Doug Loves Movies - Matt Besser, Rob Huebel, and Moshe Kasher Guest
Episode Date: October 20, 2011Doug welcomes comedians Matt Besser, Rob Huebel, and Moshe Kasher.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-inf...o.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, skinny babies, sticky seeds with 50 azopop or kernels in his teeth.
There's still not one that he won't see, because Doug loves movies!
Hey everybody! My name is Doug and I love movies
This is Doug Loves Movies
Coming to you from the UCB Theater
Before Comedy Bang Bang
Formerly Comedy Death Ray
Formerly Not A Thing
It's Tuesday October 18th
2 Oceans 11
Where are my name tags at?
Do we have any name tags?
Jordan's back with a boxing glove. Did you win
last week? No, okay, good.
Alright, we don't have to get
into the whole story. I was just
double checking because it would be cheating.
Once you win the prize package, please don't
ever enter again. And also,
a couple empty seats over there.
That's unusual. I don't know what
that's about. My
popularity is waning.
It's like a. What is it?
It's a beautiful night outside.
It's not a bad night to stand in line.
I don't know what happened.
Jordan?
Not yet.
All right.
Jordan, did you hear about...
We just did a show in...
We were in Chicago,
and some guy had a baseball with blood all over it
that said, not Jordan.
And I'm here to tell you
he did not win anything.
So I was happy about that
because I don't care for people disparaging
Jordan in that way. There's Jennifer
with a Price is Right name tag.
Is that an actual one from the show or you
recreated it? It's actual?
Did you get called down?
You didn't win any of the showcases? Well, I'm
not interested in you.
Jane has a bag of chips.
That's pretty smart. A lot of my guests tonight like
chips. So they might
get picked because then they can snack on it.
Melissa has a big, long, crazy...
What kind of snake is that?
It's a sandworm
from Beetlejuice.
Of course.
That was my second favorite character after Alec Baldwin.
And then we got a Chuck back there.
No name tags over here.
It's kind of a mellow section over here.
Oh, you got one.
Keith, you taped your name to like a hat or a yarmulke?
It's a yarmulke.
Okay.
I don't get it, but...
God bless you.
Thanks to everyone who came to my shows
at the Funny Bone in Columbus, Ohio
last night.
Lisa Visa, that's what I call her
because that's what her name tag said,
lost against Dan Gabriel
in the category Columbus,
which was movies not that take place in Columbus,
but movies that have something to do with a bus.
And the answer was Sweet Hereafter.
If you haven't seen it, it's a rom-com
about a bunch of children who die in a bus accident.
It's from Canada.
And Abbeville Horror, a young lady named Abbe,
changed Amity to Abbe on the Amityville Horror poster.
And so she actually won.
She played the In Theaters Now category,
and the answer was Real Steel.
And Dan Gabriel didn't come up with that.
Formulaic was one of the clues,
so that could be almost anything that's in theaters now.
I'll be back in Ohio on November 3rd.
I'll be at Go Bananas in Cincinnati
where you can get a chance to play
Leonard Mullen game against young David Huntsberger.
Now it's time for Watch This, Not That.
Real Steel narrowly won the weekend box office crown,
and I'm still not sure why robots need to sit on a stool in between rounds.
Footloose.
Footloose was number two.
It's practically a shot-by-shot remake of the original not-that-great Footloose was number two. It's practically a shot-by-shot remake
of the original
not-that-great Footloose.
Didn't really care for the first Footloose,
so I was really hoping they'd take it
in a different direction.
So while I was watching it, I was thinking,
rather than seeing this, because it's so boring,
I'd rather fight a robot.
So watch Real Steel,
not Footloose. This has been Watch This, Not That.
Thank you very much.
Today's prize bag consists of a lot of fun things.
This is a fantastic prize bag.
As you guys know, I will be participating,
actually performing and recording an episode
of Douglas' movies on the Weezer Cruise in January.
So, get things going in the right way.
We got a Weezer t-shirt.
We also have a copy of Weezer's Hurley signed by every member of the band.
Nice.
And kind of dented because I guess somebody dropped it during the shipping.
And then we also have, what's the other Weezer thing? Oh, a Weezer
poster that's very cool and has lots of stuff like, has the word Pinkerton on it
in big letters. And you guys know that's my favorite Weezer album, so I'm pretty happy
about that. And our guest tonight contributed
to the prize package. Of course, I included my
CDs,
Potty Mouth and Professional Humoridian,
but also contributed into the bag.
This won't give away who it is,
but we have an Alf puppet.
Yeah, it's fucking Alf from Melmac, you guys.
And he's wearing a tank top,
which I don't remember Alf being really into tank tops, but he's
soup top. He's wearing a something top
that says Born to Rock on it.
So Alf is even
funny when just wearing a
half shirt. And then
we also have
and these are going to give away who the guests are
probably. We have a
CD, a couple of CDs that are called May I Help You Dumbass and Freak Dance.
And then we also have a copy of the Human Giant.
What's on this one?
It's like highlights from season one plus season two exclusives.
And this is, of course, after there was a third season
and then several years of no show at all.
So this is really a nice nostalgic thing to have.
And that means, doesn't totally mean,
you guys don't know exactly who my guests are,
but you're narrowing it down in your head,
so I might as well just tell you.
Please welcome Moshe Kasher, Matt Besser, and Rob Hubel.
Hi, everybody. I am the voice
of Alf.
That's why you contributed that prize?
Yeah. It was my prize.
That was Moshe brought that, and when I was grilling him
about why he had it, it was he purchased
it so that it would come in handy
in a comedy situation someday.
And look what happened.
Somebody's going to win it. They're so excited.
Rob brought, of course,
the human giant thing.
Because you're one third of that.
Well, I'm half of it, really.
Should I give this away?
Yeah, let's give it away too. You also brought a t-shirt
that says, what does it say on it? I was in Las Vegas. Have you ever been to Las Vegas?
Do you know where that is?
I don't want to name drop on you, but it's
fucking cool.
You know how there are guys that
hand out the little
flyers for strippers
and stuff?
Well, I was really drunk and this guy was wearing
this shirt. You killed him? I murdered
him. You took his shirt? I murdered
him. I was wondering why you were
standing up for this bit, but it's been worth it.
We did a shirt swap.
He got my shirt. I don't remember what
it had on it. Nothing this cool.
And then this one says
what it says. Las Vegas
strippers. You swapped sweaty shirts right
there on the strip. Yeah, but I've washed it. I've washed it. washed it don't worry i've washed it but i will say i've never worn it i
got this and i was so excited i thought i'm gonna wear it all the time it's hilarious
never worn it yeah because people stop you all the time and have to write the number down yeah
hey what's that number let's save it out just you know maybe i'll maybe they'll come back to me for
more advertising on the show it's 702-313-4393.
Strippers.
And if you call that number, a stripper will come by and watch Law & Order with you.
So come on over.
In your room.
Strippers.
Paint off your house.
Direct to your room.
Yeah, they'll come and do anything you want them to do.
You know, they're certainly stripping can't be the whole thing.
It's mostly Law & Order.
I think it is the whole thing with strippers. It is? Yeah, that's sort certainly stripping can't be the whole thing. It's mostly law and order. I think it is
the whole thing
with strippers.
It is?
Yeah,
that's sort of
the alpha and omega
of their whole personality
is that they take
their clothes off.
I'm pretty sure.
Did you guys see
that movie somewhere
where Brad Dorff's
character,
is that his name?
Steve Dorff.
Stephen Dorff.
Lieutenant Worf.
Dorff on golf?
Yeah,
Dorff on golf
would have these
girls come over
to his room
and they would just do these weird dances
with a pole and stuff that were kind of sexy
but I just don't...
It was the only part of that movie I could watch.
Yeah, it was more exciting than the rest of it.
Was his daughter in the room
when the strippers were there?
No, but there's strippers for a few minutes
and then the next scene you're watching a 10-year-old ice skate
so it's a really conflicting boner situation.
Not for me at all.
You may have just coined the term conflicting boner situation.
It's about time that somebody came up with a total CBS.
You should pitch that to the network.
You should go to CBS.
From now on, I'm just going to be like,
oh my God, CBS stands for
conflicting boner situation.
I'm watching NCIS. I'm perfectly hard.
And then
what appears on my TV?
I'm a bigger fan of no boner conundrum.
That's a good network, too.
That's the Robert Ludlum novel, isn't it?
The Boner Conundrum.
So, Moshe,
this is your first time on Douglas Movies.
Killing it so far.
You're doing great.
I was too lazy to IMDb you
this afternoon. Of course, I
IMDb. Did you...
Are you in any movies?
What kind of question is that?
Motion pictures?
Yeah.
I'm going to ask you in a second.
I know the answer is yes.
What?
I've been in a movie.
Yeah?
What was it?
It's called Sorry, Thanks.
All right.
Sounds like a confusing title.
It's a conflicting boner situation,
if that's what you mean.
It's a mumblecore film.
Oh, those are the best.
Well...
I meant worst.
I mean, I don't know.
Each mumblecore film should be judged individually.
But as soon as you're saying your movie's about
mumbling
and core,
you've probably lost
anyone that just wants to have a good time
at the cinema.
Yeah, it's a slow and...
What did he say intensely?
Because that's what it seems like they're saying
is it's intense but also
mumbled. It's a fine
film made by a good friend.
Dia Sokol was the director.
He's not going to hear this. You don't have to sugarcoat it.
You can say it's a pile of shit if you want.
These things have a way of getting around.
No, they don't.
Is the movie
available on DVD?
It is, yeah. And on Netflix.
You can watch me mumble in a really hardcore way.
Are there
any other names you could drop in the cast?
Wiley Wiggins?? Wiley Wiggins.
The Wiley Wiggins from Days of Confused.
That's it.
Oh, really?
Yeah, yeah.
That's the concept.
Snappy Sullivan.
Ichabod Crane.
Mike Mumbler.
Jesse Kor.
There's a lot of different people.
I like Wiley Wiggins.
I'm in.
You and Wiley Wiggins is all I needed. You, I was on the fence. You throw in Wiley Wiggins I'm in You and Wiley Wiggins Is all I needed
You I was on the fence
You throw in Wiley Wiggins
Throw in Jason
Fucking
The whole concept of Mumblecore
Is that there's no stars
It's just like super
It's like
Wiley Wiggins is a star
Don't even try
Don't pretend otherwise
It's like basically
Watching five of your friends
Do exactly what they would do
If they weren't in a movie
That sounds awful Well Depends on what you're into your friends do exactly what they would do if they weren't in a movie?
That sounds awful.
Depends on what you're into.
Rob Hubel.
My friends kill cats.
That's what the movie's about. Find cats and kill them.
They mumble while they do it?
You go, meow.
Yeah, kitty kitty. And they mumble while they do it? You go, Meow. Yeah, kitty, kitty.
I want murder, bro.
What have you got in the can, Rob?
I read something somewhere.
Movies?
Maybe the trades.
You got some feature film.
Well, I shot this thing a long time ago.
It's going to be good.
The Descendants comes out next month.
You're in The Descendants?
Yeah.
With Clooney in Hawaii?
Me and my best friend, George Clooney.
Did you fly to Hawaii to be in it?
Yeah, I was there for three weeks.
It was great.
Nice.
Yeah, it was like the best job I ever had.
I'll never have that again.
Wait a second.
Don't you think there's a chance for a Descendants 2?
No spoilers.
Descendants 2 Electric Boogaloo?
Whatever.
Whatever you want to call it.
Search for Clooney's Gold. I don't care. It was for really fun i felt really guilty because i only worked like four days but i was so you were there
for three weeks that's amazing week off when i didn't do anything and i go i went to them and
i was like i'll go back to la and they were like no just stay at the hotel and chill i was like
all right stay on the island get a dui Have you learned nothing from the lost cast members? I got 14 DUIs.
Nice.
You showed them.
Yeah.
I fucked up that whole statement.
You showed Mr. Echo what's what when it comes to DUIs.
Did he get a DUI?
Yeah, he got one.
And Watros got one.
Yeah.
Is his real name Mr. Echo?
Rodriguez got one.
I can't pronounce his real name.
No, his name is the dude from Oz. His real name is Oba Mamba Wamba Mamba Jamba.
Yeah, he's got a hard name to pronounce.
Mamba Jamba Wamba?
Anyone who's not him.
The African guy's name was Mamba Jamba Wamba?
That feels racist.
I get knocked down and I get up again.
Oh, it was Chamba Wamba.
I get drunk and I drive again.
And I get a DUI.
But I'm Mr. Echo. Fuck it. I'll have a Hawaiian drink and I drive again. And I get a DUI. But I'm Mr. Echo.
Fuck it.
I'll have a Hawaiian drink and a Hawaiian drink
and a Hawaiian drink and a Hawaiian drink.
Wasn't Mr. Echo the only guy
not to come back in the final episode?
I think so.
I think he was mad.
We got everyone's tie up in their story,
but Mr. Echo.
Well, they couldn't get him.
Yeah, he'd moved on to,
he was getting drunk in another country.
So, Descendants.
That's awesome that you're in that.
Yeah.
I'm very, very, very happy for you.
Yeah, my best friend is George Clooney.
Great buzz.
He's saying that.
The movie's got great buzz.
He's my best friend.
He's a great guy.
I love him.
Tell us some...
Some pranks on set?
All right, so we used some pranks.
We played a lot of pranks on each other on set.
One day I woke up
and my dick was tied
into a knot
and I was like
who did this
and George Clooney
was like
I did it
I'm your best friend
George Clooney
so you know
but once your dick
was tied in a knot
did you put it
in someone's mouth
to see if they
could untie it
was the girl from Twin Peaks there?
Matt Besser's here, everybody.
Hi, everybody.
First guest to get applause when I mention his name,
so that's totally unfair.
That guy can't applaud.
He has on a boxing glove.
No, he's an intimidating guy in the front row
with a boxing glove.
Well, you know, it's up to you whether or not
you're going to pick Jordan to play for in the
Leonard Mullen game, but he will punch you
softly if you don't pick him.
Softly? You know,
softer than a fist, right? He's got a
bust.
Punching you softly
Punching me softly
with his
Punching me softly
And they get up
again.
Right afterwards Freak Dance is a movie
That you are involved with
What's this thing in the prize pack?
What is the Freak Dance CD?
That's from when we did the stage show
We recorded all the songs
But since then we've filmed it into a movie
And fully developed all the songs.
So that's not actually what's in the movie.
It's like a work in progress that we're giving away from the past.
Yes.
It's like this is what Doc Brown would give you if he got in the DeLorean.
Great analogy.
Thank you very much.
Now I understand it.
I just brought it up so I could do my impression of him.
Do it.
Doc Brown was a big UCB guy.
It's pretty good.
It's a pretty solid impression.
So spot on.
Jigga wads!
Which is what everyone should say.
When a black person says something inappropriate.
Jigga wad!
Mr. Echo, you got a DUI.
Jigga what?
Show hasn't been racist in weeks,
so I can afford one.
So you...
But now Freak Dance is a major motion picture.
Major.
93 minutes long.
It's going to be the Austin Film Festival
this weekend. I think this
plops on Friday, right? So it's night
at the Austin Film Festival on Sunday.
And it's a
parody of all dance movies.
It's also musical.
And it's a comedy. It's all those things.
Did you see the movie Step Up 3D?
I did. It's awesome.
Pretty ridiculous.
The most ridiculous part of that movie is this guy lives in Did you see the movie Step Up 3D? I did. It's awesome, isn't it? It's pretty ridiculous. Yeah, it's awesome.
The most ridiculous part of that movie is this guy lives in Manhattan, and he parks his car in an alley behind where he lives.
Oh, yeah.
That happens.
When I saw that, I was like, I don't believe this.
There are no alleys in New York.
You couldn't suspend disbelief from that.
You can't park in the alleys?
You're not supposed to.
Matt, I love this theater that you started here. Oh. You know, I've been doing the show here for that. You can't park in the alleys? You're not supposed to. Matt, I love this theater that you started here. I've been doing the show
here for years.
I know
there was other people in your group, but I don't
think they really did as much as you did.
The one thing I just
want to implore you is to, when you
have a giant clock to let everybody know
what time it is during the show,
is there someone you can talk
to to make sure that it's not five minutes
fast? Oh, is it?
Or, yeah, it's about four
minutes fast right now.
You can pick someone and fire them tonight,
Doug. Anybody I want, I can
fire them. It'd be fun. It'd be like a reality show.
And that intern, what will happen to them?
They'll continue to not earn money.
No, everybody here is super nice,
but it's been cracking me up for weeks
that there's a clock to keep things on time.
Well, Dr. Brown should come back
and tell us the real...
Five minutes!
What?
Have you guys been to the cinema lately yourselves
to see motion pictures?
I just saw the movie Moneyball.
Good.
Listen to that reaction.
Did you hear that?
That means no one else saw it.
I don't know.
No one saw it?
They don't like to weigh in until they know what you think of it.
No, that's not what it was.
No one saw it.
You saw it?
This guy saw it.
Okay.
Yeah.
Well, someone told me, someone goes, go see it, because I'm not really a baseball fan, but someone goes, go see it because i'm not really a baseball
fan but someone goes go see it it's not even about baseball it's totally about it's only about
baseball that's like when we're talking about backstage that's like when somebody goes book
of mormon it's not like it's not like a typical musical it's a fucking musical but that being said
isn't it a fascinating movie yeah i thought it was really great yeah it's really good it's a fucking musical but that being said isn't it a fascinating movie about baseball yeah I thought it was really great
yeah it's really good
it's interesting
it's about my hometown
oh you're from baseball
I am
I'm from Moneyball
it's very close
it's a Jewish suburb
of baseball
Moneyball Arizona
that was really good right
I thought that was really good
it was
I thought that was good
that was
you just got on base
and I would put you on my team.
That's how it works at Moneyball.
You get the players to get on base.
You don't care about that they smoke weed on occasion.
Other things.
I think it's a really good movie.
Possibly my number one of the year.
No way.
Of mainstream movies.
What's better?
The best movie of the year is Attack the Block.
Oh yeah, I love that movie.
If you haven't seen that, then you should either kill yourself or see Moneyball.
See it?
Put my tied up dick in your mouth.
What about the Footloose remake?
Did you diss that at the top of the show?
I think I might have, yes.
Only in comparison to, I'd say if you have to choose between Real Steel and Footloose, first of all, again, knotted up dick in your mouth is a better preference to either of
them.
But if you have to see one of them, I'd go Real Steel.
Real Steel's good?
No.
I'm just saying.
I just want to see how they rationalize a city that bans dancing.
They couldn't do it in the first movie. The first movie, when I was a kid, I was like, this is bullshit. There's no city. bans dancing. They couldn't do it in the first movie.
The first movie, when I was a kid,
I was like, this is bullshit.
This is bullshit.
This is total bullshit.
One day I'll get really high all the time.
This is bullshit.
Your movie was just on TV.
I was just watching your movie.
Super Ivy is just on TV.
Right now it was just on.
It'll be just on again tomorrow.
Yeah, G4 bought the rights to it and they just
fucking practically show it on a loop.
It's Super High Me, Attack of the Show,
Cops, Repeat.
What's wrong with that? It's the whole fucking network.
Every once in a while they throw in cheaters.
You don't enjoy it.
Because there's not enough stabbing in those other three.
What are you going to do With all that sweet
Sweet G4 money
There's no
And no money comes in from it
I know
I mean I think it's supposed
To come in from it
I think I'm supposed
To get something
But I don't see
I don't see anything
That sweet dirt bike money
And I
Not to take this away
From movies
But also the pilot
That I made for them, The High
Road, they show that over and over again, but they don't want to make a series because
they don't want to commit to a pot-themed TV show.
But they'll show one episode of it.
They show High Road and Super Hypey over and over again.
They're just dating your show right now.
I don't know what that means, but...
They don't want to marry it.
Yeah. They super do not want to marry it. Yeah.
They super do not want to marry it.
Wow.
Wait, what other movies are at 50-50?
I didn't see that.
Did anybody see that?
Is that good?
Really?
It seems like it would be a bummer.
Is it not a bummer?
It's 50-50, really.
It's a little bit of a bummer.
But just to break it down, though,
when Moneyball gets nominated for Best Picture
and Attack of the Block does not,
because that's how they roll, then Moneyball's nominated for Best Picture and Attack of the Block does not, because that's how they roll,
then Moneyball's the best movie.
What was the movie with Christopher Plummer
and Luke Skywalker guy?
Beginning. I heard you love that.
That movie was awesome.
I think that movie should win an award.
How many knotted up dicks out of four do you give?
Hold on, listen to this.
You know the guy
that directed Moneyball?
This guy, Bennett Miller.
Yeah, Bennett Miller.
He directed me in a commercial that played in New York before movie theaters for years and years.
It was this thing I did called Inconsiderate Cell Phone Man.
Yeah, I loved you in that.
It was the dumbest thing ever.
That was directed by Bennett Miller.
Bennett Miller directed that.
Two-time Academy Award nominee, I'm guessing. This is before
he did. I know. So he did that and then he was
like, Hubel's awesome.
I'm going to take this fucking heat and go direct
Academy Award winning movies.
I inspired him.
But if he could
do it all over again, Philip Seymour Hoffman would be
the inconsiderate cell phone guy.
Damn it. Because he loves that guy and works with him
in every movie he's
made.
It was weird in
Moneyball.
Did anyone else think
it was weird that
Philip Seymour Hoffman
is kind of underplayed,
underused?
Was that a favor you
think just because
they were buddies
from Capote?
No, I think he's
great in it and I
also think that there's
a point in the movie
not to give away too
much where it sort of
becomes not his story.
His character sort of
capitulates to what's
going on.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. And the real life real life guy is pissed yeah the real life guy is like first of
all i'm not that fat and it's like well well if you put that first of all if that's your biggest
complaint then you don't understand how motion pictures work because they are not going to cast
the guy looks exactly like you the kid yeah but usually it's better looking better looking yeah
that's right that's true it is usually better why are they going the other way with me if you ask me well the guy that was representing uh jonah hill probably
had a beef with that also but he's he's being quiet about it because he's because he's because
he lost so much weight he knows numbers because jonah hill maybe they worked out together yeah
maybe he and the guy he was playing got together and worked out.
Let's trim down together, and then neither one of us will be embarrassed.
And I won't have to complain if you're skinny, Jonah.
I saw Cars 2.
I should say I did not see Cars 2 on the plane coming home today from Columbus.
I didn't watch a goddamn minute of it.
Because Cars is my least favorite Pixar movie of ever.
And so that's the one I least wanted to see a sequel to.
So I'm boycotting it on planes.
So what did you do instead?
It came on the plane and did you stand up and go,
9-11!
Yeah, I was like, if this isn't going to entertain me,
I'm going to start something up that's going to get
everybody, everyone's going to, memorable
flight is what I go for every
time I'm on the plane. I think Rose Byrne was on
the plane. She's cute.
Okay, so one guy goes, yeah!
I was supposed to go see Paranormal Activity 3
tonight at 10, but I don't
think I'm going to make it because I want this show to
go two more hours.
Is that movie supposed to be good good the second one was a stinker though right
but this i didn't like i didn't like either of them either one of them they're just like
the whole point of the movie is just creating really long form tension like it goes for a
long time before something scary happens so then when it finally does you completely jump out of
your skin it It frightened me.
Really?
I was genuinely scared watching that film.
I get suckered in because...
I get bored.
I don't think ghosts don't scare me.
Man, you're an idiot.
Ghosts are real.
Ghosts are real and they're going to murder you for saying that.
I get suckered into that movie franchise because the trailer is so ingenious where they just
show the green screen of the audience, the night vision, you know,
POV of the audience, and it's just people
going like, oh god!
I actually know
who edited that and they
used a two girls, one cup audience.
So they fucking
conned everybody.
It shouldn't do that.
If the movie was 82 minutes of like, oh god!
Then I would be so into it.
But since that happens
once or twice
during 82 minutes,
and I'm stressing 82 minutes,
because they do not
have a fucking story to tell.
It's just a long camera
that's mounted
in a corner of an apartment
or a house
watching shit for a long time
until finally something happens.
I gotta say,
because there's a quote
in the trailer from a critic
that said,
the last 15 minutes of
this movie will mess you up for life.
Really? I want
that. I want to be
fucking think. Sounds like it should be a
short film. I want to be messed up
for life and have people go, what happened?
Why is he on a stretcher
eating his own feces?
Whatever happened to Rob Hubel?
Remember that movie from 30 years ago?
Paranormal Activity 3?
It messed him up for life.
He was a great actor, great performer.
He was really just a great guy, actually.
And then Paranormal Activity 3.
It's weird that his best friend George Clooney
never came to visit him.
And untie his dick.
We really think that would have cured him.
I'm sorry.
I want to go back.
Yeah, let's go back.
How do you try
something and not
that is an inch long?
I don't get that.
It's pranks, man.
Bros play pranks
on each other.
I guess Clooney
can do pull-off anything.
Pranks.
Pranks, man.
It's bro pranks.
Shall we play a game?
Yeah
What?
Called the Leonard Maltin game
Take out your name tags
There's Jordan's boxing glove
And uh
I mean
Yeah
Jordan boxing glove
Jordan baseball is not here
He's uh
Pulled himself out of the running
Go ahead guys Go pick one you want to play for.
Just go take it from them.
Jane has potato chips if you're hungry.
Murphy has a frisbee.
Oh!
Moshe went right for the
snake from Beetlejuice.
Don't show everybody what's written on the back and don't say it out loud.
It's the sandworm.
That's a shithead from Doom.
It also kind of looks like it's from Yellow Submarine.
Oh, you went for the boxing glove.
Matt Besser picked Jordan with the boxing glove.
I got this one.
It says Tony's Kindle.
It's a $5,000 Kindle.
You should just go.
You should just leave.
You should just run out with it.
He has a lot of erotica on here. You should just go. You should just leave. You should just run out with it.
He has a lot of erotica on here.
You have very long beards.
All right, so Rob's playing for Tony and his Kindle.
Matt's playing for Jordan and the boxing glove.
And Moshe's playing for Melissa. Sweet Melissa.
Alright, chill out Melissa.
Melissa and her snake
from Beetlejuice.
We'll start here with Rob
and move our way down
to Matt and then Moshe.
Alright Tony,
I hope you like
being a champion.
I hope you like taking other people's faces
and rubbing it in shit.
I don't know why any of those things would happen
as a result of this game,
but let's play it because I can't wait to see that.
So do we not get to eat those potato chips?
Yeah, we'll still take Jane's potato chips.
I can't believe Jane is sitting there
with a giant bag of potato chips.
You should try to return those to the store.
I'm sorry.
I bought these potato chips and someone's name was on the side.
My name is June.
I'm sorry.
I bought the wrong potato chips.
My name is June.
You know me from Lost, right?
Okay, here we go.
Wasn't her name June in Lost?
Not her name.
Not June's name. Oh, color bear?
Jin.
You're thinking the guy Jin.
Oh, he was Jin and she was...
Sun.
Oh, okay.
And you're racist.
You put them together.
No, Jin plus Sun equals Jun.
Dig a what?
All right, you get to pick a category, Rob Hubel.
Yep.
Would you like submitted by at girls man?
Girls man?
That's movies with either girls or man in the title.
Submitted by at king of pancakes.
I had no time to verify that.
I just assume he is.
We don't know whether he's actually the king of pancakes I had no time to verify that I just assume he is we don't know whether he's actually the king of pancakes twitter has not verified him so I'm suspect he might just be the prince of
pancakes but he suggested a category that I will go back I'll go back to that well many times it's
a great idea his category was today office today, but in the past.
What was number one 10 years ago to this very day?
What's today's date?
Today.
Why are you trying to stop me?
Why are you coming at me with a gotcha question?
Today is 10-18.
18th. Yeah. So that would be 10 18 10 18 movies today is 10 18 11 so the movie would
be the number one movie on 10 18 right after one right after September yeah that wasn't a popular box office. I think that was a la Walkbar, the film.
And then third category, submitted by at deadbeat265.
Dead Beats, I'm sorry.
Too Soon.
That's movies where...
Also a la Walkbar.
That's movies where a lead actor in the film
was dead before it came out.
Oh, man, that's a good one.
Yeah, Too Soon.
Which one do you want?
Girls' Man, number one in 2001,
or Too Soon?
I think I want Too Soon.
All right.
This is too soon.
Yeah, what is it?
One person clap.
Don't clap.
You know, it's fine to clap autistically.
I always say that.
I think people just clap whenever you want.
It doesn't matter.
Don't worry about them.
Clap whenever you want. That doesn't matter. Don't worry about them. Clap whenever you want.
That was a serial killer clap.
Yeah, too soon.
You just pulled your visor down
as if that makes you look less like a serial killer.
I'm a secret golfer.
I'm not a serial killer. I'm a secret golfer. I'm not a serial killer.
Look at this visor.
I'm your secret
golfer. Golfer
for money.
Alright, here we go. Three stars from
Leonard Maltin for this movie where somebody died.
Wait, can this be throughout all
of time? This is gonna be
really hard. Well, motion pictures have only been for the last...
Some of these are paleozoic.
No hieroglyphics.
I'm about to tell you the year.
You get ahead of yourself.
You're so excitable.
I know.
I just want Tony to win.
He needs a bigger Kindle.
The year is 1994.
Three stars from Leonard.
I might go higher. It's a good
movie. But Leonard
calls this movie dark
and he also says that
it has
a great
production design.
Yeah.
And it was followed by a sequel,
a TV movie,
and a TV series.
Oh, fuck yeah.
Yeah.
And he lists nine names.
How many names do you think you can get it in, Rob?
There was a sequel,
a TV series,
and a TV movie?
Yeah.
Well, I have to think of this in terms of my own life.
In 1994, I was in Atlanta, and I got...
You know the other contestants will be able to hear all this.
You're not in a soundproof booth.
What was I doing when Rob was being implanted?
I can name it in five names.
All right.
Strong opening bid.
We go to Matt Besser.
He's making a lot of faces.
Can I ask a question?
Yeah.
Does this mean the lead guy died or just a guy?
Like a guy, like a gaffer.
Could be anybody.
Could be anybody.
Fuck.
Yeah.
In the film.
Yeah, they have to be in the film.
It has to be some guy.
They have to be in the film and then died before it came out. So I don't know how many times. Fuck. In the film. Yeah, they have to be in the film and then
died before it came out.
So I don't know how many times
we as a public would know about someone
with a small role having that happen.
Tony, how big
do they make these Kindles?
They make them as big as flat screens?
Okay, so my turn.
Yeah, you either say name it or go lower.
I can name it or go lower I can name it
In lower names?
Zero
Negative?
That means I have to name someone
Do I have to name the lead?
Yeah
Okay I can do negative one
Okay
Hold on I can too
Rob what you can do does not matter at this point.
Okay.
It's between Moshe and Matt.
Okay.
And you get to say either name it...
Oh, name that movie.
...or go more negative.
Yeah, no.
So, you're saying name it?
Name it.
I hope he doesn't know what he's talking about.
So, what's the movie and what's the one name?
The Crow.
And what's the one name?
Is it Brandon Lee?
Yes.
Damn it!
Damn it! Damn it!
Nicely done.
I'm so sorry, Tony.
I'm so sorry.
Tony, I'm so sorry.
And if you go on to win today, Matt Besser,
since you did that, you also have to win today,
and then you will be an alternate
in the next tournament of championships.
That's the only movie.
Everyone in the room got that.
Because when you talk about people that died before the movie came out,
everyone goes, oh, look, the crow.
I didn't used to say that, asshole.
Who would ever think it might be The Dark Knight or Network or...
Because it was one of the famous movies where somebody died.
But it was 94.
Well, once we nail it down, that's part of it.
You figured it out.
Good for you.
Bid smarter next time.
Now I gotta put on my lip balm.
Because negative one
was the right answer
because nobody else
would have known.
How does your dumb bidding
become my problem?
That's what I want to know.
Well, I thought we were
gonna be nice and like
fuck around for a little bit.
And then it was like
go for the throat.
I didn't really think
that was the answer.
I got a guy who has a tiny little Kindle here, man,
who needs a bigger Kindle.
I got a guy who has to fight with one boxing glove.
Rob, how does it feel to have Matt rub your face in shit?
I don't like it.
I don't like it at all.
All right, so Matt got the point.
And Rob, you get to start us off again.
All right.
But this time we're going to go to Moshe's second to change it up.
Rob's on his feet.
He has to stand up to...
Oh, he's back down.
I high-fived somebody in the audience.
Oh, okay.
Sometimes I do that.
Why does a loser deserve a high-five?
That is the highest member of the audience by far.
The highest, right?
He's not a loser.
He's a random audience member.
High five, people.
I said, you're the loser.
He said, why does the...
At Captain...
I defended you.
I thought he was calling you a loser.
At Captain Rip I defended you. I thought he was calling you a loser. At Captain Rip Murdoch
suggested a category called Yes, Ma'am.
And that's the films of Sam the Ma'am Levine.
Or horror movies,
because you know, of course, what month it is.
I don't have to say that it's Cocktober to make my point.
And the third category
is called
Edgar Hasn't Seen It.
And that's movies
that have not been seen
by film director
Edgar Wright.
He sent me a list.
He sent me a list.
How would anyone know?
He blogged a list.
How do you know
it was actually him
that sent it to you?
Because I would have
gotten a text saying,
someone hacked my blog.
That's a terrible British accent.
Someone hacked my blog.
Attack the blog.
It's going to be my next feature.
Best picture.
It takes place in a corridor.
I would like to do,
I can't do the Sam Levine one
because I don't know the movies that he's been in
and I don't think I would get them.
Okay.
What was the other one?
I love the way you talk us through everything.
Yeah.
The other ones were Edgar Hasn't Seen It.
I don't trust that one.
Or horror films.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Horror?
Those are like scary films.
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Not horror films.
Yeah, let's do that.
Horror movies.
All right.
Yeah, it's not Pretty Woman.
It's a scary movie.
Scarier.
Scream.
Oh, is it Scream?
I win.
Damn it.
Damn it.
Simon says Scream.
Does he get a point?
Yeah, this is easier than I thought.
I can't believe you just got a point.
So let's go to the next round.
Rob would be so angry
if that's how he got a point.
Scream is a series of four films.
Sure. Does Moisture get another point? All right. Scream is a series of four films. Sure, Paul.
Does Moishe get another point?
Is it Scream 1, 2, 3, or 4?
You can't guess more than one movie.
That's where it's going to get tricky.
But that is one of the clues.
This is one of the Scream films.
Jesus.
It's still going to be a competition, you guys.
Even though I fucked it up.
Are you really going to stick with this?
You can just pick another horror movie.
Leonard says about this movie that it's one of the Scream films.
There's nothing...
Leonard says it's Scream 3.
No?
He also says, Leonard says, move on to another category.
No?
Leonard says it was better than the last three movies.
I'm serious.
He also said about it.
Leonard says, I didn't know it was possible for Doug to smoke too much weed at a show.
Believe me, no one ever makes a mistake when they're not high.
And also, it's my game, and we're playing this,
and the clue is it's one of the Scream movies.
The game still works.
Watch.
Watch.
Someone's going to win the point,
and two other people are going to not win the point.
And we're also going to get it done quickly
because now we're running out of time.
He says about this movie,
besides the fact that it's a Scream movie,
that it's only the climactic showdown that disappoints.
I can name it.
Hang on, I gotta tell you how many names.
You always want to do the next thing before it's time to do it.
Why am I being reprimanded?
I'm being reprimanded.
I need a high five.
There are. Don't high five that loser. Don't high five.
Don't high five that loser.
That was Scream right there. High fiving a loser is bad luck in this game.
There are
18 names.
How many names can you get in Rob Hubel?
Smarty Pants.
It's one of the Scream movies.
Name it in negative one.
Good, strong opening of it.
Now we go to Moshe.
I mean, yeah, see how this works?
All right.
Yeah, all right, name that movie then.
All right, yeah, dog, yeah.
Nicely done.
I think you're going to get a point.
Don't encourage him.
How dare you, sir?
That's Melissa's boyfriend.
Her other boyfriend besides me.
And if he's wrong, do I get a chance?
No, no.
Most is going to get the point if he's wrong.
Which one is it?
Wait, now I have to think about those assholes in that movie.
In that movie?
You think you know exactly which one it was?
Wait, what did you just say?
I said,
my name is Doug
and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies.
How far back
do you want me to go?
I said negative one,
so I just have to name
one of the...
You have to name
what movie it is.
The lead actor.
Which Scream movie.
Okay.
And who the lead performer...
Oh, man.
Yeah, you didn't trick me
into saying it was a dude.
Tony,
do they make these smaller?
Do they make a smaller one?
Which one is it, first of all?
Well, it's obviously Scream 3.
We all know that.
Incorrect.
It's Scream 2.
David Arquette.
Motion gets a point.
He's on his feet, and he's high-fiving a loser.
How many times do we have to tell you?
That's bad luck?
All right, we start with Matt Besser.
Damn it.
Sorry, Tony.
The category is movies called Gone with the Wind.
Scream 2.
Which category would you like, Matt?
Would you like...
I was going to introduce a new category tonight
that's very exciting, but...
It's too confusing.
It's too confusing.
Can we do the scream one again?
Let's do it again. I'll pick a different one.
Would you like...
I think I have to repeat it. Oh, No She Didn't.
That's... Oh, this is
Matt starting us off. No She Didn't is movies
where there's a contraction in the title.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
And then we've also got
two of the other categories I've already
mentioned. Either... Let's go with either
Girls, Man.
Either Girls or Man is in the title.
I like Contraction. I like that. Can I just go with it?
I like the appetizer.
I like your time-saving attitude.
This is from 1980.
Oh, I lived in Atlanta then.
Leonard
Leonard Walton gives it a super generous two stars.
Probably the most generous star rating he's ever given,
considering what movie this is.
Very generous two stars.
He says about it that, he says that gay subtext abounds.
Like it?
Yeah.
Except, despite,
I should say, eye-boggling
profile shots of
an actress who has
he didn't say it this way, I'm saying it this way,
big tits.
Leonard is
referencing a big-titted actress,
but also saying that
gay subtext abounds.
And it's from 1980. It has a contraction
in the title. Two stars.
How many people here were born before 1980?
Yeah, there's some.
Good time waster.
Rob was in Atlanta
in 1980.
Ten names. How many names do you think you can get in, Matt?
And then we're going to go to Rob next after you.
Okay.
Were we told what kind of movie it was
Or did we not get that
There's a contraction
In the title
That's all
That's the kind of movie it is
Those are my favorite
Okay
Out of 10 names
I can get it in
Fuck
He didn't like it Saying two stars is bad Huh I can get it in... Fuck.
He didn't like it.
He's saying two stars is bad, huh?
I'm saying two stars is...
He's very nice to it.
Oh, boy.
I can get it in four names.
Strong opening bid.
We go to Rob Hewell.
Name that movie.
All right.
So this is for the win, Rob.
Do I have time for this?
And a...
movie. All right. So this is for the win. Do I have time for this? I think we're going to have a three-way tie and we're going to go into not overtime, but the show's going to go long. So we have to play another round. Your four names are Lee Taylor. Do you know this Jordan? Don't tell me, but do you know it? Yeah, Jordan also has not heard the names yet.
So he's anxious as everyone is to find out what those might be.
Because it might help you.
Probably not.
Are you going to be serving dinner here?
No.
No, you're on your own for dinner after the show.
You get a stipend.
Okay.
And then you go spend it however you want.
Lee Taylor Young,
Jack Weston, Barbara Rush,
and June Havoc are your four
people that would be in a movie
back in 1980. June Havoc.
That's Contraction. Great.
Huge tip. That's one movie.
So I'd say just guess anything
that you think might be a Contraction title. Tony, how big they I'd say just guess anything that you think, a contraction title or...
Tony, how big they make this place?
She's got to have it.
That's a fantastic guess, because it did have the contraction in the title.
I'll read the rest of the names.
You guys yell it out as soon as you know it.
This will take four years.
Tammy Grimes, Paul Sands, Steve Guttenberg, Bruce Jenner, Valerie Perrine
and her big boobs.
Can't Stop the Music is correct, audience member.
The last name listed,
really sad that it says
The Village People.
They don't even get individual
billing. They just get listed as
The Village People are the stars
of Can't Stop the Music.
All right.
We have a three-way tie.
We have a three-way tie.
What happens?
Nicely done.
Who made who say guess it?
I did.
You made who?
I made Besser guess it.
You made Matt guess it.
So we start with Moshe, and then it goes to Matt.
Oh, no, wait.
It goes to Rob.
You're right.
Thank you. It always goes to the last challenger., no, wait. It goes to Rob. You're right. Thank you.
Always goes to the last challenger.
All right, here you go.
Most of you get to pick a category.
Would you like Edgar Hasn't Seen It,
Girls, Man,
that's Girls or Man is in the title,
and number one movie in the country today
10 years ago?
Number one movie in the country today
10 years ago.
All right.
Impressive.
2001. 2001ressive. 2001.
2001 is the year.
On October 18, 2001, this was the number one movie.
I was in the World Trade Center.
No, no, the one in Atlanta, a different one.
Two stars from Leonard Maltin.
Also probably generous.
He calls this movie a big, long tease of a movie.
And he also says that it was followed by a prequel.
And there are...
How many names?
Damn it.
Suddenly went to my Netflix account.
What's that about?
What's in your queue?
Nine names.
There are nine names. The number one movie in America in August in October
you know it's on motion it's a bit first right you're talking it through like
it's your turn where did I live not what do you think how many eight names eight
he says then we go to Rob. Name that movie. Really?
Alright.
I'm not an idiot.
But I am? Is that what you're saying, sir?
You're not going to get this.
I feel like I am.
You're not going to get it as well.
No, actually you will get it.
So he's getting eight out of nine names.
That's your strategy.
I want you to give him all but one word in the title of the movie.
It's like you're trying to keep Matt out of the tournament championships.
No.
Oh, that's right.
What a bummer.
That would have been a big turnaround for me.
Here's your eight names.
Do you want the clues again?
No, go ahead.
Okay. Hazel Goodman. Jelko Iv clues again? No, go ahead. Okay.
Hazel Goodman.
Jelko Ivonek.
Francesca Neri.
Whore.
Frankie R. Faison. What?
Flaky? Gary Oldman.
Giancarlo Giannini.
Whore. Ray Liotta.
And Julianne Moore.
That's all but one person in the star of this movie
that was number one at the box office
ten years ago today, October
18th, 2001.
Two stars for Glenn.
I'd be so angry
at you if you don't look at this.
Do you know it?
What do you mean, do I know it?
Would you have guessed it, do you think?
With eight out of nine names,
I think I'd have a pretty good shot.
It's so easy.
Fuck you, man.
It's hard under these lights to think.
I'm pissing and I know it.
What is it?
Hannibal.
Okay, Hannibal?
That is really bad.
Poor play on that move.
I wouldn't have gotten it right.
No one in this thing is going to appreciate that.
But he admits he wouldn't have gotten it.
So Rob is our winner.
Hey guys, producer Matt here.
The number one movie on October 18th, 2001
was actually Training Day.
You're not supposed to yell shit out of that.
It's easy if you know the actors that were in that movie or about that movie.
That's the only way that's easy.
That's sociopathic behavior like Hannibal.
It's easy in the way that you find torturing small animals to be easy.
But for the rest of us, it's very difficult because of our compassion.
But what did you narrow
it down to in your head? Anything?
I narrowed it down to, I knew I was
going to be bad at this game.
It's October, so the hit
movies tend to be horror films.
And it was followed by a prequel.
I'm sorry I disappointed you.
There's only maybe ten movies in the
history of movies that were followed by a prequel. I'm sorry, Melissa. There's only maybe 10 movies in the history of movies that were followed by a prequel.
That's a good clue.
So that's a good clue.
I definitely did get it wrong.
I definitely didn't know.
I admit that.
I just represent the rub it in committee.
And since the show already went long, I figured I'd go even longer with that.
Who was it?
Who was you playing for?
Who gets this stuff?
Who's the kindler?
My man Tony.
Who had the kindler? Up to the top of the staircase.
The new kindler. It's just a bunch of one-liners about
how shitty everything is
in show business. There you go.
Congratulations. Rick, was that his name?
Tony.
Congratulations, Tony. It says Jules Verne on here.
I don't know what that's about.
I'm not into books.
Jordan, did you put a shithead on here?
No. So come up here and write down who your shithead is. you put a shithead on here no so come up
here and write down here shit it is there's a shit on the back of that
don't spoil it oh that one's been done before yeah I've got a pen do you guys
have anything you want to plug before we go real quick we'll start with Rob any
uh I want to plug my mentor over here this guy guy gives the best high fives.
That's all I want to plug.
Go to MattDanceMovie.com to find out about that
or MattBesser.com or
MattBesser. And if you're in Austin, go see it
tonight. Yeah.
I will be in Vancouver
at the Comedy Mix this weekend and also
on the 27th of October
I'll be at the Hollywood Theater in Portland, Oregon.
All right.
It's a weird place to have the Hollywood Theater.
He's also going to be at the Portland Theater in Burbank.
The next movie interruption is at CineFamily
on Monday, October 24th,
not the date that I said on the most recent episode.
I got it wrong. I'm not going to
repeat it again because that's just confusing
advertising. So October 24th
and all of my tour dates are at
douglosmovies.com
and I'm just going to say it before I
read them. These are my two least favorite
shitheads in the history of the show.
You guys might
love it. You might disagree with me
but check it out. I lived in Atlanta when these people were born.
As always,
this season of The Office
is a shithead.
Yeah, two assholes
agree with that.
I still think it's very funny.
And Nancy Grace is a shithead.
She's from Atlanta.