Doug Loves Movies - "Mark Wahlberg," Tony Hinchcliffe, Brian Redban, and Sarah Tiana Guest
Episode Date: June 22, 2014Live from The NerdMelt Showroom in LA, Doug welcomes comedians Tony Hinchcliffe and Sarah Tiana, podcaster Brian Redban, and fan-favorite "Mark Wahlberg" to the show.See Privacy Policy at htt...ps://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Doug hates candy wrappers screening baby sticky seeds
With 50 azipop or kernels in his teeth
They're still not warm, then he won't sleep
Cause Doug loves movies applause applause applause
applause
laughter
laughter
laughter
laughter
laughter
laughter
laughter
laughter
applause applause Yeah, why all that silence, podcast listeners?
Because I just showed them something awesome.
Hey everybody, my name is Doug and I love movies!
This is God Loves Movies!
Might have been the most aggressive one I've heard.
Maybe it's the low ceiling
because we're coming to you once again.
It's been a while, but glad to be back
at the Nerd Melt Theater
in the back of Meltdown Comics in Hollywood
where on a screen in the comic book store
the score of the football game is 1-1.
Yeah.
The score of the football game is 1-1.
Did I mention we're in Hollywood?
The California one, not the Florida one.
On Sunday, June 22nd, 2014,
Wolf of Wall Street fight Terminator 2,
Judgment Day of the Deadman,
Walking Tall, The President's Men,
and Blackfisher, King Ralph,
The Dog Day Afternoon Delight Sleep Perfect Murder by
Death Wish 3, Amigos
Worlds, and
of Watch.
At
420-ish!
We're here. There's an exciting
soccer game going on, and
yet we're all just huddled in the back of a comic book store.
Thank you for being a sold-out crowd today.
It's extremely encouraging.
When it's free over at UCB, there are empty seats some weeks.
And you guys, you had to fucking pay, and you filled the place.
I don't know what's happening anymore.
Is it because it's Sunday
afternoon is better for you guys?
Okay, but what about during football
season?
That's what I thought.
Tomorrow night, Getting Doug with
High, live at Largo. It's happening
again. Five great guests, probably
Sarah Silverman, smoking on stage.
I don't like to give away the guests
on these shows, but in this case
I just did.
We're going to be smoking on stage
in front of the audience
that comes out tomorrow night.
And you can watch the live feed at 9.15
Pacific Standard Time
on YouTube.com slash Doug Benson.
Tuesday night.
There's so much going on here in L.A.
this particular week.
Tuesday night, Douglas Movies at CineFamily.
We are going to do Douglas Movies
with people that are featured in the documentary
I Am Road comic,
and it's going to be followed by the West Coast premiere
of that film.
So that's Tuesday night,
and there's still some tickets available for that. That's going to be a lot
of fun. Thursday,
June 26th, I'm doing a late night
stand-up show at Go Bananas.
And I will.
In Cincinnati, Ohio.
DouglasMovies.com for all
the dates and deets and links.
Last Sunday, Father's Day, we did
Douglas Movies in Kansas City.
Terrific crowd. Like, 240 people came out.
It was super fun.
But it is now officially a lost episode.
Yeah.
Unfortunately, the folks recording the show there just did a weird job.
And so that's right, Ryan, right?
We're never going to release it?
Yeah.
Okay.
He doesn't think so. He's right, Ryan, right? We're never going to release it? Okay, he doesn't think so.
He's going to love that.
Like, there's a little window right there, and he has the headphones on.
I really felt like I was part of a professional.
Like, we're making something here.
All right, so that happened.
And apologies to Jacob Serov, Chris Cubis, and Keshe Levy.
I'll have all of them back on again soon.
There was a really fun panel.
Jacob and I got into an argument
about whether or not James Bond,
whether or not the movie Never Say Never Again
is a James Bond movie.
He says it's not
because it was made by outside
individuals and wasn't part of the people
that have made every other James Bond movie.
And I was like, but it's a fucking movie
about James Bond.
Played by Sean Connery.
So it's a fucking James Bond movie.
It got heated.
Nobody will ever hear it.
On May 15th of this calendar year,
we did a Doug Loves Movies at
Los Angeles.
I almost said Los Angeles. Los Angeles, Nevada.
No, in Las Vegas.
And not only
was the venue
weird and
non-air-conditioned
in Vegas
Yeah, no air-conditioning.
They had a huge fan like there was going to be
some sort of animal show and there was going to be
a falcon trick.
So,
bottom line is,
when we did the show at that venue,
they not only,
we don't even know if they recorded it,
but if they did, they haven't sent it to us.
And refused to answer our calls
and texts.
And so, fuck those guys.
I mean, I think it's just
like one guy is responsible for all of it
but he was tough to get a hold of
just trying to arrange things for
the gig in the first place.
Very scattered individual
I think.
So in lieu of that, because that
happened and because I have already apologized to the three guests that were on that day, but I put together this special Sunday afternoon show so that we can do our best to recreate the Las Vegas episode.
And so far, you guys are a great crowd.
So I think we're just going to word for word do the exact same show.
Please welcome Sarah Tiana, Tony Hinchcliffe,
and Brian Redband.
Thank you, Brian.
Yay. Is that the order you guys sat in in Vegas?
Did you just naturally sit in the same order again?
I think we sat in the order that you call this out in.
Oh, really?
No.
Not intentionally.
Yeah.
No.
Yeah, I said Brian third.
I said Brian third, Sarah.
Oh, sorry. You're not high or drunk today, right, I said Brian third. I did. I said Brian third, Sarah. Oh, sorry.
You're not high or drunk today, right?
I know.
She was both in Vegas, and it's hard to recreate that at 420 in the afternoon on a Sunday.
Yeah.
One week from Father's Day.
But I do have a Slurpee.
Okay.
Which gets me going.
So, yeah, you'll have a nice energy the whole time.
And what did you bring for the prize thingy?
It's a whole family package so it's a cookbook called
How to Feed Your Family.
It's the movie The Kid Stays in the Picture
and keeping with the family theme
there is a CD of
all the pictures from Schindler's List.
Keep your family together despite the things that happen
okay
oh and here's the book
it's huge and heavy so enjoy carrying that around
for the rest of your day
whoever wins today
and yeah
so I don't think I've done it yet
round of applause for Sarah Tiana for coming out
and for
bringing this stuff.
And then, of course, Brian Redman is here, everybody.
Brian Redman.
Oh, my God.
Who brought...
Just brought a shit ton of Death Squad stuff
with the kitty with the Hitler mustache.
Chaplin.
It's a Charlie Chaplin.
Oh, okay.
Charlie Chaplin in the...
Brought you some shirts, stickers.
What was the movie where he played Hitler?
I forgot the fucking title.
The Great Dictator.
Motherfucker.
What's that, Brian?
You guys fucking switched.
That was like a magic trick.
They're both wearing the same shirt.
The next time I turn away,
I hope there's not a tiger on stage.
Okay, so it's a cat with a
not a good mustache.
And I've got facial hair on my shirt.
My Douglas Movie shirt is in here.
And also,
oh, there's some Death Squad posters.
Oh, nice try, guys.
Nice try,
switcheroo brothers.
I brought a t-shirt
from the... We gave one away
on the Douglas Movies in
Kansas City. That's a lost episode.
But it's for Fountain City Roller Derby,
which is a local roller derby
people, group, team.
And we did a benefit
for them while we were in
Kansas City. And then also
a chameleon glass
gave me a
brown camouflage hat,
which is great to wear when you're smoking in public.
People are like,
that dude's smoking so hard
he doesn't have a top of his head.
Check this thing out.
Pass that down to Brian,
and Brian, open it up.
It's a little wooden box with a pipe in it,
but it's magnetic, so you just pull straight up,
and it's four magnets hold it together.
It's pretty nice.
It's got a one-hitter in it. Yeah, yeah. And it's got magnets hold it together. It's pretty nice. It's got a one hitter in it.
Yeah, yeah. And it's got a name on there.
What's it called?
It's the Kindtray.
Kindtray.com
The Chameleon Glass folks
mailed me that so I'm sure that those are available
on their site and at their store
in Scottsdale. And also
two hot dogs from Pop's Hot Dogs
keeping themdale. And also two hot dogs from Pop's Hot Dogs. Keeping them coming.
And
from Brian, he said it was
on his bedside table for like
several months. A package
of Hubba Bubba.
New mystery
flavor. That's fucked up.
I bet.
You mean old mystery flavor.
I love a gum where I'm not sure what flavor it's going to be.
Yeah, you just put something in your mouth and you're like, I don't know what this is going to taste like.
Let's start chewing.
That happens to me all the time.
I don't know what this is going to taste like.
I hope it's good.
The flavor's extra mysterious after being...
He's talking about a penis.
It's so early for that.
Okay.
And Tony Hinchcliffe is here.
Tony Hinchcliffe, everybody.
Thank you.
And he
contributed this lovely item
that contributed to that silence
at the top of the show
when I was trying to show it
to everybody.
It's a beautiful
Adidas tracksuit,
but it's Star Wars themed.
It's true.
And it has a Stormtrooper face
on it. This is perhaps the worst angles
that you could show of the jacket.
Just give it to me.
On one side, it says
the Force is strong with this
one, and on the other side, you're representing
the Stormtrooper, because
we're all darksiders, right? We all believe
on the Sith side. Screw those Jedis.
It's an Adidas Star Wars track jacket.
Thank you very much. I didn't realize
I didn't realize
it wouldn't get that big
of an applause.
I thought, wow, they're really gonna
like this.
And then,
You guys are gonna, whoever wins this
is really gonna cherish it.
But until that time,
I'm going to use it to wipe the sweat from my brow.
Because it's hot in here.
I don't remember what you guys said in Vegas,
but we went through and I asked you
if you'd seen any movies lately,
so you can go ahead and update your answer on that.
Oh, I saw Maleficent.
How'd you like that?
I loved it. Really? I thought it was... I didn't know. I was like,ent. How'd you like that? I loved it.
Really? I didn't know. I was like, oh, this will
be cute. And it was amazing.
It's dark. It's very dark.
Angelina Jolie is
so incredible in that movie.
She just has one line that just slayed
me. The girl's like,
oh, I know who you are. You're my fairy
godmother. And it just pauses and she's
like, what?
And I was like, that's the most amazing line ever.
Just the way she did it, I was like,
no one else could have done it like that.
What?
Let's try to use it in our everyday lives.
I brought you guys the Star Wars jacket.
What?
The audience kind of did that.
I know.
What?
If you guys aren't excited about the jacket,
let me tell you, it's also a mystery flavor.
So maybe that'll excite you.
Taste it.
I guarantee you, you won't know
what that tastes like. Does it glow
in the dark? Because it looks like the back glows
in the dark. You know what happened is, by the way, it's the
sweetest jacket ever. It's just that I got it
and they made it...
It's really Swedish.
They made it, you know, I could tell
Adidas got a little bit biased because they made it
like chubbier. You know what I mean?
They assumed that the Star Wars fan would be a little
bit wider. So when I wear
it, it fits perfectly except for in the middle
it's like extra floppy. But by the looks
of this crowd, I think it's going to fit somebody
perfectly.
I'm a little bit roasty, guys.
Sorry.
I would
never not wear something I
liked because it was too big on me.
That's the direction I...
I can have that error.
I can go in that direction.
I just don't want something that's too tight.
Is to have something that's a little bit looser
around the middle.
Like, yeah, look at this.
Well, you know, when you're properly fit,
it's a different thing.
Well, I don't know what that's like.
You want some of my Slurpee?
Tony, have you been to the movies?
I have. I recently
I'm pretty sure the last movie I saw was Godzilla.
I was very disappointed because they made Godzilla
so likable looking.
It made his face all round
and it really just looks like a big
Barney instead of the intimidating
monster that he was supposed to be.
And also, I feel like the throwbacks
when they made Godzilla,
when they called back to the old movies,
it was just terrible
because they had this Asian scientist guy
and they make a reveal at one point,
but he's speaking perfect English
until they want him to call back to the old movies.
So there's a part where he's like,
and we won't know how to kill him
and we don't know how to get him.
Well, who is this guy?
He goes by the name of Godzilla.
Like he goes from zero to 100 Japanese in no time.
He might as well have just been like,
I believe his name is Godzilla.
Godzilla, I was born there.
I triggered you.
You think I speak English?
I do not.
What?
Brian, you got any goodies?
Movies?
Not since Vegas when I saw Neighbors.
But I saw A Life of Pie finally today in my bed.
You've been living a life of pie for a long time.
No wonder you didn't get out of your bed.
That movie's fucking terrifying.
Well, I've had a 3D TV for the longest time, and I was at Best Buy last night.
I was like, you know what?
I've never used this, so I'm going to buy a 3D movie.
So I was so excited.
Last night, my glasses weren't charged up.
And then one of them were broke.
It was just, I had a panic attack because I couldn't get my 3D TV to work.
So this morning, I woke up, smoked a joint, put my glasses on because I got charged overnight,
and just sat there in a puddle watching that fucking movie.
That's a great movie.
It's beautiful.
When there's like three animals and him on the boat and they're all
running around,
what the fuck
is going to happen?
Yeah.
So intense.
What's the tiger's name?
It's Mr.
Richard Parker.
Richard Parker.
Yeah.
Richard Parker.
Richard Parker.
What?
There's a tiger
on your boat.
But there's a...
No matter how you feel about that movie, it's time! There's a tiger on your boat. No matter how you feel about that movie,
it's fine!
There's a weird part in it, though,
right where the tiger's about to pee on him.
I don't know if you remember,
he squirts and pisses all over that little kid.
He makes this weird face
that I don't know if it's supposed to be trippy,
but the tiger just goes,
like he makes a crazy face.
I bet you that's the last thing
Siegfried or Roy saw.
Before the...
I always forget which was Roy.
Anyway, Roy was the bottom.
Siegfried had the fucked up face.
I've totally forgotten what movies I've seen,
but there's some good ones out there,
so check out a movie, you guys.
I have to see Edge of Tomorrow.
Everybody keeps saying that that's amazing.
I liked it.
I just wish that I didn't know one thing about it
before I saw it.
I thought it would have been more surprising and interesting,
but I'm not going to say that one thing out loud,
even though it's in every review,
because hopefully you'll just go and see it
and not worry about it.
I think Doug Liman's one of my favorite directors.
I love Mr. and Mrs. Smith and Go and Swingers
and Born Identity, whichever one he did.
What?
Mr. and Mrs. Smith is the only movie I've ever walked out of.
Why? I don't know. Smith is the only movie I've ever walked out of why?
I don't know I was so bored by it
and now whenever
I try to watch it on TV
I fall asleep
you love
I think it's
her best movie
but Maleficent's
probably her second
best movie
but Angelina Jolie
is so kick ass
in Mr. and Mrs. Smith
and then
and then Brad Pitt
kicks her in the stomach
several times
isn't that how you get pregnant? it's just fucked up that's what I was told it's just a fucked up through Mrs. Smith. And then Brad Pitt kicks her in the stomach several times.
Isn't that how you get pregnant?
It's just fucked up. That's what I was told.
It's just a fucked up way for a couple to meet.
Spending every day on the set trying to kill each other.
But then, as you know, they get along at the end.
So that's what I recommend.
Anything by Doug Liman except for Jumper.
Don't fuck around with that.
The only movie I ever walked out on was Bandits.
Have you ever seen that?
Oh, the Bruce Willis with the long hair?
Yeah.
Luxurious-haired Bruce Willis?
It's so bad.
And Billy Bob probably had a weird wig, too.
It was a weird wig show.
USA won.
Which one?
USA won it, you guys.
Yeah!
People listening to this tomorrow are gonna
fucking flip out.
I saw the guys in the sound room
celebrating, so I felt like that was...
Because the whole show, when people listen to this tomorrow,
they're gonna be like, we know what happened.
Who cares? It's still kind of exciting
when the news comes.
Maybe there'll be one guy in Portugal that doesn't have cable that's like,
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Of course you don't!
What?
What?
That's the part of the show where I say,
Let the games begin.
Gentlemen and lady, some of the folks here today brought name tags for your selection process.
More people than on Tuesday nights at UCB.
So, suck on that for a while.
Oh, that's smart.
Somebody's putting a light on there.
Yeah, they shine lights on them sometimes.
It's trickery.
Smart. But it can work.
There's something... I don't know what's going on over there in that corner. It's like a whole
fucking samurai sword
situation.
But while they pick their name tags, we'll take a quick
break. We'll be right back.
We're back!
You did it, you guys!
It's a hot one, but you still win in the crowd.
Now, Sarah, don't forget about the shithead on the back.
I don't care if people see it, but just don't say it out loud.
And let's start with Brian.
Who are you playing for?
I'm playing for...
I don't even know.
Can you say it?
What's your name, person who gave him that?
Aldrin.
Aldrin? It says Ald? Aldrin. Aldrin?
It says Aldrin Tender.
Aldrin what?
Tender?
Aldrin.
Nintendo?
Aldrin Tendo.
He did like a build a title with his name and Nintendo,
and it's on some sort of, how would you even describe that?
It's an old NES cartridge with two hands and two feet and a joint,
and it says Doug Loves Moody as the video game.
It's pretty badass.
Did you make that?
Where did you get that from?
Oh, you bought it at a con, and then you made a sticker of Doug Loves Moody
and put it on there.
Nice work.
And it's Aldrin.
I'm saying it right?
Like the astronaut?
Buzz.
Buzz Aldrin.
All right.
Tony, you grabbed the samurai sword that I saw being flailed around the back of the room.
I was worried for lives.
And it's Kill Zack, it says on there.
I'm playing for Zack.
And Zack, did you have any idea that Tony, who hosts Kill Tony with Brian Redband, would be here today?
Yeah, I heard your hint.
You heard I gave hints?
You gave hints.
Okay.
I don't know what I do sometimes.
What was your hint?
I gave hints, all right.
I got blackout drunk, gave some hints.
What?
But that's cool, so you figured that out,
because there is a samurai sword on the table of Kill Tony.
And there's little ponies on it, because they know that he's a brony.
Well, no, that's actually not.
I'm the golden pony.
That's my nickname.
Oh, okay.
And you are still doing that every Monday night at the Comedy Store?
Every Monday night.
Freezies to get in?
It's a live, successful podcast.
You buy cocktails while you watch it?
Yeah.
It's a free show every Monday at 8.
Who's the sidekick now
that you got rid of that other fella?
We rotate new patriots each week.
So we always have a different...
In the same outfit?
Kind of. I created an outfit
off of Amazon.
Friday night we did an episode from the Ice House
with Joe Rogan and Dom Irera.
That was off the chain, I bet. It was unbelievable.
Sold out. The energy was insane. And bet. It was unbelievable. Sold out.
The energy was insane.
And the sidekick was played by Jesus Christ.
Kevin Lee Light.
And he killed it.
It was awesome.
So when is that going to be available?
What's that plot?
2015.
Wow, suspenseful.
Now, there's not a shithead on this. And the last time I played, there wasn't a shithead.
And I was disappointed.
Well, first of all, if you win,
it won't matter, but if you lose, we'll have
Zach come down here and take his sword
back and
tell us who we should call
a shithead. Brian, who are you playing for?
Oh, I already talked to you. Sorry. Sarah. Hello.
Hi. I'm playing for
Steph. It says Steph up.
Steph up. To the streets.
Yeah, Steph up to the streets.
She put her face on there. That's how it's
pronounced. Yeah. Steph up to.
And you announced proudly as you picked that
that you love Step Up. I love Step Up.
Channing Tatum was in the first one.
I like the second one.
I've watched the third one. I like all dance movies.
I like all dance movies.
I like movies where people dance.
I like any movies where animals talk
and any movies where black people rise above
through extracurricular activities.
Those are all my three favorites.
I gotta say, I enjoy all of those genres.
Maybe not every single film in those genres.
The Talking Animals one,
that's hard to be a completist.
Yeah.
Because I can't get through another saga of the cats and dogs.
Oh.
But they pick and pick.
What about Talking Babies?
Do you watch like Baby Geniuses?
Yeah, or like Look Who's Talking was always great.
Sure.
Yeah.
That was a good movie.
We got one woo in the back.
I know.
It's just me and that guy in the theater.
Hope they're going to play the second one after this.
Yeah, me too.
Did they really make three step-ups?
No, the fifth one's coming out this summer.
The fifth one?
I think so.
Well, the third one was probably 3D.
This might be the fourth one, but it's also in 3D.
3D?
3D dancing.
The trailer makes it look great.
I mean, the story's terrible and the acting's bad,
but the dancing's great.
Sarah, if you ever want to watch the 3D one in bed with me,
we can.
What?
Nice one, Tony.
I know, it was you.
I like to have fun with the listeners.
They don't know what's happening
like this next segment confuses the listeners
a great deal and it tickles me
because I can't believe we keep
getting him to come back
you'd think he'd be too busy
he couldn't join us in Vegas
but people are so excited
it's time to do some lines with Mark
yeah It's time to do some lines with Mark. Yeah!
All right, so... Hey, Mark.
How you doing, dog? You doing good?
I'm doing good.
You guys want to do some fucking lines or what?
Yes.
People are more excited about you coming out here than the FIFA.
Yeah, who's the dude who fucking jinxed that shit?
Because they just drawed, motherfucker.
They didn't win, so.
Oh, that's what happened?
Yeah. They fucking scored in the final minute.
So the listeners tomorrow are going to have a good laugh over all of us thinking
that they had won. No, they didn't fucking win.
They're the opposite of me.
Mark Wahlberg comes in
and sets us straight. I love it.
Story of my life, Brian.
So Sarah, Tony, and
Brian, just yell it out
as soon as you recognize it.
Mark's going to say a line
from a classic
or maybe a classic to him
motion picture,
and then you just
yell out the answer
when you think you know it.
First one to get it right.
And it could be any movie, right?
Not just one that you say.
It could be any movie, Sarah.
Okay.
But it can't be things
that are not movies.
Want to do a fucking line?
Yeah, all right.
All right, here we go.
Ready?
Look good, feel good.
Look good, feel good.
James Francis Ryan?
Your brothers were killed in combat
Saving Private Ryan
it is Saving Private Ryan
who says that line in the movie
the fucking dude from the burbs
Tom Hanks
he looks like walking claymation
the great Larry Crown
I like to say
um
everybody loves Tom Hanks
you
you've worked with him
or no
no
everything that I get
offered he's in
I turn down
but he's always there
first
or he
you had to
no they come to me
they get him
obviously
and then they're like
Mark you want to be in this? I'm like,
mm-mm.
I saw Forrest Gump. That dude can't think right.
Well, too good.
Well, thank you, Mark. I know we might
you might pop in again from time to time
during the show, but... You know what? Fuck it. I'm just gonna stay.
You know what?
Maybe you might want to take that sweater off It's pretty fucking hot in here, Mark
I'm rocking 2% body fat
I feel fucking great
It's breezy in here
I'm gonna fucking play
Alright, is that alright with you guys?
Can Mark stay and compete against you?
Why not, right?
Hey, give me a fucking name tag
You've got a fucking name tag
You, you're close
What is this? You've got a fucking name tag. You've got a fucking name tag. You, you're close.
What is this, like a half-naked John Ritter?
It's Cameron Diaz.
Not on the face, bro.
The face.
Not on the face.
The body.
The body is Cameron Diaz and the face is that guy.
It looks very Zach Braffy in that picture.
Yeah, it does kind of look like that.
I'd hit it.
Can I get a fucking chair?
How about that stool right there? You want to just pull that over?
Yeah, that'll work. Thanks, brother.
You're lucky I was around.
Well, yeah,
I'm always amazed that you have time for any of this.
Well,
why were you in town?
I live up the fucking hills.
House number four.
For the last hour I've been helping Donnie
chase a balloon.
So we're fucking
coming down Fuller and then we get up to sunset
and I see this and I'm like Donnie, I got a thing.
And then he was like, do you care if I keep going after the balloon?
I'm like, take all week.
So good luck to Donnie.
All right, well, this shouldn't take all week,
but we do have a few games to play,
since this is a supersized edition of the show.
And I don Not unlike Vegas.
Do you guys love
that venue in Vegas?
I understand this.
Jesus.
Do they know what happened?
Do they know
the full extent
of how horrible
that place treated us
and the shit
that went down?
Well, it was funny
that after...
Oh, do you guys
get treated
like normal people?
That must suck.
No, we got treated
like weirdos.
Yeah, maybe we should
have Mark.
Next time you're in Vegas, you should straighten shit out. You got it, dude. I'll fucking go in there with a bat. Great. That must suck No we got Yeah maybe Maybe we should have Mark next time
You're in Vegas
You should straighten
Shit out
You got it dude
I'll fucking go in there
With a bat
Great
It'd be interesting
If you brought in a bat
And set it free
And it flapped around
Can't do much more
Damage to that place
It was pretty shady
And shitty already
It was
Yeah it was
It was considerably hotter
Than what we're
Experiencing right now
But you know
We give the meltdown A pass on this because melting is right there in the name.
But the fucking...
Which, first of all, when it's a billiards place, I think there's three tables.
But it's got a bar.
And they did get us drunk.
So for that, I'll be grateful.
But do you remember what we had to do to get drunk?
Because they kept on giving us these little shot glasses of mixed drinks.
And we had to, like, flag people down.
They gave us very tiny glasses.
They were like Dixie cups.
Yeah, we had to flag people down for drinks.
Yeah, let's call the shop, bro.
Just doing fucking shots.
Except there was ice cubes.
It was little mixed shots with an ice cube, yeah.
But then, you know, the air conditioning's not working.
But the show was fun.
We had a good time. And then, but then, you know, the air conditioner's not working, but the show was fun, we had a good time, and everything seemed
to work, but then
we just can't get them to respond
when saying, how about sending us the recording?
And then you guys did a stand-up show
the very next night there. The next day.
So what happened to you? The owner
was like, alright, meet us here
after the show at like
1.30 in the morning, and I'll pay you.
So we're just sitting here waiting. It was a 9 o'clock show, we were done at like 11.30 in the morning and I'll pay you. So we're just sitting here waiting.
It was a 9 o'clock show. We were done at like
11. So he's like,
wait around for the drop to get your money.
I'm driving, I'm driving. I'll be there at about
1, 1.30. So we're like, oh, we have to hang
out around this joint for
an hour and a half, which at the end of the long weekend was
exhausting. And then we
followed up at 2 a.m. and he's like,
I'm about another hour away. So 3 a.m. And then when he arrived at 2 a.m. And he's like, I'm about another hour away.
Oh.
So 3 a.m.
And then when he arrived at 3 a.m., you know, this giant shady looking motherfucker walks in.
You know, just like super shady.
Acts like we're not even there, by the way.
Yeah, for like 20 minutes.
And finally, I just went up and like, hey, I'm Brian.
We need to get out of here.
Can we get paid?
And he gives us like some of the cash.
And he goes, all right, tomorrow, when are you leaving? I'm like, around
noon. A minimal amount of the cash
by the way. Less cash than they possibly
could have received
from the show. Sounds to me like you guys need a
Donnie. Yeah, we do.
Here's the deal too. Just a tip. You can take this,
leave this, whatever the fuck you want, okay?
If I ever have a problem with a
business, I just
buy that business.
You guys, let's all chip in
and buy that fucking place.
That would be great.
It would cost us a lot to put in air conditioning.
It's way easier than Yelp.
Then you fire the people and keep being like,
can you come back tomorrow for that last check?
I just have sweat box night
every night. Half-priced drinks.
Come on in and sweat.
Then we had to wait the next day and try to find him.
And he never came. And then we finally
got, he owns this other restaurant out here
called V-E-L-L-E. And so we had
to fucking
get a check from him.
And we had to hunt down this guy,
get a check from him. Two weeks later
I look at my bank account.
It's withdrawn, all this shit, because his check bounced.
He then says that he got hacked by cyber electronic hackers
or something like that.
Oh, that's pretty generic.
Because what are the odds that a blatant, shady guy
also got hacked by the cyber police?
I'm going to make this fucking movie.
Are you kidding me?
You guys got the rights on that shit?
I'm sure they're pretty cheesy.
Anybody listening,
the *** is whatever in Vegas
and the *** here in Los Angeles.
Great place.
Really? You go there?
I don't know. I thought that's how you were going to answer.
No.
Terrible ownership. Boycott those places. Real quick, can I ask a question before we get into this? I don't know. I thought that's how you were going to answer. No.
Terrible ownership.
Boycott those places.
Hey, real quick. Can I ask a question before we get into this?
I'm going to be honest here.
I saw the fucking screen with the score when I walked in.
Did USA really just lose to Portland?
Wait a second. You're the one that told us
that it was a draw.
Yeah, but that's a fucking loss, dude.
Oh, okay.
You either win or didn't fucking win.
I'm just saying you seem to know everything about it,
and then this whole Portland thing is really throwing me.
It's just a USA POR.
Do you play soccer?
What's that?
Do you play soccer?
Fuck that, no.
Why didn't you play in the World Cup, or do you watch it?
Well, they wanted me to join the fucking team.
I'm like, you can't guarantee a win
like that. Why fucking
do that to yourself? I'm like, keep it fucking competitive.
You can have one of my nephews
play and he'll wear a fucking Wahlberg jersey.
You'll sell that out in a fucking minute.
So I took a pass. Besides,
if I'm not running from cops, I don't want
to fucking run around.
Go USA, though.
Let's play ABCD's Nuts.
Yeah.
All right, let's fucking do it, bro.
Don't have time to play it usually over at UCB.
We played it in Vegas.
We're going to spell the same word, you guys.
And I've only changed a couple of the titles.
So if you happen to remember
at any given point,
you might actually win this thing by
matching the title that I've already written
down and that I will say to you
now for the second time.
But everyone will be hearing it for the first time because that episode
got lost.
So Sarah starts us off, then we'll go to
Tony, Brian, and then to Mark.
And you just have to name any movie that begins with a letter.
Oh, then what we're spelling, because it was coming out that weekend, is the Jon Hamm movie, Million Dollar Arm.
We're spelling... Did you see that movie, Mark?
What's that?
Million Dollar Arm.
Isn't that where, like, Hilary Swank Bikes Her Fucking Neck?
Yeah, that's what it is.
Okay, Sarah, you got the letter M.
Maleficent.
Of course, if you'd say that.
But of course, I also hadn't written that down several weeks ago.
I went with murder by death.
I to Tony.
Oh, let's go with Ice Age.
Okay, yeah, yeah, that's legit, right?
L.
Oh, I went with In-N-Out,
that movie where Tom Selleck
doesn't have his gay-looking mustache
because in that film he was playing a gay man.
L, Brian.
Leap of Faith.
I went with Life or something like it.
Mark?
L.
Uh, fucking life of pie, bro.
I said Lolita.
Sarah?
I.
Indecent proposal.
In her shoes.
Tony?
Oh.
Oh.
Uh-huh.
I went with osmosis Jones.
I think we both said the same thing in Vegas.
I think we just recreated the same joke.
N for Brian.
Never Ending Story.
Oh, so close.
It's another thing that was made up.
Noah.
Noah.
D for Mark.
Fucking best documentary I've ever seen.
Dazed and Confused.
Yes. I went with the documentary
called Day of the Dead.
O, Sarah.
Over the Top.
Uh-huh. One Night
at McCool's.
One Night. L. L McCool's. One night.
L.
L?
Mm-hmm.
A league of their own.
Okay, you're out.
L, Brian.
Larger than life.
Correct.
I went with little man tape.
So you guys aren't even trying to remember the ones that I said in Vegas.
We drank a lot that night.
I don't really remember playing this game.
Second L, Mark.
Another fucking L? Yeah. Legend.
Oh, okay. I went with Lone Survivor.
I don't know if you've heard of that movie.
I never heard of that.
That's not a movie.
It's actually called A Lone Survivor.
All right,
then Tony's back in then
because he said
a league of their own.
A for you, Sarah.
A league of their own.
I went on another film that was all about the ladies.
All the president's men.
Are, Brian.
Wait, am I not in?
I told you, you're out.
It's called A League of Their Own.
Are we sure about that?
Yeah, we're sure.
All right, take it easy on me.
Ricochet.
Okay, I went with Revenge of the Nerds
because I was going to be doing an interruption of it
and we did it the other night and Booger was hilarious.
A, Sarah.
Arc.
What the fuck, bro?
I'm sorry.
That's alright.
I counted you not knowing Little Survivor as just being wrong.
And that's not fair.
You're still in.
Nor does it ever happen.
We're going A?
Animal House.
I'm sorry.
I'll give it to you.
What's this?
We'll go About Last Night. It does. When you're watching the movie,
it says National Airport is an animal house.
Yeah, I know. We've been over this.
Would you change it to?
About last night.
Or Altered States would have worked.
R, Sarah?
Rebecca?
I said Rumblefish
because I'm going to be in Oklahoma City
doing stand-up this Saturday,
June 28th, Doug Benson Day.
It's not official.
It was official one year and I just try to keep it going.
And then M to you, Brian.
Let's go with...
Marigold.
No.
What's that?
Marigold.
Exotic Marigold Hotel.
Magnolia?
Magnolia.
That's what you made.
Brian, what would you have gone with?
Who's Brian?
The guy in the end there. I know, but you just
asked me. I know. I'm fucking with you, Brian.
I'm fucking with you, Brian. Oh, I like you. You're fucking
Brian.
What would you have said for M?
Moonstruck. How about Max Payne?
You're really not...
Your head is somewhere else today, Mark.
Oh, I think we're all doing a good job of trying to forget that fucking moment.
Well, you gotta bring up that shit, bro.
I'm sorry.
And not unlike the football match that just happened,
this game is a draw.
And so Sarah gets to go first in the next game.
And this was really fun in Vegas.
We played Last Man Stanton.
And the person in the audience suggested Sean Connery.
And I was very excited, because I can name every James Bond movie that he was in, anyway.
And so then we started to play.
And between the four of us, we named a whopping six movies with Sean Connery
in them, and
several of those were suggested by me.
It was
an absolute slaughter.
It was, but also
fun and hilarious. So, we're
going to try it again. We'll start with you again,
Sarah. And I love
this Pied Piper shirt this gentleman in the front
row has on, because Silicon Valley is a very
fun show with our friends on it.
What's an actor,
actress, or director with a large body
of work that you would like us to
play this game with? Rachel Weisz.
Rachel Weisz.
The exit's right there, Sarah.
What the fuck?
Leave the shirt.
Just really quick.
Who is that?
As quiet as it got after he said that,
you would have thought he said 9-11.
There was...
And you know what?
I can't even think of one 9-11 movie now.
United 3-1-1.
What was it?
United 4-1-1.
It's got a lot of interesting information in it.
No.
Let's just go down the line really quick.
Brian, can you name one Rachel Weisz movie?
I don't know who she is, so I'll say...
So you'll say what?
That step- up dance movie thing
No she's not in that
Tony can you name one?
Godzilla
No I have no idea who she is
What about you Sarah?
No idea who she is or kind of an idea
I just can't name any of the movies
No I don't know who she is
Okay Mark?
Rachel Weisz Yeah I know who she is I don't know. Okay, Mark. Rachel Weisz. Yeah, I know
who she is. Yeah. I can't think of a
single fucking movie she's done.
Brothers Bloom.
Yeah, you're right. Constantine.
The girl in The Mummy. Yeah, The Fountain.
She's been in a ton of shit, but she is
kind of more of a specialty
actress that hasn't
done too many things that are, you know.
So technically it wasn't a lot of work, but it was kind of
a curveball. I get the feeling somebody
in the front row has a big crush on
Rachel Weisz. There's no
reason to not be a fan. Yeah, there's no reason
to not be a fan of that lady.
And Darren Aronofsky put a baby
in her, didn't he? Or somebody did.
Are you Rachel Weisz?
And then
Russell Crowe tried to
murder that baby with a dagger.
I'm mixing up their real lives
with Noah.
So I'm sorry, sir.
We have to disqualify you
from making suggestions ever.
Ever.
You're no longer invited to our show.
I like that one.
You took a fucking shot.
Did I say Brothers Bloom? She was in that, right?
Okay, so
let's get somebody else to pick one.
Mark, you pick somebody in the audience that you like.
Where you at, girls?
Let's go right here with Rachel Weisz.
Harrison Ford.
Harrison Ford, now we're talking. Harrison Ford. Harrison Ford.
Now we're talking.
Very nice.
I'm excited about this one.
I think I'm going to win.
All right, Sarah, what do you got?
Harrison Ford.
Indiana Jones.
Okay, you're out.
What?
We fucking got you.
We fucking got you, bro.
Why am I out?
You're out because I think the next time around you're going to guess Han Solo.
Fuck, there goes mine.
What do you mean?
No, because it's got to be the title of the movie,
not just like...
Oh, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.
When we were playing Sean Connery,
you didn't say James Bond.
No, but it is.
Indiana Jones, the first one, is... No, it's not.
And when we played in Vegas...
And I know this, because
when we played in Vegas, the actor was
Sean Connery, and I got out by saying
Indiana Jones. So I learned immediately.
Because he was in The Last Crusade.
Well, thank you. You're giving me more...
But not the first one. Since I'm still in,
can we talk more about Harrison Ford movies
before we start playing
yeah
oh that's a good point
um
so yeah
so I'm sorry Sarah
you're out
Tony
I'm out
no that's a real one though
it's like the third one's named
Indiana Jones
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
is the second one
why are you chiming in
oh
oh
the third one is called
Indiana Jones
and the Temple of Doom and the and the fourth one was called Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.
And the fourth one was called
No, that was the second one. Third one was
Last Crusade and the last one was Crystal Skull.
I'm using all of these, by the way.
I don't know. I don't want you to get
mad at me when I say
I just watched the marathon.
I just watched the marathon.
Well, King Capsule is blocking
the title in the second one, so how can you even tell if there's...
But you have to say the full...
Should I let her stay in the game?
No.
No.
You're a bunch of pussies.
National Ambulance, you're out of the game.
I would expect her to have learned
from what happened to Tony in Vegas,
but we did get really drunk.
All right, you know what?
You host the show.
Maybe I was so drunk that I ran over
to the guy recording the show
and destroyed the tape, and then all this time
I've been complaining that they won't send it to us.
And they won't talk to me because they're
probably going to file some sort of suit.
Okay, so which of those
movies would you like to say?
I love that everybody votes Sarah back in, by the way,
but I say A League of Their Own
and somebody threw a fucking dagger at me, all right?
Yeah, well, I brought a cookbook.
I'll say Temple of Doom.
Okay, but say the whole title.
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.
Yes, okay.
What are you going to do?
Somewhat predictable.
I've got narrowed down to three titles.
Which one?
I'm going to go with The Fugitive.
Oh.
Okay.
So you're kind of banking those other ones.
Yes.
Okay.
Brian?
Star Wars.
So confident.
Mark? Clare and Presentator. Okay. I was thinking when I said Star Wars, so confident Mark
Claire Presentator
okay
I was thinking
when I said Star Wars
like shit
is there something like
Star Wars and Yoda's
friendship or something
like there's
there was some
extra title
I forgot about
Raiders of the Lost Ark
Sarah
Indiana Jones
and the Last Crusade.
Yes.
Tony?
The Empire Strikes Back.
Thank you.
One Star Wars fan back there.
Oh, and whatever the new ones call it doesn't count.
So don't try it.
And he broke his foot.
Oh, yeah.
Like, this is like a kind of
a Harrison Ford's foot memorial edition.
Where are we at, Mark?
No, man, it's me.
Return of the Jedi.
Oh, yeah, okay.
Banged all those out.
Okay, Mark.
You don't have to say A New Hope after one of those?
Huh? Isn't that the full title of one of those
Star Wars movies? Yeah, the first one.
The first one. That's what I'm saying. Do I have to say
that? Because it's not really on that stuff. You know what we're fine with? You did ask?
Yeah. Okay, I just... We're good.
I wasn't paying attention. Yeah.
It was called just Star Wars
at one time.
Perfect.
The first year.
Let's go with What Lies Beneath.
I'm not fucking around
down here.
I'm fucking around
because I'm going to say
Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull.
What? Oh, fuck. The Jones and the Crystal Skull. What?
Oh, fuck.
The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
Should we let him stay in?
I'm out.
I'm out.
Dude, I love that after you said that,
it sounded like half the audience went on a roller coaster.
Oh, funnel cake.
Oh, like in that movie, Fear.
You fucking know it, girl.
That was the best roller coaster scene ever.
Why don't you switch seats?
Come down here.
We can do some fucking Meisner shit.
He'll wither your
spoon. I don't know what that means.
Fucking melt it.
What do you got? Working Girl.
Okay.
Great movie.
I mean, not all good stuff.
God damn it, I keep thinking of more and more.
Tony?
I'm gonna go with
our good friend Harrison Ford
was definitely in the movie
that goes by the name of
Armageddon.
Nope.
Okay, you're out.
Brian?
It was The Hunt for Red October.
Mm-hmm.
Ah.
He wasn't in that.
You're out.
Mark, no.
He was in something else
that I don't want to give away the name.
But you're mixing it up with another movie.
I've said too much, Mark.
Space Cowboys.
So you're out.
What's it called?
With Harrison Ford?
And Daniel Craig?
I'm not gonna say it
Because I want Sarah to say one more
Oh man
You don't have to, I mean you won
So the person that lost first is about to win this game
Yeah
He who loses first loses last
It's an old saying.
Okay.
She's the tortoise and the hare.
Oh, my God.
You don't have to come up with another one.
But you were thinking of K-19 Widowmaker.
And what are you thinking of?
And you were thinking of aliens and cowboys and aliens.
You're right, sir.
What was I thinking when I said Armageddon?
Sabrina.
Sabrina, that's the one I was talking about.
Why didn't I just fucking say...
Air Force One, of course.
The Witness.
Just Witness.
Just Witness.
Witness.
Just the word Witness.
Regarding Henry.
Regarding Henry, of course. I forgot that because Just the word witness. I didn't fucking say that. Regarding Henry. Regarding Henry, of course.
That's a solid one.
I forgot that because of my hand injury.
Anchorman 2.
42 was it.
Anchorman 2, yeah, yeah.
Mosquito Coast.
Mosquito Coast.
Jeez, yeah.
The late River Phoenix.
And Morning Glory with the late Michelle Pfeiffer.
Nobody said Blade Runner.
That's fucked up.
Yeah, but he's a fucking robot.
That's not even him.
Spoiler alert.
That was fun.
Yeah, it was good.
We did better on that one.
So wait, for the record, no one won?
No, Sarah won.
She was the last one to get one right.
There you go, Steph.
She was also the first one to get one wrong.
Frisco Kid.
Okay.
Force 10 of Navarone, or from Navarone,
or some shit like that.
Let's start with you, Sarah, in the Litter Malt game.
Let's play the Litter Mold Game And then we'll come around to you Mark
And then to Tony
And then to Brian
And Sarah gets to pick between three categories
Would you like
At Real Gravy
Suggested I'm just fucking around
i'm ready i'm ready all right uh that person suggested l uh l duderino
uh if you're not into the whole brevity thing. And that's movies that have
seven or more words in the title.
Or, celebrating
her birthday today, I don't think she's ever
been on Douglas' movies, but she's been on Dining with Doug and Karen,
which will be returning very soon
because Arsenio got cancelled.
I know
it's a weird, life is weird that way.
Arsenio gets cancelled, I get
my food podcast back.
Celebrating your birthday today
Mary Lynn Ricecub
The delightful Mary Lynn Ricecub
Who plays Chloe on 24
She's been in some movies
One with Harrison Ford
That we didn't mention
What was it called?
What the fuck was that called?
There's Something About Mary?
Yes
And your third option is
Hardwired
hardwire?
firewall
firewall
Elliot's World suggested
hold on to your potatoes
and that of course is films
that take place in Ireland
so
alright let's do it
films that take place in Ireland
Sarah gets to pick.
Okay.
But I think you might have influence over her.
What's the one with Mary Lynn?
That's like movies that she's in.
Movies that she's in, yeah.
Oh, okay.
Let's do that one.
Yeah, you like that?
Let's do that one, yeah.
All right.
Sorry, Mark.
That's cool.
We're going to go with what she chose.
No, we're all good.
Yeah.
Your idea was stupid.
The year...
I'm going to give you one.
Give me one what?
I'm going to give you one free pass.
Then after that?
And then after that what?
I'll show you how the free pass thing works.
Just shut up and let's play the game, Donnie.
Yeah, you fucking do it.
Oh, you're saying that fucking shit to me?
I don't get one?
What?
Do I get one?
You get one.
Okay.
I was worried that I don't get one anymore.
I'm a victim of my own rules.
The year, Sarah, is 2006.
Leonard Maltin gives this movie three and a half stars.
He calls it winning.
He also says that it's...
Oh, the cast simply couldn't be better.
And he lists eight, 12 names, 12 names total
for this movie that Mary Lynn Ricecoe may be one of those names from 2006.
How many do you think it'll take you to name this movie, Sarah?
Tiana. I think I
know the movie. Oh. So you
can maybe go zero names or
get crazy with some negative names?
Well, let's just say two.
You're just going to get the bottom two
names. Okay.
Okay. Mark, what do you think
of that? Name it.
Oh, shit.
Alright, your names are Gordon Thompson
and Mary Lynn Ricecup.
What's the name of the movie?
Is it Legally Blonde 2?
No?
Is it Legally...
I mean, if it were Legally Blonde 2, the rest would be
like Red, White, and Blue or some shit like that.
It's Legally Blonde 2, a Temple of Doom, actually.
But this particular movie
starred Greg Kinnear
and Tony Collette
and Steve Carell
and it's called
Little Miss Sunshine.
Little Miss Sunshine.
So Mark is on the board.
Mark's got a point.
Go fucking do it, guys.
Go fucking do this shit.
Sorry, Seth.
Oh, by the way,
can I say something real quick?
Yeah.
For everybody who's been worried, Donnie got a fucking job.
People keep fucking hitting me up about this.
He is a fucking character.
He dresses up as the dude from the Aladdin movie at kids' birthday fucking parties.
I keep telling him, kids don't want to fucking hang out with Jafar.
He puts on a whole Jafar outfit and does the voice and everything?
No, just a purple cape and talks with a lisp.
He did get a new job because he got engaged.
Who's that?
Your brother.
Donnie?
Yeah.
No.
Yeah, he got engaged.
That's a job.
To who?
Some beard.
Yeah, that skinny girl on The View.
Elizabeth? Are you fucking
kidding me? No, not Hasselbeck.
Jenny McCarthy, yeah. Don't you know
what he's going with Jenny McCarthy? Me?
No, your brother. Your brother.
Oh, I just thought she fucking needed
work too.
Like, who's this chick around the house?
She gonna clean shit up?
She definitely had work done. I don't know shit up? No wonder he got so fucking defensive.
I don't know if she needs work.
He got real fucking defensive.
I'm like, oh, maybe I'm just insulting one of his peers.
I don't know.
That explains a lot.
Oh, God, they should move out.
They're going to house number two.
All right, Mark, you're on the board with one point.
First person to two points will be our winner today,
and all his prizes will go to whoever they're playing for.
And this time we're going to start with,
since Mark challenged Sarah,
we're going to start with Brian and then go to Tony.
And Brian gets to pick between Ann, Eddie, none.
Not just any Eddie Nunn,
or yeah, just any,
and Eddie Nunn, one of them,
suggested Post No Bills,
and that's sequels to Bill Murray movies
that Bill Murray is not in.
So it's a sequel,
and then he's not in it.
Hannah Wakes the Bears,
that's a movie where a bear attacks a human.
And Bateman Rises,
which I've been having people petition on Twitter
to change to Bateman Begins
and I really, it doesn't matter.
I just want somebody to pick it eventually.
That's the early Jason Bateman films.
So that's why they want it begins instead of rises.
I'll try the Bill one.
Okay.
And you know what?
You know, it's hard enough to be a performer,
but whoever's doing that
cricket impression
is really pissing me off.
There's like daytime crickets in Los Angeles?
Yeah, I don't know.
It's a pretty rare thing, isn't it?
I'm used to just hearing them when I do stand-up.
Okay, so you get to pick a year, Brian,
in this particular category, I think.
Yeah, yeah, you get to pick a year.
84 or 2003?
For a Bill Murray-less sequel?
84.
84, going deep.
Two stars from Leonard Mullen for this movie
that he calls an in-name-only sequel.
He says that...
Ugh.
At one point there's a From Here to Eternity takeoff
You know the scene
From Here to Eternity where they're rolling around on the beach
And the waves are crashing up and they're making out
There's like a scene where they kind of
Do a parody of that in this movie
And Leonard lists
Nine
Ten names And this is a sequel Sequel to a Bill Murray and Leonard lists ten names.
Ten names.
And this is a sequel.
Sequel to a Bill Murray movie
that he's not in.
And the year is 84.
How many names out of those
ten names do you think you need?
I'll go with five.
Five names he says, Tony.
Name it. Five. Five. Five names, he says, Tony. Name it.
Jesus.
We all know our own abilities.
What the fuck?
If Vegas is in here, we could have all 13.
We could have the name of the movie.
We'd still get it wrong.
I don't know.
The cricket shut up though
You just walked the cricket
Fuck this
I got someone's sleep to disrupt
There's a napper in this apartment building in the back
Five names Brian There's a napper in this apartment building in the back.
Five names, Brian.
They are Elaine Boosler, Paul Rubens, Misty Rowe, Archie Hahn, and John Larroquette. You know what it is, bro.
And they were all in what movie, Brian?
Sequel to a Bill Murray movie, but Bill's not there.
In name only says Leonard
That other clue
That won't help you at all
Caddyshack 2
You really put it out there and made a good guess
But the actual answer
Is Meatballs Part 2
Fucking Meatballs
Yeah fucking Meatballs man
Stupid movie
That dumb movie Yeah it's not good Fucking meatballs. Yeah, fucking meatballs, man. Stupid movie.
That dumb movie.
Yeah, it's not good.
It's a hot dog.
It's kind of fun watching Paul Reubens run around being silly but not being peewee.
But sort of being peewee.
So that means that Tony's on the board.
Tony has a point, everybody.
Way to go, dude. Way to earn that point, Tony.
Yeah, and we'll start again with Sarah
and it's going to come right back at you,
Tony, so be ready.
Where did I leave off?
Oh, I've got to go back to the top.
Here we go.
Scott
Beowulf.
It's a long time category.
Trying to clean some of these out.
I've been hoarding these categories.
And the worst part of all?
The worst part of all is?
I never learned to read.
And the worst part of all?
The worst part of all is?
I never learned to read.
What's it from? I don't know.
And the worst part of all?
I think if you keep saying it, it's not gonna help me.
Wayne's World.
We have not fucking gone to the audience yet.
Is it Wayne's World? It is fucking Wayne's World. Hey, I did it!
You and me, we're gonna talk.
No, you know what?
You know what?
I'll give you one.
God damn it.
Scott Beowulf's movies
are Scott Beowulf's
or both.
Winds and Scrabble
is movies that begin
with the letter Q
and They're Always Glad You Came
is movies that have
actors from Cheers
in them. At least
one actor from Cheers.
At least one. Of which there was about seven or eight
regular shows over the years.
Maybe nine.
Let's do... Wow, that's
hard. Movies that begin with Q.
Q, okay. Would you like a movie that begins with Q
from 2008
or 1990? 90 or 2008? My apologies, okay. Would you like a movie that begins with Q from 2008 or 1990?
90 or 2008?
My apologies, 2006.
1990.
And 1924, sorry.
That's 90 or 2006?
1990 or 2006?
Yeah.
Don't make me change it back to 80.
2006.
The year is 2008
two and a half stars i'm serious two and a half stars from leonard wait i can't tell if that's a
six or an eight it is so fucking with me is it a q though you want me to take a look it's a six
it's a six yeah take a look at it. Okay. Fucking wise guy. No, bro.
Here's what we'll do.
I'm pretty sure it's an eight, but that's a clue.
It's from 2006 or 2008.
Okay.
Two and a half stars from Leonard.
It's 2008.
Two and a half stars from Leonard.
Possibly.
He says that this movie is watchable throughout.
he says that this movie is watchable throughout
he also says
that
the cricket's back
so much pressure
there should be crickets on game shows
oh he also says that the movie
has you picked the category right
yeah yeah it's got hyperactive editing shows. Oh, he also says that the movie has, you picked the category, right? Okay, yeah.
It's got hyperactive editing.
And he lists seven names.
How many names can you get it in, Sarah?
This movie that is from
2008.
Okay, she says eight names.
Do you want to say seven? Seven. Take them all.
What do you think, Tony?
Now, okay.
Is it 2008 or 2006?
Let me verify.
Where you going?
Doug, come back.
That's 2008 officially.
It's officially 2008.
I know this guy. He's good for it.
I didn't recognize him at first
because he did this thing with all his hairs
going from his head. It begins with a Q.
What's that? It begins with a Q.
I say name it.
I say name it, Sarah Tiana.
That's a lot of names
for her to get, though.
Yeah, it's all the though Yeah it's all the names
It's all the names
People in this room
Down to maybe one or two of you
Are going to know this answer
So everybody just do your best
To not blurt it out
I'm talking to you also Cricket
I'm so bad
I'm sorry Stefan
I'm not saying that to embarrass you.
I'm just saying that I'm hoping you'll be with all of us
in knowing the name of this movie.
Oh, wait.
We've got a phone call coming in.
Yeah?
Well, then we'll just have to blow up another one.
We'll blow up...
You can buy more.
All right, if we can't get it out of the tree,
we'll blow up another You can buy more. All right, if we can't get it out of the tree, we'll blow up another one.
I got to go.
Donnie's having issues with the balloon.
It's not a big fucking deal.
Can't Jenny help him with the balloon thing?
Who is this girl? The maid?
She's on The View. She's blonde.
She used to be in Playboy, singled out with Chris Hardwick.
Okay, you just listed Hollywood.
And she didn't strip?
She thinks that immunization causes...
Autism.
Alzheimer's.
Autism.
She backed off of that.
Whatever.
Well, either way way she's fired
you can fire her
I've been cutting her checks
I thought she fucking
worked at the house
god damn it
you know what
I should give her one
I don't know what that means
in this case
don't give her one
okay
but do give her one
your seven names, Sarah, are
Jeffrey Wright
Gemma Atherton
Atherton, something like that
Giancarlo Giannini
Judy Dench
Matthew Almeric
Olga
Kurilenko Kurilenko, and it begins with the letter Q, Daniel Craig.
Oh, okay.
What was that movie called?
Wow.
I'm going to cry.
I'm making a guest cry.
Oh, man.
Talk us through it.
You know, the only thing
I like better than winning
is watching other people lose.
I mean, it's got to be...
Is it a James Bond?
No.
No?
Don't fucking trust me
He's just messing around with you
We can't answer the question
I know you guys can't get me
It's definitely a movie
I feel like you know what it is
I know what it is
And if you don't say it
Then Tony's gonna be our winner
And we had a great time
So don't feel bad
But you know Everybody's got the cricket's got other plans.
I'm going to be so bummed when I hear it.
I've got a lot of weed to smoke outside.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's a cue.
Yeah, it does.
It's from 2008.
It definitely is.
From Judi Dench.
I saw this one.
Fuck, man.
Fuck.
Raise your hand if you don't know it.
Look at that.
Great.
I know.
I know.
I know.
Rachel Weisz is in it.
Let's do...
Uncredited.
Let's do some plugs while she's thinking.
Let's go through and do our plugs.
We'll have a nice, suspenseful ending to the show.
See if she can pull this out.
You can check out Wahlburgers.
That's fucking the best show on television right now.
And other than that,
you can watch me do shit on the DVK show on the Nerdist Network.
I fucking help that dude out sometimes.
Oh, nice.
Very good.
Thank you, Mark. And the game
might continue if she names it. Then we're gonna
have a three-way tie.
And Brian. Brian, what do you
got going on?
I'm gonna be at Comic-Con this year, bringing
Death Squad there. It's gonna be three shows and two nights.
We're bringing Kill Tony there,
which is Tony Hinchcliffe's Thunder Pussy,
and we're having a big comedy show.
You know what? I'll do it.
All right, you're in.
Mark Wahlberg is in.
And that's what venue?
American Comedy Code, July 23rd and July 24th.
Oh, and also, you all should have gotten a letter by now.
I did a mailing.
If you didn't, just consider yourself invited, or, I mean, like you all should have gotten a letter by now. I did a mailing. If you didn't,
just consider yourself
invited or,
I mean,
like you needed to.
Go see Transformers 4.
You did a mailer
for Transformers 4?
Yeah.
Stamps are like a buck.
It's nothing.
Tony,
what's,
you got Kill Tony
Mondays at the Comedy Store?
Check out Kill Tony.
I'm doing the road a lot.
You can check out
my website for dates on that.
And you can catch me winning Doug Loves Movies
in about two and a half minutes.
I can't think of it.
I saw it at the Vista, and I can't think of it.
Can I give her a hint that won't help her,
but it'll be funny because it doesn't?
Okay.
Scott Bakula.
I fucking went here
and there.
I got a plug, I think.
Yeah.
Oh, just reminding everybody about
Getting Doug with High tomorrow night at Largo and Cincinnati.
I'm going to go bananas on Thursday night. Have you ever played there,
Sarah? No, I haven't. What do you got
coming up? I know it's hard to think about two things
at once, but you got any
comedy dates that people can come see you?
This week?
I'll be at Flappers on Thursday.
Oh, I'm always at the store. Flappers in Burbank?
Yeah, Thursday. Nice.
And then I'm going to be in Edinburgh. If anybody listens
to this in Scotland, I'll be at the Edinburgh Festival in August. I'm going to be in Edinburgh. If anybody listens to this in Scotland,
I'll be at the Edinburgh Festival in August.
I'm sure there's some people that do that.
Anybody that will kill me.
They all know the answer.
Yeah.
All of those people.
I don't know.
It's like, I don't know.
I know it's a dream.
I'm sorry.
What do you think it is, though?
It begins with Q.
I know.
I know.
I'm bummed that I picked that.
It's not. Let me narrow it I picked that. It's not...
Let me narrow it down for you.
It's not Kwak-to-pussy.
It's not Kuhn-raker.
Cold finger?
I don't know.
It's got to be quicker.
All right.
Well, we got to throw in the towel.
I'm so sorry.
I know.
I'm so sorry, Steph.
I'm sorry.
I'm sure Steph's got a good shithead back here.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
That's going to feel good.
That's probably going to feel better than carrying your heavy book around for the rest of the night.
So you did good.
Yeah.
It's called Quantum of Solace.
Oh.
Are you kidding me?
Solace for all you enunciators out there.
I'm bummed because I won the one in Vegas,
so it's okay if I don't win them both.
As usual, the dude with the sword wins.
Yes, Tony's our winner, everybody.
Doug, if you would have went with the other year,
what is the movie?
Was it Quigley Down Under?
No, it wasn't, but that's one of my favorite titles.
There's something suggestive about it.
But also, he had one of those little things right here.
Flavor Savers.
Flavor Saver, yeah.
And so for a while, I called that a Quigley Down Under.
And I still do, I guess.
Can you pass down your name tag there, Mark So I can read the shithead off of the back
And thanks for everybody for coming out
And we'll get everybody out of here
A few minutes ahead of schedule
Oh, that's an interesting one
Oh, there's one on the back of Brian's thing, too
One more round of applause, everybody
For Sarah Tiana,
our winner, Tony Hinchcliffe,
Brian Redband,
and the one and only
Mark Wahlberg.
Real quick, I didn't get to work out today,
so if anybody wants to stick around and fight,
I'm in.
You'll just fight all comers?
Yes.
I really like your bracelet, by the way.
What's that?
Your bracelet.
This weighs 22 pounds.
All day.
Wow, effortless the way you lift that thing.
Also makes a good cock ring.
Oh, what, you can't give me one?
Yeah, I'll give you one.
Ender's game.
Well, that's a fucking good one.
Yeah, I'll do it.
All right.
As always, Adam Baldwin's a fucking good one. All right. As always,
Adam Baldwin is a shithead.
There you go.
There's your name tag back.
Good job.
Oh, look at this.
Where'd that come from?
Was that from yours?
Yeah, I remember.
It's cool, dude.
It's cool.
Oh, shit, I dropped it.
This is going to be bad. Oh, I remember what it was., dude. It's cool. Oh shit, I dropped it. This is gonna be bad.
Oh, I remember what it was.
Portugal is a shithead?
Totally.
Okay.
And the crazy old lady who lives upstairs is a shithead?
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
I took both of you and proud was paid to foggy.
There's no room in his heart for you.
Cause Doug loves movies.