This is tougher than Bill Maher.
It is, because he's in so many.
Yeah.
I wouldn't be surprised if they had a similar number
of movies under their belts.
Oh, so many big ones, you mean?
He's just been in smaller parts
in so many. Yeah, that's true.
What do you got, Des?
I don't know.
I'll do Reservoir Dogs.
I'm upset about it.
Okay.
Me or Aya?
It's your turn, yes.
Oh, you know what?
I'm just going to go Jungle Book.
Aya?
Schindler's List what?
it's an old joke
from this show
long time listeners
you did say
you have been
looking at
progressive movies
this so
I only did
Jungle Book
because he said
Bill Murray
top three Jungle Book
and I assumed
that they would be
comparable
but
as it turns out
at this game
Aya and Edgar
you are the worst
Edgar
I called you Edgar
alright
listen
where are you going buddy oh no don't pack it in we got five minutes we gotta finish No, buddy.
No, don't pack it in.
We got five minutes.
We got to finish.
Oh, yeah, you can do that.
All right.
So, wait.
So, we got two movies he wasn't in, and then Jungle Book.
So, coming in at number three, Wedding Crashers.
Okay.
Yep.
Number two.
Can I guess another one that won't count?
Number two?
No.
Because you already got number one.
Oh, I did.
Mm-hmm.
Uh-huh.
I was wondering if it might be like Pulp Fiction.
No.
Batman Returns.
Oh, of course.
Yeah, that was huge.
And then coming in at number one,
the biggest Christopher Walken movie of all time
after adjusting for inflation
is The Jungle Book from 2016.
Thank you.
Now this just seems cruel
that now Kumail gets to go first
in the third round
and there's no way you guys can catch up.
Did you see Jungle Book?
I saw it.
I saw it.
I saw it. I saw it. I saw it.
I saw it a lot.
It was good.
Yeah, it's good.
Yeah.
Yeah, Favreau did a good job with it.
Yeah, it was really good.
Yeah, no, it's really better than it should be
because I think the original animated movie is just so great.
Just like in many card rooms where you're able to, you know,
check before the flop comes out,
I'm just going to say Jungle Book is my answer now.
Oh, a little pre-catch.
You're going all in before.
I think that's not how, I think you
get to go last for a reason, but let's
see how this plays out.
Kumail,
Jungle Book is taken.
Is it the kid from Jungle Book?
Who are we talking about now?
Who's the person?
Oh, shit.
You didn't say it.
His precast threw me off.
It's not the kid from Jungle Book, right?
No, no, it's Scarlett Johansson.
Okay.
Okay, all right, all right, all right.
You know, I'm gonna guess,
I guess I'll say the,
I'll say Avengers.
Full title?
I'm just kidding.
Avengers, Justice League 2.
I don't give a shit if you put Marvel's in front of it or not.
Marvel's, the Avengers.
That's the one you mean, right?
Yeah, the first one.
Okay.
Aya?
I mean, it's a lost cause,
so I'm just going to say a movie of hers that I like,
Ghost World.
Oh, yeah.
Definitely.
Ghost World made a shit ton.
Surprisingly.
Ghost World raked it in.
Huge in China.
So big over in China.
I'd rather go out in style.
Yeah, that's only fair.
Well, Kumail, I think first ever perfect score in this game. Oh, that's only fair. Well, Kumail, I think first ever perfect
score in this game. Oh, that's number one?
Number one, Marvel's The Avengers.
Yeah.
I have been
studying box office stuff.
I really have.
Number two was
Avengers Age of Ultron.
And number three is Captain America Civil Wars.
It's all Marvel.
Yeah, number four, and worth no points, The Jungle Book.
So that move didn't work out so great for you.
Moral points.
But that means Dean Age Mutant Ninja Turtles,
something about the booze, is our winner.
Come get your prizes, Dean.
Where's he at?
Oh, there he is.
You're in the second row and it took that long?
There you go, dude.
Congratulations.
Don't all in the same place. Whatever that means. Oh, you want your name tag back? Grab that, dude. Congratulations. Don't all in the same place.
Whatever that means.
Oh, you want your name tag back?
Grab that, too.
Let's start with Aya.
You're the worst back September 6th.
Do you have anything else people should be looking for?
Not a damn thing.
Okay.
FXX.
And Desmond?
Jungle Book slash Edgar.
Yeah, everyone go watch Jungle Book again.
Guess who the tiebreaker was going to be?
Aya.
Oh shit, ruining a name tag.
The tiebreaker was going to be Ben Kingsley.
And you know what his number three is? Jungle Book.
Schindler's List.
Wow.
So, Kumail,
Big Sick, still in theaters.
The Big Sick is still in theaters. It's still
everywhere. Go see it. Go see it.
Thank you. Go see it.
It's 98 on Rotten Tomatoes.
It's really...
Yeah, that's pretty sweet, dude.
That's where, like, you know,
I think people that are like,
you know, Rotten Tomatoes, you can't trust it.
I don't know that many critics
that have to see everything
when a movie gets that high a number.
I think it generally turns out pretty well.
Unless it's a heavy, you know,
heavy movie.
Oh,
those intense movies. Yeah,
I don't,
you know,
I don't need a,
something got a 90 score
because of how sad it is.
Although there's that
in your movie as well.
But anyway,
congratulations
and we'll have you back,
you know,
hopefully to,
we got to pump up
the whole Oscar thing.
Okay.
We'll start your Oscar campaign right here.
We'll start the campaign here.
Thank you.
And, yeah, that's pretty much it.
That's your stuff, right?
That's your dog stuff.
Thanks for sitting through the heat with us.
Thank you to everyone.
Great turnout today.
Thank you to everybody who came out.
We'll see you over at UCB on Tuesday the 15th
if you want to come check it out over there.
I'm not going to say whether their air conditioning
is better or worse.
Because I don't know for sure.
I never know until I get there.
But yeah, thank you for coming.
There's a celebrity in the audience tonight.
Kevin Kraft from the Jason Ellis program on Sirius XM
came by the show today.
Thanks for coming by, Kevin.
One more time for all of my guests, Kumail Nanjiani,
Desmond Borges, Aya Cash.
Aya!
And as always Jeffrey Star
Is a shithead
Is that right?
Yes it is
Jeffrey Star?
Yes
Okay
He's a drag queen?
No
No?
What are you making me say
About somebody? I don't know who this What are you making me say about somebody?
I don't know who this is.
Don't make me say
things about him.
Her.
It.
What?
And drunk people
who constantly say
I'm not drunk
are a shithead.
Once again,
thank you to Loot Crate
for sponsoring
today's episode.
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Bye bye! Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you,
cause Doug loves movies!