Doug Loves Movies - Matt Besser, Johnathan Burns, Justin Hubbell and Dustin Ybarra guest

Episode Date: November 13, 2019

Live from the UCB Theatre, Doug welcomes Matt Besser, Johnathan Burns, Justin Hubbell and Dustin Ybarra to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. F...or a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Doug hates candy wrappers, sweet and baby sticky seeds With 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see But Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, everybody. My name is Doug and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies. Coming to you from you know where on Franklin Avenue in LACA.
Starting point is 00:00:38 It's Tuesday, November 12th, 2019. And tonight, this is, oh shit, is my microphone tweaking? Okay, here we go. Tonight I brought from the nearly sold out Doug Loves Scary Movies
Starting point is 00:00:58 tour of Three Cities. I have some Doug Loves Movies scary movies posters that I have signed and everyone tonight
Starting point is 00:01:13 who brought a name tag, even the shittiest name tag you could imagine, is going to get one of these signed posters by the great Box Brown out of Philadelphia. Hey, there's blood on the table. Yeah, did you notice that? No. Look at that right there. Disgusting. What's your name, Mia? My name is Michelle. Michelle, and you made Michelle or High Water. Michelle
Starting point is 00:01:41 or High Water. I get it. And what's yours? Jenny Jenny Given Sunday Jenny Given Sunday Nice job You get a poster Everyone over here No poster for you Sorry Who else has got a name tag?
Starting point is 00:01:54 Oh he's got one Steve and Tiffany's Infinite Playlist And Joe versus Because your name is Joe? Yeah Good job Didn't have to change shit Oh this is gonna Joe versus because your name is Joe? Yeah. Good job. Didn't have to change shit.
Starting point is 00:02:10 Oh, I think this is going to work out almost perfect. We got Jose and the Pussycats. That's a good one. Oh, yours is on your phone? Hang on a second. Let me put that one on hold. This guy went to the trouble of taking a drawing from a child.
Starting point is 00:02:28 Who's instead of Jojo Rabbit? Joshua Rabbit? Joshua. You're Josh? All right. Good job, Josh. All right. The phone one gets one.
Starting point is 00:02:37 Close enough. And what's that little piece of paper back there? Could you pass one back to her for pretending she brought some sort of name tag? And that guy's got a physical name tag on his person, so let's pass this one back to him. And I think that worked out perfect. I think I brought the perfect amount. And I'm sure the listeners love that
Starting point is 00:02:56 part. That's some riveting podcasting right there. And then straight into the plugs. Doug plugs. Saturday, Doug Loves Movies returns to the improv in San Jose. Doug Loves Movies comes to the improv in Miami for the first time ever on Saturday, November 23rd.
Starting point is 00:03:14 And yeah, and then I just didn't even bother finishing that sentence. But lots more shows coming up. Doug out to Martha Kelly, who's going to join us tonight, but she wasn't feeling well. Get better, Martha.
Starting point is 00:03:29 She's not going to listen to this. For the prize bag, I brought a very cool Nike duffel bag that I got sent to me by Amazon Original Content that's promoting Brittany Runs a Marathon. Yeah. I tried really hard to get Jillian Bell on the show to, you know,
Starting point is 00:03:51 promote the movie, but their schedule didn't allow for it, so they sent me this bag. And now it's a prize bag. And then a Douglas Movies t-shirt and from our friends at Magical Butter a rubber
Starting point is 00:04:10 tray you can make your own weed butter in. And I was just in Las Vegas had a very good time there. I went and saw America's Got Talent live. The winners of the last season all came out and did their thing.
Starting point is 00:04:26 I just brought you guys a copy of Las Vegas Magazine. Yeah. So, I think that's everything. Plus stuff brought by my guests. We've got four chairs.
Starting point is 00:04:41 Let's bring them out here. Please give it up for Justin Hubbell, Jonathan Burns, Matt Besser, and Dustin Ibarra! Listen to the crowd go nuts. Oh, there's my blood. Hot panel. This is exciting. This is a great group of dudes.
Starting point is 00:05:07 My show is an endless dude parade. I keep trying to get ladies to come on the show and then they get sick that afternoon and say I can't make it. And I'm like, why can't you just get sick when I ask you? I'll do the show next Tuesday. No, I'm going to be sick.
Starting point is 00:05:24 You know, plan ahead. Let me know in advance. Want to do the show next Tuesday? No, I'm going to be sick. Plan ahead. Let me know in advance. Let's meet the guests individually starting with a first timer on the program who goes by Justin Hubble, everybody. Comedy phenom out of Philadelphia.
Starting point is 00:05:44 Boston, I mean and no you don't do comedy I don't no Justin is here because he's here on a grant no he donated money to a charity auction on my friend Jimmy Pardo does a
Starting point is 00:06:02 podcast-a-thon and so he jumped on an auction to be a guest on Douglas Movies and the money goes to a great organization called Smile Train and how much money did you end up having to do you mind saying? No.
Starting point is 00:06:18 I mean I could go do the research and get back to you. How much did you donate? Well I remember the last bit was 420 so it was something around around 1200 out 1200 $4.20 $1200 yes to sit here right now amazingly yeah these people are right there they paid nine I paid more for less you know 1050 with service charges I think there you go
Starting point is 00:06:48 we're trying to keep the price down for you guys but Justin thank you for doing that that means that four children are going to get that surgery to repair a cleft palate and change their lives so it's very cool that you did that
Starting point is 00:07:04 very happy to do it thanks Doug cleft palate and changes lives so it's very cool that you did that. Very happy you did. Thanks Doug. Also joining us for the first time and this is such great timing because I was just talking about AGT it's Jonathan Burns everybody. What?
Starting point is 00:07:29 Thank you. I discovered Jonathan watching America's Got Talent this last summer and I was very entertained by your first performance on the show when you came out and nobody knew what to expect from what you were going to do.
Starting point is 00:07:46 Yeah, I crawled out of a suitcase that Terry Cruz rolled on the stage. So how much do you weigh, if you don't mind me asking? 134.4. That's what I ate today. I've weighed that. So that's not a bad amount for Terry Cruz to have to drag
Starting point is 00:08:02 out. Yeah, he was able to handle it. Yeah, that's very nice. I was thinking about trying to get you to do that tonight. Yeah. Like, say, hey, let's see what's in the prize bag, and open up a suitcase that I dragged out, and then you get out of it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:15 But I didn't want you to be in the normal. And then Terry Crews comes out and takes you away. Oh, my goodness. He's mine. I own this boy. Oh, don't make me choose between Doug and Terry. Oh, no. mine. I own this boy. Don't let me choose between Doug and Terry. There's no
Starting point is 00:08:29 ramps or anything to this stage, so it would have been rough. There actually is a ramp, so that's a bad excuse. There's a ramp right over there. What? All right. This isn't for the listener.
Starting point is 00:08:44 Oh, man. You really almost tricked me. what? alright this isn't for the listener oh man you really almost tricked me that's Matt Besser everybody yeah wrapping it up pot humor tell us about it I have a new stand up special
Starting point is 00:09:02 called pot humor we filmed it in Portland, Oregon, in front of a completely high audience that was able to keep getting high. Nice. There you go. Nice, right? Nice, that's right. She gets it. Yeah, she sure does. Like, you guys could be
Starting point is 00:09:17 high, but you're not going to be able to keep getting high. And most stamps will come out and you'll go, I got a funny stand-up special. I'm talking about the audience. The audience makes the... You guys are the best part of everything, right? Right? We can't do it without an audience. I didn't even do my material that night. I was so psyched about the audience.
Starting point is 00:09:45 I was just filming the audience. Finally, it's their turn to shine. Yeah. It's like I didn't have any jokes. What's up with you? I think they call that crowd work. No, but in crowd work, you do jokes. I would just move on.
Starting point is 00:10:01 You just say, how are you doing? Fine. Yeah. Yeah. crowd work you do jokes i would just move on you just and what's up how are you doing fine yeah we're gonna do this for an hour i would enjoy that yeah but my special is out right now on apple on direct tv on amazon and all those kind of vod services. Cool. Yeah, get it. Check it out. Rent it. Rate it. Pot humor.
Starting point is 00:10:28 Pot humor. Thanks, Doug. Thank you, man. Thank you for being here. You were a great guest. I only paid $900 to be here. It's only going to fix two faces. Nice.
Starting point is 00:10:44 Nice. I don't know if we're going to get two faces. Nice. Nice. I don't know if we're going to get dark and have more Terry Crews jokes. Actually, 900 would be about three and a half faces. Maybe three. Anyway. Dustin E. Barr is here! Thank you.
Starting point is 00:11:03 Dude, so glad that you were able to make it I did call you last minute Because you were filling in for Martha Kelly Do you mind if I Could you answer a question I was going to ask her? Yeah, definitely Alright, here we go What was it like working with Adam Driver
Starting point is 00:11:18 In Marriage Story? Little handsy Good guy, but I mean, come on Get with the times, buddy story? Little handsy. Good guy, but I mean, come on. Get with the times, buddy. That was my impression, too, Martin. No, I'm just kidding. You really nailed it all the way around. No, thanks for having me.
Starting point is 00:11:35 That was perfect, dude. I wasn't doing anything. What was I gonna do? I was playing VR tonight, you know? That's all. That was the plan? Yeah, pretty much. VR and chill? VR and chill, bro. Shoot some people that aren't there, these Nazi zombies,
Starting point is 00:11:51 and chill, man. But I'm doing this and this is a lot better. Well, this is... Yes. Yes. I have a question starting with Matt Besser
Starting point is 00:12:00 on the other end of the table about what you brought for the prize bag. with Matt Besser on the other end of the table about what you brought for the prize bag. Well, I brought my, may I help you, I gotta get rid of my CDs before people forget what they are. So this is my
Starting point is 00:12:16 may I help you dumb ass prank CD. My freak dance, the movie, DVD, and some matches for my pot humor special right here. There you go. That's really nice. There you go.
Starting point is 00:12:32 That's a wonderful collection of items. Ooh, several packets of matches. They'll start a fire. Yeah. I mean, are CDs flammable? Will they just be able to turn around and light these things on fire? Oh, they're just going to burn my gifts in protest
Starting point is 00:12:47 just right away? I mean, you just gave them. At least watch them first so you know you're protesting. Yeah, well, smoke them maybe. You got pyromaniacs in the making with these matches. Oh, what if I got a rumor out there? If you buy the vinyl, I made it out of hemp
Starting point is 00:13:03 and you can smoke it after you play it. Everyone gets a login infection. It's not hemp. I smoked and he told me it was cool, bro. It was made out of
Starting point is 00:13:16 just vitamin E extract only. Anyone? Yeah. Oh, what is that? Uh oh. The vapes that are killing people
Starting point is 00:13:24 it's because of you know, bad vitamin E. Whoa, vitamins are bad? Yeah. Oh, what is that? Uh-oh. The vapes that are killing people, it's because of a bad vitamin E. Whoa, vitamins are bad? Yeah, stay away from vitamins. I had a feeling. Just in a fly-by-night vape. Oh, okay. You know, you got to get your vapes from trusted sources. You know how we are when someone passes you a vape?
Starting point is 00:13:41 Oh, man. I'm going to need to see the source on this. Definitely. I'm going to need to see the source on this. I'm going to need to see some paperwork. It's like every time I ride an elevator in a hotel and it says they have the permit in the office, I go to the office.
Starting point is 00:13:54 The problem is the office is always on the top floor. You've got to use the shitty elevator to get there. It's always a catch-22, isn't it? What do you have for the prize bag, Mr. Burns? I have my prizes here. Oh, the bag says prizes on it.
Starting point is 00:14:11 That's right. I brought an official Jonathan Burns sweatband. Whoa. That's too long. I have an official Jonathan Burns action figure. Really? Is it like a stretch Armstrong? Yes, it does.
Starting point is 00:14:24 It stretches and bends. Check that out. It's also a kid. And I brought, just for your audience, a wallet. Ooh, that's fancy. Inside there, there's an Arclight gift card for $25. What?
Starting point is 00:14:41 Oh my god. And a crisp $1. How thoughtful. Holy shit. Wait a minute. Is that your branded wallet? No. No.
Starting point is 00:14:53 It's just a wallet. Just a wallet. Did you steal that fucking wallet off someone? This says Mary Jones in it. This is awesome.
Starting point is 00:15:02 I want the sweatband. This is awesome. I could do some damage with this thing. Oh, the bendy guy is also sticky so you could throw it against the surface. Not quite, but yeah. But you can throw me against the surface and I stay.
Starting point is 00:15:14 I do like throwing against things, but the whole thing's cool. Thank you, Jonathan. And, you know, obviously I said that I wanted to have you come out of a suitcase at the top of the show or something, but that didn't seem practical because there's too many ramps here.
Starting point is 00:15:31 And we would sit around going, which ramp should we use? It's all ramps in here. Yeah, it's so many ramps that it would just be like a total ramp headache. I think we're on an incline right now. Yeah, no, the whole place is a ramp. Big ramp. But so I asked you if there's something else that you could do to amaze and delight the people that do come pay the $9.50 in service charges. Uh-oh, microphone's down.
Starting point is 00:15:58 Matt's also standing up. Did you ask, did you need a volunteer or something? Oh, we're going to play some tennis? Okay. Oh, no. What's happening, you guys? That is not proper use of a tennis racket. Okay. There we go. All right.
Starting point is 00:16:15 Uh-oh. He's like a racket with those kicks. Look at that. Wow. You know, there's easier ways to cure constipation. Look at that. Look at that wow you know there's easier ways to cure constipation look at that look at that wow what a racket
Starting point is 00:16:31 keep it down over there that's not how you play tennis folks Jonathan Burns everybody thank you so much be seated I love that. 40, love. Whoa.
Starting point is 00:16:52 You must feel from the ramps. When you do an act like that, how do you know when you're Wimble done? All right. Thank you for the prizes and for the entertainment. And you should have won an AGT. Thank you. They didn't think so.
Starting point is 00:17:09 What is this insanely talented blind singer doing coming in and winning when you can walk through a tennis racket? Yeah, I know. You understand what real talent is. Yeah, yeah. I saw Cody Lee. He couldn't even walk through a racquetball racket. Cody Lee is awesome, by walk through a racquetball rack Cody Lee's awesome by the way
Starting point is 00:17:27 Justin Hubble yes sir what do you got for the bag I know you already gave and gave and gave to a very good cause
Starting point is 00:17:35 oh yeah but now you also have to continue sure so to give things as a tradition on the show when I did make
Starting point is 00:17:41 that donation the folks at Smile Train and Park Castathon sent me this paperweight, POG. I don't know what you want to call it. It says Park Castathon on it. Okay. Smile Train on the back, so that corporate
Starting point is 00:17:53 trinket is... It's a good... It makes a good noise when you drop it from a distance out of the stage. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's a good weight. Oh, look. It's rolling down the ramp. Man. These ramps are going to be the death of us. Who built this place? And I also brought from my favorite movie theater in Brookline, Massachusetts,
Starting point is 00:18:14 the Coolidge Corner Theater, a T-shirt. Thank you. Coolidge Corner. I got to check that place out sometime. Yeah, it's lovely. I'm told John Hodgman used to work there. So, you know, just that alone. Okay. It's lovely. I'm told John Hodgman used to work there. Just that alone.
Starting point is 00:18:32 For my other favorite movie theater, the Brattle in Harvard Square, I have this Jim Jarmusch pin. It appears to be a limited edition numbered on the back. It's in a really limited condition. Jim Jarmusch. I like a good Jim Jarmusch pin. It says, life has no plot. Why must films or fiction? There's an excuse.
Starting point is 00:18:54 I'll wear that to my next pitch meeting. That didn't make as good a noise this time. And just a few more things. This is a copy of The Killing Joke Yes Which they did make a movie out of From my personal collection Read this on the plane right out here
Starting point is 00:19:15 Same author as Watchmen In case you didn't know Submitted without comment Is a VHS copy of Jamie Foxx's Booty Call I refer to it as Tommy Davidson's Booty Call Yeah It's really the
Starting point is 00:19:31 To each his own Of course But it fits with the theme of Before They Won Oscars Because this is the Pure Adrenaline Edition Of Point Break Oh finally
Starting point is 00:19:40 A Pure Adrenaline Edition Alright The garage sale is over oh my god this DVD's got a still gallery some deleted scenes where do extras go these days when your movie has some extras no one likes DVDs
Starting point is 00:20:03 where do you see them you just put them out on the internet a week after your thing came out to give it all an extra little boost. Extra, extra. Yeah, yeah. I mean, there's still scenes from Zach's movie. Oh, that's right. The movie that seems to still keep popping up to remind people.
Starting point is 00:20:21 Because Netflix is forever. That's fun. That's a lot of fun. You know, the movie's going to be there for a long time. But what about the director's commentary? Where do directors
Starting point is 00:20:30 get to comment now? People don't care anymore. I think there's still... No, you're right. Finally. I'm going to tell my wife when I get home. I was right tonight.
Starting point is 00:20:47 You did it. Dustin, what do you got? I got, okay, I've got a t-shirt that says I Heart Nuggets. I think I give this, I give it away every time because I have too many of them and they don't sell it to the show.
Starting point is 00:21:02 Yeah, it's a tough sell because people just don't want to They don't show. Yeah. It's a tough sell because people just don't want to. They don't like nuggets. Commit to nuggets. Yeah, exactly. But I've got. Does it work for Denver chicken and weed? Only chicken.
Starting point is 00:21:13 I'm sorry. Yeah. Very specific. T-shirt, Matt. Check it out. You can't wear it on Sundays. No. I got.
Starting point is 00:21:21 It's chicken. I got the most. I got the. Dude, I got chicken. I got the most. I got the hardest thing to get into it to get in America right now. I got a Popeye's chicken sandwich.
Starting point is 00:21:35 Spicy. I killed three people to get that tonight. Why is it so hard to get? I don't know. People like it, I guess. Dude, you guys are so lucky, too, because I was eating. I got two for me, and I was eating my
Starting point is 00:21:51 first one. I got a text from Doug, and I'm like, I gotta give away the Popeyes, too. I gotta put this in the prize bag. I didn't want to, but I was like, it's the right thing to do. Yeah, I mean, I'm glad I didn't catch you when you had a lot of money in your hands or something. I know.
Starting point is 00:22:08 I gotta do it. You gotta do the right thing sometimes. Oh, doesn't that hurt your throat speaking? A little bit, yeah, yeah, sometimes. I got some red beans and rice in my sock. I did get red beans and rice, too. How can you not? They barely filled it up.
Starting point is 00:22:29 Come on, Popeyes. Anyway, yeah. I put it in the refrigerator, too, so you won't get food poisoning, you know. Yeah, eat it right away. Yeah. Or you might. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:22:41 You put it in the microwave for like 20 minutes or something. Get those pot humor matches Warming right up Oh yeah They're edible I hear Oh no You don't even have to go home Before you have a hot sandwich
Starting point is 00:22:57 Some dude burned a sandwich In the middle of Franklin What are you writing? I put a little Well there's a mark. It says classic or spicy. And so they know which one it is. They mark, you know, spicy.
Starting point is 00:23:10 But I made the same mark on classic. So when the person wins this, when they look at it tomorrow, they'll go, which one is it? You're like the Joker. I hope it's not spicy. Spicy. That's how it's going to play out. There was a mouse trap in there?
Starting point is 00:23:30 Because everyone here is so fucked up tonight, they're not going to remember shit. That's my crowd. Yeah, these people get high during the show, right? You bastards. Yeah, edibles. Edibles and vapes, man do it a lot of vitamin e some people are just doing vitamin e why i don't even do any vitamins just in case i do straight
Starting point is 00:23:56 e man i'll do e for hours i'll watch a kardashian's Just doing E, feeling yourself, watching Magnum ice cream bar commercials. Oh, man. Is that every sponsor on E's for that shit?
Starting point is 00:24:12 There's a lot of Magnum ice cream bar on E. There's a lot of commercials for it. It's a subliminal message, I think. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:24:20 I'm going to smoke some magnesium. Snort a bit of red yeast rice. Fish oil. Yeah. Oh, fish oil. I love that expression.
Starting point is 00:24:39 Lay down with fish oil. What was the last movie you saw, Matt? Sorry to spring that on you. I've been at documentaries lately. I think the last one I saw was that, what's it called? Echo in the Canyon that Jacob Dillon, you know. People making music in Laurel Canyon. Yeah, that's what it was all about.
Starting point is 00:25:02 Oh, I thought it was about someone who got like lost in a canyon like 127 hours or something at first that's what it sounded like go in the canyon that's what I wanted it to be just some dude yelling but no it was fucking Tom Petty was he stuck in the canyon?
Starting point is 00:25:20 David Crosby it was almost that boring as someone yelling into a canyon. Because it's pretty much like there was a lot of music, great music created by people who are living in this specific area of Laurel Canyon.
Starting point is 00:25:35 And you think you're going to watch the documentary and find out, oh, what was it about this area? But really it was just like, hey man, a lot of us lived up there and we're good at music and that was that's the mystery at the end but what else did i want you know what did i want to get from that you get in one sitting you find out what exactly what all the music was that came out of that area and then the next time you're trying to get out to the valley
Starting point is 00:26:02 quickly and it's all backed up and you're really sitting there and you're angry, you'll think of the movie and it'll make you even angrier. I know. And then I'll go, wait, I live in the valley. What am I doing? Trying to get out. Trying to get home. Yeah, always.
Starting point is 00:26:16 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, man. It's a predicament, that getting to and from the valley. Yeah, you just got to teach your children children well this is when you guys join in did you see that movie in the theater where they have like those reclining seats like like the lazy boys uh because i'm doing it now yeah because you're reenacting it no because um i i don't think i'd be able to stay awake during that movie if I was too comfortable. Well, I see all movies in my bed these days.
Starting point is 00:26:51 Sorry, folks. Because I've got to be fucking when I'm watching a movie. And I fuck for exactly 90 minutes, so it works out perfectly. Oh, well, all these movies, so many movies these days are over two hours long. I know, it's embarrassing when I come 90 minutes into a two hour
Starting point is 00:27:10 movie and I'm like, I'm sorry honey. I couldn't help it, you're so sexy. I can't last through these Oscars. Nominees. Let's talk to Jonathan about his last movie watching experience
Starting point is 00:27:32 in any format yeah I saw El Camino on Netflix okay one clap alright yeah
Starting point is 00:27:39 it was fun and I thought it was one of those movies that they could have ruined the whole thing but it turned out all right. Yeah, it didn't ruin our childhood or any of that noise. But it was also, it just stayed true to the thing.
Starting point is 00:27:54 It was almost like the bonus episodes or something, like what Matt's talking about. Like it's just an additional feature to kind of go along with the... It was good action. It was a good... So they didn't ruin too much of what story we might have wanted to hold on to. It was just a good action movie. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:15 It's a good fit for the Star Wars universe. Is that what Adam Driver told you on the set? I call him Kylo, but yeah. Do any of you guys have Disney Plus? I got it today. Yeah? Yeah. I spent all day watching racist cartoons from the 20s and Mandalorian, you know?
Starting point is 00:28:40 That's mostly why people are getting it, I hear. Just for the racist cartoons from the 20s Steamboat Willie the south isn't on there, but is it really racist cartoons? That's right here I have it. I was there like from back in the day. What'd you really watch? I love Mandalorian I watched that short with Forky from Toy Story 4. Ah see I haven't seen Toy Story 4 I don't want it to get ruined. You know, I don't think it will ruin I haven't seen Toy Story 4. I don't want it to get ruined, you know?
Starting point is 00:29:04 I don't think it will ruin it. I don't know. Shoot! Bless you. Oh, jeez. Thank you. You're okay, bro. Fake sneeze. You literally said,
Starting point is 00:29:13 Just to get out of this conversation. Ah-choo. I'm tired of talking to Dustin. I'm going to pretend to sneeze. Cough, cough, ah-choo. What are you, my dad? Come on. Cough, cough cough fart achoo
Starting point is 00:29:28 I think I'm allergic to maybe that blood on the table over there yeah there's a lot of blood on the table this is a good Doug Loves Movies you've obviously
Starting point is 00:29:37 never killed anyone that's a lot you gotta get rid of it was it weird like being so you know just
Starting point is 00:29:50 scenes with just you and Adam Driver was that a weird experience for you it was yeah I worked with Matt Damon before so it was kind of
Starting point is 00:29:59 on the same level you know really both handsy no I'm just kidding no no great guy kidding no I'm not great guy great guy
Starting point is 00:30:08 okay I won't bring it up again because it's because the NDA I had to sign yeah oh I was just
Starting point is 00:30:14 gonna bring it up again oh the worst place to talk about these issues is a panel of all dudes oh
Starting point is 00:30:20 oh yeah someone just did something somebody's gonna step in someone was upset over there. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:26 No, they're just excited about their Doug Lowe's Scary Movies poster. Ooh. Yeah. All right. Look at these posters. People really do win at Doug Lowe's movies. Justin, what was the last movie you saw?
Starting point is 00:30:39 You know, I intended to have something more current, but on the plane ride out here was the last movie I saw. It was Big Lebowski. That's a great one. Great reason, you know, always a good reason to bring up Big Lebowski, just to, you know, anybody who still hasn't seen it, which is
Starting point is 00:30:54 probably lots of... Who's that? Whatever the generation's called now. Millennials, whatever. No, we're on to a new one. What's that? There's a new one now, though. Yeagers. Boomy boom booms.
Starting point is 00:31:09 Well, the Z's have to familiarize themselves with Walter Sobchak immediately. Well, here's a question, though. I know you're not a lawyer, Justin, but isn't Big Lebowski as a 20th Century Fox movie, isn't one of those titles that since Disney now owns it they're sitting on it
Starting point is 00:31:29 in a vault and you can't see it in revival houses it's been playing for the last however many years as a lawyer? I don't know as someone pretending to be a lawyer you're absolutely right you played that perfectly
Starting point is 00:31:48 Dustin? Yeah Same question, no What was the last movie you saw? I saw The Mule With Clint Eastwood Yeah, where he was a drug runner Now what did you
Starting point is 00:32:04 Eugene Cordera Hope to get from that experience? Like, why did you pick The Mule? Well, I was on the plane, and I had some time. And it was free. You got to pick a plane movie. Yeah, and it was like right there. And I was like, ah, Clint Eastwood, you know. Was that uncensored?
Starting point is 00:32:20 Yeah, they take language out? No, in fact, there was like two threesomes in the movie, man. Did anyone... I have heard this about this movie. Bro, that's six. I'm not good with math. And which one is the mule involved with? Which type does the mule get in on your show?
Starting point is 00:32:39 I think that's because his balls are like... Crawl in my asshole, baby. Sneak across the border. Crawl in my asshole, baby. Sneak across the border. Clint Eastwood's a genius because there's rarely sex scenes in his films, especially the characters he plays
Starting point is 00:32:52 where they have sex on camera. But now that he's 80-something, he's going for it. Yeah, he's like, I want a baby shit. You never saw the good, the bad, and the fugly? I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:33:04 That was a great joke, sure. I mean, there's a lot of sex in Sully. American Sniper. Whoa, Justin. It's getting doody up in here. Oh, yeah. Did you like it, Dustin?
Starting point is 00:33:26 Yeah, I really liked it. Every time I look at an old person, I'm like, I bet you they've got drugs on them. That's why they're walking slow, because they've got a joint in their butt cheeks. Old people definitely all have drugs on them. They're just usually in pillboxes. Like hard medications. It was good, though. Yeah, it was pretty good. Like hard medications. It was good though and yeah,
Starting point is 00:33:45 it was pretty good. I liked it. Was his character as racist as he was in the other one? Gran Torino? I think it was about equally racist.
Starting point is 00:33:54 He's always like, I don't even, that's probably all just improv too. It's not even in the script. Mexicans over here. Smell like tortillas.
Starting point is 00:34:03 Like, okay, man. Just go with it. He's improv and he's a legend. And action. Okay, man. Just go with it. He's improv-ing. He's a legend. And action. Keep us rolling. Let's just go.
Starting point is 00:34:10 Oh, what are you talking about? I just got here. I'm eating my tamales. Jeez, man. He doesn't, at most, two takes of anything. That's right here. That's his claim to fame.
Starting point is 00:34:20 He brags about it. Some of his movies aren't that great. Maybe a third take would have really been what it would need when you're 85 you can't take a third take you don't know if you can you'll be around the third takes usually called the fun takes he's like no fun in my movies it's so old mannish yeah but i hear yeah i think he like rolls in at like 9 a.m and then wraps at 5 no matter what like he's he makes sure it's an easy shoot i hear rob reiner does that too like uh as a director in a cool way it's like we're done by noon i don't give a shit you want to work with me
Starting point is 00:35:01 we work six hour days it just sounds crazy I like it yeah it sounds crazy awesome hey Rob we'll work for you someone fact check that we're running a little past the point where I should be asking this but it's my favorite question to ask everybody and I'll just I'll throw it up at everybody especially Justin do you guys do any impressions does anybody got a good impression they could lay on me and do a little Bane oh no Justin's gonna step up with some Bane I think I can handle it go ahead Justin theatricality and deception powerful agents of the uninitiated that sounds like he's ordering drive-thru
Starting point is 00:35:51 of course I want fries do you want anything else in that? I would like I can't see the menu it's in the shadows. Anybody else? That was a good one, Justin. Thank you. I do Christopher Walken's Dog.
Starting point is 00:36:16 Oh, I like it already. Bow. Wow. Wow. Yeah, I like that. I like that I like that The two different The two sounds of walking Now what made you decide to go with
Starting point is 00:36:35 Crawling through a tennis racket Instead of that when you were on America's Got Talent There's always next year Okay Oh can you do that really You'd go back again Come back as an impressionist No I don't think anyone's done that.
Starting point is 00:36:45 Oh, you should do walking in the tennis racket. You know? That'd be kind of good. Yeah. A double thing. Yeah, nice. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:55 You're not going to do it. You're just being nice to me. You should follow up and make him do it. I'm going to. You're moving me, bro. You said you were going to do walking through the tennis racket.
Starting point is 00:37:08 What have you got, Matt? I do impressions. Just not on request. You slip them in and nobody's expecting them. Yeah, I'm going to work them in later and then you guys will go Oh, fuck! I want to do an impression of you doing that.
Starting point is 00:37:29 Oh, fuck! Nailed it. You guys didn't know, but that was a perfect John McEnroe not agreeing with the call. If you were holding the tennis racket maybe yeah that's one I was I do yes I do an Aquaman hey okay visual it was really awesome bro I can't get
Starting point is 00:38:07 a red lobster dude that's so great I have a linguine from Ratatouille as well uh oh oh fuck you
Starting point is 00:38:15 yeah Yeah. I'm waiting for the twins remake when they do that, man. Gotta get in on that. Me and Momoa, you know? Oh, that is a good idea, but you know the joke of twins was that they didn't look anything alike. Are you sure? He repitches it. I'm pretty sure, yeah. This time, they look alike! didn't look anything like they're both really good-looking Oh, they both have that glorious hair.
Starting point is 00:39:07 Yeah, man. Yeah. That's expensive conditioner, bro. 60 bucks. Well, all I can say when I see you do that impression is give me Momoa. Who else do you do? I don't know. That's pretty much it.
Starting point is 00:39:26 What about like Belushi? You could probably do eyebrows. You could probably Belushi it. Oh, there they go. You're a little Jack Black. Oh, Jack Black. No, no, no, no, no. Do it into the microphone.
Starting point is 00:39:41 Because the voice is good. But the listeners don't care about the head. No, man, we, no, man. We've got to go rock, bro. We've got to go. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. It's always a
Starting point is 00:39:52 no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Ned Schneebly is one of my favorite names ever. All right, this is the part where I say, let the games begin! Gentlemen, we've got name tags. Ten of them. One's on a phone.
Starting point is 00:40:18 I need you to each go select which one you'd like to play on behalf of today. And they might win all the prizes. Pick somebody that looks smart, because you might need their help later. I've said too much. We'll be right back. Ho, ho, ho, everybody. It's that time of year again. Twelve Guests of Christmas East and West Coast editions are coming up. Which coast will be the most fun? New York City Sunday December 1st at 8 o'clock at the Good Old Gramercy on 23rd and Lex and Los Angeles on
Starting point is 00:40:55 Thursday December 12th at 8 o'clock at Largo at the Coronet on La Cienega near Beverly all your favorite guests and some new surprises go to Doug loves movies calm for tickets and may all your Christmas's be wider than a mile back to the show we're back that was very exciting. Very heated exchange. Doug, I have to say something about last time I got a sign. Yes, sir? I was on here with Dave Foley last time, and he had, if you remember, someone put one of those $150 dosits on there. Do you remember that? Yes. Yeah. Yeah, a nice pen.
Starting point is 00:41:47 And he was like, Dave's like, I don't smoke. Bastard, you, he gave it to me. I took that home. It didn't work. What? I knew something was fishy. It was too good to be true. So you think they intentionally gave away a broken
Starting point is 00:42:03 or an already empty vape pen? It wasn't empty. That was the thing, though. That's what it was. It was just broke. It was just broke.
Starting point is 00:42:11 Yeah. Man, that was a bummer. And I was going to give that to my daughter. Who are you playing on behalf of this time? Did they tape anything
Starting point is 00:42:23 to the new tape? Oh, that's the only reason I grabbed it. Joshua Rabbit. Joshua Rabbit. I don't know what else to say. And what was the glue to it?
Starting point is 00:42:31 Oh, a bunch of candy. Oh, tons of candy. Yeah, okay. No weed this time, though. Looks like some butter or something. What is this? Butter? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:42:39 Put like a cube of butter on there, Joshua? Jelly? What is that? Honey mustard. Oh, it's honey mustard from... Hot mustard from hot mustard for dunking your nuggets. Oh, it's for the show.
Starting point is 00:42:49 It could go with a sandwich. Oh. Was this meant for him because of the nuggets? Oh, no. No. How would he know that that was going to happen?
Starting point is 00:42:58 But it's just all candy and then just hot mustard. There's a little something odd about that. It's not like you're eating candy and you go, I wish I had a little hot mustard to put in. There's a little something odd about that. It's not like you're eating candy. I wish I had a little hot mustard to put in. He's the most interesting house to go to on his block. The kids are
Starting point is 00:43:11 excited. Maybe one of us will get the hot sauce. Who wants the hot mustard tonight? Alright, kids. Stay away from that man. Boy, I mostly have candy, but one out of ten kids gets a little hot mustard.
Starting point is 00:43:33 Sir, the costume, I get the hockey mask, but the no pants, I've never seen that before. Which character is that supposed to be? Doug Benson fan. Let's do it, Joshua Rabbit.
Starting point is 00:43:52 Too bad I know nothing about movies. Jonathan's playing for Joe versus the volcano. Yeah, and your head is the end O. Yeah, I'm the O in volcano, as it should be. Which you played in the original, right? That was the O. Yeah, I'm the O in Volcano, as it should be. Which you played in the original, right? I was the O. So yeah, I guess I'm playing for Joe. Joe.
Starting point is 00:44:12 Joe. Thanks, Joe. Do you have a fondness of that particular movie? Is that why you picked it? I don't know if I've ever seen this movie. Oh, it's a good one. I do like a Tom Hanks, and I've seen many of the others. That's good.
Starting point is 00:44:23 It's very odd. Yeah, it's got an odd of the others. That's good. It's very odd. Yeah, it's got an oddness to it. Top five volcano movies. For sure. It's up there with Dante's Peak and Volcano. Oh, I wouldn't even put Volcano in the top five volcano movies. Are there even five volcano movies? Krakatoa, East of Java.
Starting point is 00:44:41 Beverly Hills Ninja. Momoa has a volcano right I think so Yeah might as well It's in pre-production Yeah sure Pompeii Isn't Mothra born Hercules
Starting point is 00:44:54 Godzilla But yeah Dante's Peak That's the one That's the movie If you want to see An old lady weighed into lava Oh yeah That's right that's right that
Starting point is 00:45:05 that's right though grandma yeah it's bad that was tough watching as a kid i remember thinking like looking at my grandma like i hope you don't die in a volcano but if you do that'd be fucking cool you know i'm just saying old people can go out a lot of ways that's yeah it's usually virgins though so so joe versus joe versus the volcano thank you justin who you got yeah i have uh steve and tiffany's infinite playlist and uh i believe uh steve is here tonight on behalf of tiffany yeah it appears uh you all newlyweds uh oh no like, like two years maybe. Two years. Yeah. Where is she tonight? She's at home watching Disney.
Starting point is 00:45:52 She's got her hobbies and he has his hobbies coming to see this. You've diverged that soon after the marriage. Has she ever come with you? Has she ever come with you to a show? She came once, but there was complications. She came once and there was ticket complications with the tickets. She came once, and there was ticket complications. So now she'll never come again, because she's terrified of complications. It's just not her cup of tea. It's not her cup of tea.
Starting point is 00:46:13 You say ticket complications. It sounds like one of the tickets died. There's been a complication with your ticket. It came out. It was a printing issue. I see your last name is Straw. Has there been a big blowback since the Straws are banned in most cities now?
Starting point is 00:46:31 That is a very incisive question. Well, look for that blowback. You don't want to miss it when a blowback happens. Yeah. Especially from your wife. You don't want to miss it when blowback happens. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:44 Especially from your wife. Dustin, who are you playing for? You will not see that joke on Disney+, folks. You will not. Applications. I was trying to figure out something with straw and blowback, but I couldn't figure it out. Okay, I got it. Jose and the pussy cats
Starting point is 00:47:05 yeah I'm filling in for Tara Reid on that poster I like that Sam Levine is Rosario Dawson you should go blonde
Starting point is 00:47:14 Doug I feel like that's a good look for you I think it wouldn't be bad yeah I think I could get away with it or at least get cat ears you know
Starting point is 00:47:20 like in this yeah I guess that's a more temporary option because you're not talking about surgery to actually have cat ears no well i'm thinking more of the area you mean like those kind of those fun novelty ones you put on not like the cats cats ears that trailer's freaky huh
Starting point is 00:47:36 my god oh cats yeah yeah i don't know what i every time I watch it I'm transfixed Because I just don't know why It would appeal to anyone Yeah I could barely sit through The Broadway play to imagine As a Did you go? There's always a cat person
Starting point is 00:48:00 There are cats in my face Mr. Mistoffelees is in the audience right now Mr. Mistoffelees is in the audience right now. Mr. Mistoffelees. Is that how it goes? Perfect impression of Mr. Mistoffelees. I was going to do it earlier. But I said it'll come out later organically. I love Broadway.
Starting point is 00:48:22 Do you remember? Yeah, but it's funny you call cats a play. Okay, it's a musical. It's a musical with purring. Yeah. No, it's okay. You know, as a live experience, I didn't hate it. I mean, I saw it a long time ago,
Starting point is 00:48:40 so I probably dislike it more now. But that movie, holy shit. They're weird cat butts it's just weird should be rated R I mean everyone's thinking what I'm thinking right? cat sex I don't know I don't think they have any cat sex in it
Starting point is 00:49:04 I mean they didn't in the Broadway show. They just humped random audience members. They did that in Hedwig, too. Because I got humped, I know. Somebody ran up and humped you during Hedwig? Yeah, in the opening scene. They do a lap dance. Ah.
Starting point is 00:49:26 I think they do that in Hamilton, too, actually. All right, people making musicals, that's hack now. Stop humping people in the audience. Think of something else. Like throw ping-pongs at them. That would be fun. There's one seat in the house that a bunch of ping-pongs get dumped on. That would be fun. There's one seat in the house that a bunch of ping pongs get dumped on.
Starting point is 00:49:48 That would be fun. I'm getting back to my candy. Let's play some games. Yeah! Let's start with... This is something called Alex's, Jason, and Deb's IMDB game. And I particularly enjoy this game
Starting point is 00:50:06 because IMDB. Thank you very much. You know how everybody on IMDB has on their page, they have a best known for and some sort of strange algorithm. I'll pick four projects, usually movies, sometimes TV, that that person was associated with. I'm very angry about mine.
Starting point is 00:50:37 Why? What's your best known for? It was something like, I don't know if it still is, but it was, I did a video, like right when people were starting to make videos about my, and this was when MySpace existed, and I made one about MySpace Tom, and for the longest time
Starting point is 00:50:53 it was known for MySpace Tom video. Yeah, well you could get, I guess, an IMDB pro and pay money and then go in and fix your profile. I think I asked my agents about it
Starting point is 00:51:07 and they're like, no, you're MySpace Tom forever until you win an Oscar. That's where I know you from. Okay. Oh, yeah. Let's try to put it together.
Starting point is 00:51:16 Yeah. I'm calling first. Okay, so I'm going to read, you know, slowly read somebody's top four according to IMDb. And go ahead and buzz in with your own name when you think you know who it is. And if you get in there too early and guess the wrong name, then it's going to be a negative one point for you. So be careful about that.
Starting point is 00:51:44 Bonus points for additional movies you can name after you've buzzed in and answered correctly. Yeah. Okay. I can't say their names. Have you played this before, Matt? No, I haven't. Do you want to practice buzzing in? I'm not. Matt. Yeah, very good.
Starting point is 00:52:00 Buzzer works. Some people with more than one syllable in their name think that they're at a disadvantage because it takes them longer to say your name but it's just the first person that makes a noise my name was william yeah oh my god yeah i go for bill kick your ass you say william and i'll say matt check it out yeah someone has to count. Hang on. I got a Fitbit. I can put this on my... Fitbit it. How many steps is there in this bit? Okay, and go.
Starting point is 00:52:29 William! Shit, you were so fast. It was.35 as well. So fast, man. I'm Usain Bolt of saying names. Okay, so you'll say William. What are you going to say, Jonathan? I'll go John. Okay, yeah, good. That's quick. I'll stick with Justin What are you going to say, Jonathan? I'll go John.
Starting point is 00:52:45 Okay, yeah, good. That's quick. I'll stick with Justin. Justin's going to go Justin. Dustin, I'm going to need you to change it up because they're so similar. Justin and Dustin. Jason Momoa.
Starting point is 00:52:55 Yeah, that's good. You say Jason Momoa. And make one eyebrow go up. Yeah, bro. There you go. Fish. He just says fish at some point like that?
Starting point is 00:53:15 Fish. Fish. It's my three things. I love fighting fucking fish. Fucking Aquaman. Those DC movies are really dark. Who's best known for on IMDb
Starting point is 00:53:41 starts with A Walk to Remember. A Walk to Remember that movie. The next title is Tangled. Oh, I do remember that. John? John, what do you got? Mandy Moore?
Starting point is 00:54:00 Mandy Moore is correct. Yes, sir. I forgot the rules for a second. I thought he was just guessing John. Is John in those movies? John that movie. All right. So John Utham gets one for that.
Starting point is 00:54:28 And there's two more in the best known four. If you can name one or both of them, you get extra points. And it can be TV sometimes, right? It can be. I'm going to go This Is Us. And I don't know what else she's been in she was in This Is Us 2 T-O-O
Starting point is 00:54:54 episode 2 strangely I don't know why this happened no This Is Us is clearly very much her best known for but was clearly very much your best known for but they went with saved exclamation point oh the yeah that's oh yeah and chasing liberty that around that time there was two competing daughter of the
Starting point is 00:55:16 president movies she was in one of the one that didn't have Michael Keaton and what saves that a cannibal movie mm-hmm wasn't that also a competing movie at the time like soccer team eating each other how alive yeah see I'm not sick I don't think anymore has been around that long all right so that means that Jonathan is on the board with one point, but this is still anybody's game. Oh, my God. This is exciting. It's intense.
Starting point is 00:55:47 It's unbearable. Next round. Who's best known for begins with a film called Far From Heaven. Far From Heaven. And then the next one is. This is like a walk to remember. The Day After Tomorrow. Oh, that's Thursday. and then the next one is it's just like a walk to remember the day after tomorrow ah that's Thursday
Starting point is 00:56:08 Daniel Craig Matt Matt says Daniel Craig is that not a that is not a James Bond movie oh it does sound like it day after tomorrow the day after tomorrow
Starting point is 00:56:23 tomorrow never dies. Is what you would be looking for in a James Bond title. So that's negative one for you, Matt. No, I'm in a hole. You can get out of this. You can get out of this. The third title. Frequency.
Starting point is 00:56:42 Jason. Jason, did you get any of the head adjusted? Oh, did I yeah I think so no close was tight Dennis Quaid Dennis Quaid is correct yeah man there he is on the board now you get one shot at an extra point all right if you could name the one other Dennis Quaid opus. Was it the e-surance commercials? He's good. Those are interesting commercials. He has to run around and do a bunch of things. All in one take.
Starting point is 00:57:15 Looks like it. But that's not it. That's your only guess? You know, Dennis Quaid. He did a movie with our friend toe for grace called in good company yeah scar Jo was in that as well I am you may have heard of her yes my favorite of all the characters in the Lion King. One point for Dustin. One point for Jonathan.
Starting point is 00:57:48 Matt's in the hole. Justin's alright. Right there in the middle. Oh man, I'm freaking out. My fucking heart rate on my Fitbit is insane right now. Oh man. What does it say, like 98, 99?
Starting point is 00:58:07 Let's see here. Three minutes ago it was at 92. I'll give you an update. I was so focused on how much I liked the candy that I'm not pulling through with the answers. I'm so sorry. I'm going to shout something out early in this round. I should have mentioned at the top of the show
Starting point is 00:58:27 we have a new feature on the program. We can hear the thoughts of my guests. Guest commentary. Just when you thought DVD extras were gone. What's the guest thinking during the show? Why'd I give away that sandwich? What's the guest thinking during the show? Why'd I give away that sandwich?
Starting point is 00:58:50 Man, I bet he could have taped more candy to this poster. Okay, whose best known for starts with The Dark Knight. Oh, and a theme emerges, usually. The Dark Knight is the first title. Bad movie. The Dark Knight is the first title. Bad movie. The second title is Thank You for Smoking. Justin. Who is it, Justin? Aaron Eckhart. That is correct.
Starting point is 00:59:16 Justin is on the board. Yes! Thank you. Great work, Justin. You get two more shots and extra points for the films of Aaron Eckhart. Something about wine. Okay, let me look and see.
Starting point is 00:59:34 No, I don't see that here. I'll say Battle Los Angeles. Saddle? Battle. Battle? Oh, Battle Los Angeles? Yeah. The Saddle for Los Angeles.
Starting point is 00:59:44 Saddle Los Angeles. Everybody jump on. We're getting out of here. Climb on. I want to see something about wine with Tommy Davidson. Any other guesses? It's tough. Something where he's cooking.
Starting point is 00:59:58 Yeah, I don't have any AX. In the Company of Men. That's sort of the movie that exposed us to him initially. He played a real creepy dude. Oh, like us right now. Yeah. Wait, what? And then he's one of the scientists that tries to go to the middle of the earth in The Core.
Starting point is 01:00:17 They always try to do it. Never works. Doesn't count as a volcano movie just because it has magma and lava in it, though. It's arguable, though. I don't know. It doesn't count as a volcano movie just because it has magma and lava in it, though. It's arguable, though. I don't know. It doesn't erupt. If I see a volcano movie with no magma, I mean, if we're talking magma,
Starting point is 01:00:33 we'll just put it on the list of magma movies. I want to see a volcano finished. We won't put it on the volcano list. I disagree. I think that's just too on the nose. I like a subtle lava movie where you have to go to the magma. Oh, no.
Starting point is 01:00:49 I like a Peter North fucking volcano. Slinging magma left and right. Like the apocalypse. That's what I liked in my 20s. I grew out of that. What a horrible excuse. Don't worry about it. It's just magma. Anyway.
Starting point is 01:01:12 This is our final round unless we need a tiebreaker. We might need a tiebreaker because you guys. We got a three way tie going. I could still pull this out if I got it right and named four movies. Well that would be overkill. You don't even need that much. You just need to got it right and named four movies. Oh, yeah. Well, that would be overkill. You don't even need that much.
Starting point is 01:01:26 You just need to get it right and name two more. Okay. It's going to be someone from the company of men. To tie, you just need two. The first title is The Phantom of the Opera. Another musical. The Phantom of the Opera. Another musical. The Phantom of the Opera is here to blow your mind.
Starting point is 01:01:52 Oh, fuck. What? Oh, man. Oh, fuck. Oh, that was. Thank you. Wow. Yeah, this really blew him away.
Starting point is 01:02:01 He was really impressed. Steve's got something to put on his playlist. You have something to tell your wife about tonight. You gotta come, honey. Tiffany, guess what's for breakfast? Do it again? I missed it. What'd you do?
Starting point is 01:02:21 No, it's so perfect the first time. No way. I guess I'll just have to go back and listen to it. Play the tape. I just keep looking at this guy in the hoodie in the front row and I'm just wondering if E.T. got back safely. He had such a
Starting point is 01:02:42 trying to get E.T. back home look. Okay. The first one was Phantom of the Opera. Second title, Hard Candy. Oh, says the audience. I love candy.
Starting point is 01:03:02 Hard though? Hard candy? Not as much. Maybe a jolly rancher, but it's never a fucking jolly rancher. It's always just like old person hard candy. Yeah, that's why you gotta dip it in hot mustard.
Starting point is 01:03:18 Just dip it in a little hot mustard. It makes it not so hard. That's the secret. Stay away from my children, sir. What? I'm telling them the secret to hard candy. It's not even Halloween. Matt, if you get this
Starting point is 01:03:36 one on the next if you get it on the next one and then name one more movie, the first movie is then you will you will create a four-way tie. That's definitely happening yeah the third title is Insidious
Starting point is 01:03:49 Jason Momoa what do you got Jason gosh I think this is I I know one of the one of the Thomas Patrick
Starting point is 01:04:00 Patrick Thomas no Patrick Wilson you You're in the ballpark. You gotta buzz in first, though. Matt Besser? William? Patrick Wilson? Patrick Wilson is correct.
Starting point is 01:04:17 Out of nowhere! You thought I was out of it! Unfair! You thought I was just. You say unfair. Fuck you. Who are you? You thought I was checked out with the candy. Patrick Wilson.
Starting point is 01:04:37 Okay, so if you could name one more Patrick Wilson joint, then you will make it a four-way tie. Actually, I'm a huge fan of his. This is extremely exciting. Wasn't he in The Haunting? I'm going to say that, The Haunting.
Starting point is 01:04:56 We're all judging you quietly. Was he not in that? The Haunted. It depends on what you mean by that. That's the tricky thing about game shows he was in some fucking movie where him and his wife had a ghost in the house insidious oh i remember the title we have a ghost in the house jojo rabbit that's the new title
Starting point is 01:05:25 for Ghost Dad they just changed it to we have a ghost in the house and they Bill Cosby's cut ended from the movie entirely
Starting point is 01:05:32 so it's just people walking around talking about a ghost you've never seen Oh it gets really sad Who picked you up from practice dad? It just looks like
Starting point is 01:05:43 an insane family I'm sorry dude I'm not good Who picked you up from practice? Dad. It just looks like an insane family. I'm sorry, dude. I'm not good at this kind of thing. Yeah, you were really, it was really exciting. I know it was. I think you're on to exactly what it is, but you just don't have the right title. It's called, like, The Haunted House. I hated the movie.
Starting point is 01:06:03 I turned it off. What do they have going on there like it's sort of a haunting didn't I say the haunting didn't I say that I think you said that but I said something different the haunting yeah that's not right either it's something like that though
Starting point is 01:06:21 I'm looking right at it I guess I should just go ahead and say it's the conjuring yeah you totally knew you knew what you were talking about you just didn't you just didn't know what was that movie where he ended up wasn't he like a pedophile or something what was his first movie Hard Candy he's Ellen Page ties him up because he was a pedophile that's what I'm thinking about
Starting point is 01:06:51 yeah that wasn't his first movie though what was his first big one people in the audience have opinions Angels in America that's what I'm thinking I thought you said
Starting point is 01:07:01 Angels in the Outfield I'm like how fucking old is this guy he was a little boy. Yeah, that was the first time I saw him. And it was early. Louise Parker. Mary Louise Parker.
Starting point is 01:07:16 And Justin Kirk was in it. Angels in America movie is really good. The one on HBO, right? Yeah. It's a good show, too. I saw it again on Broadway the last time they revived it with Nathan Lane. I didn't know it was
Starting point is 01:07:30 in a comedy, and I got kicked out of the live one. It's got funny parts. It's not entirely serious. I was like, when is someone going to hump my leg alright so we need to find a winner and
Starting point is 01:07:55 Matt's the only one that's out of this at this point I got one, oh I'm zero now yeah you're up to zero so that's not that's not going to do it. We're going to do a tiebreaker between Dustin, Justin, and Jonathan
Starting point is 01:08:09 Thursdays on ABC. Three guys who know a little bit about movies forced to live together. I'm the messy one. I live in a suitcase. Bro, what do you do in my suitcase? I put my chicken sandwiches in here.
Starting point is 01:08:41 What the fuck? Justin's like... I call Top Punk. Now I know why you have that red wallet. You couldn't fit in it. Now you're giving it away, right? Tiebreaker. How long did you have to be in that suitcase? A few minutes. few minutes does that matter
Starting point is 01:09:08 could you be in there for a really long time or would you have trouble getting out because your legs would fall asleep you sort of lose oxygen after a while I get all steamed up oh right I can breathe out of the zipper but that really did trick everybody
Starting point is 01:09:24 when Terry Crews pulled the suitcase out. The judges were genuinely surprised that a whole person got out of there. Yeah, they weren't expecting that. A tall person, too. It makes it even more amazing. It's not like you're small. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:36 They just thought Terry was heading to the airport. Like, the show just started. Yeah, I could just see Simon just being like, what the fuck is Terry? Why with the goddamn luggage? There's a dressing room. What an idiot. Yeah. And could just see Simon just be like, what the fuck is Terry? Why with the goddamn luggage? There's a dressing room. What an idiot. And then you pop out. Boy, did he feel dumb. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:51 Felt foolish. Yeah. Who's your favorite judge? My favorite judge? Howie was lovely. He enjoyed you the most? Yeah, he seemed to be happy about me he likes a winning smile yeah I'm more of a Ruth Bader of all the judges she's probably
Starting point is 01:10:14 your number one yeah a little more important to America Judy's for years out there pretty important all right well I always we settled that yes this is for all this is gonna determine the winner this is how fastly the time is gone. Our time is almost up. Wow. I can't wait to get home and eat this candy. Which one are you going to eat first? Which is your favorite of the candies? Oh, on the way home, I'm going to eat one of the sucking candies. Oh, that's a good call. That made everybody very unhappy. And then bite into a chocolate right inside into the house. Why are you doing that voice?
Starting point is 01:11:07 Why are you being so creepy about your sucking candy? Because it's all going to be in my mouth. I'm going to put like two or three in there at the same time, different flavors. And then I'm going to put the whole hot mustard in there. Just squeeze it into my mouth. And just suck on it.
Starting point is 01:11:25 And give my wife a big kiss when I walk in the door. Say I'm the king of the podcast. Honey, let's have sex while we watch a movie. Oh, I should remind you, Matt, that you're not in this now. You've just said it out loud. So, first one of you
Starting point is 01:11:45 That was a hard one Don't focus on me guys Win it to win it Don't be distracted Alright so between Dustin, Justin and Jonathan Whoever buzzes in first And gets it right Is going to win this thing
Starting point is 01:12:04 And the theme has emerged We got Manny Moore, Dennis Quaid whoever buzzes in first and gets it right is going to win this thing. Oh, man. And the theme has emerged. We've got Manny Moore, Dennis Quaid, Aaron Eckhart, Patrick Wilson, and this final one whose top four begins with True Detective. Oh, it's happening. Second title. This will give it away. second title this will give it away people vs. Larry Flynn
Starting point is 01:12:31 Justin Woody Harrelson that is correct Justin is our winner that was really close for no extra points he also included natural born killers and the first zombie land close. But no extra points. He also included Natural Born Killers and the first Zombieland.
Starting point is 01:12:49 Yeah. Good for keeping those Hunger Games out of your top four, Woody. If you are listening, Woody. Shia LaBeouf says hi to everybody, by the way. He's a fan of Douglas movies.
Starting point is 01:13:03 I know, right? He's been a couple of Douglas movies I know right he's been a couple of times I guess and no way yeah yeah he gave me his number what is it It's 1-800-HONEYBOY. I don't know about that. I think you'll get him. I think you'll get him if you call 1-800-HONEYBOY. 1-900-HONEYBOY. Oh, is that the right?
Starting point is 01:13:35 I don't know how those work anymore. I didn't know they still did those things. So Steve, congratulations. You got some stuff to bring home to Tiffany. There you go, dude. This is going to be a reason for her to come to the show next time. All this loot. That's not my cup of tea.
Starting point is 01:14:02 Next. That's not my cup of tea either. Oh yeah, you should tell her before she opens opens it there's no cups of tea in there you should give her a cup of tea finally a cup of tea I'd definitely throw it at her and say here's your fucking cup of tea and she's like that's not my cup of tea that's someone else's cup of tea where's my cup of tea. That's someone else's cup of tea. Where's my cup of tea?
Starting point is 01:14:26 It's always semantics with Tiffany. What do you got to plug? I know you got pot humor. That's it, Bubba. That's it. I'll tell you what I'm going to do, though. Pot humor. Do it.
Starting point is 01:14:37 Pot humor. Go to mattbesser.com to find links to all those VODs. And to the studio audience, I'm going to give everybody a May I Help You Dumbass CD on the way out if you're going to get my special. I'll sit right here and give you a CD if you still have one of those players. You got to be honest about this. You get one of those
Starting point is 01:14:55 if you're going to buy the special. The special costs $79.95 and you can pay for it in installments. You do get a bag of weed sent to you. So there you go. And candy. It all works out.
Starting point is 01:15:09 Everyone gets candy. Jonathan Burns, what's your Twitter name? At Flexible Comedy. Flexible Comedy. There you go. Yeah. FlexibleComedy.com
Starting point is 01:15:20 is my website. Cool. If you can't remember that, you can check out FlexiSexy.com. Whoa. That's the easiest to remember. Both with Ys. Don't use an I in there.
Starting point is 01:15:29 That's not me. You'll realize pretty quick that's not me. I'm touring around doing shows as well. Coming up at the beginning of 2020, I'll be opening up for a dog show called Mutt's Gone Nuts. They're rescue dogs that do unbelievable tricks. We perform them at theaters all over the East Coast. I have got to go see Mutt's Gone Nuts.
Starting point is 01:15:55 Yeah. It's pretty fun. Yeah, it's the top of the show. I crawl out of a small dog crate. That's weird. I'm doing a show too like that. I thought you were going to say you crawled out too like that. It's Matt with a bunch of dogs that have rabies.
Starting point is 01:16:10 It's not as cute. It's real death defying. I take them out of my house and I shoot them. It's like Old Yeller Live. Yeah. If you hate dogs, come see my show. Dogs.
Starting point is 01:16:25 Our show's very different. Well, that sounds super fun, and thank you for doing this show. Thank you for having me. Appreciate it, yeah. And Justin Hubbell, you spent all that money to be here. You came all the way across the country. Special trip. I do appreciate that.
Starting point is 01:16:42 What would you plug? Doug, I would just encourage people to support art and artists. Keep whatever mediums they love alive. Oh, that's very sweet. Otherwise, thanks to you, Jimmy Pardo and Smile Train. A lot of fun. Thanks.
Starting point is 01:16:58 Okay, thank you. Yeah! Thanks, Mom. Did you meet Matt Belknap? You know he's here doing the sound I didn't But you know him right? You haven't heard him on Podcastathon? He's that other voice
Starting point is 01:17:17 It's not Jimmy Oh okay There you go San Jose this Saturday. Go to DougLovesMovies.com for more information and details and whatnot. That's DougLovesMovies.com
Starting point is 01:17:35 Yeah! Cacao! Wallet! Ted Danson? Yep, that's the whole thing. Dustin, what do you got to plug? I just, I, DustinIbarra.com, my name. I'm going to be on tour.
Starting point is 01:17:53 I'm going to like Texas and a bunch of other places, Vegas. You know, the big spots. Yeah, let's meet up somewhere out on the road. Let's do it, man. Yeah, so fun. Always fun to see you. One more time for all of my guests, Matt Besser, Jonathan Burns, Justin Hubble, and Dustin Ibarra.
Starting point is 01:18:15 As always, positive energy. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talking. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you, cause Doug loves movies!

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