Doug Loves Movies - Kurt Braunohler, Chris Cubas, Geoff Tate, and John Erler Guest
Episode Date: February 4, 2015Live from the Cap City Comedy Club in Austin, Doug welcomes comics Kurt Braunohler, Chris Cubas, Geoff Tate, and John Erler to the show. Apologies for the tech issues!See Privacy Policy at ht...tps://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug Hates Candy Rappers
Hey, hey, hey everybody.
I'm sad to say we had some tech issues with this ep,
so I'm going to try to talk you through the missing parts.
The recording started a little late into the show.
There's a small section missing in the middle,
and then it cuts off before the end.
So I will jump in and try to describe,
to the best of my stoner ability, what you're missing.
It was an enthusiastic crowd at the Cap City Comedy Club in Austin, Texas,
when I took the stage on Saturday, January 30, 101 Dalmatians.
I didn't say 101 Dalmatians. I don't remember what I said.
Because, as you know, the show started a little bit after 420 because
I always have an appointment outside by the dumpster at 420. I asked the crowd to show me
their name tags and they did lots of good ones. Then I plugged my stand-up show at the Improv in
Fort Lauderdale on Tuesday, February 24th and mentioned that I'm doing movie interruptions in
San Francisco, Traverse City, and Nashville and to go to douglovesmovies.com
for more info. You know the drill. Basic opening of the show stuff. The prize bag had a schmovie
board game in it, some buttons, a t-shirt, and some stuff from my guests that I don't remember.
One of them brought some VHS tapes that were pretty funny the guests were John Erler from
Austin's movie mocking troupe Master Pancake
or as Josh Brolin in Inherent Vice would call them
Moto Pancake-u
Moto Pancake-u
love that scene
Kurt Braunohler was there headlining all weekend at Cap City
and promoting his internet thing called
Roustabout. Another local phenom and beloved Douglas movies guest Chris Cubis was there.
And the host of Afternoon Everybody, Jeff Tate, made the trip to Austin specifically at my request.
And boy, were they all funny talking about the prizes. But then we got to the part where I ask, what movie have you seen lately?
And that's where the audio starts.
Talk to you later.
Have you been to the movies lately, Kurt Braunohler, with your traveling schedule?
Magnolia.
For the first time.
Oh, did you have that like on a little screen while you were on the jet ski?
Yeah, the whole time.
Just watching three hours of Magnolia.
Great scenes, guys.
Great scenes.
Unbearably long movie.
That's an interesting way of looking at it.
It's a series of great scenes.
Yeah, and not a movie.
He made a web series.
P.T. Anders is just obsessed
with making web series now,
I think.
I love that somebody
wanted to help out Africa,
but they were like,
you know what?
I'm not just gonna do it.
You gotta do something
real fucking weird first.
I was just like,
guys, come on.
What can I do?
It's like that guy
that got eaten by a snake,
you know,
or tried to get swallowed
by a snake
and he only went in up to his shoulders or something. Oh yeah, that guy that got eaten by a snake You know, or tried to get swallowed by a snake And he only went up to his shoulders or something
But that guy was trying to raise awareness for the rainforest
And I think it backfired
I think people just think of him as the guy who tried to get eaten by a snake
Did he go in feet first?
Like he was trying to shimmy into a sleeping bag?
No, I think they wanted the snake to feel like how it would naturally feel
When it eats a human.
So apparently they like to suck the guy in from his head down.
But the snake sucks him all the way in.
But he's a grown man.
He couldn't fit.
What?
Plus he had a special thing on so that he couldn't get crushed.
He had like a special jacket on so that the snake could crush him.
Also, John Voight was already inside the snake, so there wasn't a lot of room.
Movies!
In Anaconda, when John Voight pops out of that snake and winks at the camera, it's the greatest.
But the ending of Sleepaway Camp is even crazier.
There's a snake.
Well, not really a snake.
You've already said too much.
I feel like we're for sure there's a wink
at the end of Sleepaway Camp.
There might not be a snake, but someone winks.
So, Chris Cubis?
Yeah.
What have you seen lately?
Have you seen any of these movies that are up for awards?
I saw Top 5 today.
I don't think I got nominated for anything, which is racism.
It's not.
It's not Selma.
It's just Black Birdman.
I don't know if you've seen that movie or not, but... It really is.
But I will say this about that movie.
I want DMX to show up and sing a weird old fucking show tune
at the end of every movie.
Has anyone seen...
He shows up in jail, DMX, and he sings
Smile Though Your Heart Is Breaking.
And he's like, what?
Hup, hup, smile!
It's the best shit I've ever seen in my life.
I want him to just show up in every movie and be like, keep pushing up rubber tree plants, motherfucker! Whatever. It's the best shit I've ever seen in my life. I will just show up in every movie and be like,
keep pushing up rubber tree plants, motherfucker.
Whatever.
It's great.
All right.
And I saw John Wick for like the 15th time.
That movie is the shit.
Yeah, that's my top five from last year.
It's just John Wick five times. Yeah, it's great top five from last year. It's just John Wick five times.
Yeah, it's great.
I take that back.
There were some other good ones.
But I like that you said top five is Black Birdman, though.
It is.
Because, you know, Chris Rock was in a Broadway show.
That was part of what inspired him to make top five.
He decided he was a better actor
and that he could really...
Ugh.
I love Chris Rock,
but I don't know about that.
Again, Chris,
Cubist's opinions
are his own.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, Chris,
he might not put me
in Top 6.
I apologize.
I don't see that happening.
There's not gonna be
a Top six.
John Earler, have you been to the movies?
I don't like to go outside the house,
but I've watched some movies on Netflix.
I saw Frank the other day.
I love Frank.
Listen to those people.
I wish I could agree with you on that one.
You didn't love it?
I had high hopes for it.
Somebody told me, all the reviews I read were like, this movie
is so weird. It's like just one of the weirdest
movies you've ever seen, but there's nothing
weird about this movie. It's not that weird, no.
I thought it was charming. Yeah, there's a weird character
in it, but it's a very charming movie. It's like
Almost Famous or The Commitments or
a band movie. No, it's really about
a band and getting along and
creating things.
Yeah. I mean, there were definitely charming moments.
While wearing a big papier-mâché head.
What's the big deal?
Yeah.
It's about life, love, and a big fucking papier-mâché head.
Yeah.
That's how some people roll.
Yeah.
I mean, it was really a great movie, actually.
It was really terrific.
I'm glad I turned you around on that.
You did.
I see your point of view now.
I also watched Divergent
because I felt like I had to.
As somebody who makes fun of bad movies,
I felt like that was definitely high up there
in the list of movies that might be thrown at us
at a choose-your-own-pancake.
Unfortunately, I think Amazon took it off its list
the day I started watching it, because
after midnight, I tried to watch the second half
and I couldn't, so I've only seen the first half
of Divergent. Oh, let me fill you in
what happens in Divergent.
They continue with their training.
Yeah, that's it. That's the whole thing.
It's just a whole movie of training
and then we'll see you for the next one.
See you for the next one. See you for the next one.
We might actually go out and do something.
Did you see Boy Divergent, Maze Runner?
No, that's next on my list.
Yeah, it's the same thing.
Did Richard Leak later make Boy Divergent?
I did watch Boyhood too, actually.
That's on some streaming service too.
There you go, one person over there loved it.
Yeah, let's hear it for Austin Film, man. Come on.
Every single person
in this movie, probably every person
in this room during that movie at some point,
my house.
Well, a lot of the scenes they shoot
in that movie are filmed in Austin, but they're
supposed to be in Houston. There's a scene
at a great bowling alley in the movie that's here in Austin called Dart Bowl, but they're supposed to be in Houston. There's a scene at a great bowling alley in the movie
here in Austin called Dart Bowl.
And it's supposed to be...
But it's in Houston in the movie, so fuck that movie.
Sounds like
that movie's full of fucking lies.
I like to go...
I like to
bowl in a place called Dank Bowl.
I get it.
Yeah, it's really... It's just kind of wet and cold in there.
But it's still fun because nobody goes there.
Bowling in a basement.
Have you been to the movies, Jeff Tate?
No, not.
I saw, I haven't been able to go to the movies since the last time I was on the show.
But I did watch 16 Blocks on HBO.
Don't laugh at that.
It's good.
I like that movie.
What's up with Mos Def's weird...
Mos Def's accent is like he's actually deaf
in that movie.
He's like...
How many?
Fucking stupid movie.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's great.
He does a really great job.
It's based on a true story, Chris.
I don't know why you're making fun of a real person
who talks like that.
I'm pretty sure it's based on that Clint Eastwood movie, Gauntlet.
Is it? Is it basically the same movie?
I feel like there was just a bus in both.
Fair enough.
And you're like, oh, it's the same thing.
There's a bus in this one, too. And you're like, oh, it's the same thing. There's a bus
in this one too.
It's kind of like
speed.
No, I like that movie.
I thought it was fun.
I also like any movie
that is like,
it's good.
This happens
right now.
It's like one of
them real time movies.
Oh, those are the worst.
They're so hard
to pull off
because real time is boring.
Like, that's why movies have editing.
That's why you don't have to
fucking watch everything happen.
Like, that's the one thing
that kind of bugged me about Birdman
is it's just like once in a while
they can just,
the camera could stop moving around
and the drumming could stop
for a few seconds.
No, Whiplash was played
in the next theater.
That's all that was.
It was just bleed over
What did I see?
I saw something
Well, I saw Sleepaway Camp
What happened at the end of that?
I can't really think about anything else
What's that?
I said what happens at the end of Sleepaway Camp
Everybody should rent it and find out
I can't officially add it to my movies
I've seen this year
Because I'm trying to see 365 movies this year And I can't officially add it to my movies I've seen this year because I'm trying to see
365 movies this year and I can't
officially add it until I go back and see
the few minutes that we missed.
I heard we missed a scene involving bees on a toilet.
A hundred percent.
I don't know if you saw that scene, but if you didn't
there's fucking bees in that movie.
That's good to find out for sure.
We have to cut out
10 minutes or 15 minutes of the movies for time
when we do them at the Alamo,
and that's the scene that we miss.
Is that the best scene in the movie?
No, I think the best scene in the movie
is when that fucking pedophile cook is like,
oh, I love these little kids.
We call them baldies.
So Mos Def likes to make birthday cakes, right?
And he's got this notebook of birthday cake drawings.
I don't know, Bruce Willis is kind of hungover.
It's my favorite version of Bruce Willis,
the frumpy Bruce Willis.
The one that's like, really, me?
That's my favorite Bruce Willis.
Yeah, they're like, hey, Bruce, do you want to do this movie?
He's like, how much moving around is there?
And they go, well, it takes place within 16 blocks.
He's like, I'm in.
If I could just stagger around a 16-block area for a couple of months,
that'll be good.
He's in this thing now that I saw a preview for.
It's on VOD.
It's Vice.
And it takes place in the future.
And Bruce Willis runs a place that's kind of like Westworld.
It's like you go there and fuck robots.
And then the robots start, you know, fucking back.
I'm sorry.
I meant to say fight both times.
And... What? No, you probably to say fight both times. And... What?
No, you probably fuck them and fight them.
That's what happened in Westworld,
is you got to do swordplay and then sleep with the women,
and they were all robots.
But then Thomas Jane shows up,
and he, like, tries to stop it.
That's what I got from the previews. I don't necessarily want to see it. Is it called
Vice? Am I right? Okay, cool.
Has anybody seen it?
No.
I like that that guy answered for the whole room
by the way. No.
I have a feeling he's going to be the alpha audience
member.
He's the one you're going to have to talk to if you yell
out Amy Adams.
How are we doing on time,
you guys? Are we doing alright?
Oh, I saw on Netflix, I watched
Bonnie McFarlane and Rich
Voss' documentary, Women Aren't Funny.
Yeah, I saw that recently. It was good. And they absolutely prove it.
Good job.
I like when a documentary
has a thesis statement
and just sets out.
Yeah, I know.
At the end of it,
you're like,
shit, Bonnie,
you are right.
I saw, I forgot.
I saw Inherent.
It's funny throughout,
actually.
What?
I saw Inherent Vice again.
The floor is closed
to movies that you've seen.
Wait, you,
okay, you went back
and saw it a second time
thinking it would make sense?
Well, I was hoping that...
Did it?
No.
I was hoping that I missed something
the first time I saw it.
Like, there was one scene where we were like,
oh, if I had seen that, I would know
what the fuck was happening.
Did you see the scene with the bees?
There was no bees.
I feel like the same way I feel about almost every Paul Thomas Anderson.
Like you walk into a room, he introduces you to 40 people, and then there's a quiz.
Yeah.
And then none of them do anything.
Yeah.
And then it's over.
But they cry a fucking ton.
Yeah.
And then I feel stupid because everyone's like, he's the best.
And I'm almost like, why?
Am I dumb?
Maybe I'm dumb.
Well, that doesn't describe There Will Be Blood at all.
That misses on every...
I think he's an interesting filmmaker,
and Inherent Vice was more fun for me
than The Master, certainly.
But, you know, keep doing your thing man
if you're listening to this PTA
keep doing your thing
Wes Anderson
somebody made an interesting
statement recently
on Twitter probably
that Wes Anderson
kind of made
you know
got a lot of criticism
for making the same movie
over and over again
kind of having his own
little universe
and then Grand Budapest Hotel
comes out
and everybody goes
apeshit for it.
It's like it took everybody a while
to catch up to him.
Now he probably won't keep making the same movie.
Now that people finally get it.
I'm so angry on his behalf.
Yeah, his next movie is a cartoon horror
slash sex film.
Sleepaway Camp 3 is ready to go
if he wants to.
I think there's a partial script
out there somewhere.
They've already made
Sleepaway Camp 3, by the way.
I'm a fan of that series.
They made one, two, and three
and they half made four
and they released it on DVD.
Oh, four was the half one.
Yeah.
They played like five minutes
of that movie.
It's pretty great.
It's just literally like
a chick gets hit by a truck
and then it says Sleepaway Camp and then the credits roll. It's pretty great. It's just literally like a chick gets hit by a truck and then it says
sleepaway camp
and then the credits roll.
That's really all they shot.
Sleepaway camp four.
I know what you did
last summer three.
At the beginning
of the movie
there's an accident
and some people die.
Like at the beginning
of the movie
they're setting up
that it's not even
necessarily about a slasher at a camp. It's just like just a random accident camp. There's an accident and some people die. At the beginning of the movie, they're setting up that it's not even necessarily
about a slasher at a camp.
It's just a random accident camp.
And it felt like it was going to be
like a Final Destination movie
where everyone who goes to that camp
just dies some weird death while they're there.
And the rest of the people at the camp
just get over it so fast.
After every death, they're back to talking about
fucking the little girls and stuff.
They don't even care.
Interesting note, in the sequels, the main character in the first one who goes on to the sequels
is played by Bruce Springsteen's sister.
Pamela Springsteen takes over the role, and she goes on to kill a bunch of people.
It's pretty great.
Whoa.
I know too much about that movie, I'm just really honest with you.
I have the box set.
It's really good.
I know too much about that movie, I'm just being honest with you.
I have the box set. It's really good.
I'm uncomfortable with how much you know about that movie.
You should be, sir. You should be.
Alright, well on that note, this is the part of the show where I say... Oh, and women aren't funny is very funny, by the way.
I want to make sure I get that on the record.
Let the games begin.
Can I get a tall vodka tonic on stage, please?
Thank you.
Oh, shit, are those cupcakes?
Show us your weird name tags, Austin.
And the guys are going to all go pick one And
This episode is brought to you
Advertisement free, so
Hopefully they won't take too long
Jeff's really showing his off
Let me see it
Oh my god, that's an amazing one Holy crap long. Jeff's really showing his off. Let me see it.
Oh.
Oh my god, that's an amazing one.
Holy crap.
Jeff finally picked a good name tag.
Aww.
Sadness.
I got good name tags
in St. Louis last week, but usually
before that, I would just be like, that one's
close, and then it's
just a fucking trash bag
with a name on it.
Alright.
Here, hold yours up for me so I can
vine it.
How do you flip it?
Oh, fuck.
Who you playing for, Jeff?
Brian to the future.
What?
Well, it's the rest of the name tag.
Oh, okay.
And it's got a flux capacitor on it.
Yeah.
It's legit.
I knocked on it.
I thought it might be fake, but it's real, you guys.
All right, here we go.
Let me vine it real quick, because that's pretty amazing.
Come on, you fucker.
Where the fuck won't my vine work?
No, I don't want a tutorial.
I know I'm shitty at it, vine, but fuck. Just leave me alone. I don't want a tutorial I know I'm shitty at it Vine
but fuck
just leave me alone
I don't want a tutorial
no tutorial
no
oh there it goes
fuck
that was tough
stop it
I don't want to
fucking discard it
where we're going
we don't need Vines
look at this little character coming out of there that's hilarious Where we're going, we don't need vines.
Look at this little character coming out of there.
That's hilarious.
All right, John, who are you playing for?
Hold that up. Hold that wallet up.
We got a wallet.
I feel like I've got the most Austin... He grabbed a wallet.
This is the least amount of effort anybody has put into...
This is the most slacker sign.
I have somebody named
Dustin Jacob.
Is that you? Is it Jacob Dustin or Dustin Jacob?
Hold on, is that cash?
There's about $80 of cash
in here.
Don't read any personal information
because the listeners hate the bleeps
we have to put in.
He spent about $40 at Hutts Hamburgers.
Wow, what did you
get in a fucking hamburger place?
Jabba the Hutt's Hamburgers?
He went to
Dick's Sporting Goods and bought
$124 worth of merchandise.
That doesn't sound
very Austin-like.
What if it's just ping pong balls?
We're a very healthy town.
Chris, you got a box of donuts?
No, I got a box of tiny pies from Tiny Pies.
Right here in Austin, Texas. I'm playing for Patrick.
There's bourbon chess and chocolate cream.
And I'll be busy for like 10 minutes.
You gonna fuck those pies, Chris?
Yeah, don't put your dick in the pies.
For the listener, Chris said he was gonna be busy
and got up like he was about to actually leave.
Yeah.
With his box of pies.
My tiny dick in those tiny pies.
Don't pull a sleepaway camp with those pies.
Let me see yours here, Kurt.
Playing for Chad, boys.
Only because I'm on it.
My little head is on that cup.
Oh, I figured out you're going to be here.
Who's this in the middle?
Shia LaBeouf?
Or is that the guy that made the sign?
That's Chad?
Chad.
All right.
Yeah.
Cool.
An African country.
Let's go back to Roustabout.
Been helping out a lot of African countries with my goats,
so I'm happier here, Chad.
Are you a representative of Chad?
He's not answering for some reason.
No, he's not.
Because he's like, it makes me uncomfortable.
The question makes me uncomfortable.
All right, well, somebody's going to win everything
that's in this prize bag
because they made these great name tags, and thank you for doing that.
And we're going to start with a game that has two names now.
It's called Cluster Flicks or Don't Yell Out Amy Adams.
Any other fucking name.
This is just between everybody on stage.
I don't think people are too...
Seems like a pretty chill crowd today.
Like, nobody's hammered yet.
I think a few of you might be stoned.
I saw a few people outside.
Yeah, yeah.
This is good.
All right, here's how Clusterflix works.
I'm going to list movies that somebody,
an actor or an actress, has appeared in,
somebody that's made a lot of movies.
I'm going to start by naming three films.
You have to think of the person that I'm thinking of
that's in all three of those films,
and then everybody can just yell it out into your microphone.
First person to get it right wins.
If after the first three names you still don't know
who it is, then I'm just going to slowly
add one more name
and it's up to, I think there might be like
15 or 20 names here
and we'll see who gets it first.
Make sense?
Enough.
I just thought of the next time we play this
game, I'm going to say, after the Amy Adams will begin,
I'm just going to play the audio of that girl saying Amy Adams.
All right, here we go.
Your first three movies are Much Ado About Nothing from 1993.
I'm not always going to say the year.
It's just there's been more than one Much Ado About Nothing.
Quicksand
and A Shot at Glory.
Kenneth Branagh.
Okay, that's...
Kurt is in with a guess that's incorrect.
Yes!
Now I can relax.
No, you can guess as many times
as you want and you're not penalized for guessing
incorrectly.
Oh, Morgan Freeman, Denzel Washington, Keanu Reeves, George Burns.
Emma Thompson.
As many times.
Michael Keaton.
Jet Li.
Chris Rock.
Bill Cosby.
DMX.
Who said Michael Keaton?
I did.
John Earler's a winner.
I was getting there.
Eventually, I would have said his name.
Did you really figure it out, or are you just spitballing anybody?
I was jumping on his train.
I remembered that Michael Keaton was in Much Ado About Nothing,
and I was pretty sure those British people weren't in those other two movies that you said.
Andy McDowell.
I thought this would...
I wasn't listening.
I thought it was so clever with this list
I thought it would go on forever
but I didn't think of the just yelling out names
till somebody...
And pretty impressive you got there that quickly.
I mean,
like, for one thing,
I'm never going to do
the movies of George Burns.
What?
Oh, God, you devil?
It's just pretty good.
If you did,
it would be really easy.
That was a wild shooting
you were doing there.
Also, I'd love to see
Bill Cosby
in Much Ado About Nothing.
That's what he calls
all the allegations. Yeah in Much Ado About Nothing. That's what he calls all the allegations.
Yeah.
Much Ado.
I'm a goddamn hero, everybody.
So proud of you, Chris.
What you're doing
for this country
through your comedy.
I'm just trying to get that
Hannibal Buress bump. That's all.
Jerry Seinfeld fucks
dogs. Do you know that?
I bet you didn't even know that. Google it.
Google it. You'll find a lot.
28 dogs have come forward
and said,
They came forward and said, Arf!
They came forward and said, Arf!
I love that.
All right, so John Erler gets to go first in our next game.
Because he just randomly said Michael Keaton.
I owe it all to you, Chris.
You're welcome.
Thanks for blazing the trail of randomness for me.
Cars, The Last Time, The Married Gentleman, Toy Story 3, First Daughter.
I think you still wouldn't have known if you
had to just really legitimately guess.
Desperate Measures, Need for
Speed, The Squeeze, One Good Cop,
My Life,
Game 6, whatever
that is, Post Grad,
The Other Guys, One Good Cop, Post-grad, the other guys.
One good cop, the dream team.
Pacific Heights, the paper touch and go.
Speechless, Herbie fully loaded.
White noise, clean and sober.
Night shift, Beetlejuice, Batman.
Batman returns, Birdman.
Or the unexpected, yes.
Jeff Tate is our winner.
You never put multiplicity in there.
Multiplicity just gives it away.
Do you think I'd play the Andy McDowell game?
That would be a good one, though.
She's been in a lot of movies.
And there's a whole bunch of Michael Keatons in that one.
Well, that's why I thought it would be a giveaway.
That's why I thought you'd know it was Michael Keaton
if I said multiplicity.
There's no other actor other than Andy
that you could even get Dabney Coleman in that.
Who was in that?
I don't even remember.
But it's not a bad movie.
Speechless, on the other hand, oof,
with Geena Davis,
and they're supposed to be like Mary Madeline
and the bald guy.
James Carville.
Yeah, I think those two think they're so...
You'd say that.
I would say that.
Name of James Carville.
Yeah.
For the listeners,
John just did an impression of James Carville's mouth.
He does a weird thing with his mouth.
Yeah.
I don't think anybody thinks those two are as interesting a couple as they think they are.
They love that they're on...
We're on either sides of the aisle, and the rest are like, who fucking cares?
Yeah, have a seat. The movie's about to start.
Sit together, don't sit together, who gives a shit?
sit together don't sit together who gives a shit all right so uh since i enjoyed the sam by me poster that's still staring at me
uh from the front row it's weird how much you look like will wheaton in that image
people say that all the time on twitter they say he and I are like lost brothers or something. But he's less high.
He's less squinty.
So,
we're going to play Last Man Stanton.
And this
gentleman that made the Sam by
Me poster, allegedly named
Sam, he gets to
tell us
what actor or actress we're going to use
for this game.
Dustin Hoffman.
Dustin Hoffman. Interesting.
He was referenced in The Other Sister last night.
Yeah, that's right.
Oh my god.
Yeah. Remember that?
What do they say about him?
They say that their favorite movie is
The Graduate. They're watching The Graduate and they're
cheering on the scene where he's
pounding on the church where he's pounding
on the church window to
disrupt the wedding.
Juliette Lewis' character, I think she actually says
something like
Dustin Hoffman is my hero.
Ironically, they never mention Rain Man
in that whole discussion.
I think it's the
subtext.
I know who Dustin Hoffman is now.
Yeah.
All right.
Yeah, thanks.
Two movies.
Yeah.
And then there's like a callback to The Graduate
at the end of The Other Sister,
which I don't want to give anything away,
but somebody crashes a wedding.
Yeah, like in Wayne's World 2.
And also a little movie
called Wedding Crashers.
They crash weddings as well.
Alright, so we're going to start with John.
Everybody's had plenty of time to load up some
Dustin Hoffman movies in their head. I'm going to play
along on this one, but whoever
lasts longest that's not me will be our winner.
And we'll go
John, Chris, Kurt,
then me, and Jeff.
Name
a movie with Dustin Hoffman in it, John.
Rain Man.
I like
the way you play.
Thanks. Chris? To you play. Thanks.
Chris?
Tootsie.
Okay.
One guy in the audience likes that.
That wasn't a guy.
Probably.
Hey, that's the plot of Tootsie.
Yeah, see what I did?
I think that was the joke too I was just trying to help it land
Oh
Cadillac Man
Wait it is your intention
What?
To be knocked out already?
I don't know a lot of movies.
He's in Cadillac Man.
You think Dustin Hoffman is in Cadillac Man?
I don't even know what Cadillac Man is.
It sounds like Rain Man.
I was just hoping.
I dare say that's probably the only man movie Hoffman's done.
Lawnmower Man.
Stop guessing man movies.
What? That's not his Man. Stop guessing man movies.
That's not his thing.
I'm panicking.
You're out.
We'll see you in the next game. The Boogie Man.
We'll see you in the next game.
Sandman.
I love you, man.
That's not my answer I'm going with
You see him briefly in a movie called
The Other Sister
Is he like just on the TV or something?
Yep
Jeff Meet the Fockers Jeff
Meet the Fockers
Mm-hmm
John
Kramer vs. Kramer
Correct
Marathon Man
Mm-hmm
I would've gotten there I would've gotten there Man.
I would have gotten there.
I would have gotten there, but we kept going down the line. I'm sorry.
All the President's Men.
Oh, it's my turn?
All the president's men.
Jeff?
The Graduate?
Yeah.
Did that really go two rounds?
Yeah, The Graduate featured in The Other Sister.
You named a movie where they watched The Graduate
and The Graduate came back to me.
Yep.
Still in.
What Kurt's doing now is lulling the rest of the players
into a false sense of security.
He's going to tear it up in the Leonard Maltin game.
John.
Little big Man.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
That's a lot of them.
Yeah.
Turns out. I can't believe I didn't hit him on the first try. I was like, he's not lot of them. Yeah. Turns out.
I can't believe I didn't hit him.
I was like, he's not in any movies.
Raid Man's the only man movie he's in.
Turns out it's more.
Don't be quiet.
Somebody's yelling out an answer out there.
Probably just a joke, but.
Sleepers?
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's in that movie.
Yes, he is.
Okay, it's back to me.
I'm going to go with
I Heart Huckabees.
Jeff?
Little Fockers.
Mm-hmm.
I just only want to name the good ones.
I just stayed away from that because I didn't want to name the good ones. I just stayed away from that
because I didn't want to make a mistake
because he's not in every one of those.
Anyway.
Moving on.
John?
That disease movie.
Outbreak.
More specific.
Outbreak.
Yeah, you got it.
Outbreak.
Outbreak Man, I used to call it.
Chris.
Stranger Than Fiction.
Oh, okay.
I'll go with Wag the Dog.
Jeff.
Runaway Jury.
Okay.
Oh, wow.
Forgot about that sack of garbage.
It's the fourth meet the parents John?
One of my favorite movies
Totally underrated classic
Ishtar
Have you ever done a pancake-oo about Ishtar?
I would never do Ishtar
I would never do it, it's good
Chris?
Chris? I think never do Ishtar. I would never do it. It's good. Chris?
I think the name of the movie,
I'm pretty sure it's called Confidence.
Yeah.
How confident are you?
I'm very confident. Ed Byrne and the chick with the eyebrows, what's her name?
Rachel Weisz. There you go.
We tried to play Rachel Weisz on this game one time,
and that was a non-starter.
Like, nobody on the panel could name a movie she was in.
I call her the Rachel Weisz angel.
That's a Marathon Man reference.
It fell really flat, but it was pretty smart if you knew the joke.
Okay.
I accept confidence
And I'm gonna go with
Agatha
Agatha
What?
Yeah
Boring ass movie
Jeff
Midnight Cowboy
Yeah
It's quite an obvious one there
Almost
You know
Almost like a man
It's
On our way.
That was the working title, Midnight Cowman.
I mean, yeah.
Maybe Dustin's got a thing that we don't know about.
It originally took place in the Midwest.
And they filmed it once every 12 years.
But that's the thing in the 80s.
Dustin Hoffman would never be on the cover with another Dustin Hoffman.
Two mans.
John?
So there's a movie that he's in with Sharon Stone.
You can't just describe it.
I'm getting there.
Because also it's going to help somebody else to get it.
Oh, shit.
You know what I mean?
Right.
It's a one-word title.
It's got Sam Jackson and Sharon Stone,
and they're like in an undersea space bubble.
Don't say it, you guys.
God damn it.
And they're always talking about going into the weird time anomaly space bubble,
and I always feel like they're talking about masturbating when they do.
They accuse each other of having gone into the space bubble.
Do you know the name of it?
It's called...
What was it again?
I mean, I know it.
I know the title of it.
Don't encourage the audience.
I absolutely know the title,
so just go on to the next player.
Chris, what's it called?
Sphere.
Yeah!
Time circle time bubble?
And you couldn't remember sphere?
You were describing a sphere
for like a minute and a half.
Listen, man. Don't try to deflect
I did better than you
Do you remember the tagline for that movie?
You have nothing to sphere but sphere itself
I love that movie too
Alright John so you're out I'm gonna go with I love that movie too alright John
so you're out
I'm gonna go with
a movie called
Straight Time
it's true
it's a real thing
he played a guy
you know
got out of prison
and had trouble
getting back into society.
Getting back into being straight.
It's time to start.
You're out of jail.
It's straight time.
It's time to be straight.
Yep, straight has more than one meaning.
Jeff, do you got another one?
It's getting tough.
Mad City.
Mad City.
Okay.
I don't even know what that is.
John Travolta and Dustin Hoffman are in it.
Okay.
That sounds legit.
Sure.
Are you sure you're not thinking of Mud City with Matthew McConaughey?
When did it become a city?
Blood City with Matthew McConaughey?
When did it become a city?
Chris, what do you got?
I was kind of hoping John Erler would start describing another Dustin Hoffman movie.
I can do that.
Because I was out before Sphere, so I'm out of, I can't think of any.
Drawing a blank. What the fuck, guys? It's all right. I can't think of any you're on a blank what the fuck guys
it's alright
I don't have to leave
it's totally alright
yeah yeah
and the audience
they know
Kurt's been up here
for like 10 minutes
hasn't named the movie yet
I feel more at ease
I'm gonna go with
Papillon
Papillon
it's the story of a sleepy father figure Papillon. Papillon. It's the story of a sleepy father figure.
Papillon.
Anything, Jeff?
You're a winner whether you get one or not.
Okay, then I'm going to say this
because it's stuck in my head because of everything else.
There's no way that fucking movie is called Lucky Man, is it?
Or is it Lucky You?
There was a series that he was in about horse racing called Lucky.
Called Luck.
No, no, no.
There was a movie where he played like some old divorce guy who met some like slightly younger British lady.
And then he got lucky.
And it's either Lucky you or lucky man.
I don't know.
I think you're thinking of Mr. Majorium's Wonder Emporium.
Opus.
But you're still our winner.
Jeff Tay wins the game.
Woo!
Which movies did we miss?
Hook, Jesus Christ.
Hook, of course, fucking Hook.
God damn it.
Death of a Salesman.
Was there another man?
Death of a Salesman.
Death of a Salesman was an HBO thing.
Perfume.
Kung Fu Panda
and Kung Fu Panda 2.
Straw Dogs.
That's a big one.
Hero. Dick Tracy
where he played Mumbles.
Cool Runnings.
He's in Chef.
He's in Chef. He's in Chef!
Holy shit.
I thought we did so good.
Yes, Hero.
I said that one too.
4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12,
13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21.
Yeah, we got about 30 of them, I think.
Yeah.
Not too bad.
Let's do it. Let's play the Leonard Maltin game.
All right, first of all, the Dustin Hoffman movie that Jeff was thinking of
was called Last Chance Harvey.
All right, so the only thing we're missing here is a minute or two of audio,
and all you need to know is that i decided to read
leonard malton's review of the other sister because i mocked it the night before with john
erler and the moto pancake guys uh so we will join that review reading in progress
attempts to free herself from a smothering mother.
That's...
The movie should have been
called Smother.
Smother.
Appealing performances
by Lewis and Giovanni Ribisi
as her boyfriend
help make up
for the wandering nature
of the screenplay.
What?
Though it would be hard
not to shed a tear
by the end.
Really?
We were joking around during the end,
but Juliette Lewis gives a pretty good speech there at the end.
What did she say?
It's pretty heartfelt when she's telling him how much she loves him.
It's cute.
I mean, it's a fucking stupid movie, but...
I think she's a good actress.
Negative two.
Wait, is that the one?
We're not playing yet.
That was just me sharing what Leonard had to say about that movie.
If I can get a vodka tonic, that would be awesome.
Did you already ask for one and not get it?
Oh, just finished it.
I finished that one.
I would like another, please.
All right, I'll take one too while we're at it then.
Thank you.
Jeff gets to pick a category.
And he gets to choose between these three.
The Babadookie.
That's horror films that Leonard gave two stars or less.
Want to do some lines.
That's movies where a conga line breaks out.
Yeah, sorry, Mark Wahlberg isn't here today.
And your third option
would be Streep Throat.
And that's movies where
Meryl Streep has an accent.
Streep Throat.
Which ones of those would you
like to play, Jeff?
Streep Throat.
Okay.
She's got an accent in this movie from 1988.
Leonard gives it three and a half stars.
He calls the movie astonishing.
I should say he calls the story it's based on astonishing.
He also says that...
Obviously Meryl streep is in
this and he says this particular film she's heartbreakingly good and then he also gives an
alternate title to this movie uh it was also known as i'm just say it, I hope you guys don't know this particular piece of trivia, is also known as Evil Angels.
Yeah.
Eight names, Jeff.
Kurt has a question.
I have a question.
Even though the floor is not open to questions.
Great.
The accent, does it have to be from another country,
or can it just be like, I'm deep today?
Technically, she has some sort of accent
in every film she's in.
Okay.
Sometimes it's just not a foreign accent.
It's just her talking like herself.
Thank you.
Got some beverages.
Eight names.
Thanks, Chris.
Jeff's taking all eight names.
What are you going to do with that, John?
I'm going to do it in one name.
Oh.
I'm going to do it in zero names.
Oh.
I guess I gave some pretty good clues on that one.
Now, Kurt, you know what goes on here.
Name it.
Oh, this is name it.
What are you, how?
What's it called, Chris?
Death Becomes Her?
No.
What did you think it was, John?
Sophie's Choice?
No.
What is it?
Jeff, what did you think it was?
He didn't.
The Devil Wears Prada.
What was it?
No, not She-Devil.
It's weird she's got so many devil movies.
French Lieutenant's Woman.
It was exactly.
A person over here named it exactly.
The actual full title, That Shit With The Dingo.
That's what I would have called it.
That's why it had an alternate title for when it was on cable.
Yeah. No, it was on cable. Yeah.
No, it was called
A Cry in the Dark,
but in Australia,
they just straight up
called it Evil Angels,
which I guess is probably
their nickname for dingoes.
Because they're so adorable,
but they'll eat your baby.
It's better than if you find out
that's their nickname
for Meryl Streep.
Evil Angel.
So Kurt Bronnerler's on the board
with one point.
Well done.
Oh, jeez.
Bold move on the part of
Chris Cubis.
I did not pay off.
Literally, I had no idea.
I just, evil angels made me think of Death Becomes Her
and I was like, ah.
She probably talks like a rich, stuck-up bitch in that movie.
That's kind of an accent.
Okay.
I think her head goes all the way around in that movie.
That's pretty cool.
Yeah.
John gets to pick the next category,
and then we will go to Jeff and Kurt.
What?
Huh?
Isn't it me?
What happened? Why? Isn't it me? What happened?
Why?
Kurt challenged.
Kurt challenged.
Right, but we start the farthest away from that and then head back.
Because you're not on four-person panels a lot,
but that's how I've been doing it, yeah.
But thanks for the heads up.
No, I'm embarrassed now.
Can we cut this part out?
We could stop talking about it.
If that's what you mean by cut it out. Can we cut this part out? We could stop talking about it.
If that's what you mean by cut it out.
Quit it!
John, your first option is Argo.
That, of course, is movies that end in Argo. Or we're going to need a bigger goat.
Ask Kurt.
He's got the goat hookup.
That's movies.
Roustabout!
We're going to need a bigger goat
is movies that take place on a farm.
And another option is
we're going to need a bigger coat.
And that's films where someone is frozen.
Which one of those would you like to play?
These are all good categories.
They're great categories.
Some of the best ever.
It's a shame to only get to pick one. Yeah.
I'm going with the wordplay one.
I'm going with Argo.
Okay.
This movie ends in Argo.
It is from 1948.
Well, it's not the one I was thinking of.
Three and a half.
Three and a half stars from Leonard
for this movie. He says it has a
dandy cast.
He says it's the
adaptation of a play.
And he also
says
someone in it won the best supporting
actress Oscar.
And he lists
3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 10 names.
How many names do you need?
Oh, I think I know this one.
I can do it
in four names.
Name it.
Okay, Jeff, I don't know why you hesitated like that.
Thought you'd say it faster, like while he was still talking.
I actually tried to, but I choked on something.
You choked and you choked.
A lot of times when somebody chokes, it has nothing to do with choking.
Wait, what?
Your four names.
Bold, John Erler.
Yeah.
I said bold.
Not bold.
I heard you.
Harry Lewis. Oh, yeah. Dan Seymour. No. Harry Lewis.
Oh, yeah.
Dan Seymour.
No.
Mark Lawrence.
Maybe.
And Jay Silverheels.
Whoa.
Who, of course,
went on to star
in The Devil Wears Prada.
And this movie
was described as dandy, right?
The cast is dandy, right?
The cast is dandy.
Of course, Silver Heels is in it.
What do you think it is, John?
It's probably The Lone Ranger Goes to Key Largo.
Is that your final answer?
I mean, I can't do much worse than that.
That's what you want to go with?
I'm going with Key Largo.
That's correct. Yeah!
Now, be careful with that kind of thing,
because normally I take the first answer you give.
Thank you for your mercy.
But I knew you were kidding around.
Thank you.
I hoped you were kidding around.
All right, we got John Erler has a point
and Kurt Brauneller has a point.
The other two fellas need to catch it up.
Yeah.
That's right.
So Jeff challenged John,
so we'll start with Kurt and go to Chris.
Kurt. Kurt.
Yeah.
Red underscore beard 033 not only has one of the catchier Twitter handles you could come up with,
he also suggested Jurassic Pork, and that's films where Jeff Goldblum has sex.
has sex.
Or Magic Ark on Twitter
suggested Big Hero
Six Feet Under.
And that, of course, is films where T.J. Miller
gets killed.
And Rocktober Supers
suggested
Turner and Cooch.
And that's movies
where Kathleen Turner
appears nude.
Turner and her cooch.
Turner and cooch.
Okay.
The year is 1981.
Three stars from Leonard for this movie
where you see all of Kathleen Turner.
He says about this movie that it's over-derivative.
Not just the right amount of derivative?
Nope, it's over-derivative.
And it's also the first,
it's the directorial debut
of the director of this film.
And he lists six names.
How many names can you get it in?
That's for me, correct?
Kurt Braunohler.
Six.
Oh, I forgot my drink was here.
He says six names, Chris.
I want to...
Oh, fuck.
I want to...
He's already got a point.
He sure do.
But I don't think he's going to get it anyway,
even if I give him all six names.
Five names.
That's a risky move.
Five names.
I'm glad you did the right thing.
John?
This movie came out
in 1981.
And it has Kathleen
Turner and her
cooch in it.
I'm sorry.
Did I say 81?
I meant 51.
I'm kidding.
Kathleen Turner
is really old.
81.
I can name it
in zero
Oh fuck you
I'm just kidding
I don't know for sure
But I think I might
Alright Jeff
Isn't that episode of Friends
Where she played Chandler's dad
Is that it
I'm real fucked here
Cause if I say name it
He can win
If I guess
He can win
I'm gonna go negative one
Woo
I'm just letting you know That I know. I'm going to go negative one.
I'm just letting you know that I know that I'm fucked. I apologize.
I get it. I'm in the stink hole.
Name it.
Body Heat William Hurt.
That's correct.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Fuck! That's correct. Yeah! Ah, that's a beautiful thing.
How's your ska band, by the way?
That's a joke for the
people that can see Jeff
We're doing pretty well man
We're playing downtown tonight
just on the street
like you do in Austin
We just set up and start playing
and I'm the guy who dances
And then after you're done you pick it up pick it up pick it up Like you do in Austin. We just set up and start playing, and I'm the guy who dances.
And then after you're done,
you pick it up, pick it up, pick it up.
Skip it a bit.
Alright.
We got a three-way tie.
Chris is the only person that's not on the board yet,
but he's going to have a chance right now because John Earler is going to start it off,
but then we go to Chris.
John gets to pick between
Ken Jennings.
Oh.
Yeah.
He's a frequent guest on the show
and Jeopardy champ.
Did you know I'm a Jeopardy champ too?
What?
Yeah.
I think you told me that before.
I might have told you.
Like the home version?
I guess I'm right all the time.
He just talks around it
until he gets there.
Yeah, that's right.
Yeah, I hope...
Did you have to say
what is sphere at any point?
Thankfully, I did not.
Funny thing about presidents, Alex.
The Ken Jennings category is movies that are in
the titles in the form
of a question
oh
yeah
and then
someone named
Sagan Baggins
suggested
Apollo 86
and that's movies
where Carl Weathers dies
and at Jordan Cole sucks 86, and that's movies where Carl Weathers dies.
And at Jordan Cole sucks, suggested, is he here?
Yay.
Interstellar got her groove back.
And that's Matthew McConaughey, you know, romantic Matthew McConaughey movies.
McConaughey rom-coms.
What do you think, John?
Which one of those would you like to play?
I'm going to go with the Ken Jennings category.
All right.
Would you like a movie that is in the form of a question from 1965, 1987, 1989, or 2007?
As you can imagine, there are a lot of them. Yeah, 89.
Okay.
Two stars from Leonard.
He says the lead actor
in this movie is ideally cast
and that it has
some very funny moments.
That's helpful.
But too much outright
silliness.
Yeah, you don't want that silliness. Yeah.
Yeah, you don't want that silliness in your comedies.
So you're saying you did see Mordecai?
No. He lists 12 names.
I can do it in 12.
Smart opening bid.
We go to Chris.
89.
You have to bid less than 12.
Fuck it, 11.
Fuck it, 11.
Kurt.
Four.
Strong.
Don't freak me out, guys.
Yeah.
You can do this again.
You can pull this out of your hat.
He's actually wearing a hat.
You can't see, but he's wearing a hat.
Chris has to pull answers out of his hair.
That's not why he's not winning today.
What's going to happen? He said four names.
I'm going to say negative one.
You could have just done zero, man.
I'm going to let... No, no, because I know
if it's what it is. Respect. If you pull this victory off, You could have just done zero, man. I'm going to let... No, no, because I know the... Okay.
All right, all right.
Respect, respect.
If you pull this victory off...
Yeah, I don't know.
We got to see what... We got to see what John Erler's going to do.
Any chance it's...
Wait, wait, wait.
John Erler gets to...
He gets to decide.
Yeah, he could...
I say name that tune.
Okay.
Okay.
Let me just tell John what he just passed up on real quick.
A chance for a four-way tie.
Because if you just said negative whatever,
and then Chris challenged you, you miss it,
he'd get a point and you'd all still be playing.
We'd have a game.
But instead, the game is now about to end.
Good work.
Any chance it's
John Candy, Who's Harry Crumb?
That is correct.
Holy shit.
Yeah.
That's impressive.
Holy shit, you guys guys That's impressive
That was an impressive
What a pull that you got there
That's tournament of champions
Level play right there right
What's that
I'm gonna have to add an extra M to my name
An extra N?
You don't have any N's in your name.
I said M.
You don't have any M's
in your name either.
Jeff Tate?
I would just put another M at the end of my first one
and I'd be like Sam.
Jeff Tatum. Sam Levine.
I was making a Sam joke.
We'll cut this part out too.
Yeah.
I can only do one or the other.
I can only be good at the game.
You can either win or be funny.
Right.
The Kurt Braun-Holler story.
Kurt, what do you got to plug, man?
Just go watch Roustabout.
It's on cc.com and on YouTube.
It's a crazy road trip down the Mississippi on a jet ski
and a lot of stand-up.
A lot of great people are in it.
You'll love it.
Bye-bye.
Oh, it is down the river, though.
I went.
I went.
I thought you went around.
No, I went Chicago River to Illinois River to Mississippi River.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
All the way to Chicago.
What did you do with your name tag?
Oh, here it is.
That's right there.
Is there a shithead on the back?
Yes.
Chris, what do you got to plug?
My new podcast, Canceled.
We watch TV shows that
only last in a season
and we talk about them. It's super fun.
We're in the middle of Firefly right now and next we're doing
Cop Rock, which is the
craziest fucking show I've ever
seen.
It's very strange.
It's very weird.
And then watch Sleepy Hollow on Fox.
Let me see your shit.
I'm not in it or anything, but you know.
Give it a chance.
It might be good.
None of you have seen it.
What?
Weird.
Let me see that name again. I'm going to write it down on this one
because I got to get this thing right
cancelled it's on iTunes and you can go to my website
chriscubas.com it's on there
I'm on podbean
cancelled pod on twitter
at chriscubas on twitter
did I stall enough for you to write down
yes perfect
awesome
I'm licking whipped cream off my fingers
it's the most hard to remember shithead I've ever seen.
I want to make sure I do it right.
John, you got a name?
So that's everything that we were able to salvage.
Apologies to John Erler and Jeff Tate for not getting their plugs in.
So please follow them on Twitter and see what they're up to.
And I'll have them back on the show again soon. And apologies to the shitheads that I can't
remember. One was definitely my mom, which was not cool. Got a big laugh when I said it. And I think
the other one was Toll Roads, maybe? Please tweet at me whatever the third shithead was that I had a hard time remembering when it was written right there in front of me.
So I don't remember what it was.
And as always, I'm not going to name names, but failing to record all of Doug Lo's movies is a shithead.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you.
Cause Doug loves movies.