Doug Loves Movies - "Mark Wahlberg," Graham Elwood and Geoff Tate

Episode Date: July 9, 2015

Live from The American Comedy Company in San Diego, Doug welcomes fan favorites "Mark Wahlberg," Graham Elwood and Geoff Tate to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy an...d California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds With 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies! There's a little bit of anger in that version of that one. Probably because you had to deal with all the traffic and shit.
Starting point is 00:00:58 Coming to you once again from the American Comedy Company, the favorite comedy club of bald eagles, in sweet home San Diego. San Diego! Have you guys seen Chronicon, most of which takes place in this club? A few of you have? Good, good. You can still check it out from now on.
Starting point is 00:01:27 No rush, I guess. It's Wednesday, July 8th, 2015. Comic-Con kicks off tomorrow. Let's see your name tag, Sandy D. Impress me. Stoner Wars. The Anthony Strikes Back. Part Deux. I like it.
Starting point is 00:01:45 It's good front row action. Ready, Player Juan? There's that umbrella full of candy that I saw outside on the street. And KellyCon, Episode 420 in New Dope, where my bong from the Chronicon poster is lighting up, and she's Princess Leia, and there's some donuts flying through the sky. It's pretty amazing.
Starting point is 00:02:13 The Skeleton Tims. Finally somebody had fun with that movie's title. Jeff, who lives at home in San Diego, and he's got an arrow. My wife! She's got a lot of candy on her. The great Casey? Yeah, the great
Starting point is 00:02:29 Casey instead of the great race. There's a nice picture of Natalie Wood and her titas. Anyway, there's lots of name tags. Thanks, you guys, so much for bringing those. We've got three discerning guests who will really work hard to pick out the best possible
Starting point is 00:02:47 name tags. Pittsburgh, this weekend, that's right, I'm leaving Comic-Con early to come to Pennsylvania, so you better show up, Pittsburghers. LA, Monday night, I'm doing my second annual goon screening at CineFamily.
Starting point is 00:03:04 Come out to that. It's going to be completely uninterrupted by me. It's just a great movie that I like to watch with an audience. DougLowesMovies.com for all your Doug Benson tour info. From the corrections department, Meg Ryan was not in the mean season.
Starting point is 00:03:22 Now it's time for tweet relief. Tweets about movies. Tired meme cat tweeted to me. Doug Benson, before renting Chronicon, I accidentally rented Morgan Spurlock's Comic-Con. Bet I'm not alone. I bet you're not, meme cat. This has been tweet
Starting point is 00:03:42 relief. Tweets about my new movie. Next free Doug Loves Movies at UCB is Los Angeles. In Los Angeles is this Tuesday, July 14th at 7 o'clock sharp. And I'm doing stand-up Wednesday, July 15th at the Punchline in San Francisco.
Starting point is 00:03:57 Let's look in the prize bag, you guys. It's a good one. The guests all brought stuff, too. This is just the stuff that I brought. I was walking over here and I got one of these foam finger things for Sharknado 3. Oh, hell no. And I guess it's like sort of like a, what's it supposed to be? Like a buzzsaw or something? All right. And you stick your hand up in there and you go like that. Gee, what's it supposed to be? Like a buzzsaw or something? Alright, and you stick your hand up in there and you go like that.
Starting point is 00:04:28 Gee, that's a lot of fun. Somebody's really going to be in luck. Like you can't just go get those out there. From my new friends at Mindful in Denver, this packet that's, this is how you're supposed to carry your weed in Colorado
Starting point is 00:04:43 to make it all legal and such. And then from the Tempe, Arizona show, I saved one mandle. I flew with a mandle. They're very, very heavy. My glass was jumping up and down like we were in Jurassic Park. Remember that first one a long time ago? I was just on At Midnight for the 18th time,
Starting point is 00:05:11 so I brought you some Bananagrams. And... Oh, this is fun. A friend of mine in Houston, Texas, makes these little things that you can put a roach in and then put it up to your mouth, and they're cute, but then you don't burn your mouth. And this one is a little minion.
Starting point is 00:05:29 And I don't think there are any one-legged minions. One of his legs just fell off in transit. Or I think when she handed it to me, I think it busted off in my hand because I'm a klutz. All of that, plus what my guests brought, you know, it's Comic Con so the guests are always great, but this year I think you guys are going to be pleased
Starting point is 00:05:49 because it's three favorites on the show. Please give a big warm welcome to Graham Elwood, Jeff Tate, and Mark Wahlberg! Thank you. Keep it going! Sorry, Mark. I have kind of a cough, so I might cough on you a little bit during the show tonight.
Starting point is 00:06:49 It's all right, dude. How you doing? It's been a while. Mark Wahlberg, everybody. How you guys doing? You doing good? Fucking hurt you are. I'm here.
Starting point is 00:07:08 What's going on, dog? Not much. I haven't seen Ted 2 yet. I apologize for that. What the fuck's wrong with you, dude? It's just you and the bear again, right? Fucking killing it is what we're fucking doing. Okay.
Starting point is 00:07:21 And I walked out on Entourage. You want to know why? You just couldn't handle how good it was? No. Once I got to your scene, I was like, the movie's peaked. You're in it too little. You're not in it enough. Yeah, but I fucking steal that shit, don't I? I think you should have played Vince from the start. I think it should have always been you as yourself, because that guy is not a movie star like you. Yeah, I know, that's a good point,
Starting point is 00:07:47 but it just took up way too much fucking time, and then they were like, what about Donnie? And I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? Dwayne The Rock Johnson's on a TV show on HBO now, Ballers, which is just Entourage, but with sports. Yeah, but The Rock fucking needs that. I don't need shit. San Andreas
Starting point is 00:08:05 and The Last Fast and Furious are some of the biggest movies that have been out. He's doing great. Okay, one, the fucking environments, the fucking star of the movie. And the other one... Kind of like The Happening? Yeah. Except for in that...
Starting point is 00:08:22 Except for in that, I won. And then the other movie, he spends a whole fucking movie in a cast. That's not acting. Go fucking see Fear. That's fucking acting. You're lucky I was in town. You have nothing to fear but fear itself.
Starting point is 00:08:40 What's going on? I think it's pretty fucking obvious. Shark Week. Oh, you're busy during shark week because you're out punching sharks? Fuck yeah, dude. We just go down the coast, I get in the cage, I wait, and I fucking punch them.
Starting point is 00:08:54 And you know what? They're like, thank you. I'm like, you're welcome, you fucking shark. It's great. Well, it's good to have you back on the show, Mark. Thanks, dude. I'm glad to be here. Let's meet the other fellas.
Starting point is 00:09:03 Jeff Tate is here, you guys. Hello. Hi, Doug. Jeff gets so excited when he gets to sit next to Mark Wahlberg. Yeah, I'm very excited, yeah. I'm hoping for some of that magic to rub off on me.
Starting point is 00:09:21 The fuck's that mean, dude? I don't know. I don't think it was sarcastic. I think he just really thinks you're great and wants to be like you. I'm a fan. Have you seen Two Guns? Have I fucking seen it? Yes. It's called A Mirror. Yeah. Yeah, it's
Starting point is 00:09:36 pretty rad, man. It is really fucking good. It was me and the dude from Glory just fucking killing shit. Do you... Morgan Freeman? Do you... Yeah, yeah. He's great in that. Yeah, do you watch your own movies? I mean, sometimes. Like, Transformers I'll fucking watch
Starting point is 00:09:53 because it's... Those robots are fucking crazy, dude. Other than that... Boogie Nights, have you given Boogie Nights an extra view ever? Sometimes I'll watch fucking Renaissance Man. Did they have to give you
Starting point is 00:10:08 a smaller dick in Boogie Nights? Is that what I heard? That you just, like your regular dick is so big that that, that one that was like a foot was shorter than usual? True story.
Starting point is 00:10:18 Why am I bombing tonight? I think everybody bombs when Mark Wahlberg's in the house True story That mirror is 72 feet away Alright, okay That's how they did it See, if you didn't say the bombing thing
Starting point is 00:10:36 He would have come in with a nice laugh And you set him up He's still got the laugh We both got laughs then Yeah, right, Donnie's a movie star. And Graham Elwood is here. Take control, gas lamp. Take control of your bowels.
Starting point is 00:10:58 Of your quarter. Graham, let's talk about it. It's coming up rapidly. L.A. Podfest. Yeah! Fourth annual. Fourth annual, September 18th through 20th at the Sofitel Hotel.
Starting point is 00:11:16 There was a couple, Winnie and Mike, who I think got engaged there last year, and they had a baby, and they named the baby Podfest. Oh, that's going to be a miserable life for that child. Yeah, they named it
Starting point is 00:11:29 Honshot First Podfest and then whatever the fuck the kid's last name is, I don't care. But it was great. So yeah, come to Podfest. Doug, you're in it? You're doing Podfest? I know Sklarbro Country is there, so I believe Mr. Wahlberg will be there. He might come by.
Starting point is 00:11:45 Yeah, we'll try to get Jeff to come by. But all the great podcasters are going to be there for all under one roof, and it's a really fun weekend. I'm going to do my food podcast, Dining with Doug and Karen. So at that one, everyone will get to try all the food. And that was fun when we did it there a couple years ago. Yeah. And, yeah, it's a great event.
Starting point is 00:12:04 And also, where are we at with the earbuds, the podcast movie? was fun when we did it there a couple years ago yeah and uh yeah it's a it's a great event and also where are we at with uh the the earbuds the podcast earbuds were in the final stages of that i'm actually driving back early friday after uh comic-con we're finishing that up and we will be uh you know previewing it at uh the pot fest that'll be the first ever screening of it so come up for that. And other things. I've been stuck in a fucking editing room. I don't get to see the sun anymore. Wait, you're going to show the movie for the first time at PodFest?
Starting point is 00:12:33 Yep. That's awesome. It's going to be amazing. I'm excited, but also terrified because everyone watching it will be either in it, gave money to Kickstarter, or both. So if they hate it, I'm going to fucking, you'll never see me again.
Starting point is 00:12:48 I'm going to run free and murder. Hey, Graham. Why murder? Graham. Why is murder one of the options? Jeff, it is always one of the options. Hey, Graham Elwood. Yes, Mark.
Starting point is 00:13:02 I'm just going to say, if your movie fucking sucks, I will do a one-and-a-half-minute scene and save that shit. Done deal. We're going to put you in it. Fucking make it happen. Yeah. You know what?
Starting point is 00:13:15 Get Adrian Grenadewater to be in it, and we'll just do a scene where I make fun of him in a hallway again. People fucking love that shit. Yeah, we're gonna ink a deal with Adrian Grenadewater and it's gonna be rad. Is that how you pronounce it? Hot dogs and grenade water.
Starting point is 00:13:33 Hot dogs and grenade water. Who gives a shit? Jeff, Meg Ryan isn't in the mean season. You tricked me on that one episode. It wasn't intentional. I know, but found that out. Yeah, you tricked me on that one episode. It wasn't intentional. I know, but you did it. That's all I'm going to say about that.
Starting point is 00:13:50 Have you been in the movies lately, Jeff? No, the last movie I saw was Escape Plan on HBO. Did you like it? Yeah. Who the fuck wooed that? Who wooed that? Yeah, Escape Plan. I'm sure it was great. I'm sure it was great.
Starting point is 00:14:05 I'm sure it was great. Has there ever been a movie where two convicted murderers escape and go on the lam and the whole time you're hoping they get caught? Every movie where somebody escapes from prison
Starting point is 00:14:17 is like Shawshank where it's like they were imprisoned wrongly and then they have the escape saga. What happens in Escape Plan? What's the premise? This one has both. Sylvester Stallone is wrongly imprisoned
Starting point is 00:14:32 but Arnold Schwarzenegger helps him and he is rightfully imprisoned. Why? What did he do? I was rightfully imprisoned. It's unclear what he did but but I believe it. They're rounding up the Austrians.
Starting point is 00:14:49 Is that fucking true? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, look it up. I don't have somebody looking up. Anyway, they get out. It's fucking cool. Oh, don't spoil it.
Starting point is 00:15:03 Yeah. I don't know if they're going to get out of the movie entitled Escape Plan. What about you, Graham? Have you been... What's the last thing you saw? You were always catching up with the latest movies. I just saw Me and Earl and a Dying Girl, and that's a really excellent movie. You like that? Yeah, I loved it a lot.
Starting point is 00:15:24 I recommend that a lot. And I saw that to do a palate cleanse from that bag of dicks Terminator Genisys. I turned that down. Oh, really? Which part? Sarah. Sarah Connor. Oh, okay. They were gonna do
Starting point is 00:15:43 gender blind casting on that? I was like, you fucking come with me if you want to fucking live. Like, you can't say it that way. I'm like, then I'm not in your fucking movie. I am out. I thought that the kid, the main kid in Me and Earl and the Dying Girl, I thought that he looked like Pete Holmes and Fred Armisen had a baby. main kid in Me and Earl and the Dying Girl,
Starting point is 00:16:04 I thought that he looked like Pete Holmes and Fred Armisen had a baby. Yeah, the only people laughing are the ones that know that that's exactly what he looks like. What about you, Mark? Have you been to the cinema? I did. I just fucking saw a movie, and I have two issues with it. I saw Inside Out.
Starting point is 00:16:19 First of all, you're not in it. Turn it down. I saw Inside Out Okay Okay First off You have problems with Inside Out? I do
Starting point is 00:16:31 First off Fuck those people for making me cry over Bing Bong They should disclaimer that shit Secondly I found the movie unbelievable Like I couldn't fucking believe Cause Well let me You guys are normal people.
Starting point is 00:16:47 Do you guys live with fear? Is that a thing? I think a lot of people do have fear and panic. You don't have either of those. I couldn't fucking identify you. You don't have sadness? Nope. All you have is joy and anger.
Starting point is 00:17:00 That's fucking it. And you know what? It's fucking it And you know what? It's fucking working For the listener at home I stood up because I fucking meant it Definitely update the folks at home Whenever you stand up Stand up
Starting point is 00:17:23 Next to you What? And defend you still today Oh shit Stand up. Yeah. Stand up. Next to you. What? And defend you still today. Oh, shit. Oh. Feel it. Feel it.
Starting point is 00:17:32 You fucking do feel it. What'd you bring for the prize bag, Mark? Oh, fuck. I brought some good shit. I watched a movie today on HBO called Lucky You. It's about poker, and I actually really liked it. Eric Bana and Robert Duvall. I liked it.
Starting point is 00:17:48 If you have HBO or HBO Go or whatever and you like poker, there's a lot of poker in it. I brought something for fun. This is the Comic Con time. It's called Spin the Fucking Shot. You put a fucking shot in there and you spin an arrow. Do you win? Do you get drunk? Who knows? Play the fucking game.
Starting point is 00:18:06 It's like spin the bottle but without kissing, just getting fucked up. Just doing fucking shots. Getting drunk, doing shots. What a fun thing. Then I bought something else. That's not it? That is not it.
Starting point is 00:18:19 I was in a movie that widely was regarded as deserving multiple Academy Awards. Can I guess which one you're talking about? Yes. You're going to be right no matter which one you say. All right. Lone Survivor?
Starting point is 00:18:40 It is fucking Lone Survivor. Here's what it is. I saw that right down the street here at the Gaslamp Reading. This is a fucking survival tool. Now, I don't know what your life is like. Maybe you're in a gang. Maybe you're trying to fight your way out. I don't fucking care. But this will help you.
Starting point is 00:18:58 And you will be the lone survivor, which means you're better than everyone else you fucking know, because they died. You're welcome. Survival tool. Oh, it's like you put it in your wallet. I don't know. It's something weak people need. And you can open a bottle.
Starting point is 00:19:16 You can... You can shave with it. You can shiv somebody in the gut with it. Yeah, it's a survival tool. Eight bucks retail. Oh, I don't... They just... They didn't charge.
Starting point is 00:19:29 Apologies, six bucks. You just put it in your pocket and walked out the door, didn't you? No, I said, taking this, and they said, whatever you want, Mark. Oh, Urban Outfitters.
Starting point is 00:19:38 I don't know. Is that why the glass is broken at that store? Is it because you threw somebody against the window? Look, that fucking person said, have a good day, and I'm like, you don't fucking know me. You don't know my joy and my anger. Nope.
Starting point is 00:19:51 All right, what'd you bring, Jeff? It's just like regular stuff. Well, there goes your hope in that magic rubbing off, Jeff. It's not a spin the shot or a mandle. You just got regular stuff. Yeah, like if you're lost in the woods or whatever and you need to open a bottle, none of this will help.
Starting point is 00:20:15 But I have a copy of my album, I Got Potential. Yeah! A copy of an album I really like called Coward's Path by Mishka Shubali. He's a singer. He sings about drinking and losing stuff. So it's like a musical version of my albums.
Starting point is 00:20:33 Like, mine is just, like, talking about drinking and fucking everything up, and his is rhymes. Yeah, there's three tracks on here called Taxes and Jail, Alcoholism, and Eating Alone. Yeah, I think those are about... Those all happened to me in April. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:51 And a Denim on Denim shirt, pal, right there. Chip chain? Which you can get, too, off my website, justanotherclown.com. You can buy that shirt, the Hot Dogs and Gatorade shirt, or the Decency or Death shirt. And 20% of the money I make goes to a domestic violence shelter. Yeah, man. Nice. For what?
Starting point is 00:21:13 What? I was going to try to move on, because I don't want to make domestic violence jokes, but, uh... Graham... Oh, thanks to hand that over to me. Speaking of domestic violence wow
Starting point is 00:21:25 you've been married a few times Jesus Christ yeah to a Brazilian who fucking beat the shit out of me who whistled aren't you into
Starting point is 00:21:37 all that jujitsu shit yeah man I learned it from my ex-wife you just learned it all backwards yeah like as it was
Starting point is 00:21:44 coming at you does this technique work who'd you learn it from my ex-wife. You just learned it all backwards? Yeah. Like as it was coming at you? Does this technique work? Who'd you learn it from? My wife! My wife! I got a cue from a woman wearing some kind of weird furry hat back there. And what'd you bring for the prize bag?
Starting point is 00:22:04 Well, Jeff, I have a have a Jeff who are you again that's right Don I have a courtesy of Astori merchandise I have a one of a kind these are not for sale palm strike hoodie that is a nice item there you go look at that
Starting point is 00:22:21 it says on the back in the pocket is a little card. You've got to come see me after the show so I can get your info, but it's a free weekend pass to the Los Angeles Podcast Festival. Oh, that's nice. Oh, shit. All my stuff just seems like
Starting point is 00:22:39 it's not for sale. Since no one really buys it. No, but you're going to have like eight CDs for sale to the audience after the show, right? I have four of each. Four of each. So you can double up and get both if you want if you're first in line. But yeah, come see Jeff after the show. He'll be out front smoking a cigarette.
Starting point is 00:23:02 Yep. I'm going to take a picture with this guy with the Caddyshack shirt because he's got a Bushwood Country Club. Gambling is illegal at Bushwood, sir, and I never slice. Caddyshack, are we playing that game, Mark? No, we're technically not playing that game right now. We should be. Well, the world needs ditch jiggers, too.
Starting point is 00:23:24 Nice quote! Nice. Nice quote! Nice! Nice quote! By height. That was from that movie, too. How do you measure yourself against other golfers? By height. He's very tall.
Starting point is 00:23:37 Thank you very little. Nice hat. What, do you get a free bowl of soup with it? But it looks good on you, though. That wasn't me slamming Jeff. That was a quote from the movie. You guys are like, you're being mean to Jeff. I'm quoting a movie.
Starting point is 00:23:51 Be the ball, Danny. All right. Right back in the lumberyard. Look at this fucking Batman jersey-wearing idiot. That's also from the movie. What? We're just quoting Caddyshack. I'm just quoting... jersey wearing idiot. That's also from the movie. What? What? What? We're just quoting Caddyshack. I'm just quoting...
Starting point is 00:24:11 I love that scene. It's easy to grin when your ship comes in. Who's the fucking mope with the Dark Knight jersey? Remember when Ted Knight became from New York? Oh, fucking Ted Knight! This fucking guy! That sounds like Dice.
Starting point is 00:24:29 Andrew Dice Ted Knight. Since we're at Comic-Con, it's preview night of Comic-Con. It starts in earnest tomorrow. Let's start with Graham and just go down the line. What is your favorite comic book movie adaptation? I think I have a guess for which one would be Graham's favorite. The new Wonder Woman thing?
Starting point is 00:24:54 Which is your favorite of the three most recent Batman films? If you had to pick one. Or the original. If you want to go back to Adam West when he throws a bomb at a shark. Sir, I'm going to need you to leave. Staircase. Is Jaws a Batman movie? Yeah, it is. Is Batman a comic book?
Starting point is 00:25:21 I'd say, man, it's a tough one. Either The Dark Knight or The Dark Knight Rises. I mean, it's hard to say no to Heath Ledger, but then you've got Bane, so everything's right in the world. All three movies are the favorite. Okay. Jeff? Okay.
Starting point is 00:25:37 I can't argue with you. I like those movies. What if I said Red 2? Mine is Batman with Michael Keaton The original Oh is that what you meant by the original Alright I'm glad you guys liked that movie All of you who clap
Starting point is 00:25:56 Should be ashamed of yourselves I mean There needs to be some fucking nerd on nerd crime After this I want to see some beat downss on these fucking Mike Keaton or we could just go bat dance because that's a highlight of that film.
Starting point is 00:26:11 That's one of my favorite parts of the movie is that it's Gotham City. It's super wacky. Everything's crazy and Prince exists. And the Joker's a huge fan and one guy in his gang just walks around playing Prince songs.
Starting point is 00:26:27 That's all his job is in the gang, is to take a fucking boombox around playing Prince songs that only exist in Gotham City, but it's still Prince, the one we know, too. So he's kind of like that guy in the new Mad Max that just plays the guitar in the front of the fucking... Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:45 All right, now I'm down with it. They should have got Prince for Mad Max. That would have been hilarious. If he played that guitar. It might have been Prince. His face was all painted. We don't know... And Fire came out.
Starting point is 00:26:56 Prince does that, probably. I've never seen Fire come out of Prince. Mark Wahlberg, do you have a favorite comic book movie? Have you been in a comic book movie? Max Payne, I guess? Yeah. That movie was
Starting point is 00:27:10 fucking great. You know, I'd probably have to say my favorite, oh man. I could just be an asshole and say League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Chasing Amy.
Starting point is 00:27:34 Yeah, I'd probably have to go Spider-Man 2. Okay, yeah, that's a good one. Doc Ock and everything? Yeah, I thought that was fun. Yeah, I like Alfred Molina. Yeah. Guardians of the Galaxy was pretty fucking great. Yeah, that movie's great. That movie's great. Written down ahead Alfred Molina. Yeah. Guardians of the Galaxy was pretty fucking great. Yeah, that movie's great. That movie's great. Written down ahead of time,
Starting point is 00:27:47 my answer, Guardians of the Galaxy. That's my favorite one. G-O-G. They recently announced the sequel's gonna be called Volume 2, which is great
Starting point is 00:27:56 because it's a reference to the... Music. Music, exactly. I know fucking music. Wait, they're naming the second one after the soundtrack?
Starting point is 00:28:04 That's pretty wild. Yeah, right? Yeah. And it's not silly, you know? It's just Volume 2. Wait, they're naming the second one after the soundtrack? That's pretty wild. Yeah, right? Yeah. And it's not silly, you know? It's just volume two. Yeah, it's cool. Just fucking, let's do this. I forgot.
Starting point is 00:28:10 G-O-T-G-V-T. I forgot Guardians was a comic book movie, but I'm still going to stick with Batman. Yeah, yeah. No, they'll probably, you know, jam in some sort of character from the rest of the Marvel universe in the next one. Because they're really trying to do that. I hear a few show up in Entman. Entman.
Starting point is 00:28:32 Now it's the part of the show where I say, let the games begin. Fucking do this. Who wants to win? I was born in it. Gentlemen, they always do a great job here in San Diego with the name tags, especially Comic-Con week. So go ahead and pick who you want to play for.
Starting point is 00:28:54 And while you do that, we'll do this. We'll be right back. Hey, everybody. Comic-Con 2015 has begun, so whether you're at Comic-Con or wish you were, rent or own my movie, Chronicon, from iTunes or on VOD and lots of other places where you get motion picture entertainment. And thanks to all of you who have watched and enjoyed the silliness. Back to the show. All right, we're back.
Starting point is 00:29:21 Who are you playing for, Graham? I'm playing for Jen and her bag of donuts. Oh, donuts. Pass them down. We got to throw them back into the crowd. That's how it works. I'm going to save one. Yeah, sure, because I know how you love sugar.
Starting point is 00:29:40 Sugary, floury things. I'm going to fucking get whacked out. Are they gluten-free donuts? No. They're also hard to get out of the bag, apparently. Oh, floury things. Makes me fucking get whacked out. Are they gluten-free donuts? No. They're also hard to get out of the bag, apparently. Oh, look at him just eating one. When you got divorced, did you start eating gluten? Because I started drinking again a lot when I got divorced.
Starting point is 00:29:59 Yeah, I was like, I can't handle this anymore. Fucking gluten and dairy. Fuck it, life. I'm going to eat cheese and crackers until I'm not sad anymore was like, I can't handle this anymore. Fucking gluten and dairy. Fucking life. I'm going to eat cheese and crackers until I'm not sad anymore. Oh, this is going to be messy. It's going to be messy. Can I do this, Doug? Yeah, do it.
Starting point is 00:30:20 Just be careful. Okay. Don't hit anybody in their expensive clothes. Only put your hand up if you worked out today. Oh, shit. Oh, that guy. Yeah! You fucking earned it.
Starting point is 00:30:44 You fucking earned it. You fucking earned it. All right, who wants the other half of the donut Graham took a bite out of? I ripped it with my hand. I did not put my mouth on that. But if you put your mouth on one end, we'll go side to side like the... Dogs in Lady and the Tramp. Dogs and Lady and the Tramp.
Starting point is 00:31:05 Yeah, Lady and the Tramp. I can feel the calories on my hands. That was a protein donut, right? Who are you playing for, Jeff? Anthony. From the front row. Yeah, the Anthony strikes back. And a full title is too long.
Starting point is 00:31:23 Stoner Wars, yeah. Stoner Wars, the saga. We talked about it earlier because I liked that one. Stoner Wars, yeah. Stoner Wars, the saga. We talked about it earlier because I liked that one. Oh, yeah, yeah, I picked it. Okay, cool. Anthony. And Mark, who are you playing for? I'm playing because they had a movie based off of, like, everyone was inspired
Starting point is 00:31:38 by me. It's called Magic Megan. Wait, you think the Magic Mike films were inspired by you? It's fucking hot sexy dudes dancing. All right, I take it back. Dude, look at you in the front. Yeah, I know.
Starting point is 00:31:54 They put my face on Magic Mike's body. I feel pretty good about it. Fun, hot, and sexy. I'm going to begin a new life as an exotic dancer. I don't think that's what they call them, though, the male ones. Exotic? They just call them strippers. Fucking strippers.
Starting point is 00:32:12 All right. Let's play some games. We're going to start off with... Somebody's going to win all those fabulous prizes, one of these three people. Thanks again to everybody else who made name tags. And let's start with how much did this shit make? In honor of Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck getting a divorce,
Starting point is 00:32:36 how much did that shitty comic book movie they made called Daredevil, how much did Daredevil make? We'll start with Graham. It's in millions without going over. Daredevil, where Ben Affleck was blind. Favreau was in there, I think. God, the new Netflix series I love. Yeah, I haven't seen that yet.
Starting point is 00:32:59 It's good? It's really good. I love it. I love it a lot. Yeah, right? It's awesome. It's great. Boy, that movie was pretty
Starting point is 00:33:08 shitty. And I think I'm going to have to say $53 million. Which it had a big budget, so that made it, it tanked it. Alright, fair enough. Jeff, what do you think?
Starting point is 00:33:25 $80 million. Okay. Very decisive. Just spit it out. Nail it. And Mark Wahlberg, if someone's recommending a dollar, as they do, or someone says you should bid Amy Adams, I think you would lose if you said that As they do. Or someone says you should bid Amy Adams.
Starting point is 00:33:48 I think you would lose if you said that, because she's not worth as much as this movie made. Is that that mousy girl? She's dead to me. What? Is that the mousy girl from Poison Ivy 2? No, she's the girl that was your co-star in The Fighter, you idiot. Is it because she got nominated for an Oscar and you didn't?
Starting point is 00:34:16 Is that why you blocked it out? No. Let's not think about her or Christian Bale. Or that other lady. Sorry, Doug, I was thinking about my workout for tomorrow. What were you saying? All right, I will go with... How much do you think Daredevil made? $88 million.
Starting point is 00:34:32 Oh, you motherfucker. I just doesn't really agree with you. A lot of people thought you should have gone with $1, but that would have been... I guarantee it made more than a dollar, you fucking morons. A ticket costs, like, what, two, three bucks? But the idea is... But they're saying if it made less than 53
Starting point is 00:34:51 and you bid a dollar, then you would win. That's why they were suggesting it. Well, I know it made more than a dollar. Okay. No, I'm saying... This is a great conversation. Unfortunately, Mark is the closest because it made $102.5 million.
Starting point is 00:35:09 Yeah, so take your $1 and fuck it. Because remember, Graham, they had to have a reason to make Elektra with just Jennifer Garner. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it did pretty good. Ugh. We'll do, next summer we'll do Elektra.
Starting point is 00:35:25 Because I'm sure Jennifer and Ben will be up to some more new interesting things. Let's play the brand new game that everybody loves. It's a sensation all the world over. Whose tagline is it anyway? We'll start with Mark and then we'll go to Jeff and then we'll go to Graham. This is an individual game where I'll just say a tagline specifically to you. If you can't get it right, then it moves to the next guy. And audience, please, please no helping.
Starting point is 00:35:56 What movie, Mark Wahlberg, had the tagline, When you can live forever, what do you live for? When you can live forever, what do you live for? Did somebody say little fuckers? I don't think that's it. What do you live for, you little fuckers? You got do you live for, you little fuckers? You got nothing to live for, you little fuckers.
Starting point is 00:36:29 Hey, you guys get that joke, right? Like, it sounds like fucker. Wait a second. Wait, wait, what? Yeah, it's like they're almost cursing, but they're not. So when they're like, you fuckers, right? Like, my parents can laugh at it. You didn't get that?
Starting point is 00:36:47 I never got that. You should go watch it again, but know that they're just, like, they're pretending. They're swearing. When you can live forever, what do you live for? Good heads up, Jeff. All right. Thank you. My first thought is Fern Gully.
Starting point is 00:37:20 That could be one of those exotic dancers' names. I'm going to have to go with Twilight New Moon That is correct What? What? Whoa It's just a good vibration
Starting point is 00:37:40 Wait a second Did you say Twilight New Moon? Good vibration. Wait a second. Wait a second, though. Did you say Twilight, New Moon? Yeah, is that not correct? No, it's the first Twilight, so it's wrong. It's all right. Hey.
Starting point is 00:37:59 This is a good vibration. But you did say Twilight and paused for a second, so that's why I said correct. Fair enough. I'm only going to fuck a dozen girls after this show. That's your punishment? It's their punishment. You're going to cap it at mine?
Starting point is 00:38:22 Wait, who's getting punished? How do you fuck? Competitively. No, no, that's not how you're supposed to do it. You just get in there with some anger and joy and do your thing. That's it. It's all you need. All right. Sorry about that, Mark.
Starting point is 00:38:43 That's all right. That was really impressive, though. It felt good. I almost got it. The only title I could think the full one of was Twilight, New Moon. Is the first one just called fucking Twilight? I think so. It should be called Twilight, Why Are You Watching Us? Dusk.
Starting point is 00:38:58 Because it's what you live for. That's why. Alright, Jeff gets the next one. What movie is this from, Jeff? Man has made its match. Now it's his problem. Man has made its match. Now it's his problem.
Starting point is 00:39:20 Whose problem? Yeah, whose problem is it? That might lead you to the title, figuring out whose problem it is. RoboCop. Oh, no, sorry. Stop it. Get one guess.
Starting point is 00:39:39 RoboCop New Moon? That's what I was going to say. RoboCop Eclipse? RoboCop Spring Break. The saga continues. A Weekend at RoboCop. Part two. moon that's what i was gonna say that's what i was gonna say robocop eclipse robocop spring break the saga continues a weekend at robocop part two uh graham do you have i was stressing the audience not you okay wow graham was looking at me like why i should be able to speak i'm in this uh man has made his match now it it's his problem. What's that from? Oh, Ernest Saves Christmas.
Starting point is 00:40:09 Oh, there you go. Santa's in the slammer. All right. No, that's Ernest goes to jail. Since all three of you missed, I'm going to put all three of you back in the game. And in this particular case, the movie is called... Do you have an idea, Mark?
Starting point is 00:40:22 A guess? It's just that fucking movie. It seems like one of your movies. Is it that movie with the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air? He's made a few. No, the fucking robots? If I had to guess, are you thinking of
Starting point is 00:40:35 iRobot? Yeah. What? iRobot? No, that's not a bad one, though. The answer is Blade Runner. Blade Runner. Blade Runner. Classic science fiction. They made the robots, and now it's the Blade Runner. Good call.
Starting point is 00:40:51 It's his problem. Deckard is a replicant. That movie's about robots? Oh, yeah. I thought it was about speed skaters. Blade Runner. Go kick the goals. I thought it was about Bonnie Blair. Is that too old a reference? Yes. Blade Runner go get the gold I thought it was about Bonnie Blair
Starting point is 00:41:07 is that too old a reference yes fair enough I just like to know why it doesn't work let's start with Mark again we're back in this yeah you're back in
Starting point is 00:41:17 because all three of you just missed so I might as well put you all back in and we're back up to three dozen what nothing let's go
Starting point is 00:41:24 what movie is this from up to three dozen. What? Nothing. Let's go. What movie is this from? The tagline. Slam-em. What? Sorry. I have sloppy writing. That's not it.
Starting point is 00:41:41 Yeah. The actual answer is not much better. Slam evil. Exclamation point. S much better. Slam evil! Exclamation point. Slam evil? Slam evil! Holy shit. Yeah. Slam fucking evil.
Starting point is 00:41:54 I'm gonna give whoever gets... If any of you get this one right, I'm gonna give you 20 bucks. Why is someone yelling something out? That's what I thought. You'll have to deal with Mark if you yell out an answer. Slam evil. That sounds like I thought. You'll have to deal with Mark if you yell out an answer. Slam.
Starting point is 00:42:07 Evil. Basketball reference. You know what? Let's go. Air Bud 2, Above the Rims. Above the Rims? There's two on a court. Is it...
Starting point is 00:42:27 All right, Jeff has a guess. The Phantom. That's correct. Yeah. How the fuck... How did you know that? $20 cash. How did you know that?
Starting point is 00:42:43 Is it just the $20 that made you figure it out? Yeah. No, I worked at King's Island in Cincinnati when that movie came out, and they showed, like, the premiere of it was in the theater there. And I watched it, and it's great. It's got this guy, Billy Zane,
Starting point is 00:43:00 who's way better than fucking... I don't know, right? Good bother, Sean. Billy Zane, who's way better than fucking... Good bother, Sean. Billy Zane. No, that movie was... I used to think it was hilarious. There was this scene where... You're in Zane. Christie's Watson says,
Starting point is 00:43:16 your dog's a wolf. And he goes, I know. That's a good movie. That's good writing, right? Like, I think Robert Towne wrote it. Isn't Alec Baldwin in it? Yeah. I think so. Yeah. Sure. Why't Alec Baldwin in it? Yeah. I think so.
Starting point is 00:43:25 Yeah. Sure. Why not? I've seen it a lot. All right. We move on to Graham. Mark remains out. If Graham, regardless of what Graham does, Mark's just out.
Starting point is 00:43:38 But if Graham misses this, then this is Jeff's win. What movie is the tagline, The Legend Begins? The Legend Begins. The Legend Begins. Mm-hmm. With? Normally, if it was this quiet in this room with this many people,
Starting point is 00:44:04 someone would be fucking bombing I feel like it's me Stop it Jeff You're doing great Everybody loves you Jeff Which one are you going to go with Graham? The legend continues? No it begins
Starting point is 00:44:21 Wow So that's probably part of your problem in thinking is that you changed it. The legend begins. Begins. Yeah. That's The Lone Ranger. No, I'm sorry. It's a movie.
Starting point is 00:44:37 I'm not sure if you're familiar with this one. It's called Batman Begins. begins. You think he's going to stay back there? Alright, so Graham had to take off. Alright, so Graham had to take off. That's an awkward door for a quick exit. It doesn't move. It's like you gotta squeeze through it. I was hoping you'd come back with a phantom jersey on.
Starting point is 00:45:22 That'd be a pretty sweet way to rectify this. Well, that was a really fun round of whose tagline is it anyway, and Jeff is our winner. I'm going to go on record. I don't like that game. Don't like it. All right. Fair enough.
Starting point is 00:45:43 What do you think about Last Man Standing? Yeah! Now this is a game I am on board with. Alright, I just want to remind everybody that listens to this show everyone that's attending the show tonight that when you tweet at me all day long that you have the perfect name for Last Man Stanton, first of all you don't
Starting point is 00:46:01 and second of all why bother to tweet to me that? Because I'm just going to pick somebody in the audience who I like. And there is a young lady over here that made my favorite name tag. Because it's a version of my poster for Chronicon. She changed it to Kellycon. And so she gets to pick who we're going to play Last Man Standing with. We'll start with Jeff and then
Starting point is 00:46:27 go to Mark. And what would you like us to play, Kelly? Jamie Foxx! Interesting! I like it! Wow! I like it!
Starting point is 00:46:43 Alright! I guess we're doing a speed round Yeah It might not last very long but I like it I don't even think he's still in SAG Alright so Jeff we'll start with you I'm going to play too of course
Starting point is 00:46:59 Jeff name a Is this a bit? No That's what Kelly wants So Jeff Name a movie that's got Jamie Foxx in it Django Unchained Yeah that's a good one to start off with.
Starting point is 00:47:27 Mark. Marky Marky Mark. Mark, Mark, Mark. Mark, Mark. Ray. That's a dog with a speech impediment. What? Ray.
Starting point is 00:47:39 Ray, of course. Oscar winning performance, yes. Yeah, he won the Oscar. Did you turn that down too? He did a good job on that. Yeah, of course. Oscar-winning performance, yes. Yeah, he won the Oscar. Did you turn that down, too? You did a good job on that. Yeah, I did. Oh, I fucking did. I was supposed to be the piano.
Starting point is 00:48:04 We're really doing Jamie Foxx? Yeah, we really are. It's really happening. Why don't we follow it up with Gilbert Gottfried while we're at it? I know two Gilbert Gottfried movies. All right. I got a Jamie Foxx.
Starting point is 00:48:16 I got a Jamie Foxx. How about Collateral? Oh, good movie. That's why I picked it. I knew you liked it, Graham. Yeah, it's good stuff. I took it from you. I will go with Ali.
Starting point is 00:48:34 Ooh. Hello. It's not some stupid fucking movie poster phrase movie. Game. I thought that was Will Smith. It sure was. But there were other people.
Starting point is 00:48:52 In the title role, but they had other actors that participated. And one of them was named Jamie Foxx. It wasn't just a solo training video of him just like a butterfly for 90 minutes. I've only seen the poster. Alright, Jeff.
Starting point is 00:49:10 What do you got? Horrible bosses. Alright. Mark. Stealth. Oh. Wow. Snuck that one in there. Oh. Wow. Snuck that one in there.
Starting point is 00:49:27 I like it. That's a good one. I'm going to go ahead and say Horrible Bosses 2. Wow. I will do one of the worst movies about a really great game.
Starting point is 00:49:46 Any Given Sunday. Graham, any chance he gets to complain about Any Given Sunday. On Any Given Sunday, he will tell you what a dumbass movie that is. Call me up on Any Given Sunday, and I'll go, No one who's ever watched a game of football was even fucking involved in that goddamn movie. It's like, oh, this is the pro league. And then they mention later in the movie, oh, it's playing against the NFL.
Starting point is 00:50:14 What the fuck would I give a shit about some fucking second-tier league? I just assumed it was a bunch of things because you couldn't get the rights to the NFL. Oliver Stone, just stick with fucking Vietnam. Do you like it? Great movie. Really good. Al Pacino,
Starting point is 00:50:38 the most convincing professional football coach ever. Yeah, he's like, I'm going to take a flame show to that referee. That Game of Inches speech he gives is pretty cool. That's not a bad speech. It's a Game of Inches. Is it your turn, Jeff? Are you stalling?
Starting point is 00:50:55 I'm just waiting for him to calm down. I've been sitting over here thinking about the kingdom for a while. Oh, the kingdom. Oh, nice Jim again. The Kingdom for a while. Oh, The Kingdom. Oh, nice. Yeah, big yeah. Mark, it's turned out to be he's made a lot of movies. Yeah, good choice. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:15 Good job, Kelly. We've listed seven. Nine, but who's counting? Not me. Yeah, you're busy trying to think of another one. Pootie Tang? Whoa. Yep, directed by Louis C.K.
Starting point is 00:51:36 Yeah, but he's not in it. I think he is in it. Chris Rock's in it. Yeah, Chris Rock is in it, but Jamie Foxx isn't in it. Thank you for playing, Mark. No problem. When we get to a real career, let me know. What? I'll take...
Starting point is 00:51:51 I'll take Booty Call. Graham? Booty Call. Okay, I will go with... Did somebody yell sheepskin? Is that what happened? Because I know there's a lot of condom talk in that movie. I will go with a film by the name of...
Starting point is 00:52:14 Oh, I love it when you do this. He's got to do the long ramp up to come up with something. Jeff and I are going to go head to head. Sorry. What? Excuse me? Huh? I thought you had to say something. Jeff and I are going to go head to head. Sorry. Sorry. What? Excuse me?
Starting point is 00:52:28 Huh? I thought you had to say something. No, no, you go ahead. No, no, what is it? I thought you had to say something. What's the name of the movie? No, I don't want to be rude. If you need to talk, go say what you got to say
Starting point is 00:52:35 and then I'll come up with my thing. No, no, you go ahead. Okay. That's fun. Let's do that. Yeah. Can I get a Jack and Coke with extra muscle milk? Ooh, if that's happening, I'll take a Budweiser, please.
Starting point is 00:52:57 Okay. Nothing, Graham? No, I wanted these guys to get their orders. Oh, okay. Do you need anything? Yeah. Could I have just like a club soda with a lime, a long straw? No, I just wanted these guys to get their orders. Oh, okay. Do you need anything? Yeah. Could I have just like a club soda with a lime, a long straw?
Starting point is 00:53:16 And Jamie Foxx's IMDB page wrapped around it? It wouldn't go all the way around the fucking glass. You made a great sign, though. All right, Graham's out. Any Given Sunday 2. Yeah, they haven't gotten around to that yet because they heard someone hates that movie. Fucking the dumbest movie ever. What do you got, Jeff?
Starting point is 00:53:46 It's between you and me, Jeff. Jarhead. God damn it. God damn it. I know, it feels real dumb, right? Oh. I'm going to go with The Amazing Spider-Man 2. Yeah, that's right.
Starting point is 00:54:04 I'm going to go with bait. Right? It's set up like shoot the ice bullet. Okay. I believe you. Spoiler. Well, I just,
Starting point is 00:54:17 I had that mean season situation and like this one's for real. I'm going to get tweets tomorrow. He wasn't in bait. I'm going to get tweets tomorrow. He wasn't in bait. I'm going to go with a motion picture called Dreamgirls. What?
Starting point is 00:54:34 Really? Miami Vice. Oh! Now, does that really count? Because I think he was just background in that. Do documentaries count, Doug? Huh?
Starting point is 00:54:55 Do documentaries count? Well, if he was in a feature film that was a documentary, I guess it could count. Why? What one did you think of? I think they made one that's just 45 minutes of him licking his lips. I can't believe Mark Wahlberg is so critical of Jamie Foxx.
Starting point is 00:55:13 I was supposed to be Ray. I wasn't going to be the fucking piano. I was supposed to be fucking Ray. Oh, they're going to do some colorblind casting on that? He couldn't tell. Because he was dead? Yeah, that too. Annie, a.k.a. Blanny.
Starting point is 00:55:37 Way to go, Doug. Woo! Racing stripes. What? He was the voice of one of the horses? Yeah. Woo! Racing Stripes. What? He was the voice of one of the horses? Yeah. You sure? Not at all.
Starting point is 00:55:51 But I really think he was. It's either that or Over the Hedge. All right. I'm going to look up Racing Stripes because that's your guess. Jeff, if somebody asks you if you're sure, you say yes. No, I've done that like four of these in a row. How did it work out? Did you win?
Starting point is 00:56:11 I did win. There you fucking go, dude. Oh, you got your beverages, guys. Oh, is that how you serve Budweiser or did you just run out and get the one that was most like me? You do this. You were just like, this guy probably wants a giant. Thank you, sir. Fucking, like I'm on the lawn.
Starting point is 00:56:27 Hey, give your waitstaff a big round of applause, everybody. Tip them well. Tip them well. I got a giant can of beer like I'm on the lawn at a Luke Bryant concert. You look like a dude yelling at girls with pasties in Lake Havasu. Whoopi Goldberg, Snoop Dogg, Steve Harvey, Michael Clarke Duncan.
Starting point is 00:56:53 There was a lot of people did the voices of the horses, but Jamie Foxx is not one of them. Yeah, but Jeff wins anyway because I can't win. So congratulations, Jeff. Way to go, buddy. Jeffy Jeff. And what did we miss? What was the one with Robert Downey Jr. where he was homeless? The soloist.
Starting point is 00:57:17 Oh, I thought Robert Downey Jr. played both parts in that movie. No, no. What else? Eight Million Maze to die in the West. He had like a cameo in that. A million ways to die in the West. Django was the first one. Where the fuck are you?
Starting point is 00:57:35 Where you taking a shit? In your seat. What else? Rio. He's a voice in Rio. That's a guy with kids. That's what I meant. That's a guy who has kids, right? Great White Hype.
Starting point is 00:57:53 Great White Hype. Toys. Toys? Boys? Boys? Floys? Joys? Floys? Joys? Joys?
Starting point is 00:58:09 Cloys? Noys? I hope listing all these movies has made people feel like you can do it too. Stealth was pretty bad. The dude works a lot. Two guys from the front row left Oh it's probably to go
Starting point is 00:58:28 Catch the Women's US soccer It's over Oh that was a couple days ago Cause that's what people did The show I did a couple days ago So people got up and left Because they changed their minds
Starting point is 00:58:40 And decided they wanted to watch the soccer match Really? Yeah when we did a show on Sunday afternoon. Was that when it was, Sunday afternoon? Were they back in their seats 14 minutes later? Because they scored four goals immediately. It was the most exciting 15 minutes. No, it was four and 15.
Starting point is 00:58:59 Yeah, four and 16. 17 and 22. I don't know. And then it immediately went back to being soccer. It was still great. I don't know. And then it immediately went back to being soccer. It was still great. I loved it. All right, you guys. I am very excited about what's going to happen next because it's time.
Starting point is 00:59:16 What? I'm giving out, yes, free money. That reminds me. I owe you 20. Do you take Canadian? Oh wait, you still owe me $20. That reminds me how you're 20. I used to have fancy rings. Do you take Canadian? You can be blasé about some things, Ross. Is that for real?
Starting point is 00:59:34 Do not fucking... Dude, you shut your mouth. Hey, Mark Wahlberg, try to tear this $20 bill from Canada. They're impossible to tear. Yeah, you can't do it. It's made out of my skin. You can be blasé about some things, Rose. You can be blasé about some things, Rose.
Starting point is 01:00:05 The rose. Gypsy rose. You can be blasé about some things, Rose. The rose. You can be blasé about some things, Rose. Purple Rose of the Cairo. It is fucking Titanic. And that no hack Billy Zane fucking says it. You just called him no hack. He's all hack. Does he rap back around? Why did you say no hack?
Starting point is 01:00:24 I always win, Jack Oh, Titanic Billy Zane again Boogie Nights That's I'm ready to go, Jack I'm ready to fucking go, Jack The Mummy That was also Billy Zane, though, right?
Starting point is 01:00:38 We have derailed Alright, guys, settle down I don't know what's happening here I'm trying to announce an exciting new element in the show. Yes, we're going to bring a ghost onto the stage. Well, thank God we can hide behind that bookcase. Yeah, the scary bookcase. Guys are back.
Starting point is 01:00:58 Did you just watch the first four goals? Oh, he's giving me the don't tell anybody I was outside sucking on my fingers. What? I was outside sucking on my fingers. What? I was twisting my mustache. I forgot about my microphone. Sorry. Alright. A dude on Twitter named Neil Blumpkin
Starting point is 01:01:18 came to me with a suggestion that I love because as much as I love the Leonard Maltin game, it's, you know, his app is dead, and, yeah, and so, and we're working our way towards the super-duper tournament of championships, and so this is a brand-new way to look at the Maltin game. It's called Reverse Maltin.
Starting point is 01:01:43 Yeah. First player gets to pick from three movie titles that I have pre-chosen. Then I will tell you how many cast members are in that movie, you know, listed by Leonard Malton. Then the first player starts the bidding. How many people can you name from the film in any order? But it has to be names
Starting point is 01:02:08 listed by Leonard. So like if the movie was Racing Stripes and you said Jamie Foxx, Leonard did not list him. And if someone bids all the names, then the next person just has to say, name them, and
Starting point is 01:02:24 if the person fails, then you get the point. Yes. But at any point, you can ask the person next to you to name them. And Jeff won the last game, so we'll start with Jeff. And then we'll go to Graham. Oh, shit. Okay, okay, okay. I got it, you guys.
Starting point is 01:02:40 I got it. Almost lost the script. That was a close one. Tight. No, I have to write down your scores on this thing, so that's why I need it. Yeah, write it down. I'll write it down. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:51 All right. Why are you doing that? I want somebody listening at home to just hear like a mild creep voice in one of their ears. Wait, you didn't? Yeah. That's right. Stop doing that.
Starting point is 01:03:09 Oh, yeah. That's right, Jeff. No, I hear it in both my ears. All right. Graham? Yes, sir. Oh, I mean Jeff. Go back to what you were doing, Graham. Jeff?
Starting point is 01:03:26 Oh, yeah. Oh, I mean, Jeff. Go back to what you were doing, Graham. Jeff. Oh, yeah. All right. Yeah. For the listener at home, I'm fucking Graham. 11 more to go. Yeah. That's right, contraband. All right.
Starting point is 01:03:47 Oh, what? You thought you were the only one with a gun? It's a line from the movie. You're welcome. Oh, okay. Jeff, you get to pick between... And, of course, Jeff is spelled with a G. This is just a coincidence,
Starting point is 01:03:59 but I've got three G movies for you. Would you like The Godfather from 1972, Ghostbusters from 1984, or the recent Great Gatsby? The Great Gatsby. Ghostbusters. Of course he picks Ghostbusters. I've never seen the other two.
Starting point is 01:04:22 I haven't seen the other two. Okay, so yeah, it's a good thing you got to pick Because Graham would have been all over Great Gatsby Just as a defensive move Sure Leonard lists, Jeff He lists four, seven, nine names Yeah, nine names
Starting point is 01:04:42 How many of the names listed by Leonard Maltin Can you name? Jeff Tate Ghostbusters Screaming Mad at Ghosts He's working it out in his head Eight What?
Starting point is 01:05:03 What? I thought this would be an exciting game, but I had no idea that he would come out of the gate. You think you can name everybody but one person listed? Yeah. By Leonard Maltin. Well, it depends on how we build the Stay Puff Man. If we build him as Stay Puff Man, I could do all nine.
Starting point is 01:05:24 Graham, that may or may not be helpful to you. What do you think? Can you name nine people from Ghostbusters, or do you want to watch Jeff attempt to do it? I could do so many. Yeah, that's it. I just got to go. Okay.
Starting point is 01:05:38 Yeah, I mean, name it. I mean, that's a big bid. Does he have to spell them? Yes. He has to spell them, Yes. He has to spell them and he also has to say the birth date of each actor. All he's got to do is name eight people that were
Starting point is 01:05:53 in Ghostbusters. Go. Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Ernie Hudson Rick Moranis Annie Potts Sigourney Weaver
Starting point is 01:06:12 and William Atherton that is correct nice nice nice very nice yes it's true that man has no dick. Nice.
Starting point is 01:06:31 Now do the same thing for the new one. Who was ninth? That's why I don't imagine anybody would be able to pull that ninth name because I don't even remember this dude being in the movie. And I've seen Ghostbusters a lot. Reginald Vell Johnson. In Ghostbusters? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:56 Oh, fuck. According to Leonard. He was the Marshmallow Man. No. I don't know. Slimer? I don't think he's in that movie. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:04 I mean, obviously he's from Family Matters and Die Hard Die Hard, yeah, and William Atherton But Leonard Liston in it He's just got like a couple lines or something Cop He's a cop! Why do you guys keep saying lines from Reservoir Dogs?
Starting point is 01:07:22 Alright, congratulations to Jeff Tate He won the first point reverse malting. First reverse malting point. Somebody on the internet, keep track of that. That was so exciting. That was exciting. I like this. Yeah, this game is working out nicely. Good job, Neil Blumpkin.
Starting point is 01:07:40 Blumpkin! There's no way that's his real name. No one's name is Neil. Yeah, Blumpkins are usually... Blumpkins are usually how you really know they like you. Yeah. What? It's a sex thing and it's gross.
Starting point is 01:07:56 It's gross! It's like a hot Carl. Gross is subjective. Sometimes it isn't Sometimes it's just gross And you're like I like it anyway Just like the Leonard Moulton game We're playing to two points
Starting point is 01:08:13 And we have a fun tiebreaker If it comes down to that Mark Wahlberg gets to go first in the next round Followed by Graham and then Jeff Jeff Mark Wahlberg Yes sir followed by Graham, and then Jeff. Jeff. Mark Wahlberg. Yes, sir.
Starting point is 01:08:30 Which one of these would you like to play? Oceans 11, Oceans 12, or Oceans 13? Man, when we play this game, any guests of mine that get high before this show are going to be fucked. It's a real brain teaser. Which one of those do you want to do? Let's go Ocean's Eleven, 1964. I'm sorry, I forgot to say the year.
Starting point is 01:09:04 Well, sometimes I do. 2001 is the one that I'm talking about. Okay. Do you still want it? Yeah, let's do it. All right. Two stars from Leonard. He says this movie. Oh, what?
Starting point is 01:09:17 He lists. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve. Names. Okay. So that's interesting. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12 names. So that's interesting. How many names can you name Mark Wahlberg? Out of 12? Is that your bid, 12? Out of 12. Uh-huh bid, 12? No, sir. Out of 12.
Starting point is 01:09:47 Let's see. There's that dude that's not as good as me. There's that dude that's not as good as me. There's a lot of dudes that aren't as good as me. One, two, three. I'll go six. He says six names, Graham. Six out of 12.
Starting point is 01:10:11 Ocean's 11. Seven. Seven. Jeff. Nine. Nine. Mark, you made a little jump there Also, I should mention We've got to do a reasonable time limit on this You can't sit and think about it for forever
Starting point is 01:10:32 When you're guessing Go ahead and name it, brother Alright If he gets it We might have a winner Then he's going to be our winner The first ever reverse malting Nine out of twelve...
Starting point is 01:10:46 Oh, you don't get to count. Names. Do you think it's cheating using your fingers? I got your name tag. You hold your hands up and you count them off for me. You put your hands down under like I did to Reese. You fucking... What?
Starting point is 01:11:03 Remember and fear on the roller coaster. You just hide those fingers. Son of a bitch beat me to the joke. I was going to do it different. I always win, Jack. George Clooney. Of course. Brad Pitt.
Starting point is 01:11:20 Julia Roberts. Andy Garcia. Casey Affleck Scott Kahn Elliot Gould Bernie Mac Yeah Don't fuck You keep your fucking mouth shut
Starting point is 01:11:38 I can hear names Why are you saying names Why would you say any names Shut the fuck up Carl Reiner Who said I didn't are you saying names? Carl Reiner. Why would you say any names? Carl Reiner. Shut the fuck up. Carl Reiner. Who said? I didn't hear anything. I was yelling Carl Reiner.
Starting point is 01:11:49 To be fair, nobody said that name. Carl Reiner. That's nine? Yeah. You did it. Yeah. You left out Eddie Jemison and Shabu Quinn. And Matt Damon.
Starting point is 01:12:14 The acrobat guy. And who else did he leave out? Don fucking Cheadle. Matt Damon. Don Cheadle. Cheadle. Wait a second. Cheeds isn't in this list. No, no, no, no.
Starting point is 01:12:29 John Cheetle is not listed in the credits. He's unbilled? Yeah, yeah. It's something weird. Yeah, yeah. So the one you missed was the villain, Andy Garcia. I said Andy Garcia. Well, so who did he miss then?
Starting point is 01:12:42 Matt Damon? Matt Damon. I missed Matt Damon. Matt Damon? Matt Damon. I miss Matt Damon. Matt Damon. Matt Damon. Matt Damon. Matt Damon. Team America.
Starting point is 01:12:55 It is fucking Team America. Jeff, I don't know how shitty your life is, but this might be the greatest one of all time. No, my life is pretty great. I got to watch Ocean's Eleven a few times. Yeah, you really nailed that. Let's play one more round just for fun. But Jeff is our winner.
Starting point is 01:13:16 Nice job. And Magic Megan. Oh, wait, who are you playing for, Jeff? Oh, the guy right up front. Give him the prizes. There you go, Bushwood. See your future may, may, make, make
Starting point is 01:13:36 your future. What's your name, sir? Anthony. Yeah, let me tell you something, Anthony. If you go out onto the street tonight here in downtown San Diego, and you know how it gets a little rowdy sometimes, there's a little drunken activity on the street, just take downtown San Diego, and you know how it gets a little rowdy sometimes, there's a little drunken activity on the street, just take that bag I just gave you that's got that man candle in there and just fucking swing it around, and you'll take on all comers.
Starting point is 01:13:57 Yeah, dude. Look out some tourists. Yeah. And the other guys, pass me your name tags, because I'm sure they have shitheads on the back, because this is a very professional crowd. I think you have my donut bag. Professional crowd.
Starting point is 01:14:06 Oh, I threw the donut bag into the... Does it have a shithead on it? Yeah. Pass it up. Could you bring it back? Please walk the donut bag to the front of the room, please. The donut bag. I thought this said Jew for a second.
Starting point is 01:14:19 I was like, wow, what a weird thing to write on a... Yeah, I went for that one. All right. Where are all the juice at? That's fucked up. Not cool. All right, so... We'll start with Graham and go to Mark
Starting point is 01:14:35 with just one more fun round of the game, and I think this one will be particularly fun because we're at Comic-Con, and Graham is wearing that shirt. Which one would you like to do, Graham? Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, or The Dark Knight Rises? Which one
Starting point is 01:14:52 can you name more names? Let's do The Dark Knight Rises. Okay. Leonard Lists. Eight names. How many of them can you name
Starting point is 01:15:08 Graham Elwood for fun? He's thinking about it. I could name them all, but I'm looking right at it. I'm just trying to think who's listed and who isn't. Right. That's the tricky part about this game. I will go six. He says he can do six of them, Mark. Now, why was it again that you're not Batman in these new Batman movies? Well, I don't like wearing that fucking suit, dude. So you turned it down before they took it to bail?
Starting point is 01:16:02 Yeah, me and Josh Hartnett. Hartnett was in the mix? He fucking turned that shit down. Lucky Number Slevin could have gotten that? He fucking turned that shit down. Penny Dreadful could have been Batman? He turned it down, too. Oh, interesting. He moved to Minnesota just to get away.
Starting point is 01:16:12 Why are you giving Graham clues? What? What? You just said Bale. Now he knows Krishna Bale was in that movie. Oh. Yeah, I'm sorry. That's a good point.
Starting point is 01:16:25 That's a good fucking point. I know this round is just for funsies, but... And he also knows that Josh Hartnett is not in it. I know. Or Mark Wahlberg. Or Mark Wahlberg. That's a lot of help, you're right. That really narrows it down.
Starting point is 01:16:35 No, he just knows I'm not Batman in it. Six out of eight. Do you think you could do more, Mark Wahlberg? Maybe I was in it. Mark Wahlberg as Bane, everybody. You don't know if I was in it. You know nothing. You're also great as Mad Max in the scenes
Starting point is 01:17:03 where he has a mask on. Yes. How many, Mark? Okay. Donnie D on the backup. Drug free, so put the crack up. Come on. Feel it. Feel it. Feel it.
Starting point is 01:17:19 Yo. It's about that time to bring forth the rhythm and the rhyme. That sounds like real robot Bane. You get yours, I'll get mine. Is this what Blade Runner's about? It doesn't sound like Bane at all.
Starting point is 01:17:38 Feel it. Feel it. Yeah. All right. What is it, Mark? You're going to bid more or you're going to ask him? Fuck that shit. I got to let the dude who plays for Team Batman do it.
Starting point is 01:17:49 Okay. Name it, Mark. Graham, name six of the eight people that are in Dark Knight Rises. Bushwood, give me a count. Here we go, Bushwood. Gary Oldman. Good with the count. Michael Caine.
Starting point is 01:18:03 Morgan Freeman. Christian Bale. Tom Hardy. Show me the five. Don't fucking hide the fucking... You got to earn it, bro. Now, this is where I know I'm just trying to figure out who... Right.
Starting point is 01:18:25 My right. I don't know how to pronounce her name, but... Well... Well... I don't know what's wrong with people. Why would you say anything out loud? You don't get to have sex with me. I don't know how to pronounce her last...
Starting point is 01:18:42 Yeah, sex with Mark Wahlberg is off the table. Off the table for you. And that goes for the men, too. You could, I mean... Well, I mean, I know Liam Neeson is in it because he has a flashback in it, but... Wait, what? Yeah, when he's in the prison. So that counts.
Starting point is 01:19:00 Are you thinking about Empire Strikes Back? He's not in Empire Strikes Back. You're thinking of the other three, the shitty ones. Oh, I got it. Okay, all right. Slam Evil, right? That's from that movie, right? Graham, you got five.
Starting point is 01:19:22 Give us one more. Well, what's it? Mary Courtier? I don't know how to pronounce her last name, but got five. Give us one more. Well, what's Mary Courtier? I don't know how to pronounce her last name, but that chick. The chick who plays Ra's al Ghul's daughter that stabs him. Okay. And Liam Neeson. I mean, I'll put Liam Neeson in there. I don't know if he's listening.
Starting point is 01:19:37 You can't put more in there. You've got to get exactly six. And I'm not going to hold it against you because we're not even playing for anything that you can't pronounce Marion Cotillard. But yeah, she's in it and you are correct. Liam Neeson has a considerably smaller part
Starting point is 01:19:58 than Joseph Gordon-Levitt. And who was the other one you didn't get? Morgan Freeman? Oh my God. Please, no. Do not. She's like fucking Beetlejuice. Do not say her name three fucking times.
Starting point is 01:20:12 My God. Are you for real? She's like, say it. Do it. Do it. Do not. I said Morgan Freeman. Yeah, I didn't say Anne Hathaway.
Starting point is 01:20:19 Anne Hathaway, yeah. Anne Hathaway, Gary Oldman. I did say Gary Oldman. Yeah, yeah. So the ones you missed were Anne Hathaway and Joseph Gordon-Levitt And good job, Graham Hey, Doug Yeah
Starting point is 01:20:30 You done did it Doug And Graham, you get to plug your shit first That's a weird way of putting it You get to Bring out your butt plugs Yeah, the L.A. Podfest, September 18th through 20th, lapodfest.com.
Starting point is 01:20:49 You can get a weekend pass for $100. Sir, come see me after the show. I'll give you your stuff. And, of course, all my tour dates, my podcast, Comedy Film Nerds, Twitter, all that stuff, grahamelwood.com. Thank you so much, San Diego. I love coming to here.
Starting point is 01:21:01 GrahamElwood.com. Thank you so much, San Diego. I love coming here. Mark, what's coming up for you? Can I ask you a question? What? Do you want to do a line? Do you have time? I guess so.
Starting point is 01:21:16 The show's over. I don't know what you're doing. I just wanted to do one with you. This is the part where I'm wrapping it up. Okay, we'll wrap it up. But give us one more line. You got your nickname from the dog? You got your nickname from the dog?
Starting point is 01:21:33 Fievel. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. It is Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Yeah, somebody in the audience got it. There used to be fucking rules to this game. Okay. What do you mean? What's happening now?
Starting point is 01:21:42 You're going to do another one? No, I'm going to plug my shit, bro. Oh, okay. Check out Ballers. I'm EPing that shit on HBO Is that for real? Yeah, dude No wonder it's so much like Entourage You know why I did it? Because I just fucking love Corddry I was like, I'll make a fucking show
Starting point is 01:21:58 I fucking love Rob Corddry That motherfucker, I told him I'm like, dude, you tell me what you want to wear your suit and be rich, I'll fucking build a show around it. Okay, the other thing I got fucking going on, Wahlburgers 2. Why have you not eaten there? That's what we're calling the fucking season. Go fucking check that out. And then tomorrow, dropping
Starting point is 01:22:16 on iTunes, another fucking episode of the fucking Wahlburg solution. You guys fucking check that shit out. Anne Hathaway's back, because I fucking hate myself. And Michael Caine and John Roy and Reba fucking McIntyre, so check that shit out. Anne Hathaway's back because I fucking hate myself. And Michael Caine and John Roy and Reba fucking McIntyre. So check that shit out. All of them are going to be on there? They're all on it.
Starting point is 01:22:31 Drops tomorrow on iTunes. They were all in the Dark Knight Rises. No, they weren't. I've never seen the movie. Reba was in fucking... Reba was in Trummers, dude. Yeah. Jeff Tate, our winner today.
Starting point is 01:22:45 Congratulations. We'll see you back on the show soon. All you guys will be back soon, but what else have you got going on, Jeff? I'm at Go Bananas in Cincinnati July 9th through 12th. That's right, tomorrow, today, if you're not here.
Starting point is 01:23:01 Like, if you're here and you're leaving for some reason, going there, come see me. Next week, St. Louis, Westport, Funny Bone, 15 through 19. I got a big tour this fall. Hit me up on my website, justanotherclown.com. I'm going fucking everywhere. Chicago, Nashville, everywhere.
Starting point is 01:23:18 Philadelphia, New York, Boston. That's everywhere. Portland. Yeah. Albuquerque. Yeah, you're going to be at the Guild Theater in Albuquerque. Guild Cinema. Yeah, okay, cinema.
Starting point is 01:23:28 I think that guy's going to let me pick what movie we watch after. And you're leaning towards? It's like, I told you Big Trouble in Little China, but then I remembered I really want to see Midnight Run also on a big screen. Oh, yeah, Midnight Run's great. That might be fun, too. Maybe The Truth About Charlie? No. Maybe. Maybe.
Starting point is 01:23:48 Maybe. I mean, if we can't get those other two or any of the other things I choose, Truth About Charlie. Be right up there, man. All right. Oh, I forgot to... I'm headlining the Hollywood Improv August 29th. August 29th, if you're in Hollywood,
Starting point is 01:24:03 go see Graham Elwood, Jeff Tate, Mark Wahlberg. Thank you guys. Have a great Comic Con. And as always, a certain dude who has an affinity for Jell-O, Pudding Pops, and Quaaludes is a shithead.
Starting point is 01:24:37 I put your name tag on the floor if you want to come back and get it. I don't think the person who brought this bag, Jen, is going to want that back. And she was... It's so nice. She don't think the person who brought this bag, Jen, is going to want that back. And she was, it's so nice. She even wrote on the back of the donut bag, shithead, don't read until the end. The Hall H line is a shithead.
Starting point is 01:24:56 Yeah! Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you because Doug loves movies.

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