Doug Loves Movies - Michelle Biloon, Doogie Horner and Nick McIlwain guest

Episode Date: June 28, 2015

Live from the Helium Comedy Club in Philadelphia, Doug welcomes Michelle Biloon, Doogie Horner and Nick McIlwain to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California ...Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seats with 50-as-a-pup-of-turtles in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is I Love Movies. I knew that was going to be tight. There was even a little Jersey Boys lilt at the end. We're coming to you once again. I don't know how many times you've been here now.
Starting point is 00:01:00 I'm sure somebody in the audience knows. Probably four or five. From the Helium Comedy Club, and it's a you-know-what in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania! Pennsylvania, I say.
Starting point is 00:01:19 That's what I say. And, you know, it's weird. Like, normally you don't, when you're visiting a town, you'd like to have their finest weather. But there's something about, for once, like, usually when I do a show on June 27th, which I believe this is, 2015, but usually a show on June 27th, the outdoors is going to be nice and warm
Starting point is 00:01:43 and people are going to want to hang out outside. But the fucking weather here right now is like not only raining, but it's a little chilly. Not a lot chilly. There's still dudes walking around with shorts on in the rain. But I still don't feel so bad about
Starting point is 00:01:58 making you guys come into the basement for a show. Because you're not going to be outside right now. It's stupid weather. But, oh, I should mention, helium, like, somebody tweeted me that it's too hot in here, so if you could fix that, that'd be great, and if you don't fix it,
Starting point is 00:02:14 we're just going to continue anyway. Feels alright to me so far. Let me see your name tags, Philly. I know you brought some good ones. No Courtney for old men. Reservoir David. Alice in Wonderland. Your name is Alice? Alice and one Dylan. Okay. That sounds like you got some interesting plans for Alice. Sounds like you got some interesting plans for Alice.
Starting point is 00:02:47 Lee and... Lee and... It's Terminator. Or no. Oh, it's... What is it? Reanimator. And you put Lee at the front. Lee Animator.
Starting point is 00:02:57 Okay. I get it. Then next to you, two people who didn't bother. I love when front row seats don't even have a name tag. That's an extra level of dedication. Kung Fu double feature, but what's your name?
Starting point is 00:03:18 Kung Fu Amanda and Kung Fu Amanda 2? What's this cat's eye? What's that about? Your name is Cat? Catherine? Katrina? Oh, good for you.
Starting point is 00:03:32 Fifty Shades of Shara? I'm sorry, Fifty Shades of Sarah? There's a couple of blinking ones out there that they just look like Christmas has come early. Because I can't read what's on the sign. I see some donuts. We know what's going to happen if the donuts get picked.
Starting point is 00:03:53 But as always, thank you guys for bringing those. As always, I have nothing to do with the name tag selection. People send me their name tags on Twitter and go, please pick this one. And I write back, I don't have a part of that process. My guests get to pick whoever they want to play for.
Starting point is 00:04:10 And my guests are weird. Denver, Colorado, come hang out with me Friday night, July 3rd, at the Alamo Drafthouse in Littleton, Colorado for a pre-party followed by a screening of Chronicon episode 420, A New Dope. Everyone else can get it on VOD.
Starting point is 00:04:27 Oh, shit. Drop some of my games. You don't want to drop your games, everybody. Or any of it. I'm sorry, I'm going to have to start over. Hey, hey, hey, everybody! This is Douglas! Douglas, yeah, I was kidding about starting over, but...
Starting point is 00:05:01 Thank you for your participation. This is Douglas! I know it's starting over, but... Thank you for your participation. DUNGLOS MOVIES! But before July 3rd, Dunglos Movies returns to Tempe, Arizona on Wednesday. DunglosMovies.com for all my dates and deeds and links. From the corrections department, John Goodman was not in true grit. And from the me department,
Starting point is 00:05:35 please stop tweeting me that you have the perfect name for Last Man Standing. From my experience, you don't. 90% of the time, so it's like I got the perfect name. Fabian. And I'm like, what? They don't say Fabian 90% of the time, but you know what I mean.
Starting point is 00:05:56 If you think you have the best name, you don't. And I'm not going to pick people from Twitter anyway, so you don't need to tweet to let me know that you have a good name. Like tonight, I'm going to pick my favorite name tag that doesn't get selected by the guests. If we play Last Man Sten. Wow, that's complicated. It's unnecessary to put that on an audience. Just relax and enjoy the show, you guys.
Starting point is 00:06:26 No matter what happens. The prize bag has lots of fun stuff in it, including my latest CD, Promotional Tool. Yeah. This thing's kind of cool, but I don't want it. It's an Eon party starter and it's like a little disco ball and speaker
Starting point is 00:06:49 that you can hook up to whatever device you use to listen to music and fucking next thing you know you're going to have a party. That's not an ad. They're not a sponsor. It's just something I'm trying to get rid of. Along with a Douglas Movies t-shirt
Starting point is 00:07:07 and a bunch of other stuff contributed by my guests who I'm going to bring out right now. Please give a big warm helium. It's a gas in Philadelphia. Welcome to Nick McElwain, Michelle Balloon, and Doogie Horner! Let me introduce you real quick.
Starting point is 00:07:53 First time guest, Michelle Balloon, wins the Pete Holmes Award. Thank you. You've been on stage for two seconds. It's your first time. You're already winning awards. That's incredible. She's an award winning podcast guest. Michelle is a very funny comedian already winning awards. She's an award-winning podcast guest. And Michelle is a very funny comedian who I've known as a Los Angelino.
Starting point is 00:08:11 And you recently relocated to... Are you right, Smacky? You're outside. Northern Liberties. People love their Northern Liberties. People love to be able to take off a shirt. What's that, Doogie?
Starting point is 00:08:26 Southern Liberties, not so much. Take that flag down! Take the Southern Liberty flag down? It's got a big-spear bicycle on it. Two cappuccinos. It's got a big-spear bicycle on it. Two cappuccinos. So how do you like living on this side of the country, Michelle? I like it a lot.
Starting point is 00:08:56 I literally never been here until I stepped off the plane. There's water ice here. There's what? Am I doing that? Is that right? Water. It's water ice, but what did you say? Water ice?
Starting point is 00:09:07 Water. They pronounce it like water. Water ice? Is that annoying how I'm doing that to you? But it is, right? That's how it is. It's funny that you say that they pronounce anything unusually, because I don't find that when I visit. Like, people seem to not have an accent.
Starting point is 00:09:19 Have someone say water. Are you a Philly person? Yeah, at least not from the island. Say water. Say it. Water. Water.illy person? Yeah, he's not from the island. Say water. Water. It's spelled W-U-D-D-E-R. You know, no matter how you say it, we need it in California.
Starting point is 00:09:37 We're totally out of water in California. And we did a podcast together, Michelle, out in Los Angeles. Yeah, walking with Michelle. I don't know, I used to do it back in the heyday. It was in the beginning when Jimmy Pardo started his pre-WTF, pre-Douglas movies.
Starting point is 00:09:57 I was really close behind. You were close behind. It might have even been right when you were starting. But yeah, we went to Six Flags Magic Mountain. You gave me a THC pill and took me on roller coasters. And it was the scariest thing that ever
Starting point is 00:10:12 fucking happened. It was awful. You can't blame the THC pill on that. But yeah. But it's still out there for people to listen to if they want to. Walking with Michelle. The Six Flags Magic Mountain episode. Yes.
Starting point is 00:10:26 But you should get into it again. Hershey Park is right nearby. I am going to start up again. There's a thing in New Jersey. I am. I am going to start up the podcast again. Maybe next time we'll do one of the roller coaster parks together. That's what I'm saying, yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:40 But also just in general, there's so much fun stuff to do out here, and that was the premise of the podcast, right? You take another comedian and go do something fun? Yeah, I guess, exactly. We did Paula Tompkins and I went to Disneyland. Maria Bamford and I did Hollywood Boulevard. Jimmy Pardo and I looked for stars' homes. Yeah, it was great.
Starting point is 00:10:58 Really? We stopped. You just drove her out looking for people? We got a star map. Was he hoping to run into a guy from Chicago or something? What he's a fan of is weird. We parked out in front of Meatloaf's house for a while. I would not run into Meatloaf,
Starting point is 00:11:14 especially if he looked like he does in Fight Club. I don't like a big-titted Meatloaf. Also, very quiet there on the end and I appreciate your professionality Nick McElwain is here everybody another first time guest but the only guest on the panel who's not only part of the Preston and Steve show on
Starting point is 00:11:45 WMMR here in Philadelphia, but he's also been called a shithead on this show. How'd that happen? I don't know. Is the person who did that here tonight? No, okay. What a shame. Yeah, because at the end
Starting point is 00:12:05 of one of the Philly shows, I was like, Nick McElwain is a shithead? I was like, who is that even? And I had met Nick, of course, because I had been on Preston and Steve, but he's just Nick to me. I think I was here that night, too, because you've had Preston and Steve on before, and I think you've had
Starting point is 00:12:21 Casey on, but this is my first time. Yeah, yeah, I'm just going through the lineup. Kathy Romano's next. She'll never do it. And really, you don't want her to do it. Yeah, the second part of that is true, because she doesn't seem like much of a trivia nut.
Starting point is 00:12:39 She just seems like a lady who's good at telling people about the traffic. We all have our strengths. And it's fun to ride a roller coaster with because she screams like a total... Yes. Yeah. That was fun. She's very scared by it.
Starting point is 00:12:53 I did... We were in Hershey yesterday, which was awesome, and it was really cool of you to come again. But I did Kingda Ka with her in Great Adventure, and that's the really tall... You must have... Like, the whole time waiting to go on, she must have been begging to not do it. Well, there's a photo of her and me on Kingda Ka.
Starting point is 00:13:11 You get the snapshot when you're down the coaster. It's one of my favorite photos because she's a very beautiful person, but she looks like she's shitting her pants. Which is pretty hot. Person's super beautiful. You might as well include that look in their repertoire.
Starting point is 00:13:28 And Doogie Horner's here, everybody. Local phenom moved to New York City, blowing it up out there. Couldn't keep a straight face during the hype. You're killing it, man. You've been on
Starting point is 00:13:49 Douglas movies out there. That's the height of everything. But it's always good to see you and thanks for coming back to Philly for this. Yeah, sure. My pleasure.
Starting point is 00:13:59 I'd like to... My wife and I like to come back. My wife! It's just a nice place for my wife and I to go out to dinner. Or, you know, sometimes my wife and I visit friends and things. So it's always nice to
Starting point is 00:14:14 come back to Philadelphia with my wife. What did you bring for the prize bag? Don't say my wife. I didn't bring anything, but my wife brought... I brought my book, Everything Explained Through Flowcharts.
Starting point is 00:14:35 And then, because I already brought that one other time, I brought a graphic novel. Yeah, Everything Explained Through Flowcharts. It's a book I love. It's designed. And then, because I already brought that one time, I brought Batman the Long Halloween graphic novel. Very good. Very good graphic novel.
Starting point is 00:14:54 Hey, without spoiling it, how long is the Long Halloween? It's a lot longer than you would think. It's like one of those three-day Halloweens, you know what I mean? You get it on a Friday, and then you get off Monday, too. It's one of those, I guess, four-day Halloweens that you can... And Michelle, did you bring this? I did bring it. What's it... It's your CD?
Starting point is 00:15:13 It's my motivational CD. You can be an asshole. Who, me? You! You! Anyone. Anyone who purchases it or gets it through gameplay and since we were at Hershey Park Nick they gave us a meal ticket
Starting point is 00:15:31 that also has a little ticket on it for a souvenir cup and this is good until whoever wins the prize money tonight has until November 1st to get their ass out to Hershey Park and enjoy
Starting point is 00:15:46 this prize. That cup is pretty badass. I got one yesterday. It's a good cup? It's a great cup, yeah. It's a good cup? No. It's a great cup. What did you bring for the prize bag? I brought smut. So I brought
Starting point is 00:16:02 President Steve Callaghan. Two of those. And then for the ladies in the audience, I brought some President Steve girl shirts and boy shorts. And then for a guy, I brought some bumper stickers. How do President Steve feel about having
Starting point is 00:16:19 their name on boy shorts? I guess they're for girls, but they're called boy shorts. Right? They're into it. Why are they called boy shorts? I was they're for girls, but they're called boy shorts. Right? They're into it. They're into it. I was going to ask the same question. I thought they were called booty shorts. Booty, booty, booty.
Starting point is 00:16:33 I mean, if a boy wears this, that boy is very happy about what the Supreme Court said yesterday. So all of that is going to be somebody's tonight if you brought a name tag that appeals to one of my guests and then that guest turns out to be the winner
Starting point is 00:16:57 of all of the assorted games. But before we play, there's a question I like to ask all my panelists. We'll start with Doogie. What was the last movie that you saw? So there was a triple feature of bad dad horror movies at the theater near my house. They showed Night of the Hunter,
Starting point is 00:17:16 Eyes Without a Face, and The Shining. And we skipped the middle one, but so yeah, it was Night of the Hunter and The Shining. What do you mean you skipped the middle one? You went to dinner or something? Yeah, I just had to take a break. I had to go home and walk the dog. And you'd come back and still get a seat for the late one?
Starting point is 00:17:33 Yeah, yeah, I came back for The Shining. Alright. Bad move. What was the first one again? Night of the Hunter. Oh, yeah, yeah. Robert Mitchum. It's a really great movie Jinx what?
Starting point is 00:17:51 Jinx you owe me a Mitchum and The Shining of course have you ever seen Room 237 about all the conspiracies behind The Shining? no I haven't heard about it you should check it out it's good well it's interesting if you like The Shining? No, I haven't heard about it. You should check it out. It's good. Yeah, well, it's interesting
Starting point is 00:18:05 if you like The Shining. I heard somebody say, so like Danny's wearing a sweater that has the Apollo rocket on it, and somebody said that's proof that Kubrick helped fake the moon landing? That's exactly right. Is that right?
Starting point is 00:18:20 I'm convinced. Or it's Stanley Kubrick making a winking joke about how people say he helped fake the moon landing, but he didn't. Or it's wardrobe giving a kid a cute sweater.
Starting point is 00:18:34 That sounds unlikely. It could be any of those things. Go with the first one. Yeah, that's the fun of Room 237 is every conspiracy theory you're like, but wait a second!
Starting point is 00:18:45 And so you get to argue with it while you're watching it. That's pretty cool. What about you, Michelle? Have you been to the movies? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The last movie I saw, though, I took my daughter, my two-and-a-half-year-old, to her first movie in a movie theater after she promised that she wouldn't talk ever.
Starting point is 00:19:03 And Inside Out, not 3D. Two and a half year olds are so good at keeping promises. They are. That's what that movie is about. It's just the insane emotions that go on inside a child's head. Not until they're 12. Not until they're 12. Two was good.
Starting point is 00:19:20 Yeah. Well, the movie starts off early on. I saw it today, actually, so I could speak confidently about it. 3D? 3D? No, just regular. Yeah, well, you know, the movie starts off early on. I saw it today actually, so I could speak confidently about it. 3D? No, just regular. Just imagining the 3D, like, it's going to be all about depth. Like, they don't throw stuff at you
Starting point is 00:19:35 at any point during the film. No. So it might look a little bit cooler, but I was happy to see it in 2D. And you don't have the weight. Yeah, and you don't have the fucking glasses. You don't look like a nerd. I got LASIK to not wear glasses. To be forced back into it. Hey, nerd, welcome to your passion. Put these back on in order to enjoy it properly.
Starting point is 00:19:56 But it's a... Did you... What... So full of questions. Two and a half years old and promised not to talk did that really happen? yes I made a promise what kind of two and a half year old do you have?
Starting point is 00:20:10 she's amazing I asked her because when she watches a movie at home every Saturday night we do a movie night tonight's a movie night and she asks questions the whole time where'd the baby go? what did he do? what's his name?
Starting point is 00:20:21 where'd the baby go? what's he doing? where's he going? why is she that guy? What's he holding? What were you watching? Fast Times at Ridgemont High? That's the first movie with a horse in it that I can think of. Where'd the baby go?
Starting point is 00:20:44 But was she... Inside Out could be kind of confusing, I'd imagine. Did she save her questions for after? She did. Well, the way she asked questions is she goes, let's talk about Inside Out. Let's have a roundtable discussion, Mom. She wants me to recount the plot part.
Starting point is 00:21:04 I was like, I'm not doing that. Sorry. But yeah, no, she liked the movie. I could tell her what the fuck happens. But it is a hard... It is like... It's very... No, it's a lot. Is it your favorite character? There are points where you could lose an adult
Starting point is 00:21:19 watching that movie. Like, wow, this is really meta. And then a child, I just can't imagine. But the kids at the screening I saw were pretty chill the whole time. Well, that's good. They were annoying when I was trying to watch the end credits because I really like
Starting point is 00:21:36 to see who the seventh pencil stenciler is. But during the movie, they kept quiet. That's good. But I think it's best when there's a matinee where there's not a lot of kids. I think when there's a lot of them there, then they all hear other kids
Starting point is 00:21:52 asking questions and that just opens the floor. I told her, I was like, you hear another kid, they're being real bad and they're probably going to get hit later. You know how to not get hit. You're smarter than those other children. You know not to touch the fizzy lifting drinks.
Starting point is 00:22:16 Nick, what about you? You've got kids too, right? Some, yeah. Yeah. We saw Inside Out as well. Oh. And you really can talk either. Good. You can really talk either. I think your movie's brilliant. yeah oh good is it just that compelling you think
Starting point is 00:22:31 or is he always good at movies yeah I love when people teach kids to not talk in movies but it just seems like the parents who would talk during a movie are the ones whose kids talk during a movie they don't pass that along. Right, and that's the right movie for your kid.
Starting point is 00:22:48 It's an interesting movie to go see when you're in therapy. It's all about emotions. Is his mic on? Yeah, his mic doesn't seem too high. Yeah, I have a really loud voice. I can yell. Yeah, but we're trying to record this for the world. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:03 As much as I love everybody in this audience, there's a bigger plan. So hopefully his mic is working. Yeah, no, you're holding it perfectly. It's really good. There we go. Oh, hey! It was working before before though, right?
Starting point is 00:23:25 No I think it's always been This club is the size where you really don't need a microphone Alright Well, what's up everyone? Very interesting We'll have to bring you in for an ADR session And dump in all your
Starting point is 00:23:40 All your earlier lines in the show But luckily you didn't talk much anyway, so... I'm the only non-comedian up here, too, so you didn't miss a damn thing. Although I had a good line about Kathy. Taking a shit. Yeah, that was pretty loud. I like that Kathy's taking a shit, but...
Starting point is 00:23:58 Super hot. Yeah. I'm sure people will be able to hear you through Michelle's mic. All right. Yeah. So I saw Inside Out and I thought it was brilliant
Starting point is 00:24:07 I saw Jurassic World and I don't know if it yeah it was great and I love Chris Pratt and the dinosaurs are entertaining but no no no so I recently got into Edibles
Starting point is 00:24:22 and I took I'm sorry I'm having a hard time So I recently got into edibles. And I took... I'm sorry. I'm having a hard time. I'm having a hard fall of timing. I don't like smoking that much, but I do like edibles. So I took a chocolate scoop.
Starting point is 00:24:38 The idea that there might be dinosaurs made you take an edible? I just thought the movie would be a little more entertaining. I think you're right. Turns out I am. Absolutely right. It's not a freak year when you're high. I had really forgotten that I had taken it.
Starting point is 00:24:54 So we were early. I went with a friend and we took it at like 6.30 and the movie started at 7.30 and the movie's two and a half hours long. So an hour and a half in, I'm like, I had forgotten that I had it in the first place. And then,
Starting point is 00:25:07 I fell off a cliff. And I'm like, what the fuck is going on with all these dinosaurs? And then, at the end of the movie, I was like,
Starting point is 00:25:20 what were you, I thought you were at the movies. What is it? Why were you on a cliff? But, but you fell at the movies. Why were you on a cliff? But you fell off the proverbial cliff, and then were freaked out by that you
Starting point is 00:25:31 were watching a movie with dinosaurs in it. Yeah. And then we stood up, and as the credits were rolling, and I turned to her, and I was like, I am so fucking high right now. What did you think of the movie? She's like, I don't remember the last half of it. What'd your son say?
Starting point is 00:25:48 Yeah. WMMR. But if you haven't seen it, that's a good way to go I found it interesting that like the action you know Inside Out starts as a fairly cerebral exercise like let's follow all the emotions
Starting point is 00:26:21 but then it becomes an adventure movie about emotion trying to make its way back into somebody's brain. Not to give away too much. Spoiler. But yeah, the whole thing is very... Pixar is
Starting point is 00:26:38 amazing in the way that they can be shoving this crazy premise at you and still make it work. Yeah, and it was very complex, like all the things that they were premise at you and still make it work. Yeah, and it was very complex. Like all the things that they were bringing at you. Most kids cartoons don't make you go,
Starting point is 00:26:52 hey, I wish this would slow down a little bit so I could follow it. There's so much shit going on from all the different emotions all the time and then the real people whose emotions are representing. And then when they start going into other people's heads, I was like, fuck, this is crazy. Call me maybe.
Starting point is 00:27:09 But I'm a really big fan of it. It's definitely already my top three or four Pixar movies. I don't know if anything... He made it because his daughter was 11, and she was starting to not be happy all the time I have an 8 year old son and he's happy
Starting point is 00:27:26 95% of the time which is a great way to live life yeah but you should get him checked but I know what an idiot the kid's an idiot a happy idiot but I know
Starting point is 00:27:43 in 5 years he's not going to be happy all the time. And that's why Pete Docter made this movie in the first place, just to explore that. Yeah, and certainly they could make sequels because every age group of every child probably has this different set of problems.
Starting point is 00:27:59 And delights. I don't want to be all anti-kid or anything. You did call my son an idiot that was just a little Louis Black and Doug's head well that's a fun thing about the movie too is that all the emotions and one imaginary character are all the voices of people that are very you're already very familiar with them if you watch
Starting point is 00:28:26 NBC. The character of Sadness absolutely tears me apart because I hate everything she does, but it's so cute. Yeah. Like, Sadness is so cute, but also so infuriating. What? It was her favorite
Starting point is 00:28:44 character, Sadness. I don't know if so infuriating. What? It was her favorite character, Sadness. I don't know if that's, like, foreboding for her life. Oh, you're... Dick, did your son have a favorite character? Oh, he thought Anger was hilarious in Louis Black. Yeah, I think the boys are going to relate to Anger, and the girls are going to relate to Sadness, and things are never going to change.
Starting point is 00:29:04 When they go into the father's head we're talking about exploring the different characters in the movie they go into the father's head anger's in charge of the dad
Starting point is 00:29:13 and sadness is in charge of the mom and joy who's Amy Poehler is in charge of the little girl so it's interesting to see anger
Starting point is 00:29:19 taking over alright genius smarty pants Tell it to your kid Your kid needs a little bit of Smart talk Does your son listen to podcasts? Fuck no
Starting point is 00:29:41 Good call Good call That was a fun round of Fuck no. Yeah. Good call, good call. That was a fun round of what did you last see, but... But as everybody here knows, everybody's ahead of me on this one, it's time to say, let the games begin!
Starting point is 00:30:07 I'm mad, and I'm maded and I'd like some games everybody brought amazing name tags there's already some blinking out there like Christmas tree lights that people refuse to take down and there's food items but it's entirely up to you
Starting point is 00:30:24 panelists lady and gentleman there's food items, but it's entirely up to you, panelists, lady and gentleman, go pick, go physically take the name tag you like to play for and bring it back to your seat. And while you do that, we'll do this. We'll be right back. Hey, starting your own business? They'll say you're crazy to put everything on the line to be your own boss, but not GoDaddy.
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Starting point is 00:31:13 Sound expensive? It's not. For a limited time, GoDaddy's Get Online Today toolkit is just $1 a month. I'd buy that for $1. $1 with the purchase of an annual plan. GoDaddy provides award-winning phone and chat support 24-7. If you have a problem or need help figuring out what products are right for your business, just call them up. Try the Get Online Today Toolkit from GoDaddy.com and get a domain name, a website, and email for only $1 a month. Oh yeah, the web hosting and 24-7 live customer support.
Starting point is 00:31:46 Totally free as well. Check it out at GoDaddy.com slash Doug. That's GoDaddy.com slash Doug. Domain included with annual plan only. See site for details. Back to the show. Alright, everybody's got a name tag. We're back.
Starting point is 00:32:09 Don't read the shithead on the back, how loud, whatever you do, but who are you playing for, Nick? Where would the name be? Oh, Chris? Yeah, Chris Richmond. What's the poster of? It's got blinking lights on it and a stick to hold it.
Starting point is 00:32:23 Chris is with the cranks, and then it has a photo of you, Doug. And then I assume this is a photo of Chris. Is that right? Yeah. Yeah. And just the fact that instead of... Who was in that movie?
Starting point is 00:32:34 Ben Affleck? Tim Allen? Tim Allen was the lead. And Jake Busey and Cheech Moran and Jamie Lee Curtis. Sigourney Weaver was not in it. Did the guy in the audience think Sigourney Weaver was in it? I just like to deck the halls. The fact that there exists a Christmas with the Cranks poster still is why I grabbed this one.
Starting point is 00:32:56 Oh, and they had a website, thecranks.com. Oh, I'm sure that website was jumping. So much to know and learn about Christmas with the Cranks. I can never get on that website. It's always, like, overwhelmed. I do like, though, in the audience, it just looked like a sign with Christmas lights on it, but I like that it's actually a Christmas movie
Starting point is 00:33:16 and you didn't just use Christmas lights to get our attention. It's all nicely themed. So good job. And what's the name of the person? Chris. Good job, Chris. Michelle, who are you playing for? I wanted to get something from the back, which I did. I love this movie,
Starting point is 00:33:32 North by Northwest, and it's Noah by Northwest. That's who I am. You know, everyone here, it's like the Oscars. You can't really get a big round of applause after everybody's lost. Everybody's like, I want to say I know a West, but... Oh, that's the other problem with it.
Starting point is 00:33:53 It's not a belt, okay, Doogie? It's not a belt. He was under some sort of time pressure. Couldn't change north twice. I don't have enough letters. I don't have enough fonts. My computer's too small, so 13-ish. My computer's too small. I shouldn't do this on my phone. Who are you playing for, Doogie? This is impressive.
Starting point is 00:34:17 It is amazing. Pan. It's a really cool... It's somebody named Pat, but this is like a real wrestling belt. Yeah, this is a real wrestling belt. Do you get to keep this? It's heavy. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:34:30 It says WWF on it. I feel like even if I wanted to keep it, the guy who owns this would just beat me up. And just take it. But yeah, it's a big, heavy... Where is Pat? Where'd you get this from? He's not going to beat you up. I'll fight you for it.
Starting point is 00:34:42 Why do you have this belt? What? Did you win this? No. No. Got it on eBay when they stopped selling Confederate flags. I don't know why I gave you a southern accent The fondness of flags
Starting point is 00:35:07 But good job Pat You got picked And Doogie's got just as good a chance As anybody at winning today And I just noticed That Nick's wearing shorts Which I admire It's cold out
Starting point is 00:35:22 It's cold and raining And you, yeah. It's cold and rainy and you just end up like, oh, I got my shorts on. Yeah. And I'm going from here to Camden, lovely Camden,
Starting point is 00:35:31 to see the Dave Matthews concert after this, so that should be Oh, that's why you got the shorts on for Dave Matthews. The Dave show.
Starting point is 00:35:39 You're gonna jump around and get hot. They got a guy with scissors at the front door if you're wearing pants and cuts along.
Starting point is 00:35:48 You gotta show them your son tattoo if you don't have one. They can just see. Let's cut Nick's microphone. That was working out good. Of course, Preston, Steve, and Casey have all been on. Did any of them win? I don't think any of them ever won. I think they'd brag about it
Starting point is 00:36:12 if they did. I haven't heard a word from them about it. So Nick has a chance to turn things around for the President and Steve challenge. And we've got a series of games to play. And we're going to start with a little something. What's the matter, Michelle?
Starting point is 00:36:31 I was just, Doogie and I were like, She was trying to talk. She said, I'm going to fuck you up. You were shit-talking? I'm going to slap you like a two-year-old, two-and-a-half-year-old talking at a movie. Fair enough. I'm going to turn you inside out.
Starting point is 00:36:45 Oh, shit. Want to feel some sadness? Alright, so this first game is called How Much Did This Shit Make? And, you know, out of deference to Philadelphia and its people, I thought, you know, what is a shitty movie
Starting point is 00:37:06 that was made in Philadelphia? And I didn't come up with a shitty movie, but I came up with an interesting movie to play this game with because it's not going to make any more supposedly. Supposedly Rocky Balboa
Starting point is 00:37:21 is the final Rocky movie. But the question, are they going to make another one? They're filming it? Is that why he ran by earlier? Is that why I couldn't go up the steps? They were like, take the elevator, we're filming. I think he's going to have to take the elevator.
Starting point is 00:37:47 He goes to the art museum, he's like, do you have a ramp? Rocky VIII, the expandables. Is there another lower art museum? The Barnes. Okay, I'll go there. Him walking through the automatic door of the barns, pushing the button.
Starting point is 00:38:10 You're getting very confident wearing that belt. It really makes you feel... I feel like a champ. Like the Hulk Hogan. Can I... Whatever. I can't hear you do it. I can't.
Starting point is 00:38:20 We'll start with Doogie then. That's good enough. Since Doogie's so cocky, we'll start with Doogie then. That's good enough. Since Doogie's so cocky, we'll start with him. And you have to tell me how much money Rocky Balboa, a.k.a. Rocky VI, how much money that movie made at the box office according to Box Office Mojo during its entire domestic run. So it's up to this date.
Starting point is 00:38:44 So it's just theatrical release and it's just in this country? Mm-hmm. North America. We like to get Canada involved. Yeah. I feel like that wouldn't make a huge difference. You'd be surprised.
Starting point is 00:38:58 The country is the same width as ours. is ours. Got a lot of people in there. I'm really bad. I'm really bad at this. 55 million? Okay. That's a number. Is this blue?
Starting point is 00:39:22 Is that a number? That doesn't make it a bad guess. Michelle, what do you think? I'm going to go 32.5 mil. Oh, I like the.5. That's an expressive some guy who bid one in the audience
Starting point is 00:39:38 trying to encourage maybe Nick to do that classic Price is Right move. Don't go over. But Nick, yeah, you can't go over. How much do you think we've got? 55 and 32.5. Yeah, it's a good movie.
Starting point is 00:39:54 What do you say, Nick? I think 72 million. 72 million. That is a really, really interesting bid. What's that? I should have Taking the one. What's that? I should have taken the one. Oh. Price is right.
Starting point is 00:40:10 All right. I'm sad to say, Nick, that your guess was so almost accurate. Whoa! That you did not win this game. Yeah, Doogie Horner's close enough, closest, without going over, with $55 million, because it made $70.2 million.
Starting point is 00:40:33 Oh! You just pronounced it wrong. You said 7.2, and you said 70, 72. You just moved the period. 72. That's been in my head for a long time. 70 million.
Starting point is 00:40:49 That's certainly probably with the video and ancillary rights, it's probably worth making another one. It's going to be called Creed. Good for you, Sly. Really? Yeah, it's about Apollo's grandson. His grandson?
Starting point is 00:41:06 Who is it? Damon Wayans Jr.? No. Is it called Let's Be Fighters? It's Michael B. Jordan, I believe. Oh, really? Well, then it's great already. It's good.
Starting point is 00:41:19 Is that Michael Jordan? Yeah, it's Michael. Instead of Jr., you put a B in there. Is he related to Michael? It's not going to be Michael C. Jordan. What? Wait, is he Michael Jordan's son, yeah, it's Michael. Instead of Junior, he put a B in there. Is he related to Michael? This one's going to be Michael C. Jordan. What? Wait, is he Michael Jordan's son? No, he's not.
Starting point is 00:41:29 He's a guy with a common name. Sorry. You don't know Michael B. Jordan? No. He's going to be in the new Fantastic Four. He was in Fruitvale Station. He was in... I don't know.
Starting point is 00:41:41 Wallace! I love all the answers being yelled at. That one was the last thing I said. That one played last night at Stanley. But yeah, he's good. He was in that awkward moment, but don't hold that against him. That was just an awkward moment. Let's play now Buscemi, Now You Don't. We'll start with Doogie
Starting point is 00:42:05 because he won that last thing. And then we'll go to Nick and then we'll go to Michelle. It's very simple. I'll give you, Doogie, three movies and you tell me which one Steve Buscemi is not in. That's hard because he's in most movies.
Starting point is 00:42:23 He's in a lot of movies. Yeah, so it's fun how confusing it is. And this is just between Doogies to answer you guys. So if you know in the audience, don't yell it out. And Doogie, was he in... Which one of these was he not in?
Starting point is 00:42:39 Air America, Airheads, or Con Air? Which one was he not in? I already hear somebody saying it out loud. That's correct! Air America! Diggie is still in. Now we go to Nick.
Starting point is 00:42:59 Come on, Nick! Oh, Nick's got a fan. Is that the guy whose name tag? Yeah! I was going to say, it'd be weird to be rooting for somebody that didn't even pick your name tag. I just like Nick! I thought it was my dad.
Starting point is 00:43:18 Nick, would you like... Would you like... Which one of these... Which one of these is not a Buscemi movie? Somebody to Love, Romance and Cigarettes, or Valentine's Day? Oh, God. Right? I found three that sound similar.
Starting point is 00:43:36 Yeah. Everybody was in Valentine's Day. I don't know. So that seems like the obvious answer to me So I'm going to go Valentine's Day That's correct Michelle, which one was Buscemi not in? It's a lot of pressure
Starting point is 00:43:57 Dying young, living in oblivion Or things to do in Denver when you're dead He's in two of those I am going to go with Dying young Vivian or Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead? He's in two of those. I am going to go with Dying Young. That's correct. You guys are so good at this, we might not have a winner. Everyone loses.
Starting point is 00:44:21 We'll try one more round. We'll start with Doogie again. Which one of these is he not in? Doogie. Trusting Beatrice, Rising Sun, or Guarding Tess? Rising Sun. That's incorrect.
Starting point is 00:44:39 Aww. Aww. Can I have two more chances. No, unfortunately, we move on to Nick. You lose your belt. And you lose your belt. And Nick gets to choose between which one is he not in?
Starting point is 00:44:56 Trusting Beatrice or guarding Tess? Trusting Beatrice. That's incorrect. He's in guarding test. Ask me, ask me. Yeah, you can narrow it down, but I'll give you one for fun. This is for the win, Michelle. Oh, I won.
Starting point is 00:45:18 Which one is he not in? 20 bucks, 28 days, or 28 days later? Oh, God. 28 days, or 28 days later? 28 days. No, he's in that. That's a, what you call it? Zombie movie.
Starting point is 00:45:33 No. It's the fucking Sandra Bullock alcohol movie. Oh my gosh. So zombie movie, right? High fives. But you win anyway. Thank you. And that's the end of Now we'reives. But you win anyway. Thank you. Now you're shooting, now you don't.
Starting point is 00:45:54 The game's going bye-bye, but lots of people have suggestions for other games that are similar and I might try one of those at some point, but we're calling Michelle the winner of that one. Let's play Whose Tagline Is It Anyway? It's an exciting new game
Starting point is 00:46:10 that people love because I'm going to tell you a tagline from a movie. It's the same sort of deal. We'll move down the line one by one. It's not everybody gets it once. We'll start with you, Michelle, and then we'll go to Doogie.
Starting point is 00:46:28 I'll just say the tagline from a movie. You name a guess, just one guess, if you're wrong, Doogie gets a shot at it, and then we'll play until everybody's out. Including me. I get to play along as well. Oh, boy.
Starting point is 00:46:47 And I have the answers written right here good luck let me give you a couple examples to give you just get your minds into how hard these are time is running out was the tagline for a movie
Starting point is 00:47:02 called Taken? Oh. Yeah, you think they would have had a better one for that? Yeah. Are you curious, question mark, was the tagline for Fifty Shades of Grey? Oh, my God. That's pretty hard.
Starting point is 00:47:21 What is the tagline, Michelle, for no one would take on his case until one man was willing to take on the system? That pretty much narrows it down to thousands of movies. Oh my god. Which one do you think it is? Oh my god.
Starting point is 00:47:42 Which one do you think it is? I'm going to have to go with the judge, Robert Downey Jr. and that old guy. You think that he had to take on the system to get his dad out of jail? Ageism. Ageism. Yeah, the system to get his dad out of jail? Ageism. Ageism. Yeah,
Starting point is 00:48:07 the system's against judges. No, the judge is not correct. Nick, do you have an idea what you think
Starting point is 00:48:15 it might be? I'm going to go with The Rainmaker with Matt Damon. Oh, that would be perfect for that, but no.
Starting point is 00:48:27 Doogie, for the win, if you could tell us what movie this is for, you would win this game. I was going to say The Rainmaker. Oh, but now you're going to say the actual answer. My Cousin Vinny. Are you changing it to crossing out the wrong answer and putting in my answer now? No. No, the answer is Philadelphia. Philadelphia.
Starting point is 00:48:59 I'm in the wrong headspace. That was my bad. That's the first thing you've got to ask yourself when you're playing one of my games. Where am I? I have the answer for the next one. The Philadelphia story. I'm not that simple. I have five emotions in my head.
Starting point is 00:49:19 And anger's at the front right now. We're gonna play again. Starting with Michelle. Same order. Oh my god. We're going to play again. Starting with Michelle. Same order. Oh, my God. You can do it. Okay. The dream is real.
Starting point is 00:49:31 The dream is real. Okay. Somebody out there said a word, but I don't know what that is. I got it. I got it. I'm confident. Space Jam. Is that? Should I take the belt away?
Starting point is 00:49:48 That is close, yet very far. Nick? The dream is real. Inception. That's correct. Nice. Alright, Michelle, you're out. Just for now. You'll be back.
Starting point is 00:50:09 But Doogie has a chance to not lose this. If he can name the movie that this is the tagline for. Heroes aren't born. They're built. Heroes aren't born. They're built heroes aren't born
Starting point is 00:50:25 they're built is it big hero five somebody was excited for you and then quickly was through it hero five because they either realized it was wrong or they realized that behind you was wrong I don't know what happened
Starting point is 00:50:44 back of the wrong horse I. I don't know what happened. Back of the wrong horse. I know I don't have that name. No, that's incorrect. Do you know what it is, Nick? Is it Big Hero 6? No. Oh. I just said, let me try that again.
Starting point is 00:50:54 It's Big Hero 5. Big Hero 6 is incorrect. Oh, okay. Do you know what it is? Heroes aren't born, they're built. I think I know what the movie is, but I can't remember the name. Is it the Hugh Jackman builds a boxing robot? No, it's not real steel.
Starting point is 00:51:08 Real steel. Or chappy. Which is the one I think you meant. No, it's a little motion picture called Iron Man. Iron Man. But Nick is our winner of that game. That was fun. That was tough.
Starting point is 00:51:36 What did he yell out? Yeah, shorts. Shorts. Oh, shorts. The wind makes me warm. I thought he was yelling out some inside thing for Preston and Steve, but no, we got a new thing now. Yeah, of course. People are just going to yell shorts at you. Whenever you see Nick out in
Starting point is 00:51:51 the world, yell shorts. Hey, what's up, shorts? Your kid is going to go through a lot of emotions. Let's play the Leonard Maltin game. Who did I say won that? Did Nick win that? Yeah. All right, so we'll start with Nick
Starting point is 00:52:17 and then we'll go to Michelle and then to Doogie. And Nick gets to pick the first category. And you get three to choose from. Ghostbusters. That's movies where Patrick Swayze gets arrested. Very controversial category because I thought he got arrested point blank
Starting point is 00:52:41 but it turns out he just got detained. He got detained on a beach. So I hope I'm right about this other one in this category. Or you can pick Matthew McConaghy, and that's Matthew McConaghy movies that made over $100 million? Or the Jack Lee on Twitter suggested a streetcar named Retire and it's somebody's last movie. I'll do that one. Okay. It's the last movie of somebody.
Starting point is 00:53:17 Would you like one from 1981 or 2004? 2004. All right. Three stars for Leonard Maltin. He says this movie from 2004 is amiable. He also says
Starting point is 00:53:40 Edward Herman appears unbilled. That's a massive clue. And he lists nine names. How many names would it take you to figure out what movie this is featuring an actor
Starting point is 00:53:57 who retired right after? And Edward Herman is not one of those names. He passed recently, rest in peace. Yeah, he went to Bucknell, which is where I went. That's where you go when you die? College, Doug. How many?
Starting point is 00:54:21 Five. He says five names. That's a serious open bid. I knew you'd be a good player, but that's intense. That nameless is going to be short. Michelle. Leave it to shorts. Leave it to shorts.
Starting point is 00:54:37 I almost stepped on it. I almost stepped on ass. I almost stepped on ass. I almost stepped on his ass. Michelle, can you go fewer names reading from the bottom up, or do you want to challenge him to name it? Name it? Oh, she says name it.
Starting point is 00:55:00 All right, Nick, here's your five names. Wayne Robson. June Squibb Rip Torn Fred Savage and Christine Baranski are all in this movie from 2004 that Leonard gave three stars
Starting point is 00:55:17 and calls amiable Ed Herman appears unbilled it's the final performance of somebody what do you think it's called, Nick? I think it's the last movie that Gene Hackman was ever in, Welcome to Mooseport. That is correct!
Starting point is 00:55:32 That is correct! That's good! That's good! That's good! That's good! That's good! That's good! That's good!
Starting point is 00:55:41 That's good. Cam, come on up and over. Short, short, short! Short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, short, bad about Rocky Balboa, though. Can the person... There's a box of donuts out there that didn't get picked tonight. Where's the box of donuts? Oh, there's one right there. Toss one to Nick, and then he gets to toss one into the crowd.
Starting point is 00:56:16 Yeah, toss him a round one. Oh, look at that. That's a dangerous one. Alright, who wants it? Apologies if that hit somebody that didn't want a donut. Yeah, come to Dunkin' Donuts movies and get hit in the face with a donut. I think it had marshmallows on it. Yeah. Yeah. in the face with a donut. I think it had
Starting point is 00:56:45 marshmallows on it. Yeah. Yeah. It was a really fancy donut. I hope you enjoy it. All right, now, somebody toss me a yingling.
Starting point is 00:56:55 Done, actually. Oh, would you like one? Oh, no, I wasn't kidding. Somebody give me a yingling. Yeah. Helium Staff Nick would like a yingling. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:57:04 And are you good, Michelle? I could have another ying and a ling. And, um, are you good, Michelle? I could have another sapphire and tonic. I mean, if we're all doing it. Sure. What about you, Doogie? I'll have an absolute mandarin with club soda, please.
Starting point is 00:57:16 I'd like a cup of gold. Can you surge in a hollowed-out cantaloupe? Yeah. As long as we're just getting whatever we want. With your silliest straw. Oh, I hope they bring you one. I really hope they have one.
Starting point is 00:57:37 Alright, so Nick has one point, and Doogie gets to pick the next category, and he gets to choose between from Loki underscore hates underscore you Doogie gets to pick the next category, and he gets to choose between from Loki underscore hates underscore you. Don't like this guy already. Age of old Tron,
Starting point is 00:57:57 and that's films from the year Tron came out, which is 1982. Or, The World According to Arf, and that's movies with a dog narrator. And as I had to explain to Bert Kreischer, it's a person pretending to be a dog narrating the movie. That's what I said. I was just like, or I've been pronouncing this Mattel for months, or however long this category has been in play,
Starting point is 00:58:45 but it's at C underscore Mattay M-A-T-T-E-I I've been calling it Mattel and it's Sour Diesel which is Vin Diesel movies that Leonard gave two stars or less. Which one of those would you like, Doogie?
Starting point is 00:59:05 I want to do the dog one just because I'm curious, but I think that'll be a weak subject for me, so I'll go with The Age of Ultron. Movies from 1982. Yes. All right. Four stars from Leonard for this movie from 1982. He says that the lead actor gives one of his finest performances
Starting point is 00:59:25 in this film. He also says look carefully for Bruce Willis as a courtroom spectator. Look closely, man. You might not find him. And then he lists ten names. How many names can you
Starting point is 00:59:46 get it in? Doogie Horner? I guess I'll go ten. DH says ten. Michelle? I'm gonna go eight. Lopped one off. Or two.
Starting point is 01:00:03 What do you think of that, Nick? I'm like, am I supposed to agree with this math because it's a host? Michelle adding five. Dividing it by two and then rounding up to the nearest integer. Let's see what the trick of nine is.
Starting point is 01:00:19 I just said that she took one more. She skipped one. I was like, she didn't go nine, so she took one more. She skipped one. I was like, she didn't go nine, so she locked one off. So yeah, so she says eight. Eight minus one. Look at that. Look at Doogie's fancy drink. Doogie's day out.
Starting point is 01:00:44 Oh, this tastes so good. My drink was wrong. It was vodka, not gin. Sorry. What? I sent her away. Because you asked for it wrong or they made it wrong?
Starting point is 01:00:57 I love everybody that works here. This one has... But she made it wrong. Wait, that was my drink. This one has gin in it. This is yours. Oh, well, I like cherries. I was going to say that vodka tasted weird.
Starting point is 01:01:08 I think that one was my drink. Sapphire tonic. This vodka's very gin-like. This tastes like poison. Oh, it's gin. Bring back the vodka. It's supposed to taste good. Do you need my orange slice?
Starting point is 01:01:21 Is that what was happening with your drink? Jerry, I'm so sorry that you had to come up here and do this. This is Jerry, the manager of the club. Great job. Great job, Jerry. He's a hand-drawn manager. Do you want the orange? No, you can keep it.
Starting point is 01:01:35 Is that right? This is fantastic. Okay, go ahead. Continue. So Michelle lopped one off for eight. And then what's's Nick gonna do? I'll say seven. Seven? He lopped off three?
Starting point is 01:01:58 Doogie, doogie. I got one guy to join in with me. But on the other hand Short, short, short, short, short Short, short, short, short, short That's just more fun to chant I had a friend that changed his name to Spider Because he thought more people would buy him drinks Because it's fun to say
Starting point is 01:02:24 Drink for my friend Spider. It did not work? He said it worked. He wasn't the most trustworthy person. I'll go six. Six, he says, Michelle. Oh my God. Oh, I can't.
Starting point is 01:02:39 Six out of ten. Five. I've gotten overconfident from that maraschino cherry. I think you should try five. Oh, shit. Nick McElwain dropping the hammer. I kind of assumed that you were going to go for it, so that's why I was acting all fucking...
Starting point is 01:03:03 Calling the bluff. Yeah, good. Alright. Here's your five names, Michelle. 82. I was six. You probably saw this when you were six.
Starting point is 01:03:19 Yeah. James Handy. Roxanne Hart Lindsey Krauss Julie Bavaso and Edward Binns I feel bad when people laugh at the names some old actor named Edward Binns is a podcast enthusiast I feel bad when people laugh at the names. Some old actor named Edward Binns is a podcast enthusiast.
Starting point is 01:03:50 And he hears that and he just feels so sad. And he wishes that Joy could find her way back into his brain. Is it Binns with a Z or an S? I gotta know. B-I-N-N-S. Oh, wow. Bins. Double N.
Starting point is 01:04:06 But just think of a movie that Leonard would give four stars from 1982 in which the lead actor gives one of his finest performances and Bruce Willis is there as a courtroom spectator. Okay, I'm gonna go for this. Courtroom, 82, irreconcilable differences. I like that guess, and the duty to drop that belt at the same time. It made quite a slap on the stage. Sorry, Doug. It's okay.
Starting point is 01:04:40 But the guess is incorrect. Yeah, that fine performance is made by Paul Newman in a movie called The Verdict. The Verdict. Oh, man. That's right. Nick McElwain is our winner!
Starting point is 01:05:04 You know, a lot of times the games are pretty long, but that one was pretty short. The sad thing is I've been wearing these shorts since Tuesday. That's awesome. He played to win, you guys, and he did it in record time. Maybe not record time, but it happened very quickly. Where's the person that you're playing for? Come get your prize bag.
Starting point is 01:05:34 Whoever made that. Chris, get your crank over here. Take these two bags of prizes. Congratulations, dude. All right. Good job. All right, Chris. I think he should now
Starting point is 01:05:56 have to have his pants cut into shorts. Yes. Scissors, Jerry. Scissors. Can you just give me the shithead off of the back of that belt? I need you to give me the shithead off the back of that belt? Give me the whole belt because it's clearly unwieldy
Starting point is 01:06:08 and heavy. But just pull that piece of paper off of it. Oh, that's her. That's mine. Give me Michelle's too, please. Yeah, then I don't have to jump off. Do you mind? Michelle's trying to relax.
Starting point is 01:06:25 Nick, do you want me to get yours too? You know what, I gave it back to him. Yeah, we didn't get yours. Michelle's trying to relax. Nick, do you want me to get yours too? You know what, I gave it back to him. Yeah, we don't need it. Although yours was good, I read it. Alright, well I don't understand either of these shitheads, but I will read them at the end as obligated. But in the
Starting point is 01:06:40 meantime, we've got a couple extra minutes. Let's play another game! Yeah! I saved Last Man Sten for as a time permitting situation because I've been aggravated by the sheer volume of people on Twitter telling me they have the perfect
Starting point is 01:07:04 name for Last Man Standing. Sure. And, you know, they mean well, but then they're like, Scott Baio. And I'm like, he was in Bugsy Malone and Zapped. Get the fuck out of here.
Starting point is 01:07:18 So he's been in more movies than that. But you get my point. I love the hand raised over there. People are so excited. Everyone thinks they have the perfect name. And it's tough. It's not easy to come up with one. Especially one we haven't played before.
Starting point is 01:07:34 But also, I don't mind playing one again that we've played before. I like to join in and play along. And that guy refuses to lower his hand. So I find it very compelling. What's your name? Where are you from? Neil from Northeast Philly. You can put your hand down.
Starting point is 01:07:52 Neil from Northeast Philly. You could just say Philly, probably. There's a difference. Is that extra? There's a difference? He's trying to get laid. They're not trying to succeed. Nobody would stop them.
Starting point is 01:08:13 They're trying to do well, but they don't care if they succeed. Fuck you. Wah, wah. So, you think you have the perfect name for this game? I do. I tweeted you earlier. Wow.
Starting point is 01:08:34 You never got back to me. I got a few tweets today and they were all super confident but every time that happens somebody suggests the most obscure name and we need somebody that... Nope.
Starting point is 01:08:49 But also people write to me and they'll go, this guy's got over 200 credits on IMDb, and I go, yeah, that's because they're old. And my guests aren't going to know the movies of Christopher Lee or whoever. But what do you got? Clint Eastwood. Clint Eastwood.
Starting point is 01:09:05 Okay, I think we've done that before, but I don't mind. I don't mind doing it again. Shut up. I don't... As soon as I start to sound like I'm not into Clint Eastwood, I got one, I got one.
Starting point is 01:09:18 No, but we'll do Clint Eastwood, but we'll include films that he's directed. Not produced, because I don't know which ones those are. But films that he's directed. Not produced, because I don't know which ones those are. But films that he's directed, and we'll start with... Since Nick won, we'll start with him, and then we'll go to Michelle and Doogie
Starting point is 01:09:34 and me, and we're all going to name Clint Eastwood movies, so we can't think of any anymore. And feel free to only yell out Amy Adams. In the audience. Nick? In the line of fire.
Starting point is 01:09:48 Yes. What'd you say? Oh, in the line of fire. In the line of fire, yeah. In the line of fire. That's the Irish version. In the line of fire. Do we just use a rapid fire?
Starting point is 01:10:00 Michelle, any Clint Eastwood movie. Directed, right? Or in it. Flags of Our Fathers. He acted in Or in it. Flags of Our Fathers. He acted in a few things. Flags of Our Fathers. That's a fun one. Dirty Harry.
Starting point is 01:10:14 Dirty Harry. Let's just knock those off. Let's go Magnum Force. Unforgiven. Unforgiven? Which I think he directed too, right? Yeah, really good movie. I don't think he's in it.
Starting point is 01:10:31 He is. He's in it? He's the star? He's the Unforgiven. I can't. When Morgan Freeman and Gene Hagman are on the screen, I don't see anybody else. That's a good point. Shorts! Shorts! Never forget. Never forget.
Starting point is 01:10:48 Never forget the shorts. It's been three minutes and someone yelled it. Michelle? Million Dollar Baby. Yeah! The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. Oh, going deep. I like it.
Starting point is 01:11:08 The Gauntlet. I love it. I love when people are like, what? Like I'd make up the name of a movie. It's one of the Dirty Harry films. Look it up. Nick? Gran Torino.
Starting point is 01:11:24 Yeah, what? Michelle? This is exciting. Sons of Iwo Jima. Yeah. Whoa. Oh, so close. I was confidently saying something and you wasn't totally right.
Starting point is 01:11:42 Yeah, you shouldn't jump in with one that's not totally right. We're looking for right answers only. Jeopardy style. So Michelle's out. What do you got, Doogie? Fist full of dollars. Nice. I'm going to go ahead and clean that up, Michelle.
Starting point is 01:11:59 Thank you. And say the flags of our fathers. No! I fucked it up. I'm out. That makes me feel better. Nick? Million Dollar Baby. What?
Starting point is 01:12:17 Son of a bitch. That's alright. He can say one we've said already. He gets another choice. Pink Cadillac? Yeah. I can't believe I'm out this early. I can think of like a million other ones. Doogie?
Starting point is 01:12:32 For a few dollars more. It's back to you already, Nick. It's going to come back fast now. What's the one with the chimp? The one with the chimp? The one with the chimp? Or is it orangutan, right? Gorillas in the mist.
Starting point is 01:12:52 Don't say it. Wait, was he in two primate movies? Wow. Don't help him anymore. You're thinking of Ronald Reagan. You've told him there's two movies that he can pick from. Too big of a clue. Right, you get fixated on those. I know.
Starting point is 01:13:12 He's got so many other ones. Short, short, short. I always think better when people are chanting. Concentrate, concentrate, concentrate, concentrate. Why am I failing so badly? I love it. I love it. A guy just yelled out to help you out.
Starting point is 01:13:36 Clint Eastwood. Because people are going crazy. There's probably hardly a person in the audience that doesn't have at least one that we haven't said yet. I can't help but think of Back to the Future 3. Look closely, you'll see a young Bruce Willis. Oh, here we go. The baseball one that just came out.
Starting point is 01:14:05 Yes! The baseball one that just came out. Yes! The baseball one that just came out. Classic. Classic Clint Eastwood. The baseball one. What the hell is that called? Somebody's yelling Amy Adams, you jerk. That's timber lame. I'm failing, man.
Starting point is 01:14:31 I can't come up with something. You can't come up with Trouble with the Curve? Trouble with the Curve! So Doogie's our winner. Doogie did it. Any which way but loose. If you were thinking of Any Which Way But Loose. Yeah, and every which way you can.
Starting point is 01:14:55 And what else, you guys? How about Josie Wales? Did somebody say American Sniper? The Clint Eastwood story. Oh my God. Letters of Iwo Jima. Jersey Boys. Letters of Iwo Jima, yeah. I said that.
Starting point is 01:15:24 What was the name? What is that? Letters. Emails. Letters to Miwa Jima, yeah. I said that. What was the name? What is Miwa Jima? What is that? Letters. Emails. Letters. Emails from Iowa Times. Text emoticons from Miwa Jima. It'd be like, frowny face, frowny face, frowny face. Matches from Miwa Jima. Starving. Asian guy Flag raising
Starting point is 01:15:47 What was J. Edgar What was the one with Angelina Jolie Changeling Deadpool Mystic River Escape from Alcatraz Space Cowboys The only movie I ever Alcatraz, Space Cowboys.
Starting point is 01:16:06 The only movie I ever walked out of was Space Cowboys. Really? Were you like, I'm too old for this shit? Or, they're too old for this shit? Yeah, Clint Eastwood's a good one, because he's certainly got a lot of titles, and he goes way back. City Heat! Yeah, Bridges of Magic.
Starting point is 01:16:27 Oh, how did we forget that? I said Jersey Boys. You guys are just stealing how shit I've already said. Blood work, that's right. Two meals for Sister Sarah. High place children. That's a good one. Are people who's on IMDB right now reading? I play as Trooper. Joe Kidd. Escape from Alcatraz. Escape from Alcatraz.
Starting point is 01:16:46 Are people who's on IMDB right now reading? Ouch. That's the fun thing about this game is everybody can think of one and then yells at you like you're stupid. Fucking idiot. Who doesn't remember that Clint Eastwood was in
Starting point is 01:17:04 What were the monkey movies? So linear. Every which way but loose and every which way you can. Who doesn't remember that Clint Eastwood was in... What were the monkey movies? Every Which Way But Loose and Every Which Way You Can. One of them is supposedly better than the other one. But I haven't gone that deep to really compare the two. I know that the orangutan
Starting point is 01:17:18 flips people off in both. There's an old lady who looks like an orangutan and an orangutan and an orangutan, and between the two of them, you will piss yourself with laughter. You'll lose your mind. Doogie,
Starting point is 01:17:33 what have you got to plug before we wrap this thing up? I guess check out my books, Everything Explained Through Flowcharts and 100 Ghosts. Thank you. Check me out online at Doogie Horner or doogiehorner.com.
Starting point is 01:17:51 Thank you. Thanks for being here. Make sure that the belt guy gets his belt back. Yeah, I'm going to give that back to you. That's a really nice belt. Give it back to him right now. I don't want his pants to fall down. I'm worried about it. It's a nice belt. It's just sitting face down on the him right now. I don't want his pants to fall down. I'm worried about it. It's a nice belt. It's just sitting
Starting point is 01:18:06 face down on the stage. There you go. Come get your belt. How do you keep your pants up without it? What did he say to you? What did he compliment you? He said he saw me open for Pete Holmes and I was really great.
Starting point is 01:18:26 There's something about opening for Pete Holmes that makes everybody look great. Pete Holmes. I did call him Pete Holmes the last time I was on here. And I was like, no I didn't. And then I listened to the podcast and I was like, oh, I did call him Pete Holmes.
Starting point is 01:18:45 I thought you did. Pete House. That's cool. Where was that at? Did he sell anything? I think that was here in Haleham, right? Yeah, go see Doogie and Pete Holmes and Michelle Balloon. What do you got coming up, Michelle?
Starting point is 01:19:00 I'm around Philly. You can sign up for my mailing list on my website at balloon.com. I will be at the Joke Joint in Houston next month. July. Been drinking. Can't remember the dates. Please look at my website. July. Just find a comedy club in Houston and
Starting point is 01:19:17 camp it out. Wait for Michelle to show up. I'll be there and get my CD. You can be an asshole on astrecords.com if you want a physical copy or on iTunes. Please. What do they get with a physical copy? What's
Starting point is 01:19:37 the bonus to buying a physical copy? Is there lighter notes? Did you write a little message inside? I don't want to sort of ruin the record labels deal, but I guess but no, I think if you want to have a thing to put in
Starting point is 01:19:54 something, then that's the book. I think that's the title of your next album. A thing to put in something. Maybe you've got an uneven table and you need to sort of balance it out. That would work. Yeah, that's what those come in handy for these days. Or iTunes.
Starting point is 01:20:11 It's all about downloads these days, but some people still like a physical copy. And I actually have two more on me, so if anybody wants to buy one... If you want to buy one tonight... They're $75 each. Who's got $75? Let's start the bidding at $75.
Starting point is 01:20:28 For you two can be an asshole. What's it called? You can be an asshole. What asshole has $75? No bidders. If it was for charity, I bet you we'd get it. 15. 20 if you're an asshole.
Starting point is 01:20:44 Who's got 20 who's got a 20 you're gonna buy one right now you want one for 20 I see a lot of hands up you want one for 20 done sold to this fella
Starting point is 01:20:53 does anybody want the next one for 10 dollars 10 dollars sold to you alright so the guys in the red shirts
Starting point is 01:21:02 both got deals one got a better deal than the other one I'll meet you after I got it I got it in the red shirts both got deals. One got a better deal than the other one. Oh, we do after. I got it. I got it in the green room. It's back there. The jokes are better than the $20 copy.
Starting point is 01:21:14 Yeah. No, you got it. Nick, what's going on with you? You're on the President's Day program on WMMR 93.3. Also available as a podcast. Yeah, you can get it on our new website, which is WMMR.com and PrestonAndSteve.com. I'll be appearing at the Dave Matthews Band concert later tonight.
Starting point is 01:21:38 Time to see Dave Matthews go on. I'll be wearing the shorts. I've never taken these off, yet Dave Matthews goes on in like a year and a half. Oh, beautiful. And it's a rain or shine show? It's raining out there. And fortunately, I work at a radio station, so I got seats, and I'm not on the lawn like the peasants.
Starting point is 01:21:59 They got covered seats in Camden, New Jersey? Yeah, they got a lot in Camden. Shorts! Shorts! Shorts! Shorts! Shorts! Shorts! Shorts! Shorts! Shorts! When I said shorts, it sounded like sharts. We do those.
Starting point is 01:22:17 Our show doesn't do shout-outs, we do shart-outs. Because we're classy and farts are funny. It's because you're assy We don't do shout-outs, we do shart-outs. Because we're classy. And farts are funny. It's because you're sassy. You can follow me on Twitter at NickMcCoyne1 and Instagram and all that stuff.
Starting point is 01:22:36 That's easy to spell. No. Can't do it. Can't do it. That's the guy who called you a shithead, I bet. M-C-I-L-W-A-I-N. Nicely done. You're welcome.
Starting point is 01:22:50 Thank you. Wow. Yeah, that's how you spell that. And if you need to spell Doogie Horner, you've got problems. And Michelle Balloon is with one L. Yes, B-I-L-O-N. Thank you. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:23:01 Two L's in Michelle, of course. Yeah, two L's in Michelle. One M. One N. Two E's. Yeah, yeah. Two L's in Michelle, of course. Yeah, two L's in Michelle. One M. One N. Two E's. No silent letters. A silent Z. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:23:11 No numbers. No commas. One more round of applause for all of my guests. Take that away. Michelle Bloom, a doogie hoarder. Michelle Blue, Doogie Hoarder. Always a blast doing shows here in Helium and in Philadelphia. And thanks, you guys, for coming out
Starting point is 01:23:35 and for selling it out weeks ago. And I'll do it again as soon as possible. And as always... We love you, Doug! And as always... We love you, Doug! Okay, those two people are shitheads. I just didn't know. The pause wasn't for to get some love.
Starting point is 01:24:06 The pause was to figure out what the hell this is. Jiggery Pokery is a shithead? Is that a thing? Jiggery Pokery? Did I say it right? Alright. Good one, Noah. And whoever broke
Starting point is 01:24:26 Jose Aldo's rib is a shithead. The city of Memphis.

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