Doug Loves Movies - Matt Fernandez, Brian Simpson and Greg Wyshynski guest

Episode Date: December 31, 2021

Doug welcomes Matt Fernandez, Brian Simpson and Greg Wyshynski to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go t...o stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming baby sticky seeds with 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies! Hey, hey, hey everybody! My name is Doug and I love movies. This isoug loves movies coming to you with another homes alone edition zoom zoom it's thursday january 30th 2021 and my guests today are matt fernandez brian simpson and greg wishinsky hello gentlemen let's meet everybody alphabetically and individually, starting with returning champ from Orlando, the Orlando show we did a few weeks ago. He won it.
Starting point is 00:00:55 He's here, there, now. It's Matt Fernandez. Hello, Matt. Hey, Doug. How's it going? It's going good. Did I give you a nickname yet? No, but I'm dying to get one. I didn't know that was on the table.
Starting point is 00:01:08 I'm thinking, how do you feel about Polar Bear? Because I'm big and white. I get it. Yeah. Yeah. We recently watched Roadhouse together and it has the classic closing line where the guy says a polar bear fell on me. Yeah. That was a great time. I didn't even think of that either. Yeah. We just watched roadhouse. That's true. So that's so polar bears. Perfect for you. And thanks for being here. You were going to, you know, return to the Miami show, but we got, we got postponed in Miami.
Starting point is 00:01:42 That show is now going to happen in April and you know, we'll discuss whether or not Matt can be there when the time comes. Yeah. Who knows? You know, you might, you might blow up Shoei between now and then and you know, be on some sort of tour or something and not be able to drop everything and go to Doral, Florida. Also joining us also joining us today is a first-time guest, a hilarious comedian.
Starting point is 00:02:11 The Stand-Ups is available now on Netflix, and he is one of them. It's Brian Simpson. Hello, Brian. Hey, what's happening? Oh, you know, just making these podcasts from home still. Are you over it i i you know i i like it i like not you know just being able to do this from home but like i think as a listening experience it's less fun than the you know the shows we normally do with uh with an audience because this show from the beginning has been a live audience podcast. So when they hear episodes without all the laughter and stuff, it's you know, people, people are a little less into it,
Starting point is 00:02:52 but I appreciate the people still listen. And I like that I can get guests together from wherever they happen to be. Like it's easier for people to just jump on their device for an hour from, from wherever they are. But your Netflix, the standups is how many comics are in the, in the batch this time? Six. It's always six. Six. So it's six is the third season of it, I guess, in six comics. And all they need to know is that
Starting point is 00:03:25 you're one of them so the all six are available now so all you got to do is just go find uh brian simpson's uh what are they about an hour or half hour they're half hours yeah half hours that's awesome man and uh i'm looking forward to seeing it and. And how has your life changed in the day that it's been out? Oh, yeah. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, I'm trying to respond to everyone. But, you know, it's kind of impossible. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:57 No, you get a lot of feedback. But I've responded to about a thousand people so far. Oh, man. Wow. Bunch of nerds going, you're great, but that one premise, I feel like. Oh, no, you know what? No, no, no. I don't reply to any negative people.
Starting point is 00:04:16 Like, you know, if you don't like my comedy, that's, you know, that's your prerogative. But like, I'm not going to give you my energy. Yeah. No, you should be like an audience member at a show where the comedian doesn't really know your opinion. They just, you know, they just heard everyone else laughing. Yeah. You can laugh or not. That's that's the option. But the people that take the time to say something positive, like message me, I try to message them back. like message me i try to message them back the people who message people on about their displeasure in comedy are like people that like at the show they'd just be sitting there with their arms
Starting point is 00:04:50 crossed so you'd know they weren't into it but you also wouldn't have to talk to them about it if you didn't want to oh yeah oh but but but don't get mistaken like every now and then i wake up you know and i go you know what i got time today right yeah you think you want me to respond to you but you really don't right yeah uh you woke up the sleeping giant yeah the trolls don't need the giant uh to wake up and and stomp on them yeah because i'm petty i'm petty that way sometimes oh yeah no it could get it could get pretty vicious. I like these new messages that pop up on, like, the socials that say, remember, there's a human being on the other end of this conversation.
Starting point is 00:05:34 Like, what? Shut up. They're not human beings most of the time. Right, right. Exactly. It's like Instagram. How do you know that? Yeah. How do you know,? Yeah. How do you know Instagram?
Starting point is 00:05:47 How human they are. They do know a lot, unfortunately. Can you imagine somebody like running up in, in, in Instagram's headquarters with weaponry, but they have, they all have signs on their chest to go. Remember I'm a human being. Yeah, exactly. Don't forget that. I'm a person. Keep that same energy Instagram.
Starting point is 00:06:09 And we have another returning champ on the show today. A lot of competition for you today, Brian. It's Greg Slapshot Wyshynski. Yay. You gave me grief for the good people
Starting point is 00:06:24 at NPR morning edition, not referring to me by my given Doug loves movies nickname when they had me on. Why wouldn't they do that? It's it seems like it's it's ready to go. Well, it's very stuffy. It's NPR. It's very stuffy. You know, they don't have time for fun, fun ass nicknames like Slapshot. Where does Slapshot come from? Well, I'm a hockey writer. names like Slapshot. Where does Slapshot come from? Well, I'm a hockey writer.
Starting point is 00:06:46 Yeah, I write hockey for ESPN. I wrote hockey for ESPN before we got all the games and now I write more of it because we have all the games. Yeah. So yeah. So no, but it's an honor to be...
Starting point is 00:07:01 Can we do reverse alphabetical order at some point? Just because I feel like I'm back in elementary school. You do always get. I mean, not only you in the W's, but the second letters of Y. It sucks. Yeah. It is so deep. I owed my sanity in elementary school to a girl named Holly Ziegler.
Starting point is 00:07:22 She was the only one keeping me from being dead ass last on all those. Wow. Shout out. Shout out to the Z. And then people always just end up calling you Ski for short. No, they went the other way. They went Wish, actually, which is the other way you can go
Starting point is 00:07:40 with that. That's a cool nickname. I never have a cool nickname. No, man. Wish is pretty not bad. I think the coolest people don't have cool nicknames because it's hard to put a label on. My name is... Some people will just go
Starting point is 00:07:56 B. And then I have friends at some point, they started calling me Simp without knowing that that was like... So all my friends in the military call me big simp even though they don't because they don't know what it meant when they started saying it and then
Starting point is 00:08:12 they realized that I hated it so they just kept doing it right that's the trouble with some nicknames is that they when they realize that it's disliked by the person they ramp it up and it really sticks and even though sorry i was gonna say my name was also unfortunately primed for like you know profane
Starting point is 00:08:34 variations like as a hot take us in sports yeah we should ski like the first time i heard that was probably like third grade and then like you, I write something on the Internet and somebody on Twitter comes up with Wyshitzky. I'm like, come on, let's be a little creative. Yeah, man. And even though I moved a lot. And so, you know, you have to reinvent yourself when you go to new cities. But I refuse to cross the line and give myself a nickname. You know, I have so, so, so much disdain for people that do that. They're like, oh, yeah, everyone calls me Maverick.
Starting point is 00:09:07 You know what I'm saying? Yeah. It's a, it's tough for people to push their own, their own nickname. And I've, I've never, never tried that myself. I've been generally against nicknames, but I'm trying to, trying to give people on the show nicknames just is a silly thing to do. And seems like Slappy really likes it so far. So far. So far, Slappy.
Starting point is 00:09:34 You've met the players. But before we begin the games, they each have to answer this one question. We'll start again. Sorry, Greg. Maybe this time it's good. Let him go first. No, I should definitely go last. Okay, we're going alphabetical. Could you please,
Starting point is 00:09:54 Matt Fernandez, could you please recommend one movie? Oh, that's a tough one. I just saw the new Spider-Man. I mean, I don't think that movie needs to be recommended. The whole world's going to see it. It was pretty good.
Starting point is 00:10:08 Right. But there might be some people sitting at home going, you know, everybody's loving it, but what's, what's the real deal with this movies. So Matt, you really think it's worth the time and trouble. Yeah. Law from wings is made out of dirt the whole time it's a great time okay that's one that's one way to describe it and and you're okay with uh
Starting point is 00:10:35 you're okay with this series of movies these spider-mans going from uh homecoming to uh uh far from home to no way home like why is he getting further and further from home Homecoming to Far From Home to No Way Home. Why is he getting further and further from home? There's some gaping plot holes in the new one, but other than that, it was pretty fun if you don't think about them too much. All right. Matt Fernandez
Starting point is 00:10:57 always comes in hot with a recommendation that has some explanations. Last time I recommended Antlers, people were like, fuck you, that movie sucks. So now I'm just... Yeah, you just recommend the most popular movie that's out there right now, and hopefully
Starting point is 00:11:15 you won't get yelled at too much. Okay, Brian Simpson, what do you think? Could you recommend a movie? Are there rules? Does it have to be a certain era? No, it's just any movie. The idea is just to, you know, let people know about
Starting point is 00:11:32 good movies. The Old Guard on Netflix? Oh, no, no. I guess everyone's seen that. Okay, what about Lucky Number Slevin? Lucky Number Slevin! Josh Hartnett is a very interesting choice. Josh Hartnett. It's a very interesting choice. Josh Hartnett, Bruce Willis, Lucy Liu, Sir Ben Kingsley, Morgan Freeman.
Starting point is 00:11:52 It's star-studded. Yeah, I can barely write out the number, you know, the word seven without, you know, I always want to put that L in there. I just said lucky number seven is such is such a funny title to me. But that's a... See, Matt, that's what I'm talking about. That's a movie that is well-liked, but
Starting point is 00:12:13 there's people that probably haven't gotten around to watching it that now that Brian's brought it up, they might give it a go. That's a great movie. Yeah, awful marketing, though. Yeah. Well, it was kind of like,
Starting point is 00:12:29 wasn't it a minute late on pushing Bruce Willis as being in it? He was just about to step into the home video market in a big way. To be honest, they could have done without Bruce Willis.
Starting point is 00:12:45 I feel that way about a lot of movies where Bruce Willis shows up and he just smirks. You know, he just sits there like, I'm getting a check. That's pretty much the whole performance. To me, it's like Bruce Willis is like the he's like he's like he's like the white Denzel Washington. Whereas like they just go. We need a we need someone to play a man on the edge. It's just a man that's just about to lose his shit. That's bring him in.
Starting point is 00:13:15 Yeah, but he seems like a relatively calm dude a lot of the time. Yeah, it's I don't you know, I don't get it. Like, you know, that was the thing about Bruce Willis. Was he a fast talker or was he a strong, silent type? He kind of couldn't make up his mind. That's why Die Hard's his best movie because he didn't get too
Starting point is 00:13:36 much in his head yet at that point. He just played the part and did it perfectly. It still holds up to Die Hard. It's so damn good. It's just ridiculous how good it is. You know what I watched recently that I was like, I can't believe this is still so good. It's the original
Starting point is 00:13:52 Predator. Oh, okay. It still holds up after all these years. It's such a good action movie. I got time to bleed. There's so much there's so there just became so much predator stuff that was terrible that it just like kind of ruined the whole predator you know oh yeah like star wars
Starting point is 00:14:13 well that's what i like about you know i just started watching boba fett and of course i watched mandalorian and i the thing i like about those shows is that they seem to be really trying to recreate like, you know, the very first, the vibe of the very first two Star Wars movies, you know, like with the Jawas and the, you know, basically there's in the dirty desert all the time. And so I think I just automatically like those shows because they feel like the Star Wars that I still cling
Starting point is 00:14:46 to, you know, that I still like. Greg? Doug Stanton. I feel like you're going to recommend a Star Wars movie and I'm going to jump to this phone and strangle you. I'm just picturing you standing outside of Rise of Skywalker
Starting point is 00:15:04 with a sign that says, not my Star Wars. I'm just fucking... But youuring you standing outside a rise of skywalker with a sign that says not my star wars and just fucking but you know that's the thing is i don't i still dislike this this the uh prequels more than any other uh aspect of it but at this point i do feel like every movie's really on its own you know which is why i think i like rogue one because it is so standalone and you know and i think it's a decent movie you know, which is why I think I like Rogue One because it is so standalone. And, you know, and I think it's a decent movie, you know, the prequels versus sequels things. And you're still like, I think the sequels contain my least favorite, probably the worst one they ever made, which was Rise of Skywalker. But, you know, they also had Last Jedi, which I think is better than any of the other prequels
Starting point is 00:15:39 were. But yeah, I think it's a little bit more uneven in that in that part. But anyway, what's your uh i'm gonna go i'm gonna link up a bunch of flicks that are out now into one recommendation okay oh this sounds fun all right so you got keanu reeves who's in the matrix resurrections right you have john favreau and dude who Played the Lizard from Spider-Man. And we just lost John Madden, who cameos as himself in this movie. It is the 2000 sports non-classic The Replacements about the NFL strike and the replacement players that replaced the NFL players. And also known for being one of Gene Hackman's last roles, I think too.
Starting point is 00:16:27 So the replacements is a pretty decent sports comedy. So I would recommend catching up with it if you haven't seen it in a while. But I feel like recommending the matrix movie kind of. So the matrix movie is interesting because they tried to make, did you see it by the way? Yeah, I did. Unfortunately. Yeah. because they tried to make, did you see it by the way? Yeah I did unfortunately yeah So they tried to make three different movies like they tried to make the movie
Starting point is 00:16:52 where they get a romance between Neo and Trinity which is the movie they really wanted to make and then they tried to make the obligatory here's what's happened since the last Matrix movie but the majority of the movie is basically's what's happened since the last Matrix movie. But the majority of the movie is basically like,
Starting point is 00:17:09 fuck you for wanting a fourth Matrix movie. We're going to make fun of you for it. It's basically what it was for like the first 45 minutes of the movie. It was a giant troll job against Warner Brothers and everybody that ever wanted a Matrix sequel, which I do appreciate, but I don't think it all added up to being a very watchable film overall. Well, I see, I just feel like i don't like you said they tried to make three different movies and they did and they didn't do a good job
Starting point is 00:17:31 at either movie it was like some of the action was cool but but it was like and like just from the way it started where it was like they did everything but look at the camera and wink you know it was sort of this yeah exactly sort of like we're hey we're matrixing over here you know it was like they were too too aware of themselves it was kind of it was it was my same problem with the star wars thing right where it was like when they when they wrote the original star wars they were like hey we need a giant menacing villain when they approached this space and so they created the atats right but then in subsequent movies it's like well now we have to service the fans so now we have to put the at80 in the movie and make up a
Starting point is 00:18:11 situation you know make up a reason why it's there and it's why it's there it's sort of what's happened with the matrix where it's like they're too aware that they're making a matrix movie and not just focused on telling a good story right and like And like the third ones. I'm talking about resurrection. No, I'm saying I don't think the second and third one. I think people were expecting too much of the fourth one because the second and third ones were both not very good either. Not very good. But there's a line in the new one where they actually said if they're
Starting point is 00:18:36 talking about a Matrix video game, but they actually say, like, if we don't make this, somebody else will. And they just put all their cards in the table. Basically, like, we don't want to really be doing this and we we don't want to be here but they're paying us so yeah and then they open themselves up to all these jokes about how the movies were better when the wachowski sisters were brought the wachowski brothers yeah you know it's a cheap joke but everyone's gonna make it yeah yeah it's weird it's just strange uh the uh the fact that it's on hbo max like i i feel like that's how i'm gonna end up watching and i feel a little guilty because i think it'd be better on the big screen but i also think
Starting point is 00:19:20 that i'll be able to overlook its shortcomings if i watch it in a more comfortable you know i tried i tried i tried i love the matrix i played i watched the animatrix which was good i played all the video games some were good some were not and i just i wanted to so bad man like you know what it reminded me of is you ever have a friend that's a piece of shit but they're really good at staying away just long enough for you to forget and then you
Starting point is 00:19:54 see them again and you go oh man I don't know why I hated you so much get in here and in the moment you're comfortable they show their shitty selves again it was like that like I've forgotten how the Matrix has let me down in the moment you're comfortable, they show their shitty selves again. Yeah, yeah. It was like that. Like, I've forgotten how The Matrix has let me down in the past. Right.
Starting point is 00:20:09 And I was like, oh, man, but they've had all these years. They're going to hit a home run with this one. They got Keanu Reeves back. Come on, let's get it. And I just, and I still think if you like The Matrix that you should watch it. Yeah, you got to be a completist about it and see the whole thing if you know like you say if you liked any of it then at least you you know you know instead of just being like oh the matrix used to be great now i just you know don't watch it anymore
Starting point is 00:20:36 it's like you kind of want to actually see it for yourself but i could that those two parts two and three let me down in such a big way especially three because i thought that that was going to be oh this is going to be what happens with a lot of trilogies where the second one just ends up sort of being like filler and the third one gets back to business you know and then when the third one on that first trilogy ended up being not great. It kind of scarred me on Matrix for life, you know? And I only got a little excited about it. Because I also
Starting point is 00:21:13 think, I just try to imagine I would almost rather they just make it could be with Keanu, it could be with anybody. It could also be without Larry Fishburne, but go ahead and just make a a new movie like i heard their show that they had didn't they have a show on netflix called sensate or something like that yeah i heard that was good i heard that was good like why you know
Starting point is 00:21:37 why do they i hate when people just have to keep going back to this well like well you have to keep making matrix movies you know because you started it like now let somebody else take a crack at it and they should come up with something else that's uh you know a brand new thing i think the thing was like perspective yeah brian brian mentioned the action like and i think that was actually my biggest disappointment actually i actually think the fourth matrix made the second matrix look better because the action in this fourth one i think they just punted on it like at no point does keanu reeves actually pick up a gun in this movie and it's kind of like yeah that's maybe moving things forward a little bit but it's also a matrix movie there's a certain expectation about a matrix movie hey yeah i want to see some shit
Starting point is 00:22:18 get shot up you know and it doesn't even have to be people like that bank scene in the very first matrix is just that whole bank gets shot to shit and hardly anybody dies. It just walls, right? Yeah. Walls and columns, walls and columns getting fucked up. Like, like they would later be in a Christopher Nolan's inception. All right. So a lot of these directors don't like walls. Thank you for your recommendations and the discussion in general. And we're going to go to our first commercial break.
Starting point is 00:22:51 And when we come back, we're going to play some games. We'll be right back. We are back. I had gotten the news that SF Sketch Fest that I've been talking about on this podcast because we were going to do Doug Lowe's movies there on January 15th. The whole festival has been postponed to an uncertain date and time because of COVID concerns. in time because of uh covid concerns so but i had prepared a game where i was you know basically it was a wink to uh you know promoting that i was going to be at sketch fest so i figured we might as well play it anyway uh and uh just say that you know i'm sorry that sketch fest isn't happening i always look forward to it every year. And we had to skip last year for the same reason.
Starting point is 00:23:48 But, you know, hopefully it'll happen sometime down the road. But in the meantime, let's play a game called ABCD's Nuts. This is a game. It's a spelling game. And I think Matt's played it before and greg and i'll i'll explain it for you brian um you don't really have to be able to spell anything you just have to know movies and the letter that the title of the movie begins with so i will essentially take turns going to the three of you we'll start uh you know alphabetically we'll start with matt
Starting point is 00:24:25 fernandez uh matt i'll give you a letter in this case it's gonna be the first letter in the the phrase the word sketch fest so it's you know an s and then matt will name any movie that begins with the letter s but if his psychic powers are in effect and he matches the movie that i've already written down then he automatically wins the game and we go through each letter k would be the next letter for brian then e for greg slappy etc until we've gone through all of the words sketch fest but there's also a theme that'll emerge that you might figure out and it might help you to match what i wrote down if you figure out what the theme is it's very complicated sounding game but it's it's pretty simple and uh anybody can win
Starting point is 00:25:17 are you ready matt i'm ready all right first letter sketch fest is s so name any movie that begins with the letter s there's no theme to speak of as of yet because this is the first one seven seven is a great answer i call it slevin of course lucky number seven i can i never get over uh the the poster first the movie seven the way they're like yeah we'll just put the seven instead of a v and no no one will have a problem with that that makes perfect sense um okay so i wrote down the movie superstar uh starring molly shannon for reasons you might understand as we move forward. The next letter is K, Brian.
Starting point is 00:26:07 So name any movie that begins with K. K. Let me ask, can I ask a question first? Sure. Are we counting thes? So if it's the K? Typically, for me in this game, I like to say that the is is the letter T. But since this is your first time, I will happily accept a title that with with at least at least the next word has to begin with a K after the.
Starting point is 00:26:41 OK, I'm going to say to kill a mockingbird. OK. okay i'm gonna say uh to kill a mockingbird okay uh okay i said um the movie that i wrote down is called kentucky fried movie oh slappy the next letter is E. Well, shit. Yeah, right. Every which way but loose.
Starting point is 00:27:19 You know, it's the movie I wrote down does begin with every. So that's pretty exciting how close you got there. But the movie I wrote down is called Everything You've Always Wanted to Know About Sex But Were Afraid to Ask. Right. So now we're back to T and Sketch. And that letter goes to Matt. What do you got polar bear?
Starting point is 00:27:52 Can't figure it out. Let's just go a top gun. Always a great, great answer for the letter T. I wrote down tunnel vision. Yeah. Tun tunnel vision. Hmm. Yeah. Tunnel vision.
Starting point is 00:28:09 There's some weird ones in here. The next letter is C for Brian. C. Wow. That's a hard one. I'm going to say Candyman. How many times are you going to say it? Don't do it.
Starting point is 00:28:31 Don't play with those powers. Don't mess around with that. Don't mess around. I haven't seen the new one, but I heard they upped it from, you have to say it five times now. I guess it's sort of like those extra security checks on all of our credit cards and stuff these days. You know, you got to say Candyman five times. You got to really mean it. You say it four times and then your mayor ask you if you're sure.
Starting point is 00:28:54 Yeah. Yeah. Are you sure you want to verify with this Candyman? But wow. Again, you got the first three letters right. Cause I had written down a movie called, can I do it till I need glasses? Whoa. Oh yeah. Great title. Great title about masturbating, I guess.
Starting point is 00:29:24 Right. Cause you're supposed to jerk off too much. That's why you need glasses. Yeah, it was a weird theory. I think it was mostly just to punish smart, nerdy people. Yeah, it's a real scare
Starting point is 00:29:39 tactic, real reefer madness level scare tactic. Oh, no. Masturbation. Your turn, Greg. Masturbation. Your turn, Greg. It's an H. Jeez. Hall pass. That is a movie that begins with H.
Starting point is 00:29:59 It certainly is. I picked History of the World Part One. Nobody's ever, nobody's going to match me on any of these cause it gets, it gets too weird, but it's still fun though. F is the next letter for Matt. Fargo. I couldn't think of a movie that begins with F that fits the theme. So I just wrote down
Starting point is 00:30:25 Flarp. So you are definitely not going to get that one. Fargo is a great guest though. Same number of letters. Three of the letters are the same, but I said Flarp. Before you give me mine, can you give me
Starting point is 00:30:41 the rest of the previous movies? Oh, okay. We got Superstar, Kentucky Fried Movie, Everything You Always Want to Know About Sex, Tunnel Vision, Can I Do It Till I Need Glasses, History of the World Part One, Flarp
Starting point is 00:30:58 is a made-up movie, and then E is the next letter for Brian. Oh, shit. That didn't help at all. I'm going to say End of the World. Oh, I like that. But no.
Starting point is 00:31:26 I went with Extreme Movie. Greg, this is a great opportunity for you to swoop in with the S. Do you think you know what the theme is? Oh, no. I definitely know what the theme is. Do you think you know what the theme is? Oh, no. I definitely
Starting point is 00:31:48 know what the theme is. I just don't know what it would be. Oh, shit. Yes, I do. Scary movie. Oh. No. Scary movie. I wrote down, Stuart saves his family. Now, okay.
Starting point is 00:32:09 There's two different themes I thought it could be and now i know it's not the one i thought it was but it could definitely be the other one all right well well this is the last one and you know uh there doesn't have to be a winner to this game but matt fernandez first of all do you think you know what the theme is? I have no idea alright I'm just going to tell you then because it's still not going to help you enough. Great. The theme is movies that
Starting point is 00:32:35 are a series of sketches or are based on a sketch based on a sketch yeah okay The Ladies Man The Ladies Man. The Ladies Man is an excellent guest for that category. Featuring the great
Starting point is 00:32:51 Tim Meadows and Julianne Moore dressed up like a clown that likes to fuck. But I wrote down a sketch movie from the same people that the gang behind the state and Wet wet hot American summer and lots of great movies. It was called the 10 and Paul Rudd was in it too.
Starting point is 00:33:13 But anyway, that was, that was a tough one, but everybody, everybody gets you know, gold stars for, for all of your attempts. I thought everybody did terrific under the circumstances, but we're going to go back to in this next game, it's going to be back to alphabetical order since the winner would normally get to go first in the next game. Since we didn't have a winner, we'll go back to the same order and we'll do that right after this break.
Starting point is 00:33:44 We'll be right back. We are back. This is a tight matchup because no one's won anything yet. We're having fun. That's the important thing.
Starting point is 00:34:02 We're having a nice time. Matt Fernandez, you get to go first in this next game. I think you three guys are going to love this game. I try not to do too much prepping of games for specific
Starting point is 00:34:17 guests, but I think this one is going to be in everybody's wheelhouse. The game is called Princess Diarrhea. All right. Because that's what I call the Princess Diary movies, and I don't know shit about them. So this game is to determine which one of the three of you knows the most. Who knows the most shit
Starting point is 00:34:43 about Princess Diary movies? knows the most which who knows the most shit about princess diary movies yeah no one's gonna win anything at this it's gonna be so excited no but here's the great thing is that each of these questions has three potential answers. The answer is either princess diaries or princess diaries to the Royal engagement or both. So I'm going to tell you a fact that either applies to the first princess diaries, the second princess diaries, or both first person gets to guess. If they, or both. First person gets to guess. If they get it wrong, second person gets to guess. If they get it wrong, third person gets a gimme.
Starting point is 00:35:32 And it happens in games like this. You could score a point just by remembering which of the three answers hasn't been said yet. We'll start with Matt Fernandez. the three answers hasn't been said yet. We'll start with Matt Fernandez. What do you just off the top of your head? Do you have any thoughts about princess diaries? I think Anne Hathaway was in it.
Starting point is 00:36:02 Very good. Very good. Very good. That's, you know, that's, that's all most men have, I think. That's all I got. Very good. That's, you know, that's, that's all most men have, I think. And even lots of women, I, these movies were, I guess they were popular with like teenage girls at the time. It would be really weird if I knew a lot about it. I think so.
Starting point is 00:36:18 Yeah. That's part of the fun, but I thought, you know, when I was preparing this, I thought, Oh, it'd be fun if there was an episode where there's a woman or two on the panel and they would be more familiar with these movies. And there isn't, so we'll see how you guys do. Matt Fernandez gets first crack at this one. Princess Diaries 1, 2, or both? The fact is, it has Hector Elizondo in it. Oh, boy.
Starting point is 00:36:47 The great character actor, Hector Elizondo. Still alive. Still working. I'll go both. You're saying that you think Hector Elizondo, who appeared in every single movie directed by the late, great Gary Marshall, you think that he was in both Princess Diaries and Princess Diaries 2, The Royal Engagement?
Starting point is 00:37:15 Sure, let's go for it. That is correct. Really? Yes! That is correct. Wow. You? Yes. Yes. Wow. Sweet. Great job.
Starting point is 00:37:33 You're on the board. You have one point. It's a race to two points. This next one, we start with Brian. Are you ready, Brian? Yep. What do you know about Princess Diaries? Nothing. Mostly.
Starting point is 00:37:54 So it's going to be all instinct. You're going to have to go with your gut on this. Princess Diaries 1, 2, or both has Sandra O in it. Two. Sandra O.
Starting point is 00:38:13 Brian Simpson is taking a swing saying Princess Diaries 2 Royal Engagement. I'm sorry. that is incorrect. Oh. Well. Alright, so that means
Starting point is 00:38:35 we go to Greg. And what do you think it is, Greg? Do you think of the remaining answers which one would you pick so the remaining answers are the first one or both of them hey if you say so i'm not keeping track of that shit i'll go the first one she's in the first one you're saying sandra oh is in Princess Diaries number one. Sideways is own print.
Starting point is 00:39:08 Sandra. Oh, yes. I love that movie. Sideways. Me too. I eminently rewatchable movie. It's so good. Unfortunately, also so relatable.
Starting point is 00:39:21 Like you were talking earlier about the having a friend that's a piece of shit and we're also talking about uh the sandman from uh spider-man and what's his name on wings matt lol lol lol on wings uh why can't i think of his real name now it's three names thomas hayden church yeah also uh giamatti played the rhino in the second andrew garfield spider-man 2 so two spider villains oh my goodness the rhino i can remember that he was in a giant mech suit for like two minutes in that movie terrible russian voice terrible Russian voice. He certainly did. They did not ask the rhino to be in this
Starting point is 00:40:10 latest movie. No. Somebody should draw a cartoon, draw a picture of a guy in a rhino suit sitting by his mailbox looking sad, waiting for the call. That's how you find out you're in the new Spider-Man
Starting point is 00:40:25 through snail mail. Okay. Greg guessed what? The first one. Oh, you're saying Princess Diaries 1 has Sandra Oh in it. That is correct. You did it god damn
Starting point is 00:40:50 this is so exciting this is a really you know we're getting there faster than I wanted to but this is an exciting finish and we'll have lots of time to plug all of our projects and stuff at the end.
Starting point is 00:41:11 If Matt gets this one right, he wins the game, but if he misses, Brian has a chance to make this a three-way tie. In the classic new game, Princess Diarrhea.
Starting point is 00:41:33 Matt? What? The fuck you want? It has Chris Pine in it. Princess Diaries 1 one princess diaries two or both i'll say the first one you're going princess diaries one has uh chris pine captain tiberius t kirk james Tiberius. James Tiberius.
Starting point is 00:42:06 Tiberius J. D. Kirk. That edible I had before the show is really kicking in. You're saying Chris Pine is in Princess Diaries 1. Sure. Let's do it. All right. Go for it. I always love your attitude.
Starting point is 00:42:24 Yes, before you even ask the question. You have a go-for-it attitude and I love it. But unfortunately, that answer is incorrect. Oh, darn. Chris Pine is not. The answer is not
Starting point is 00:42:40 part one. It could be both or it could be part two. Brian, which do you think it is? And I'm sorry, Greg, I didn't recap for you earlier, but then I did for Brian's. That's fine. That's quite all right. Here we are. I'm going to
Starting point is 00:42:58 say both. You're going to go both? Yep. It's an interesting choice, Brian. I really appreciate you coming on the show, giving it your all. But unfortunately, both is incorrect. Oh!
Starting point is 00:43:18 I know, right? This is such a sad ending. Because now Greg, it's like, in your world, Greg, it's like the goalie had something to go do. And everyone else is just fighting. It's like in a movie scene in a hockey movie where everyone's too busy fighting to notice you just racing,
Starting point is 00:43:41 just sliding the puck right towards the goal and winning the big game with just one point, the one point he needed. But go ahead and say it to make it official. Chris Pine is in it. I'm a little distracted by how easily you just did my job. I think there's no reason I should continue on as a hockey writer. you just did my job. I think there's no reason I should continue on as a hockey writer.
Starting point is 00:44:12 Princess Diaries to Royal Engagement would be my, my final answer. That is correct. Oh my God. That is the answer. You are the winner. We will have you back on a, another show soon. I'm have you back on a, uh, another show soon. Uh, I'm sorry, Matt Fernandez,
Starting point is 00:44:28 your time as a dangling champ has come to an end. That was the last game. Well, you know, we played three games when we, uh, when we have an audience and it's, you know, it's a longer show, but this is a, this is a tighter version. And then today is super tight because this went quicker than I expected it to go. I thought you'd all have an equal amount of knowledge about Princess Diaries, which of course would be no knowledge at all. I thought you'd be equally unknowledgeable.
Starting point is 00:45:01 unknowledgeable. The fourth and tie-breaking question was going to be Raven-Symoné is in it. Hmm. Yeah, what would you guess on that one? Both. Two. I'd say both, probably.
Starting point is 00:45:22 So Brian's the only one that said two? Hmm. It's so brian's the only one that said two it's too little too late brian but you got one right damn yes wow i am unstoppable at this that is that is so raven what you just did yeah she and chris pine were uh farting around in part two weren't even in the first one so yeah I don't know and then I guess they might have made some moves to
Starting point is 00:45:54 like made one without Anne Hathaway or something and without Gary Marshall but I don't know how the I don't even know how many books the Princess Diary movies were even based on in the first place. This has been a real education, gentlemen. I appreciate you joining me and learning more about Princess Diary movies. And like I said, we'll have you back soon, Greg, but let's go ahead and do your plugs.
Starting point is 00:46:23 What would you like to plug? Yeah, you can read my stuff on ESPN.com. You can watch me on Daily Wager on ESPN2, which is our gambling show. I come on and do hockey bet stuff and go to patreon.com slash puck soup for pop culture writing. And for the other podcasts i do including uh mizumpod which is our food tv podcast we just did an hour on the food network standard beat bobby flay in all of its glory so that's patreon.com slash puck soup and what do you think about that recent thing where bobby flay was like well i'm leaving the food network and everyone looks at each other like well isn't isn't isn't bobby flay the food network aren't they like synonymous with each other and so what's interesting about that is that they you could it's all on like discovery plus which is like
Starting point is 00:47:15 you know where the food network puts all its shit that's not on the food network they i think they tried to develop several different shows that are like the Bobby Flay shows in case he left. But then he stuck around. So there's a lot of shows that are like, beat Alex Guarnaschelli, throw down with this bald guy. Like there's a whole bunch of shows they developed in case he left. Then he stuck around. So they'd have to dump him on their like streaming service now. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:42 Well, I just thought it was interesting that he basically they basically you know he announced that he was leaving but it was just a ploy to get more money out of them yeah and they could have just done all that behind the scenes we didn't need to drag us into it but uh because i was like where the fuck does he think he's gonna go well that's just it i mean as we cover on on mise en page he's a pulsating asshole. So it's not exactly something too out of character for Bobby Flay. Sorry about that. My landline just rang and I picked up the phone and got to say the thing I love to say is I can't talk right now. I'm podcasting. Anyway, so, well, thank you for clearing that up, Greg.
Starting point is 00:48:30 I have a friend whose dog is named Bobby Flay and it's an adorable dog, but there is that issue of the real Bobby Flay being not so great. Matt Fernandez. Yo. What do you got to plug, buddy? Oh, January 6th through the 9th I'll be at
Starting point is 00:48:48 Carolina Comedy Club in Myrtle Beach you can watch my hour special on Amazon and you can follow me on Twitter at Fat Fernandez and Instagram at I am Matt Fernandez that is all
Starting point is 00:49:03 that is it. Pleasure to have you. Pleasure to have you as usual. I will certainly be reaching out again soon either when I'm in Florida or you're in LA or any of those things could happen. And yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:19 And first timer. Princess Diaries. Oh, you're welcome. I mean, we learned a lot together and uh and also awesome first time uh guest on the show i i you know i brian i first like you know woke up and paid attention to you when we would did that uh that asphalt comedy show in la outdoor comedy uh you were so funny that night. And I looked you up on Twitter and saw that you were following me. And then, you know, now here we are. So, uh, uh,
Starting point is 00:49:51 keep up the good work and I can't wait to see, uh, the standups. Thank you. On Netflix. Yes. Anything else? Any live dates you want to talk about? Oh yeah. Yeah. I i'm gonna be in uh it's all next year i'm um i'm gonna be in the netflix fest in april here in la oh yeah i'm gonna be in west nyack in january 13th through the 16th beautiful beautiful mall they got there yeah i'm gonna be in madison wisconsin february 24th in January 13th through the 16th. Beautiful mall they got there. Yeah, I'm going to be in Madison,
Starting point is 00:50:28 Wisconsin, February 24th through the 26th. Love that town, love that club. Comedy on State. Yeah, Comedy on State. Yeah. If you go to my Instagram, it's in my link tree, all my dates. Awesome. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:50:44 Thank you, Brian Simpson. Thank you in my link tree, all my dates. Awesome. Thank you. Thank you, Brian Simpson. And before we go, let's talk for a second about, does anybody have at the end of every episode lately, I've been just saying the last line from, from a movie, which are often just, you know, just boring lines that aren't that particularly interesting, but sometimes, you know, they're just, there's some classic ones, but does anybody have, of the three of you, do you have any favorite last movie lines?
Starting point is 00:51:20 A polar bear, polar bear fell on me. Right. I know. I did that one already, of course. That's such a good one. It's got to be the last line of the movie? Yeah, which gets tricky now
Starting point is 00:51:37 because of all these bonus scenes that they keep putting in the end credits and at the end of the movie. What truly is the last line of the movie. But I like to think like the last line before the, you know, before the credits initially began to roll, because that's traditionally where most movies end. You don't have to think of one. It's just, most people don't have one.
Starting point is 00:52:03 It's not really something. No, I know. I know. I know. think of one it's just most people don't have one it's not really something no i know which one i know you know the last line it matters because that's the point where you know when you when you see a good movie in the theater how there's that collective satisfaction like you had a good meal or something yeah and the last line counts and i and the last time i had that break feeling uh it was the truth is i'm iron man boom credits boom right it's absolutely yes yes yes that is a good one uh greg do you have one have i asked you this before greg you have and i i uh Sky Captain or The World of Tomorrow. And I can't think of a good last line at this moment. Well, I came up with one that
Starting point is 00:52:51 found one that I think is a good one, especially for this time of year. We're closing out the holiday season. And this is a movie that people watch a lot season and that this is a movie that, uh, that, uh, people, you know, uh, watch a lot this time of year. Um, so that's what I'm going to go with today. Thank you again. Oh, wait, wait, wait. Can I change? Yeah. I mean, I'd love to hear another one. It's, you know,
Starting point is 00:53:23 it's not really changing it. It's just... Because I like this movie more than the last movie. I'm going to say the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. Right.
Starting point is 00:53:38 The usual suspects. Yeah, that's another one that I've probably done already because it really is a classic ending line that wraps everything up pretty nicely. They're hard to come by. And a lot of times the ending line is like, okay, I'll see you at seven or I'll see you at 11.
Starting point is 00:53:59 It's always something kind of just mundane. And this one's not the greatest ending line, but that's how I'm going to close the show today anyway. One more time, I'll say thank you to Brian Simpson, Matt Fernandez, and Greg Wyshynski, who will be back very soon. And as always, Kevin, what did you do to my room? As always, Kevin, what did you do to my room?

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