Doug Loves Movies - Michelle Biloon, Joyelle Johnson and Liza Treyger guest
Episode Date: July 27, 2020Doug welcomes Michelle Biloon, Joyelle Johnson and Liza Treyger to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go ...to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming, maybe sticky seeds with 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth.
There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies!
Hey, hey, hey everybody! My name is Doug and I love the motion pictures.
This is Doug Loves Movies, coming to you from five different places.
Three guests, one host, one producer,
all in their individual homes or bunkers.
It's Sunday, July 26th,
and my guests today are all regulars on the program.
We've got Michelle Ballou, Joy L. Johnson, and Liza Traeger.
Hell yeah.
Hello.
Girl power.
That's right.
Ladies night.
Yes, the feeling is right.
I'm going to introduce you each individually and alphabetically, starting with, of course,
Michelle Balloon is here.
Hey, Michelle.
We can say it's in preferential order.
That's okay.
You don't have to caveat it.
Bitch.
It starts.
Michelle definitely has known you the longest of the three.
True.
Yeah. So you get that one for sure.
Yes, yes.
And, yeah, and we were just podcasting together a mere days ago.
Last Thursday we did an episode of Wide World of Dugs,
and I was very excited to have you on this show very quickly after that
And I was very excited to have you on this show very quickly after that,
because it was like, you know, it was almost like inviting you to, you know,
it was the opposite of a good thing.
Yeah, it was a time that was everybody tune in to my episode of Wide World of Ducks and you'll see.
Yeah. It's it's just one of those things where uh my co-host doug mellard and
michelle and i were all on the line with the gentleman who's had a very uh what i thought
would be a very interesting career to talk about uh he's a he played both an ewok in return of the
jedi and a uh a jawa in the mandalorian and then lots of weird jobs in between.
Like, so much to talk about with this guy.
And he was like, he'd either answer with yes or no, or very long-winded stories that had
no point and nothing of interest happening.
I mean, he just, you know, he was nice enough to grant an interview, and his name was Doug,
but it just sort of backfired on us.
Yeah, and then he uncorked a bit of coronavirus trutherism.
And that was when I was like, wait a second, I just thought you were awkward before, and now I think I might not like you.
But we were too polite.
We were too polite we were all polite it was like we could not have been like we we could not we were all just being nice and it just was not an opportunity to uh i mean it could have been i
felt weird because i was the guest yeah and that guy didn't feel weird being a guest and he was
like that's true he was like shirtless in his car and a parking lot. He was on video. Yeah, we could see him.
And he was talking about how the world just looked normal
and that Corona's not really that big of a deal.
It was tough.
It was a tough, because, you know, we didn't know the guy.
And we invited him on because his name is Doug.
And, you know, I think of myself as a Star Wars nerd.
But, man, he wasn't interested in Star Wars.
He couldn't be more over it.
But anyway, so I'm very happy to have you on this show, Michelle, with guests that I'm
pretty sure you'll get along with very well.
Super excited about it, except for the one that I hate.
Just kidding.
Okay, well, we'll guess which one that is
at the end of the show.
Let's say hello to
Joyelle Johnson.
Yes, I would first of all like to say
I am here for that Ewok drag.
And while
we are dragging people, shout out
to, I think, a Doug Loves Movies
regular, Moishe Kasher,
who I recently did a show with,
and he was like,
oh, I don't remember meeting you, Joyelle.
And I just gently reminded him
that I beat him on Doug Loves Movies.
And he remembered that.
So you know what I'm saying.
Yeah.
You gotta let people know.
Not gonna forget it.
This is the end of these streets.
Remember that.
Mm-hmm. Helen Mirren.
Helen Mirren and Parker Posey were the categories, and it was great.
Oh, man.
I never won.
Moshe never wins either.
Moshe doesn't know.
So thank you for having me back with this dream lineup i am here for
well let's go ahead and say hello to our lisa trager's also here the
what's up breakout star of the smash hit of the summer king of satin island
hell yeah thanks for that intro people are walking out of there going i want more of that waitress
it's exciting um where the fuck is that waitress how can i want more of that waitress it's exciting where the fuck is that waitress
how can i get more of her i'm getting a lot of like my old salon girls from my salon days when
i was a receptionist they're like what's up girl and i love that i'm waiting for some high school
appreciation um no no one maybe mostly salon gals waitress gals that's the main demographic
of this movie in my life because you did the research you were you were a waitress
i was a waitress i was a bad waitress i spilled soup i did not laugh if i didn't want to
and one time we had five cent, but only your first champagne.
And I didn't tell them that. And they kept ordering like 5 cent.
And I knew it was wrong and I didn't care.
You would have been my, you would have been my favorite waitress.
I love bad waitresses.
All right. So that's, those are the guests today.
And we are going to play more than one game because what happened last time
Joyelle was on and the last time Lisa was on,
that's why I got this idea to have you all together is both of you were like,
aren't we going to play that one game you always play
as the show was ending?
And I had to wrap up the show and say,
sorry, we're not playing that today.
So today we will play that game.
So that you, it's a dream come true for both of you.
So nice.
I was like, this is how I can either shine or not shine,
but I still love the game.
This is so thrilling.
The first game we're going to play is one that is brand new.
It's just made up.
I'm trying to see if somebody, I think, suggested this on Twitter,
but I, of course, didn't write down their name to give them credit for it.
But I'll hit them up later.
The game is called Sorvino Safari.
Yes.
And I'm going to go to you one at a time, and I'll name a movie.
We'll start off, we'll go alphabetical again.
I'll name a movie, and then off we'll go alphabetical again i'll name a movie and then you tell me if
that movie features mira sorvino mina sibari or both oh my cool wow i love this game i do i feel
like i could i'm ready to guess and I've got images in my head.
Yeah.
Oh my God, I got the image of at least eight white women right now. I'm not sure which one is which.
I heard the panic in your voice, Joelle, I'll be honest.
I was like, oh no.
I think I know who they are.
I think I know who they are.
Doug, I also want to mention.
It'll definitely become more clear to you who they are i think
and how it works is i'll go to michelle first but if she misses then it's narrowed down your
options for an answer joyelle so you'll oh right you know and then of course if two people miss
the third person it's a gimme all they have to do is say the third thing that's that's a gimme. All they have to do is say the third thing. That's a game, the way I came up with
to play so that even somebody who doesn't know anything has a chance.
For the Moshe Casters out there. I'm glad you're ordering it.
I'm glad you're ordering it in this way then, where I
am not going to get the gimme and I probably don't have a chance.
You can get a gimme later. That's the beauty. Yeah, that's true. Okay.
I'm positive.
All right.
Sorvino, Suvari, or both, Michelle Balloon, in the motion picture called At First Sight.
Wow.
Oh, my God.
I think it's Mira Sorvino, solo.
Correct.
What?
Wow. Nice. You. What? Wow.
Nice.
You're on the board.
I had no idea.
Okay, I'm intimidated.
Yeah.
She co-starred in that with Val Kilmer.
Oh.
Who played a blind man.
Yeah.
Oh, yes.
And that's why it's called At First Sight. It felt older. And that's why it's called
At First Sight.
It's spelled older, and she's older, right?
I think
it's a May-December.
It might be a little age difference,
but the main difference, of course, being
him not being able
to see and her being able to see that.
You know,
they have issues with that of course
they was trying to get an award
you could tell when somebody's trying to get
at least a golden globe
yeah I'm gonna
handicap the shit out of this
exactly
alright
they better build a ramp at the Oscars
because my handicap character is going
up there
oh god stealing character They better build a ramp at the Oscars because my handicapped character is going up there to get the gold.
Stealing character.
It's Joyelle's turn.
Which one
or both of those ladies,
Sorvino, Savari, or both
is in a movie called
Beautiful Girls?
I know there's like
eight white women in that movie.
It's so full of white women on ice skates in the snow.
Oh my goodness.
Because I know, I think Uma Thurman's in that.
That's the only one I know.
So I feel like Mira Servino is in that.
But is Mina Suvari in that?
I don't know what she looks like. I'm going to go ahead and say Mira Servino is in that, but is Mina Suvari in that? I don't know what she looks like.
I'm going to go ahead and say
Mira Servino is in that movie.
That is correct.
Nice.
I talked it out.
You did.
You showed us your work.
Rosie O'Donnell
was in that. Wasn't that a young
Natalie Portman? Was that that one?
Very young Natalie Portman flirting with an old man, Timothy Hutton.
Oh, yeah.
And those are the best scenes in the movie.
Like, she was already a star.
Yeah, I remember that part.
Professional.
Lisa, are you ready?
Yeah.
I'm scared. I didn't know. Yeah. Okay.
You're not a big Sorvino or Suvari fan? I thought I was,
but then I've never even heard of the movie Joy All Got.
Maybe you've heard of this one. It's based on a real incident,
a real, I don't know. Incident's not the right word for serial killer. Uh,
it's called Summer of Sam.
Yes.
I know
Servino for sure is in it. I'm trying
to think if Suvari could have played
like a dumb murder victim
bitch, you know?
A dumb murder victim bitch.
That's my album.
Oh yeah, no, that is a good album
title.
She's the dumbest MVB.
Yeah, I'm going to just
take a guess and say both.
That would be fun,
like, at the end of the year
to, like, say who is
the MVB of the season.
Who is the most murdered bitch?
Which one did you go with?
I'm going to say both.
That is incorrect.
All right.
Michelle, your chance is to steal.
Well, she said
for sure Mira Sorvino's
in it, so I'm going to say just
Mira Sorvino.
That is not only smart play but the correct play that
is the yeah that's right so such good strategy there thank you i'm so sad thank you for the
nice set up sorry for not cheating it was was really just, you know, what happened.
Yeah. We also were all on the honor system. Nobody's looking up the answers.
Joyelle. Yes, sir.
Did you see a movie that came out last summer called Stuber?
Absolutely not.
Okay. I don't know what it is. It was was uh well if i tell you what it is i guess i'd be saying who's in it but um right i could tell you that it was uh kumail nanjiani okay
was in it along with another dude named uh what's that guy they was in a car. Were they in a car?
Dave Bautista.
Oh, yeah.
Big dude.
They did like a
Kevin Hart
and The Rock
type of thing,
didn't they?
They sure did.
It was fun.
It was fun.
I could watch that
at night.
I think I wanted
to see that.
I did not see that.
I saw the
movie poster.
I think I saw an ad.
I'm going to go with your theme
and just go on a limb
and just say,
Jess Mira Sorvino was in it.
That has been your theme.
So I'm just going to shoot that out there.
Well, I don't like being told
what my theme is.
I hope you switched it up.
Because my theme is just a random series of answers
and you are correct.
Oh, oh,
oh, I'm doing a dance.
A random series
of Sorvinos. Oh, I wonder
what a randomness
is going to happen.
Alright, well the next
point that Joyelle or Michelle gets
makes them the winner,
but Lisa gets to go first this round.
Okay.
Yeah.
All right.
The movie is called
Sugar and Spice.
That sounds like a definite.
Mina Suvari.
That is correct a definite. Mina Suvari. That is correct.
Whoa. Yes.
Gotta leave that. Lisa's on the board.
Switch it up.
Yeah, it could be anybody's game now. Now it is.
This is too much pressure.
Oh, no.
Michelle, which
one of them or both was in
something called Factory Girl? girl oh my gosh I
was hoping you'd drop American Beauty on me at this point I'd be like yes
I'll tell you right now you're never gonna get American Beauty
thank you for letting me know who she was yeah that's like that's my only touch point um okay factory girl no idea
when it came out never heard of it um okay i'm gonna have to i feel like i feel like the
the mina savari was just in there to make us think you don't have a theme i'm gonna go with Mira Sorvino. Incorrect.
Joyelle for the win.
Oh, this is pressure.
This is pressure.
Oh, my goodness.
Factory Girl.
I'm guessing.
I'm just going to put that out there.
But thank you for letting me know.
I knew she did have big old buggy eyes.
I was like, yes. Mina savari has big old bug eyes um so i'm gonna just go with mina savari is in that movie
is in factory girl yes factory girl colon the girl with the bug eyes
she's the factory girl that's the full title and you are correct
i'm getting a t-shirt made we all win sorvino safari
yes that was totally bad this is a real show there'd be a song come in and come on
let's all go Sorvino Safari.
Maybe like a George of the Jungle tune.
Uh-huh. Yeah.
Sorvino, Sorvino, Sorvino Safari.
And bongos.
We're all old.
The people who did the
theme for Tailspin would be on the beat.
Oh, there you go.
You guys got to revisit those old
cartoons.
They had some dope beats on them.
Just don't put that out there.
They don't try anymore.
It is weird that the, that some of those cartoons, like, it's almost like the best part.
Like once the theme song's over, the rest of it is just a letdown.
Yeah.
It's like a full voice, you know, like.
Yeah.
It's a black choir.
Yeah.
Yeah. Now stuff just starts there's just like a title card and it starts because they're worried you'll turn it off because because of credits or you know
anything yeah does it seem like it's the things already started i appreciate that with dramas. Just start that shit.
Yeah, it's weird.
There used to be so many movies where they just do the entire credits
without anything happening
yet.
It doesn't seem
like our time is more valuable
than that.
You mean like in the beginning? Like 90s movies?
Yeah.
Some movies used to,
like some movies used to just say the end at the end
and have no end credits.
Like it was all at the beginning.
Oh, weird.
Sometimes you'd sit there for like three or four minutes
before the story started.
I mean, sometimes there'd be animation or music,
like a really cool title sequence is awesome,
but I just hate when there's just like a boring sequence
and you're just watching a series of names.
It's like, well, let's just go ahead and get into it.
I love when it's like photos from the movie
or like silly, like within the theme photos.
Yes, yes.
I like the title.
Intro, yeah.
Or like Footloose,
where it's just a bunch of feet dancing around,
but it's fun to watch.
That's gross.
Never seen it.
I hate feet so well okay let me just give you a pro tip never see a tarantino movie oh hello yeah or you know
in feet in your face in person i'm glad i'm glad tarantino doesn't make 3d movies
i mean i think that's why i hate, I think that's why I hate it.
I think that's why I hate it once upon a time in Hollywood.
I think so, because that woman
goes into the movie theater and puts her
dirty feet up.
Oh, yeah. I figured it out.
It's brutal. When that happens on planes,
I mean,
it's sickening.
I saw a video on the internet
and it was someone changing the movies
on the movie screen.
I saw that.
The airplane screen with their toes.
Yeah.
If you're out of your mind,
I just flew
and there was this group of women
that had on these hazmat suits
from head to toe.
And then about three of them
had on open-toe shoes.
And I was just like what
are you doing like what i don't understand i don't understand why that's okay so dumb
that guy doug we talked to last week uh the other day michelle i think he probably
he was probably barefoot while he was talking to us. Oh, 100%. No, that guy.
That guy said so much false information.
I was like, oh, you exist.
Okay.
Yep.
This is the guy.
This is where they are coming up from.
Yeah.
No, it's.
That should have been, that was like a giveaway is like in his anecdotes and stuff.
He couldn't remember anybody's names from like the Star Wars movies and stuff.
No.
So it was just the most,
his answers were just the most non-answers.
I mean, I know the guy's not a professional interviewee,
but you still think he would be more interesting
to talk to about.
Congenial, charming.
Yeah, he was not.
But the funny part, he told, told without us asking or he assumed we
would want to hear more about peter dinklage because he is was had worked with him and is
working with him i guess and then told us a story about how i don't think he's not he doesn't talk
very much i i don't one time i tried to be funny and i scared him like i'm like you know i think
he probably doesn't like you like clearly what you did i
wouldn't have uh i wouldn't have wanted to talk to you either this is fun yeah but anyhow it was
awkward and fun to talk about after the fact get it yeah and i you know if you want to go listen to
uh listen to the weirdness that was the other
thing that was so strange i mean it was so many there was it's just it was a pile of weirdness
because at one point somebody started trying to call him on his phone and he was talking to us on
his over his phone so his dial tone which is like theme music from the movie Pitch Perfect kept coming in and I'd say, well, do you want to just dip out
and take the call? And he goes, oh, I don't want to take this call. I go, well, do you want
to text them and tell them you're busy so that they don't keep calling? And he just
his responses were all just like very vague. It was very unclear
who was calling him or why he was dodging it, but we just
kept hearing the ringtone over and over.
I just wanted him to go away.
At one point, we lost him, and I thought,
maybe he'll be gone now, and then he came
back. I'm like, oh, my gosh.
Yeah, it was
a rough outing, but
I appreciate it. I can listen to this where?
Oh.
Well, on any streaming device.
It's anywhere you get your podcasts.
It's called, I want to have you on at some time,
but hopefully with a better Doug,
but it's called Wide World of Dougs.
And every week our guest is someone named Doug,
but then we also invite a woman on the show
because there's no women named Doug.
I didn't know that's why I was invited on the show every episode has has someone who you know is ineligible to be a
doug because they're a woman but i also when i thought of the idea for the show to talk to dougs
i thought well it'd be nice to have a woman around to you know uh keep us you know keep all these
crazy dougs you know i'lls. I'll take it.
I'll take it.
And also just make it not like the most boring.
Do a lot of Dougs apply?
Do Dougs apply to be on this?
Or do you find the Dougs?
Well, it turns out Dougs are applying to be on this,
but I'm finding that I'm more interested in talking to Dougs
that are, you know, famous.
But, you know, so far we've had Dougie Doug,
and then the guy who played in Ewok,
and then, you know, we're very excited about some of the other Dougs
that are potentially going to be on the next one.
Dougie Fresh? Is Dougie Fresh coming?
So this is a new podcast it's pretty
new yeah and uh that's why it was so frustrating to have such a weird episode uh right away because
i if i were a listener i'd probably think twice about
disclaimers. Disclaimer. Yeah. Just play this.
Doug's going to find out that he's fucking sucks.
He's going to listen to this and have, you know,
He's not going to listen to this.
He doesn't care.
He doesn't.
He didn't even know how to use Zoom.
Like, I mean, yeah.
At some point, I just had to say, fuck it.
Doug, you got to hear about it.
Someone's got to tell you.
You're like 60 years old.
Let's, come on.
It was weird.
He had just come, he told us the first,
one of the first things he said is that he had just come from the gym.
And then later in the conversation, I said, well, I'm in Los Angeles.
And he goes, you're in Los Angeles?
And I go, yeah.
And, you know, I wanted to go on to say that
the gyms in los angeles are closed but i think he knew what i was driving at yeah like so he was
coming from some secret gym and sitting in his suv in a parking lot shirtless doing a podcast with us
while taking incoming calls it was so weird well none of us were on video it was just him
and then he'd hold his phone up so that we could see like the inside of his ear
and uh the whole thing i mean he didn't want to show us the inside of his ear he just held up the
phone and he saw the inside of his ear it felt like a david lynch movie no it was um all right so here's the deal so so joey joey won that first
game and so that gives you a tremendous uh advantage in our second game that we will get to
right after this commercial break we'll be right back we're back oh i'm so glad we don't have to listen
to you record the commercial.
Truth.
I always feel so uncomfortable.
No two live reads with
the guests on the line.
That's because you're a fucking professional,
Doug. Yeah.
He's a human. I would have tried to
fuck it up, too. I can't stop myself well that's the
thing though a lot of the sponsors seem to like you know being on podcasts with comedians because
the comedians will bat around they'll joke about the the product or the subject and therefore
elongate the commercial like it'll end up being 10 minutes about the product because all the comics are, you know, adding their jokes to it.
And I just rather read the commercial really fast.
Because they're not paying you for 10 minutes.
And get back to the show.
Yes.
Because also so many of the products that advertise on Douglas movies don't have anything to do with movies anyway.
Oh, that reminds me.
Are you ladies having trouble getting an erection?
Let's talk about
Bluetooth for 20 minutes.
Okay, so
the game we're going to play is the one
that Lisa and
Joyelle were disappointed we didn't play the last
times that you were both on
separately, and it's called
it's now called Last Person
Standing.
Oh!
Nice.
I'm so competitive
but not necessarily that great
but I love it.
I fucking want to win.
I want you guys to all lose.
I like to win but I'm used to losing
so I just don't care anymore yeah
so joyelle gets the control she's get gets to choose the actor or actress
uh that we will take turns i i play as well we take turns naming movies that they were in, starting with Joyelle, then Lisa, then me, then Michelle.
Okay.
And if you can't think of one, you're out.
Ha ha.
Yeah.
I can't wait to hear who this is.
If you're choosing strategically Joya, I'll choose somebody that has
lots of movies
that you are aware of that we
might not be
I mean obviously I'm going to say
somebody black as hell
but I want to be fair
and I want it to be fun
so first thing that
comes to mind is Whoopi Goldberg.
Let's go, color-puzzling.
Yes!
Oh, man.
Oh, okay.
See, now that's a Black person, though, that white people are very familiar with a lot
of her work.
Exactly, yes.
So this is fun.
So you really are, you're helping us out here.
She's a legend.
Yeah, I might bop myself
out of this motherfucker
because I could have just said
Omar Epps.
I was ready for Omar Epps.
I was like,
oh my God, okay.
I watch it.
I could have did
a Bokeem Woodbine
on you motherfuckers.
You would have got me.
You would have got me.
I thought you were going to go
Regina like King.
Regina Hall, motherfucker. I would Regina Hall. But I'm going to go Regina like King. Regina Hall, motherfucker.
I would Regina Hall.
But I'm going to be a friendly.
And I'm going to say whoopie goldberg.
Well, thank you for giving us that Regina Hall pass.
The game would have been over in two goes.
And that's not fair.
We appreciate it, as to all the white listeners
but uh you know i i'm always up for a challenge i would have i would have taken bokeen wood by
i would have gone with you i love that i love it i also would have done a viola davis as well um
because shout out to her vanity fair cover yeah amazing have you seen the movie she's in
on amazon called troop zero no no i haven't commercial a lot do yourself a favor i'm gonna
add a jim gaffigan and girl scouts it's so good awesome super fun my favorite girl scout movie is troop beverly hills so i'm
on board well this is like uh this is very much in that spirit and i think you'll you'll like it a
lot i'm here for it yeah troop zero we usually recommend i'm gonna recommend another movie later
in the show but i'm gonna say it right now troop zero hashtag doug digs it okay so um joyelle you get to go first this
might take us a minute the films of whoopi goldberg yes uh the color purple of course
of course introducing right introducing whoopi goldberg yes yeah the color purple
her audition i just want to say her audition for that was stand-up.
She auditioned in front of Steven Spielberg, Quincy Jones, and Michael Jackson,
and she did stand-up for that dramatic role.
Wow.
So that is like my dream, yeah, to land a dramatic role like that.
So, come back.
I'm wishing it into the universe for you right now hell yeah
okay lisa i'm gonna say sister act
now michelle i just want to throw in a reminder before i got it i already know what you're about
to say full title got it right and i'm gonna say sister act two back in the habit back in the habit baby
i had it i had it ready i wanted to say it um uh i'm gonna say the i gotta take this gimme ghost
yes baby come on oscar yeah oscar winning performance yeah i am going to go The Lion King.
Nice.
That's real nice.
It looked like Doug sat back in his chair for that one.
You like that?
Yeah, real nice.
She and another comedian were both characters in that together, right?
What animal
were they?
The hyenas. Yeah, it was Cheech.
Uh-huh. Yeah.
Cheech and Whoopi.
I have a question.
In a movie for kids.
I love it.
What's your question?
My question is,
I know if you can't think of one you're
out if you say one and it's not right you're out or you get to say another one well you know i think
everybody's really friendly here today in terms of that but the idea is that you're supposed to
not miss that you can't say one that she's not in. Okay. Are you really thinking? I mean, you must have a few still before you get to that.
Of course.
I just wanted to ask.
Yeah, you just want to know ahead of time how this is going to end.
Yeah.
I'm going to say Rat Race.
That's a real good one.
That's a great one.
That movie is so incredibly wacky
the weirdest things happen in that movie um okay so it's back to me and i'm gonna say
i'm gonna go you know just go back and start picking away from the very beginning i would say jumping jumping jack
okay that was mine and um uh okay god damn it um
you gotta have more than one i know i i've as soon as you have one in your head the person
next he's gonna say it right right because i had jumping jack flash in your head, the person next to you is going to say it. Right, right, because I had Jumpin' Jack Flash in my head.
I know, I am picturing her in like a sort of like a principal role, like not like in a school.
As Sister Act.
And yeah, a nun outfit. Just kidding.
God damn. There's no sequel to the color purple
the color purple too um uh i i don't have i don't have another one
and i'm not cheating otherwise i would i want to say isn't wasn't she in that movie with like
where this is where like masterpiece son was playing basketball hilarious
um i just gave someone a hint if it if she is um it's it was like called uh i can't i don't want
to waste any more of everybody my this is this is shocking to me i know i know she's been in so many
movies but you know what one thing that's probably hurting you is that she really hasn't been in motion pictures
since she's been on The View.
And she's been on The View for a while.
Oh, yeah.
And all I think of her is...
It's like, you gotta go back.
You gotta go...
I also...
I just loved her hosting the Oscars in all her outfits.
And like, her being Elizabeth is just in my head only.
Like, that's what's damn... Yeah. Her and Ted Danson. Yeah. the Oscars in all her outfits and like her seeing Elizabeth is just in my head only yeah it was just the
coolest dress and
I'm just like
yeah but I still have
more so don't worry
I just feel bad
that Michelle already did
one podcast with me where she just had to
sit and listen to everybody else.
No, that's okay. I love
cheering for people.
I've
already picked a favorite.
Not going to say.
Fight for it.
I can't think of
a name
of the movie and I just
look forward to being like, as you guys keep saying names. Yeah, you'll do a few of the movie and I just look forward to being like ah oh as you guys keep saying names
yeah yeah you'll do a few of those I think and there'll be some ones that you never have heard
of because oh well I believe that that's for sure okay so let's go to Joyelle what do you got what's
next I'm also say that I'm drawing blanks because I'm smoking weed right now yeah there we go
but I am gonna pull a Karina Karina on that one yes I remember I never forget
that movie because she did this thing where she like blew to make the light
turn green and I always do that in the car like there's this thing where she's
talking to the kid and she's like,
see, and then the light before, and she's like,
and then the light turns green. It's just the time. Anyhow, I love that.
That was, she was great.
I love this. Well, well, the three of us will play the game.
And Michelle, you do commentary on each.
There we go. Excuse me. I don't want to be a Douglas Farrell here, but,
go ahead. You know, I'm also not worried about a Douglas Farrell here, but go ahead.
You know, I'm also not worried about anybody finding him on social media because it's really not his thing.
Like, his social media handles are different on every site,
and he also doesn't seem to really recall what they are.
Okay, Liza.
I'm going to say Cinderella.
Hmm. Was that a tv movie it is is that allowed or no it is not allowed okay can i say another one
though or no am i out oh yeah no you're not out for that um that was an innocent was that the um
that was the whitney houston brandy cinderella yeah yeah oh wow that's so funny um I'm gonna say
Eddie nice basketball coach that was the basketball one oh yeah yeah that was basketball
and then you may recall that she did a stint in a movie pretty early on.
I think it might have been right after Color Purple,
co-starring our friend Bobcat Goldthwait called Burglar.
Oh, cool.
I told you I'm going to go deep on this.
Okay.
We know that you're good at it.
We get it, Doug. I know. This is between me're good at it. We get it. I know. This is between me and
Liza, right? We get it.
You're not in on this, right?
You're just fucking it up, right?
And at the end, you're going to give us a
rundown.
What's
next, Joyelle?
I'm going to go with
Serafina.
Whoa. Whoa.
Yes.
For those of you white people who have never seen that movie,
that is a movie that was a musical about the apartheid in South Africa.
And, you know, Whoopi loves to sing.
So they did that musical.
And I love that soundtrack.
And it was great.
Am I remembering right that there's some sort of accent
on one of the letters in the name Serafina?
I think it's an exclamation point at the end of the...
Oh, yeah, that's probably it.
That's probably it.
Yeah, I can see it now.
Okay.
Yeah.
Lisa?
I think I'm out, yo i'm back around fast you guys you guys made me feel real bad in this
five-minute conversation about when i had to leave get out little did i know everybody's out
no we're not oh sorry okay i'm so i'm just like I see one outfit but I can't things that other people say help you to
think of it or you start trying to think of sequels or uh you know other other places where
whoopi might be like she's not in jfk but you know what I mean one of those huge cast kinds
of movies sometimes yeah to try to think of of those kinds of things movies cast kinds of movies sometimes. Yeah. To try to think of
those kinds of things.
Mm-hmm.
Movies with lots of cameos.
She's definitely,
I don't know which one personally,
but she's definitely in a movie
with some Muppets.
Ha, ha, ha.
Hell yeah.
Right?
Hell yeah.
She's got to be.
Yeah.
But no guess, Lisa?
I'm like,
I want to just do a guess give me like like 10 more seconds
um yes i just picture her like is she like um get shorty
no but since you phrase it as a question that's not your answer
i always phrase shit as questions.
I don't think I've had this time.
Wow, that's amazing.
Damn.
What a kind leader.
The Flintstones?
I like it.
I like it.
I feel like she'd have a funny cameo
in the Flintstones movie, but I don't
remember that happening.
All right. Yeah. I'm out. Thank you.
All right. We're back to me.
And so I'm going to go with another kind of obscure one where she was a
housekeeper with a bratty white kid played by Doogie Howser himself,
Neil Patrick Harris.
Wow.
Called Clara's Heart.
No.
Oh, I remember that.
I remember that, Clara's Heart.
I remember that.
Wow.
I am going to go with a super fun cameo in top five.
Oh, that's perfect.
Oh, yes.
So good. Chris Rock. five oh that's perfect oh yes so good chris rock cedric the entertainer steals that one
jerry seinfeld in the strip club oh god what is it tell me they're in a strip club and it's just
like a whole bunch of vet comics just freestyle and and like and jerry seinfeld somebody i think takes a hundred
dollar bill of puts or his wallet it puts it in her pussy or something and he's like you know
where the wallet is really cute it's a great scene i love it yeah um all right it's back to me again
so i'm gonna say i you know i don't know if you remember this movie,
but that one of the movies I was driving at that she'd have a cameo in is
Robert Altman's The Player.
Oh, whoa.
Has tons of people in it. And she actually plays a detective in it.
She's not, there's tons of people playing themselves in it,
but she's actually playing a character in, in The Player.
She's the detective trying to figure out
if Tim Robbins murdered Vincent D'Onofrio.
Wow, star-studded.
Right, right, right.
Oh, everybody's in it.
The last scene in the movie is a movie within the movie
where Bruce Willis is saving Julia Roberts' life.
Whoa.
Who directed it?
Robert Altman. Okay. life whoa who directed it robert aldman okay and it was one of his tim robbins is a movie
executive who uh accidentally kills a guy during an argument and um and then you know it's about
the investigation and but it's just full of real stars playing themselves and then uh stars playing
the other characters like lyle Lyle Lovett is
Whoopi Goldberg's detective
partner. That's where they met,
right? When they had their
marriage.
I don't think they were...
Oh, you mean Lyle Lovett and Julia Roberts?
Yeah. I don't think
they met there, but maybe.
Could be.
Anyhow, that's how I tell it in my head i love it yeah uh okay so that's my
answer does joyelle have another one um i'm going into my question mark answer phase um
and i think was she in Beautiful Girls? I don't think she was.
I felt like she's in one of those movies with all these white girls
and then she's the black girl.
And then I thought the irony wasn't that she was in the movie.
Well, you're describing her career.
She's always surrounded by a bunch of white people.
But I know what you're talking about and
i'll say that it's my next answer okay um and shit i've done so well i yeah i'm because i feel
like you know in that jumper jack flash phase there was another um like funny cop one that
she did back then i felt like um i'm not sure but i also see her giving advice in a gray
like turtleneck yes like a therapy therapist kind of a thing i've got that image floating
and i'm also seeing like a queen a type of wakanda yes queen situation um and i can't pull that movie
out because it's like angelaett's character in Black Panther.
She did one of those, I felt like.
But was she in Star Trek, the movie?
I don't know.
I do like, you're in the ballpark.
I believe she was in the Star Trek Generations feature film because, you know, she was the bartender on the Enterprise for that show.
You know, for the one with picard but now there's this new picard thing happening i don't i don't i have trouble
following the star wars universe but um star trek i was gonna say oh yeah that's see that's how good
that's how hard it is for me to follow star trek as i call it star wars and it's also airing on
like a weird one of those weird cbs streaming or something like i'm not buying you like yes all
access no thanks how often do you win this doug all the time yeah okay no one's ever won this but
you not all the time no people win all people beat me because with any given actor, you're just going to have a weird, you're just going to hit a wall.
And like every time we play this game, as soon as we stop, we've rarely, there's always like some really big ones that we didn't mention that we didn't think of, you know, because it's just, you just, your brain just starts shutting down on you when you're panicking and having to, like, think of another.
You know, that's why Joyelle was like, she was in the area, but she couldn't come up with riding in cars with boys.
Oh, yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Oh, that was there.
Yes.
Yes.
And I don't, you know, I don't win every time, but I won this time.
Oh, snap.
I love it.
If we had an audience of people pick name tags,
then Joyelle would be the winner today.
She wins the whole day for besting the other guests in this final game.
Congratulations, Joyelle. I love these ladies and there there are no other ladies i'd
rather be on a competition wait are we done no that's what you say every time i know but can
you give us some whoopie goldberg movies that you had on deck that we missed
she wants more whoopie um well that's the thing is i i was starting to wind down myself i don't
i don't have another one that's ready to go i'm up in her i am right now finally yeah go ahead
and look it up go ahead and pull it up and it's it's for colored girls i totally should have got She was in The Muppets movie, just The Muppets. Yeah.
Toy Story 3.
Yeah.
Wait.
A lot of it's TV because she has just been chilling.
Yeah, you got to scroll to the movie part.
You got to get to her movie days.
Yeah, it's got to go.
You got to go back. You got to go back.
Oh, Girl Interrupted. Oh, shit.
Oh, yeah. That's the therapist.
That's it. That's the therapist.
How Stella got her groove
back. Oh, my God.
Yeah, no.
Yes.
Boys on the Side.
That's a deep
cut. Yes, Star Trek
Generation. She was in deep cut. Yes, Star Trek Generations. She was
in that movie.
So, Made in America.
Loaded weapon one.
That's hilarious.
Serafina does have an exclamation
point in the title.
And
yeah. We did pretty
well. Yeah, we did very well.
I think we did very well. Yeah, we did very well. I think we did very well.
Yeah.
All right.
Yeah.
And we were reminded that she stopped doing movies.
Fatal Beauty.
That's the one that I was in the jumping jack flash.
Fatal Beauty.
Oh, yeah.
That was right around the same time, right?
Yeah.
1987.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
She's had a career.
Yeah. She's been. Yes. Yeah, she's been.
You know, and then she does a comic relief
and hosting things.
She's just been all over the place.
It's no
bad thing that she doesn't have
a hundred film credits.
And lots of
TV, obviously, too.
So much TV.
She has my favorite career.
What are you enjoying, ladies, during this pandemic as far as movies go
that you either old or new?
Is there anything that you would want to recommend to our listeners?
One of my favorite movies is on HBO Max max right now and it's uh death becomes her
or it's on amber that is such a good movie one do you know whenever i see kellyanne conway
it makes me think of that movie like it's so good is that because you want to hit her in the face
with a shovel i just want her face to start falling off live on tv she looked like she got to do it that movie is so crazy because i want to watch that again yeah
for sure it's it's really doesn't feel like it uh when you just talk about it or think about it but
um there's like an effect shot almost in every shot of the movie because
Meryl Streep and Goldie Hawn, they get so, you know,
one of them gets a hole in their stomach and the other one gets a neck hole
twisted around and then they stay that way for like the rest of the movie.
So every shot they're in has to be some sort of effect going on.
Like it's a really highly technical movie for what's basically just three
people running around a mansion.
technical movie for what's basically just three people running around a mansion and bruce and bruce willis is like totally does not look like bruce willis in the movie and yeah
we had that on bhs you know like when my mom used to record movies you know off of because they had
the hbo we didn't in our room or in our tv room and i I watched that movie so many times.
Well, here's something my girlfriend asked me,
and all of you can maybe answer this.
Why would either Goldie Hawn or Meryl Streep's character
be interested in Bruce Willis' character?
It's just because he's rich?
Well, no.
In the beginning, like helen i
mean gold yeah goldie hawn's character was just like a bland looking woman like she was a smart
nerd i think so was he was a brilliant doctor i think they were like nerds together like yeah
then they go see meryl streep in a horrible show that's bombing the entire audience
hates it and i like what i see he's so in love with her he's like so good with her right in front
of his wife's face yeah and then yeah but why but why does meryl streep return that affection what
about him would be interesting because she wants to get back at her friend she's like jealous and
mad at her friend and she wants to like just be a bad friend to the fat woman that she doesn't even know yet no they're like best friends
oh they're friends yeah they're like friends for forever so it's their frenemies i think
they're frenemies they're super competitive lisa loves frenemies
because that's what yeah that's what a big movie star would do to piss off her friend
is just date some loser nobody.
No, he was a brilliant surgeon.
It's a weird move.
Yeah, but he's not.
He's like, you know, they depict him as an extremely bland individual.
He's not like fun.
I don't know why I'm defending him.
Of course he's not.
Like, I don't.
He was willing to kill his wife. I don't know why I'm defending him. Of course. Like I don't, he was willing to kill his wife.
I understand.
I don't know what I'm doing.
I apologize.
It's a patriarchy.
But I want to say a new movie that I saw that I liked on Hulu.
I liked Palm Springs.
I thought it was fun.
Oh yeah.
That was good.
That's what I have written down right here.
That's my,
that's my ongoing recommendation of the summer. It's
unfortunate that you got to either go to a drive-in or get Hulu to watch it, but I think
you might find it worth your trouble. Have you gone to a drive-in? I haven't, but that would
definitely be a movie I would have been happy to go see on a drive-in screen
with a second feature, whatever random thing they put with it.
Is somebody typing up something?
Oh, I'm sorry. Can you hear me?
Because I am typing down movies that I need to watch.
Palm Springs, the Viola Davis camping movie.
I was taking notes.
My bad.
I'm going to watch that camping movie today.
Troop Zero.
It's so good.
I got it.
Yeah.
It is.
It was such a fun, uplifting.
Can I watch it with my mother?
I think so.
It's not dirty.
I mean, it's got little kids in it.
But it's one of those movies like Bad News Bears or something where the adults kind of do
inappropriate things with the kids because they're
not good with kids.
Yes. I love those movies.
It's bad kids.
What you gonna do?
My friend Matt
Fernandez was on the show recently
and he recommended a movie called The Lodge
and I'd just like to quickly un-recommend it.
Ooh, interesting.
I want to see what this is.
I don't need to say anything more about it
other than I disagree severely with Matt on that one.
Joyelle?
Oh, yes.
So I was just down in Atlanta with my family
and I watch trash movies when I'm with my parents for some reason, because they just can't pick a good movie to save their lives.
And this movie is called Reasonable Doubt.
It's starring Samuel L. Jackson and Dominic Cooper.
And it starts off with like a good movie premise.
The premise is that like the dudes that the white guy's a detective.
He has a drunk night.
He ends up hitting somebody
and he has to get out of there because he's the
DA and he doesn't want to
lose his job. So they
find Samuel L. Jackson
responsible for the crime
and it turns out he was trying to kill this
dude because he's now a serial killer who
kills bad people. Great premise. That shit goes off the fucking rails and it turns out he was trying to kill this dude because he's now a serial killer who kills bad people. Great premise.
That shit goes off the fucking
rails and it just really gets
dumb. What is it called?
Reasonable Doubt.
Alright.
Yeah, and it was
working real well. The two of them, I was like,
oh shit, I can tell he's British.
His American accent sucks.
But other than that but
then it just went off the rails at the end so i would definitely say if y'all want to have a bad
movie night watch reasonable doubt sam don't care he will say is it a check i'll do it i mean it's
right there in the title the movie is telling you you should probably stay away yeah um michelle um i saw another streaming movie
well first i'm going to say is that you know i have a a child uh uh almost eight year olds and
we just watched i know the we watched um the indiana jones recently and holy shit I like had to have all three of them Raiders Raiders
Raiders and then the middle one is such a fucking shit show and all four we watched actually watched
all four of them right that we watched the fourth one which was better than I remembered it
and had a lot of talks about sort of gender roles in movies because it is like,
he just, every woman that's in the second movie, he is,
all she does, Kate Capshaw is scream the whole time.
And, and he basically, and then they just grab each other.
And, and she's like, loves him.
It just reminded me of like the film noir movies where suddenly they wanted to
get married you know for no reason and uh but it was well it's just when you have a movie that
where one man is playing the hero and it's a series of films it's just this weird trope i guess
it comes from james bond movies yeah of like there needs to be a different woman each time
and like so and then to-
Yeah, like why can't they just be monogamous?
I don't get it.
Kate Cashaw was my favorite.
But then, well, that's the thing is,
the first Raiders kind of upended
the damsel in distress by making Karen Allen's
Mary and Ravenwood really take care of herself. Like the first scene
you see her winning a drinking
contest against a big man, you know.
And then
so then for the second movie, they're like, well, this is the
prequel, so let's just really
go back in time and just have a
screaming damsel in distress like they
used to. And it's
I think she really commits
to it. And I think that's the i think
that's the most fun indiana jones movie because it's so crazy it's so ridiculous it's so funny
the monkey brains i was already talking to uh my kid about sort of uh uh things um that are
stereotypically offensive about something else
entirely and we're watching this movie
and then they're having that Indian dinner
where it's just like things crawling on the table
and then I swear
I felt like such a good parent because then
they were like, so is this
one of those racist things? I'm like, yeah
it actually is.
It's not
the monkey brains and the
uh and there was like the crawlings oh my god it was just but yeah it was it was a romp it was a
romp yeah that's that scene it's my least favorite it's my least favorite of the four the whole movie
is just how many uh gross things can we throw at this woman that an over-the-top hysterical woman would lose
her mind having that happen to her?
Snakes and bugs.
Over and over again.
It's not like I would do better than her.
It's kind of an accurate depiction of some people.
Yeah, I would be freaking the fuck
out. I would not be okay.
I don't even think I'd be in that position.
I don't remember why she was even there.
So do you, it's, it's really the circumstances of her being there are also extremely sexist.
Yeah, no, because he like kidnapped her essentially. And then she was,
yeah, she just sort of goes, yeah, but she's already, she's already in on the scene because
she's just, she's just a gangster's woman.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
But Michelle, do you have something?
So are you recommending?
No, no, I'm not.
It was an interesting thing to watch all four of them in a row.
But no, the movie I'm recommending,
which maybe it's already been recommended on the show,
but Netflix, Old Guard.
Yeah, we've talked about it on the show it's uh you know it's more of charlie's throne just being so kick-ass
so kick-ass do you just really what's that i mean i saw the preview everyone likes it there's just
something that i'm like i just don't care yeah no that's the thing that's what's going to happen to some people is that it really is hard to
empathize where it really is a movie about how hard it is to live for eternity
is basically the theme of the movie it's's kind of, kind of like the Twilight movies also, but, uh, but it's just about,
you know, these mercenaries that are also, they live forever. So they like,
you know, we might as well try to help people.
And, um, so it is, uh, it is weird.
Now I kind of want to see it. Okay. Okay.
Well, the story is good good it's not just violence although
there's lots of mortality yeah i like that yeah immortality yeah it's really while we're
while we're sitting here being picked off by a virus it's fun to watch
it's fun to watch a movie about people who can be literally have their head chopped off and survive that's also that also is the thing that comes up in palm springs though and i don't want to
say too much about it but also the the idea of um like the idea of uh people being immortal but
also still feeling pain is such a horrible concept for me to uh yeah and still feeling and still caring kind of about other
people even though they it's you know going to be reset you know i mean specifically that when
someone is physically injured it's going to be reset oh i see what you're saying yeah no it hurts
experience the pain of being the immortals in old guard and then we've said too much about
palm strength but in old guard they're
immortal but that doesn't mean they it doesn't hurt them as badly as it would hurt to actually
have your head chopped off so it's uh it's really a weird uh uh it gives you a lot to think about
for an action movie it's it's very thoughtful i want to sneak i want to sneak one more in and i'm
not finished it yet i started it
today i have 30 minutes left it's a netflix sci-fi which means it's very interesting it will have a
terrible ending but i'm not to that part yet but it's called arc and it's with a chick the blonde
chick from jessica jones and then some good looking white guy i don't know his name and uh but it is a
fucking it's a time loop situation and that doesn't give away too much that you won't find out. And, uh,
but it's, it's, uh, it's, I was surprised. I love time.
I love the time loop premise, you know,
ARK ARQ. Oh yeah. Yes.
In that case, in that case, nevermind.
In that case,
in that case, never mind.
But there is also an ARC movie that
also the cover looked like a time travel.
I was like, all right, this is it.
I see
this too.
Okay, so Michelle saying
Old Guard and ARC with a Q.
ARC, but I
haven't gotten to the end, so So arc with a Q and a caveat.
And if you want end of times virus situation, but a fun time,
this isn't a movie, but Last Man on Earth was very fun.
I hope I didn't break the rules.
The Will Forte show?
Yeah, it was great.
Oh, yeah.
Well, it's absolutely perfect timing because you're breaking the rules when we
don't have any more time anyway is that a big rule did i like are the fans gonna come after me
no no it's not a rule but uh it's just uh introducing something that i would talk about
at length but we don't have any time all right well yeah i had a fun time thank you so much bye gals and i'm not asking everyone to
say goodbye this is the part where i'm trying to wrap up the show and uh everybody's i say
they recommend a movie and then it's like let's talk about uh all the indiana jones movies which
i love i love talking about i'm sorry you guys i'm very goal-oriented right now but I want everyone to
get in a plug before we go so let's uh start with Michelle Balloon has a new album coming out yes
I've got an album it's called Permanent Hat it'll be out on on Friday July 31st on all of your
favorite platforms it actually played last week on XM, but I don't have XM.
So I'm just, and I, I, it did play.
I do know that, but I didn't listen.
Please go to my website, balloon.com, B-I-L-O-O-N.com.
You can get to that album and my, my first album from there.
Follow me on Twitter and Instagram at balloon.
And thanks so much for having me on here, Doug.
Thank you for being here.
And thanks for being put me on with two awesome people.
Oh, okay. I thought you were going to talk about that other thing again.
Joyelle Johnson.
Yes. Um,
I am moving to Atlantalanta from brooklyn next weekend so follow me on instagram and twitter and
i'll probably be tweeting about the drama that that's gonna cause so i'm excited about it yeah
getting out of brooklyn baby holy cow atlanta that's gonna be yeah that's an interesting uh
interesting move but i i'm personally excited about it because i you know i make it to atlanta that's gonna be yeah that's an interesting uh interesting move but i i'm
personally excited about it because i you know i make it to atlanta at least once a year to do
douglas movies so hopefully we'll be there at the same time yes sir we could travel if if if that
yeah if we get to that point um Well, thank you.
Lisa Traeger.
I have a Patreon.
It's all right,
but I'm trying my best.
Only $5 a month.
It's all right.
I don't do anything for you,
but just please send.
Yeah. I make videos.
I make videos
are they good quality
some are
but I'm having a good time
with it and
you can watch my comedy
like on Netflix or
I have an album Glitter Cheese
my name is Lisa
Glitter Cheese on the internet
Glitter Cheese all over yeah just go find that glitter cheese
yes thanks for having me
i don't know that glitter cheese sounds like the worst cheese and the worst glitter
not what i envision in my head when you bring them together they're they're like perfect together
well glitter is great cheese is great I envision like little eraser tops of like they look that
are different colors that look like cheese with glitter on them like that's what I think about
oh that is pretty yeah yeah that is that is a nice nice to think about about alright now I got a new image for glitter cheese
I was envisioning
a terrible cheeseburger
a cheeseburger with just a bunch of glitter
on it like
you shit glitter for days
I can't eat that
I don't want to shit out that
thank you to everybody
thank you
everybody who's here, everybody who listens.
One more time for Michelle Balloon, Joyelle Johnson, and Lise Traeger.
Probably the three best guests.
It's early in the year, but what was that thing we came up with earlier?
Murder.
Murdered on bitches. Murdered victim bitches. We with earlier? Murder victim bitches.
We'll be the murder victim bitches.
You're my
three leading MVBs
right now.
That's the name of this
episode.
As always, this confession
has meant nothing.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you,
cause Doug loves movies.