Doug Loves Movies - Matt Besser, Michaela Watkins, Cedric Yarbrough, and Oscar Nuñez Guest

Episode Date: November 4, 2014

Doug welcomes Matt Besser, Michaela Watkins, Cedric Yarbrough, and Oscar Nuñez to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/...privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Doug hates candy wrappers, skinny babies, sticky seeds With 50 azithop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Because Doug loves movies! Hey everybody! My name is Doug and I love movies! Hey, Doug loves movies! my name is Doug and I love movies coming to you from the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater
Starting point is 00:00:31 on Tuesday November 4th 2014 Wolf of Wall Street fight Terminator 2 Judgment Day of the Deadman walking to all the president's men speaking of presidents did you guys remember to vote today? We got some voters in the house. Little stickers. That guy's got a Douglas Movies button on.
Starting point is 00:00:50 They give you those at the voting booth when you do your part. Nashville, Tennessee, Thursday night, November 6th. That's this Thursday. I'm doing stand-up at 9.30 p.m. And then Saturday, I'm doing a Douglas Movies at 4.20, both shows at Zany's.
Starting point is 00:01:07 And I've also got shows this month in Tempe, Tampa, San Diego, douglovesmovies.com for all the deets, dates, and links. And Netflix havers, people who have Netflix, watch Doug Dynasty this Thursday, also November 6th. And watch it Friday, too, for all I care. Like get up every day and watch, have a Doug
Starting point is 00:01:27 Dynasty day. Smoke a few bowls, watch my special, and then you know, forget to go to work or whatever. I think you'll enjoy it. I hope you enjoy it. Prize bag's got a lot of great stuff in it and an album by something called, a band called Leon that I acquired and do not have the means to play.
Starting point is 00:01:52 So maybe the winner tonight will have some sort of old-timey device to play this on. But if you're into more modern shit, you can check out my CD, Gateway Doug 2, Forced Fun, and lots of other fun stuff that's in the bag that we will sort through it with the guests. You can see there's four chairs tonight, which means we've got four great guests. Please give a big, warm welcome, UCB, to Cedric Yarborough, Michaela Watkins, Oscar Nunez, and Matt Besser. Here they come. Sit wherever you like, you guys. Anywhere on the stage, Oscar. I should have been more clear about that.
Starting point is 00:02:51 There's a couple of good seats out there you might have tried to snag. But thank you, all of you, for being here. And let's start off with first-time guest, Mikhail Watkins, everybody. So casually waving to the crowd, not even interested in her microphone. There you go. Talk into that for a second, please. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:03:12 She just can't speak. She lost her voice. She doesn't know either. Such a pro about it, yeah. She must have lost her hearing, too. Weird Twilight Zone. God, she won't shut up, though. Have you ever seen a group of people doing sign language having an argument with all of each other?
Starting point is 00:03:29 Yeah. Because they have to, they're constantly hitting each other because you've got to look, like, look at my hands while I'm trying to argue with you. Yeah. So they're, like, hitting each other a lot. I didn't even realize that that would be part of it, you know? Hitting isn't just an exclamation point?
Starting point is 00:03:43 As in, like, you know, look at my hands. But they have to constantly do that if it's a group of people all arguing with each other. Use your microphone voice. There's a microphone. They're the demographic with the most cases of whiplash because of that. Okay, don't use your microphone voice.
Starting point is 00:04:02 I'll take it back. Yeah, yeah. No, I get it. But just hang on to your mics, you guys. We're going to need you to speak again repeatedly throughout the show. But I just want to start off by saying that there is sort of a theme in place here tonight because
Starting point is 00:04:22 Michaela is the executive producer of a new program called Benched on USA. They know characters. Boom! Characters, welcome. Yes, that's what it is. And that's on the side of the prize bag tonight because
Starting point is 00:04:37 Michaela brought a bag of Benched schwag. We got a gigantic Benched coffee mug that you could have soup out of if you want to change things up. Soup. Welcome.
Starting point is 00:04:50 And then two hot liquids. Welcome. Those are like gavels. They're little, yeah, they're pencils.
Starting point is 00:04:59 Oh, it's a legal show. Yeah, they're also gavels. They're gavels for the least effective judge in the history of everything.
Starting point is 00:05:08 I said order. And then also some lovely file folders that say Benched USA on them.
Starting point is 00:05:18 They really stuck to the law theme of the program. I'm glad because it would be weird if it was like
Starting point is 00:05:23 Benched Baseballs. Benched Ballballs. Benched Benched Balls. Park Benched. And the premise of Benched is that the great Eliza Koop from
Starting point is 00:05:37 Happy Endings stars in it as a hot shot lawyer who gets taken down a peg or two and has to work for the DA's office. No, as a public defender. The opposite of the DA's office. The other office across the hall.
Starting point is 00:05:53 Like when they go, you have a right to a lawyer if you can't afford one. That's them. So she does it and then she has to do at least in the first episode that I saw she has to compete with her ex on the opposing council. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:08 Friction. Dramatic friction. That's what that is. And then more dramatic friction is brought by Cedric Yarbrough is here, everybody, who went from the great Reno 9-11 to he is. That's why it failed. It's Reno September 11th. Yes.
Starting point is 00:06:30 Come on, Doug. And where he was a law officer, and now you are a bailiff on Bencht. Is that a, what is that? A demotion? Sideways? That's Hollywood. Hollywood. Hollywood. They do a? That's Hollywood. Hollywood.
Starting point is 00:06:46 How they do a black man in Hollywood. No, I'm really happy. Michaela wanted me to be a part of the show, and I was like, yeah, I would love to be a part of the show. Do you only do roles in law enforcement? Roles? No. Just say yes.
Starting point is 00:07:03 Just say yes. From now on Hollywood Cedric's your man if there's law enforcement involved and Oscar Nunez is here everybody of the office and now benched and also the motion
Starting point is 00:07:20 picture of the proposal which I often cite as one of the rom-coms that I can tolerate. Yeah, same here. Right? Yeah. I agree 100%. It's absolutely bearable.
Starting point is 00:07:31 And, um... But you have a... It is. It sounds insulting, but I mean it. It's very bearable. I mean, on the scale of rom-coms, it's actually somewhat charming. It is.
Starting point is 00:07:44 I keep digging a deeper hole. But you're great at it. Is that the blurb? It's absolutely bearable. Is there a reason we don't... Somewhat charming. We don't wipe this down? Oh, you need to wipe down?
Starting point is 00:07:58 Let me ask somebody. Does anybody here have a wet rag or something? I wasn't being serious. I was giving you a comedic put down because you dissed my proposal movie. I thought I'd put down your table. You know this. Well, you know, that's my deepest point of pride in this podcast is this fucking table. And I was pretty upset that you needed to wipe down.
Starting point is 00:08:22 I was going to take care of business. Doesn't feel good, does it? Yeah. Bearable. You don't talk about the table enough with your listeners, as a matter of fact. No, a lot of the listeners don't even know there's a table. It's barely a table.
Starting point is 00:08:38 When I do these shows on the road, I say, no table, please, because I'm all about the bass. No table. Cedric brought a copy of Reno 9-11 Miami, the movie, and it's unrated. Does that mean we get to see your dong or something? Yes. Or Dangle finally comes out of his pants? My penis is out in that movie. Or maybe there's
Starting point is 00:09:07 a whale, a beached whale on the back. That's my penis we're talking about. Oh shit! Look at his penis everybody. That is nice. That's a good size. Nice blow hole. Alright so that's in the prize bag
Starting point is 00:09:22 and Matt Besser's here everybody. Thanks guys. Check out the table. You brought the UCB Black DVD. This is the first time it going out. We're filming acts from both theaters on both coasts that do particularly well during the year.
Starting point is 00:09:47 A lot of unknowns there and just putting out a DVD every year. So we'll be doing that and this will be the first one we're giving away. And why is it called Black? Because that's that color in front of you. I don't know. Like each year it'll be a different color or next year it'll be Black 2?
Starting point is 00:10:05 Blacker. And then you also brought the six most important sets in the history of stand-up, your comedy CD. That's right. Yeah. And you play a bunch of different characters on that. I do. They're all on the back.
Starting point is 00:10:19 Who's this guy with his pants just pulled up and his shirt tucked in? He's a clone that escaped from the clone laboratory. Okay. Because all the other characters are quite elaborate, and that one's just like you in a t-shirt and wearing your pants weird. Well, that's actually a skirt, but you can't tell, I guess. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:10:36 Yeah, you can't tell that's a skirt. It's also a child's shirt. Oh, alright. Well, there's a lot of really interesting characters it turns out. I'm glad I dug into that. Glad we got into it. Characters welcome. Oh, and some weed thing that I threw in there. All right, so all that stuff is in the prize bag.
Starting point is 00:10:53 Somebody's going to win it tonight. As you can see, we've got some newer players, so I'm not going to force them to. You'll see what we're going to do. But before we do that, since this is Doug Loves Movies and you guys are all performers and you probably go to, you've seen movies.
Starting point is 00:11:13 I've seen them. Yeah. What was the last movie you saw, Matt Besser? I have a new born relatively. I feel like I'm not going to be able to go to the movie theater for a while, but I do watch them on Netflix. That counts, right? I saw this one that I think is new to Netflix called Blue Rain.
Starting point is 00:11:30 Has anybody seen that one? You know what I'm talking about? Blue Ruin? Is that it? Yeah. There's Black Rain, but that's not new to Netflix. Did I really fuck up the title? Blue Ruin.
Starting point is 00:11:41 Is it about a dude? He's got the beard at the beginning and... It's like a revenge movie and he goes and he kills people. I don't remember him having a beard, but yeah. Because at the beginning he's like getting out of... In the second scene he shaves it. Yeah. But he's a real unassuming killer, right?
Starting point is 00:12:03 Yeah. That's what I loved about it. Is it Blue Ruin? He's what I loved about him. Is it Blue Ruin? He's so blue ruin. He's so unassuming that it's kind of a surprise that he starts killing people. Yeah. And you ruined it.
Starting point is 00:12:13 I always wondered what that title meant. And now I know. When people talk about it, they're going to blue ruin it. You do know that five minutes in, though. Yeah, yeah. It's a revenge movie. It's like Falling Down, but with an unassuming guy. It's a sweeter kind of, yeah, it's an unassuming revenge guy.
Starting point is 00:12:30 So it's interesting. Yeah, it's kind of darkly funny, even. Yeah. Matt, is it a foreign movie? It's not. It's not? No, it's just an independent film. I wish I knew more about it.
Starting point is 00:12:43 I can't even say the whole title. It's like eight letters in the whole thing. Maybe it had just an independent film. I wish I knew more about it. I can't even say the whole title. It's like eight letters in the whole thing. Maybe it had a really weird font. That is obviously what it is. My vision is going. You blew it and you ruined it. Have you guys seen Horry Pooter?
Starting point is 00:12:59 That's another one I like. I think you're getting that one wrong too. I'm pretty sure. What about Jews? That one about the shark? Jews? Oh, no. That is way off.
Starting point is 00:13:14 What about you, Oscar? Have you been to the cinema lately? No. We have a two-year-old, and it's just so difficult. But you know what I did? I went on Amazon, and I saw Hercules the the rocks movie yeah really didn't work out for you why is that the movie went out of your way I don't know I get this precious 90 minutes how will I use it I didn't want to think too much I didn't want to think
Starting point is 00:13:44 I just wanted to see some popcorn bubblegum thing. But then you end up having to think how much you hate it and yourself. I fast-forwarded to the fight scenes. I didn't want to. The dialogue was predictable and boring. It's just awful. Did it pick up a little in the fight scenes, maybe?
Starting point is 00:13:59 Very little. I can't even imagine what it would be besides fight scenes. You know what? The last movie we went to the movies to see... A lot of discussing taking over the city. Philip Seymour Hoffman, the man, the one where he's a spy, the John...
Starting point is 00:14:13 If all four of you can't actually name the most recent movie you've seen, that's going to be interesting. The last Philip Seymour Hoffman. If they don't say that... It was called Most Wanted Man. It was a great movie. That was great.
Starting point is 00:14:27 Another guy's yelling out Hunger Games because I guess technically that would be a later... Yeah. He's got like... He had like three or four in the can when he...
Starting point is 00:14:35 When he kicked the bucket. Yeah. Which is a weird way to describe it. When you said can... When it's such a tragic death. He kicked the bucket. Was there a lot of heroin in the bucket?
Starting point is 00:14:46 Yeah. His number was up. The number of the amount of heroin that he could... Too soon. But whatever. I think he would have laughed. He would have roared.
Starting point is 00:15:02 And then shot up again. Don't do drugs, you guys. Cedric, what do you got? Have you been to the cinema? I've been to the cinema. I saw Feather Guy. Michael Keaton. Michael Keaton.
Starting point is 00:15:20 Birdman. Which one? Boardman. Boardman. Oh, Birdman. Oh, Birdman, yeah. Birdman. Which one? Boardman. Boardman. Oh, Birdman. Oh, Birdman, yeah. Feather guy. Feather.
Starting point is 00:15:32 Bridge over River Man. And did you enjoy the Birdman? I loved the Birdman. It's a very interesting movie. It's an amazing film, I thought. And I loved how Keaton, even during the play, you can see him be an actor while he's
Starting point is 00:15:49 acting on the play. It's really, really good. Yeah, they gotta be super good to pull that shit off. Does he shave? Because in this one, in the blue ruin, the guy shaves. He shaves? He doesn't shave. You saw Gone Girl 2?
Starting point is 00:16:05 They've already made Gone Girl 2. I saw a lot. They've already made Gone Girl 2? Yeah. Yeah. Gone Girl 2. Still gone. Electric boogaloo. She's gone.
Starting point is 00:16:14 After all these years. Where's she at? Gone Girl 2. Where's she at? Where's she at? Tyler Perry's Gone Girl 2. Only She At Tyler Perry's Gone Girl 2 I like the
Starting point is 00:16:27 Magic Johnson Theater He was That would be called Where's She At also He was Tyler Perry's very good at
Starting point is 00:16:35 Gone Girl I don't know why I say that like I'm surprised he's obviously a great actor if he can if he can play
Starting point is 00:16:40 if he can pull off that Madea character so well Michaela what have you seen Well I'm embarrassed but I'm not gonna lie if we could pull off that Medea character so well. Michaela, what have you seen? Well, I'm embarrassed, but I'm not going to lie, because I don't lie. So I'm going to tell you that I saw,
Starting point is 00:16:54 I was on an airplane, so I was held hostage. But I saw Chef. Ugh. Why? Because you're sitting in a plane where the last thing's gonna happen is any decent food coming around and you're just watching him just whip up all these amazing dishes that and i hate i just hate and i yes i watched it you know but i i hate show movies about like like i get it you know we're allies. We all like good food.
Starting point is 00:17:25 I get it. What did you think it was about? I just knew, but I almost wanted to see because I was like this perversion to see how grotesque they would be with food. I hate movies where people are eating. I'm so on board with that.
Starting point is 00:17:38 I so agree with you. We're talking about this on your other podcast today. We're talking about Chewing your other podcast today. All right, sorry. We were talking about chewing while eating on my food podcast. But, yeah, it's... It's like, ew, there's a microphone seconds away from where your mouth is salivating, and I don't need, you know, I don't need you to be like...
Starting point is 00:17:59 Does that mean you're not a... Perfect, you know? Does that mean you're not a fan of Brad Pitt? Because he finds a reason to eat in almost every scene in every movie. But I guess he does it in a more tasteful way. Yeah, he does tend to eat.
Starting point is 00:18:15 Right, so it's so sexy you can't fight it. Yeah, maybe somebody's merciful to edit room. And they turn it down. There's something so precious about food movies where... Do you know what I'm saying? Matt, you're not...
Starting point is 00:18:29 Precious was also a food movie. She had that bucket of chicken. Oh, no. Damn it, I wish I said that. You're getting all the good black jokes out of Tyler Perry. Sorry, I'll try to lay back on those. Thank you. Please.
Starting point is 00:18:52 Let's play some games, you guys. Yeah. All right. Let's do it. Let the games begin. Folks in the audience brought fashion some name tags that are sometimes movie related, sometimes just random things. Like that, what's that
Starting point is 00:19:08 over there lit up over there? Iron Sam. Oh, it's like an Iron Man doll or figure or something? It's just that thing that's in his chest? Yeah, I made it. You made it? Is that your face? Are you Sam? You're Sam. I sure am.
Starting point is 00:19:24 Why didn't you just get this on pen poster? For I am Sam and save yourself all that work. Because you already had that and you already made it. It's cool. I like it. Did you vote today?
Starting point is 00:19:39 I sure did. You were trying to make sure he wasn't wasting his time making Iron Man chest plates when he should be voting. Wait, I didn't mean vote on the best Marvel character of all time. You knew that, right? Yeah, I voted today. That's why Tommy Chong's still on Dancing with the Stars. Can I ask a quick question?
Starting point is 00:20:04 Please. Now that the lights are up. Do you get Joaquin Phoenix a lot? Which guy? The one that doesn't look like Joaquin Phoenix? Exactly. He looks like crazy Joaquin Phoenix. When he was acting all crazy, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:21 Longer answer, please. I really thought you were Joaquin Joaquin in the crazy days Do you get Rabbi Shlomo a lot? Alright Alright, sorry about that So yeah, so Everybody on the panel,
Starting point is 00:20:45 please go into the audience and pick the name tag that you would like to play for in today's game. Games. We'll play some games. We're going out there? Yeah, go on out there. But that crazy guy's out there.
Starting point is 00:20:58 Well, you know, you could... Matt went right for that thing. I can't say that I blame you. I like it a lot. All right, while they do that, we'll do this. We'll be right back. We're back. Who are you playing for, Matt?
Starting point is 00:21:12 I'm playing for Sam. I am Sam. Iron Sam. Yeah, that's the guy. And he made that elaborate thing. You could just pop that right into Robert Downey's chest and keep him alive or whatever it does in those movies. Gives him wit.
Starting point is 00:21:26 Good job. He's a very witty dude. I get to keep this, right? No, I don't think so. Did you see him? His whole face went white. We spent a day on that. Oscar?
Starting point is 00:21:43 Alexables. A guy took Lunchables and he put Alex in front of it. And changed it to Alexables a guy took lunchables and he put Alex in front of it and changed it to Alexables good job Alex did you put a shit head on the back Alex
Starting point is 00:21:55 I forgot okay cool we're probably all better off anyway and then Cedric has a Darth Vader yeah I have Breezy Puffs
Starting point is 00:22:03 that's right is that your name Breezy Puffs. That's right. Is that your name? And it says... Breezy Puffs. Who let the droids out? Who? Who? Who?
Starting point is 00:22:16 That was CNN. And Michaela Scott. I have Zoe versus the volcano. And I picked this because she's like me. She does the least amount of work to get by. This is like a beautiful little thing. She just changed the Joe to Zoe. Like this has...
Starting point is 00:22:36 Yeah, it's one letter. Yeah. And I just thought I love this movie. And also, nobody asked me so I'm going to stop talking. Joe vs. the Volcano is a classic. I saw it recently.
Starting point is 00:22:52 It doesn't stand up. The movie holds up but the name tag doesn't stand up. You don't have to stand it up really if you don't. You can just set it down. It's cool. Speaking of seeing things on planes I saw a lot of episodes of Trophy Wife really if you don't. You can just set it down. It's cool. Thank you. Speaking of seeing things on planes,
Starting point is 00:23:07 I saw a lot of episodes of Trophy Wife on planes and chose to because it was very entertaining and you were great on it. Thank you so much. Good job. Thank you. To determine who goes first
Starting point is 00:23:17 in today's game that we're going to play, let's do some lines with Mark. You guys want to do some fucking lines with Mark? Oh my God. that we're gonna play. Let's do some lines with Mark. You guys wanna do some fucking lines or what? Or what? Oh my God. How you guys doing? You doing good? You gonna fucking do this or what?
Starting point is 00:23:35 Holy shit. What's up, dude? How you doing? How you doing? Fucking look good, dude. Hitting that elliptical? Love it. He shows up all the time.
Starting point is 00:23:43 He's like a regular on the show now. I didn't know that. Yeah, up all the time. He's a regular on the show now. I didn't know that. Yeah, he makes the time. Donnie helps out by driving him here. Got to. Keeps the car going. My little butler, Donnie. How you guys doing?
Starting point is 00:23:56 You doing good? We're great. Amazing. Did you make that? Sorry? Did you make that Darth Vader thing? No, you know how this show works. This is neat.
Starting point is 00:24:03 Here we go. Ready? Okay. All right, so Mark's going to say a line from a movie and you guys... I'm going to perform it. That's what I meant to say. He's going to perform the hell out of it
Starting point is 00:24:17 and then you guys, as soon as you know it, just yell out what you think the answer is. Look good, feel good. I'm sorry. It's always confusing what's part of it. I think it's about to start. Charlie. Here, this is definitely it.
Starting point is 00:24:34 There are two types of thieves in this world. Those who steal to enrich their lives and those who steal to refine their lives. Don't be the latter. Charlie. Don't be the latter. Don't be the latter. Charlie, don't be a latter. Don't be the latter. I guess it's a movie where somebody turns into a fucking latter. No.
Starting point is 00:24:54 Latter. Charlie, there are two types of thieves in this world. Tonys. Those who steal to enrich their lives. Departed. And those who steal to define their lives. Feather guy. Don't be the latter.
Starting point is 00:25:07 He's talking about Veruca Salt. All right, now I'm going to do it my way. Charlie, what the fuck is wrong with you right now? Don't you understand there's two types of fucking thieves in this world? There's thieves who fucking steal to enrich their fucking lives, and then there's thieves who steal to fucking define their lives. Don't be the fucking latter, dude. Do you know what it is?
Starting point is 00:25:26 Do you want me to do another line from the movie? If you got another one, yeah. Nobody knows what it is. I'm not playing, but I also don't know. Okay, ready? I got a job for you. It's in Italy. I got a job for you. Italian job.
Starting point is 00:25:42 It is the Italian job. The Italian job. Where American. It is the Italian job. Steven got it. Steven got it. The Italian job. Way to fucking go. So the first line was from Italian job. Yeah. And then
Starting point is 00:25:52 that next thing was more of a clue. No, that was the line that I kept fucking pitching because I'm like, we need to say this fucking line at some point in this movie. And Edward Norton's uppity ass wouldn't let me fucking do it.
Starting point is 00:26:06 I was in that movie. You were in that fucking movie. That's right, yeah. Security guard, you fucking killed it, bro. That's right. Mark Wahlberg, everybody. Thank you, Mark. Can I say one thing before I go?
Starting point is 00:26:19 Oh, he's going to show us something before he goes. No, just one thing before I go. Here's the deal. Here we go. 830 tonight, UCB Sunset. If you go straight fucking there from this show, I'm gonna do a fucking show that's gonna change your lives. The first five people to go there and say Funky Bunch is
Starting point is 00:26:31 getting in for free. I fucking mean it. I gotta go. I gotta go do that fucking show. Yeah, you gotta go tell them to be ready for people to walk up and say Funky Bunch. Oh, they're gonna be fucking ready, dude. Everybody's ready, man. Everybody have a good night. Oscar, you look fucking great, dude.
Starting point is 00:26:47 Thank you, Mom. Did you only watch the part of the movie that you were in? That's all. It was a long time ago. Yeah, I mean, I don't remember that there was anyone named Charlie in that movie. And the two different things that he said, talked about. I don't remember any of that.
Starting point is 00:27:07 But good job, Cedric. You get to go first in a game that, yeah. You look great, though. Oscar's very proud of you. You look beautiful, by the way. I was on an airplane. Okay. I was sitting between two
Starting point is 00:27:27 guys and I watched Kill Your Darlings with Daniel Radcliffe. I didn't know it was a gay porn.
Starting point is 00:27:34 He's got his knees behind his ankles getting and the scene went on and on. And I'm sitting between two guys
Starting point is 00:27:40 who are watching football and like NASCAR and I'm like anyway continue. It's very uncomfortable. It's very uncomfortable. Were you mimicking it?
Starting point is 00:27:52 What's that? Why was it uncomfortable? Because the gay scenes went on for a long time and they were very explicit and it was Now if they were hetero scenes I would have
Starting point is 00:28:00 it still would have been like fucking yeah that's what I want. No, no. It would have been too long. I get what I watched no it would have been too long I get it I get it I'm like I get
Starting point is 00:28:06 what you're doing continue next scene you should have just nudged those guys and went this plane crashes let's do this
Starting point is 00:28:12 let's give this ankles behind the ears thing a try that would have made it better is what you're saying I do like I do like it though
Starting point is 00:28:23 when you're in between a couple of TVs like that and there's like games on the other TVs because then when you do want to look away from the explicit gay sex you can you know
Starting point is 00:28:32 macho it up with you can cool it down NASCAR and shit yeah cool it way down alright we're going to play Last Man Stanton
Starting point is 00:28:41 and it's a very simple game but difficult at the same time. Cedric will start, and we take turns naming. I'll play, too, for fun. We take turns naming the films of a person that we will select in a moment. And if you can't think of one, you're out. That's basically how it works. See you later, guys.
Starting point is 00:29:06 No, not out as in have to leave. You can still stick around and make jokes and have a nice time. The remaining 14 minutes of the program. Work the table. Maybe clean it. This fucking table's getting wiped down before next week's show. It's the last thing I do.
Starting point is 00:29:23 Because it is disgusting, though, you pointed it out. There's like dried vomit I do. Because it is disgusting though you pointed it out. Yeah. It's pretty bad. There's like dried vomit on here or something. Now I'm fingering it. That's poop. That's character.
Starting point is 00:29:32 You like to watch that on planes? Yeah. Yeah. All right, my friend that we were talking to earlier that looks like Joaquin Phoenix
Starting point is 00:29:40 during a specific period of time in his life. Do you ever wear like pants with no belt like he did in Her? I'm really looking forward to that inherent vice. That looks like he plays a really wacky character. Yeah, I'm excited about that. Okay, so you get to pick an actor, an actress, or a director, but someone with a really large body of work.
Starting point is 00:30:07 So we have lots of titles to pick from. Jodie Foster. Jodie Foster. I love it. That's a great one. Cedric, you go first. We'll go with the accused. Okay, that says a lot
Starting point is 00:30:26 about you I think looking at you breathing puffs oh no what's up girl let's go play pinball
Starting point is 00:30:37 Michaela Hotel New Hampshire yes I like there's a line in that movie where they say about
Starting point is 00:30:51 Seth Green's character he's a little boy in that movie they say he they call him Egg and they're like why do you call him Egg
Starting point is 00:30:58 and the girl goes because he was born an Egg and he's still an Egg and that that's probably the moment in that movie that makes the most sense. All right. You mean all the incest?
Starting point is 00:31:11 All the incest didn't really work. I'll go with panic room. Matt? Silence of the limbs. Okay, I see what you did there. Don't do that again on the next time around. No more joking around. No more joking around. No more fucking around, guys.
Starting point is 00:31:27 No more mispelling on purpose. People know how strict I am. I like exact titles. What do you think, Oscar? Taxi driver. Oh, of course. So cute in that. Cedric Contact
Starting point is 00:31:48 That's interstellar They were thinking about calling that contact two Michaela This is a movie that literally my parents announced they were getting a divorce to. Bugsy Malone. They brought you to see it? No.
Starting point is 00:32:14 Do you know what guys know what Bugsy Malone is? They got a sitter and went to see this movie about little kids? I told them it was going to be on TV on Channel 3 at 8, 7 Central. And they said, okay okay we're all meeting in the living room and i was like okay but in 10 minutes i called the tv i called the tv and they said, but we're having a family meeting. And then they started in with, your mother and I have decided to separate. And then my sisters burst into tears, and I go,
Starting point is 00:33:00 I just looked at my watch. You're like Rain Man, Bugsy Malone in five. I thought, how long do I have to pretend to be surprised and upset before I get to turn the TV on, because it would be very disrespectful in the middle of like, oh, that's terrible, guys. My name is Tallulah. Well, that was a very interesting aspect of this game. From now on, guys, if anything traumatic happened to you connected to a Jodie Foster movie,
Starting point is 00:33:38 I'm going to go with Flight Plan, which was basically Panic Room, but in a plane. to go with Flight Plan. Which was basically Panic Room, but in a plane. Alright. This is where I embarrass myself. It's not embarrassing. I'm trying to think of one of the ones she did when she was a kid. Was it she?
Starting point is 00:33:59 Oh yeah, I just thought of a couple. And... I know it's one of the two in my head. Is it... Bushy and Parent Trap? Nope. Damn it.
Starting point is 00:34:11 Oscar? Nell? Mm-hmm. I mean... Uh... Uh... Cedric. I'm gonna take Freaky Friday
Starting point is 00:34:25 yeah you are that's the one you meant god damn it oh man I'm going to go even deeper and weirder in her child performances and say Candleshoe oh I'm sorry I went out of turn
Starting point is 00:34:40 Candleshoe I'll take it well played very smart I'm sorry, I went out of turn. Candle. I'll take it. Smart, smart. Very smart. Broglin, too. Good play. All right, I'll go with Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore.
Starting point is 00:35:00 Oh, God. Yeah, that's a great one. Oh, man. Matt's out. I'm going to say Parent Trap. You, God. Yeah, that's a great one. Oh, man. Matt's out. I'm gonna say Parent Trap. You're out. I told you to leave. Oscar. And the Oscar
Starting point is 00:35:16 goes with... Get off me! When the pinball machine, when she's being molested on a pinball machine or something. You're accused. Are you really? I got raped in that movie. That's the accused. I got raped on a Bugsy Malone pinball machine. He's talking about Pinball Wizard.
Starting point is 00:35:33 That's a great movie. She's not in Chicago. I do not know her whereabouts at this time. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out, Doug. Oscar's out. I'm out. I'm out, Doug. Oscar's out. Cedric?
Starting point is 00:35:51 I'm trying to think of that one with Denzel and her. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Denzel? She plays a nanny? She's a human beatbox in it? 25th Hour? That Spike Lee movie? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:16 Why? That is the Spike Lee movie. But what is Jodie Foster playing in it? It's like Ed Norton and Philip Seymour Hoffman. Yeah. Alright, you're out. I'm out. I couldn't think of that movie. Do you have another one, Michaela?
Starting point is 00:36:36 Did, uh... Somebody said Contact already, right? Yeah. What about Bird on a Wire? Oh, yeah yeah she's great as Goldie Hawn should have said yeah
Starting point is 00:36:53 it's hard to beat Doug in this but as long as we're I lose sometimes but it just because you just suddenly just everything drops out
Starting point is 00:37:00 you can't think of another one and there's at least there's got to be at least 30 more. Oh, I got more. Oh, shit. Too late.
Starting point is 00:37:08 But Maverick is the one I'll say to put the final nail in the coffin. Was she in that one with Mel Gibson? Maverick? She directed.
Starting point is 00:37:21 The Beaver. That's the one I thought. The Beaver. She directed. She directed Home for the Holidays and Little Man Tate. I would have accepted those. You would have accepted it? She's in Elysium,
Starting point is 00:37:34 of course. I didn't open it up to the audience yet, though. So I'm going to have to ask you and Matt Besser to leave. That French movie, Les Traps de la Perrante. I have to ask you and Matt Besser. That French movie. That French movie. Les Traps de la Perrante. Remember?
Starting point is 00:37:57 Okay, audience, yell them out. Inside Man. Inside Man, Carney. Summersby. Summersby with Richard Gere. Summersby, that's right. Inside Man. Backdraft. Backdraft. Summersby with Richard Gere. Summersby, that's right. Backtrap.
Starting point is 00:38:06 Backtrap. She's not in Backtrap. Backtrap? Backtrap. Backtrap? What the fuck is that? It's the prequel to Backtrap. A Dennis Hopper movie? Dennis Hopper?
Starting point is 00:38:20 Okay. I don't remember. She takes a shower in it. She takes a shower in it? Yeah. The Jodie Foster story. She was in that? BuzzFeed's 10 Hottest Shower Scenes.
Starting point is 00:38:35 All right, well, you mean like the temperature of the shower? 10 Actresses Scalded by Shower Scenes. So I think that means, correct me if I'm wrong, Cedric's our winner? Was he the last man Stanton? Was he the last one to say a correct one? Or was it Michaela?
Starting point is 00:38:52 It wasn't me. It was a tie. It wasn't a tie. I thought it was you. One person goes after another. I mean, before me was... Oh, we all got eliminated, they're saying. We all got eliminated.
Starting point is 00:39:04 Yeah, you're all out, but somebody lasted the longest. Michaela. Alright. But that's because she went last. That's a tie. She went second. I went second. It started with Cedric and she went second. But they only got...
Starting point is 00:39:20 All you gotta do to win this thing is come up with more of the movies until it's too late. It's late. I don't have to. I don't have to win. You're a goddamn cheater. Congratulations, Zoe. Is it Zoe? Woo!
Starting point is 00:39:34 You win the prize bag. Woo! Here we go. And do we have, we don't have shitheads on the back of any of these name tags. Mine does. Mine does. Zoe's does, but she doesn't... She got the prize bag, so she doesn't get to name a shithead.
Starting point is 00:39:51 Okay. Oh, it does. Okay. Awesome. So we just need Alexables to come up and... Wow, this thing is... I've never seen Darth Vader so covered in hair. There's all these crazy hairs all over him. Yeah, I didn't want to touch that.
Starting point is 00:40:05 Oh, this hair is kind of cool, because he could be like a magician and pretend he moved. Oh, no, it didn't work. Do you comb your hair with Darth Vader? That's so weird. He's an action figure slash comb. Where's Alexables?
Starting point is 00:40:17 What's the holdup? You had to walk this far? Just write somebody right there for me to call a shit. I can't read I don't know who it is though you see it though yeah yeah
Starting point is 00:40:33 okay really yeah just taking a weird turn alright I like this one thanks to all of my guests thanks for being here you guys
Starting point is 00:40:46 Michaela Watkins, Cedric Yarbrough and Oscar Nunez are all all involved in Benched so watch that on the USA Network and Matt tonight there you go so podcast listeners you missed it
Starting point is 00:41:02 check it out next week Tuesdays at 1030 you can go on the website So podcast listeners, you missed it. Check it out next week. Tuesdays at 10.30? You can go on the website. And the website? USA website, sure. Cool. Tonight's episode number two?
Starting point is 00:41:11 Number two. Awesome. You can watch both on the website, though. You made eight for the first season? Twelve. That's what I meant. Characters, welcome. I'm going to have something on Adult Swim just November 10th through 14th.
Starting point is 00:41:27 It's one of those infomercial parodies. Rich Fulcher and I did it. It's called In Search of Miracle Man. You'll probably forget what I just said, so go to mattbesser.com. But check it out. Or just turn on Nick at Night or whatever, Adult Swim, and just leave it. There you go. You'll come across it eventually.
Starting point is 00:41:46 And I don't have any more plugs, I don't think. DouglasMovies.com. We'll see you guys here next week. And as always, Sam Cohn is a shithead. Who is that? I don't know. That's what Iron Sam wanted to get out to the world. Are you Sam Cohn? I am.
Starting point is 00:42:03 Oh, you called yourself a shithead? Oh, it is a good soundbite to have for yourself, me calling you a shithead. There's hardly a higher honor. Cut to him in his office when his cell phone rings. Sam Cohn's a shithead. Sam Cohn's a shithead. And Gordon Jump is a shithead. Sam Cone's a shithead. And
Starting point is 00:42:25 Gordon Jump is a shithead. Who's that? You know, from WKRP in Cincinnati. And also, I believe was the guy that touched Gary Coleman inappropriately on different strokes. Oh, yeah. Oh, this guy over here. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:43 That was a different stroke. That's Gordon Jump, but I think rest in peace, right? Isn't he dead? I'm bringing this show tonight. No apologies to Put Your Hands Together, because this thing is coming in right on fucking time. I'm pretty proud of it.
Starting point is 00:43:05 And as always, anyone that works at SeaWorld is a shithead. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart
Starting point is 00:43:21 for you because Doug loves movies.

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