Doug Loves Movies - Matt Besser, Kevin Kraft and Samm Levine guest
Episode Date: October 10, 2017Live from the NerdMelt Showroom in Los Angeles, Doug welcomes Matt Besser, Kevin Kraft and Samm Levine to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notic...e at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
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Doug hates candy wrappers, sweetie, baby, sticky seeds
With 50 azithop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies
Hey, hey, hey everybody!
My name is Doug and I love movies!
This is Doug Loves Movies.
I apologize.
I gave you a shitty cue when I ran through it like that,
so a little of you are off.
A little of you.
Some of you are off, but all of you are fantastic for being here.
Nobody likes football?
I don't know why I'm reaching into the prize bag
it's not that far yet
oh to get the script out
okay
I got this
11 years
I got this
alright so
no crickets
that's pretty awesome
we're coming to you
from the Nerd Melt showroom
at Meltdown Comics
in Los Angeles
I've learned how to say things Nerd Melt showroom at Meltdown Comics in Los Angeles!
I've learned how to say things just to get people to applaud,
but there's really not that much reason to.
It's Monday, October 9th, 2017.
Less than a month till Ragnarok.
But I want to see some name tags that rock.
Hey, the clock is way off.
It says 9.06.
Yeah, can you just get rid of that?
Because I'll just be staring at it the whole show going,
why is it way off?
It's been good for a while.
This side stage clock here has been fantastic.
Oh, everybody's holding up their name tags. I feel... Sitting there going off about the clock.
I saw a big Lana's house on the internet somewhere.
Instagram, maybe, or Twitter.
And I'm a big fan of that one.
Because it's a big house.
It's a big Lana's house.
But she showed on Twitter that if you open one of the windows,
there's weed behind it.
Just a drawing of weed.
So a little disappointing,
but still in the spirit
of what I like.
Tim Burton's
the Nicky Mare
before Christmas.
Nicky Mare.
Nicky and Chris.
Nicky and Chris.
Oh, that's a...
That's for both of you.
You're going to have
to divide up
what's in the prize bag?
He's my fiance.
He's your fiance?
Okay, well,
good luck with that. He's my little? Okay, well, good luck with that.
Yeah, you're gonna, you know,
if statistics are correct,
you might split it all someday.
Jason-in-law.
I saw that one on the internet, too.
The Brock.
3,000 Kyles to Graceland.
I like it.
That movie did not come up when we were playing
Kurt Russell the other day, so that was
shameful. Baby
Jarrett?
Okay.
Driver Jarrett. Such a great
pun. What's this Star Wars one
say?
Brett Turn of the Jedi.
Brett Turn of the Jedi.
Nice.
Alright, good job everybody.
For Los Angeles, that's pretty
impressive.
Because everybody here either travel for
somewhere and they don't want to pack a silly name tag
because of the aforementioned TSA
situation.
Or they live here and
it's the most jaded city in the world.
I'm going to go
enjoy the show
and I'm not going to
bring a fucking name tag.
I'm going to sit there
and not be in suspense
about whether I get picked
or be sad when I don't.
I'm just going to
enjoy the show.
Doug plugs
Thursday night.
This Thursday,
October 12th
Doug Loves Movies
returns to Kansas City
this time at the
Alamo Drafthouse
and the next night
I'm doing a Benson
movie interruption
of Friday the 13th
part 3
cause it's Friday
the 13th
ooh
yeah
that's ooh
is the proper response
Sunday Doug Loves Movies
comes to Atlanta
at the Variety Playhouse at 420.
And Raleigh, Phoenix, New Orleans, Tampa, and more
are on the calendar.
For all my road dates, go to DougLovesMovies.com.
That's DougLovesMovies.com.
Yeah!
I know, right?
So aggressive.
Are you guys
going to call off
the wedding?
What's all that
crinkling noise I hear?
Who's crinkling
over there?
I guess that
stopped it.
Let's check out the prize bag.
It's a...
I was just in Vegas on that faithful day,
or sad day,
and this is a bag from the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino.
Hashtag Vegas strong.
Got a t-shirt.
Yes!
One person clapping for that.
I got a t-shirt from Getting Doug with High.
A Peacemaker pipe.
Christmas style, because it's never too early for that.
Now that we're actually getting closer to Christmas.
A iTunes gift card so you can buy my latest album, Lexington, or whatever you want.
Go ahead. Get some fucking Juice Newton if you have
to.
Somebody sent me a tweet today like
do I really gotta get
Juice Newton's album?
I'm like, dude, I know this is a cult
but you don't have to follow it that closely.
Be like people in LA and show
up without a fucking name tag.
That's how you live life.
Live life like it's the last
day and that you'd be like dying and going, I can't believe I wasted all that time making
a name tag. That was dark. All right. And also included in the bag and as promised on
Twitter, maybe that's why we have such a big turnout tonight. Tickets to go to the Regal Theater downtown here in Los Angeles,
which is a fine cinema,
and there's only some restrictions
on these free tickets. It's valid
Monday through Thursday, only
for standard format
presentations.
Weekends. Now, why are they
bringing up weekends again when they just said
Monday through Thursday?
Some people are going to show up and be like,
Friday
is late Thursday, man.
I don't start the weekend
until Friday night. Why can't I enjoy
this matinee?
Weekends and holidays are also excluded.
But, you know, four free
tickets to the cinema, that's not
a bad deal. All of that
is going to be won by somebody tonight in addition to the cinema. That's not a bad deal. All of that is going to be won by somebody
tonight in addition to the stuff brought by my three very special guests. Please give
a big warm welcome for Kevin Kraft, Matt Messer, and Sam the Ma'am. Levine,
a.k.a.
Lil' Logan.
Hi, everybody.
I haven't given this out in a while.
Wow, you guys are great clappers.
Yeah.
I've been talking shit about the L.A. crowd and then they clap like
motherfuckers.
But I haven't given this out in a while.
Matt, you just won the Pete Holmes Award.
What did I do? You spoke
first.
Oh, was that bad?
You talked without being addressed. You came out, hey,
everybody. They were addressing me with clapping.
This is my show, too. You don't think they're clapping
for the other gentleman as well?
I don't know why
they didn't address him.
It was rude.
I think, hey, everybody.
That'd be like
if you walked into a party
and was like, hi, Matt.
I'm like, hmm.
Only the hosts can respond.
I've rarely seen Kevin
not in a hat,
and tonight,
you didn't get the hat memo
because Sam and Matt
are wearing hats. I knew
that in advance. You did?
It's all part of my strategy for the games.
Well, let's meet them individually,
starting with the man who was just speaking.
It's Kevin Kraft, everybody.
This is so fucking cool.
First time as a full-fledged guest on the show,
but do you remember that time you came in
and you administered the Leonard Maltin game
so I could play?
No, because that didn't happen.
You sure?
Yeah.
Who did that?
Nobody.
No, somebody did it.
Because you came on the Jason Ellis show.
I always thought it was you.
And I hosted the Leonard Maltin game,
so you could actually be a contestant on it for once.
What is that?
It was on his show?
Yes.
Oh, okay.
It wasn't on my show.
I think Sam was on an insane win streak.
This was when you brought back the winner every week.
Uh-huh.
And your publicist hit me up saying,
Hey, you know how to play the Leonard Maltin game and host it.
If Sam wins this week, can you host
so Doug can be a competitor?
And Sam lost, and my dreams were
crushed. Oh, so that was
going to happen and then didn't? Yes.
I swear I thought it
really came to fruition
and really happened. It was Sam's fault?
Yes.
I'm so sorry. It's fucked up.
It's Sam's fault when the Cubs lose every year
They just won today
I'm talking about at the end of the year
They won the World Series last year
And then every other year they've existed?
No
I wasn't alive
Alright
But Kevin is of course on the uh the jason ellis show he just mentioned and i go
on there all the time and we had a uh a blast in vegas with the ellis mania and it you know turned
out to be not the best weekend uh overall for uh that town or the world yeah that was that was
pretty scary i'm sorry i brought that up on your first full-fledged appearance
on the show.
I almost brought it up
during the clapping.
That's Matt Besser, everybody!
I can't say anything.
Stop it.
This is exactly when you say
hey, everybody. Stop it, I can't respond.. Stop it. This is exactly when you say, hey, everybody.
Stop it.
I can't respond.
How many times do you think you've done this show?
Many, I think.
Yeah, I think so, too.
I feel like once a year at least.
All right.
Is that many?
Let's say it's at least 11 times.
It's not Pete Holmes.
No.
Well, I don't know.
I think you've probably been on more than him
because I like you.
Oh.
No, I mean your demeanor on my show.
Like for some reason he goes into evil Pete Holmes
when he's on my shows.
And he thinks it's really funny.
And so do a lot of the listeners.
I'd say 50% of them.
I try to be polite because I'm not good at the game.
So I just try to be charming and polite.
Well, you're in trouble tonight because Sam Levine is here.
Oh, no.
Thank you very much.
There's no trouble.
Look, we were just discussing a loss of mind.
I'm a human being.
No, it's true.
You can lose, but it's infrequent,
and you complain a lot when it happens. I don't think that that's true. You can lose, but it's infrequent, and you complain a lot when it happens.
I don't think that that's true.
Not complain.
You explain why you lost.
Yeah, but to you backstage.
That's true.
You don't do it on the podcast, which I appreciate.
Do you know how many times you've lost, Vitaly?
No, I do not.
Yeah, yeah, he doesn't dwell on that.
That's not what a winner does.
Yeah, he doesn't dwell on that That's not what a winner does
He's had a lot of at-bats
So I bet your average is at least 500
Maybe 750
Ooh, I don't know
I think it is
Ask the internet
Tell us, internet
Come on, tweet at me
Not now, but later
Yeah
Because they can't hear us yet
It's true
The internet doesn't know about this yet
Oh, but they will soon.
What did you bring for the prize bag, Sam?
Oh, I got a little bit more from the MLB package that I have.
So if you like Major League Baseball,
if you like Major League Baseball,
but don't really care about any specific team,
hello!
This is an adult small white tee
with an MLB.com logo on it.
That is the smallest logo.
You can barely read that.
And isn't adult small just,
isn't that size,
shouldn't they just call it Sam Levine?
From now on, adult smalls will be referred to as Sam Levine.
You heard me, clothing industry.
And then this one, I could not break up into smaller things. on adult smalls will be referred to as Sam Levine. You heard me, clothing industry.
And then,
this one I could not break up into smaller things.
So,
from the TV screener
nonsense thing
that I have,
it is all of the AMC
for your consideration,
screeners.
This is entire seasons of
The Night Manager,
Better Call Saul,
The Walking Dead,
Preacher,
Fear the Walking Dead, Feed the Beast, Hell on Wheels, Halt and Catch Fire, Turn, Washington Spies.
Oh, shit.
Can I have that?
You may not.
Yeah, Kevin, you can just have that if you want.
What was that last show?
Turn?
Washington Spies.
Turn was about, yeah.
Was it Jamie Bell?
It was the opposite of a patriot.
Right.
It was a turncoat.
It was about a turncoat.
Yeah, it's from the British view, the guys who were turning, I guess.
Yeah, yeah.
The Benedict Arnolds and the what have you.
As soon as I heard a brief description of the show, I was like.
Didn't really appeal to me.
But that Halt and Catch Fire, I have not watched any of it,
but I just got the sad news
that our friend Scoot McNary died on the show.
No spoiler alert,
because who watches the show, really?
Is there a Halt and Catch Fire fan
that is not caught up to the part where he dies?
Oh, sorry, dude.
I couldn't get past Halt.
He's had an illness on the show, you know, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, good.
Didn't work out.
Who gets ill on a series and then is like,
I recovered and there's only a couple episodes left.
Walter White?
Yeah.
Yeah, his entire, it was all recovery,
which I think everyone should just get into, you know,
selling meth if they're dying of cancer
because it clearly worked for him.
It was therapeutic.
It really was.
Yeah.
I kept him around until guns took him down.
Oh.
Did someone else say spoiler?
God damn it.
Breaking Bad is over for years now.
Yeah, there is no way you're getting any leeway on a Breaking Bad spoiler at this point.
Shh. Don't say anything about the Sopranos. Yeah, there is no way you're getting any leeway on a Breaking Bad spoiler at this point.
Shh, don't say anything about The Sopranos.
I'm on season two.
Don't tell me what song it ends with.
Oh, don't stop leaving.
Kevin, what do you have for us?
Oh, you passed your shit down there, Sam.
I almost fell on my face.
Alright, so I'm a gamer, so I brought an amiibo. It's
Ryu from Street Fighter.
Oh, okay.
How do you...
Is that the right...
You say so.
Halloween's coming up, so I got some
death metal in here to get people in the mood.
Skeleton Witch album.
Little shameless self-promotion.
Got a Puma naughty shirt.
This is for my podcast, Mad Scientist Party Hour.
And a screenplay I wrote.
What?
That was in a contest and won, and they put it up on Amazon.
So it's Iron Lung.
It's a stoner kung fu movie.
Yeah.
It's about time.
I figured this would be the right crowd.
Is that on the blacklist now?
Like, why hasn't that been made?
It's being shopped.
That's why.
Kung fu, though, wouldn't you say it's being chopped?
Oh shit
Use that in the pitch
Yeah you gotta put that
in the pitch man
Thanks for bringing
all that stuff
that's amazing
Great job
Matt what kind of
bullshit did you bring?
Well I'm promoting
something called
Stolen Idea
It's a musical
and stitcher
Thank you
There's one person But I can't give it to Idea. It's a musical on Stitcher. Thank you. There's one person.
But I can't give it to anyone because it's a streaming service.
I can't hand it out.
So I brought my old, old school UCB season one,
which is about to disappear on CISO because that's disappearing.
And it was there.
Yeah.
Sorry.
And my movie Freak Dance.
So those two DVDs.
Yeah. And you know what?
Since you gave away that action figure,
I didn't know whether to give this away,
but my daughter got these zombie action figures today,
and this one wouldn't balance.
I think it's someone running from a zombie,
and she got mad because it wouldn't balance,
so she said, throw it away, throw it away.
And I was like, no, I'm going to give it away.
I just can't wait to see if it balances.
There's no way you'll be able to balance that.
See?
Maybe that's the fun of it.
Oh, is this like the end of Inception?
She just needs a wall or
a bottle.
Alright, that's going
in the bag along with all this other stuff.
Somebody's going to win all this stuff.
But I got a couple of quick questions for you guys
before we play the games.
And Sam knows what's coming, so
I'll ask him first.
Okay. I don't even know if you've had a chance because you were just on the show yesterday.
No, I did.
What did you watch?
What was the last movie you saw?
It's hard to believe that I'd never actually seen this film, but Hoosiers.
Yeah.
How does that fall into your lap?
I compiled a list a couple months ago of movies that I know I should have seen by now,
but just for whatever reason, I haven't.
At the top of the list, did you write, I'm a nerd?
Yeah.
That's how it's listed in my notes on my iPhone.
And Hoosiers was on the list.
Hoosiers was on the list, and it was on TV last week, so I recorded it and watched it
today.
And you liked it?
I did very much.
And spoiler alert, it really doesn't matter, guys.
The movie's over 30 years old.
I don't know why I had, for some reason,
thought my entire life that they lost the big game
at the end of the movie.
And so I'm watching it, fully expecting them to lose,
and then they win.
So it was a real nice twist for me.
Doesn't he dribble
out the clock
as his strategy?
Yeah, pretty much.
They take the lead
with like a minute to go
and so then they have to
like dribble out the clock.
Least exciting thing
to do in a sports movie.
Well, better than
Watch him dribble
out the clock.
That's how miracle ends
and that's a true story.
I love when they
dribble in hockey.
Me too.
That's what made it such a big story.
It's because that guy dribbled that puck.
They're missing so many teeth.
They dribble.
All right, Kevin, what about you?
What was the last movie you saw?
Kingsman, The Golden Circle in theaters,
and Colossal at home.
Oh, well, now we have to follow up question about each.
Kingsman was dope
I like that
Yeah you did
They
You know the first one
Was silly and over the top
So they were like
A sequel
Let's make it
Way too silly
And over the top
But I still liked it
For some reason
Well that's good
I mean I'm glad
You're still with it
And I hope they make more
But this one
Me too
This one didn't work
For me very much
Oh yeah You liked the first one?
Mm-hmm. Yeah I love the first one.
Yeah the first one's terrific and then the second one
is just you know you gotta applaud them for
trying but I just didn't find the
characters and situations as
interesting. The fights are you know whenever
people are fighting it's really cool.
Yeah they underused
Channing Tatum. Yes!
Yeah and but
Settle down Chelsea! Yeah, they underused Channing Tatum. Yes. Yeah, and but...
Okay.
Settle down, Chelsea.
She's the audience member that I made her sit further back
because she does things like that.
She used to be in the front row.
I appreciate that she's helping me out.
Matt, what was the last movie you saw?
I saw this movie called Morgan.
Anybody seen that?
Artificial intelligence movie.
It was such a ripoff of Ex Machina.
Am I right?
You didn't think so?
No, it's not a ripoff of everything.
Not Hoosiers.
It's about robots. So don't. No, it's not a rip-off of everything, not Hoosiers. It's a robot.
Don't say everything like I'm an asshole.
It's not a rip-off of Miracle.
Well, wait, do the robots win at the end?
Yeah.
Then it's a rip-off of Hoosiers and Miracle.
Do they beat the Harlem Globetrotters on Gilligan's Island?
What?
Do the robots beat the Harlem Globetrotters on Gilligan's Island?
I missed that episode.
That was a movie.
I assume not.
A full feature length film.
There's no way anyone beats the Globetrotters.
Not even a bunch of robots.
Yeah, that's what the Globetrotters do.
The whole movie is about judging whether a robot passes as human.
What's the difference?
Not a robot.
Whoa. A cyborg as human. What's the difference? Not a robot. Whoa.
A cyborg?
No.
What is it?
She's like an artificially enhanced...
Go fuck yourself.
What is the fucking difference, asshole?
I mean, my God.
You're a robot.
You're a fucking robot. It's only a robot.
We go, it's not a robot.
It's an artificial
intelligence grown from
stem cells, which
means it is
a cyborg
mixture of human and robot.
It's part plant
and part rock
it's matter
mineral and vegetable
all right
so
you didn't like it Matt
I mean Ex Machina
is such an artful movie
about that topic
it was about the same thing
of course it's hard to beat
well it seems like
I think lots of movies
have had that topic
but they it seems like it came out very recently it looks like they pitched that it's hard to beat. I think lots of movies have had that topic.
But it seems like it came out very recently.
It looks like they pitched that.
It's Ex Machina, but with 12 people instead of three people.
Yeah, so bigger budget.
Probably a lot of exciting casting options.
Who's in it?
Giamatti's in it?
Yeah, who else?
I don't know.
Some famous people.
I've never seen it. One of the Mara sisters.
One of the Mara sisters. One of the Mara sisters.
It's either Kate or Rooney.
People, the people say Kate.
And this audience is talking too much.
All right.
So thumbs down on Morgan?
I think so.
I enjoyed it, but this audience made me hate it.
It made me reassess it.
Yeah.
Alright.
Sure.
Sam, what did you recommend yesterday when I asked for a scary movie recommendation for October?
Well, that was two days ago in St. Louis.
Oh, I didn't ask it yesterday because Gilbert Gottfried took up a lot of time with laughter.
And my recommendation was the film Audition.
Oh, right.
That was gnarly.
Yeah.
All right.
Do you have another one for us?
Sure.
In the same Japanese horror camp
Ishi the Killer
that's a pretty
fucked up movie
oh yeah
the director of that
has got a new thing
coming out
I forgot what it is
but
I gotta see that
do you think it's
one of the best movies
I've never seen
oh it might
it might be
I don't know that
it's a great
it's just
it's one of those movies
that like stays with you
after and you're like,
oh, I'm fucked up.
There's a lot of weird shit
that happens there
and so you,
like it lingers in your brain
for a while.
I don't know if that counts.
It stays with you?
Like what if you check
into a hotel,
they charge you double?
They do.
You have to double occupancy
in the room.
Yes.
I don't know.
It may be a good film
that you would enjoy that you've never seen.
All right.
Yeah.
Your confidence has driven me to maybe see it.
All right.
Kevin, you got a Halloween horror movie recommendation for everybody?
I don't know if I have any deep cuts, but...
Just something that, you know, because everybody's not seen some things, you know.
High Tension. Oh. High Tension.
Oh.
High Tension gets me.
I watch that every Halloween.
Who's in that?
French ladies.
It's French?
Yes.
With subtitles and everything?
If you get the Blu-ray, it's both.
You can watch it dubbed or with subtitles.
Why would you watch anything dubbed?
I don't know, man.
I mean, I guess.
The choice is yours. Maybe if you can't read or you're blind,
those are good reasons.
Yeah, but that's a disturbing one.
You're in a reggae.
What's that?
It's a dub joke.
Oh.
A dumb joke?
What?
Dub joke.
Matt, do you have any horror film recommendations?
It made me think of that film Basket Case.
You guys seen that?
A long time ago.
What was the director's name?
What is that guy's name?
He did all those weird little movies.
But it's about this guy who has a brother,
like a deformed mutant brother
who everybody thinks is dead,
but it actually lives in a basket.
And that's it.
That's the only description.
I like Baskin-Case 2 and 3 as well.
Do you think they sat around going,
should we have him live in a basket or a case?
Which one of these words is going to be superfluous?
All right.
Well, I'll keep getting recommendations
for the rest of the month
just because people love to watch horror movies this month.
Yeah, see Basket Case Bag.
I think good ones are great year-round.
I don't know why October is so important time to watch them,
but that's what people do, so I'm going to play along.
Yeah.
Thanks, Doug.
You're welcome universe podcast could probably reach other planets there that they're so smart they could probably reach out and
download a podcast but now is the time in the show when I tell Bert to turn it off because I'm going to say, let the games begin!
Uh-oh. Gentlemen!
We got at least three or four times
as many name tags as we have guests
and they're of all varying
sizes. I know who I'm not
picking.
That fucking guy over there.
Alright, well
I love the light that you put on that 3,000 Kyles to Graceland.
That's very effective.
Sam already has his.
Go ahead and grab whatever name tag you'd like to play for.
There's the Beth instead of the Jerk.
I'll go with Blade Run Nick.
Blade Run Nick.
2049.
2049.
Yes, thank you Nick for
Clarifying
You've been on the show before
Yeah
Like on stage
Yeah you were one of the replacement guests when I kicked out Anne Heche
Oh
That's one of my favorite episodes
Where the guy accused
The UCB crowd of being Trump supporters.
That was excellent.
Yeah, that was bizarre.
Who are you playing for, Kevin?
I'm playing for Jason-in-law.
Did you get weed?
Yeah, there's a pre-roll joint in there.
How did I not see that one?
It was disguised as a tube.
A tube the size of a joint.
Sam and I are
worked into the Photoshop and
a very handsome Matt Besser
right there. How did you know who was
going to be here? How did you get all three of them?
Oh, it's Mark Wahlberg.
No, that's me.
You can tell by the stomach.
Still, great guess, though.
Oh, because you heard Kevin mention it today
on Jason Ellis.
And you heard me say that Sam
was going to be back, yeah. Good job.
Very clever.
You couldn't track me down, motherfucker.
It's no Blade Runner
Nick.
And Nick just fell off.
The Nick fell off of it.
Now it's just Blade Runner.
You just got
Nick rolled.
This will never
work.
Speaking of Nicks and Nickies and
Chris's, what do you got, Sam?
I got Tim Burton's The Nicky Mare Before
Christmas.
Wow, look at that. That's very impressive.
You and Jeff Tate and I'm guessing
Nicky and Chris.
I'm very impressed.
This is all one piece of paper. Where do you
print something like this? FedEx.
Awesome. FedEx. That is very impressive.
Give her a hand. Yeah, they don't turn you away like Kinko's. Kinko That is very impressive. Give her a hand.
Yeah, they don't turn you away like Kinko's.
Kinko's is always like, it's copyrighted
material. I can't make it.
Like, what the fuck are you talking about?
It's a dumb sign for a game show.
Nick, you owe me
like a joint or something because
I don't know why I picked this now.
Wait, did
anybody else have something with weed attached to it?
No, okay.
Yes!
Okay, Nick's got you.
Cut to blowjob in alley.
Can't put this on a poster.
All right, we're almost perfectly on schedule.
I'm excited.
This first game we're going to play,
you may not have played this before, Matt,
but I'll talk you through it.
And Kevin certainly hasn't because he's never been on.
I thought he was on once, but I was wrong.
The game is called, and I thought of playing this game tonight just as a rebuttal.
I didn't have a chance on yesterday's show to tell Joe DeRosa how wrong he was about,
oh, there are the crickets that just showed up.
They show up as soon as it gets boring, and now I feel the pressure.
Joe DeRosa really shit all over Live, Die, Repeat,
Edge of Tomorrow yesterday,
and I gotta say, I think it's fine.
I like that movie.
Yeah, he just hated it for some weird reason that I couldn't understand, but we had to move on.
But I'll talk to him about that later,
but we're gonna play a round of a game
called Live, Die, Repeat.
This is where I'm going
to say out loud the title of a
motion picture and the first person
who repeats it back
correctly. I don't like the way Sam is
crouching. I'm the farthest
away. You're already cheating somehow.
I'm the farthest away. I have to get a good
point. He's just getting ready and he also knows that I need to
see all of you to determine who answers this first. So you have to get a good vantage point. He's just getting ready and he also knows that I need to see all of you to determine
who answers this first. So you have to
repeat the title, the full title
correctly. First person
who can do it wins this
game. I know. It
sounds ridiculously easy, but
there's three of you doing
it. Yes. I'm just going to guess what the movie
is before you say it. Well, you know, I'll take a
pre-guess right now if you want to throw one out.
Okay, it's Krull. What?
Krull? Yeah. K-R-U-L-L?
Yeah, Krull.
I'm going to say that the next
time I order a Starbucks.
That's your name. They'll be like,
what? And I'll be like, Krull, K-R-O-L-L.
See, it's hard.
It's not as
hard to spell fast as B-A-B-Y baby
K-R-U-L-L-L
Carl
Can I pre-guess?
Alright
Edge of Darkness
Why?
Why what?
Why is that your guess?
Well because it would be clever of you to start by saying edge
And then expect all of us to say Edge of Tomorrow But you'd be fucking with us And it would be clever of you to start by saying edge and then expect all of us to say edge of tomorrow.
Oh, you could go a different way.
I see.
Beetlejuice.
It's like if I said...
Yeah.
And you could say beetle and we'd be like, beetle mania.
And you'd be like, no, beetlejuice.
Is the movie called Beetlejuice. There's a movie called Beatlemania?
There must be.
Come on.
We learned last night there isn't two movies called, what was it, Sam?
Oh, I don't even know.
What, Eight Days a Week?
Oh, Eight Days a Week, yeah.
We thought it was called A Hard Day's Night.
A Hard Day's Night.
Technically, there is a movie called that, but Ron Howard did not direct it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right, here we go.
Borat.
Cultural Learnings
of America
for
make
great benefit
nation of Kazakhstan. You gotta say it from the beginning, the entire title.
Cultural learnings of America
for make benefit great nation of Kazakhstan.
Borat, cultural learnings of America
for make benefit glorious nation of
Kazakhstan.
I think you win, Doug.
Krell.
No one can say that back?
I just don't want to.
Borat.
You lost me at Borat.
For America, for make benefit. Borat. You lost me at Borat. For America, for make benefits.
Borat.
Cultural learnings of America.
Cultural learnings of America for greater Kazakhstan.
Make Borat.
Make benefit.
Glorious nation of Kazakhstan.
Glorious nation of Kazakhstan.
Did Sam say the whole thing?
Nick was so mad
Thank you
That's my most cherished victory yet on the show
Yeah Nick was just like
If I was up there I would kill this
When am I going to get another
Appearance on the show
As soon as you stop bringing 40s
Yeah as soon as you stop bringing 40s. Yeah.
Yeah, next time, 220s.
Let's play ABCD's Nuts!
Oh, I'm terrible at this.
Starting with Sam,
then we'll go to Kevin,
then we'll go to Matt,
because that's the order in which how well you did in that last game.
Giving up gives you an automatic third place.
It's Columbus Day, you guys.
Indigenous Day.
Yeah.
Thank you for not clapping, because I am against it.
I wish this had never been discovered like people don't even get that did anybody here get the day off from from what
teaching wait kids don't go to school in Columbus Day I never got it off when I
was you know 40 years ago.
All right.
This is the day she's going to teach about Native Americans, too.
Don't have to do that anymore.
All right, so tonight we're going to spell Columbus Day. I've written down a movie for each letter in the words Columbus Day.
And if you happen
to match the movie
I wrote down ahead of time, then you
win automatically. But the idea is to
just name any movie that begins with the letter
just to survive. And we'll start
with Sam.
The first letter in Columbus Day, of course, is the letter
C. Give me a movie that
starts with the letter C. Give me a movie that starts with the letter C.
Columbus Circle.
Hmm.
Hmm.
You got, so far, three hmms for that one.
Okay.
Nobody's ever heard of that film, but it stars...
Oh, do tell us everything you know about it.
Well, I've mentioned it on the show before when we did, I think, Giovanni Ribisi on Last Man Standing.
It's a film starring Kevin Pollack,
Jason Lee, Amy Smart.
Do you think I was serious when I said
tell us everything you know about it?
Well, no, I'm saving the...
It's based on a subway stop.
You're in it?
You're in it?
Yes.
What do you play, a painter?
A bank manager who would have had today off.
Oh, shit.
I went with a movie called Clear Cut.
Yeah.
Kevin, oh.
Any movie begins with oh.
There was even a movie once called Oh.
Yeah, this is how stupid I am.
I was preparing for a You movie.
Columbus.
Columbus.
Preparing for a U movie.
Columbus.
So I'm going to steal your answer and say O, Columbus.
Okay, that's cool.
I went with On Deadly Ground.
Matt. Fuck.
L.
Labyrinth.
No, Little Big Man.
Sam, U.
Under Siege.
No.
Ulzana's Raid.
Kevin, M.
Mortal Kombat.
No.
Massacre.
Matt.
B.
Any movie that begins with B.
Blade Runner.
Which one?
Original or 2049?
2049.
No.
I went with
Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee.
Sam, you.
Under Siege 2, Dark Territory.
No, I just went with
Olzana's Raid again.
Weird.
Weird.
Kevin.
S.
Superman.
No.
Smoke Signals.
I also would have accepted
Squanto, A warrior's tail.
What the fuck?
Guy's got a lot of pride
for a person named Squanto.
D is the next letter for...
Day the Earth Stood Still.
Dude, I would have accepted
Dances with Wolves or Davy Crockett, King of the Wild stood still. Dude, I would have accepted Dances with Wolves
or Davy Crockett,
King of the Wild Frontier
or Dead Man starring
Johnny Depp
as an Indian person.
Right?
Isn't that what he's supposed to be?
A is the next letter, Sam.
Well, I can't think of any Indian films.
Native American films.
So I'll go with another group of displaced people.
Avatar.
God damn it, I wish I had written that down.
That would have been such a fun twist at the end.
I said you could have said Apache or a man called Horse.
And the final letter is Y for Kevin.
Year one.
That's a terrific guess because the cavemen were also indigenous and pushed out.
I was not implying that.
I didn't write anything down because I
really thought we would have had a winner by now.
Wow.
Really thought
that D dances with wolves
was a real
was a real gimme.
Sorry, Nick.
No, it's all good.
You don't have to apologize to the person whose name tag you chose.
Because, you know, if you lose, he's going to get his moment to really talk some shit.
I bet he's got a good shithead on the back of his name tag.
Yeah.
Yeah, Nick seems very politically active.
Mm-hmm.
Let's play
Build a Title.
People get excited
when this comes up, but I can't play it very
often. I have to have the most skilled players
imaginable.
And you guys, you know,
that's, you're it.
So we're going to start with Sam,
and then switch the order around.
We'll go to Matt and then Kevin.
Okay, remind me of the rules.
In this game, the first person to get the crickets to shut up wins.
No, in this game, I'm going to say the title of a film,
and then you have to add a title to the beginning or end of the film
using the sound of the words.
So you can't add extra words.
It's got to flow into each other.
An example would be like if the first title was Purple Rain,
you could add Rain Man, Purple Rain Man.
Okay.
Like that.
And it doesn't have to be spelled right.
It just has to sound right.
Purple Rain Beatlemaniac.
I got it.
Yeah, you're already doing it wrong.
Sam?
Yes, sir.
The first title is I Killed Geronimo.
Oh, my.
Yeah, there's a movie called that.
I Killed Geronimo Money.
Yes.
I thought it could go better blues, but Mo Money is acceptable.
I thought it could go better blues, but Mo Money is acceptable.
So now, Matt needs a movie that starts with the word money or ends with I.
Okay.
With Nell and I.
Oh, good.
You didn't think I had it in me, did you?
I wanted to go, I thought you could say Cat's Eye.
Wait, I didn't hear what you said.
With nail and eye.
So we need, for Kevin, we need a movie that begins with money or ends with nail.
Roadblock.
Piece of cake.
Money ball.
Money ball, that's right.
So we got I Kill Geronimo Money Ball. Money Ball. That's right. So we got I Kill Geronimo Money Ball.
Oh, sorry about that. I skipped
the Withnail and I part. Which is
I think a great horror film.
Right? Isn't it always like
tense? Withnail and I?
Withnail and I? Yeah.
It's a comedy. What are you talking about? Yeah, it's a comedy, but
it's about a guy who's fucking scared
of what's going to happen almost the entire time.
All right, I didn't take it as that.
Okay.
Is Ghostbusters a horror movie to you?
It has a ghost in it.
It is for me because I'm allergic to marshmallows.
Oh.
That's the part people told you.
There's a scary marshmallow scene.
Oh, I'm not going to go then.
I'll wait for the sequel because I have no problem with the Statue of Liberty.
Do you sometimes see a ghost but you just think it's a marshmallow and that's what scares you?
Ah! Ah! Marshmallow! Oh, it's just a ghost, but you just think it's a marshmallow, and that's what scares you. Ah!
Ah! Marshmallow! Oh, it's just a ghost.
I'll tell you something that scares me about
Ghostbusters, is that why would a ghost
named Slimer, why would he eat a bunch
of hot dogs when he's just a ghost
and they're just gonna fall on the ground?
That's true. Well, why'd that ghost suck
Dan Aykroyd's dick?
Speaking of
eating hot dogs.
Sounds like you saw
an extended cut or something
because he just unbuttons his pants.
The ghost unbuttons his pants,
but I don't think he really gets...
I mean, then they cut to his face
going, ooh.
Scooby-Doo.
Oh.
Oh.
All right, so it's Withnail and I Kill Geronimo Money Balls of Fury.
Balls of Fury.
All right, that might be a stopper.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
You can't just add the word fury because that's a movie.
But I do have
a good feeling for where this could go.
Furious
5.
Too bad that's not what it's called.
You don't think
there's a documentary about
the crew that backed up Grandmaster?
Furious 5? the crew that backed up Grandmaster. Fury is fine.
Oh, you're going to be so mad at yourself
when you find out where you could have gone with that.
Don't quit it, lady.
All right, I guess I'm out.
I don't understand what's happening.
You're out.
No, that's why you're out.
All right, I guess I'm out.
I don't understand what's happening.
You're out.
Nope, that's why you're out.
Could I just do Fury Turn of the Jedi?
I like it.
Most people don't. I will take the golf claps.
I will take the golf claps.
Yeah.
I think the people that aren't clapping
are just concerned about the Star Wars episode whatever
that comes before that.
So that kind of ruins it.
Were they called that when they were released?
Or did they just say it was Return of the Jedi?
Oh, that's a good point.
So you want us to all go back in time.
Yes, I do.
Yes.
To when it was just called Return of the Jedi.
So I can get a point, yes.
You know it was originally called Revenge of the Jedi, but so I can get a point Yeah, you know it was originally called revenge of the Jedi, but they pushed out
Yeah, cuz revenge is too harsh. Yeah. Yeah, yeah like George Lucas like that's too. That's too
It's not a seek revenge. They want to call it Jedi's upset
Jedi sob sesh
Okay so
I'm gonna take it though
Because it's just so creative
Yeah it's clever
Clever
Fear return
Of the Jedi
So this is interesting
Yeah
Fear return of the Jedi robot
Yes
Oh look at the old Mr. Robot over there
It's not Oh okay it is Oh, look at the Mr. Robot over there.
It's not.
Oh, okay, it is.
Look at Mr. Robot.
All right, so who's up?
Kevin.
It's not Matt? No, no, he just.
Oh, yeah, Matt's out.
That's right.
That's right.
So you got to do something.
You're on out.
You got to do something with robot or with.
With.
What movie ends in a preposition?
Robot.
Robots in hell.
Is that a thing?
He just came up with that.
It does sound like a bad 50s movie.
Yeah, that's neat.
Robots in Hell.
Watch their laser eyes.
Are the robots, like, did they die and go to hell?
Or are they just bad robots that fuck with people in hell? What are we doing here?
We have no soul.
Satan built them.
Satan built them.
Well, that means they don't suffer down there then.
Because they're built to work down there.
This is actually okay for us.
We were built to work down here.
Heaven's more torture for us it's too cold not enough oil oil can I thought
of one for that could you could tag on to robot but you don't have anything
Kevin no I'm gonna think of it when we walk out of here, but I'm dead in the water right now.
Sam, just for fun?
Sure, Robot Jocks.
Trust me, it's a terrible, dumb movie from the 80s.
It's a precursor to Pacific Rim.
I wanted to go Robotato Focus.
Oh, that's very clever.
I don't know if clever is the right word for it.
Very robot-oto-focus.
But Sam wins this one, too.
Yay!
Thank you.
Damn it.
I hope people that like it are glad that we played it.
I get requests from time to time, bring that back.
And I'm like, as soon as I have a guest on,
when I explain it to him,
he'll understand what the fuck I'm talking about.
We're on, and that's what just happened.
And here's another thing that's going to happen.
The three of you are established guests on the show,
or at least in the case of Kevin,
we know that he knows how this next game is played.
It's time to play
the Leonard Maltin game.
No fucking way.
You're beaming.
I've been waiting my whole life for this.
But goddammit, Sam's here.
It doesn't mean anything.
So you're really good at this?
No, Sam is.
No, I know he is, but are you good?
In my car.
It's not going to translate.
In his car years ago.
Because we haven't played it for a while.
Every once in a while, special occasions,
I like to
whip it out. A gentleman made a book
of... Whoa, whoa. Easy, Harvey Weinstein.
Oh!
Oh!
What are you doing about people like Harvey Weinstein,
Sam? Well, it is Columbus Day.
It's a special occasion. I like to whip it out, too.
People like Harvey Weinstein, Sam.
Well, it is Columbus Day.
It's a special occasion.
I like to whip it out, too.
What am I doing?
I'm not starring in any more movies that he's not asking me to be in.
Do you know?
Let's say all the four of us agree
to boycott his films from now on.
The guy's a fucking pig,
but here's the thing.
I did two movies for his company.
I met him 14 times for the first time.
Right, because every time
he was like jerking off into a plant when you're
trying to talk to him.
Sam, you're not washing
me. Soap up.
I just think it's pretty nice of him to
like throw his seed into the planter
instead of on the ground where someone would have to clean it up.
He's trying to grow a plant baby.
Which is not a robot.
It's a triffid.
All right, Kevin, here's the big twist in the game
since I've brought it back on occasion.
I'm going to give three choices to the person who's going first of categories to choose from
without telling you what the category title means.
And you have to pick one, and then you find out then.
Gotcha.
You could get yourself into a lot of trouble.
Mystery categories.
Basically.
I'm down.
But they also, once I tell you what they are,
it's pretty clear that, oh yeah, that makes sense.
Got it?
I'm on board, Doug.
Me too.
There's a palatable tension in the room.
How are you feeling about me, Nick?
Okay.
Okay?
He feels okay.
I mean, he knows that there's some strategy to this game.
You can actually win without knowing anything.
Yeah.
Moshe Kasher won like four episodes in a row at one point.
He was terrible at it.
Shout out to Moshe.
All right.
He's probably listening.
Listening for a mention.
It's been years.
Okay, so
yeah, I think I
yeah, you guys got this.
First person to two points.
I should mention that.
You get a point when you either name the movie correctly or force someone else to fail
sam gets to pick and then we'll go to kevin and then to matt
sam yes would you like the category never gonna get it or
mr and mrs smith or or Mr. and Mrs. Smith or
Toss Salad and Scrambled Eggs?
Toss Salad and Scrambled Eggs.
Okay, these are the films of Brendan Fraser.
Perfect.
Wait, why don't I get that?
Is he known for eating ass?
What's up with that?
No, the end theme of the TV show Frasier
is called Toss Salad, Scrambled Eggs.
Kelsey Grammer sings it.
Okay.
And everybody got it but you.
I'm glad no one's thrown that at you in an improv sketch.
Okay.
You didn't know what to do with it
that's how our improv
worked
well you gotta know
all those references right
hey I was on
that's a weird one
that got past you
you were on Frasier
I was
I left before the end
I was like
that's my scene
it's like
where are you going?
I'm about to sing the big song.
Toss salad and scrambled eggs.
I do it again.
Yeah.
Nasty.
Sit, Ubu, sit.
Do you remember that?
Okay.
Sam.
Uh-huh.
This movie is from 1994?
Is that a question?
It is, because my eyesight's stupid.
I might call it 84.
I don't think so.
Okay, 94.
No.
He wasn't active in 84.
He wasn't.
Two stars from our friend, Mr. Leonard Maltin.
He says about this movie that the script is dull-witted.
I know, unusual for a Brendan Fraser movie.
And he says, fairly energetic direction
and compact running time help a bit.
It proves it is scoached.
Compact running time?
Leonard is very serious about running times,
and he likes a shorter film,
especially when apparently he doesn't like it very much at all.
I loved your 75 minutes.
Yes.
I'm telling you, if this went $1.40,
you would have given it one and a half or one star instead of two.
And he lists ten names.
Ten names.
Sam, how many names can you get in?
And don't forget about the, Sam likes to employ this from time to time,
the negative names.
And that means you can guess the lead.
The names of the people, yeah, from top down in the right order.
Sam went super deep on, what movie was it, Sam, where Glenn Headley was in it?
Mr. Holland's Opus. Mr. Holland's Opus.
Mr. Holland's Opus.
So, yeah, Glenn Headley passed away.
That's the first thing I thought of is that you named her successfully in that bid.
What's your bid, Sam?
You know what?
Nine names.
Ooh, what?
It's very unusual for Sam to need that many names
Yeah, that's a weak lead, right?
I don't actually
Very conservative opening salvo
There's not that many actors in most movies
Most movies have like a hundred
A hundred of them
You just
The only movie you've seen in the last few years
Is Ex Machina.
You're so mad at Morgan
for beefing it up to 10.
I got confused. All those people running around.
I'm not good with faces.
I'm not good with robot faces.
They're half plant,
half mineral.
All right. I'm not good with robot faces. They're half plant, half mineral.
All right.
Sam says nine names.
Kevin, what do you think?
Can you go less than that?
I think I'm going to gamble here and say negative one.
Oh, boy.
So, Matt, this is yours to lose.
So, I have to name it in negative one or I have to name it in negative two? You've got to go negative two or more.
That'd be like from the top down.
So, you'd have to name the movie and then the top person and then the second build person if you go negative two.
Isn't second build kind of subjective if I name any other actor in it
is that good enough
no it is
far from good enough
because this is
the
we're talking of
the bible of
Leonard Maltin
Leonard Maltin's
movie bible
because I think
I can do it
negative one too
but not negative two
isn't that a position
to be in
well I'm gonna try it
I'm gonna try
negative two motherfucker Isn't that a position to be in? Well, I'm going to try it. I'm going to try negative two, motherfucker.
All right.
My strategy worked.
Now it goes over to Sam.
Hey, Matt, go ahead, man.
Name that movie.
All right, Matt.
You need the name of the movie.
I'm not going to say if any of this is right until you've named the name of the movie,
the top billed person, and the second billed person.
Okay.
Well, I know the top billed is Brendan Fraser.
Getting a point, Sam.
I'm going to say it's Encino Man, Brendan Fraser,
and I'm going to say Pauly Shores in that movie.
What?
You're absolutely-
Fuck you, like, what?
Like, that's the craziest thing I've ever said?
That's not the craziest guess
two dumbasses in a terrible movie
that's not a crazy guess
if I said oh and Justin Bieber
that'd be crazy
and Barack Obama that'd be crazy. And Barack Obama.
That'd be like, oh, are you kidding me?
He's not an actor.
What about Sean Astin?
Where do you think his billing would be in that?
Oh, no.
Is he number two?
No, he wasn't around then.
I don't know.
I mean, Pauly was the most famous at the time.
Or not most famous, but Sean Astin, of course, had the Goonies under his belt and Rudy.
So,
it's an interesting question.
But the answer, it turns out, is the
most ambitious called Airheads.
And
top
billed is Brendan Fraser, and then
the number two is Joe Mantegna.
Is that what you were
going to guess, Airheads?
Yeah.
You were going to go
Encino Man 2, weren't you?
I think Encino Man was earlier.
Yeah, like 90 or something?
I think it was like 92, 93.
It was like 93 maybe?
You know, I bet you if anybody cares
they could look it up.
Yeah.
I know I don't. I know I'm ready to it up. Yeah. I know I don't.
I know I'm ready to move on.
All right.
I'm ready to live my life.
And Sam's got a point!
Now, that's where they drop the ball in their enthusiasm.
And I think it's because they kind of hope you lose.
Oh.
I would think it's because it's always more exciting
when somebody names the film
than gets a point by someone else not naming it
that is true
I tried
it was a valiant effort
you named a movie that is around that time
and two out of the three top leads
thanks Sam
that means something from you
so Kevin of course was not involved
in that particular skirmish,
so that means
he gets to go first,
and then we go to Sam.
Yeah.
So good luck, Kevin.
Choosing between
these categories.
Dr. Dolittle.
Is that the choice?
No.
The 19th hole.
Ooh.
Or rock the vote.
Okay.
Dr. Dolittle, 19th hole, or rock the vote? Let's do Dr. Doolittle 19th hole or rock the vote
Let's do Dr. Doolittle
These are
Movies where humans
Talk to animals
Oh shit
Humans are animals
That'd be every movie Um, humans are animals.
Oh, that'd be every movie.
This category is every movie.
Every movie ever made.
Except for Ex Machina. Ex Machina.
That's true.
That's humans talking to machines.
But this one,
they talk to the animals.
Learn their languages.
Yeah, they...
What's that guy's name?
Rex Harrison.
He talk sang.
Rex Harrison.
I like that talk singing that he would do.
Three stars for this movie from 2010.
2010.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What can I say about it other than Leonard lists 17 names?
And just for fun, I I'm gonna leave it at that
Oh my god
How many names are dog names?
So how many of the 17 names would you like, Kevin?
Kevin
I'm just gonna Yeah, 15 names, please How many of the 17 names would you like, Kevin?
I'm just going to... Yeah, 15 names, please.
Yeah, that's a strong...
What the fuck?
That's a great opening bit.
Sam, what do you want to do with that?
Three stars, 20 cents.
I just want to hear Doug name 50 actors.
Name that movie.
Okay.
I don't know, strategy-wise, if that's the best move.
Oh, it's probably not, but... There's no way we're going to know half of these names.
I disagree.
I respectfully disagree.
Kevin.
Bacon.
Bacon.
from the lowest build to the third build here are your names lassie for this movie they got three stars from 2010 where animals and humans talk to each other it's pretty good for an animal
human movie well some of these are animals and some of these are humans.
I've said too much.
Michael Goff.
Imelda Staunton.
Ooh, last man Staunton.
Christopher Lee.
Timothy Spall.
Paul Whitehouse. Timothy Spall. Paul Whitehouse.
Barbara Windsor.
Do you guys know any of these people?
Alan Rickman.
Oh.
Stephen Fry.
Oh, here's the money.
Former and future guests on this show, Michael Sheen.
Tim Puget Smith.
Martin. show, Michael Sheen, Tim Puget Smith,
Martin doesn't
matter.
Socas, C-S-O-K-A-S,
Matt Lucas,
Crispin Glover,
Anne
Hathaway,
and Helena Bonham Carter
What is the name of the movie?
Alice in Wonderland?
That is correct!
Yes!
Whoa!
The very first name you mentioned, Michael Goh,
he was Alfred in all the earlier Batman movies
with Michael Keaton.
Yeah, it's too bad there's no bonus points.
Well, I'm just saying.
To your nerdy knowledge, but it's true.
Yeah, he was Alfred.
That's how you like to pronounce it?
Goh?
Goh?
Goff?
Goff?
I don't know.
He's dead now, it doesn't matter. I don't know. He's dead now.
It doesn't matter.
I don't know.
I finally learned fucking Gail Gadot just from hearing them say it on SNL the other night.
I always thought it was Gadot.
Right.
She's Israeli.
It's Gadot.
Yeah.
Gadot figure.
I've been waiting to find out what her name was.
Waiting for Gadot.
Okay.
Waiting for your laugh for my joke.
Okay, so that means that Kevin has a point, Sam has a point,
and Matt, it's time to get into this.
You got to get on the board, buddy.
You got to go first.
I didn't even get a chance in that one.
I was going to say Clipper.
And then it flies
right back at Sam.
Good luck.
All right.
I wish everybody luck when they play against Sam.
Dr. Dulo.
Would you like four-letter word?
Or curl?
Five letters.
Or eat my dust?
Or Google Maps?
I have no idea what that one is.
Do you have some idea what Eat My Dust or Four Letter Word is?
Four Letter Word?
You think it's going to be a movie that's a four letter word?
I'm going to go...
What was the second one?
Eat My Dust. All right, second one? Eat My Dust.
All right, let's try Eat My Dust.
Okay.
This is movies featuring cooking or a kitchen.
Very confident nod from Besser.
Very confident.
This could be the apartment. It has a kitchen in it
The year
It's not Ghostbusters
The year is
2014
Is this the opening line?
Three stars
from Leonard Maltin
And again He lists ten names stars from Leonard Maltin.
And again,
he lists ten names,
and I think I've said
enough.
Cooking or a kitchen
in it.
2014.
Three
stars.
Ten names. I think...
Ten names.
I can name it.
Can I just say that?
Or do I have to say in a number of names?
Zero names.
Zero names, he says.
He's zeroed in on it, Sam.
Matt Besser named that movie.
Chef.
That is correct.
You sure you don't want to take a lap around the whole room?
The audience had counted me out.
That's what makes us a great story.
Sam is seething over there.
No, not at all.
Oh, you're mad.
Buddy.
I love a three-way tie.
I thought you were just going to stop it. I love it.
I thought you were just going to stop it.
I love it.
I had to have a drink because this is terribly exciting.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
It's so great that we have three players that are actually naming the movies.
Let me just cross that one off of my list. We did that.
And now. Who challenged who there?
I challenged him.
Oh, Sam challenged.
So we start with Kevin.
And it goes back to Sam.
Yep.
Sam's always got control.
Well, not really.
That second bidder, I think, is Kroosh.
Preventing myself from getting mathematically boxed out. That's what I'm
doing.
What did that mean?
I can't find any more categories
in this thing.
I'll get to it.
There's a whole book.
Yeah.
This guy really prepared.
I make up the category names,
but this guy did everything else
because the app doesn't,
the Leonard Mullen app
doesn't work anymore.
Yeah.
If you upgrade to iOS 11,
it really doesn't work anymore.
It's a very sad day.
Yeah.
Really messes with you
when that app's gone.
What'd you do to mourn the loss of the app, Sam?
I called Leonard and cried for a while.
Oh, really? He just let you cry?
Yeah, he put me on hold.
Not more than 90 minutes, though.
No, he said this cry is beginning to suffer from over-length.
No, he said this cry is beginning to suffer from over length.
I give this cry two and a half stars.
All right, I'm out.
Sorry, guys.
Wow.
No, just kidding.
Here we go.
Okay.
Which one of these categories would you like, Kevin?
X-ray? X-Ray?
Lando or Sea?
Or Days of Future Past?
Oh, man.
I want Days of Future Past.
Okay. Days of Future Past.
Is movies with a specific day in the title?
Yeah.
Damn it.
I thought it was going to be X-Men movies.
I'm better at those.
Yeah.
You should have chose X-Ray because that's movies with X in the title.
Fuck.
Fuck. You should have chose X-Ray because that's movies with X in the title. Fuck!
Sorry, dude.
Okay, so this is from... Oh, what year is this?
This is 2014 as well.
Three stars from Leonard Maltin.
He says about this movie that it is unsurprising and overlong.
Yet the movie still works.
He really is a length diva.
Yeah.
No, he is.
It comes up a lot.
And he names 20 names.
Cool.
This is a good one to wrap this up on.
20 fucking names.
So this has days of the week or like a holiday?
This, you know, the three of you all got the same information,
but I'll try to clarify.
Yeah, it's just about a specific day.
So it's just the title somehow mentions a specific day.
All right.
Let's try 17 names.
Like, let's say there was a movie called Day Day.
That's not specific.
Or 28 Days.
That's 28 different days.
Yes.
That's a better point.
We should be saying titles that do not fit this category.
But 28 Days later would work,
because that's 28 days from the last day of the first 28.
So that'd be one specific day.
Days of wine and roses would not count.
That's too many days.
So many days.
More wine than roses in my case.
But what do you think there,
Kevin? 20 names. He already said
17. Oh, I was
busy joking around.
I'll say 15 names.
There's so many to choose from, guys.
Matt's choking
on all these names.
Seems like so many names.
Right?
It seems like we're just being wimpy.
I mean, we'll never guess the first seven.
That's why I just started eight names.
Did you really just make that bid?
Yeah.
He's saying eight names.
And I liked how people looked at me.
That guy looked at me with respect for the first time tonight.
I said, eight names.
He started nodding.
He's like, yeah, okay.
Never liked his comedy, but eight names.
Never subscribed to CISO, but this eight name bid
has really turned me around on this guy.
That musical sounded lame, but eight names.
What is it again?
Let's get in another plug for it.
Stolen Idea, Stitcher Premium, promo code stolen.
Get it for free.
It's a musical.
Gimberling's in it, Ackerman, Paul Rust.
Yeah, it's great.
I mean, it sounds great.
Thanks. Yeah, I haven't experienced it. Go to stolenide great. I mean, it looks great. Thanks.
Yeah, I haven't experienced it.
Go to stolenidea.net.
Get a little taste.
Okay.
Okay.
Eight names, he says.
I forgot what you were talking about.
Oh, yeah.
Kevin.
Yeah, I got to say Matt Besser.
Name that movie.
Oh, fuck.
Yes, and then.
I never get it.
Sorry, guys.
See, now that's what Sam was talking about.
He just got mathematically boxed out.
So, you know, he has no chance,
but you have a chance.
Kevin has a chance.
And, you know, Sam's been on four shows in a row,
so I don't feel too bad about this.
No, no, nor do I.
Yeah.
I'm fine with this.
Because there's no way Matt's naming this movie.
Asshole.
See, he is an asshole.
If you were putting money down, you'd put it on Kevin? Oh, yeah. Because there's no way Matt's naming this movie. Asshole. See, he is an asshole.
If you were putting money down, you'd put it on Kevin?
Oh, yeah.
I just said chef and zero names.
I know.
Alright, 2014.
I think it's chef of day.
Three stars.
Chef a certain day.
Hey,
who here celebrates Chef?
Because I know it came out in 2014.
Unsurprising
and overlong.
Yet the movie still works.
And your
eight names are
Wallace Langham, Josh Pence, Timothy Simmons, or is it Simons, the guy from Veep?
Simons.
I shouldn't have said that.
Ah!
Chai McBride, Brad William Henke, Kevin Dunn, and W. Earl Brown.
It's actually Shy McBride.
Shy?
Instead of Chai?
Instead of Chai.
All right.
The crickets have my back.
I know. I know.
I worked with him on an episode of Hawaii Five-0.
Wedding day!
What?
What just happened?
He said wedding day.
You know, that famous day.
That's a specific day. I know you haven't experienced it.
Sick burn.
That burn is in the hospital.
All right, so that is incorrect.
Okay.
I mean, what is that movie even?
I don't know.
Yeah.
You took a shot.
You took a shot.
I appreciate it.
Nobody in the audience say anything yet,
but Sam and Kevin,
do either of you have an idea at this point?
Nope.
All right, so Kevin is officially our winner tonight.
So proud of you.
I'm sorry, Sam, but...
Dude, dude,
you beat Matt Besser.
Well done.
Sam was a mathematically
poxed out impossibility.
That's right.
Okay, so,
but just for laughs,
and Matt,
you can do this too.
I'm going to continue
naming names until one of you, see if one of you can name names.
No, it's leading up to the top name.
Yeah.
I don't know how, those names weren't too obscure.
I mean, this is a solid cast.
And continues with the great Tom Welling.
You know, he was on Smallville, I think.
Wade Williams.
Rosanna Arquette.
That's how you pronounce it, Sam.
Yep.
Chadwick Boseman.
Ellen Burstyn.
Terry Crews.
I think that's a really good clue.
Sean Puffycombs.
Sam Elliott.
Frank Langella.
Dennis Leary.
Jennifer Garner. Jennifer Garner.
And Kevin Costner in...
Waterworld Day.
This is from 2014?
I think that's what I said, yeah.
And it's a movie with a specific day?
I know it's warm in here tonight,
but if there was like a breeze going through here,
what would you say today is?
Windy day.
Fart day.
It's called draft day.
That title is,
the category title is decidedly misleading.
Yeah, no kidding. That's a specific day.
It happens every year. It's more specific than a
draft day.
Draft day.
That is deeply misleading.
Right, but also you clearly
just don't know that movie. You are absolutely correct.
You would have recognized it by
a lot of those names. No, no, no.
Yeah, it's one you missed
for some reason.
Yeah, but you know what it is?
Maybe because it's overlong
and unsurprising.
Yeah, that's it.
I read Leonard's review
and decided I was going to skip it.
But this was a surprising
turn of events,
and come get your prizes,
Jason and Law.
Congratulations.
Yay.
I put it all into one bag
in case you have to fly.
He lives around
here.
Hey, give me the Blade Runner
and the other one for the end here.
Sam, start us off with your
plugs and congratulations on your
four show run. Thank you.
This was so much fun.
I'm exhausted and I need to sleep for a week.
You can follow
me on Twitter and Instagram
at Sam Levine, S-A-M-M
L-E-V-I-N-E. Check out
Kevin Pollack's chat show on iTunes and
Earwolf. Upcoming guests,
Ricky Gervais is going to be streaming
on the show live Sunday, October
29th at 12.30pm
Pacific, but then that'll drop the following Tuesday.
Check that one out.
Cool.
Yeah.
Kevin Kraft.
You can hear me on the Jason Ellis Show on SiriusXM.
Channel 103, weekdays, noon Pacific, 3 p.m. Eastern.
Got a podcast, Mad Scientist Party Hour,
on the Riotcast Network.
And Instagram, at Kevin Craft, Twitter at
Kevin Craft Sucks.
Sorry, I was just listening to a
voicemail. Like
Joe DeRosa left me a voicemail
during the show and I'm like, did somebody like
call him and say I was talking shit about him or something?
Weird. But it was just a nice message
about wanting to know if I wanted to go see Blade Runner
on Thursday morning. Oh, that's nice. You gonna do it so old-fashioned you can't fucking
text that yeah leaves a 30 second message talking about that is your visual voicemail not working
either what's that is your visual voicemail not working either what does that mean i'll talk to
you after the show you mean i could have just looked at what he said? Yeah. But I'm also several versions behind because I won't update my phone.
Ah, okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
Hey, can I keep this doobie?
I think that's the idea is he's trying to, I don't know if he wants to keep the whole thing,
but he used it to lure you into picking it.
So that's your extra prize.
Yeah, put it behind your ear.
Pull me once.
And don't get pulled over looking like that.
That would be funny to talk to a cop
with like a joint behind your ear the whole time.
Then you should say, you're like, ah!
Fucking magicians.
I'm going home from the Magic Castle, officer.
Those guys are dicks.
All right.
Oh, Matt,
do another round of plugs.
Yeah, I got a show
coming out on Netflix
called Haters Back Off.
I'm the dad of Miranda Sings.
You guys seen that show?
Season two.
I'm going to be in it.
And of course,
what I've been saying, Stolen Idea. It's a musical. It's 60
minutes long. All those guys are
in it and it's really funny and
improper humans. Thanks guys.
What was
a
fun phrase that came up during the show
tonight that we can use as a hashtag for this
episode? You can think of anything?
Oh, you're asking. I can never think of anything at the end.
I'm trying to remember.
Hashtag
Morgan's a robot?
Nope. Way too deep.
I'll take it.
Because now that we've talked about it, it'll make sense.
Perfect.
You know, when people first look at it, they'll be like, Morgan's a robot.
This is going to be hilarious whenever this is about.
Mr. Robot's coming back for season three.
I heard season two sucked.
I liked it.
It wasn't as good as one, but it was good.
So you think they can rebound?
Yeah, definitely.
All right.
Good luck, Robot.
I did start watching that show thinking it was going to be about robots.
It's not at all.
There's no robots in Mr. Robot?
It's not.
Spoiler.
You get to the end of three seasons.
Still, where's that robot?
Is the theme song to Mr. Robot the stick song, Mr. Roboto?
I don't want to get me Mr. Robot. No stick song Mr. Roboto? I don't wanna get me Mr.
Robot, no, I don't want it.
I'm gonna use that hashtag too, no robots
and Mr. Robot.
And
hey, watch this you guys. And all of my
upcoming tour dates are at
douglosmovies.com
That's douglosmovies.com
Yeah!
Isn't that weird?
Yeah, I need something like that.
Even like if I say that in the grocery store,
that happens.
Like everywhere I go.
Hey guys, everybody can listen to Stolen Idea.
That's the story here!
Yeah!
That's pretty good.
I think we might have a new thing on the show
where the audience has to yell back the plugs.
That's a hashtag.
Yell them plugs.
They knew I'd get one eventually.
Thank you once again to everybody for coming out.
To all my guests, Matt Besser, Kevin Kraft,
and Sam Levine.
You can go or not go.
Doesn't matter. As always,
dude. Alright, he's taking off. See you later, Matt.
As always,
fake news and bad drugs are a shithead.
Yeah, that probably
didn't get the reaction he was hoping for.
Or you guys
were hoping for. And bitch
ass Mike Pence is a shithead. It's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you,
cause Doug loves movies!