Doug Loves Movies - Leonard Maltin, Mark Ellis and Graham Elwood guest

Episode Date: July 19, 2018

Live from the American Comedy Co. in Sweet Home San Diego, Doug welcomes Leonard Maltin, Mark Ellis and Graham Elwood to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and Californi...a Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seats With 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Oh shit, I forgot about this table. It's weirdly padded. So when you put a cocktail down on it, it's all like, wibble wobble. You don't know what's going to happen with it.
Starting point is 00:00:42 But there's also already stuff up here on the table that people have brought like it's my bar mitzvah. Hey, hey, hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies. Coming to you, shush, coming to you once again from the American Comedy Company during Comic-Con
Starting point is 00:01:09 in Sweet Home San Diego. Oh, shit. We're doing it, you guys. It's Wednesday night, July 18th, 2018. Right? Preview night. People laugh when I say the date. I think, oh, am I saying it wrong?
Starting point is 00:01:33 Am I too high for this? Preview night of SDCC. Hashtag SDCC. And I would like get this, you guys. Smooth segue time. I would like to preview some you guys, smooth segue time. I would like to preview some name tags.
Starting point is 00:01:48 Oh boy. This is, I got to go right to the one that's a parody of one of my own films, Chronicon. It says Doug Benson in Kellycon. Episode 420, a new donut. Okay, you didn't change that part. But, and there's donuts flying through there. That's pretty cool. Have a nice Dane.
Starting point is 00:02:09 Daned and confused. Your name is Dane. Okay, what's your last name? Okay, good going with... Nice choice of going with Dane. Star Wars, the Larry... The Larry... The Larry Jedi.
Starting point is 00:02:31 This is just, welcome to Doug Loves Reading. Instead of Galaxy Quest, we have Galaxy Jest. See, I get that. That makes sense. And then there's
Starting point is 00:02:41 this crazy poster over here. What's the name of the movie with the, me and Graham Elwood on there? what's the name of the movie with the me and graham elwood on there what's the name of the movie susan brides for susan brothers and graham and i are dancing together like we're one of the couples in that film good job susan i saw that one on the internet there's lots of good ones it's so dark in here that like uh and i love the people that try to shine a light on their own name tag
Starting point is 00:03:07 It never fucking works It's never helpful But Thank you to everybody for bringing those And good luck to everybody Three of you as you can see I have three guest chairs Three of you will be chosen
Starting point is 00:03:23 It's always great to be back here at the American Comedy Company. It's always nice to see Eddie, the eagle. That's what I call him. That's what I call this eagle that's behind us and behind every comedian who performs here
Starting point is 00:03:39 at the American Comedy Company. It's really strong branding. We'll be sitting in front of this thing, but it'll be better lit than we are. American comedy company. It's really strong branding. Like, you know, we'll be sitting in front of this thing, but it'll be better lit than we are. And I just gotta say, I appreciate Eddie, though, because I really like everything that he represents.
Starting point is 00:03:58 How's it going, Eddie? Good. Good. good I know it's been a while since we spoke but I didn't expect you to sound like that that's the way I was born okay alright I'm sorry I didn't mean to be insulting
Starting point is 00:04:19 I appreciate all you do for America I just hold this sign here. Yeah, but it's, you know, it's really representing America and comedy and all that's great about both. Thanks, Doug. So, uh... Let me just ask you a question.
Starting point is 00:04:43 Eddie. Yeah? Okay, good. You're coming to life more here. I'm having trouble. You seem like you're sleepy. Are you tired? No, I just...
Starting point is 00:04:54 Nobody's talked to me in a long time. There's a lot of comedians just coming out and talking and not addressing you? They didn't ignore me. Does the club give you a drink or something? Could you have some water? No, nobody says nothing ever. Okay, well, because it just seems like
Starting point is 00:05:12 you're just a sign on the stage, but, you know. I'm more than a sign, I'm a symbol. Oh, that's true. You're right. Ha-caw! That's a good point you're making. Ha-caw! So, Eddie, let me ask you this. What's your favorite- Ask away, Doug.
Starting point is 00:05:31 Okay. What's your favorite football team? Of all time? Yeah. Probably the Giants. Okay, so Eddie, I was trying to... I would imagine you, of all, uh... I was gonna say people, but of all eagles...
Starting point is 00:05:52 Oh, fuck those posers. Oh, you don't... You're not into the eagles. No, they can't even fly. I know, but they just finally won a Super Bowl. Isn't that exciting? Well, so a broken clock's right one time a day. Wait, I think it's two times a day.
Starting point is 00:06:08 And what does that have to do with anything? Not if it's on military time. Oh! San Diego! San Diego! All right. Well, you represent our military in America. Thank you, Doug.
Starting point is 00:06:27 I feel so seen. I love everything. I think you should be seen. Hashtag Eagle to everybody. And do you have a favorite band? Yes. Pretty easy on that one. What's that?
Starting point is 00:06:44 The Yardbirds. Oh, okay. Okay. All right. So it's great to be back here with Eddie, but now it's time for Doug Plugs. Doug Loves Movies is back here in this very club.
Starting point is 00:07:02 Hopefully Eddie will be still alive and talking okay just you never said anything during any of my other shows so I don't know I don't know what happened did Lindsay Lohan spit on you or a magic potion fall out of Amy Adams ass yes yes okay, Eddie, yes. Okay, both those things happened, and so Eddie is with us, and it's great to have you here. But Saturday, we'll be back at 4.20 with a Comic-Con,
Starting point is 00:07:33 another Comic-Con installment with different guests than tonight. So, you know, come back. I mean, it's always a different show. If I had the same three people on every show, if I had Jeff Tate cloned And had three of them out here Every show people would be fine
Starting point is 00:07:49 Tickets are still available I think for Saturday Then Sunday I'm doing stand up at the Pioneer Center In Reno, Nevada So bring your name tags to that show Next Tuesday Douglas Movies is back At UCB Franklin in LA. Still only $7 to get in there.
Starting point is 00:08:08 And no drink minimum. And I'm doing two shows in Montreal as part of Just for Laughs. All my dates and dates are at DougLovesMovies.com That's Doug Loves Movies.com Yeah! I can't believe Eddie knew it.
Starting point is 00:08:23 And now that you said caca at the end. Eddie, sorry, I can't believe I looked the wrong way. That's okay. Yeah, Eddie, thank you for adding that. Because on the next show, people will caca at the end of that. And they'll feel so proud of themselves. That's what I'm here for, to bring pride. Yes, it's all about pride.
Starting point is 00:08:50 We're all about pride. From the corrections department, Scarlett Johansson is in Captain America First Avenger. Briefly, at the end, so there. Prize bag, we've got a, looks like a little purse kind of item that says Amazing Spider-Man on it. And let's see what's,
Starting point is 00:09:12 let's take a quick peek at what's inside. Oh, inside is Anthrax! Alright, so somebody's gonna win an empty thing. And then, and then also we have here, it says pro wrestling loot. So I think it's like a loot crate but from a pro wrestling
Starting point is 00:09:30 perspective. It says for prize box, please just mention this. Okay, I've done that. I've also got for the prize bag, if you're walking down the street in San Diego right now, they try to make you take a extra thin
Starting point is 00:09:45 entertainment weekly. So passing that along. I was at a thing and somebody gave me this. It's I am that web.org. And I talked to somebody. They gave me this yellow bottle. And so go check them out at Iamthatweb.org Bask. This is blood orange herbal tea. And it's got 25 active MGs
Starting point is 00:10:18 of CBD per sachet. Did you know a thing that the tea comes in is called a Satchit? I did not know that and I might even be saying it wrong. But wasn't it great when I had Bob Satchit on the show?
Starting point is 00:10:34 I've got a CD of mine called Smug Life, stickers for Never Not Funny and Douglas Movies, and a beautiful Christmassy peacemaker, Water Pipe. Don't call it anything else. If you call it something else, I'll say wrong because it rhymes.
Starting point is 00:10:56 So there you go. All that stuff is in the bag. And plus the stuff brought by my guest tonight. I'd say three esteemed individuals. It's Comic-Con week. So I have to have three esteemed individuals in the area of film conversation and criticism. So please give it up, everybody, for...
Starting point is 00:11:21 Who do I have tonight? It's Mark Ellis, Graham Elwood, and Leonard Maltin! Thank you! Oh, no, hang on to it. That was for you, Doug. Oh, well, thank you for very... Oh, it's for me personally?
Starting point is 00:11:57 It's not for the prize bag? Your version is in the mail. I was just showing you. All right. Let's meet them individually, starting with, directly to my left right in front of eddie it's mr leonard malton thank you one and all oh my god eddie is so excited i should just to it. Eddie, do you have any questions for the great film critic Leonard Maltin?
Starting point is 00:12:27 Leonard, where do you stand on Bird on a Wire? Did you like that one? With Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn? No, not Kurt Russell. I apologize. Mel Gibson. He is not racist. Yes, Mel Gibson. Mel Gibson and Goldie Hawn did you like that
Starting point is 00:12:46 not a lot I didn't like that no yeah we're down on that nothing further Doug okay he's he's gonna
Starting point is 00:12:53 have I established my street cred with Eddie now do you think I don't know I mean Eddie's never come to life before
Starting point is 00:13:01 so this is this is a very exciting night momentous but it's always exciting to have Leonard Maltin on the show never come to life before. So this is a very exciting night. Momentous. But it's always exciting to have Leonard Maltin on the show because, you know, you're... I don't know. How many movies do you think you're seeing a year at this point in your life?
Starting point is 00:13:17 Couple hundred. Couple hundred. Yeah. You're a bunch of failures out there. Can't even see 50 or 10. 50 or 10. My math is weird. I must say,
Starting point is 00:13:30 I must tell you, I've gotten choosier as I'm getting older. Right. Well, I, of course, have also gotten choosier. Like, to me, if a movie really wants me
Starting point is 00:13:38 to not see it, then make sure I see the trailer a lot because then I'm going to be like, I've seen it. I feel like I've seen it. Exactly. That movie, The Mountain Between Us. did you see that one no with Idris
Starting point is 00:13:48 Alba and Kate Winslet you know they fucking fall in love on a mountain you would not even believe how long they spend deciding if they're in love or not after getting off of that fucking mountain the movie just plays like an action film and it's like nope you got some time at the end son where you really have to watch some people learn what they've learned about each other on that mountain
Starting point is 00:14:12 and it turns out yes there is a mountain between them in more ways than one it's a beautiful description and you get to see a man get his leg caught in a bear trap which is always hilarious so what is it with torture there's torture in all these movies And you get to see a man get his leg caught in a bear trap, which is always hilarious. Yes. So.
Starting point is 00:14:28 What is it with torture? There's torture in all these movies now. Yeah, too much torture. Yeah, I really can't take it. Not enough little kisses, little sweet kisses. Yes. I want more movies with that and less movies with torture. Did you see Red Sparrow? I did not, but I bet there's no sweet.
Starting point is 00:14:48 Good call, Leonard! Good call! There's no sweet... Oh, look, a rat. There's no sweet kisses. No, not one. That one. Not a single one. I have not seen it. I haven't even been able to bring myself to watch it on a plane because I'm often next to someone.
Starting point is 00:15:03 You'll want to walk out, so don't do that. Okay, yes. Great advice, you guys. Don't watch a shitty movie on a plane because you might walk out. There was a theater critic when I was growing up at the New York Times named Mel
Starting point is 00:15:19 Gusso. Very good writer. And he was kind of the second string critic. But like a lot of second stringers, he was really good. Almost as good as the main guy. Why did you look at me when you said like a lot of second string critics? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. A lot of third bananas, Mark. Just a little head turn.
Starting point is 00:15:36 Like a lot of schmoes. Yeah. He had a great theory. He had a theory that any bad play and by extension any bad movie always had self-incriminating dialogue in it. So for instance he'd be watching a French farce, a really clumsy French farce and
Starting point is 00:15:53 in the middle of the interminable act two some character would say, how much longer can this go on? So ever since then I've had that in mind. Well, I just saw Mamma Mia, Here We Go Again. Oh. And if you say it with the right cadence,
Starting point is 00:16:14 that's the review of the movie. Right. Mamma Mia, Here We Go Again. Exactly. Yeah. Mamma Mia, when is enough enough? Or mama mia, that's a spicy meat bomb. So what's your review, Leonard?
Starting point is 00:16:33 I know it's coming out. It'll be in theaters tomorrow night with the preview screening. So I think you can go ahead and drop the hammer right now. Well, you know, you can take your grandmother to this movie safely. Okay, that's the last thing I want to say to anybody to excite them unless they have a grandmother
Starting point is 00:16:54 that's quite the cine-esque. I don't want to beat on it because it's an innocuous movie. Sure. But they used up all the good songs in the first movie. So this is like the second tier ABBA songs. Don't let Fernando hear you say that.
Starting point is 00:17:10 No, no, wait a minute. And so what they have to do is they have to repeat. They have to repeat. They do do-overs of the songs? Oh, yeah. Oh, that's so lame. Waterloo and Fernando and Mamma Mia. Here we go again.
Starting point is 00:17:27 Damn. All right. Well, I was kind of excited about it. I know you like musicals. I do. This might put it to the test a little bit. Okay. I love being put to the test.
Starting point is 00:17:41 I'll just sit there the whole time. It's a musical. The other thing I have to point out is if you see a poster for it anywhere, a bus ad or a poster, or even if you're in a theater and you can see the one sheets behind the window case there,
Starting point is 00:17:55 look at the photoshopping, we used to call it airbrushing, that they have done on the cast of this movie, all of whom look just great on screen sure so there's no reason to have to do this kind of retouching don't got to do it yeah they make it look all like plastic dolls yeah well yeah they flatten out their features and uh you know it's can't wait to see it i'm more excited thanks to your reviews I'm more excited to see the poster than the movie this might be an appropriate case
Starting point is 00:18:29 yeah alright I just I gotta do it every time it comes up I do it it's stupid but in the trailer for Mamma Mia when Cher shows up with her sunglasses on and it's night time and
Starting point is 00:18:43 her granddaughter, or wherever the fuck she's supposed to be, says, what are you doing here? You weren't invited. She goes, that's the best kind of party, girl. Mark Ellis is here, everybody. Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you, Doug Benson.
Starting point is 00:19:11 Thanks for being here, dude. I know you got a crazy Comic-Con schedule, a lot of stuff going on. A lot of fun stuff is going to be back here on Friday night on this very stage. Oh, well, let's talk about that. What are you going to do on this stage? A little bit of stand-up comedy, Doug. I don't know if the Eagle's going to be speaking then. Hopefully we can give him some smelling salts
Starting point is 00:19:31 and he'll be back. What do you think, Eddie? Are you into it? Can you come see his show? I'm happy to be here. Got no plans. Okay, he's got no plans because he's assigned on a comedy club stage,
Starting point is 00:19:42 so he doesn't have a lot of options. Just worried. Can I do a guest set? Oh, shit. Can he do type 5? I mean, he can. I was worried by the tone of Eagle's voice that he might be getting up there in years and the show's at 10 p.m., so I don't know if he's still going to be awake.
Starting point is 00:19:56 I'm 232, 42 years old. It's acceptable to lose count when you get to a certain age yeah I think that's fair what else you got going on at comic-con while you're here hosting the Rotten Tomatoes your opinion sucks panel with the Hard Rock every it's every day from 5 to 6 oh that sounds fun yeah it's gonna be fun a lot of fans come out y'all are welcome to show up and say what favorite controversial movie opinion you may have. You think a bad movie is really good. You think a good movie is really bad.
Starting point is 00:20:30 You can hash it out with critics and I just get to referee the whole thing. Oh, let me run one by you. I love The Godfather. I mean, isn't that crazy? I feel special. If you could put a three after that movie, we might have something. Well, I do love Godfather 3 because you know, I'm just
Starting point is 00:20:54 not that good at improvising to come up with a reason to like that movie. But thank you for being here, dude. Yeah. My lack of having a joke ended your interview. That's how that worked out. I feel like that was on me.
Starting point is 00:21:09 I failed and then moved on from you. Any improv class you take, Groundlings, UCB, they'll tell you, never yes and with a Godfather 3 joke. It's going to end poorly. Yeah, it could be trouble, but Andy Garcia? He was good in it. Co-star of Mamma Mia, here we trouble, but Andy Garcia? He was good in it.
Starting point is 00:21:27 Co-star of Mamma Mia, Here We Go Again. Andy Garcia's in that? Yeah. And they make him sing, too? Yeah, he... Oh, has he got those Pierce Brosnan pipes? I don't want to give away what I shouldn't give away. Okay, good.
Starting point is 00:21:41 Pierce Brosnan... The stars that night They were so bright But not at all Okay, thanks, Andy. We'll bring in a stunt voice. Shit, you're scaring birds, Andy. All right. Also joining us...
Starting point is 00:21:59 Wow, this is an extended mix intro. Graham Elwood is here! Hey, what's up? extended mix intro. Graham Elwood is here! Hey! What's up? Hello, San Diego. How's everybody doing in San Diego tonight? Just talking to my regular voice
Starting point is 00:22:15 for podcasting. Doug, I love how you, yes, yes, and your interview's over. Yeah, thanks for playing along. Get out. So what's going on with you, Graham? You've got some fun activities coming up here at Comic-Con?
Starting point is 00:22:36 Yes, I do have some fun activities. I'm hosting every year, along with Chris Mancini, Rick Meyers' Superhero Kung Fu Extravaganza panel tomorrow night at 8 o'clock in Hall 6A, Rick Myers, superhero kung fu extravaganza panel tomorrow night at 8 o'clock in Hall 6A, I think, where he shows new karate kung fu movies and we talk about them, and it's awesome.
Starting point is 00:22:52 Sounds super fun. It's good business. I've been doing it, I don't know, sixth year maybe doing it? Shit, no way. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, bro. That's right, dude.
Starting point is 00:23:01 That's right. It's fucking on. Okay. What do you got for the prize bag this evening? Well, Doug, I've got raw fusion plant protein. Okay, let's
Starting point is 00:23:15 start on the other end. Leonard, what do you have? So, I really think people are going to need to get ripped, and it's really good. It's gluten-free, and it's got some branched-chain amino acids on it. I know all my workout bros know what i'm talking about especially nerds um nerds are big into working out and then a copy of uh earbuds the podcasting documentary that you're in so i say get a fucking pumping workout well and then uh you know eat your protein and then watch a podcasting
Starting point is 00:23:45 documentary. Do you ever see this movie, Leonard? No. Yeah, because you're picky. Do you want to take this copy? Yeah, you want it? No, I couldn't take it away from the winner, the logical winner tonight. Yeah, that's fair. Well, I couldn't take it away from the winner, the logical winner tonight. Yeah, that's fair.
Starting point is 00:24:06 Well played, Leonard, well played. He's been handed so many DVDs over his life, he just has a stock. Oh, no, I wouldn't want to take that away from your bookshelf. That would be... That's his line for every movie he doesn't want to watch. I couldn't take it away from a fan.
Starting point is 00:24:23 Yeah, you made that movie, you should keep it, is what he says to a lot of filmmakers. Just hang on to that movie you made. I know it's expensive to get DVDs made, so you just hold on to that. That cost you $4.75. What do you got for us there, Mark Ellis? I have a movie that I cannot wait to hear if Mr. Leonard Maltin had reviewed when it was originally released in 2000. So what Rotten Tomatoes is doing every day this Comic-Con is that at the show, your opinion sucks.
Starting point is 00:24:52 If you lose a game, you get to draw a prize from the Rotten Bag. The Rotten Bag is some of the worst movies that have been made over the last 30 years. We have them in DVD form. You're Gigli's, you're Howard the Duck's, you're Rocky V's. I happen to bring... Hey, Howard have them in DVD form. You're Gigli's, you're Howard the Duck's, you're Rocky V's. I happen to bring... Hey, Howard the Duck's a classic! I was wondering if the eagle would be sensitive to Rocky V, because Rocky's
Starting point is 00:25:13 in Philly, but apparently he's a Giants fan, so he doesn't really... No. ...care about that. Doug, I brought a movie that is a shining example that you can create a shared universe and recast it entirely without losing any sort of box office clout, and that's the reason why I brought the DVD film
Starting point is 00:25:35 The Flintstones' Viva Rock Vegas. Can anybody in the crowd tell me who played Barney Rubble? You know, you don't want to start asking the crowd to yell out answers. It's probably a good idea. There's the DVD. I know. I know who it was. Let's see if the...
Starting point is 00:25:54 Eddie, do you know who it is, Eddie? Stephen Baldwin. Okay. I was going to say Andy Garcia. Mama mia. Here we go again Yabba yabba doo Oh, Leonard Maltin Last but not least
Starting point is 00:26:22 What'd you bring for us? It's been a great prize bag so far. I brought a tie-in for one of the best movies of the year, which happens to be a documentary, and it's becoming quite a hit. This is a Mr. Rogers. A Mr. Rogers pop
Starting point is 00:26:37 figure. Funko Bunko. And he's holding a little train from his Mr. Rogers show. The movie's called Won't You Be My Neighbor? And if you haven't seen it yet, it's terrific. I feel like I'm afraid I'll cry through the whole thing. You will. Okay.
Starting point is 00:26:58 Thanks, Leonard. Yeah. And also, being shameless, I brought a copy of my new book. Yes. Hooked on Hollywood. Hooked on Hollywood by Leonard Maltin. Which is a collection of articles and interviews over many decades. Going back to my teens, actually.
Starting point is 00:27:20 Wow, your teens. You were a teen interviewer. I was. That's I was not a good one right but I say whatever you do the earlier you start the better and that's awesome so thank you for bringing those things and for being here
Starting point is 00:27:35 and I'm going to ask you first maybe you already answered this question but what was the last movie you saw was it Mamma Mia 2 back fucking at it this question, but what was the last movie you saw? Was it Mamma Mia 2? Back fucking at it? Mamma Mia 2? Yeah, try to stop us.
Starting point is 00:27:57 Mamma Mia 2, what are you looking at? And every one of those subtitles fits. Right? Yeah. Well, what was the last movie you saw? Was it that one or another one?
Starting point is 00:28:08 It was that one, actually. Oh, shit. Well, what was the one you saw before that? Just before that, I saw... If you can recall. Well, that I can recall is the trick part. Yeah. That's why I'm not seeing as many movies.
Starting point is 00:28:19 Tell us about a movie you've seen, like maybe like... Well, I mean... Singing in the Rain. No, I can't talk short about Singing in the Rain. No, I can't talk short about Singing in the Rain. It's too great. Too many great things to say. There's so many things to say.
Starting point is 00:28:33 I saw the film Leave No Trace. Oh, okay. Which is really good with Ben Foster. Always great. But usually menacing. He's nice in this one no he's nice he's a he's a an overprotective father who's suffering from ptsd and he's trying to live with his his daughter off the grid completely he's he he doesn't want to deal with the government or any
Starting point is 00:29:00 government agency ever again and uh it's written and directed by Deborah Granik, who made Winter's Bone, the film that launched Jennifer Lawrence. Prior to that, a film called Down to the Bone, which made me aware of Vera Farmiga for the first time. She and her writing partner, Anne Rossellini, adapted this novel, and it's a really
Starting point is 00:29:20 moving film. Ben Foster, who I always like, is exceptionally good. The girl, I can't remember her name, I'm embarrassed to who I always like, is exceptionally good. And the girl, I can't remember her name, I'm embarrassed to say, but the girl is great too. Somebody knows it. Leave No Trace.
Starting point is 00:29:32 Good movie. Doug, could I ask the eagle how the eagle feels about a lead character who doesn't trust the government agencies anymore? Fuck Trump. Oh, wow. Okay. Eagle flying. This eagle really. Okay. Eagle flying.
Starting point is 00:29:46 This eagle really does put country before party. Hell yeah, dude! All right. I didn't expect when I started talking to an American eagle to get into it. No, dude. These feathers don't run. Okay.
Starting point is 00:30:02 All right. That's cool, man. I think there's going to be lines around the block every Douglas movies we do here from now on. People just can't wait to... Dude, the eagle fucking talked, man. I swear. I swear to God, you got to go check out the talking eagle.
Starting point is 00:30:23 He fucking doesn't say a word during anybody else. Okay, so Mark Ellis, what was the last movie you saw? Well, the last movie I saw, Doug, if I could, I'd like to try Leonard's Theory from Mamma Mia. Here we go again with the movie I saw because it is also a sequel with a subtitle. So I'm going to attempt it for you all right now. Mission Impossible Fallout? It's the last movie I saw. How'd that work out for you?
Starting point is 00:30:57 Is it too soon for you to say your opinions publicly? Of the joke I just told didn't land as well as I wanted it to. No, I'm allowed to state my opinion. It's good. It's not as good as the last two, but I thought the last two were great. I thought Ghost Protocol and Rogue Nation were fantastic
Starting point is 00:31:18 movies. This one was really good, but there's literally a scene where it's like Tom Cruise is just throwing a middle finger to everybody who makes fun of him running in movies because he runs and then he keeps running and I swear, have you seen it? And then he keeps running some more. He keeps running
Starting point is 00:31:34 some more! And it's all leading up. Who's he thinking he is, Forrest Gump? He's literally running a car. He runs a lot. And the problem for the viewers, that we all know that Tom Cruise hurt himself doing a stunt on the movie,
Starting point is 00:31:48 and this is the scene. And so as a viewer, you have this morbid fascination, like, is this the part? No, I survived, okay. And then you keep watching it, and it's like for five minutes. And you're like, just hurt your fucking ankle already! But yeah, I noticed that he ran for a long time,
Starting point is 00:32:08 but it's a good movie. It's a solid Mission Impossible film, start to finish, I can say that. You know, I think he's the hardest working man in show business and needs to dial it back a little. He gives his all so hard. Yeah, he doesn't have to jump off of something every movie. Make another Lions for Lambs that we can all just not see.
Starting point is 00:32:32 Graham Elwood. Yeah. What are you passing there? Holy shit. Goat urine. Drink it, motherfucker. Don't be a pussy. Comic-Con is crazy.
Starting point is 00:32:44 Oh, I'm sorry. It's fucking Tauntaun urine. All right. This may smell bad, kid. Yeah, but that'll keep you warm during a Hoth winter time. Nice. Nice. Nice. I literally handed you a riff to run on
Starting point is 00:33:08 and you took it. It was fucking like a baton of riffs. I ran like Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible Fallout. Ha-ka-ka! Ka-ka! Run, Forrest, run! No, again?
Starting point is 00:33:22 Didn't work twice? I feel like a castaway Wilson You're drinking goat urine I love that joke People at home Somewhere is laughing People at home Who listens to People at home.
Starting point is 00:33:47 Who listens to podcasts at home? I mean, I guess some people do, but... Yeah, they sit around and they're Philco and they turn on the fucking podcast. They get the whole family around. Oh, Douglas Movies is on. Wake up the baby. Oh.
Starting point is 00:34:03 All right, turn it off, Bert. Let the games begin! Did I ask you what last movie you saw, Wes Graham? Nope. Let's do that real quick. I saw Won't You Be My Neighbor, which is a fantastic documentary. I knew there was a reason I skipped you.
Starting point is 00:34:27 No reason to get into that again. Let's see some name tags. Gentlemen, pick who you'd like to play for tonight. Physically get that name tag from them. We've got... Eddie can fly out into the crowd and grab one
Starting point is 00:34:44 if need be. Do you see any that you like, Eddie can fly out into the crowd and grab one if need be. Do you see any that you like, Eddie? No? You don't see any that you like, Eddie? Somebody wanted coffee? Somebody ordered a coffee? Who wanted coffee? Graham?
Starting point is 00:35:01 Has Graham ordered a coffee? Who wanted coffee? Somebody wanted coffee. That's the name of my new podcast, Somebody Wanted Coffee. It's just a show about just trying to stay awake. Get through your life. Where's he going? All right, this is...
Starting point is 00:35:29 If anyone made an Iron Eagle poster, I'll pick it! Well, I was just asking you. I know a waitress was asking you questions, but which posters do you like, Eddie? I like the Force Awakens. What do you think of Galaxy Jest? Do you like, Eddie? I like the Force of Waynekins. What do you think of Galaxy Jess? Do you like that one, Galaxy Jess? That's a solid flick.
Starting point is 00:35:55 All right, we're really getting into it. Looks like Mark Ellis found something. Graham, is Graham... Did you find one, Graham? Oh, I was going to take that one. Oh, which one is he... Okay. Graham is Graham did you find one Graham oh which one is he okay alright we're good great job everybody
Starting point is 00:36:13 the listeners got to hear that name tag selection process and now they know why I put the ads there usually oh that is a nice one me and Jeff Tate alright what do you got there, Graham? I've got Guardians of the Galaxy, and it's you and I and a bunch of other people as the various
Starting point is 00:36:29 characters on the movies of the Guardians of the Galaxy. Whose name is it on the name tag? I don't know. They just did Guardians of the Galaxy, and I guess their name is... Is their name Alexi? Huh? Garda Dan. Garda Dan. Garda Danians, you dummy-ians.
Starting point is 00:36:46 Guarded Dan's. Guarded Dan's of the galaxy. All right. Well, that's fucking stupid. Yeah, sometimes they sneak them in there. Wow, I picked a dumb one. All right, do you want to trade it in for another one? No, no.
Starting point is 00:37:00 You're good? Yeah, I'm good. You're going to stick with Dan and his dummy-ian? Jesus. Guarded Dan and the fucking galaxy gan or whatever. Shit. All right, you can put it on the ground. You don't have to hold it up the whole time.
Starting point is 00:37:17 All right, I'm going to just kill it. What do you got there, Mark? Well, Doug, before Michael Keaton was an Oscar-nominated actor or Batman, he was a great comedic actor. And before that, he was a great stand-up comic. I've heard from people who were around back in the early days of the Comedy Store, he was one of the best comics that they ever saw on stage. I don't know if the Eagle ever watched Michael Keaton do stand-up back in the day,
Starting point is 00:37:39 but he's pretty good. The Eagle has had more and more things to do. Yeah, I don't think this place has been open long enough for the... This is an early Michael Keaton work called Johnny Dangerously. But the heads have been replaced. Doug Benson is on there. I see Bert Kreischer on there as well. There's some other...
Starting point is 00:37:59 It was interesting. Like, half of the people applauded for that movie. So, like, when Thanos snapped his fingers, like, all of people who like Johnny Dangerously could have been gone. Yeah, I would like to think that I randomly selected a group of people that Thanos snapped his fingers to get those last 17 tickets for my show on Friday at 10 p.m. We'll see if it works, Doug.
Starting point is 00:38:21 Right here at ACC, right, Eddie? Right. Eddie's not staying awake till Doug. Right here at ACC. Right, Eddie? Right. Eddie's not staying awake until 10. I can already tell. Eddie, the sleepy bald eagle. I do get sleepy. What do you got there, Leonard? Who are you playing for?
Starting point is 00:38:38 Well, this is Susan Brides for Susan Brothers. Yes, we talked to her earlier. Classic movie. It's my wife's we talked to her earlier. Classic movie. It's my wife's favorite movie of all time. My wife's! And my daughter's favorite movie of all time. My daughter! But somehow, Howard Keel and Jane Powell have been replaced.
Starting point is 00:39:00 By me and Graham Elwood. By you and Graham. It's beautiful. I love it. All right, let's play some games. We've established who's going to win all this great stuff. And the first thing we're going to do, this is very exciting, is a game we've played on the show for a while, but
Starting point is 00:39:26 we're bringing it back in a brand new way. Let's play Doing Lines with Eddie. A call! Doing Lines with Eddie the Eagle. I know. Eddie the Eagle is going to say a line from a motion picture. You guys just, you know,
Starting point is 00:39:41 look right here at the eagle and try to guess what movie eddie is quoting uh you can just jump in with your guesses as often as you like until uh somebody until eddie confirms that somebody's right because i don't know what eddie's gonna do i i don't even know that he was gonna make these weird noises while i was trying to to introduce the game. Are you ready? Ready, Eddie? Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:40:08 Look good, fly good. Wait, look good? You said look good, fly good? Look good, fly good. Look good, fly good. Okay. All right, Top Gun. All right, it's just something I guessed
Starting point is 00:40:21 that he's going to say before he does it. But now he's going to say a line from the movie. I literally didn't know if he said anything, but I was going to get stop guns. It does seem like a movie Eddie would like. Solid flight, boys. Ready? Here we go. Okay, okay. Sound like Mickey Mouse.
Starting point is 00:40:43 All right. Ready? Here we go. I feel like Eddie's voice keeps changing. Wasn't he an old guy? Now he's a Mouseketeer. He perked up. I'm trying to act. All right, Eddie.
Starting point is 00:40:57 Give us a line from a movie. Why are they doing this? Why are they doing this? They said when you got here, the whole thing started. Who are you? What are you? Where did you come from? I think you're the cause of all this.
Starting point is 00:41:14 I think you're evil, evil. Top gun. Why are they doing this? Godfather Part 3. Godfather Part 3. Godfather Part 3 is Leonard's guest. No. They said when you got here, the whole thing started. Who are you?
Starting point is 00:41:34 What are you? Where did you come from? I think you're the cause of all this. I think you're evil. Evil. There's no way that they made that noise after saying that. I was feeling it. Okay.
Starting point is 00:41:49 You want another one? Yeah, another line from the same movie. Okay. Okay, no audience guesses. Thank you. No guesses from the panel either. Well, but I want you to. I hope you answer.
Starting point is 00:42:04 All right. Give us another hope you answer. All right. Give us another line, Eddie. All right, here we go. Here we go, Eddie. Get yourself guns and wipe them all off the face of the earth. Get yourself guns and wipe them all off the face of the earth. Uh, tombstone? I'm not your huckleberry.
Starting point is 00:42:31 No! Oh, wow. You answered with a quote from... All right. Okay, ready? Do you have another one? Yeah. No?
Starting point is 00:42:42 Do you happen to have a pair of birds that are just friendly? The birds. It is the birds! The birds! Oh, my God. Hitchcock's the birds. Very nice. What an unusual choice for Eddie the Eagle.
Starting point is 00:42:59 As the guest Tombstone was coming out of my mouth, I was just hoping that Stone somehow was a kind of hawk or something, because i was guessing i missed it because it wasn't a bird in the title so that's i i you know kudos to you for figuring out that it has something to do with birds uh i was completely baffled by it but that means mark gets to go first in our next game and uh you guys it was a big hit in Salt Lake City. I don't know if you heard that show. But I'm so excited to do it again. It's Plummer Lee!
Starting point is 00:43:32 Plummer Lee! Plummer Lee! Leonard, this is about the films of Christopher Lee and Christopher Plummer. Plummer Lee! People confuse them. I know you know the difference. I think my whole panel knows the difference. So I'm going to say
Starting point is 00:43:51 starting with Mark, I'm going to say a movie that's got Christopher Lee or Christopher Plummer or neither. Or neither? Yes. Mark gets to guess one of those three things. If he's wrong, then we go to Graham. If he's wrong, then we go to Graham. If he's wrong, then we go to Leonard.
Starting point is 00:44:08 And as you all know, there's only three options. So if you screw this up on the first two guesses, the third person has a gimme, but they also have to remember what the first two guesses were. It's pretty hot, Boxy, back there in the green room. So good luck to everybody. This was a big hit in Salt Lake City? They fucking loved it, Leonard.
Starting point is 00:44:35 Okay. All right. How often do you tell people at dinner parties and stuff that Captain America says, what do you say to you? Name it, bitch. How often do you tell that story? Almost never.
Starting point is 00:44:52 Okay. My daughter loves telling that story. Okay, Jesse always tells it. Okay, good. Somebody in the family needs to tell that story. Some poor guy's going to be at a dinner party with Leonard
Starting point is 00:45:05 a month from now just looking at him like, is he going to do it? He's going to be like, pass the potatoes, bitch. I mean... Okay. See, nobody likes
Starting point is 00:45:17 anyone talking to you that way except for Captain America. He can get away with it. Mark? Sir? Who's in this movie? Is it Christopher Lee, Christopher Plummer, or neither? It's a film called Lock Up Your Daughters.
Starting point is 00:45:41 Oh, man. I feel like one of them is in it. And I feel like if Christopher Lee was in it, he just probably looked a little creepy as a young man. Like, Lock Up Your Daughters, it's like more of a horror movie with him. He was Dracula. Shit. Because Christopher Plummer's like a gent.
Starting point is 00:46:02 He comes strolling to town like, hey, lock up your daughters. The guy from Sound of Music's in town Let me just point out that we've got a few of these to get through We don't need to see all of your work I'm going to say, I'm going to go the horror route Christopher Lee Christopher Lee, incorrect Graham? Neither Incorrect Leonard? Far out, Christopher Lee. Christopher Lee, incorrect. Graham?
Starting point is 00:46:27 Neither. Incorrect. Leonard? Would that be Christopher Plummer, then? That is correct. Esteemed film historian Leonard Maltin knew the answer. Do you remember a movie called Lock Up Your Daughters? Is that a Hammer film? Probably.
Starting point is 00:46:45 Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I know that when you looked up when it was playing, it was at Hammer time. All right. Don't hurt him. Yes. Thank you, sir. Starting once again with Mark.
Starting point is 00:47:04 I'll be quick. Leonard has one point. Mark, a movie called The Day That Shook the World. Christopher Lee, Christopher Plummer, or neither? I'm going back to my boy Christopher Lee on that one, Doug. Okay, incorrect.
Starting point is 00:47:20 Graham. I'm going to go Christopher Plummer. That is correct. Graham is on the board That's fucking right One point for Graham One point for Leonard Thank you for being here Mark
Starting point is 00:47:33 I hope the next one's a Star Wars prequel Wow Well it does It does begin with the word star So I believe Technically you could call it a Star Wars prequel. Leonard Maltin, who's in or neither? Star Crash.
Starting point is 00:47:54 Star Crash. Is that Leonard or me going first? I think because you got a point this last time? I did. Yeah, so now it's Leonard's turn. All right. Yeah. Thanks, Mark. I'm going to guess,
Starting point is 00:48:07 and this is just a guess. Of course. Neither. No, that's not right. Let's back up the tape. Now we go to Mark. If it's a Star Wars prequel, Count Dooku is in it. Christopher
Starting point is 00:48:25 Lee. Incorrect. Graham Elwood. Well, if Christopher Plummer was in it, he would ride in on a horse, and everyone would know who he is. Doug, can I go fourth? Yeah, I'll say Christopher Plummer.
Starting point is 00:48:47 That is correct. I really had to look at it. Make sure. So who's got points now? I got two. Okay. I got one. That's all we need to know.
Starting point is 00:48:57 Graham's running away with this thing. It's Leonard's turn again though right lucky me dreamscape Christopher Plummer that is correct Leonard has two Graham has two
Starting point is 00:49:21 Mark Ellis is here didn't I get the inaugural point for hanging out? For hanging out? You get a point? Is that what you said? No, I won the point for the other thing. Yeah, yeah, that doesn't mean anything. Nor will the
Starting point is 00:49:38 point somebody wins from this. It's all just time-wasting games until the fucking white knuckler. Oh. I thought you were just going all dark, like, we're all gonna die. It doesn't matter. Eat your french fries.
Starting point is 00:49:55 The eternal darkness is coming. This prize bag will be ashes within days. Nothing you've ever done matters. Have fun. Oh, that was a lovely that was very that was like the who down in Whoville it was like let's party anyway that was awesome
Starting point is 00:50:15 okay so where are we at Mark Leonard got the last point Mark which one of those acting giants or neither participated in An American Tale, the first of the Fievel adventures? The Fievelverse. Oh, God. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:50:39 There's so much intricate things going on in the Fievelverse. You guys really need to read up on it. Doug, is this before Fievel went west? Oh, yeah. It was the prequel to Fievel Went West. Some call it the original. Damn it. I was all ready to guess Christopher Lee because him and I are like this,
Starting point is 00:51:00 but I really think somewhere in the back of my mind that Christopher Plummer did a voice in American Tail. You are on the board, sir. I love you, Kevin Spacey. I mean Christopher Plummer. Graham, which one of those dudes is in Mind Field? Mind Field. So not mine field. It's like they're having some fun with the word mine field,
Starting point is 00:51:29 but changing it to the explosions that happen in a mind field. Brain explosions. Christopher Plummer. That is correct. Maybe I said too much. Okay, so Graham has three, Leonard has two, and Mark Ellis has one. And Graham took a bow
Starting point is 00:52:00 for the one guy listening at home. No, he's a real grandstander. He's a gramstander. Should we point out that both of these wonderful actors, one alive, one no longer with us, made an extraordinary number of crappy movies. Oh, yeah. No, they both worked a lot.
Starting point is 00:52:17 This game is milkable. They worked a lot. All right, so where are we at with Minefield? Done. Yeah, I did it. I got it. Oh, you got it. All right.
Starting point is 00:52:35 That's how strong the Minefield is. Speaking of Minefields, where am I? All right. So Leonard gets to go first for, this is a real movie, Red-Blooded American Girl. Who was in that? And was it longer than 63 minutes? I'm going to guess neither.
Starting point is 00:53:02 Hmm. Provocative. No. No. No. To my recent point about their... Right. Graham?
Starting point is 00:53:17 Christopher Plummer. That's right. Ah! Okay, so since Graham has four and Leonard has two, sit this one out, Mark. We'll start with Leonard. Which one was in Rock-A-Doodle? Another animated film. Rock-A-Doodle.
Starting point is 00:53:55 Yes, yes. Doodle. Yes. A memorable title. Thank you for the clarification. Not Rock-Or-Doodle. No. Rock-A-Doodle. Yes, it's Not rock or doodle. No. Rock a doodle.
Starting point is 00:54:07 Yes, it's a very memorable doodle title. The doodle and the rocks are together. Christopher Plummer. Oh, we have a tie. No, we don't. Leonard just has three and Graham has four, so sorry about that. It felt really exciting,
Starting point is 00:54:31 because the last one was going to be Chang in Star Trek III, The Undiscovered Country. Do you want me to give my point? I can give my point to Leonard if you want, so I can watch the carnage and see. It'll still just tie it up, but what do you think it is there, Mark? I know, it's Christopher. Who played Chang? It's Christopher Plummer. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:50 He played Chang. Scarlett Johansson's just like pointing at a picture of him playing Chang, going why can't I play a trans person? And the reason is because progress. Alright, so and the reason is because progress. All right.
Starting point is 00:55:10 That was Undiscovered Country. It was a while ago and a fairly undiscovered movie. Let's play one more game. So Graham won that one. Let's hear it for Graham Elwood for winning that one. So he gets to go first in our last game tonight, and then it'll go Graham, then Mark, and then Leonard and myself,
Starting point is 00:55:32 and we're going to play Last Man Stanton, the one that I like to play along. We're going to get a name or two from the audience, and then we're going to take turns naming movies those people have been in, or that one person, if they give us a great one right out of the gate so let's see i got uh people in the audience that are supposedly here and reached out on twitter where is everett scott scp that's you right there and if we talked on the show before you've been on the show you got pulled up out of the audience. That's right. You kind of changed your look a little bit.
Starting point is 00:56:06 A little bit, yeah. You let your hair grow out. Okay. So you're well aware of a lot of the names that have been used on the show, and that we need somebody that's a pretty popular person that has a lot of credits, but also not somebody from too long ago
Starting point is 00:56:26 or somebody that's, you know, more of a character actor. You understand all of that. Do you understand that you're under oath? Oh, he has a nice mash. I don't want a mash. I want one name that's going to knock my socks off. Or it doesn't matter. What's the name?
Starting point is 00:56:54 Sylvester Stallone. I like it quite a great deal. Oh, yeah. Graham, are you comfortable with Sylvester Stallone? Yes, I am comfortable with Sylvester Stallone. Yes, I am comfortable with Sylvester Stallone. Now, keep in mind, fellows, that you each get one lifeline. You can go to an audience member one time, the audience member whose name tag you chose, for help.
Starting point is 00:57:17 You can either ask for help, like you can describe the movie to them, or you can just say, give me a Sylvester Stallone movie. And for my lifeline, I'm going to go to Eddie the Eagle. Ka-ka! You think Eddie is up to this task? Well, that's the interesting thing about Eddie is he's just on that perch, and the only
Starting point is 00:57:38 thing that makes him speak is the utterance of his own name. And, you know, nobody knows his name, so when I just say, Hey, Eddie, what's up? Not much. I got you on this, Doug. You'll be the wind
Starting point is 00:57:52 beneath my wings. Alright, well we don't win anything if we win, but it's still fun to play along. So we're going Stallone. I'm not even going to write these down, because I feel like everybody knows what's up with Stallone, and we're going toone. I'm not even going to write these down because I feel like everybody knows what's up with Stallone. And we're going to get through this swimmingly. Starting with, as I said before,
Starting point is 00:58:12 Graham Elwood, Name a Movie, featuring Sly and the family Stallone. We'll just start it off, Rocky. Okay, yeah, it's a little rough, but here we go. Starting off, Rocky. off rocky okay yeah it's a little rough but here we go starting off rocky i'm gonna go this is going uh what are you gonna do about that mark yeah i'm gonna see his rocky and raise you at two so what are you calling it rocky too okay we like exact titles on this show leonard can i deviate from this pattern? You can, but I don't understand the strategy.
Starting point is 00:58:49 Okay. I don't want to upset the quiz master. Rocky III. Yes. Rocky IV. Rocky V. Be careful now Rocky Balboa
Starting point is 00:59:10 yes deviate away Mr. Marlton the lords of Flatbush oh nice deviation oh as long as we're going deep, I'm going to say
Starting point is 00:59:26 Bananas. Right. Oh. Those are movies? Nope. We're just playing the trick mark and thinking the word is a movie. Game. I'm going to
Starting point is 00:59:42 go with Creed. Oh. Yeah, that's smart to go ahead and round that out. And we're still under the Jacob Searoff rule where you cannot list upcoming movies. Jacob Searoff makes no rules here. But yeah, let's stay away from upcoming movies. Stallone's got a few that are in the can, as we like to say. Sounds fair to me. Stallone's got a few that are in the can, as we like to say.
Starting point is 01:00:04 Sounds fair to me. I will say Rambo First Blood. Okay, let's take a minute. Let's relax. Let's take a word out of that. Maybe the first one. Yeah, First first blood. Thank you.
Starting point is 01:00:30 Leonard. Fist. First blood. Fist. I get it. Do you know where I got my first blood fist? Paradise Alley. That's not my nickname for my ass. It's a location, you guys. Keep it cool.
Starting point is 01:01:04 Graham? Over the Top. Oh, you guys. Keep it cool. Graham? Over the Top. Oh, very good. The arm wrestling classic that we all know. Yeah, don't finish that. We all know. Mark? Great movie starring neither Lee nor Plummer, Tango and Cash.
Starting point is 01:01:25 Outstanding. Great prison shower scene. Great movie starring neither Lee nor Plummer, Tango and Cash. Ooh. Outstanding. Great prison shower scene. Eddie, have you ever seen that movie? Nope. Sounds like you don't want to. Is it a good scene? I don't know about the scene.
Starting point is 01:01:48 I was just asking you about Tango and Cash. It's a classic. I'll put it on the list. You have a list of movies you're going to see? Yep. Breaking Away, Salt. Your list is, your queue is Breaking Away and Salt? Your list is, your cue is breaking away in salt? I'm almost at the end of the list.
Starting point is 01:02:13 All right. Doug, do you know how hard it is for a poor eagle to fly a Blu-ray into a player and then fly back to the couch and hit play and fast forward just to get to the tangango and Cash shower scene. It's a lot of effort on a poor eagle. And they have to make love the entire time. There's a lot of fucking in Tango and Cash.
Starting point is 01:02:34 Whose turn is it, Leonard? Here we go. Ready? Rock our world. Sylvester Stallone in Oscar. Yes! Yes! Yes! Ooh! Yes! I got a lot of shows coming up.
Starting point is 01:02:53 Gonna be in Tampa. Gonna be in Traverse City, Michigan. Gonna be in Copland. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 01:03:09 Wow, all that traveling sounds like you're one of the expendables. Oh! Mark, you better say what I want you to say right now. I'm not expendable because I'm a bedrock of this nation. I work in demolition, man. Wow. That's not what I wanted you to say. Nice misdirection.
Starting point is 01:03:35 That is not what I wanted you to say. Leonard. I don't think I said this already. My brain is dying. It happens. Yeah. Prisoner of Second Avenue. What?
Starting point is 01:03:49 It's like a Woody Allen. I mean, a Neil Simon. Yeah. Same time as Bananas. And he has a little part in it? Bit parts, yeah. Oh, that's great. Yes.
Starting point is 01:04:00 Remind me to check in with the corrections department. I'm going to say... Oh, you said Oscar. That was a good one. Stop or my mom will shoot. Oh, man, that is so The Expendables 2. Didn't make sense. Expendables 3, we're back to making sense. God bless you. Back to you, Leonard.
Starting point is 01:04:50 Do you have one, or would you like to use your lifeline? I say use your lifeline early, is my advice. I can remember, oddly, for Sylvester Stallone, I can remember the plots of some films and not the title. Oh, interesting. Which is the one where they have to He's leading a bunch of Well, you can discuss that with your lifeline if you'd like. Yes, I can.
Starting point is 01:05:12 He's Sorry, of course. Because he needs He's going to describe it to you and then you tell him what it is. Oh, you can give him a different one. Can she give you a different one, Leonard? Absolutely. Rhinestone.
Starting point is 01:05:29 Wow. What the fuck? Rhinestone. All right. She's a witch. Quick story? Yeah, I'd love a quick story. I reviewed that movie on Entertainment Tonight.
Starting point is 01:05:43 It was early. It was a long time ago. It was mid-80s. Early, long time ago. Yep. And I wanted to make a point of not dissing either Stallone or Dolly Parton. They both seemed like great people. Yeah, and it was a bad script, so it wasn't their fault.
Starting point is 01:06:00 Didn't he write it? No, well, did he? I don't remember. Maybe. Anyway, he rewrote it. A week later, one of my colleagues was covering an event for E.T., and she talked to Stallone a lot of times. She said, Sly, would you come over and say something? And he said, no, I can't.
Starting point is 01:06:16 I can't do that. I mean, I don't mind constructive criticism. He said, but that reviewer was vicious. That guy, he was vicious. That's my story about Ryan Stein. What was it like a one word review? Ryan shit?
Starting point is 01:06:34 Like how vicious were you? Did you feel you were vicious? I absolutely was not. Okay. How many out of four stars would you give it? Two. Jesus. That's pretty vicious to me. That is vicious.
Starting point is 01:06:51 I may give it a less. You're calling that vicious? All right. So whose turn is it? Where are we at? Is it me? My turn? Oh, no wonder.
Starting point is 01:07:04 No wonder I want to stall. I got you, Doug. Oh, that's right. I forgot that you were there for me. I'm the wings above your wind. Okay. Please stop making that reference. reference. I forget what the interim ones were called exactly, so I'm just going to jump right to when it was just
Starting point is 01:07:31 Rambo. No applause? That's cool. I agree. I agree. It's not that impressive. Graham? Rambo 3. Yeah, did that have more words in the title or just Rambo 3? I impressive. Graham? Rambo 3. Yeah. Did that have more words in the title or just Rambo 3?
Starting point is 01:07:47 Nope. I think it was just Rambo 3. Rambo 3? All right. Good job. I don't think they bothered. Yeah. They didn't bother.
Starting point is 01:07:52 Yeah. I'll go Rambo First Blood Part 2. Yeah. Yeah. That's what that was called. See, I was worried I wouldn't get that right. Leonard? Daylight.
Starting point is 01:08:02 Daylight. Yes. Of course. That's like, why isn't The Rock remaking that and then getting no one to come? I'm going to say... Adrian! I've got to get into character.
Starting point is 01:08:26 Think of another Stallone movie. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. I'm getting all zen on this one because I gotta get the wording right. Bullet to the head. Yep. Next reaction to that, but
Starting point is 01:08:45 I think that's what it's called. Graham? Can I say Creed 2, even though it's not out yet? No. Jacob, Searoff rule, apparently. Oh, fuck that guy. Oh, you're off of the Searoff. You're off of Searoff.
Starting point is 01:09:03 Hashtag. Graham, how's it going? I don't want to burn my lifeline just yet But shit man Your lifeline might not have shit We're at a tough We're at a turning point There's clearly some big ones that we haven't said Some important ones.
Starting point is 01:09:26 Some silly ones. I just thought of one. Shit. All right. Go to your lifeline. I'm going to my lifeline. Oh, Judge Dredd. Judge fucking Dredd.
Starting point is 01:09:41 Nice. That is right. Way to go, guarded Dan. He's wearing a Batman shirt, so you know he's good people. Oh, I thought of another one. Fuck off. They go so great together, I wish I could say them right one after the other. You guys are going to be amazed.
Starting point is 01:10:00 Eddie's going to love it. All right, what do you got there, Mark? I'm gonna go with a movie he gained 30 pounds for, Copland. I said that like a little while ago. Then I'll say The Specialist. How much did he gain
Starting point is 01:10:18 for that? He got in good shape. I just thought of another one. Leonard, do you have another one locked and loaded? Doug, I don't. And you already went to your lifeline? Yep.
Starting point is 01:10:35 May I return to my lifeline? No. I know. You're a fair player and a good player. Let's hear it for Leonard Maltin, everybody. Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Eagle's a big fan of Leonard Maltin. I fucking love Eddie the Eagle.
Starting point is 01:10:55 Do your double feature, Doug. You've got two titles. I can't do the double feature because these guys are still playing and I want to keep them in the mix, but it's so fun. It's such a fun. You're not going to believe it. But I will say instead S. Assins.
Starting point is 01:11:13 S. Assins. Oh yeah. Antonio Banderas put the S in S. Assins. Graham. Shit. Shit. Let me just do a little business.
Starting point is 01:11:41 Don't forget you tipped your way, staff. Thank you to American Comedy Company and everybody. Thank you to Eddie Eagle and everyone for coming out tonight. Graham, do you got one? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:11:58 Okay, what is it? The Italian Stallion. Oh, yes. I think they took some porn that he did and renamed it or something. Thanks for playing, yes. I think they took some porn that he did and renamed it or something. Thanks for playing, Graham. Mark. Doug, I'll go with...
Starting point is 01:12:13 That's a real one, though. That was in the theaters. What? The Italian Stallion was a porn that they did put in the theaters. It is a movie he's in. It's on his IMDb page. I swear to God, that's not bullshit.
Starting point is 01:12:23 That was my... Okay, all right. Graham's still in, everybody. That's on his IMDB page. I swear to God, that's not bullshit. Okay, alright. Graham's still in, everybody. That's fucking right. So I think a gentleman in the audience said it ain't porn. I don't know what that means. Doug, I will say Get Carter. Ooh, very good.
Starting point is 01:12:44 Very, very good. Very good. Alright, very good. Very, very good. Very good. All right, mine's a two-parter. I can only do half of it right now, but we'll see if it gets back to me and I can say the other half. Cobra. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:03 Keep clapping, sir. Crime's the disease. He's the cure cure I got another title that goes good with Cobra Graham Cobra 2 okay so now you're out no Cobra 2
Starting point is 01:13:17 the snake files why would his name is Cobra why would he have snake files? They go after the triad. That was the whole thing. And these guys with these snakes... Why does it always have to be a triad? Why does it have to be so racist?
Starting point is 01:13:33 I don't know. I don't like shitty 90s action movies. This is Cobra II, the snake files. First of all, the film came out in the 80s. Second of all, it's fantastic. But the sequel came out in 92. Oh, okay. This fake sequel you came up with.
Starting point is 01:13:50 This fake-well. No, it was real. All right. What do you got there, Mark? Well, Doug, I'm looking at your completion as you're saying Cobra, not the snake, but actually the Mustang. And in the past tense, you would say, hey, man, that Cobra Mustang was driven. Oh.
Starting point is 01:14:10 Okay, fuck you guys. At least you could acknowledge. That wasn't where I was at at all. There was like 10 O's and everybody else was like, I'm not making a sound for that. No, but just he's in two movies with the title is Natural Enemies between Cobra and Nighthawks. I thought you're going somewhere else. I thought you were going somewhere else. Fuck! That a boy, Doug!
Starting point is 01:14:47 That a boy! Fuck snakes! I still might need you as my lifeline, Eddie. I still got you. Okay. Although I was going to say that one. I bet you weren't. You bet right. Mark?
Starting point is 01:15:25 I think I thought of another one. Do you have another one? I do. Cobra 3. The Cobra-ing. In honor of France just winning the World Cup, I will say the Prison Guard
Starting point is 01:15:42 soccer movie, Victory. Oh, fuck! That's the dumbest movie ever. Yes! It's a movie about a soccer team that can escape the Nazis, but decide at halftime to go finish the soccer game rather than escape fucking Nazi Germany.
Starting point is 01:15:57 It is the goddamn dumbest movie you've ever seen in your entire fucking life. So Mark Ellis deserves to win whatever he's going to win tonight for that alone. I'm pretty sure Eddie the Eagle would have fought the Nazis in the second half versus... And won! One.
Starting point is 01:16:30 All right, my answer. Still not going to you, Eddie. That's all right. I got three left. Oh, we got this. We're going to win this. Because I've got... I'm very excited about the next one. I think I'm thinking what you're thinking.
Starting point is 01:16:51 Oh, so maybe we only have two then. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. Caw-caw! Caw-caw! Caw-caw! I'm down to two! Yeah, I know, fucko. That's why I'm shaking my head Yeah I know fucko That's why I'm shaking my head I know it's my goddamn name tag It's been sitting right next to me
Starting point is 01:17:09 And I realized it after I was lost I don't need this fucko with his new rebranding hat And beard But thank you for showing up sir We appreciate you buying a ticket to the program this evening. You drove in from Temecula, dude. It's not that far. It's not far enough, right?
Starting point is 01:17:38 How far is it as the crow flies? Fuck crows. They're dirty birds. Slow down, Eddie. I gotta have something myself. Look at that. I'm drinking to get fucked up today. We're winning this game and I'm getting a headburn.
Starting point is 01:18:11 I've created a monster. I feel like, just like Dr. Frankenstein, what have I done? It's wonderful. But insane. All right. Whose turn is it? Is it my turn?
Starting point is 01:18:30 Oh, it's Mark's turn? I think it's mine, yeah. Go ahead, Mark. And I'm a little shocked nobody said this movie. Correct me if I'm wrong. Cliffhanger. Yes, no Cliffhanger. You're welcome, audience.
Starting point is 01:18:43 Very good. You like that better than Driven? Okay. All right, you still got your lifeline? I do have my lifeline, yes. I got my lifeline still. How's my lifeline feeling right now? Yeah, how are you feeling? I mean, as far as like, not as far as like endurance,
Starting point is 01:19:02 but like, do you guys know a Stallone movie? You still got one? You still got him? Oh, wow. Okay. This is intense. I thought I had a few, but now I'm like, what did I do? Oh, this is a fun one.
Starting point is 01:19:20 You know how Hitchcock would walk through all these movies and be like... He would play a trumpet? He'd be all like... And you'd be like, oh, there he is. I recognize that music. But Mr. Sylvester Stallone directed a motion picture. Leonard can back me up on all of this. In which he makes a brief cameo as a guy walking down the street
Starting point is 01:19:49 giving a funny look to John Travolta in Staying Alive Staying Alive yes, suck on that yeah and he's wearing like a fur coat or something like that in the streets in Manhattan
Starting point is 01:20:03 he looks stupid but I'd love to have him on the show if anybody knows him Yeah, and he's wearing like a fur coat or something like that in the streets in Manhattan. He looks stupid. But I'd love to have him on the show if anybody knows him. All right, Mark. Yeah, I was saving that one as the ace in the hole. So now I got to go with another movie that's a pretty good team up. Kind of like what you're seeing on stage right now. It's a little movie starring him and Arnold Schwarzenegger called Escape Plan. Yes.
Starting point is 01:20:30 I was thinking about that, but not knowing what it's called. All right. This is going to be interesting. You got to really get into it. Holy shit, I'm going through all of them. We said that one, we said that other one. We said that one. We said so many of them.
Starting point is 01:20:56 We've just been sitting here. We've just been saying them, Leonard. Just been saying all these Stallone movies. And then I've got to say one more. And the one I'm going to go with is... Eddie? Yeah? I needed you to just say the title of a Stallone film we haven't said yet.
Starting point is 01:21:21 Well, like a Nighthawk versus a Cobra cobra i'd call it a grudge match how about i get a little sip of that glass you got there, Doug? Yeah. Is he drinking or doing a bong rip? I can't figure it out. I'm on my own now, Mark, if you've got another one. I love this part of the show because the crowd gets so quiet. I feel like I'm playing. I got one. You got one?
Starting point is 01:22:17 Yeah. Ha-ba, ha-ba. All right, I might have to rely on the Johnny Dangerously Army. What does that mean? To get me through my lifeline. Okay, it's just one person. Okay. Don't ask an army.
Starting point is 01:22:36 Y'all shout the movie out. Or you, sir. Johnny. Shout the movie out. He just went, ma'am. I know, I call her Johnny. It's a out. She just went, ma'am. I know. I call her Johnny. It's a fun thing we have.
Starting point is 01:22:50 Frankie and Johnny. I can't remember which one was female. Jay. Just say the name of the movie, and then I'll vet it, and I'll answer it, and I'll love you more for it. Spy Kids 3D. Spy Kids 3D. Spy Kids 3D. Was that it? Wow!
Starting point is 01:23:14 People are going crazy with full title. I don't know the fucking titles of Spy Kids movies. I'm going to accept it. I'm going to accept it on the grounds of that was a great lifeline pull and that Mark probably doesn't have another name, another title. I don't even have another...
Starting point is 01:23:31 So I'm excited that I'm about to win. But the prizes will go to who Mark was playing for because I'm not playing for anybody. And, you know, I'm sure there's even a few more after this, but I'm so excited get up get his ass dug when he said the word army
Starting point is 01:23:54 yeah I thought of sorry I wasn't looking right at you it's alright sorry Eddie it's hard to make eye contact because you only have one eye looking this way well that's how they painted me Sorry, Eddie. It's hard to make eye contact because you only have one eye looking this way. Well, that's how they painted me.
Starting point is 01:24:12 Army. Yep. Of. Yep. He was in. Yep. Ants. Yep!
Starting point is 01:24:18 Caw-caw! Caw-caw! That was the one Leonard just thought of because you love animated movies, and he, of course, was a voice. We always have to try to remember, oh, what animated voices have they done? What Stallone movies did we miss? Rocky IV.
Starting point is 01:24:34 Rocky IV? Where the fuck have you been? Escape Plan 2. Escape Plan 2? Escape Plan 2? No, Escape Plan 2 was not theatrically released. Death Race 2000, that's a good one. I said Bullet to the Head.
Starting point is 01:24:51 You got Bullet to the Head, yeah. Last Action Hero? He was just in the cardboard cutout. Did he actually make a cameo on the red carpet? Bullet to the Head. What? Come out here and tell them. What? Come out here and tell them.
Starting point is 01:25:14 Come on! Come on! Come on! Alan Smithy Project. Suck on it. I'm eating fries back there. Brian Posehn, everybody. came by for the fries. The fries are pretty good here, aren't they, Eddie?
Starting point is 01:25:31 Yeah, they're pretty good. They're pretty good. Congratulations. Mark Ellis is our winner tonight. Where's the person you were playing for there, Mark? Come get your prizes. It's tricky to get over here, but hopefully you'll figure it out. Yeah, they can get their name tag back as well. Graham, if you could pass me that name tag that you were playing for.
Starting point is 01:26:01 And Leonard's, of course, is right here. Let's start with the great Leonard Maltin thank you for being here what do you have to plug I don't need the winning one what do you have to plug Leonard well my podcast which I share with my daughter Jessie yeah Jessie Maltin shout out to her she She's here tonight. And my new book, Hooked on Hollywood. And I'm at a bunch of panels and events this weekend at Comic-Con. All right. Thank you very much for being here.
Starting point is 01:26:34 And there she is for her prizes. She wants her name tag back. And a hug, I guess. She wants it all. And don't forget this. Don't forget your pro wrestling loot yeah that's gonna be great
Starting point is 01:26:47 she almost left that behind I wish I hadn't said anything cause I would love some pro wrestling loot Mark Ellis what do you got to plug
Starting point is 01:26:58 what's going on well first I'll once again thank my lovely winner enjoy your protein shake book and Viva Rock Vegas DVD I'll be back on this lovely winner. Enjoy your protein shake book and Viva Rock Vegas DVD. I'll be back on this stage of American Comedy Company Friday night, 10 p.m.
Starting point is 01:27:10 If you all want to get tickets, just go to MarkEllisLive.com. If you use my promo code Schmoes, it gets cheaper. Hosting some stuff for Rotten Tomatoes. You can subscribe to my YouTube channel, Schmoes Know. Love you all. Thank you guys so much for allowing me to hang out with these titans and a talking eagle. Always great to have you. Thank you for being here. Graham Elwood, what's up?
Starting point is 01:27:31 Promote yourself. Seattle. I'm doing stand-up comedy in my live podcast, Political Vigilante, August 9th and 11th. August 10th, I'll be at Pearl Jam. And then you can get the tickets at GrahamElwood.com. And then, of course, my podcast, Comedy Film Nerds, which Leonard Maltin is going to be the guest on next week. Oh, how'd that come together? Green Room Booking. Nice.
Starting point is 01:27:56 And we're doing a Comedy Film Nerds trailer park show where we watch shitty movie trailers and make jokes and shit like that. That's August 28th at Dynasty Typewriter in Los Angeles. All my tour dates and everything are at GrahamElwood.com. Graham Elwood. Mark Ellis. Leonard Malton. Eddie the Eagle. Eddie, do you have anything to plug?
Starting point is 01:28:16 Nope. I'll be here, and I just wanted to say thanks for bringing me to life, Doug. And if we never do it again, I'll live in your hearts forever. Wow. Cool! That was beautiful. Eddie's an old soul. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:28:38 Just a beautiful old soul. I offered him a set on my show on Friday. Apparently he doesn't want to plug that, but thank you, Eddie. Well, I'll believe it when I see it. Alright, as always, we'll see you guys back here Saturday afternoon at
Starting point is 01:28:57 420 if you want more of this. If this was satisfying. Come back for more uh people who falsely accuse others of sexual abuse are a shithead well all right yeah fuck those false accusers real accusers only please i don't know what to say anymore. I have to apologize for everything. Gratuitous name-calling is a shithead. They might not have the end theme queued up, but I do know this.
Starting point is 01:29:42 If I get everybody to sing it, then they'll play it right after we finish singing it so I'm torn about what to do because we could just put it in and post I swear it's gonna come on What was that? Huh? Coco! Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you, because Doug loves movies.

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