Doug Loves Movies - Matt Mira, Jonah Ray, and Jimmy Thomason Guest
Episode Date: July 23, 2012Live from Hyenas Comedy Club in Dallas, TX, Doug welcomes comedians Matt Mira and Jonah Ray, and audience winner Jimmy Thomason to the show....See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy ...and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds
With 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves to whiz
Hey everybody! Hey, everybody. Hey, everybody.
I just ripped my notes in half.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
I really do.
This is Doug Loves Movies coming to you from Hyenas Comedy Club
in Dallas, Texas on Sunday, July 22nd
to Oceans 12!
We did it!
So yeah, so we had some technical issues
that will be cut from the program.
Boo!
People want to hear me going, test, test.
This isn't working.
Why isn't this working?
Help me, Mr. Hyena.
Is your mic working?
Okay, so...
There was those technical difficulties and then uh i actually have kind
of a sincere statement uh that i would like to say at this time uh just because i think it's
important to be said uh since last i spoke and you listened a terrible tragedy happened
to americans humanity and the shared experience of going to the movies. My thoughts go out to all who lost their lives
just because they wanted to escape their lives
for a few hours of entertainment at that theater in Colorado.
And I implore everyone here tonight and listening to this show,
whether it's Dark Knight Rises or something else,
see a movie in a theater with other people soon
and don't let one lunatic ruin the ability to, you know,
enjoy one of all of our favorite pastimes.
There.
I had to say something because, as comedians tend to do,
one of us will probably say something terrible about it later in the show.
And I don't want to be accused of being callous or uncaring about that terrible incident.
Earlier today, I did a stand-up show right here at Hyena's.
And I'll be doing another one tomorrow night at the Hyena's in Fort Worth.
And we played the Leonard Maltin game today
with audience members, and the winner
is going to be on the panel tonight.
And let's look in the prize bag, you guys.
People from the audience
contributed
a couple of different items.
Some guy, some creep
gave me a copy of Pretty Baby.
The Brooke Shields was too young
to be naked in a movie movie.
And let's play Watch This, Not That
with the two movies that were contributed to the bag
because somebody else gave me
the Bill Murray movie Quick Change.
Yeah, in which no one under 18
appears totally naked.
So watch Quick Change, Not Pretty Baby.
This has been Watch This, Not That, Prize Bag Edition.
And then we've got a cool shirt
that has Malcolm McDowell from Clockwork Orange,
but with an orange in front of his face,
like that painting where the guy has the apple in front of his face.
So that's pretty cool.
And then, of course, a Doug Loves Movies T-shirt,
a copy of my CD Smug Life,
a copy of my first CD, Professional Humoridian,
a copy of a great new book from the Comedy Film Nerds,
The Comedy Film Nerds Guide to Movies.
I wrote a little something in there.
And you can get those from comedyfilmnerds.com.
And also, we've got another T-shirt.
This one is locally purchased.
And it says,
Beaver's Rule. Squirrels are okay, but beavers rule.
Squirrels are okay,
but beavers rule,
which is definitely my motto.
And I think that's
everything in the bank.
Oh yeah, on the last show,
a guy gave me a case
for my iPhone,
and he said it's going to
make your life a lot better,
and I would rather someone else's
life be better
and I'll just continue to risk breaking my
iPhone by not putting
a case on it. Because it's harder to slip
in and out of your pocket if it has a case on it.
That's my feeling.
Alright.
Great story.
Please welcome to the stage
Matt Myra, Jonah Ray, and Jimmy Thomason.
Check.
Check. Check. Check.
Check. Check. Check. Syllabus.
Go. Talk.
Mine doesn't have to be. Holy shit, they all work.
They're all working.
What?
Jimmy Jizz, everybody. Jimmy Jizz.
If you weren't at the earlier
show, Jonah got freaked out
because he thought there was jizz on this gentleman's chest.
Oh yeah, Jimmy Jizz, I get it.
You're the one who said it.
I swear to you, I'm not into shoes or Sex and the City or any of that, but I really thought that guy just yelled out Jimmy Choose.
That's what I thought he said.
I'm pretty sure that's a type of shoe.
A Jimmy Chew.
Right? And there's also
Manolo Bolognese.
Because I've had
girlfriends that make me watch Sex and the City.
So I pick up a couple
of those references. Yeah, right.
No, I sit there and jerk off to it.
Oh, Miranda!
You have a right to remain silent.
Well, I jerk off on your Jimmy Chews.
So the gentleman's name, sir,
is Jimmy Thomason. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, and you won the Leonard M name, sir, is Jimmy Thomason.
Yeah.
And you won the Leonard Moulton game,
so congratulations for being a guest.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Where do you...
Do you live here in Dallas?
Yeah, North Dallas.
North Dallas.
So you don't live in Dallas.
You live in North Dallas.
North of Dallas. Oh, so you don don't live in Dallas. You live in North Dallas. North of Dallas.
Oh, so you don't even live in Dallas at all.
No.
A lot of cracks in this case.
Wow.
Yeah.
I live in North Dallas.
It's called Oklahoma City.
And what do you do in North of Dallas?
I'm a graphic designer.
But what do you really do?
How do you make the money?
I work for a
software company and I make
e-learning courses. It's kind of boring.
That's cool.
I do graphic design on the side.
You got a nice Van Dyke.
Thank you.
It's another fashion thing.
Oh.
And then you made the t-shirt with the It's another fashion thing Oh Yeah So and then
You made the
T-shirt
The Clockwork Orange shirt
That's in the bag
Yes
And you brought
That was
He came to the first show
With a prize
He was like
Well just in case
I get picked
And play
And win
If all three of those things happen
I will have a prize
To contribute to the bag
Wow
Yeah yeah
Better than me.
A lot of things are.
I forgot.
That's true.
Jonah, you're right.
I've got a list of things that are better than Matt Myra.
Goddamn, I'm fucking sure.
Sunshine, oral sex.
Hang on, it's a long list.
Everybody pull out your lists.
I know you got them.
Guys, that list is called the dictionary.
No, there are things in the dictionary that are
worse than you.
You're way better than Aardvarks.
Oh, well, thank you.
Hatred
is in the dictionary. You're better than hatred.
Meh.
On your better days.
But that is Matt Myra, ladies and gentlemen.
Let's hear it for Matt.
We did a Nerdist show last night
that may or may not become available
for people to listen to.
Yeah.
In the Nerdist.
He does so many shows now.
Don't know how that's decided.
He doesn't release them all,
and he doesn't consult you about which ones to release.
No, they all actually sit on my
computer until he says, hey, you got
that Philadelphia show?
Let it rip. Go, which one?
And then he goes, I don't remember. Then what happens?
Nothing.
Literally nothing happens. Never put it out.
Existence stops after that.
So the poor people in Philadelphia.
Well, this show here, I guarantee
you, not only will it be
on the internet uh it will be there very soon within within a day or two i hope
so you mail it you have to mail it to itunes it's gonna take its guts pretty fast
i happen to know a guy over at the pony express oh and Oh! And he's going to hook me up. Yeah, no, I put mine out right after they happened
because I don't want that confusion of, like, you know...
Because if I put out one that was from three months ago,
people will tweet at me,
what the fuck were you talking about?
I'll be like, I don't know, man.
If it was yesterday, I might know.
That's still stretching it.
Why were you so excited about the Avengers coming out soon?
Yeah, that's the other thing.
Topical things do come up on podcasts,
so it's weird to sit on an episode
for several months before releasing it.
But that's the way he wants to play it.
That's his business.
I do it differently.
But the exciting news from Matt Myra
is all this week, he's going to be
co-hosting with Candice, right?
Candice Bailey is going to be there.
Candice for two days, Grace Helbig for one day, and then I think Sarah the day after that.
Oh, okay.
Attack of the show.
Attack of the show.
He's going to co-host it all this week, which is another reason we've got to get this podcast out fast
so people can hear that on the podcast and then watch you on that program.
What's going on with you?
Jonah Ray is here too, everybody.
Hey.
Also a nerdist.
Of it.
What?
Vajona.
I don't know what Vajona means.
It sounds like he's saying you might have a vagina.
No.
Or that's what he calls his vagina.
Everyone's trying to put that nickname on me
and you can't choose your own nickname, so I chose it. Or that's what he calls his vagina. Everyone's trying to put that nickname on me.
You can't choose your own nickname, so I chose it.
I'm hoping I make it so uncool that people stop calling me that.
We can't call you Vagona anymore? I love it.
Please, I started introducing myself as Vagona Ray.
Hoping that everyone would go, I don't know, it's not the same.
A nickname's not supposed to be too nice.
It's Vajona now, Dad.
Sorry, it's just the way it has to be right now.
All right, let's go to Jimmy with the question
that I usually don't ask,
because we usually don't have time,
but I'm going to get to it tonight, damn it.
Do you have a favorite motion picture
or one that you like a lot?
Back to the Future.
It's my favorite movie.
Yeah.
No need to apologize there.
It'd be weird if part two was your favorite movie.
And it'd be really bad if it was part three.
I like part three. I like part three.
I like three better than two.
Don't you?
No.
Why is that?
Hey, there is a hoverboard in part three.
Don't forget that.
It's the same hoverboard, as a matter of fact.
Should have held on to that.
Was it a pit bull?
Yeah, the pit bull.
I'm mad at part two because of that weird
Crispin Glover lookalike.
Oh, I threw my back out on the golf course again.
Well, you're right.
You're right.
That line is said between Matt and I
more than hello.
Hello.
You two need to be separated.
You just have one mind now.
We're always so good at finishing each other's
sandwiches.
One of you finishes the other ones
more often than the other one.
We're going to be honest.
Because Jonah's really tall.
He has a lot of room for sandwiches.
A lot of room for sammies.
Sammies, fuck you.
And Rachel Ray.
She calls it the sammy and I can't stand it.
Their raspy voice
God
Yeah
She's here
The ladies agree
Jimmy Chews
For the listeners
We should clear this up
In case I don't
Run the
Leonard Maltin game
From the earlier show
As a mini episode
But
There was ranch dressing
on Jimmy's shirt.
And Jonah just
called him out for having jizz on his shirt.
And it was
very, very uncomfortable.
It was fucking weird.
It was ranch. There was so much ranch.
I can say it was big enough
you could call it a dollop.
Yeah.
Dollop of ranch.
He had every right.
Were you eating a chicken wing and then leaning back
while you chew it?
This chicken wing's
got too much ranch on it.
Do you have, Matt, do you have a favorite movie? I do. My favorite movie is Jaws.
Oh, that's a great one.
I like Jaws 2 a little better, but...
But I do like the fact there's a hoverboard in Jaws 3.
Yeah.
Might as well be And Jonah do you have one?
Yeah it's the movie Ed Wood
Ed Wood interesting choice
Very few people agree
It's a lot of people haven't seen it
It's a great movie
You should see it
It's my favorite
Tim Burton movie. That's my favorite Tim Burton movie.
Batman!
Batman!
Batman?
Oh, Batman.
I like Batman Returns a bit.
Don't yell things at me.
I will not understand what they are.
So why bother?
Do-be-doos, Batman!
I don't want any spoilers for the new Batman
because some of you still haven't seen it,
but I will say...
Shut up.
I will say...
Oh, fuck.
You're fucking serious.
I was going to say he wears a nice pair of Jimmy Choo's, but...
Oh, man.
Yo, Batman, that's your juice.
Oh, yeah, Ed Wood.
I was going to ask you again.
If you haven't seen it, you should.
It's an amazing movie.
Did the guy who played Bela Lugosi,
Martin Landau, did he win the Oscar for that?
Yes, he did win the Best Supporting Role.
And then the makeup one that year too as well.
We got sarcasm in the as well. Oh. We got
sarcasm in the front row.
Interesting.
Because movies, you know, it's a small part
of movie making. Makeup.
Fuck. Oh, beer.
We both had too many
shots last night. Yeah. Dallas is a
friendly place. Yeah.
I don't like shots. No, me neither. Yeah. Dallas is a friendly place. Yeah. I don't like shots.
No, me neither. Yeah.
Let's do them. Yeah!
Let's just
keep doing them. So because of the
technical delays at the beginning, I have absolutely
no idea what time we really started.
So this thing might
be like an incredibly short show or a
really long one. I don't know what's going to happen.
I'm so tired of trying to do my act and having people yelling long one at me while I'm on stage.
Please, just, you know, keep it to yourselves.
I appreciate that you noticed.
Have you been to the movies lately,
Jimmy Jizz Thomason?
Yeah, I saw
The Dark Knight Saturday
and Brave about a week or two ago.
Did you see The Dark Knight or The Dark Knight Rises?
Dark Knight Rises.
You really got him on a technicality.
Everyone thought
he was talking about the last movie.
They showed all three. They did. Did anybody go see all three in one day? Everyone thought he was talking about the last movie The second one
They did
Did anybody go see all three in one day?
That's pretty cool
Wow
Without giving anything away
Did it make the third one
Do you think that made it even better
Seeing the first two right in front of it?
Because that's a lot of movie
That's like nine hours of a guy going
I need a lozenge.
Give me the chimichurri.
Where's the goddamn lozenge in this town?
This town has gone to hell
with its lack of lozenges.
Now, I haven't seen it, Doug, and you have,
but does Morgan Freeman finally go,
Bruce, I know it's you.
You don't have to use the voice.
You could stop that.
He acts like himself in front of
Lucius? No, when he's wearing
the cowl in the second movie,
he just is fucking screaming at
Lucius. That's like when
the guy who plays House in between takes,
he still has an American accent because he doesn't
want to, he doesn't want to
accidentally have his English accent
slip out. So understand Lucius.
So Batman has to do the same thing.
I always thought it would be funny to see a scene...
Lucius, how's the family?
I thought it would be funny to have a scene
where he's got the thing off,
the cowls off, but he's still got
the raccoon eyes
just standing around talking to people.
Have you ever watched Pete Holmes does
Batman, like the sketches where he's just playing Batman
and he's just really dumb.
They're great. You've got to check them out.
But there's a thing where he's trying to make it
like he's not Bruce Wayne and he takes off the mask
and he has the raccoon eyes around.
Nice. I like it.
The helicopter.
But I'm very happy that neither of you
have seen Dark Knight Rises.
Because you would spoil some shit. I almost am gonna. Do you want us to guess what? But I'm very happy that neither of you have seen Dark Knight Rises. Yeah, because we would probably spoil it for everyone.
Because you would spoil some shit.
I almost am going to.
Do you want us to guess what happens?
You sound like you're about to throw up.
I'm good.
I'm good.
I'm going to either throw up or spoil Batman.
I'm not sure what's coming up right now.
No, he does.
It could be that.
Catwoman helps.
She steals stuff off of rich people.
What are you like when you're sick?
That's what I do.
I just spoiled Batman.
I like your fake vomiting spoilers.
It's a fun thing.
So what have you seen lately, Matt?
What is the last movie I saw in the theater?
We just asked you that.
Yeah, we want you to tell us.
I think the last thing I saw was Snow White and the Huntsman.
The next thing I'm going to see is Step Up Revolution.
Hello!
Occupy.
Occupy Miami Beach.
You just got to do it.
I'm pretty sure there's a point in that movie where it's like,
dancing is so much more than dancing
Yep
When they say it, I will
Drink some Diet Coke
And shake my head
Gonna be a lot of dubstep
I'm looking forward to it
Have you seen anything lately, Jonah?
I watched
Take This Waltz, the new Sarah Polly movie
I'm still kind of obsessed with it.
She directed it?
She wrote and directed it.
It starred Michelle Williams,
Sarah Silverman, and Seth Rogen.
If you want to question any relationship
you've ever been in,
watch that movie
and fucking just hate your girlfriend.
And women in general.
It's like a romantic thriller
where it's like a suspense movie where it's like the whole time she's like a romantic thriller Where it's like a suspense movie
Where it's like the whole time
She's like
Michelle Williams is married to Seth Rogen
But she starts kind of
Getting attracted to some other guy
And they hang out but they don't really do anything
So the whole movie
It's like you're fucking like
Don't go in that room with him
Don't touch him
Seth is just busy right now
Give him a break
Look out, he might stab you with his penis
It's a romantic horror film
Watch out
You have not
He has an awful nice house for a guy though
That has a rickshaw business
With just one rickshaw that he runs people around in
That's the quirkiest thing you could
That just screams any movie And then his job is he's a rickshaw that he runs people around in. Yeah, that's the quirkiest thing you could do.
That just screams any movie.
And then his job is he's a rickshaw guy.
How quaint!
It's a great movie if you like on-screen nudity
with people that should never take their clothes off
off-screen, like ever.
There's a ladies' shower scene that's very disturbing.
Yeah, you get to see like three
hot ladies naked and then they turn the camera
and then it's not the same.
It's like three Kathy Bateses.
Yes.
It's like about Schmidt times three.
That's the name of your children's book,
Three Kathy Bateses.
Three Kathy Bateses.
One day,
Three Kathy Bateses. Yeah, three Kathy Bateses. One day, three Kathy Bateses.
Bateses.
This is terrible.
That's no fun at all.
I was going to go see
Beasts of the Southern Wild today.
Has anybody seen that?
Yeah, and it's good, right?
Yeah, I heard good things about it.
Yeah, it's good.
But I had some shots last night.
Yeah.
And I was like,
I don't know if I want to watch a movie about
Is it about Katrina
Or a Katrina-esque thing
They allude to it
How was that hurricane
It was Katrina-esque
It was a little derivative of Katrina
Had some Andrew influences on it for sure
High pressure system
moved in.
The government
moved out.
Whoa,
let's get into it.
All right.
Huh?
Are you talking to
what's your favorite
hurricane?
Denzel Washington
as the hurricane.
Denzel Washington as the hurricane You're welcome
How does he do it?
So busy not being enjoyed by everyone
That I think of things
I didn't load it into the phone for tonight
But somebody on Twitter suggested
that I do a category called
Dunzo Washington.
And that's movies where
Denzel Washington gets killed.
So look for that in the future.
Malcolm X. If I remember to do it.
That would be one, yes.
What else does he get killed in?
You do remember how the game works, though, later.
Don't just say the first movie that comes into your head
when I mention the category.
You're sure?
Yeah.
Okay.
What was it you did that one time on the show
that was one of the biggest game blunders ever?
The movie was The Shining.
I forget what the category was,
but I was second.
Hardwick was to my right.
You said it's in 12 names, and then Chris said,
I guess I'll name it in 12, and then I go, name that movie.
How can you? All 12 names of The Shining.
It's just like such obscure Jack Nicholson shit at the top there.
Yeah,
I think the category
was like Stephen King movies.
So it's like
extra.
But you've done much better
in your return appearances.
Yeah.
Yeah,
so you've got it
figured out now.
I think so.
Which leads me to ask,
does anyone hunger for games?
I decided to use Dallas to introduce a new game oh I love how excited everybody got yeah Oh another hard to understand how much more
convoluted will this one be?
No, this one's not convoluted at all.
It's pretty simple.
The game is called How Much Did This Shit Make?
Where I take a movie that may not necessarily be my cup of tea,
but it could have been a big hit,
could have been a small hit,
could have been a complete failure.
Domestic or worldwide?
Domestic.
Okay. Yeah, yeah.
Oh, that changes it all for me.
Different ball game.
Yes, this is according, the figures
are according to Box Office Mojo.
And I'm going
to tell you guys the name of a movie.
And we'll start with
Jimmy on the other end there.
Jimmy Choo!
And his new nickname.
You're very pale for a guy
who lives in Texas.
Yeah, I don't...
The sun is not...
He said graphic designer.
That should have been your clue.
Fair enough.
Why aren't you working on your computer
out at the pool?
When you're sunbathing...
Well, don't you draw sketches first?
Just do that outside
That sounds fun right
No no
I love that you
Yeah
From California
Yeah
Who was similarly
Of the similar pallor to him
Oh look at that
For the listeners
He just showed us his dick
I will take that audible reaction.
I will accept that.
Your dick is much paler than the rest of you.
Thank you.
I am the opposite of John Mayer.
He famously
said that his dick was Dominican
at a comedy club back when he tried comedy.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
So how much did this shit make?
I'll say the name of the movie,
and you have to guess how much it made
at the domestic box office during its entire run without going over.
It's just like Price is Right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Can someone bid a dollar similar to Price is Right?
One of you could do that.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah.
All right.
And as in all of my games, it's best not to say the strategy out loud.
Well, I mean, it's the first time this game's being
played, Doug. I just wanted to establish that that is something
that could be done.
Did you hear a harmonica? I did, yes.
It sounded like Piano Man was going to start.
There was just a
little harmonica noise.
It was very quick, though.
There it goes again.
I bet it's someone's necklace.
It is, isn't it?
Oh, you know, it's so weird.
She's one of the only people I've met with these,
but I've heard about them.
The rape harmonica.
I hear the
blues. Someone's in trouble.
Red had one in
Shawshank.
Get the hell off of me.
No, no, no, no.
Please somebody help.
No, no, no, no.
Fire!
Okay. Just want to prove some rape jokes are funny okay so the movie is called, and please, audience, no helping.
It's called My Big Fat Greek Wedding.
How much money did that shit make? Produced by Tom Hanks.
Independent film starring Nia Vardalos.
Also produced by Rita Wilson.
And Rita Wilson helped out.
Most successful independent movie
of all time.
How much,
now see that's again,
you're playing against your,
do you need people
to think you're smart
that bad
that you'll fuck up
your chances at the game?
How great.
There's some girl
in the back going,
did you hear how much
she knows about
My Big Fat Great Wedding?
Someone's getting
their dick sucked tonight.
Did you hear that?
Did you hear that?
Not me.
Do you have a guess, Jimmy, or a number?
$120 million.
Okay.
I go to Matt, shaking his head.
$256.
$256?
A million.
He says $256 million.
You were $120, right?
Yeah.
Sure. I don't120 million. Right? Yeah. Sure.
I don't know.
And Jonah?
I'll go $300 million.
$300 million for Jonah.
$120 for Jimmy.
It did really well.
It was in theaters for a very long time.
It was.
$120 for Jimmy.
And Matt said $260 million.
$256 million.
$256 million.
Matt said $2.60?
$2.56.
$2.56.
That would be the dumb thing you know for some reason.
We were driving the other day,
and he was just looking up how much businesses we were passing make in a year.
Do you want to know how much Cracker Barrel
grossed last year?
Does anyone want to know that?
Their revenue for last
year is $2.8 billion.
Go hate yourselves.
That's a lot of crackers.
Most of everybody's in barrels now.
Is that on the menu? Crackers?
When you go to Cracker Barrel?
The cheese.
I don't go there. I got a figure to worry about that's
whoever I would be eating with my big fat green wedding made 241 million
dollars you guys went over Jimmy's our winner You're the next contestant on The Price is Right
I was accounting for DVD sales
Wait, I don't think it was
The only way my day could get better
Is if you wheeled out the Plinko board right now
Did you ever see that episode
Where Snoop Dogg helped that lady
Win a bunch of money on Plinko
Look it up on YouTube, it's fucking win a bunch of money on Plinko? No, but I will YouTube that later.
It's fucking great. Is he really good
at Plinko? Yeah. He has
a lady drop one down and he watches
where it goes and then he says,
no, no, no. Okay, now put
it here and then $10,000.
Wow.
Yeah, but if it went somewhere else, he would have
gone, okay, now put it here.
Yeah, but Doug, the fact is it didn't.
That's what confidence will get you.
Snoop danced, and it was great.
He did a little dance. He did a little happy dance.
Look out!
Snoop Dogg, the rapiteer, he danced.
That guy barely moves most of the time.
I know.
I would love to see him do a dance.
Tune in to YouTube.
I'd like to just see a video of Snoop Dogg in a hurry.
I just want to see what that looks like.
I think I know
what it looks like.
That's why he can't ever hurry
in front of everybody because he just becomes the
dorkiest guy in the world.
Yo, I gotta get home.
Well, this party ain't over
until six in the morning.
You guys want to play ABC Deez Nuts?
You get to go first, Jimmy.
You know how it's played?
Yeah.
Letter A.
A clockwork orange.
Whoa.
Impressive.
Yeah.
Matt, what did I just say?
B. Beethoven's second.
Always showing off.
You couldn't just say Beethoven.
Yeah.
Okay, remember that these count.
So you can't say a movie that's the...
Like if it's G, you can't say The Godfather.
And then get mad at me when I say no, that doesn't count.
Okay.
So you're on C.
Chinatown.
Doug?
Yes.
Nice.
Dog Day Afternoon.
Mm-hmm.
End of Days.
Fargo.
I thought you were going to say Fart Something.
Fart. The something. Fart.
The movie.
Fart 3D.
Spoiler alert.
Jimmy G.
Part 2.
The shitting. Shitting.
Wait, what?
You're laughing so hard at that.
Fart 2, the shitting?
Yeah Because of number 2
It's just the next progression of a fart
When you take a number 2, it's shit
How about, it's got layers, Doug
Fart 3, back in business
Fart 4, the voyage home?
No, that doesn't make sense
Fart 5, the search for Curly's gold No, that doesn't make sense.
Part five, the search for Curly's gold.
Part six, mission to Moscow.
What?
I don't know.
Okay.
What are we at? L.
G.
Goodfellas.
Goodfellas, nice.
Help.
You have to play on your own.
I can't assist you.
I need a movie that begins with H.
Help.
Nope.
Why does help not...
No, it's the fucking Beatles movie from 1966, you assholes.
The help.
I forget how old these people are.
Did I come on the Nerdist podcast and call the audience assholes?
Actually, I think you did a couple times.
Because I was thinking it.
I think Jonah takes care of that on the Nerdist.
Yeah.
Aye.
Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye.
Indecent proposal.
Oh.
Okay.
Jack.
King Kong.
Oh, you still have a little Jack on your shirt?
The moment I said it, I knew that was coming from one of you two.
All right, King Kong.
Which one?
Wait, Help might have been out in 65.
Sorry.
Anyway, go ahead.
Yeah, Help was in the 60s.
So that's why everyone here was like, that's not a movie.
I wasn't born yet.
Okay, so King Kong and then Land Before Time.
Part three. yet. Okay, so King Kong and then... Land Before Time. Part 3!
They're both not high, you guys.
They're just high on their own
humor.
Where are we at now?
Memento? Memento. Nolan. Mel. Chicka-Pay. own humor where we are now in a mental memento no no no chick a pay what do you
think hey chick a pay while better way
shocker con oh that's right.
Every time someone's struggling with oh,
I just sit there going, oh, oh, oh.
And they never catch on and say oh. But you did it.
Good for you.
I really did.
Pretty in pink.
Q to Matt.
Come on, you can do it.
Q. Q. Matt. Come on, you can do it. Q.
Q.
Q.
That's correct.
There's a movie called Q.
R.
RoboCop.
Three.
Three.
That's the one that broke RoboCop.
Stripes. Stripes.
Good one.
The Godfather.
Yeah, that's correct.
You.
Underworld.
You.
Underworld.
Which one?
The first one.
They have the vaguest subtitles
Underworld, Awakenings
Underworld, What's Up
What's Up is down
Underworld
V
V for Vendetta
Sure
W
Fuck
Willow Fuck Willow.
Fuck.
Willow.
And then the dreaded X.
There's seven titles.
There's so many that might have come out last year, even one.
Why are you helping him?
He's my friend.
Don't touch the other guy's shirt like that.
How come I can't think of anything with X?
Because you're out Xanadu
Jimmy
Come on, let him back in the game Thanks, sir Oh, somebody in the audience wants him back in the game.
Thanks, sir.
Oh, somebody in the audience wants him back in the game.
Oh, I see. We let him go.
Why?
Yellow submarine.
Let me check with the Beatles deniers.
Zoolander.
Yep.
All right, now don't hold your horses.
Oh.
Because now we're going into the next round,
and the rules change.
Oh.
You said that wasn't part of the deal, Benson.
I wasn't supposed to go down like this, man.
Okay, you get to do an A movie,
but this round, every title has to begin with
the. Oh. Oh, okay.
But then use the letter that's
on you. So you
need the. Avengers.
The Avengers?
Okay.
The Big Lebowski.
Uh.
No, that's
if it's okay. Do it too. The Cooler. It's okay.
Do it too.
The cooler.
Mm-hmm.
People are really impressive.
The D.
You love the D.
It doesn't have a the in front of it. It doesn't have a the in front of it.
Boo!
Boo!
Hey, you guys, I like that movie.
In case it didn't get picked up on the mics,
a gentleman in the audience yelled out,
Dark Knight.
I said mine when everyone was booing.
I guess no one heard it. You can go.
And all that fanfare just kind of got lost in there.
What was it again?
Oh.
The.
The.
The.
Xanadu.
Xanadu.
Okay, now you're out.
You still get D, Jimmy.
The Day After Tomorrow.
Mm-hmm.
It's not that good.
E. E to not that good. The
I can't think of one either.
Wait, hang on.
Come on, man!
Jimmy Choo would do it!
Jimmy Choo would do it! Jimmy Choo can do anything!
I gotta call it, man.
No, Jimmy!
The End of Times.
That sounds like a movie.
Look it up.
It was the Blurst of Times.
You're out.
Jimmy's our winner again.
Oh, fuck it, hey!
You're out Jimmy's our winner again
Oh fuck it hey
Do you have any
Could you think of an E one
The Expendables
What
The Expendables
The Expendables
Was that what that guy
Was fucking over
And the Expendables 2 also
Yes
Is out soon
Yeah
Jimmy you are dominating Our games here today 2 also. Yes. Is out soon. Yeah.
Jimmy, you are dominating our games
here today.
Very good guess.
I guess that's what
happens when you
don't go in the sun.
All right.
So let me
quick reminder.
Don't have that face.
Quick reminder.
Don't yell out any answers anymore.
I don't know how else to say it.
I think you did a pretty good job just saying it.
We could throw that guy out, but you know.
Oh, let's do that.
Fuck it, right?
It's not us.
I don't even know.
I don't even know who it was.
It might have been, you know,
it might have been Jeff Dunham throwing his voice.
Don't throw that puppet out.
From Las Vegas. It wasn't the
puppet talking. It was Jeff.
Have you seen that comedian that has
all those talking puppets?
They really talk. He just stands there.
I know why they call him a jerk because he's more of a magician
making those puppets talk like that.
I don't know if it's
a magical power or if he made a
deal with the devil.
Oh.
You know what?
Seriously, if one of you guys,
if you were in a lineup
and I had to say which one was the murderer,
I'd be like,
they're all too similar.
Yeah. Oh, he lost the glasses.
Now he's such an individual.
Okay, so let's play Build a Title.
Build a Title.
We've got some good suggestions from people on the internet for titles.
And again, Jimmy's still our winner, so we'll start with Jimmy.
Stop fucking showing off, Jimmy.
And this time we'll go to you, Jonah.
We'll go to you second.
And Jimmy, oh, that reminds me.
Since we started a little late, are you going to have to...
I have no idea.
Because Matt's racing to catch a flight out of here tonight.
What time is your flight at?
10.50. Really what I have to catch a flight out of here tonight. What time is your flight at? 10.50.
Really what I have to catch is the cab.
What time do you guys professionally think he needs to...
Professionally.
Which airline, really?
American Airlines DFW.
10 o'clock?
Hey, hey, hey, everybody at once, please.
Hang on.
You've been drinking since at least 420.
Yeah, she wasn't at the earlier show.
All right, you say 930 is when I have to be there?
We got 10.
We got 10 over here.
We got 930.
930, 930, 930.
10, we got 10, 10 over here.
We got one, we got one.
One?
Here's what's happening.
10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10. If he's got to be there, he should be there at 10. Here we go. One dollar. One dollar.
If he's got to be there, he should be there at 10.
There's a cab that's supposed to be coming
at 9 o'clock.
You can wait. Tell Jimmy Choo about it.
Listen, if the cab leaves and if anyone wants to make
a quick $56
that hasn't been drinking...
You guys are that excited about taking him to the airport? that hasn't been drinking.
You guys are that excited about taking him to the airport?
I've done it.
It's not very fun.
It wasn't a dream come true?
No, it was quite the opposite.
You weren't amongst other people going,
pick me, pick me.
All right, well, so we'll go out there
and see if it's there still.
Yeah, it'll be fun.
Or we can tell the club management to ask them to wait.
I mean, I don't even know where it would pull up to here.
Neither do I.
It has the address, which is out that way.
Yeah, the address is like out on the street.
We're like tucked back in a corner.
Wow, this is the most interesting part of the night so far.
Listen, three men trying to figure out a trip to the airport.
Thank you, Jonah. It's like real life, just as boring. It's three men trying to figure out a trip to the airport Thank you, Jonah
It's like real life, just as boring
Three men in the audience
I will watch that movie, three men in an audience
How are we going to take care of this audience?
Gutenberg can still be in it
Then that ghost is in the background
but then you realize it's a cardboard cutout of Ted Danson
You don't realize that.
You were told that.
By the DVD.
Is that when you were told something?
Oh, I realized something today.
I was watching the news and I realized
that there's rain coming.
Whenever I watch a movie with a commentary on it,
I pretend it's just ghosts talking about movies.
Just telling us about making the movie from beyond.
All right, so we'll go to about 9.05,
and you'll run out there,
and if there's no cab around,
then somebody will give you a ride.
Because as long as you're...
All right.
You got it.
As long as he's in a car by like 20 after,
he can get to the airport by about 10, right?
Yeah.
Good.
So it's settled then.
Let's continue.
Wait, wait, this guy's got another idea.
What does that train go to?
Should I take it?
No.
Okay.
That's a fucking violent reaction towards the transit system.
No, I think they just know you'd never get there on time.
Because it makes stops and whatnot.
The freeway is a little
brisker, usually.
This should really be a regular bit on your show, Doug.
Alright, Jimmy
Jizz Face.
Remember when Jimmy Jizz Face
was cool? Fuck that guy, I'm so
over it.
I don't want to discourage him.
That was funny.
Hang on.
I got to remind my wife.
Have me unsubscribe Nerdist tonight.
You're acting like that affects me.
I really would like to see you guys wrestle That only affects Chris Hartwick and his subsidiaries
Legendary pictures
Okay, so we're going to start with you, Jimmy
And the first title is
As suggested by Smith Noah on Twitter Oh don't know and really yeah I do oh
we're that girl in the back is he knows Noah Smith he knows a bunch about my big
factory wedding Oh God what several other people suggested this because of
where you know where we are tonight. The starter title is
North Dallas 40.
So you need
something that ends with
North or begins with
40? North Dallas
40 first dates.
No, no, no.
It was
20 first dates, wasn't it?
50.
50?
I will go
It's North Dallas 40 days and nights
I thought it was 20 dates
Because I had to leave early
Because I needed to get to the airport
Alright, so
You're just out this round
You'll be back
Wait, why?
How does that still count?
Oh, it still works, but you've got to say the right title.
I mean, you know, come on.
He just made up a title.
Can't just throw out any number.
If earlier he had said 50 Clockwork Oranges, I would have said no.
It's a Clockwork Orange.
It's just the one.
Okay, so what did you say, Matt?
I said North Dallas
40 Days and 40 Nights.
Okay, North Dallas.
Oh, ghost!
Tell me about this movie
and how it was made.
What is this ghost here to tell us about Ted Danson?
Who was in
40 Days and 40 Nights? Is that that Josh Hartnett thing?
Where he didn't jerk off that whole time?
No, he just didn't get laid.
He was so good at getting laid
that he decided to stop for 40 days.
Let me not come for a while.
I think that was the premise of the movie.
Let me not come for a while?
Let me not come for a while.
I would have seen that.
So it was Shakespeare.
Ian McKellen.
Okay, Jonah, what can you do with that?
40 days and 40 nights.
Eastdale's 40 days
and 40 nights
in Rodanthe.
Wow.
Nights in Rodanthe
Yeah
That's a good one
Yeah
If you're over 75
You know that movie
Wait so okay
Okay so
Then we go back to Matt
North Dallas
40 days and 40 nights
Of Rodanthe
Expendables
I don't care for that one.
I don't like that one at all.
Because we dropped the thes, you know, in this game.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, try something else.
I wasn't aware of that.
But that was clever of you.
North Dallas, 40 days and 40 nights of Rodan.
Theo Huxtable is my favorite.
No one disagrees, Matt, but finish the thing.
40 days and 40 nights of Rodan.
Wait, you're going to just go back to the beginning again?
That's a good stall tactic. All right, you're going to just go back to the beginning again? That's a good stall tactic.
Alright, you're out.
Jonah wins.
Jonah won the first round. Good job, Jonah.
Jonah.
I had one, too.
True North.
Oh, okay.
Sure, you could have gone on the North.
Mr. North was a North movie. Just the movie North starring Elijah Wood? You can't do that, okay Sure, yeah, you could have gone on the North Mr. North was a North movie
Just the movie North, starring Elijah Wood
You can't do that, of course
Because you're not building anything
You're just looking at something that's already there
Yeah
At Katsup Mania
Yeah, Katsup
I don't know them
You know, like ketchup, but the way it's supposed to be spelled
Mania That's his name on Twitter, Katsup Mania Sounds like real Katsup. I don't know them. You know, like ketchup, but the way it's supposed to be spelled? Mania.
That's his name on Twitter, Katsup Mania.
Sounds like real Katsup Mania.
And also Agnes Nutter and a few other people.
A lot of people suggested this movie,
and it's called Midnight in the Garden.
Let's see, who do we start with?
Jonah got the points.
We'll start with Matt and then go to Jimmy.
Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil. Something that begins with evil. to Jimmy. Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil.
Something that begins with evil.
Permanent midnight in the Garden
of Good and Evil.
Permanent midnight.
So now we go to Jimmy.
What did you say?
Permanent midnight in the Garden
of Good and Evil.
Dead.
Evil dead. Nice.
I was thinking it would be fun to go
Evilusionist.
Evilusionist.
Okay, so we've got to Jonah.
Permanent Midnight in the Garden of Good
and Evil Dead.
Permanent Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil
Dead or Alive.
No one's impressed.
What do you mean, all right?
We'll let it slide, but next time around...
Next time around, impress us.
All right.
So we're back to...
It is a movie, and it works in the game.
So I can't just refer to the movie alive
because that's what you did earlier. I didn't do it, I just pointed it out. Yeah, you pointed it out. Can't do that. I can't just refer to the movie alive because that's what you did earlier.
I didn't do it.
I just pointed it out.
Yeah, you pointed it out.
Okay.
Can't do that.
I wouldn't do it.
Permanent...
Permanent midnight
in the garden of good and evil,
dead or alive.
Mar Burton.
Yeah, once again, you just kind of derailed
to talk about someone that you know.
Alive LeVar Burton?
LeVar
You have an interesting way of playing the game.
Dead or
live from Shea Stadium. Billy Joel.
I'm throwing you out
not just of this round,
but the rest of it.
Go get in your fucking cab.
You're so proud of yourself.
Well, I mean, it's a movie.
Do you have anything, Jimmy,
to add to that? Permanent?
Something that ends in perm?
My pretty pony, pony's first perm?
Permanent, midnight, or alive?
Do you have anything that begins with alive or live?
I don't think I have one for either.
What about Joel?
Wow, you guys are letting Jonah run away with this one.
Because didn't you?
You're our winner again.
Yep.
Yeah.
Not according to that asshole over there.
I could have done just Dead Alive.
Yeah.
There's lots of things that begin with dead.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's it.
So you did good.
You picked the right one.
As suggested by, and this next round we'll start with...
Jimmy.
Jimmy.
You want to start with Jimmy?
Sure.
Sure.
All right.
And then we'll go to Matt.
Here we go.
At eat drink poop pee suggested...
Yeah, that's the guy's Twitter handle. Eat drink poop pee. At eat, drink, poop, pee suggested.
Yeah, that's the guy's Twitter handle.
Eat, drink, poop, pee.
It's kind of like the first Twitter name that's a to-do list.
That was the scat version of eat, drink, pray, love.
Now this time you've got to come up with something that ends with dead, because the suggestion was
the movie Dead Man.
So what can you do with that, Jimmy?
Dead Man on a ledge.
Okay.
I saw that on a plane,
and I wanted to go out
on the wing.
Uh... Dead Man on a Legend.
Oh, Tim Curry.
All right, you can play again.
You're back in.
All right, Legend.
Dead Man on a Legend.
Return of the Living Dead.
Man on a Legend. Okay. All Living Dead Man on a legend.
Okay.
That'll allow it.
You guys just hate the movies.
Return.
Okay.
You get to go again, Jimmy,
with Return of the Living Dead Man on a legend.
Legends of the Fall.
No, wait.
No.
No, wait. Why doesn't it Fall. No, wait. No. No, wait, that's...
Why doesn't it work?
Oh, wait.
Wait.
Oh, I got it.
Legends of the Fall, yeah.
Jimmy Choo!
Choo!
Choo!
Choo!
Choo!
Choo!
Choo!
Choo!
Choo!
Choo!
Choo!
Choo!
Choo!
Choo!
Choo!
Choo!
Choo!
Choo!
Choo!
Choo!
Choo!
Choo!
Choo!
Choo!
Choo!
Choo! Choo! Choo! Choo! Choo! Choo! Choo! Choo! Choo! Choo! Choo! Choo! Choo! Choo! Choo! Choo! Choo! Choo! Choo! Choo! Choo! Choo! Choo! Choo! Choo! Choo! Choo! Choo! Choo! Choo! Choo! Choo!! Choo! Choo! Choo! Choo! Choo! Choo! I'm a man on a ledge and a ledge and a ledge and a ledge and a ledge and a ledge and a ledge and a ledge and a ledge and a ledge and a ledge and a ledge and a ledge and a ledge and a ledge and a ledge and a ledge and a ledge and a ledge and a ledge and a ledge and a Two.
Okay, Matt, you need something that ends with return or begins with fall.
Oh, I got one.
I got one.
Ends in dead?
Wait, ends in dead?
No.
No. Wait, say it again. Has to end with return. End of return dead? No. Say it again.
Has to end with return.
End of return.
What?
Zephyr.
Nothing.
Billy Joel?
Billy Joel? Billy Joel Returns?
Billy Joel Returns.
Where can I see that?
All right, you're out.
All right.
Jonah, what do you got?
It's a...
Return of the Living Dead Man on a Ledge End of the Fall.
Legends of the Fall.
Of the falling down.
Yes.
Yeah, that one?
Yeah, they like that one.
All right, Jimmy.
You got something that begins with down
or ends with return, Jimmy?
Yes.
Okay, let us hear it.
Jimmy Choo it meticulous
no I have not
tempted to Graham Elwood something
we get a whistle and
no that's where
he always just
he just says a phrase that people say
and hopes that a movie was made
called that.
You know, like Downtown, the movie.
Downtown.
Matt's looking it up.
I don't think there's a movie called Downtown.
No, I'm looking at the fact that a taxi
was just dispatched.
That doesn't count either.
Can you write back to them?
I don't know, let's see.
Dispatch slower.
When you get to Mockingbird Lane,
chill out and have a taco.
And then we'll go to the airport.
And when we do go, I'll be in a big hurry.
Did you type all that?
Yep.
Okay, so you got nothing, Jimmy?
No, I got one.
Just going to be rubbing it in because you're just unbeatable in this game.
Falling down and out in Beverly Hills.
I have eyes.
Heels have eyes.
All right, well, I keep playing normally,
but there's no way these guys can catch up to you
because you've got three points.
Good job, Jonah.
Yeah.
I should have loaded this one earlier in the show
because there's somebody in attendance tonight, I think,
that suggested something.
Is Amber Peace here somewhere?
Woo!
There she is.
Hi, Amber.
Sorry we didn't get to your suggestion, but I'll push it into
another show.
You're welcome.
She goes, okay, awesome, and I go, you're welcome.
Doesn't even make sense.
Alright, so Jonah's our big winner,
so he gets to go first in
the granddaddy of all the games.
Let's play the Leonard Maltin game.
Let's see those name tags.
Oh, a sword.
I know who I want.
I can't believe they let you in with that.
Those are amazing.
I saw those.
You guys are a couple?
Yeah.
Are you sure?
Okay.
Kudos to the name tags, you guys.
Oh, Matt's on the phone with the cab driver.
He's a little busy right now.
Tell them, Jimmy Choo, to pick up Lake.
Jimmy Choo said.
Yeah, Jimmy, go pick from somebody.
Yeah, go take it from them.
Yeah.
You too, Jonah. I'm doing it.
You too, Jonah.
Look at these.
That's a nice one.
Are these...
Is Honey a porno?
Yeah.
Oh, no.
So that's her name, Jenna, right there.
Oh, and she wrote a shithead on the back,
so don't say that out loud.
And it's really...
It's on two VHS tapes,
and then each letter is a different...
VHS box.
Jurassic Park.
Some shitty Kate Hudson movie.
Legally Blonde.
Legally Blonde.
Oh, that's the sequel.
That's the sequel.
Which one?
What is this one, though?
The E.
Fool's Gold. Fool's Gold? No, is this one, though? The E.
Fool's Gold?
No, from the... So something about Runaway Bride on there.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Miracle. That came up recently.
I just... I don't have the sword.
I don't care
for Blazer Disc part.
No.
I thought each one was the letter of...
You know, the movie started with each letter,
but I guess not.
But it's a cool name tag, though.
It's on Legally Blonde 2, Red, White, and Blonde.
And Matt picked a sword that has Skittles attached to it.
Yep.
And does it have a shithead written on there already?
On the back, so don't read that out loud.
And what's his name, though?
What's the guy with the sword's name?
Chancellor. That's really your name with the sword's name? Chancellor.
That's really your name?
Your name's Chancellor?
Wow.
And he wrote Chancellor of the Rings on the sword.
Chancellor Lord of the Rings.
All right, buddy.
The game's over.
All right.
We're good.
We're good.
I took this because during the show,
his lady friend was suggestively grabbing the hilt.
And I saw it.
And you're embarrassed.
That's the one that wants to take it to the airport.
Yeah.
I don't know what we're in for, but I'm down.
She was...
She was grabbing what?
The sword handle here, the hilt.
Oh, the hilt?
Oh, the sword handle.
Yeah, this is the hilt. Oh, the hilt? The sword handle.
God, you're so smart.
Oh, don't stab people.
Jimmy, what do you got there? You got a new iPad that's all yours to keep? Yeah, I had some cookies,
so that's all I cared about. Oh, cookies
went with it? Teddy Rubskin.
Yeah. He took the movie Ted it? Teddy Rubskin. Yeah.
He took the movie Ted and added a bunch more letters.
Based off of the Teddy Ruxpin.
He added nine more letters.
Now Matt's checking out this iPad because he is a genius.
Just a little annoyed at the resolution of your...
This could be better.
Why is this happening?
Where is the sound coming from?
Do you think the iPad has something to do
with that noise happening?
So maybe
turn it off or something. I'll remember
his name is Ted. I think it's spirits
flying around the room.
Get that thing away from us.
Oh. Hey.
Wow.
Matt's trying to figure out how he can eat those Skittles right now.
How does that happen?
They're attached pretty tight there.
That's a lot of effort.
Okay, so Jonah gets to go first.
And so he gets to pick a category.
Okay.
And then we'll go to Jimmy because I like him.
Jimmy Choo?
Yeah.
And then...
Choo-choo twat?
Choo-choo? Great. Jimmy Choo-choo twat. Choo-choo twat.
Choo-choo twat.
The only person here with you tonight
is your girlfriend, right, Jimmy? My wife, actually.
Yeah. Nice job, buddy.
I call your girlfriend because
that wife thing's not going to last.
I was eyeing her
earlier.
No.
She's not going to use any of these nicknames
against you, right? No.
None of your friends listen to this podcast.
Unfortunately, yes. Oh, they do? Yeah.
Oh, shit. You're going to have some new nicknames.
I apologize.
Choo-choo train, don't quit!
Where is your wife?
In the darkness, waving over.
She's over there. How's it going over there?
Settle down, Myra.
Miss Choo-choo!
Okay.
You get to pick category, Jonah.
Right.
I'm dialing up my Leonard Maltin app.
Would you like
in theaters chow
that's movies that take place in Italy?
I thought it was going to be movies that take place in Italy. I thought it was going to be movies that take place in China.
Or, yuck!
No one ever picks this one. I don't know why.
Because that word is in Leonard's review.
And it's written with three C's and four H's.
Yuck!
So he didn't care for that very much.
And then your third option would be
Leonard Part 6.
Which is one of the many adaptations
of a Leonard Elmore book or story.
I'm going to go with Yach!
Okay.
Finally, somebody picked it.
I can get this out of the goddamn game.
I'm doing it for you.
Oh, thank you.
Leonard Maltin calls this movie a bomb.
On a scale of bomb to four stars.
He says it's repellent.
He says that that the writer director uses a take-no-prisoners approach to the book on which this movie is based yeah and
then the last the last word of the review is Y-U-C-C-C-H-H-H-H.
And the year is 2002.
And Leonard lists 13 names.
How many names do you think you can get it in?
Jonah, Ray.
How many names?
13.
13.
Fuck.
I'll get it in...
Six.
Six?
That's the bottom.
It's a fucking bold opening bit.
It's not.
It's going to take me out of the game.
Now we go to Jimmy.
Name that movie.
Oh, fuck you.
I would have done it.
Jimmy Choo.
That's what I would have done.
Jimmy Choo, Jimmy Choo, run over me.
I got to get off the tracks when you're around.
Do you want the clues again?
Yes, please.
Repellent.
That's a clue, not because I'm looking at you.
Bomb.
Bomb.
Scale of bomb to four.
2002.
And the writer-director uses a take-no-prisoners approach
to adapting a book.
And Leonard says, yuck.
And your
six names are
Claire Kramer,
Swoosie Kurtz,
Faye Dunaway
Clifton Collins Jr
Eric Stoltz
and
Fred Savage
What the fuck is it is right?
Yuck
Just putting all those people together
just sounds like a disgusting mess
This is Awesome Powers Gold member No But why did you think it was? people together just sounds like a this is a sting mess this is awesome powers
gold member no but why did you think it was I can name I don't think any of
those people were in also both friends average wise just one of them was no I
had a ton of fucking cameos I can name the other people in the cast but I cannot
tell you name in the movie Oh who else was in? Jessica Biel is in it. James Van Der Beek is in it.
Shannon Sosaman.
Oh, shit.
Kit Pardue.
Kate Bosworth.
But I can't remember the name.
And it's called The Rules of Attraction.
I'm so sorry.
Based on a Brett Easton Ellis book.
Way to go, Choo Choo.
I saw it.
I don't remember.
Choo Choo. Fair favorite. Choo Choo I saw it, I don't remember Choo Choo Fan favorite, Choo Choo
I don't remember being that disgusted by that movie
But I also don't remember that movie
That's alright
Like James Van Der Beek plays a total jerk, right?
Yeah, he's like a drug dealer
Yeah, and he goes around masturbating on people's nice shirts
He plays
Choo Choo Ha ha ha, choo choo.
You can't run on choo choo.
Y'all remember when choo choo did that?
Oh, Charleston
choo.
It's evolving again.
The ever-changing nickname
Chucky 2.
So Jimmy gets a point.
Good job, man.
Jimmy with a much, much deserved point.
I'm going to fuck you.
Okay.
So Matt sat that one out, and Jimmy said to name it.
So we'll go Matt to Jimmy.
And Matt, you get to pick
from the following categories.
Would you like same name
now this is a movie where
when it came out there had been a previous movie
with the exact same name.
These movies have nothing to do with each other.
Or Breaking Bond
which is
movies that have someone who has
played James Bond in them. So there's been about seven or eight actors who has played James Bond in them.
So there's been about seven or eight actors that have played James Bond,
so it's one of their movies.
And then X-Men, suggested by JRC underscore INC,
X-Men, which is movies that have a tranny in them.
Eddie Murphy movies.
Not on set, Jonah.
Just in them.
So which one of those do you like, Matt?
I'll go Breaking Bond.
Okay, Breaking Bond.
Is that a Bond watch?
Maybe.
So, it is.
Oh, this is interesting.
Go.
It's so funny how randomly things happen.
Here are your clues.
Two stars from Leonard Maltin.
And this is from 1998.
And it has an actor who's played James Bond in it. And
here's another fun clue.
It's a movie that
a movie has come out since this
movie with the same name.
But it's a different
movie. And
it's a movie that has already been
mentioned on this stage. This
title has already been mentioned on this stage. This title has already been mentioned on this stage tonight.
Holy shit.
And Leonard names eight cast members from 1998.
How many do you think you get in?
There's a guy over there that says zero, but of course he's not playing
and doesn't understand the don't yell shit out thing that I keep saying over and over again.
Zero.
Wait, are you just calling him a zero?
You know you can't bid on his behalf.
He's got to make the decision.
Whoa, okay.
You got it.
Hang on.
Gotcha.
Are you still talking?
Raise your hand.
Where are you?
Seriously, boss.
Let's go.
Go outside.
We'll finish the game, and then we'll come get you.
Let's go.
Go outside.
We'll finish the game, and then we'll come get you.
I haven't done that in a while, and it feels good.
You can't just sit there and yell repeatedly.
Yeah.
I want to hear now like a muffled scream.
Zero!
That was not muffled at all.
You tried to muffle it.
Two. I'm going to say two.
He got up and left so nicely.
He didn't put up a fight at all.
He's like, okay.
What's out in the lobby? Is there a game out there?
There's a taxi that will take you to the airport.
He wanted to go to the bathroom,
but he wanted to be escorted there.
I just don't want to get up and go by myself.
Zero!
If I keep yelling zero,
they'll show me where the bathroom is.
Two names, Doug.
Two names.
You're saying two names?
Two names, because I've drawn a blank
now that you've said so many things.
I'm like, wow, I've got to... Two. Two. I'm going to go two. All right, two names. You're saying two names? Two names because I've drawn a blank now that you've said so many things. I'm like, wow, I've got to...
Two.
Two.
I'm going to go two.
All right, poker face.
Where did I say I was going to go next?
Jimmy.
To the choo-choo.
To the choo-choo.
Get up the choo.
Choo-choo train.
I have to do it again. Name that movie. Jimmy Choo-choo. Get up the toot. Choo-choo train. I have to do it again.
Name that movie.
Jimmy Choo-choo always throwing down the gauntlet.
That's why it should have gone the other way to avoid the exact same thing happening again.
I fucked up, but I still like it though.
Okay.
You have to.
It's choo-choo.
All right. I'll give you all the clues again.
Are you ready? Yeah, please. The year is 1998.
And the stars are
two. Two stars.
Has the same name
as another movie that came out
after this movie that's a completely
different story and characters
and it's already
been mentioned on this stage tonight okay and your two names are John Wood
and Eileen Atkins why is that name so funny too I think it's funny because
they know that that those names are absolutely not helpful good luck thank you lady raise your hand I really thought you're gonna follow through I wish it was
always that easy as a fucking suck raise your hand you please go to that door right now okay
you fucking suck yeah Point taken I apologize
I'll see everybody later
What do you got
Name a movie that's
The Thomas Crown Affair
There were two of those
The second one was
Pretty much the same story
Same thing
This is just a
Fucking hilarious coincidence to me.
This movie is called The Avengers.
Wow!
Yeah!
Fucking Sean Connery!
Sean Connery with Uma Thurman and Ralph Fiennes.
From now on, you'll buy your weather from me.
Wielding that...
Hey!
That's their thing!
He threw down his sword.
At least keep the Skittles, dude.
What are you going to do in that fucking cab
if you don't have any Skittles?
Talk about how late I was getting into the cab
with the cab driver.
That'd be horrifying if you're just running out
to the cab with this sword.
Wait!
Wait!
I must avenge.
Choo-choo held me up!
He wrote the shithead on the back, so I'm going to hang on to it for a second.
And let me look at this one again, Jonah.
Oh, yeah, yeah, I remember that.
Okay, so congratulations to Jimmy.
Choo-choo!
Choo-choo!
Choo-choo!
You know what I always say
choose or lose
and you guys lose
Jimmy you went with a silver streak tonight
choo choo
I so don't understand
why you picked this shithead
the sword guy
you don't have to explain it
but it's an odd one to me
but then the other
one makes perfect sense to me.
And
what?
You're 18? That's your excuse?
Okay.
When I say the first shithead
later, just
think to yourself, oh yeah, he's 18.
That's why he would have a
beef with that particular person.
I'm just going to say it right now. The suspense
is killing me. No, I'll say it at the end.
I just want to break
it down. Yeah, I just want to get it out
there. Jimmy, do you have
anything to plug?
Any new
sketches you're drawing out by the pool?
Yeah, follow me on
Twitter, Junction Tees, at Junction Tees. T-E-E. T-E-E-S. sketches you're drawing out by the pool. Yeah, follow me on Twitter.
Junctiontees, at Junctiontees.
T-E-E.
T-E-E-S.
Wait, wait.
Junctiontees! The choo-choo goes into the junction.
The choo-choo junction.
Junctiontees.
I'm glad I could lead you there.
Oh, God. I'm glad that finally made sense
I love when he has his new nickname
And has to explain it to people
It started when I had ranch dressing
On my shirt
It started with the order of a chicken wing
It always starts with a chicken wing
So watch Matt all this week
On Attack of the Show
They're calling
and he pops in and makes you know your cabs calling yeah you're and you're on
attack of the show as a reporter I want to take the show of like three or four
days a week you're viewing some gadgets talk about some stuff but this this week
you're a full-blown hosting it. Yeah.
So good for you.
Congratulations.
And Jonah, what do you got coming up?
Nothing coming up, but...
Okay, thanks.
But my album, Hello, Mr. Magic Plane Person,
Hello, is on iTunes, available there.
So you can check that out.
Hello, Mr. Magic Plane Person.
Hello.
Yeah, it's like you're the Fiona Apple
of
album titles.
I gotta lose weight.
I'm really, what?
It's not a crack at hers.
He's 6'4". He's much larger
than Fiona Apple is.
Wow. You guys just
took it down and wrong. Choo Choo, how do you have to say?
I laughed. Choo Choo got it down and wrong Choo-choo, how do you have to say? I laughed
Choo-choo got it
Choo-choo got it
Jokes and tees, choo-choo
And Matt, are we gonna
Is the end theme queued up or is there gonna be no end theme?
There's gonna be no end theme
So for the audience here tonight, there's not gonna be
You know what, I'll just sing it
That'll be fun
I mean, I'm no Chris Hardwick Who is? Oh, I'll just sing it. Yeah. That'll be fun.
I mean, I'm no Chris Hardwick, but
Who is? Oh, I know how it goes.
Okay. And I know
the words. And I've got all
my tour dates at Douglovesmovies.com
Thank you everybody here tonight
at Hyenas
Dallas
You're a combination
of the friendliest and most involved audience.
Very involved in the show.
And I appreciate that.
And we'll definitely do this again sometime, I think.
This has been a lot of fun.
And as always, Tom Petty is a shithead
put your fucking
fist down
you little piece of shit
Tom Petty
is an American hero
we're gonna save it
with the next one
I wanna know
why
what do you have
against Tom Petty
what do you even know
that he exists
I just don't like
his music
I'm sorry yeah he's not I just don't like his music. I'm sorry.
Yeah, he's not like the classics this guy's used to,
like Limp Bizkit.
They don't make them like they used to,
hot dog flavored water.
Star.
I'll change your mind right now.
Look at his face, everybody.
There's a freeway running through the yard.
See, you love him yeah all right and this next one i'm gonna go right into the end theme you guys so put your mics down okay
and go get a cab go jump in that cab matt myro everybody thanks buddy
jonah ray i literally cannot leave until you're done
because I'm recording it.
No, I know, but you can go to the room there
and get it ready.
Oh, you got cookies, too.
Thanks, Jimmy.
Jimmy Thomason, everybody.
Choo-choo.
And, as always, Chick-fil-A is a shithead.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of Goldie's viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you.
Cause Doug loves movies.