Doug Loves Movies - Marc Maron, Anna Mazza and Geoff Tate guest
Episode Date: May 27, 2019Live from Comedy on State in Madison, Doug welcomes Marc Maron, Anna Mazza and Geoff Tate to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free mont...h of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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There's still not one that he won't see.
The Doug Mouser King. Ma pō te ki mōsui kutaka Tō ki! Hey, hey, hey everybody
My name is Doug and I love movies.
This is
I Love Movies.
Coming to you
once again.
It's been too long.
It's been so long
this is no longer
a comedy club
under a bank.
Now it's a comedy club
under a former
now empty
ghost bank.
That's right. We're at Comedy Odd State in Madison, Wisconsin! Oh boy you guys, the memories I have here are not that many.
But that's more of a memory loss problem.
I remember the Sklar brothers.
I remember Mark Wahlberg
was here one time.
Yeah.
Graham Elwood was here.
I always have a great time
here at this club.
It's Saturday, May 25th, 2019.
And it has...
There's a guy...
Oh, this guy's fucking mad for dates.
You say a date, he will clap.
Like, your name is Rudy.
He'll put you on his shoulders.
I like... you know,
can't complain about enthusiasm.
Even when it's weird.
But the question I was going to ask is,
did you guys remember how to make name tags?
I thought you might,
because Madison has always been a stronghold of name tag technology.
It's like you guys don't have anything else to do here other than like this guy over here where he's Dick-tective Pikachu.
And he's even wearing a Pikachu hoodie to really Pikachu it up.
Good job, Dick.
to really Pikachu it up.
Good job, Dick.
So many to choose from.
Stand by Marin and the Alex Chainsaw Massacre featured currently on my Instagram
until I delete it.
Padding.
Just kidding.
Padding Tony, too.
That's a good one.
Mary Potter.
Ho, ho, ho. I don't think I've ever seen that.
Be quiet, Mary Potter.
That's a terrible Maggie Smith impression.
But great job, everybody.
Wait, what's this? Pop-Tart Mall Cop?
But great job, everybody.
Wait, what's this Pop-Tart Mall Cop?
Is that like what you've always called that movie?
Because I love to give movies names that are not their name.
Sometimes it's just something that sounds very similar.
Like, I can never say Madagascar.
I have to say Mad-ass gas car.
So good job, dude.
Doug plugs.
Doug Loves Movies is back.
It used to be Franklin in L.A.
on Tuesday, May 28th.
The Cannabis and Cheese Tour starts June 1st at Laugh Boston
and ends June 9th in D.C.
at the Improv.
All shows that week are going to,
I'm doing stand-up and Doug Loves Movies,
depending on the city,
and all of those will feature the great Dale Cheeseman.
That's why it's called Cannabis and Cheese Tour,
even though I could just call it that,
and it was just me.
For all my dates and deets and links,
go to DougLovesMovies.com.
That's DougLovesMovies.com!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Oh, yeah!
It's my fuck!
Sir, we're not adding
a very emphatic butt fuck
to the end of that.
I will walk off
if that catches on.
And now I feel like it will catch on.
And that's not right.
Trying to do a very positive show here.
Just bring people laughter and sunshine
and not buttfuck.
Maybe if you'd have said it in a sweeter tone.
Buttfuck!
No, still bad.
Let's do some dugouts.
I want to do a dugout to the places I ate here in Madison yesterday and today.
This is so far.
I've been to Senior Machetes,
Hopcat, Crack Fries,
and Ian's Pizza.
Don't come to Madison without going to Ian's Pizza,
I like to say.
To hear me talk more about eating,
be sure to check out Dining with D&K wherever you listen to podcasts.
And also a dugout to Booksmart opened this weekend.
And I got to say, hashtag Doug digs it.
The prize bag today is, you know, I brought some stuff.
Had to fly in, you know, so might have gotten some of this stuff
on the airplane.
You know, it's right there.
Like a delicious kind
bar.
Yeah. I have no
kind of interest in that.
So I'm passing
the deliciousness, in case
they're a future sponsor,
on to you.
Box Brown, very talented man, was on my show Getting Done With High.
He gave me a couple of t-shirts I would never wear.
This one says, honk if I'm horny.
I don't need that.
People honk enough of me and scream super high me.
I don't need that extra incentive for people to honk and yell.
And then this one's pretty fun, I've got to admit.
It's just not my color.
This one says, weed limit 69.
She got sex and cannabis in one hilarious...
and cannabis in one hilarious...
short. I also included a copy of, I always bring magazines from the previous city, but I got a magazine called Smoke Cartel
from smokecartel.com, so I threw that in here.
Then there's a Douglas Movies sticker sticker And a, oh my goodness
A tiny kind bar
Oh my god, this fucker
Procreated in my bag
Without a partner
Which I think only seahorses can do
That's not the one, there's an animal
That's not the one.
There's an animal.
And if you remind me as you're leaving,
because I'll be by the door for free photographs and autographs,
but I'll also be there with some Doug Benson pins
that you can purchase for $10 cash only.
If you really only have a 20, just get two.
And I'll be at the door with those
and I'll include one of those for the
prize winner today they'll save them the $10
all of that
plus stuff brought by my guests
should we get them out here?
I think you're going to like it.
Please give it up for Anna Meza, Mark Maron, and Jeff Tate. Thank you. You guys,
don't do this to Mark.
He's already,
he's already like,
I'm not going to be very good at the games.
What am I going to do?
I get a DM from you on Twitter.
I'm working the club.
Would you do Doug Loves Movies?
What am I going to be like?
No, fuck you, Doug.
I'm busy in Madison at 4.30.
Well, you'd be surprised.
Some of my comedian friends are busy
in the most random places.
I didn't think Tom Segura would have plans in Charlotte,
but he did.
I'd like to hear what those were.
Went to school there and has school friends there.
Oh, yeah.
So it was legit.
It was legit.
But it's always fun to drop his name
because he's huge.
I mean, he's doing very well.
And he is getting bigger.
He keeps getting bigger.
He is getting bigger.
In every sense, it's true.
He's not tape big.
Nah.
He wishes.
Already.
That's already getting very content very contentious up here.
I do that immediately.
I'm sorry.
You jump right in.
I'm sorry.
I love you, Jeff.
I apologize.
Yeah, you just met Anna.
Oh, was that in Berg?
Yeah.
He asked me to sit in between them in case of anything.
That's right.
You and Camille were right next to each other.
That might have been part of the problem.
No.
That would have happened no matter how far away from me you were.
Hang on.
Was that a burn?
Oh, you mean before?
Five minutes ago?
Yeah.
Did I get burned?
It got stuck somewhere before it actually got into you.
Yeah.
Thanks.
Yeah.
Thanks, Mike. The burn hit your weed shield
and dropped to the ground
let's meet them individually you guys
because we've almost heard from all of them already
I want to make sure everybody knows which voice belongs to which person
give it up for Anna Meza second time on the show
really I rarely have a first time guest
like you in Lexington that gets the positive response
that I got people loved you on the show
immediately
it was the meanest place.
The internet was the nicest place to me.
So a lot of marriage proposals, a lot of wiener pictures.
No, no wiener pictures.
At first I thought you said waiter pictures.
Yeah.
And then when I figured out it was wiener, I was like, why would she, why?
It's the expression's dick pics.
We've all agreed that that's the expression, not Wiener photographs.
Wiener still images of penis.
No, everybody's been really nice, shockingly.
So, thanks.
Yes, people are very excited about her.
So, I was like, I bet you she's going to want to drive seven hours to Madison to do a show under a former bank.
I had to walk a half a block.
I'm kidding to you.
It's not a contest, Mark.
I thought it was.
I thought it was the whole idea.
Is that what you think contentious means?
Isn't it connected?
Aren't they similar?
Don't they have the same prefix or something?
Yeah, they come from the same root.
Yeah.
Oh, look at Professor Tate over there.
Yeah, yeah.
Definitely on vacation, aren't you, Professor?
I'm tenured.
As soon as I got tenured, I was like, I'm fucking, I'm changing my clothes.
Finally, a professor that dresses like Skipper and Gilligan.
Right?
Interestingly enough, Doug, I do teach maritime law.
So that's why I dress like this
if you're in trouble on the water
fucking give me a call
no one's arguing with you
that's Mark Maron, everybody. Thank you.
This is almost like a prank show that I devised this just to force you
to come over here and participate.
You really are staying so close by
that it would be weird to say no.
Plus, you enjoy sitting.
You enjoy amplification.
I do.
You enjoy laughter.
This is fun, right?
It's starting to happen, yeah.
I'm feeling something.
Plus, it's an amazing promotional platform.
We've got season three, the final season of Easy,
is on Netflix right now, yes.
That's exactly the number of people that watch it.
Was that reaction...
You said a Netflix show, Easy, and people were like,
no, I don't know.
You know, there's so many platforms.
It was good, though. That last season, I did a good job.
I will say that.
It's a good show,
and people like you.
I don't know, man.
Not enough people.
What about the other show?
Yes, of course, Glow on Netflix.
Yeah!
People like that one.
That's back when?
August.
Are you allowed to say? I don't know.
Oh, I love it.
It's all I got. Sometimes I'll get into
one of those
internet places
if one of my guests accidentally says
when their show is coming back.
Oh, really? They get in trouble?
Yeah. But you know what kind of trouble that is.
It's like, well, you're the star of the show,
so we can do nothing to you.
Yeah, you get a letter that politely says... But we're going to express our disapproval.
Yeah, yeah. The weird letter.
It's like, hey, we sort of put the word out
that maybe you shouldn't, like, do a done, did it.
Yeah, like Mark Ruffalo didn't stop being the Hulk
when he was out there
giving away dandy.
I mean, he did kind of
stop being the Hulk.
Yeah, shut up.
Is it too early for spoilers?
Do you even see
an Avengers movie, Mark?
I did not.
I saw the posters.
Is this whole show
going to be on the Avengers?
Interestingly enough,
it is hashtag
international Avengers day.
Just to make me look stupid again.
I can do that in my room
by myself. I don't that in my room by myself.
I don't think people
could treat you stupid
for not knowing
who plays Scarlet Witch
or any of the other references
that I don't know either.
All right.
Yeah, there might be
an Avengers question.
That's all right.
It's not going to be
Avengers based.
Yeah.
That movie came out
weeks ago.
Right now, I'm all about
John Wick 3.
Yeah.
Oh fuck, I should just go.
Full title,
John Wick chapter 3,
Parabellum.
Is it good?
Do you know what the word Parabellum means?
It means let's do this.
I think, right?
Is that what they say in the movie?
No, you're thinking of Carpe Diem.
No, that's let's do this today.
No.
All right, so I guess we have to go.
Sorry, Mark, that you have to go through this again.
I know you feel like you're going to lose today,
but Jeff Tate is here.
This is the best.
I'm like that guy on Jeopardy.
People like me who like that show,
but outside of that show, nobody likes me.
Just like that guy on Jeopardy.
The guy that's winning now won't lose?
Yeah.
Yeah, he keeps going, right?
Can they kick him off?
Is there a point where they're like,
get the fuck out of here, you had enough?
I think their thing now is that you can go indefinitely. And Ken Jennings went
the longest and now this guy beat Ken Jennings I think. Ken Jennings is like, thank God, I don't,
I'm tired of being that guy. I want to do some calendar modeling. I'll tell you, he holds up a calendar nicely.
Mark, your thoughts?
I was just thinking dark thoughts. I was thinking this guy might be there for the actual changing of the host.
Yeah, that could be what they put an end to.
All right, so what?
I told you it was dark.
I gave you a fucking warning.
I couldn't be happier that I stopped
to make sure you said that.
Because that is my thought, too.
I think Alex should pick somebody before.
I think he should pass it on specifically.
Maybe that should be the final prize
that the guy gets.
Oh yeah, he gets to host Jeopardy?
And it's just stuff he knows.
Like he doesn't have a car.
Ken Jennings would be bummed.
When he says he doesn't
want the gig, but he's being polite.
He'd be perfect for it.
He'd be a perfect person to take over.
Somebody that's great at it.
Because remember when Alex Trebek won on Jeopardy?
Yeah, yeah.
In 1981?
He won all five days one week,
and they let him be the host forever.
But it was Celebrity Jeopardy,
so it was super easy.
And he had the answers on cards.
That's the only time
I watch it is Celebrity Jeopardy,
because then I know the answers.
It's fun to play.
It's suddenly like, wow, wheel is hard.
It's like they're getting the questions
from a TV Guide crossword puzzle.
Blanks landing.
Oh, wait, let me think.
It's Sully.
Sully's.
What do you got for the prize bag, Mark?
I have a nice poster of me
that I will sign personally
to the person that wins it.
It's got a Sharpie right on there.
And that can go right up on eBay.
And that can go right up on eBay.
I did not know that site was still up at all.
Is it not?
No, somebody bought it.
Is there another site?
Yeah, somebody bid really high on eBay.
To buy eBay.
Am I living five years ago?
What's happening?
Did you know Chrome is the number one search engine?
No.
And has been for 10 years?
No.
It's true.
Really?
I was on GSN yesterday.
Really?
The game show? Yeah.
Did it work?
No.
It's a drug.
I was on GSN.
It's.
What did you bring for the prize bag, Anna?
I brought. I made another candle.
Oh, such a hit the first time.
That candle is called Homemade Apple Guy.
I kind of burnt it again.
Oh, that's a good smell.
Do you like smells, Mark?
Yeah.
That's nice, Jeff.
Yeah, I like smelling.
And then I brought a lighter.
Hey, hey, hey.
Puff, puff, pass.
I brought a lighter.
It's a wolf howling into a fire.
A wolf?
What is that?
Is it a wolf?
That's one of those, like, you know, those T-shirts, like, kind of thing.
Yeah.
Right?
Or like on the side of a van.
The wolf face, and then behind it, another wolf face doing a different thing.
The howling wolf is my uncle,
but the one that's in the foreground is my dad.
And then it's the R.I.P.'s, right?
If you can't stand me at my wolf,
you don't get me at my howling in the fire wolf.
And then this is a Tito's bandana
I did wear it
Once
I went to Calgary
And I hiked at Banff National Park
So you're welcome
I feel like I didn't bring enough stuff
Maybe one of my shoes.
And then, well, one more thing.
Here, do you want this? God damn it.
Do you want this?
How about my belt? Do you want my belt?
Yeah, actually, I do.
Holy shit, yeah, actually.
You'll get through to TSA quicker without it.
And this my grandma gave me for Christmas,
but you know how grandmas be.
This is called backyard birding flashcards.
Is that a dirty thing?
dirty flashcards.
Is that a dirty thing?
Is it in any relation to Dory's dumplings or whatever that place is called?
Is it a game or just something?
I have no idea.
They're untouched, as you can see.
Whatever it is, it's pristine.
They're those.
Wow. Good times. Yeah, that is
really... I think
you're supposed to sit there and see if you see the bird
on the card. Yeah, it's like bird
watching. You can learn about them, their genus.
Yeah, you're like, oh, what's that bird over there?
Then you find the one that it looks like.
You know? Yeah.
It's good practice for in case you ever have to
pick somebody out of a police lineup.
Yeah.
Or right, like, if you're in a post-apocalyptic scenario and you have to know which ones are poisonous.
Yeah.
Or you can know swans.
Some birds are poison, Mark.
Is that true?
Yeah.
Swans, in there, I did read one, swans only mate during a full moon.
And that's not true at all.
But you can learn that if you have the cards.
I think I know what that game...
The object of the game is probably like you see a bird
and then you have to find the card before it flies away.
And then you just go, fuck!
I throw the card
at the bird
you know how to
it'd be a fun game
I could do it
you can't
of course you can
you got a lot of time
that was an afternoon
right
you remember that afternoon
I should be able
to figure this out
it's true
you just try
long enough you it might happen.
Do you know how to juggle?
A little bit.
That's another couple days.
I can kind of do everything that's a skill you should really learn all the way.
But I don't have that kind of time.
You're like a seven of all trades.
I wish. I wish.
I wish a seven.
That's really high up there.
Jeff, what do you got besides really colorful pants?
I have a copy of my album.
Yes.
Title redacted.
Title redacted. It's too long long to say you don't have it already
you don't probably don't even have a way to play it but it will remind you it's on spotify
i saw indiana jones in the temple of doom at the alamo draft house in denver last week
and it turned out to be one of those talk-alongs where they gave out things to do.
So there was a kazoo and a stress ball heart for when they pulls the heart out at the end of the movie.
You're just supposed to sit there and squeeze your own heart?
Do you look at other strangers while you're squeezing and go, we're doing it.
Like that guy.
Right, you do it at the same time.
You just squeeze it and go, this is why PG-13 exists.
Because that movie was, you know,
PG rated and a man reaches into
another man and pulls his heart out.
That's when the people went, oh,
maybe we should come up with a new rating.
Really?
Yeah.
I like the beginning of it, but the rest of it
was a little too churchy.
I don't like
any movie that pushes a religion on me.
Anyway, there's that garbage.
Thank you for bringing...
Why were people...
At what point were people encouraged to kazoo
during Indiana Jones?
Whenever the theme song played.
I don't even know how to do it.
I don't even know how to do it.
Changes the whole dynamic of the scene.
It's like you're suddenly watching Patch Adams.
I mean, it doesn't make it better.
You know what?
I'm not a seven on kazoo.
I need a little more practice on that.
Really?
That's an easy one, I think.
Okay.
Yeah, you're right.
I have mastered it.
Finally, something.
Then I found this movie on DVD and I already had it,
but this guy was selling it,
or renting it, actually.
There's a rental store in Asheville.
But if the price is right,
he'll sell it to you.
And the price was $5.
And the rental was $2.
So I bought it for whoever wins today.
It's called The Driver. It's from the 70s it's but it's not
like streaming anywhere so it's the only way to see it but it's fucking dope it's a car chase
movie from the 70s Bruce Dern's in it Bruce Dern is in it he was in everything in the 70s
everything what is it about that driver it's about a guy. No, it is very
stripped down. It's very stripped down.
Baby Driver was partially
inspired by it because it's
Ryan O'Neill plays the
driver. That's the only name he goes by
in the entire movie. And Bruce Dern
is like the dick.
As in detective.
And then the lady
character, she's the twat.
It was the 70s.
It was a different time.
Yeah, it was a different time.
It was the 70s.
What was that other movie,
that driving movie?
Oh, Vanishing Point.
What was that guy's name?
Barry Newman?
I'm already winning the game.
Yeah, this was the game.
You're doing great at it. All of that is going in
the prize bag. What a wonderful prize bag we have assembled. All in a bag that is too flimsy to carry everything. So good luck.
Good luck to everybody.
And I got a question for everybody
before we get to the games part, Mark.
Don't stress.
Do you need this?
Do you want to hold on to this?
I gave him the Tito's bandana.
Now he gets it. I gave him the Tito's bandana. Now he gets it.
I gave him the wolf lighter.
So many great stress relievers in here.
I'm just rubbing his shoulders.
Let him smell the candle.
I'm going to smell the candle again.
It's really good, huh?
I mixed it myself.
But is that like,
the candle,
so it smells like,
so people are just going to
walk into your house
and go like
are you cooking pie?
And you're like
no.
Yeah.
Thanks.
I'm a shitty person.
I don't think
I was implying that.
No I'm just kidding.
What should you
people are going to go
who's burning vanilla?
Yeah.
It's to hide the farts.
Yeah. Right. So hide the farts.
Right, so in Mark's scenario,
in Mark's scenario,
you go in and you're disappointed it's not the good thing.
Then what should candles smell like?
Like a four-day-old rotting body?
Did you murder your family?
Oh, you didn't?
Oh, cool.
I thought you murdered your whole family
like a few days ago.
But it's just the candle.
I didn't know how to get
asparagus rotting in the fridge
as a scent, so
apple pie.
Alright, lesson learned.
No nice smelling candle jokes.
Did someone shit the bed?
No, it's my candle.
Sorry, never mind.
It's my art, Mark.
Please respect it.
I can't believe that just came out of my mouth.
Mark Maron's here.
That's crazy
alright
here's the question
is this a game now?
I'll start with Jeff
so by the time
it gets to you
you'll be like
I got this
because it is
simply Jeff Tate what was the last movie you saw?
Aladdin.
No.
Did you hear those people were like, no.
They're so disappointed in me.
This is the stage where I said I liked The Lone Ranger.
You guys are going to sell me out.
Aladdin, turns out, first of all,
he's not blue the whole time.
He's only blue a little bit.
What does that mean?
He looks like Will Smith the rest of the time.
So he's
black and blue?
Well, he switches off between the two.
He's either black or
blue.
Okay.
But other than that, how did you do?
Listen, I had a good time.
I had a good time.
Yeah.
I was all excited to say I liked it, but that was before I knew Mark was going to be on the show.
And now I feel like a real fucking...
Like I wish that I had seen something cool.
No.
I'm glad you saw that.
Jim Jarmusch, director's cut.
Why do people put this on me?
I'm happy you had a good time with this stupid movie.
I'm a simple man, Mark.
Join all you want, dumbass.
Right, it's the best kind of movie to see.
I might be in one of those someday.
I need to make some money.
I'm going to be.
Not that stupid.
You've appeared in some pretty cool stuff.
What was that one you were in a bartender?
I was awake for two minutes.
What's his name?
I want his name.
Need wedding dates.
Was that it? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Mike and Dave his name? I want his name. Need wedding dates. Was that it?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Mike and Dave need wedding dates.
I was in the opening scene.
They flew me to Hawaii.
They needed me to do that 40 seconds.
They're like, they want you.
And I'm like, really?
Yeah, it's just one scene.
They're going to fly you to Hawaii.
I'm like, all right.
And it was like 30 seconds, but it was all right.
Yeah, I think I probably spent a great deal
of time in that movie going is mark gonna come back at some point like why did they establish
him and then you never see him again nope there was nothing else that movie has a lot of questions
that come into your head while you're watching i like i like it seems like mark's thing when he
gets the call he's with his agent he's, did you try to talk him out of it?
You made sure it was me, right?
Not someone else they're looking for?
It really was about Hawaii, really.
I was like, are they going to fly me to Hawaii for a day?
I'm like, fuck it.
Did you see the movie?
Did you see it?
I saw it on the plane.
It was good.
I liked it.
On the way to Hawaii?
He saw the movie on the plane? Yeah, I saw the movie on the plane. It was good. I liked it. On the way to Hawaii? He saw it on the plane?
On the way?
Yeah, he saw the movie on the plane.
It's all right.
That guy's a funny guy, that Divine fella.
Man, I enjoyed that movie.
I liked some good...
He's in that new Danny McBride show on HBO.
It's him and Danny McBride and John Goodman.
And it's about their religious, you know...
Their religious.
Oh, another one of those Indiana Jones?
I was going to say tricksters or con men or something, but no, they're religious.
But they are con men.
They're like going around taking people's money in the name of the Lord.
I mean.
This is Doug Lowe's movies, though, so let's get off of, let's not talk about that TV show anymore.
What was the last movie you saw, Anna?
I went to the theater
and I saw The Aftermath.
Good. Nobody else said
either.
I called it
Sexy Attic Time.
It's with Keira Knightley
and Alexander Skarsgård.
He's like, is he a Nazi? Is he not a Nazi?
And she's like, it doesn't matter.
We'll still go up and dry hump in your attic.
So it's okay.
I thought you said addict.
Addict.
But you mean, you're saying attic.
Attic.
Yeah.
What?
Is this a weird take on the Anne Frank story?
Yeah, it's if Anne Frank and Peter grew up,
and then instead of hiding from Nazis
they are Nazis.
Interesting. Cool.
Anyway.
Look, Game of Thrones is over
and my dumb dragon show
ended dumb so I'm mad.
I guess. Whatever.
Thanks.
And then we never heard from her again.
Did I fuck that all up for you? No.
Mark?
What?
You know what the question is now, right?
I actually saw a screener of You'll Always Be My Maybe,
the new Ali Wong movie with Randall Parks,
that's going to open next week or something,
or on Netflix.
I saw that, so no one knows anything about it.
So there can be no support or anything
from any of the people here.
And I watched a, I think the last one before that,
regular movie, I watched McCabe and Mrs. Miller again.
Is that okay?
Yeah, that's really good.
But let's talk about that first one.
That movie on Netflix, because it is a movie,
but it's on Netflix, so people like to argue about
is that really a movie?
I don't know, I watch it on my computer,
so what the fuck does that mean?
Yeah, Steven Spielberg thinks it's not a movie.
He's fighting Netflix
calling their movies movies.
That's fun.
If they put it in a movie theater
for a week, you know, somewhere
then that's all it needs to qualify as a movie.
Oh, you know what I watched? I watched a movie I was in.
Does that count? Sure.
I watched Sword of Trust
which is going to open in July.
It's a Lynn Chilton movie. Yeah,
that's cool. And it's going to open in movie theaters.
Everybody's psyched about it.
All right.
The excitement in this room is palpable.
Well, I mean, I didn't
go to any new
big movies. You know what I mean?
Those were all good answers, Mark. Settle down.
I got nothing. I got nothing.
I thought everybody would be like,
McKay, Mrs. Miller, fuck yes.
That is a classic.
It's long and it's a little difficult, but it's one of my favorite movies.
Even though they're in the wilderness
in the snow, do the characters
talk over each other like they do in all the
other Altman movies? Of course.
That must be frustrating. You do a lot all the other Altman movies? Of course. Yeah, so that must be frustrating.
Well, no, you do a lot of this.
You're like, wait, what?
Stop it.
Rewind it.
I still didn't hear it.
Did you hear it?
Are you saying this to your cat?
You should, yes.
You should put the captions on.
I guess I could.
Yeah.
That'd be interesting to see captions on an all-in-one movie.
Yeah, because
half sentences.
The person doing the captions
would just quit
20 minutes in.
Fuck this.
Just a lot of
I don't know comes up
in parentheses.
Just keep saying
chatter.
Chatter.
Chatter.
Mumbling.
Laughing.
Exactly how I feel right now.
That movie's okay,
Ali Wong.
I like Ali Wong.
How can you not like Ali Wong?
She's great.
Yeah, she's very likable.
She wrote it.
She wrote it with Randall Park.
Oh, okay.
I don't know if it's Park or Park,
so I hit the S.
I think it's just Park.
I like tuck the S in under the K
just in case I was fucking up.
I went like,
Park piece.
Or you have to just,
the next word has to be,
it was written by Randall Park so good.
I got a lot of shit about Pike Market
in Pike Street Market in Seattle.
Oh, that's neat where they throw the fish?
Yeah, but I said Pikes on Twitter
and it was like as if I just offended a state.
Fucking ridiculous.
It's a pike, man.
Who fucking cares?
The state of Seattle, that's who.
Jesus, Mark.
One of my favorite states.
Keep it down, Mark.
I like the state, but it was an honest mistake.
Clearly it had been made a lot.
Was it a mistake? A lot. It was a mistake?
A mistake.
It's Pike Market.
I apologize to all the people of Seattle.
Seattle's, we're sorry.
We're very sorry, Seattle's.
I can't go back there.
When I go to a city, I know how to pronounce everything
so that the people when I'm on stage
don't get offended by local references
like when I eat pizza at Ion's I know I know what to
call it but this is the part where I say Bert turn it off
Bert Kreischer he doesn't like the games part oh yeah yeah he loved everything
until now the rest of he doesn't care about it. Turn it off, Bert. Let the games begin. Hit him.
So now we can say
shitty things about Bert all the way through?
Yeah, no, that's part of why I bring
it up is because not only does
the audience have things to say,
my guests often do. That guy's
going to
use his phone
to drop a dime on me
but anyway
go ahead and select
a name tag for which you'd like to
play today
you can physically go out there and grab one
and while you guys
figure it out, I know it's tough
we'll go to a brief commercial message
we'll be right back.
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Back to the show.
All right, we're back.
That was very nice name tag selection process.
There was no yelling.
Very civilized.
What do you have there, Geoff?
Geoff tried to check into the hotel today,
and the lady at the front desk calls me and goes,
could you approve the costs of Geoff's room?
Mr. Geoff
is standing in front of me.
Wow.
This is really,
this is one of my nightmares.
I'm like
in the second grade again.
People
saying my name wrong in front of everybody.
Come on.
I mean, you had also just said it to her,
Jeff Tate checking in.
Okay, Geoff.
Yeah, I mean, it's her bad, but let's not plant the seed.
Hey, look, if she believes it, that means it's right.
Let's start a new chant.
Geoff, Geoff, Geoff, Geoff.
Yeah.
That just sounds like everybody wants you to leave.
It doesn't sound good.
Or a pleasure to enjoy yourself.
What do you got there?
I'm playing for Dalton.
Dalton, here's the who.
Oh, that's cute.
Yeah, it's real fun.
He drew a whole thing.
Crayons and everything.
Good job.
Even his child drew it.
I mean, if that's a kid.
Somebody he knows maybe drew it.
It was me.
It was you? Okay.
Those look like grown-up lines.
We'll try to get that back to you
because there's a huge space on the refrigerator
that's empty now.
Look at the...
Look at his haunted eyes, Doug.
This guy's saying some shit.
No, it's...
It's not bad at all.
It's just when...
When it's a podcast
where no one can see it,
you can really...
You can really talk some shit.
What do you got there, Anna?
I have pulp Nick shit.
Nick.
Yeah, it's a dude named Nick.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Why did I pick it?
I don't know.
Who knows why anybody...
Because what if Luma had a beard and glasses and was a man?
Well, and Tarantino just won the Cairns award.
So, you know, there you go.
Honoree.
Whatever.
All right. Fuck it. know, there you go. Honoree. Whatever. All right.
Fuck it.
Yeah, it's good.
I read a cool article
and I try to be cool
and I fucking suck.
So, anyway.
It was good.
It was good.
Thank you so much.
Thank you so much,
Mark.
Yeah,
where do you get
a load of this
garbage Mark picked?
I didn't know you worked in the sanitation industry. Where do you get a load of this garbage Mark picked?
I didn't know you worked in the sanitation industry.
No, it is a good one.
I even posted it on the internet today.
It's Stand by Marin.
Yeah.
And it's got Dan Van Kirk.
Couldn't be here today, but me and Mark are on there.
And Marin.
She's right there.
Great job. She's right there. Great job.
She's sitting right up front and I didn't feel compelled
to look very hard.
There's a lot of people out there
holding shit and I'm like,
this is really important.
And then I picked you.
It had your face on it,
and the spelling's different,
but Marin sounds like Marin.
Marin does, Marin, Marin.
It all came together.
This was perfect.
It's all coming together.
Don't count on me winning.
Don't hang your hope
on this fucking horse.
Boyfriend?
Yeah.
I mean, he's wearing a shirt
that says,
Hey, hey, playa, so she doesn't count on anything.
Might as well just say his shirt says,
Monogamy is for losers.
That's probably another shirt.
Another shirt for another day
That shirt is talking to the people
Who see it
It's not what he's thinking
It's what he says to me
Hey hey player
I'm the player
Not him
You're the player
When you read that
I get it man
I get it
Can I be a player?
Huh? Everyone can be a player? Huh?
Everyone can be a fucking player.
We can do the game or what?
Can I have a Tito's?
Dear Comedy on State.
It's me, Anna.
I would
love a tall tit-toes and
soda.
You know, mine's barely
finished, but I'll take another one too.
Also, can you, P.S.
I should speed up a little bit. P.S., can you
get my friend Doug a tit-toes? Oh, thank you.
Forever yours.
I got a show at 8. Are we going to do this or what?
And it's in this room so maybe
Mark is anxious
to come back
and sit in this chair again
and continue talking
no you know what
without all these
other interruptions
yeah I sit down sometimes
you're looking forward
to your solo show
yes
I thought we were
having a good time.
Why do people
make fun of me sitting?
It's an option.
It's an option.
There's a stool there.
No, I think it's great.
I think it really
establishes,
tells the audience
you don't care.
No, that's a...
In a good way.
In a way of like,
hey, I'm relaxed.
What do I gotta run around
like a fucking idiot?
No, you don't.
I'm glad we finally talked about this.
First of all,
you ever go
onto a thing and then sit on the stool
and then when you come out, the people that work at the club
are like, oh, you sit on the stool?
It's like, well, you motherfuckers put the stool up there.
You're the ones that put it on the stage
and then I'm the asshole because
I sit on the stool that you put up there?
Don't put a fucking stool up there.
It's for a beverage and a
towel. No, they put another
one up there for that. There's two stools up here.
Or a table.
Okay, everyone's
got their drink and
here we go. Thank you. How'd you get a
straw? Do you want it? I have another one.
Break the world.
Break the world.
You know, the straw thing is going to work.
It's going to get us under the wire.
We finally did something that's going to make a difference.
Thank you. Fuck it.
Yeah.
And they're going to look back on this day
and be like, that's when the tide turned
when they figured out straws
were bad
they didn't have to do anything else
nothing it was just straws
well that's because whenever they try to do
anything else all of our uncles go
what no
now you gotta drink it like a
grown-up?
I like to throw things out the window.
How dare
you tell me I can't
throw things out the window?
These poor kids having
to suck on juice boxes.
Oh, kids
today with their bike helmets
and they're not having brain injuries, constant brain injuries.
All right, we're losing Jeff. Let's get started.
Oh, just hang on, man.
This first game we're going to play is called...
Can I guess?
No.
Okay.
Mark wants us to start already.
Oh, yeah, shit.
Take your time.
Okay, go ahead and guess.
Nope.
It's called Characters Welcome.
I am going to name characters.
Thank you. From a
motion picture.
The end credits thereof.
And there's just random things
that are in end credits.
And figure out what movie it is
guess as often as you'd like
pre-guess if you'd like
okay
Jumanji
excellent pre-guess
no
almost famous
don't
god damn you Almost famous. Don't.
God damn you.
That is the answer. That was easy game.
So easy.
All right, Mark.
I picked that movie, of course, because you're in it.
But I know you're not like, you don't stare at the credits of the movie, so.
That one I did.
Would you recognize the names from the movie, you think?
The character names?
I know who the angry promoter was.
Yeah.
Yeah, so you would have,
if Jeff had just held back a little bit there,
you know, you might not have known it
from Arizona Housekeeper
or from Mustache Boy, Acid Kid, Waving Girl.
Oh, that was my aunt.
But once we get into the names, like Dennis Hope, does that ring a bell to you?
Mm-mm.
I think that was who Jimmy Fallon played.
Oh, the manager.
No, he was somebody else.
That wasn't a thing.
Oh, was he Dick Roswell?
Uh-uh.
Was he Russell Hammond?
Russell Hammond was a guitar player.
And then Penny Lane, of course, was the most memorable name, I think.
Oh, and Bangs, the character played by Philip Seymour Hoffman.
That was a memorable name.
Fallon played the manager that they kept referencing.
I can't, maybe it was, I don't know.
I don't know.
And then our friend Nick Swartzen played insane Bowie fan.
Yeah.
He's David Bowie!
David Bowie!
Hedberg was in that too, at the poker game.
Yeah, he was the manager of the Eagles.
Right, with Peter Frampton there.
There were some other people in it, too.
Yeah.
It's full of people, that movie.
Some of them are golden gods.
The mom was real great.
Yeah.
Anyway.
Frances McDormand.
That was really funny. You all gave your credit for it. That was really funny
You all gave it credit for
That's really funny
I just saw the guy
Who plays the kid
In a movie
Patrick Fugit
Yeah
Yeah
Fugit
In an Alex Ross Perry movie
Queen of the Earth
Or something
With Elizabeth Moss
Yeah
He's in stuff all the time
Everyone would be blown away
If they knew
He was not a fun kid
in that movie.
Zoe, grown up kid.
Chanel was the sister?
Zoe, yeah, yeah.
And the younger version
of him was played
by Michael Aragano
who's in tons of stuff
these days.
Do you want me to tell you
an anecdote from the set?
Yes.
If we had time.
Okay.
Turns out we do.
Well, there's two. There's the one, you know,
where I'm driving.
You son of a bitch.
Can I tell an anecdote?
How about four?
I got one about when I saw it.
I'll just chamber it up.
When I was driving
the golf cart part, you know,
when I did the fighting part and the yelling part,
the set was filled with people, stadium full of people.
And then to drive the dumb golf cart
and chase the fucking bus up the ramp,
everyone left, including the director.
It was just me in the second unit,
just for three hours.
Me just driving a fucking cart behind bus exhaust.
No Cameron Crowe, no fucking anybody else.
That's the glory of that movie.
The funny story, though, is...
The movie about groupies, and there are none.
Was after I did
the scene a couple times, Cameron Crowe
goes, we had to import this anger
from New York! And that was
that moment.
Because I lived in New York
at the time.
Right? And you were like, close the door.
It was pretty great.
Something like that, Jeff.
That's not the line, Jeff.
Shut the door.
Yeah, that was it.
No, that's what you say instead of swearing.
Yeah, shut the front door.
Oh, I've only seen the edited version.
I've only seen it on an airplane.
If you see the director's cut,
it's mostly about the fight I had with Noah Taylor.
It is straight up
on the plane
that I took here.
Like, it's available.
Oh, that means
I should be getting
a check for 23 cents.
Yeah.
I own it on DVD.
How much do you get
for that?
Mark got something for that.
Get a little something.
Get a little taste of that.
0.06 cents
in a check that I
will deposit.
Do you deposit the two cent residual check?
Fuck yeah, they're checks.
What am I going to do with it? Just look at
it, go like, is this funny? Just throw it in with the
other check. So it's two cents. I'm not doing
it because I'm like that guy.
I'm just doing it. So like if I threw two pennies
on the ground right now, you wouldn't jump down and get them?
You call me a Jew?
That is not what he said at all.
You are twisted.
This is a doctored video.
None of those words were slurred.
I know what he meant, Tate.
I know what it means.
Mark, that call's coming from inside the house, my man.
Most of them are.
No, I wouldn't pick them up.
See, you're not Jewish or whatever.
I don't know what your point was.
Now, wait a minute.
Now, when they write comedy on state on the glass,
that means take this glass, but do it secretly.
I think that's what that means.
Of course it does. I think that's what that means. Of course it does.
I will be stealing it.
That was the opposite of secretly.
Even worse, you'd have a microphone.
And it's being recorded.
I hope
this would be a good
this would be a bad one to lose
I'm going to have to pee soon
if we don't get out
oh me too
you too?
do you guys want to go do that?
no no no
and Jeff and I will
tell stories of when we saw
Almost Famous
no
the year was 2000
are you serious
you can go
the internet
was only for the rich. I was bored on a September afternoon thinking
next year I'm going to forget whatever I wanted to forget.
And I had a free afternoon.
One of many, Mark.
I've had a pretty loose schedule my entire life.
And I went to see a movie and I was like, what's the longest movie you have playing? I was hoping for a nap
at an air-conditioned theater
in Almost Famous, and I was like,
I'd rather see actual famous.
And they were like, no, check this out.
It's about music.
And you know what?
I fell asleep. It was great.
Did you fall asleep?
No, I watched the whole thing straight through.
It's only like two hours.
Yeah.
It's a pretty sweet movie, I guess.
I love it. I think it's fantastic.
It's got a kind of different level of reality to me
because he writes in such a way that every line is quotable
and so it becomes like...
I think I am going to go to the bathroom.
Hey, be sure you're back by 8,
so you can sit up here and talk about how the world doesn't work.
I mean, even in 2000,
when Marin ran after that bus,
I was like, oh, fuck, that's Mark Marin.
Oh, my gosh.
Somebody's going to meet a player in the lobby.
Oh, I hope he doesn't stand right next to him.
Did he go to the bathroom?
Yeah, whenever.
Then he can hear us.
I hope you're having fun, Mark.
Watch your back, buddy.
There's a guy coming on your six.
You're doing so good.
Oh, man.
You ever pee so hard you tear up?
Yeah.
I just did.
No, but I teared up so hard.
Yeah.
That I shit.
Oh, this is funny.
Do you have any almost famous memories, Anna?
I thought you said you could hear us.
I heard you rambling about not having the internet.
Or something.
No, I don't.
I don't.
I watched it and I went, all right.
Yeah.
Yeah, that was all right.
That was,
I remember I liked
Dennis,
nope.
Dennis Hope?
No,
the radio guy.
What was his name?
Dennis.
Lester Banks?
Yes.
His name was Dennis Radio
as played by Philip Seymour Hoffman
yep
that one
and let's welcome him back to the stage
and let's welcome
I brought this with me to the bathroom
I brought the dumb
heart with me to the bathroom
it was useful because I was stressing out Bathroom. I brought the dumb heart with me to the bathroom.
It was useful because I was stressing out.
Could you hear us?
Yeah.
I heard everything you said.
All right, cool. And it was helpful.
I appreciate it.
But did you remember which hand to grip tightly around something?
Were you, like, gripping it with the other hand?
No, I just beat the shit out of my dick.
I was confused.
But oddly, it was also stress relieving.
This next game...
Do you edit this, Doug?
I only leave in the good parts,
and there hasn't been one of those in a while.
Can I have one of your tissues?
I just snotted.
I think those are napkins,
and they're all wet with her cocktail.
It doesn't matter.
She's in the middle of an embarrassing situation.
Whatever she has to do.
Wow, man.
That's rough.
But you announced it, which was good.
What?
If you didn't hear her, she said,
I just snotted and then went into a napkin panic.
She rubbed someone's garbage on her face.
Stars, they're just like us.
Ghost.
This game is called Whose Tagline
Is It Anyway?
We'll start with Jeff
and then we'll go to Anna and then we'll go to Mark.
So Mark has plenty of time.
Clint Eastwood.
To figure out what's happening.
No, wait. Wait a second.
The answers aren't even people, usually.
This is where...
I'll say the tagline of a movie to Jeff,
and Jeff gets to guess what movie it is.
If he can't get it, Anna gets a shot then more and if none of you get it it's fine
these are very difficult no it ends when somebody's when Jeff's got a bunch of them
that's what we'll call it.
Then we'll play the last game where it really matters.
This first one, it's just Jeff to start.
So yeah, don't jump in.
Just sit there quietly knowing it.
If you do.
Jeff, the only privacy left is inside of your head.
Fuck.
I've fucking seen this movie.
I've for sure seen this movie.
Yeah, you've seen some movies
where there's no privacy left.
Except for what's in your head.
In your head.
Right?
Thinking you can still keep
your thoughts to yourself.
You hear that, uncles?
That is the one privacy that's left, according to this.
Inside your head kind.
Is it osmosis, Jones?
That's a terrific guess.
Anna, what do you think it is?
What women want?
That's a terrific guess,
but that's also be a scary tagline
for that movie.
Mark, do you have any idea?
1984. Oh, that's have any idea? 1984.
Oh, that's a good guess, too.
But I don't know.
Does that movie...
No, I just wanted to say something.
Does that movie have taglines?
No.
It's so serious.
Just say 1984 and leave it at that, I think.
But anyway, this was an emotional picture called Enemy of the State.
God damn it, I told you I've seen it.
Jeff did see it, yes. Let me of the State. God damn it. I told you I've seen it. Jeff did see it.
Yes.
Let me write that down.
Jeff saw it.
Is that Tim Robbins and Jeff Bridges?
No.
No, I wish.
What was that movie?
That's Arlington Road.
Oh, that's good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This one is Will Smith and a bunch of people like Jack Black's in there.
Nah.
Seth Green.
Ooh.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Ooh, they're best friends.
John Voight, that dumb
motherfucker.
What snapped in his head?
Anyways, come to my show later.
Hey, really?
Oh, and I should remind Mark that in this game
a theme will emerge.
The titles will start to all be
from some sort of thing.
Mark's not a moron, but thank you.
He's a Maron.
It's Maron, Doug.
That was very,
very cute.
That was such a nice moment
it was
it was
it's great
it's great
it's warm
I love your band
thank you
what
huh
Mark Maroon 5
yeah yeah yeah
is that you too
I'm doing it all Jeff
I'm doing it all
alright this next one you too. I'm doing it all, Jeff. I'm doing it all.
Alright, this next one.
No wonder you can't see Aladdin.
Too busy jamming with
the fellas.
Alright, so nobody
Those are boys?
Some of them.
Jeff gets first swing at this one.
Big movie.
Period.
Small town.
Period.
I love these tiny sentences
and taglines.
Huge trouble.
Period.
What do you think it is, Jeff?
I think it's state and Maine.
That is correct.
Tate, just one. I like it.
Alright, Anna gets to go first on this.
Shut up.
I will not shut up. This is my show.
No, not you. No.
Anna, is there anything you'd like to say to the gentleman
who just went into the bathroom?
Mark warmed it up for you.
I knew there'd be something you wanted to tell us.
Hey, hey, player.
That'd be great.
Every time your stream hits the urinal
Hey hey player
I wish that when you like
Open the door of a 7-Eleven
Instead of going bong
It goes hey hey player
Hey hey what's up door
I'm just here for some snacks
The people that work there would love that
And what movie
has the tagline
Oh no. Do it.
When he heard
his cry for help,
it wasn't human.
And a quick look at Jeff's face.
That tells you everything right there.
Say it again.
There's no reason for anybody to know this.
I don't get it. I've seen this movie.
I do not.
Hopefully you guys will explain it to me.
When he heard his cry for help, it wasn't human.
Do you have a guess, Anna?
It's your turn.
Area 54?
Yes.
Area 54.
No, no, no.
It's the alien one where, you know.
Yeah, that's the right area.
You're in the right area.
Area 53?
It's Studio 54.
Studio 54.
No, Area 50. 40's Studio 54. Studio 54. No, Area...
50...
409.
51.
Oh, 51.
Area 51?
Yes.
I mean, no matter what number you say,
the answer's not right.
All right, but you know it's what I'm talking about.
What do you think there, Mark?
I mean, it's not a tagline for one of your tours.
Oh, my God.
When he heard his cry for help, it wasn't human.
I don't know it's like bridges in Madison County
it was a lady
you just got Clint Eastwood
on the brain
that's true you do love Clint Eastwood on the brain. That's true. You do love Clint Eastwood.
I don't know.
We'll go to Jeff.
My own private Idaho.
Such a great guess.
The answer is
Altered States.
That doesn't even make sense.
That's what I'm saying.
It has nothing to do with that movie.
I don't think it does.
Damn it.
I mean, there's that eight-eyed ram or whatever at one point.
No, but that was like a panicky publicity person going,
no one's going to get this movie and make a weird thing.
Yeah.
That's it.
That is the back story of that.
How do we describe it?
Make it more confusing.
Bless you, audience member who sneezed.
Full service.
Podcaster.
Anna, how's your drink?
Oh, I'll do another
Tittos.
You already finished that when they just brought us?
Okay.
You know what? I didn't know that I was
being put on trial tonight.
I apologize. Bring her to.
Objection. Listen, I do that maritime law from earlier.
I can handle this. This is the basic.
I had to be in a car with him for a while,
so let me just have a freaking Tittos, okay?
Give her a
goddamn Tittos.
Thank you. And you get to start
this next round while you wait.
Should we get the drink first?
No, no, no, no.
We gotta move it along, right?
I'm already thinking about the answer. I'm gonna give you No, no, no, no. Okay. We gotta move it along, right? All right.
I'm already thinking about the answer.
I'm gonna give you... I'm gonna give you two taglines from this movie on a...
For the same movie?
Same movie.
Thank you.
I love you.
Damn, you give that up quick.
The listeners might have just thought
she's really appreciative that I'm giving her two taglines.
Oh, yeah.
No, keep...
Here we go.
Go ahead.
The first one is, fear God.
Yeah, tagline for a movie.
And the second one is, love thy neighbor.
Oh, I fucking feel like I know a movie. And the second one is love thy neighbor. Oh, I fucking feel like
I know this movie.
Fear God, love thy neighbor.
We're among several
taglines for this motion picture.
A movie that came out
in your lifetime.
Oh.
Oh.
I'm 13 years old, so that means...
I don't know, and I know it's wrong, but it's fun.
Bruce Almighty.
Fear God.
Morgan Freeman's a real asshole.
He will fuck with you
Mark
Animal House
Let me give you one more run at this
So far we have Enemy of the State
Altered States,
State in Maine,
and...
Right, I see.
Animal House,
filmed in the state of Portland.
Anna's helping him.
Oh, the theme is states.
Give him a point!
He's not a moron.
Voting-wise, politically,
what color is this state?
The one we're in? Yeah.
It's mostly red, right?
It's a what?
Red state.
Correct.
Do I get half a point?
You get the whole point.
Oh, fuck yeah.
Yeah, because Jeff's going to win anyway.
I wasn't here to win.
I was just here to get a point.
Well, you did it.
Thank you. Thank you for your help.
Thank you, Wisconsin.
Anna,
you'll be back in the next game.
Just sit this one out.
Just enjoy your
tutos.
What do you mean? Why isn't she playing this one?
Because it's a tie between you and Jeff.
You each have a point.
What the fuck?
Can she help me?
Yes.
You were partners.
That's okay.
Hey, hey, player.
Jeff, the theme is state.
To put a...
To put more of a specific point on it,
the title will have the word state in it.
Oh, I thought the theme was Tate.
If I would have caught on to that earlier,
I probably would have gotten it.
Maybe.
It's not Tate.
That's how Jeff got the one he got.
Yeah, Tate and Maine.
Alright.
So yeah, so this time you just
guess until somebody gets it right.
Prepare
for the next level.
I will give you a clue
Super Mario Brothers
best levels
but no states
the state of the Super Mario Brothers
hey I don't know how many sequels they made
I'm just talking it out
I think maybe it's
Anna and Mark are discussing
Little Man Tate and it's a Anna and Mark are discussing Little Man Tate.
And it's a backdoor.
The theme really is Tate.
Can you say it again?
The theme is still state
and I can try.
Statue of
Prepare for the next level.
All right.
Higher state.
Oh, the 13th floor.
No, no, not that one.
This is a sequel.
The 51st state.
That is one.
That's a movie.
That is the name of a movie, at least.
Here are the stars, Jeff. I'm saying Jeff because then he's going to say the name of a movie at least here are the stars jeff i'm saying jeff because then
he's gonna say the title of the movie ice cube and sam jackson oh uh triple x state of affairs
state of uh triple x uh hang on State of XXX... Hang on.
XXX State and Main.
State of the Union.
XXX State of the Union.
Mark said it first.
It was all Anna. It was all Anna.
Mark! Mark! Mark! Mark! Mark. Mark! Mark! Mark! Mark!
Mark! Mark! Mark! Mark!
Mark! Mark! Mark!
He didn't say the triple X part, so
it was implied.
He wins.
Oh, no.
No, we're not going to
start that. And also,
you know, I do think that
it wasn't quite fair, but
it's America, and I'm going to take it.
What?
I mean, you can have it.
I don't mind. Huh?
It just means you get to go first in the next game.
That's all you want, really. I thought that was it.
No, this is... We built up
to the big one now. This is the big one now?
This is the one, yeah. This is where you really have to come through.
Well, now I'm all jacked up with, you know, wisdom.
Wisdom?
Knowledge.
I'm ready to go.
I didn't even...
Right?
It's fun, though.
Once you start thinking about movies, you think of more ones.
But the fucked up thing about me is when I don't know the answer, I don't even want to talk.
I don't think that's true.
There's no evidence
of that, Mark.
No, I'm not talking about philosophical
questions. I'm saying when there's
an actual answer to a trivia
thing that I don't know, I'd
rather just say, fuck it,
man. Games are
stupid. Rules
are for the man.
Yeah, man.
I wish I could give you something to throw down when you
say it.
Or like a table to flip.
Hey, hey, player.
That's how you win.
You just flip that board over.
Who won?
Yeah.
When you're not doing well in Monopoly, just end it by flipping the board.
We're going to let the pieces go.
That's how my dad would end every Trivial Pursuit game.
We would play on Christmas until he'd quit.
And he'd just knock it.
Whenever someone, me or my brother, would know I answered where he was like,
you should have known that one. He'd get mad where he was like, you shouldn't know that one,
he'd get mad and quit.
Like, how do you know anything about Nixon?
Smash the table.
I don't know, man.
He wants to keep you stupid.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, he was a minister, so.
He tried to keep me stupid.
You're right. It mark mark mark mark mark
when i say mean things about jeff no listen i like mark so much that if that's what he needs
to do to feel better about himself i'm cool with it it. I'm cool with it, man. Listen, I've looked up to you for a long time.
If you need to take some swipes, that's fine with me.
Honestly, I owe you at least that much.
What?
I owe you at least that much.
So this next game, Doug.
I can't wait.
Last Man Standing.
Last Man Standing.
Mark, people love this game
because it's, you know,
anyone can play it, really.
Not anyone can be good at it.
But...
I think you forgot that I won.
In Lexington.
You did forget I won in Lexington. You did forget I won in Lexington.
No, you did win.
You did.
That's why you're back.
It's going to be awful.
If you lose today, you're never coming back again.
It's hurtful.
Thank you.
I mean, unless people write to me and say,
bring her back anyway.
And then we'll have heated words.
Because it's my show.
But no, you're definitely coming back.
I've even... Yeah.
Unless you lose today.
Here we go.
I'm going to get the name of an actor or actress
from an audience member, Mark,
and then we're going to take turns
naming movies that person has been in.
If you can't think of one, you're out.
But you have a lifeline.
You can go to Maren one time.
One time?
Yeah, you can go to her.
Wow, two Marans.
Yeah, and Anna can go to
What's his name?
Nick
Yep, that guy
And Jeff, who are you going to?
Mark and Anna can fight over who goes to that guy
I'll be fine
Whoa
Whoever needs a second
Jeff does not want his lifeline.
No offense to the name tag he picked.
You're going to enjoy your prizes.
Yeah.
So Jeff's going lifeline.
All right.
This is exciting.
Where is, from Twitter, Nick Earl Actor?
Yay!
Yay!
Sounds like a lady.
Nick is a man who is also an actor?
Yeah, I tried.
Okay.
Okay.
And what's your suggestion, Nick?
Robert De Niro.
Oh, the great Robert De Niro.
You got to name a movie
that he's in?
Yeah.
Over and over,
you know,
every time it gets back to you,
you have to think of another one.
He's been in a lot of movies.
Well, let's just,
we should start
with the big ones then, right?
Taxi Driver.
Well, do whatever,
don't start saying them now.
Don't start saying them now.
Wait until it's your turn,
but yeah.
I thought it was my turn.
No, well...
Well, yeah.
Well, anyone would have said that.
You do get to go first.
It doesn't fucking matter.
You're right, you're right.
You're right, you're right.
But I like to play along on this one.
All right.
And which order were we going in before?
It was coming this way, right?
Just the one?
Or that way?
There's enough.
Sorry.
No, usually there's two.
No, sometimes I get more than one name
But De Niro
I mean
Come on
Forget him
I mean do you want to
Yeah he was great in Donnie Brasco
But do you want to
I'm walking here
I'm walking here
You've seen that movie
Hey
He's the wrong guy
Taxi puncher
It's called taxi slapper
Subtitle
I'm walking here
It's not Robert De Niro
Show me the money
Good morning, Vietnam!
It doesn't sound like De Niro at all.
Oh, that's what we're doing?
Yeah.
I wasn't doing that at all.
So, Anna, would you like a second name?
We could get a second name.
No, no, no.
Okay, we're doing one name.
That name is Robert De Niro.
Which of course is
Italian for the money.
Yeah, Doug.
Good job.
Oh damn, someone got Rosetta Stone.
With a D on the end.
And, uh...
There you go.
That's your next album, Rosetta Stone.
That was good.
Remember that, Mark it down, Ryan.
It's a good album title,
but I got to do
Emotional Support Doug first.
So, Anna, what is your
answer for all the films
of Mr. Money?
Which one would you like to say?
I will start with
Anger Management.
Robert De Niro?
Yeah.
Wow.
Let's regroup.
You and me?
I think you're thinking of Jack Nicholson,
but I can't get mad.
I can't get mad at a lady for...
I can't get mad at you for mixing up old white guys.
It's really popular these days.
All right, Godfather 2.
Yes.
What kind of fucking psycho says anger management for Jack Nicholson first, David?
You thought it was Jack Nicholson and you were like, oh yeah, anger management.
That Nicholson classic.
Well, Mark did say, let's do the big ones first.
So, Jeff.
I know what to want to do.
Jeff, we're running out of time.
We've got to speed around this shit.
What's your answer?
Robert De Niro, analyze this.
Oh, yeah?
Well, analyze that.
Boom.
Mark?
Deer Hunter.
The Deer Hunter,
but I'll accept it. Anna?
Taxi Driver.
It's the Taxi Driver, but I'll accept it.
The Raging Bull.
Yes.
The
King of Comedy.
What do you got, Mark?
How about Guilty by Suspicion?
Okay.
I believe you.
You think so?
Anna?
Oh, Meet the Parrots. Jeff? Meet the F think so. Anna? Oh, meet the parents.
Jeff?
Meet the fuckers.
Doug, little fuckers.
Mark?
What?
Back to you.
This is real brick, by the way.
Most comedy clubs,
you fuck with the back wall,
they'll get mad at you
because it's not brick.
It's not really brick.
Goodfellas, very good.
Anna.
This one with Roman Williams.
Oh, shit.
Do we want to go to your lifeline?
Yeah.
Lifeline.
Heat.
Heat.
That's a good one.
Maybe it was just a request
from a chilly audience member.
The brick makes it cold down here.
Jeff.
Oh, man.
There's no windows.
It feels like a casino.
Oh, my God.
I look at you, Jeff, and I just
shake my head and say, this boy's life.
Mark?
My co-star in the new Joker movie.
Oh.
One scene, one scene.
It's not out yet I'm probably gonna be out
With this one
The Freshman
What?
With Marlon Brando
What did he play?
Marlon Brando?
Was he one of the gangsters?
Was he Matthew Broderick?
Yeah there's like a
What do you call it?
A lizard in that movie There's one with Robin Williams and he can't move and I don't remember.
Oh yeah, Awakenings?
That's what it, Awakenings!
Jeff.
Fuck.
Oh man.
Okay, the answer is Cape Fear
Couldn't work that one into a sentence
Nope
Nope fear
Wait
I mean aren't we right now on an isthmus of fear
We are on an isthmus
The Adventures of Rocky
and Bullwinkle.
The Mission.
Yes. Very good.
You out, Anna?
Lego movie?
That's not a terrible guess.
Jeff?
Okay, it's called The Bag Man
It's got John Cusack in it
It sucks but he's in it
Bang the drum slowly
Yes
Oh American Hustle
Mean Streets
I mean Mark American Hustle. Mean Streets.
I mean, Mark.
The Gang That Couldn't Shoot Straight. Yes.
Yes.
Wow.
Dang.
Dang.
The Dang That Couldn't Shoot Straight.
That's what I hear.
That's a righteous kill.
Yes.
I remember this.
Yep.
Oh, man.
What was that one that he was in where he's all like...
Awakenings.
Crazy.
Oh, shit.
Is it me?
No, no, no, it's me.
He was,
what's so funny?
Your nose on the microphone.
You guys can't see it,
but I can.
The Untouchables.
1900.
Look at Jeff.
Once upon a time in America.
I was just thinking about that one.
Too bad you didn't say it.
No, because I didn't need it, because I could say
The Last Tycoon.
If only there was
just one more.
The Intern?
The Intern?
Oh!
Oh!
Hide and seek yeah
hide and seek it's terrible but he was in it
it's a horror movie
it was one of the fanning
fannings
do you hear recognition
ripple through the crowd
just gonna sit here and make that noise Ignition ripple through the crowd.
Just gonna sit here and make that noise.
Alright, we gotta go.
Time is up.
So I might just throw it right here.
Might just give up.
Don't do it, Doug.
I mean, it doesn't affect the outcome, really.
He's still safe. I'm not allowed to win.
It's my lot in life.
Oh! Brazil!
American Hustle
is how it's called.
Don't say answers in the audience.
American Hustle already came up.
It did? Yeah, but say that other one.
I think he was in Roger Corman's The Yeah. But say that other one. I think
he was in Roger Corman's The Raven.
Oh, that sounds right.
If you want to mix him up with
Nicholson again. Damn it.
Oh, okay.
So he wasn't? I don't think so.
Jeff? Fucking fuck.
Oh, no.
You got this
no I know
I got another one
for sure
yeah
cause the one
that I know for sure
is called
Killing Season
oh okay
and it's got
John Travolta in it too
where'd you come up
with that
did you pull that
out of the
Silver Linings
playbook
I think I found it
in Marvin's room.
All right, well, this is not giving me any joy.
Ah!
Mad Dog and Glory!
Jeff Tate is our winner!
Where is the person you're playing for?
Where are you at? Over here.
Come get your prizes, dude.
Mark's going to sign the poster for you.
I mean, look how much he looks like that.
You get to take your poster back.
And here's this.
It does look like you.
Very good.
Dalton, yeah.
Dalton.
Good job, Dalton.
And be careful.
That bag is, seriously, the candle's going to just rip out of the bottom of that thing.
With the names.
Be careful.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right, man.
We'll just, I mean, we should go to dinner first.
Good one.
He's trying to get a free dinner, Mark.
I'm going to be in Dallas and Fort Worth
at both of the Hyenas
clubs there on June 15th and 16th.
Jeff, what do you got to plug?
I have a podcast called Altered States with my brother,
and I did not know about the movie Altered States.
You should use that tagline for your podcast with your brother,
that it's inside your head, but it's not a human.
Yeah, yeah.
Now we're in there with our earbuds.
With your earbuds.
Anyway,
I'm in Cleveland on June 12th,
I think.
I think it's a Wednesday.
I'm at Hilarity's
that day.
That's a good place.
Yeah.
I'm in at Go Bananas
the last weekend in June,
27, 8, 9, and 30.
Cool.
And some other stuff.
You know,
the fall's pretty booked.
Okay.
Well, that's good to hear. Nice to hear, Jeff.
Anna, promote yourself.
I will be in Cleveland
next Friday, the 31st.
Fuck Cleveland's got
it all. Fuck Cleveland.
It's all happening in Cleveland.
And your
Twitter handle is? Anna
the Mazza and same for Instagram.
Nice.
And yeah.
Mark
Marin, Easy Season 3Z
is on Netflix right now.
This is going to go up tomorrow?
Or Monday.
Well, this is big. On Thursday is on Netflix right now. This is going to go up tomorrow? Yeah, or Monday. Oh, Monday.
Well, this is big.
On Thursday on WTF, David Letterman.
What the fuck?
Yeah.
And the film sort of trust opens in July,
but I got a bunch of dates coming up
in D.C.,
Philly, Chicago,
Portland, San Francisco,
Nashville, Dallas,
Austin, Houston,
WTFpod.com.
Are you just naming all the cities you could think of?
No, it's just I don't know the dates.
You got to go to WTFpod.com slash tour.
Okay.
We can do that.
It's been too long since I've done a show here It's, you know, of course impossible to forget
How much fun it is every time I do
So I will try to come back sooner
Thank you to Comedy on State
Thank you, Madison
Thank you, Jeff Tate
Anna Meza, and Mark Barron.
We'll see you guys out here
in the...
You can't miss us. You can't leave without
seeing us.
And as always, positive
energy!
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Until next time!
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you
because Doug loves movies.