Doug Loves Movies - Leonard Maltin, Mark Ellis and Graham Elwood guest
Episode Date: July 19, 2018Live from the American Comedy Co. in Sweet Home San Diego, Doug welcomes Leonard Maltin, Mark Ellis and Graham Elwood to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and Californi...a Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seats
With 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies Oh shit, I forgot about this table.
It's weirdly padded.
So when you put a cocktail down on it,
it's all like, wibble wobble.
You don't know what's going to happen with it.
But there's also already stuff up here on the table
that people have brought like it's my bar mitzvah.
Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies.
Coming to you, shush, coming to you
once again from the American Comedy Company
during Comic-Con
in Sweet Home San Diego.
Oh, shit.
We're doing it, you guys.
It's Wednesday night,
July 18th, 2018.
Right? Preview night.
People laugh when I say the date.
I think, oh, am I saying it wrong?
Am I too high
for this? Preview night
of SDCC.
Hashtag SDCC.
And I would like
get this, you guys.
Smooth segue time. I would like to preview some you guys, smooth segue time.
I would like to preview some name tags.
Oh boy.
This is, I got to go right to the one that's a parody of one of my own films, Chronicon.
It says Doug Benson in Kellycon.
Episode 420, a new donut.
Okay, you didn't change that part.
But, and there's donuts flying through there.
That's pretty cool.
Have a nice Dane.
Daned and confused.
Your name is Dane.
Okay, what's your last name?
Okay, good going with...
Nice choice of going with Dane.
Star Wars, the Larry...
The Larry...
The Larry Jedi.
This is just,
welcome to
Doug Loves Reading.
Instead of Galaxy Quest,
we have Galaxy Jest.
See, I get that.
That makes sense.
And then there's
this crazy poster
over here.
What's the name
of the movie
with the, me and Graham Elwood on there? what's the name of the movie with the me and graham elwood on there what's the name of the movie susan brides for susan
brothers and graham and i are dancing together like we're one of the couples in that film
good job susan i saw that one on the internet there's lots of good ones it's so dark in here
that like uh and i love the people that try to shine a light on their own name tag
It never fucking works
It's never helpful
But
Thank you to everybody for bringing those
And good luck to everybody
Three of you as you can see
I have three guest chairs
Three of you will be chosen
It's always great to be back here
at the American Comedy Company.
It's always nice to see Eddie,
the eagle.
That's what I call him.
That's what I call this eagle
that's behind us
and behind every comedian who performs here
at the American Comedy Company.
It's really strong branding.
We'll be sitting in front of this thing, but it'll be better lit than we are. American comedy company. It's really strong branding. Like, you know,
we'll be sitting in front of this thing,
but it'll be better lit than we are.
And I just gotta say,
I appreciate Eddie, though,
because I really like everything that he represents.
How's it going, Eddie?
Good.
Good.
good I know it's been a while since we spoke
but I didn't expect you to sound like that
that's the way I was born
okay alright I'm sorry
I didn't mean to be insulting
I appreciate all you do for America
I just hold this sign here.
Yeah, but it's, you know,
it's really representing America and comedy
and all that's great about both.
Thanks, Doug.
So, uh...
Let me just ask you a question.
Eddie.
Yeah?
Okay, good.
You're coming to life more here.
I'm having trouble.
You seem like you're sleepy.
Are you tired?
No, I just...
Nobody's talked to me in a long time.
There's a lot of comedians just coming out and talking
and not addressing you?
They didn't ignore me.
Does the club give you a drink or something?
Could you have some water?
No, nobody says nothing ever.
Okay, well, because it just seems like
you're just a sign on the stage, but, you know.
I'm more than a sign, I'm a symbol.
Oh, that's true. You're right.
Ha-caw!
That's a good point you're making.
Ha-caw!
So, Eddie, let me ask you this.
What's your favorite- Ask away, Doug.
Okay.
What's your favorite football team?
Of all time?
Yeah.
Probably the Giants.
Okay, so Eddie, I was trying to...
I would imagine you, of all, uh...
I was gonna say people, but of all eagles...
Oh, fuck those posers.
Oh, you don't...
You're not into the eagles.
No, they can't even fly.
I know, but they just finally won a Super Bowl.
Isn't that exciting?
Well, so a broken clock's right one time a day.
Wait, I think it's two times a day.
And what does that have to do
with anything? Not if it's on
military time.
Oh!
San Diego!
San Diego!
All right. Well, you represent our military in America.
Thank you, Doug.
I feel so seen.
I love everything.
I think you should be seen.
Hashtag Eagle to everybody.
And do you have a favorite band?
Yes.
Pretty easy on that one.
What's that?
The Yardbirds.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
All right.
So it's great to be back here with Eddie,
but now it's time for Doug Plugs.
Doug Loves Movies is back here
in this very club.
Hopefully Eddie will be still alive and talking okay
just you never said anything during any of my other shows so I don't know I
don't know what happened did Lindsay Lohan spit on you or a magic potion fall
out of Amy Adams ass yes yes okay, Eddie, yes. Okay, both those things happened,
and so Eddie is with us,
and it's great to have you here.
But Saturday, we'll be back at 4.20
with a Comic-Con,
another Comic-Con installment
with different guests than tonight.
So, you know, come back.
I mean, it's always a different show.
If I had the same three people on every show,
if I had Jeff Tate cloned
And had three of them out here
Every show people would be fine
Tickets are still available
I think for Saturday
Then Sunday I'm doing stand up at the Pioneer Center
In Reno, Nevada
So bring your name tags to that show
Next Tuesday Douglas Movies is back
At UCB Franklin in LA.
Still only $7 to get in there.
And no drink minimum.
And I'm doing two shows in Montreal
as part of Just for Laughs.
All my dates and dates are at DougLovesMovies.com
That's Doug Loves
Movies.com
Yeah!
I can't believe Eddie knew it.
And now that you said caca at the end.
Eddie, sorry, I can't believe I looked the wrong way.
That's okay.
Yeah, Eddie, thank you for adding that.
Because on the next show, people will caca at the end of that.
And they'll feel so proud of themselves.
That's what I'm here for, to bring pride.
Yes, it's all about pride.
We're all about pride.
From the corrections department,
Scarlett Johansson is in Captain America First Avenger.
Briefly, at the end, so there.
Prize bag, we've got a, looks like a
little purse kind of item that says
Amazing Spider-Man on it.
And let's see what's,
let's take a quick peek at what's inside.
Oh, inside is Anthrax!
Alright, so somebody's gonna win an empty
thing. And then,
and then also we have here,
it says pro wrestling
loot. So I think it's like a loot crate
but from a pro wrestling
perspective. It says
for prize box, please just
mention this. Okay, I've done that.
I've also got
for the prize bag, if you're
walking down the street in San Diego right
now, they try to make you take a
extra thin
entertainment weekly. So passing that along. I was at a thing and somebody gave me this.
It's I am that web.org. And I talked to somebody. They gave me this yellow bottle. And so go check them out at
Iamthatweb.org
Bask.
This is blood orange
herbal tea.
And it's got
25 active MGs
of CBD per
sachet.
Did you know a thing that the tea comes in
is called a Satchit?
I did not know that and I might even be
saying it wrong.
But wasn't it great when I had Bob Satchit
on the show?
I've got a CD of
mine called Smug Life,
stickers for Never Not Funny
and Douglas Movies, and
a beautiful Christmassy
peacemaker, Water Pipe.
Don't call it anything else.
If you call it something else, I'll say wrong because it rhymes.
So there you go.
All that stuff is in the bag.
And plus the stuff brought by my guest tonight.
I'd say three esteemed individuals.
It's Comic-Con week.
So I have to have three esteemed individuals
in the area of film conversation and criticism.
So please give it up, everybody, for...
Who do I have tonight?
It's Mark Ellis,
Graham Elwood, and Leonard
Maltin!
Thank you! Oh, no, hang on to it.
That was for you, Doug.
Oh, well, thank you for very...
Oh, it's for me personally?
It's not for the prize bag?
Your version is in the mail.
I was just showing you.
All right.
Let's meet them individually,
starting with, directly to my left right in
front of eddie it's mr leonard malton thank you one and all
oh my god eddie is so excited i should just to it. Eddie, do you have any questions for the great film critic Leonard Maltin?
Leonard, where do you stand on Bird on a Wire?
Did you like that one?
With Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn?
No, not Kurt Russell. I apologize.
Mel Gibson.
He is not racist. Yes, Mel Gibson.
Mel Gibson and Goldie Hawn
did you like that
not a lot
I didn't like that
no
yeah we're down on that
nothing further Doug
okay
he's
he's gonna
have I established
my street cred
with Eddie now
do you think
I don't know
I mean
Eddie's
never come to life before
so this is
this is a very exciting night
momentous but it's always exciting to have Leonard Maltin on the show never come to life before. So this is a very exciting night. Momentous.
But it's always exciting to have Leonard Maltin on the show
because, you know, you're...
I don't know.
How many movies do you think you're seeing a year
at this point in your life?
Couple hundred.
Couple hundred.
Yeah.
You're a bunch of failures out there.
Can't even see 50 or 10.
50 or 10.
My math is weird.
I must say,
I must tell you,
I've gotten choosier
as I'm getting older.
Right.
Well, I, of course,
have also gotten choosier.
Like, to me,
if a movie really wants me
to not see it,
then make sure I see
the trailer a lot
because then I'm going to be like,
I've seen it.
I feel like I've seen it.
Exactly.
That movie, The Mountain Between Us. did you see that one no with Idris
Alba and Kate Winslet you know they fucking fall in love on a mountain you
would not even believe how long they spend deciding if they're in love or not
after getting off of that fucking mountain the movie just plays like an
action film and it's like nope you got some time
at the end son
where you really have to watch some people learn
what they've learned about each other
on that mountain
and it turns out yes there is a mountain
between them
in more ways than one
it's a beautiful description
and you get to see a man get his leg caught in a bear trap
which is always hilarious
so
what is it with torture there's torture in all these movies And you get to see a man get his leg caught in a bear trap, which is always hilarious. Yes. So.
What is it with torture?
There's torture in all these movies now. Yeah, too much torture.
Yeah, I really can't take it.
Not enough little kisses, little sweet kisses.
Yes.
I want more movies with that and less movies with torture.
Did you see Red Sparrow?
I did not, but I bet there's no sweet.
Good call, Leonard!
Good call!
There's no sweet... Oh, look, a rat.
There's no sweet kisses.
No, not one. That one.
Not a single one. I have not seen it. I haven't even
been able to bring myself to watch it on a plane
because I'm often next to someone.
You'll want to walk out, so don't do that.
Okay, yes.
Great advice, you guys. Don't watch a
shitty movie on a plane because you
might walk out.
There was
a theater critic when I was growing up
at the New York Times named Mel
Gusso. Very good writer.
And he was kind of the second string
critic. But like a lot of second stringers, he was really good.
Almost as good as the main guy.
Why did you look at me when you said like a lot of second string critics?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
A lot of third bananas, Mark.
Just a little head turn.
Like a lot of schmoes.
Yeah.
He had a great theory.
He had a theory that any bad play and by extension any bad movie
always had self-incriminating dialogue
in it. So for instance
he'd be watching a French farce, a really
clumsy French farce and
in the middle of the interminable act two
some character would say, how much
longer can this go on?
So ever
since then I've had that
in mind. Well, I just saw Mamma Mia, Here We Go Again.
Oh.
And if you say it with the right cadence,
that's the review of the movie.
Right.
Mamma Mia, Here We Go Again.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Mamma Mia, when is enough enough?
Or mama mia, that's a spicy meat bomb.
So what's your review, Leonard?
I know it's coming out.
It'll be in theaters tomorrow night with the preview screening.
So I think you can go ahead and drop the hammer right now.
Well, you know, you can take your grandmother to this movie
safely. Okay, that's
the last thing I want to say to anybody
to excite them
unless they have a grandmother
that's quite the cine-esque.
I don't want to beat on it because
it's an innocuous movie.
Sure. But
they used up all the good songs
in the first movie.
So this is like the second tier ABBA songs.
Don't let Fernando hear you say that.
No, no, wait a minute.
And so what they have to do is they have to repeat.
They have to repeat.
They do do-overs of the songs?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, that's so lame.
Waterloo and Fernando and Mamma Mia.
Here we go again.
Damn.
All right.
Well, I was kind of excited about it.
I know you like musicals.
I do.
This might put it to the test a little bit.
Okay.
I love being put to the test.
I'll just sit there the whole time.
It's a musical.
The other thing I have to point out
is if you see a poster for it anywhere,
a bus ad or a poster,
or even if you're in a theater
and you can see the one sheets
behind the window case there,
look at the photoshopping,
we used to call it airbrushing,
that they have done on the cast of this movie,
all of whom look just great on
screen sure so there's no reason to have to do this kind of retouching don't got to do it yeah
they make it look all like plastic dolls yeah well yeah they flatten out their features and
uh you know it's can't wait to see it i'm more excited thanks to your reviews I'm more excited to see the poster than the movie
this might be an appropriate case
yeah alright
I just I gotta do it
every time it comes up I do it
it's stupid but
in the trailer for Mamma Mia
when Cher shows up
with her sunglasses on
and it's night time and
her granddaughter,
or wherever the fuck she's supposed to be,
says, what are you doing here?
You weren't invited.
She goes, that's the best kind of party, girl.
Mark Ellis is here, everybody.
Thank you.
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you, Doug Benson.
Thanks for being here, dude.
I know you got a crazy Comic-Con schedule, a lot of stuff going on.
A lot of fun stuff is going to be back here on Friday night on this very stage.
Oh, well, let's talk about that.
What are you going to do on this stage?
A little bit of stand-up comedy, Doug.
I don't know if the Eagle's going to be speaking then.
Hopefully we can give him some smelling salts
and he'll be back.
What do you think, Eddie?
Are you into it?
Can you come see his show?
I'm happy to be here.
Got no plans.
Okay, he's got no plans
because he's assigned on a comedy club stage,
so he doesn't have a lot of options.
Just worried.
Can I do a guest set?
Oh, shit. Can he do type 5?
I mean, he can. I was worried by the tone of Eagle's
voice that he might be getting up there in years
and the show's at 10 p.m., so I don't know
if he's still going to be awake.
I'm 232,
42 years old.
It's acceptable to lose count when you get to a certain age yeah I think
that's fair what else you got going on at comic-con while you're here hosting
the Rotten Tomatoes your opinion sucks panel with the Hard Rock every it's
every day from 5 to 6 oh that sounds fun yeah it's gonna be fun a lot of fans
come out y'all are welcome to show up and say what favorite controversial movie opinion you may have.
You think a bad movie is really good. You think a good movie is really bad.
You can hash it out with critics and I just get to referee the whole thing.
Oh, let me run one by you. I love The Godfather.
I mean, isn't that crazy? I feel special.
If you could put a three after that movie,
we might have something.
Well, I do love Godfather 3
because
you know, I'm just
not that good at improvising
to come up with a reason to like
that movie. But thank you
for being here, dude.
Yeah.
My lack of having a joke ended your
interview. That's how that worked out.
I feel like that was on me.
I failed and then moved on from you.
Any improv
class you take, Groundlings, UCB, they'll
tell you, never yes and with a Godfather
3 joke. It's going to end poorly.
Yeah, it could be trouble, but
Andy Garcia?
He was good in it. Co-star of Mamma Mia, here we trouble, but Andy Garcia? He was good in it.
Co-star of Mamma Mia, Here We Go Again.
Andy Garcia's in that?
Yeah.
And they make him sing, too?
Yeah, he...
Oh, has he got those Pierce Brosnan pipes?
I don't want to give away what I shouldn't give away.
Okay, good.
Pierce Brosnan...
The stars that night They were so bright
But not at all
Okay, thanks, Andy.
We'll bring in a stunt voice.
Shit, you're scaring birds, Andy.
All right.
Also joining us...
Wow, this is an extended mix intro.
Graham Elwood is here!
Hey, what's up? extended mix intro. Graham Elwood is here!
Hey!
What's up?
Hello, San Diego.
How's everybody doing in San Diego tonight?
Just talking to my regular voice
for podcasting.
Doug, I love how you,
yes, yes,
and your interview's over.
Yeah, thanks for playing along.
Get out.
So what's going on with you, Graham?
You've got some fun activities coming up here at Comic-Con?
Yes, I do have some fun activities.
I'm hosting every year, along with Chris Mancini,
Rick Meyers' Superhero Kung Fu Extravaganza panel
tomorrow night at 8 o'clock in Hall 6A, Rick Myers, superhero kung fu extravaganza panel tomorrow night at 8 o'clock
in Hall 6A, I think,
where he shows new karate kung fu movies
and we talk about them,
and it's awesome.
Sounds super fun.
It's good business.
I've been doing it, I don't know,
sixth year maybe doing it?
Shit, no way.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah, bro.
That's right, dude.
That's right.
It's fucking on.
Okay.
What do you
got for the prize bag this evening?
Well, Doug, I've got
raw fusion plant protein.
Okay, let's
start on the other end. Leonard, what do you have?
So, I really think people are
going to need to get ripped, and it's
really good. It's gluten-free, and it's got some
branched-chain amino acids on it. I know all my workout bros know what i'm talking about especially nerds um
nerds are big into working out and then a copy of uh earbuds the podcasting documentary
that you're in so i say get a fucking pumping workout well and then uh you know eat your
protein and then watch a podcasting
documentary.
Do you ever see this movie, Leonard?
No. Yeah, because you're picky.
Do you want to take this copy?
Yeah, you want it?
No, I couldn't take it away from the winner,
the logical winner tonight. Yeah, that's fair. Well, I couldn't take it away from the winner, the logical winner tonight.
Yeah, that's fair.
Well played, Leonard, well played.
He's been handed so many DVDs over his life,
he just has a stock.
Oh, no, I wouldn't want to take that away
from your bookshelf.
That would be...
That's his line for every movie he doesn't want to watch.
I couldn't take it away from a fan.
Yeah, you made that movie, you should keep it, is what he says to a lot of filmmakers.
Just hang on to that movie you made.
I know it's expensive to get DVDs made, so you just hold on to that.
That cost you $4.75.
What do you got for us there, Mark Ellis?
I have a movie that I cannot wait to hear if Mr. Leonard Maltin had reviewed
when it was originally released in 2000.
So what Rotten Tomatoes is doing every day this Comic-Con is that at the show, your opinion sucks.
If you lose a game, you get to draw a prize from the Rotten Bag.
The Rotten Bag is some of the worst movies that have been made over the last 30 years.
We have them in DVD form.
You're Gigli's, you're Howard the Duck's, you're Rocky V's.
I happen to bring... Hey, Howard have them in DVD form. You're Gigli's, you're Howard the Duck's, you're Rocky V's. I happen to bring...
Hey, Howard the Duck's a classic!
I was wondering if the eagle would be
sensitive to Rocky V, because Rocky's
in Philly, but apparently he's a
Giants fan, so he doesn't really... No.
...care about that.
Doug, I brought a movie that is a
shining example that you can create a shared universe
and recast it entirely
without losing any sort of box office clout,
and that's the reason why I brought the DVD film
The Flintstones' Viva Rock Vegas.
Can anybody in the crowd tell me who played Barney Rubble?
You know, you don't want to start asking the crowd to yell out answers.
It's probably a good idea.
There's the DVD.
I know.
I know who it was.
Let's see if the...
Eddie, do you know who it is, Eddie?
Stephen Baldwin.
Okay.
I was going to say Andy Garcia.
Mama mia.
Here we go again Yabba yabba doo
Oh, Leonard Maltin
Last but not least
What'd you bring for us?
It's been a great prize
bag so far. I brought a tie-in
for one of the best movies of the year, which happens
to be a documentary, and it's becoming
quite a hit. This is a Mr.
Rogers. A Mr. Rogers
pop
figure.
Funko
Bunko.
And he's holding a little train from his Mr. Rogers show. The movie's called Won't You Be My Neighbor?
And if you haven't seen it yet, it's terrific.
I feel like I'm afraid I'll cry through the whole thing.
You will.
Okay.
Thanks, Leonard.
Yeah.
And also, being shameless, I brought a copy of my new book.
Yes.
Hooked on Hollywood.
Hooked on Hollywood by Leonard Maltin.
Which is a collection of articles and interviews over many decades.
Going back to my teens, actually.
Wow, your teens.
You were a teen interviewer.
I was. That's I was not a good one
right but I say
whatever you do the earlier you start
the better and that's
awesome so thank you for bringing those things
and for being here
and I'm going to ask you first
maybe you already answered
this question but what was the last movie you saw
was it Mamma Mia 2
back fucking at it this question, but what was the last movie you saw? Was it Mamma Mia 2?
Back fucking at it?
Mamma Mia 2? Yeah, try to stop
us.
Mamma Mia 2,
what are you looking at?
And every one of those
subtitles fits.
Right?
Yeah.
Well, what was the last movie you saw?
Was it that one or another one?
It was that one, actually.
Oh, shit.
Well, what was the one you saw before that?
Just before that, I saw...
If you can recall.
Well, that I can recall is the trick part.
Yeah.
That's why I'm not seeing as many movies.
Tell us about a movie you've seen,
like maybe like...
Well, I mean...
Singing in the Rain.
No, I can't talk short about Singing in the Rain. No, I can't talk short
about Singing in the Rain. It's too great.
Too many great things to say. There's so many things
to say.
I saw
the film Leave No
Trace. Oh, okay. Which is
really good with Ben Foster.
Always great. But usually menacing.
He's nice in this one no he's nice
he's a he's a an overprotective father who's suffering from ptsd and he's trying to live with
his his daughter off the grid completely he's he he doesn't want to deal with the government or any
government agency ever again and uh it's written and directed by Deborah Granik, who made Winter's Bone,
the film that launched Jennifer
Lawrence. Prior to that,
a film called Down to the Bone, which
made me aware of Vera Farmiga
for the first time.
She and her writing partner, Anne Rossellini,
adapted this novel, and it's a really
moving film. Ben Foster,
who I always like, is
exceptionally good. The girl, I can't remember her name, I'm embarrassed to who I always like, is exceptionally good.
And the girl, I can't remember her name,
I'm embarrassed to say,
but the girl is great too.
Somebody knows it.
Leave No Trace.
Good movie.
Doug, could I ask the eagle
how the eagle feels about a lead character
who doesn't trust the government agencies anymore?
Fuck Trump.
Oh, wow.
Okay.
Eagle flying. This eagle really. Okay. Eagle flying.
This eagle really does put country before party.
Hell yeah, dude!
All right.
I didn't expect when I started talking to an American eagle
to get into it.
No, dude.
These feathers don't run.
Okay.
All right.
That's cool, man.
I think there's going to be lines around the block
every Douglas movies we do here from now on.
People just can't wait to...
Dude, the eagle fucking talked, man.
I swear.
I swear to God, you got to go check out the talking eagle.
He fucking doesn't say a word during anybody else.
Okay, so Mark Ellis, what was the last movie you saw?
Well, the last movie I saw, Doug, if I could, I'd like to try Leonard's Theory from Mamma Mia.
Here we go again with the movie I saw because it is also a sequel with a subtitle.
So I'm going to attempt it for you all right now.
Mission Impossible Fallout?
It's the last movie I saw.
How'd that work out for you?
Is it too soon for you to say your opinions publicly?
Of the joke I just told didn't land as well as I wanted it to.
No, I'm allowed to
state my opinion. It's good.
It's not as good as the last two, but I thought
the last two were great. I thought
Ghost Protocol and
Rogue Nation were fantastic
movies. This one was really good,
but there's literally a scene where it's like
Tom Cruise is just throwing a middle finger
to everybody who makes fun of him running
in movies because he
runs and then he keeps running
and I swear, have you seen it?
And then he keeps running some more. He keeps running
some more!
And it's all leading up. Who's he thinking he is, Forrest Gump?
He's literally
running a car. He runs a lot.
And the
problem for the viewers,
that we all know that Tom Cruise hurt himself
doing a stunt on the movie,
and this is the scene.
And so as a viewer, you have this morbid fascination,
like, is this the part?
No, I survived, okay.
And then you keep watching it,
and it's like for five minutes.
And you're like, just hurt your fucking ankle already!
But yeah, I noticed that he ran for a long time,
but it's a good movie.
It's a solid Mission Impossible film,
start to finish, I can say that.
You know, I think he's the hardest working man
in show business and needs to dial it back a little.
He gives his all so hard.
Yeah, he doesn't have to jump off of something every movie.
Make another Lions for Lambs that we can all just not see.
Graham Elwood.
Yeah.
What are you passing there?
Holy shit.
Goat urine.
Drink it, motherfucker.
Don't be a pussy.
Comic-Con is crazy.
Oh, I'm sorry.
It's fucking Tauntaun urine.
All right.
This may smell bad, kid.
Yeah, but that'll keep you warm during a Hoth winter time.
Nice.
Nice. Nice.
I literally handed you a riff to run on
and you took it.
It was fucking like a baton of riffs.
I ran like Tom Cruise
in Mission Impossible Fallout.
Ha-ka-ka!
Ka-ka!
Run, Forrest, run!
No, again?
Didn't work twice?
I feel like a castaway Wilson
You're drinking goat urine
I love that joke
People at home
Somewhere is laughing
People at home
Who listens to People at home.
Who listens to podcasts at home?
I mean, I guess some people do, but... Yeah, they sit around
and they're Philco
and they turn on the fucking podcast.
They get the whole family around.
Oh, Douglas Movies is on.
Wake up the baby.
Oh.
All right, turn it off, Bert.
Let the games begin!
Did I ask you what last movie you saw,
Wes Graham? Nope.
Let's do that real quick.
I saw Won't You Be My Neighbor, which is a
fantastic documentary.
I knew there was a reason I skipped you.
No reason to get into that again.
Let's see some name tags.
Gentlemen,
pick who you'd like to play for tonight.
Physically get that
name tag from them.
We've got...
Eddie can fly out into the crowd and grab one
if need be. Do you see any that you like, Eddie can fly out into the crowd and grab one if need be.
Do you see any that you like, Eddie?
No?
You don't see any that you like, Eddie?
Somebody wanted coffee?
Somebody ordered a coffee?
Who wanted coffee?
Graham?
Has Graham ordered a coffee?
Who wanted coffee?
Somebody wanted coffee.
That's the name of my new podcast, Somebody Wanted Coffee.
It's just a show about just trying to stay awake.
Get through your life.
Where's he going?
All right, this is...
If anyone made an Iron Eagle poster, I'll pick it!
Well, I was just asking you.
I know a waitress was asking you questions,
but which posters do you like, Eddie?
I like the Force Awakens. What do you think of Galaxy Jest? Do you like, Eddie? I like the Force of Waynekins.
What do you think of Galaxy Jess?
Do you like that one, Galaxy Jess?
That's a solid flick.
All right, we're really getting into it.
Looks like Mark Ellis found something.
Graham, is Graham...
Did you find one, Graham?
Oh, I was going to take that one. Oh, which one is he... Okay. Graham is Graham did you find one Graham oh
which one is he okay
alright we're good
great job everybody
the listeners
got to hear that name tag
selection process and now they know why
I put the ads there usually
oh that is a nice one me and
Jeff Tate alright what do you got there, Graham? I've got
Guardians of the Galaxy, and it's you and I
and a bunch of other people as the various
characters on the movies
of the Guardians of the Galaxy.
Whose name is it on the name tag?
I don't know. They just did
Guardians of the Galaxy, and I guess their
name is... Is their name Alexi?
Huh? Garda Dan. Garda Dan.
Garda Danians, you dummy-ians.
Guarded Dan's.
Guarded Dan's of the galaxy.
All right.
Well, that's fucking stupid.
Yeah, sometimes they sneak them in there.
Wow, I picked a dumb one.
All right, do you want to trade it in for another one?
No, no.
You're good?
Yeah, I'm good.
You're going to stick with Dan and his dummy-ian?
Jesus.
Guarded Dan and the fucking galaxy gan or whatever.
Shit.
All right, you can put it on the ground.
You don't have to hold it up the whole time.
All right, I'm going to just kill it.
What do you got there, Mark?
Well, Doug, before Michael Keaton was an Oscar-nominated actor or Batman,
he was a great comedic actor.
And before that, he was a great stand-up comic.
I've heard from people who were around back in the early days of the Comedy Store,
he was one of the best comics that they ever saw on stage.
I don't know if the Eagle ever watched Michael Keaton do stand-up back in the day,
but he's pretty good.
The Eagle has had more and more things to do.
Yeah, I don't think this place has been open long enough for the...
This is an early Michael Keaton work called Johnny Dangerously.
But the heads have been replaced.
Doug Benson is on there.
I see Bert Kreischer on there as well.
There's some other...
It was interesting.
Like, half of the people applauded for that movie.
So, like, when Thanos snapped his fingers, like, all of people who like Johnny Dangerously
could have been gone.
Yeah, I would like to think that I randomly selected
a group of people that Thanos snapped his fingers
to get those last 17 tickets for my show on Friday at 10 p.m.
We'll see if it works, Doug.
Right here at ACC, right, Eddie?
Right. Eddie's not staying awake till Doug. Right here at ACC. Right, Eddie? Right.
Eddie's not staying awake until 10.
I can already tell.
Eddie, the sleepy bald eagle.
I do get sleepy.
What do you got there, Leonard?
Who are you playing for?
Well, this is Susan Brides for Susan Brothers.
Yes, we talked to her earlier.
Classic movie. It's my wife's we talked to her earlier. Classic movie.
It's my wife's favorite movie of all time.
My wife's!
And my daughter's favorite movie of all time.
My daughter!
But somehow, Howard Keel and Jane Powell have been replaced.
By me and Graham Elwood.
By you and Graham.
It's beautiful.
I love it.
All right, let's play some games.
We've established who's going to win all this great stuff.
And the first thing we're going to do, this is very exciting,
is a game we've played on the show for a while, but
we're bringing it back
in a brand new way. Let's play
Doing Lines with Eddie.
A call! Doing Lines with Eddie
the Eagle.
I know. Eddie the Eagle
is going to say a line from a motion picture.
You guys just, you know,
look right here at the eagle and
try to guess what movie eddie is quoting
uh you can just jump in with your guesses as often as you like until uh somebody until eddie
confirms that somebody's right because i don't know what eddie's gonna do i i don't even know
that he was gonna make these weird noises while i was trying to to introduce the game. Are you ready?
Ready, Eddie?
Yeah.
Okay.
Look good, fly good.
Wait, look good?
You said look good, fly good?
Look good, fly good.
Look good, fly good.
Okay.
All right, Top Gun.
All right, it's just something I guessed
that he's going to say before he does it.
But now he's going to say a line from the movie.
I literally didn't know if he said anything, but I was going to get stop guns.
It does seem like a movie Eddie would like.
Solid flight, boys.
Ready? Here we go.
Okay, okay.
Sound like Mickey Mouse.
All right.
Ready? Here we go.
I feel like Eddie's voice keeps changing.
Wasn't he an old guy?
Now he's a Mouseketeer.
He perked up.
I'm trying to act.
All right, Eddie.
Give us a line from a movie.
Why are they doing this?
Why are they doing this?
They said when you got here, the whole
thing started. Who are you?
What are you? Where did you
come from? I think
you're the cause of all this.
I think you're evil, evil.
Top gun.
Why are they doing this?
Godfather Part 3. Godfather Part 3.
Godfather Part 3 is Leonard's guest.
No.
They said when you got here, the whole thing started.
Who are you?
What are you?
Where did you come from?
I think you're the cause of all this.
I think you're evil.
Evil.
There's no way that they made that noise after saying that.
I was feeling it.
Okay.
You want another one?
Yeah, another line from the same movie.
Okay.
Okay, no audience guesses.
Thank you.
No guesses from the panel either.
Well, but I want you to.
I hope you answer.
All right. Give us another hope you answer. All right.
Give us another line, Eddie.
All right, here we go.
Here we go, Eddie.
Get yourself guns and wipe them all off the face of the earth.
Get yourself guns and wipe them all off the face of the earth.
Uh, tombstone?
I'm not your huckleberry.
No!
Oh, wow.
You answered with a quote from...
All right.
Okay, ready?
Do you have another one?
Yeah.
No?
Do you happen to have a pair of birds that are just friendly?
The birds.
It is the birds!
The birds!
Oh, my God.
Hitchcock's the birds.
Very nice.
What an unusual choice for Eddie the Eagle.
As the guest Tombstone was coming out of my mouth,
I was just hoping that Stone somehow was a kind of hawk or something, because i was guessing i missed it because it wasn't a bird in the title so that's
i i you know kudos to you for figuring out that it has something to do with birds uh
i was completely baffled by it but that means mark gets to go first in our next game and uh
you guys it was a big hit in Salt Lake City.
I don't know if you heard that show.
But I'm so excited to do it again.
It's Plummer Lee!
Plummer Lee!
Plummer Lee!
Leonard, this is about the films of Christopher Lee and Christopher Plummer.
Plummer Lee!
People confuse them. I know
you know the difference.
I think my whole panel knows
the difference. So I'm going to say
starting with Mark, I'm going to say
a movie that's got Christopher Lee
or Christopher Plummer
or neither. Or neither?
Yes. Mark gets to guess
one of those three things. If he's wrong,
then we go to Graham. If he's wrong, then we go to Graham.
If he's wrong, then we go to Leonard.
And as you all know, there's only three options.
So if you screw this up on the first two guesses,
the third person has a gimme,
but they also have to remember what the first two guesses were.
It's pretty hot, Boxy, back there in the green room.
So good luck to everybody.
This was a big hit in Salt Lake City?
They fucking loved it, Leonard.
Okay.
All right.
How often do you tell people at dinner parties and stuff
that Captain America says,
what do you say to you?
Name it, bitch.
How often do you tell that story?
Almost never.
Okay.
My daughter loves telling that story.
Okay, Jesse always tells it.
Okay, good.
Somebody in the family
needs to tell that story.
Some poor guy's going to be
at a dinner party with Leonard
a month from now
just looking at him like,
is he going to do it?
He's going to be like,
pass the potatoes, bitch.
I mean...
Okay.
See, nobody likes
anyone talking to you that way
except for Captain America.
He can get away with it.
Mark?
Sir?
Who's in this movie?
Is it Christopher Lee, Christopher Plummer, or neither?
It's a film called Lock Up Your Daughters.
Oh, man.
I feel like one of them is in it.
And I feel like if Christopher Lee was in it,
he just probably looked a little creepy as a young man.
Like, Lock Up Your Daughters, it's like more of a horror movie with him.
He was Dracula.
Shit.
Because Christopher Plummer's like a gent.
He comes strolling to town like, hey, lock up your daughters.
The guy from Sound of Music's in town Let me just point out that we've got a few of these to get through
We don't need to see all of your work
I'm going to say, I'm going to go the horror route
Christopher Lee
Christopher Lee, incorrect
Graham? Neither Incorrect Leonard? Far out, Christopher Lee. Christopher Lee, incorrect.
Graham?
Neither.
Incorrect.
Leonard?
Would that be Christopher Plummer, then? That is correct.
Esteemed film historian Leonard Maltin knew the answer.
Do you remember a movie called Lock Up Your Daughters?
Is that a Hammer film?
Probably.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, I know that when you looked up when it was playing, it was at Hammer time.
All right.
Don't hurt him.
Yes.
Thank you, sir.
Starting once again with Mark.
I'll be quick.
Leonard has one point.
Mark, a movie called
The Day That Shook the World.
Christopher Lee, Christopher Plummer, or neither?
I'm going back to my boy Christopher Lee
on that one, Doug.
Okay, incorrect.
Graham.
I'm going to go Christopher Plummer.
That is correct.
Graham is on the board
That's fucking right
One point for Graham
One point for Leonard
Thank you for being here Mark
I hope the next one's a Star Wars prequel
Wow
Well it does
It does begin with the word star
So I believe
Technically you could call it a Star Wars prequel.
Leonard Maltin, who's in or neither?
Star Crash.
Star Crash.
Is that Leonard or me going first?
I think because you got a point this last time?
I did.
Yeah, so now it's Leonard's turn.
All right.
Yeah. Thanks, Mark.
I'm going to guess,
and this is just a guess.
Of course.
Neither.
No, that's not right.
Let's back up the tape.
Now we go to Mark.
If it's a Star Wars prequel,
Count Dooku is in it. Christopher
Lee. Incorrect.
Graham Elwood.
Well,
if Christopher Plummer was in it,
he would ride in on a horse, and
everyone would know who he is.
Doug, can I go fourth?
Yeah, I'll say Christopher Plummer.
That is correct.
I really had to look at it.
Make sure.
So who's got points now?
I got two.
Okay.
I got one.
That's all we need to know.
Graham's running away with this thing.
It's Leonard's turn again though right
lucky me
dreamscape
Christopher Plummer
that is correct
Leonard has two
Graham has two
Mark Ellis is here
didn't I get the inaugural
point for hanging out?
For hanging out?
You get a point? Is that what you said?
No, I won the point for the other thing.
Yeah, yeah, that doesn't mean anything.
Nor will the
point somebody wins from this.
It's all just time-wasting games
until the fucking white knuckler.
Oh.
I thought you were just going all dark,
like, we're all gonna die.
It doesn't matter.
Eat your french fries.
The eternal darkness is coming.
This prize bag will be ashes within days.
Nothing you've ever done matters.
Have fun.
Oh, that was a lovely that was very
that was like the who down in Whoville
it was like let's party anyway
that was awesome
okay so where are we at
Mark
Leonard got the last point
Mark which one of those acting giants
or neither participated in An American Tale, the first of the Fievel adventures?
The Fievelverse.
Oh, God.
Oh, my God.
There's so much intricate things going on in the Fievelverse.
You guys really need to read up on it.
Doug, is this before Fievel went west?
Oh, yeah.
It was the prequel to Fievel Went West.
Some call it the original.
Damn it.
I was all ready to guess Christopher Lee because him and I are like this,
but I really think somewhere in the back of my mind that Christopher Plummer did a voice in American Tail.
You are on the board, sir.
I love you, Kevin Spacey.
I mean Christopher Plummer.
Graham, which one of those dudes is in Mind Field?
Mind Field.
So not mine field.
It's like they're having some fun with the word mine field,
but changing it to the explosions that happen in a mind field.
Brain explosions.
Christopher Plummer.
That is correct.
Maybe I said too much.
Okay, so Graham has three, Leonard has two,
and Mark Ellis has one.
And Graham took a bow
for the one guy listening at home.
No, he's a real
grandstander. He's a gramstander.
Should we point out that both of these wonderful actors,
one alive, one no longer with us,
made an extraordinary number of crappy movies.
Oh, yeah.
No, they both worked a lot.
This game is milkable.
They worked a lot.
All right, so where are we at with Minefield?
Done.
Yeah, I did it.
I got it.
Oh, you got it.
All right.
That's how strong the Minefield is.
Speaking of Minefields, where am I?
All right.
So Leonard gets to go first for, this is a real movie,
Red-Blooded American Girl.
Who was in that?
And was it longer than 63 minutes?
I'm going to guess neither.
Hmm.
Provocative.
No.
No.
No.
To my recent point about their...
Right.
Graham?
Christopher Plummer.
That's right.
Ah! Okay, so since Graham has four and Leonard has two,
sit this one out, Mark.
We'll start with Leonard.
Which one was in Rock-A-Doodle?
Another animated film.
Rock-A-Doodle.
Yes, yes.
Doodle.
Yes.
A memorable title.
Thank you for the clarification.
Not Rock-Or-Doodle.
No.
Rock-A-Doodle. Yes, it's Not rock or doodle. No. Rock a doodle.
Yes, it's a very memorable doodle title.
The doodle and the rocks are together.
Christopher Plummer.
Oh, we have a tie.
No, we don't.
Leonard just has three and Graham has four,
so sorry about that.
It felt really exciting,
because the last one was going to be Chang in Star Trek III,
The Undiscovered Country.
Do you want me to give my point?
I can give my point to Leonard if you want,
so I can watch the carnage and see.
It'll still just tie it up, but what do you think it is there, Mark?
I know, it's Christopher. Who played Chang?
It's Christopher Plummer. Yeah.
He played Chang.
Scarlett Johansson's just like pointing
at a picture of him playing Chang, going
why can't I play a trans person?
And the reason is
because progress.
Alright, so and the reason is because progress.
All right.
That was Undiscovered Country.
It was a while ago and a fairly undiscovered movie.
Let's play one more game.
So Graham won that one.
Let's hear it for Graham Elwood for winning that one.
So he gets to go first in our last game tonight,
and then it'll go Graham, then Mark,
and then Leonard and myself,
and we're going to play Last Man Stanton,
the one that I like to play along.
We're going to get a name or two from the audience,
and then we're going to take turns naming movies those people have been in, or that one person,
if they give us a great one right out of the gate
so let's see i got uh people in the audience that are supposedly here and reached out on twitter
where is everett scott scp that's you right there and if we talked on the show before
you've been on the show you got pulled up out of the audience. That's right. You kind of changed your look a little bit.
A little bit, yeah.
You let your hair grow out.
Okay.
So you're well aware of a lot of the names
that have been used on the show,
and that we need somebody that's a pretty popular person
that has a lot of credits,
but also not somebody from too long ago
or somebody that's, you know, more of a character actor.
You understand all of that.
Do you understand that you're under oath?
Oh, he has a nice mash.
I don't want a mash.
I want one name that's going to knock my socks off.
Or it doesn't matter.
What's the name?
Sylvester Stallone.
I like it quite a great deal.
Oh, yeah.
Graham, are you comfortable with Sylvester Stallone?
Yes, I am comfortable with Sylvester Stallone. Yes, I am comfortable with Sylvester Stallone.
Now, keep in mind, fellows, that you each get one lifeline.
You can go to an audience member one time,
the audience member whose name tag you chose, for help.
You can either ask for help, like you can describe the movie to them,
or you can just say, give me a Sylvester Stallone movie.
And for my lifeline,
I'm going to go to Eddie the Eagle.
Ka-ka!
You think Eddie is up to this task?
Well, that's the interesting thing about Eddie
is he's just on that perch, and the only
thing that makes him speak is the utterance
of his own name.
And, you know, nobody
knows his name, so when I just say,
Hey, Eddie, what's up?
Not much.
I got you
on this, Doug. You'll be the wind
beneath my wings.
Alright, well we don't win anything if we win,
but it's still fun to play along.
So we're going Stallone.
I'm not even going to write these down, because I feel like
everybody knows what's up with Stallone, and we're going toone. I'm not even going to write these down because I feel like everybody knows what's up with Stallone.
And we're going to get through this swimmingly.
Starting with, as I said before,
Graham Elwood, Name a Movie,
featuring Sly and the family Stallone.
We'll just start it off, Rocky.
Okay, yeah, it's a little rough, but here we go.
Starting off, Rocky. off rocky okay yeah it's a little rough but here we go starting off rocky i'm gonna go this is going uh what are you gonna do about that mark yeah i'm gonna see his rocky and raise you at two
so what are you calling it rocky too okay we like exact titles on this show leonard
can i deviate from this pattern?
You can, but I don't understand the strategy.
Okay.
I don't want to upset the quiz master.
Rocky III.
Yes.
Rocky IV.
Rocky V.
Be careful now Rocky
Balboa
yes
deviate away
Mr. Marlton
the lords of Flatbush
oh nice
deviation
oh
as long as we're going deep, I'm going to say
Bananas.
Right.
Oh.
Those are movies?
Nope. We're just playing the
trick mark and thinking the word
is a movie. Game.
I'm going to
go with Creed.
Oh. Yeah, that's smart to go ahead and round that out.
And we're still under the Jacob Searoff rule where you cannot list upcoming movies.
Jacob Searoff makes no rules here.
But yeah, let's stay away from upcoming movies.
Stallone's got a few that are in the can, as we like to say.
Sounds fair to me.
Stallone's got a few that are in the can, as we like to say.
Sounds fair to me.
I will say Rambo First Blood.
Okay, let's take a minute.
Let's relax.
Let's take a word out of that.
Maybe the first one.
Yeah, First first blood.
Thank you.
Leonard.
Fist.
First blood.
Fist. I get it. Do you know where I got my first blood fist?
Paradise Alley.
That's not my nickname for my ass.
It's a location, you guys.
Keep it cool.
Graham? Over the Top. Oh, you guys. Keep it cool. Graham?
Over the Top.
Oh, very good.
The arm wrestling classic that we all know.
Yeah, don't finish that.
We all know.
Mark?
Great movie starring neither Lee nor Plummer, Tango and Cash.
Outstanding. Great prison shower scene. Great movie starring neither Lee nor Plummer, Tango and Cash. Ooh.
Outstanding.
Great prison shower scene.
Eddie, have you ever seen that movie?
Nope.
Sounds like you don't want to.
Is it a good scene?
I don't know about the scene.
I was just asking you about Tango and Cash.
It's a classic.
I'll put it on the list.
You have a list of movies you're going to see?
Yep.
Breaking Away, Salt.
Your list is, your queue is Breaking Away and Salt? Your list is, your cue is breaking away in salt?
I'm almost at the end of the list.
All right.
Doug, do you know how hard it is for a poor eagle to fly a Blu-ray into a player
and then fly back to the couch and hit play
and fast forward just to get to the tangango and Cash shower scene. It's a lot
of effort on a poor eagle.
And they have to make love the entire time.
There's a lot of
fucking in Tango and Cash.
Whose turn is it, Leonard?
Here we go.
Ready? Rock our world. Sylvester Stallone
in Oscar.
Yes!
Yes!
Yes! Ooh! Yes!
I got a lot of shows coming up.
Gonna be in
Tampa.
Gonna be in
Traverse City,
Michigan.
Gonna be in
Copland.
Oh, shit.
Wow, all that traveling sounds like you're one of the expendables.
Oh!
Mark, you better say what I want you to say right now.
I'm not expendable because I'm a bedrock of this nation.
I work in demolition, man.
Wow.
That's not what I wanted you to say.
Nice misdirection.
That is not what I wanted you to say.
Leonard.
I don't think I said this already.
My brain is dying.
It happens.
Yeah.
Prisoner of Second Avenue.
What?
It's like a Woody Allen.
I mean, a Neil Simon.
Yeah.
Same time as Bananas.
And he has a little part in it?
Bit parts, yeah.
Oh, that's great.
Yes.
Remind me to check in with the corrections department.
I'm going to say... Oh, you said Oscar. That was a good one.
Stop or my mom will shoot.
Oh, man, that is so The Expendables 2.
Didn't make sense.
Expendables 3, we're back to making sense.
God bless you.
Back to you, Leonard.
Do you have one, or would you like to use your lifeline?
I say use your lifeline early, is my advice.
I can remember, oddly, for Sylvester Stallone,
I can remember the plots of some films and not the title.
Oh, interesting.
Which is the one where they have to He's leading a bunch of
Well, you can discuss that with your lifeline if you'd like.
Yes, I can.
He's
Sorry, of course.
Because he needs
He's going to describe it to you and then you tell him
what it is.
Oh, you can give him a different one. Can she give you a different one, Leonard?
Absolutely.
Rhinestone.
Wow.
What the fuck?
Rhinestone.
All right.
She's a witch.
Quick story?
Yeah, I'd love a quick story.
I reviewed that movie on Entertainment Tonight.
It was early.
It was a long time ago.
It was mid-80s.
Early, long time ago.
Yep.
And I wanted to make a point of not dissing either Stallone or Dolly Parton.
They both seemed like great people.
Yeah, and it was a bad script, so it wasn't their fault.
Didn't he write it?
No, well, did he? I don't remember.
Maybe.
Anyway, he rewrote it.
A week later, one of my colleagues was covering an event for E.T.,
and she talked to Stallone a lot of times.
She said, Sly, would you come over and say something?
And he said, no, I can't.
I can't do that.
I mean, I don't mind constructive criticism.
He said, but that reviewer was vicious.
That guy, he was vicious.
That's my story about
Ryan Stein.
What was it like a one
word review? Ryan shit?
Like how vicious were you?
Did you feel you were vicious?
I absolutely was not.
Okay. How many out of
four stars would you give it?
Two. Jesus.
That's pretty vicious to me.
That is vicious.
I may give it a less.
You're calling that vicious?
All right.
So whose turn is it?
Where are we at?
Is it me?
My turn?
Oh, no wonder.
No wonder I want to stall.
I got you, Doug.
Oh, that's right. I forgot that you were there for me.
I'm the wings above your wind.
Okay. Please stop making that reference.
reference.
I forget what the interim ones were called exactly, so I'm just going to jump
right to when it was just
Rambo.
No applause?
That's cool.
I agree.
I agree. It's not that impressive.
Graham? Rambo 3.
Yeah, did that have more words in the title or just Rambo 3? I impressive. Graham? Rambo 3. Yeah.
Did that have more words in the title or just Rambo 3?
Nope.
I think it was just Rambo 3.
Rambo 3?
All right.
Good job.
I don't think they bothered.
Yeah.
They didn't bother.
Yeah.
I'll go Rambo First Blood Part 2.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's what that was called.
See, I was worried I wouldn't get that right.
Leonard?
Daylight.
Daylight.
Yes.
Of course.
That's like, why isn't The Rock remaking that
and then getting no one to come?
I'm going to say...
Adrian!
I've got to get into character.
Think of another Stallone
movie.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
I'm getting all zen on this one
because I gotta get the wording right.
Bullet to the head.
Yep.
Next reaction to that, but
I think that's what it's called.
Graham?
Can I say Creed 2, even though it's not out yet?
No.
Jacob, Searoff rule, apparently.
Oh, fuck that guy.
Oh, you're off of the Searoff.
You're off of Searoff.
Hashtag.
Graham, how's it going?
I don't want to burn my lifeline just yet But shit man
Your lifeline might not have shit
We're at a tough
We're at a turning point
There's clearly some big ones that we haven't said
Some important ones.
Some silly ones.
I just thought of one.
Shit.
All right.
Go to your lifeline.
I'm going to my lifeline.
Oh, Judge Dredd.
Judge fucking Dredd.
Nice.
That is right.
Way to go, guarded Dan.
He's wearing a Batman shirt, so you know he's good people.
Oh, I thought of another one.
Fuck off.
They go so great together, I wish I could say them right one after the other.
You guys are going to be amazed.
Eddie's going to love it.
All right, what do you got there, Mark?
I'm gonna go with a movie he gained
30 pounds for,
Copland. I said that
like a little while ago.
Then I'll say The Specialist.
How much did he gain
for that?
He got in good shape.
I just thought of another one.
Leonard, do you have another one
locked and loaded?
Doug, I don't.
And you already went to your lifeline?
Yep.
May I return to my lifeline?
No.
I know. You're a fair player and a good player.
Let's hear it for Leonard Maltin, everybody.
Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Cuckoo!
Cuckoo!
Eagle's a big fan
of Leonard Maltin. I fucking love Eddie the Eagle.
Do your double feature, Doug. You've got two titles.
I can't do the double feature because these guys
are still playing and I want to keep them
in the mix, but it's so fun.
It's such a fun.
You're not going to believe it.
But I will say instead
S. Assins.
S. Assins.
Oh yeah.
Antonio Banderas
put the S in S. Assins.
Graham.
Shit.
Shit.
Let me just do a little business.
Don't forget you tipped your way, staff.
Thank you to American Comedy Company
and everybody.
Thank you
to Eddie Eagle
and everyone for coming out tonight.
Graham, do you got one?
Yeah.
Okay, what is it? The Italian Stallion.
Oh, yes.
I think they took some
porn that he did and renamed it or something. Thanks for playing, yes. I think they took some porn that he did
and renamed it or something.
Thanks for playing, Graham.
Mark.
Doug, I'll go with...
That's a real one, though.
That was in the theaters.
What?
The Italian Stallion was a porn
that they did put in the theaters.
It is a movie he's in.
It's on his IMDb page.
I swear to God, that's not bullshit.
That was my...
Okay, all right. Graham's still in, everybody. That's on his IMDB page. I swear to God, that's not bullshit. Okay, alright. Graham's still in,
everybody. That's fucking right.
So I think a gentleman in the audience said
it ain't porn.
I don't know what that means.
Doug, I will say
Get Carter. Ooh, very good.
Very, very good. Very good. Alright, very good. Very, very good.
Very good.
All right, mine's a two-parter.
I can only do half of it right now,
but we'll see if it gets back to me
and I can say the other half.
Cobra.
Yeah.
Keep clapping, sir.
Crime's the disease.
He's the cure cure I got another
title that goes good with Cobra
Graham
Cobra 2
okay so now you're out
no Cobra 2
the snake files
why would his name is Cobra
why would he have snake files?
They go after the triad.
That was the whole thing.
And these guys with these snakes...
Why does it always have to be a triad?
Why does it have to be so racist?
I don't know.
I don't like shitty 90s action movies.
This is Cobra II, the snake files.
First of all, the film came out in the 80s.
Second of all, it's fantastic.
But the sequel came out in 92.
Oh, okay.
This fake sequel you came up with.
This fake-well.
No, it was real.
All right.
What do you got there, Mark?
Well, Doug, I'm looking at your completion as you're saying Cobra, not the snake, but
actually the Mustang.
And in the past tense, you would say, hey, man, that Cobra Mustang was driven.
Oh.
Okay, fuck you guys.
At least you could acknowledge.
That wasn't where I was at at all.
There was like 10 O's and everybody else was like, I'm not making a sound for that.
No, but just he's in two movies with the title is Natural Enemies between Cobra and Nighthawks.
I thought you're going somewhere else.
I thought you were going somewhere else. Fuck!
That a boy, Doug!
That a boy!
Fuck snakes!
I still might need you as my lifeline, Eddie. I still got you.
Okay.
Although I was going to say that one.
I bet you weren't.
You bet right.
Mark?
I think I thought of another one.
Do you have another one?
I do.
Cobra 3.
The Cobra-ing.
In honor of
France just winning the World Cup,
I will say the Prison Guard
soccer movie, Victory.
Oh, fuck! That's the dumbest movie ever.
Yes!
It's a movie about a soccer team that can escape
the Nazis, but decide
at halftime to go finish the
soccer game rather than escape
fucking Nazi Germany.
It is the goddamn dumbest movie you've ever
seen in your entire fucking life.
So Mark Ellis deserves to win
whatever he's going to win tonight for that alone.
I'm pretty sure Eddie the Eagle
would have fought the Nazis in the second half versus...
And won!
One.
All right, my answer.
Still not going to you, Eddie.
That's all right.
I got three left.
Oh, we got this.
We're going to win this.
Because I've got... I'm very excited about the next one.
I think I'm thinking what you're thinking.
Oh, so maybe we only have two then.
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2.
Caw-caw! Caw-caw! Caw-caw!
I'm down to two!
Yeah, I know, fucko. That's why I'm shaking my head Yeah I know fucko
That's why I'm shaking my head
I know it's my goddamn name tag
It's been sitting right next to me
And I realized it after I was lost
I don't need this fucko with his new rebranding hat
And beard
But thank you for showing up sir
We appreciate you buying a ticket to the program this evening.
You drove in from Temecula, dude.
It's not that far.
It's not far enough, right?
How far is it as the crow flies?
Fuck crows.
They're dirty birds.
Slow down, Eddie.
I gotta have something myself.
Look at that. I'm drinking to get fucked up today.
We're winning this game
and I'm getting a headburn.
I've created a monster.
I feel like, just like Dr. Frankenstein,
what have I done?
It's wonderful.
But insane.
All right.
Whose turn is it?
Is it my turn?
Oh, it's Mark's turn?
I think it's mine, yeah.
Go ahead, Mark.
And I'm a little shocked nobody said this movie.
Correct me if I'm wrong.
Cliffhanger.
Yes, no Cliffhanger.
You're welcome, audience.
Very good.
You like that better than Driven?
Okay.
All right, you still got your lifeline?
I do have my lifeline, yes. I got my lifeline still.
How's my lifeline feeling right now?
Yeah, how are you feeling?
I mean, as far as like, not as far as like endurance,
but like, do you guys know a Stallone movie?
You still got one?
You still got him?
Oh, wow.
Okay.
This is intense.
I thought I had a few, but now I'm like, what did I do?
Oh, this is a fun one.
You know how Hitchcock would walk through all these movies and be like...
He would play a trumpet?
He'd be all like...
And you'd be like, oh, there he is.
I recognize that music.
But Mr. Sylvester Stallone directed a motion picture.
Leonard can back me up on all of this.
In which he makes a brief cameo as a guy walking down the street
giving a funny look
to John Travolta
in Staying Alive
Staying Alive
yes, suck on that
yeah and he's wearing
like a fur coat or something like that
in the streets in Manhattan
he looks stupid
but I'd love to have him on the show if anybody knows him Yeah, and he's wearing like a fur coat or something like that in the streets in Manhattan. He looks stupid.
But I'd love to have him on the show if anybody knows him.
All right, Mark.
Yeah, I was saving that one as the ace in the hole. So now I got to go with another movie that's a pretty good team up.
Kind of like what you're seeing on stage right now.
It's a little movie starring him and Arnold Schwarzenegger called Escape Plan.
Yes.
I was thinking about that, but not knowing what it's called.
All right.
This is going to be interesting.
You got to really get into it.
Holy shit, I'm going through all of them.
We said that one, we said that other one.
We said that one.
We said so many of them.
We've just been sitting here.
We've just been saying them, Leonard.
Just been saying all these Stallone movies.
And then I've got to say one more.
And the one I'm going to go with is...
Eddie?
Yeah?
I needed you to just say the title of a Stallone film we haven't said yet.
Well, like a Nighthawk versus a Cobra cobra i'd call it a grudge match
how about i get a little sip of that glass you got there, Doug?
Yeah.
Is he drinking or doing a bong rip? I can't figure it out.
I'm on my own now, Mark, if you've got another one.
I love this part of the show because the crowd gets so quiet.
I feel like I'm playing. I got one.
You got one?
Yeah.
Ha-ba, ha-ba.
All right, I might have to rely on the Johnny Dangerously Army.
What does that mean?
To get me through my lifeline.
Okay, it's just one person.
Okay.
Don't ask an army.
Y'all shout the movie out.
Or you, sir.
Johnny.
Shout the movie out.
He just went, ma'am.
I know, I call her Johnny. It's a out. She just went, ma'am. I know.
I call her Johnny.
It's a fun thing we have.
Frankie and Johnny.
I can't remember which one was female.
Jay.
Just say the name of the movie, and then I'll vet it, and I'll answer it, and I'll love you more for it.
Spy Kids 3D.
Spy Kids 3D. Spy Kids 3D.
Was that it?
Wow!
People are going crazy with full title.
I don't know the fucking titles of Spy Kids movies.
I'm going to
accept it. I'm going to accept it on the
grounds of that was a great
lifeline pull and that Mark probably doesn't have another name,
another title.
I don't even have another...
So I'm excited that I'm about to win.
But the prizes will go to who Mark was playing for
because I'm not playing for anybody.
And, you know, I'm sure there's even a few more after this,
but I'm so excited
get up
get his ass dug
when he said the word army
yeah
I thought of sorry I wasn't looking right at you
it's alright
sorry Eddie it's hard to make eye contact
because you only have one eye looking
this way
well that's how they painted me Sorry, Eddie. It's hard to make eye contact because you only have one eye looking this way.
Well, that's how they painted me.
Army.
Yep.
Of.
Yep.
He was in.
Yep.
Ants.
Yep!
Caw-caw! Caw-caw!
That was the one Leonard just thought of
because you love animated movies,
and he, of course, was a voice.
We always have to try to remember,
oh, what animated voices have they done?
What Stallone movies did we miss?
Rocky IV.
Rocky IV?
Where the fuck have you been?
Escape Plan 2.
Escape Plan 2?
Escape Plan 2?
No, Escape Plan 2 was not theatrically released.
Death Race 2000, that's a good one.
I said Bullet to the Head.
You got Bullet to the Head, yeah.
Last Action Hero?
He was just in the cardboard cutout.
Did he actually make a cameo on the red carpet?
Bullet to the Head.
What?
Come out here and tell them. What?
Come out here and tell them.
Come on!
Come on!
Come on!
Alan Smithy Project.
Suck on it.
I'm eating fries back there.
Brian Posehn, everybody. came by for the fries.
The fries are pretty good here, aren't they, Eddie?
Yeah, they're pretty good.
They're pretty good.
Congratulations. Mark Ellis is our winner tonight.
Where's the person you were playing for there, Mark?
Come get your prizes.
It's tricky to get over here, but hopefully you'll figure it out.
Yeah, they can get their name tag back as well.
Graham, if you could pass me that name tag that you were playing for.
And Leonard's, of course, is right here.
Let's start with the great Leonard Maltin thank you for being here
what do you have to plug I don't need the winning one what do you have to plug
Leonard well my podcast which I share with my daughter Jessie yeah Jessie
Maltin shout out to her she She's here tonight. And my new book, Hooked on Hollywood.
And I'm at a bunch of panels and events this weekend at Comic-Con.
All right.
Thank you very much for being here.
And there she is for her prizes.
She wants her name tag back.
And a hug, I guess.
She wants it all.
And don't forget this.
Don't forget your pro wrestling loot
yeah
that's gonna be great
she almost left that behind
I wish I hadn't
said anything
cause
I would love
some pro wrestling loot
Mark Ellis
what do you got to plug
what's going on
well first I'll
once again thank
my lovely winner
enjoy your protein shake
book and
Viva Rock Vegas DVD I'll be back on this lovely winner. Enjoy your protein shake book and Viva Rock Vegas DVD.
I'll be back on this stage of American Comedy Company Friday night, 10 p.m.
If you all want to get tickets, just go to MarkEllisLive.com.
If you use my promo code Schmoes, it gets cheaper.
Hosting some stuff for Rotten Tomatoes.
You can subscribe to my YouTube channel, Schmoes Know.
Love you all.
Thank you guys so much for allowing me to hang out with these titans and a talking eagle.
Always great to have you. Thank you for being here.
Graham Elwood, what's up?
Promote yourself.
Seattle. I'm doing stand-up comedy in my live podcast, Political Vigilante, August 9th and 11th.
August 10th, I'll be at Pearl Jam.
And then you can get the tickets at GrahamElwood.com.
And then, of course, my podcast, Comedy Film Nerds, which Leonard Maltin is going to be the guest on next week.
Oh, how'd that come together?
Green Room Booking.
Nice.
And we're doing a Comedy Film Nerds trailer park show where we watch shitty movie trailers and make jokes and shit like that.
That's August 28th at Dynasty Typewriter in Los Angeles.
All my tour dates and everything are at GrahamElwood.com.
Graham Elwood.
Mark Ellis.
Leonard Malton.
Eddie the Eagle.
Eddie, do you have anything to plug?
Nope.
I'll be here, and I just wanted to say thanks for bringing me to life, Doug.
And if we never do it again, I'll live in your hearts forever.
Wow.
Cool!
That was beautiful.
Eddie's an old soul.
You know what I mean?
Just a beautiful old soul.
I offered him a set on my show on Friday.
Apparently he doesn't want to plug that,
but thank you, Eddie.
Well, I'll believe it when I see it.
Alright, as always,
we'll see you guys
back here Saturday afternoon at
420 if you want more
of this.
If this was satisfying.
Come back for more uh people who falsely accuse others of sexual abuse are a shithead well all right yeah fuck those false accusers real accusers only please
i don't know what to say anymore. I have to apologize for everything.
Gratuitous name-calling is a shithead.
They might not have the end theme queued up,
but I do know this.
If I get everybody to sing it,
then they'll play it right after we finish singing it so I'm torn about what to do because we
could just put it in and post I swear it's gonna come on What was that? Huh? Coco! Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you,
because Doug loves movies.