Doug Loves Movies - Mark Forward, Kayla Lorette and Marc Winegust guest
Episode Date: May 28, 2018Live from the Royal Cinema in Toronto, Doug welcomes Mark Forward, Kayla Lorette and Marc Winegust to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at... https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, green and baby sticky seeds
With 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. It feels like you guys think I won't start unless you do that.
Hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is I Love Movies.
I love how some people are were making their own chant.
They didn't need to bother with the existing one.
Oh, my goodness.
So I just was backstage asking for a mic stand,
and I could not have been more clear about just a straight-up mic stand
and not one that you use for playing guitars.
And then I walked out and saw this.
Pretty good prank Canada
everybody's so nice here and then they fuck you that's how it works
the most these are the most relaxing director's chairs ever invented
These are the most relaxing director's chairs ever invented.
Because you've got to really relax on set.
I've got a script here.
Don't panic.
Also, just a brief warning.
Not a warning, but in these sorts of places, theaters, the exits are clearly marked. There's two here at the front that you came in through.
And then here in the back, I think the exit's on this side.
And the bar next door decided to build a patio on their bar.
And so if you go through that door in the back in a hurry, you're going to think you're trapped.
hurry, you're going to think you're trapped.
You have to make a left,
go past some tables,
and then there's some stairs,
and then there's another door to get out that's not clearly marked.
I just want everybody to know that.
I know I know that.
Here's another way to know what to do.
Follow me.
Because I'm not going to try to go that way.
Back to our regularly scheduled program.
Coming to you once again from the Royal Cinema in Toronto, Ontario, Canada!
Canada!
It's a hot Sunday, May 27th, 2018.
And you know what else Doug loves besides movies?
Name tags.
Oh, look.
You're in the front row and you're lighting up your name tag.
Good call, Charface.
Yeah, Charface. That's what I said, I said i think yeah light up your husband or boyfriend's name tag badass smart ass great ass dead paul i really didn't have to read the whole
thing all right we got lots of them that's all I need to know for now.
You guys are going to have to bring those out again real soon.
Doug plugs.
Austin, Texas.
Doug loves movies.
Next Saturday, June 2nd at Cap City Comedy Club at 420.
Then one week later, I'm at the Secret Group in Texas
on Saturday, June 9th, also at 420.
And Doug loves movies.
Returns to the Gramercy Theater in New York City on June 9th, also at 4.20. And Douglas Movies returns to the Gramercy Theater
in New York City on June 13th.
And we're going to have a gas
at the Helium Comedy Club in St. Louis
on Saturday, June 16th, at 4.20.
Pretty typical of me to do 4.20.
The last time I was here at the Royal Cinema,
the show was, I think it was in the early evening,
like around 7 o'clock.
So thanks for making the adjustment.
And I apologize for the air conditioning.
Are you guys all right?
No, okay, see, I shouldn't have brought it up.
Some people don't think they're hot
until you tell them they're hot.
Like children.
For all of my dates and deets and links and showtimes,
go to douglovesmovies.com.
That's douglovesmovies.com!
Yeah!
Yeah!
From the corrections department,
using Anna Faris in Last Man Sten was a real minefield.
She is not in Scary Movie 5,
but she is in Brokeback Mountain,
and she appears very briefly at the end of 22 Jump Street.
Yeah, apologies to everyone who's hurt by these mistakes.
As you can see, we've got three guest chairs up here today,
and I've got two lovely guests,
which means that one of you
could end up in that third seat for the entire show.
Yeah, so now hold up your name tag
if you desire to be that person. If you have stage fright, don't do it. Just for
sheer size and that so many things are attached to it, including it looks like, DVDs. A DVD and a Blu-ray you've attached to the poster.
And you change it to Swiss Army Mike.
Mark, sorry Mark.
Oh, okay, yeah.
M-A-R-C, got it.
Okay, dude, come on up here.
Use those stairs right over there.
Sharface, you want to play?
Come on up, Sharface.
And we need one more.
What's this no country for old men thing say?
No country for old men.
Love it, don't understand it, but get on up here.
All right, those three people are going to play a quick game
to determine who our third guest is today.
Come on up, Mark.
Why so shy?
Shar? And I'm sorry,
what's your name? Bo. Is that short for something? Borana. Borana. Okay. Sorry I asked.
How'd your parents come up with that name? Use your mic voice. I don't know. Really?
You've never discussed it with them?
No, that's never come up.
Okay.
Let's start with Mark there down on the end.
What's your last name, Mark?
Wangust.
Mark Wangust.
And what else is attached to your name tag over there?
It's a bunch of candy and stuff. I just came from an event that happened this morning.
It's called Walk for Israel,
where a bunch of Jews just walk around downtown giving away free stuff. I just came from an event that happened this morning. It's called Walk for Israel, where a bunch of Jews just walk around downtown, giving away
free stuff. I bet that
smelled great.
But, like, casually dressed Jews
like yourself, not the
Hasidic Jews. Correct. Urban Jews.
Because that would be uncomfortable.
Very. I live in, you know,
Los Angeles. We have the Fairfax district
where acidic Jews are walking around all the time.
And I feel so bad for them because it's so hot.
And they have so many layers.
And then they also have to have a hat
on. Have to.
Right? Right. Is that what
you have a hat on today? No.
No.
It was your own personal choice. Correct.
Okay.
And what do you do for a living?
Well, I was working distribution.
That's why I have the DVD and Blu-ray for this,
because my distribution,
or the distribution company I work for,
distributed it here in Canada.
But right now, I'm a student at York University, and the university's been on strike for 13 weeks.
Oh.
I did not know about that.
Yeah.
So you really need to win these prizes today
yes
alright fair enough
Char what's your last name
it's Charlene
and my last name is
Born like the movies
Borat
oh Born
Born you said Born
Born yes
like the movies
okay Oh, born. Born. You said born. Born, yes. Like the movies.
Okay.
And what do you do?
I work in a retail store that sells outdoor adventure goods.
It sells what?
Outdoor adventure goods.
So backpacks, tents, travel, that kind of thing.
All right. Yeah.
Hi, Boranna.
Hi, Doug.
What's your last name?
I'm Boranna Macri.
Macri?
Macri.
Macri.
Yeah.
Okay.
And what do you do?
I work in healthcare, and I'm a part-time comedian.
A part-time what?
Comedian.
For reals?
Yeah, a little bit.
You know, that's the sort of thing you should either dive in or get out.
I know.
One foot in, one foot out.
All right.
Well, good luck to all three of you today.
What we're going to do to determine who gets to stay up here
is play a little game of Last Man Stanton.
Stanton.
is play a little game of Last Man Stanton.
We have a couple people I pre-selected from Twitter who say they have suggestions for a great Last Man Stanton name.
Let's see if that's true.
Where is Dosta Nuggles?
Is there a person?
D-O-S-T-A-N-U-G-G-L-E-S?
Didn't make it?
Got trampled by a bunch of Jews?
Funny joke, no matter what group he was talking about.
All right.
Sorry that you didn't make it,
but hopefully you'll hear this episode and go,
oh, I got picked.
Good for me.
So it's a good thing I have a backup.
Where's Julie Nguyen?
Yeah, that's you?
Did I pronounce it right?
Julie? But you spell it right? Julie?
But you spell it J-U-L-E-I-G-H.
For fun.
Man, that's a...
That's a fun name.
It's an interesting type of fun.
And you have a suggestion for us,
for a name to play.
And let me just say to everybody on stage,
I have no idea what she's going to say,
but whatever it is, we have to play
unless all three of you shake your heads.
If all three of you can't name a movie this person's in,
then I'll have to find a new name.
But I think Julie's gonna nail it
What do you got?
Hugh Jackman perfect
I for fun I like to call him huge Ackman like would that be a great porn name all right
We'll start with the Burana since you're sitting closest to me
and you're a lady
Les Miserables
Les Miserables
yeah yeah
I don't know what's wrong
with my hearing today
Charlene
Wolverine
yeah
what do you got Mark I'm gonna go with Deadpool 2 okay Charlene. Wolverine. Yeah.
What do you got, Mark?
I'm going to go with Deadpool 2.
Okay.
Sneaky.
Small cameo, but small.
Yeah, okay.
No spoilers.
That already is a spoiler, but I guess it's been out for a couple weeks.
It's been out for a couple weeks.
Solo's the next blockbuster. I mean, they show a figurine of him at the very beginning,
so you could almost call that an appearance right there.
So we won't say anything further.
We're back to Barana.
X-Men?
Can I do another one?
I don't know if it's full title.
I just said, um, before saying,
are you satisfied with that answer?
Because it's correct.
Charlene?
Swordfish.
Yes.
Mark?
X2, X-Men United.
Okay, you don't have to show off, Mark.
With your full titles.
Brianna?
Logan?
Uh-huh.
Back to Charlene.
She looks intense.
Nail biting is happening.
My hoodie's coming off.
Ooh.
Yeah, right?
Meow.
Sorry to distract you with all this sexiness.
I think it's called The Greatest Showman.
I think you're right.
Thank you, baby Jesus.
Hey, what's going on with this device right here?
Yeah.
Film the show? No.
But that's a great ending for what you got.
But that's a great ending for what you got.
Charlene bought you a few seconds.
No, I answered.
No, no, she said The Greatest Showman.
Oh, yeah, you did.
Mark?
X-Men 3, The Last Stand.
Bo?
Was this said already?
X-Men Days of Future Past?
Nobody said it.
Is it that one?
Okay.
Charlene?
God, you guys talk too fast.
No audience answers, please.
X-Men 4.
Let me stop you right there.
They don't have numbers.
Electric Boogaloo.
Oh, is that it for you?
I think that's it.
Oh, let's hear it for Charlene, everybody.
Whichever you prefer, you can continue to sit there,
and I'll probably call your name every round. Or you go back to your seat but you will have to go back
to your seat sometime soon mark I'm gonna keep going with the X-Men train go
X-Men first class okay I've lost track of about this point I mean what he there
people are saying he's not in it. He has a cameo.
Right?
He shows up in every...
He has the best cameo in it.
All right.
Okay, settle down, everybody.
We said Wolverine.
Yeah.
And we said Logan,
and we said a few other ones.
Don't...
I'm confusing him with...
Who's talking out there?
Hugh.
The other Hugh.
Laurie?
Yeah, he gets confused for Hugh Laurie a lot.
Let me think, let me think.
He was in.
Oh, I love it.
I love this build up.
Remember that one?
There's that one where he's all,
hmm.
Hey!
Was he in Enchanted?
No.
Was he in Pride and Prejudice?
Maybe, but you already said Enchanted.
Yeah, so that means Mark is our winner.
Thank you, Boranna and Charlene.
Good game.
We'll put your name tags back in play out there in the audience.
You never know what might happen.
I had a couple more.
Can I be a show-off or no?
What's that?
I had a couple more.
Can I be a show-off?
Well, there's also X-Men Origins Wolverine, right?
Yep.
And what's another one?
Well, The Wolverine, unless that's it.
The Wolverine.
Then the other two I had are kind of related.
Caden Leopold and Butter.
In what way are they related?
Hugh Jackman does the commercial on Caden Leopold
where it's about rich creamery
butter. Okay.
I hope you get back to work soon
because
that's a man
with some time on his hands.
Please just step off into the wings. I'll give you
an official introduction. You can leave your name
tag thing there. You don't have to
Oh, really? Okay, great. there you don't have to oh really okay great
oh shit i already forgot max uh mark's last name wag Wagamoss? What? Wine glass?
Listen to you guys with your racist guesses.
I'll just call him Mark for now.
Mark, what is it?
Oh, he's back there chatting.
Wine gust.
Nobody got it right.
All right. Mark Wine Gust. nobody got it right I'm going to also have to check with him on how to spell that
alright
here we go
please give it up
for Mike Weingust
Kayla Lorette, and Mark, forward!
You got it.
All right.
We've already chatted with Mark a little bit, learned about him.
And how do I spell your last name?
Was I there?
What's that? Oh, this guy's Mark.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
Oh, I shouldn't have picked a Mark.
Hold on, hold on.
Are you a G or a K?
I'm a K.
So I'm a C, so...
That'll be good.
Okay, so we'll just call you the C word.
Yeah.
And how do you spell your last name, though?
W-I-N-E, like a glass of wine,
and G-U-S-T, like gust of wind.
Wow. Shut wind. Wow.
Shut up.
Wow.
You should be the first name on the list at every cocktail party because he's a wine guest.
Sitting to my left, everybody, first time on the show, so treat her nicely.
It's Kayla Lorette, everybody.
Oh, wow. time on the show so treat her nicely it's Kayla Lorette everybody oh wow thanks guys oh it's warm in here I shouldn't have worn this quilted dress
yeah it is quilted now that you mentioned it yeah I thought you were
looking so summery yeah you'd be the most comfortable panelist. No, it's a thick fabric.
All right.
And how do you feel like you'll do in the competition today?
Are you a movie trivia person at all?
Yeah, we'll see.
Yeah, I did just kind of Google earlier popular movies and read a list and went,
okay, let's hope that sticks.
But I feel like something will come.
This is a tough show to cram for.
I used to do categories
where it was about whose birthday it was today,
celebrities whose birthday it was.
And then this one guy, Matt Bearden,
I'm not going to name names,
down in Austin, Texas,
where I'll be next Saturday,
he would just look up celebrity birthdays that day
and come in
so as soon as I got caught on to him doing that
I stopped doing it
that's an unfun energy
he's a great guy
but he figured out a way to
anyway
thank you so much for being here
and let's also
say hello to with a K
Mark Forward
thanks let's also say hello to with a K Mark Forward Thanks
I kind of like that
there's two Marks this time because then
when I read Reddit and hear how much Mark
sucked on the show
I won't know if it's me
Was Reddit really mean to you?
Oh yeah they hate me.
They apparently thought I was intoxicated on the show.
Nope, that's just you.
That's just me.
So I got really drunk this time.
So hopefully I'll come across sober.
You might as well.
And I'm sticking with the hoodie, no matter how fucking hot it is in here.
Yeah. Well, thank God
you have shorts on.
At least your knees are nice and cool.
Thanks.
Oh, you have
temperature-wise. No, you have very
cool knees.
I thought you were impressed by my knees for a second.
Yeah, you got some sick knees on you, man.
Real beauties.
They're all right.
Developing a bit of psoriasis, but we'll get over it.
Okay.
So, Mark has offered up the...
Yeah, just take them off.
There we go.
The two...
And I love it cuz you
know anyone would be frustrated if they only had a VCR or a blu-ray machine and
this way they have both so that no matter what they've got one to watch why
would you use a VCR one to throw at people desk listen mark if that's the
kind of backtalk that I'm gonna be getting the entire time yeah V that I'm going to be getting the entire time.
Yeah, VCR.
I'm glad someone's emerging as kind of the villain early on.
Oh, sure.
Blame the Jew.
Okay, I didn't know.
See, I was going to say, let's not make it about race,
and he went right for it.
So it's good to have a de facto
Jacob Searoff on the show.
Okay. So it's good to have a de facto Jacob Searoff on the show Yeah Okay As a black man I'm offended
I just assume most of your listeners
Don't know me
That's gonna be the first entry on Reddit
He was black and drunk
Kayla what do you have for the old Prize bag today on Reddit. He was black and drunk.
Kayla, what do you have for the old prize bag today? Oh my goodness, guys. I'm excited.
These are things from my house.
Didn't have to go anywhere.
Okay, the first thing up is
I love this.
We got the screenplay for my dinner
with Andre.
So if you and your friends want to...
In book form. Yeah. So if you and your friends
want to put on a stage show
or something.
Yeah.
Or if you just want to sit down
on a nice afternoon
and read a conversation.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's dense.
And yeah,
it really jumps off the page.
So yeah.
Oh, wow.
It's even got stage directions.
The waiter brings the wine.
Yeah.
Yeah. I'm even got stage directions. The waiter brings the wine. Yeah. Yeah.
I'm sure that happens again.
I haven't seen this movie in so long.
Do they get drunk during it?
No, I feel like they do.
I mean, it gets weird, but I don't feel like they get drunk.
Yeah, I guess Wallace Shawn getting drunk is kind of inconceivable.
Lovely.
Mm-hmm.
And what else have you got?
Okay, the other thing I got is,
oh, one year for Halloween,
I thought I wanted to go as Neil Young,
so I made a pono.
That's a cardboard pono.
Oh.
Yeah, that's his music listening device.
Apparently, it's as good as vinyl.
So that's fun for you guys.
And the last thing I have is a very threatening pin I received at an improv festival
that says, ask me about improv, but only if you've got a few hours.
No, thank you.
Yeah, I mean, what kind of answer...
Take that long, I don't want it.
Take a few hours. like if somebody said to me
what's improv I'd go don't worry about it
yeah exactly
exactly should be quick
if you don't know there's no reason to get into it
I have a copy of one of my albums
Smug Life
a t-shirt that says Bushmills
on it the Irish whiskey
oh this is interesting a female condom A t-shirt that says Bushmills on it, the Irish whiskey.
Oh, this is interesting.
A female condom?
Yeah, I think it's just like a bag.
Would you care to explain how you got that, though?
So you've got to plan ahead with that, right?
Like, she's got to grow a dick?
Yeah.
Like, we're going to have sex in six months because I'm going to grow a dick.
I got a Doug Loves Movies t-shirt, a Doug Loves Movies sticker.
A pipe from Peacemaker that I thought was small enough that customs wouldn't have any issues with it.
I was right. And what do you have, Mark?
Oh, what do I have?
Yeah.
So far down there.
I got some
mousse droppings chocolate
and
tiny little maple syrups
because
I like to destroy the planet
every time I have pancakes.
And some silly potty.
And a pack of Always 8 Ultra Thin.
So...
And a loonie that you can buy my comedy special on Vimeo
for 99 cents.
Thank you.
on Vimeo for 99 cents.
Thank you.
Under a dollar.
So you can keep the penny.
I mean, I don't mean to trump your spectacular loony,
but all the way from California,
I've got a coin that says Westworld on it.
But it does look Canadian,
so you might be able to spend it.
Absolutely.
You might be able to trick somebody.
My special actually accepts those as well.
Mark's doing great.
Old Chuck E. Cheese coins.
We'll take anything.
It's hot.
All of that's in the prize bag,
and somebody's going to win it in a little while.
But first, I know I'm so abusive with it.
I hope I didn't break the pono.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no, a broken pono.
You know what question I'm going to ask everybody, right, Mark with a C?
Yeah.
That's Mark with a K.
The hijinks.
Oh, no.
Can I just call you Hat?
Will that be easier?
Sure.
Okay, Hat.
Oh, I was going to wear a hat today. I think that's easier? Sure. Okay, Hat. Aw, I was gonna wear a hat today.
I think that's a pretty cool
sounding name, Hat.
Ah, get off me!
Wait, was that anti-Semitic
what you just did?
Black man wanna go wear a hat?
Oh, no, I just feel like,
I just feel like, I just feel like,
don't do that again.
You get one,
and then let's move on from it.
Yeah.
Listen, hat.
Everybody here is dying to know,
what was the last movie you saw?
It was in this very theater.
It was Showgirls on 35mm.
Oh.
You know what?
On 35mm, say that after you mention a good movie.
There's no reason to point
out what format it was in when you're watching
garbage. It was my first
time seeing it. When was the last time
that you saw it? It's been a minute.
Are you going to try to tell me it's good or some shit?
It's not shit.
What do you mean it's not shit?
Which chair were you sitting in?
That one right there?
Yeah.
No, I meant when you saw it.
Oh, sixth row, that in the center.
Oh, my God.
How, um...
That's too close to Elizabeth Berkley's performance.
She acts in that movie from the very first scene,
like Christian Bale when he got mad on the set of that Terminator movie.
She is just at, like, 11, angry-wise, from jump.
Oh, but her camp performance is what makes the film,
at least in the first 20 minutes.
It's great, yeah.
It made the film, and it ruined her life, really, kind of, after that.
And yet Calvin Coughlin still gets work.
You know, that jacuzzi wasn't even turned on.
All of those bubbles were just from their frenetic sex-making.
Sex-making.
Love the sex-making.
Yeah.
Great.
All right, well, you know, I'll give you that it's fun to watch, I guess.
No, it's not.
What are we doing?
It's art, Mark.
It's art.
Why are we just giving in to this fucking guy?
No, it's a piece of shit.
Why?
Why is it a piece of shit?
It's a...
Oh, my God, dude.
You don't like when they...
Like when she beats the shit out of that guy that looks like that other pop singer?
Yeah.
No, I hated all of it.
The point of that movie is to arouse me
and get me where it's at, right?
Is it?
I don't think it is.
Please.
I think Starship Troopers is sexier than Showgirls.
That's my point.
I think it's nice to imagine women eating dog food.
And, you know, it's such a lovely thing.
When she was thrashing around in that hot tub,
like his penis was 14 feet long.
No, that was just the pole with the net on the end of it
that they used to clean.
Yeah.
Get all the leaves out.
Of her, not the jacuzzi.
She was fucking the skimmer.
You know what?
I'm going to lose 10 pounds during this show,
so it's a win-win.
You guys think it's hot out there.
Also, isn't it fun how there's a lady in a red top over there?
Doesn't it look like she has her own special light?
Yeah.
Like she's just an angel from heaven
came to watch a show.
And then the very same thing on the opposite side.
Hi, lady. So nice. She's got a similar top but in a different color. Beautiful, yeah. heaven came to watch a show and then the very same thing on the opposite side hi lady so nice
she's got a similar top but in a different color beautiful yeah um okay so what was the last
great movie let me fix the question now what was the last movie you saw mark with a k uh me
uh i think it was Star Wars. I know.
You finally got around to it?
Yeah, I finally got around to it, and I saw it.
It's pretty good.
I got some good characters.
You mean Solo, a Star Wars story?
No, I haven't seen that one yet.
That'll be...
Are you talking New Hope, or what is this?
Six to eight months for that one.
I like to take my time with film.
Where did you watch the first Star Wars
you're talking
New Hope
the very first Star Wars
no no
God no
I saw that one
so you just called
them all Star Wars
yeah they're all Star Wars
good luck in the games today
they're all Star Wars
actually every movie I see I call Star Wars. Actually, every movie I see, I call Star Wars.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Citizen Kane was the best Star Wars I ever saw.
What did you think of the scenes in Star Wars
where they had to be really quiet,
otherwise a monster would come out of nowhere
and attack them?
It was great.
Okay.
And Kayla, what was the last motion picture you saw?
In any format.
Oh, well, I'll be honest.
Just the most recent.
Yeah, the most recent was The Square.
Oh.
Which is so good.
Aren't you cultured along with this one dude in the second row?
Really going to rely on you for support tonight.
From the same filmmaker, same guy that made Force Majeure.
Yeah.
Which was huge and I never saw it. I lied about made Force Majeure, which was huge and I never saw it.
I lied about seeing Force Majeure so many times.
Because cool people have seen it.
I know and I know what the thing is about it.
So I was like, yeah, so great.
But not seen it.
I heard Force Majeure is like The Office if it took place during an avalanche.
Yeah, that's what I've been saying.
Just awkward avalanche comedy.
What words are you guys saying?
Star Wars.
What?
Force Majeure.
Force Majeure.
Why do you look like you're going to pounce at me?
I know.
It's very good.
It's very aggressive.
Such a weird way to sit.
I'm trying to get comfortable.
Okay, well, I'm going to make it worse.
Okay.
Oh, but what about the, what was it called?
What was that movie you saw?
The Square?
The Square.
Yeah.
Yeah, was The Square good?
Yeah, The Square is so good.
I heard it's super long, though.
But it goes by, I think.
I think it clips long.
It's really good.
It's really funny.
I loved it.
Not fun for us to laugh at.
It was nominated for Best Foreign Film at the Oscars.
Yeah, you got your Elizabeth Moss in there.
Dominic West.
Love to see that face continue to crinkle.
It's great.
It's about modern art, but it's very funny. This isn't fun, continue to crinkle. It's great. It's about modern art,
but it's very funny. This isn't fun, guys.
See it. It's nice.
It's a good movie. I'm going to see
Force Majeure and The Square, probably
in a double bill, while I am
sleeping.
Just turn them on
and go to bed.
Well, thanks
for answering that question, you guys.
And now it's time to move forward in the show.
Turn it off, Bert,
because I'm about to say,
let the games begin!
Oh, my God.
The name tags are up.
So please, each and every one of you,
go select a name tag you wish to play for.
Mark with a C, are you here with somebody?
No.
Okay, good.
So you won't cheat and pick their name tag.
Oh, and you got a drink waiting for you down here
if you take that guy's name tag.
He's just trying to bribe me.
Yeah, it's a t-shirt.
But go ahead and go...
Can we walk around?
Yeah, go pick the name tag you want to play for,
and while you do that, we'll do this.
We'll be right back after these words.
Why am I stupid?
Hey, no sponsors this ep,
so I'm going to go ahead and read off some more road dates,
and you can go ahead and fast forward
if you don't want to come see me live
on june 24th i'll be at the rio theater in vancouver british columbia canada doing a doug
loves movies taping with three special guests followed by a benson movie interruption of
twilight part five i know that's not the correct title june 30th, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania at the Rex Theater,
Doug Lowe's Movies at 420.
Columbus, Ohio, the Funny Bone, Doug Lowe's Movies at 420.
Cincinnati, we're doing a double.
We're doing Stand Up at 420.
Bring your name tags because you could win a spot
in the Doug Lowe's Movies taping that same night at eight o'clock at go bananas
in cincinnati ohio ann arbor michigan i'm doing my annual dabs day show in ann arbor this year
at the aa comedy showcase and i'm also doing another dougves Movies during Comic-Con on July 18th.
That's in San Diego at the American Comedy Company, home of Eddie the Eagle.
And I'm doing stand-up.
It's been a while.
Reno, Nevada on July 22nd at Pioneer Center.
And as you know, there's lots more dates, and they're all at douglasmovies.com.
Back to the show.
All right, we're back.
Name tags have been chosen.
Everyone was nice and relatively quiet during the process.
I appreciate that.
So nice.
I hated it.
I hated it. Yeah.
I hated it too.
That is awful.
People get really frustrated
that they have to just pick one.
I got told I was a stupid idiot.
That's why you usually just pick one
that's got something you like attached to it.
Yeah, I just gave up.
Did anyone call you a stupid idiot?
Because I got called a stupid idiot.
Someone said that?
Yeah.
Because you wouldn't pick their name tag?
I think this woman's being nice, Mark. Called a stupid idiot. Someone said that? Yeah. Because you wouldn't pick their name tag? Stupid idiot.
I think this woman's being nice, Mark.
Yeah, you're wearing a shirt.
That's not, these people did work.
They also got dressed.
And found time to make stuff.
Who's the stupid idiot now?
Yeah.
You did drive a long way, though.
I appreciate that.
Yeah, I could see a long way, though. I appreciate that.
Yeah, I could see from your mime training.
Here's a donut.
Mark the Hat, who are you playing for?
I've got Made in Manhattan,
and the guy attached a mop to the thing.
Were you in the market for a mop to the thing.
Were you in the market for a mop? No, but it was enticing.
Just before you announced like, go pick your name tags,
I immediately saw that, because you can't miss a mop.
And I've never had this much power before.
So I had to go around the stage and make sure,
oh, thank you.
I've never had this much power before,
so I had to go around the theater to make sure.
Mark knows his way around a microphone, Mark.
This is being recorded for other people.
I've never had this much power before.
Now it's too close.
Okay.
And stop saying powerful.
Your P's are popping.
So Dan is who you're playing for?
Correct.
Great job.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Wait, hold on.
Do I got to keep the mop afterwards or do you need it?
Don't keep it.
Wow, you just got a mop.
Cool.
Keep doing shows like this, you won't have to go back to work.
Or you can get a new job and show up ready.
Need any janitors?
I've got a mop.
That's a short mop.
Yeah, and I'm not comfortable with you just holding that the whole time,
so just lay it down.
Lay down your weapon, please.
Oh, it sounds like a really cheap mop.
Who's sick of their mops being tall?
He got it at the dollar store on sale.
Who are you playing for, Mark Forward?
Who's mopping?
I'm like, this mop is too tall.
Quinn, I'm playing for Quinn, but I kind of cheated because I've signed this.
You've already picked this name tag or just signed it?
I think I just signed it, and you've signed it as well.
Oh, okay.
So he's been to a show that we were both on.
And he gave me donuts, so.
Okay.
Yeah.
All right.
Cheers.
And what do you got, Kayla?
Well, wow, look at this.
Oh, looks like a lot of melted candies.
Yeah, so some deformed candies.
I mean, is it caddy?
Yeah.
Okay, good.
Then it's really working.
Caddy Shack.
Yeah, look at that.
Look here on it, too.
Little Jeff Tate there as the gopher.
Isn't that nice?
Perfect casting.
It also came with
some Sour Patch Kids cherry blasters.
So, you know.
Yeah, I'm really
excited, Caddy. I'm sorry
it's not going to go well for you, but great sign.
Thank you so much. I'm also
confused by the amount of flamingo lights.
I love it.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Very good. Cheers. Ha. Ha. Very good.
Completely stupid answer.
That golf course.
I know.
That golf course is in Florida?
I never knew that.
Yeah, they shot it.
Do they mention Florida in the movie?
No.
I don't think they do.
They shot it in Florida.
Oh, okay.
That's great, Kenny.
You nailed it.
But I don't think it was actually.
I think it was supposed to be in the Midwest somewhere.
Correct.
Okay.
But they only had a short time to shoot it.
I feel hotter.
Hurricane season was coming as well.
Yeah.
Okay.
I know a lot about Caddyshack.
Because I just watched Star Wars.
That's the documentary.
Let me look ahead real quick.
Let me just make sure.
Yeah, Caddyshack's not going to come up for the rest of the documentary. Let me look ahead real quick. Let me just make sure. Yeah, Caddyshack's not going to come up
for the rest of the show.
What is going to come up?
Just don't watch Caddyshack 2.
Mark, hot take.
Watch Showgirls.
Don't watch Caddyshack 2.
Really?
I got to say,
Showgirls is funnier than Caddyshack 2.
For sure.
You had one movie for the rest of your life
and you could pick one of those?
You'd watch Showgirls?
Yeah, if it was just one movie, I'd do the same, yeah.
Over Caddyshack 2?
I would dispose of both of them.
Good sir, I will break your rules, genie.
All right, this first game we're going to play is a brand new game that I just thought of.
And I know you guys wanted to hear some of your favorites, which you will shortly, I think.
But this game, I'm excited about it.
Because it's called last movie I saw none of you know I did not discuss
it backstage you don't know what the last movie I saw was you don't know if I watched it in my
hotel room or went to a cinema like Scotiabank or some shit like that, which is very confusing because the other day I tried to watch a movie
in a bank.
All right,
so here's how this is going to work.
Each of you gets one guess
of all the movies
that have ever been made.
We'll start with Kayla.
Oh, great.
Name any movie that you think might be the last movie I saw.
Okay, let's look into your eyes.
There's a darkness there.
Oh, no.
Blocked.
He put sunglasses on.
Such a visual show.
I love.
Okay, I'm going to go with the last movie you saw was...
I strangely feel a little cooler now.
In more ways than one.
Cool branded sunglasses.
Oh yeah, they say Tito's on them.
Okay.
Ooh, let's go with...
Ooh, let's go with with it was in a hotel
and location works too.
I get an extra point. In a hotel
and let's go with
alien.
Okay.
Hard to think that that's
good or bad, really.
That's something I would definitely do.
And every time I still go,
why do they keep looking for the cat Mark Forward
what do you think the last movie I saw was
okay but did you watch
something before you came here to make it
more difficult
why would that make it more difficult
like if you put on some French foreign film
do you know what I mean
do I go out of my way to watch something it'd be hard to guess That'd make it more difficult. Like if you put on some French foreign film. Do you know what I mean?
Oh, do I go out of my way to watch something?
It'd be hard to guess?
Yeah.
No.
Okay, cool, cool, cool, cool.
Solo.
Solo.
Full title?
Solo.
A Star Wars story. Now before
Mark with a hat guesses
If none of you guess correctly
Then I'm going to start
Reading clues
To the movie I saw
And it's open to all three of you to guess
As often as possible until somebody gets it right
No audience guesses please
But let's see if Mark can just end it right now.
I thought it was hours and hours
of us just guessing every film ever made.
That's good to clarify that.
The clues should be helpful,
at least the later clues.
The way you just spelled that up,
it just seems like you're setting me up for failure.
No, you could get it right.
You might say the movie that I happened to watch today
without telling anybody that I saw it.
You might figure it out somehow.
Is there Netflix in your hotel room?
Oh, we get to ask questions?
No, you don't.
That's a bit unfair, Doug, because I asked a question and it was allowed.
What was your question?
My question was, did you watch a film on purpose?
That is true.
And now you're shooting down this guy.
All right.
It's a new game.
I'll answer his question.
Netflix is anywhere I go.
It's on my phone.
Yeah, you idiot.
Now you've taken questions out of the gate.
Sink.
I'm going to go with
Ruth Bader Ginsburg, the documentary,
and you saw it at the TIFF Bell Lightbox.
Okay, you don't have to be that specific.
But I do like that facility.
I walk by, though, and the marquee, I read everything on it and go,
don't know what any of that means.
This place is showing some really cool shit.
Okay, so I'm happy to say, so that this game can continue,
none of you got it right.
Okay.
So now, just open to guesses as soon as you think you know it.
And you can, you know, guess as often as you like, as long as you're on stage and you have a microphone.
First of all, this first clue I wrote to try to trick somebody into saying solo because I saw this movie alone.
That narrows it down.
It was the second time that I have seen it.
Okay.
Jaws.
It's not a terrible guess.
I've seen that more than once.
And I have Netflix in my hotel room.
I'm going to kick myself if it's Star Wars.
The answer will not just be those two words.
Matt Damon is in this movie.
Good Will Hunting.
Batman.
Ah, no, his brother's in it.
I'm America World Police. I got it mixed up.
It's his brother that's in Batman.
There is a person.
This movie has a reference
to Taylor Swift's Cats,
Olivia and Meredith.
Oh, boy.
And it's on a shirt.
The accountant.
Deadpool 2.
That is the correct answer.
Deadpool 2.
Deadpool 2.
Now, I will admit, I did see Deadpool 2 as an advanced screening,
but I fell asleep after the first third and woke up for the mid-credits scene.
Oh.
Oh, no.
Whoa.
No, it's fun.
No, you guys, it's fun when we create a negative narrative, not for you to do it.
Wow.
We make fun. nice quiet you just
turned into red or they're still guessing
what the last movie I saw was
because they said get out
um
but I just want to address this lady here in the second
seat over from the end you've been commenting
out loud about everything and
I really need it to stop
have you heard Doug
Loves movies? You have. I don't think you have because I think you'd notice that
the audience doesn't say stuff continuously, just occasionally. When
asked, okay, are you drunk okay
because I was trying to give you an excuse
I'm wasted
so drunk
he's wasted
but please see they're talking right now
see do you understand that
it's no talking or do it elsewhere
okay I'll give you that one
because it did feel like you were answering
what I just said.
Deadpool 2 is the answer!
So hang on, I haven't seen it.
Is Batman in that movie?
Did you just wreck it for everyone?
It's funny that you should say that
because there is a reference to Batman.
A very funny one.
More than one, I think, but at least one.
And since you slept through it, I'll just tell you at one point,
Wade Wilson is wearing a T-shirt and it says Olivia and Meredith on it
and has pictures of cats.
And it was this second time when I thought to myself,
those are Taylor Swift's
fucking cats because they're named after Olivia Benson and Meredith Gray from television.
Oh, yeah. I know way too much about Taylor Swift. Uh, my other clues are going to be,
uh, oh, and Matt Damon, uh, you know, spoiler appears briefly in it. And then, uh, the final
clue was going to be, uh, the guy who plays Thanos is in it.
I was hoping that would tip it.
Those were the three clues?
Yeah.
There was not a clue after that clue?
You probably wouldn't have done well with all the clues.
Yeah, thank God Mark's here.
Thank God this weirdo is here, man.
It's nice.
It's actually quite nice.
Let's play ABCD's Nuts!
This is a spelling game, sort of.
I'm going to give you a letter,
and you have to name any movie that begins with that letter.
But I always try to cook up a theme for this thing.
Today we're going to spell... The filmmaker filmmaker many knows Quentin Tarantino we're gonna spell his last
name Tarantino you know why I thought of this for today because his last name
should be Toronto in my opinion yes Yes. Quentin Toronto. That would be even cooler.
Cool name.
Not to confuse anybody, his name is spelled differently than Toronto.
And so the first letter is going to go to Mike.
Sorry, Mark with a C.
And then we'll go to Mike with a K.
Mike, yeah.
Yeah, see what I did? It's hard.
And then Kayla, also with a K. Mike, yeah. Yeah, see what I did? It's hard. And then Kayla,
also with a K.
Yeah.
But we'll start with you,
Marks with a C and a hat.
Name any movie
that begins with the letter T.
The Avengers from 1998.
The one with Uma Thurman?
Yes.
Why did you complicate the so difficult?
You know what I mean?
Like, how are you getting through life doing this?
You took the and there's shit all over it.
You know what I mean?
Well, look at me.
I got other words that don't need to be there.
The thing.
Done.
Get over it.
The thing from which year?
I just realized the pono was safe.
It's sitting on the table.
It wasn't even in the bag when I threw it on there
The movie I chose to go with for the is called the rock
Or for tea rather a is your letter
Mark forward name any movie begins with a letter. Your first clue for the theme is The Rock.
Uh-oh.
It's like a lot of people would be like...
Not so easy, right?
No, I took a minute because that was a clue.
A Bug's Life.
Okay.
I went with a sports documentary called Amateur.
Clever.
We'll see about that.
We'll see how clever it is.
R is the next letter for Kayla.
Okay, let's go with a nice sturdy rampage.
Oh, okay.
Ooh, soft claps.
Thank you, I'll take it.
Thank you. I'll take it. Thank you.
I went with a movie called Reservoir Dogs.
Oh, the theme.
Fuck, yeah.
That'd be cool.
Fuck.
Yeah.
I fucked up.
Mark with a C and a hat.
Angle Unchained.
What?
Of course, the letter is A.
But the D is silent, right?
Right, but the J is not.
I'm trying to pick up on the theme here.
No, you're not.
Is that your final answer?
No, I'll go with aliens.
Okay.
I went with a movie called...
I don't know why somebody in the audience was so disturbed by that answer.
Well, because he was going with the theme.
At least he's still in the game.
Django Unchained and aliens.
So that's his train of thought.
Do you know what I mean?
How are those two movies the same?
They both have...
Don't.
Oh, okay.
For A, I went with a movie called American Federale,
another documentary.
So we're back to the letter,
we're at the letter n now n for mark forward
n n night shift oh love that movie classic
uh i decided to go with i don't strange choice on my part, but natural born killers.
Oh, cool.
Yeah, T is the next letter, Kayla.
I got that vibe.
Okay, let's, I don't know, tornado?
Is there a movie called Tornado? Do you mean Twister?
Oh, shit.
Tornado Twister, same thing.
Yeah, wow.
Or do you mean the hurricane?
No, I meant Twister.
And I said what it is.
I regret it.
I guess I'm out.
Sorry, Candy.
Oh, don't say you're out.
Just say that you failed.
I failed.
And I accept it, and it's nice.
You're doing great.
It's so hot in here.
So what's your tea answer?
Yeah.
Did you switch it to Twister?
Yeah, actually, I did say Twister.
Okay, good.
I went with True Romance.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I, for you, Mark, with a hat,
time to take this whole thing down.
Time to take this whole thing down.
I feel like that's a clue.
It's not.
It's not. It was me just feeling confident that you figured out what's a clue. It's not. It's not.
It was me just feeling confident
that you figured out what's going on.
He's trying to move it along.
People in the audience know what it is.
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
Uh-oh.
You'd be the worst detective.
I'm blanking.
It's an I, and I know it.
I feel the theme.
I'm just blanking on it.
It.
From which year?
Oh, God.
Hey, this isn't really a spoiler, I don't think.
The guy who plays Pennywise in the It movie
is in Deadpool 2.
Yeah.
I'm always excited when I figure shit like that out
because who should know what that guy looks like?
He's covered in clown makeup the whole time
is he a SARS guard?
SCARS or SARS
did he bring the wine?
huge callback
huge callback
I feel like I've got it now
okay
inglorious Bastard.
That is correct!
Yay!
Ha ha.
I just feel I didn't even know what the puzzle pieces were making,
and he was out looking for more puzzle pieces.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
He makes his harder on himself.
There should be 14 horses, not one.
Let me break it down for you.
The Rock was script doctored by Quentin Tarantino.
Amateur is a sports documentary where for some reason they thank him in the end credits.
We all know Reservoir Dogs, of course.
American Federali is another documentary where he gets a thank you.
Natural Born Killers, True Romance, and Glorious Bastards.
For the next end, I went with Natural Born Killers again.
And then for O, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, his next movie.
Congratulations, Mark, with a hat.
You did it.
Yay, Mark!
That's so childish.
Just go ahead.
They're going for it, yeah. They're going for it, yeah.
For the listener at home,
Mark Forward has just
rejected my high five twice.
No, for the listener at home,
I'm going to do the DVD.
I can't just let the moment go.
I need to control it
and understand it
and regurgitate it.
This chemistry is so sweet.
I'm loving it.
I'm loving it.
Oh, I'd fuck him hard if I could.
Oh, shit.
I was telling that guy to turn off his phone
and stop recording the show.
In my pocket just now,
I took 123 photos.
Did it change?
And it didn't drain
the battery that much, strangely.
Could you imagine looking at them all and then there was like a little guy in there?
Just on one of them.
There was a little guy in your pocket.
I got some really good shots of my Vizine.
Oh, good.
Sponsorship Oh, good. Which I probably
shouldn't.
Yeah, sponsorship
pending, really.
I shouldn't keep that
in the same pocket
with my phone,
probably, but I do.
All right, you guys.
Hoo-wee.
Yeah.
This is...
Yeah, I'm unwell.
It's very,
it's very hot.
I feel like we're
in a church
in Southern America.
Everybody's fanning themselves. fan's so many people just fanning themselves.
Ah, dear Lord.
I always forget, like, you know, from the past,
shows where I felt incredibly hot, you know, warm on stage.
I just sort of, you know, walk away from it after it's over.
But this one might stick in my head.
I'm going to auction off my T-shirt. I'm going to auction off my t-shirt.
I'm going to auction it off.
If anybody wants to buy my t-shirt,
I'm going to stick it in a freezer after.
We'll contain all my lard.
Let's put it in the prize bag.
Wow.
Yeah.
Who wants to win Mark's lard?
Yeah, let's get that bag wet.
A bag of lard.
I could give you a couple bags of lard, if we're being honest.
Oh, God.
I've got to take care of myself.
Yeah.
This was a nice kind of emotional check-in.
Maybe let's carry on.
Hey, you know what?
Everyone in the audience knows what we look like,
and they've heard the podcast, obviously.
Can we turn the lights on the stage down a little bit?
Is that possible?
That might make it cooler in here for everybody.
Let's just turn them off.
In fact, yeah, when a movie's playing,
you don't have all these lights on, right?
So let's try that if we can. Oh, yeah, when a movie's playing, you don't have all these lights on, right?
So let's try that if we can.
Oh, someone is running up the stairs right now in this heat.
I don't think so.
I don't think anybody.
Oh.
Oh, what?
Oh.
Oh, right back again. Were those our options?
Off, lower, or back to where they were.
I swear there was a good one in there.
Just not this one.
Try again.
Please.
Okay, that's off.
Can you still see us?
Oh, there.
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
I feel like the bald guy in Logan.
Oh, wait.
There's two bald guys in Logan.
Got to be more specific.
So that's it.
We can't.
Those are the options.
It's just off for a bit.
Off or this.
I'm still wearing a black hoodie.
Because I swear, the off works for me better than this.
The off was nice.
Felt intimate.
Turn them off. Shut them down.
Let's try that.
I'll use my flashlight on my phone.
Turn them down.
Unless it's really hard for you and you're really stressed out
that we keep asking for this.
Can you imagine if it's really painful to touch and you're really stressed out that we keep asking for this. Is there?
Can you imagine if it's really painful to touch the switch? Well, I don't know.
Quit asking!
Quit asking!
You don't know people's
hands. Can we go
all off? Can we do it?
Can we just turn them off?
Yay!
Wait, wait, wait.
There we go.
Thanks, you guys.
I got a little flashlight for the questions.
This is going to be great.
I don't need that flashlight from the audience, but thank you.
So refreshing now.
I'm going to breeze out the back of my knees here.
That's good.
That's very good. Oh, man. That's good. That's very good.
Oh, man.
This is relaxing.
This is intimate as hell.
So those last three minutes are going to be cut, right?
Nah, nah, nah.
You got to leave that stuff in because the listeners
have a lot of time to kill.
If you have a long commute,
it's fun to listen to people
complaining about how hot they are.
Can I bring up something scientific?
Like if you're fanning yourself right now,
you're actually...
Oh, no.
Exerting more energy.
Yeah, yeah.
Not this bullshit.
I know you're exerting more energy,
but it still feels nice.
No, you're just...
Oh, it's bad.
What's happening?
Ah, come on!
What the hell?
And now there's a guy just giving you a fan.
We just said it exerts more energy,
and that's his solution.
Now you're playing for him.
And then why did the lights come back on?
Because everybody clapped?
Oh, God.
One's on.
Oh, don't like that.
No.
Did we just go to a race?
Just off.
Just go.
Just do the off switch.
Now they're all turning away.
Now they're turning away from us.
Oh, so cute.
So actually, the molecules are being stirred when you fan.
And it's just making it hotter for the other people that aren't doing it.
Okay. Anyway.
Big up to the staff here.
Thank you, guys.
I know it's hard.
Here we go.
We're going to play a game called Bennington Brady.
In this game.
I get it.
Save your energy.
You know, clapping exerts more energy than it cools you.
Yeah.
Stop responding.
Yeah, you guys, just sit in quiet silence.
Just try to keep...
Conserve.
Real sleep mode vibe out there.
Sleep mode.
All right, so here we go.
This game is a game where I'm going to name an actor or actress,
and the three of you each get one chance at telling me
what movie you think they made is in the top three movies of all time,
in their top three, I should should say after adjusting for inflation that's why
it's called Brady because of the adjusting for inflation part it's called
Bennington because it was named after Ron Bennington who I will be visiting in
his studio at Sirius XM in a few weeks Great. The first name, and we'll switch the order around.
So Hat Mark gets to go first, and then Kayla, and then Mark forward.
And you each get one guess on the films of Keanu Reeves.
Jesus.
I'll go with the first Matrix
What's that called?
The Matrix
There's another
The movie you could have done
Kayla
Oh god
Let's go you you know what?
Mark with a C.
I'm going to go with Matrix Reloaded.
Sneaky.
Thanks, guys.
Wow.
What do you think there, Mark F?
And we're adjusting for inflation.
Sure we are.
I'm going to go Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.
Okay.
Answers are locked in.
Coming in at number three,
this little motion picture he made called Speed.
The bus.
Number two,
worth two points, The Matrix.
Ah, the bus.
And then number one, worth three points, is The Matrix Reloaded.
Oh, yes. Oh, yes.
Oh, yes.
Two buses.
Okay, so we shift over each round.
Hat Mark will get to go first if we make it to a tiebreaker.
But we start with Kayla, and we're going to do the films. I'm just going to say it. There's no reason
to keep the theme a secret. These are
great Canadian actors.
And of course,
when you're playing that game these days,
you have to say
Ryan Reynolds.
Shit. Oh my god.
There's two or three great
Canada jokes in Deadpool 2.
So what do you think, Kayla?
Wow, I mean, hmm.
Please don't say Deadpool.
I mean, Mark, I know.
Please don't say Deadpool.
I know, I know, I know, I know.
Please don't say Deadpool 2.
Okay, Well,
I guess then.
Ryan Reynolds,
is there anything else really?
What a guy.
You know he cheated on Alanis Morissette?
You ought to know.
Motherfucker.
Motherfucker. Motherfucker.
It's so funny.
Comedy from the shadows.
Okay, I don't know.
Let's just... Mark, you can have it.
Let's just go with Deadpool, I guess.
I gotta see it.
You're saying Deadpool?
I'm gonna go with Deadpool.
Yeah, just original Deadpool.
She's saying Deadpool.
Mark Ford, what do you think?
I got one
hand in my pocket
and another one's
jerking off
Ryan Reynolds.
Huh?
Um. Deadpool 2
Thank you
Mark C. Mark
It's hard to think of what he was before Deadpool
I felt the same way
I remember 1973.
There was a cool breeze coming in the cottage window.
Go get him, Reddit.
I'm going to go with The Proposal.
Oh, fun choice.
All right.
Answers are locked in.
Coming in at number four,
because it's made a lot of money already,
but it's only at number four so far,
Deadpool 2.
Thank you.
Number three.
Do you adjust for for time being out?
No
Seems like you would have done that
It's only existed
For a week right?
Three days
Or no a week and three days I guess
Nine days?
Since the 18th.
Ten days.
May 17th.
No, yeah, no.
I'm just going to put an asterisk.
It's still raking it in.
It's going to get up there.
Okay, well, I'm going to put an asterisk.
Next time you do the podcast, you're really going to nail it.
Well, I just think it should be said up front that it's not adjusted for...
Ryan Reynolds number three is in big trouble.
Deadpool 2 is going to pass at any second now
because number three is a movie called The Croods.
Yeah, that's how bad Ryan Reynolds' career
has been up to Deadpool.
Wait, wait, wait.
So where would Green Lantern rank?
It was a little early for that question.
We're still in the round.
I'm just not going to... He's got two more movies.
Yeah.
Maybe it's number one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I saw Green Lantern in this very theater. There.
Number two, and this is sad.
X-Men Origins Wolverine.
Oh, wow. Yeah, the movie where Deadpool is silenced
for no good reason.
And then, of course, number one
is the original Deadpool.
So the only...
Only points scored on that one
was three more for Kayla.
Feels like an insurmountable lead,
but we'll see what happens
when Mark Forward gets to go first.
In fact, Mark,
if you name the number one movie
of this next person,
I will give you six points.
I hope it's Chewbacca.
They got, you know, in Solo,
they got a new young guy to play Chewbacca,
even though he's the same size and he's covered in fur.
They got a young guy,
because they don't want Chewbacca to walk around with a cane.
Aww.
Aww.
It's the only reason
I could think of.
I mean, maybe Peter Mayhew
was like,
I'm not getting in
that fucking thing again.
I'm done.
I'm done.
I'm not putting that rug on.
Aww, Chewie with a cane.
Cute.
Okay.
He's not out at a party. Like a Mr. Okay. He's not out at a party.
Like a Mr. Peanut.
Oh, God.
Throw a monocle on Chewy.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
That's a great idea.
Somebody Photoshop a top hat and a monocle on Chewy.
Oh, so cute.
Really promoting eating his own kind, you know.
Mark Forward.
Yeah.
The films of Rachel McAdams.
Great Canadian actress.
Oh, God.
You might as well just spoke Spanish to me I don't even know who that is
I'll try to help you out
She first came to worldwide attention
As Regina George in Mean Girls
Okay
Which is now on Broadway and I saw it and I loved it
What's your answer? Do you know who she is now?
Can I say Mean Girls?
I'm going to say Mean Girls
Okay What's your answer? Do you know who she is now? Can I say Mean Girls? I'm going to say Mean Girls. Okay.
Thank you for helping
the brother out.
Who's next?
I forget which order we were going in.
Kayla. Okay, let's go with The Notebook.
The Notebook. I forget which order we were going in. I don't know. Kayla? Okay, let's go with the notebook. Oh.
The notebook.
The notebook.
That's where people are dying and stuff and they're writing.
Alzheimer's, yeah.
Kissing, yeah.
Wait, you get Alzheimer's from kissing?
Oh, yeah, man.
I don't remember.
Cool guy promoting how much he
kisses.
I'll tell you where you get herpes from, though.
And pneumonia.
Fucking Alzheimer's
patients.
They don't remember where they've been.
See, you're not here for your trivia acumen.
Or even, I'm guessing, knowing what the word acumen means.
Rachel McAdams is hard for me.
Is that her name?
All right, Hat Mark.
Bring us home.
Doctor Strange.
Okay.
Okay, some applause.
The sequel to The Notebook.
He specializes in Alzheimer's.
Where's that book? Subtitle,
I could have sworn it was on the table.
Two.
Coming in at number one,
yeah, I'll jump around, I don't care,
because nobody guessed it,
Wedding Crashers.
Oh, yeah.
Very good.
Huge movie.
So good.
She was so good.
So huge, yeah.
At number two,
the prequel
to Sherlock Gnomes.
Sherlock Holmes.
With Robert Downey Jr.
She was the lady in that.
In a hat or something.
That was a big one, too.
And then number three.
So at least Mark with a C
got to halfway to Kayla's score
because Doctor Strange is number three on her list.
Well done.
So the final score is
Mark Forward is here with us today.
Mark Weingast got three points.
And Kayla Lorette, six points.
She is our winner.
She is our winner.
Where's that person who you were playing for?
Come get your prizes.
Get your bag.
Oh, God.
So nice that a woman can use this female condom and the pads.
Get the pono.
Get the pono.
Yeah, don't forget the pono.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
She's going to look sweet with a dick Just throwing in one more for Reddit
Right at the end there
Alright I'm definitely gonna do
Hashtag sweet dick
What was another phrase we said during the show today
that was well-received?
Oh, my gosh.
Acumen?
Shut up, Mark.
And I'll spell it both ways.
That's fair.
Mark Weingest, thank you for coming up here
and submitting yourself to all this abuse.
What do you got to plug, dude?
You got anything coming up?
Any plans to use that mop for anything?
You gonna go play some amateur Quidditch after the show?
I mean, I kind of want
to go back to school. No, I don't.
Two things I want to plug. I'm on a podcast
sometimes called Black Hole Films.
A director buddy of mine, Jeremy
Lalonde, brings on people
to talk about movies that they've never seen.
They watch it and then they talk about it afterwards.
And Peter Kablowski, who
programs Midnight Madness at TIFF,
is doing a campaign to
screen Speed Racer for its 10th anniversary
on IMAX.
They're going to get an IMAX print, show it at the
Cinesphere, and there's only a few
more days in the campaign and they're
halfway there. What needs to happen?
Speed Racer needs to become
good?
I know lots of people love Speed Racer needs to become good. Slay.
I know lots of people love Speed Racer.
They really committed to the style,
and I didn't care for it, but they went for it.
And if you're going to watch it,
might as well be an IMAX, right?
Same with my dinner with Andre.
Oh, it's so, oh, so nice.
So if I want to see a piece of shit, I should see it in high quality?
Is that what you're saying?
Just as big as possible, because it's very colorful,
so at least if you're on the right drugs, it could be a good time.
But seriously, how do they,
they're trying to raise money to make this happen?
Yeah, it's a fundraiser,
because they're also donating proceeds to LGBT filmmakers
in the community because they're trying
to pair this with Inside Out. It's a festival
that's going on right now. Nice.
Nice.
I was afraid
they weren't going to applaud.
They were thinking about
it. Because it's
mixed with Speed Racer, right? Like it's a good cause
with Speed Racer.
Do you know what I mean?
Mm-hmm.
It'd be like...
Forget it.
Hashtag shut up, Mark.
Yeah.
Now, what do you got to plug, dude?
Who, me?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, hi.
He's...
Okay.
So, I'm also working on bringing Speed Racer.
Where are you going to show it?
Yeah, I'm going to show it at a drive-in in Oakville on 9th line.
I'm raising money to...
They all know it because it's the only one.
I'm raising money to hack into NASCAR and just show it instead of NASCAR.
I'm raising money to hack into NASCAR and just show it instead of NASCAR
no I just
my special came out on Vimeo
that's where most big comedians put out their special
on Vimeo
and it's $1
it's 99 cents actually
sorry
keep the penny
did Louis C.K. do $1?
Louis C.K. did $1? Louis C.K. did $1?
Louis C.K. did $5.
Oh, what a fuck.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, I've never masturbated in front of anyone.
I mean, he's got to charge more than $5 for that, doesn't he?
Like, I caught myself in the mirror once and I stopped.
Yeah, so it's not Vimeo.
Then don't write me saying,
well, why do I have to sign up for Vimeo?
Just be a dollar, you dick.
Unsign the next day.
Anyway, unsubscribe to the emails.
Just fucking watch it.
It's good.
All right.
Exhausted.
And also,
49 cents will be given
to me.
Okay.
That's it. Is that it? Yeah, yeah. Okay. That's it.
Is that it?
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Thanks.
Oh, you just yelled the show I'm on.
Yeah.
Yeah.
How about that?
Good for him.
Kayla?
Lorette?
Yeah, I did a commercial for the Egg Farmers of Canada last year.
So, honestly,
check that out.
We've got to be eating more eggs.
It's nice to have a platform to talk about it.
Thank you so much.
Thank you to all three of my guests.
Let's hear it for them.
I need to collect up the losing name tags for this last little bit here.
Thank you to the Royal Cinema.
Oh, wait, which I don't need.
Who won?
You won.
Okay, I don't need that one.
You can give the flamingos back if you want.
It's so beautiful.
We forgot to give it to her when she was up here.
Thank you to the Royal Cinema
and to all you guys for coming out on a very warm day.
First warm weekend of the year, I bet, up here.
So that's quite a sacrifice you guys made,
and I appreciate it very much.
And, oh, I've got a plug.
I'm going to be doing stand-up at the Improv in Kansas City
on Tuesday, June 19th.
Bring your name tags.
We'll play a little Last Man's Stent at that show.
And thank you to Boanna and Charlene
and also the nice lady who, after I told her to stop talking
did exactly that.
Yeah.
And for the record, is not drunk.
She's not drunk.
What's that?
Sober? You're yelling out the word sober?
How many days for you?
That's an interesting heckle.
It's not one I like to hear because I don't ever perform not drunk.
And sober.
Sober.
Oh, wow.
He tried to make it cool.
Sober.
As always,
in case he wasn't mentioned,
Jerry D is a shithead.
Oh, wow. To be honest, that's why I picked that one.
Oh, amazing.
Oh.
People who fart in the toilet
but still flush because
they don't want to disappoint
the neighboring stalls
are a
shithead