Doug Loves Movies - Martha Kelly, Chris Cubas, Ramon Rivas II and Seth Herzog guest
Episode Date: March 19, 2018Live from SXSW in Austin, Doug welcomes Martha Kelly, Chris Cubas, Ramon Rivas II and Seth Herzog to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at ...https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Today's episode is brought to you by Stax Records recording artist Nathaniel Rateliff and The Night Sweats.
Their highly anticipated new album, Tearing at the Seams, featuring the anthemic single You Worry Me, is out now.
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Enjoy the show.
Doug hates candy wrappers,
sweet and baby sticky seeds.
With 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth,
there's still not one that he won't see.
Because Doug loves movies. Doug's Movies.
Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is I Love Movies. Coming to you once again from the Stateside Theater in Austin, Texas.
Always a treat to get to come and do a show here in the music weekend of South by Southwest.
It's Friday, March 16th, 2018.
I know all of you have stinking badges, or a lot of you do,
but what's the name tag situation here today?
Oh, we got some nice ones.
You're putting Esther's Follies the other day to shame, you guys.
There's some nice big ones.
What's the Space Jam one?
Space James, of course.
I just saw Popstar never stop, stop popping.
Never stop stopping. And and on HBO cuz it's
a movie I what every time it comes on I watch it in its entirety because I love
it and it's also short what'd you change it to the title Trevor stop Trevor
stopping okay and you're Trevor what's going on with that popcorn over there?
You just bought a popcorn and then scribbled on it?
You just wrote your name on it?
Okay.
And so if the person selects you, they get beer and the popcorn?
Okay.
Are you eating any of that popcorn? You add a little bit.
Typical. As amazing as that one is, I think I found one of the best name tags I've ever seen.
So excuse me for a moment as we place our gaze on what looks like a piece of
on what looks like a piece of paper from a notebook that's...
What do they call that?
It's perforated on the edge, so you tear it out.
And what did you write on it?
Because I can't even see anything.
Terminator Shoe Judgment Day.
Because your name is Chew.
Alright.
Thank you everybody for coming today
and enjoy the rest
of your South By.
But great job everybody.
Even Chew.
She's one of my favorite
Pearl Jam songs.
So
Doug Plugs what do I got coming up, you guys?
Got a bunch of stuff coming up.
You know where to go to find out more information,
but the main one I wanted to mention was that next Wednesday,
or this Wednesday, rather, March 21st,
Doug Loves Movies is back at the Gramercy Theater in New York City.
And for the rest of my dates, I got shows in April, May, June, all over the country.
Check them all out at douglovesmovies.com.
That's douglovesmovies.com!
Yeah!
That was pretty good.
There's some of you sitting there going,
we have lines in this?
We're supposed to participate in some way?
It's like going to a Rocky Horror Picture Show without, what do they take, rice?
Yeah, or going to the room without a spoon.
I've never seen the room.
What do they, they just,
everybody just throws their spoons?
When you see a photo of a spoon?
Okay. Then you throw your spoon.
I'd like to find the biggest ladle I can get my hands on.
Fucking hit somebody in the back of the head in the front row.
Alright, let's get my guests out here.
As you can see, we've got four chairs
I love when we have the directors chairs
on stage in front of a movie screen
because it looks like this is going to be a Q&A
but
no in fact it's going to be
movie chat and then
games with four
hilarious people
please give it up
for Chris Cubis, Martha Kelly, Seth Herzog,
and Ramon Rivas II.
Ramon
Rivas.
Hey, Martha.
All right.
What a good-looking group.
Right? You mean us or them?
All of us.
I mean, I meant us on stage, but them in the audience too.
I'm curious why this gentleman's leaving already.
Yeah.
What happened?
He was like, these aren't the guests I wanted.
Too many Jews.
There's one. Too many for Texas.
Yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
See you later. Too many for Texas. Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
See you later.
It's also such a long walk out of here with somebody. It is.
It's the most awkwardest long walk.
He decides to go.
He's just like hiking.
He's got his Sherpas with him.
Maybe he's just a fan of the beginning of the podcast.
Yeah, that's probably it.
He just wants to hear the theme song.
He wants to yell DouglasMovies.com, yeah,
and then he's out.
Guests
schmests, he says.
What if he just tries to see a little
bit of every show?
He just wants a taste.
He got a feel for what was going to happen here.
I said, we're going to
talk about movies and play some games. He's like, oh,
that's not what I'm into.
Good day, everyone.
But there was a guy that got up to go to the bathroom or something
the last time I was here a year ago,
and I still feel bad about it
because he was going up the stairs really slowly,
and I made some sort of joke about him being a large man or something.
Well, because he was fat.
Yeah, but I didn't straight up call him fat
is my point.
Also, Seth wasn't here for that show.
He was just making assumptions.
Well, I would have loved it if Seth were here
because I'd be like, oh, hurry up
and get out of here, large dude.
And you'd be like, large? He's fucking fat.
I was here and I held back.
Were you really here?
Yes.
It was last year in the same room. I'm not going I held back. Were you really here? Yes. Yes.
It was last year in the same room.
And I was like, I'm not going to tackle that.
I would have just imitated trumpet music like... That's a trumpet?
No one watches Charlie Buckethead?
Let's meet my guests individually, starting with, directly to my left, it's Martha Kelly, everybody!
Star of Baskets on FX.
Yeah!
How you doing?
Good, how are you doing?
I'm good.
Your energy is just contagious.
It's through the roof, yeah.
I love it.
So you're doing good? You're here in austin you're hanging out yeah i live in austin and i'm hanging out in austin i love that about
you that's so cool and uh are they talking another season of baskets is that happening i think so
because zach said it in an interview like a week ago. He said there will be one, so hopefully he's not wrong.
Yeah, he seems to be the one that would know.
I think so.
If they're going to do more.
But he'd also say something without checking with the network first.
I mean, you don't really know, but probably.
All right, cool.
Next to her, everybody, it's Ramon Rivas II.
Hello. Ramon Rivas II. Hello.
Ramon Rivas II.
And he's, of course, is curator the right word for it?
I mean, I guess, yeah, curator.
Curator of the Accidental Comedy Festival in Cleveland, Ohio,
which we did Douglas movies last year there.
Were you there, Seth?
I was not.
Okay, I'm just going to double check every time I mention a past episode. movies last year there. Were you there, Seth? I was not.
Okay, I'm just going to double check every time I mention a past episode.
I was usually there.
See if you were there.
Yeah, you've been on 17 times.
Yeah, my festival is a lot like this one
except the pedicabs don't rip you off.
Oh, shots fired.
Boom.
There's probably a lot of pedicab drivers in the audience.
Let me tell you, I mean, I guess what you're saying probably is true,
but I had the greatest pedicab experience last night because the pedicab driver said to me, this was his offer to me,
will you, I will give you a free ride if you smoke this blunt I'm smoking
with me
he asked you that?
yeah he's like I'll give you a ride
for free if you're willing to smoke
my weed
in the pedicab
while I'm taking you somewhere
please let me do that
I feel like this was in your head
it wasn't real
I've got a witness
the lord
so
that's the end of that story
that's good
how did they rip people off
me and another comic
took a pedicab
like four blocks from like
sixth in congress to like where esther's follies is so
like not that far and they were we got out and she she was like 20 bucks would be fair but like you
pay whatever but like in the spirit of the festival and then i i just looked at my friend because i i
just hopped in because they were the one who was gonna take it i was just gonna walk uh and then
they paid 20 and then someone else got charged $40.
Sounds like you ripped off your friend.
That's what it sounds like.
That's true.
I mean, I let them know. I'm like, hey, I'll hop in here,
but I'm not responsible for paying for this.
And they were cool with it.
All right. Well, I mean, that's not
a great price, but
yeah. In the spirit of the
festival. Yeah.
I love that the spirit of the festival is greed.
And I think that's accurate to the spirit of the festival.
Yeah.
And that, of course, everybody, is Seth Herzog.
Hey.
Perfect lazy clap.
That's just what I was looking for.
Oh, relax.
And so you're out here in Austin
this weekend, music weekend of the
festival for the same reason you were here last
year. Yes, exactly.
And that is to host
the Roots show.
Bud Light sponsors the Roots Jam
Festival and I emcee it, which I
introduce all the acts. They play a set
and they have like about 12 guests
coming through doing a couple songs each
and it's fun.
It's a fun night of music.
Lasts seven hours.
That's a slight exaggeration.
Just slight though.
Slightly, yeah.
What time does it kick off?
8 p.m.
Doesn't sound confident.
No, it's about 8 p.m.
is when the DJs start
and the doors open, I think.
Okay, I see, I see.
All right.
And what's the venue?
Fair Market.
Bud Light Town.
I think it's called Bud Light World. No, it's Fair Market.
That's where it's going to happen.
Is that a real... Because I've seen things be
built up as
this location and then I walk past them today
and they're just a regular place.
And I'm like, was that...
Did that ever exist? Yeah.
I feel bewildered most of the time.
In life or just at the festival?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
In the spirit of the festival, he feels bewildered.
I think at all times.
I think most of my time.
But I'm always high, so that might be it.
And finally,
it's Chris Cubis!
I'm concerned about the structural integrity of these director's chairs.
I feel like the guy that left last year.
I might be too fat for my endeavor.
Yeah, I'm not a fan of the director's chairs
except for on movie sets.
But even there, they're the creakiest chairs.
And it's so odd to set them all around the camera
and then tell everybody to be quiet
while they shoot the scene.
And then you move it on.
It's like...
But, you know, good for them.
They're sticking with a chair just because it's a tradition
but of course Chris
is an Austin comedy phenom
and one of the better
game players on the show
I'd say
depends
I'm only two beers in so I should be pretty good
oh okay
so you think you'll do alright today then
uh yeah Oh, okay. So you think you'll do all right today then?
Yeah.
I'm sizing up the competition, but... Well, I got to call my...
I mean, Martha's a wild card, as always.
But otherwise, I think I'm all right.
I think I'm going to have to call my bookie,
because I had money on you,
but I think I'm going to switch it to Seth.
Hell yeah.
I won last year.
See?
I was just reminded by someone in the audience. I'd forgotten I had won last year. But Chris was not up against you last year See I was just reminded By someone in the audience
I'd forgotten I had won last year
But Chris was not up against you last year
He was not
He is a formidable opponent
So here we go
Let's see what happens
Yeah
Nobody thinks we're gonna win
As a man of color
I'm used to that
Tell everybody your Instagram name.
Blazer Ramon.
He wears a lot of sport coats.
He's always looking natty.
All right.
We got to find out what you guys brought for the good old prize bag.
Let's start with Martha over here.
Okay. It's sort with Martha over here. Okay.
It's sort of,
it could be lame.
If you,
if someone wins
and they like the show Baskets,
it's medium okay.
But if you don't like it,
it mostly is garbage.
So the first...
How could somebody
not like Baskets?
A lot of people pull it off
really
not liking baskets
never having heard of it also
well yeah
that one I get more
millions of people
so this was part
this first part
was a wrap gift
for season three
and it's just a dumb backpack
that says basket season three
that's not exciting
but hold on because inside it's just a dumb backpack that says Basket Season 3, that's not exciting but
hold on
because inside
it either gets better or worse
the second part is someone who
is friends with Louie
made nightlights with each of
our characters on them and it would
scare me if I used it
but as something to put in your junk drawer
and never take out,
and then to make up for the fact that
these aren't that good,
I have a crisp $20 belt.
Can I see that nightlight?
I love this nightlight.
It would terrify me.
Well, yeah, it's not good to have your own face
on a nightlight, It would terrify me. Well, yeah, it's not good to have your own face on a nightlight.
But for anybody else, and you got the big beverage there.
I think that's the cast.
Oh, the cast on your arm.
Yeah, yeah.
You're absolutely right that that's what it is.
But this thing, I want it.
Will you take it out of the prize bag?
This is the only one in existence?
Well, yeah, but I should have brought it.
I just don't know where it is.
The lady who made it gave me a card,
and she makes these all the time.
Okay, so look for her, you guys.
I think I don't know where the card is.
Because it's pretty cool.
I like it.
I bet if you Googled people's faces on nightlights,
I bet you would find her.
There's two people who do that.
It's a good thing
you put that $20 there.
I'm trying to make up for it.
Someone's going to need to take a
pedicab four blocks.
She's probably at the level
she can just smoke weed
with a person
and it'll be cool.
Oh, the idea of Martha
just getting blazed
in that pedicab
is real funny to me.
She'd be like,
no, I'll just overpay.
Ramon, what do you got for us?
I got,
so I tried to go
to the artist's room because I've been here since Friday performing,
and they were like, oh no, comedy doesn't count.
And I got real sad, but then the comedy curator, Charlie, got me a band, so I went in, I got
two book bags for myself, and then I got other shit.
And so I put up just a bunch of things I've gotten over the course of the festival. So you get a half eaten package of nuts that got me through a long concert yesterday.
You get a button and a guitar pick and a shirt and a mixtape of Air Aggressive Man gave me.
And then a sticker for my comedy shows.
You get two True TV condoms that say funny is better than big, which...
I love using a condom from the network
that has impractical jokers.
Yeah.
And then a vase. This is Doug
ruins everything.
A vape pen battery that is dead.
A bowl
a bunch of comics smoke from.
And then
a South by Southwest
comedy poster.
That's a really cool
somewhat valuable poster.
And then this bag
and tube.
Yeah, very nice.
Yeah, try to
get that back in the tube. That's always fun.
I'm good at rolling things.
Oh, yeah.
Get it in. Nice.
Seth?
I went shopping for you guys
at Aaron's Rock and Roll Shop,
which I think is one of my favorites.
I got two things that I would want.
One is this one-of-a-kind
Stranger Things doll of 11.
They only made one of these.
She also makes nightlights,
the woman who made this.
And I thought
this was useful and kind of cool.
It's a, um, it's like
a couch
blanket. It's a very, very soft
fluffy couch blanket with all the Pulp Fiction
faces on it. So you can
like chill out on your couch
with this blanket underneath
Ving Rhames.
You really did
go shopping.
I spent some serious dough.
Did you leave the receipt in there?
I did, so they want to know exactly
how much I spent. No, I did not.
You just
know.
I'm going to tweet it later.
I'm going to go to Adam's Rock Roll Shop
and tweet the price.
I have a Bloody Buddy
that was made right here in Austin, Texas.
It is a little tiny Bloody Mary
with vodka in it.
So drink that in good health.
You want to chill that.
I got a camouflage bucket hat that says Austin on it.
That friend of the podcast, David Borey, left at my house the other day.
So that is now no longer his.
And I got Planet Hollywood the Game.
Stop.
Come on.
Fresh from 1994. Jesus on. Fresh from 1994.
Jesus Christ.
It is terrible.
Is it already making noise?
Yes.
There's like a globe that makes noise that will just make noise in your house regardless
of if you touch it or not.
So have fun with that.
And there's a bunch of terrible like trivia things.
It's all like.
Oh, shit.
No, it's fine.
So basically the game is, it'll be a category
and you have to riff with the other
person you're playing against things in that category.
But they're so broad.
One of them is like, movies
with Danny DeVito
and movies with Sylvester Stallone.
So yeah.
Name a thousand
movies, I guess.
It's... It's currently making noise.
It's going in there.
And it will continue to do that through most of the podcast.
That's so weird.
Be quiet.
It cost me $4 at the Austin Pest Alive thrift shop.
Somebody's a volunteer, I think.
Yeah, she works there.
I got my dog there.
Or she saw a mouse.
Cross your legs, Seth.
Are you saying my dick looks like a mouse?
Yeah, the listeners don't know if you're wearing shorts or not.
Or if your dick has a tail.
They don't know.
But it has ears.
Giant ears.
I brought...
Somebody's going to get
a lot of Twix bars.
Tiny Twix bars.
They got dark chocolate.
You want to volunteer
to have one of these?
And white chocolate. Can to have one of these?
And white chocolate.
Can I have one?
Which flavor?
Oh shit, can I get one of these?
And they also got regs.
They got regs Twix.
But I couldn't tell you whether it's the left tower or the right tower that made it.
Here, try a dark one.
Here, try a dark one. Here, try another dark one.
Oh, no.
I feel like a garbage can from his Instagram videos. I feel like I really want to try to throw this into that cup that's sitting on the stage.
It'll tip over, though.
Oh.
All right.
So let's...
Who wants Twix?
All right.
Here we go. I got, who wants Twix? All right, here we go.
I got a lot of Twix
because we went to the Twix party last night.
I went with a couple of comedians to the Twix party.
This is exactly what you got in trouble for.
Authentic South by Southwest.
I got thrown out of the Twix party
for throwing Twix bars around the room.
I was like, fuck you.
I'm going to go do this at my show tomorrow.
With your product.
Did they ban you from the party?
Or was your punishment they gave you more Twixt?
The party had like 10 minutes left to go.
It was like so silly.
But anyway.
I never would have met that pedicab driver
if I didn't get thrown out of that party.
It's all a timing thing.
I love that there's a woman taking a hard nap right there.
Hard nap.
Oh, also there's a Twix.
There's a Twix koozie that I got from the party.
No, it's going in the prize bag.
Yeah, you got to work for this.
I love how excited you guys were for a Twix koozie.
I like to keep my Twix warm.
Cold, I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know what the point of that would be.
But I'm sorry.
I apologize to everybody sitting in the back
that I don't have the arm to get this back to you.
I could probably throw some back there.
See how far back you can get.
Watch your faces, everybody.
That was good.
Damn.
They're all over the floor.
Ramone, do that again.
Try to hit that upper corner up there.
Hit all those volunteers up there.
Oh, that was a nice one.
Holy shit.
Now check me out.
And that was after like a warm-up.
Do you want to throw some, Martha?
Oh, sure.
Yeah.
It's like you're feeding pigeons.
I love it.
Ugh!
I feel like you should just do this every episode.
Welcome to Doug Loves Throwing.
It's a great podcast.
We ended up with so many of these fucking Twix bars.
And that's also, we took a thousand Twix bars and they didn't throw us out for that.
They threw me out for throwing them.
That's, yeah, that was, that was violent.
All right.
So there's all, oh, sorry to the winner of the prize bag.
I didn't, I didn't, I forgot to keep some the winner of the prize bag. There's no more.
I didn't...
There's no more.
I forgot to keep some.
You got a koozie, that's it.
Yeah.
And you also get...
I got a...
Somebody handed me a gift card for Chick-fil-A
that I have absolutely no idea how much money is on it.
So it could be, you know, a dead card
that they just gave me just to be funny.
And then a dude, I was on a rock cruise recently and one of the bands was called On the Sun and he
gave me a copy of their CD. And then here at the festival the other day I went and saw the
documentary about the making of the most recent Star Wars movie, Last Jedi.
They were giving these out, so I grabbed one to give you guys. It's a card for
a free complimentary
digital code.
I guess you just get the movie.
Last Jedi.
Yeah.
I don't know what kind of game
they're running here. I don't know why they
are giving away the movie,
but they must have some sort of evil plan.
They must think that'll make them more money
for everyone that gets given away.
So many people will buy it.
Disney owns everything, man.
Right.
That's just a fact.
All right, I got a question I want to ask all of you
before we get to the game portion.
And we'll start with Chris over there,
because he knows this question is coming.
What was the last movie you saw?
I saw Paddington 2,
which was the best movie I saw.
I feel like demographically I'm supposed to say Get Out,
but it's definitely Paddington 2.
That movie is amazing.
And then I also saw Jumanji Welcome to the Jungle
because I have MoviePass and Time to Kill.
And that was a movie.
So yeah, that exists.
How long until MoviePass goes out of business?
I can't.
How can they do it?
I know.
How are they making money?
I feel like somewhere
there's just a big,
it's like boiler room.
There's just a bunch of people
with phones.
Giovanni Rabisi's there
scamming us somehow,
but whatever.
I've seen like 20 movies
with that thing.
And how much is it a month?
$7?
$10 a month.
$10 a month.
I was in LA.
I went and saw two movies.
They're $16 a piece.
Yeah. Yeah, so you're already there. I'm way saw two movies. They're $16 a piece. Yeah.
Yeah.
So you're already there.
I'm way ahead.
Movie pass is already $22 in the whole few.
They're acting like it's a gym membership and some people get it and then only go to
one movie every couple of months or something.
But if you go to a movie every day, how can they, how can they afford to pay for all your
tickets?
Well, there has to be some amount of thing with the theater where they're like, it's
just empty seats because you kind of have to book it on the day.
So like, if there's a seat empty, I guess go sit in it.
But here's the thing.
The theater has to pay movie pass.
I mean, movie pass has to pay for the ticket.
Sure.
Nobody wants to see Welcome to the Jungle Jumanji 2 except for this guy.
So there was an empty seat.
There was a lot of empty seats.
Dude, but that movie.
Well, yeah, now they don't want to see it
because it's been out for months,
but that movie was huge.
It did so well.
You weren't into it?
I mean, it's fine.
Like, Kevin Hart and The Rock
are very charming people,
so that's fine.
Like, if I had paid money for it
and was sober,
I probably wouldn't enjoy it,
but there's legal weed in Los Angeles,
and it was movie pass,
so everything's fine.
And do you like Jack Black?
He's got a little girl inside him.
That sounds gross.
That joke.
There's a little girl inside him.
Yeah, yeah.
Me too.
There was...
That joke gets old fast.
Honestly, there's only three times you can see him go, my phone!
And then you're like, okay, we get it.
It's fine.
People love it, right?
You guys love that movie.
Yeah!
No one's afraid to cheer now.
You guys just destroyed it in their careers.
Yeah, they'll be all right.
I still love that that guy's name is Dwayne.
That the world's biggest movie star is named Dwayne.
What do you got, Seth?
What was the last movie you saw?
The last feature I saw recently
was Shape of Water.
I finally saw it.
Yeah, finally went and saw.
It's the fish porn I've been wanting to see
for a long time.
A lot of similarities between that
and the first Paddington.
The first Paddington, yeah.
A lot.
That's right.
Paddington liked his bathtub.
He fills the bathroom with water and swims around in it.
That woman falls in love with an animal.
It's the same movie, essentially.
Michael Shannon's in it.
It's R-rated.
R-rated Paddington.
Yeah.
And you think it deserved to win the best picture?
Sure.
I mean, what's the best picture?
There's ten nominees.
They're all totally different.
They all have totally different styles.
Like, who cares?
You know, of course.
Why not?
That one, right?
Yeah.
But it was fun, and I'm glad I saw it, and it's beautiful, and you could see the poetry
of, like, the directing.
But, like, there was a, logistically, there's a lot of holes.
You know, I mean, I'm glad they mentioned the fish dick once.
They just had to get it out there, but you never see it.
But then, was he used protection?
Or does she have fish sperm in her now?
I'm sorry, I know that's really graphic, but that's one of the thoughts I have.
They used distilled water.
Is that what it was? That's how they cleaned it up?
It's a fun movie.
I'm glad I saw it.
That's all.
All right.
Ramon.
I saw two movies here at the festival.
I saw a movie called Family, which was about...
I didn't think I would enjoy
either of the movies I went and saw, but I just
went with my friend. And it was
a good movie. It was
based upon
Juggalos,
which was... Oh yeah, I saw
the poster with the kids with the makeup on.
Yeah, so that was good. It's about time
somebody made a narrative movie
that had characters who were juggalos.
Hold on, is it a documentary or a...
No, it is a...
Okay, that I didn't see coming, honestly.
A hard-nosed, selfish woman
has to take care of her niece who becomes a juggalo
and then goes to the gathering.
Yeah, the struggle's real.
Yeah.
And then the other movie I saw,
which was absolutely fantastic,
was Eighth Grade, Bo Burnham's movie.
That was phenomenal,
because I've never really felt anxiety before as a person.
And then that character had it.
The Jewish guy is really blown away by that.
I've never felt
pain or fear
my entire life.
Not in the way that people, because I've had
people who'd be like, oh, I don't smoke weed. It gives me anxiety
attacks. I'd be like, oh, I've never had that happen.
And then I'm like, well, I don't know
anything that makes me overtly
anxious with that movie. The way it was shot
and the way he used music and everything,
really, I haven't had an emotion like the whole theater feeling one thing at the same
time since i saw get out in the theaters and like you could feel like the tension and anxiety and
the release when that happened with the scene so it was just great it's really good like it's you're kind of mystified it's like a magic trick yeah and
it was the performances are so good and the actors are all so young and theoretically
unexperienced and uh and they go through some stuff yeah and i got to go to the first screening
and before the it went up uh bo said that like he remembers 8th grade being like a weird
awkward
scary time and he said that's what the world
feels like now so he wanted to make a movie
about what that would be like to go through that right now
and he did an amazing job
I hope to get him
on the show sometime between now and when the
movie comes out which is
July I think
Martha
I haven't been to a movie
in a theater in a long time
so the last movie that I watched
on the television was The Heat
this week on
cable because I was home
sick and I would watch
anything Melissa McCarthy does
over and over again
yeah she's hilarious
and she's really good in that.
She's maybe my favorite
actor.
So, pretty
excited. The Heat, everybody! Check it out!
Sorry.
The only Academy Award
nominated movie I saw was
Get Out and it was amazing
and very upsetting.
But have you seen Paddington 2?
No, but I want to
because it looks really cute.
Yeah, let's go back and
cross-examine Chris on this for a second.
Paddington 1, how did you
feel about that? I enjoyed it. I think
it's a very fun, like,
it's a family movie, but it's like, you can just
enjoy it. It's beautiful and fanciful.
But part 2, how do they take it up a notch?
What are they doing?
It's like if Wes Anderson wasn't lame.
Like if Wes Anderson wasn't the guy you hate at the bar,
then this movie would be that.
It's beautiful, and it has a lot of that similar,
it feels like Grand Budapest, but with joy.
It's really good.
And it gets intense.
There's death.
It's a beautiful movie
and everyone should see it.
I tried to show it to David Borey
at my house and he fell asleep
and I took his bucket hat.
It was a stone cold fact.
It happened three days ago.
I'm worried about seeing Wes Anderson's New An Isle cold fact. It happened three days ago.
I'm worried about seeing Wes Anderson's new An Isle of Dogs. I don't like it.
Because it has a lot of dogs in the cast
and if you're a dog in a Wes Anderson movie
there's a very good chance you're going to die.
Not good. So he's going to kill all the dogs?
That's terrible.
Also, when I saw the trailer
I saw the trailer and that movie's like
it's set in Japan and everyone's Japanese.
And the cast has like a Japanese dude in it.
And then it's just Cate Blanchett or whoever else the fuck.
Nick Offerman.
Yeah, exactly.
He's so Japanese when you think about it.
But yeah, I'm still on team Wes Anderson, but I hear what you're saying.
And I got to check out Paddington, too, because I thought everyone raved about Paddington,
and I thought it was fine, like Chris was saying.
And then, but this one, they're saying Hugh Grant is amazing in it.
He's very good, but amazing is a bit of a stretch.
But he's, like, very arch and, and like vaudevillian and evil.
Yeah, they say he kills it.
He's great.
A hundred percent on Rotten Tomatoes.
That doesn't happen often.
So there's got to be a reason.
Something was just baffling.
Yeah, and it's mostly because Get Out would be
if it wasn't for racism.
So there's also that.
Yeah, well, there's only one or two bad reviews of Get Out.
And I guess Lady Bird was 99 or 100 as well.
They're basically the same movie.
It's pretty impressive.
Lady Bird, yeah, similar.
Yeah, for sure, for sure.
All right, Bert, turn it off, because I'm about to say,
let the games begin!
Woo!
Oh, okay.
I heard something about popcorn and beer.
Where's that sign?
Yeah, there's a bucket of popcorn and a beer for the taking.
And while you guys grab your name tags that you want to play for today,
we're going to go to a brief.
Oh, we have to get off the chair.
Yeah, we're going to go to a commercial message.
We'll be right back.
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Back to the show.
All right, we're back.
What a fun selection process.
Somebody threw a paper airplane onto the stage.
Can you grab that, Ramon?
What's going on with that thing?
You're like, nobody pick your
name tags, you're like, fuck it, you just fold it up
and throw it up here?
Oh, it's a...
Somebody did an Isle of Dogs
themed poster.
I love it! So I'm gonna make it into a
play to get Doug's attention.
Isle
of Dugs.
Oh, man.
No one saw that coming.
All right.
Why'd you throw it instead of holding it?
I'm going to keep that one.
I think because he had already not gotten picked, I think.
Or maybe he just decided to go for it.
Also, I brought a Doug Loves Movies t-shirt and one of these things.
So all of that's going to be won by somebody whose name tag was chosen.
Let's start with Chris, because I love the one Martha picked.
Chris, who are you playing for?
Is it Peraro?
Peraro is who I'm playing for.
And it's a bucket of popcorn and a Lone Star.
Yeah.
So, yeah, I'm playing for gluttony, apparently.
That's a great system.
Seth?
I picked Live and Let Die.
It's a great, great poster.
Some girl named Liv recreated the Live and Let Die poster,
where Doug is James Bond, which is a movie I would totally see.
Oh, my Lord.
And then you're in there, and another guy,
and Kumail, and Leonard Maltin, all the guys who are here.
James Bong.
James Bong. There you go.
There you go.
I want writers to come.
And it's a great poster.
I love that you forget forgetting the poster that everyone,
even Paul McCartney
has the same font
except Yafet Kodo
gets extra font.
Double font for Yafet Kodo.
Oh, God bless him.
That's kind of cool.
Yeah, he's intense.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Ramon?
I'm playing for
Callie's Burgers.
She drew a little
Bob's Burgers thing.
And Dave is Doug. I don't know what she was, I don't know who Dave is in Bob's Burgers. She drew a little Bob's Burgers thing. And Dave is Doug.
I don't know who
Dave is in Bob's Burgers.
But it's an arrow
with Dave and then Doug
in parentheses.
But it looks cute.
Yeah.
I like it.
Kaylee.
Is there a child here that drew that?
Is that a child?
Damn.
No, she might have little hands, though.
That's wrong.
That's why they draw a band.
She has a condition, Ramos.
That's wrong.
No, she just might have little hands.
I don't mean like exceptionally little.
I just mean like...
All right, Martha.
Tell everybody about the name tag.
Well, first of all, I like that it's very small.
It's just a ripped out piece of paper from a small notebook.
And it says Terminator 2 Judgment Day and a heart.
And I love that it was a last-minute decision to even participate.
And also, I've been thinking about Terminator 2 Judgment Day a lot lately because of the terrible world that we live in.
Did you go to that Elon Musk panel?
Is that why?
Did you go to that Elon Musk panel?
Is that why?
Oh, I didn't get that because I'm not hip on what's happening in the world,
except that we're all going to die.
But was, you mean, did he come to South by himself? He came and he was like,
I'm just trying to make all the Black Mirror episodes true.
It's pretty much.
I heard, I liked him, and then I heard he's not nice to his employees, and now I don't like him.
I respect that.
Well, he can go fuck himself.
Yeah.
Uh, but I didn't get your name, Terminator.
Chew.
Chew is her last name, so.
Well, I know I'm probably not going to win, but I will cherish this until the world blows up,
which will be soon.
Sorry.
I love that you're treating it
like it's yours to keep.
Is it not?
She might want it back
for a future episode.
She might want to try again.
I'm not giving it back.
Sorry.
All right.
So, I've devised some games it back. Sorry. Alright, so
I've
devised some games for us to play
and only the
last game determines the winner of the
prize bag, so don't
feel too much pressure, you guys.
This first one is
called
How Long Is It?
Thank you.
Here's how this game works, you guys.
We're going to start with Martha.
Each of you gets one guess.
Like you're the four contestants on Price is Right.
Because I'm going to tell you a thing,
and then you each have to guess how long it is
without going over.
All right? and then you each have to guess how long it is without going over.
All right?
Martha?
And you're all going to get the same question.
The last time I did this,
somebody thought they were each going to get a different question.
How long is Tom Hanks stranded in that airport
in the movie The Terminal?
Oh, solid.
Oh, no.
Is it...
Is it a month?
Maybe.
Maybe.
Let's see what everybody else thinks.
Ramon?
Ramon?
I will say
it was definitely
a change of seasons.
It was around the holidays.
I'll go three months.
Seth?
It's based on a real incident,
but I don't know how much they exaggerated it.
I think it's longer.
Oh, let me just tell you that the real incident, the guy was there for
18 years. What?
That's not true. It is.
The guy lived in the terminal for 18
years.
Did he work there? I don't believe
that.
Was he a comic?
Did he just stop
paying rent?
No, no country would take him, so he was just stuck at the airport.
Wasn't in the United States, it was somewhere else.
But 18 years.
Wait, what country was the real airport in?
That he was stuck in for 18 years?
Yeah.
I don't know.
I would have totally shared that if I did.
Why couldn't he just go live in that town instead of in that town's airport?
Well, you're not allowed to leave because your passport's invalid,
so they won't even let you out of the airport.
It's just like the Hotel California.
This is making me angry.
Oh, I love what Martha looks like when she's angry.
Logistically, this doesn't work.
Just Martha.
It just seems like somebody should have been able
to get him out of the airport
before even one year.
I think he probably just stayed for the snacks.
Like, the airport's got a lot of sweet treats.
Do you have a guess, Seth?
I'm going to say, I think it's like nine months in the film.
Okay, Chris?
At least. That's my guess.
Well, that's not how it works. You have to pick a number. I'm going with nine. You're going nine months in the film. Okay, Chris? At least. Well, that's not how it works. You have to pick
a number. I'm going with nine.
You're going nine months.
I am going to say
it's more than 30 for sure. You said
90 days? I said
three months. Three months, so give or take.
I'll say
I'll say 91
days.
Classic, classic Price is Right move.
It's always fun when this happens.
The correct answer, Seth Herzog, nine months.
Oh, wow.
Nice.
Look at that.
Look at that. Look at that.
You know, I only saw that movie the one time because after it was over, I was like, yeah, Terminal is right.
And why did you feel like you knew that answer?
How did you come up with that?
I was just remembering what I knew about the movie.
I never saw it, but I remember all the ads.
I never saw it, but I remember the ads.
I remember reading articles about it. And I remember thinking it had said like a year. He was like almost a year there. That's what I remember all the ads. I never saw it, but I remember the ads. I remember reading articles about it.
And I remember thinking it had said like a year.
He was like almost a year there.
That's what I remember.
It's so funny you read articles about movies
you have no intentions.
Exactly.
Yeah, that's how when people ask me about it,
I'll know something.
Yeah, well, you knew exactly nine months.
So congratulations to Seth Herzog
for winning our first game.
I have a question about the movie.
Oh, we have a question on the floor.
Yes, Senator. How
did he die
or did someone eventually let
him into their country and
if so, why'd they fucking
wait 18 years? He died.
That's why it's called Terminal.
He died in the airport.
Wait, now are we talking about the movie
or the real one? The real guy.
Oh, the real one.
He was just waiting around for an upgrade and he finally got it.
And so he hopped on that plane.
Yeah, I don't know.
I really shouldn't have brought it up like I know the story.
Because that's going to bother Martha the rest of her life.
I just saw it peripherally.
Like if you try to look up how long was Tom Hanks in the terminal,
they're much more excited about telling you about
the real life guy and how long he was
there. I believe it said
18 years.
That's upsetting.
18 years.
We want prenup.
We want prenup.
Alright, so this next game
is called Whose Tagline Is It Anyway?
And we'll start with Seth,
and then we'll go to, we'll switch the order around.
We'll go to Chris and then Martha and Ramon,
and you each get one guess.
What movie is this the tagline from?
Seth, the tagline is,
life is waiting.
Ugh.
I'll just throw one out there that's not the right answer,
just so you guys can get it on the right.
It's not Boss Baby.
It's not Boss Baby. It's not Boss Baby.
I'm trying to think if I can figure it out.
Life is waiting.
Can you give me a year or no?
No.
No.
I can never give anybody a year.
So many years.
I never know what year things came out.
Train spotting.
Can I guess?
All right.
A few people laughed at that.
Chris?
I'm going to say the Eddie Murphy
Martin Lawrence vehicle life
They're in jail
There's a lot of waiting involved
Or it could be the Ryan Reynolds, Jake Gyllenhaal
Space vehicle life
Right
Martha?
I have no idea
So I'm going to guess,
is it The Boy in the Plastic Bubble?
I don't know, I'm sorry.
We're not going to win.
That's a TV movie,
it's a TV movie, first of all.
Is it?
And secondly,
go ahead and do another guess.
Is it, oh, Is it Robo?
No, wait, what's the one with Sylvester Stallone and Sandra Bullock
where he's frozen for a long time?
Oh, Demolition Man?
Yeah, that's my guess.
Okay.
Sorry.
Okay, the correct answer is...
Oh, I didn't get the guess.
Oh, sorry, Ramon.
I apologize.
Man, I could have waited one second.
That was so close.
Look who's talking.
All right, but give us a guess.
We're all looking at you.
What's the one where they go to a planet
that Matt Damon was in?
Oh, The Martian?
Yeah.
Downsizing?
I'll go The Martian.
Good Will Hunting?
All right.
Enough of Matt Damon, Last Man Stanton.
Life is Waiting is the tagline for the movie The Terminal.
We've all been punked.
Play that trumpet.
All right, here's the next one.
Starting with you again, Seth.
Oh, Lord.
The hero
is back.
Like, whoever wrote that tagline I can't believe I hope they lost their jobs
shortly after that
the hero is back
the hero is back
so it's a sequel
about a sandwich
the hero is back about a sandwich um
the hero is back
uh
I don't know
blank man 2
no such movie but I'll take it
Chris
Batman Returns how'd it go No such movie, but I'll take it. Chris?
Batman Returns.
How'd it go?
Heroes back?
Yeah, okay.
Martha?
I'm going to ask a couple questions.
What's that movie?
Nope, nope.
That's not a question you can ask.
Okay, I'm going to say it's the sequel
to that
movie where there's a kid
and like a
Wow. Quite a long title.
A giant robot
that's heroes
in the title. Something with heroes.
Oh. Big Hero 6. Big Hero 6
Part 2. Okay. There's 6. Big Hero 6 Part 2.
There's a sequel to that.
Also known as
Big Hero 12.
Alright.
I won't do it again this time, Ramon.
Tomb Raider? I'll give you a chance.
What? The reboot of Tomb Raider?
Or there was a Tomb Raider 2.
Yeah. Cradle of
life.
Is waiting.
That's your final answer?
Yeah, that's why I said it.
Some people like to do a
backup.
That is the tagline for
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.
I know, right?
Very bad tagline.
Let's try another one.
I want to stress that heart ripping out scene.
Right?
Yeah, the tagline should just be.
Get your heart ripped out.
Yeah.
Calima, shopti de.
Calima, shopt Calima Shoptide
That's not a tagline
That's just
That's just what they say
In that movie
Seth
Yeah
It's about life
It's about love
It's about us
The TV show
This Is Us
It's a film, right?
Yes.
I booked you for Douglas TV next week.
It's about love.
It's about life.
It's about love.
It's about us.
Is there a dot, dot, dot between each phrase?
Nope.
Ooh.
Each one.
Periods.
I think there's a period after each one, yes.
Totally different movie.
It's about life. It's different movie. It's about life.
It's about love.
It's about us.
The Family Stone.
Okay.
Some people are impressed by that choice.
It's not, but it's one of those movies.
It's about us.
It's about life.
It's about love. It's about us. Chris? It's about life. It's about love.
It's about us.
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.
Martha?
This time I know the title.
Okay.
It is the Michelle Pfeiffer Bruce Willis movie
called The Story
of Us.
Okay.
Alright.
You know, generally they don't
put the words in the title
also in the tagline.
You know, like Star Wars
wasn't look at the wars up in the starsline, you know, like there isn't like Star Wars wasn't look at the wars
up in the stars.
So I feel like then I should make a different guess.
I think is it within the past 10 years?
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Is it...
I don't know.
I pass.
Good try. Ramone?
Sorry, Chew.
I'll go loving basketball.
Shout out.
Just you and me and the one black dude in the front row
that even knows what the fuck you're talking about right now.
The rest of y'all need to get hip to black love, man.
That was like the clapping you hear
in the audience on Family Feud when somebody
says something that's not going to be up on the board.
Service says no.
We didn't serve any black people.
It's about life.
It's about love.
It's about us is the tagline for the color purple.
Yeah, so those of you who are playing along at home,
so far we have the Terminal, Indiana Jones,
the Temple of Doom, the Color of Purple,
and this final chance for a point,
starting with you, Seth.
I got it. It's E.T.
Is that your final yes?
No.
Say the thing. Say the thing.
This is not a game.
Excuse me, I said it wrong.
War games?
This is not a game.
Trying to say it like E.T.
What's your guess?
War games.
Okay.
Chris?
Oh, okay.
This is not a game.
Mm-hmm.
Trying to run through.
Come on, let's get, somebody get a point on the board.
Yeah, I'm trying.
This is not a game.
I'm out of Spielbergs.
Let's just say E.T.
Martha?
I think it's the movie Saw.
Right?
Doesn't he torture people? It's perfect, yeah.
That's a perfect tagline for it.
I thought the movie is he tortures people
and it's sort of a game.
Yeah, his name's Cheek Saw and they're puzzles,
but, you know, they're not games.
They're puzzles.
Ramone?
It's between Jumanji
and Clue.
I'll...
Those are both games,
I think. I know, but they would
say, like, the movie is like,
yo, this is not a game.
This is not a game.
Yeah, I'll say...
Based on a game.
Oh, is it Battleship?
Is it...
I'll go Jumanji.
Is it Hug Me, Hug Me, and Pose?
Can I change my answer?
Yes!
Is it Fatal Attraction?
Is it the movie The Game?
All right, here's a fun game.
Just keep guessing, everybody.
Hunger Games.
All right, let me recap.
The Terminal...
Oh, Ready Player One.
Is it Ready Player One?
No.
Because that movie's about a game.
It's like being in a tank and saying,
this is not a movie.
Good luck.
That's what that dude who walked out in the beginning realized.
He was totally waiting for Doug Love's movies, the movie.
And when we came out here, he was like, fuck, I don't want this.
I was hoping for a movie of this.
When are you going to do Doug Loves Movies, the game?
Tagline, this is not a game.
Or a movie.
I think I have to now.
Uh-oh.
More walkouts.
It's so noticeable here.
What are you going to try to go see now?
Yeah.
I'll just sump anything else.
Anything else.
I heard there might be a street musician somewhere in the neighborhood.
There's some good street musicians and there's some sad ones.
You could tell by what corner.
I can't.
Like when I'm walking by the drumming ones,
I don't know if they're a good drummer or not.
I just know it puts a little perk in my step.
They're never drumming slow drum numbers.
It's always real...
All right.
I feel like I'm in a Soderbergh movie when I walk by.
Okay.
The answer to this one is
AI, artificial intelligence
And all of the answers have been Spielberg movies
And so
For the final round
I'm just going to say it
And the first person who says the correct answer wins
Okay
And is there just one time we do that?
Or are there a bunch of different
Just keep yelling
This is the one
Yeah, you can say as many titles as you want,
but the first person to say the
correct one wins. They win
the whole game? No, we know
it's going to be a stupid school board movie. We got one more game after this.
Okay. Yeah, so no pressure,
Martha. Real nervous.
Laughter
Laughter
Laughter
Laughter Laughter What if Peter Pan grew up?
Hook.
Chris Cubas with Hook.
1941.
They love the Rufys.
Happens every time.
Try bringing up Hook in front of anybody
and they go right into that.
No one ever brings up
Bangarang.
It's the less popular.
Yeah, thank you.
What was it?
Bangarang.
Come on, man.
Come on, man. Let's play Last Man Stanton. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on, man. Come on, man.
Let's play Last Man Stanton.
Oh, Lord.
This is the game where we get the name of an actor or actress from an audience member.
Usually that's how we do it.
We pick somebody off of my Twitter.
And then you guys take turns naming movies
that person's been in. Can't think of one you're out, but you do have one lifeline.
You can go, Martha, you can go to Chew one time. Ramon, you can go to a woman whose name
I'm afraid to say incorrectly.
Kaylee.
Kaylee. And then Seth, who are you going to?
Liv
I want you to
live
sorry Chris?
Pararo
alright
so all of you guys be ready
out there but there's somebody I'm looking up
here, raise your hand
if you think you wrote to me on Twitter and said you had a great name for, oh there's somebody I'm looking up here. Raise your hand if you think you wrote to me on Twitter
and said you had a great name for, oh, there's more than one.
Shit.
Let's see. Oh, going to miss Doug Benson
because the South by Southwest shuttle
system is stupid.
Where is that Meredith?
Did you make it?
She really missed it. It's that stupid.
It was that girl who went to
go watch something else all right uh oh yeah here we go where's uh where's jay sterling pound at
hey how's it going dude that's not fair he's next to live
yeah man oh yeah that is kind of not fair actually actually They don't know all the same films
Are you here with Liv?
Yeah
It's fine
Interesting
I feel like they've had to
It's not going to change things
Me and Chris are used to the game being raced against
Sorry Martha
And Martha.
And Seth. We're all
diverse people. Just Doug.
So what we're going to do is
we're going to do two names.
So you
got to name a movie from one of
two different actors. One that
James is going to
give us and one that I've
prepared special.
Oh, my Lord.
So we have two options.
Yeah, two different actors.
And you can go back and forth between the two.
You don't have to stick with one or the other,
but it makes for a really interesting challenge.
Because also James might say a name that is very difficult, but we'll see.
He looks like he knows what he's doing.
Sure.
What do you got, James?
Liam Neeson.
Okay.
I've already...
I just thought of three.
I'm going to...
And then I'm going to throw
into the mix, and I don't even know if they've ever been
in a movie together, but we'll find out if anybody thinks they have. I'm going to throw into the mix, and I don't even know if they've ever been in a movie together, but we'll find out if anybody thinks they have.
I'm going to say Whoopi Goldberg.
Okay, okay.
Yeah, right? Why not?
Okay, so it's the films of either,
you can name one by Liam Neeson or Whoopi Goldberg
when it gets to you.
Chris won that last game,
so we'll go Chris, Seth, Ramon, Martha.
Start us off, Chris.
Taken.
Okay.
There's two left.
Liam Neeson's only in three movies?
Seth?
The Color Purple.
Yeah.
That one was...
It's about life.
That one was right there. It's about love. It's about life. That one was right there.
It's about love.
It's about...
It's about us.
Oh, I wrote it down wrong.
It's about the U.S.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Would be accurate.
That would be accurate.
The Color of Purple.
Okay.
Who is next?
Sister Act.
Ramone is going Sister Act.
I like it.
Martha?
Taken 2.
Sorry.
Don't apologize.
Those people that said Color of Money and Sister Act
should be apologizing.
Take those Takens down is what I say.
Chris?
Oh, you're not playing?
Huh?
You're not playing?
No, because I already knew about Whoopi Goldberg.
I could totally cheat.
Sister Act 2.
Hold on, shit.
Back in the habit.
Woo!
That was close.
Seth Ghost. Right? That was close. Seth.
Ghost.
Right?
You're in danger, girl.
They're remaking it.
Now it's just about somebody who leaves parties
without saying goodbye.
It's good to go home and work on his sex pottery.
What?
The English patient.
Who's in that?
I mean, I've seen the English patient.
I don't remember Liam Neeson being in it,
but I also remember not being awake for most of it.
Yeah.
He's in that?
There's a lot of no's coming from the audience.
That's what I'm thinking.
Oh, I'm thinking of Ralph Fiennes.
That's a different way to...
Well, now that we know who you're thinking of,
we all know he definitely wasn't in that.
So can I switch?
Okay.
Crooklyn.
What?
Is Whoopi's not in Crooklyn?
I don't think...
All right, bye.
All right, first, it's so...
This is hilarious.
All right, so you could go to your lifeline.
Oh, yeah.
Let me go to my lifeline.
And then think of some more titles later on.
Okay.
Kaylee.
Kaylee.
She's going Lion King.
Do you want to go with that?
I mean, yeah.
It's true.
Whoopi's the voice in that.
Nice.
Along with she and Cheech Marin are partners.
Which one?
Partners in crime.
Whoopi was in Lion King.
A couple of hyenas, I think.
Okay.
Thank you.
You got out of that.
There's one title that everyone should be saying and no one is saying it.
I'm about to say it.
Here we go.
Batman Begins. There's one title that everyone should be saying and no one is saying it. I'm about to say it. Here we go.
Batman Begins.
Chris.
Jumping Jack Flash.
Okay.
Love Actually taken three
yeah there it is
that lasted a while
Martha the films
of Liam Neeson
or Whoopi Goldberg
Karina Karina
yes
that's a really good one that's what I confused for Croquant that's a really good one
that's what I confused for croquant
that's a good one
Chris
the burglar
yeah
Bobcat Goldthwait
was in that with her
Seth
Michael Collins Was in that with her. Seth.
Michael Collins.
I love that applause.
There's a few people who know what I'm talking about. Yes, Michael Collins is a thing.
It's true.
Ramon.
How you doing, buddy?
The Dark Knight? You in that one or no okay no then I don't know do you want to try I guess another one of those movies oh man I can Man
I can tell you the whole plot of the movie
But I can't remember which one it was
Interesting
Oh that's a clue
No that
Was not a clue But that was not a clue.
But that was.
I know.
Damn.
I just can't remember what that one was called.
Well, you know, it's always great to have you here.
Thanks, man.
No one is judging you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I see some arms folded.
Some people are judging you
Yeah it's okay
I'm sorry
It's all good dude
Can I plug something?
Or do I have to just leave?
No you know what you might as well do it now
I normally do it after the games are over
Oh I thought I had to leave
I'm used to leaving on 12 guys at Christmas
On a regular show you get to stay the whole time Oh cool alright after the games are over. Oh, I thought I had to leave. I'm used to leaving on 12 guests at Christmas. Like, you just have to get off stage.
On a regular show, you get to stay the whole time.
Oh, cool.
All right.
All right.
Cool.
But now I want to hear your plugs.
I'm going to be debuting an hour
at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in August in Scotland.
And then Accidental Comedy Fest
is Labor Day weekend,
August 29th through September 2nd
in Cleveland.
And Doug's coming and doing
the Doug Loves Movies there.
And then whoever wins
the prize pack
can have a pass to that too.
Woo!
Ooh!
But you got to come to Cleveland.
Yeah, now applaud if you're interested in going to Cleveland.
All right.
Yeah, see?
Very nice.
I'm doing good work.
You're turning that town around, dude.
Yeah.
I'm like a real broke, unathletic LeBron.
Martha, you've had some time to think.
About this.
What have you got for us?
Well, there's a Liam Neeson movie with a bunch of wolves.
Thanks for the hint.
And I think it's called The Wolves, but I think I'm wrong, so I'm going to ask.
You may have to go to Chew, yeah.
I'm going to ask Chew for help.
I'm thinking about The Grey.
The Grey?
Yeah.
That's my guess.
The Grey.
Thanks.
Did you see The Grey?
I did see it.
You did?
Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
It unfairly portrays wolves as bad people.
And as people.
And I think it's been around long enough,
I'm not spoiling it for anybody,
but it has the most fucked up ending
because the coolest wolf fight's about to start
and then the credits start to roll
because he's just standing there surrounded by wolves
and then the movie's over, right?
I honestly don't remember the ending.
I just remember they were getting picked off one by one by wolves.
I think you saw Balto.
I think that's the movie you watched.
Yeah, because they were also dying from other things.
They had a lot of things to deal with when they were out there in the wilderness.
And Liam Neeson...
There's at least a few moments in that movie,
and then I noticed it in a couple other movies,
where Liam Neeson has scenes where he talks people
through their own death.
Where he's just like, just hang in there.
He just talks the whole time,
telling them everything they need to hear,
and then they die in his arms.
It's happened a few times.
Great story.
All right.
You've had some time to think, Chris.
Dark Man.
That's a cool movie.
Seth?
The Phantom Menace.
Star Wars.
Star Wars, The Phantom Menace.
Full title.
Right.
Jar Jar's turn.
Nope.
Full title. Right. Jar Jar's turn. Nope. Full title?
Am I crazy?
Is this not a full title game?
I thought that's what we did here.
I got yelled at it back in the habit
like five minutes ago.
Yeah, I'm just waiting for Seth to get it right.
I'm just hanging out.
Okay.
It's not Star Wars
The Phantom Menace
Do you want to go to your lifeline?
Oh, oh, oh
What's it? Episode 1
Let's get the whole thing out there, buddy
Oh god, Star Wars The Phantom Menace
Episode 1
Am I not even right?
No, you gotta put them in the right order
Jesus Christ, you people are the worst Am I not even right? You gotta put them in the right order.
Oh, Jesus Christ, you people are the worst.
Star Wars Episode I, The Phantom Menace.
Yeah!
Liv, you better enjoy that pillow or whatever.
Okay, Martha, we're back.
Okay, I think that he is also in Star Wars Episode II,
Attack of the Clones.
Or Star Wars. He's in it.
He's in it.
Oh, okay.
I think.
Yeah, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, sure.
Man, nobody's confident in that answer.
What's that?
What about Star Wars Episode 3?
Well, you don't want to say that yet.
Why are you still saying?
Yeah, you already got a right answer.
Because this gentleman was shaking his head saying he's not in Attack of the Clones.
He very well could.
There's a good chance that he's not.
Nerds?
Where are the nerds? I don't re-watch those movies a lot. We got a hand up. Nerd in the back. There's a good chance that he's not. Nerds? Where are the nerds?
I don't re-watch those movies a lot.
We got a hand up.
Nerd in the back.
What's the answer?
He dies at the end of the first one.
But he might appear as a hologram like Ben Kenobi.
So he's in.
Okay, so I'm changing my answer.
Okay, yes.
Change your answer.
Star Wars Episode 3.
But I don't know the rest of it.
The one...
There's some real Star Wars purists are walking out.
Star Wars Episode III.
The Empire...
The Emperor's New Groove.
The Emperor...
Oh, my God.
The one where they kill all the baby Jedis.
I don't know.
Sorry.
That's Passover.
I lost.
Sorry, Chew.
Can I still keep your sign?
Okay, sorry.
Okay, so you're out?
Yeah.
Okay.
Chris?
A Walk Among the Tombstones.
Mm-hmm.
Who was in that?
Liam Neeson.
Ah, that was Liam Neeson.
Liam Neeson.
Liam Neeson.
That's his Japanese version.
Liv, what do you got?
The Lego movie.
The Lego movie.
There we go.
Very good.
Everything is awesome.
The Commuter.
New movie with Liam Neeson.
I'm assuming bad things happen on a train.
I have no idea, but I saw the poster.
Yeah, it's the sequel to Non-Stop.
Oh, goddammit, that was the one I had in my pocket.
I was sitting on Non-Stop.
Interesting, let's see what happens next.
There's a movie called Non-Stop.
Son of a bitch!
It's amazing.
It literally doesn't end.
There's a lot of people who are still watching it.
It's shown in conjunction with Never Ending Story.
What was the one with Jodie Foster
where she was on a plane and she had to stop things from happening?
Red Eye?
Red Eye.
No, that was Rachel McCaffrey.
Flight Plan.
Flight Plan.
Good point. Flight Plan. I Plan. Flight Plan. Good pull.
Flight Plan.
I thought Flight Plan should have been called Panic Plane.
Like that lady, everywhere she goes, she just gets into situations kind of like John McClane.
Who's up next?
Chris, back to you.
Peroro, what you got for me?
Ted 2.
Yeah, it shows up in, Liam Nees for me? Ted 2. He's got a cameo.
Yeah, it shows up in Liam Neeson's in Ted 2.
Very good. Good work.
Wow, she came...
She brought popcorn
because she means it.
She likes movies. Seth?
Come on now.
That's why I've been giving you all these
wrong answers you've been having lately
because I think Chris is going to go all the way.
Right.
Well, knock that shit off.
You meant that dirty.
Let me think.
Oh, okay.
We'll just be here.
I have a feeling he was in Rob Roy.
Oh, that makes sense.
Yeah.
Sure. Okay. We're that makes sense. Yeah. Sure.
Okay.
Are we just,
we're going with sure?
Yeah.
I think he plays
the title character.
Is that accurate?
I think he does play
the title character.
I think he plays a guy
who orders that drink
all the time.
Hand up.
What you got?
No, that's not
what this is for.
No, is he in Rob Roy?
I can't believe he is.
Is he in Rob Roy, you nerd? Yes. Yeah, he's not what this is for. No, Izzy and Rob Roy. Izzy and Rob Roy, you nerd.
Yeah, he's in it.
I decided.
I decreed it.
Okay, so he's in that.
Theodore Rex starring Whoopi Goldberg and a dinosaur.
She's like a future cop, and she's partners with a dinosaur.
You have not seen it.
That's a good one.
No, I know. I've never met someone who has
such a crazy knowledge of
Whoopi Goldberg.
That's very impressive.
Can I say the gangs
of New York?
I don't know. Can you? Yeah, I think I did.
Physically. The gangs
of New York.
Fucking white people really stacking this fucking game against me you should have taken that and then i should have i
fucked that up and i wanted to play like a gentleman you did you played like a gentleman
as opposed to a cheat hold on a second uh i got this yeah you do i'm sure I got one in there. Hold on.
You guys can... Never mind.
I don't want to cheat.
What?
What's happening?
I don't.
I don't.
I don't want to be like this guy over here.
This is all on Chris.
What about the one I didn't know the full name of?
Yeah, but I don't know that he was actually in that movie anyway.
I also don't know the full name of that movie anymore, honestly.
I'm sorry.
Okay, everyone shut up.
Shut up!
Oh, my.
It's fun to yell sometimes.
He, okay.
You said Karina.
Karina is the one with fucking
Neil Patrick Harris, right? You already said. No!
Hold on. Hold on. Clara's Heart!
Clara's Heart! Starring Whoopi Goldberg!
God damn it!
Oh, you did it.
Everyone shut up!
I think there was a
Clara's Heart 2 still beating heart, too. Still beating.
Still beating.
Still beating.
Clara Harter.
All right, let's take this thing home, Seth.
All right, I'm going to go with
Star Wars Episode III,
Return of the Sith.
Oh, so close.
Revenge of the Sith?
Enough chances, goddammit.
Yes, it's Revenge of the Sith.
And he shows up in that one, right?
He doesn't?
I think he does.
I think very briefly.
He doesn't?
All right.
They're really trying to fuck you, Peraro.
I don't like this.
Can somebody Google it on their phone?
No.
No, he already got it wrong.
Stop trying to cheat me and Peraro
out of this hard-earned victory.
You should give it to him for Clara's heart alone.
Yeah, right?
Chris Cubis is our winner, everybody.
Made in America.
Oh, Made in America.
Big Ramon Rivas coming strong. That's a good one.
What other ones do we miss, you guys?
Schindler's List.
We forgot Schindler's List.
Who is Whoopi in Schindler's List?
She was in that red coat.
She's the one that goes,
Goodbye, Jules.
Goodbye, Jules.
The Dark Knight Rises.
Eddie.
Eddie.
Oh, damn. Eddie. Eddie, yeah. Oh, damn.
Eddie.
Girl Interrupted.
Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.
That's a thing.
Y'all would have been way better at this game than any of us.
Except for Chris.
Well, everybody can name one that we didn't name.
What?
The A-Team. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bradley Cooper. Krull. Everybody can name one that we didn't name. What?
The A-Team.
Bradley Cooper.
Krull?
Battleship, yeah.
That already came up early.
Oh, Dark Knight Rises was the one that we were trying
to get to, but
didn't quite get to.
Who's the bad guy in Batman V. King?
Ethan Froome.
Never mind.
What's his name?
Cillian Murphy.
He used to be in boring movies.
Oh, Kinsey.
Did we say that?
Oh, yeah.
Anyway.
What?
Man.
Mark Felt?
Oh, shit.
All right.
Like I said, Chris is our winner.
So, Popcorn Lady, can you come get your prizes?
Do you want to have that fellow that you cheated with come help you?
Yeah.
There's a lot to carry.
Ramon, do you want to help her out as long as you're still here?
I thought you left.
Thanks, dude.
His girlfriend's car just got stolen this weekend.
Oh, no. What? His girlfriend's car got stolen. Yeah. thanks dude oh no what
his girlfriend's car
got stolen
and you guys
were on a date
no
he's my friend
alright well
wish her luck
with her car
and congratulations
congratulations
good job
alright now we're gonna do some plugs starting with Chris Cubis and congratulations. Congratulations, friend. Good job.
All right, now we're going to do some plugs starting with Chris Cubis, our winner today.
What do you got to plug, dude?
You can check out my podcast, Canceled.
We watch TV shows that only lasted one season.
Powers of Matthew Starr is finishing up.
And then we were supposed to do the cape,
but my dog ate the SD card we recorded
all the episodes on. So now we have
to re-record them, which is going to be a little weird.
And then
I have a documentary on Amazon Prime called Chris
Gets Money, and I'm on
Twitter, at Chris Cubis on social media.
Do all those things.
Woo-woo!
Seth Herzog.
Hey! A few things. I'm in a movie called Boy Band Seth Herzog Hey
A few things
I'm in a movie called
Boy Band
That's premiering at the
Cleveland Film Festival
Next month
And will be out
Probably later this year
It's a very funny movie
With Steve Agee
And Dave Hill
And Jordan Carlos
And myself
And if you're ever in New York
I host a big weekly show
Called Sweet
At the Slipper Room
Tuesdays at 9
It's really fun.
Fun show.
And then, I don't know.
Let's just all just hang out.
Yeah.
That sounds good.
How about that for a plug?
Let's just live.
It's about life, guys.
It's about love.
It's about us.
Okay, we've already heard Ramones.
Oh, you can go to my website, blazerramone.com, for all my dates.
Okay.
And if you have any 420 juice, holler.
What does that mean?
I didn't want to just ask for weed.
But I learned from rappers that you can just be like,
yo, someone give me some weed,
and then they just pass weed up,
and then you just smoke on stage.
So I'm going to try to do that in my comedy from now on.
I mean, you can in some places, probably.
Just run it by the club first.
Yeah.
Does anybody have some weed to throw at Ramone?
Nope.
You can do that for sure.
Martha, Kelly.
Martha also wants weed
I would love
no I can't
does anyone here live in
Madison, Wisconsin or Minneapolis
Minnesota
I'll be in Madison
at the end of this month
and Minnesota
at Minneapolis the third week of May
and then the last two episodes
of this season of Baskets
are this Tuesday
and the following Tuesday
great plugs
Douglas Movies is back
in Los Angeles
at the Upright Citizens Brigade
Theater Franklin location
Tuesday March 27th.
Let's get the
pass down those name tags so I can read
these shitheads here at the end.
Let's have one more round of applause for all
of my guests.
Martha Kelly.
I think there's only one.
Ramon Lelevis.
Seth Herzog, and
Chris Cubis.
Timing worked out weird on that.
You guys just finished clapping before I said everybody.
Well, that's interesting.
I didn't expect that.
Oh, wow. Two of the name tags
don't have shitheads on the back.
Kaylee, do you have anyone you want me to call a shithead?
No, you can save my box, Alex, for letting me out early to see the show.
Oh, I can change this into a thank you segment?
Okay, so we got one not a shithead, the person that allowed her to come see the show.
And then thank you to not only this theater and South by Southwest,
but all the South by Southwest volunteers.
And can't wait to interrupt the fifth
in the Leprechaun series.
Master Pancake and I have mocked a Leprechaun series. Master Pancake and I have
mocked a Leprechaun
movie a year for every year on
St. Patrick's Day at the Ritz Theater.
We got, I think, two more years
to go. Next year we could do
Leprechaun Origins. Yeah, keep
making them. This is never going to end.
I think we could really just keep
milking it.
Martha's chew didn't write down a shithead either.
Okay, got it.
Alright, as always,
my early morning flight tomorrow is a shithead.
And James Pound
sitting right there is a shithead.
Play that theme song.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him foggy.
There's no room in his heart for you.
Because Doug loves movies.