Doug Loves Movies - Mark Ellis, Demi Adejuyigbe, Joe DeRosa and 9 more guest
Episode Date: December 14, 2017Live from Largo in Los Angeles, Doug hosts the fourth and final 12 Guests of Christmas episode of the season with Rosa Salazar, Joe DeRosa, Jacob Sirof, Riki Lindhome, Adam Green, Josh Wolf, ...Mark Ellis, Jeremiah Watkins, Demi Adejuyigbe, Geoff Tate, Kevin Kraft and Lisa DeLarios.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby stinky seeds
With 50 ads and popcorn kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey everybody.
My name is Doug and I love movies.
This is I Love Movies.
Coming to you with night two of 12 Guests at Christmas,
West Coast edition at Largo at the Coronet in Los Angeles.
Oh, man, we are doing it.
There's like a hubbub, like people are buzzing backstage.
My guests are excited to get out here.
It's Wednesday, December 13th, 2017.
You know, it's around this time of year that I finally get the date right.
I finally just spit that year out.
2017.
And this is our 82nd show this year.
Yeah.
And, you know, probably not as many next year.
So enjoy it while you can. I realize, you know, probably not as many next year, so enjoy it while you can.
I realize, you know, we're going to have,
by the end of the year,
we're probably going to have about 90 shows,
and I'm, like, looking at that going,
I could do less.
But...
But I'm not doing less starting immediately
because Doug plugs.
Doug Lowe's movies is coming to Orlando,
Florida at the Improv tomorrow night,
Houston at the Secret Group Friday,
Hyenas in Dallas on Saturday at 4.20,
LOL Comedy in San Antonio on Sunday night,
Cap City in Austin on Monday, December 18th,
San Francisco at Cobbs on Tuesday, December 19th, and the Punchline
in Sacramento next Wednesday.
The next L.A. show
is January 2nd at 8 o'clock
at UCB Franklin. Normally
we're at 9.30, but there is no
Put Your Hands Together that night, so I'm
anchoring the evening at
8 o'clock, and all of my dates
and deets are at DougLovesMovies.com.
That's DougLovesMovies.com That's DougLovesMovies.com Yeah!
It's always people who like to do
a longer yeah.
Really starving
for attention.
That would totally be me if I
was in the audience.
Yeah!
Uh! Uh!
Uh!
Mm!
Mm!
This prize bag, I have mixed feelings about this prize bag
because I brought a lovely Douglas movie shirt
that's way too small for a lot of people.
Yeah, I brought a hat
that I never want to wear again.
Maybe I'd want to wear it again,
but for now it doesn't seem right.
It's a Monsters University hat.
It's not the right time to support Pixar.
That's all I'm saying.
But you can if you want.
This is weird.
I got this medical grade,
Lexicure CBD,
cannabidiol.
Cannabidiol.
It's like cannabis oil, I guess.
It's a pain relief roll-on.
Yeah, and I saw
Esther Koo on Instagram was raving about it.
She says it's amazing.
I don't know what it does, but good luck to whoever wins it.
And I got a sippy cup from another Broadway show.
And, oh, this is a chapstick that's supposedly got weed in it
i don't know really if i want to get my lips high
and uh a regular just a plain red one but also a christmassy
peacemaker pipe i'm almost finally after a whole year i'm almost out of
uh christmassy peacemaker pipes all that's all the stuff I brought, but it almost doesn't even matter
because I've got 12 guests coming out here
who all brought something for the prize bag as well,
as long as they didn't forget.
So you already know who three of them are
if you listened to last night's episode or if you were here.
Who was here last night?
Thank you for coming twice. That's very
nice of you.
Please give a big
warm welcome
to Demi Adige
Ibe, Joe DeRosa, Mark
Ellis, Lisa Delarios,
Adam Green, Kevin Craft, Ricky Lindholm, Rosa Salazar,
Jeff Tate, Jeremiah Watkins, Jacob Seeroff, and Josh Wolfe! Oh my goodness, what an amazing panel I've assembled.
What an amazing panel I've assembled.
And I've already noticed that one of my guests has chosen to sit on a small chair behind the chair he was supposed to sit on.
Jeff, pass him the microphone for a second.
Kevin, what's the matter?
Why are you sitting like that?
It was an open chair.
You don't want people to see you?
No, you're supposed to sit on that stool in front of it Okay
I'll level up
There you go
Yeah, that empty one behind you is just in case you want to put a beverage on it
Or something
Man, Doug, these games keep getting easier
Alright, let's meet them individually.
And if you have listened or were here last night,
you know this takes a while.
The bulk of the show is meeting everybody.
And then we tag on a little game there at the end.
But let's start
directly to my left.
Joining us for, I don't know,
maybe her third time.
It's Rosa Salazar!
Hello.
Now you just had a very
exciting thing happen.
Are there like chips behind me?
What?
Yeah, Kevin is ruffling a bag.
I don't think of him as a disruptive type,
but he's really being weird tonight.
And also, I don't like his sweater at all.
but uh rosa you um your trailer for this amazing robert rodriguez uh james cameron joint elita battle angel uh the trailer just came out and it's extremely controversial
yeah yeah because you play the the lead character but you have crazy giant eyes.
Yeah. Yeah, how do you
what do you say to people? I think it's perfect.
Right? Yeah, I think it's wonderful.
It's so interesting to look at.
I just think it's fun because I don't ever
want a movie to come out and everyone's like, I get it.
Like, I just never want that.
Right, it's more fun that people, some people are like,
why are your eyes so big?
I spent
That's exactly how they say, I watch every reaction video It's more fun that people some people are like why are I so big I spent
That's exactly how they say I watched every reaction video on YouTube and like did a deep dive on YouTube and it was amazing I didn't know there was an underworld of reaction. I mean you they don't know you your eyes are pretty big anyway. I know I
Smoked so much weed to try to diminish the bigness, but it just it doesn't work at all
I smoke so much weed to try to diminish the bigness,
but it doesn't work at all.
But yeah, it's a really interesting look.
I saw one guy who was mad because you have big eyes,
but other characters don't.
Is that true?
Well, I guess you're going to have to see the movie.
You're right.
So when does it come out?
July 2018.
Okay, so people have plenty of time to be mad about it.
Yeah.
As long as you keep talking about it and come see it then I don't give a fuck what you say.
To me, I've always been a fan
of Keen paintings and it looks awesome.
You guys are pretty optimistic
there's going to be a July 2018.
Doug Jones?
Jeff, give that mic to Demi.
I also don't think we're going to have a July next year. Okay, give that mic to Demi. I also don't think we're going to have a July next year.
Okay, give that mic to...
Oh, Jeremiah has a mic.
Give it to Lisa.
I just want people to let me get through this.
But thank you for being here, Rosa.
You're welcome.
Yeah, what'd you bring for the prize bag?
I'm also promoting...
I have a hair in my mouth.
I'm also promoting a T-shirt.
I'm also promoting a movie called Maze Runner The Death Cure,
which I'm also in.
And here's a T-shirt that I wore to bed one night and then washed.
That's a sexy item.
Is that illegal?
Hashtag Fox, 20th Century Fox.
One guy was so excited until he heard, and then washed.
Long sleeves, though.
You got long sleeves on it.
So that's super nice.
Yeah.
I like it.
Winner.
When does this movie come out?
January 26, 2018.
Closing out the Maze Runner trilogy.
That's right.
We're a cure in death.
And Maze Runner, of course, is people who run for corn.
They are getting easier, actually.
Yeah.
All right.
Pass the microphone to your left there, Rosa,
because we're going to say hi to a
returning champion from last
evening it's Joe DeRosa
everybody
hi everybody
you thought
last night's show was really long
it was fine
it was about a buck forty five before we even
started the game part.
Yeah.
I mean, I was impressed that you got a whole episode done
merely in the time it takes to watch two of the Hobbit movies.
Do you know that each of those movies is about two hours and thirty minutes, right?
You know that comedy is about exaggeration, right?
Right, but why would watching it twice
be that crazy of an exaggeration to get comedy?
Yeah, that's what he's saying,
is that you needed to make it more Hobbit movies
to be an exaggeration.
No, there were two Hobbit,
there were three Hobbit movies.
I said I watched two of them.
Yeah, and it takes about nine hours to watch them,
and the show last night was two hours and 45 minutes.
So I said it took the time to watch two of them. Yeah, and it takes about nine hours to watch them, and the show last night was two hours and 45 minutes. So I said it took the time
to watch two of them. Fuck your math
comedy.
No, Joe's
like, this thing that took an hour
longer than what we did last night,
it was like that.
How'd you get a mic again?
I know.
I don't know.
Listen, I reached for it.
I blame Lisa.
She shouldn't have gave it back to me.
Joe, what place did you come in last evening?
Well, I came in fourth,
but then Jeremy Long,
or Justin Long,
who all night,
the whole night, all they wanted to say to Justin Long was,
hey, Justin, I'm long, and I'm strong,
and I'm down to get the friction on.
You were hoping to say that to him.
Yeah, I never got a chance.
Anyway, it is...
Oh, yeah, it probably is.
But he came in third, and then he couldn't do it,
so then I got bumped up to third.
I think he won the whole thing and couldn't do it.
Oh yeah. He's got a benefit
over the Fonda
tonight that's for charity.
Yeah. That's nice.
I'm mad at
all of you for not going to that and coming
to this.
But what do you got for the bag tonight dude?
Well, Doug,
I've never told you
this about myself,
but I have a pretty
extensive autograph
collection at home.
I've been collecting
my whole life.
What's your best one?
Well,
I've got a lot of
great ones at home.
What's your best one?
Do you understand
how questions work?
Why are you so aggro?
That's my new character,
Lady from Austin, Texas.
Hey.
My best one is I bought,
this wasn't written to me,
but I bought a Marlon Brando autograph,
which was pretty fucking sweet.
That's a pretty good one.
But these have started to kind of pile up
and I was like, you know what?
I want to actually give one of the things
from my autograph collection to the gift bag tonight
so you guys can have it.
And this is actually a book that George Carlin gave me
when I met him. He came into a club when I was on the road,
and he saw my set, and he wrote a thing in here.
Yeah, but I have something else from him, too,
that's better than this.
But anyway, he wrote this nice little inscription,
and this is totally legit.
This was right before he died.
Jesus, it was like two months before he died.
Dear Joe, wow.
Great set tonight.
You asked for my advice.
I didn't say shit.
I bet you did have a great set.
Yeah.
Listen to what he says.
You asked for my advice
when we spoke,
so here it is.
Changing even one small aspect
of what you do on stage
would be like one
attending the symphony
and instructing
the first chair cellist
how to finger his bow.
One does not attempt
to approve upon genius.
One lets it be.
So I'm letting you be, you genius.
I can't wait to spend this next
phase of my long career celebrating you
and letting your work inspire me.
Let's hope I don't die soon.
LOL. GTFOH. Love, Georgie.
That's real. That's a real
thing for George Carlin.
To me.
Listen to the shitty applause.
They're confused.
Reading that was like sitting through a 16th of The Hobbit.
I tried. I tried to have a fun gift.
I was going to do an autographed copy
of a Joy DVD.
I was going to say
Jennifer Lawrence wrote to me,
thanks for telling me
to take this role.
Who knew so many people
gave a shit about mop movies?
Real quick, Joe,
could you tell us about
everything you ever haven't done?
All right, we got some strong competitors tonight,
so let's move on to someone who's going to be a real challenge to last night's winners.
It's Jacob Seroff, everybody.
Hey, Doug. Hey, Doug.
Hey, everybody.
Same.
Thanks for being here, dude. Yeah, thanks for having me.
I was gonna pull out my
yearbook that Roy Moore autographed, but I guess
Joe kind of ruined
the whole autographed celebrity thing for everybody.
I mean, just because it was so long,
there's no time for me to do it now.
It was pretty amazing.
I was like looking over his shoulder going,
he wrote, we have to listen to all of this?
You wrote the longest fake inscription.
I believed it until LOL.
You guys should have seen how hard George Carlin,
I mean, Joe DeRosa worked on that backstage.
He was coming, he was like Robert Frost.
He was struck with inspiration at the moment.
We ran lines with each other.
I thought it was a great inscription.
I think this crowd should have given him more of
applause for what he wrote.
Because if it was real...
I think
you asking for applause should have gotten
more applause.
You know what?
Next time, I'll bring a shirt
I fucking slept in!
Sorry for trying!
This isn't my turn, right?
This is still Joe's turn.
Yeah, Jacob, what'd you bring?
I brought something that was a gift to me
that I'm gonna re-gift.
It's a beer cozy that says, it's purple,
it says, I'm shy, and then in parentheses,
but I've got a big dick.
Now, uh, neither of those things are true about me.
A lady gave you that?
A lady gave me that.
I'm not shy, and I don't have a big dick.
And then it says Mexico on it for some reason,
and I've never been to Mexico.
Yeah.
What? You can build a wall around your beer with that thing.
I hope you have a big dick, whoever gets it.
What does that have to do with Mexico?
It's bizarre.
I'm going to put my drink in it, though.
The national bird of Mexico is a big dick.
Keep that thing cold and funny.
Thanks for being here, Jacob.
Do you feel, you feeling good?
You feel like you're going to be competitive tonight?
I feel like I'm always in the mix, but you know, I don't know.
There's some people I've never played with and then some people that are pretty good.
So yeah, it should be interesting.
All right.
We'll see what happens.
I think I'll come in about top 19 though.
All right.
Minimum.
How do you feel about Yorkies as a species of animal?
I like small dogs.
There you go.
I'm on board.
Let's meet this next guy because he fucking loves small dogs.
That's my intro?
I love small dogs.
Adam Green is here, everybody.
One of the hosts of the podcast, The Movie Crypt,
but also, to me, more importantly,
he just did a 48-hour marathon to raise money
to save, rescue Yorkies.
Woo!
Yeah.
Thank you.
And how much money did you make over the weekend,
this last weekend?
Just under $23,000.
Yeah.
So that's like, it's something like 16 and a half wheelbarrows
of Yorkies that we say.
Yeah, you kept saying that on the podcast.
I don't know why you measure Yorkies by wheelbarrows.
How else do you measure Yorkies?
It seems like a dark way to measure Yorkies,
like just throw them all in a wheelbarrow. Doug, I always ask again. Are people popping
bottles over Yorkies up here?
Yeah, I'm sorry, what was that sound?
Jacob brought a sparkling blush.
What did you save? What are you saving
the Yorkies from? There's no black women here, so I had
to represent.
Whoa. Are there Yorkies front? There's no black women here, so I had to represent. Whoa.
Are there Yorkies in danger?
I did not know Yorkies were in danger.
What's going on with them?
A lot of people don't know
that Yorkies are in danger,
but see, here's the thing with Yorkies.
Aren't they expensive in Beverly Hills?
See, that's what people think.
So a lot of like assholes
end up getting Yorkies
and then they're like,
I don't want to take care of this fucking thing anymore.
And they dump them.
And so...
I know, it's great, right?
For those of you at home,
the audience is clapping
because Jacob just affirmative actioned a glass of champagne to a black woman in the audience.
Okay.
Yeah, I like how the audience at first is like, that was really racist what he just said.
And then they watched that happen.
They're like, it's okay in our books.
My favorite part was him saying i'm woke most
people that have to be like that wasn't racist don't also be like i'm woke
i don't know how you keep getting a microphone
i always want to say they clap because she graceful as fuck you were graceful as fuck
she was like damn right I want that.
Don't give it back to him.
Oh, so anyway, Adam does this great charity auction.
Adam does this great charity auction, marathon, podcast thing.
I was proud to be a part of it.
Yes, you're a huge part of it.
Thank you.
But you're also a film director, of course. And what should people be looking for?
What's the next thing that's going to come out from you well i just i just finished uh a world tour uh with the new
hatchet movie the fourth hatchet movie victor crowley which comes out on uh home video and and piracy February 6th. So, Steve Litton,
go fuck yourself.
Awesome.
I brought something cool for the back.
I'd love to hear about it.
It's not a Hatchet movie.
It's a Yorkie!
It's a Yorkie!
He brought a Yorkie!
I fucking wish I had thought of that
and I whipped the Yorkie out.
It would be a horrible representation
of the charity if you had kept a dog
in your pocket this whole time.
Oh shit, it died.
After I finish...
Should have put a hole in the box.
I gotta save the things that no one thinks about.
So after I save all the Yorkies,
I'm going to save the rich white people.
Seriously, though, Yorkies do get fucked,
just like any other species.
Anyway, so what I brought is one of my older movies.
It's a movie called Frozen.
Yeah, Olaf and the princesses.
This is the one where when you saw the trailer
And it's like three people on a chairlift
That'll never fucking work
Well, fucking watch it, because it worked
There's no Yorkies in it, but there are wolves
And they eat people
And it's wicked fun
So, yeah, I brought this
Thank you
I didn't sleep in it, but
You still might enjoy it
And you were saying the artwork on the front Is not accurate to what occurs in the movie sleep in it, but you still might enjoy it.
And you were saying the artwork on the front is not accurate
to what occurs in the movie.
No, I hate the artwork for every... I've done
ten films now, and I hate the artwork for every single
fucking one of them. Here's the problem with this.
I mean, I know you guys can't fully see it,
but instead of...
You can see that, right?
Okay, so the problem is
they have a dude hanging from the chair, right?
That never happens in the movie, one.
Two, instead of using the actor,
they Photoshop somebody else who's wearing a belt.
If motherfucker had a belt, he could have gotten down.
So, like, right there, you're like, this movie sucks.
And...
Whoa, whoa, whoa, he doesn't have a belt?
Man, I haven't seen the movie sucks. Whoa, whoa, whoa. He doesn't have a belt? Man, I haven't seen the movie yet.
That's why I have a microphone, Doug.
Apparently it was too expensive
to Photoshop the belt off of his pants, though.
So just know, you're going to look at the cover and be like,
well, this is stupid. He doesn't have a belt. It's not
stupid.
Thanks, Adam.
Welcome. Oh, by the way,
like Doug said, he helped us.
Joe Lynch, my partner on the podcast,
is also in the audience tonight.
Not only did Doug open the
marathon this year, I mean, it's 48 hours
staying awake. It's really hard.
He also came at the end
and donated his own money towards it.
So don't let the comedian side fool you.
Of course I came at the end.
There's nothing sexier than a 48-hour
Yorkie-saving marathon.
Wait, are you guys clapping at the idea
of him seeing a bunch of Yorkies and coming?
Nobody knows what to clap at anymore.
Everything is like, I guess that's what you're into.
Let's just leave it there for a little while.
And let's say hello to Ricky Lindholm! Hi.
What's up?
Hi, Doug.
Hey.
Are there wolves on that cover?
No, they didn't want to spoil anything.
So there's no wolves.
I mean, that bothers me more than the belt.
They're on the back.
Okay.
All right.
There's a wolf on the poster for The Grey,
and when they get to the part where the wolves Are about to eat a bunch of people
The end credits start to roll
Spoiler
But Ricky
Kate Micucci
Your partner in Garfunkel and Oates
Was here last night
And didn't make it to this evening
She was very upset
But you guys have a thing in common
Where you both wear adorable Christmas sweaters.
She wore a Christmas sweater?
Yeah.
I didn't know.
Mine has bells on it.
Oh.
So I can only wear it once.
I don't think you can wash this.
Or I can wash it and then give it away next year.
I like that.
Yeah.
That sounds awesome.
What did you bring for tonight?
I brought sort of a gift pack.
I brought three signed Garfunkel and Oates CDs
by me and Kate Micucci.
And then I brought
a My Mommy is Smug onesie.
If anyone knows any of our songs,
it's We Have a Pregnant Women are Smug.
It's for a very tiny baby.
Ricky, I run a website,
so if you want to put that on a baby
and then hand it back to me, if you want to give me that sweater later, I can put it up there. I think I run a website, so if you want to put that on a baby and then hand it back to me,
if you want to give me that sweater later,
I can put it up there.
I think I should.
Yeah, you got it.
I have to locate a child.
You got it.
Yeah.
Thank you, Ricky.
I was saving it for my own child,
but then I didn't have one.
Oh.
Wow.
So gift bag.
I run a website for that, too,
if you just want to hit me up.
Just DM me later.
Okay.
I like to go out to bars on Christmas Eve, try to make an immaculate connection.
Sometimes I'll just say tweets instead of tweeting them.
Sometimes I'll just say tweets instead of tweeting them.
Thank you, Ricky. And next to her, we have the incredible Josh Wolf.
Hi, everybody. Hello.
Hello.
Doug, I want to be 100% honest with you.
I completely mistimed my edible and and I don't fucking know
what's gonna happen like I'm pretty high right now but I'm about to be way higher
I don't really count on you to know what's gonna happen anyway yeah I was
thinking I would already be in my
car going home by now because i thought the game probably would have you know
started we still got two more hours yeah and that's why well we'll see we'll see what happens
can you imagine being high and finding out that the movie Frozen doesn't have princesses or a talking snowman in it?
Even a guy with a belt, for that matter?
Everything you know is wrong.
Olaf doesn't have a belt.
I don't know what he's talking about.
But I did get too high.
I don't know if I've told you this story.
I got too high in the Star Wars Rogue One movie and so you did tell us this story next up we have
do you have a gift yeah what do you have for the bag, dude?
Oh my god, this is disgusting.
I forgot to bring something.
So I went down the street and I bought a bottle of peanut butter and jelly soda and bacon soda.
Where'd you get those? At the gas station?
No, I got them at the BevMo
BevMo?
Yeah
Not a sponsor
Do you need a bottle opener to open those?
Or a lighter?
That's a negative
How do you open them?
Well, I would say you need a bottle opener
Are they twist-offs?
Are they twist-offs waltz?
I don't think so I you'd need a bottle opener. Are they twist-offs? Are they twist-off waltz? Um...
I don't think so. I think you need a bottle opener.
Oh, hey, that's a twist-off. That's a twist-off.
Roger that. The bacon one is open.
I wanna try it.
No, I want them to be open because I want everybody to try this shit.
So now you guys have the peanut butter jelly.
It tastes like Robitussin in dirt.
Well, now I want to try it too.
Okay, I'm trying the bacon soda.
Oh, Jesus.
There's nothing bacon-y about it at all.
I told you that one was going to be the fucking gross one.
We were talking outside,
and I said, this one's going to be better than that one.
That one's going to taste like a camel's asshole,
and it does.
It doesn't taste like bacon.
Why doesn't peanut butter jelly want hot pink?
Well, when you mix peanut butter jelly and white bread, you get
pink.
There you go.
Dude, it really
tastes like I'm going to die.
It smells like bacon shit, maybe.
I don't want it.
Here.
Yeah.
Wait, you didn't open this one?
No, fuck no.
I want to try the peanut butter and jelly.
No way.
Oh, it's a twist off.
Okay.
Rosa, do you want?
No?
Lisa?
It's so bad.
She's a vegetarian.
Jeff, you have to try that.
Kevin will drink it.
He'll drink anything.
It's vegan. This is, you have to try that. Kevin will drink it. He'll drink anything. This is really
a twist off? Yeah.
I was the only
person who could handle this soda.
What is wrong with you guys?
He's drinking
whiskey to cover.
Kevin had to get his flask out just to get the taste out of his mouth.
I'm going to definitely fuck with that.
It doesn't say what's in it.
That's true.
You better try that, Jeff Tate.
You better try that.
Tell me that I'm right.
It tastes like Robitussin and dirt.
I'm afraid I'll be the only one that likes it.
You will not be the only one that likes it.
I mean, what the fuck is it?
I'm going to try the peanut butter and jelly.
No, you're not.
Yes, I want to try it.
I'm right, am I?
Robitussin and dirt.
Come on.
This tastes exactly like the bacon.
Wait, I want to try it.
This is a scam.
Okay, that tastes like Robitussin, dirt, and cream soda dum-dums.
Right? You know those dum-dums. Right? You know those
dum-dums? It tastes like, I'm good at this.
This one is not bad at all.
Cream soda dum-dums,
Robitussin and dirt.
The peanut butter and jelly one tastes like
the end of a child's birthday party
at a skating rink.
Wow.
I'm glad Roy Moore stopped by to tell us about what that tastes like.
Hey, Doug, you know what my favorite episode of Doug's Love Movies was when people tasted pops in front of me for an hour.
Like, I really listened to that episode.
I was like, dude, this is a good episode right here.
Hey, we're describing them.
Just smell this.
It doesn't say?
This shit is so nasty,
it doesn't even tell you what's in it.
Burnt popcorn.
Burnt popcorn!
That's what it smells like.
Cream-sodded dum-dums.
I'm telling you.
Where's the guy that won all the prizes last night,
the gookie?
Oh, there you are.
He has glasses today!
I fucking knew he'd be back.
You try this shit.
That doesn't taste like anything. It doesn't taste like anything It doesn't taste like anything
Yeah, it's a new thing
It doesn't taste like cream soda dum-dums and NyQuil
It does not taste like bacon
Well, that's because this is the peanut butter and jelly
I feel very unheard right now, sir
It's the bacon, but
You know, when someone named the Gookie
doesn't like it, you know
your product is lacking.
You're wearing a shirt that you won last night,
so that's cool.
In addition to all of tonight's gifts,
the winner will also receive
13 DNA swabs.
Yeah, now we're going to find out
if you're the father or not.
Now that we got your DNA on this bottle.
So, yeah, the winner of the prize bag tonight
is going to get two half-empty bottles
of carbonated shit.
And a onesie.
And a onesie for a three-month-old.
Yeah.
We still haven't gotten everybody else.
People are wondering why last night took so long.
And here we are again.
I'm the Sisyphus of podcast hosts.
You know Sisyphus.
He kept trying to introduce everybody,
but then the ball kept rolling back down the hill.
And people kept tasting soda.
Mark Ellis is here everybody!
Hey good to see you again.
Good to see you Doug.
I've been here since last night. If you listen to the podcast
from last night and you sync it up with
the Hobbit movies, it's like
Dark Side of the Moon, Wizard of Oz.
There's so much shit that happens.
Right when the five armies are about
to battle, that's when DeRosa
knocked everybody else out.
And then Justin Long announced his charity
during the credits and nobody paid attention.
What do you got for the prize bag?
Thank you, Ellis, for covering my mediocre book bit
with your mediocre callback to the Hobbit bit.
Look, I'm a little jealous that everybody got to taste
Wolf's Bacon Soda, because I brought Canadian candy last night.
And I showed it to everybody
and you're like, alright, whatever.
Yeah, none of us tried your Canadian candy.
Nobody tried the Canadian candy except for
fucking Kabuki who won it all.
What is Canadian candy?
Don't they have like M&M's
and...
Non-committal candy?
I mean, could you get arrested for trying to get children
to eat your Canadian candy and they refuse?
I haven't been arrested yet.
Would you still be in trouble?
No.
I mean, look, people make allegations on Twitter all the time, Doug, okay?
There's a difference between social media.
I'm here tonight, aren't I?
There's no cops waiting.
Don't ignore those fuckers.
Are you saying that you molested Canadaada what are you saying no i'm saying that i might have listened to
brian adams in a van in parts of ottawa you might have did i ask you what you brought for the bag
no i uh because everybody rejected my canadian candy night, I just went straight corporate shill. I brought a, this is my first CD.
They came out in 2012,
so it's probably less funny than it was there.
And it's, oh, thank you.
Thank you, Demi, for clapping nine times
so somebody in the crowd would clap once.
This was, it's called Get to the Castle,
and then I brought a shirt that
Jeremiah's gonna model. That's our Schmoes No shirt from 2017. It's all of our names
in the shape of the Millennium Falcon.
And to be honest I don't know how many times it's been worn but. I love it. I
mean you know again these are all questions.
I don't have all the answers.
It smells better than bacon soda.
Well, hopefully you'll have some answers in our games tonight when we get them started around 12.54 a.m.
Thanks, Mark.
Next up, joining us for the first time
on the program
it's Jeremiah Watkins
hey
breakout star
of the
Till Coney
podcast
Kill Tony
and
also the
you see him
dancing around
and being silly
on the
roast battles.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
And thanks for being here.
Yeah, thanks for having me, guys.
Excited on my first time being here.
I got a...
Thank you.
I have a...
More lose than my comedy series.
I've got a personally inscribed Robin Williams journal that...
Okay, all right, okay.
Do I sound that much like Ray Romano?
Is that what Joe sounds like?
Yeah.
Do I sound like that at all?
That's a spot-on impression.
Deborah!
Yeah?
My parents are driving me crazy!
I'm in a Camille Maggiani movie.
It's a sick.
It's a big sick.
I don't know what to tell you.
It's a big one.
Congrats to Camille in that movie
for all their SAG Award nominations.
So what do you got there, Jeremiah?
It's a Kevin Smith and Jason Mews
autographed Podcast Pals action figures.
Podcast Pals?
Wow.
They're little action figures.
All right.
They're like big Legos, Doug.
Okay.
That barely didn't sell you on it,
but they're big Legos.
I mean, it's crazy.
One of them
Smokes a ton of pot
The other one is drug free
They like did a body switch
Freaky Friday
Yeah
They're podcast pals
I think I might keep this for myself
Doug do you have an action figure?
What's that?
Do you have an action figure? No well that? Do you have an action figure?
No, well, I mean, there's a Bane
figure from
Lego Batman. Oh, I got one of those.
I got a Poison Ivy one.
Yeah, you're Poison Ivy. Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty
cool. I feel like you needed a Doug Loves
Movies action figure.
Or, you know, maybe a
Funko Pop thingy.
Or that.
Who knows?
We'll see.
A boy can dream.
If you're really nice, someone might bring it to you.
I don't know what that means, but let's...
Santa Claus.
Let's move on.
I was thinking about Santa. Let's move on. I was thinking about Santa.
Let's say hello.
We've only got four more to get through.
Demi and D.G. May is back.
Hello.
Two hats.
Coming back for the kill.
Welcome back, dudes.
Still got the two hats.
I love you.
One says movies. One says Christmas. Kwanzaa ain't over. Can got the two hats. I love it. One says movies.
One says Christmas.
Kwanzaa ain't over.
Can't take them off.
Right.
There was a mild controversy on Twitter today.
Someone wrote, like, why did the audience boo me when I asked you about Kwanzaa?
And I think the audience booed me because they thought, why is he asking the one black guy about Kwanzaa?
It seems kind of... You really should ask Sam Levine.
Right? I should have asked Sam Levine
about Kwanzaa. Should have asked you about Hanukkah.
And then had the two of you
fight it out. Yeah.
But, uh,
I didn't care that people were...
I didn't mind that people were booing, but...
Me neither. I'm used to it. It is kind of a weird...
Yeah, right? It is kind of weird.
Like, white people probably bring it up to you all the time.
So let's change it up. What do you think about
Denzel Washington's new movie?
Well, Doug, I haven't seen it,
but I know it's fantastic. Oh, okay, well, why
haven't you seen it, I thought? Because
it's Kwanzaa, you're not supposed to go see any black
movies. I don't know. I'm making up rules, too.
The thing is, I can tell you anything that happens during Kwanzaa. You guys have supposed to go see any black movies. I don't know. I'm making up rules, too. The thing is, I can tell you anything that happens during Kwanzaa.
You guys just have to be like, yeah, he's probably right.
So, no, I don't know.
That's cool.
I have no opinion on it.
He's suddenly getting some, you know, he got the Golden Globes and the Sags both nominated.
Yeah, it's about time Denzel got some recognition for his good work.
I'm tired of all the fences people put around him.
is good work.
I'm tired of all the fences people put around him.
King Kong's got nothing on him.
All right, so what do you have in your little bag there? So Doug said to bring one thing,
and I didn't listen.
I brought two.
I first brought a shirt from,
a wrap shirt from,
oh, you can hold it, Jeff,
a wrap shirt from The Good Place,
and it says,
what's up, hold it, it says, what's up?
Hold it.
It says, what's up, Dongbait?
And I brought this
because there's nowhere
I can wear this in public.
There's a lot of wine on it.
Yeah, also I spilled wine on it
like 10 minutes ago.
So can you actually,
can you give that to Rosa?
Rosa, do you want to sleep in that
and then wash it for me?
I feel like this is just a place
where people,
it's like a clothing swap.
Sure is.
And then I also have some underwear from a few months ago.
No.
And then I also have a DVD of Baby Driver
that is actually autographed by Christopher Plummer.
Is it really?
Please say yes.
Now, it's interesting what he wrote on here.
He said, all the money in the world couldn't buy you a screener this exclusive.
Yeah.
And he drew a little picture of who's that in a car.
I mean, I didn't draw it, so I can only guess.
But I think that is a baby driving.
And also, Doug, there's a little gift in there for you.
What? There's a gift in in there for you. What?
There's a gift in the bag for you.
There is?
Sure is.
What is it?
It is a confetti gun.
What?
In case you're like, oh, that was a good joke.
You can just, ba-boo.
That'll be great on the podcast.
Oh, I'm going to fucking confetti gun at some point.
People are screaming, careful!
Put the safety on!
Oh, and it's got a backup.
Yeah.
Okay.
I got two rounds, you guys.
So, be cool.
I don't know, though.
I don't know if Largo
wants me to shoot confetti
into the crowd
because I don't know
if they're into cleaning up shit.
You should wait or we should do it on the plane tomorrow.
That's not the worst idea I've heard.
Oh, my God! All right, well, we've heard from you a lot already.
Let's say hello to him.
It's Jeff Tate!
Hello, everybody.
Hello.
Jeff Tate's here?
Oh, I didn't even see you there.
Yeah, there he is right behind you.
Right behind you.
And we're hitting eight cities starting tomorrow, dude.
Starting tomorrow.
And I talked to you backstage about your prediction of how many wins you think you could pull off out of eight shows.
Typically, tonight you're going up against 11 people, but on all the other ones, you'll be up against probably two other people.
So he made the prediction.
He thinks he's going to win five times out of eight.
Okay.
So, yeah, we'll see.
We'll see about that.
What?
Oh, there's a phone on the floor.
Well, normally we're going to go do a bunch of shows.
I mean, I'm going to introduce you in a second, Lisa,
but let's just chat as long as you're talking to me.
We're about to embark on a tour
where we're going to do
this show in seven cities, but they'll
be the normal three guest format.
Okay. I thought
you were saying that only two people would be
actual competition tonight.
Well, I was.
As I look over the group, I agree with
that as well.
as well. What'd you bring for the prizes bags? I brought a copy of my CD. George Carlin signed it. It's a he said he actually it goes on and on about how great Joe DeRosa is. I thought it was rude. I was like, Joe went after me.
Oh, shit.
In that story,
I was the middle.
Garfunkel notes down.
It was just,
it was a copy of my album.
That's it.
Okay.
None of my clothes,
nothing.
Well, that's good.
I stressed to everybody
just bring one thing
because, you know,
last night,
the winner,
Gookie,
had to rent a U-Haul.
And it was a
whole thing just to get all that shit
home. So, and
you don't even live here. You have to fly with all that
stuff. Or are you going to have a quick yard sale?
He gave half of it
away. To other audience members?
Oh, that is, you're a
sweet Gookie.
Yeah.
That was really nice of you to give half of that
useless shit away to other people.
He almost
vomited from either the bacon soda
or the peanut butter and jelly.
I forget which one it was.
Kevin Kraft is here, everybody!
Thank you, thank you.
From Jason Ellis
Weekdays, noon to 3 Pacific
On Sirius XM Faction Talk
You're good at that
Yeah
Not too bad
And what do you got for the bag, dude?
So, speaking of the Jason Ellis Show
I have an official
Licensed Jason Ellis Show Cum rag have an official licensed Jason Ellis Show cum rag.
No. Yeah.
Slightly used.
No, wait. I'm kidding.
I'm kidding. Heavily used.
That is so much cum. That is so
big. Who cums that much?
Besides me, I mean.
So yeah, I got that.
Sock would do the trick.
It has the merch of a much earlier show. So yeah, I got that. And Sock would do the trick.
It has the merch of a much earlier show.
Do you want to explain it or should we move on?
And I also brought an action figure of Hans Moleman from The Simpsons.
Oh, that's nice.
Possibly my favorite character from The Simpsons. There's a fascinating documentary out right now called The Problem with Hans Moleman from The Simpsons. Oh, that's nice. Possibly my favorite character from The Simpsons. There's a fascinating documentary out right now
called The Problem with Hans Moleman.
Yeah.
He's very racist.
There's a lot of Scandinavian Americans that are upset
that they're being called Hans Moleman all the time.
Trouble with Hans Moleman.
I'll take the bag too, dude,
because I'm tired of touching this cum rag.
Oh, that's a good point.
Immediately, I don't want to touch it.
You might want to grab some Purell.
Even the kooky won't take this home.
It's just so big.
Sorry this took so long.
All right, I'll just keep this tight.
Give some time back to the room
it's Lisa Delarios everybody
how long you been out in LA now you've done the show in Austin a few times but now you live out here in l.a i just can't stop moving i
just moved here in august oh okay from austin yeah right yeah jeff and i'll be there on uh monday
i'll be there too no i won't i won't i won't oh you shouldn't you should have gotten people excited
that's true i'm coming I'm a big pull.
You're a huge draw there.
Draw, draw, not a pull.
Yeah, draw, not pull.
Not a pull.
You don't pull people in.
I do.
I'm a pull.
And what do you got for the prize bag?
It looks like you got a bag.
Well, I do.
Not a plastic one.
This is a reusable bag.
Okay.
You know, usually when you ask me to do the show,
I like to declutter and kind of get organized
and cull the herd.
What the hell is this thing?
You told me to bring one thing this time.
This is a great lamp.
It's a lamp.
It's a lamp.
This is genius at work.
Right?
Come on.
That would only be cooler if it said I have a big dick on it.
The wiring is solid.
This is from one of my estate sale finds.
No, I think this is going to be a hazard in someone's home.
It might be a fire hazard, but it's a lot of pressure, really.
I feel like that would work for me.
That would make me feel good, and I would turn it on and feel like I can do it.
Yeah.
It was too much for me.
Do you want to have this, Ricky?
Yeah.
Okay.
I want you to have it.
Oh, my gosh. Yeah, the guests can have anything they want from the. Okay. I want you to have it. Oh my gosh.
Yeah, the guests can have anything they want from the prize bag. I really want this.
I'm going to take mine back then.
I'm going to put this next to my couch
and I'm going to turn it on. I'll take that.
I need confidence where I can get it, you guys.
This is a swap meet.
What are you going to do with that comrade? Thank you.
I have a website that I run.
Just DM me.
Hey, Doug, can we all go around and taste the lamp?
This is the weirdest white elephant podcast
I've ever been a part of.
Can I have your bag?
Oh, sure.
I'm gonna consolidate because, you know, what if the person has to fly?
All of this...
I brought four things so it's equal.
Yeah, all of this stuff you guys is in the prize bags for someone here tonight.
But before we get to that, I have to go through
and give everybody a chance
to plug themselves.
They haven't even mentioned
smog in the movie yet,
by the way.
I'm still talking.
What happened?
I said they haven't even
mentioned smog in the movie yet.
I was just making another hop.
Forget it.
God damn it.
Sorry.
I'm sorry. I apologize. It's mentioned smog in the movie yet. I was just making another hop. Forget it. God damn it. Sorry. I'm sorry.
I apologize.
It's pronounced smog.
Not smog.
It's not the thing that hovers over this entire city.
In the cartoon version in the 70s, they said smog, though.
Really?
Yeah.
Which I own.
No, it's not the same with smog.
Because like smoke, smoggy smoke comes.oggy Smog comes out of his nose.
That's how you spell Smog?
It sounds like a Swedish chef.
Smoggy Smog or Smog.
I thought they just spelled it different to be, you know.
Hang on, I'm getting a text.
What?
Oh, it doesn't matter.
I thought his name was because they're getting a smog coming out of his face.
matter. I thought his name was because they're getting a smock coming out
of his face.
I don't know how
these microphones are ending up in the exact wrong
place.
I requested that.
Alright, you guys.
Starting with Rosa.
What do you got to plug?
Which I think we might have already covered because you talked about Maze Runner.
I think you kind of roasted it.
We didn't really plug it.
You talked about Maze Runner.
Maze Runner.
January.
January 26th.
Yeah, start your 2017 with a little Maze Running.
Yeah, with a little Maze Running with Curing Death.
Yeah.
Maze Runner the Death Care.
Is it the absolute final Maze Runner?
It's the final Maze Runner.
They can't make more?
No
They can't change their minds?
No
What about a reboot?
No
Okay
And Alita Battle Angel is out next summer
Yeah
July 20th, 2018
I love it
Robert Rodriguez, James Cameron
Have you seen a movie lately?
What was the last movie you saw?
Oh, I saw The Trip to Spain, which I loved.
I loved.
I actually cried.
I was always taking trips and having meals and doing Michael Caine impressions.
They could go all over the world, and I would watch every single one.
They just sit there and eat.
And do impressions.
And do impressions.
And they're lovely.
And drink fully bonka.
What?
That's something Michael Caine says in Dark Knight Rises.
Sorry.
Are we talking Michael Caine impressions right now?
Oh, there we go.
Is that what we're doing?
Oh my God!
That's a good...
Wait, wait, wait.
Can we have Ray Romano and Michael Caine?
Yeah!
Yeah!
All right, so this is Ray Romano
and Michael Caine
having a conversation around the holidays.
Mike, you know, when I was thinking of buying Debra for Christmas, it was like a little nightie.
Is that okay to buy her like a little nightie from Fredericks of Hollywood?
I'm just surprised
you didn't go to something
like Victoria's Secret.
I'm a little disappointed
in you, Raymond.
You're a better man than that.
You need to pick yourself
back up.
Get back on that horse.
Look at Debra in the eye
and say,
I love you so much, Debra.
You are the woman of my dreams.
And when I look at you,
I am incomplete without you.
Hey, did I tell you I was in this
Kamau Nanjiani movie?
I love how you do sad, sad about to cry Michael Caine
that's a very special Michael Caine
that's how I see him
he's always about to break down at any moment
that was such a meeting of the minds
I loved that
that was pretty neat
but now we have to talk to Joe again.
Stop being so aggro.
It's my character.
You got your plugs in last night.
Yeah.
New Year's Eve, The Stand, New York City.
Yeah, my two podcasts.
We'll See You in Hell and Emotional Hangs.
So those are the plugs. Yeah. Did'll see you in hell and emotional hangs. So those are the plugs.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Did you see a movie today?
I actually watched The Trip to Spain last night,
but then today I watched a film called
Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 4.
There's that many of those?
There's five of them, and I watched four and five today.
The only connective tissue being Ron Howard's brother, Clint Howard,
playing the homeless man Ricky in both films.
He is the connective tissue of that universe.
He's got to do something when Ron isn't making a movie.
Yeah, yeah.
So Silent Night, Deadly Night 4 is one of the most batshit fucking movies I've ever seen.
Now, it's a Christmas horror movie,
so of course, it's about a Jewish woman
investigating a spontaneous combustion.
That is the fucking plot of the movie.
A woman at the beginning dies from burning to death,
and the reporter on the scene, this woman,
her first guess is,
it must have been spontaneous combustion. And within 10 minutes,
she goes to a bookstore and she says, yes, I'm looking for a books on spontaneous combustion.
And the book clerk goes, well, you've come to the right place.
Okay. Okay. Fun fact. My grandfather was a coroner and he had a spontaneous combustion case.
He was in, he's in all, if you Google it, he's everywhere. That's a fun
fact. He cleaned up a woman
and it was just her foot and a bunch of
ashes in a basement.
And she had burned through
her floor and then onto
the basement and that's the conclusion
they came to. So based on fact
in Countersport, Pennsylvania. Someone else
take the mic. That's a weird
plot line for silent,
because that's the least silent way to die,
is by spontaneous combustion.
I think we shouldn't gloss over the fact
that Ricky's grandfather covered up a murder.
Hey, Jacob.
Hey, go ahead.
What do you got coming up?
I'll be at the American Comedy Company in San Diego St. Patrick's Day weekend, March 15th through 17th.
Whoa, that's way ahead of time.
I know, but...
People can really plan ahead for that.
I can tell you where I'm featuring before that.
I just figured I would give the show that it was my show.
Yeah, just plug whatever you want.
That was what I wanted.
Okay.
And I'll be...
March 15th through 17th, you guys.
Yeah.
Get ready for it.
Save the date.
I'll be sending out invitations.
Start packing.
Oh, no.
For that trip to sweet San Diego.
And what are you...
And I'm also going to be in a James Cameron, Robert Rodriguez movie.
My nose is really big in this one, though.
It's the Jewish version.
What's...
Bigger, I mean.
What's the last movie you saw?
A couple days ago, I took my son to see Coco.
And yeah, it was good.
It was really good.
Did you have to see that Olaf thing?
No, and I wanted to.
I'm the one person in the world that wanted to see it
because I'm a big Frozen fan.
I mean, I'm sure yours is good too.
Now it's going to be at Christmas.
It's a special on TV.
Yeah, but everyone was complaining about it.
I was like, I love Frozen.
I'm like, I'm into seeing that.
Yeah, I think you would like it.
They just cut it out completely.
You'll like it if you like Frozen,
but it's a TV special next week.
On ABC probably?
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, okay, I'll watch that.
I like Olaf.
I like Frozen. It was a weird turn for me, though, because I took my son and my daughter, yeah. Oh, okay. I'll watch that. I like Olaf. I like Frozen.
It was a weird turn for me though
because I took my son
and my daughter who's older.
She's almost 13 now.
I invited her to go
and she said,
yeah, I'll probably go.
And then at the last minute
she flaked just to go to the mall
with her friends
and I realized
it was kind of symbolic
that I was going to see
the movie Coco
because now my daughter's dead to me.
She's yours now, world.
You have her. I'm done.
You want to see free Pixar movies? Fuck you. You're on your own.
Good movie, though.
You liked it? I liked it.
Did you like it? I haven't seen it.
I watched the Olaf thing and then I walked out.
I am not kidding.
Because I really wanted to see the Olaf thing on the big screen.. I am not kidding because I really wanted
to see the Olaf thing
on the big screen.
I had no idea
it was going to be
a TV special
and then suddenly
now it's a TV special.
People were really
bummed about it.
It's funny because
I had this feeling.
It's really long.
They do songs in it
like you're like,
wait, this is a short
and you're taking time
to sing a song?
Apparently the Pixar short
wasn't ready.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, so they slapped
that on instead.
It's one ninth of a hobbit.
I don't know if you guys heard, but...
Wait, the microphone's going in the wrong
direction.
Oh, okay.
Give it back to him. You need a mic to sit on yourself?
Oh. Give it back to him You need a mic to sit on yourself? Yeah I really thought like last night taught me a lesson.
I'd be able to move things along quicker tonight,
but I guess that's not,
that's not going to happen.
I think we're going to break the record.
This is,
I didn't see how you said an hour and 45 minutes.
There's no way,
but I think we're about an hour and 55 in right now.
So no,
we're not.
I don't know.
Settle down.
Adam. Yesettle down. Adam!
Yes. Hi.
Hi. What do you got to plug, dude?
What do I have to plug? Alright, well, I mentioned
the new Hatchet film.
Victor Crowley will be out everywhere
uh...
Fuck, I already forgot. February.
February 6th. Thank you.
Featuring our friend Jonah Ray is in it.
Jonah Ray, Brian Quinn from Impractical Jokers.
If you've never seen a Hatchet movie,
they're extremely gory, but they're very funny.
There's a scene in this one
where Victor Crowley fists a chick with her own arm.
And it won four awards.
Now tell us the funny part.
I want to know what the name of those awards are.
What four awards?
The Mistys.
But the distributor wanted it out.
They're like, this is too much.
And then at Toronto After Dark, it won four awards, which were all the same award, like
best practical effects, best kill, like best awesome kill or like they were all the same
award.
But we got to keep it in the movie.
So if you want to, if for any horror fans who want to see Felista Rose from Sleepaway
Camp get fisted with her own arm it's hilarious um i can just hear the erections
starting and what was the uh don't forget to use don't forget to use your microphone voice rosa
what's your uh last movie that you saw adam's your last movie that you saw, Adam?
The last movie that I saw,
I've been watching it in six-minute increments
because I keep falling asleep,
but I'm about 19 minutes into I, Tonya.
I love I, Tonya, and I wouldn't mind watching it that way
because it's pretty entertaining from start to finish,
but in six-minute bursts, it must feel like you're watching a cereal.
Well, I just can't stay awake because of the fucking Yorkie marathon thing.
When I'm the first one to lose tonight and I got a bail,
it'll probably be a good thing because I can sleep.
But one other thing I do want to plug,
I do a series called Scary Sleepover where different celebrities,
usually horror celebrities or music celebrities,
slash Tony Todd, whoever,
have a sleepover with me.
And we have a Christmas special
that comes out in about 48 hours,
which is what I have to go finish when I leave here.
But it's like five horror celebrities.
All the horror fans in here.
Kane Hodder, who's Victor Crowley and Jason
from Friday the 13th, and Daniel Harris
and Bill Mosley, Sid Haig.
It's a
good one. I make Christmas dinner.
We put on
pajamas
and we have
a slumber party. And that'll be out
Friday on my website.
That sounds awesome.
Maybe do less stuff and get some sleep.
Yeah.
There you go.
A little pro tip.
Ricky?
Hi.
Hi.
Plugs or last movie you saw?
Whatever order you want to do it.
Another Period, season three, January 23rd. I'm so excited order you want to do it another period season 3 January 23rd
I'm so excited for you guys to see it
I think it's good I'm biased
but I think it's really funny
did I make it am I still in it
you're still in it
it's brief but I think
you'll laugh Doug has a good cameo
I like it
I won't spoil it but it's good
what was the last movie you saw?
I saw a double feature of The Room and The Disaster Artist.
And I recommend seeing them that way,
because it was so much better right after seeing The Room.
You used to watch The Room first, and then Disaster Artist.
Because I saw Disaster Artist without ever having seen The Room.
Still haven't seen it.
And people are sad, but Disaster Artist, I'm proof that it works without having seen The Room. Still haven't seen it. Yeah, and people are sad,
but disaster artists,
I'm proof that it works without having seen The Room already.
I believe that.
It's very entertaining
and also makes me more intrigued to see The Room.
I don't really like watching movies
because they are bad.
That's not a reason to watch in my mind.
Oh, then you haven't seen Troll 2.
Have you seen Troll 2?
I love Troll 2.
Right?
That's a movie
to watch just because it's bad it's so good i have that's it oh okay all right all right all
right shut up jesus everyone's doing their troll 2 impressions see where my troll heads at
do your troll 2 michael cain impression. Michael Caine and Troll 2 go.
Oh my God.
That was the terrible stuff.
New Bog is Goblin backwards.
That's it.
That's it.
Doug, you have to see the room.
He said,
don't piss on hospitality.
Don't piss on hospitality.
But yeah, okay. But that's a, you know,
there's two or three shiny
examples of it's fun
from beginning to end shitty movie.
Yes, but generally...
I love you daddy, and that's it.
Ooh, sorry.
Wow, way too soon.
Jesus. Anyway.
Generally, shitty movies, to me, are just...
Wow, you guys.
People at home will find that funny.
They're just shitty.
Yeah.
To me, it's not fun.
Okay.
So that's why I've never seen The Room.
The Room is exhausting.
You should see The Room.
Because I don't enjoy watching people's crappy movies.
But now that I know Tommy Wiseau is endlessly rich and famous and happy,
then I'll laugh at his stupid movie.
It's worth it.
There's lots of nudity in that movie.
There's four sex scenes in the first 35 minutes, probably.
I don't know how I feel about that.
I hear you see straight up into Tommy Wiseau's
asshole. You do.
That alone is worth it.
We're from such different worlds.
The room is his asshole?
Yeah, it's inside his butt.
But the disaster artist is good on its own.
Yeah, it's very entertaining.
Yeah.
All right, let's talk to Josh about his plot.
First of all, I think it's funny that you think
you're going to be the first one out.
Okay.
What's up, Doug?
Nothing, just trying to ride this rocket.
Yeah!
It's such a fast-paced program. I can't keep up.
I could use another drink.
I know that much.
Yeah.
What do you want?
Of peanut butter and jelly.
You want to do plugs or the last movie you saw?
My podcast I do with...
You can only do one.
Okay, the podcast I do
with Freddie Prinze Jr.
called Prince and the Wolf.
It's on iTunes.
It's a lot of fun.
Check it out.
It's about a little bit
of everything.
Yeah, Freddie's been
on this show.
He's great.
Yeah.
Do you want to know the last movie I saw?
Mm-hmm.
Austin Powers.
Which one?
What?
Which one?
Doesn't matter.
Well, they get grosser as it goes along.
The grossest one is the third one.
It's the one with Heather Graham.
With what?
With Heather Graham.
Oh, Spy Who Shagged Me.
So damn funny.
I mean, because that's the first time you see a fat bastard.
And like my favorite, my favorite, when she puts the fucking thing in his asshole.
No.
She's like, boop.
No.
No.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He want a fisty!
I'm like,
those movies get more disgusting
as you go along.
He's like,
my favorite is the one
where you first meet Fat Bastard.
One of the most disgusting characters.
Oh, he was so funny!
Come on!
You didn't like Fat Bastard?
He's gross.
You guys didn't like Fat Bastard? He's gross. You guys didn't like Fat Bastard?
Oh, come on, you snobby motherfuckers.
Am I alone up here, Tim?
I mean, I thought it was funny.
Okay, all right.
That was before the whole fat shaming thing.
It's the funniest fucking part.
He cries because he can't stop eating.
Either get a microphone to talk or shut up.
I'm going to pass the mic.
Just talking off mic is no good for my podcast.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
You don't have to pass the mic because the guy behind you has got one already.
I'm armed and ready.
Mark Ellis.
Yeah, Doug.
Plugs.
Yeah.
Schmoes know.
My podcast.
And then Kansas City New Year's Eve at the Improv and Comedy Store in February.
We taped my new hour.
Nice.
And the last movie you saw,
I know we saw you yesterday.
Did you see a movie today?
I didn't, Doug,
so I still saw the same movie.
Then let's move on.
Worked out great.
I want to be expedient.
It's a tough movie to talk about
because you think you're going to be
the coolest guy in the room
because you saw this movie
and then you say it
and then everybody realizes
they haven't seen it yet.
And it's the little space movie
coming out this weekend.
Oh, The Greatest Showman?
Yeah, weird.
You parts that take place in outer space?
Is this Hugh Jackman musical about the circus,
is it going to just not,
is this going to just pretend that animals
aren't treated horribly by the circus?
Like, are they just going to pretend
that's not a whole part of their dark, ugly past?
Well, I've seen that movie, too.
You saw that?
Yeah.
Are they still pretending Hugh Jackman's straight?
I mean, like every time they get into it.
Shut up, Joe.
That was Ray Romano.
I come here out of the kindness of my heart, Doug.
You know?
What?
Did you like the movie?
What, The Greatest Showman or The Space Movie?
The Greatest Showman.
You can't talk about The Space Movie.
I can't even talk about when Rey gets fisted with her own arm?
I mean, that was pretty...
That's a pretty bold direction for Rian Johnson to take, I thought.
I'm getting fisted with my own arm.
No one's going to be bummed if you ruin the greatest showman by saying something like,
yeah, and he had the idea to add a third ring.
Is it good?
No.
Okay.
Knew it.
I love that the billboards say,
from the lyricists of La La Land,
like the words in La La Land were why everybody loves it.
Like, I need to hear more of those kind of lyrics.
But you got to get right up next to the billboard to see lyricists.
It just says La La Land, and you're like, fuck yeah.
And then you get close and you're like, oh, it's
Bernie Toppin, not Elton John. Alright.
I'm good to go.
Let's talk to Jeremiah.
You guys didn't take the
Bernie Toppin? That was a deep cut.
It was no fat bastard, but it was
you know.
Jeremiah, you know what I want.
You know what I want.
You want me to talk about fisting as Michael Caine.
Yeah, I do.
I really do.
Listen, the first time I fisted a woman, I didn't win no damn award.
This was before awards.
Now people win awards for fisting women?
We just did it for the love of the game back in the day.
Thank you so much.
You know what it's called when you fist someone with their own arm?
That's called an Italian job.
Wasn't Michael Caine in the Italian job?
Hey, it's a movie reference, and no, he wasn't.
We're going to blame that joke on Rio.
You're mistaking it with Morgan Freeman.
No, wait.
Donald Sutherland?
I think it was Donald Sutherland.
Donald Sutherland?
In the original.
Michael Caine.
Oh, Michael Caine's in the original Italian job.
So Jeff is not as dumb as we all thought.
Why are we asking Michael Caine if he was in the Italian job?
Yes, I was.
This man is smarter than we give him credit for.
Let's talk to Jeremiah for a second.
What was the last movie you saw?
What Lies Beneath.
I watched it again.
Yeah.
Harrison Ford and Michelle Pfeiffer?
Yeah.
And you like it?
I love it.
It's one of my favorite Robert Zemeckis films.
I haven't seen it in a minute.
Dude, it's awesome.
That guy also made Back to the Future. I know, watched that right after i started you know catching back up i was
in a hotel room and they were playing robert zemeckis films i was like why not they had a
you were in a hotel that had a zemeckis film festival
if i was an attorney i'd have follow-up questions.
But you're not on trial here today, Jeremiah.
And I want to know where people could see you other than obviously Kill Tony on Monday nights
at the Comedy Store
and the Roast Battle Tuesday nights at the Comedy Store.
Yeah.
What else you got coming up? Every second Tuesday of the month at the Comedy Store. Yeah. What else you got coming up?
Every second Tuesday of the month at the Comedy Store
is my show Stand Up On The Spot,
where comedians go up on stage with no prepared material,
ask the audience for suggestions, you yell stuff out,
and you have to create stand-up right on the spot
in front of the audience, so that's a super fun show.
It's improvised stand-up.
Yikes. it's improvised stand-up yikes
Adam F. and Green
that's his twitter name
is Adam F. and Green
because people probably
always say that
in response to things
that he says
I would never want to do that show
but I would love to see
Josh do that show
he has it on the show he's great at it actually really? yeah he's awesome that's why I was saying that he says. I would never want to do that show, but I would love to see Josh do that show.
He has it on the show.
He's great at it, actually.
Really?
Yeah, he's awesome.
That's why I was saying I would love to see it.
He's probably really good at it.
All right, Demi,
what's the last movie you saw?
Did you see a movie today?
I did.
I didn't want...
I was purposefully like, I gotta see a movie today i did i didn't want uh i was
purposefully like i gotta see a movie when doug asked me so i watched molly's game for the second
time um and it's i liked it the first time and the second time i was like oh he should not be
directing his own movies aaron sorkin aaron sorkin yeah yeah it's it's two and a half hours
which it shouldn't be and it also's a lot of poker talk in it.
Yeah.
And it feels like a super long Adidas commercial.
It's just like fast-paced cutting, just like a narration that's like, I was in it to win it.
And I was not going to let anyone take me.
It's just like unrelenting is the only word I can use to describe it.
But I did finish it for a second time.
Well, thank you for that.
You could have just told us about it based on the first
viewing could have but it wasn't the last movie I saw and I don't lie
not on you don't know that he could be lying about that
all right you got me I've never seen any movies
You got me. I've never seen any movies.
I read a Wikipedia page for Molly's Game.
Still took two and a half hours.
I do not read very well.
Well, I know you're working on a top secret thing you can't talk about.
Sure am.
So what can you talk about?
I can plug The Good Place,
which you can watch on Netflix.
Yeah, Netflix and Hulu.
And it's back January 11th. So watch that. My podcast Gilmore Guys, which you can watch on Netflix. Yeah, Netflix and Hulu, and it's back January 11th,
so watch that.
My podcast, Gilmore Guys, which we're not doing anymore,
but you can listen to all of the episodes.
My new podcast, Punch Up the Jam,
which you can listen to starting tomorrow, I think.
And Star Wars is out this weekend,
and a lady in Target thought, I'm in it, so...
I'm gonna plug that.
out this weekend and a lady in Target thought I'm in it. So.
She was like Mary Kwanzaa John Boyega.
No, she thinks I'm.
She thought you were a porg, obviously.
She might've thought I was a porg,
but I'm pretty sure she thought I was a man named
Jim Bodega.
Oh man.
Oh, I frequent his little store.
Jim Bodega was the hardest action figure to get
when I was growing up.
You had to send in box tops to get Jim Bodega.
Jeff, you know the questions. Answer them.
I'm doing this thing called Take Crazy Nights
with this fellow named Doug Benson
starting about two hours ago
and going until next week sometime.
And I have an album coming out January 12th.
12th.
All the songs are by...
Lyrics by La La Land.
I want to make a movie with the same caterers as Blade Runner
so the poster can say that.
From the caterers who fed Blade Runner.
Just doing a movie with the ad more Blade Runner didn't work,
so I don't know why you'd think that
would uh attract anyone that's because they did not put on the poster for Blade Runner 2049 that
it had the same caterers as the original Blade Runner they switched caterers that's why this one
took longer what was the last movie you saw, Laughing Boy?
I saw The Disaster Artist.
Yes.
Yes, thank you.
I made it all the way through it.
I liked it.
I've never seen The Room.
I don't even feel like I want to.
I saw The Disaster Artist.
I saw enough of The Room to get it.
It was bad.
Tommy, here's what I thought of yesterday, and I saved it.
The room is like if Balky Bartokomis was a dick.
That's what he sounds like.
He sounds like Balky just running around being a dick.
He's pretty nice. Get stout. He's not mean to anybody, really. He's pretty nice. Get out.
He's not mean to anybody, really.
He's just weird.
I met from the disaster.
And when you watch the room,
you don't get all of the behind-the-scenes footage
that you get from the disaster artist
where you find out that he is kind of mean.
Oh, he was?
I mean, spoiler alert, he doesn't wear a belt.
Wait a minute, dude. Yeah, he was? I mean, spoiler alert, he doesn't wear a belt. Wait a minute, dude.
Yeah, he wears two belts.
You mean
the movie about the making of The Room
has more behind-the-scenes footage
and information than the actual movie
The Room? The Room doesn't have any behind-the-scenes
footage. It is all scenes footage.
The Room is front-of-scenes footage. The room is full of scenes footage.
That's ridiculous. What the hell kind of movie is this?
I don't know, man. Same caterers as my previous joke.
And just to say, Cum Rags seemed like a morning radio show thing,
not an afternoon radio show thing.
And it took me that long to figure out why I said it.
I didn't get it earlier.
I just said it too quick.
They moved from mornings to afternoons recently,
so that's why they're getting rid of all their comrades.
And now we're back to Kevin Kraft.
Kevin Kraft.
You got enough? Yeah, yeah, I'm good. You got enough rope?
I'm good.
Okay.
Lisa's just chilling with her mic over there.
It's like a lap dog.
Kevin, answer the questions.
Well, we've got the aforementioned Jason Ellis show on Sirius XM channel 103 weekdays.
And then I do my own podcast, Mad Scientist Party Hour.
The most difficult podcast name to remember.
I really fucked myself on that one.
But it's on the Riotcast network if you want to check it out.
Mad Scientist Party Hour.
Boom.
I remember.
Thank you, Jacob.
Yeah.
It's not that hard.
And I can't remember if Jim and Andy or Mudbound was the last movie I saw.
So, take your pick.
Mud and Andy.
Were there any black people in it?
That's how you can tell.
Yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mudbound was hysterical.
That was tough.
That's a tough movie.
I'm a big fan of Garrett Hedlund.
It takes about an hour to get going.
And then it's really good.
And then it's really horrifying.
Yeah, I bet.
It sounds like that movie is a bit bogged down in the mud.
Did you really, like, struggle to get a mic for that?
No, it was pretty easy to get the mic.
This room was silent, and just offstage, I heard,
Oh, who did it
who did it
that was
that was probably
Josh
oh my god
I mean we're gonna
we're gonna get there
before
we were ahead of
last night
schedule wise but we also have two less guests tonight We're going to get there before. We were ahead of last night schedule-wise.
But we also have two less guests tonight.
Lisa, have you seen any movies lately?
I don't know.
Oh, it is on.
Okay.
You know what?
I saw the Netflix original documentary film about Joan Didion.
Did anybody see that?
What's it called?
I can't remember what it's called, but it's...
Let's think of a title for it.
Anybody Google?
Been There, Didion That.
There you go.
Who is it about?
I didn't know much about Joan Didion,
but I did take away that she...
Oh, Jay Diddy?
Jay Diddy.
No, I know everything about Jay Diddy
is that a person I don't know okay Jay Diddy did I say Jane Diddy in it was a pee Diddy joke guys
is it one in the morning what's happening anyway she wore her sunglasses all the time and she drank all the time yeah and
she was she drank coca-cola yeah and she was this great writer and I cried a lot
she recommended it was a real tear breaker tear breaker I can't talk
tonight jerker jerker yeah no you should anyone seen it? Yeah, it's pretty good, right?
Two people saw it.
Rosa saw it.
Everybody that saw it loves it.
Yeah, we all loved it.
Some Joan Didion movie.
The Jane Didion.
Look for it on Netflix.
You guys, look for that Jane Didion film.
And what do you got to plug?
Do you have any dates coming up?
You know, I just got a little fun show tomorrow night in Santa Monica
at the West Side Comedy Theater.
And I have on Sunday, I'm doing stand-up at Golden Hour
at Cafecito Organico on Gilroy.
I like to keep it local.
All right.
We did it. We got through all the
plugs and we
learned about a lot of great movies that are
out there. Now we're going to do all of us tell you
a movie you should see that you haven't seen.
We got another couple hours to kill. Do you have one for
that? Are you loaded? I've never successfully
done that. That's the hardest game to play
on the show.
Because either you've seen it or you're just like,
nah, fuck that. I'm not watching it. You know what? Someone told me
I think it was
on Instagram maybe
a great movie that I haven't
seen that I do want to see because
I do hear how great it is all the time.
Four Lions.
Yes. Yeah, see the people who
know it get excited. I did Four Lions before we started the show.
And everybody is...
I think I would like this movie.
All right, so that's on my list of things to see.
But, you know, as we get into maybe a few times
during the Jeff Tate shows, that question will come up.
But we don't have time for that tonight, Jacob,
because tonight we have to play these games and give away all these prizes,
and lots of people have brought amazing name tags.
So, ladies and gentlemen on the stage, it's time to go select who you're going to play for.
And I take it back.
We're not ahead of schedule.
We're way behind schedule we're way behind
we're way behind last night yeah just go grab whoever just the name tag not the person whoever
you want to play for and while you guys do that we'll do this we'll be right back 12 guests of
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on any new subscription today let's get back to the show all right we're back. Great job, everybody. Were there more or less name tags last night?
Oh, I didn't notice one way or the other.
You didn't take a count?
No, but there were lots both nights, so lots to choose from.
But let's start with Rosa. Who are you playing for?
I'm playing for...
Playing for nobody can hear what you're saying.
Oh.
Hi. I'm playing for Kinderdaren cop yeah it's a nice one and you're under his crotch yeah I'm right
there underneath that's going you're fisting him. But in the actual movie,
my face is covering up the kid that goes,
boys have a penis, girls have a vagina.
Classic line.
All right, this will move things along.
Joe is playing for someone
that made a Nicole and her sisters poster.
Jacob, who are you playing for?
I'm playing for someone named Josh
that has made a creepy elf with the word Josh.
It's not clever.
The thing is, I'm not going to lie.
I was a little insulted nobody put my name on
or my face on the thing,
so I picked the shittiest one on purpose.
It's like, yeah, I know.
It's immature and it's like petty,
but fuck that, I'm petty.
It's just a creepy little doll with Josh on it.
And also, you know,
I thought if there's any way that you Josh on it. And also, you know,
I thought if there's any way that you might want it,
I could, you know... I thought you might want that.
Is that supposed to be Josh Wolfe or no?
It says Josh on it.
It's just your name, Josh.
No, we just said it was creepy,
not Josh-like.
I don't know.
It depends on where you are in your edible schedule.
Okay, Adam?
I am playing for Love Maxually.
Love Actually, one of my biggest guilty pleasures.
That's cute.
Yes.
Yeah, some people like that movie.
I love it.
Whenever I'm running through an airport.
Ricky, who are you playing for?
I'm playing for Bat Rob,
because he made eye contact with me
and went like this, and I felt guilty and went, okay.
So, that's it.
It's like a little Batman doll that says Rob on it?
Yeah.
Okay.
With tape, yeah, it's fine.
Josh?
I'm playing for Lawrence of
Olivia
because
she called my name
and then she reached
her hand up
and I was like
okay
yeah
I like you
I like how you do this
it's a real interesting
system you have
Mark
I have good news
for Jacob Searoff
he actually made it
into a poster
as the greatest Jedi in the galaxy, Luke Skywalker,
in Return of the Jason.
That would be quite a legend.
This is the greatest Star Wars movie of all time,
in my opinion.
Sure.
It is Return of the Jedi slash Jason.
And when I met him up there, I saw it and I said,
hey, Return of the Jason, cool. What's your name? And he shook and he said, Jason. And when I met him up there, I saw it and I said, hey, Return of the Jason, cool, what's your name?
And he shook and he said,
Jason.
I was a little confused
seeing Sirov
as my favorite character.
So you're more of a
Qui-Gon kind of guy.
Yeah.
All right, Jeremiah.
I'm playing for a diehard poster
that got relabeled Ben Hard.
It's so...
It's so bad it's the best one out there.
The funny thing to me about that is it almost sounds like Ben Hur like just do Ben Hur
or Ben there's a movie called Ben sure what do you got there Demi I have two Knicks two furious Wow, that is a beautiful poster. Which is also not really a pun,
and I picked this because it is the worst movie of my favorite franchise,
and also because Sam Levine is in this poster,
because this person probably thought he was going to be here,
and I have beat him!
You fool! You could have just left Tyrese on the poster.
Jeff.
I'm playing for Brian.
To live in Brian in LA is the poster he made.
It's pretty cool.
It's really cool. Yeah, you just saw it for the first time. It's pretty cool. It's really cool.
Yeah, you just saw it for the first time.
I really liked it.
It's got the same lyricist as Wang Chung.
Yeah, it's basically Wang Chung songs.
Yeah, it's Wang Chung did all the music.
That was a true sentence.
That's how good I am at comedy.
You laughed, didn't even know it was true. But did you see your face on Fate of the Furious?
Yeah, yeah. But that's not fair. I was actually didn't even know it was true. But did you see your face on the Fate of the Furious? Yeah, yeah.
But that's not fair.
I was actually in that movie.
Oh, okay.
Like, that's where my face is on the poster.
I played the second two.
Kevin, yours is kind of disturbing.
Yeah, I got another Jeff Tate vehicle, Flowers in the Garrett.
I saw this movie when I was a little kid, and it fucking destroyed me.
It's Flowers in the Attic normally, right?
Yeah, this is like the most depressing movie I've ever seen.
I don't know why I picked this.
It's the kids resort to incest with each other
i don't know why i did that but yeah this is it's got a couple of bottles of tito's on there and a
little joint coming out of my mouth there's two airplane bottles of tito's to help you deal with
the depression after watching flowers in the attic yeah okay it's on the theaters
with my mom we haven't started the games yet jacob
i started the games two hours before the show started
okay i don't know why was that weird uh lisa well i have an actual I chose this one because it's an actually a lamp and I brought a lamp today.
So that makes sense. And it's a, it's, I do love that movie, A Christmas Story. What a classic, right?
And, uh,
Mota Finga. And no one knows what I'm talking about. But this one, the name tag is
A Christmas Bobby.
Because Bobby sounds so much like story.
Yeah.
I mean, between that and Ben Hard,
we got some of the greatest puns.
A Christmas Bobby is just the British name
for a Christmas story.
Well, you don't have to
hold that the whole time.
You can set your leg down.
I want to.
I want to hold it.
If you'd like.
And in fact,
all of you can
place your name tags down.
I will ask you for them back
when you get eliminated tonight.
And that is
the unfortunate reality
is we're going to start
saying goodbye to some of you.
But first... Sorry, Bobby. We we're gonna play a game to determine who goes first tonight and probably won't be eliminated first I'd
hope if you're going first in Last Man Stanton that you won't you won't draw a
blank I've picked a very famous actor for us to play tonight but this first game is
called Doug loves musicals I am going to say the title the track titles the song
titles from a musical a movie musical you all get to guess as often as you'd
like you know you can just shout it out
and we'll get a microphone to you if you seem to have an answer that's correct. And any pre-guesses?
It's a movie musical. No, no, no, no, no. Is it Grease 2? No.
No.
No.
Mudbound is in a... I don't think.
Streets of Fire.
Frozen.
No.
No.
No.
Singing in the Rain.
No.
Umbrellas of...
I don't know.
All right, here we go.
Take Crazy Nights.
Those are all great guesses, you guys.
But here is the actual songs.
This movie musical has a song in it called
When Love is Gone.
It also has a song called Thankful Heart.
Annie Hall.
Annie Hall?
Toy Story 2?
Wait, who's a rock?
Evita!
I'm glad you guys don't have mics, most of you, because you're yelling the dumbest shit.
There's a song in this movie musical called Good King Wenceslas.
Christmas Carol. The King and I.
Eight Crazy Nights.
There's a song called
Chairman of the Board.
Chairman of the Board.
Robin and the Seven Hoods?
No. Surf Ninjas. of the board. Robin and the Seven Hoods? Nope.
Surf Ninjas.
There's a song called It Feels Like Christmas.
And if you know
in the audience, please don't
try to help.
I have a guess. The Preacher's Wife?
Christmas
Scat.
What?
No. Opposites of Track by Paul Abdul. The Scat. No.
Opposites Attract by Paula Abdul.
The scat fucked me up.
Christmas morning.
Scrooged, the musical.
A Christmas story.
Christmas past.
Christmas Carol.
Christmas future.
The Muppet Christmas Carol.
The Muppet Christmas Carol is correct
who said that it was you and you're holding a mic and you didn't say it into
the mic no no he had the mic and then I was like why the fuck did you use your bike
Michael Caine one more sleep till Christmas bless us all Marley and Marley
Scrooge and then this was the one I thought would really give it away. There's a song in it called Fuzzy Wigs Party.
Fuzzy.
All right, so Jeff, oh, you're off to a hot start.
You get to go first in a massive game of Last Man Stanton.
And Kevin will be next, then Lisa, then Rosa,
and around that way, right?
Yeah, that's clockwise.
And Sam's not here to tell me which way is clockwise.
And if you don't, there's no lifelines.
There's no lifelines, so if you
miss, you're out.
I don't know what everybody's discussing with each other.
But I picked a name miss, you're out. I don't know what everybody's discussing with each other. But
I picked a name
instead of going to the audience like we do a lot
of times because there's no reason for me to play
along because we've got to get through this.
And I've actually written down all of the
films that this person was
in. You have to have the correct title.
So be careful,
you guys. And thank you all for
being here.
We leave the stage if we're out in this version right
you know what just go now
on Hanukkah Doug
on Hanukkah
yeah yeah give us all a gift
yeah yeah just give us all a gift.
Yeah, yeah, just give me your,
I'll ask for your name tag,
because I'll read the shithead on the back at the end,
and thank you for being here,
each and every one of you.
You're all my favorite.
Jeff?
Hi.
If you had to name somebody, who would you love for us to play tonight?
Who would really give you an opportunity to take this thing home?
Jennifer Aniston.
Because Jeff was here last night, so that makes perfect sense.
Also, as we play this game, wait until I call your name to say the next
title because I have to keep up
and make sure I
mark off each one as we say them
and also for dramatic
purposes
and I might want to talk about something else
at some point
but Jeff
there's an actress
that played Jennifer Aniston's sister on Friends,
and now they're going to do a new TV series together.
Reese Witherspoon.
The films of Reese Witherspoon.
Oh, man.
They're making a TV show together?
They're both going back to TV together.
Really? That's wild.
Sure is.
TV together. Really? That's wild. Sure is.
Reese beat
her to it, though. She's already doing the TV.
Alright, so Jeff
started us off with the motion
picture called Wild,
starring Reese Witherspoon. Josh,
I almost feel like you should just leave
just for not
even knowing that she was in a movie called Wild.
It was a big movie.
She got awards for it.
Yeah.
She's practically the only person in it.
Yeah.
Oh, I've seen that movie.
Oh, okay, you've seen it.
Okay.
All right, so now we're on Kevin now.
We're going to get to you in a bit, buddy.
Yeah, you got to really think hard
because a lot of movies are going to be taken
by the time it gets to you.
Kevin Kraft.
Election.
Election.
I don't know why you guys are yelling out,
but don't.
All right, he says election.
Lisa.
Sweet Home Alabama?
Yeah.
I hope you have the right answer every time
and always say it like you can't believe
that it could possibly be correct.
Someone in the audience just said,
thank God, Alabama.
Thank God half of them
are reasonable and somehow
managed to beat voter suppression.
I don't know how
they did it. A lot of waiting
in lines, I guess, but good for them.
Rosa?
American Psycho.
Wow, that's a...
A lot of people don't think of that as a Reese Witherspoon
movie, but it certainly is.
Yeah, good job.
Joe? Legally Blonde.
I love the clapping for what
everyone here should know.
Right?
Get the easy ones out of the way.
I don't know if I want to be here next time around,
so I just want to say sorry to Max,
because he did put me on the thing.
And he put me with Liam Neeson, who plays Qui-Gon Jinn,
and Keir Knightley, who's also a fan of Menace.
So thanks, Max.
That's Adam's poster.
Let me just jump ahead.
If anybody else wants to make a speech before answering, don't.
I'm trying to move this thing along.
I think that was my goodbye for the night because I don't know
Reese Witherspoon that well, but I will go with the first movie
I saw her in, Freeway.
God damn it! There you go.
Freeway is an answer
that is upset.
It's upset, Adam Green.
What do you got, Adam?
Didn't Wahlberg finger her in
fear? Was that what it was called?
Her own fingers.
Okay, so, but for future reference,
asking a question like that,
where then the audience responds in the affirmative
telling that you're correct,
is kind of a form of cheating.
Well, fear, that's...
Yeah, fear is correct.
You don't... This isn't fear is correct. You don't...
This isn't Jeopardy.
You don't need to form it as a question.
But good job on the fingering movie.
The fingering.
No, I don't...
Yeah, I don't think he gets his whole fist in there.
It's a two-minute ride, man.
Look, I feel good.
Ricky?
Walk the line.
Yeah.
Yeah, she's here to win it.
I mean, this might be it.
Josh?
Hold on.
I mean, guys.
Oh, my God, you're terrible at this.
Yeah, I am.
Oh!
Oh!
No.
What lady did you mix her up with?
Well, here's the thing.
Like, I can think of the movies, but I can't really remember the names.
And that's why I suck at this particular game.
Right.
So... Well, let's just go through it what other movies has she been fingered in I couldn't think of
any that was the problem so how about was she in, did she do Legally Blonde?
Did you just look at your name tag?
Did she do Legally Blonde 2?
She sure did, but it's got a full title.
I got it.
I got it.
It's Legally Blonde 2, Go Home Josh.
That is incorrect, but also correct. It's Josh Wolf.
Thank you.
Give me your
name tag please.
Yeah, if you don't mind.
It's a lot of extra walking around.
I know you've had a hard day.
Oh, wow. You just kicked the shit out of that Josh doll. It's got your of extra walking around. I know you've had a hard day. Oh, wow. You just kicked the shit
out of that Josh doll.
It's got your name on it, dude.
Are you going to hang out or are you going to be gone when it's over?
I'm hanging out. Okay.
It's good seeing you, buddy.
Thank you.
Aww.
So sweet.
You guys are jealous. I've been counting the minutes for that to happen. He guys are jealous.
I've been counting the minutes for that to happen.
He drives me crazy.
He's over there having fun, not worrying about answers.
Mark Ellis has an answer.
Yeah, I do, and I feel bad because, like, I was trying to...
Josh is a good buddy of mine.
I was trying to throw as Moses passed the sequel titled
Legally Blonde 2
and I don't want to be
the guy that takes it
but if I don't
somebody else up here will
right
so to say Legally Blonde 2
it's a pro-America movie
it made America great
for the first time
red white and blonde
that is right
not to freak you guys out or anything but I'm pretty sure Blonde. That is right.
Not to freak you guys out or anything,
but I'm pretty sure that's the only sequel Reese Witherspoon's ever been involved in.
So, good luck, everybody.
Jeremiah?
Has anybody said clueless yet?
Why would they say that?
Has anybody said Batman and Robin yet?
Makes me want a hot dog real bad.
Do you think... So if we were playing Alicia Silverstone,
you'd probably still be up here.
But we're not.
So thank you, Jeremiah Watkins.
Man, I was really going to hold on to red, white, and blonde.
But instead, hey, Doug, I have a joke.
What? Why? What, why?
What's happening?
Why did Gollum wrap up his ring?
Do you?
For Christmases.
I got one for you.
What's Gollum's favorite movie?
The Hobbit.
No.
Precious.
Precious.
Based on a novel pushed by Sapphire.
Based on the novel by Sapphire.
I just did that.
I'm sorry.
Jeff.
Mud.
Mud, yes.
She's in a movie called Mud.
We have to keep going?
Yeah, that's the idea.
Doug, I just want to say I'm sorry for you,
and I'm very stressed out right now.
Lisa, use your microphone and tell us proudly the name of another...
What?
Oh, yeah, yeah, it's Kevin Stern.
But it will still be the same game
when it gets to you.
But still Reese?
Yeah.
It's Reese for all the time.
It's Reese or nothing.
Like, if you can't come up
with another Reese, yeah.
I almost just said one of the titles of her movies.
I won't do that, though.
Kevin?
I think she was in Monsters vs. Aliens, right?
Yeah, she was.
Sorry, guys.
Oh, no.
Well, you got a little time to think.
Lisa, of course, it's been great.
It's been great having you here.
Feels like you might not have another one ready to go.
I was trying to figure out your hint from earlier. Uh... Uh... You might...
I'm sorry, Bobby.
It's Bobby's lamp.
No, I just...
Grease.
Because her name... That's a terrific guess.
Thank you, Lisa.
Lisa Delarios, everybody.
Oh my God, I almost shit.
What? Because the show's so long or because this is so exciting?
It's nerve-wracking.
It is? Yeah.
Look at Mark over there. He looks so
nervous.
Just sipping his weird beer.
I mean, it's a regular beer, right?
Oh, it's sweaty.
Yeah.
You got one of those, Seth?
It's a bacon beer.
I do.
I don't know if anyone has said cruel intention.
No, they haven't.
That's why it's nerve wracking.
She did get fingered in cruel intention.
I was like, oh my God, that's definitely going to do it.
All right.
Pass the mic to Joe.
I got the deepest cut.
The deepest cut.
Jack the Bear.
Yep.
Yep. It. Yep.
It's true.
Good job, Joey.
All right, get it together.
Jacob, start talking, please.
My cut's so deep, it's in the future.
How about A Wrinkle in Time?
That counts.
The trailer's out.
You know, we've...
I've never done it,
but I've been on the show so many times
that other people have done it,
so I'm going to be very disappointed
if you don't accept it.
Because you really can't come up with another one?
That's the one I came up with.
Right, but let's say you had to come up with another one.
Okay.
Would you do that?
Because I try to tell people that,
no, they cannot
do movies that are in the future.
And generally I say okay
when it's a guest that's probably not going to last
much longer anyway. Really? I feel like I've seen
some heavy hitters do it. Yeah, I would never give
Sam Levine the opportunity to...
Doug, I'd like to point out, that movie comes out
in March, so she could still be cut from the film.
That's an excellent point.
She could be Kevin Spacey out of that shit.
You actually gave Sam...
The Hollywood Reporter has dirt on Reese Witherspoon right now.
You gave Sam Levine the accountant in San Diego
before it came out. I was there.
What? Yeah, you offered Ben Affleck.
All right, well, send me the tape. I won't listen to it.
What's your answer? That's my answer.
Wrinkle in time. I want to use it. I can't use it.
I'm pretty stumped. It's really all I have right now.
Until I can think of another one.
Well, think of another one.
Instead of continually pressing me to let you cheat.
No, I meant another one while the other people were answering.
I could maybe think of another one.
Oh, I see.
That's really all I have at the moment.
Okay, we'll come back to you later.
No, that's...
You're out, but we'll come back to you.
How am I out?
She's in the movie.
How am I out?
That's going to be controversial, Doug.
I generally don't allow movies that have not come out yet.
And every once in a while, maybe I might have.
I might have said yes to The Accountant, but I do not believe you.
And like I said, send me the tape.
I won't listen to it.
And we'll move on with our lives.
Doug, I have a quick way to solve this.
What if Reese Witherspoon could create a wrinkle in time where Jacob never answered?
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I generally say no to future ones, but you know,
maybe one time I said yes, but...
Doug, if you're allowing future ones, in 20 years
Reese Witherspoon's gonna do a movie I'm writing right now.
What's it called?
It's a remake of Stepmom.
It's called Fear 2, Only the Coasters.
See, I trusted him to have an answer, Jeff, when I asked him.
Anyway.
Jacob Stirov, everybody! Anyway Jacob Searoff everybody Give me that creepy doll
Thank you
She was in the trailer
For A Wrinkle in Time
No
Oh no I got it
That military one.
Okay, go ahead.
Wait, what?
On the army.
I'm sorry, Adam.
I can't make out what you're saying.
Once in the frozen.
My frozen.
Because none of y'all have fucking seen it.
Frozen. Boom.
She's not her bat.
It was wicked nice being here.
Thank you, Adam Green. Ricky did you manage to think of one?
Monsters vs. Aliens was my safety
because I was her voice in the TV show
so I was like oh got this forever
and then it was like fuck
I think
she was in the importance of being earnest
she was
oh my god okay
sweet alright
okay I really wasn't sure
on that one alright good
good
I should have said at the beginning that you have
to answer a movie that I've written down on this
piece of paper
because I haven't written down a wrinkle in time that you have to answer a movie that I've written down on this piece of paper. Got it.
Because I haven't written down A Wrinkle in Time.
That would have been a good way to scuttle that problem.
Oh, God, now what?
She's got two or three movies in post, I think, that people might have tried to say.
Mark?
Well, continuing the theme of the night with fear and cruel intentions,
Chris Pine and Tom Hardy were vying for the right to finger her in This Means War.
This Means War.
That was my safety.
God damn.
I got nothing.
Yeah, that was the one I had too.
We're back to Demi and it's out.
You know, I was really excited to give you an answer,
but it's fine because I'm just going to go home again.
Oh!
Oh!
Demi is terrific.
I'll take that hoodie, Demi.
That was really powerful.
I sat here for 20 minutes just like,
all right, Demi, what are you going to say?
How are you going to lead into it?
Very dramatic.
Jeff, he's stealing your game
with working the title into a sentence.
Oh, man.
And I can't do...
It doesn't matter.
She's in a movie called
Overnight Delivery.
Yeah, she is.
All right.
For some reason,
the movie Overnight Delivery
on IMDb,
in parentheses after the title,
it says video.
I don't know what the fuck
that's about.
It's a movie, I saw it
It's a movie
Kevin
You got another one? This is getting tough
Yeah
So I'm just going to guess one of those holiday movies
And hope she's in it
Is she in Valentine's Day?
No
Thank you, Kevin Craft
The importance of being earnest
scared stupid
this was fun Doug
thank you everybody
do you want your vodka
are you going to drink that
alright he's not going to drink it I will
I'll tear those off of here
Rosa how do you feel
at this point do you think you got one?
I'm so sweaty.
Oh, fuck. Yeah, I think so.
I think it was the first movie she ever
did. She was nine. It was a Spielberg
movie called Man in the Moon.
The Man in the Moon.
Spielberg had something to do with that?
Yeah, he met with her
for that.
And she's in it, and I think he directed it actually he definitely met with her but
we don't have to know directors so mark it down as a win you're welcome, Darren. Great job.
Joe is really not sure what to do.
I'm seriously stressed.
I think she was recently in a film called Just Go With It.
Wasn't she?
Where she bangs the younger guy
and that's the whole...
Don't ask the audience.
Don't answer him.
Just pretend you're not here.
Sorry, I forgot.
Isn't that Jennifer Aniston?
Yeah, I don't think that
that's a Reese Witherspoon movie.
That would have worked last night.
Just go with it?
Yeah, isn't that a Jennifer Aniston movie?
I think maybe, yeah.
All right.
Doesn't she just go with it?
Yeah.
I think she does.
I think Jennifer goes with it.
Yeah.
Jennifer goes with it.
It's Adam Sandler.
God damn it.
And the blonde girl.
All right.
I guess that's it for me, man.
I tried.
I tried.
Yeah.
You might not want to stick around when I say the movies we didn't say because, you might not want to stick around
when I say the movies we didn't say
because, you know, you're going to
kick yourself to death.
Thank you, Joe DeRosa.
Do you want to go up?
I'm not going to be here when you're done.
I'm just going to go home.
All right, bye.
All right, I'll see you later, buddy.
Oh, we're back to you, Ricky.
Do you have another miracle poll? Okay, my mind is circling around this.
I don't know if it's a real movie,
but I recall a photo of her
in a circus outfit
with Robert Pattinson in the magazine.
And I can only think of this.
Is this baiting?
Is it?
You just gave it to Demi.
Maybe.
Is it called Water for Elephants?
Yes.
Is that it?
That does not sound like a real movie.
Wow. I did not think. Okay. All right. That sounds like a real movie! Wow!
I did not think...
Okay, alright.
So there's got to be something else in the back of my brain.
Again, back to my Jeopardy analogy.
Can you imagine if the audience was like,
Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh!
Like, just making noises, encouraging the person to say it?
Well, I remembered the picture.
I just didn't know about the water and elephants part.
No, I thought you were
on the right track
and you didn't need
to get all that encouragement.
But Mark,
this audience clearly
has picked a winner
for themselves.
Dude, this is so hard
because I know
I'm between pronouns.
Right? I'm between pronouns. Right?
I'm between pronouns.
I'm a huge Van Halen fan, so when this movie came out, and I like both, there was Van Halen,
the Van Hagar here has a song called When It's Love, and it's how do I know when it's love?
So I can't remember the name of her movie.
Damn, that sucks.
You're not talking about the song, right?
It's a great song.
No, yeah, I love music or whatever you're talking about now.
Well, I'm just going to relax over here by the piano with my favorite beverages.
It's like, it's either...
Okay, look, let's just put it on the table. It's either
how do I know, or it's how do you know?
So why would you title a movie
How Do I Know? Because it's like, oh, well,
how do I know? It's like, hey, I'm the person in the movie. I'm wondering how do I know when it's love or or?
It could be hey, how do you know where if you're just walking you just saw a movie
Hey, you say you just saw frozen and you're like man was really weird the guy didn't have a belt and you're walking out
And you see a poster and it says how do you know and you're like hey that's talking to me that's like how to hey honey that
could be us we should see so if I was a marketing
exec I'd call the movie how do you know
what are you going with Well, he said no speeches.
All right.
I'm going to go with the marketing exec,
because if there's one thing Reese Witherspoon knows how to do... Don't stand like that.
There's one thing Reese knows how to do.
Doug, the answer to the question
is how do you know?
That is correct.
Yeah!
Goddamn marketing execs.
How do I know when it's love?
That movie cost $120 million, by the way.
That is not a joke.
What?
Yeah.
Just a fun fact for you all.
I don't have...
Someone's read the Panama Papers.
That's a great Van Halen song.
You guys, I'm going to go.
Just turn the lights off when you're done.
Turn the lamp, the leg lamp off.
Before you leave.
Do you have another one for us, Demi?
Honestly, I got nothing.
So I'm just going to say five words
and hope that it forms a sentence.
Okay.
Christmas, car, Judaism, Torah, exit.
All right.
It was a good try.
Let me have that name tag.
Thank you, Demi Adjibay.
Thank you, Demi and Djibe. Thank you.
Jeff Tate, hanging in there.
I think...
Eight terrible, horrible children are gone.
Four lovely, bright children are left.
Ugh.
I have nothing.
One of them has a stomach ache.
Is she in a movie called
Twilight?
Yep.
It's called Twilight.
It's a no vamps Twilight.
It's got Paul Newman
and Gene Hackman are in it too.
It's like a detective movie.
I don't think Gene Hackman is in it, but you could stop and you got it right.
You're good.
Someone put tape over their shithead.
That was cool.
A little instruction saying don't remove till the end of the show
you got anything Rosa?
I mean these are three of our
greatest competitors that are here on stage
with you so there's no reason to feel bad
you did great
there's a movie she did with Mark Ruffalo
was she a ghost? I'm trying to remember.
Oh, yeah, that one.
What was that?
I saw that shit in theaters three times.
There's like a scene with the pneumothorax.
It's called sweet...
No.
No.
It's not called...
Sweet Ghost Alabama.
It's not dead again.
You again?
Are we dead?
Chances are.
Oh, fuck.
Is it how do you die or how do we die?
Something.
I want to say it's like having you around or something like that.
Oh, fuck.
I want to figure it's like having you around or something like that. Oh, fuck. I want to figure this out with you.
Is it, is it, hold up, Kinder Darren.
Damn.
Is it, I'm calling on my mind gods to give me something.
Was she in any of the Maze Runner movies?
No.
They tried to get her.
No, I'm just kidding.
Fuck.
You did a great job here today.
Pieces of You?
There was a Katie Holmes movie called Pieces of April.
Yeah, but that's not it.
But that's not the game we're playing. Pieces of April Pieces of me the jewel
thank you Rosa Salazar
I've never seen more people ignore
a dodgy cum rag
that's a great way to ignore a dodge a cum rag.
That's a great way to lose, just throwing a cum rag into the crowd.
All right, so Ricky, pass that.
Can we move these mics around so you each have one?
Everybody gets a mic now.
Or Mark can come grab that one.
I feel like it's only in heaven.
Heaven can wait.
Something about heaven.
I'm in heaven. But go back in your original place, Mark, because you've got to be in order. Heaven. I'm in heaven. You're in heaven. Heaven can wait. Something about heaven. I'm in heaven. Go back in your original place, Mark, because you've got to be in order.
Heaven. I'm in heaven.
You're in heaven. Don't confuse me.
Peace of heaven.
Alright, you've worked out the math.
You have to pick a title. It's Mark Ruffalo.
She's dead. Just pick a title.
It's so close.
What do you want to call it?
It's so close.
What do you want to call it?
Dead again?
I don't know.
I quit.
I don't remember.
I'm in heaven.
It's not that either.
No.
Oh, you can't tell me because they can get it.
Okay, that's all for me.
Thank you.
Oh, thank you, Ricky Lindholm.
Sorry, Rob. I like this little Batman guy.
Thank you for my lamp. Woo!
Woo!
All right, Mark.
We're going to give Jeff his first win
if you can't come up with something.
She's just in so many goddamn movies
where she's wearing, like, a sweater.
She's got that look on her face like,
hey, can you believe it's me?
Yeah, we can.
There's like, I know that there's a movie
that was like, came out a couple years ago.
It was around like Oscar award season kind of time,
but it didn't get any notice.
And it was like her, she's like working in Washington,
like trying to like find some, fuck.
That's Legally Blonde 2, man.
I think I just gotta take a shot where I think, like,
she's in a movie where, like, she's, like,
playing the wife of somebody.
The sweater's
wife.
Starring Reese Witherspoon.
The sweater maker's wife.
It's about a sweater that goes time traveling.
She's like,
I can't believe I married a sweater that's not even here
half the time.
Alright, so I'm either gonna go with
one of those movies, like those McConaughey movies where it's not even here half the time. All right, so I'm either gonna go with like one of those like movies, like those McConaughey movies,
where like, it's like he goes back in time,
like Ghost of Girlfriends past,
but I don't think she's in that, so.
She's one of our top actresses.
I'm gonna say that she was in a,
that she played like the girlfriend back at home of one of the boys at war in the movie Stop Loss.
No.
I heard the same.
It's that microphone.
It makes the things you say come out stupid.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I got a new one.
Thank you, Mark Ellis.
Nice try.
Hand me your name tag
and go.
And Brian, live Brian wins all the live live in Brian LA whatever that
says he would surprises where's Brian at
guess he's gone home oh there he is all right, so yeah, can you reach all that stuff?
There you go.
It's not quite as much as last night, so that's good, I guess.
And Jeff Tate is our winner!
Did you have another one ready to go?
Another answer to rub it in their faces?
Oh, did anybody say walk the line yeah yeah no i don't have
any we named all of them uh no you missed some but uh hang on a second i don't know why you're yelling
uh i have it all written down i'm just gonna say it you don't get a show off uh a far off place best laid plans devil's
not hot pursuit uh just like heaven just like heaven just like heaven little nicky she's the
girl in that sandler movie she's got a part in inherent vice penelope pleasantville
rendition sing the animated movie the good lie vanity fair
and SFW
those are all the films of Reese Witherspoon
we did it
and Jeff Tate
has one win under his belt
I could be done right
seven more shows to go
Tate Crazy Nights has just begun.
We'll see you tomorrow night, Orlando.
And we got a lot of
shitheads up here.
Thank you to Largo.
Thank you for everybody that's here tonight.
Thank you for staying for such a long presentation.
I think tonight's is longer than last night's
was.
Thanks to all my guests for being here
and probably all being gone right now.
It's so sad when I come
off stage after the show and everyone's gone.
Oh, okay.
They're still here.
Yeah, but I'm talking about the pot smokers.
As always.
What?
All the kids who called us Nickelodeon growing up are a shithead?
Two Nicks, two Furious.
Oh, because your name is Nick,
so people called you Nickelodeon?
All of us.
Okay.
Oh, two Nicks, two Furious.
Okay.
I mean, you saw how that went over with the crowd.
Biff Tannen is a shithead.
Still having 1,133 days
in Donald Trump's first term
is a shithead.
What?
Ginger spice?
For reals?
Oh, Ginger Spice leaving the Spice Girls is a shithead.
Yeah, that probably wasn't a great move.
Shitty resolution when you enlarge pictures and fires.
Are a shithead. Peter McAllister is a shithead.
Peter McAllister is a shithead.
Could you have made this more fucking complicated?
Jesus.
It's okay.
The big sick being completely shut out
from the damn Golden Globes is a shithead.
But they picked up some nominations
from the SAG Awards
and the SAG Award for Best Cast,
the five movies that are nominated for that,
Mudbound, Big Sick,
Three Billboards, and a couple others,
Lady Bird, and one more.
Get Out.
Oh, wait.
Show's over?
All of those movies,
the movie's best picture winner
of the Oscars for the last 22 years
has been one of the five movies
nominated by SAG for Best Ensemble.
So, Big Sick is back in it, you guys.
People who claim Die Hard isn't a Christmas movie or a shithead.
I don't think I have as many shitheads as there were contestants, but whatever.
This is not a great one to end on.
Should have rearranged this shit a little bit.
Angry drivers are a shit head.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you
Cause Doug loves movies
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