Doug Loves Movies - Kyle Kinane, Sean Cullen and Aparna Nancherla guest

Episode Date: October 4, 2015

Live from Toronto's Just For Laughs festival, Doug welcomes Kyle Kinane, Sean Cullen and Aparna Nancherla to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy ...Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, hey, hey! Today's episode is brought to you in part by our friends at Squarespace, the easiest way to create a beautiful website, blog, or online store for you and your ideas. Squarespace features an elegant interface, beautiful templates, and of course there's that Squarespace incredible 24-7 customer support. Try Squarespace at squarespace.com and enter the offer code Doug at checkout to get 10% off. Squarespace, build it beautiful. Enjoy the show. Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming baby sticky seeds. With 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth, there's still not one that he won't see.
Starting point is 00:00:42 Because Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody. My name is Doug. And I love movies. I had a feeling that that cue was going to get messed up when you said, you started yelling that I love movies as soon as I said my name was Doug. We're coming to you once again from the Queen Elizabeth Theatre
Starting point is 00:01:35 as part of the Just for Laughs Festival, Just for Laughs 42 in Toronto, Canada! Canada! Canada! Not Toronto, California, as I said on a recent show. Thank you for not all of you complaining about it. I'm sure it's even people
Starting point is 00:01:59 that don't even live in Toronto that gave me a hard time about it. I didn't arrange for the house lights to come up ahead of time, but if they could for a moment, I'd appreciate it because I'd like to see your name tags. Oh, beautiful.
Starting point is 00:02:16 So many good ones. So many big ones and light up ones. There's something James Bond back there where it's my face instead of james bond i like that i'm totally down with that and uh yeah it's the lighting is weird in here with the house lights up i can i can't see anybody in the front few rows it's interesting yeah but my guests will be able to see you because they'll walk amongst you and figure it out. Planet Gibbons.
Starting point is 00:02:48 Planet of the Gibbons. Because your last name is Gibbon, I hope and pray. Because if your first name is Gibbon, that sucks. Hi, my name's Gibbon. Thank you to everybody for bringing those name tags and shielding yourself from the rain with them probably i had a fantastic time at fantastic fest in ox austin texas and i look forward to having fun times three at the fun fun fun fest in austin in november this thursday douglas movies comes to new orleans uh as part of Hell Yeah Fest.
Starting point is 00:03:26 Yeah, you thought Just for Laughs was a cool name for a festival. Fucking Hell Yeah Fest. I'm going to do Stand Up Wednesday, and then we're going to do a Doug Loves Movies on Thursday, but bring your name tags to the stand-up show if you want to play. DougLovesMovies.com, DougLovesMovies.com. Who is staying here tonight at the Queen Elizabeth for Dr. Katz Live? Nice!
Starting point is 00:03:52 I've got my first appointment with the doctor tonight. I hope he's cool with me being really high during the session. I think he's all right with that. From the corrections department, the movie John Erler tried to jam into Bill the title, Peter Weir is not a thing. He was thinking of the other one, The Long Strange Trip of Bob Weir. So he even, yeah, it was, if he'd have known that whole title, that would have been great because that would have made a really, really long title. Let's take a
Starting point is 00:04:33 look in the prize bag, you guys. Lots of fun stuff. I went to see the movie Sicario today. You guys like that movie? Yeah? You guys got on that fast. Didn't it open yesterday? Good job. I saw it. Good job preparing for today. You don't have to worry about spoilers. But I saw it at the Cineplex, and the alarm, the fire alarm in the building went off during the movie,
Starting point is 00:05:03 which is, it's the perfect movie for loud, sudden alarm. And in fact, the first thing it did was it went, boop, like that. And I thought whatever Emily Blunt was being saying, whatever blunt talk she was into at the time was being censored by Canada or something. I thought you guys put bleeps into your movies here. But in fact,
Starting point is 00:05:27 it was a false alarm, but a false alarm that proceeded to the alarm kept going off for about 40 minutes, half an hour. Long time to be watching a movie in every few minutes here.
Starting point is 00:05:39 The alarm has been set off and we are looking into it. But it wasn't even that casual sounding. It was like a recording of a guy saying that, and it went off over and over and over again. But I stuck to it. I sat through the movie,
Starting point is 00:05:52 thought several times about just going and getting my money back and trying to watch the rest of it later, but then I have to sit through the first part again. Not that I didn't enjoy it, but, you know, I'm in a rush right now to watch a lot of movies. Because I have to watch like 200 of them, or 140 of them, I think, by New Year's Day. To meet my 365-day Doug Loves Movies challenge. You can hear all about that on Doug Loves Minis podcast.
Starting point is 00:06:19 And as I was leaving, they gave me a courtesy ticket to come back for free to Cineplex. It's in the prize bag. That's so exciting. I mean, I don't know if you could, the fancy theater that I saw it in, like the VIP theater, was like 25 bucks a seat. So when you use this, please insist on a $25 seat. Because that's what I fucking paid to listen to the goddamn alarm going off over and over again. My friend in Los Angeles, Kimberly Cogden, gave me some booby tees. This is her boobs on a shirt that you can wear.
Starting point is 00:07:00 I got to give them proper credit here. It's called custom titties, custom titties.com. So go get one of those. If you can, my friend, uh, bald Brian from the Adam Carolla show wrote a great book about his, uh, situation with, uh, having a tumor that he is, he survived. This is an apostymist book. And so I'm including that in the prize bag to spread the love on that. I don't believe in keeping books once you've read them. Here's something that I'll never have any use for.
Starting point is 00:07:35 At Fantastic Fest, at a screening of the movie Dangerous Men, they gave out songs from the soundtrack on cassette tape. So enjoy that if you can figure out a way to do that from a special things record, special thing records. We've got the latest from Hampton Yount called Bearable and my latest promotional tool. And then backstage, they've just got a bunch of candy. So I grabbed a fistful of it, put it in the bag. I'm not going to eat it, but I deserve my share. Let's get my guests out here. One of whom might not even be here yet because of an Uber situation.
Starting point is 00:08:23 That's right. Rob Ford stopped his Uber. Like Rob Ford is standing in front of one car right now, preventing my guests from coming to the show. Please give a big warm welcome to Aparnananchola, Kyle Kinane, and Sean Cullen. Hey, y'all. Sit wherever you like. Yeah, enjoy that. We get one table for all of your stuff. I get my own table. My seat dropped a great deal.
Starting point is 00:09:09 Yeah. These have the fun thing on the side where you can pump it up. You can Elvis Costello your chair. Till you can't feel it. Oh. What? Don't even need it Well we might as well get to him
Starting point is 00:09:28 That's Sean Cullen Canada's favorite Thank you for having me In my own town I call you my favorite Canadian Well that's That's a bit rich isn't it? Alright
Starting point is 00:09:42 You probably have a more favorite Canadian I don't think so. Ryan Reynolds? He's pretty awesome Canadian. Yeah, he is. See, when you start naming them, you think, well, maybe one's going to beat me. William Shatner? There's more than you think.
Starting point is 00:09:58 It has to be. This is the thing. They're like, they just spread like a disease. Dave Coulier. Dave Coulier. Dave Coulier. Sure. Seth Rogen. Alan Thicke.
Starting point is 00:10:08 Yeah. This is a fun game. What's her name? Rachel McAdam. Is Shania Twain. McAdams is a Canadian? Yes. Is Shania Twain Canadian?
Starting point is 00:10:19 Yes, she is, from Timmins, Ontario, home of coal and her. Let's meet Aparna Nancherla first, you guys. Hi. Hi. Aparna Nancherla. That's it. That's how you sing her name. I love singing that name.
Starting point is 00:10:43 And I feel so bad. Your chair is so low. No, I made it low. When everyone was making theirs low, I made mine low, and it was a mistake. Oh, there you go. There we go. There you go. Jump up on that.
Starting point is 00:10:57 Hey, hey, hey, hey. I don't like it now. Yeah. Is that better, Sean? Oh, no. This is riveting podcast chair work. Yeah Is that better Sean? Oh no This is riveting podcast chair work That's why you have to see the show live You never know what kind of fun is being had
Starting point is 00:11:13 With the chairs This is Aparna's first time On Doug Loves Movies everybody First time Here Hilarious comedian and twitterer who was doing tons of shows here at
Starting point is 00:11:28 JFL 42, which is called that because the festival's been going for 42 years. 42 dog years. It's called 42 because we are four of the 42, I think. I'm not sure. Oh, no, I wouldn't be included. You're not one of the three. We are three of the 42. I'm from sure. Oh, no, I wouldn't be included. We are three of the 42.
Starting point is 00:11:46 I'm from Canada. Locals don't count. What a cruel system. It is vicious. Vicious, but fair. And you have... Aparna has a few more shows this evening. I do. Do you know where they're at? I believe Comedy
Starting point is 00:12:01 Bar 8. So rush over there after this, you guys. Three hours. You have three hours. Garrison at 11, and then Andy Kindler's Alternative Show at midnight, which is always so fun. That's always a good time. Always fun. Fair enough. And did you bring us something for the prize bag today?
Starting point is 00:12:22 I did. I brought a coveted Pantages hotel shower cap. That is... Is that part of the Hydro Basics line? Yes. Limited edition. Yeah. Yeah, and for our French friends, it's a bonnet de douche.
Starting point is 00:12:42 That's right. de douche. That's right. I also brought a very limited edition How to Be a Woman airport copy, Caitlin Moran's memoir. It's actually really good.
Starting point is 00:12:53 Oh, okay. But why do you say it's an airport copy? Because it's a Hudson News original. That's where it was purchased. Well, that's awesome. We got a couple of books
Starting point is 00:13:03 in the bag. Oh, you got more? One last thing. This is a couple of books in the bag. Oh, you got more? One last thing. This is a green room donut in a cup. She took one of the donuts and just jammed it in here. I did. Because the cup is not really big enough to hold a donut. I saw the donuts.
Starting point is 00:13:20 I prefer my desserts out of a cup. I don't know why. I find it. Grab yourself a fork or just use your fingers. Have yourself a time. Well, thank you. Thank you. Parna for bringing all of this fabulous stuff for the bag.
Starting point is 00:13:33 We've already heard him sing. Hope to hear him sing again later in the show. Sean Cullen, everybody. Thank you. I'm sorry an American comic Couldn't be here to be on the show You people don't Your 42nd appearance on the show
Starting point is 00:13:52 Is it really? Yeah the most of all Canadians That's for sure Well that's for sure Yeah And what do you have for the bag sir? Well sir for the bag A bonnet to do sure
Starting point is 00:14:03 Qu'est-ce que c'est? I brought my book. This is the shitty mass paperback version where they got kind of a man who had brain injury to just do a picture of what he thought the book
Starting point is 00:14:19 was about. And then... So he got it completely wrong yes i don't think there's any moment where a child in a t-shirt is holding up a glowing thing amid some skyscrapers uh on a flat surface uh that does not happen in the prince of Neither Here Nor There. That's correct. That's set in Toronto. It's about fairies, and it's fun. Is anything on the back true? Yes.
Starting point is 00:14:51 Join Brendan? Yeah, that's my son. He's the prince of Neither Here Nor There? That's correct. In this, the first book in the Chronicles of the Misplaced Prince series. That's great. How many books are in the series? Well, I wrote two, and I plan to write more.
Starting point is 00:15:04 Is that all right with you? Yeah. That's an impress How many books are in the series? Well, I wrote two and I plan to write more. Is that alright with you? That's an impressively large book for a comedian. Normally it's just some memoirs like, and this is how I stopped doing coke because of Baltimore. And it's like 83 pages long. But every other
Starting point is 00:15:20 word is fuck. Yeah. So, it's a kid's book. I love that whore. And I was in Edinburgh this year, and I went to this skateboard shop, and they were selling coffee mugs, and I thought, what do people on skateboards never have in their hand?
Starting point is 00:15:42 If they do, it's just a coffee cup with a donut in it. Yeah, that's right. Oh, yes. You know, remember, the donut in a cup reminds me of what? Wally. Cupcake in a cup. The sesquicentennial cupcake in a cup. Celebrate our... From the movie Wally?
Starting point is 00:16:00 Wally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You said Wally, and it's like, reminded me of Wally. And I thought you were just flashing back on a guy you knew named Wally. We all dunked our donuts in our coffee. He poured his coffee over his donuts. Well, I've just been hotboxing
Starting point is 00:16:14 in the downstairs bathroom right now, so I've lost it. But this is from a company called Focus, and I liked what their slogan is, serving up the good shit since 2001. What? Do you have one of these for yourself?
Starting point is 00:16:29 I have another one, and I didn't want to give it up because it's got a picture of a brontosaurus with Bill Hicks on the back, and Jesus leaning against the brontosaurus's front leg. Wow. You're right to keep that one. That's the one. That's a good one. It's a smart thing to do. And that's Kyle Kinane, everybody.
Starting point is 00:16:50 Yay! Also in town, because he's one of the 42 and doing shows. You have one later tonight and then some tomorrow maybe? I have two tonight at the Royal Theater. And that's it.
Starting point is 00:17:10 Okay, so two tonight Royal Theater. Sounds pretty fancy. It's real fancy. I heard it's an old movie theater. Oh really? I think it's also just a movie theater now. Or that, but it's old too. And you have to stand at the side because they're showing a movie. now. Or that, but it's sold, too.
Starting point is 00:17:26 And you have to stand at the side because they're showing a movie. They've got to double up. You've got to wait for them to film like a nature scene so you can get the jokes out. I don't want to talk over the dialogue. It's actually a pretty shitty gig. You shouldn't come. Don't go to his shows, you guys.
Starting point is 00:17:43 Especially people listening to this because they won't hear it until tomorrow. And did you bring something for the bag? Yeah. Boy, did I get creative. I went to Edinburgh too, but I just got an apple. How'd you bring that back into the country?
Starting point is 00:18:00 You probably can't travel. You don't want to ask those kind of questions. Wow. That apple smells. I had to walk out of that airplane like a cowboy, just real bow-legged. But I figure, you know, it's October, it's Halloween, and you're not supposed to take apples from strangers because they put razor blades in them.
Starting point is 00:18:24 But you're going to take this one. And I brought a Diet 7-Up. That's from backstage? No, I brought it from home. I was just so surprised when I got here. And they're like, oh, you can give them some of this stuff. I'm like, man, I wanted my own Diet 7-Up stash for gifts. Yeah, I took it from backstage.
Starting point is 00:18:44 And there's a piece of ice. Yeah, a piece of ice to keep it cool. Well, pass those on down here, and I will throw them out. All right, they're going in the bag. I hope this cold, wet can doesn't hurt anything. Books don't mind. Leave it out here until it gets warmer. Oh, you got one for yourself, too, did you?
Starting point is 00:19:19 I got a full-flavored Coca-Cola for myself. Now, Kyle. Yeah. It fell out. It's actually now cleaner than it was. It's now been cleaned up a little bit. It came all the way from Europe, that apple. Yeah, this apple wants adventure.
Starting point is 00:19:45 It doesn't want to be contained in a bag. But it's going to stay in there now, damn it. I'm going to put it all on the... Do you want me to tie that up for you? Wrap it in that boob t-shirt. You're the voice of Comedy Central in the U of S of A but that doesn't translate up here, right?
Starting point is 00:20:12 There's no There's Comedy Channel here but you're not the voice of Comedy Channel Network Comedy Network is what it's called? It's where we get all the shows that were on Comedy Central and then air them up here. Except for the ones that they show on Much.
Starting point is 00:20:28 Yeah. Which gets very confusing. It's very confusing. All owned by the same company. Oh. I just love Much because I got in yesterday in time to catch the, I love that they show Conan and Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel all just back to back.
Starting point is 00:20:46 They're all from different networks. On the afternoon of the previous night's shows, they just play them all. If I lived here, I would just spend those three hours just sitting near the TV, catching up on all last night's late night shows. It's really convenient,
Starting point is 00:21:02 although defeats the purpose of having networks in the United States. But why should we care? Yeah. Yeah, it's, you know, I can't think of a better word to describe all those shows than much. Too much. So much talking. Oh.
Starting point is 00:21:21 And then they also show At Midnight, which we've all... Of course, love that show. How many wins do you have now, Doug? I've only got one more win than you, but many more appearances than you. So your batting average is much better than mine. I love asking because I have no idea how many times I've won. But Doug keeps score all that stuff. I do it for the love of the game, bro.
Starting point is 00:21:45 The wiki page lists the statistics. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, very clearly. So it's easy to check and see how far Ron Funches is ahead of both of us. I guess when you're on a network television show you could say, put me on for a whole week
Starting point is 00:22:00 and they listen. Yeah, yeah. No, they just got that idea recently to have some contestants on for a full week and I think I'm going to do it sometime soon. I'm sure you will Yeah, yeah. No, they just got that idea recently to have some contestants on for a full week and I think I'm going to do it sometime soon. I'm sure you will too, probably. Yeah. I imagine. Because we're top three, buddy.
Starting point is 00:22:13 There's Ron Funches and then you and me. And we're just in there. We're right down there, yeah. They still haven't had the Tournament of Champions, so put that call out. The 100th episode was the top three winners at that time, but that was a while back, so the show's been on for a couple years now.
Starting point is 00:22:29 It did like 300 episodes. It was me and Ron and Nikki Glaser, but I think you've either passed or tied her, I think. I don't know, Glaser creamed me the other week. That is the only sports-type thing I can talk about is the nerd game show we're all on once in a while. The only thing I can talk about is stats. It's nice to be creamed're all on once in a while. The only thing I talk about is stats. It's nice to be creamed by a glazer, though.
Starting point is 00:22:50 Oh, well played. Thank you. Was that donut you gave me plain or glazer? It's chocolate glazed. Oh, chocolate glazer. Yeah. One more question for Kyle. I'm sorry to be grilling you Two in a row
Starting point is 00:23:06 Jesus take it easy He's gonna crack It's a gotcha question I'm sorry to ask it You were a Paparazzi in the movie Funny People There you go asked and answered
Starting point is 00:23:22 Glad we got to the bottom of that. So was Dan Harmon was the other guy in that scene with me. That's fun. Yeah, that whole movie is just like comics that you didn't know were stand-ups then. And you look back and you're like, oh, this is just all filled with different stand-ups in the background of every shot. Even Dave Rath got a part. Yeah, he got to talk. Dave Rath is your manager too, right?
Starting point is 00:23:46 No, no, no. He's my comedy manager but he still weaseled away into that movie. Showbiz. I distinctly remember you as paparazzi in that scene and I remember like nothing else
Starting point is 00:23:58 from the movie. It was like four hours long. I was that good. Yeah. You really set yourself apart. It's the only part I don't remember. I'm guessing you forgot some other parts.
Starting point is 00:24:09 Makes me want to watch again. And Sean, of course, is also featured in a comedy that I don't recall your part in this movie, but I did see it. You were a referee in The Love Guru? That's correct. It was a great time in my life
Starting point is 00:24:28 where Mike Myers came back to Toronto and gave us all tiny parts in his movie and then edited us out. Wait, it started tiny and then got removed? Well, here's what... I wish I was heading it out, but it didn't work out that way. What happened was, they kept yelling at me,
Starting point is 00:24:53 don't be angry, just tell him he's kicked out of the game. So I'd be like, you're out of here! No, don't be angry. Do it without anger, please. You're out of here! No, you're too angry. You're out of here! Nope, stop being so angry.
Starting point is 00:25:04 You're out of here! And, uh... You're out of here. No, you're too angry. You're out of here. Nope. Stop being so angry. You're out of here. And, uh, you're out of here. And then, you know, the problem is they were also saying you've got one game suspension, two game suspension. You don't give suspensions on the ice and hockey. You don't, there's a governing body that decides those things. I don't just decide you aren't playing for three games in the Stanley Cup finals on my own. But anyway, I'm trying to say that to them. We've got a rogue referee on our hands. I'm trying to say, well, that just makes me look like an idiot saying these things. Anyway, so I get to the movie and I'm watching it and my voice has been edited out
Starting point is 00:25:46 and replaced with someone else's voice. Somebody who knows how to say things nicely. You're out of here. Get out. Anyway, it was, I don't know, because I think I have a nice voice. And I'm a loud voice as well, when needed. And to be told that you have neither of those by someone is bad. You only have the look we're going for. Yeah, which is, I don't know what that look was. Not the voice. Just, we want a man with not you talking. I wonder who, you have no idea who they got to be your voice, right? Just, we want a man with not you talking.
Starting point is 00:26:29 I wonder who, you have no idea who they got to be your voice, right? It was a homeless gentleman who was hanging around outside the, I don't know, it might have been the director himself who did it. Or it might have been Mike, because he might have dubbed out other voices and done them for them. Because he's kind of got that Peter Sellers thing going on. Yeah, he could have done it. You know, Peter Sellers used to go and do, at the end of a film, he would do a recording of him doing all the other characters and give them as gifts to the people who'd
Starting point is 00:26:53 actually played the characters. That is crazy. That is really... Has anybody heard any of those? Are they available? Oh yeah, people kept them. And I imagine now on YouTube you could find them. But, yeah, it must have been very disturbing to get, you know, I was in the party, I played the Texan guy.
Starting point is 00:27:12 Oh, and I got a recording as a gift of someone else doing me as a gift. It's weird. I'm going to send you a recording where I just say, get out of here. Please do. Get out of here. Please do. Please do. Get out of here. I don't even know where we were headed
Starting point is 00:27:30 when you started talking about Peter Sellers. But oh, Mike Myers is the new Peter Sellers, that's right. I kind of think he is. I think he doesn't trust
Starting point is 00:27:37 anybody else to be in a movie with him and he wants to do every character. He likes to play all the parts. Yeah, you want to preserve that kind of stuff
Starting point is 00:27:44 in a love guru. You want to make sure. Well, I likes to play all the parts. Yeah, you want to preserve that kind of stuff in a love guru. You want to make sure. Well, I just think it makes the part of, I think the comedy is the interaction of human beings together to make something funny and have timing. And I think to have timing with yourself is very difficult.
Starting point is 00:28:00 It's been done. Up! He directed... Up! He directed this new documentary that's out it's been done he directed he directed this new documentary that's out where he does of course make an appearance in the documentary it's called
Starting point is 00:28:14 Shep Gordon the super mensch the legend of Shep Gordon and it's very entertaining is it good? I don't think he's a terribly untalented person. No, no.
Starting point is 00:28:26 I just think it gets to the point where you go like, hey, let some other people be in the movie with you. It'll help it. I'm just trying to
Starting point is 00:28:34 help you, Sean, by saying something nice about Mike Myers and you just keep talking about how he won't let me. He doesn't need me to be nice about him
Starting point is 00:28:41 or not be nice about him. It's interesting, though. He plays Shep Gordon in the film. In a documentary. In a documentary. In a documentary. It's a documentary. That's a great choice.
Starting point is 00:28:48 And Mike Myers plays the role through the whole film. Well, Shep really didn't have what it took to be Shep in this documentary. He lets Shep play Mike Myers for a quick scene. No, they're both in it. But Mike Myers clearly knows and loves the man and made a documentary about him, but there's a lot of interviews with people throughout the movie. And whenever Mike's being interviewed, it's like he's talking to somebody like somebody else is directing the movie.
Starting point is 00:29:15 Like he's not just asking himself the questions. It's weird, but he's not in it a lot. But I think you could just do a voiceover at that point, couldn't you, if you're the director of the documentary, it's just people that knew him sitting around saying nice things about him. And whenever Mike Myers says something on camera, it's also kind of funny. Like he had some funny moments.
Starting point is 00:29:35 Yeah. He's a comedian. He is. He's a funny person. I think I heard a very funny story from his brother. And I don't know if this is the right I don't know if I've ever told you this story Is it only me or does it feel like you're just turning your back on Kyle?
Starting point is 00:29:50 Yeah Well, the problem is When you're in a line I'm sorry, Kyle I heard that somewhere I'm sorry, Kyle But it has to do with Anyway, I shouldn't even start this story
Starting point is 00:30:02 It's not fair I think I'm learning a lesson about rotating seats, though. Yeah, it's a problem. Because normally the stools are fixed, so you can't be pulling this crap. But maybe if you switched with Kyle, then when you turn to talk to me, you're not blocking him off? Well, listen, could I? I would stand over here. Just stand over there with your beer in your hand, like you just got fired from being a referee for going rogue.
Starting point is 00:30:25 You're out of here! You're out of here! I'm out of here! Get out of here! You're not going to get rid of me that easy. Are you now playing the homeless man who got your party? I am not. Yes, he used to work at Maple Leaf Gardens.
Starting point is 00:30:45 All right. It feels like Kyle doesn't want to work at Maple Leaf Gardens. All right. It feels like Kyle doesn't want to move. I feel bad. Don't feel bad. We all feel bad. It's a perfect solution. All right. It's a tough industry.
Starting point is 00:30:55 I'll be out of the, I'm out of the show. I'm just happy for you, Kyle, that it looks like you brought. See what I mean? I can't even... This is so sad. I got some stories about Dana Carvey that'll knock your socks off. Oh, no! This is a real...
Starting point is 00:31:17 This is a real vaudeville fest. Sean looks punished on the end. Oh, my God! Yeah. Put it low and turn around. Do not face us. He's in the timeout corner. Fuck yous all. Fuck yous.
Starting point is 00:31:35 I know you're not allowed to use flash in the theater, but I hope people are getting shots of all this action for me to tweet. Let's start with you, Sean. Sean, please spin in my direction and answer the following question. He's difficult to look at right now. Is this okay, Doug?
Starting point is 00:31:56 Oh, boy. I know. What was the last movie you saw? In any format. The last movie I saw was The salvation what's that with uh max mickelson is that his name mads mats mickelson mads mads m-a-d-d-s yes he is uh he plays a danish uh soldier who's involved in the revolution in denmark in 1870s, or fighting against Germans. Anyway, he moves to the West, and his wife, finally, after seven years, comes to their homestead, and he goes to pick her up at the
Starting point is 00:32:36 railroad station, and the stagecoach ride home, she is raped, murdered, and his son is killed, and he is left for dead, and he comes back to get his revenge on every motherfucking one of them. Sounds like my kind of movie. It's pretty great. There's a lot of Danish in it with subtitles, but it's also, like, it's a Western,
Starting point is 00:32:58 and it's really good. Tremendous. And who else is in it? The one from Penny Dreadful, the woman, who's, like... Oh, the woman who's like... Oh, you know who I mean. She was in the 300... I just don't see anything where they're calling it dreadful before I've even started.
Starting point is 00:33:13 Oh, my God. Penny Dreadful is fantastic. But the other... She was in the 300... Eva Green. Eva Green. Yes, of course. She's so fantastic in it.
Starting point is 00:33:22 Casino Royale. She is tremendous in it. She's tremendous. All right. So that's the Casino Royale. She is tremendous in it. She's tremendous. All right. So that's the last one. The Salvation. The Salvation. Okay.
Starting point is 00:33:30 That Mads Mikkelsen is... I love him. He, of course, he's Hannibal on the TV show. I saw him in a movie called Valhalla, and it's a Norwegian movie, again. People love it. And he is this berserker who's missing an eye. And he's kept in a cage and released by his masters to whenever there's a battle.
Starting point is 00:33:51 And it's kind of like the changeover from paganism to Christianity in Norway at about 1000 AD. And he's kind of the holdover from the old times. And it's an incredible movie. Really good. He's just a very, not only skilled actor, but also just feels like there's nothing he wouldn't do. I can't think of the title of it
Starting point is 00:34:14 now, but there's a movie where he gets accused of being a child molester, and he's innocent, but then the whole town turns against him. The hunt. And he molests all the kids, just to make a point. Yes. He's like, if you think I'm a child molester, I'll show you a child molester.
Starting point is 00:34:31 And then I saw him in a movie at Fantastic Fest called Men and Chicken. Holy shit. Their reaction is appropriate because it's an extremely disturbing movie with some weird stuff in it, but also has a lot of heart and he is appropriate because it's an extremely disturbing movie with some weird stuff in it, but also has a lot of heart, and he is hilarious in it.
Starting point is 00:34:50 Like, slapstick, he plays a guy who's a chronic masturbator. Like, when he's like, pull the car over, it means he needs to masturbate now. And his brother has a gag reflex where he can't go for very long without going, and the two of them go on an adventure together. The people that saw it know what I'm saying. It gets weirder from there. The chronic masturbating is not nearly as weird as some of the other shit in this movie. Yeah, so look for that.
Starting point is 00:35:24 How did you guys see Men and Chicken? TIFF. The film festival. Well, I love Mads Mikkelsen. I think he's unbelievable. It's the film festival with the cutest name. It is. My film is premiering at TIFF. Kyle Kinane,
Starting point is 00:35:39 what was the last movie you saw? In the theaters, I saw The Gift. Keeps on giving? No, it was about two hours. It's a movie that I thought was extremely watchable for the whole time. Not boring, interesting.
Starting point is 00:35:59 I walked out, I was like, that was a movie. After it's over, you have no reason to ever revisit it again once you know the twist? Well, I'm a pushover with pretty much anything. So I never know if something's good. Like, I watch it. I'm like, they got to the end. I'm like, oh, that made sense.
Starting point is 00:36:16 That was a story. You went here and then over there. And maybe you weren't going to. And then you made it. And like, it's more like, yeah, finished. Good job. I need somebody else to explain to me. I'm just amazed that movies get made. Like, you know, they did it. And like, it's more like, yeah, finished. Good job. I need somebody else to explain I'm just amazed that movies get made.
Starting point is 00:36:28 Like, you know, they did it. They put it out. That's anytime somebody's like, okay, you make fun of a shitty movie, but then you look at the credits at the end, like, all those people got to buy Christmas presents for their kids because of that movie. So I'm like, I can't, like, so what if it's dumb? So what? It gave a lot of people work. That's such a
Starting point is 00:36:43 great positive reframe. Well, I mean, yeah. I feel like if I get... If I got tricked by a movie, like the preview was great, and then I went paid, and I saw it in the movie, sucked, I'm pissed.
Starting point is 00:36:55 But if it's already going to be a dumb movie, like I love me some Fast and Furious, like the whole thing. Like the whole lot of them. I know what I'm getting into. They should put Charlize Theron in the next one And call it Fast and Furiosa Did you see the Mad Max?
Starting point is 00:37:11 I did see it They got to the end And how I liked it Yeah, it was great I lied, actually the last movie I saw was Santa Paws 3 With the Santa buddies I watched it on TV last night with my children
Starting point is 00:37:29 They're obsessed with dogs and Christmas There's a Christmas movie on TV in September? No, it was on iTunes They watch it over and over again Just part three? They don't watch the whole trilogy? No, they watch each one Here's the first one Santa comes to New York again. Just part three? They don't watch the whole trilogy? No, they watch each one. The first one, Santa comes to New York.
Starting point is 00:37:50 He gets hit on the head, but he has a puppy, and the puppy's trying to remind him who he is, and that's the situation. And that's Santa Paws 1. Santa Paws 2, there's a town that has got the most spirit of any town in the world, but then the Santa puppies, who've just been born to Santa Claus and his lovely wife,
Starting point is 00:38:11 they steal a magic icicle, come down to this town, and proceed to grant horrible wishes to people that lead to the death of Christmas spirit. Cheryl Ladd is Mrs. Santa Claus in it. Cheryl Ladd. I thought this, at first I thought you were talking about those Tim Allen Mrs. Santa Claus in it. Cheryl Ladd. I thought this, at first I thought you were talking about those Tim Allen movies, Santa Claus.
Starting point is 00:38:29 No, Santa Paws. Paws. Dogs. Dog Santa. Is Santa Paws a dog, or is he a man? No, Santa Paws is a dog, and there's Santa Claus,
Starting point is 00:38:38 but Santa Paws is Santa Claus' dog. Do they work? Third movie, Santa Paws is trying to save Christmas because the magic icicle is melting.
Starting point is 00:38:53 And then the six snow buddies, the six buddies from the Air Bud movies, they come and help Santa Paws save Christmas and eventually deliver all the presents in a giant dog sled. And God bless America. It sounds like they phoned in the third one.
Starting point is 00:39:12 Yeah, they really did. George Wendt is Santa Claus. George Wendt. Kyle, that's literally a movie where during the credits you're like, they got Christmas presents. Yeah, exactly. Anyway, I didn't mean to interrupt, but I felt it was important. a movie where during the credits you're like, they got Christmas presents. Exactly. Anyway, I didn't mean to interrupt, but I felt it was important.
Starting point is 00:39:29 Were there cats that were Santa Claus, but CLA does? I've kind of forgot the best part of the third one was there was an evil dog catcher played by Christopher Lloyd. Oh!
Starting point is 00:39:47 Christopher Lloyd got to buy Christmas presents for his kids that year. Who captures all the Santa buds and there's trouble from that. I'm just trying to find, get all you dogs in a cage. And then he gets, it's beautiful. Well, Merry Christmas.
Starting point is 00:40:04 And it changes his whole life and he becomes a good man at the end. Oh, but you, it's beautiful. Well, Merry Christmas. And it changes his whole life and he becomes a good man at the end. Oh, but you know who's also in it? He's a comic. Oh, I'll never remember his name, but I played with him at Largo years ago. Oh, fuck.
Starting point is 00:40:20 What's his name? I forget. Mike Myers. No. Randy Quaid. Randy Quaid. Randy Quaid. No, never mind. You're trying to think of a comedian? Yes, he's tall with dark hair. Who you performed with in Los Angeles? Yeah, tall, dark hair, has one eye, just one tooth.
Starting point is 00:40:37 No, that's not true. Then he'd be memorable, but he's just kind of one of those guys. But he's in which one? He's in the third Santa Claus. Okay, I'll look into that. He's in the third one, Doug. Okay. Are these movies real?
Starting point is 00:40:52 As real as it gets, Doug. Because they make children happy. Have you turned your kids on to the Beverly Hills Chihuahua movies? They've watched them and discarded them. They've watched and discarded. So this Santa Paws is head and shoulders to the animals?
Starting point is 00:41:10 It's not head and shoulders. Do the animals talk? Yes, of course. And there is a dwarf in the movie who's the head elf, and then there's this head elf dog as well, and they travel around in an ice cream truck, and they come and try and save things.
Starting point is 00:41:26 Okay, I'm going to look this up right now real quick. Leonard Maltin does not acknowledge these movies. Really? Yeah, he does not. P-A-W-S? Santa Paws? Santa Paws. Do not exist, according to Leonard.
Starting point is 00:41:42 Well, I'm sorry. Leonard really got his head up his ass over this one. He hates dogs. I had never heard of those things until you talked about it. You would really enjoy them, I think. Were you a Milo and Otis fan ever? Yes.
Starting point is 00:41:57 Oh, yes. A fan of kittens being put in danger. Milo and Otis. Anything with dogs that are talking and cats that are talking, they have the long, the remake of The Incredible Journey.
Starting point is 00:42:11 Have you seen that? Just don't make the dog's mouth move like it's actually saying the words. I don't know why that's where I'll draw the line. If you want to overdub
Starting point is 00:42:19 cats and dogs, great. Now you're making their mouth move? That's all fucked up. Do it the old-fashioned way. Give those dogs some peanut butter and let them work itologue. Great. Now you're making their mouths move. That's all fucked up. Do it the old-fashioned way. Give those dogs some peanut butter and let them work it out. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:42:30 They did. Well, the incredible journey, the latest remake was with Kim Greased as the mother, who's the owner of the dogs, but they had Michael J. Fox was one of the young dogs. Sally Field was another dog, I think, and the third one was Don Amici. Wow. Was a cat. There was a cat, too, right? Oh, Michael J. Fox was one of the young dogs. Sally Field was another dog, I think.
Starting point is 00:42:45 And the third one was Don Amici. It was a cat. There was a cat too, right? Oh, yes, that's right. Don Amici. Don Amici is incredible. I don't know why I know that. It's incredible.
Starting point is 00:42:55 I do love movies. I know you do. Have you seen anything lately, Aparna? I think the last movie I saw in the theater was Inside Out. The greatest movie. Thank you. People love it. It's so good.
Starting point is 00:43:09 So emotional. I wept. Have you seen Inside Out, Kyle? No. It's interesting. I look at you and I think, this is a man who wants to know what's going on in an 11-year-old girl's head.
Starting point is 00:43:21 Oh. This is a man who is interested. That's a real incriminating thing to say You know, nothing I wasn't trying to say that you're like a pervert I just mean that you like Well, now you have You just The beautiful bones
Starting point is 00:43:40 Lovely bones Oh, shit Blew it All right, so you're out Lovely bones. Oh, shit. Blew it. All right, so you're out. Oh, I didn't even start. No, people even know when the games begin or end on this show. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:43:54 Bing bong. Just a lot of random decisions. Bing bong. Mr. Bing bong. Oh, my God. But yeah, Inside Out is very, in spite of me being an adult man and it being about a little girl's brain, it's very engaging. It's an animated thing. They're all different emotions.
Starting point is 00:44:10 Pixar, yeah. Yeah, all right. I think it's the best Pixar in a long time. That looks like a cute movie. It's pretty intense. Did you read for the part of anger or panic? No. Oh, who, Sean? I didn't.
Starting point is 00:44:21 Me neither. I'd never have been given that opportunity. No way. I would have read for the Neither of them. I'd never have been given that opportunity. No way. I would have been read for the part of disappointment. You haven't been a voice in any cartoon? I've been a voice in tons of cartoons. He used his own voice the time he was in a movie. I wasn't even, yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:39 That's the irony of it all. Yay! As long as you don't see my face, my voice works fine. The association throws people off. Don't let them speak. Okay, I'll pull over.
Starting point is 00:45:00 Masturbate. I've let the talk portion of the show go too long, but it was so much fun. Let the games begin! Boy, I saw the trailer for this movie where Tom Hardy plays twins. Oh, Jesus. Yeah, and yeah,
Starting point is 00:45:22 it's like he's playing two guys with garbled speaking glasses. Hey, do you want to go over to my house? That sounds good. Let's go over. Yeah, let's have something to eat. Yeah, we'll have a bite. Maybe we'll catch a booboo. What do you want to get on the pizza? Do you like pineapple and ham? I prefer an anchovy.
Starting point is 00:45:42 Well, let's get two for one, and you can get what you want. That sounds terrific. I'll get what I want. I feel trapped. Call me when it gets here. I'll be in the shadows. We're like the net in a shitty tennis match. Yep, that was our impression of Venus and Serena Williams.
Starting point is 00:46:14 Love to you, game set. All right, lots of folks brought lots of nice name tags, and we'll bring up the house lights a little bit. Oh, now the front of the house looks very bright. I love it. Beautiful. Each and every one of you gets to go pick who you want to play for. Go physically get
Starting point is 00:46:35 your name tag and bring it back to your seat. And while you do that, we'll do this. We'll be right back after these messages. Oh, man. Today's episode is brought to you in part by Fandango. So many great movies coming out this time of year. This weekend, we've got Steve Jobs, the new biopic written by Aaron Sorkin.
Starting point is 00:46:55 I can't wait to see it. I think Aaron Sorkin should write every biopic. Plus, it's directed by the great Danny Boyle. So everyone will be heading to the theater. Get your guaranteed tickets in advance with Fandango. Fandango loves movies. That's why they make going to the movies easy, hassle-free, even for these new movies people have been waiting to see.
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Starting point is 00:47:52 or any movie you want to see this weekend. Download the Fandango app or go online to Fandango.com Today's app is also brought to you in part by DraftKings. Your season-long fantasy football team may be going strong, but you don't have to wait until week 16 to get paid.
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Starting point is 00:49:00 in this Sunday's $1 million fantasy football contest where first place takes home $100,000. Enter movie for free entry now. Only at DraftKings.com. And you know I can't just say it once. That's DraftKings.com. Alright, we're back and
Starting point is 00:49:17 Aparna's got some corn. I got corn. She took a cob of corn with the husk still on it. With the husk still on it. And she wrote Kathy on the husk. Well, I didn't write it. She did. Kathy did. That's her name tag and that's
Starting point is 00:49:33 your choice. Yes. All these people worked really hard. What is the movie that's from? Oh, usually they do a movie title in them, but that's just a piece of corn. And then she wrote her shithead on the back, and if you lose today, then I have to say this person is a shithead at the end
Starting point is 00:49:49 of the show. So we'll keep that a secret until that time comes. And yeah, if you get hungry, you got some corn. Kyle, what's that that you're holding? Do you know? It looks like, oh, I get it? Do you know?
Starting point is 00:50:06 It looks like, oh, I get it. Do you want me to say? Yeah. Oh, I know what it is. It's ex-Juliana instead of ex-Machina, and that's a robot foot. That's the robot. It's a robot foot you're holding. And it looks like the one from the movie.
Starting point is 00:50:18 Yeah, it's very well done. But I'm curious, why did you pick it it kyle it was lit up and looked elaborate that's good two good reasons it's got chicken wire on it you never know when you're gonna need some of that just a little pinch of chicken wire yeah sean yes i just like this picture it's a picture it's from derek. It's a picture, it's from Derek, but it's a picture of you shitting into Willem Dafoe's head. Wow, that's great. And he looks mildly happy about it.
Starting point is 00:50:55 He doesn't mind that I opened up his brain and shit right in there. I don't think there's too many things Willem Dafoe minds. Yeah. It seems like he's all right with a lot of stuff. Willem Dafoe, he'll put up with anything. He's a great actor, very skeletal face. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:13 But he was the original shithead on the show in the early days. So this is a callback. I used to just say him every week, but then this whole thing developed into what we're doing now. And it's nice to see somebody remembering Willem. And I'm still waiting for the day when he gets word of how many times I've called him a shithead. Why, though? Why? Do you not like him?
Starting point is 00:51:35 No, that's the joke. It's like, why would you call Willem Dafoe a shithead? I see. It started off, first I wanted to say Barbara Stanwyck is a shithead. Oh, right. Because why would somebody call an old great actress a shithead? But then I thought of Willem Dafoe,
Starting point is 00:51:47 and a legend was born. Silly things happen. Barbara Stanwyck. Is a shithead. Real shithead. You just don't hear that. You just don't hear that kind of thing. Putting forks in her toaster.
Starting point is 00:52:01 Real shithead, that Barbara Stanwyck. What would be another good one? Burt Lancaster is a shithead. Burt Lancaster is a shithead. I don't hear that kind of thing. Putting forks in her toaster. Real shithead, that Barbara Stanley. What would be another good one? Burt Lancaster is a shithead. Burt Lancaster is a shithead. I don't know. He always,
Starting point is 00:52:10 everybody seemed to think he was a nice guy. Harrison Ford is a shithead. He did Crash Airplane. He kind of is, yeah. Yeah. He got into his own
Starting point is 00:52:18 little shitty plane and then crashed it somewhere where people could have been killed. Oh, but he also was in the horrible, what is it? Six Days, Seven Nights? No, that was terrible.
Starting point is 00:52:32 He was in the third Sylvester Stallone Every Asshole in the World movie. Expendables? Yeah, Expendables. Three? Yeah, he was horrible in that. I just don't know why he did it. There's no Santa Paws 3, that's for sure. Shit. If only Sylvester Stallone would be in Santa Paws 3, then we'd know that fucking dog would be toast.
Starting point is 00:52:53 Finished. Hey, Santa's trying to get the icicle back. Anyway. His face is enormous now, isn't it? Whose face is enormous? Human growth hormone I can't keep up with you Sylvester Stallone His face is gigantic
Starting point is 00:53:10 He's become enormous He's getting a little old man body But he's still got that big head He's only 5'3 you know I know That's not true No but Stallone's short though He's very short.
Starting point is 00:53:25 He's a shorty. You just said something as if it was the truth, and then said, no, that I was lying. He's like 5'10", I think, which is short for a movie star. That's not shorter than me. I think he's shorter than me. He's shorter than you'd think, is what I'm saying. You stand next to Perkinson.
Starting point is 00:53:40 I never thought about how tall he was. He's always been small, which was why they had to find Apollo Creed, the actor who played Apollo Creed, which I forget. He was also quite short. Doesn't Peter Gallagher seem tall? Oh, he's the tallest man I've ever dreamed of.
Starting point is 00:53:55 No, he's shorter than me. Shorter than me. Oh, my God. He's got a big face. I once walked up to Mel Gibson and sat on the top of his skull. That's how small he is. Did you go ahead and shit in there? Yeah. I flipped walked up to Mel Gibson and sat on the top of his skull. That's how small he is. Did you go ahead and shit in there?
Starting point is 00:54:07 Yeah. I flipped it up. As long as you're in the neighborhood. All right, we're going to play as many games as I can fit in now that we've gone this long without playing. I picked out a few good ones, and we're going to start with somebody who already has my back on whatever crazy decision i made uh we're gonna start with a game called doug loves musicals
Starting point is 00:54:31 and uh you love movie musicals right kyle yeah this game is the opposite of at midnight for me because you gotta at midnight you just make stuff up but here you gotta actually know something yeah of At Midnight for me. Because you gotta, at midnight you just make stuff up, but here you gotta actually know something. Yeah, pretty much. Something that's perfectly trivial, though.
Starting point is 00:54:52 There's no reason to know. Musicals, let it rip. Big fan. Okay, here we go. This is just between the folks on stage. I don't care what the town you're from.
Starting point is 00:55:03 The town, get it? care what the town you're from. The town, get it? I'm going to start naming songs in a movie musical, Sean. Oh. And the three of you, as soon as you, you know, guess as many times as you want, but just guess what musical all of these songs is from. La Resistance. La Resistance. Les Miserables?
Starting point is 00:55:30 No. I put that one first because I thought that would happen. Up There is another song from this movie. Up There. Some people in the audience are already figuring it out. Don't yell anything out you guys
Starting point is 00:55:45 Does Top Secret count as a musical? No How about Eyes of a Child Eyes of a Child Is in this musical Also, not Greece Also I Can Change
Starting point is 00:56:00 I Can Change South Park the musical South Park What's. South Park. Yes. Longer, faster, uncut. What's the full title? South Park, longer, thicker, uncut. Close enough.
Starting point is 00:56:13 Yeah. Yeah, it's bigger, longer, and uncut. Okay. Yeah, yeah. That's a tough one to remember, even if you're a fan. Good Love, I'm Super, Mountain Town, What Would Brian Boitano Do? What would Brian Boitano do? What would Brian Boitano do? It's easy, m'kay
Starting point is 00:56:30 Kyle's mom's a bitch I figured that one would be a giveaway Uncle fucka It's a classic And then I saved it for last Because everyone would know what it is And also possibly get mad Blame Canada.
Starting point is 00:56:52 Alright, that's some weird yelling going on. It's like a cartoon character, but man, people were like losing their minds because they knew these titles. La Resistance. Anybody who knew it from just that, that's pretty good. What is it? Your fucking faggot Christ.
Starting point is 00:57:05 That guy. That's just one of my favorite lines. That guy. You watch that cartoon with your kids a lot? Always. It's just the fucksies. Pop it in right after the Paws trilogy. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:15 Let's play a game called Whose Tagline Is It Anyway? We'll start with Sean. I'll say a tagline from a motion picture. Oh. You know, a classic one, of course, is in space, no one eats ice cream. And then you tell me the name of the film it's from. This is just Sean, for starters.
Starting point is 00:57:37 Then we'll go to Kyle if you don't know it or you get it wrong. Okay. Are you ready? I think I am. Okay. What movie had the tagline, Sean, The Coast is Toast? Oh,
Starting point is 00:57:50 The Coast is Toast. Was it Volcano? That is correct! Yay! Let's try, you get to try one, Kyle. Starring Tommy Lee Jones in a hard-hitting performance. I have a love-hate relationship with that movie. Oh. Of course, Dante's Peak came out around the same time
Starting point is 00:58:24 and is more fun because you get to watch an old woman burn to death in lava. Pierce Brosnan wasn't that old in that time. He was still quite young. There's one scene where she has to get out of the boat or something? All right. We'll go to you here, Kyle, and see if you recognize this one.
Starting point is 00:58:48 3% body fat, 1% brain activity. 3% body fat, so that seems a little on the low side. And then just 1% brain activity. It's about vain, dumb people.
Starting point is 00:59:08 What movie would fit that? Is there something like Supermodel Zombies or something? Oh. Supermodel Zombie. It can't steal, right? That is incorrect. No, it might come back to you, but Aparna gets a shot at it now. Oh, oof. Yeah, what do you think
Starting point is 00:59:25 that is? I'm stumped on this one. Sean's excited to steal. Wow. Okay, I will say... It's an excited face. It might be fun to take this episode and change your voice for the entire episode.
Starting point is 00:59:52 I think that's a good idea. Something more gravelly, but less angry. I'll say... I don't even remember this. Rules of attraction? Oh, rules of attraction. Yeah, they were pretty dumb in that, but I don't think they this movie. Rules of Attraction? Oh, Rules of Attraction. Yeah. They were pretty dumb in that,
Starting point is 01:00:07 but I don't think they would promote it that way. Yeah. Sean, you want to steal it? I'm going to say Zoolander. That's correct. Oh, well played. So the movie I made up was close to what the actual movie was. When you were saying it's supermodels, I was like, oh shit.
Starting point is 01:00:26 He's about to step right into it. But you know, that's what happens. But I'll give you another one here, Kyle. Oh, thanks. Why? Embarrass myself again. I don't understand. I don't understand the rules of this game.
Starting point is 01:00:42 There's no chance of me winning, so he just gives me, throws me a bone. Yeah, Sean's the winner, but I just like to keep going. It's just a fun game. I like people when they guess at this game because it's fun. It's fun to guess. Yeah, because you might be right.
Starting point is 01:00:56 You weren't sure about Zoolander. No. You just figured it might be. All right, Kyle. All right. His karma is huge, and it's not the Donald Trump movie. Because everything
Starting point is 01:01:09 he describes is huge. Oh. His karma is huge. Who's got huge karma? Sean? You're just pointing to Sean. No, it's Kyle who gets to decide.
Starting point is 01:01:25 Is it the love guru? Yes. Yay! Nice, Kyle. I finally got one. Never going to happen again. All right. All right, here's one for Aparna.
Starting point is 01:01:40 Okay. George Simmons was prepared to die, but then a funny thing happened. Okay. George Simmons was prepared to die, but then a funny thing happened. Oh. Oh. George Simmons was prepared to die, but then a funny thing happened.
Starting point is 01:01:53 The love guru. I want to just throw you out just on principle. One last one. As soon as he started talking, I was like, oh, here we go. But then that was a funny thing to yell. I have no idea. I'll give you that.
Starting point is 01:02:15 Sure. Oh, I think I got it. I don't know. This is really, this guess is really going to test everyone's belief in me, but ghost dad. George Simmons was prepared to die, but then a funny thing happened.
Starting point is 01:02:39 He became a ghost and put something in people's drinks. It's topical. Yeah. Topical guess. Sean for the steal. Jeez, I'm not completely sure, but I, what was the first one I was thinking? Or, it's not Heaven Can Wait.
Starting point is 01:02:59 No. No. Kyle? Is it Defending Your Life? No. That was a good guess. That was a good guess. That was a good guess. I liked it. His name could have been George Simmons.
Starting point is 01:03:11 It's not Ghost Town. Now you're fixated on ghosts. Ghost things. No, it's... Oh, it's... Okay. Do I guess? I'm not going to guess. Okay. It's just a movie we already talked about today called Funny People.
Starting point is 01:03:28 Oh. Oh. We are bad with our own resumes. Never has a tagline been more untrue. It's become a hallmark of the show. It's fun to see if people know their own taglines, and they do not. Generally. Every once in a while, they taglines, and they do not, generally. Every once in a while, they know it, and they're ready to say the answer,
Starting point is 01:03:51 and then somebody yells out the town and beats them to it. Because Jon Hamm would have known the town, and then that guy yelled out the town. It made me so sad. That sort of shit doesn't happen in Canada. Jon Hamm was great in Minions movie. He was really funny. Speaking of shit, yeah, he's always great.
Starting point is 01:04:11 When he does comedy, it's fantastic. I think he'll be in more comedy stuff than dramas moving forward now that Don Draper's dead. Oh, sorry for anyone who didn't see the last episode. You're waiting to... You still haven't seen the first episode. You ruined the whole thing. You're waiting to... You still haven't seen the first episode. Now you ruined the whole thing for me.
Starting point is 01:04:26 You're waiting to binge watch the whole thing. But Don Draper had died way before the series started. Whoa. Some heavy shit. And I'm on the lowest chair. Wow. Okay, now... I gotta adjust my mic when I lower my chair. Wow. Okay, now I'm not. I gotta adjust my mic
Starting point is 01:04:48 when I lower my chair. I like to see your legs bent almost at 90 degrees. Let's play ABCD's Nuts! This is a fun game because it's not very difficult. We'll call Sean the winner of the last game, but we'll switch the order around and go to Apar in a second.
Starting point is 01:05:12 We're going to spell out some words. I'm going to tell you a letter, and you just have to name any movie ever made that begins with that letter. It's harder than it sounds strangely but if you say the movie that i wrote down ahead of time if we mind milled this is like match game sean if we both have the same answer then you win the game automatically so you have to try to think like me which is probably not worth the effort sean we're going to spell out just for laughs.
Starting point is 01:05:48 Okay. Since that's where we're at. Just for laughs. Yeah, so all you got to do to start us off is name any movie that begins with the letter J. Any movie. Jumanji. History of Jumanji.
Starting point is 01:06:02 Invariably comes up when J is mentioned. Sometimes I think of writing it. But in this case, I wrote Jennifer's body because I'll be interrupting at its cine family in Los Angeles on Monday, October 26th. How am I supposed to know that? You don't need to know that. I could have been interrupting Jumanji
Starting point is 01:06:20 and we would have had a winner already. Is there anyone I'm making feel bad who's behind me? and we would have had a winner already. Is there anyone I'm making feel bad who's behind me? There's a stage hand over there that seems pretty grumpy. Sorry, man. Put it down.
Starting point is 01:06:36 Now we move to Aparna and she has to come up with any movie that begins with the letter U. U. the letter U. U. U. Okay, moving on to Kyle. Can you think of something that begins with U?
Starting point is 01:06:55 I want to. It's easier to think of it as uh instead of U. Because movies that begin with the sound you are spelled Y-O-U. Right, right, right. Of course. Uh.
Starting point is 01:07:14 I'm going to say uh. Oh, I don't remember the number. I can't believe there's not a movie named uh. No. Up in the air. Up in the number. I can't believe there's not a movie named Uh. No. Up in the air. Up in the air.
Starting point is 01:07:29 You were right both times. I'll accept Up or Up in the air. Thank you. I went with a movie called Underworld. Because one of the stars of that movie, Michael Sheen, is going to return to the show soon.
Starting point is 01:07:45 He's a terrific guest. Your letter is S, Kyle. Say Anything. Say Anything is a great S movie. I went with Sicario. Saw it today. So it was in my head. Sean, T.
Starting point is 01:08:04 Tora, Tora, Tora. Oh, that's a good one. I went with The Love Guru. Ah! I didn't think they counted the articles. That's the only, you can't, you can only do the movies on T. Like you can't do The Godfather on G.
Starting point is 01:08:21 You gotta only do it on T. Oh, what a twist. I'm strict. F is Aparna's. Okay, funny people. That's the movie that I wrote down right there. Oh, my God. Thank God.
Starting point is 01:08:38 She won. Funny people. What a relief. Then I wrote down Old Dracula because that's a fun title. Old Dracula. How did the theme song for Old Dracula go, Sean? Oh, don't wake me
Starting point is 01:08:54 even when the sun goes down. I'm tired. I need a couple hours. Hey, I'm an old vampire. Come on, don't expect a lot of me. Then I went with Roar, leaving Las Vegas, because
Starting point is 01:09:21 Douglas Movies is coming to the Plaza Hotel next Saturday in Las Vegas. American Ultra, I enjoyed that movie. Underworld Rise of the Lycans. Classic. For the second U in Just for Laughs. Going ape, because I'll be at Go Bananas in Cincinnati. Oh, Jesus.
Starting point is 01:09:38 October 15th, 17th. For H, I went with the recently released Hitman Agent 47. Oh, Orlando Bloom. No. Orlando Bloom. I don't believe so, no. It's Hooper Friend, I think. Really?
Starting point is 01:09:56 I think so, yeah. We're wrong about that, but you do know the theme song for Hitman 47. Ow, ow, Oh, stop hitting me! What's that 47 times? I didn't know that's what it was about. It's just someone gets punched
Starting point is 01:10:17 47 times. It's not really a contract to kill someone. It's just to wound them 47 times. It's a hitman with OCD, and so he has to sit there. Oh, no. And then for the S and just for laughs, I went with Straight Outta Compton, because why wouldn't you?
Starting point is 01:10:35 Why would you not do that? Oh, we're doing great on time. Yeah, we are. Let's play Last Man Stanton. This is another game where you take turns coming up with stuff, and I will participate. I like to play in this one.
Starting point is 01:10:54 Yeah, because the audience decides what actor or actress we are going to take turns naming movies that they were involved in. If you can't think of one, you're right. Is that a friendlier way of saying it? Why are people waving? Because they're so excited to name the person that we're going to play in this game because when they sit and listen to this podcast,
Starting point is 01:11:15 it drives them insane that there's some actor or actress that they know of that we've never played. And sometimes people suggest actor or actresses that don't have, you you know that would be very difficult to do and sometimes people just yell one out when I haven't asked him to. You won't use Jodie Foster as the last person on earth I would
Starting point is 01:11:33 play today because I didn't ask yet but I also have one person that I saw on Twitter that I'm going to ask to name somebody and that is I am Catalyst. Are you here? And super upfront.
Starting point is 01:11:50 I could count on you for that. Who do you think we should do today? Kevin Costner. Sweet. That is, people love that choice. The panelists, not so much. What do we have to do? Name movies? This is going to be an interesting one.
Starting point is 01:12:08 Parna won that last game, so she gets to go first on this one. And then we'll go to Kyle and then to Sean, and then I'll jump in. Just name any... Stuff he been in. That's what I have to name. What?
Starting point is 01:12:24 Stuff that he's been in. That'sner. That's what I have to name. What? Stuff that he's been in. That's how the game is played? Yeah. Okay. I just. Or directed. Oh, or directed. But I believe he was in those as well.
Starting point is 01:12:34 Okay. And any Kevin Costner movie. Okay, Dances with Wolves. That's it. You got one. Kyle. Bull Durham. Mm-hmm. Kyle. Bull Durham. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 01:12:49 Sean. Silverado. Oh, I liked him in that. You know, just because they're a new sponsor of the show, and this is funny timing, I'm going to say Fandango. Who else? There's a lot of people.
Starting point is 01:13:06 Get your tickets for movies online at Fandango.com. Wasn't Judd Nelson Fandango? Mm-hmm. Yeah. His finest work, probably. Other than Bender and Futurama. Different Bender. Whose turn is it, Sean?
Starting point is 01:13:30 Oh, pardon. Oh, I said Fandango. Okay, you're right. It's your turn. Field of Dreams. Mm-hmm. Kyle. Tin Cup.
Starting point is 01:13:42 Yeah. Knocking down all the sports movies. Sean. Draft Day. Yeah! You said that pretty nice. Draft Day. How about Man of Steel?
Starting point is 01:14:04 Oh, yeah. He was excellent in that, I thought. Good job. Okay, I've run out of all the ones I know, so I'm really going wild on this one. Okay. War of the Roses. Jesus.
Starting point is 01:14:20 He should have been. You did go very wild on that one. I said I would. Yeah, I don't think he's in that one. Neither does anyone. I'm sorry. Danny DeVito takes all of his best parts. So, Parn is out.
Starting point is 01:14:40 I'm out. Sorry, corn. Pass me that corn. Because she's going to get her shithead said, and it's somebody that I don't know who that is, so I'm guessing it's somebody in Canadian politics. For the first several years that I did this show up here,
Starting point is 01:14:59 Rob Ford would show up all the time as a shithead. Kyle, do you have another one? Waterworld. Oh, God. I don't know what somebody was trying to yell out. I don't think it was an answer. Were you trying to tell us something about Rob Ford or something?
Starting point is 01:15:18 No? Okay. My turn? Yeah. For the love of the game. I think that's all of his sports movies, except for the upside of anger. He plays a former baseball player.
Starting point is 01:15:45 Kyle? I don't know the name of it, and I'm so pissed because it's a sports movie, too, so I actually know something more about movies than you right now, Doug. And I can't remember the name. I was just assuming
Starting point is 01:16:03 we ran out of his sports movies. It's not Breaking Away. No, it isn't. Is that your final guess? Fuck. Do you know the movie I'm trying to think of now? Oh, yeah, I do. I probably wouldn't have thought of it if it wasn't for you.
Starting point is 01:16:28 Ah, shit. So thank you for that. I can't remember the name of it. Okay. Sean's still in this. I'm sure I'm going to lose to you, because you probably know all of the movies in the world. But I'm going to say The Postman.
Starting point is 01:16:43 I still can't think of sayings. The Postman, of course. going to say The Postman. I still can't think of things. The Postman, of course. Of course, The Postman. The one Kyle's trying to think of is American Flyer. Yeah. Good one. It gets the nosebleeds. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:16:57 All right. Do you have another one, Sean? Yes. Okay. I have... The Bodyguard. Oh, shit! That's a big one.
Starting point is 01:17:13 This feels like I'm trapped. I feel like I've got... no way out. Well, this is going to be a sneaky one. Okay. The big chill. All right. Because it was his body that's being dressed in the first scene.
Starting point is 01:17:48 Yes. There's a flashback that got cut from the movie where he was alive. He's the guy who dies at the beginning, brings them all together. But I wouldn't even be surprised if that was just somebody else's wrist. I don't know if he came in for the... The wrist double?
Starting point is 01:18:02 Do you just see like a suit being put on a body? Why don't you just say another movie? I'll give you a reason why. I'll give you a reason why. Oh, you have one. And it's going to be a pithy answer. Here's why I want to win right now. Oh.
Starting point is 01:18:20 Revenge. Oh. He spices up his answers. Shit. Oh, I got another one. Oh, my God. Jeez, this is tough. Although I might fuck it up,
Starting point is 01:18:37 because I can't remember if the middle word is and or or. Shh. Milo or Otis. Oh my God. Oh my God, I think I have one. The amazing adventures of Milo or Otis. The owner had to make a choice in the beginning. It was real morbid.
Starting point is 01:18:57 It's a Sophie's choice of animal movies. I don't know how many. I'm not sure of the actual numerical number, but I think it's 500 miles to Vegas. Oh. Is it 1, 500 miles to Vegas. Oh. Is it 1,000 miles to Vegas? Oh. Oh, no.
Starting point is 01:19:11 Okay. Well, I tried. You did. It was close, though. It's like 5,000, 3,000, fuck. It's 3,000 miles to Graceland. Oh, is it? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:19:21 It takes place in Vegas. But aren't they hit men who dress like Elvis? They're in Vegas, yes. Okay. I couldn't remember. No, it's smart to try to make sense of that movie because it's really a quality film. But that was good.
Starting point is 01:19:36 Sorry, I didn't have what it takes to go the distance against the big D. I like his movies that have numbers in the title. Oh, really? Mm-hmm. Like what? Three Days to Kill. Oh, I just pushed that out of my mind.
Starting point is 01:19:53 Was he an astronaut ever? I don't know what he did before he got into acting, but... He wasn't in the right stuff, certainly. But didn't he play an astronaut? He should. He's got an astronaut quality. Like kind of a spacey kind of look in the eyes? He's like a hillbilly,
Starting point is 01:20:14 but you know, get up there and fucking get that astronaut. A hillbilly who knows astrophysics kind of thing. That's what astronauts are. He wasn't a space cowboy? He wasn't in that? No, he wasn't one of those guys. He wasn't Clint Eastwood or James Garner. But you see how he could have been.
Starting point is 01:20:30 I see that. I could see it. I could see that now. I mean, probably when that movie was made, he wasn't really an old guy yet. No. He wasn't an old guy movie. He was a centrifuge to separate oil from water.
Starting point is 01:20:38 But it's either black or white or black and white. Or black or white. Oh. Yeah, that was a recent movie that came out where he wants to keep his black granddaughter and society just won't have it because he uses the N-word. Oh. Oh, no.
Starting point is 01:20:54 What was the movie? He loves his granddaughter, but he uses the N-word. What are you going to do? What was the movie where he kidnaps the kid and he's just... Oh, my God, that's so good. What's that movie? The one where he kidnaps the kid and he's just... Oh, my God, that's so good. What's that movie? The one where he kidnaps the kid and then he... They know all the...
Starting point is 01:21:08 Perfect World. Perfect World. That's a good movie, actually. But also, what else did we miss, you guys? It's so angry. Shut up. Shut up. Wow.
Starting point is 01:21:26 JFK. We forgot JFK. Oh, Jesus balls. I'm sure you would have come up with that. I wouldn't have. 30 days. All right, we get it. There was a lot of them. 13 days. What?
Starting point is 01:21:44 Untouchables, of course. Hey, shut up! Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves. It's like you're all perfect. Like you all know every goddamn movie in the world. You don't. Sit up here and try and be in the hot seat. Piles of steaming shit.
Starting point is 01:22:07 Could you try that again, but without the anger? Sit up here and be in the hot seat without the piling steams of shit. Steaming piles of... Oh, I can't do it without anger. But that means that Sean Cullen's our winner today. Oh! Oh! That means that Sean Cullen's our winner today. Does the crazy Ex Machina boot,
Starting point is 01:22:33 does it have a shithead on the back of it? It does. Does it? Nice. It's got one inside. Oh, it's got it inside. Okay, cool. I've got to get this back to the owner
Starting point is 01:22:41 because this is a good item and dangerous. Yeah, you've got to get that movie. I'm going to get all cut up trying to get this out of here. because this is a good item and dangerous. I love that movie. I'm going to get all cut up trying to get this out of here. That was a very good movie. Ex Machina? Yeah, I enjoyed that a great deal. That Oscar Isaac is a good actor. They sure got good actors for the new Star Wars. I'll give them that.
Starting point is 01:22:58 But I said that about Natalie Portman once upon a time. Boom. Just the scene where he's doing the dance, like he's just like having the party. It's like they just do this really weird choreographed dance. Fucking crazy. Really brilliant.
Starting point is 01:23:13 It's really fun. Did you guys see that one? Oh, I see it. It's great. Ex Machina. Check it out. You're going to like it. Where's that person with Derek? Derek, you know what? It's going to be like a callback to the past. And it really is just Willem Dafoe.
Starting point is 01:23:30 Is the shithead he wrote on the back? I wasn't asking you what he wrote on there. I just want to give him the prize bag. Oh. But that is fun that he wrote that on there. Well, it's pretty obvious, right? It's pretty obvious. Seems like that's which way it was going.
Starting point is 01:23:41 Where is he? Is that you? Congratulations, Derek. Sorry about that. How about I go back and we pretend that never happened way it was going. Where is he? Is that you? Congratulations, Derek. Sorry about that. How about I go back and we pretend that never happened? Oh, shit. Derek, wait. Derek, you're a seven up.
Starting point is 01:23:55 Wow, he was all the way back to his seat already. I feel terrible. Derek, wait. There's a new iPhone we're giving away, too. No, wait. Hey. You know what? We all know what that one was, so why don't we do the corn one? Do the corn. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:24:09 Do the corn. So I blew it. I got this. I blew it. I'm sorry. Could you do it with a different voice? I gathered all the shitheads, and now we get to do some plugs. What do you got to plug, Sean?
Starting point is 01:24:20 Well, I have my own podcast, which is a SeanPod. You can download it for free or ignore it for nothing. Either way, it's a bargain. SeanPod. The SeanPod. The SeanPod. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 01:24:37 And anything else you want people to know about? Well, I'm on Twitter at MrSeanCullen. And people say it looks like Mrs. Ian Cullen. Yeah. But I don't give a shit. That's the way I roll. And sometimes it sounds like someone else is tweeting with my voice.
Starting point is 01:24:57 But that's not always true. If my tweets are not interesting, they usually have someone step in and retweet. Oh, that's nice. It's great. It's a service provided by the MikeMyers.com Kyle, what do you got to plug? I'm just, I'm out there.
Starting point is 01:25:19 You are crazy. Tour dates at KyleKanane.com Yeah, I'll be out later in the fall. Yeah, find him, you guys. Yeah. Yay! And two shows tonight over at the Royal Movie Theater. He's going to be standing next to 28 Days Later.
Starting point is 01:25:44 Apana Nancherla. Yes. What is going on in your world? I have a website, aparnacomedy.com, and I have an album coming out in January. What's the album called? It's called Just Putting This Out There. And will you come back on the show to promote the album?
Starting point is 01:26:05 I would love to. I'll try to watch some movies before. You did great. You figured out that F was funny, people. That was pretty good. Yeah, yeah. Let's hear it for all of my guests. Sean Cullen, Kyle Kinane, Aparna Nancherla.
Starting point is 01:26:21 Follow them all on Twitter for laughs. If laughter is your thing check them out and thank you to justforlaugh42 hashtag justforlaugh42 jfl42 I fuck it up every time hashtag jfl42 thank you to the queen elizabeth theater it's always real nice to come back here
Starting point is 01:26:42 and thank you audience for coming out on a cold, cold day. You had to fight against the soccer hooligans next door just to get here. And I appreciate the effort. And as always, Russer Oliver is a shithead. That's a good one. He's a guy who sells, who says, bring me your used gold.
Starting point is 01:27:10 Bring me your old gold. I'll look, I'll give you $20 just to look at your old gold. I love old gold. Like gold gets old. Used gold. Ever. Oh, this gold.
Starting point is 01:27:22 Oh, what's that smell? Oh, the gold's gone bad. Let's get rid of it. Let's call Russell Oliver. Ever. Oh, this gold. Oh, what's that smell? Oh, the gold's gone bad. Let's get rid of it. Let's call Russell Oliver. Yeah. He'll take any old gold. All right. Well, that's good.
Starting point is 01:27:35 So it wasn't political like I assumed. Steve Harper! He sucks! You guys are trying to throw in extra shitheads? I didn't bring a name tag, but I'm full of hate. Oh, I love it. He's just not ready. All right.
Starting point is 01:28:04 What was that? Stephen Harper's slogan against Justin Trudeau, who's a young, good-looking man. He says, he's just not ready. He says ready. He thinks marijuana should be legalized. He's just not ready. In this country where we already act like
Starting point is 01:28:19 marijuana has been legalized. He's just not ready to steal as much money as he can from the people of Canada. Just not ready. Just not ready. Well, I'm glad we got that out there. That stranger
Starting point is 01:28:40 who asked if I needed him to tie my shoe because he thought I was too dumb to do it myself. He's a shithead. Once again, today's episode of Douglas Movies was brought to you in part by DraftKings. One week fantasy football at DraftKings means every moment of every game could take you closer to a life changing payday. Play when you want and pick a new team every time. Hurry to DraftKings.com now.
Starting point is 01:29:06 Show's over. No reason not to go do it now. Use the promo code MOVIE and play for free with your first deposit in this Sunday's million dollar fantasy contest. Only at DraftKings.com. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky There's no room in his heart for you
Starting point is 01:29:28 Cause Doug loves movies

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