Doug Loves Movies - Matt Walsh and Paul Scheer Guest
Episode Date: October 31, 2008Doug celebrates Halloween with Matt Walsh ('Step Brothers') and Paul Scheer ('Human Giant').See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/...privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby sticky seeds with 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies
Hey everybody
Oh, thank you
Thank you so much. Welcome to
I Love Movies being recorded at the UCB Theater in Los Angeles on a late,
on a Monday evening as part of my Doug Loves Interrupting Scary Movies show that is supposed
to be in that particular time slot.
The podcast listeners will be hearing this on or around Halloween,
so I'm going to try to make it as Halloween-themed as possible.
I could continue to go on and on about the Dark Knight because it's kind of a Halloween thing.
A lot of people will be dressed up as the various characters.
A lot of people will be dressed up as the various characters.
There'll be, West Hollywood will be amok with gay cowboys in nurses' uniforms.
Screaming, why so serious?
But on another topical note, before I bring our guests out,
I just want to say that Bank of America,
I know times are scary right now financially,
and there's also Halloween is coming up,
so I think it's the perfect time for Bank of America to go with the slogan,
Be of A, Be Very of A. America to go with the slogan be of a be very of a
that's the kind of joke you come
up with it and you go does that make any sense at all
stupid
my guest this evening
my first guest I'll bring them out one at a time.
You know this gentleman from a hugely popular amongst people who, you know, aren't into hugely popular things.
They're into stuff that's super cool and not particularly hugely popular.
not particularly hugely popular.
That program would be Human Giant,
and that man would be Paul Scheer, ladies and gentlemen.
Hello.
Hello.
Thank you.
And what can we say about this next gentleman?
Did you see him backstage?
I saw him backstage.
He's very excited.
He is? He's pumped? He's very excited. He is?
He's pumped?
He's in costume.
Really?
No.
For the podcast listeners, he's in total costume.
Oh, okay.
What's the costume then?
Matt Walsh.
He's dressed as himself?
Yeah.
So it's an authentic costume.
Thanks for reminding me who the guest was. Ladies and gentlemen,
you loved him on those shows that he's been on.
That movie he was in.
I was just watching Old School the other day.
He's great in that.
Great in that.
And Eddie Pepitone is in that.
Rob Corddry's in that.
He's in that too?
Yeah.
Which part is he in?
I don't think Corddry has a line in it.
There's a man waiting backstage to come out
who just loads into a chat during his intro.
Matt Walsh is here, everybody.
Matt Walsh.
There he is.
He did wear the Matt Walsh costume.
I enjoyed your conversation.
That's the best introduction ever.
Oh, really? You like that? Just people going off on a tangent. Yeah. I enjoyed your conversation. That's the best introduction ever. Oh really? You like that?
Just people going off on a tangent.
I like that. Just chatting about you and your
storied career. What are you going for Halloween
this year? I'm going to go, I was
thinking about being the guy that's
wearing every laminate he's ever gotten
at every show that he's ever been to.
That's a lot. And I have quite a few
of them. It might not be physically
possible. I want to go as the UPS guy
from those terrible commercials.
You know where he bounces on his heels
and he's got that long hair
and he gets at the marker board
and he's like,
what's Brown going to do for you?
Do you know that dude?
He's the most annoying man on television.
That's what I'm going to be.
I'm changing.
I'm going to dress as that then.
You're stealing my costume?
Yeah, I'm going to go as that too.
I thought we were spitballing ideas.
I thought we were trying to help each other.
That's not spitballing.
You're stealing.
I mean, my idea was bad, but you have a good one, so let's run with it.
I'm not going to go as the guy in the commercial.
I'm going to go as the guy it was based on for the commercial.
That's the ad guy who did that.
He stole that.
That's what I'm going on. You can't take my idea.
I was going to go as Jasmine from Aladdin,
but now I'm going to go as that.
Did you
already buy a Jasmine costume?
I have a couple.
You have a couple?
So you've worn it before Halloween?
Yeah. For fun.
How old were you the first time you put Jasmine on?
28. Since then, 200 times? Yeah Really? For fun For fun? Yeah Like how old were you First time you put Jasmine on? 28
Since then?
200 times?
I don't know
Once a day for a couple years
Yeah
Like 900 times
925 times
Well you give Pocahontas a spin
Every once in a while
Don't you?
Yeah well that's a different costume
I mean when I'm working out
And I feel good about myself
I wear Pocahontas
Oh so you've been
It's more revealing
You've been in a sad phase Like Jasmine is like Paul doesn't like I wear Pocahontas. It's more revealing. You've been in a sad phase.
Like Jasmine is like, Paul doesn't like himself and Pocahontas.
No, Jasmine's joyful.
But Pocahontas means my body's got to show up to play that.
Jasmine's about the mind.
You've got to rock it.
Oh, really?
Pocahontas is about the body.
Ariel, that's also about the body.
But that's also about the mind, too.
So it's about not having legs, right?
She's got legs.
She's got legs? Yeah, she's got legs she's got legs yeah she's all right she's got legs you sure yeah i don't like that song that
ariel sings when she's like what's that word spoon and what's that other word feet like she can't
think of human words and it's just like it's weird that she's talking in human talking
it can make full sentences why do you just synapses come apart when you get to a simple
word like feet and and why would her whole song be reaching for the next word it would just be a
poorly constructed thought like i could see once every couple of words but that was like what's
that word and what's that other words like all right we'll just say it in your stupid language
then you mermaid jesus paul and do not get me started about Sebastian that one time.
Sebastian.
Ursula. Damn you.
Is this Hills?
Yeah, we're talking about the Hills.
What's his name? Grandpa doesn't know the Hills, so
give me the skinny on the Hills. This is the dude,
Spencer Pratt on the Hills.
He just won an award from some
magazine, People or something.
He's one of the 20 worst actors in the history of television.
Really?
Worse than Gossip Girl?
They were on there, too, maybe.
Or 90210 Girls were on there.
Their whole life is like a photo op.
There's one picture of them on the boardwalk, and Spencer's holding a book, reading it like this.
So the camera's getting the book.
His girlfriend's kissing him him and the book is like
How to Make a Million in a Financial Crisis.
That's literally
like it was taken last week.
She's kissing him. They're the worst.
The worst.
Who runs out and gets that
book? It's terrible on every level.
They're bad people.
Do you want to kill them? I met them.
You met them? I did.
I met them at the Hills premiere party.
Why were you at the Hills premiere party?
What's wrong with you?
Why do you do that?
Well, because we have a show on MTV, and that's one of the perks.
But you hate these people.
Oh, yeah, but I would love to gawk at them.
It's still fun to get near them, and it's fun when they come up to you,
and they're like, I watched Best Week Ever, and you said that shit about me. And you go, yeah, but I would love to gawk at them. It's still fun to get near them, and it's fun when they come up to you, and they're like, I watched Best Week Ever, and you said that shit about me.
And you go, yeah, let's make out.
That party was the most awkward thing, because I thought it was going to be like a party.
But it just was all the people from the hills and their parents.
So I just wound up talking to Elsie's dad about, oh, Elsie hates to fly.
When we were a kid, I gave her too much Dramamine.
She passed out.
She wouldn't wake up for a couple hours.
It's like, oh, man, you drugged your child.
But Heidi and Spencer were kept in a different corral.
They were both in corrals.
Elsie and her girls were in a nice little thing with cabanas and meat.
And then Heidi and Spencer were in this other area with MTV executives just being douchey with Joe Francis.
They were hanging out with Joe Francis.
Joe Francis, I saw him at some function and he said, as he was passing by me, we didn't stop to chat.
But as he was walking by, he's like, I love your work.
And I was like.
There's like a 15-page Joe Francis mini-autobiography on the Joe Francis website.
You should read it sometime.
Oh, man, I would love to read that.
He's a fascinating character.
He wanted more than anything for Hugh Hefner to love him.
He wanted Hugh Hefner to welcome him into the world of pornography, I guess.
And Hef didn't give him his comeuppance, and that's his whole treatise.
He's really scorned that Hefner didn't accept him.
Joe Francis put his arm around me and Aziz and said,
Hey, get a picture of this, the sleaziest guys in Hollywood.
Two people did not belong to that definition.
You know that's his line all the time.
Come on, it's fun to be sleazy.
You love me because I'm so sleazy.
Have you ever been to the Playboy Mansion?
Yeah, I have.
What do you think of it?
I fed grapes to monkeys.
Wow, really?
So yeah, any place where that happens is my favorite place on earth
were they your own grapes or is like no they have a little uh
a great machine with a little knob on it um forty dollars per grape
hef knows how to clean up uh no it's uh yeah there's just grapes in a jar or something or i don't know
why they were there i mean i know they were for the monkeys and you go in the grotto yeah yeah
it's that's kind of gross it's just kind of uh i don't know it probably doesn't actually smell bad
but the idea of everything that's happened in there makes the inside of my nose unhappy.
It feels a bit like medical students
waiting for people to fuck or something.
There's all these people hanging out.
It's weird.
Yeah, yeah.
It's almost like there's scientists all milling about.
They got nothing better to do than talk to each other
and have a frothy drink
and then eventually they're going to do research
on these people.
Throw some animals in the pool, won't you?
Randomly, yeah, just fucking in front of people.
But now aren't there like two levels of parties that are like,
hey, you're having a party at the Playboy Mansion.
We'll throw out these kind of weirdo people that are at the Playboy Mansion.
Then it's like, hey, we got Vern Troyer here.
Let's pull out the red carpet at the Playboy Mansion parties.
These are big.
Isn't there two levels?
Speaking of mansions, Haunted Mansion is fun
good transition
not such a good movie though
did you see
the Haunted Mansion movie
no
I don't refuse
Eddie Murphy
yeah
like it's as simple as
oh Pirates of the Caribbean
they just turned
the ride into a movie
which they really
didn't at all
they just
Pirates was the only
really thing
that was retained
from the ride to the movie.
And then they tried again with Haunted Mansion, the movie.
Jennifer Tilly, they have the elevator?
And I wanted it to be successful
because I wanted it to get ridiculous,
like Teacups movie.
Small World movie.
Monorail movie.
They're making a Hall of Presidents movie.
No, they're not.
It'd be really good. Space Mountain movie. That of Presidents movie. No, they're not. It'd be really good.
Space Mountain movie.
That could be a movie.
Space Mountain could be a movie.
Space Mountain could be a movie, yeah.
There should be a hall.
There should be a Hall of Presidents that are vice, vice presidents, Hall of Vice Presidents,
and they can all tell children about how they run the Senate and how they could explain to them all of their responsibilities as Vice President.
I'm going to do a movie based on that big keel boat that goes around the one with the
big wheel that goes around that lagoon.
Oh, the Mark Twain Riverboat?
Yeah, the Mark Twain Riverboat.
I'm going to do it about the parents who buy their children autograph books and the kids have to get Goofy's signature and Donald's signature.
And then the weirdo that tells you if you go through that ride,
because I met somebody at the chicken place where you eat chicken,
and he was saying, look at the 14th plate on the right-hand side.
You can see Mickey made out of two cookies and a pancake.
What?
All right.
Let me eat some chicken, man.
Like, people get obsessed crazy about that stuff.
Like, the people who go multiple times.
Does anyone here go to Disneyland a million times?
I'm one of those people where my parents got a timeshare there.
Disneyanna's or something like that?
Oh, that, yeah.
You're a Disneyanna?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, wow.
Really?
I guess I made fun of your folk.
What's, uh... How many times do you go to Disneyland today? Oh, that yet? You're a Disney Anna? Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. Really? I guess I made fun of your folk.
How many times do you go to Disneyland today?
Excellent question.
That's a great question. That's a great question.
Nine times today?
These guys are crazy.
How many times?
You have to park every time?
In an average year, how many times do you go?
Oh, dozens.
Dozens, wow.
I have an annual membership.
You get the pass?
You get the year-long pass?
My first major purchase when I moved to L.A.
Are you a pedophile?
I have to ask you.
I have to ask you.
We should be repeating what he's saying.
I believe you.
When you say no, I believe you, but I legally have to ask.
No, that's fine.
It's a legal question.
Right?
It's a legal question.
Okay.
Remember that his part of the conversation is unheard by our listeners.
Oh, I'm sorry. Because we're not micing him.
So if you have anything more to say, talk into
the microphone. I get that a lot.
I go there.
Yeah, let's...
Can we go back? Can we try to...
Well, we can't. We're not going to rewind,
but we can still give them what they missed. I have to ask you,
are you a pedophile?
No, that wasn't the first part of it.
We had a more.
Where did it start? It started off, I go to
Disneyland 24 times a year.
How many times a day? I go nine
times a day. Okay. Alright.
Ask him how many times. He said,
I'm wearing Ariel
panties as we speak.
That far back? Alright.
What's your favorite? The hills. We were talking about the hills before that.. That far back? All right. I think he said. What's your favorite?
The Hills.
We were talking about The Hills before that.
Let's go back to your introduction.
He said something about Spencer Pratt and a kill fuck or something.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What's your favorite?
He's a nice guy.
I'm glad we got him in the show.
And I talked about being a UPS guy for Halloween.
Oh, me too.
I think I brought that up and then you took it.
All bets aside. Yeah. Don't take my Halloween costumeeen costume i'm dead serious i think i had to take my home i'm all joking aside well you listen to the track you know it's funny coming to theater
make people laugh do not take my halloween costume whatever bro i'm not i'm not fucking
around all right i know where you live like how am i how I'll find out Where I live I will know Yeah
I have an unpublished address
I know where you
Trick or treat
Touche
Alright so
I'm going to go address this
Barack your mama's house
What's that?
It's a combination of
Barack Obama
And that movie
Mama's house How are you going to address that? Like what a combination of Barack Obama and that movie Mama's House.
How are you going to dress that?
What are you going to wear?
You'll dress as a female Barack with fat?
In a house.
Are you going to go Barack hair or Mama hair?
Are you going to go curlers or are you going to go tight weave?
Super little pinner curlers.
I like that.
Fat suit or no fat suit?
And one of them is a joint.
What?
Fat suit or no fat suit?
Fat suit.
I can't believe you guys keep asking me questions about this.
I want to see if you're for real.
It was horrible.
And you drug it out.
People in the Valley really get into Halloween.
I live in the Valley. get into halloween i live in the valley
and they like have like graveyards and there's a couple people who are uh neighbors or whatever
kind of like this guy and they put spook houses in their backyard you're there with your kid you're
not sure if you want to go back there oh i wouldn't want that yeah yeah you wouldn't put a spook house
back there no i wouldn't put a spook but the good thing is they have gravestones on their front yard
I love that
You guys are on a roll
I didn't think you needed me to do anything
Doug just got up
You guys are having a good conversation
So I just went and got my
I got my Leonard Maltin book
Because we play the Leonard Maltin game on the show
So I wanted to get ready for that, but I
wasn't going to do it right now.
Do it now. What is it?
It's a fun game that we play.
Well, horror movies.
Did you see Saw 5?
I saw...
We got a timid yay in the audience.
People said I look like the poster.
They say I look like the poster of the guy
in Saw 5.
That's not a compliment. I, that's not a compliment.
That is not a compliment
as it turns out.
I know it's not
a compliment.
That's terrible.
I think I have
a beautiful face.
So does that guy.
He has a beautiful face,
but then you're reminded
that it's somebody else's skin.
That's what's weird about it.
No, people are saying that
because you also have
your face attached on
like a mask.
It's just show business. At least it's a break. It's a break from... I'm 94 a mask. It's just show business.
At least it's a break.
It's a break from...
I'm 94 years old.
It's probably a nice break for you, though, from Juno's dad.
Yeah.
I got tired of hearing that all the time.
I heard that a lot.
I tried to do one that's not really that close, but a burn at the same time.
The what?
I get a lot.
Reginald Bell Johnson.
Bruce Willis?
I get Reginald Bell Johnson a lot. The Willis? I get Reginald Valjohnson a lot.
The guy,
the father from Family Matters.
Yeah,
I get him.
Oh,
hey,
Family Matters.
I'm like,
I'm not the guy.
I'm not on that show.
I don't know what you're seeing,
but I'm not him.
You do say,
did I do that a lot?
You're always saying that.
I don't really look like that guy.
It's because you have
that same sad story.
You go,
I shot a kid.
That is the only thing we have in common.
We've both shot a kid.
I shot a kid, John.
And we Christmas at Bruce Willis' house every year.
Me and Reginald Vell.
And two of his kids.
I don't even know their names yet.
He keeps on showing up to Bruce Willis' house, but Bruce does not let him in.
I go to the guest house.
No, they just talk the whole night.
They just talk over walkie-talkies.
Listen, if I don't make it out of here.
He knows his place.
If I don't make it out of here alive tonight, Bruce.
Al Powell, he's still down there.
I don't know what Hans is up to.
You should have seen this fucking gravy that we had, Fatman.
Did you see Saw V?
Who, who, what?
Did you see Saw V?
I did not and will not.
I did not see Saw.
I saw Tallhead.
I did not see Saw II.
I did not see Saw.
I did see Saw III.
I did not see Saw IV.
And I won't see Saw V.
I saw Saw 1, and then I'm a big fan of Donnie Wahlberg, so I saw Saw 2.
But I really only see it.
I don't see it for the desk.
Danny Glover was in the first one, so I always have to see a Danny Glover movie.
And then the second one was Donnie Wahlberg.
Anything with Danny Glover in it.
Any Danny Glover movie, you will see it.
I'm there. Front row. Everything's in the weapon. Be kind. Rewind. Did you see with Danny Glover in it. Any Danny Glover movie, you will see. I'm there.
Front row.
Everything's in the weapon.
Be kind.
Rewind.
You see it?
Done.
Sit it.
Saw it.
Sit it.
Sit it.
You know...
Darjeeling Limited?
Trick question.
Not in it.
Not in it.
If he was, it would have been better.
He was in Tannenbaum's.
Of course he saw that.
That's amazing.
Color Purple.
Watched those scenes where he beat his wife
numerous times.
Really?
Boom.
No one beats like Danny Glover.
What's your favorite beating?
I'll tell you this much.
When he's beating his wife,
he is not too old for this shit.
What's your favorite beating?
Does he ever use a weapon
or just barehanded all the time?
He is a lethal weapon.
His hands.
But he...
No.
I don't know. He was great. He is a lethal weapon. His hands. But he... No, I don't know.
He was great.
He does a backhanded thing, which is always nice.
I never liked the toilet death and lethal weapon.
I never bought it. There was no death.
I know.
But you know what I mean.
The toilet bomb.
It was a lot of work on that guy's part to go into the guy's house and rig the toilet
paper.
Exactly.
And I'm like, boom, it wrote on the toilet paper.
I just bought that fucking house at that point. guy's house and rigged the toilet paper and was like, boom, it wrote on the toilet paper. That guy deserves to be accidentally
blown up while he's writing boom.
Alright, so the Leonard Maltin game works
like this. I list the cast
from a motion picture from the
lower listed character
actors up to the top
lead actors.
And you guys say stop when you think you know it and you guess.
Paul Scheer will destroy me.
No, I won't.
This is a tough one.
Well, you know, also, there's no winning or losing.
There's just you're either the best or you're not as good.
Just love?
All right.
And I'm going to try to keep it in the horror genre.
I think that'd be fun.
That's good.
So it's made it difficult to pick one though
Phantasm, is it Phantasm?
No
Don't look at the book Paul
I'm going to get a good one
Don't see how many pages in I am
Because that's a good way to figure it out
Is Rocky Horror a horror?
You can't suggest titles to me
It ruins the fun of the game
Final Destination 2
Rocky Horror
Okay, I'm going to go with Final Destination 2
Omen
The Omen remake
Liv Shriver
Yeah, you guys just start guessing
And when you get to one that I think I might choose
Scarface
I will stop you Oh, they had I think I might choose Scarface Scarface
is that a horror movie?
I will stop you
oh they had
I went to Universal Horror Nights
last night
and they had a zombie
Al Pacino
running around
so it was
Tony Montana
in the white suit
with bullet holes
and a machine gun
and he would run
it was a zombie
Tony Montana
he was like
hey
just yell at people
and pose in front of
the Desperate Housewives building that was zombie Tony Montana. Hey! Just yell at people. And pose in front of the Desperate Housewives building.
That was the Tony Montana ride.
And you loved it.
You did love it.
100%.
Yeah.
And the dog scared you.
The graveyard dog scared you.
Oh, man.
Did you go to Universal Knights of Horror?
Do yourself a favor.
You're hearing this around Halloween.
Fly out to California or Orlando and make your halloween amazing yeah if it's like
always been your dream to have someone run up to you and shake a can of nuts in your face
pretty good pretty good you should go check it out the best job at universe only 40 a ticket
to have a guy shake a can of nuts in your face the the best job at universal studios nights of
horror is you get to walk
by the Psycho House
because the terror tram,
it's the regular tram,
but someone died
so you have to get out
and walk.
So the terror tram
breaks down.
Are they decorated
at least or no?
No.
The actor on the terror tram
was pretty terrible.
She goes,
oh no,
someone died.
You guys have to walk.
And I'm doing
I did it a little bit better
than she did it
and
so you walk by
and then there is
you walk by the psycho house
and there's a guy
dressed like Norman Bates
the least scary
killer
and he just stands
he just stands up
in front of the house
just stares
gives everybody a look
just gives you a look.
Just gives you a look.
Never moved, never attacked anyone. I might suddenly kill a tramload of people with my bare hands.
Just stared.
How was that?
He never moved.
Never moved.
I've got a knife.
I'm going to kill all of you.
I'd have to go upstairs, change it to my mother, then run down and get the knife.
Then it's too complicated.
So I'll just still leer at you instead.
But you know,
the thing that was great was it wasn't
Anthony Perkins,
Norman Bates.
It was Vince Vaughn
and Norman Bates.
For real?
Oh.
That would have been amazing.
Because that would have done,
there would have been
double take.
Whoa.
That's the beauty of it
is they probably have,
they could hire anybody
that looks like either of those two guys.
You wouldn't know.
It would be good to go.
All right, I found a scary movie.
I guess it's supposed to be a scary movie.
Scary movie.
It's from 1987.
87?
Yeah, 87.
Scream.
No.
This is going to be hard because no famous people are in scary movies.
It's like Neil Donovan and they all acted in one movie.
Well, I'm using the term loosely.
I think maybe it might be under action, horror.
I don't know what they'd call it.
American Werewolf in London.
Ghoulies.
I love the enthusiasm of guessing with no clues.
All right, guys. it's a movie.
Go.
Freaky Friday.
Kevin Peter Hall is in this movie. I think
Kevin Peter Hall has only been in two or three movies
total. Alright.
That's a good clue. This guy's hardly
been in any movies. Shane Black.
Oh, the author? Swimfan.
That is a horror movie.
Yeah, God.
That's not the one.
R.G. Armstrong.
Richard Chavez.
Sonny Landham.
Jesse Ventura.
Magic.
Former governor Jesse Ventura.
Is this the one with the glasses?
What is it?
The one with the glasses and is it? It's they live
The one with the glasses
And the things
Yeah
Powering Inferno
They live
No it's not they live
That's a good guess though
Jesse Ventura
People in the audience know it
Bill Duke was in this movie
Who?
Don't yell it out dude
I wish I had better hearing
I said people know it
I didn't say people yell it
Did you hear him?
No
Okay well play it out
As soon as I start to say another name You yell it out No. Did you hear him? No. Okay, well, play it out.
As soon as I start to say another name, you yell it out.
No, I didn't hear him.
Jesse Ventura, Bill Duke,
Elpida, Dipika,
Carl Weathers, was it?
Oh, Predator.
Oh, right. The guy, the thing,
the guy just yelled a few minutes ago that I
pretended to not hear. Predator. Of course, Predator. the guy just yelled a few minutes ago that I, that I pretended to not
hear.
Predator.
Of course.
Predator.
Predator.
But that's how it works.
Good guess.
Good.
Always chews up a lot of time.
For some reason, people listen to the podcast, enjoy that.
Do you guys enjoy it when it happens live in front of you?
Or is it annoying that nobody knows the answers when you, when you know it in your head?
We're out of time, guys.
Okay.
Do it. That, do it.
That's the crazy
world of, you know, podcasting.
You're just like, fuck it, this episode's
going to be 31 minutes.
Okay.
Alright, Matt,
got anything you want to plug?
Kilgore. Friday.
Halloween.
Halloween.
It's a bloody
Theatrical experience
Oh it's usually
You bloody up this
Stage in New York
But now you've done it
Out here for a couple years
Yeah now we're doing it
Out here
We're doing it in New York
And LA this year
You're doing it both
Yeah
When's it gonna happen
But it's not like
Universal horror
It's like a story
Yeah okay
I wasn't
Was I accusing you
Like with a glance
No I don't want to
Misrepresent it
Was it a look in my eye
That said this is some universal bullshit?
They're going to take me on a goddamn tram ride.
You have the same face when Paul told his psycho story.
Oh, okay.
No, that's just my face.
People can't see it.
I was just in face mode.
All right.
Here we go.
I had one that I thought was really good, then I got nervous that no one would get it.
But what's the dates in New York?
When are you doing it in New York?
This week it starts.
It's probably like Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and then L.A. is in like just Friday.
Two shows on Friday.
All right.
This probably won't be uploaded in time, but that's cool.
All right.
Next year, everybody, Kilgore.
It's a Halloween treat.
You know what?
Perennial Halloween treat.
2010. We might as well hit that one too
In case I don't get on the show
2010 it, everybody
It's all make a pact
That's what we're gonna do on Halloween
New Year's Eve
Paul's still looking
Well, I had one
Okay, you ready?
It's a long episode
Alright
What the fuck is it?
Alright, I'm gonna do this one
Oh, damn
Alright, well, does it have to do this one. Oh, damn.
All right, well,
does it have to be a horror movie? No.
No. What was it you were telling me the other day about your inability to find
things that are alphabetized? Is that a real
genuine affliction?
Well, I'll tell you what I was looking for.
I was looking for Jacob's Ladder, and
it's not here.
I have Jacob the Liar, I have Jamaica Inn,
I have Jailbait and Jaguar. It's not here. You have Jacob the Liar. I have Jamaica Inn. I have Jailbait and Jaguar.
It's not here.
You have to give it to me right now.
We're going 32 minutes.
We're going 32 minutes.
Let's go on the record here about how he does not smoke pot, and I do.
He is not high.
Oh, is this called J-O-C?
J-A-C.
Not J-O-C.
J-A-C.
Jacob's letter.
I got it. 1990. Wait, wait, wait. But let it be known that he turned up. J-O-C. Not J-O-C. J-A-C. Jacob's Ladder. I got it.
1990.
Wait, wait, wait.
But let it be known that he turned it back.
J-O-C?
Let's play.
Let's play.
Bing Rames.
Mission Impossible 3.
Jacob's Ladder.
Eric LaSalle.
Jacob's Ladder.
Patricia Callender.
Jacob's Ladder.
Jason Alexander.
Jacob's Ladder.
Pruitt Taylor-Vince.
Jacob's Ladder.
Matt Craven.
Jacob's Ladder.
Danny Aiello.
Do the right thing. Elizabeth Pina. Jacob Slatter. Matt Craven. Jacob Slatter. Danny Aiello. Do the right thing.
Elizabeth Pina.
Right here, too.
Tim Robbins.
Jacob Slatter.
Rock the cradle.
Yes.
That's our show.
Let's hear it for Paul and for Matt.
As always, Willem Dafoe is the shithead.
End theme.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. As always, Willem Dafoe is the shithead. End theme.