Doug Loves Movies - Matt Fernandez, Brian Simpson and Greg Wyshynski guest
Episode Date: December 31, 2021Doug welcomes Matt Fernandez, Brian Simpson and Greg Wyshynski to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go t...o stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming baby sticky seeds with 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth.
There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies!
Hey, hey, hey everybody! My name is Doug and I love movies. This isoug loves movies coming to you with another homes alone edition zoom zoom
it's thursday january 30th 2021 and my guests today are matt fernandez brian simpson and greg
wishinsky hello gentlemen let's meet everybody alphabetically and individually,
starting with returning champ from Orlando,
the Orlando show we did a few weeks ago.
He won it.
He's here, there, now.
It's Matt Fernandez.
Hello, Matt.
Hey, Doug.
How's it going?
It's going good.
Did I give you a nickname yet?
No, but I'm dying to get one. I didn't know that was on the table.
I'm thinking, how do you feel about Polar Bear?
Because I'm big and white. I get it. Yeah.
Yeah. We recently watched Roadhouse together and it has the classic closing line where the guy says a polar bear fell on me.
Yeah. That was a great time. I didn't even think of that either. Yeah.
We just watched roadhouse.
That's true. So that's so polar bears. Perfect for you.
And thanks for being here. You were going to, you know,
return to the Miami show, but we got, we got postponed in Miami.
That show is now going to happen in April and you know,
we'll discuss whether or not Matt can be there when the time comes.
Yeah. Who knows? You know, you might,
you might blow up Shoei between now and then and you know,
be on some sort of tour or something and not be able to drop everything and go
to Doral, Florida.
Also joining us also joining us today is a first-time guest,
a hilarious comedian.
The Stand-Ups is available now on Netflix, and he is one of them.
It's Brian Simpson. Hello, Brian.
Hey, what's happening?
Oh, you know, just making these podcasts from home still.
Are you over it i i you know i i like it i like not you know just being able to do this from home but like i think as a listening
experience it's less fun than the you know the shows we normally do with uh with an audience
because this show from the beginning has been a live audience podcast. So when they hear episodes without all the laughter and stuff,
it's you know, people, people are a little less into it,
but I appreciate the people still listen.
And I like that I can get guests together from wherever they happen to be.
Like it's easier for people to just jump on their device for an hour from,
from wherever they are. But your Netflix,
the standups is how many comics are in the, in the batch this time?
Six. It's always six.
Six. So it's six is the third season of it, I guess, in six comics.
And all they need to know is that
you're one of them so the all six are available now so all you got to do is just go find uh brian
simpson's uh what are they about an hour or half hour they're half hours yeah half hours that's
awesome man and uh i'm looking forward to seeing it and. And how has your life changed in the day that it's been out?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah, I'm trying to respond to everyone.
But, you know, it's kind of impossible.
Yeah.
No, you get a lot of feedback.
But I've responded to about a thousand people so far.
Oh, man.
Wow.
Bunch of nerds going, you're great, but that one premise, I feel like.
Oh, no, you know what?
No, no, no.
I don't reply to any negative people.
Like, you know, if you don't like my comedy, that's, you know, that's your prerogative.
But like, I'm not going to give you my energy.
Yeah.
No, you should be like an audience member at a show where the comedian doesn't really know your opinion.
They just, you know, they just heard everyone else laughing.
Yeah. You can laugh or not. That's that's the option.
But the people that take the time to say something positive, like message me, I try to message them back.
like message me i try to message them back the people who message people on about their displeasure in comedy are like people that like at the show they'd just be sitting there with their arms
crossed so you'd know they weren't into it but you also wouldn't have to talk to them about it
if you didn't want to oh yeah oh but but but don't get mistaken like every now and then i wake up
you know and i go you know what i got time today right yeah you think you want me to respond
to you but you really don't right yeah uh you woke up the sleeping giant yeah the trolls don't need
the giant uh to wake up and and stomp on them yeah because i'm petty i'm petty that way sometimes
oh yeah no it could get it could get pretty vicious.
I like these new messages that pop up on, like, the socials that say,
remember, there's a human being on the other end of this conversation.
Like, what?
Shut up.
They're not human beings most of the time.
Right, right.
Exactly.
It's like Instagram.
How do you know that?
Yeah. How do you know,? Yeah. How do you know Instagram?
How human they are.
They do know a lot, unfortunately.
Can you imagine somebody like running up in, in,
in Instagram's headquarters with weaponry, but they have,
they all have signs on their chest to go. Remember I'm a human being.
Yeah, exactly. Don't forget that.
I'm a person.
Keep that same energy Instagram.
And we have
another returning champ
on the show today. A lot of competition
for you today, Brian. It's
Greg Slapshot
Wyshynski.
Yay. You gave me
grief for the good people
at NPR morning edition,
not referring to me by my given Doug loves movies nickname when they had me on.
Why wouldn't they do that? It's it seems like it's it's ready to go.
Well, it's very stuffy. It's NPR. It's very stuffy.
You know, they don't have time for fun, fun ass nicknames like Slapshot.
Where does Slapshot come from? Well, I'm a hockey writer.
names like Slapshot. Where does Slapshot come from? Well, I'm a
hockey writer.
Yeah, I write hockey
for ESPN. I wrote
hockey for ESPN before we got all
the games and now I
write more of it because we have all
the games.
Yeah. So yeah.
So no, but it's an honor to be...
Can we do reverse alphabetical order
at some point? Just because I feel like I'm back in elementary school.
You do always get.
I mean, not only you in the W's, but the second letters of Y.
It sucks.
Yeah.
It is so deep.
I owed my sanity in elementary school to a girl named Holly Ziegler.
She was the only one keeping me from being dead ass last on all those.
Wow.
Shout out.
Shout out to the Z.
And then people always just end up calling you Ski
for short. No, they went
the other way. They went Wish, actually,
which is the other way you can go
with that. That's a cool nickname. I never have a cool
nickname.
No, man.
Wish is pretty not bad. I think the coolest
people don't have cool nicknames
because it's hard to put a label
on.
My name is... Some people will just go
B.
And then I have friends at some point, they started
calling me Simp without knowing that that was
like...
So all my friends in the military
call me big simp
even though they don't because they don't know what it meant
when they started saying it and then
they realized that I hated it so they just kept doing
it right that's the
trouble with some nicknames is that they
when they realize that it's
disliked by the person
they ramp it up
and it really sticks and even though
sorry i was gonna say my name was also unfortunately primed for like you know profane
variations like as a hot take us in sports yeah we should ski like the first time i heard that
was probably like third grade and then like you, I write something on the Internet and somebody on Twitter comes up with Wyshitzky.
I'm like, come on, let's be a little creative.
Yeah, man. And even though I moved a lot.
And so, you know, you have to reinvent yourself when you go to new cities.
But I refuse to cross the line and give myself a nickname.
You know, I have so, so, so much disdain for people that do that.
They're like, oh, yeah, everyone calls me Maverick.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah. It's a, it's tough for people to push their own, their own nickname.
And I've, I've never, never tried that myself.
I've been generally against nicknames, but I'm trying to,
trying to give people on the show nicknames just is a silly thing to do.
And seems like Slappy really likes it so far.
So far.
So far, Slappy.
You've met the players.
But before we begin the games, they each have to answer this one question.
We'll start again.
Sorry, Greg. Maybe
this time it's good. Let him go first.
No, I should definitely go last.
Okay, we're going alphabetical.
Could you please,
Matt Fernandez, could you please recommend
one movie?
Oh,
that's a tough one.
I just saw the new Spider-Man.
I mean, I don't think that movie needs to be recommended.
The whole world's going to see it.
It was pretty good.
Right.
But there might be some people sitting at home going, you know,
everybody's loving it, but what's,
what's the real deal with this movies.
So Matt, you really think it's worth the time and trouble.
Yeah.
Law from wings is made out of dirt the whole time
it's a great time okay that's one that's one way to describe it and and you're okay with uh
you're okay with this series of movies these spider-mans going from uh homecoming to uh uh
far from home to no way home like why is he getting further and further from home Homecoming to Far From Home to No Way Home.
Why is he getting further and further from home?
There's some gaping plot holes
in the new one, but other than that, it was pretty
fun if you don't think about them too much.
All right.
Matt Fernandez
always comes in hot with a recommendation
that has
some explanations.
Last time I recommended Antlers,
people were like, fuck you, that movie sucks.
So now I'm just...
Yeah, you just recommend the most popular movie
that's out there right now, and hopefully
you won't get yelled at
too much.
Okay, Brian Simpson, what do you think?
Could you recommend a movie?
Are there rules? Does it have to be a certain era?
No, it's just any movie.
The idea is just to, you know,
let people know about
good movies. The Old
Guard on Netflix?
Oh, no, no. I guess everyone's seen that.
Okay, what about
Lucky Number Slevin?
Lucky Number Slevin!
Josh Hartnett is a very interesting choice. Josh Hartnett. It's a very interesting choice.
Josh Hartnett, Bruce Willis, Lucy Liu, Sir Ben Kingsley, Morgan Freeman.
It's star-studded.
Yeah, I can barely write out the number, you know, the word seven without,
you know, I always want to put that L in there.
I just said lucky number seven is such is such a funny title to me.
But that's a...
See, Matt, that's what I'm talking about.
That's a movie that
is well-liked, but
there's people that probably haven't
gotten around to watching it that
now that
Brian's brought it up, they might give it
a go. That's a great movie.
Yeah, awful marketing, though.
Yeah.
Well, it was kind of like,
wasn't it a minute late on
pushing Bruce Willis as being
in it? He was just
about to step into
the home video market
in a big way.
To be honest, they could have done without
Bruce Willis.
I feel that way about a lot of movies where Bruce Willis shows up and he just smirks.
You know, he just sits there like, I'm getting a check.
That's pretty much the whole performance.
To me, it's like Bruce Willis is like the he's like he's like he's like the white Denzel Washington.
Whereas like they just go.
We need a we need someone to play a man on the edge.
It's just a man that's just about to lose his shit.
That's bring him in.
Yeah, but he seems like a relatively calm dude a lot of the time.
Yeah, it's I don't you know, I don't get it.
Like, you know, that was the thing about Bruce Willis.
Was he a fast talker or was he
a strong, silent
type? He kind of couldn't make up
his mind. That's why Die Hard's his best
movie because he didn't get too
much in his head yet at that point.
He just played the part and
did it perfectly. It still holds
up to Die Hard. It's so damn
good. It's just ridiculous how good it is.
You know what I
watched recently that I was like, I can't believe this is still
so good. It's the original
Predator.
Oh, okay.
It still holds up after all these years. It's such a
good action movie. I got time
to bleed. There's so much
there's
so there just became so much predator stuff that was
terrible that it just like kind of ruined the whole predator you know oh yeah like star wars
well that's what i like about you know i just started watching boba fett and of course i
watched mandalorian and i the thing i like about those shows is that they seem to be really trying to
recreate like, you know, the very first,
the vibe of the very first two Star Wars movies, you know,
like with the Jawas and the, you know,
basically there's in the dirty desert all the time.
And so I think I just automatically like those shows because they feel like
the Star Wars that I still cling
to, you know, that I still
like.
Greg?
Doug Stanton.
I feel like you're going to recommend a Star Wars movie
and I'm going to jump to this phone and strangle
you. I'm just
picturing you standing outside of Rise of Skywalker
with a sign that says, not my Star Wars. I'm just fucking... But youuring you standing outside a rise of skywalker with a
sign that says not my star wars and just fucking but you know that's the thing is i don't i still
dislike this this the uh prequels more than any other uh aspect of it but at this point i do feel
like every movie's really on its own you know which is why i think i like rogue one because
it is so standalone and you know and i think it's a decent movie you know, which is why I think I like Rogue One because it is so standalone. And, you know, and I think it's a decent movie, you know, the prequels versus sequels things.
And you're still like, I think the sequels contain my least favorite, probably the worst
one they ever made, which was Rise of Skywalker.
But, you know, they also had Last Jedi, which I think is better than any of the other prequels
were.
But yeah, I think it's a little bit more uneven in that in that part.
But anyway, what's your uh
i'm gonna go i'm gonna link up a bunch of flicks that are out now into one recommendation okay
oh this sounds fun all right so you got keanu reeves who's in the matrix resurrections right
you have john favreau and dude who Played the Lizard from Spider-Man.
And we just lost John Madden, who cameos as himself in this movie. It is the 2000 sports non-classic The Replacements about the NFL strike and the replacement players that replaced the NFL players.
And also known for being one of Gene Hackman's last roles, I think too.
So the replacements is a pretty decent sports comedy.
So I would recommend catching up with it if you haven't seen it in a while.
But I feel like recommending the matrix movie kind of.
So the matrix movie is interesting because they tried to make,
did you see it by the way? Yeah, I did. Unfortunately. Yeah. because they tried to make, did you see it by the way?
Yeah I did unfortunately yeah
So they tried to make three different movies
like they tried to make the movie
where they
get a romance between
Neo and Trinity
which is the movie they really wanted to make
and then they tried to make the obligatory
here's what's happened since the last Matrix movie
but the majority of the movie is basically's what's happened since the last Matrix movie.
But the majority of the movie is basically like,
fuck you for wanting a fourth Matrix movie.
We're going to make fun of you for it.
It's basically what it was for like the first 45 minutes of the movie. It was a giant troll job against Warner Brothers
and everybody that ever wanted a Matrix sequel,
which I do appreciate,
but I don't think it all added up to being a very watchable film overall.
Well, I see, I just feel like i don't
like you said they tried to make three different movies and they did and they didn't do a good job
at either movie it was like some of the action was cool but but it was like and like just from
the way it started where it was like they did everything but look at the camera and wink you
know it was sort of this yeah exactly sort of like we're hey we're matrixing
over here you know it was like they were too too aware of themselves it was kind of it was it was
my same problem with the star wars thing right where it was like when they when they wrote the
original star wars they were like hey we need a giant menacing villain when they approached this
space and so they created the atats right but then in subsequent movies it's like
well now we have to service the fans so now we have to put the at80 in the movie and make up a
situation you know make up a reason why it's there and it's why it's there it's sort of what's
happened with the matrix where it's like they're too aware that they're making a matrix movie and
not just focused on telling a good story right and like And like the third ones. I'm talking about resurrection.
No, I'm saying I don't think the second and third one.
I think people were expecting too much of the fourth one because the second
and third ones were both not very good either.
Not very good.
But there's a line in the new one where they actually said if they're
talking about a Matrix video game, but they actually say, like,
if we don't make this, somebody else will.
And they just put all their cards in the table.
Basically, like, we don't want to really be doing this and we we don't want to be here but they're paying us so yeah and then
they open themselves up to all these jokes about how the movies were better when the wachowski
sisters were brought the wachowski brothers yeah you know it's a cheap joke but everyone's gonna make it yeah yeah it's weird it's just strange
uh the uh the fact that it's on hbo max like i i feel like that's how i'm gonna end up watching
and i feel a little guilty because i think it'd be better on the big screen but i also think
that i'll be able to overlook its shortcomings if i watch it in a more comfortable
you know i tried i tried i tried i love the matrix i played i watched the animatrix which was good
i played all the video games some were good some were not and i just i wanted to so bad man
like you know what it reminded me of is you ever have a friend that's a piece of shit
but they're really good
at
staying away just long enough for you
to forget and then you
see them again and you go oh man
I don't know why I hated you so much
get in here and in the moment
you're comfortable they show their shitty selves
again
it was like that like I've forgotten how the Matrix has let me down in the moment you're comfortable, they show their shitty selves again. Yeah, yeah. It was like that.
Like, I've forgotten how The Matrix has let me down in the past.
Right.
And I was like, oh, man, but they've had all these years.
They're going to hit a home run with this one.
They got Keanu Reeves back.
Come on, let's get it.
And I just, and I still think if you like The Matrix that you should watch it.
Yeah, you got to be a completist about it and see the
whole thing if you know like you say if you liked any of it then at least you you know you know
instead of just being like oh the matrix used to be great now i just you know don't watch it anymore
it's like you kind of want to actually see it for yourself but i could that those two parts two and
three let me down in such a big way especially
three because i thought that that was going to be oh this is going to be what happens with a lot of
trilogies where the second one just ends up sort of being like filler and the third one gets back
to business you know and then when the third one on that first trilogy ended up being not great.
It kind of scarred me on Matrix for life, you know?
And I only
got a little excited about it. Because I also
think, I just try to imagine
I would almost rather they just make
it could be with Keanu,
it could be with anybody.
It could also be without Larry Fishburne,
but go ahead and just make a
a new movie like i heard their show that they had didn't they have a show on netflix called
sensate or something like that yeah i heard that was good i heard that was good like why you know
why do they i hate when people just have to keep going back to this well like well you have to keep
making matrix movies you know because you started it like now let somebody else take a crack at it and they should come up with something else that's
uh you know a brand new thing i think the thing was like perspective yeah brian brian mentioned
the action like and i think that was actually my biggest disappointment actually i actually
think the fourth matrix made the second matrix look better because the action in this fourth
one i think they just punted on it like at no point does keanu reeves actually pick up a gun in this movie
and it's kind of like yeah that's maybe moving things forward a little bit but it's also a
matrix movie there's a certain expectation about a matrix movie hey yeah i want to see some shit
get shot up you know and it doesn't even have to be people like that bank scene in the very first
matrix is just that whole bank gets shot to shit and hardly anybody dies.
It just walls, right? Yeah. Walls and columns,
walls and columns getting fucked up. Like,
like they would later be in a Christopher Nolan's inception. All right.
So a lot of these directors don't like walls.
Thank you for your recommendations and the discussion in general.
And we're going to go to our first commercial break.
And when we come back, we're going to play some games.
We'll be right back.
We are back. I had gotten the news that SF Sketch Fest that I've been talking about on this podcast because we were going to do Doug Lowe's movies there on January 15th.
The whole festival has been postponed to an uncertain date and time because of COVID concerns.
in time because of uh covid concerns so but i had prepared a game where i was you know basically it was a wink to uh you know promoting that i was going to be at sketch fest so i figured we might
as well play it anyway uh and uh just say that you know i'm sorry that sketch fest isn't happening i
always look forward to it every year.
And we had to skip last year for the same reason.
But, you know, hopefully it'll happen sometime down the road.
But in the meantime, let's play a game called ABCD's Nuts.
This is a game.
It's a spelling game.
And I think Matt's played it before and greg and i'll i'll explain
it for you brian um you don't really have to be able to spell anything you just have to know
movies and the letter that the title of the movie begins with so i will essentially take turns going
to the three of you we'll start uh you know alphabetically we'll start with matt
fernandez uh matt i'll give you a letter in this case it's gonna be the first letter in the
the phrase the word sketch fest so it's you know an s and then matt will name any movie that begins
with the letter s but if his psychic powers are in effect and he matches the movie that i've already written down
then he automatically wins the game and we go through each letter k would be the next letter
for brian then e for greg slappy etc until we've gone through all of the words sketch fest but
there's also a theme that'll emerge that
you might figure out and it might help you to match what i wrote down if you figure out what
the theme is it's very complicated sounding game but it's it's pretty simple and uh anybody can win
are you ready matt i'm ready all right first letter sketch fest is s so name any movie that begins with the letter s
there's no theme to speak of as of yet because this is the first one seven
seven is a great answer i call it slevin of course
lucky number seven i can i never get over uh the the poster first the movie seven the way they're
like yeah we'll just put the seven instead of a v and no no one will have a problem with that
that makes perfect sense um okay so i wrote down the movie superstar uh starring molly shannon
for reasons you might understand as we move forward.
The next letter is K, Brian.
So name any movie that begins with K.
K.
Let me ask, can I ask a question first?
Sure.
Are we counting thes?
So if it's the K?
Typically, for me in this game, I like to say that the is is the letter T.
But since this is your first time, I will happily accept a title that with with at least at least the next word has to begin with a K after the.
OK, I'm going to say to kill a mockingbird.
OK. okay i'm gonna say uh to kill a mockingbird okay
uh okay i said um the movie that i wrote down is called kentucky fried movie
oh
slappy the next letter is E.
Well, shit.
Yeah, right.
Every which way but loose.
You know, it's the movie I wrote down does begin with every.
So that's pretty exciting how close you got there.
But the movie I wrote down is called
Everything You've Always Wanted to Know About Sex But Were Afraid to Ask.
Right.
So now we're back to T and Sketch.
And that letter goes to Matt.
What do you got polar bear?
Can't figure it out.
Let's just go a top gun.
Always a great,
great answer for the letter T.
I wrote down tunnel vision.
Yeah. Tun tunnel vision. Hmm.
Yeah.
Tunnel vision.
There's some weird ones in here.
The next letter is C for Brian.
C.
Wow.
That's a hard one.
I'm going to say Candyman.
How many times are you going to say it?
Don't do it.
Don't play with those powers.
Don't mess around with that.
Don't mess around.
I haven't seen the new one, but I heard they upped it from,
you have to say it five times now.
I guess it's sort of like those extra security checks on all of our credit cards and stuff these days.
You know, you got to say Candyman five times. You got to really mean it.
You say it four times and then your mayor ask you if you're sure.
Yeah. Yeah. Are you sure you want to verify with this Candyman?
But wow. Again, you got the first three letters right.
Cause I had written down a movie called,
can I do it till I need glasses?
Whoa.
Oh yeah.
Great title.
Great title about masturbating, I guess.
Right.
Cause you're supposed to
jerk off too much.
That's why you need glasses.
Yeah, it was a weird theory.
I think it was mostly just to
punish smart,
nerdy people. Yeah, it's a real scare
tactic, real reefer madness
level scare tactic.
Oh, no. Masturbation.
Your turn, Greg. Masturbation.
Your turn, Greg. It's an H.
Jeez.
Hall pass.
That is a movie that begins with H.
It certainly is.
I picked History of the World Part One.
Nobody's ever,
nobody's going to match me on any of these cause it gets, it gets too weird,
but it's still fun though. F is the next letter for Matt.
Fargo.
I couldn't think of a movie that begins with F that fits the theme.
So I just wrote down
Flarp.
So
you are definitely not going to get that one.
Fargo is a great guest though.
Same number of letters.
Three of the letters are the same, but
I said Flarp.
Before you give me mine, can you give me
the rest of the previous movies?
Oh, okay.
We got Superstar, Kentucky
Fried Movie, Everything
You Always Want to Know About Sex, Tunnel
Vision, Can I Do It Till I
Need Glasses, History of the World
Part One, Flarp
is a made-up movie, and
then E is the next letter
for Brian.
Oh, shit. That didn't help at all.
I'm going to say
End of the World.
Oh, I like that.
But no.
I went with
Extreme Movie.
Greg, this is
a great opportunity for you to
swoop in with
the S. Do you think you know
what the theme is? Oh, no. I definitely know what the theme is. Do you think you know what the
theme is? Oh, no. I definitely
know what the theme is. I just don't know what it would be.
Oh, shit. Yes, I do. Scary movie.
Oh.
No.
Scary movie.
I wrote down, Stuart
saves his family.
Now, okay.
There's two different themes I thought it could be and now i know it's not the one i thought it was but it could definitely be the other one all right well
well this is the last one and you know uh there doesn't have to be a winner to this game but matt
fernandez first of all do you think you know what the theme is? I have no idea
alright I'm just going to tell
you then because it's still not going to help you
enough. Great.
The theme is movies
that
are a series of sketches or are
based on a sketch
based on a sketch yeah
okay
The Ladies Man The Ladies Man.
The Ladies Man is an excellent
guest for that category.
Featuring the great
Tim Meadows and Julianne
Moore dressed up like a clown that likes to
fuck.
But
I wrote down a sketch movie
from the same people that
the gang behind the state and Wet wet hot American summer and lots of great
movies. It was called the 10 and Paul Rudd was in it too.
But anyway, that was, that was a tough one, but everybody,
everybody gets you know, gold stars for,
for all of your attempts.
I thought everybody did terrific under the circumstances,
but we're going to go back to in this next game,
it's going to be back to alphabetical order since the winner would normally
get to go first in the next game. Since we didn't have a winner,
we'll go back to the same order and we'll do that right after this break.
We'll be right back.
We are back.
This is a tight
matchup because no one's
won anything yet.
We're
having fun.
That's the important thing.
We're having a nice time.
Matt Fernandez,
you get to go first in this
next game. I think you three guys
are going to love this game.
I try not to
do too much prepping of
games for specific
guests, but I think
this one is going to be in everybody's
wheelhouse. The game
is called Princess Diarrhea.
All right. Because that's what I call the
Princess Diary movies, and I don't know shit about
them. So this game is to determine which one of the
three of you knows the most. Who knows the most shit
about Princess Diary movies? knows the most which who knows the most shit about princess diary movies
yeah no one's gonna win anything at this it's gonna be so excited no but here's the great thing
is that each of these questions has three potential answers. The answer is either princess diaries or princess diaries to the Royal
engagement or both.
So I'm going to tell you a fact that either applies to the first princess
diaries, the second princess diaries, or both first person gets to guess. If they, or both. First person gets to guess.
If they get it wrong, second person gets to guess.
If they get it wrong, third person gets a gimme.
And it happens in games like this.
You could score a point just by remembering which of the three answers hasn't been said yet.
We'll start with Matt Fernandez.
the three answers hasn't been said yet.
We'll start with Matt Fernandez.
What do you just off the top of your head?
Do you have any thoughts about princess diaries?
I think Anne Hathaway was in it.
Very good. Very good. Very good. That's, you know, that's, that's all most men have, I think.
That's all I got.
Very good.
That's, you know, that's, that's all most men have, I think.
And even lots of women, I, these movies were,
I guess they were popular with like teenage girls at the time.
It would be really weird if I knew a lot about it.
I think so.
Yeah.
That's part of the fun, but I thought, you know,
when I was preparing this, I thought, Oh, it'd be fun if there was an episode where there's a woman or two on the panel and they would be more familiar with these movies.
And there isn't, so we'll see how you guys do.
Matt Fernandez gets first crack at this one.
Princess Diaries 1, 2, or both?
The fact is, it has Hector Elizondo in it.
Oh, boy.
The great character actor, Hector Elizondo.
Still alive.
Still working.
I'll go both.
You're saying that you think Hector Elizondo,
who appeared in every single movie directed by the late, great Gary Marshall,
you think that he was in both Princess Diaries and Princess Diaries 2,
The Royal Engagement?
Sure, let's go for it.
That is correct.
Really?
Yes!
That is correct.
Wow. You? Yes. Yes. Wow.
Sweet.
Great job.
You're on the board.
You have one point.
It's a race to two points.
This next one, we start with Brian.
Are you ready, Brian?
Yep. What do you know
about Princess Diaries?
Nothing. Mostly.
So it's going to be all
instinct. You're going to have to go with your
gut on this.
Princess Diaries 1,
2, or both has
Sandra O in it.
Two.
Sandra O.
Brian Simpson
is taking a swing
saying Princess Diaries 2
Royal Engagement.
I'm sorry. that is incorrect.
Oh.
Well.
Alright, so that means
we go
to Greg.
And
what do you think it is, Greg? Do you think of the remaining answers which one would you pick
so the remaining answers are the first one or both of them
hey if you say so i'm not keeping track of that shit i'll go the first one she's in the first one
you're saying sandra oh is in Princess Diaries number one.
Sideways is own print.
Sandra.
Oh, yes.
I love that movie.
Sideways.
Me too.
I eminently rewatchable movie.
It's so good.
Unfortunately, also so relatable.
Like you were talking earlier about the having a friend that's a piece of shit
and we're also talking about uh the sandman from uh spider-man and what's his name on wings matt
lol lol lol on wings uh why can't i think of his real name now it's three names thomas hayden church yeah
also uh giamatti played the rhino in the second andrew garfield spider-man 2 so two spider
villains oh my goodness the rhino i can remember that he was in a giant mech suit for like two
minutes in that movie terrible russian voice terrible Russian voice. He certainly did.
They did not
ask the rhino to be in this
latest movie.
No.
Somebody should draw a cartoon,
draw a picture of a guy in a rhino suit
sitting by his mailbox looking sad,
waiting for the call.
That's how
you find out you're in the new Spider-Man
through snail mail.
Okay.
Greg guessed what?
The first one.
Oh, you're saying Princess Diaries 1
has Sandra Oh in it.
That is correct.
You did it god damn
this is so exciting
this is a really
you know we're getting there faster than I wanted to
but this is an exciting finish
and we'll have
lots of time
to plug all of
our projects and stuff at the end.
If Matt gets this one right,
he wins the game,
but if he misses,
Brian has a chance
to make this a three-way
tie.
In the classic new
game, Princess Diarrhea.
Matt?
What?
The fuck you want?
It has
Chris Pine
in it. Princess Diaries 1 one princess diaries two or both
i'll say the first one you're going princess diaries one has uh chris pine
captain tiberius t kirk james Tiberius. James Tiberius.
Tiberius J. D. Kirk.
That edible I had before the show is really kicking in.
You're saying Chris Pine is in Princess Diaries 1.
Sure.
Let's do it.
All right.
Go for it.
I always love your attitude.
Yes, before you even ask the question.
You have a go-for-it attitude
and I love it.
But unfortunately, that answer
is incorrect.
Oh, darn.
Chris Pine is not.
The answer is not
part one. It could be both
or it could be part two.
Brian,
which do you think it is?
And I'm sorry, Greg, I didn't recap for you earlier, but then I did for
Brian's. That's fine.
That's quite all right.
Here we are. I'm going to
say both.
You're going to go both?
Yep.
It's an interesting choice, Brian.
I really appreciate you coming on the show,
giving it your all.
But unfortunately, both is incorrect.
Oh!
I know, right?
This is such a sad ending.
Because now Greg,
it's like,
in your world, Greg, it's like the goalie had something to go do.
And everyone else is just fighting.
It's like in a movie scene in a hockey movie where everyone's too busy
fighting to notice you just racing,
just sliding the puck right towards the goal and winning the big game
with just one point, the one point he needed.
But go ahead and say it to make it official.
Chris Pine is in it.
I'm a little distracted by how easily you just did my job.
I think there's no reason I should continue on as a hockey writer.
you just did my job.
I think there's no reason I should continue on as a hockey writer.
Princess Diaries to Royal Engagement would be my,
my final answer.
That is correct.
Oh my God. That is the answer.
You are the winner.
We will have you back on a,
another show soon. I'm have you back on a, uh, another show soon.
Uh, I'm sorry, Matt Fernandez,
your time as a dangling champ has come to an end.
That was the last game.
Well, you know, we played three games when we, uh, when we have an audience
and it's, you know, it's a longer show, but this is a,
this is a tighter version.
And then today is super tight because this went quicker than I expected it to go.
I thought you'd all have an equal amount of knowledge about Princess Diaries,
which of course would be no knowledge at all. I thought you'd be equally unknowledgeable.
unknowledgeable.
The fourth and tie-breaking question was going to be
Raven-Symoné is in it.
Hmm.
Yeah, what would you guess
on that one?
Both. Two.
I'd say both, probably.
So Brian's the only one that said two?
Hmm.
It's so brian's the only one that said two it's too little too late brian but you got one right damn yes wow i am unstoppable at this that is that is so raven what you just
did yeah she and chris pine were uh farting around in part two weren't even in the first one so
yeah
I don't know and then I guess
they might have made some
moves to
like made one without Anne Hathaway
or something and without
Gary Marshall but I don't know
how the I don't even know
how many books the Princess Diary movies were even based on in the first place.
This has been a real education, gentlemen.
I appreciate you joining me and learning more about Princess Diary movies.
And like I said, we'll have you back soon, Greg, but let's go ahead and do your plugs.
What would you like to plug?
Yeah, you can read my stuff on ESPN.com. You can watch me on Daily Wager on ESPN2,
which is our gambling show. I come on and do hockey bet stuff and go to patreon.com
slash puck soup for pop culture writing. And for the other podcasts i do including uh mizumpod which is our food tv
podcast we just did an hour on the food network standard beat bobby flay in all of its glory
so that's patreon.com slash puck soup and what do you think about that recent thing where bobby
flay was like well i'm leaving the food network and everyone looks at each other like well isn't isn't isn't bobby flay the food network aren't they like synonymous with each other and so what's
interesting about that is that they you could it's all on like discovery plus which is like
you know where the food network puts all its shit that's not on the food network
they i think they tried to develop several different shows that are like the Bobby Flay shows in case he left.
But then he stuck around.
So there's a lot of shows that are like, beat Alex Guarnaschelli, throw down with this bald guy.
Like there's a whole bunch of shows they developed in case he left.
Then he stuck around.
So they'd have to dump him on their like streaming service now.
Yeah.
Well, I just thought it was interesting that he basically they basically you know he announced that he was leaving but it was just a ploy to get
more money out of them yeah and they could have just done all that behind the scenes we didn't
need to drag us into it but uh because i was like where the fuck does he think he's gonna go
well that's just it i mean as we cover on on mise en page he's a pulsating asshole. So it's not exactly something too out of character for Bobby Flay.
Sorry about that.
My landline just rang and I picked up the phone and got to say the thing I love to say is I can't talk right now.
I'm podcasting.
Anyway, so, well, thank you for clearing that up, Greg.
I have a friend whose dog is named Bobby Flay
and it's an adorable dog,
but there is that issue of the real Bobby Flay
being not so great.
Matt Fernandez.
Yo.
What do you got to plug, buddy?
Oh, January 6th through the 9th I'll be at
Carolina Comedy Club in Myrtle
Beach you can watch
my hour special on Amazon
and you can follow me on
Twitter at Fat Fernandez
and Instagram at I am
Matt Fernandez
that is all
that is it.
Pleasure to have you.
Pleasure to have you as usual. I will certainly
be reaching out again soon
either when I'm in Florida or you're
in LA or any of
those things could happen.
And yeah.
And first timer.
Princess Diaries. Oh, you're welcome.
I mean, we learned a lot together and uh and also
awesome first time uh guest on the show i i you know i brian i first like you know woke up and
paid attention to you when we would did that uh that asphalt comedy show in la outdoor comedy
uh you were so funny that night.
And I looked you up on Twitter and saw that you were following me. And then,
you know, now here we are. So, uh, uh,
keep up the good work and I can't wait to see, uh, the standups.
Thank you.
On Netflix. Yes. Anything else? Any live dates you want to talk about?
Oh yeah. Yeah. I i'm gonna be in uh
it's all next year i'm um i'm gonna be in the netflix fest in april here in la
oh yeah i'm gonna be in west nyack in january 13th through the 16th
beautiful beautiful mall they got there yeah i'm gonna be in madison wisconsin february 24th in January 13th through the 16th. Beautiful mall
they got there. Yeah, I'm going to be in Madison,
Wisconsin, February 24th through the
26th. Love that
town, love that club.
Comedy on State.
Yeah, Comedy on State.
Yeah. If you go to my
Instagram, it's in my link tree, all my dates.
Awesome. Thank you.
Thank you, Brian Simpson. Thank you in my link tree, all my dates. Awesome. Thank you. Thank you, Brian Simpson.
And before we go,
let's talk for a second about, does anybody have at the end of every episode
lately, I've been just saying the last line from,
from a movie, which are often just, you know,
just boring lines that aren't that particularly interesting, but sometimes,
you know, they're just, there's some classic ones, but does anybody have,
of the three of you, do you have any favorite last movie lines?
A polar bear, polar bear fell on me. Right. I know.
I did that one
already, of course.
That's such a good one.
It's got to be
the
last line of the movie?
Yeah, which gets tricky now
because of all these bonus scenes
that they keep putting in the end credits
and at the end of the movie.
What truly is the last line of the movie.
But I like to think like the last line before the, you know,
before the credits initially began to roll,
because that's traditionally where most movies end.
You don't have to think of one. It's just, most people don't have one.
It's not really something.
No, I know. I know. I know. think of one it's just most people don't have one it's not really something no i know which one
i know you know the last line it matters because that's the point where you know when you when you
see a good movie in the theater how there's that collective satisfaction like you had a good meal
or something yeah and the last line counts and i and the last time i had that break feeling uh it was the truth is i'm iron man
boom credits boom right it's absolutely yes yes yes that is a good one uh greg do you have one
have i asked you this before greg you have and i i uh Sky Captain or The World of Tomorrow. And I can't think of a good last line
at this moment. Well, I came up with one that
found one that I think is a good one, especially for this time of year.
We're closing out the holiday
season. And this is a movie that
people watch a lot season and that this is a movie that, uh, that, uh, people, you know,
uh, watch a lot this time of year. Um,
so that's what I'm going to go with today. Thank you again.
Oh, wait, wait, wait. Can I change?
Yeah. I mean, I'd love to hear another one. It's, you know,
it's not really changing it.
It's just...
Because I like this movie more than the last movie.
I'm going to say the greatest trick
the devil ever pulled
was convincing the world
he didn't exist.
Right.
The usual suspects.
Yeah, that's another
one that I've probably
done already because it really is a classic ending line
that wraps everything up pretty nicely.
They're hard to come by.
And a lot of times the ending line is like,
okay, I'll see you at seven or I'll see you at 11.
It's always something kind of just mundane.
And this one's not the greatest ending line,
but that's how I'm going to close the show today anyway.
One more time, I'll say thank you to Brian Simpson,
Matt Fernandez, and Greg Wyshynski, who will be back very soon.
And as always, Kevin, what did you do to my room?
As always, Kevin, what did you do to my room?