Doug Loves Movies - Live in Philly
Episode Date: May 16, 2011Recorded live at Helium Comedy Club in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania on May 17th, 2011. Preston and Steve, Nikki Glaser, and Graham Elwood guest.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy ...and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby sticky seeds
With 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Just Doug loves movies Yeah! Hey everybody
My name is Doug and I love movies
This is a special boner edition
of Doug Loves Movies
live in Philadelphia!
Philadelphia!
We are in front of a living, breathing audience
of Wawa customers
at Helium Comedy Club
on Sansom in downtown
downtown
Philly. Come on
down if you're listening right now and we'll
all be gone.
Because this is going to
plop a few days from now.
But Helium is a great club.
Check it out if you're in the Areola.
I actually wrote that down.
Check it out if you're in the Areola.
It's Tuesday, May 17th, 2 Oceans 11.
Had a great time here in Philadelphia last night
here at this very club, Helium.
Graham Elwood was here,
and we played the Leonard Maltin game
with people from the audience.
And a dude named Kyle, I think it was Kyle,
he got Thor in five names.
So that was exciting.
So that was exciting.
On the flight out here, I saw The Dilemma.
And all I could say about The Dilemma is that whatever Ron Howard and Vince Vaughn do next,
like whatever movies they make next, those will be better.
It's only up for those two guys from The Dilemma.
I think they're both amazingly talented
and I look forward to whatever they're going to do next.
Just really quickly, I want to check my...
Oh, shit.
Got to get the precious notes.
I want to check my iPhone really quick Because
People in the audience
Twitter about coming to the show
And I like to call them out on it
And just point out things that people are saying
So let me just pull this up real quick
Yeah, real quick.
Yeah, real quick.
It's kind of like a basement in here at Helium,
so reception isn't amazing.
Okay, let's see what people are writing.
When the fuck is the show going to start?
Hurry up, Doug Benson.
I've waited two months.
I can't wait another five minutes until the show starts.
That was written by Dutch of Kush.
Is that you?
That's him right there.
Dutch of Kush.
That is a great Twitter handle.
That's like saying, let's go on a weed date and i'll pay for half you're the you're the dutch of kush
uh let's see uh someone in the audience wrote please pick us i don't pick who the people play
for in the letter malton game i take myself I don't pick who the people play for in the Leonard Maltin game.
I take myself out of the equation on that.
So hopefully your name tags will entertain the guests.
That was written by Meg Philly 23, who is, I'm guessing her name is Meg,
and she lives here in Philadelphia.
And she's 23 now or when she started her Twitter account.
And she's 23 now or when she started her Twitter account.
Some guy named WalkingDude125,
because a lot of dudes aren't walking,
wrote, seeing Doug Benson's live podcast taping in Philly,
let's hope they do a dramatic staging of the classic Philly movie, The Happening.
Well, I'll do a little something from it.
I'll give you a little taste of The Happening.
It's the trees.
Alright, let's see if there's any other good ones here.
Mixed in with just people from all over the country
saying dumb shit to me.
Oh, some poor girl wrote,
too broke to make it to Philly.
Next time I'll come to your show.
Yeah.
It's a sad story.
First, oh, who's M. Poppock?
Woo-hoo-hoo!
M. Poppock wrote,
first time at a comedy club.
I thoroughly expect Doug Benson to tear it up tonight.
Can't wait for the special guests.
Oh, well, I've got some news for you.
It's just going to be me reading from my Twitter feed.
I couldn't get any guests.
It was...
Even Graham Elwood was like,
sorry, I'm going to be right there in town,
but I can't make it.
I mean, right there with you,
but I can't make it to the show.
Oh, my God, we ate at BudaCon tonight.
Yeah.
I'm only mentioning them so that they will
comp the bill the next time I'm in town.
But that place is delicious.
Oh my god.
Alright.
Where's rye underscore chance?
Where are you at?
Oh, didn't make it?
Okay, because it says time to smoke them and then headed to see Doug Benson so that could have that could have gone badly get all
high they go oh he's not one of his TV shows is on I'll just I'll just listen to an old podcast Oh okay here's somebody wrote
For the Leonard Maltin game
This is Bobby D522
He wrote
Is that you?
Is that you lady?
Bobby wrote for Leonard Maltin tonight
Philadelphia
Phil Hartman,
Delroy Lindo,
or Sofia Coppola?
That is a crazy category.
I wish I'd looked at this
earlier.
But I'm going to favorite you,
BobbyD522,
and maybe I'll play it on next week's show when I'm back in Los Angeles,
which will really throw them off because they'll be like, why are you dragging Philadelphia into this?
What did Philadelphia do to you?
All right.
Here we go, you guys.
I do have some guests.
They are very special.
We only have a couple of microphones for my four guests,
so they're going to learn to share
and have a loving experience together.
Maybe not too big of a surprise, my guests,
on this particular visit,
because four of the five of us were on the radio this morning
for two hours during
drive time, so you may have heard us on there.
But I'm very excited about all of these people
and I'd like to bring them out right now.
Like I said,
there's the one person that I brought
with me from California, then the two local celebrities,
and then another friend I got to come in from New York.
So please welcome to the stage, in no particular order,
my friends Graham Elwood, WMMR's President Steve,
and Nikki Glaser. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. So let's start with Preston and Steve,
two guys who have an awesome radio following here in Philadelphia
and the world because you podcast your shows as well.
Right, right.
And I don't know if I've never asked or never looked,
but I honestly just know you as Preston and Steve.
So could you tell us your last names?
Or are you like those kind of people that only have one name?
No, no, no.
I mean, I'll go by asshole every now and then.
Is this on? Yes. Preston Elliott. And Steve Morrison by asshole every now and then.
Preston Elliott.
And Steve Morrison.
Oh, I knew that.
Why did you call the show Elliott and Morrison?
You gotta do the first name thing.
It's the standard hackneyed radio thing.
Either that or
Dickhead and the Fart Man.
We went with our actual names because
we figured that would be so cool.
Listen, my friends Fart
Dick and Head Man
are very offended by that comment.
Did you guys
hear us on the radio this morning?
Awesome.
Very nice. You guys have been very
cool about promoting this event,
and I'm very happy to have you here.
It's very cool, actually,
because your eyes are at the same level of closed
that they were this morning.
Well, I'm a professional.
I'm a professional Preston or Steve,
and I...
What I do...
What I have morning radio to do, I get up early enough to get hella high before going in.
And then, of course, for this evening show, that wasn't so hard to do.
I had a little more time for that.
There's a sign here in the front. Is that popcorn?
And what does it say?
Kathy? And it's on like
a stop sign slash fan thing.
And you got lots of other stuff on there,
but the popcorn is probably not a smart
play just because I kind of want to eat it.
I'm kind of looking
at it the whole show going, can I eat that sign?
And then there's a Twizzler one.
It looks like this.
Oh, and someone else made a Twizzler sign?
Oh my God.
If we got caught in a snowstorm
and got stuck in this club,
you guys would have the only food
other than the food that they make here at the club.
I recommend the chicken skewers.
Are you familiar with the legend and lore here, Doug?
That they can't have, I guess, actual fire grills.
They have, it's all electric because we are underground.
That's a little slice of...
Oh, this club is underground?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, we're like under a parking garage.
It's crazy.
That's our big legend here.
Because you don't ever go down steps.
That's our big legend here. Because you don't ever go down steps.
There's like a slight gradual
decline
as you come in
and then you're underground.
It doesn't make sense.
Here's another thing that doesn't make sense.
Why is the most famous movie about AIDS
called Philadelphia? like what the
fuck when I saw that movie I was like why are you pinning that on a city and
why is it that movie called Boston or some shit we're uh I was trying to get
some local yeah we're proud of our, and that's what that's about.
AIDS town.
You really don't look your AIDS.
City of brotherly love.
You look pretty AIDS-free.
So you should mention this morning,
for those of you listening,
when Doug, he went,
oh, this microphone doesn't work,
it's because he was...
I don't know if you couldn't...
If you weren't watching the video, you wouldn't see Doug.
He moved to a different microphone to look at something,
and he didn't have his headphones on.
He starts talking, and he's like, oh, this microphone doesn't work.
And they're all like, you need headphones for that.
Oh, all right.
This mic isn't turned on.
Yeah, it was funny slash embarrassing.
But you can listen to that.
If you're listening to this now
and you want to hear President Steve
and you want to hear Graham and I
talking to President Steve
and me being an idiot about the microphones,
your podcasts are listed by the date, right?
Yep.
So just look for the one that first aired on,
what is this, May 17th.
Right.
It was up by 11.30 this morning.
Yeah, it's up right away after your show.
So people can, like, do a lot of people
download it and listen
to it the next day on their commute
to somewhere? We get a lot of the same
day. We get people actually listen to the show and then
listen to it again.
I'm on the show and I wouldn't fucking do that.
But, yeah, and then we do get,
we'll get a whole bunch of emails
pertaining to a topic we discussed
two or three days earlier.
So we know that's kind of...
Oh yeah, you're getting it on a delay.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Let's talk movies.
Yeah.
Let's get into some movie talk.
Nikki Glaser is in a movie that I've talked about on the podcast
and I enjoy a great deal called I Am Comic.
Yeah.
And what I like about Nikki's part of the movie
is it's all about her being out on the road
and trying to find some weed.
It was.
Someone recently said to me in Portland when I was there,
another comic was like,
are you worried that people are going to see that
and think you're really poor?
I was like, well, I am.
And it's a documentary, so good on them.
They captured it.
Yeah, they really got the spirit of being on the road
and trying to find some weed that you're not going to buy.
My part of the movie is I'm in a comedy condo, which is where a club, a shitty club sometimes
puts you up when they don't want to pay for a hotel.
They'll rent a condo and put the comics in a...
Or sometimes nice clubs do it.
Or a nice...
Yes.
I don't work here.
No, Helium doesn't have a condo.
They put you in a nice hotel. So, yeah. Yeah, I want to work there. No, Helium doesn't have a condo. They put you in a nice hotel.
So, yeah, I want to work there again, I guess.
So, yeah, I was in Tampa at a condo.
And I'm being interviewed, and in the middle of it,
there was a knock on the door, totally unplanned.
And it was a guy, the emcee,
who lived within the condo complex coming to sell me weed.
Yeah, I love that moment.
It's very realistic. It's very realistic.
It's very true.
And, yeah, so check that out if you get a chance.
If you haven't seen I Am Comic-Ed.
Have you guys seen that?
I have not seen it, but I want to see it now,
just for that weed scene.
No, I'm going to have my mom watch I Am Comic.
I've said this before on the podcast,
because it really does show, like,
it's got lots of great comics
like Nikki and Todd Glass
and Dana Gould. I have
seen it.
Actually, now I have seen it.
How high did you get while you were watching it?
Actually, on the anomaly,
there's almost like a matter-antimatter thing here
because I've never in my life
tried pot. I've never been drunk.
Right? I've straight up never done that.. I've never been drunk. Right?
Straight up, never done that.
Not at all. Somebody, some guy wrote me an email
saying that I shouldn't have you on,
I shouldn't be on your show
and you shouldn't be on my show
for that very reason.
Like there is a guy in Philadelphia
that is fucking pissed
that there is a morning radio personality
in this town who doesn't drink or smoke weed.
Like, how do you get the nerve?
How dare you
host a hot body competition?
Preston or Steve.
Let me ask you something, Doug, because
you had said that your character
in this movie is looking for pot
for strangers. It's a documentary, so
it's really her.
I haven't seen it either.
Where did you find the motivation to play yourself,
Mickey, in that movie?
But listen, you have no problem with this because
it's part of who you are
with, you know, people will approach you
and you have no problem finding weed, but if you're traveling,
if you're going out of town, you're a stranger, you don't know anybody,
what's the best way to go about finding a little bit?
Well, Twitter.
Yeah?
Yeah, having some Twitter followers helps.
Okay, that's a good idea.
Yeah, because then you can just put the word out on there.
All right.
And then also, whoever parks the cars at the hotel.
Really?
Might have a hookup.
Good point.
Yeah, at that level, they might know.
It might be that hookup. Good point. Yeah, at that level, they might know. It might be that guy specifically.
Or you can just do what most comics do,
is just talk about it on stage, and then...
And after the show, we had a situation where we were shooting a scene.
Let's see.
We're on a fucking TV.
But it was for It's Always Sunny.
Yeah!
We're on a fucking TV.
But it was for It's Always Sunny.
Yeah!
Yeah.
So we were out on, like, I don't know, Locust or Chestnut or somewhere anyway,
and we're standing outside this little trailer they had set up,
and it's me and Steve and Charlie Day, great guy from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
And we're just shooting the shit, and this guy walks up to Charlie,
and he's wearing what looked like to me at first glance to be like an airline
pilot's uniform.
He was a pilot!
Fair enough.
Firmly established.
Shakes Charlie's hand and goes,
man, you're fucking awesome. I love you. And he walks
away and I see Charlie look down and he just
giggles and I'm like, what? And he goes, this.
And I go, what is it?
He goes, it's weed.
The guy just handed me some pot.
Yeah.
And I'm like, do you want that?
No.
So he gave it to me.
No.
And I was just blown away that the guy, you know, walking up on the street, an airline
pilot just hands it off to him.
I want that kind of power.
That's pretty amazing.
Because also, like, that guy isn't, like, known as a weed guy, right? I want that kind of power. That's pretty amazing.
Because also, like, that guy isn't, like, known as a weed guy, right?
Charlie Day isn't like, give that guy weed.
His character huffs paint, so he should have come up and given him some. He should have palmed some paint.
Slip him a pan and a roller.
It's a little hard to palm that.
Did I already ask you about your podcast, Nikki?
No.
Okay, let's get into that really quick.
You have a podcast.
I do.
With your friend Sarah Schaefer.
Yeah, it's called You Had to Be There.
And it's, yeah, my comic friend of mine, Sarah Schaefer,
and I tape out of her Brooklyn apartment in her living room,
and we have a comic and a musical guest
and, like, a small studio audience.
So yeah, so are you saying that if anybody that's here in Philadelphia or listening to
this podcast, if they're in Brooklyn around the time you're taping, they should tweet
you about coming and being part of that audience?
Yeah, we haven't had fans yet.
I mean, we're building.
We're on like our...
I mean, we have...
She's going to kill me.
It's just friends so far
it's just friends
sitting around
what do you do
like you record it
like in a kitchen nook
or something
it's a small apartment
but we haven't had fans
reach out to us yet
that's what I'm saying
now it's time to reach out
yes
reach out
like if you're gonna be
in the New York area
and you wanna go
you do it on Saturday
afternoons or something
we tape whenever we can
we just had on Reggie Watts and the Gregory Brothers from the Bed and Truder video that's our next episode New York area and you want to go, what you do it on Saturday afternoons or something? We tape whenever we can.
We just had on Reggie Watts and the Gregory brothers from the bed intruder video.
That's our next episode.
We've had Kristen Shaw.
This crowd knows Reggie Watts.
This is great.
Yeah.
Reggie should have brought him down for this.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But that's awesome.
So yeah,
check out and what's it called again?
You had to be there.
All right.
And then Graham of course has a podcast called comedy film nerd awesome. Thank you. So yeah, check out. And what's it called again? You Had to Be There? You Had to Be There. All right. And then Graham, of course, has a podcast called Comedy Film Nerds.
Oh, yeah.
Clap those kitten hands together, Philly.
What's going on over there these days?
Any new developments?
Yeah.
Han still shot first in our eyes.
Actually, Steve and I were getting into this,
we were getting into this nerd discussion of that documentary,
The People vs. George Lucas, and it's basically, if you haven't seen it, it's great.
It's about all the things George Lucas has fucked up.
And we started going off on this, and we're just like,
why would they make Han not you first?
And I'm like, yeah, the fucking midichlorians.
And then Preston and Nikki's eyes just fucking glazed.
They were just like, they were at an insurance seminar.
No, I'm like, Nikki, you're thinking about shoes right now, aren't you?
I don't even like shoes.
She hates shoes, but she'd rather think about that than...
I thought Zappa was in my brain. What the fuck the guy in the Greedo mask was up to.
So that's what's going on at Comedy Film Nerds.
Also, we have a movie on the site, Henry Phillips' movie, Punching the Clown, that Nikki has a small part in.
So, yeah, it's a great movie.
It's another great movie.
It's got a nice round of polite golf applause. Yeah, yeah, it's a great movie. It's another great movie. Yeah, they got a nice round of polite golf applause.
Yeah, yeah.
So that's also, it's like Henry Phillips on the road.
It's not a documentary, but it's very accurate about what being on the road is like.
And also then my documentary, Laughganistan, about the first time I went to do a comedy tour.
Thank you so much. You guys are awesome.
Yeah.
It's, thank you.
It's the first time I did a comedy tour in Afghanistan.
I went over there and like, what the fuck?
Kind of freaked out.
So it's a pay what you think is fair download.
You can get it for as little as a penny.
I have to admit, when you said this morning, six tours in Iraq, I'm like, fuck, this guy's a soldier.
Yeah, that's fucking hardcore.
Most of the soldiers only go two or three times. It's like, man, that's fucking hardcore. Most of the soldiers only go two or three times.
It's like, man, that's torturous.
But they stay a lot longer.
Yeah.
But you, Steve, today on the show, you said a funny word after Laughganistan.
What did you say was next?
The companion piece to Giggle Rack.
Giggle Rack, yeah.
That's the sequel.
It's in pre-production.
Giggle Rack.
Look for it.
Yeah, so it's the sequel. It's in pre-production. Giggle rack. Look for it. Yeah, so it's been cool.
We do our podcast every week, and we did a live podcast recording up in Portland, Oregon
at the Bridgetown Comedy Festival that Doug was on, which was awesome.
And since then, even last night, people were like,
oh, you guys should do more comedy film nerd live shows.
So if Chris Mancini and I came out here to Philadelphia,
would you guys come out for it?
Would you guys do it?
Hey, this is my show now.
Do you mind?
No, that'd be great.
You guys should definitely come do one here.
And let's just go down the line,
starting with Graham,
since this is Doug Lowe's movies,
what have you seen recently that you liked or didn't like?
I just saw Everything Must Go, which is, yeah.
That guy liked it.
Let's set it up a little bit.
It's Will Ferrell.
His wife throws him out, and all of his stuff is on the lawn,
so he decides to have a lawn sale.
Well, he loses his job, and he's just sitting there.
And the thing they don't tell you in the trailer, but they say this in the very beginning of the movie, so I'm not giving you some spoiler alert, is he's got a drinking problem.
He's an alcoholic, and so that plays sort of as – there's some decent parts of it.
But a lot of Will Ferrell, when he does his comedies, he's doing the straight-laced guy that says crazy bullshit. So when I saw it,
there's people in the theater, and he's trying to do
serious acting. I'm fighting with my
life. And they'd be like, ah, Will Ferrell's
fucking wackiness.
So I think that's kind of the...
Had they cast it differently,
I think it might have been a quite different movie.
But it's still decent. It's not a bad film.
All right.
What have you
seen lately, Nikki?
Bridesmaids.
Yay! Ladies!
Ladies!
That one is not safe
for men.
NSFM.
No, it's
extremely entertaining.
All the kind of press about how, oh, finally women, you know, it's extremely entertaining. Yeah. All the kind of press about how, oh, finally, you know, women, you know, like it did well at the box office this past weekend.
It didn't beat Thor.
Right.
But it still did pretty well.
Yeah.
And so I'm happy for it.
But it's just so funny how everyone's like, oh, wow, this.
It's all dependent on this.
It's the most amazing thing.
And they're like, yeah, like no movie about women will ever get made again
if this movie doesn't make 100 million.
And that's really not,
that's so unfair to that movie
and to, in general,
like that's,
if it had been a movie about anything but a wedding,
it would have been even less of a chick flick.
They just sort of got, I think,
pigeonholed by calling it Bridesmaids
and having it be about a wedding makes it already a level of disinterest in men.
Like, look at that guy right there.
He's thinking about shoes.
It's about a fucking wedding.
But for me, there's been a few movies that are only men in the cast,
and I'm not interested in that.
I am a man.
I want to look at hot women,
and Bridesmaids has some pretty attractive females in the cast.
Yeah.
So I don't know why there's this stigma on it.
That shit and sinks.
Spoiler alert.
I'm going to shit in the sink.
It's not only hard to do, it's hard to say.
It is.
Yeah. I'm going to shit in the sink. I was impressed. I nailed it. I'm going to shit in the sink. It's not only hard to do, it's hard to say. It is. Yeah.
I was impressed.
I nailed it.
God damn it.
I'm going to just do it.
That was Jimmy Durante's catchphrase, wasn't it?
I'm going to shit in the sink.
I'm going to shit in the sink.
Yeah, yeah.
It was a whole song that he'd shuffle off to.
Right.
You didn't hear it a lot.
But we had Kristen Wiig in the studio.
Oh, wow.
She came in studio?
She was awesome.
I bet.
I love her so much.
Me too.
And she was from Reno 911, the busty-
Wendy Lennon.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Shit in the sink at the station?
She shit in the sink, yeah.
One demand.
We take out all the green M&Ms and she can shit in the sink.
But no, and Kristen is, she's hot.
She's really, you know, looks good.
But, no, they were, and Kristen is, she's hot.
She's really, you know, looks good.
But I think they were fighting the association,
because they were being called the female hangover, you know?
Right.
So they were fighting that.
And from what I hear, it's awesome. It's funnier than the hangover.
Yeah, I think so, too.
No matter what you think about the hangover,
this movie's funnier, I think.
No?
I do, too.
But who knows? Hangover 2
might come right over the top.
Might be funnier than
Bridesmaids and Hangover and then I will
be like, fuck me then.
Yeah, but Hangover's great
but I'm just saying, there's something about Bridesmaids
like rolling laughter.
Like where you're like...
It never stops.
And I went to go see it on opening night
and just applause,
just people screaming.
It was a magical night of comedy.
It really was.
I was with my friend,
comedian Amy Schumer,
and we were like,
this everything's changing tonight.
That's some Amy Schumer fans.
Don't you appreciate the R-rated comedy?
The comeback of the R-rated comedy is awesome.
But now they, it still takes, it's rare when you find a movie that you can laugh all the way through.
And people think that, you know, having worked with comedians for a long time, that they, comedians love to laugh too.
You know, but the thing is, is it's there's so many movies
that just people rave over and you get swept up and you go see and it's a piece of shit you know
yeah you little fuckers get it their name sounds like a dirty word do you did you get that three Goddamn joke.
No, but in all,
if I could just be serious for a second.
Do you need to shit in a sink?
No, but seriously,
it's... In the third one,
he really has a chance to be the godfucker.
Fucking asshole.
Yeah, in the trailer.
I haven't seen the movie.
I'll sleep through it on a plane in another month or so. But in the trailer, De Niro is like,
I want you to be the godfucker.
And then Ben Stiller kind of laughs a little bit then he goes are you laughing at me
cuz like I'm sure that I'm sure that the characters don't know that fucker is
such a hilarious name but anyway you guys have to get up early all the time
that's really part of the job how does that how does that cut into your movie You guys have to get up early all the time.
That's really part of the job.
How does that cut into your movie viewing?
When and where do you see movies?
I have three kids, so I do not see movies. So you've seen Rio and Hop?
I saw Hop.
You saw Hop?
He's a piece of shit.
Fucking Easter Bunny piece of shit.
Fucking Easter Bunny piece of shit But we did get to go see
A screening of
Hangover 2
So we've seen it
You've seen it already
Same movie
Same movie as the first one
They just do it all over again
That's what I always worry about with sequels
As soon as I heard there was a sequel
They're going to accidentally Drink so much that they can't remember For the most part, yeah. That's what I always worry about with sequels. As soon as I heard there was a sequel, I was like,
they're going to accidentally drink so much that they can't remember what happened.
Once you've been through the story of The Hangover,
those people probably would never touch any booze ever again.
Yes, absolutely.
Well, they're sort of roofied in the first one,
and they never explain the potent nature of the booze that launches them into a...
Do they?
I must have missed that part.
I can't give it away here.
I'll talk to you later about it.
All right.
No, but you know what?
And another observation, Doug,
is they bounce back from the world's worst hangover
in like 10 minutes.
They're up, running, taking off, and going.
I don't give a shit if my mom had her arm cut off
I need three quarters of the day
to recuperate after that
by the way
I loved your mom in 127 hours
that was your mom this is what I do Oh, she got that joke right.
That was your mom.
Brilliant.
This is what I do.
So, okay, so you've only seen kids' movies and Hangover 2?
Yeah, Hangover 2.
Those are the only things you've seen lately?
Yeah, pretty much so.
We had a screening of Tron when that first came out.
Tron.
I went to see that, yeah. The first Tron? The second Tron. We had a screening of Tron when that first came out. Tron. I went to see that. Yeah.
The first Tron?
The second Tron.
We're a little behind.
Yeah, even the second Tron's been a while now.
That was like in December.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm a cable guy.
I like shitting in the sink, and I like cable.
No, I wait until it comes on TV, and then I will watch it 50 times. I usually get fixated on a movie or two, and I will just watch and watch.
What's your current fixation?
You know what?
Sherlock Holmes has been running on cable a lot.
You're so gay.
I love that movie.
You didn't like Sherlock Holmes?
That's just shirtless dudes punching each other.
I like Sherlock Holmes? That's just shirtless dudes punching each other. I like Sherlock Holmes.
I like that whole thing of when he's like,
I'm going to do this to him,
and then he's going to punch me this way,
and then I'm going to do that,
and it's going to lead to this.
That's pretty awesome, but he does that a few times,
and then they have a few more fights,
and they stop doing it.
So that was frustrating to me.
And also the fact that Sherlock Holmes, as far as I could tell,
doesn't really solve any kind of crimes.
He's more of a fighting guy than a crime-solving guy.
Well, actually, in the books, he does possess a fighting capability.
So he's not just a...
He's a pugilist in the books?
He's a pugilist.
He's not just Basil Rathbone there.
But, yeah, I know what you're saying.
Is it a great movie?
No, but I dug it too.
I'll see the shit out of the sequel.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm on board for the next one.
That's what happens to me with a lot of movies.
I don't really love it, but I'm like, I'll see another one.
That's how I feel about Thor.
I didn't love Thor, but I'll see the next Thor.
I mean, it was good, but I didn't love it
because I didn't like all the stuff on his home planet.
Like, that wasn't that interesting to me.
I'd rather see a guy with a big hammer
running around here in America
just pounding the shit out of people with it.
Yeah, take that, Bin Laden!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, send Thor in to get Bin Laden.
Even though it's too late,
I think it's never...
It's worth doing again.
Send Thor to the bottom of the ocean
to hammer the shit out of...
Yeah!
Out of Bin Laden. Yeah!
Yeah, Aquaman could help out.
Yeah, Aquaman couldn't do it.
Aquaman is going to be just...
It's like a John Waters movie about a guy who uses too much hairspray.
So, Steve, what have you seen lately?
Well, I've been watching a lot of...
On purpose, a lot of crap.
I watched a movie called Abby, which is also titled The Black Exorcist.
Yeah, really.
There's one weirdo in the audience clapping.
Oh, you motherfucker.
I watched Blackenstein, which, you know, they do exist.
You were, the Blummy?
Yeah, today on the radio I said, have you seen the Blummy?
Or the Blinvisible Man.
And, you know, I'm always a sucker for, you guys know The Room, of course, right?
The very shitty movie, The Room?
So I've been on a kick watching a lot of that stuff.
The same stuff that blows you away.
We were talking in the studio today.
It's the same sort of stuff that I'm digging.
I want to see Thor, couldn't see Thor,
because everything comes in digitally now on hard drives,
and the hard drive crashed
when we were just about to see the movie.
So I went home and watched Blackenstein instead
because I thought that'd probably be pretty similar to Thor.
It's good to have a nice fallback.
Have you seen Black Dynamite?
I love Black Dynamite.
That's fun.
We had him in the studio.
What's the guy's name?
Michael Jai White.
Michael Jai White, who played Spawn as well.
And he's a total badass.
Yeah, big dude.
But he wrote the script, too, which I found phenomenal.
Yeah, no, it's really well done.
Yeah, very well done.
It's a parody to the point where it's almost just like those movies.
It could play.
If you were to release that in 1974, people would buy it.
It would be fine just how it is. It would be fine, just how it is.
They'd be fine, yeah. Absolutely.
But the blaxploitation
stuff is just great, and a lot of the stuff that they've,
like Abby was released when The Exorcist
came out, go figure, and
it's basically the same story, but
Warner Brothers freaked out and
had them pull all the copies out of the theater.
So it's basically a movie that was released for about a
week and a half, and has never been seen since then.
So I have a copy if you want to borrow it.
Yeah, I want to see it.
I'm intrigued by it now.
What about, it's summer blockbuster time.
So we'll start with Graham down there.
What's your idea of a perfect summer blockbuster?
What's your favorite summer movie of all time?
Well, I mean, honestly, it's one of my all-time favorite movies of everything,
which is The Dark Knight.
You can't take my favorite.
That, to me, is like it's a big studio picture.
It's a comic book movie, and they did it perfectly.
And Michael Jai White is in it.
He is?
Yes.
Yeah, that's right.
Yeah, he's the one that, like, when he breaks the pool cue in half and says, you know, you guys got to kill each other to join my crew.
But I just think, not to bum anybody out too much,
but, you know, I'm on the record.
We're all going to die one day.
I think Christopher Nolan
is insanely talented, and him and his brother
are going to write a great screenplay,
or they're going to bring David Goyer in, and he's going to
work on it, and they're going to make
a movie, and God bless
them, I can't wait to see it. But also
Joseph Gordon-Levitt's going to be in it
and Tom Hardy and
Michael Caine. It's all
people. He's getting a repertory
company. Well, it's a good
repertory company. It's a really good repertory company.
The one mistake they can't make is to
over-villain it, which is
the mistake they always fucking do that.
Multiple villains.
Because that's even, if I had a criticism of Dark Knight,
it would just be that it was a little schizophrenic
between Harvey Dent and the Joker.
Like, you kind of only needed the Joker.
Well, it's, and I go back to, like,
the Tim Burton Batmans I enjoyed,
but these films to me are,
this is the Batman series that I'm tied into.
These are like a mile,
I think they're mostly better than the Tim Burton ones
just because of time and also being made by someone
who art direction isn't the only thing he cares about.
Well, these ones did this crazy,
Batman Begins in Dark Knight did this crazy thing
that Tim Burton didn't do,
which is they referenced the fucking comic book.
Tim Burton was like,
yeah, Vicki Vale comes in the Batcave
and it's going to be a fucking crazy party
and it's fucking retarded.
And I can't even go into how stupid
all those movies were.
No offense.
Well, you know, Tim Burton loved the villains more.
Yeah, he did.
Everyone goes to see a batman movie
to see batman beat the shit out of people because the batman has the greatest villains like putting
ra agul in the batman begins he's a great villain because he's kind of good you know what i mean he
wants the world to be a better place his way is fucking just kill everybody that's shitty you know
what i mean the joker like that scene with heath ledger and the joker i mean that's out of like
the killing joke which is a great graphic novel where joker is basically yeah he's basically You know what I mean? The Joker, like that scene with Heath Ledger in The Joker, I mean, that's out of, like, The Killing Joke,
which is a great graphic novel where Joker is basically, yeah,
is basically saying to the Batman,
you and I aren't that different.
We're both fucking nuts, you know?
And I go about it a little differently.
So now I bring it to you and the audience.
How can Anne Hathaway as Catwoman
be anywhere near as scary and amazing
and awesome as Heath Ledger
as the Joker. I think they've
just set up to fail.
The whole thing is too
big to succeed.
Here's what's going to happen.
I don't think they're going to Catwoman
her out. I think they're going to
she may shit in a box.
That may be it.
They might let her shit in a box, but then what else
are they going to do? They're going to put tape on the
edges of the furniture, and they're going to
spray her with water.
Spray her with water.
They're going to erect a giant scratching post
in the middle of Gotham
to distract her from being bad.
But Joseph Gordon-Levitt
is Falcone's son.
And so I think...
I could see that.
That's good.
I'm glad he's not like the Riddler.
Right, so he's not.
And that would have been horrible
if they had done that.
They're going to have Bane,
but Bane...
And the dude playing him
is getting jacked up,
but Bane is insanely huge.
Is that Tom Hardy
that's playing Bane?
Yeah.
Yeah, I believe so, yeah.
So if they meter it
and keep it,
you know,
they get distracted too much.
I have a lot of faith
in Christopher Nolan
to not fuck it up,
but I also worry
that when he died,
Heath Ledger took
the greatest film villain
of all time with him.
But also,
I mean, also,
even if heath
ledger had not died the joker is one like the great in my opinion the greatest villain out there
so cat woman her depiction in the comics she's not scary she's you know she's she's kind of sexy
but she's like she's an ex-prostitute you know what i mean who goes a little crazy that's who
serena is and she ends there's a storyline in some of the comics where she falls in love with Bruce Wayne and stuff like that.
So I think they're just, no matter who you cast, those two villains are so drastically different from one another.
I don't know.
It might fail.
When I heard the news, I was like, Anne Hathaway, I don't know.
I don't think so.
But I think it could.
I don't know.
I said the same thing about Heath Ledger.
I'm like, Heath Ledger, that fucking pretty boy, he's never going to carry this shit off.
And he fucking knocked it out of the park.
So I don't know.
They're 2-0 in my book.
I expect them to win.
Yeah, so lightning might strike twice.
Three times.
Or three times.
I think it will.
But I think it's unlikely.
Well, look at the Spider-Man.
I'm a pessimist about it.
Spider-Man, usually you hope, because it's weird. Number two, the second Spider-Man film is the best lot. Number two. Spider-man. Usually you hope... Because it's weird.
Number two, the second Spider-man film is the best lot.
Number two.
Iron Man worked the other way.
But I think Christopher Nolan...
I mean, Jon Favreau is a great director.
Sam Raimi is a great director.
But Nolan really is just so precise.
And I mean, The Dark Knight is so frigging awesome
that I think he has the chops to make the third one go the distance
I hope so
I mean it's a tough act to follow
there's no two ways about it
the Dark Knight is amazing
are you a video gamer?
a little bit
have you played Arkham Asylum?
no
that's a great game
that's what everyone tells me
that's a Batman world that's super dark
and the villains are perfectly realized
and it's great.
It's one of the guys
who did
the same voices
that did
Mask of the Phantasm.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
And it's great.
So, you know,
there are people
who can nail it.
You just don't want
to be disappointed.
You're talking about
Ultimate Summer.
I think even if this movie
is a...
Even...
I think it's gonna...
If it is a disappointment, it won't be a horrifying Spider-Man 3 disappointment. I think... You this movie is a... Even... I think it's gonna... If it is a disappointment,
it won't be a horrifying
Spider-Man 3 disappointment.
I think...
You know what I mean?
I think it'll just sort of
miss the mark a little bit
and you'll walk out of the theater
and go,
there was some great stuff about that,
but...
You don't think they'll have a scene
where Batman goes into a club
and does a beatnik dance?
Yeah.
Yeah.
They'll skip that part.
What about you, Nikki?
Do you have a summer blockbuster that you enjoy?
I've been thinking this entire time
because I don't care about this.
Not that I don't care.
I was in Zappos land.
I was thinking about shoes.
I've been thinking about other things
because I don't give a shit about what you're talking about. No I didn't mean I didn't
care. I do understand that though. I just don't relate
and all I can come up with
is like Independence Day and Big Mama's
House.
And I didn't even see Big Mama's House.
Was it good?
I think that's
I think that'd be a great movie like Big Mama
saves us from the
aliens.
Because she doesn't take no sass from anybody.
Especially not some big headed.
What about Preston?
Do you have a favorite?
I just like gay movies.
Anything that's super gay?
Like what did you hear about the Morgans?
No.
What a movie.
No, any of the comic book franchise
I'm all about
You guys just spend some time talking about that
Have you seen Thor yet?
No I've not seen Thor yet
That's on the list
You guys are all cool with me giving away some Thor stuff right?
Yeah
If you haven't seen it yet you don't care that much
It's been two weekends
But also I'm not i'm gonna give
away something from like the middle of the movie at one point the like bad guy makes a big giant
robot that comes to you know attack thor and the rest of the the gang and um and the guy from that
secret government agency that's in all that was in both the iron Man movies, and he's played by Clark Gregg. He goes, he
sees the big giant robot thing, and he's like, does Tony Stark have something to do with
this? And it's like, at that point in the movie, I'm like, no, but you could call Tony
Stark, and he could have a robot come take out this robot, but they don't do that. He
just references him, and then they just sort of move on with the story.
And they're setting up an Avengers movie
where Thor and Iron Man will fight side by side.
So in a way, because they're leading to this,
which I'm super stoked about.
Yeah, me too.
But you're right.
They have to restrict the world
that they're existing in right now
so they can have that payoff.
They can't afford to have Robert Downey Jr. show up in Thor.
Because he could kick ass.
But he really could have helped out.
As long as they were bringing him up,
he would have been a good person to call
to fight the giant robot.
Because he would be in a flying robot
that could fly around the giant robot
and take it out like Luke Skywalker
in an AT-AT.
Yeah, yeah.
Let's play some games.
Yeah!
This is a game that
I don't know how many episodes of the podcast you guys have listened to,
but in the early going, we played it quite a bit,
and then it sort of fell by the wayside because of the fact that the live shows each week are only 45 minutes long,
and not live shows, but the free episodes each week are only 45 minutes,
so we ran out of time for it, but it's called Build a Title.
You guys are hardcore.
Oh my God.
So essentially the idea is we start with a title, and then you try to add the titles
of other movies to either the beginning or end of the title, and there nothing really at stake it's just for fun and see what kind of crazy
long title we can come up with so I'm gonna point to this gentleman right here
with the is that like a Punisher just name any any movie at all that has like
more than one word in the title it happened one night I didn't ask you, did I?
What if he had the same shirt on so you thought I was talking to him?
Okay, we got a title from him, sir, but thank you.
We're going with It Happened One Night.
So we'll start with Steve.
You have to add a title by either adding a title that begins with the word night
or another movie that ends with the word it.
Okay.
All right.
It happened one night.
Night of the Hunter comes to mind.
Yeah, that works.
That works?
Okay.
Yeah, it happened one night of the Hunter.
So now Preston has to add...
He has to do a movie that starts with Hunter.
I fucked you up, didn't I?
Starts with Hunter or ends in it.
All right, it happened one night of The Hunter.
That's what we're at right now?
Yeah.
I'm stalling.
No, it's good.
It's always good to repeat where we're at.
Yes.
To give yourself a little extra time.
Do I have a time limit here?
No, well, you know, within reason.
Please give me a time limit here.
It happened one night of the...
I'm trying to think of an it.
Because Hunter, forget it, man.
Was there a movie called Hunter?
Just Hunter?
Can I go with that?
Yeah. There was? Yeah. Who was in that? hunter forget it man uh was there a movie called hunter just hunter can i go with that yeah there
was yeah who was in that um if you say mark walberg i will kill you because he was in the
shooter um which takes place here god man i have no idea. I fucked you up, didn't I?
You fucked me up.
I thought you were going to go with Nightmare on Elm Street or Night of the Living Dead.
I had ones for those ready to go.
Well, for the title to start with Night, even it's a night to remember, Night of the Hunter is the actual title.
I didn't want to embellish and make it easy for you.
Night of the Living Dead starts with night.
Yeah, that's an easy one.
Lots of movies start with dead.
Night of the Living Dead.
Thank you.
It happened one night of the living dead calm.
Yeah, but then you fucked Nikki over.
Yeah, I would.
Fuck her.
Now she's got to talk you out of changing your mind.
Do you have one?
You can't do one like It.
Yeah, you can.
Yeah.
It.
No, there was a movie.
That was a TV miniseries, though, I think.
Oh, it was?
Okay.
What's, isn't there one with, what's Steve Carell and Anne Hathaway, Forget It, That's
It?
Get Smart. Oh, that's it? Get smart.
Oh, that's not it.
Get smart, it.
It felt like there was an it in there.
I've got one when it comes around to me.
Wait, wait, we do it.
But Graham also seems to be comfortable.
Let's forget about it.
We're going to...
There's a movie called Let's Forget About It?
I'm sure there was, but hold on.
How about What's Up With This Shit?
Is that a movie?
No.
Warner Brothers.
Stick it!
It was a TV show.
Stick it! Great!
That's fantastic.
Whip it.
Whip...
Oh, come on.
There were plenty of options.
The audience isn't supposed to yell out.
They're not, do they not?
It's hard to believe you retired this game.
It's a fun game.
People love it.
All right, Nikki's out.
Stick it.
You can't use the audience suggestion.
I know there's like a you can do it.
I bet if we had someone with a...
What do you have, Graham?
Well, there is a wrestling movie called Go For It.
Yeah, there's a wrestling movie called Go For It.
So wrestle on that.
So,
Go For It happened
one night of the living dead
calm.
Go.
So, go.
I wish there was a movie called Alma
Mater because I'd go, call my mater.
But I don't
think there is. And what's on the
other end? What do you got? Go.
Go.
Stratego is in a movie.
But it's got to be in development.
Something Go.
Go tell the Spartans.
Restrepo.
A very serious movie.
It's not anything to make light of.
No.
It's some heavy shit.
Do you have one?
I do.
Oh, you're ready to go?
Okay, I'm out then.
Go tell the Spartans. It's got to end with Go. It's got to end I do. Oh, you're ready to go? Okay, I'm out then. Go tell the Spartans.
It's got to end with go.
I thought he said go.
Tell the Spartans, go.
I'm going with Restrepro.
That's hard. Something that ends in go.
Ends in go.
Wow.
I spoke too soon.
I sounded all cool and everything
Something go
There's gotta be something
What?
Durango
Fargo
No
That's not legit
I like Fargo
It's one word
Yeah, it works though Yeah, because you've got two parts to the word Fargo. It's one word.
Yeah, it works though.
Yeah, because you've got two parts to the word.
Fargo for it
happened one night
of the living dead calm.
Yeah, so now all you have to do
is think of a movie
Preston that ends in the word far.
Right, okay. All right. I think there are movies that end in the word far. Right. Okay. Alright.
Okay. So we can do that.
I think there are movies that end in the word far.
Don't yell out, you guys.
But thanks for your help on that last one.
Mm-hmm.
Don't yell out unless we want it.
A lot of rules.
Far and away no that's wrong
direction really what genre is I've got it think of a bridge exploding oh yeah
bridge too far right a bridge to Fargo for it. Hold on.
It happened one night of the
living dead comp. Yay!
Do you know any words, any titles
in Bridge? Nicky?
Oh, you're out. Graham?
Uh, oh yeah, it's You can eliminate
the A's and the the's
Bridge too far, you take the A out
Alright, okay
So the first word is There's so many titles okay so it's a that gets crazy first word is
so many titles with the word the at the beginning the first word is bridge yeah bridge too far and
calm is the last one yeah you can't get anything off a calm is there a movie called calm
calming to america
oh boys mama call him clay i'm gonna call him clay to America. Oh.
Boys, mama call him Clay.
I'm going to call him Clay.
Sexual chocolate. I like that.
That's pretty good, though.
But I usually don't allow that.
Because that is stretching a little far,
but it's also so clever.
Calming to America.
At McDonald's, we got the Big Mac.
Calm back, little Sheba. Calming to America At McDonald's we got the Big Mac
Calm back little Sheba
At McDougal's we got the Big Mac
You got anything on the bridge?
Anything that ends
This game is kind of like pancakes
It's fun for a little bit
And then you're like
Why did I order this?
I don't know.
All right, I'm out.
I'll just take a fucking hit.
I'll just take a hit.
Is there one?
What's the word?
The title ends in bridge?
No, it ends in bridge.
It's got to end.
I could have said bridge over the River Kwai.
What am I, a fucking idiot?
Yeah, I don't know if there is one that ends in bridge.
It has to end in bridge.
How about seven Year Bridge?
Classic.
Heartbreak Bridge?
The movie I saw most recently I watched on YouTube in like 11 segments.
It's called The Bridge.
And it's about people that jump off the Golden Gate Bridge.
Yeah.
It's fantastic.
It's like The Wire, but with Les actually staying on the wire. Exactly. It's fantastic. It's like the wire, but with less actually staying on the wire.
Exactly.
It's crazy.
That's a heavy movie.
This guy convinced people to say he was doing a documentary about the Golden Gate Bridge,
so he had cameras on it 24 hours a day for like a whole year and caught, I think on average,
two people a month jump off the Golden Gate Bridge, and he caught these people in their
last moments just walking and then catches them
jumping off and then interviews their families
afterwards not saying that hey I have footage
of your son jumping off but just like
it's crazy and it's really good and
something you shouldn't watch at 3 in the morning when you're in Peoria
Illinois in a Holiday Inn
you also shouldn't watch it on YouTube
you should pay the dollar
or watch it on Instant Watch
on Netflix for free.
I'm sorry.
I'll pay for it now that I said that.
Yeah, go pay for it.
I will.
Go pay a dollar to all those poor people that killed themselves.
It doesn't go to them.
It doesn't?
Yeah, they're dead.
They're dead.
They're all dead.
Don't worry about them. They're dead. Too far, which is a movie. They can't watch this movie. They're dead They're all dead Don't worry about them, they're dead Which is a movie
If they can't watch this movie, they're dead
Alright, well that was a fun game of Build a Title
Everyone enjoyed themselves
But that's just a warm up
For when shit gets serious
Yeah Because now It's time for the Leonard Maltin game But that's just a warm-up for when shit gets serious. Yeah.
Because now it's time for the Leonard Maltin game.
Oh, here it comes.
This is where it gets really crazy.
Oh, my God, a guy's got a balloon.
He's got the...
You should have put a bullet hole on that smiley face like Watchmen.
Oh, look at all these crazy name tags.
We got Ringo.
We got Keith Ass, which I guess is supposed to be like kick-ass, but with the name Keith.
Whitney has a sign that's all lit up.
Jessica has like a street sign.
What's that Windex supposed to be?
Mill Don't.
Is your last name Mill or something?
No, I referenced it in Super High Me.
I say there should be a product called Mill Don't.
And there really was one, an old-timey product called that, yeah.
Okay, so here's what's going to happen.
Preston and Steve and Nikki and Graham are going to go out into the audience now
and pick the name tag, take it from them,
the name tag that speaks to you, the person that you'd like to play for,
to win everything that's in this amazing bag of prizes.
And there's some good stuff in that bag.
Yeah, yeah, I'm going to go through and tell everybody what they're playing for after you pick
some people because I don't want
people to be too disappointed
because there's some amazing stuff
in this bag. I see mine
immediately. Can I
pick it immediately? Yeah, go get it. Alex
back there with the iPad app.
Yeah, bring your iPad up here
and
Steve gets your iPad.
He's unplugging.
He was actually plugged into the wall back there.
Holy shit, this comedy club's got everything.
I got to get Tony right there.
There's a two mobile device minimum at Helium.
Oh yeah, that's cool. There you go. There's a two mobile device minimum at Helium. Oh, yeah, that's cool.
There you go.
I want a banana.
I want that banana.
There's your Alex.
Can I eat your name tag?
Wow, that Tron.
That's very cool.
What does it say?
Tony, but in Tron letters?
I love that.
Impressive.
Where did Graham go?
Oh, wow, he went all the way back there. Impressive. Where did Graham go? Oh.
Wow, he went all the way back there.
That's exciting.
This part is really fun to listen to.
She did it because it has a sword.
Well, that's good.
So you could kill yourself if you lose.
I will.
I will commit Harry Caray with this sword if I lose.
That dull sword.
So Lindsay brought like it's like a coat of arms.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
It totally is.
It's her coat of arms.
She's a...
Ow.
Fuck you, microphone.
It's a dragon and a unicorn and birds.
So she's a dragon and a unicorn and birds.
So she's a weirdo hippie.
She's a fucking homeschooled...
She lives in a homeschooled castle made of hemp and smiles.
Give me that piece of paper on the back there, Graham.
Hand that to me. Don't read it. Just hand it to me.
Because I think that's...
Some people write who they want me to call a shithead on the back of their thing.
As yours is true, too.
So don't look at that.
I can't even read that.
That one's pretty amazing.
You guys, really, honestly, all you guys give yourselves a round of applause for amazing name tag.
Yeah.
Really.
Great.
you guys give yourselves a round of applause for amazing name tag yeah really great like the toughest part about it is is is picking just one because you guys fucking do great great shit so
we'll take pictures with all your name tags after the show yeah yeah we hang out after the show uh
part of the prize package tonight is one of graham's uh very sought after palm strike t-shirts
he's got palm strike t-shirts so someone's got palm strike t-shirts.
So someone's going to win one,
but he'll also have t-shirts available in the lobby if you want to buy one.
He's also got his CD.
Graham Elwood, comedian's got a boo-boo.
Yeah, boo-boo.
That's what you sound like when you say it.
No, I don't.
Somebody's going to win a Woot Monkey, of course.
Here, Graham, while I show the rest of the prizes prizes why don't you shoot a woot monkey into the crowd
this one's got a stars and stripes cape
so fucking let's go America
and once you
catch this thing it's like a curse.
You will have a screaming monkey in your life from now on.
Oh, shit.
Block your faces.
Don't get hit in the face.
Is everybody okay?
All right, so somebody's going to win a Moot Monkey.
Someone's going to win Anthony Kiedis' book, Scar Tissue.
I don't know why that gets a big laugh.
Fine piece of literature. It's a serious book, yeah.
He's had a very troubled life, he did.
We got a 93.3 WMMR t-shirt.
Yeah!
Wow, this is crazy.
There's so much stuff in here.
We got a wristband that says Preston and Steve.
You don't have to applaud for each item.
Don't feel obligated.
We've got Blur.
What's Blur?
Video game.
Oh, okay.
Blue Valentine.
I know what that is.
That's two hours of two hot people fucking.
There's a little crying and a little arguing.
There's a little drunkenness in there.
There was an explosion from some people that made balloon animals out of their names,
and they didn't get pics.
They're like, fuck these balloons.
Yeah, let's just pop our name tags.
I never saw this.
The roommate brought a copy of the roommate.
That's a single white female.
Redone.
Another blue Valentine?
What's going on?
I think I just put it back in
and then pulled it out again.
Oh, God.
There's 500 copies of Boo Boo.
Another blur?
Yeah, hold some stuff.
There's another blur.
Sit down, sir.
Sit down.
There's a sticker that tells you all about WMMR.com.
You can just sort of give those away.
And another sticker.
Well, these are fun to put on strangers' cars.
Yes.
Like if somebody parks in your spot, put this on their bumper.
And then we've got the television series Flash Forward.
It was canceled, wasn't it?
Yeah, it didn't do so well.
Yeah, I know.
I heard it was good, though, and it ended completely unresolved.
Another video game, Backbreaker.
And, wow, there's so much stuff in here.
This is like Christmas Day.
Dead Rising 2.
That's pretty good.
Yeah, you guys brought a good bag of stuff.
What's this one called?
Street Fighter 4?
I'm not good with Roman numerals.
I don't know why Street Fighters are listed by
Roman numerals. Oh, my CD!
Doug Bedsen, professional
humoridian.
What is this?
What the hell is it? Oh, 6 a.m.
That's Nikki Sixx band.
Oh, okay.
So we'll just leave that out.
Green Day.
Green Day.
Oh, sweet.
Yeah, I like them.
Well, guess what?
You're not eligible to win it.
Those are just the angry balloon people.
They're just like, fuck Green Day.
Everything's stupid. This game's dumb.
Oh, and then Bruce Springsteen, The Promise.
This is an extremely
eclectic bag of stuff.
One of the better gift packs ever.
That's big time.
This is amazing. Thank you so much, everybody, for bringing all this stuff in.
And I will return it all to the bag now,
and then we'll play the game.
You guys ready for the Leonard Maltin game?
All set.
Yeah!
I swear there's two copies of Blue Valentine.
All right, here we go. I swear there's two copies of Blue Valentine. Alright.
Here we go.
Steve is playing for...
Alex.
Preston is playing for Tony,
who wrote it in Tron style.
Nikki is playing for Anna,
who wrote it on a banana.
One of the bananas that was featured
in the tailpipe in Beverly Hills Cop.
We're not going to fall for the banana in the tailpipe.
A banana in the tailpipe.
And Graham is playing for the family crest
of Lindsay.
And someone in the audience just yelled,
fuck you, Lindsay.
Jesus, he's mean.
Yeah, so there's a lot of scores to settle here tonight.
Let me get out my iPhone.
It's got the Leonard Maltin app.
Oh, I got a voicemail from Arj Barker.
Weren't we talking about him today?
Maybe.
Somebody brought him up at some point today,
like, how's Arj Barker doing?
I was like, he's in Australia all the time.
And then I just got
a message from him.
It probably just says,
what is that?
Like, he is clinging
to what's up.
Like, that's still hilarious.
It's coming back.
Like, that's still
a hilarious thing to say.
All right, so we'll start,
we'll start down here
on this end with Steve, and we'll start down here on this end with
Steve and we'll work our way around to
Graham, Nicky, and then Preston.
We'll start with you. You get to pick
a category.
I'll name three categories
and then you choose one. Sometimes
the audience likes to yell which ones they want you to choose.
But do not listen to them
because they are not you.
They do not possess your mind.
These choices are so you can narrow it down
to something that works for you.
And are you familiar with the character actor Michael Rooker?
Yes, I am.
I think it would be excellent casting
for you to play his brother in something.
Henry too?
Sure.
Yeah.
Oh yeah, we talked about him a little bit today.
That's right.
He's been on the show, so I made him a category.
So it's the films of Michael Rooker.
And then a category built especially for today,
movies filmed in Philadelphia.
Filmed in Philly.
So that narrows it down
to all the M. Night Shyamalan movies.
Oh, and I should say,
an extra clue on filmed in Philly,
none of the movies that I picked
are about boxing or AIDS.
Okay.
Because you guys have heard enough about that.
About both of those.
You've heard enough about both of those things.
There was that statue to AIDS out at the art museum.
And your third category is a very popular category called In Theaters Now.
And that's motion pictures that are in theaters now.
Which one would you like?
Michael Rooker, filmed in Philly,
or in theaters now?
Let me see.
And I spelled filmed in Philly,
I spelled filmed with a PH.
Very good.
Thank you.
Filmed in Philly.
Alright, here we go.
You gotta go there.
Come on.
Hometown.
Watch me F this up.
You get some hometown advantage going.
All right.
Would you like a filmed in Philly movie from 2007, 2008, or 2009?
Let's go...
Please don't yell out answers if you know it.
Yeah, yeah, seriously.
This part, no yelling out.
This is for real.
Yeah, Graham is being serious right now. This is my serious seriously, this part, no yelling out. This is for real.
Graham is being serious right now.
This is my serious face. Let's go in the middle.
Let's go 2008.
2008.
This is a movie that was, you know, I can't vouch for what I read on the Internet.
All right.
But this movie was filmed all or in part in Philadelphia.
Leonard Maltin gives it three and a half stars.
And he says that it has a no-holds-barred script,
and he also says that
the performance of the lead actor is a tour de force.
It's a tour de force,
and it has a, what do I say about the script?
It's no holds barred.
No holds barred.
Tour de force.
Yeah, the clues
generally don't help.
Okay.
Three and a half stars.
I could agree with that.
I wouldn't give it
more or less,
I don't think.
And there are
nine names.
How many names
do you think you can get in?
All right.
Steve Morrison.
Alright.
I'm very nervous here because I'm bad under pressure
with this. I'm going to
say I can name it in
five names.
I know that's conservative. Solid opening bid.
People are
applauding your opening bid.
You really have
the home field advantage here.
Graham?
I'll go four.
He says four names.
So now Nikki, you can go lower.
Name that movie.
Name that movie.
First person to two points wins
and they win this fabulous prize package
for the audience member they're playing for.
Graham is playing for Lindsay.
Three and a half stars.
The subject is filmed in Philadelphia,
and it's a no-holds-barred script,
and the lead actor gives a tour de force performance,
and your five names are?
Don't yell it out.
Four.
Four.
I'm going to give him 17 names.
Good call,, Nicky. His four names are
Ajay Naidoo,
the great
Ajay Naidoo,
Ernest Miller,
Judah Friedlander,
that's an interesting
clue. Steve
says he knows it and Wass Stevens
W-A-S-S Stevens
Wass Stevens
and boy that fifth name I'll tell you right now
that one would turn it for everybody in this room
everyone would know what it is if you had
one more name Graham so good job
it's uh
it's the Harvey Peacore movie
um What do you think it is? It's the Harvey Pekor movie.
I don't think Harvey Pekor lived in Philadelphia.
Unless they faked it
and filmed it here.
Well, it's not that movie then.
But yeah, Judah Friedlander
was in that.
Did a great job.
Fuck.
Yeah, he's so good in that.
Nothing?
If you were focused on that one,
then I fucked up.
You're probably not going to be able to re...
Then I will definitely have to say that it's...
American Splendor?
The Lady in the Water.
I don't know what it is.
I don't know what it is.
No holds barred.
It's not The Happening.
It's not Lady in the Water.
It's not Devil.
It's not The Village.
It's not Sixth Sense.
It's not that one with Rosie O'Donnell and the little boy.
Yeah, M. Night Shyamalan made a no-twist movie
before he made Sixth Sense.
I forget what it was called now.
Somebody's sneezing over there.
They're allergic to M. Night Shyamalan.
I'll go down to helium tonight,
but if they talk about M. Night Shyamalan,
I'm going to have a fucking sneezing fit.
And no guess at all, Graham?
Fuck.
I know it's going to kill me
the minute you say it.
All right, point goes to Nicky. Yeah, what is it? But what do you think it is, Steve? The. I know it's going to kill me the minute you say it. Alright, point goes to Nicky.
Yeah, what is it? But what do you think it is, Steve?
The Wrestler? Yes.
It's The Wrestler.
Yeah, I forgot Judah was in The Wrestler.
And No Holds Barred.
Yeah, that's a good little pun there.
But then the next name is going to be Todd Berry.
And that
completely gives it
away because he was like the dick that he worked for
In the grocery store
Who was Judah Friedlander?
I can't even picture
He's the sort of slimy promoter
You wouldn't recognize him
His hair is slicked back
He looks totally different
Well congratulations
Nikki's got a point everybody
So since we didn't even get around to him Let's start with Preston everybody. Hannah.
So, since we didn't even get around to him, let's start with Preston.
You get to pick
a category. Would you like
sports?
Yeah, that's sports
with an exclamation point.
Because this movie's about sports.
Also, Alan McKee
suggested on Twitter that I do Dudley, Demi, or Julianne.
Which is more movies.
Right.
All more movies.
And then Marshman3030 suggested Bad Air Day, which is movies with the word air in the title.
So would you like air, Dudley, Demi, or Julianne, or sports?
I want to go with sports.
All right.
People support your decision.
Would you like a sports movie
from 1988, 1992,
or 1996?
96, yeah.
This is the most polite
crowd I've been in front of in a while, because
normally people yell out which one they think the guest should pick
And it's always so weird
Because it's like why would the guest go with a number
Just because you yelled for it
I don't get it
But anyway
This is a sports film
Leonard Maltin gives it three and a half stars
I can't disagree.
He says that the lead actor's earnestness is perfect for the part.
And he says that the lead actor's co-star is a real find.
I'll give you one more clue just to really lay it on.
Bo Bridges appears unbilled.
Somebody thinks they know it.
Big Bo Bridges fan in the crowd.
Fuck Jeff.
I'm into Bo.
The Fabulous Baker
Boys go to the Super Bowl.
And there's 14 names, Preston.
How many names do you think you can get it in?
What was the second clue?
I don't know.
A real find.
Oh, the lead.
The lead.
Opposite the lead is a real find.
Real find.
I'm going to say...
Earnestness.
Yeah, I'll go five.
Five?
Yeah.
Bold opening bid.
So we come over here to Steve,
and you can go lower names,
or you can say name it.
Name it.
All right.
Wow, he says name it.
I'll give you the clues one more time.
There's one person in it and another person in it.
And Bo Bridges was in it.
All right.
Uncredited.
Yeah.
And you get five names, right?
1996, okay.
Yeah, 96, sports movie.
Lucy Alexis Liu?
To me, that's Lucy Liu.
That's Lucy Liu, right?
Yeah.
Maybe back then she was working with Alexis as a middle name.
Alexandra Wentworth? Jan Wenner, Eric Stoltz, and Glenn Frey.
Those are your five names.
Eric Stoltz.
Some people definitely know it.
Glenn Frey and Bo Bridges.
It's a sports movie.
Eric Stoltz. Glenn Fry.
Believe it or not,
Glenn Fry is kind of...
That should be a great clue.
Don't yell it out. Don't say anything.
Again, the next name is the giveaway name.
Fuck.
If you'd have had six names, you totally would have gotten it.
96.
So I'd say just name a sports
movie that was around 96 and maybe you'll get
lucky yeah and Bo Bridges I'm terrible the else I think it's a football movie
and I'm trying to think of what people are either whispering what they think
the answer is or they're talking about their bills that just came out.
Shit.
Damn, Eric Stoltz. Pressure's on, right?
Yeah, Eric Stoltz.
I mean, he couldn't have been
an athlete.
He's a pretty wimpy guy, right?
Yeah, well, you know,
I can't really discuss this
with you at this point.
Understood.
Understood.
Man.
I think the point's
going to go to Steve.
I think so.
Just to take a guess, and this is not it,
because I know nobody that you mentioned is in that movie,
but the only movie that's coming to mind around that time
was Remember the Titans.
No, it's not Remember the Titans.
No.
Give me the next name.
Jonathan Lipnicki.
Jerry Maguire.
Shit.
Jerry Maguire? Jerry Maguire? Shit. Jerry Maguire?
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
Who the hell is Eric Stoltz in that movie?
I don't remember.
He plays one of the agents.
He does, yeah.
He plays one of the agents at the big agency.
Yeah.
Yeah, there was a while there where Eric Stoltz was actually a PA.
Yeah, there was a while there where Eric Stoltz was actually a PA.
Like, he actually took a big paycheck cut and just got a regular job as a PA on Say Anything.
And he has a small part in that movie.
And then I guess he also has a small part in Jerry Maguire.
But I had forgotten about that.
But Jan Wenner, of course, is the publisher of Rolling Stone. Rolling Stone, yeah.
And Glenn Frey.
Did Glenn Frey play an agent as well?
No, I think Glenn Frey was a coach.
He played the owner of the Arizona Cardinals.
Right? The rest of the
names are all solid giveaways. Regina King,
Bonnie Hunt, Jay Moore, Jerry
O'Connell, Kelly Preston, Renee
Zellweger, Cuba Gooding Jr.,
and Tom Cruise.
Steve's got a point, everybody.
Thank you.
That would have been...
Very exciting.
We'll start with Graham on this one.
Would you like
Prime movies?
Those are movies, this was suggested by a dude
named Matt Faraday over the internet.
Prime movies are movies where the title
has a prime number in it.
Yeah, so you gotta know what prime numbers are
to do well in this category.
Then someone on Twitter named
atjimmyzimmy suggested,
and I love this,
Brian and Brian Doyle Murray movies.
Wow.
There's a handful of movies that star Bill Murray
and his brother Brian Doyle Murray is also in it.
Yeah.
And then Bros Not Hoes
was suggested by someone named Tank, T-A-N-Q-U-E.
And that
category means movies that were directed
by brothers.
A brother team directed these movies.
Okay, I will go with
the Bill and Brian Doyle Murray category.
I like that.
People love that
choice. Would you like
a Bill and Brian Doyle Murray
movie from
1980,
1984,
or 1993?
Silence is golden.
I will go...
I will go...
People in the audience are making noises.
I will go... Just to fill in for this awkward silence. I will go... I will go... People in the audience are making noises.
I will go... Just to fill in for this awkward silence.
I will go...
That's what a guy did.
I hope I'm not making fun of a handicapped person.
He's been watching the whole show patiently,
but he can't take that you're even dumber than him.
the whole show patiently, but he can't take that you're even dumber
than him.
He was just thinking about that
uncredited Bo Bridges appearance.
Ah!
How amazing
that was. Which one would you like,
Graham? Okay, I will go
I will go, what is it, 80, 80
84 and 93?
Yes. I will go 84 what is it, 80, 84, and 93? Yes. I will go 84.
Okay.
1984.
Two and a half stars from Leonard Maltin.
Yeah.
Possibly generous.
He calls this movie ambitious,
and he says that warts
warts and all
it's still an interesting film
but two and a half stars interesting
so those are some serious warts
and there are
nine names
how many names do you think you can get it in
Graham Elwood
minus two How many names do you think you can get it in? Graham Elwood.
Minus two.
This is some crazy shit.
So, Nikki, he's put you in the unfortunate position of having to either go negative three names,
which means you have to name the movie and the top three names.
Name that movie.
All right.
I believe the movie is Scrooge,
and I believe it is Bill Murray and John Forsythe.
No!
No! No!
Does any... No, you're supposed to...
You're not out of it completely yet.
Don't kill yourself yet.
But what do you guys think it is?
Razor's Edge.
Razor's Edge is right.
Oh, Steve knew it.
That's awesome.
Yeah, Razor's Edge.
That's a tough one.
Saeed, Jeffrey, Brian Doyle-Murray, Peter Vaughn, James Keech,
Denholm Elliott, Catherine Hicks.
She just won.
She's got two points.
Tracer Russell and Bill Murray.
Awesome.
Scott, you got two already?
Yeah.
Fuck.
There were two times you were supposed to guess it
and you got it wrong both times?
No, I said name that movie twice.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
Graham got it wrong twice.
Yeah.
So he just called me
a loser.
You guys turn on me so quickly.
Yeah, go for it, you faggot.
I have to apologize,
Graham, when I told you not to kill yourself. I was wrong.
Now you do need to kill yourself.
I didn't realize the whole
game was over.
God damn it. But nicely done.
Yeah.
Mickey Glazer.
So who were you playing for?
Anna.
Anna Banana?
Where you at, Anna?
Back in the back, right there.
Lindsey, I apologize to you and your family.
Can you take this huge bag of stuff to her?
Hold it from the bottom, because it'll break.
Don't forget, 93.3
WMMR rocks.
Yes.
It says so on the bag, and everything on a bag is true.
Congratulations, Anna.
Yay, Anna.
Thank you.
And where's Lindsay that Graham was playing for?
Okay, I've got your shithead.
But I need a shithead for whoever...
You think that's it? Is that it, really?
Okay, so it's written on the back.
You guys really came to play
because you guys wrote on the back of your name tags
who to call a shithead.
I'm really proud of you, Philadelphia.
I hope you enjoyed yourselves,
and I will certainly try to come back
and do this here again, because I had a blast.
If you're in the mood for road tripping
to see another one of these, we're going to do
a taping at the Comedy
Factory in Baltimore on August
3rd.
Baltimore's not that far, right?
But to look at all
my tour dates, you can go to
douglasmovies.com.
Thank you again so much.
Let's hear it for all my guests.
Graham Elwood.
Where do they get Laugh-ganistan?
Where can they get Laugh-ganistan?
You lose it.
You just go to comedyfilmnerds.com.
It's right there on the homepage.
Thank you so much.
And Lindsay, I'm sorry.
One more time for Nikki Glaser, everybody.
You're our big winner.
Nikki, see you soon.
Who, I mean, what's the name of your podcast again?
You Had To Be There.
All right, so go look for You Had To Be There on iTunes.
And Preston Elliott and Steve Morrison.
I just learned their last names a few hours ago.
You can get the Preston and Steve daily download of their radio show
minus all the commercials and stuff as a podcast
on iTunes. Thank you so much for being here,
you guys. Really appreciate it.
Awesome.
Alright, get ready
with the end music. It's coming soon.
As always,
Terry is a shithead.
Yeah, just Terry. No last
names.
Everyone named Terry is a shithead. Charles Everyone named Terry is a shithead.
Charles Leckie is a shithead.
I hope that's not like somebody that won the Nobel Peace Prize or something.
And I'm sitting there calling him a shithead.
And this is a good one. This is a really good one.
It's not as good as Elton John's Baby, but...
But, as
always, Mayor McCheese is a
shithead. He hasn't fought for colonels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see.
Just not those movies.