Doug Loves Movies - Michael Sheen, Natalie "Moriarty" Morales and Theo Von guest
Episode Date: March 8, 2016Live from the NerdMelt Showroom in LA, Doug welcomes actors Michael Sheen and Natalie Morales and comedian Theo Von to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and Californi...a Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, sweetie, maybe sticky seeds
With 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Because Doug loves movies
Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug,
and I'm ready for a loud reaction to these words.
I love movies.
There's a lady in the audience, wrong reaction,
just screaming.
It's a very specific cue.
Have you ever heard the podcast?
Once.
And during the opening, I was in the shitter.
Coming to you from the Nerd Melt showroom
at Meltdown Comics in Hollywood.
It's another...
So far, it feels comfortable,
but apologies right now,
because, you know, when everybody gets all heated up and excited over everything that's happening,
it's going to get pretty warm here in the back of Meltdown Comics,
because there's an air conditioning issue.
In other words, we're in the back of Meltdown Comics.
No, sometimes it works, so they're going to try to fix that.
But it's Sunday, March 6, 2016.
Got name tags?
I think so.
I think I see a few good ones.
Dr. Nick instead of Dr. No.
Of course.
Makes perfect sense.
Rachel loves donuts.
You're a dude named Rachel?
He's just holding up your donuts?
Why does that seem dirty?
Lots of donuts today. There's donuts
in the front row, donuts back there.
I like that. Edpool.
That's pretty cool.
I like that, the way Deadpool's just sort of peering over
the name tag. Yeah, pretty neat.
Danny in real life? Alright.
These are some good options here.
It's going to be tough for my guests today.
Thank you for bringing those.
Doug's plugs tomorrow night, Sunday, March 7th.
I'll be on At Midnight, At Midnight,
11 Central and Mountain on Comedy Central.
Tuesday, March 8th, Getting Doug with High
goes live on my YouTube channel at 1.15 Pacific Time.
Got two newbies and an old book for that one. And then
March 11th through the 19th, I'll be at
South by Southwest in Austin, Texas
doing several
shows you can't get into
if you don't have a stinking badge.
So sorry about that
if you don't have a fancy
South by Southwest
badge. The next Douglas Movies
taping here at Meltdown Comics
is on Sunday, March 20th, at the usual time.
That gives them two weeks to fix the air conditioning.
People are already fanning themselves,
which is the most distracting thing
for audience members to be doing.
And there's a very nice lady who always manages
to do it from the very front row.
And I feel bad because I want her to be able to fan herself, who always manages to do it from the very front row.
And I feel bad, because I want her to be able to fan herself,
but it's also weird that someone sitting that close to me
is fanning themselves.
Now it's time for Watch This, Not That.
I feel terrible.
Watch This, Not That.
The number one movie in the country is Zootopia Lander.
The number two movie is
London Has Fallen and I Can't Get Up.
I mean, this choice is fairly simple if you're an adult.
You'd obviously watch Zootopia, not London Has Fallen.
Because Zootopia looks to be like the more sophisticated film that had some thought put into it
instead of,
well,
Olympus fell.
Just spin a map
and stop it.
London has fallen.
Go.
Write it.
You're done?
Great.
Feet on desk.
This has been
Watch This, Not That.
I haven't seen either
and probably won't be
soon edition.
Oh, now it's time for tweet relief.
Tweets about movies.
At butt chug.
Butt chug wizard.
It made perfect sense
until I got to wizard.
Tweeted,
gods of Egypt?
More like,
gods of each shit.
This has been
tweet relief.
Concise
butt chug wizard edition.
Let's check out
what's in the prize bag,
you guys.
Oh, Lord.
It's already a huge prize bag.
All of my guests
look like they brought
amazing stuff for the bag
So this is someone's going home
A lot richer
My friend in the front row who likes to fan herself
And has stopped
But if you're going to pass out
Fan yourself
If those are the options
If you start to feel light headed
Fan away
But you also dressed appropriately
You've got a nice tank on.
Look at some of these other people.
Like the guy next to you in the hoodie.
One seat over.
And the guy on stage in the hoodie.
What are we doing?
What's wrong with us?
I never knew how to pronounce these Girl Scout cookies.
Trefoils?
That's really it?
Trefoils?
Trefoils?
Trefoils?
Curses. trufoiled again.
Chelsea gave us a box of Girl Scout cookies.
Did you buy these from Chris Rock at the Oscars?
This is something I got on the road.
Somebody gave this to me in, I want to say the right place,
but I've been to so many.
Wherever I was just recently, maybe New York.
But this book is hilarious because it's called Movie Reference Book,
a comprehensive illustrated guide to the actors and actresses from movies of today and yesterday.
And then it's just 697 photos.
And this is what the photos look like.
Like, the cover of the book is in color,
but inside it's just shitty black-and-white photos of famous actors in alphabetical order.
Wait, what?
No, it's not even in alphabetical order.
I'm halfway through, and I just hit Dan Aykroyd.
Who's right next to Robert Englund in his Freddy Krueger makeup.
Yeah, so that's a great spot.
So somebody's going to win that book.
I should hang on to that. It's pretty cool.
A couple of VHSs.
I got an episode
of angel called called offspring I think that was a good one and then this is a
pilot final sales version this is a pilot the final version of a pilot
called Adams way and I have no idea what that was about or or who was in it I don't think it even went to series for the WB network which also
doesn't does not exist never happened you guys a sippy cup from I saw a
musical on Broadway and previews called disaster and so I kept my sippy cup from
that Chelsea's very excited I got some cookies from D. Luscious Cookies,
because they give them to you on at midnight,
and I'm not a cookie eater.
Oh, this is great.
These are two CDs that, for some reason, I purchased.
Mandy Moore's first album, Candy.
Yeah, I mean, the clerk should have just really talked me out of that one.
And then whenever I think of sad dogs, I like to listen to Sarah McLachlan.
And this is her most popular one, I think.
Surfacing?
Yeah.
So those are both in the bag.
And this is the most exciting thing to me.
Yesterday I participated in the Jimmy Pardo's annual podcast-a-thon.
And $169,000, I think, was raised for Smile Train.
And I'll have a few of these to give away over the next few episodes. Smile Train gave us a bunch of shirts
to commemorate
Podcasts on
16, which I don't think that's the 16th
one. I think it's because it's
2016.
But that shit always confuses me
when I'm hashtagging.
We got two newbies and
a great old bee coming out here
right now, you guys. Please give a big warm welcome to Theo Vaughn
Natalie Morales and Michael Sheen Where's your mic at?
This is it.
Yeah, that's your mic, Theo.
Good job.
And Natalie's got her mic now.
And I'll always be your mic.
You were saying that to everyone, though, right?
Not just me.
No, just me.
You're everybody's mic.
But ladies first, you guys.
Natalie Morales is back on the show, everybody.
Second time here. First time here first time long time it's been a while it's been a while
a little bit yeah yeah thank you for coming back i'm happy to be here and thank you for remembering
i existed i think i told you backstage i see your twitters i see your tweets and i especially enjoy
you know there's a natalie Morales on a program none of us
watch because we like to sleep
called The Today Show.
And Natalie Morales,
straight up, same name.
That's some bullshit, right?
Because, you know,
if she was in SAG, she'd have to pick a
she'd have to stick a middle initial in there or something.
Not in fucking SAG.
She's just in the TV union. Morning TV union. I tv union i think it's after but now it doesn't matter
now it's all well it's sag after so but it's too late to get her to add an initial yes i don't know
like natalie j morales i would i would hope it's natalie v morales i like the feeling of that
each other yes first name versus last name the sad thing is is that i was i was going i almost
had a stage name and i so regret it now uh i really did you have one picked out yes and i
used it early on what was it it's awesome you guys um it was natalie moriarty whoa
because and at the time when i picked it no one cared about Sherlock Holmes and now there's like a
big resurgence I would have been you know of the time I would have not been pigeonholed into
Latina roles and I wouldn't have been confused with this lady all the time it's a big mistake
do you think it's too late yeah maybe I don't know but you're
on a very
everybody tells me how great the grinder is
she's on the grinder you guys
if you're not watching it
cause you have
Fred Savage issues or something
like you're afraid Mike Myers is gonna run in
and say mole a hundred times
uh
moley moley moley moley is going to run in and say mole a hundred times.
Moley, moley, moley, moley.
And it's in its second,
it's going into its second season.
Where's it at?
We hope so.
Oh, it still hasn't,
it's on,
is it on the bubble?
Do we have to vote?
Are there going to be primaries?
Do we have to caucus for the grinder? I think you just have to watch it.
Oh, okay.
Watch it, you guys.
Yeah, just watch it.
It's on Fox on Monday nights.
Or on the Fox Now app.
Tuesday, according to someone in the audience.
I just took a guess.
It is Tuesday nights.
Okay, good.
At 9.30.
It's funny.
Someone in the audience corrected me before you did.
Oh, I didn't hear you.
At 9.30?
Yeah, 9.30.
It's a half hour?
Yeah.
Did not know that. I didn't hear you. At 9.30? Yeah, 9.30. It's a half hour? Yeah. Did not know that.
I'm more in now.
What did you think it was?
You thought it was an hour long?
I thought it was an hour long show, sure.
Like all those David Kelly drama companies.
Do you think it was a drama?
Drama-dies.
Well, I thought it was, you know,
maybe Ally McBeal-ish.
And they drag that shit out for an hour every week.
Like two episodes in,
they're like,
we gotta start doing musical numbers.
Uh, no.
No dancing babies.
So half hour, tight, no dancing babies.
You could just go right to the case,
solve the case.
There's absurd, absurd things.
Yeah, crazy shit.
Hardly ever a case.
All right.
I had no idea, but it is single camera.
Uh, no.
I mean, yes, it is.
There's got to be at least one camera.
Yes, there is. There's many.
Alright, we'll watch it, you guys.
Saturdays on ABC.
Tuesdays at 9.30 on Fox. Settle down.
It's too hot in here to be upset.
Also, joining us for the very first time
is a super polite young man.
I did some radio with him a couple days ago.
We'll talk about that in a second.
It's Theo Vaughn, everybody.
Thank you for having me, Douglas.
I liked how you waved on a podcast.
Well, that's true.
That's me right here.
Okay.
So I'm not the smartest one here.
Well, we'll see about that.
But for the time being, you're all smart to me.
And you were fun to hang out with at the open gym show on
Sirius XM last week we did it on Wednesday yeah it was that cow in my
town that didn't have any legs remember that cow I told you about yeah I didn't
I didn't love that story kind of a I'm kind of a cow fan I have a couple at
home did we talk about whether or not you named the cow did someone named it I'm kind of a cow fan. I have a couple at home. Okay.
Did we talk about whether or not you named the cow?
Did it have a name? No, someone named it Danny, though,
because I thought they thought it was going to be a boy.
And they thought it would have four legs.
I guess.
I don't know.
Did they prop it up?
Like, how does a cow...
No, they put it in, like, a special soft area,
and everybody would come and pet it and everything.
He just rolls?
He's like the oracle of our town.
He didn't roll over much. They might have leaned him at night. special soft area and everybody would come and pet and everything. It's like the oracle of our town.
He didn't roll over much. They might have leaned him at night.
I can't believe that we didn't ask these follow-up questions. Well, it's like one of the cases on our show.
Yeah, it would be. Some people are mad
about the legless cow. Somebody stole Danny?
Who's got Danny?
Definitely didn't run away.
We can rule that out.
And Michael Sheen is here, you guys.
Star of films
and references
made around Sarah Silverman.
Did you see Bill Maher on Friday night?
Yeah, I was there.
Yeah, and he, what did he call you, a hunky Englishman?
He called me a hunky Brit.
There you go.
A hunky British boyfriend.
Yeah.
I thought he was talking about Clive Owen.
I was looking around.
What, where is this?
But that was cool that she was on there and said a lot of great things. Yeah, she did great. It was looking around. Where is this? But that was cool that she was on there
and said a lot of great things.
It was super fun.
And then I watched it today
and in Bill Maher's rant at the end,
New Rules,
he totally burns Nancy Reagan.
So that's weird timing.
I mean, just for me,
everybody else watched it on Friday night
and a couple days later
she died
that's how she died
Bill Maher burnt to death
Bill Maher
she was a witch
did we
not surprised
Bill Maher set
Nancy Reagan on fire
and people didn't notice
at first
because she's always
wearing red
it's a quick news cycle
Saturday night
established as a witch.
Sunday, burnt to death
by Bill Maher.
That's terrible.
I hope I'm not upsetting anybody with that.
Also, so you have time to watch Bill Maher TV show,
still haven't time to watch Masters of Sex,
as you just told me.
How many episodes do you have so far of Masters of Sex?
Three.
Yeah, and how many are people that I know naked in?
All three.
It's hard for me to watch, dude.
I'm constantly naked throughout.
No, I've seen some of the show,
and like Allison Janney's amazing on it,
and you know, it looks like a great show.
So I'll go back and watch all of it.
Just Allison Janney.
Yeah, just Allison Janney.
No, I could compliment
you to your face
but I do that
every time you're
on the show.
Yeah, I don't have
shit actors
on Doug Loves Movies.
What would be
the point of that?
You seem like a nice man
I think.
I do.
Theo, I need to tell you
there's currently a contest for a show Sidekick
and you are now in first place.
Did you get a chance to listen to this show at all?
Yeah, I did.
I listened to some of it.
Oh, sorry.
I did listen to some of it.
When you're doing stand-up comedy,
do you ever just wander on a stage
and just start talking
and somebody has to go
Cleo, I almost called you Cleo
you almost called me Cleo
the new sidekick
my new sidekick Cleo
Vaughn everybody
yeah just remember to use your microphone
yeah
and you're gonna do great
cause you listened to one who was on that one? to the one that I listened to? Just remember to use your microphone. Yeah. And you're going to do great. Thanks, man.
Because you listened to one.
Who was on that one?
To the one that I listened to?
Yeah.
Do you remember?
I'm trying to think.
It was like this kind of taller, like dark-skinned guy.
You could tell from listening?
Yeah.
Yeah, I can.
I know a taller dark-skinned man, and I know what they sound like, honestly.
Because Petemes is tall
but i don't know why would you know he's not he sounds taller and whiter though we're paying yeah
this guy sounded a little more not like pete holmes okay could you take a stab at who might
have been tongan or like something from an island some romantic place i want to just make sure
douglow's movies is the show you listen to
Can I put this back on my lap?
Can I put this back on my lap?
I think I had it there for a reason
Tom something from an island
That was his name
This is like lost the conversation
I feel like
I'm sorry I'm just going to put this on my lap
You know there's a lot of people that stick with it for 8 years
Can you just talk to Michael again, please?
Well, I gotta just say, Cleo, that you are...
You are terrific on Masters of Sex.
It's the only reason that I watch.
I have an assistant, cuts every other actor out of the show.
And since you're not actually on it, that's why I've never seen any of you.
But you were always on.
I first saw you, of course, on Road Rules.
And I was like, that guy is so much funnier than anybody that's ever been on Road Rules.
Yeah, thanks.
Yeah, you were like a funny guy on there.
But you got the idea to become a stand-up comic like a few years later.
Yeah. You weren't doing any stand-up at that time and you got you know, you got your face out there on that show
You did a bunch of challenges a bunch of challenges Yeah, and then we started comedy you probably just start a little bit of ground zero
But at least some people knew who you were right and it was funny material that you had
Yeah, I'm having and it's hard to do comedy when you're standing at ground zero. It's not
As soon as I said it I was like that can't be the right expression material that you have. And it's hard to do comedy when you're standing at ground zero. It's not a funny place.
As soon as I said it, I was like,
that can't be the right expression.
That's a tough crowd.
You started your comedy in a pit where two buildings used to be.
What?
Isn't that what ground zero means?
I don't want to be the assistant
I'm so
I know it's hard
not everybody can be as great as an assistant
as Andy Richter
the way he gets Conan his coffee
is so great
he always gets the right amount of sugar
alright you guys I gotta ask a question of everybody way he gets Conan his coffee is so great. He always gets the right amount of sugar.
Alright, you guys. I've got to ask a question of everybody. Two
questions. The first being, what did you bring for the prize
bag? Let's start. Let's build up
to Michael because he always... No, don't.
Really?
I think you always overdo it
which is a great thing, but let's
start with Theo because it's his first time.
He probably maybe doesn't even understand the premise.
No, but I love prizes, and I brought two prizes for someone.
And I brought this right here, actually, is a Tommy John shirt.
There's just one shirt in that box?
Yeah, there might be more in there.
You know, I just saw that box from the side
as it was here, and it says,
Tommy John, I want everyone to experience
the Tommy John fit and feel,
and I did not think it was a shirt.
At all.
Oh, you thought it was a cast of his anus?
No!
No, but I did think it was some sort of
fleshlight-y type thing.
Yeah, look,
that's what I was going for,
but fleshlight wouldn't
make any sense
because he's a dude.
It could be.
And I got this book here,
Tinder Nightmares.
It's autographed
by me and Doug.
What, right now?
Yep.
So it's already autographed.
You already autographed?
Oh, you wrote my name in there.
That's perfect. Thank you. Well, you wrote my name in there. That's perfect.
Thank you.
Well, thank you for that.
That's some good stuff, but as we
heard, there are some Grindr
fans in the audience, and
Natalie, what did you bring
from the Grindr?
What I think is two posters.
And also,
one moment.
While I open this box, it's so exciting. Oh, this is like watching a loot crate being opened.
I brought some Grindr beanies.
Oh.
And some Grindr sunglasses.
Multiples of each of those things?
Yes.
How many of each?
I think there's three of each sunglasses and beanie.
We'll pull out the extras and let's throw them into the audience.
All right.
Lawsuit.
How deep does this go?
Whoa, that was real deep.
Should I throw them?
Is this what's happening?
For no reason at all?
Yeah, just because they want it.
If there's hands up, just hit his hands.
What if I hurt somebody?
Well, the beanies will be less painful, hopefully.
There you go.
There you go.
Beanies are soft.
One more beanie.
Oh, well, that was kind of grabby.
Was that your wife or your girlfriend that you grabbed it from?
My wife.
And I'm not going to throw the extra poster, huh?
No, who wants a poster?
That guy.
It's a Hulk.
That's a woman.
What?
I'm sorry, that's a guy.
I'm sorry.
It's a guy.
One of my eyes doesn't even work.
It's for show.
Oh, you got one of them fancy show eyes?
See if you could feed one of those rolled up posters
to the back row, human caterpillar style,
from the front row.
Michael, I thought you would have learned
from my anus reference.
I don't want to mess them up.
This crowd's not into that shit.
I don't want to mess them up.
They're like intertwined.
I have to deal with some time later.
Do you see that?
It's complicated.
All right, well, that guy over there,
get together with whoever wins the prize bag
and make sure you get your poster.
Do that.
It's definitely a dude.
It's somebody's phone talking to you.
It's somebody's phone talking?
It could be.
Yeah, it's Siri.
What's Siri want?
She said,
Go with the human caterpillar idea.
Siri's dumb, never mind.
She just goes off in your pocket?
It's a he.
Let me out of here.
You did?
I did.
But you still call it Siri?
Its name is still Siri.
Siri's not a feminine name necessarily.
It isn't?
Why not?
Tell that to Siri Cruz.
Yeah.
Why not?
Tell that to Siri Cruz.
What do you got for the prize bag, Michael?
Let's hear it.
I brought for the prize bag, first of all, a bag.
Oh, great. Which is quite meta.
It's beautiful.
I like that bag.
This is a bag that I was given that I just thought was a little bit too girly for me.
But not for a Doug Loves Movies audience.
And then inside that bag,
celebrate your wonderful political system.
A special collector's edition of JFK.
A political person who got shot.
One of many political people who got shot. One of many political
people who got shot who were, I think
we can say good people.
I don't want to put the idea into anyone's head, but
how about shooting Trump?
It's not a felony
to threaten to kill a
candidate.
No.
Not until after the convention.
Not until after.
We've got to wait for the...
You can say that
until after the convention, Michael,
and then you've got to zip it.
Okay.
If he's the nominee,
no more of that talk.
No more.
Okay.
Yeah.
Then...
You know that one of your presidents
was shot by an actor?
Interesting point to bring up.
Just saying.
Just trying to tell us to
avoid the theater.
Yeah.
The play was just so
boring. Even the actor got so boring.
He had to shoot the president.
I'm going to break my leg and shoot a guy to get the fuck
out of this play.
Who have you got to shoot to get out of this thing?
So then we've also got a few to get the out of this play who have you got to shoot to get out of this thing anyway um
so then we've also got a few uh it doesn't even happen yet um uh a few other films so there's uh belle du jour and then you want to oh classic yes natalie's gonna take that one yeah catherine
d'honneur getting all sexy with it. And Diabolique.
Pretty great movie. You brought a film school in a bag?
Yeah.
Vengeance is Mine, a Japanese serial killer movie.
Very, very good.
All Criterion Collection.
Then King of Comedy, a film that I watched recently again
that I hadn't seen in a while.
Oh my God, it's so good.
It's amazing. And it's so good. It's amazing.
And nothing's changed.
So ahead of its time.
I was talking, do you know Steve Merchant,
the guy who, Ricky Gervais did the British office?
And we were talking about it last night,
and I said, it's like that film came out, King of Comedy.
Everyone hated it when it came out.
Nobody thought it was any good.
And then years and years later,
suddenly almost every bit of comedy is made in the style of King of Comedy, that hated it when it came out. Nobody thought it was any good. And then years and years later suddenly almost every bit
of comedy is made
in the style of King of Comedy.
That kind of awkward,
embarrassing.
But it was just so
ahead of its time.
Yeah, yeah.
It was office awkward
but people didn't
enjoy that yet.
They hadn't learned
to enjoy that.
Alright, that's great.
It's very uncomfortable.
And then finally
Stephen King's
Salem's Lot, the book.
Oh, you put a book in there.
Is that what you guys like to read?
Aren't you going to expand somebody's horizons?
There you go.
Yeah, that's, what a bag.
Thank you very much.
Thank you to everybody for all these great prizes.
Yeah, I brought the only shirt.
I brought the only shirt.
I brought a shirt too, but it's long sleeve.
Oh, no.
Sorry, I got ten shirts.
Oh, okay.
That's how good you are.
I was buying it.
I thought they were even looked under your chair,
like that's where they were.
Ten shirts.
And I was following.
But all of that is going to be somebody's today when we start
playing some games, but first we have
to ask everybody a question.
And we'll start with you, Theo.
What was the last motion picture that you
saw? The last motion
picture that I saw? Yes.
We don't need to talk about still
pictures here.
I'm going to go with the motion ones.
Oh, Deadpool.
There you go.
Yeah.
I didn't know what that was for a second,
because you pronounced it that way.
Oh, yeah?
You said Deadpool.
Oh, yeah.
And I was like,
is there a movie about a pool that's dead?
Yeah, he's talking about the Clint Eastwood movie.
Yeah.
The Deadpool.
The Deadpool.
Yeah. But Deadpool. Yeah.
But Deadpool, one word.
Genetically, I'm speaking about Alabama.
Really.
Is that too much?
Sorry.
Okay.
Alabama's a Deadpool?
I kind of get it.
What about...
Great.
Put your microphone back.
Where it belongs.
But yeah, I saw Deadpool
and it was good.
Okay, good.
That's all we needed to know.
Just want to make sure
you're on the right side on this
because anyone who dislikes Deadpool
is no friend of mine.
Right.
I'd probably be all right with it.
Natalie, what was the last movie you saw?
I saw this documentary called the
champions which is about the dogs that were rescued from Michael Vick's dog
wrestling ring not wrestling wrestling if only they were just wrestling such a
big deal they would have been fine They could have just tapped out.
Dog Fighting Ring.
And it's about their recovery.
This organization called Best Friends took them all in and recouped.
It took years to get some of these dogs
to not be afraid of doors or people.
But it was great.
They all got good homes.
It's really interesting.
Is it true that Mickey Rourke is starring
in the next Pixar film about an old wrestling school,
and he does the voice of the old down-and-out wrestler?
I hope so. I hope that's true.
I don't know about that.
Where did that come from?
Is there some sort of joke in there somewhere?
I love the idea of a dog wrestling school.
And then I thought it would be great if it was anime as well.
You left out the dog part.
I guess we should have assumed that part.
You were just like, is there a Pixar where Mickey Rooney plays a wrestler?
Mickey Rooney?
Yeah, now we're talking.
That's what I was thinking.
He could be an Asian wrestler like he was in Breakfast at Tiffany's.
Let's have the bout right here.
Come on, Judy.
The plucky little shih tzu.
Who's got a great left hook.
Oh my God, it's right in itself.
It really is.
I'm liking this.
Hey, you're the voice of the rabbit
in the new Alice in Wonderland, right?
Yeah, that's right.
Nice.
I'm glad that character survived to the sequel.
Yeah.
Yeah, we've killed the white rabbit.
It seemed very unnecessary.
Well, I do think that, you know,
maybe an actor of color could have been given a chance
to play the White Rabbit.
Maybe someone tall, dark-skinned from an exotic island.
There was somebody here.
Quit tonguing shit,
because
now it's time to say...
What's the best tonguing play on words
I've ever heard in my life.
And why don't I get to say what film I saw?
Oh, I thought you did.
I thought you saw a movie in your head
starring Mickey Rooney.
What was the last movie you saw?
I'm excited to say it because the last film I saw
also happens to be my favorite film of the last year.
Which is a film called The Lobster.
Has anyone seen The Lobster?
I've only heard good things, tell us more.
It's so great.
It's by this Greek director called, I think,
Yorgos Lanthimos, I think, and it's the first film
he's done in the English language,
and it's Colin Farrell and Rachel Weisz
and Lea Seydoux and Olivia Colman and Ben Whishaw.
And the basic premise is that everyone has to go to this hotel
in the middle of the countryside for 45 days.
And if at the end of 45 days they haven't found their soulmate,
they get turned into an animal of their choice.
If that sounds good to you,
watch the lobster. If that sounds good to you, watch The Lobster.
Maybe not good, but definitely intriguing.
Oh, it's so good.
It's so good.
It's unlike anything I've ever seen.
Yeah, I can't think of a thing
where that is even remotely the premise.
It's pretty special.
Who wants to be a lobster?
Who wants to be a lobster? Who wants to be a lobster?
We have from the talkative front row.
The answer to that is Colin Farrell.
You already got a B.
The Lobster,
appearing in cinemas near you
a year ago.
All right.
Yeah, it's been on the festival circuit
and I just missed it
and I do want to see it.
But I would highly recommend it, really,
because not many people saw it
and it is absolutely brilliant.
All right, check out The Lobster,
and then send your complaints directly to
at Michael Sheen.
No, send your thank yous for telling me about that movie,
which I've gotten a lot of this year for Bone Tomahawk.
Ah.
Yeah, ever since I mentioned that on the show,
people either say, you know,
thank you so much for recommending that,
or no thank you for putting that one sequence into my head
that I'll never forget.
It has a brutally violent sequence
that I apologize for that,
but it also adds to the power of the film.
I don't know anything about that movie,
but it conjures up the same kind of images
that his T-shirt box conjures up.
A movie named Bone Tomahawk.
Yeah, it sounds like...
Maybe that's not what it's about.
Sounds like you use it for whacking?
Is that what you're...
I don't know.
I am intrigued.
It's a Western, and I have no idea why it's called that. There's a western and I have
no idea why it's called that. There's a reason
but no reason to get into it.
See the lobster and now
let the
games begin!
Lots of people made name tags, lots of people brought donuts,
but each of you on stage get to pick just one person to play for today
in our round of games.
And while you do that, we'll do this.
We'll be right back after these words from me.
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Back to the show.
We're back and Theo is feeling terrible
about picking a box of donuts.
Oh, I'm sure they're delicious.
I don't feel terrible about it.
But it's a name tag that says it's a Max, Max, Max,
Max World and then he just put it on
a bunch of donuts. And then
don't say this part out loud because that's
for the end of the show.
If you don't prevail today, then I will say that.
Well, he might win.
We gotta play some games.
But which one of these donuts do you want, Theo?
I just want one of them.
Which one, though?
I'm gonna have this one right here.
Take the one you want.
I'm probably gonna have this one right here
that already has acne.
I just caught that!
That's crazy!
Oh man, you guys are so good!
Uh-oh, a bar's coming in!
Coming in hot! Yeah!
Wow!
Yeah!
We're monsters!
We did it!
See, that's why...
I'll take this now.
That's why people bring donuts,
because they know that's going to happen.
I always just throw them back out into the audience
because I don't want their fucking donuts.
Yeah, I never knew that about you, but that's wild.
It's a tough way to learn.
Nope, we don't want any more donuts.
Speak for yourself, Doug.
I mean, she might take the whole box home with her later.
Doug, you have the weirdest group of friends I've ever met.
It's true.
This is just all of my friends.
Everyone I know in Los Angeles comes.
That's why I don't pick a name tag tag because I can't do that to my friends
who are you playing for Natalie?
I am playing for someone who I assume
is named Perla
and her excellent
excellent gigantic name tag
is a play on
the movie Pineapple Express
Perla Express
and her face is on Seth Rogen's body
my favorite part of it is the hashtag
which says zero to Chola.
I love that for so many reasons.
And it says, from the girl who brought you many hugs.
Yeah.
She changed it from the man who brought you whatever, Last American Virgin or whatever
it said.
It's wonderful.
To the girl who brought you many hugs.
Well, probably said the man who brought you the pregnant one
knocked up.
Is that what it said?
Good job, Perla.
You've only heard the show once?
I heard actually the first one you ever did.
You heard the first one I ever did
and then you figured out to do this?
That's a lie.
I listened to your first podcast with David Cross
years, years, years ago.
And then I kind of got into NPR warm-up.
Is this really happening?
She's your sister.
At the end of the story, she's your sister.
Someone else made that for you?
You should have never said that
because I'm going to have her select another name tag.
I'm just kidding.
I would have refused.
Yeah, she's got your back.
Yeah, okay.
So she listened to the first...
Let me just tell you quickly what she said
if the home listeners didn't hear.
She listened to the first one I did years ago,
probably about 10 years ago, with David Cross.
It was probably about 20 minutes, half hour long.
We didn't play any games.
And then you, oh, so then you listened to a recent
one. Alright, you're terrible at
answering questions.
No, I know.
You're going to make a speech again.
Have you heard the show? Yes, once,
you said. Now it turns out twice.
Are you Donald Trump?
Who are you playing for, Michael?
In a blood-curdling coincidence,
given that one of my prizes was a Stephen King novel,
someone, I don't know what her name is,
we'll have to ask later.
I'm guessing it's that.
That's the joke.
Sorry, sorry. Don't worry. I guess I guess that. That's the joke. Sorry.
Don't worry.
Natalie's all,
the emperor's naked!
The emperor's naked!
Don't worry.
It's too hot for this hat.
This lady has got one of the,
a film of the very first Stephen King novel
I ever read, which is
Christine.
There you go.
And what's your name, my darling?
It's still kind of work, that joke.
It's Teen.
Her name's Teen.
I'm sure we've had some Teenas over the years
who've used Christina and just slapped
an A on there.
Well, great job picking name tags.
But now you're going to play some movie-based trivia games.
And they're easier than you might think, Theo.
I like Family Man.
Have you seen that?
Don't panic.
We talked about this the other day.
I can't get over the fact that when just let's talk about movies,
the first thing Theo brings up is Family Man
starring Nicolas Cage.
It's a great movie.
He loves it.
It's good, isn't it?
At the end,
at the fucking airport,
I can't even get on a plane anymore
without looking back to see if somebody loves me.
But when you're at the gate,
no one can be anywhere near where you are
if they don't also have a ticket.
You're loved.
Don't worry about it.
And if someone actually did come running at you in an airport,
they'd be taken down, like,
but guns would be everywhere, wouldn't they?
Just be riddled with bullets before you got anywhere near.
That's so unromantic.
with bullets before you got anywhere near.
That's so unromantic.
Alright, so... I like that movie too, Theo.
Michael, you want to weigh in on
Family Man?
Sorry, I missed the first bit of this conversation.
What are we talking about? There's a Nicolas Cage
Don Cheadle movie
where... Oh, Family Man.
Alright, Theo gets a point.
That's my favorite movie.
We talked about this
the other day.
All right,
now I have to fan myself.
I do.
Oh, you like it?
I do love it.
All right, the first game
we're going to play is a little something
That we like to call
Doing lines with Mark
You guys wanna do some fucking lines?
Fuck is that Mark Wahlberg?
Yeah it is
What's up, Michael?
It's Mark Wahlberg. It is Mark Wahlberg, indeed.
For the listener at home, Michael and I just Voltroned.
How you guys doing? You doing good?
So thanks for being here, Mark.
We're a little rushed for time because things are just taking a while today
for some reason.
You're lucky I was in the neighborhood.
Yeah.
Donnie's been in an argument with a food truck
for two hours.
And I didn't have the heart to tell him nobody's in there.
Yelling at a food truck?
Yep.
He's like, open up.
And I was like, you know what?
I'm going to let you handle this, Donnie.
Just went for a walk.
Saw you were doing a show.
Well, if you didn't know this,
Mark Wahlberg has a pretty encyclopedic knowledge
of every line from every movie ever made.
I was either in them or should have been.
And so he's going to say a line
from probably a pretty well-known motion picture, Theo.
And you just say into your microphone,
just guess as soon as you think you know it.
All right.
As often as you want.
Just Theo?
Until somebody gets it.
No, all of you.
Theo just seemed kind of in donut land for a second.
It's kind of amazing,
but it's hard to get over that Mark Wahlberg's actually here.
That's what I say to mirrors.
When you grow up in a town with a legless cow,
you never see something like Mark Wahlberg.
Yeah. That was our Mark Wahlberg.
That was, should have named him that,
Legless Cow Mark Wahlberg.
Then it would have grew some and ran away, right, Mark?
Fuck yeah, as long as it gets its cardio in,
it can run as long as it wants.
All right, I don't know if you, okay, so...
Mark's gonna say a line from a movie.
He'll say some other stuff first really quick
because he likes to psych himself up.
Let's do this, Mark.
Look good, feel good.
Look good, feel good.
Okay, here we go.
This is the real part.
I never get here enough.
That's the problem.
Can you imagine this town in the rain?
In the 20s?
Imagine Paris in the rain in the 20s.
The writers, the artists.
Midnight in Paris.
It is midnight in Paris.
Way to go, Natalie.
All right, I'm going to go help Donnie get his money back,
or we're going to steal that fucking truck.
Mark Wahlberg, everybody.
And Natalie Morales for the win on that one.
Who the fuck?
How'd you know it?
Because he said Paris.
And also because he said the 20s.
In the 20s, yeah.
Although it was weird to have him say it.
Right, well, again, he'll be the first to tell you
he should have played that part.
And also, someone who's in it sitting next to you
who didn't beat you.
Right.
Well, you were this close.
Do you know what I did?
I was about to say it, and then I politely thought
I should let him finish first before I say it.
And then I thought, no, fuck that, I should just say it. And then I heard a lady start to say it. And then I thought, no, fuck that, I should just say it.
And then I heard a lady start to say it.
And then you said I should let her finish
before I say it.
You came in pretty fast, though.
Very good.
Thank you.
Well done, Moriarty.
Foiled again.
Come along, Holmes.
Our cab awaits.
Does your story of working with Woody Allen
align with everybody else's,
that he just sort of doesn't speak much,
but when he does, he's nice enough?
I did my very first take,
well, actually the rehearsal for the very first bit
that I did in that film,
which was a bit with the Rodin sculpture gardener,
and essentially the first take was just me
doing a long speech
about the statue.
And he said, let's do a rehearsal.
He didn't.
The first AD said, let's do a rehearsal.
I did the speech.
He came running across the garden going, no, no, no!
And he said it was so big what I was doing
that it was like, no, it couldn't work.
Now bring it down.
And I thought, let's go for a take, he said.
And I thought, right, if I fuck this up,
I'm going to be sacked because he sacks people.
And I haven't filmed anything yet.
What am I going to do?
Do I bring it down a bit,
in which case it may still be too big for him?
Or do I...
So I made a decision.
I thought, I'm going to do absolutely nothing,
and it'll be shit,
but at least he'll know I can go somewhere in between
and hopefully not fire me. So I did absolutely nothing, thinking'll be shit but at least he'll know I can go somewhere in between and hopefully not fire me so I did absolutely nothing thinking I
would sacrifice it he was like yeah that's much better okay moving on so that scene when you
watch it watch the terror in my eyes we only did one take so that's the take of you
and you can see a terrified actor.
There you go. Can't wait.
Watch that again.
All right, so.
No, it's a, I like that one.
It's a fun one.
It's a good one.
All right, so now we're gonna play
Whose Tagline Is It Anyway?
And that's the game where I say a tagline that's usually from the poster for a movie.
And you guys just, this will be individually.
I'll read it to you and then just jump in and guess.
You don't have to jump in.
I'll go to you directly.
So we'll start with Natalie.
Someone named Sean Ponds, P-W-N-S, on Twitter suggested this one.
What movie has the tagline, Natalie, boot up or shut up?
Huh.
Boot up or shut up?
I feel like it's some sort of army movie
oh people are shaking their heads no
people are
weird
told you
it could be like a boot up like a computer thing
interesting
oh god
I really have no idea.
Just guess.
Somebody whisper it.
No, don't do it that way.
That's not how games work.
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
Who do you think you are, Diamond Dallas Page?
Is it Pixels?
No, not Pixels.
Michael.
G.I. Joe.
No.
Theo.
Boot up or shut up?
Can we just make up a movie?
I would appreciate it.
Okay.
It won't be the correct answer, probably.
I would love it if you made up a movie
that ended up being the right answer.
These boots were made for Joaquin.
So it's kind of like a behind-the-scenes,
like the costume designer for the...
It's a docudromedy.
Yeah, okay.
Costume designer for Walk the Line.
All right.
Boots were made for Joaquin.
So none of you got that one right,
but of course it's just out of nowhere,
but it makes perfect sense when you hear it.
Hackers.
I knew it.
Hackers, yeah.
You thought it might be a computer thing.
Oh, balls.
All right, Natalie, we start with you again.
Okay.
Which movie has the tagline,
Gordon never gives up
Oh my god
Is it Gordon Gekko
But I don't think that's the tagline
Gordon
Who's Gordon
I'm thinking out loud guys
I'm talking with my mouth everybody
Gordon never gives up
That sounds cartoony.
Oh, God.
Gordon.
Let's go.
Just take a stab at it.
Why not?
I really want to win for Perla.
There's more games later.
This one's not that crucial.
Okay.
All right.
I was just going to say Wall Street.
I know that's not it.
Full title?
Wall Street, Money Never Sleeps.
That's correct.
Michael was dying to jump in on that one.
He figured it out.
I figured she'd never get Money Never Sleeps. Moriarty, you did it out. How'd you know it? I figured she'd never get Money Never Sleeped.
Moriarty, you did it again!
I was in that movie, which is why I got that,
because it's the craziest title.
Yeah, didn't like me with Midnight in Paris.
Why does Money Never Sleep?
Like, is money always awake?
Like, what does that mean?
Because money's on its iPhone all night.
That's awesome.
Yes. How'd you know it?
That's a really weird tagline.
She's in the movie.
She's worked with LeBouf.
Oh, yeah?
Yes.
Dang.
Oui.
Is it true you were doing a take
and Shia started screaming,
no, no, no!
Too big!
No. Too big!
Too awake!
But it is true.
It is true that Oliver Stone carried a gold brick around with him
and for good luck would rub it on Shia's dick.
Wow.
That doesn't sound good for Shia
or the brick.
How do you rub
a gold brick on your dick?
This made me go all Olivia.
That's a Bachelor reference by the way.
Perla got it.
Alright, so we're going to start with Michael
for this next round.
What movie has the tagline
never let your friends
tie you to the tracks?
Tie you up to the tracks.
Never let your friends tie you up to the tracks.
tie you up to the tracks.
Never let your friends tie you up to the tracks.
Never, I'm gonna repeat it slowly.
Okay.
Never let your friends...
Too big, too big.
Tie you up to the tracks.
Did you read for a sloths in Zootopia?
Wow, never let your friends tell you.
That seems like just a badly written tagline as well.
It's probably not the greatest.
Never let your friends tell you.
Do you have a guess?
Rango.
Nope.
Theo?
Good guess, though.
You seem like you had an idea Yeah you said you knew it
I thought I did
Say that
Say that title
I thought
No that's not it
I thought it was Ratatouille
Oh
Wait
Because like in the beginning
There's like this
Oh yeah there's a hole
And then they
Whatever dude
I was flipping between a couple movies.
You were flipping between Unstoppable and Ratatouille.
You thought it was a train movie.
What was it?
Natalie gets a shot at it.
Never let...
What is it?
Never let your friends tie you up to the tracks.
Okay, so I'm going to go...
Usually these are punny.
I'm thinking it's like a racetrack, not a train track.
But unfortunately, I don't know any racetrack movies.
So I'm just going to guess Seabiscuit.
Why would somebody be tied to the track?
Please let it be seen.
There was a tragic turn in the Preakness today.
When a dastardly man tied a lady up to the track.
No, it is a reference to being tied up to train tracks.
And tracks also has another meaning,
and the movie's called Trainspotting.
But isn't that a terrible tagline for Trainspotting?
It's a little too cheeky.
But it was an edgy movie.
It should just be, let's get fucked.
That should be the...
Yeah, or shit the bed.
All right, well, let's do one more
because this is too much fun,
and I think I got one that you guys will be able to get.
And we will...
You know what?
I'll throw this.
This is open to the first person who says it
of the three of you.
Someone named Bossman Kurt, K-U-R-T, on Twitter.
No, Bassman, excuse me.
B-A-S-S, Man, Kurt.
He suggests...
Bassman.
He might be a bassman.
You're right.
He suggested the final,
the following tagline,
and first one of you to say
the name of the movie
is going to win this round.
Shaft's his name.
Shaft's his name.
Christine.
Oh, shit.
But that guy sent me that.
He's like, here's a good one for whose tagline is it anyway.
Shaft's his name, Shaft's his game.
Which also, if you've seen Shaft or know who Shaft is,
that still doesn't even make sense.
Shaft is his game. doesn't even make sense. Shaft is his game.
I am my own game.
I am game.
Shaft never sleeps?
One eye open.
Alright, well that was a lot of fun.
Doesn't really mean anything.
What do you mean? I won one.
You did. You got one, Michael got one, but
like I said, doesn't matter.
I can still win.
Yeah, absolutely.
Especially because we're about to play maybe the easiest game ever invented.
It's called ABC Deez Nuts.
And it's a spelling game, Theo.
Since it was sort of a tie that last game, we'll start with Natalie and then go to Michael and then to Theo.
Since it was sort of a tie that last game,
we'll start with Natalie and then go to Michael and then to Theo.
And I think in honor of Natalie's popular TV show
that you can watch on Tuesdays at 9.30 at Fox.
Not really that popular.
She's on a very unpopular program.
Critically acclaimed unpopular TV show.
Please watch.
Let's spell out the grinder.
That's what we're going to spell today.
So when I come to you, Theo, I'll tell you a letter from
the sentence, the grinder, the title,
the grinder, and then you just name any
movie in the history of movies that begins
with that letter. Okay. No
make-em-ups. Any movie that I name. It's got to be a real
Wait, do we have to spell it? Anyone that you know.
So, unfortunately, there isn't
an F in the grinder,
so Family Man will not come up.
Say it.
It's good.
Also, it's The Family Man, isn't it?
So that would begin with a T.
Okay.
So keep that in mind.
Okay.
And we'll start with Natalie.
And the first letter in the grinder, of course, is T.
So name any movie that begins with the letter T, Natalie.
To Wong Fu.
Thanks for everything.
Yes, full title. Julie Newmar.
Yes, full title, always appreciate it.
I went with
To Kill a Mockingbird.
Yeah.
Is the game that we have to guess what you went with?
Yeah, well, if you match me, then you win automatically.
I forgot to mention that. Isn't the full title
Too Wong Fu, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar?
Yeah, that's what she said. She muttered the Julie Newmar
at the end. Okay.
Because she gives performances with nuance in them instead of just being big or nothing.
I was...
The answer was so long,
I was sort of going off to the dog wrestling school again.
And I missed the last bit.
I'm so sorry. I can only apologize.
Yeah, so I've written something down.
If you match me, which happens every once in a while,
then you win automatically.
I didn't know that was the point of the game, but...
Yeah, turns out it is.
I should...
I'm gonna go back to game show host school
and get my shit together.
I just forget which guests know and which ones don't know.
This whole audience knows how the
game works except for perla uh the letter is h michael uh hellboy nice little mickey
sequel yeah i haven't seen the sequel little mickey never sleeps
that's not it.
I went with a movie called High Crimes.
Did you ever hear of that?
Okay, so this is going to be rough on you.
Your next, no, the letter is E.
Just name any movie that begins with E.
Elf.
Yeah, perfect.
I went with Ernest Goes to Jail.
That's sad.
G is your letter, Natalie. Good Will Hunting.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, I'm going to be in Boston on May 28th.
I went with Ghosts of Mississippi.
All right.
Where I will not be in the near future.
I might be.
I might do a gig in Mississippi.
R.
Risky business. Good one. I went Revers gig in Mississippi. R. Risky business.
Good one.
I went reversal of fortune.
I is your letter.
Theo.
I.
I know what you did last summer.
It's weird how it's kind of hard, right?
Yeah, it's kind of hard.
But you can do it.
It's easier if it's just they have a letter I.
Oh, anywhere in the title?
I went with,
I don't know.
I went with Inherit the Wind.
Oh, yeah.
You know that movie?
Mm-mm.
It's about the Scopes monkey trial.
I know books.
I think I felt like,
no, I know more books probably.
Yeah.
Overall, but.
Would you like to borrow a copy of,
what book was it?
Which, Salem's Lot?
Yeah, I went.
Did you ever read that one? I was in the wrestling school again.
I have it.
Salem's Lot, yeah.
Where does Michael go?
Where have you gotten that story?
Wrestling school.
Mickey Rooney is in a chokehold with Judy Garland.
All right.
And Michael Vick is
coming back from the... Never mind.
Never mind.
And is the next letter Natalie?
I think
this is the name of a movie.
Neverland? Is that a movie?
It's Finding Neverland.
Fuck.
Thank you, Michael.
It's Finding Neverland, Fuck. Thank you, Michael. That's okay. It's Finding Neverland, Julie Newmar.
Never sleeps.
Is there a movie called No Good Deed Goes Unpunished?
You really can't just think of a...
I really can't.
Even one that begins...
You just said the word no.
I know.
Trust me.
The whole time you were answering,
I was just racking my brain it's tough
when you're on the spot I don't think so and also I told Theo no make-em-ups and
I have to apply the same rule to you opposite you told him yes make-em-ups. No, just now I told him no make-em-ups. Changed my make-em-up policy.
Okay.
Oh my god, I really cannot think of
an N movie at all.
Alright, well that's
okay. We can move over to Michael.
Do you have one that begins with N?
Nine.
I begin with the number nine.
It's spelled out. It's N-I-N-E. But I don't care. Either way it works. I went with the number nine. It's spelled out.
It's N-I-N-E.
But I don't care.
Either way, it works.
I went with North Country.
Yeah.
That could have worked.
D is your letter, Theo.
I know this one.
It's...
I think Dungstrike. That's not I think Dungstrike.
That's not anything.
Dungstrike?
That's not it?
Oh, it's gonna be.
Dungstrike is my next film.
Ah, too much pressure.
Oh, yes.
I don't like pressure very much.
Wow.
Dung.
Sorry, sorry about the pressure
Well
But there's no
I don't think there's a movie
Called that
I went with
Double Jeopardy
Oh
Yeah
So that's
By virtue of elimination
Michael's our winner
But let's see if he can
E as it was the next level
You raise your head
Wait is that not me
No you're out
Because you came up with
You did not say that
You said no
You said no
Something about something or other.
Yeah, I lost.
I had an E one.
E.
E.
Eraserhead.
No.
No, it is a film.
It's a film I've seen.
I know.
I went with Aaron Brockovich.
Oh.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So what do you guys, if you had to guess,
what do all the movies I've said so far have in common?
I haven't remembered what they are.
I didn't know that was part of the game either.
Well, I think I know what it is.
It turns out they were all,
all have courtroom situations in them.
Like the Grindr.
Yeah, exactly.
You put a lot of work into this.
So what do you think? Not this. So what do you think?
Not really.
So what do you think?
What do you think?
Runaway jury.
That's correct.
It's a match.
Did he win?
He did, yeah.
Not really.
I mean, it doesn't matter.
I was almost as excited then as I was when Mark Wahlberg came in.
Well, good fucking news, dude,
because we're doing another live.
Michael, you fucking call me
and I'm there for you, brother.
He's still here.
No, I was six blocks away and I heard my fucking name. Wow. He's still here. No?
I was six blocks away and I heard my fucking name.
It's like the bat signal.
You want to do a fucking line?
Feel it, feel it.
Yeah, let's do another line, I guess.
Since you're here.
Go ahead and guess what movie this is from.
He doesn't have to say Look Good, Feel Good again
because he did that earlier.
Look Good, Feel Good.
I think you guys are missing the point.
All I'm trying to say is, I want to say I had as much fun as I did when I was stuck in this place.
Partied with my friends as much as I could when I was stuck in this place.
Smoked as much weed and chased as many girls as I could when I was stuck in this place.
Here we go again.
From the top and less big this time.
Here we go again. From the top and less big this time.
You guys are missing the point.
I just want to say I had as much fun as I could
when I was stuck in this place.
He's good.
Oh, I know.
Drank and partied as much as I could
when I was stuck in this place.
I want to play.
I'm gonna play, what the fuck?
Hit me. It's old school. It is not old school. I wanna play. I'm gonna play, what the fuck? Hit me.
It's old school.
It is not old school.
I thought it was too.
All right.
Sounds like something Vince Vaughn would say.
Had as much fun with my friends as I could
when I was stuck in this place.
Smoked as much weed and chased as many girls as I could
when I was stuck in this place.
This is Vince Vaughn.
This is a separate piece, I think.
You want another line, same movie?
You want another line, same movie?
Sure. Okay, here we go.. Star Wars The Force Awakens.
Watch The Leather Man.
What?
Watch The Leather Man.
It's about cattle.
Somebody thinks they know it.
Watch The Leather Man.
Watch The Leather Man. Watch The Leather Man. Oh, it's the Leather Man.
Watch the Leather Man.
I know the genre.
Oh, she's got the genre.
Do you know a third line from it?
Yeah, we can go all fucking day.
Okay.
Don't yell at Mark Wahlberg, dude.
Are you nuts? I don't know.
Are you trying to work in this town or not?
Check this out right here.
What you got right here is a four-barrel carbureted piston
that was shaved off the top. Are you serious?
I put a.350 stock into this thing and it can do
2.5 off the line. I can do that
all day. See, what you got right here is I got
a four-barrel stock in this with a carburetor with a
.350 dropped in. I shaved the pistons off the
top and you can do 2.5 off the line
all day.
I'm going to give you one more and if you do not get it...
We can play the game where you say the title
and we repeat it back as fast as we can.
I feel like the Mark Wahlberg-ness of it all
is really serious.
For the listener at home and the people in the audience,
put your fucking hand up if you know what movie this is.
I hope people at home put their hands up.
The entire audience put their hands up.
Okay, here we go.
Beyonce threw it, put her hand up.
Too fast, too furious.
Ready?
This little shit right here,
his mom came at me with a fucking shotgun.
This little shit right here,
his mom came at me with a fucking shotgun.
This little shit right here,
his mom came at me with a fucking shotgun.
Is it Talladega Nights?
It is not fucking Talladega Nights.
Is that a movie?
That's what Thea thinks it is.
Is that a movie?
You want to do another one? You have another here we go who is this guy who is he
son son you better sign that paper and don't think i haven't seen the people you've been hanging
around with i've noticed wow son you better sign that paper and don't think i haven't seen the
people you've been hanging around with.
I've noticed.
You ready for another one?
He's got a guess.
Michael's got a guess.
The fight that?
It is not the fucking final two.
Everybody knows it.
This is awesome.
So weird.
You ready for another one?
Is it Good Will Hunting?
Yeah, let's do another one.
Good Will Hunting he wants to know.
Theo keeps asking me.
Ready?
Here we go.
Who are we asking?
It's up to Mark.
All right, dude. Mark knows the answer. I'm asking me. Ready? Here we go. Who are we asking? It's up to Mark. All right, dude.
Mark knows the answer.
I'm playing, too.
Look better, feel better.
Oh, he really wants to sell this one.
All right, dude.
I'm going to give you shotgun,
but only because I'm going back inside.
You can have it.
All right, dude.
I'm going to give you shotgun,
but only because I'm going back inside.
You can have it.
You want another one?
You all are a disgrace to the game of pool,
and you're even lucky that I let you play at my table.
What?
You all are a disgrace to the game of pool,
and you're even lucky I let you play at my table.
Rounders.
I'm gonna give you one more.
Okay, I love that you,
I wanna see how many lines you know.
Fine, this won't even be the giver.
Here's another one. I know you, right want to see how many lines you know. Fine, this won't even be the gimmick.
Here's another one.
I know you, right?
Yeah, we had science class together.
I know you, right?
Yeah, we had science class together.
Okay, here's another one.
You already guessed Good Will Hunting.
It's not Good Will Hunting.
When Peggy Sue got married.
No, here we go, another one.
It's like the law of nature, you know what I'm saying?
All I have to do is go in there,
get one good shot,
and then everybody breaks it up
because you just don't want
to disturb the herd.
It's like the law of nature.
You know what I'm saying?
All I got to do is get in
one good shot,
and then you just don't want
to disturb the herd.
Is he talking to us or you?
I'm talking to everybody right now.
He's saying all of these
have been lines
from the same movie.
They are from the same movie.
And none of us have been able
to guess what it is.
And the entire audience knows.
Not the entire...
Raise your hand if you don't know.
Yeah, there's plenty that don't know.
What was the second one?
If you raise your hand, get the fuck out of here.
No, come back, Doug.
Doug, come back, dude.
Damn, Mark Wahlberg's cool.
I feel like it's on the...
I should have let Doug go.
I finally could have had this show.
Okay.
You want another one?
Yeah.
Okay.
I just can't figure it out.
I can't either.
It's so...
It's interesting to hear a movie
if Mark Wahlberg played all the parts.
Yeah.
Or has it been all the same character talking?
No, he moves around, bro.
Okay.
I know you're versatile.
All right, listen up, you freshmen bitches.
Dazed and Confused?
It is fucking Dazed and Confused.
A couple of times I thought it might be Dazed and Confused,
but it wasn't like McConaughey lines or anything that I... I love all those fucking lines.
Yeah, it's a great movie.
All right.
You probably love it because of all the hazing, right?
Oh, fuck yeah, dude.
Putting people in their place.
If you could paddle everybody all the time, you would totally do i wouldn't have to i'd be like paddle yourself you deserve it
all right everybody
playing the entire cast of days of confused he's awesome yeah my next guess was going to
be american graffiti now oh yeah that, yeah. That would be close.
That would be close.
It's in the same genre, sort of.
I keep getting older, but the girls, they stay the same age.
Working on my Mark Rubio impression.
All right, so let's play one more game game and this is the one that this is for
all the chips so everything has happened prior to now doesn't really matter yeah i mean it matters
because you know you want to win and have fun yeah you've done well this game you're going to be
great at i have a good feeling about you i don't know yeah we're going to play last man stanton
Yeah, we're going to play Last Man Stanton.
In this game, Theo, this is exciting.
If you can't come up with an answer, one time you can use a lifeline.
And that lifeline is the person whose name tag you pick.
So that dude over there has to help you out.
Yeah, I don't have a name tag. And Christine has to help out Michael if Michael needs help.
And Natalie, what's yours again?
Perla.
Of course, Perla.
She's going to be a lot of help.
The lady who made the name tag
should also get to whisper the answer
in Perla's ear if we need help.
Okay?
All right.
And the idea of the game is we we're gonna get the name of an actor or actress and we just have to take turns naming movies that person was in if you
can't think of one you're out I can do it and you're out now for good I can
yeah we like exact titles like Wall Street, colon, money never sleeps.
Yeah.
Boogie Nights.
Yeah, that's an exact title.
Good example, Theo. Yeah.
Okay.
At
Congo Man.
Congo Man?
It's you?
This is fucking crazy.
This happens more often than not.
I'll pick somebody to come up with the starter name
for Last Man Standing,
who also ended up getting their name tag chosen.
So Theo, he gets to pick the name,
so you have even more advantage now.
Make it easy on us.
But also, he's your lifeline, so he's going to pick somebody that he knows a lot of their movies. Make it easy on us. But also, he's your lifeline, so he's gonna
pick somebody that he knows a lot of their movies.
Make it easy on you. I would hope.
He said he had a good
name. He wrote to me on Twitter, so let's
hear it. Joe Pesci. Joe Pesci.
Yeah. Interesting. But you only get
one use of the lifeline. Yeah.
And you can use it right out of the gate
if you want. Whenever you want to use it.
You don't have to wait until you're absolutely desperate.
Who goes first?
You do.
Yeah.
Me?
Who won that last game?
Who said shaft first?
We did, but we were tied from the last two rounds, I think.
But you said shaft first.
I just told you you get to go first.
You questioned it.
And then when I said...
I went first.
Oh, you sure did.
All right.
So she says my cousin Vinny,
and which way are we going, Michael?
Casino.
All right, well, if we're doing that,
if we're just getting those out of the way,
I'll go ahead and say...
You play, too?
Yeah, for fun.
Okay.
But what if you use one of ours that we were about
to use? That would be bad for you.
That would be something that you'd be like,
ooh, that didn't work out so great.
Alright, but I'll say, I'll help you out a little
bit, Theo, and I'll say one. There's no way in hell
you were going to use Gone Fishin'.
Home Alone. What? with you and I'll say one. There's no way in hell you were gonna use gone fishing.
Home Alone. What? Yes.
I would, when Natalie started to object, I was like,
yeah, he wasn't in that.
Of course he's in it.
Natalie.
I'm gonna guess on this one, Goodfellas?
That's a guess?
Is this game a clown to you?
Michael.
I know.
Pesci's a tough one.
Can it be a film that he's a character in?
What?
I like where you're going with this.
Jersey Boys.
He's a character in Jersey Boys. What does that mean? Like somebody's playing Joe Pesci? Joe jersey boys he's a character in jersey boys what does
that mean like somebody's playing character in the jersey boys all right i'll take it i don't
like taking it yeah there's audience members take it you know you like taking it from your mic um
whoa i thought we were gonna be cool about all that um from your mic. Whoa.
Thought we were going to be cool about all that.
I'm going to go with another one that Theo
probably wouldn't say.
Just to try to help you out a little bit.
And I'm going to go with...
No, you'll probably say this
yeah
if given the chance
yeah
Home Alone 2
lost in New York
no
dang dude
you know that's the only one
that I knew
you got your lifeline
yeah you got your lifeline.
Yeah, you got your lifeline.
I just don't know if I trust this guy.
No offense to you, man, but I just don't know him.
He's the one who picked Pesci.
Oh, yeah, right. It was his idea.
Not bad, dude.
Not bad, man.
Let me think for one more second,
because I'm going to have something in my head that's right.
You might have another one.
Joe Pesci?
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah. Oh man.
Okay.
I think, I think, I think, I think Joe Pesci
is kind of a wild guy.
I'm gonna use my lifeline alright
raging bull
he says raging bull
of course
is that right
raging bull
good answer buddy
I think he took home
the best supporting actor
Oscar for that
yep I think you're right
I think maybe
maybe he's good fellas
Natalie
I too shall use my lifeline.
All right.
Where's your lifeline at, Perla?
Lethal Weapon 3.
Lethal Weapon 3.
I like it.
I like that a lot.
Michael?
Good job, Perla.
Nice.
Yeah, very nice.
I'm going to use my lifeline because I suspect that the Snickers commercial is not going to happen.
But we will not accept a Snickers commercial.
No Snickers adverts allowed.
So where's your lifeline at?
Where's Christine at?
Do you have one, Christine?
I'm going to do Weapon as well.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, but you're not going to
because she said it.
What you're actually going to say
is a film that Joe Pesci's in, aren't you?
Please, God. Come on, you can do it. Come on, Christine, you can do it. What you're actually going to say is a film that Joe Pesci's in, aren't you?
Please, God.
Come on, you can do it.
Come on, Christine, you can do it. Just say it, Christine.
Come on.
I can't even see that far back.
There might be people whispering in her ear.
What?
Don't do it, don't do it, don't do it.
Take that back.
What'd she say?
Swallow what you just said.
Swallow it, never let it come out again.
J.F.K.
Turn it into
alchemy gold.
What did she say?
JFK! That's right!
You did the fucking movie!
You brought that has every actor in it!
I was giving her a chance.
I wanted her to have a moment in the sun.
I knew JFK.
I just wanted Christine to get in there.
I'm not in this for myself.
Oh, man.
The guy that runs my building knows a lot about movies,
and so if he was sitting where I am right now,
he'd probably say, the super.
Theo, have any more possibilities popped into your head?
Let me think about it.
I feel like I pretty much have to have an answer, so...
It's hard, man.
I can give you a little clue if you'd like it.
There's no JFK 2. Okay.
We haven't gotten around to making a sequel to that one yet.
JFK 2, he never wakes up.
Man.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm a visitor to your country.
I'm so sorry.
All right.
Can it be a movie-
You had a good run.
Can it be a movie that they did a voiceover in?
Yeah.
You know for sure he's a voice in an animated film?
Oh, I'm back in this game.
Unless Theo says the thing I'm thinking of.
I think- What is it?
I think it's Finding Nemo.
No, it's not.
Yeah, he's not in Finding Nemo.
No, we don't need to look that up.
I think he was like the darker fish.
No.
I don't know where you're going with that, but I'm sorry.
What's all the dark in with that but I mean he
just it could have been him I feel like I lost you know you put up a good fight
and I'm gonna say shithead at the end of the show on behalf of the person you
played for so it was a good first appearance brother yeah yeah he picked
pesci yeah that's a good point.
You only knew one?
Well, he's not allowed to help you out more than once.
That's a good point.
He might know more.
Yeah, we got to study him.
Don't fight, you guys.
You're right.
I'm sorry.
Thank you.
Thank you very much, man.
Natalie's over there thinking.
I don't know if this is right, because I've never seen it.
Bring it.
But I think Get Shorty?
No.
No?
Does it seem like he would be in it?
Well, if you're going to be
the kind of person
that confuses him
with Danny DeVito.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
I didn't think
If you're somebody's mom,
he's in it.
Do you have another one, Michael?
You thought of an animated one?
Yeah, Shark's Tail.
Yeah, there you go.
Yeah.
In the States, it's called Shark Tail,
but in the international version,
it was Shark's Tail.
Exactly, yeah, that's right.
And Finding Nemo in some places.
Now,
it's my turn and I say that we said Lethal
Weapon 3. Very smart.
And I started thinking about when was he
introduced in the series? And it's
confusing because
they made four of them.
And so I'm
going to say Lethal Weapon 2.
And then he was also in 3.
But did he show up at all in 4?
He did a little bit?
A lot or a little bit?
They probably toned it down.
No? A lot?
Oof.
Because in the third one, it's like,
oh, no, too much of this.
Too much of this guy that won't shut the fuck up.
But I think everybody did a great job,
but Michael is our official winner.
Thank you. up but uh i think i think everybody did a great job but michael is our official winner
what's the one he was in where he was a homeless guy
within what with honors is he in that film that scorsese did that's like not a really a proper film, but it was with Scorsese's mother.
And isn't it called like Italian?
Oh, I bet.
The Italian Wedding or something?
Or How to Be an Italian?
Something like that.
Italian American.
What?
The Italian American?
And is Pesci in it?
No.
No.
Do they eat seafood in it?
Pesci?
What other movies did we miss?
Eight Heads in a Duffel Bag!
Eight Heads in a Duffel Bag.
It's fun to hear three people yelling that at the same time.
What else?
It's strangely limited.
You'd think he'd be in a lot more movies.
He's just a big presence.
He had a good run for 20 years, I think.
What else?
Easy Money, the Rodney Dangerfield movie.
Yeah, should have thought of that.
Betsy's Wedding?
Are you confusing him with Anthony
LaPaglia?
Who acts very Italian in that?
He was married to Catherine O'Hara.
Oh, okay.
Lady knows her shit.
Another mobster movie?
I think we hit all of them
that he was in.
Isn't Kit Shorty a mobster movie?
Yeah, but he's not in it.
Bronx Tale.
You knew it.
If only you knew it.
What?
Ah, yeah.
Nice. In what? The public eye. He plays a photographer. Ah, yeah. Yeah. Nice.
In what?
The public eye.
The public eye.
Yeah, the poltergeist.
He's a photographer in poltergeist.
Well, everybody did a great job today, I think.
Let's have one more round of applause for Theo Vaughn, Natalie Morales, and Michael Sheen. Christine, come get all
your prizes. There's a ton of stuff up here for you to come and grab. Don't go yet, you
guys. Hang on a second. Oh, she's whispering something to Michael. Did you want something
else? She didn't have a shithead, so I asked her to Michael. Did you want something else?
She didn't have a shithead, so I asked her to think of one during the show
and then give it to me when I won.
Right, but she doesn't get to say one because she wins the prizes.
Oh, that's right.
So it doesn't matter.
It's moot.
You get to get the prizes.
She gets all this stuff.
And share the poster with that guy over there.
We did that men's shirt
that's not a fleshlight.
There you go.
Congratulations, Christine.
And yeah, pass your name tag to me, Natalie,
because it's got a shithead on the back
that I'll read in a second.
And Theo, what do you got to plug, buddy?
Where can we see you?
On Netflix?
Yeah, I got a special I just started on Netflix
called No Offense.
It started streaming last Friday,
so you can watch it.
And thank you.
Thanks for saying that.
Front row love.
Yeah.
It ain't the wisest humor
in the world
but we tried our best.
Wow, you sound like
a political person
or like a candidate.
It was just you
doing your jokes, right?
Oh yeah, you're right.
Yeah, when you say we
that's weird.
Okay, well
but thank you anyway.
I hope you check it out
and Doug, thanks for having me.
Thank you, Theo Vaughn.
Thank you, guys.
Natalie.
Watch The Grinder
Tuesdays at 9.30 on Fox.
What's your lead in? What's the show that's on at 9?
Brooklyn Nine-Nine.
Oh, watch that too.
Why not?
But that's a good hour.
And then it goes right into the news at 10. Yeah yeah you stick around find out about the weather the next day like you
can't look at your phone and michael the great michael sheen has a movie coming out someday
stuff you'll hear about it you'll oh the word get out. Yeah. Are you about to go to work on anything?
Well, we start the next season of Masters
of Sex. When does that start up?
Well, not until June.
Alright, so we'll see you
again in a few weeks? Yeah.
Michael Sheen,
Natalie Morales,
Theo Vaughn.
I'm going to be
at the San Jose Improv
March 24th and 26th.
Douglovesmovies.com
as always and as always.
Donald Drumpf
is a shithead.
Here's your nice poster. You can have it back.
And
something you just don't expect to see written on the side of a donut box.
Dieting is a shit.
Once again, today's episode is brought to you by HBO Now.
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Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky
There's no room in his heart for you
Cause Doug loves movies