Doug Loves Movies - Kyle Kinane, Sean Cullen and Aparna Nancherla guest
Episode Date: October 4, 2015Live from Toronto's Just For Laughs festival, Doug welcomes Kyle Kinane, Sean Cullen and Aparna Nancherla to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy ...Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming baby sticky seeds.
With 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth, there's still not one that he won't see.
Because Doug loves movies
Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug.
And I love movies.
I had a feeling that that cue was going to get messed up when you said, you started yelling that I love movies
as soon as I said my name was Doug.
We're coming to you once again
from the Queen Elizabeth Theatre
as part of the Just for Laughs Festival,
Just for Laughs 42 in Toronto, Canada!
Canada!
Canada!
Not Toronto, California,
as I said on a recent show.
Thank you for not all of you complaining about it.
I'm sure it's even people
that don't even live in Toronto
that gave me a hard time about it.
I didn't arrange for the house lights
to come up ahead of time,
but if they could for a moment,
I'd appreciate it
because I'd like to see your name tags.
Oh, beautiful.
So many good ones.
So many big ones and light up ones.
There's something James Bond back there
where it's my face instead of james
bond i like that i'm totally down with that and uh yeah it's the lighting is weird in here
with the house lights up i can i can't see anybody in the front few rows
it's interesting yeah but my guests will be able to see you because they'll walk amongst you and figure it out.
Planet Gibbons.
Planet of the Gibbons.
Because your last name is Gibbon, I hope and pray.
Because if your first name is Gibbon, that sucks.
Hi, my name's Gibbon.
Thank you to everybody for bringing those name tags and shielding yourself from the rain with
them probably i had a fantastic time at fantastic fest in ox austin texas and i look forward to
having fun times three at the fun fun fun fest in austin in november this thursday douglas movies
comes to new orleans uh as part of Hell Yeah Fest.
Yeah, you thought Just for Laughs was a cool name for a festival.
Fucking Hell Yeah Fest.
I'm going to do Stand Up Wednesday, and then we're going to do a Doug Loves Movies on Thursday,
but bring your name tags to the stand-up show if you want to play.
DougLovesMovies.com, DougLovesMovies.com.
Who is staying here tonight at the Queen Elizabeth
for Dr. Katz Live?
Nice!
I've got my first appointment with the doctor tonight.
I hope he's cool with me being really high
during the session.
I think he's all right with that.
From the corrections department,
the movie John Erler tried to jam into Bill the title, Peter Weir is not a thing.
He was thinking of the other one, The Long Strange Trip of Bob Weir. So he even, yeah, it was, if he'd have known that whole title,
that would have been great because that would have made a really, really long title. Let's take a
look in the prize bag, you guys. Lots of fun stuff. I went to see the movie Sicario today.
You guys like that movie? Yeah? You guys got on that fast. Didn't it open yesterday?
Good job.
I saw it.
Good job preparing for today.
You don't have to worry about spoilers.
But I saw it at the Cineplex,
and the alarm, the fire alarm in the building went off during the movie,
which is, it's the perfect movie for loud, sudden alarm.
And in fact, the first thing it did was it went,
boop, like that.
And I thought whatever Emily Blunt was being saying,
whatever blunt talk she was into at the time
was being censored by Canada or something.
I thought you guys put bleeps into your movies here.
But in fact,
it was a false alarm,
but a false alarm
that proceeded to the alarm
kept going off
for about 40 minutes,
half an hour.
Long time to be watching a movie
in every few minutes here.
The alarm has been set off
and we are looking into it.
But it wasn't even
that casual sounding.
It was like a recording of a guy saying that,
and it went off over and over and over again.
But I stuck to it.
I sat through the movie,
thought several times about just going and getting my money back
and trying to watch the rest of it later,
but then I have to sit through the first part again.
Not that I didn't enjoy it, but, you know,
I'm in a rush right now to watch a lot of movies.
Because I have to watch like 200 of them, or 140 of them, I think, by New Year's Day.
To meet my 365-day Doug Loves Movies challenge.
You can hear all about that on Doug Loves Minis podcast.
And as I was leaving, they gave me a courtesy ticket to come back for free to Cineplex.
It's in the prize bag.
That's so exciting.
I mean, I don't know if you could, the fancy theater that I saw it in, like the VIP theater, was like 25 bucks a seat.
So when you use this, please insist on a $25 seat.
Because that's what I fucking paid to listen to the goddamn alarm going off over and over again.
My friend in Los Angeles, Kimberly Cogden, gave me some booby tees.
This is her boobs on a shirt that you can wear.
I got to give them proper credit here.
It's called custom titties,
custom titties.com. So go get one of those. If you can, my friend, uh, bald Brian from the Adam
Carolla show wrote a great book about his, uh, situation with, uh, having a tumor that he is,
he survived. This is an apostymist book. And so I'm including that in the prize bag
to spread the love on that.
I don't believe in keeping books once you've read them.
Here's something that I'll never have any use for.
At Fantastic Fest,
at a screening of the movie Dangerous Men,
they gave out songs from the soundtrack on cassette tape.
So enjoy that if you can figure out a way to do that from a special things record, special thing records. We've got the
latest from Hampton Yount called Bearable and my latest promotional tool. And then
backstage, they've just got a bunch of candy. So I grabbed a fistful of it,
put it in the bag. I'm not going to eat it, but I deserve my share.
Let's get my guests out here. One of whom might not even be here yet because of an Uber situation.
That's right. Rob Ford stopped his Uber.
Like Rob Ford is standing in front of one car right now, preventing my guests from coming to the show.
Please give a big warm welcome to Aparnananchola, Kyle Kinane, and Sean Cullen. Hey, y'all.
Sit wherever you like.
Yeah, enjoy that.
We get one table for all of your stuff.
I get my own table.
My seat dropped a great deal.
Yeah.
These have the fun thing on the side where you can pump it up.
You can Elvis Costello your chair.
Till you can't feel it.
Oh.
What?
Don't even need it
Well we might as well get to him
That's Sean Cullen
Canada's favorite
Thank you for having me
In my own town
I call you my favorite Canadian
Well that's
That's a bit rich isn't it?
Alright
You probably have a more favorite Canadian
I don't think so.
Ryan Reynolds?
He's pretty awesome Canadian.
Yeah, he is.
See, when you start naming them, you think, well, maybe one's going to beat me.
William Shatner?
There's more than you think.
It has to be.
This is the thing.
They're like, they just spread like a disease.
Dave Coulier.
Dave Coulier. Dave Coulier.
Sure.
Seth Rogen.
Alan Thicke.
Yeah.
This is a fun game.
What's her name?
Rachel McAdam.
Is Shania Twain.
McAdams is a Canadian?
Yes.
Is Shania Twain Canadian?
Yes, she is, from Timmins, Ontario, home of coal and her.
Let's meet Aparna Nancherla first, you guys.
Hi.
Hi.
Aparna Nancherla.
That's it.
That's how you sing her name.
I love singing that name.
And I feel so bad.
Your chair is so low.
No, I made it low.
When everyone was making theirs low, I made mine low, and it was a mistake.
Oh, there you go.
There we go.
There you go.
Jump up on that.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
I don't like it now.
Yeah.
Is that better, Sean?
Oh, no. This is riveting podcast chair work. Yeah Is that better Sean? Oh no
This is riveting podcast chair work
That's why you have to see the show live
You never know what kind of fun is being had
With the chairs
This is Aparna's first time
On Doug Loves Movies everybody
First time
Here
Hilarious comedian and twitterer
who was doing
tons of shows here at
JFL 42, which is
called that because the festival's been going for
42 years.
42 dog years.
It's called 42 because we are
four of the 42, I think.
I'm not sure. Oh, no, I wouldn't be included.
You're not one of the three. We are three of the 42. I'm from sure. Oh, no, I wouldn't be included. We are three of the 42.
I'm from Canada.
Locals don't count.
What a cruel system.
It is vicious. Vicious, but fair.
And you have...
Aparna has a few more shows
this evening. I do. Do you know where they're at?
I believe Comedy
Bar 8.
So rush over there after this, you guys.
Three hours.
You have three hours.
Garrison at 11, and then Andy Kindler's Alternative Show at midnight, which is always so fun. That's always a good time.
Always fun.
Fair enough.
And did you bring us something for the prize bag today?
I did.
I brought a coveted Pantages hotel shower cap.
That is...
Is that part of the Hydro Basics line?
Yes.
Limited edition.
Yeah.
Yeah, and for our French friends, it's a bonnet de douche.
That's right.
de douche.
That's right.
I also brought a very limited edition
How to Be a Woman
airport copy,
Caitlin Moran's memoir.
It's actually really good.
Oh, okay.
But why do you say
it's an airport copy?
Because it's a
Hudson News original.
That's where it was purchased.
Well, that's awesome.
We got a couple of books
in the bag.
Oh, you got more?
One last thing. This is a couple of books in the bag. Oh, you got more? One last thing.
This is a green room donut in a cup.
She took one of the donuts and just jammed it in here.
I did.
Because the cup is not really big enough to hold a donut.
I saw the donuts.
I prefer my desserts out of a cup.
I don't know why.
I find it.
Grab yourself a fork or just use your fingers.
Have yourself a time.
Well, thank you.
Thank you.
Parna for bringing all of this fabulous stuff for the bag.
We've already heard him sing.
Hope to hear him sing again later in the show.
Sean Cullen, everybody.
Thank you.
I'm sorry an American comic
Couldn't be here to be on the show
You people don't
Your 42nd appearance on the show
Is it really?
Yeah the most of all Canadians
That's for sure
Well that's for sure
Yeah
And what do you have for the bag sir?
Well sir for the bag
A bonnet to do sure
Qu'est-ce que c'est?
I brought my book.
This is the shitty
mass paperback version
where they got kind of
a man who had brain injury
to just
do a picture of what he thought the book
was about.
And then...
So he got it completely wrong yes i don't think there's any moment where a child in a t-shirt is holding up a glowing thing amid some skyscrapers uh on a flat surface
uh that does not happen in the prince of Neither Here Nor There. That's correct.
That's set in Toronto.
It's about fairies, and it's fun.
Is anything on the back true?
Yes.
Join Brendan?
Yeah, that's my son.
He's the prince of Neither Here Nor There?
That's correct.
In this, the first book in the Chronicles of the Misplaced Prince series.
That's great.
How many books are in the series?
Well, I wrote two, and I plan to write more.
Is that all right with you? Yeah. That's an impress How many books are in the series? Well, I wrote two and I plan to write more. Is that alright with you?
That's an impressively large book
for a comedian. Normally it's just
some
memoirs like, and this is how I stopped doing
coke because of Baltimore.
And it's like 83 pages long.
But every other
word is fuck. Yeah.
So, it's a kid's book.
I love that whore.
And I was in Edinburgh this year,
and I went to this skateboard shop,
and they were selling coffee mugs,
and I thought,
what do people on skateboards never have in their hand?
If they do, it's just a coffee cup with a donut in it. Yeah, that's right.
Oh, yes.
You know, remember, the donut in a cup reminds me of what?
Wally.
Cupcake in a cup.
The sesquicentennial cupcake in a cup.
Celebrate our...
From the movie Wally?
Wally.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You said Wally, and it's like, reminded me of Wally.
And I thought you were just flashing back
on a guy you knew named Wally.
We all dunked our donuts in our coffee.
He poured his coffee over his donuts.
Well, I've just been hotboxing
in the downstairs bathroom right now,
so I've lost it.
But this is from a company called Focus,
and I liked what their slogan is,
serving up the good shit since
2001.
What?
Do you have one of these for yourself?
I have another one, and I didn't want to give it up because it's got a picture of a brontosaurus
with Bill Hicks on the back, and Jesus leaning against the brontosaurus's front leg.
Wow.
You're right to keep that one.
That's the one.
That's a good one.
It's a smart thing to do.
And that's Kyle Kinane, everybody.
Yay!
Also in town,
because he's one of the 42
and doing shows.
You have one later tonight
and then some tomorrow maybe?
I have two tonight at
the Royal Theater. And that's it.
Okay, so two tonight
Royal Theater. Sounds pretty
fancy. It's real
fancy. I heard it's an old movie theater.
Oh really? I think it's also
just a movie theater now.
Or that, but it's old
too. And you have to stand at the side because they're showing a movie. now. Or that, but it's sold, too.
And you have to stand at the side because they're showing a movie.
They've got to double up.
You've got to wait for them to film
like a nature scene so you can get the jokes out.
I don't want to talk over the dialogue.
It's actually a pretty shitty gig.
You shouldn't come.
Don't go to his shows, you guys.
Especially people listening to this
because they won't hear it until tomorrow.
And did you bring something for the bag?
Yeah.
Boy, did I get creative.
I went to Edinburgh too,
but I just got an apple.
How'd you bring that back into the country?
You probably can't travel.
You don't want to ask those kind of questions.
Wow.
That apple smells.
I had to walk out of that airplane like a cowboy, just real bow-legged.
But I figure, you know, it's October, it's Halloween,
and you're not supposed to take apples from strangers
because they put razor blades in them.
But you're going to take this one.
And I brought a Diet 7-Up.
That's from backstage?
No, I brought it from home.
I was just so surprised when I got here.
And they're like, oh, you can give them some of this stuff.
I'm like, man, I wanted my own Diet 7-Up stash for gifts.
Yeah, I took it from backstage.
And there's a piece of ice.
Yeah, a piece of ice to keep it cool.
Well, pass those on down here, and I will throw them out.
All right, they're going in the bag.
I hope this cold, wet can doesn't hurt anything.
Books don't mind.
Leave it out here until it gets warmer.
Oh, you got one for yourself, too, did you?
I got a full-flavored Coca-Cola for myself.
Now, Kyle.
Yeah.
It fell out.
It's actually now cleaner than it was.
It's now been cleaned up a little bit.
It came all the way from Europe, that apple.
Yeah, this apple wants adventure.
It doesn't want to be contained in a bag.
But it's going to stay
in there now, damn it. I'm going to put it all on the...
Do you want me to tie that up for you?
Wrap it in that
boob t-shirt.
You're the voice of Comedy Central in the U of S of A
but that doesn't translate up here, right?
There's no
There's Comedy Channel here
but you're not the voice of Comedy Channel
Network
Comedy Network is what it's called?
It's where we get all the shows that were on Comedy Central
and then air them up here.
Except for the ones that they show on Much.
Yeah. Which gets very confusing.
It's very confusing. All owned by the same company.
Oh.
I just love
Much because I got in yesterday in time
to catch the, I love that they show
Conan and Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy
Kimmel all just back to back.
They're all from different networks.
On the afternoon of the
previous night's shows,
they just play them all. If I lived here, I would
just spend those three hours just sitting near the
TV, catching up on all
last night's late night shows.
It's really convenient,
although defeats the purpose of
having networks in the United States.
But why should we care?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's, you know, I can't think of a better word to describe all those shows than much.
Too much.
So much talking.
Oh.
And then they also show At Midnight, which we've all...
Of course, love that show.
How many wins do you have now, Doug?
I've only got one more win than you, but many more appearances than you.
So your batting average is much better than mine.
I love asking because I have no idea how many times I've won.
But Doug keeps score all that stuff.
I do it for the love of the game, bro.
The wiki
page lists the statistics.
Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, very clearly.
So it's easy to check
and see how far Ron Funches is ahead
of both of us.
I guess when you're on a network television show
you could say, put me on for a whole week
and they listen. Yeah, yeah.
No, they just got that idea recently to
have some contestants on for a full week and I think I'm going to do it sometime soon. I'm sure you will Yeah, yeah. No, they just got that idea recently to have some contestants on for a full week
and I think I'm going to do it sometime soon.
I'm sure you will too, probably.
Yeah.
I imagine.
Because we're top three, buddy.
There's Ron Funches and then you and me.
And we're just in there.
We're right down there, yeah.
They still haven't had the Tournament of Champions,
so put that call out.
The 100th episode was the top three winners at that time,
but that was a while back,
so the show's been on for a couple years now.
It did like 300 episodes.
It was me and Ron and Nikki Glaser,
but I think you've either passed or tied her, I think.
I don't know, Glaser creamed me the other week.
That is the only sports-type thing I can talk about
is the nerd game show we're all on once in a while.
The only thing I can talk about is stats. It's nice to be creamed're all on once in a while. The only thing I talk about is stats.
It's nice to be creamed by a glazer, though.
Oh, well played.
Thank you.
Was that donut you gave me plain or glazer?
It's chocolate glazed.
Oh, chocolate glazer.
Yeah.
One more question for Kyle.
I'm sorry to be grilling you Two in a row
Jesus take it easy
He's gonna crack
It's a gotcha question
I'm sorry to ask it
You were a
Paparazzi in the movie
Funny People
There you go asked and answered
Glad we got to the bottom of that.
So was Dan Harmon was the other guy in that scene with me.
That's fun.
Yeah, that whole movie is just like comics that you didn't know were stand-ups then.
And you look back and you're like, oh, this is just all filled with different stand-ups in the background of every shot.
Even Dave Rath got a part.
Yeah, he got to talk.
Dave Rath is your manager too, right?
No, no, no.
He's my comedy manager
but he still weaseled away
into that movie.
Showbiz.
I distinctly remember you
as paparazzi in that scene
and I remember like nothing else
from the movie.
It was like four hours long.
I was that good.
Yeah.
You really set yourself apart.
It's the only part
I don't remember.
I'm guessing you forgot some other parts.
Makes me want to watch again.
And Sean, of course,
is also featured in a comedy
that I don't recall your part in this movie,
but I did see it.
You were a referee in The Love Guru?
That's correct.
It was a great time in my life
where Mike Myers came back to Toronto
and gave us all tiny parts in his movie
and then edited us out.
Wait, it started tiny and then got removed?
Well, here's what...
I wish I was heading it out,
but it didn't work out that way.
What happened was, they kept yelling at me,
don't be angry, just tell him he's kicked out of the game.
So I'd be like, you're out of here!
No, don't be angry.
Do it without anger, please.
You're out of here!
No, you're too angry.
You're out of here!
Nope, stop being so angry.
You're out of here! And, uh... You're out of here. No, you're too angry. You're out of here. Nope. Stop being so angry. You're out of here. And, uh, you're out of here. And then, you know, the problem is
they were also saying you've got one game suspension, two game suspension.
You don't give suspensions on the ice and hockey. You don't, there's a governing body that decides
those things. I don't just decide you aren't playing for three games in the Stanley Cup finals on my own.
But anyway, I'm trying to say that to them.
We've got a rogue referee on our hands.
I'm trying to say, well, that just makes me look like an idiot saying these things.
Anyway, so I get to the movie and I'm watching it and my voice has been edited out
and replaced with someone else's voice. Somebody who knows how to say things nicely.
You're out of here. Get out. Anyway, it was, I don't know, because I think I have a nice voice.
And I'm a loud voice as well, when needed.
And to be told that you have neither of those by someone is bad. You only have the look we're going for.
Yeah, which is, I don't know what that look was.
Not the voice.
Just, we want a man with not you talking.
I wonder who, you have no idea who they got to be your voice, right? Just, we want a man with not you talking.
I wonder who, you have no idea who they got to be your voice, right?
It was a homeless gentleman who was hanging around outside the, I don't know, it might have been the director himself who did it.
Or it might have been Mike, because he might have dubbed out other voices and done them for them.
Because he's kind of got that Peter Sellers thing going on.
Yeah, he could have done it. You know, Peter Sellers used to go and do, at the
end of a film, he would do a recording
of him doing all the other characters and give them
as gifts to the people who'd
actually played the characters.
That is crazy.
That is really...
Has anybody heard any of those?
Are they available? Oh yeah, people kept them.
And I imagine now on YouTube you could find them.
But, yeah, it must have been very disturbing to get, you know,
I was in the party, I played the Texan guy.
Oh, and I got a recording as a gift of someone else doing me as a gift.
It's weird.
I'm going to send you a recording where I just say, get out of here.
Please do. Get out of here. Please do.
Please do.
Get out of here.
I don't even know
where we were headed
when you started talking
about Peter Sellers.
But oh,
Mike Myers is the new
Peter Sellers,
that's right.
I kind of think he is.
I think he doesn't trust
anybody else to be
in a movie with him
and he wants to do
every character.
He likes to play all the parts.
Yeah,
you want to preserve
that kind of stuff
in a love guru. You want to make sure. Well, I likes to play all the parts. Yeah, you want to preserve that kind of stuff in a love guru.
You want to make sure.
Well, I just think it makes the part of,
I think the comedy is the interaction
of human beings together to make something funny
and have timing.
And I think to have timing with yourself
is very difficult.
It's been done.
Up!
He directed...
Up! He directed this new documentary that's out it's been done he directed he directed
this new documentary that's out
where he does of course make an appearance
in the documentary
it's called
Shep Gordon
the super mensch
the legend of Shep Gordon
and it's very entertaining
is it good?
I don't think he's a terribly
untalented person.
No, no.
I just think it gets
to the point where
you go like,
hey, let some other
people be in the movie
with you.
It'll help it.
I'm just trying to
help you, Sean,
by saying something
nice about Mike Myers
and you just keep
talking about
how he won't let me.
He doesn't need me
to be nice about him
or not be nice about him.
It's interesting, though.
He plays Shep Gordon
in the film.
In a documentary. In a documentary.
In a documentary.
It's a documentary.
That's a great choice.
And Mike Myers plays the role through the whole film.
Well, Shep really didn't have what it took to be Shep in this documentary.
He lets Shep play Mike Myers for a quick scene.
No, they're both in it.
But Mike Myers clearly knows and loves the man and made a documentary about him,
but there's a lot of interviews with people throughout the movie.
And whenever Mike's being interviewed, it's like he's talking to somebody
like somebody else is directing the movie.
Like he's not just asking himself the questions.
It's weird, but he's not in it a lot.
But I think you could just do a voiceover at that point, couldn't you,
if you're the director of the documentary,
it's just people that knew him sitting around saying nice things about him.
And whenever Mike Myers says something on camera,
it's also kind of funny.
Like he had some funny moments.
Yeah.
He's a comedian.
He is.
He's a funny person.
I think I heard a very funny story from his brother.
And I don't know if this is the right
I don't know if I've ever told you this story
Is it only me or does it feel like you're just turning your back on Kyle?
Yeah
Well, the problem is
When you're in a line
I'm sorry, Kyle
I heard that somewhere
I'm sorry, Kyle
But it has to do with
Anyway, I shouldn't even start this story
It's not fair
I think I'm learning a lesson about rotating seats, though.
Yeah, it's a problem.
Because normally the stools are fixed, so you can't be pulling this crap.
But maybe if you switched with Kyle, then when you turn to talk to me, you're not blocking him off?
Well, listen, could I?
I would stand over here.
Just stand over there with your beer in your hand, like you just got fired from being a referee for going rogue.
You're out of here!
You're out of here!
I'm out of here!
Get out of here!
You're not going to get rid of me that easy.
Are you now playing the homeless man who got your party?
I am not.
Yes, he used to work at Maple Leaf Gardens.
All right. It feels like Kyle doesn't want to work at Maple Leaf Gardens. All right.
It feels like Kyle doesn't want to move.
I feel bad.
Don't feel bad.
We all feel bad.
It's a perfect solution.
All right.
It's a tough industry.
I'll be out of the, I'm out of the show.
I'm just happy for you, Kyle, that it looks like you brought.
See what I mean?
I can't even... This is
so sad. I got some stories about Dana
Carvey that'll knock your socks off.
Oh, no!
This is a real...
This is a real vaudeville fest.
Sean looks punished on the end.
Oh, my God! Yeah.
Put it low and turn around.
Do not face us.
He's in the timeout corner.
Fuck yous all.
Fuck yous.
I know you're not allowed to use flash in the theater,
but I hope people are getting shots of all this action
for me to tweet.
Let's start with you, Sean.
Sean, please spin in my direction
and answer the following question.
He's difficult to look at right now.
Is this okay, Doug?
Oh, boy.
I know.
What was the last movie you saw?
In any format.
The last movie I saw was The salvation what's that with uh max
mickelson is that his name mads mats mickelson mads mads m-a-d-d-s yes he is uh he plays a
danish uh soldier who's involved in the revolution in denmark in 1870s, or fighting against Germans. Anyway, he moves to the West, and his wife,
finally, after seven years, comes to their homestead, and he goes to pick her up at the
railroad station, and the stagecoach ride home, she is raped, murdered, and his son is killed,
and he is left for dead,
and he comes back to get his revenge
on every motherfucking one of them.
Sounds like my kind of movie.
It's pretty great.
There's a lot of Danish in it with subtitles,
but it's also, like, it's a Western,
and it's really good.
Tremendous.
And who else is in it?
The one from Penny Dreadful, the woman,
who's, like... Oh, the woman who's like...
Oh, you know who I mean.
She was in the 300...
I just don't see anything where they're calling it dreadful before I've even started.
Oh, my God.
Penny Dreadful is fantastic.
But the other...
She was in the 300...
Eva Green.
Eva Green.
Yes, of course.
She's so fantastic in it.
Casino Royale.
She is tremendous in it.
She's tremendous. All right. So that's the Casino Royale. She is tremendous in it. She's tremendous.
All right.
So that's the last one.
The Salvation.
The Salvation.
Okay.
That Mads Mikkelsen is...
I love him.
He, of course, he's Hannibal on the TV show.
I saw him in a movie called Valhalla, and it's a Norwegian movie, again.
People love it.
And he is this berserker who's missing an eye.
And he's kept in a cage and released by his masters
to whenever there's a battle.
And it's kind of like the changeover from paganism
to Christianity in Norway at about 1000 AD.
And he's kind of the holdover from the old times.
And it's an incredible movie. Really good.
He's just a very, not
only skilled actor, but also
just feels like there's nothing
he wouldn't do. I can't think of the title of it
now, but there's a movie where he gets accused of being
a child molester, and he's innocent,
but then the whole town turns against
him. The hunt.
And he molests all
the kids, just to make a point.
Yes. He's like, if you think I'm a
child molester, I'll show you a child molester.
And then I saw him in a movie
at Fantastic Fest called
Men and Chicken.
Holy shit.
Their reaction is appropriate
because it's an extremely disturbing
movie with some weird stuff in it, but also has a lot of heart and he is appropriate because it's an extremely disturbing movie with some weird stuff in it,
but also has a lot of heart, and he is hilarious in it.
Like, slapstick, he plays a guy who's a chronic masturbator.
Like, when he's like, pull the car over, it means he needs to masturbate now.
And his brother has a gag reflex where he can't go for very long without going,
and the two of them go on an adventure together.
The people that saw it know what I'm saying.
It gets weirder from there.
The chronic masturbating is not nearly as weird as some of the other shit in this movie.
Yeah, so look for that.
How did you guys see Men and Chicken?
TIFF.
The film festival.
Well, I love Mads Mikkelsen. I think he's unbelievable.
It's the film festival with the cutest name.
It is. My film
is premiering at TIFF.
Kyle Kinane,
what was the last movie you saw?
In the theaters, I saw The Gift.
Keeps on giving?
No, it was about two hours.
It's a movie that I thought was
extremely watchable
for the whole time.
Not boring, interesting.
I walked out, I was like, that was a movie.
After it's over,
you have no reason to ever revisit it again once you know the twist?
Well, I'm a pushover with pretty much anything.
So I never know if something's good.
Like, I watch it.
I'm like, they got to the end.
I'm like, oh, that made sense.
That was a story.
You went here and then over there.
And maybe you weren't going to.
And then you made it.
And like, it's more like, yeah, finished.
Good job.
I need somebody else to explain to me. I'm just amazed that movies get made. Like, you know, they did it. And like, it's more like, yeah, finished. Good job. I need somebody else to explain
I'm just amazed that movies get made.
Like, you know, they did it.
They put it out. That's anytime somebody's like,
okay, you make fun of a shitty movie, but then you look at the
credits at the end, like, all those people got to buy Christmas
presents for their kids because of that movie.
So I'm like, I can't, like, so what if it's dumb?
So what? It gave a lot
of people work. That's such a
great positive reframe.
Well, I mean, yeah.
I feel like if I get...
If I got tricked by a movie,
like the preview was great,
and then I went paid,
and I saw it in the movie,
sucked, I'm pissed.
But if it's already going to be a dumb movie,
like I love me some Fast and Furious,
like the whole thing.
Like the whole lot of them.
I know what I'm getting into.
They should put Charlize Theron in the next one
And call it Fast and Furiosa
Did you see the Mad Max?
I did see it
They got to the end
And how
I liked it
Yeah, it was great
I lied, actually the last movie I saw was Santa Paws 3
With the Santa buddies
I watched it on TV last night with my children
They're obsessed with dogs and Christmas
There's a Christmas movie on TV in September?
No, it was on iTunes
They watch it over and over again
Just part three? They don't watch the whole trilogy?
No, they watch each one
Here's the first one Santa comes to New York again. Just part three? They don't watch the whole trilogy? No, they watch each one.
The first one, Santa comes to New York.
He gets hit on the head, but he has a puppy,
and the puppy's trying to remind him who he is,
and that's the situation.
And that's Santa Paws 1.
Santa Paws 2,
there's a town that has got
the most spirit of any town in the world,
but then the Santa puppies, who've just been born to Santa Claus and his lovely wife,
they steal a magic icicle, come down to this town,
and proceed to grant horrible wishes to people that lead to the death of Christmas spirit.
Cheryl Ladd is Mrs. Santa Claus in it.
Cheryl Ladd.
I thought this, at first I thought you were talking about those Tim Allen Mrs. Santa Claus in it. Cheryl Ladd. I thought this,
at first I thought you were talking about
those Tim Allen movies,
Santa Claus.
No, Santa Paws.
Paws.
Dogs.
Dog Santa.
Is Santa Paws a dog,
or is he a man?
No, Santa Paws is a dog,
and there's Santa Claus,
but Santa Paws is Santa Claus' dog.
Do they work?
Third movie,
Santa Paws
is trying
to save Christmas because
the magic icicle is
melting.
And then the six
snow buddies, the six buddies
from the Air Bud movies,
they come and help
Santa Paws save Christmas and eventually
deliver all the presents in a giant dog sled.
And God bless America.
It sounds like they phoned in the third one.
Yeah, they really did.
George Wendt is Santa Claus.
George Wendt.
Kyle, that's literally a movie where during the credits
you're like, they got Christmas presents.
Yeah, exactly. Anyway, I didn't mean to interrupt, but I felt it was important. a movie where during the credits you're like, they got Christmas presents.
Exactly.
Anyway, I didn't mean to interrupt, but I felt it was important.
Were there cats that were
Santa Claus, but CLA does?
I've kind of forgot the best part
of the third one
was there was an
evil dog catcher
played by Christopher Lloyd.
Oh!
Christopher Lloyd got to buy Christmas presents
for his kids that year.
Who captures all the Santa buds
and there's trouble from that.
I'm just trying to find,
get all you dogs in a cage.
And then he gets, it's beautiful.
Well, Merry Christmas.
And it changes his whole life and he becomes a good man at the end. Oh, but you, it's beautiful. Well, Merry Christmas. And it changes his whole life
and he becomes a good man at the end.
Oh, but you know who's also in it?
He's a
comic. Oh, I'll
never remember his name, but
I played with him at Largo
years ago. Oh, fuck.
What's his name? I forget. Mike Myers.
No. Randy
Quaid. Randy Quaid.
Randy Quaid.
No, never mind.
You're trying to think of a comedian?
Yes, he's tall with dark hair. Who you performed with in Los Angeles?
Yeah, tall, dark hair, has one eye, just one tooth.
No, that's not true.
Then he'd be memorable, but he's just kind of one of those guys.
But he's in which one?
He's in the third Santa Claus.
Okay, I'll look into that.
He's in the third one, Doug.
Okay.
Are these movies real?
As real as it gets, Doug.
Because they make children happy.
Have you turned your kids on
to the Beverly Hills Chihuahua movies?
They've watched them and discarded them.
They've watched and discarded.
So this Santa Paws is head and shoulders
to the animals?
It's not head and shoulders.
Do the animals talk?
Yes, of course.
And there is a dwarf in the movie
who's the head elf,
and then there's this head elf dog as well,
and they travel around in an ice cream truck,
and they come and try and save things.
Okay, I'm going to look this up
right now real quick.
Leonard Maltin does
not acknowledge these movies.
Really? Yeah, he does not.
P-A-W-S? Santa Paws?
Santa Paws.
Do not exist, according to Leonard.
Well, I'm sorry. Leonard really
got his head up his ass over this one.
He hates dogs.
I had never heard of those things
until you talked about it.
You would really enjoy them, I think.
Were you a Milo and Otis
fan ever? Yes.
Oh, yes.
A fan of kittens being put in danger.
Milo and Otis.
Anything with dogs that are talking
and cats that are talking,
they have the long,
the remake of
The Incredible Journey.
Have you seen that?
Just don't make
the dog's mouth move
like it's actually
saying the words.
I don't know why
that's where I'll draw the line.
If you want to overdub
cats and dogs,
great.
Now you're making
their mouth move?
That's all fucked up.
Do it the old-fashioned way. Give those dogs some peanut butter and let them work itologue. Great. Now you're making their mouths move. That's all fucked up. Do it the old-fashioned
way. Give those dogs some peanut butter and let them
work it out. Exactly.
They did. Well,
the incredible journey, the latest remake
was with Kim Greased
as the mother, who's the owner of the
dogs, but they had
Michael J. Fox was
one of the young dogs.
Sally Field was another dog, I think, and the third one was Don Amici. Wow. Was a cat. There was a cat, too, right? Oh, Michael J. Fox was one of the young dogs. Sally Field was another dog, I think.
And the third one was Don Amici.
It was a cat.
There was a cat too, right?
Oh, yes, that's right.
Don Amici.
Don Amici is incredible.
I don't know why I know that.
It's incredible.
I do love movies.
I know you do.
Have you seen anything lately, Aparna?
I think the last movie I saw in the theater was Inside Out.
The greatest movie.
Thank you.
People love it.
It's so good.
So emotional.
I wept.
Have you seen Inside Out, Kyle?
No.
It's interesting.
I look at you and I think,
this is a man who wants to know what's going on
in an 11-year-old girl's head.
Oh.
This is a man who is interested.
That's a real incriminating thing to say You know, nothing
I wasn't trying to say that you're like a pervert
I just mean that you like
Well, now you have
You just
The beautiful bones
Lovely bones
Oh, shit
Blew it
All right, so you're out Lovely bones. Oh, shit. Blew it.
All right, so you're out.
Oh, I didn't even start.
No, people even know when the games begin or end on this show.
Oh, wow.
Bing bong.
Just a lot of random decisions.
Bing bong.
Mr. Bing bong.
Oh, my God.
But yeah, Inside Out is very, in spite of me being an adult man and it being about a little girl's brain, it's very engaging.
It's an animated thing.
They're all different emotions.
Pixar, yeah.
Yeah, all right.
I think it's the best Pixar in a long time.
That looks like a cute movie.
It's pretty intense. Did you read for the part of anger or panic?
No.
Oh, who, Sean?
I didn't.
Me neither.
I'd never have been given that opportunity.
No way.
I would have read for the Neither of them. I'd never have been given that opportunity. No way. I would have been read for the part of disappointment.
You haven't been a voice in any cartoon?
I've been a voice in tons of cartoons.
He used his own voice the time he was in a movie.
I wasn't even, yeah.
That's the irony of it all.
Yay!
As long as you don't see my face,
my voice works fine.
The association
throws people off.
Don't let them speak.
Okay, I'll pull over.
Masturbate.
I've let the talk portion of the show go too long,
but it was so much fun.
Let the games begin!
Boy, I saw the trailer for this movie
where Tom Hardy plays twins.
Oh, Jesus.
Yeah, and yeah,
it's like he's playing two guys
with garbled speaking glasses.
Hey, do you want to go over to my house?
That sounds good. Let's go over.
Yeah, let's have something to eat.
Yeah, we'll have a bite. Maybe we'll catch a booboo.
What do you want to get on the pizza? Do you like pineapple and ham?
I prefer an anchovy.
Well, let's get two for one, and you can get what you want.
That sounds terrific.
I'll get what I want.
I feel trapped.
Call me when it gets here.
I'll be in the shadows.
We're like the net in a shitty tennis match.
Yep, that was our impression of Venus and Serena Williams.
Love to you, game set.
All right, lots of folks brought lots of nice name tags,
and we'll bring up the house lights a little bit.
Oh, now the front of the house looks very bright.
I love it. Beautiful.
Each and every one of you
gets to go pick who you want to play
for. Go physically get
your name tag and bring it back to your
seat. And while you do that, we'll do this.
We'll be right back after these messages.
Oh, man.
Today's episode is brought to you in part by Fandango.
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Alright, we're back and
Aparna's got
some corn. I got
corn. She took a
cob of corn with the husk
still on it. With the husk still on it.
And she wrote Kathy on the husk.
Well, I didn't write it. She did.
Kathy did. That's her name tag and that's
your choice. Yes. All these people worked
really hard. What is the movie that's from?
Oh, usually they do a movie
title in them, but that's just a piece of
corn.
And then she wrote her shithead on the
back, and if you lose today, then I have
to say this person is a shithead at the end
of the show. So we'll keep that a secret
until that time comes.
And yeah, if you get hungry,
you got some corn.
Kyle, what's that
that you're holding?
Do you
know? It looks like, oh, I get it? Do you know?
It looks like, oh, I get it.
Do you want me to say?
Yeah.
Oh, I know what it is.
It's ex-Juliana instead of ex-Machina,
and that's a robot foot. That's the robot.
It's a robot foot you're holding.
And it looks like the one from the movie.
Yeah, it's very well done.
But I'm curious, why did you pick it it kyle it was lit up and looked elaborate
that's good two good reasons it's got chicken wire on it
you never know when you're gonna need some of that just a little pinch of chicken wire yeah
sean yes i just like this picture it's a picture it's from derek. It's a picture, it's from Derek,
but it's a picture of you shitting into Willem Dafoe's head.
Wow, that's great.
And he looks mildly happy about it.
He doesn't mind that I opened up his brain and shit right in there.
I don't think there's too many things Willem Dafoe minds.
Yeah.
It seems like he's all right with a lot of stuff.
Willem Dafoe, he'll put up with anything.
He's a great actor, very skeletal face.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But he was the original shithead on the show in the early days.
So this is a callback.
I used to just say him every week,
but then this whole thing developed into what we're doing now.
And it's nice to see somebody remembering Willem.
And I'm still waiting for the day when he gets word
of how many times I've called him a shithead.
Why, though? Why? Do you not like him?
No, that's the joke.
It's like, why would you call Willem Dafoe a shithead?
I see.
It started off, first I wanted to say
Barbara Stanwyck is a shithead.
Oh, right.
Because why would somebody call an old great actress a shithead?
But then I thought of Willem Dafoe,
and a legend was born.
Silly things happen.
Barbara Stanwyck.
Is a shithead.
Real shithead.
You just don't hear that.
You just don't hear that kind of thing.
Putting forks in her toaster.
Real shithead, that Barbara Stanwyck.
What would be another good one? Burt Lancaster is a shithead. Burt Lancaster is a shithead. I don't hear that kind of thing. Putting forks in her toaster. Real shithead, that Barbara Stanley. What would be another good one?
Burt Lancaster
is a shithead.
Burt Lancaster
is a shithead.
I don't know.
He always,
everybody seemed to think
he was a nice guy.
Harrison Ford
is a shithead.
He did Crash Airplane.
He kind of is, yeah.
Yeah.
He got into his own
little shitty plane
and then crashed it somewhere
where people
could have been killed.
Oh, but he also was in
the horrible,
what is it? Six Days, Seven Nights?
No, that was terrible.
He was in the third Sylvester Stallone
Every Asshole in the World movie.
Expendables? Yeah, Expendables.
Three? Yeah, he was horrible in that.
I just don't know why he did it.
There's no Santa Paws 3, that's for sure.
Shit. If only Sylvester Stallone would be in Santa Paws 3,
then we'd know that fucking dog would be toast.
Finished.
Hey, Santa's trying to get the icicle back.
Anyway.
His face is enormous now, isn't it?
Whose face is enormous?
Human growth hormone I can't keep up with you
Sylvester Stallone
His face is gigantic
He's become enormous
He's getting a little old man body
But he's still got that big head
He's only 5'3 you know
I know
That's not true
No but Stallone's short though
He's very short.
He's a shorty.
You just said something as if it was the truth,
and then said, no, that I was lying.
He's like 5'10", I think, which is short for a movie star.
That's not shorter than me.
I think he's shorter than me.
He's shorter than you'd think, is what I'm saying.
You stand next to Perkinson.
I never thought about how tall he was.
He's always been small,
which was why they had to find Apollo Creed,
the actor who played Apollo Creed,
which I forget.
He was also quite short.
Doesn't Peter Gallagher seem tall?
Oh, he's the tallest man I've ever dreamed of.
No, he's shorter than me.
Shorter than me.
Oh, my God.
He's got a big face.
I once walked up to Mel Gibson
and sat on the top of his skull.
That's how small he is. Did you go ahead and shit in there? Yeah. I flipped walked up to Mel Gibson and sat on the top of his skull. That's how small he is.
Did you go ahead and shit in there?
Yeah.
I flipped it up.
As long as you're in the neighborhood.
All right, we're going to play as many games as I can fit in
now that we've gone this long without playing.
I picked out a few good ones,
and we're going to start with somebody who already has my back
on whatever crazy decision i made uh we're gonna start with a game called doug loves musicals
and uh you love movie musicals right kyle yeah this game is the opposite of at midnight for me
because you gotta at midnight you just make stuff up but here you gotta actually know something yeah of At Midnight for me.
Because you gotta,
at midnight you just make stuff up,
but here you gotta actually know something.
Yeah, pretty much.
Something that's
perfectly trivial, though.
There's no reason to know.
Musicals, let it rip.
Big fan.
Okay, here we go.
This is just between
the folks on stage.
I don't care what the town
you're from.
The town, get it?
care what the town you're from.
The town, get it?
I'm going to start naming songs in a movie musical, Sean.
Oh.
And the three of you, as soon as you, you know, guess as many times as you want, but just guess what musical all of these songs is from.
La Resistance. La Resistance.
Les Miserables?
No. I put that one
first because I thought that would happen.
Up
There is another song
from this movie. Up There.
Some people in the audience are
already figuring it out.
Don't yell anything out you guys
Does Top Secret count as a musical?
No
How about Eyes of a Child
Eyes of a Child
Is in this musical
Also, not Greece
Also
I Can Change
I Can Change
South Park the musical
South Park What's. South Park.
Yes.
Longer, faster, uncut.
What's the full title?
South Park, longer, thicker, uncut.
Close enough.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's bigger, longer, and uncut.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah.
That's a tough one to remember, even if you're a fan.
Good Love, I'm Super, Mountain Town, What Would Brian Boitano Do? What would Brian Boitano do?
What would Brian Boitano do?
It's easy, m'kay
Kyle's mom's a bitch
I figured that one would be a giveaway
Uncle fucka
It's a classic
And then I saved it for last
Because everyone would know what it is
And also possibly get mad
Blame Canada.
Alright, that's some weird yelling going on.
It's like a cartoon character, but man, people
were like losing their minds
because they knew these titles. La Resistance.
Anybody who knew it from just that,
that's pretty good.
What is it? Your fucking
faggot Christ.
That guy.
That's just one of my favorite lines.
That guy.
You watch that cartoon with your kids a lot?
Always.
It's just the fucksies.
Pop it in right after the Paws trilogy.
Yeah.
Let's play a game called Whose Tagline Is It Anyway?
We'll start with Sean.
I'll say a tagline from a motion picture.
Oh.
You know, a classic one, of course, is in space,
no one eats ice cream.
And then you tell me the name of the film it's from.
This is just Sean, for starters.
Then we'll go to Kyle if you don't know it or you get it wrong.
Okay.
Are you ready?
I think I am.
Okay.
What movie had the tagline, Sean,
The Coast is Toast?
Oh,
The Coast is Toast. Was it
Volcano? That is correct!
Yay!
Let's try, you get to try one, Kyle.
Starring Tommy Lee Jones in a hard-hitting performance.
I have a love-hate relationship with that movie.
Oh.
Of course, Dante's Peak came out around the same time
and is more fun because you get to watch an old woman
burn to death in lava.
Pierce Brosnan wasn't that old in that time.
He was still quite young.
There's one scene where she has to get out of the boat or something?
All right.
We'll go to you here, Kyle, and see
if you recognize this one.
3% body fat,
1% brain activity.
3% body fat,
so that seems a little on the low side.
And then just
1% brain activity.
It's about vain,
dumb people.
What movie would fit that?
Is there something like Supermodel Zombies or something?
Oh.
Supermodel Zombie.
It can't steal, right?
That is incorrect.
No, it might come back to you, but Aparna gets a shot at it now.
Oh, oof. Yeah, what do you think
that is?
I'm stumped on this one.
Sean's excited to steal.
Wow. Okay, I will
say...
It's an excited face.
It might be fun to take this episode
and change your voice for the entire episode.
I think that's a good idea.
Something more gravelly, but less angry.
I'll say...
I don't even remember this.
Rules of attraction?
Oh, rules of attraction. Yeah, they were pretty dumb in that, but I don't think they this movie. Rules of Attraction? Oh, Rules of Attraction.
Yeah.
They were pretty dumb in that,
but I don't think they would promote it that way.
Yeah.
Sean, you want to steal it?
I'm going to say Zoolander.
That's correct.
Oh, well played.
So the movie I made up was close to what the actual movie was.
When you were saying it's supermodels, I was like, oh shit.
He's about to step right into it.
But you know, that's what happens.
But I'll give you another one here, Kyle.
Oh, thanks.
Why?
Embarrass myself again.
I don't understand.
I don't understand the rules of this game.
There's no chance of me winning, so he just gives me, throws me a bone.
Yeah, Sean's the winner,
but I just like to keep going.
It's just a fun game.
I like people when they guess at this game
because it's fun.
It's fun to guess.
Yeah, because you might be right.
You weren't sure about Zoolander.
No.
You just figured it might be.
All right, Kyle.
All right.
His karma is huge,
and it's not the Donald Trump movie.
Because everything
he describes is huge.
Oh. His karma
is huge.
Who's got huge
karma?
Sean?
You're just pointing to Sean.
No, it's Kyle who gets to decide.
Is it the love guru?
Yes.
Yay!
Nice, Kyle.
I finally got one.
Never going to happen again.
All right.
All right, here's one for Aparna.
Okay.
George Simmons was prepared to die,
but then a funny thing happened. Okay. George Simmons was prepared to die, but then a funny thing happened.
Oh.
Oh.
George Simmons
was prepared to die,
but then a funny thing happened.
The love guru.
I want to just throw you out
just on principle.
One last one.
As soon as he started talking, I was like, oh, here we go.
But then that was a funny thing to yell.
I have no idea.
I'll give you that.
Sure.
Oh, I think I got it.
I don't know.
This is really, this guess is really going to test
everyone's belief in me,
but ghost dad.
George Simmons was prepared to die,
but then a funny thing happened.
He became a ghost
and put something in people's drinks.
It's topical.
Yeah.
Topical guess.
Sean for the steal.
Jeez, I'm not completely sure, but I, what was the first one I was thinking?
Or, it's not Heaven Can Wait.
No.
No.
Kyle?
Is it Defending Your Life?
No.
That was a good guess. That was a good guess.
That was a good guess.
I liked it. His name could have been George Simmons.
It's not Ghost Town.
Now you're fixated on ghosts.
Ghost things.
No, it's...
Oh, it's... Okay.
Do I guess? I'm not going to guess.
Okay.
It's just a movie we already talked about today called Funny People.
Oh.
Oh.
We are bad with our own resumes.
Never has a tagline been more untrue.
It's become a hallmark of the show.
It's fun to see if people know their own taglines, and they do not.
Generally. Every once in a while, they taglines, and they do not, generally.
Every once in a while, they know it, and they're ready to say the answer,
and then somebody yells out the town and beats them to it.
Because Jon Hamm would have known the town,
and then that guy yelled out the town.
It made me so sad.
That sort of shit doesn't happen in Canada.
Jon Hamm was great in Minions movie.
He was really funny.
Speaking of shit, yeah, he's always great.
When he does comedy, it's fantastic. I think he'll be in more comedy
stuff than dramas moving forward now that
Don Draper's dead.
Oh, sorry for anyone who didn't
see the last episode.
You're waiting to...
You still haven't seen the first episode.
You ruined the whole thing. You're waiting to... You still haven't seen the first episode. Now you ruined the whole thing for me.
You're waiting to binge watch the whole thing.
But Don Draper had died way before the series started.
Whoa.
Some heavy shit.
And I'm on the lowest chair.
Wow. Okay, now... I gotta adjust my mic when I lower my chair. Wow.
Okay, now I'm not.
I gotta adjust my mic
when I lower my chair.
I like to see your legs bent
almost at 90 degrees.
Let's play ABCD's Nuts!
This is a fun game
because it's not very difficult.
We'll call Sean the winner of the last game,
but we'll switch the order around and go to Apar in a second.
We're going to spell out some words.
I'm going to tell you a letter,
and you just have to name any movie ever made
that begins with that letter.
It's harder than it sounds strangely but if you say the
movie that i wrote down ahead of time if we mind milled this is like match game sean if we both
have the same answer then you win the game automatically so you have to try to think like
me which is probably not worth the effort sean we're going to spell out just for laughs.
Okay.
Since that's where we're at.
Just for laughs.
Yeah, so all you got to do to start us off
is name any movie that begins with the letter J.
Any movie.
Jumanji.
History of Jumanji.
Invariably comes up when J is mentioned.
Sometimes I think of writing it.
But in this case, I wrote Jennifer's body
because I'll be interrupting at its cine family in Los Angeles
on Monday, October 26th.
How am I supposed to know that?
You don't need to know that.
I could have been interrupting Jumanji
and we would have had a winner already.
Is there anyone I'm making feel bad who's behind me?
and we would have had a winner already.
Is there anyone I'm making feel bad who's behind me?
There's a stage hand over there
that seems pretty grumpy.
Sorry, man.
Put it down.
Now we move to Aparna
and she has to come up with any movie
that begins with the letter U.
U.
the letter U.
U. U.
Okay, moving on to Kyle.
Can you think of something that begins with U?
I want to.
It's easier to
think of it as uh instead of
U.
Because movies that begin with the sound you
are spelled Y-O-U.
Right, right, right. Of course.
Uh.
I'm going to say
uh.
Oh, I don't
remember the number.
I can't believe there's not a movie named
uh. No. Up in the air. Up in the number. I can't believe there's not a movie named Uh. No.
Up in the air.
Up in the air.
You were right both times.
I'll accept Up or Up in the air.
Thank you.
I went with a movie called
Underworld.
Because one of
the stars of that movie, Michael Sheen, is going to
return to the show soon.
He's a terrific guest.
Your letter is S, Kyle.
Say Anything.
Say Anything is a great S movie.
I went with Sicario.
Saw it today.
So it was in my head.
Sean, T.
Tora, Tora, Tora.
Oh, that's a good one.
I went with The Love Guru.
Ah!
I didn't think they counted the articles.
That's the only, you can't,
you can only do the movies on T.
Like you can't do The Godfather on G.
You gotta only do it on T.
Oh, what a twist.
I'm strict.
F is Aparna's.
Okay, funny people.
That's the movie that I wrote down right there.
Oh, my God.
Thank God.
She won.
Funny people.
What a relief.
Then I wrote down Old Dracula
because that's a fun title.
Old Dracula.
How did the theme song for Old Dracula go, Sean?
Oh, don't wake me
even when the sun goes down.
I'm tired.
I need a couple hours.
Hey, I'm an old vampire.
Come on,
don't expect a lot of me.
Then I went with Roar,
leaving Las Vegas, because
Douglas Movies is coming to the Plaza Hotel
next Saturday in Las Vegas.
American Ultra, I enjoyed that movie.
Underworld Rise of the Lycans.
Classic.
For the second U in Just for Laughs.
Going ape, because I'll be at Go Bananas in Cincinnati.
Oh, Jesus.
October 15th, 17th.
For H, I went with the recently released Hitman Agent 47.
Oh, Orlando Bloom.
No.
Orlando Bloom.
I don't believe so, no.
It's Hooper Friend, I think.
Really?
I think so, yeah.
We're wrong about that,
but you do know the theme song for Hitman 47.
Ow, ow, Oh, stop hitting
me! What's that 47
times?
I didn't know that's what it was about.
It's just someone gets punched
47 times. It's not really a contract
to kill someone. It's just to wound
them 47 times. It's a hitman
with OCD, and so he has to
sit there.
Oh, no. And then for the S
and just for laughs, I went with
Straight Outta Compton, because why wouldn't you?
Why would you
not do that?
Oh, we're doing great on time.
Yeah, we are. Let's play Last Man
Stanton.
This is another game where you take turns coming up with stuff,
and I will participate.
I like to play in this one.
Yeah, because the audience decides what actor or actress
we are going to take turns naming movies that they were involved in.
If you can't think of one, you're right.
Is that a friendlier way of saying it?
Why are people waving?
Because they're so excited to name the person
that we're going to play in this game
because when they sit and listen to this podcast,
it drives them insane that there's some actor or actress
that they know of that we've never played.
And sometimes people suggest actor or actresses
that don't have, you you know that would be very difficult
to do and sometimes people just
yell one out when I haven't asked
him to. You won't use Jodie Foster
as the last person on earth I would
play today
because I didn't ask yet
but I also have one person
that I saw on Twitter that I'm going
to ask to name somebody
and that is I am Catalyst.
Are you here?
And super upfront.
I could count on you for that.
Who do you think we should do today?
Kevin Costner.
Sweet.
That is, people love that choice.
The panelists, not so much.
What do we have to do? Name movies?
This is going to be an interesting one.
Parna won that last game,
so she gets to go first on this one.
And then we'll go to Kyle and then to Sean,
and then I'll jump in.
Just name any...
Stuff he been in.
That's what I have to name.
What?
Stuff that he's been in. That'sner. That's what I have to name. What? Stuff that he's been in.
That's how the game is played?
Yeah.
Okay.
I just.
Or directed.
Oh, or directed.
But I believe he was in those as well.
Okay.
And any Kevin Costner movie.
Okay, Dances with Wolves.
That's it.
You got one.
Kyle.
Bull Durham. Mm-hmm. Kyle. Bull Durham.
Mm-hmm.
Sean.
Silverado.
Oh, I liked him in that.
You know, just because they're a new sponsor of the show,
and this is funny timing,
I'm going to say Fandango.
Who else?
There's a lot of people.
Get your tickets for movies online at Fandango.com.
Wasn't Judd Nelson Fandango?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
His finest work, probably.
Other than Bender and Futurama.
Different Bender.
Whose turn is it, Sean?
Oh, pardon.
Oh, I said Fandango.
Okay, you're right.
It's your turn.
Field of Dreams.
Mm-hmm.
Kyle.
Tin Cup.
Yeah.
Knocking down all the sports movies.
Sean.
Draft Day.
Yeah!
You said that pretty nice.
Draft Day.
How about Man of Steel?
Oh, yeah.
He was excellent in that, I thought.
Good job.
Okay, I've run out of all the ones I know,
so I'm really going wild on this one.
Okay.
War of the Roses.
Jesus.
He should have been.
You did go very wild on that one.
I said I would.
Yeah, I don't think he's in that one.
Neither does anyone.
I'm sorry.
Danny DeVito takes all of his best parts.
So, Parn is out.
I'm out.
Sorry, corn.
Pass me that corn.
Because she's going to get her shithead said, and it's somebody
that I don't know who that is, so I'm guessing
it's somebody in Canadian politics.
For the
first several years that I did this show up here,
Rob Ford would show up all the time
as a shithead.
Kyle, do you have another one?
Waterworld.
Oh, God.
I don't know what somebody was trying to yell out.
I don't think it was an answer.
Were you trying to tell us something about Rob Ford or something?
No?
Okay.
My turn?
Yeah.
For the love of the game.
I think that's all of his sports movies,
except for the upside of anger.
He plays a former baseball player.
Kyle?
I don't know the name of it,
and I'm so pissed
because it's a sports movie, too,
so I actually know something more
about movies than you right now, Doug.
And I can't remember the name.
I was just assuming
we ran out of his sports movies.
It's not Breaking Away.
No, it isn't.
Is that your final guess?
Fuck.
Do you know the movie I'm trying to think of now?
Oh, yeah, I do.
I probably wouldn't have thought of it if it wasn't for you.
Ah, shit.
So thank you for that.
I can't remember the name of it.
Okay.
Sean's still in this.
I'm sure I'm going to lose to you,
because you probably know all of the movies in the world.
But I'm going to say The Postman.
I still can't think of sayings.
The Postman, of course. going to say The Postman. I still can't think of things. The Postman, of course.
Of course, The Postman.
The one Kyle's trying to think of is American Flyer.
Yeah.
Good one.
It gets the nosebleeds.
Yeah.
All right.
Do you have another one, Sean?
Yes.
Okay.
I have...
The Bodyguard.
Oh, shit!
That's a big one.
This feels like I'm trapped.
I feel like I've got...
no way out. Well, this is going to be a sneaky one.
Okay.
The big chill.
All right.
Because it was his body that's
being dressed in the first scene.
Yes. There's a flashback
that got cut from the movie where he was alive.
He's the guy who dies at the beginning,
brings them all together. But I
wouldn't even be surprised if that was just
somebody else's wrist.
I don't know if he came in for the...
The wrist double?
Do you just see like a suit being put on a body?
Why don't you just say another movie?
I'll give you a reason why.
I'll give you a reason why.
Oh, you have one.
And it's going to be a pithy answer.
Here's why I want to win right now.
Oh.
Revenge.
Oh.
He spices up his answers.
Shit.
Oh, I got another one.
Oh, my God.
Jeez, this is tough.
Although I might fuck it up,
because I can't remember if the middle word is and or or.
Shh.
Milo or Otis.
Oh my God.
Oh my God, I think I have one.
The amazing adventures of Milo or Otis.
The owner had to make a choice in the beginning.
It was real morbid.
It's a Sophie's choice of animal movies.
I don't know how many.
I'm not sure of the actual numerical number,
but I think it's 500 miles to Vegas.
Oh. Is it 1, 500 miles to Vegas. Oh.
Is it 1,000 miles to Vegas?
Oh.
Oh, no.
Okay.
Well, I tried.
You did.
It was close, though.
It's like 5,000, 3,000, fuck.
It's 3,000 miles to Graceland.
Oh, is it?
Yeah.
It takes place in Vegas.
But aren't they hit men who dress like Elvis?
They're in Vegas, yes.
Okay.
I couldn't remember.
No, it's smart to try to make sense of that movie
because it's really a quality film.
But that was good.
Sorry, I didn't have what it takes
to go the distance against the big D.
I like his movies that have numbers in the title.
Oh, really?
Mm-hmm.
Like what?
Three Days to Kill.
Oh, I just pushed that out of my mind.
Was he an astronaut ever?
I don't know what he did before he got into acting, but...
He wasn't in the right stuff, certainly.
But didn't he play
an astronaut? He should.
He's got an astronaut quality.
Like kind of a spacey
kind of look in the eyes? He's like a hillbilly,
but you know, get up there and fucking
get that astronaut. A hillbilly who knows
astrophysics kind of thing.
That's what astronauts are.
He wasn't a space cowboy? He wasn't in that?
No, he wasn't one of those guys.
He wasn't Clint Eastwood or James Garner.
But you see how he could have been.
I see that.
I could see it.
I could see that now.
I mean, probably when that movie was made,
he wasn't really an old guy yet.
No.
He wasn't an old guy movie.
He was a centrifuge to separate oil from water.
But it's either black or white or black and white.
Or black or white.
Oh.
Yeah, that was a recent movie that came out
where he wants to keep his black granddaughter
and society just won't have it because he uses the N-word.
Oh.
Oh, no.
What was the movie?
He loves his granddaughter, but he uses the N-word.
What are you going to do?
What was the movie where he kidnaps the kid and he's just...
Oh, my God, that's so good.
What's that movie?
The one where he kidnaps the kid and he's just... Oh, my God, that's so good. What's that movie?
The one where he kidnaps the kid and then he... They know all the...
Perfect World.
Perfect World.
That's a good movie, actually.
But also, what else did we miss, you guys?
It's so angry.
Shut up.
Shut up.
Wow.
JFK. We forgot JFK.
Oh, Jesus balls.
I'm sure you would have come up with that.
I wouldn't have.
30 days.
All right, we get it. There was a lot of them.
13 days.
What?
Untouchables, of course.
Hey, shut up!
Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves.
It's like you're all perfect.
Like you all know every goddamn movie in the world.
You don't.
Sit up here and try and be in the hot seat.
Piles of steaming shit.
Could you try that again, but without the anger?
Sit up here and be in the hot seat
without the piling steams of shit.
Steaming piles of...
Oh, I can't do it without anger.
But that means that Sean Cullen's our winner today.
Oh!
Oh! That means that Sean Cullen's our winner today. Does the crazy Ex Machina boot,
does it have a shithead on the back of it?
It does.
Does it?
Nice.
It's got one inside.
Oh, it's got it inside.
Okay, cool.
I've got to get this back to the owner
because this is a good item and dangerous.
Yeah, you've got to get that movie. I'm going to get all cut up trying to get this out of here. because this is a good item and dangerous. I love that movie.
I'm going to get all cut up trying to get this out of here.
That was a very good movie.
Ex Machina? Yeah, I enjoyed that a great deal.
That Oscar Isaac is a good
actor. They sure got good
actors for the new Star Wars. I'll give them that.
But I said that about Natalie
Portman once upon a time.
Boom.
Just the scene where he's doing the dance,
like he's just like having the party.
It's like they just do this really weird
choreographed dance.
Fucking crazy. Really brilliant.
It's really fun. Did you guys see that one?
Oh, I see it. It's great.
Ex Machina. Check it out.
You're going to like it.
Where's that person with Derek?
Derek, you know what?
It's going to be like a callback to the past.
And it really is just Willem Dafoe.
Is the shithead he wrote on the back?
I wasn't asking you what he wrote on there.
I just want to give him the prize bag.
Oh.
But that is fun that he wrote that on there.
Well, it's pretty obvious, right?
It's pretty obvious.
Seems like that's which way it was going.
Where is he?
Is that you?
Congratulations, Derek.
Sorry about that. How about I go back and we pretend that never happened way it was going. Where is he? Is that you? Congratulations, Derek. Sorry about that.
How about I go back and we pretend that never happened?
Oh, shit. Derek, wait.
Derek,
you're a seven up.
Wow, he was all
the way back to his seat already. I feel terrible.
Derek, wait. There's a new iPhone we're giving away, too.
No, wait. Hey.
You know what? We all
know what that one was, so why don't we do the corn one?
Do the corn.
Yeah.
Do the corn.
So I blew it.
I got this.
I blew it.
I'm sorry.
Could you do it with a different voice?
I gathered all the shitheads, and now we get to do some plugs.
What do you got to plug, Sean?
Well, I have my own podcast, which is a SeanPod.
You can download it for free or ignore it for nothing.
Either way, it's a bargain.
SeanPod.
The SeanPod.
The SeanPod.
Yeah.
Okay.
And anything else you want people to know about?
Well, I'm on Twitter at MrSeanCullen.
And people say it looks like Mrs.
Ian Cullen.
Yeah.
But I don't give a shit.
That's the way I roll.
And sometimes it sounds like someone else is tweeting with my voice.
But that's not always true.
If my tweets are not interesting, they usually have someone step in and retweet.
Oh, that's nice.
It's great. It's a service provided by
the MikeMyers.com
Kyle, what do you got
to plug?
I'm just, I'm out there.
You are crazy. Tour dates at
KyleKanane.com
Yeah, I'll be out later in the fall.
Yeah, find him, you guys.
Yeah.
Yay!
And two shows tonight over at the Royal Movie Theater.
He's going to be standing next to 28 Days Later.
Apana Nancherla.
Yes.
What is going on in your world?
I have a website, aparnacomedy.com,
and I have an album coming out in January.
What's the album called?
It's called Just Putting This Out There.
And will you come back on the show to promote the album?
I would love to.
I'll try to watch some movies before.
You did great.
You figured out that F was funny, people.
That was pretty good.
Yeah, yeah.
Let's hear it for all of my guests.
Sean Cullen, Kyle Kinane, Aparna Nancherla.
Follow them all on Twitter for laughs.
If laughter is your thing check them out and thank you to
justforlaugh42
hashtag justforlaugh42
jfl42 I fuck it up every time
hashtag jfl42
thank you to the queen elizabeth theater
it's always real nice to come back here
and thank you audience for coming out
on a cold, cold day.
You had to fight against the soccer hooligans next door just to get here.
And I appreciate the effort.
And as always, Russer Oliver is a shithead.
That's a good one.
He's a guy who sells, who says,
bring me your used gold.
Bring me your old gold.
I'll look, I'll give you $20
just to look at your old gold.
I love old gold.
Like gold gets old.
Used gold.
Ever.
Oh, this gold.
Oh, what's that smell?
Oh, the gold's gone bad.
Let's get rid of it. Let's call Russell Oliver. Ever. Oh, this gold. Oh, what's that smell? Oh, the gold's gone bad. Let's get rid of it.
Let's call Russell Oliver.
Yeah.
He'll take any old gold.
All right.
Well, that's good.
So it wasn't political like I assumed.
Steve Harper!
He sucks!
You guys are trying to throw in extra shitheads?
I didn't bring a name tag, but I'm full of hate.
Oh, I love it.
He's just not ready.
All right.
What was that?
Stephen Harper's slogan against Justin Trudeau,
who's a young, good-looking man.
He says, he's just not ready.
He says ready.
He thinks marijuana should be legalized.
He's just not ready.
In this country where we already act like
marijuana has been legalized.
He's just not ready to steal as much money as he can
from the people of Canada.
Just not ready.
Just not ready.
Well, I'm glad we got that
out there.
That stranger
who asked if I needed him
to tie my shoe because he thought
I was too dumb to do it myself.
He's a shithead.
Once again, today's episode of Douglas Movies was brought to you in part by DraftKings.
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Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky
There's no room in his heart for you
Cause Doug loves movies