Doug Loves Movies - Leonard Maltin, Peter Segal, "Werner Herzog," and Clare Kramer Guest
Episode Date: November 19, 2013Doug welcomes film critic Leonard Maltin, filmmakers Peter Segal and "Werner Herzog," and returning Leonard Maltin Game winner Clare Kramer to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com.../privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds
With 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Because Doug loves movies
Hey everybody!
My name is Doug and I love movies
This is Doug Lo About Movies!
It's pretty good.
Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty.
Coming to you from the UCB Theater in L.A.
on Tuesday, November 19, 2 Oceans 13.
Holy crap, I had fun in Houston and Cincinnati last weekend.
Thanks to everyone at Warehouse Live, Alamo Drafthouse, Vintage Park, and Go Bananas.
And that's the name of the comedy club.
And everyone who came to those shows, thank you as well.
I can't tell you how much it means to me.
It sounds very sincere when I read it like this.
I can't tell you how much it means to me when you support all of my various endeavors.
But it's true.
On sale now, I'm doing a stand-up for three nights
at the Improv in Irvine, California,
December 26th through 29th.
So that's probably four nights, right?
So I'll talk to the corrections department.
Also from the corrections department,
Dane Cook was in Simon Says with Dennis Rodman,
but he has a big part in that,
and he has a cameo in some action movie,
and I think I was confusing it with,
I think I thought he was in Double Team,
but he's actually in Torque.
I think that's what it is.
Nobody cares.
And FYI, the dude in Cincinnati who coughed,
he coughed the answer.
Like, he did that thing where, like, we're playing a game
and he wants to tell us an answer,
and he coughed it into his hand.
But here's the best part.
He coughed into his hand,
Cool hand, Luke!
During the Robert Redford round of the Seth Rogen game.
What an incorrect dick.
Watch for me on the Pete Holmes show tomorrow night or tonight if you're listening to it today.
Wednesday. If you're listening on Wednesday, because that's when this will come out, then watch tonight.
Time for tweet relief. Tweets about movies.
Past and future guest
Ken Jennings tweeted
the middle hour of Thor 2
induces Odin sleep
I like Odin sleep
I don't understand it
but I like it
but my favorite part of that
is the middle hour
it's not that long Ken
holy crap the prize bag
is so full of prizes
like good luck getting this home
you guys it's gonna be
a chore to take home everything
and I'm also gonna I think I'm gonna reveal
everything except for this one item
this was given to me by
let me see whose name is written on it
Angie it was her name tag
Despicable Angie.
And from Despicable Me 2, it's a fart blaster.
Yeah, and so you go like this.
Yeah, I think it's got a million different ones.
It's just like real life.
And they know two sound alike.
They're like snowflakes.
And I did that because we have a very distinguished panel tonight, and I just wanted to get that over with.
But I'll have it standing by just in case. I'd also I wouldn't mind seeing their reactions that to be
honest with you but we'll go through the rest of the prize bag with my guests
please give a big warm welcome to returning Leonard Malden game champion
Claire Kramer along with Peter Siegel Wer Werner Herzog, and Leonard Maltin. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Oh, I cannot believe
all the stuff in the prize bag.
Like, this is the first week in many weeks
where there wasn't one guest that went,
oh, shit.
As soon as I said, what do you have for the bag?
You guys all brought stuff.
And a lot, a lot of it.
So let's go through it as we introduce our guests.
Starting with first-time guest, director of many motion pictures,
some of which I wrote down on this piece of paper
because it's quite a memory game for me.
But Naked Gun, 33 and a third. Tommy Boy.
Yeah.
I could stop there.
We've won them over.
It's Peter Siegel, everybody.
He's got a motion picture
called Grudge Match
that's opening on Christmas Day.
Yeah, because there's no better day
to go watch two old guys punch each other in the face.
It stars Sylvester Stallone and Robert De Niro.
And I'm guessing you can pick up your microphone, by the way.
You're sitting there like you might never speak.
Hello.
Hi.
It works.
Have you had to do any press
junkets or anything yet for that movie?
All coming up next month. Alright, so what do you
think, just guess going into it,
what's the question everyone's going to ask you and you're
going to be totally sick of?
So, did you say
let's do a movie where it's Rocky
versus Raging Bull? What does that sound like?
Actually, it wasn't that.
The producer came to me, and it was a story of second chances with these guys.
And I actually thought that those would be the two perfect people for it.
When it broke on the internet that we were doing this, the chat rooms kind of filled up with who we think it should be.
And it was kind of gizmod because they all said the same thing.
Oh, that's good. The hard part was
actually getting the guys to do it.
Really? So you decided
on them and then had to talk them into it?
Yeah. Bob was a little easier.
Sly, not so much.
Really? Yeah. He doesn't want to fight
no more? No.
He was not so into doing a comedy. He doesn't want to fight no more? No. It was... He was not so into doing a comedy.
He had a tough time with comedies in the past,
and so...
It took quite a bit of talking into it.
You took away the original title,
Rhinestone Cowboy 2, Grudge Match.
Yes.
Dolly was unavailable.
With a colon.
Speaking of colons,
Werner Herzog
is back everybody
hello
thank you
thank you
Doug it is a pleasure
to be here once again
and in such
august company
thank you for having me
on your podcast
you know we love
having you
we love
we love your winning streaks that you go on
when you come here and play the Leonard Mullen game
because you're more of a movie buff than anyone could have imagined.
I enjoy the cinema, yes.
Yes.
And my question for you tonight is
how do you feel about taking down this pregnant woman
that will not leave the program?
taking down this pregnant woman that will not leave the program.
I feel
as if I have a great
admiration for Claire Kramer
as both a thespian
and as a player of the Leonard Maltin game,
but as
I do enjoy film
and film-related
games
such a great deal, I
must say to Claire Kramer
this evening, to bring
it on.
That's right, because Claire Kramer
is back, y'all!
Thanks, Doug.
Can you please have the baby right now
on the show? It would be so excited.
It would be great for all of us.
Who wouldn't go see Grudge Match on Christmas Day
if you gave birth right here
and the director of that film cut the cord?
It would be amazing.
Or chewed into it.
I know, that's right. That's very inappropriate.
Very inappropriate.
But I like it.
You know, they lure you into those
theaters with the promise of the movie,
but they make the money on placenta.
When are you going to make a comedy?
Other than that, don't text video.
Because that's pretty funny.
The Leonard Maltin is here!
Leonard!
Thank you, thank you.
How are you doing, Leonard?
I'm doing fine. I'm in very good company tonight.
I actually, I've met Werner Herzog before, but not on a panel.
And I once had the unique experience of watching him with his alter ego, Klaus Kinski,
years ago at the Telluride Film Festival.
It was like looking at Dean Martin
and Jerry Lewis on acid.
They were a very strange...
You're on acid or
Dean and Jerry are on acid?
I think everyone is on acid in this scenario.
I remember
that festival well and
it's nice to see you again and I continually
marvel at the human body's
ability to heal.
We're here in the midst of the onslaught, the annual parade of lemmings toward the cliff with films in hand,
so many movies being released the last six weeks of the year.
Just incredible.
I only know of one.
Yes, and that's the only one you should be concerned with.
That's appropriate.
Concerned with?
Yeah.
And that's the only one you should be concerned with.
That's appropriate.
Concerned with?
Have they thought about to maybe get a little bit of that Hobbit money,
maybe call it smog match?
But is grudge match, is it an academy contender, do you think?
Or is it more of just fun?
Maybe in my mind.
No, it's just fun.
You know, it's a crowd pleaser.
There's no Burgess Meredith character that you kill off and it's very dramatic?
Don't say too much.
There were times when Alan Arkin bugged me, but no.
Oh, I forgot he's in that.
I'll see anything he's in.
I saw Choo Choo and the Philly Flash.
Do you remember that one, Leonard?
That shows dedication.
It shows real dedication, Doug.
But we knew that.
Yeah, you have to sit through a lot of crap.
Yeah.
What would you say, Leonard, is the movie that...
I saw The Counselor.
That's like penance for a year.
That's exactly what I was going to ask you about.
What was the one movie that had Penelope Cruz in it that you just saw
that you thought was really weird?
Like, I haven't seen it yet,
but I agree with your review,
having not even seen it,
that I don't think I'll understand a minute of it.
Doug, you of all people should see The Counselor,
because it's not just a bad movie.
It's like Olympic-class bad.
It's bad in ways that can't even be conceived.
With an incredibly strong lineup of stars. Amazing cast. And Cameron Diaz. And playing actually the most interesting part she's had in a long time.
And an incredibly, phenomenally attractive cast, charismatic cast.
And it's just a train wreck from the word go.
And it's written by Cormac McCarthy, you know, one of the most celebrated novelists of our time.
And all I can think, it's his first screenplay, all I can think is that nobody had the nerve
to say to him, gee, Cormac, you know, really?
Have you seen the James Franco movie based on a Cormac McCarthy novel?
No, no, I haven't.
Oof.
It's work.
The lead guy in it really commits to it, but boy, is it rough. May I ask, Leonard, about the counselor on a scale of Baum to four stars,
which is your ratings system, what would you give this film?
Well, I don't know if Baum accurately describes it or not.
I'm still debating that very point. I really am.
So you would give it two fewer stars
than the two stars that you gave my film, Invincible?
It's a possibility.
It's a possibility.
Could happen.
It could happen.
How much attention do you pay to reviews, Peter?
Is that a thing you listen to, or do you just walk away?
I kind of walk away. I kind of walk away.
So you don't know all the shit that Leonard's talked about
your movies all these years?
Because I have some of them written down.
I'm sure you do.
50 first dates, one bad date is enough.
I just made that one up.
I'm just joking.
That's a fun movie.
No, but seriously, folks.
Is that what you were going to say?
Yeah.
All right, good.
Okay.
But yeah, it's a tough game for like,
you know, when you're a nice director
and a nice film critic,
I appreciate that both of you
are willing to sit down next to each other
and work this out.
This is your own grudge match.
Peter's been a guest in my class at USC.
What film did you guys watch that night?
Apparently it was 50 First Dates.
Perfect!
Let's just say the next day didn't go so well.
let's just say the next day didn't go so well.
What's this shirt that I'm holding here?
Oh, this is a grudge match shirt.
Which one? Yeah.
What does this mean?
That's De Niro's care.
This is a glimpse into Doug's future.
What's this shirt I'm holding here? How have I
found myself in this place? Does it have enough
holes for me?
Who brings me my food?
More cereal,
please.
Whoever it is. It says
Kid McDonald on it.
That's one of the two guys, I assume? Yeah, that's
De Niro's character. And then we have,
do we have another shirt for the other character?
Yep, the Sly character.
I'm jealous.
That is great.
Yeah.
What's his name?
Razor Sharp.
Oh, man.
Razor Sharp.
Is that the shirt of Sylvester Stallone's character?
Yeah.
Is his name Razor, and is it short for Razoretti?
Or is his last name Sharp, and it's short for Sharpay?
The skin's a little tighter, but yeah, you're in the ballpark.
What's his real name in it?
Is it Razoretti?
No, it's Henry.
Henry.
Good call, going with Razor Eddie? No, it's Henry. Good call
going with Razor Sharp then.
Or he could have gone with O. Henry.
That would have been a cool fighter name.
There's a
pin in the prize bag from the Traverse
City Film Festival, because I like to
go to that, and Leonard's
latest offering,
the 2014
Guide to Movies,
Movie Guide, the Modern
Era, you're calling it.
Because we have a sequel, we have a
spinoff book called the Classic Movie Guide.
So none of those
stupid old movies
are in here? The good old movies
are in here. Real classics. But there was just no more room to keep all. Stupid old movies are in here? The good old movies are in here. Yeah, okay.
Real classics.
Okay.
But there was just no more room to keep all of the old movies in, so we've got a separate book.
Speaking of classics, you brought a copy, the two-disc special edition of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.
Yeah.
Yeah, amazing movie.
Yep.
Thank you for bringing that.
You're welcome.
And Claire, what did you bring to this celebration today?
Well, that's fortune cookies Which, how many of them are there in here?
I don't know, I think I fit like four or five in there
Well, because if there's four of them in here
I say we all open one
And see who's going to win tonight
Based on what happens with your fortune.
I'll open one too, see how it goes for me.
And the winner tonight will get the empty container.
That's perfect, Doc.
Yeah, you get an empty carton
that we all ate fortune cookies out of.
This is never going to happen again.
I'll even put my fortune cookie wrapper in the bag
because I'm not a litter bug.
This is like the first Thanksgiving.
Okay.
Okay, Leonard, you go first.
What does yours say?
Okay.
Avoid being on panels with Werner Herzog.
In bed.
That makes sense.
It makes sense.
Sound advice.
Yeah.
You don't really want to know
what it says here.
I do really want to know.
Don't you think it foretells something?
It says,
admire those who succeed
and learn from their success.
Yeah, so that's saying
that you're not going to win tonight,
but you might pick up some tips from the other players.
And we knew all that going in.
Yeah.
Peter, what have you got?
Use your talents.
That's what they're intended for.
Grudge match.
Christmas.
See ya.
You might want to call down
Warner Brothers and be like,
hey, I got a tagline for the movie.
Right here in this fortune.
Works.
Claire, what is your say?
The funny thing about mine is it's two sentences.
Remember three months from this date.
Good things are in store for you.
Three months from this date?
Oh, no.
This pregnancy's getting dragged
out. It's getting absurd.
Very unfortunate.
Is there an opposite of a preemie?
Is there a longie?
A post-me?
A longie?
A post-me?
Werner, what do you got going there?
After the verbose detour that Claire's fortune took,
the fortunes have resumed their bossy tone.
And my fortune is not so much a prediction
as an admonishment to do something.
It orders me
to take a trip with a friend.
And so you must.
And so I must.
Our honor compels me, as does
China.
I feel as if
everyone in this room is a friend
and we are all on a trip together in a big station wagon going to death.
That's funny you say that because I brought a high school musical punch ball for the prize bag.
And Claire brought a Survivor crew shirt.
I don't know how she gets a hold of one of those.
You never know. I don't know what that has to do with anything.
And a special edition version of Carrie,
you know, the good one.
I haven't seen
the new one, but
the girl's a little too cute to be Carrie.
What's this? That's a sticker
for Geek Nation. Okay.
Just to throw in there. Yeah, Geek Nation's your thing, right?
Gateway Doug and Werner Herzog
brought a very special,
fancy...
I like that, too.
Yes, I've brought a blank book
because it is,
to me, it is a perfect
symbol of life
because it is the most thoughtless gift
anyone can ever give.
And it reminds us
that everything is futile.
Hey, take the time to write something down that nobody's
going to look at.
I like it. Enjoy keeping a
journal for four weeks.
Oh, and Peter also brought a poster for a grudge match as well.
Nice.
Yeah.
That I would take out of the container, but it is so sealed up tight.
It is.
It is ready for you.
If you're going on an underwater adventure after you win tonight, this poster is going to be safe.
It's nestled in there.
Yeah, and my fortune says you will be spending some time on the water soon.
Ooh.
Yes, and I just found out today.
Then you can have my poster with you.
I just found out today that I am going to star in Life of Pi 2.
Ooh.
It's kind of a different approach.
I eat the tiger.
So
I blow some
indica in his face. He passes out. I eat
him.
You guys been to the movies lately?
We're running out of time for this.
Look it. Leonard brought a list.
This is like, you look like a rock
star with your set list.
My set list?
Yeah, because all bands play songs like Enough Said and Fruitvale Station.
That's your list of, do you have a top ten already?
No, I don't.
I was trying to putter away one today.
Because you have to make one, right?
Eventually.
And I've just seen so much lately,
and I'm trying to sort my thoughts while it's still fresh.
What have you seen for me lately, as Janet Jackson might say?
Well, Nebraska, wonderful movie.
I just saw that last night.
I liked it quite a bit.
And, you know, I got to see it a second time,
which I rarely get to do,
but Alexander Payne was kind enough to come to my class,
so I watched it a second time with my students
and I liked it
so much more the second time
I liked it fine the first time
but it's a slow movie, it's a deliberately slow movie
takes its time, very leisurely
not at all boring
great characters, great faces
great faces all through the movie
it's a face movie
but somehow watching it the second time I knew exactly where it was headed Great characters, great faces, great faces all through the movie. It's a face movie.
But somehow, watching it the second time,
I knew exactly where it was headed and what was going to go on,
and I just savored it more, enjoyed everything about it.
That is how I experienced human centipede. Peter, have you had time to go to the movies lately?
Yes.
I actually saw Fruitvale Station,
which I thoroughly enjoyed,
and most recently, Gravity.
It's so fun. Wait, what?
Gravity.
Oh, yeah, that's a good one, too.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, two of the biggest laugh riots of the year.
Exactly.
You're going to be competing against them in the comedy awards if there is such a thing.
Yeah.
And Claire, what about you?
Have you been to the motion pictures?
Well, I had a VOD week again.
Sure.
Since.
Just trying to, just what movie's going to induce labor for one of the most famous VOD
weeks?
I would make a horrible critic because I love all movies.
Do you love them
when you're not pregnant?
I love movies all the time.
VOD is weird because
it's hard for me to hate a movie on VOD.
Of course.
I'm just sitting there watching it.
I'm just like, hey, good for them.
They did it. They got it here.
You can do whatever you want.
I re-watched Captain America, which was great. They did it. They got it here. You can do whatever you want. So I watched the interns.
I re-watched Captain America, which was great.
I introduced my kids to the first Lord of the Rings this week.
And I watched Bad Teacher.
That's an eclectic group.
Yeah.
Glad you didn't get a couple of those mixed up for the kids.
Yeah.
Well, actually, the kids watched all of those, too.
I'm a terrible parent.
But you know what?
I read somewhere that you really shouldn't show your kids something that you wouldn't watch yourself.
So they don't watch Disney or Nickelodeon or anything like that.
They watch real movies.
How old are your kids?
Five, three, and one.
Let me ask, how did the one-year-old enjoy the Niles School?
It went over well.
Okay, Werner,
I have to ask, can't leave you out.
Have you been to the movies lately?
I have not been catching up on video.
I watched the first 10 minutes of Up,
but then it lost my interest after that. LAUGHTER
Once things start to perk up a little bit,
people seem happier.
Shut it down.
I didn't care for the balloons.
Once he went up, you were done.
You must like most of Finding Nemo
because he's lost most of the time, right?
It's an almost perfect film.
Let the game begin!
Gentlemen and pregnant lady,
this is the time of the show where I ask you to select a name tag from someone in the audience.
Lots of creative ones.
I thought that guy was forcing it on you, Claire.
If I run it at her, she's not going anywhere.
He saw me eyeing him earlier.
Okay, cool.
So, Peter, if you could just go take it from the person you'd like to play for.
Somebody who's done something that you
find creatively
interesting. And while you
guys do that, we'll do this. We'll be right back.
And we're
back!
Who are you playing for, Mr.
Malton? I'm playing for That Darn Pat.
That Darn Pat?
Here, hold it up next to your face there.
I'll make a little vine of you holding it up.
Oh, sure.
There you go.
It's That Darn Pat.
So that's based on That Darn Cat movie.
And you and I, of course, remember that.
That's a pretty old movie.
Well, they did remake it, which we're trying to forget.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
with Christina Ricci?
Yeah.
We're talking about
the original That Dark Cat.
Yeah, the original, amazing,
you won't believe
how long and boring it is,
That Dark Cat.
But it does have charms.
It does have charms.
I won't deny that.
Peter, what's that thing
you got going on?
It's kind of a wire bird's nest, and
it spoke to me. Monty Python
and the Holy Grail, so I don't know
who the person is behind it. Must be Monty.
But it says... It's Chris.
Okay. You know,
Monty Python and the Holy Grail Chris.
Now, Chris, what does Tea Party
Toys...
Don't read that yet.
You fell for it. Oops.
Her consolation prize if she loses party toys. Oh, wait. Don't read that yet. Don't read that yet. Okay, sorry. You fell for it. Oops. Sorry.
Her consolation prize
if she loses is,
or if you lose,
I should say,
but there are no losers here,
only the worst winners.
But if you do lose tonight,
then I will name
whoever she wants
as a shithead.
And it sounded like
she's got some
political issues. She's got some political issues.
She's got a grudge.
We'll see if we hear the rest of that later on in the show.
If you win, of course, we won't hear it.
It may refer to actual tea parties.
Have you been to one lately? They're awful.
There's no alcohol.
I've started saying I'm busy.
Who are you playing for, Claire?
I'm playing for Jonathan.
I'm playing for Lorraine,
and she has us a name tag,
an adorable little bear,
which reminds me of the horrible mutilation
of Timothy Treadwell.
It spoke to you.
It spoke to me. It spoke to me.
When I look at this cuddly toy,
I see a man being torn limb from limb.
No, sense memory.
Block it out.
Alright, well since
Claire is our returning champion,
she gets to go first.
And then we'll move to
Peter and Leonard
and then over to
Werner because he's the best
and
I would like, I would enjoy watching him
see if it doesn't get over to him
I mean he's no
Sam Levine but he will get upset
and your options for category Claire are the spectacular now, he's no Sam Levine, but he will get upset.
And your options for Category Claire are The Spectacular Now.
That's movies that are in theaters now that Rotten Tomatoes gave over 80%. Not that Rotten Tomatoes gives it.
They add it up and then announce it.
At The Maddie 3 suggested Ask Backwards.
And that's movies where the story is told out of order.
So that's a lot of movies,
but it narrows it down a little bit.
And Roe vs. Wade, a classic category,
and that's a movie where one or more people are lost at sea.
Okay.
Which one of those would you like to play?
I'm going to go Roe vs. Wade.
Yeah, right?
It's about time somebody picked this
category.
People shy away from that category.
Yeah, well, you're going to find out why in a second.
I'm sure I will.
Three and a half stars from Mr. Malton
for this movie from 1944.
He calls this movie
Penetrating.
Is this porn?
What's going on?
And he also says that it is adapted from a great novelist's original story.
And remade in 1993.
And he lists nine names.
I like saying that right in front of you.
He lists.
He.
This gentleman to my left.
That one guy.
Picked nine actors from the cast of this movie.
How many names do you think you can name it in, Claire?
Nine.
She's going right out of the gate, Pete, with all the names.
So you can bid eight names or you can ask her to name it.
I'm going to go eight. Smart.
Yeah.
Leonard.
First of all, you wrote that shit.
Yeah, I know.
I know.
I'm never bold or daring,
but I'm going to be bold and daring.
I'm going to say zero.
Oh!
Go for it.
What is Werner going to do now?
I feel as if
I can name that movie
in negative one names.
I wanted to see if you would giggle at that.
And I was right
that you would not.
The rest of the panel
enjoyed it more.
Negative one, Claire.
So that means he's going to name the movie
and the lead actor or actress.
We just call them actors
if we're talking about both.
Name it.
I believe the movie is
Alfred Hitchcock's Lifeboat
and the actor is Tallulah Bankhead.
Leonard is nodding because that is correct.
I knew you were the man to bring down this pregnant monster,
this unstoppable force of humanity.
From Big Ass
Spider in theaters and on VOD.
What was that remade in 93?
I have a historical question.
Has the name Tallulah Bank
had ever been uttered on Doug Love's movies before?
I don't think so. That's the first.
Yeah, and it was the first shot at all
these other names to be mentioned,
except for Hume Cronin, who came up when we did Cocoon.
Right.
So, yeah, that's impressive.
Warner.
In both of your cases.
And the 1993 TV movie was called Life Pod.
Oh, a TV movie.
Okay.
I am just as incredulous as that fellow in the audience
who just yelled out.
That guy, if you could settle down, sir.
Please have an usher escort this gentleman
to the lobby.
No, no, no, don't do that.
Don't do that.
They could stay.
He's been warned.
What sort of...
What sort of circumstance
led these people to be in a life pod?
Was it set in the future?
And was everyone wearing matching jumpsuits?
I don't know, and I don't know.
Next up,
Werner's on the board at one point.
He was challenged
or
yeah
Claire challenged him
so that means
I couldn't go two actors deep
I just couldn't do it
Nor can I
That means it's Leonard
and Peter
We're not involved
in that skirmish
We're going to start
with Leonard
and then go to Peter
So you're both
going to have to play
Alright
Your category options
Leonard are It's Allison Janney's birthday today Great actress Love her so you're both going to have to play. All right. Your category options, Leonard, are
it's Allison Janney's birthday today.
Great actress.
Love her.
She's in The Way Way Back.
Is that on your list of the year, Leonard?
Yes, it is.
Yeah, there you go.
Ah.
Yeah.
I know what he likes.
Is short-term 12 on your list?
It better be.
I can see it right there but yes
why are we getting so much uh jimmy can you help us out with the uh
the mics aren't close to each other um so alice alice and jenny movies right or uh rock bottom
which is dwayne johnson movies that you gave less than two stars. I like that one.
And less miserables,
which is
movies that have
either the word happy, fun, or joy
in the title.
I'm going for that one.
You are? Yeah. Alright, good luck,
club.
Three stars from you. three stars
from you
for this movie
that has
it's from
2008
it's got one of those three words in the title
what were the three options happy fun or joy
so my good luck
club joke didn't make any sense.
This movie is from 2008.
And you said that it's about a school teacher.
And that it's more of a character study than a story.
And you listed 11 names.
How many names do you think you can get it in?
11.
Not feeling bold and daring on this one. All right, okay.
Peter?
I'm going to say I can do it in four.
Oh, my.
I've never heard of such a thing.
It's crazy.
Claire, what are you going to do with that?
I'm going to say name it.
Yeah, you are.
It's the kind of player she is.
All right.
So, Peter, this has happy, fun, or joy in the title.
It's from 2008.
And it's about a school teacher, and it's more of a character study than a story,
and your four names are
Karina Fernandez,
the great Karina Fernandez,
Fernandez,
Sylvestra Latuzel,
not to be confused with sylvestris talone
sarah niles and katie o'flynn
i believe i'm fucked
you could guess a movie that has one of those three words in the title.
Happy, fun, or joy.
I was hoping it was happy endings,
but I know you didn't mention, I believe Tom Arnold was in that.
Sure.
Yeah, that was my guess.
You worked with him a lot, right?
A little bit, yeah.
It's hard to not think of anything but him.
But this is a
British film by a filmmaker
that I know Leonard admires a great deal
named Mike Lee.
And it's called Happy Go Lucky.
Happy Go Lucky, yeah.
That's a tough one.
This has been a tough show so far.
But Claire is on the board. Yeah, that's a tough one. This has been a tough show so far, but Claire is on the board.
Yeah.
I brought Werner in
to bring her down, and she's right there
alongside him. So this is
quite an
exciting matchup. And
I believe, who challenged
who there?
Claire Kramer
challenged Peter Siegel.
That's correct.
I did.
Nice.
So that means
we're going to
start with Leonard again
and then go to
Oh great.
Go to Werner.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We shot a zoo.
That's movies
that have hunting in them.
At Citizen Schwartz
suggested
it puts the motion in the casket.
Oh, yeah.
Or the more proper way to say it is
it puts the motion in the casket.
Or gets the hose again.
Not Clarice.
I don't think that character
ever refers to her by name.
When he opens the door,
are you Clarice?
Hello.
An extremely condensed version of the film.
That was the film.
All of the characters are on screen
at the exact same time.
She saw the version that was edited for one-year-olds.
It was the cliff notes.
So it puts the motion in the casket.
Movies where vampires have sex.
One or more vampires have sex.
And finally, The Liberty Bell.
Might be two vampires having sex with each other.
You know what I mean.
Some of these more recent vampire movies that get it on with people.
It's always sad, the movies where only one vampire has sex.
It's always sad, the movies where only one vampire has sex.
And the Liberty Bell is motion pictures that have someone doing crack.
You thought it'd be movies with someone who has AIDS, but no.
I wrote this category down.
We did this category back in Philadelphia months ago.
Which one of those would you like to play?
We Shot a Zoo.
Okay.
This movie's got hunting in it,
so that lady from PETA just took off.
I've been waiting for her to get the fuck out the whole time.
Would you like a movie with hunting in it from 1995 or 1996?
I know,
you're a terrible years,
I'm terrible years.
There's not much
of a distinction for us.
Yeah, yeah.
Kind of a Sophie's choice there.
I'll take 1995.
Sophie only wishes
she had to choose
between two hunting movies two stars from Leonard
you
I forget you're here
you're so unassuming
1995
you call this movie a sloppy assemblage of gags.
Yeah.
And you also say that there is a clever opening spoof of Cliffhanger.
Yeah.
I love that you still don't know what this is that you thought that opening
spoof was pretty clever at the time at the time you were probably cliffhanger angry at the time
18 18 years ago you're probably cliff angry right and you listed seven names
and i have a feeling you're going to take them all.
You have that feeling for a good reason.
Yes, I will take them all.
Seven names, he says.
Seven names.
18 years ago.
Werner?
I will take six names 18 years ago.
Claire? Name it. I will take six names 18 years ago. Claire.
Name it.
Apologies to Peter and Leonard
because this is going to determine the win.
What happens here.
How many names do you get, dude?
Six.
Is he lying, Claire?
He's not.
Okay.
Your six names.
And I have to remind you
sometimes,
it may not necessarily
be a movie that has
any reason for me
to say this,
but we need an exact title.
And your six names are
Tommy Davidson,
Tommy Davidson.
Tommy Davidson is in the audience.
Hello, Tommy.
It's a pleasure to see you.
It rang a bell.
Sophie Okonedo.
Bob Gunton.
Maynard Zazaya.
Izashi.
Doesn't matter.
You don't know Maynard.
Simon Callow and Ian
McNeese
leaving one name
from 1995
has hunting in it.
If you don't do this, Werner,
Claire is going to be back.
This is particularly galling
because I know that this film has
a colon in the title, which is
as everyone knows,
I
adore films with punctuation
in them.
I know that it is a sequel
to the film Ace Ventura Pet
Detective, but
the second half
of the title,
I am sorry to say, eludes
me. I'm going
to take a
guess and say,
take a guess, please.
There's hunting in it.
Yes, I realize
there's hunting in the film.
It's a clue.
Ace Ventura 2,
Back to the Jungle.
You know, you're so far off,
you might as well have just said Port of Orleans.
Just to get another plug in for your film.
You're right about what it is.
Jim Carrey was the lead actor, but it was called Ace Ventura, When Nature Calls.
Ah!
Yeah, so Claire Kramer wins again!
Woo!
And we're
only two minutes over, so that's exciting.
Apologies, nonetheless,
to pull your hands together.
Werner, does the teddy bear
have a name tag on the back? It's on the
front. Oh, perfect. Just toss
it over here and
I will be ready to name these.
Anything to plug
you guys? Let's start with Leonard.
What do you got to plug? The book
is out. Leonard Maltin's movie guide,
what we like to call in my household, the perfect stocking
stuffer.
If you have an industrial strength
stocking. And I've started
a YouTube channel, which is a big new
adventure in my life. So I hope people
will check that out. What's your YouTube channel called?
Slash Leonard Maltin? Slash Leonard Maltin, yeah.
Mine's called Slash Doug Benson.
No kidding? Yeah. How's that working out?
I think we're both good at
naming things.
I love the idea that in Leonard's household at Christmas time,
they are all giving each other the Leonard Martin movie card.
Everybody gets one.
It's an all play.
Okay.
Peter, grudge match.
Christmas Day.
Christmas Day.
And you're working on your next film?
Yes.
IMDb says it's a remake of Harvey?
Maybe.
Maybe?
Yeah.
Oh, that's how early IMDb gets their hands on it?
When it's just a maybe?
Yeah.
Occasionally, IMDb is not accurate.
It's so crazy how that works.
So you're doing that or something else?
Yeah.
Okay.
So let's worry about Grudge Match for now.
And then maybe it'll be Grudge Match 2.
Maybe.
Grudge Match 2, the clumps.
Claire, big ass spider.
Big ass spider.
Big ass baby.
In theaters, big ass baby.
Big ass Leonard Maltin winner.
Coming strong.
Killing it.
Yeah. She can't lose at this game. I am super excited
to see Grudge Match. It's on my list
and I'm super down
with it. Yeah, yeah. A newborn will love it.
Yeah.
It's a perfect family movie.
I can't wait for you to ruin that movie
for so many people.
And go to geeknation.com,
my website,
because we're having
a $10,000 video contest
right now.
The entry's opened
on the 15th
and you can enter
up until December 31st.
And you make a video
and you can win 10 grand?
Yeah, it's a 60-second video.
Make it with your cell phone,
your iPad,
and it's pretty cool, so check it out.
GeekNation.com.
$10,000 for someone.
Maybe one of you.
Not me.
All right.
I can't enter.
Well, you know, tell us more about it next week.
I'll let you know how it's going.
Yeah.
Bring it up again.
And Werner, what do you got going on?
Oh, and did you notice that your teddy bear was missing an eye?
I did not, but that is a wonderful detail.
I thought you'd like it.
What's going on?
I would like to plug something that is not my own, but someone else's.
Something that is not my own, but someone else's.
And I must preface this by saying everything that I say will sound as if it is made up, but it is not.
All right, here we go.
There is a new television network called Fusion, which targets as its demographic second generation Latinos and millennialsials 18-34 on Friday nights at 9.30pm they have a show called
No! You Shut Up!
that is hosted by a comedian
named Paul F. Tompkins
it's good anyway.
It features him as the host having a political roundtable discussion
with four puppets from the Henson Company.
And what I love about it is that the delicious feeling of indecision I have
between wanting to see humankind succeed against nature,
but also loving how against nature puppets are.
So watch that, everybody.
And thank you to all of my guests.
Let's hear it for him.
Bernard, Claire, Peter, and Leonard.
my guests. Let's hear it for them. Bernard, Claire, Peter, and Leonard.
I'm going to be on the Weezer cruise in February. You can win a cabin for two right here in the audience December 10th. And as always,
this is really a tough one to decide. Wait, did I get all of them?
I got the thing and the thing.
Where? Oh yeah, there it is.
Okay, we'll read that one first.
As always, Mikey Heller is a shithead.
Yeah, of course he is.
Dominic Pendergrass
is a shithead.
Sounds like a lot of personal stuff
going on. Yeah, this one's a little bit more. is a shithead? Sounds like a lot of personal stuff. A lot of vendettas.
Going on, yeah.
This one's a little bit more.
Tea party toys
that look like
real dessert treats.
So that's not political at all.
That's why I won't go
to those parties anymore.
It's a shithead