Doug Loves Movies - Mike Bentley, Shane Mauss and Jessimae Peluso guest
Episode Date: December 22, 2019Live from the American Comedy Co. in Sweet Home San Diego, Doug welcomes Mike Bentley, Shane Mauss and Jessimae Peluso to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stit...cher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby sticky seats
With 50 Adam Popcorn kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey.
Can I get a little bit more heat on this one?
This is what happens when I don't go to sound check.
Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
A little bit more, a little bit more. Hey, hey, hey, everybody. Little bit more, little bit more.
Hey, oh, that's it.
That's the sweet spot.
Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies.
Coming to you once again.
Hang on to that cacaw, sir.
Coming to you once again from the American Comedy Company
at Sweet Home San Diego!
Oh shit, you guys, we're doing it.
We're here.
Eddie the Eagle's here.
I wish he could talk.
The only thing he's going to say is,
hey, dog.
That's all.
That's most of it.
That's all I can do.
It is Saturday, December 21st.
Christmas is four days away.
I know you guys are busy with the season,
but did you bring name tags?
Oh, yeah, you did wow we got a real old school thing up here up front uh pat o'brien and humphrey bogart in great o'malley and your name is o'malley
so you didn't have to change shit.
But you put my face on there, and is that your face?
That's Sam Levine's face?
He's not here today.
Did you know he's Jewish, so he's very busy preparing to hate Christmas?
What's that South Park one?
Lauren South Park.
You just added your name to the front of the name of the movie.
Oh, your last name is South.
Okay.
I apologize.
I love this Jess Friends poster. Instead of Ryan Reynolds and Amy What's-Her-Nose,
it's me and Jeff Tate.
Amy Smart.
Okay, and then Mad Flax Fury Road.
Your name is Flax?
My last name is Flax.
Last name is Flax?
And you've got Pop-Tarts
and Kit Kats and M&Ms
and a J.
And what's that down there, an edible?
Seeds.
Don't give me a project.
No, but we'll see if anybody picks that one
based on all the bribery going on on there.
But great job, everyone.
That Home Alone one is scary looking.
From the corrections department,
two of Clark Wolf's answers in 12 Guests at Christmas
West Coast Edition were incorrect.
She said white rabbit instead of rabbit hole,
and I didn't notice.
And then she said the wrong Narnia thing.
She said lion, witch, and the wardrobe or something,
and the answer was golden compass.
Yeah, no, that's how little people care.
Nobody, like, nobody wrote to me on Twitter like,
she shouldn't have won.
The only person that complained about it was Sam Levine.
So we'll try to set up a rematch with
her and Sam, but my
decision on the night is final,
so she won by sneaking
those wrong answers past me.
Close enough.
Rabbit hole, rabbit fence.
Nobody remembers that movie either way who saw it yeah exactly
nobody i thought maybe one person might have all right prize bag i've got it down here on the floor
because uh we've got a tricky podium situation here uh to my right I don't want everything to fall on the floor. Great story.
Check this out. We've got two of the posters made by my friend Box Brown,
the Cannabis and Cheese Tour and the Doug Loves Scary Movie poster. Well, I should have signed.
Should have. These sunglasses suck because they like, they're like stretched out. So, I should have signed. Should have. These sunglasses suck because they like
they're like stretched out
so when I put them on top of my head they don't
stay there. They just fall down onto my nose
like I'm in a
romantic comedy or something. But
anyway, yeah, I'll throw my
signature on those before I put them back in the bag.
But anyway, both of those posters.
The little kit they give you with
a toothbrush and toothpaste
on uh united also also is star wars theme for the for i guess for the month rise of so this is a
special rare probably worth a lot of money uh rise of skywalker toiletries kit
and then i got a copy of a book that i believe was handed to me in this very club uh
a while back i read it i loved it uh it's written by a friend named derrick hughes he's a funny
comedian magician and uh it's called humpty dumpty lives live near a wall and uh yeah it's a fun
little uh i don't know if it's for kids or not i don't really know
what's for kids anymore uh douglas movie stickers douglas movies t-shirt a copy of seattle magazine
from the hotel room in seattle there's even like the corners even torn out as they often are on
hotel magazines because they're just used as scrap paper.
And I'm very excited about these last two things. I'm going to try to get the
microphone at the right level.
That's how excited I am. I want
it to be amplified and
heard by the podcast listeners.
I got a couple
tickets to see whatever movie you want
without limitation
apparently.
Right down the street or a block away at the theater box.
So two free tickets to see movies
at the theater box.
I believe Cats is playing there.
So you can run right over and check that out.
And then I just had very few of these made
and one to give away on this show.
I made these for some of the people
I've been working with
over on Getting Doug With High.
It is a, like I said,
there's only like six of these in existence.
It's a Getting Doug With High nightlight.
Yeah, I just brought it just for you guys San Diego
and uh
I think that's gonna be
a problem through the whole show
here I'll
put it up too high
that way I give it a head start
as it creeps down it'll still be
near my mouth.
All of that stuff, plus stuff brought by my three guests,
please give it up.
You guys ready back there?
Yeah, they sound ready.
Please give it up for Shane Moss, Mike Bentley, and Jessime Peluso.
Hey, you guys.
Hey.
Hello.
Hey, Chuck Chuck.
What's up, Dougie?
Yeah, make sure your mics are nice and hot.
Ready to go.
Are you getting the boops?
Are you getting the boops?
Because I'm going to use some of those.
So I just want to make sure they're coming in.
Going to drop a couple of those?
Boops.
I don't know what that is.
Yeah, it was like a joke I was trying to make about like a sound that would never happen that you don't need to check sound for.
And I feel like you guys were like, you guys were like, is that a thing?
Is that how people?
Yeah, I really thought that was this.
Yeah, I wasn't planning on something you're really going to go to there. All right.
Well, let's meet my guests individually starting with the
lady to my left it's jessica peluso everybody hi how many more clues did you need why were
you looking around it was just a joke it was a gag very fun very fun site Very fun sightseeing. I like this. The woman. Doug and the crowd just aren't getting any of our fun skits that we're doing.
We're like, why are you looking weird?
Oh, I was pretending like I didn't know what was.
But it was a pretend thing.
It was.
We're just having fun.
I have an Irish coffee.
What's up, Doug?
You got an Irish coffee.
I apologize you don't have anything to put it down on.
Oh, it's fine. It just makes me drink it
faster. It's all good. Yeah but then what are you going to do
when you're done? You going to throw it down like a Greek?
Oh throw it right into the crowd. Yeah they're in the
splash zone.
Open your mouths. You're going to all get a drip.
Hey how about that?
Just take it out of the mic stand.
Oh wait. No but it's still
How is this happening?
You just wait a minute, Jessamay.
Oh, my God.
Are you setting this up?
You don't have to.
Why don't they have cup holders on Mike's stand?
Where's my fucking cup holder?
It was in my damn rider.
Son of a bitch.
You guys can share this one.
Oh, sweet.
Thank you.
Mike, you're fucked.
Oh, he's going to go get a drink.
We probably should have done all this before, but guys Thank you. Mike, you're fucked. Oh, he's going to go get a drink. We probably should have done all this
before, but guys, you're seeing
inside Hollywood right now.
This is insider.
You know, you've got to just remember
every time you see a major Hollywood production,
there was stuff had to be set up.
There was water bottles left behind. Things had to be placed
out there for people to use.
Where do we put the Irish coffee
fiascos going on behind the scenes of Goodfellas?
Yes.
And also Game of Thrones.
Did you guys remember that?
They left that like Starbucks.
It really fucked me up.
I'm still pissed about it.
Oh, you are?
Yeah, I'm angry.
I'm very angry.
You seem like an angry person.
Furious.
And you are headlining two more shows here tonight.
Oh, that's right.
I forgot.
Yeah.
Oh, no.
You got quite a workload today.
Tonight, yeah.
Yeah, two more shows.
It's been great.
Who's coming back to see Jess and me later tonight?
They're like, we're going to be napping.
I told you there'd be some.
Don't you lie.
They're not lying.
Okay, cool.
That's why there was only a few.
Nice.
I'll see you later, folks.
It was a reasonable sampling.
I was just hoping anybody, you know, because you've got to pay for both shows.
So we appreciate you coming out to both.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
And anything else you want to add to that?
Hope everyone's doing well.
Holiday season.
Maybe do a little donation. Give back this holiday season. Oh, that's a everyone's doing well. Holiday season. Maybe do a little
donation. Give back this holiday season.
Oh, that's a fun idea. Yeah.
What's your favorite charity? Do you have one? My new one's
Make-A-Wish. Really? That's fun, yeah.
Helping kids out.
They sound like they hate it, but I love it.
Is that like you could just
donate money straight to
Make-A-Wish and then they turn around and give it
to celebrities just to hang out with the kids? YepWish, and then they turn around and give it to celebrities
just to hang out with the kids.
They pay Will Smith to come out and hang out.
I don't know if I like that system.
I don't know if I want to pay Will Smith to hang out.
I know it's great, but, like, you know,
can't I just show up and entertain the kid myself,
cut out the middleman?
I would like you to do your own Make-A-Wish for children.
Oh, my God. Hey, Make-A-Wish kid, you don't know me, you don't like me, but here we are. the middle man i would like you to do your own make a wish for children oh my god hey make a
wish kid you don't know me you don't like me but here we are that would be great it's not a wish
you made but i'm gonna make you wish you had what that would be great especially because some of the
kids have cancer we could help them oh i know. Well, that's a whole other thing. I think
that's the number one reason why people
are breaking down and saying, yes, okay,
let's legalize marijuana, because
you can't argue with something that
helps children.
It's just like, no!
Don't help those kids!
Let them suffer!
Yeah, it's crazy. Okay, well, thank you
for being here.
Thanks for having me.
We'll talk to you more as the whole thing goes along.
But let's also say hello to making his, I don't know, how many, is this your second time?
No, I've been.
Three or four?
Like, I'd say seven.
Seven or eight?
Seven.
Seven times.
It's Shane Moss, everybody.
Hello, Shane.
Hello.
Peep. Peep!
Peep!
I also...
I recommend that after you've got done giving to Make-A-Wish Foundation,
you donate to your local comedy club to get them better equipment and stuff.
I don't know if you've seen this mic cord here.
Maybe a little cup holder
for their mic stands.
Just stuff
like that. They are in need
as much as anybody.
Wait, there are some places that have cup holders
on the mic stands? No, it's an invention
that I had. And you're insisting that
this place should implement it first.
Yeah, and I'm mad they don't already have it.
Yeah, why don't you have it yet? How am I just now thinking
of this and no one else has?
Talk to the eagle.
There's an eagle
behind me.
No, it's hard to miss.
Look at it. It's scary.
You're not even casting a shadow on it and you're sitting
in front of it.
That's how well lit up that eagle is.
I was thinking about the listeners that can't see the eagle behind me.
I was helping them out.
We tell them about the eagle all the time.
Sometimes it talks, but the voice isn't here today.
You have a program, a show that you've been traveling with and podcasting with that you're going to do in this very room.
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow evening.
At 7.
It's called Stand Up Science.
I have two scientists and a second comedian on each show.
Jessie Mae will be.
What was that?
That was a new name.
That was a new name I gave you.
Jocimaya.
Or you were just kidding.
You were getting right intoessa may be there tomorrow night
if she feels like showing up.
Which she maybe not.
Won't.
Not.
I can't.
Guys, I had one half a hit of weed before this.
And I was like, I'm such a lightweight.
And now I'm beeping and booping, and, and, yeah, so my show
is a stand-up science, it's a half science, half comedy show, and, and so it's, it's half, like,
science talks, half comedy sets, and then mixed all together at the end, and I have, tomorrow night,
I have a ketamine therapist on, and a meditation researcher from San Diego.
So I'll give you a sense of the sort of thing that I do.
Yeah, come back to that show too.
Come to every show American Comedy Company does.
Yeah.
You don't have to come see one comic all six times that they go on
over the course of the weekend.
Just see them once, but come see everybody.
Because you never know.
You might miss the time that a comic gets electrocuted
from the mic cord that is clearly against
all of the regulations that exist.
It's gotten worse.
Yeah, I've been fiddling with it.
I think that's part of the beauty of what we do
is that at its most dangerous level,
I don't think a microphone has enough current going through it to kill a person.
Cut to Shane tomorrow night.
Because he didn't have a Stanford's drink and it spills all over him.
The next Mythbusters episode, can microphones kill a person?
The next Mythbusters episode, can microphones kill a person?
Yeah, I think the myth that they do has to exist in the first place.
That's what they're doing is going out.
We're spreading it.
They're not making up myths and then solving them.
They're out of myths.
The show's been on the air for a very long time. It's all make up myths at this point.
Now they're like,
can there be a horse dog?
Like they're running out of
myths.
Put Skittles into a microwave and it'll
turn into money.
We're gonna prove that theory
wrong tonight on
Mythbusters.
And also joining us
and I know the math on this one, it's his first
time, so be nice, it's Mike Bentley
everybody. Hello, hello,
hello, hello home.
Hello.
I'm actually the meditation
research specialist for tomorrow.
For Shane, so everybody knows.
Just so everybody knows
also that's not true. I worry that everybody believes you.
Yeah, that's not true. worry that everybody believes you you meant that
you do look like a guy that would do that
as we've established
how's it going Mike?
good buddy how are you?
good thanks thank you for being here
yeah of course thanks for having me
San Diego comedy phenom
that's him right there
I'm the San Diego comedy phenom
yeah if you want a mic to
drop I would pick this one yeah you got it that does look terrible
there was a row we show mic drop where that mic just rolled off onto the floor
on its own right you guys were sitting there when it happened right yeah it was
weird there's like a ghost did a mic drop
Which mic was it, that one?
Yeah, the one that's all fucked up
Yeah, that's
We don't even know if we can hear you
You're probably not even going through the mic
Oh, I hope people are getting this gold that I've been
Bloop
I wonder if that would be infuriating or kind of interesting
To listen to an episode where you can't hear what one person says
For the entire show.
You just have to glean what they're talking about.
I'm going to go with infuriating.
From the responses.
Depends on exactly.
He's already got somebody in mind that he wish would just shut up for an entire show.
Might be me.
I could take a guess who would probably be the one guy that nobody knows on this stage.
Oh, I don't think he wants anyone here.
I meant that he listens to the show and he has some personal most hated guests.
We all have our top two or three, probably.
I love that again.
The audience is just not going... Like, didn't think you were JK-ing.
That was just like
that's a real sad truth.
It is a sad
truth.
Merry Christmas, everybody.
I mean, I'm not above having a scientist
or a... What did you say he does?
Ketamine therapist.
Yeah, I'd have a ketamine therapist on Douglas movies.
Probably going to be funnier than some of the comics I've had on.
Especially if you do ketamine beforehand.
We're throwing out a lot of mystery burns.
Sounds like a great band band who's he talking about
where the mystery burns
they're at Coachella
next year
who was
did someone in the audience
have a microphone
who was that last voice
we don't know
do you do impressions
let's see
what do you mean Let's see.
What do you mean, let's see?
Give me one.
You think that's how it works?
Yeah.
Fucking try it. Somebody tells you what to do and you just do it?
Yep.
Okay, give us a little Sandra Bullock.
I think I just continue to talk the way I talk.
That was pretty good.
That's your own unique spin on it.
Right now you look like you just walked off the set of What About Steve?
Or what was that movie called?
Oh, yeah, that's right.
I think it was called that.
That was so weird.
Her hair was brutal in that movie.
Yeah, it was weird.
I look like I just walked off of The Truth About Dog.
Or Cat.
Was that movie?
That's Uma Thurman.
Yeah, but still I look like that.
The Janine Groffalo. Yeah, the Jan I look like that. And Janine Garofalo.
Yeah, but Janine Garofalo.
And dogs.
Yeah.
I hated it.
All right.
I think that response was,
did she really just walk off the set of a dog thing?
You guys are so gullible.
Yeah, it's a real did that really happen kind of crowd.
And I like that.
They're not cynical, but they are curious.
Yeah, they're kind.
It's a kind audience.
They're not skeptical, but they also have questions.
They have questions, but they don't feel furious.
They feel gentle.
It also just feels like the room's going to tilt this way for some reason.
It feels like everybody's more on this side this time.
That one guy sitting over there holding it down.
Okay, so let's talk prize bag,
because I know, Jess and Mae,
you don't want to part with what you brought.
It's so good.
Where is it?
Where'd it go?
I wrapped it in my jacket like a classy bitch.
Oh, okay.
Keeping it a nice surprise for everybody.
I put it in my jacket because San Diego's very eco-friendly.
You can't have straws.
You've got to save the fucking turtles.
Well, you've got some single-use plastic.
I do.
Yeah, but this might be a never-take-it-out-of-the-box situation.
I know.
I don't think you can.
I think it's a classic, instant classic.
Do you want me to show it?
Please.
And for this audience, that reaction that was big standing ovation that was big let's be honest i think i'm killing it huge reaction just remember
that reaction so it's the rest of your lives woody from toy story doll yeah it's one of my
specifically toy story 4 yeah there's even a forky there. So this is a new product he went out and got.
Yep.
I was high at Target in...
It's like my regular Saturday.
And it says with an arrow pointing to him and an exclamation point,
Posable!
Such a weird word to put on a toy.
Posable!
It's a really strange word.
Like, obviously it's posable.
You think we should put something else there,
like, fuck it if you want?
Fuck the toy?
Are you going to fuck the toy?
That's just a strange word.
I didn't even think about that.
Or have I able to do anything you want?
It can't say no.
Consent not needed. this audience would have been like
well I do want it do I have to
fuck it
to get it I don't
who's the top in this situation
these skits are really throwing me
I just love it
thank you for bringing that
you're welcome I thought it would bring some joy it did I just love him. Thank you for bringing that.
You're welcome.
I thought it would bring some joy.
It did.
And you can pose it, see?
So it's not a lie.
But it's very limited.
The posing is limited.
You can't make him touch himself, as you just did.
They should have just said poser and pointed it to him.
Are you guys worried about the feelings of a fake doll?
They went crazy when you just showed it to them
at the beginning.
People love Woody.
You guys got so mad
that I had to talk shit about
an anime object.
I take it
back. He is animated.
You can collect them all. There's the whole Toy Story 4
You're just gonna go into a money pit
With these things
Some small child
Spent a lot of time making that so
Isn't that ironic
That's so ironic
Don't you think
Remember when Toy Story 4
Remember when he fell off the roof and he got all mangled?
This is what he looked like.
He did.
He was like, squink, and his face was all jacked.
Booyah, poop.
What was it?
Booyah, poop.
Bloop.
Bloop.
All right, so that's going in the bag.
What do you got, Shane?
Well, I was going to try to fashion a Blu-ray of my documentary,
Psychonautics, a comics exploration
of psychedelics. It's available on
Amazon Prime, but to find a Blu-ray, I would
have had to go into Mordor.
That's a thing that no longer
exists. I have
an adult
coloring book slash
trip journal. I'm a psychedelic advocate.
I toured with a show
called The Good Trip. You can check that out. It's a psychedelic advocate. And I toured with a show called The Good Trip. And so you can check
that out. It's based on my act. And then I
have a new show. It's a psychedelic
version of Stand Up Science called Head
Talks. And I have psychedelic researchers on
it. And one of them is
Sophia Rocklin who wrote this book, When Plants
Dream. She lives in Peru and does
a bunch of ayahuasca and then writes about
it. And she's an anthropologist.
And you should check that out.
So that's The Things.
Just pass them on down here.
I'll consolidate everything so we can get on this flight.
That's so stupid.
Are we on a plane right now?
We are.
People were wondering.
Some audience members were wondering.
Or more like, does Doug think we're on a plane right now?
What do you got, Mike?
Guys, I brought a bunch of stuff for you.
Do you guys know of Donut Bar?
First of all, do you guys know of Donut Bar?
So they have my favorite donut.
It's called the Big Papa Tart.
It's just like a giant Pop-T know of it woman um there's also a pop tart inside anyways i got it it's right here i also
have three chocolate covered oreos individually wrapped uh my favorite energy drink um have you
guys have heard of taco stand by any chance yes Yes There's a $25 gift card in here for Taco Stand
And then
I grabbed three DVDs out of my box
Blindly because I don't want them
So this is what you get
You get The Recruit
You're welcome
You get Saw 2
Not bad
And you get Belly
So Merry Christmas everybody So you guys can all enjoy that Saw 2. Not bad. And you get belly.
So, Merry Christmas, everybody.
So you guys can all enjoy that.
Yeah, watch those in that order and the day just gets worse and worse.
That's a good one.
Those were all nice things,
but I also,
the saying,
my favorite energy drink,
doesn't sell it to me.
I guess I skipped over that.
I got two of these,
because there were two for four bucks at CBS.
So, one of you guys get a Celsius.
Enjoy your life.
Celsius.
Or Doug might drink it.
No, I'm just, you know,
don't know what it is, and I'm holding it.
It's good. It's delicious.
No sugar.
Oh, really?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's great.
All the sugars in the Pop-Tart donut.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, all the sugar.
Eat the two together, and you'll get your sugar intake.
It's like, take a jog, get diabetes,
and then watch a movie.
Don't forget the burrito either.
Oh, yeah. It's like a whole day in there. Yeah. get diabetes and then watch a movie. Don't forget the burrito. Don't forget the burrito either.
Oh, yeah.
It's like a whole day in there.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
This person's going to be set.
Yeah.
For a while.
One person's getting all that?
One person.
Walking away with all that. That's literally my entire day inside that bag.
Wait until they realize that my toy is actually real and it starts talking to them.
That'll be fun.
Yeah, that sounds great.
Wouldn't that be great?
That'd be so cool.
Before we get to the games portion, Jess May,
I like to ask all my guests a question.
And in your case, I'm going to ask you,
what was the last movie you saw?
Well, Doug, the last movie I saw was, what was it?
Knives Out.
I just met him.
And he knew.
Why did you really just ask him?
He said that.
I forgot what it was.
You just guessed?
Oh, you talked about it already?
There was.
I usually go every week.
I'm a huge movie
fanatic, but I went to go see Knives Out.
I thoroughly enjoyed it.
That's great, right? Jesse, could you tell us just really
quick, could you mention the movie that we
had never heard of that you were talking
about with Brad Pitt?
Oh, Ad Astra.
You guys don't know Ad Astra? No.
We know you do. It's a space movie.
Yeah, I guess you can call it a space movie.
No, but not like that.
Not like that.
It's a lot of Brad Pitt alone.
Exactly.
Woo, squirt material.
I'm back in.
Ovulation.
I like space and Brad Pitt.
Yeah.
Yeah, so I don't know how you missed it.
It's enjoyable.
Did you see First Man last year with Ryan Gosling?
No, I didn't.
Oh, okay.
Not a big gauze guy.
Okay.
I'm sorry.
You lost every woman in the room.
You don't have to be a gauze guy, but you're a space guy, though.
Yeah, yeah.
I think you'd like it.
That's another space one, yeah.
I enjoyed it.
A lot of close-ups of Brad's face.
He has a lot of crevices that are forming,
but I don't mind him.
That was the moon, Jessamay.
Oh.
So it was Brad Pitt in space?
Yes.
Yes, that is the movie.
Brad Pitt in space is what they should have called it
because nobody can remember Ad Asking.
They could have called it Flight Club.
Oh.
Yeah. Nobody can remember Ad Ascum. They could have called it Flight Club. Thanks, Doug.
Oh, no, I got a better one.
The Curious Case of Benjamin Outer Space.
It rhymed.
It rhymed.
Those are two different movies.
It ended up being better than I wanted it to be.
I'm seeing both of those movies.
So what was the last movie you saw, Shane?
The Joker.
Just Joker?
Joker.
Joker.
Right?
Yeah.
I was skeptical, and it was pleasing.
Okay.
Some woman from the darkness was pleasing.
There you go, Rotten Tomatoes.
Yeah.
Pleasing.
It pleased you?
Yeah.
It was good.
I'm kind of like, I'm getting to an age where I don't want to be over superhero movies,
but I sort of am.
I feel like Christopher Nolan kind of set the bar too high
and nothing's pulling the weight anymore.
And Joker, sorry, was...
I thought it was like, yeah, it was good.
Yeah.
So you're back. You're back into...
Yeah, yeah.
I'm like, I'm not going to do the whole Avengers.
I got to look up like the order in which I see.
Then I've got to watch, what is it, The Shield or some other?
No, I'm sorry.
Wow, I hope you didn't watch too much of The Shield
waiting for him to turn into the thing.
I'm just now noticing my error.
The Shield was another show.
Horribly violent.
And Shield?
What?
Agents of.
Agents of the Shield.
Okay.
Agents of.
Oh, my God.
You're going to be so bad at my games today.
First off, we're talking about TV shows right now.
Second, I like putting those in things where they don't belong.
Always have the, the, the, the, the, the, the.
I'll tell you what.
So do you know Suicide Squad?
And you know that she, that Harley Quinn
is getting her own movie, Birds of Prey.
Okay.
Yeah.
I'll check that out.
I'll tell you why you're going to want to check that movie out.
That's why.
Because that guy is going to be there.
In the theater.
Do they let one loose?
He'll probably show you his penis.
No.
The reason you should be excited about it,
and that's probably why that guy is excited,
is it's going to be another R-rated superhero movie.
Ooh.
Yeah.
Exactly.
What does that mean?
What is R-rated?
What is that in title?
Like you see dick print through the superhero costume?
That'd get me in the theater.
Yeah, that's going to be the difference.
That's why I'm excited.
That's what I thought.
Going to see a lot more dicks.
Why don't you ever see superhero dicks?
That's all I'm saying.
No, it just means they're going to swear a lot,
and the violence is going to be bloody
instead of comic book-y.
Like, your noise sounds like a really,
like a superhero violence.
Like a bloop.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, it sounds like one of those.
That's the kind of, instead of bam,
the new edgy
or dark version of that
is bloop bloop.
That's what that is.
Mike, save us.
Have you seen a movie
that was made lately?
Yes, I saw three movies
this week just for this.
Oh, just for this? So hold on, hold on. So first of Yes, I saw three movies this week just for this. Oh, just for this?
So hold on, hold on. So first of all, I saw Knives Out. It was very good.
Not what I expected because I didn't know what to expect
but it was really good. Then I saw
the Mr. Rogers movie.
I feel like I'm supposed to like
that movie but it was okay. I was waiting
for it to end. I left before it ended.
But I saw Dark Waters at the end. That was great.
I really liked that movie. It's scary.
We're all gonna die, just so you guys know.
No spoiler.
Spoiler. Wait, so you missed
the part at the end of A Beautiful Day
in the Neighborhood where
at the end, he comes back to life
and it turns out...
He's pretending to be dead this whole time?
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm going to go watch it again.
It is true.
I guess while I was watching that movie, I wasn't thinking,
how's this going to end?
It's just more like, well, this is going to end at some point.
Is it too emotional?
I guess you could...
You know, I was strangely not.
Moved at all?
I thought.
At all?
You were?
At all.
Really?
No, I was moved at the
idea that Mr. Rogers
really existed and that
Tom Hanks could get
close to seeming as
saintly and wonderful
as Mr. Rogers.
But even Tom Hanks
doesn't get there.
A documentary about
Mr. Rogers is you know more
You know on the nose deeper in the movie. Do they show what outfit they buried him in?
It was a sweater, but after they lowered him he took it off
Could you imagine can you imagine just before imagine? Just before they put the,
just before they put the,
just before they put the casket down,
they take his shoes off and toss them from hand to hand.
They should.
They should have.
Oh man.
I really thought this audience was going to go for that.
I just love though. I do love in the movie the way Tom Hanks really nails the, like,
Mr. Rogers, the way he really has a look on his face like it's amazing that he could throw
a shoe from one hand to the other.
He always acts like that, you know, because he's, you know, because little kids, they'll
try it and they'll probably be okay.
But, you know, like, they're not going to be great at it.
So he can't be too show-offy.
Oh, we just landed there.
He doesn't throw three flips in the air and catch it on his head.
Do you think he ever did a take where he didn't catch it and he just loses it?
He just fucking tears the set apart.
He's like, fuck!
I'm just happy.
I was, you know, I'm just happy.
Doug is tossing the microphone from hand to hand.
I'm doing all the narration for the people that can't be here.
And the subtitles.
For all the people who have died.
Those that can't be with us today.
Yeah.
That was me just putting a little sweater on all the people that are no longer with us.
Why is it little?
Why is it a little sweater? Are they teeny people?
Well, they're kind of dust now.
They are kind of dust now.
And so Dark Waters, you say, was the third one?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You saw that, right, Doug?
I have not seen that yet, but it is on my list.
Very good.
Great, Mike.
Everyone that's seen it has said the same as you.
Yeah, it's very good.
It's heavy, and it's about how fucked we are.
But we all knew that.
We kind of know that.
We know we're fucked.
I mean, the water's not clean.
We all know that we know we're fucked i mean the water's not clean we all know that i had to my show stand-up science i had to stop booking ecologists on it because it
was just they just come on and cry yeah hard to get laughs after after the ecologist gives their
little spiel about algae. Here's a fun thing
about algae. This is the
next great mass extinction.
That's a fun
fact about algae.
Side note, there's a great book
about that, a novel called
Cold Pursuit?
Fuck that.
I'll think of it, but it's about
bacteria taking over and killing people.
Good book.
Cold Pursuit?
No, it's not cold.
Cold Storage.
Thank you.
Cold Storage.
You're welcome.
Cold Storage.
And it's written by the guy who wrote Jurassic Park.
What's his name?
Thank you for having me on the show to forget and then remember all on my own, Doug.
I need some work ininkoba Beloba.
It's a good book.
Some what?
Ginkoba Beloba.
Oh, yeah.
Did you think that was another Shane Moss noise?
Where do you get that stuff, Abu Dhabi?
Down here at Homeless People.
You don't get your Ginkoba Beloba from Abu Dhabi?
This is why I did the sound check the way that I did, by the way.
Because I knew we were going to say Ginkgo biloba in Abu Dhabi.
You wanted those words to land?
Yeah.
Okay, good.
All right, that brings us to the part of the show where I like to say,
let the games begin people brought name tags
lots of great name tags to choose from I need each of my guests on stage to go
select one physically get it from them there's some in the back you might want
to check out bring it back to your seat
and while you guys do that we're going to go to a brief commercial message we'll be right back
hey no sponsors this ep so let's talk road dates tonight or tomorrow night or last night, depending on when you listen to this, I'm doing stand-up
at the American Comedy Company in Sweet Home San Diego.
Eight o'clock should be an intimate turnout, what with Christmas coming up a couple days
from now.
Then we got the taint shows.
Then we got the taint shows.
My annual holiday taint show in Irvine, California is at the Improv on the day after Christmas, December 26th.
And then on the weekend, on Sunday, December 29th, I'm doing Doug Loves Movies at Cap City Comedy in Austin, Texas at 420. And then I'm doing two stand-up shows
on New Year's Eve at Cap City
Comedy. Looking
into next year, Doug
Loves Movies comes to the Brea
Improv on
January 4th.
This is a special time,
3.30. And then
I'm doing a movie interruption and a Doug Loves Movies at SF Sketch Fest in San Francisco, January 18 and 19.
And then on February 1st, that's a Sunday, I'm finally back at the LOL Comedy Club in San Antonio, Texas, doing a Doug Loves Movies taping at 420.
For all my dates and deets,
go to DougLovesMovies.com
and enjoy the rest of the show.
All right, we're back.
That one's great.
Only one microphone fell on the floor
during the break.
Three name tags were chosen,
all for clearly obvious reasons from where I'm sitting.
Shut up!
There's stuff taped to each and every one of them.
Tell us what you have, Jessamay.
I just saw snacks, and I got excited.
Yeah, well, some have snacks and weed, so I don't know if you looked hard enough for that.
This one just touches home, hits home.
Steel Magnolisa.
Great movie All star cast
And they got like
Four Snickers bars
And there's four meals
Attached
Just in case
Shelby
Gets
Her blood sugar
Gets too low
Yeah
I mean Dolly Parton
How can you go wrong
With Dolly Parton
You can't
She's a damn delight
She's the best
Oh god I love it
It's great.
It's one of my favorite movies
besides Toy Story.
There you go.
I'm excited about it.
Good job, Lisa.
I would have put that one
to be kind of a long shot.
Yeah, she probably thought that too.
Yeah, but to have a guest on stage
that appreciates Steel Magnolias like you do.
My mom and I, we love that movie.
Drink a juice, Shelby, drink.
I don't want them, mama.
I don't want them.
Remember when I asked you earlier?
Looks like two pigs fighting under a blanket.
Fucking love that movie.
It's like the Anchorman for women as far as quotable lines.
I like that.
Daryl Hannah plays a virgin.
It's really...
That must have been hard.
She probably had to method the fuck out of that role.
How do you method being a virgin?
Just go around and get unfucked by everybody?
Yeah.
Ask for your hymen back in your CDs.
Wouldn't it be great if you could get your hymen back in your CDs. Wouldn't it be great
if you could get your hymen back?
Oh, I wish.
I mean, not you.
I wish.
I make a wish.
Aw, good callback
to the charity that you hate.
Shane?
So just for the audience,
this is a spoof of a movie.
It's a spoof of a movie. It's a spoof
of the movie Home Alone.
It says
Tone Allure
and
a family comedy.
The reason why I picked it, I actually didn't
see the candy bars until
after I picked it because the face
is so good.
It's
Doug on
Macaulay Culkin and it's
photoshopped in
just the right kind of like
I couldn't do that but that's
bad.
There's like a real
they didn't blend. Two different skin tones. There is like a real... They didn't blend.
Two different skin tones.
There is like a...
I know there's like a little tool
that blends like two colors together.
And they just didn't go for that.
But the rest of it is oddly still pretty good.
It's like what he did was cut out the thing
and then put it in a printer.
Yeah, there it is.
He's got the wet bandits are Jeff Tate and Dan Van Kirk.
I'd be terrified if that was my son.
But also, Shane just...
I leave him home alone all the time. Give me that for a second.
Shane just
flew through the fact that he changed
the tagline
to a family comedy
without the comedy. I didn't see that
part.
No, you just read it out loud, but
didn't deliver it. I didn't process it.
You just read a family comedy
and let's see. It just read a family comedy.
And let's see.
It looks like this is cardboard.
And I think there's some candy on here somewhere.
I did miss some cardboard comments. So thanks for picking up the slack.
Mike, who are you playing on behalf of?
Is your name Josh?
Perfect. Guys, fucking idiots, mine came you playing on behalf of? Is your name Josh? Perfect. Guys,
fucking idiots, mine came with weed
on it. Yeah. Fuck!
This guy put a joint on it.
It says Josh Boys
with Doug.
A bunch of different other Joshes.
Oh yeah, Josh Hart.
That's great. That's fun.
But also it came with weed that I'm going to take off it.
You're not getting that.
Also, it looks like your picture was on this at one point, but it got cut off.
No?
Yeah, I put myself a little bit.
Yeah, you cut yourself off.
But I'm playing for Josh, the Josh boys.
I like this a lot.
But there's weed on it, so.
There was weed on it.
Yeah, you just never know.
You never know what's going to work in getting a name tag picked.
That will almost always work.
Thanks, Josh.
I think some other people had weed on theirs.
They didn't get picked.
What?
Yeah.
You had weed on yours, too?
Can I re-pick?
Oh, she's got a whole...
Oh, yeah. Look at all those fucking snacks. Yeah, she's got a whole... Oh, yeah.
Look at all those fucking snacks.
Yeah, she's got candy and weed, silly pants.
Shit.
I still like it, Lisa.
It touches my heart.
Yeah, I mean, what movie was that one?
What was the movie?
Mad Flax?
Yeah, is it Mad Max?
You don't love Mad max as much as you
love steel magnolia flax you like flax seed oils it's really good for you it is yeah you have to
eat it ground up though so your body can absorb it you get that max how do you grind it up like
in a weed grinder you can ground it a little bit with like those things that one of those things
you know grind up matcha like one of those things. Isn't flax already like the smallest seed in existence?
Yeah, but you lose a lot of the bioavailability if you don't ground it.
Yeah.
Who's talking science now?
Yeah.
Whoa.
I read that in the back of a bottle.
Yeah?
I'm buying it.
All right, well, that's who everybody's playing for,
and somebody's, one of those three people
is going to take home all this stuff today.
Have you won before, Josh?
Yeah.
But you've had a name tag up here before?
Yeah, okay.
It's the fucking weed, man.
Is Josh a regular fan?
You come out a lot, Josh?
Yeah, he's been to some shows.
You deserve to win, Josh.
Yeah.
But it's going to be fucking hard for you.
You might see him out on the sidewalk after the show,
if you know what I'm saying.
I mean, that sounds creepy, but I'm into it.
Oh.
It's like that's where everybody meets in San Diego.
Motherfuckers just congregate on the sidewalk.
No, just where we go after the show,
because it's outside and we can smoke.
After he just hotboxed
the entire green room.
Can't get any of these people
in the green room.
Was you?
I farted.
Guy who doesn't know
what hotboxing means.
Huh?
Guys that are learning.
Audience that's learning
when we're doing spoofs.
There's still, we isolated it.
There's one person in that corner real sad about the homeless joke.
We're zeroing in on where the sensitivity is.
I feel it from over there.
I don't even, we did a homeless joke?
Yeah.
I've done like four.
He was going gonna be out
On the street afterwards
Sad or something
Not sad
I wasn't trying to make
A homeless joke
No I think
Because I made like
Ten of them so far
I was making a
Let's go outside
And smoke weed joke
Ay
I like to do a character called Guy
that criticizes the audience for not getting jokes
through an entire show and then
doesn't get a joke himself within that
also known as Pete Holmes
Denver Denver!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Okay, this first game we're going to play.
Audience favorite.
Live, die, repeat. See see what did i tell you they went crazy mike why do you have your phone out i'm trying to text someone for another drink
is that is that how they do the service here i don't know i mean you could just ask
i'm sure you could just ask yeah just just go ahead and ask if they do the service here? I don't know. I mean, you could just ask. I'm sure you could just ask.
Yeah, just go ahead and ask.
If they do the old-fashioned microphone way,
I'll take a vodka soda.
Oh!
Shane, that's so weird. That's actually what I wanted.
What was the wink?
What was the creepy uncle wink?
If you know what I mean.
I'll take a vodka soda,
if you know what I mean.
Which was, I definitely want a vodka soda. Guys know what I mean. Which was,
I definitely want a vodka soda.
Guys, one half of a hit of weed.
So it sounds like two vodka sodas, Shane?
Yeah.
Cool.
If anybody heard that.
Okay, please,
dear American Comedy Company,
please bring my guest
two vodka sodas.
Do you need something, Jessamyn?
I'm great, thank you.
She's great. I'm great, thank you. She's great.
I'm great.
Thanks to you, American Comedy Company.
With their palpable energy.
Yeah.
We'll do this first game because we'll probably get through it
before the drinks get here.
Because it's a very fast game.
Well, they have a fast staff here.
I'm going to say the name of a motion picture.
Slowly.
First one of you to repeat it back correctly. I'm going to say the name of a motion picture. Slowly.
First one of you to repeat it back correctly in its entirety is the winner.
It sounds too easy, but I'm so confused.
Well, it's too easy for three people at the same time.
Okay.
Therefore, probably pretty difficult.
I'm just pausing to get the drinks up here.
I know.
I thought it was like
cinematic suspense.
I was waiting.
No, I was just waiting
for these guys
to get their drinks.
I'm good, Doug.
I know the rules.
Dude studied.
He knows all the rules.
He's watching movies
for homework.
He brought like 17 gifts. This guy's great. Yeah. He's studied. He knows all the rules. He's watching movies for homework. He brought like 17 gifts.
This guy's great.
He's great.
Yeah, don't mention him by name.
Mike's still young and hungry.
Mike's older than Shane.
The audience at home doesn't know that. I was speaking to The audience at home
doesn't know that.
I was speaking
to the audience at home.
Really?
Yeah.
I'm not saying
you look old, Shane.
He just looks, you know, fresh.
Well, he looks
like he's in better shape.
I haven't been beaten down
by comedy yet.
It does age you.
I would have guessed
he was younger than me.
This isn't the game.
Nope.
No, we're not playing the how old do you think everybody is, Shane.
Good point.
Game.
This is live, die, repeat.
So I'm going to say the title.
Good luck.
Harry. Potter.
In the Hendersons.
Harry Potter.
In the Sorcerer's Stone.
Harry Potter in the Castle of Witches.
The Harry Potter and the... Harry Potter and the...
Harry Potter and the...
Do you guys hate me right now?
Harry Potter and the...
Goblet.
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.
That's it, Jessamyn!
You did it!
Yeah! It's also what I call myself when I have my period. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. That's it, Jessamay. You did it. Yeah.
It's also what I call myself when I have my period.
Just a goblet of fire.
Sorry, guys.
It was a feminine joke.
I went down to the...
They're down there telling lady jokes.
Good job, Jessamay. I got really excited about it yeah no i was really i was impressed because it didn't didn't sound like you could name any other harry potter movies
other than sorcerer's stone isn't there like the castle of witches no that's not one of them. Okay. But yeah, there was eight of them all together, I guess.
And I just thought it'd be like three people just yelling out every Harry Potter they could think of.
Yeah.
I didn't do the thing where everyone's like, you got to hang in there through Harry Potter.
Seems like it's kids at first, then it's for adults.
I'm like, well, I'm going to watch things that are for adults
right now.
Right away.
Right away.
I mean, I'm a huge fan
of Harry Potter stuff,
but I would also not,
I wouldn't really call it
for adults at any point.
Well, it's for adults
that still live at home.
They're still, yeah.
They're still younger than most of the adults
we're talking about.
They're still younger than them at the end of the thing
because they're still only like 20 or something.
There's these lesser known films I'm into,
Lord of the Rings.
I don't mean to sound like a fucking hipster up here
with these arbitrary...
Okay, what would have happened?
Let's
reset.
I mean, Jessamay officially
won that game, but here we go.
The Lord
of the
Lord of the Rings
Rings.
The Lord of the Rings and the Sevens. The Lord of the Rings. Rings. The Lord of the Rings and the Sevens.
The Lord of the Rings and Girls Trip.
The Lord of the Rings.
That's a little crazy.
The Lord of the Rings and the...
Which one?
Return of the King.
Yes, he got one.
Oh, that was a real harsh
call out there.
That was good.
No, I was excited that you would be good at it.
I was trying to throw you
a soft one.
Is that the right expression?
I was trying to put a soft one in your mouth.
Why do I keep saying these things?
That's a personal problem.
Yeah, nobody wants that.
No, thank you.
Okay, Jessamay, you did it.
Thank you.
You won the first game.
You know what that means?
I don't.
Hard ball coming out of you.
That means you're eliminated from the show.
Thank you.
Bye.
It's time for you to leave.
What time is your first show tonight?
I don't know.
Seven, maybe?
It's right now.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
This is her first show today.
Yeah, we're just going to combine it.
What time is your second show?
Seven-ish?
Sure. About seven-ish. Probably. What time is your second show? Seven-ish? Sure.
About seven-ish.
Probably.
What time is it?
Oh, 730.
Yeah, thank you, sir.
Oh, nice.
Great.
That'll give us some time.
Yeah.
I'm going to do a little meet and greet up here on the stage.
Anybody who wants to can come up and get a picture with me and Eddie.
Is that the eagle's name?
Yes.
That's such an eagle name.
It is.
Such an American eagle name yeah people love
them I bet you there's a bunch of girls
in Florida with this tramp stamp
exactly
with the American
flag behind it yeah
yeah but it's probably in the front
it is it's certainly
like the most in youryour-face patriotic comedy club name in existence.
And I say that as someone who wants to work here again.
I'm not sure if that's an insult or not.
There are just not enough comedy clubs, Shane, that are fighting the threat of communism
the way that the American Comedy Company is.
That's why we're underground where no one can find us.
That's why half the equipment doesn't work.
This comedy is made here in the United States.
Yeah, don't try any of your fucking foreign comedy over here.
I'm going to get a Trump stamp tattoo.
Trump stamp. A Trump stamp tattoo. Trump stamp.
A Trump stamp.
Right on my lower back.
It's this tattoo with Trump's face on it.
Someone in the audience
just went, ew.
Very serious.
Actually, that probably wasn't a good idea
for a tattoo
I'm just trying to come up with a joke
around the word
inscreechment
alright
that's fun
I didn't mean to frighten you with the glasses
I know it's a Superman situation
where you're like now who's this
Wendy Clark can't show up I was sitting next to Superman where you're like, now who's this?
When did Clark Kent show up?
I was sitting next to Superman and then suddenly Clark Kent is here?
It really shook me for a second.
I was like, are you doing a bit right now?
I thought it was like you're going to do a bit.
I want to be able to read my own terrible handwriting
on this stage where the eagle gets all the light.
I'm Ben Dougson.
Totally
sober and never smoking
weed ever.
Ben Dougson.
The sober Doug
Benson.
You need to do that. That's fucking
funny.
Just like I am out here telling you jokes.
Drugs are bad.
I want you to do the debates.
Puts the glasses on and lists the states where weed is still illegal.
All right, here we go.
From memory?
Well, it's hard because you have to just do it.
They made everything on the West Coast.
Can you see Phil's glasses?
Wyoming.
Idaho.
Nebraska.
Kentucky is on the verge of making it legal.
Very exciting.
If you can do all of them right now, that's amazing.
No, I don't think so.
Can I just say the South?
Exactly.
Because then also all those northeastern states, they've got it,
and New York kind of has it.
Yeah, it's places where they think racism is still okay.
Those are the places that are going to go last for legalization.
Basically, yeah.
But there's some pretty racist places that have flipped, I feel.
Yeah.
I mean, there's a state that I know of that has legal
weed, but they don't get Martin Luther King
Day off. What's that? Which state?
Oh, you know what? They finally fixed it.
You do get it off there, so I take it back.
Did that just come in your ear? See you soon, Arizona.
Yeah.
This just in.
This just in.
Your news reporter feed.
Apparently I was mistaken when I reported earlier.
But it turns
out that they do celebrate Martin
Luther King Day. Weird. But
it's grudgingly.
But that used to be a staple of my comedy
when I would go to Arizona.
I was laughing at them because they
refused to take a day off.
I do like the...
I like that they need the day off
because otherwise people are too furious
around the workplace on that day.
Yeah.
Just let them stay at home and blow off steam,
however they do it, in the privacy of their home.
By the way, I'm going to be in Phoenix, Arizona
December 26th through 28th.
And, yeah.
Cool.
Just there? Are you going to say where?
Actually, Phoenix is cool.
Where at? Just like walking around the town?
I don't remember.
Okay.
I'll look for him. He's going to be in that town.
You don't know the name of the place you're playing?
Is it
If we guessed would you tell us we're right?
Yeah
Scandinavian Comedy Co
It's a smaller
Oh boy
I have no idea
House of Comedy
Stand Up Live
Tempe Improv No Tempe University of comedy stand-up live no neither of those there's a tempi improv the improv no
tempi university oh oh oh chiba hut chiba hut no the arizona diamondbacks stadium it's in
glendale arizona it's called stir crazy great oh that's that club that's also an escape room
Crazy.
Oh, that's that club that's also an escape room.
Is it also an escape room? Yeah, you can't.
The comedian doesn't leave the stage
so everyone's gone and they can't get out
until they figure out where the key is.
Oh, good.
Because I'd never been there before
and I was worried it wasn't an escape room as well.
I believed it.
Stir Crazy, that's a weird name for a comedy club.
There's a lot of weird ones.
We're saying that from the American Comedy Company.
It's a better name for a coffee shop.
It's a great country.
Who is that?
Just the guy who, you know, named it.
Named the club?
Yeah.
America.
I don't think the guy named the club sounds like that.
All right, this next game is in honor of a lady celebrating a birthday today.
I hope she's celebrating.
She's probably in jail somewhere because she gets arrested every Friday.
It's Jane Fonda.
It's Jane Fonda's birthday.
I love her.
Yeah.
Thank you, Jane.
So this game is called Who Are You More Fonda?
Clever.
Clever girl.
I'm going to name a movie, and you tell me if it's got Jane Fonda, Henry Fonda, or both.
Oh, fuck.
But it's just a guessing game, so you have a one in three chance
of getting it right when I ask you, Jess and May.
And then if you miss, it'll go to Shane,
so he'll have a one in two chance of getting it right.
And if he misses, it's going to go to Mike,
and he should just know the answer at that point.
But you'd be surprised what happens.
You would think.
Yeah.
So we'll see.
All right?
So, you know, don't worry about it if you don't know it.
Just take a guess.
I'm already in a pure panic spiral.
No penalty for wrong guesses.
You just don't get a crucial important point.
This is of course
just between
Jessamay and herself right now.
No help from the audience
please. And don't look
at them.
I'm looking into them.
They'll do things with their eyebrows that give you the answer.
They're going to Morse code their brows?
Right here, miss.
Take your glasses off so I can see your brows.
Oh, I should also mention that it was Harry Potter
and the Goblet of Fire because it is arguably
the most Christmassy of all of the Harry Potter films.
They have a Yule ball.
Yule ball. Yule ball.
Are those prescription?
Mm-hmm.
Jess and May.
Yes, Doug.
Jane, Henry, or both.
Walk on the wild side.
Just Jane.
That is correct.
For a bonus point,
what was the name
of the character she played?
Hot Toddy.
I was just ordering a drink.
There really aren't any bonus points or anything in this game,
but I think you'll enjoy the name of her character.
Her character was called Kitty Twist.
Oh, my God, I was going to say titty something.
Yeah.
I was.
That's why I thought you'd like it.
I was going to say hot titty, but I went toddy
because I was trying to be clean.
Yeah, they went with Kitty Twist.
All right.
Moving on to Shane.
Jane, Henry, or both in a motion picture called Cat Baloo.
Cat Baloo?
Cat Baloo.
Okay.
I'm not just adding a syllable to the word blue
It's baloo
I'm going both
You're going both
Incorrect
Mike
Jane again
Jane is correct
Mike is on the board
Coming back to you.
Back to you, Jessime.
What the fuck is that?
What?
Don't worry about it.
It's a great drink.
I don't know.
A little something special in there?
Yeah, a little extra.
A lot of something.
Flaxseed.
Probably just something fell in on the way over to you.
Yeah.
It's just like some lime or something.
A white lime?
Oh, like a little weird, like, you know, a lime has little weird pieces of, like, hair and skin on it. Yeah, it's just like some lime or something. A white lime? Oh, like a little weird, like, you know,
lime has little weird pieces of, like, hair and skin on it.
Yeah, it's just like...
Just the way I like my cocktails.
With hair and skin.
Jessamay.
Are we still doing Jane Henry?
Okay.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
I've got about 70 titles.
Perfect.
Which one or both was in Hurry Sundown?
Just Her Dad.
No.
Am I wrong?
You're wrong.
That's what no means.
I didn't hear the end part.
I just heard the oh.
Oh, just me.
Shane?
Both. You're going. Shane? Both.
You're going both for Hurry Sundown.
Incorrect.
Mike is in a sweet spot.
I'm going to go Jane.
Jane is correct.
We're back to Jessamay.
Ready.
I was just to throw everybody off.
The motion picture is called
They Shoot Horses, Don't They?
Shit!
They Shoot Horses, Don't They?
That's both. Sounds like something they made together. They shoot horses, comma, don't they? Question mark.
That's both.
Sounds like something they made together.
No, incorrect.
Damn it.
Shane.
I'm not fond of this game.
Hey.
That's the one you come with me on.
They like puns.
They like puns. I was hoping they'd get so excited they'd carry you out of here.
I think it was just such a relief.
Like, finally somebody said it.
All right, Peter.
All right, Peter.
He passed away this last year.
He's terribly missed, but he's not in this game.
I'll do Jane again because you did three in a row and it's really fucking with my head.
The correct answer is Jane so weird movie
title they shoot horses don't they it's about a marathon dance competition I'm
not kidding I can't take you seriously. I'm absolutely serious. Are you thinking of Tango and Cash?
No, I don't think that.
I think that was only...
You got nothing for that?
All right.
Tango then Cash is what you're thinking of.
Got it.
But this movie, they shoot horses, don't they?
It's ballroom dancing,
and they have to do it for like 72 hours or some shit
with occasional breaks
but also occasionally they make everyone
that's still in the competition
run around the room in a circle.
Like it's not just dancing
they also have to run from time
to time. I've heard about this movie.
So it's a bunch of sweaty tired people who wish they were
dead just like
a horse.
Shit. Happy holidays.
It's a very heavy
upsetting movie and yeah
definitely check it out on Christmas.
Shane needs a snack.
He's getting into snacks.
What are you doing there on the Twix?
You going left tower or right tower?
Too soon.
You judge from the front?
Is it from the perspective
of the Twix
or is it no
I'm doing it right
I'm doing it right tower
you don't know how to eat a Twix
what the hell is wrong with you
those are good aren't they
what one did you go with
I've never I've never had anyone look at me
nodding before asking the question like guiding me into it and then go twigs are good aren't they
i've never had that happen before you were never a child? It made me appreciate it more. Okay.
It's Mike's turn. Opening your mouth
when you're eating brown stuff
is very...
It's jarring.
For the listeners at home.
Yeah.
For the visual perspective.
Mike.
What's up, bud?
Jane.
Henri.
Or both.
Comes a horseman.
What the fuck?
Yeah, can you believe that?
That was really a movie title.
Comes a horseman.
I just fell for that.
Doug, standard spelling?
And everyone was like, the Iceman was just here.
Enough coming.
Iceman cometh? Come on.
I mean, obviously, it's just Henry.
No.
Jessamay?
I would have said Henry.
Well, what would you say now that you know it's not Henry?
Maybe that means...
I still want to say both.
You do?
Yeah.
No.
Son of a bitch.
Shane. It's Shane a bitch. Shane.
It's Jane.
It's Jane.
It's Jane, Shane.
She'd be working.
With confidence.
Yeah, good job.
She's beautiful.
She's great.
Do you actually have 40 examples?
He does.
I think I said 70.
72.
No.
I don't have 40 or 70.
We're almost done.
But then we got one more game that's going to determine the winner today.
It's back to Mike, right?
Yep.
Okay, Mike.
Give it to me.
The electric horseman.
Both.
Both of them.
Both of them.
No.
Fuck.
Jessamay.
Is it a lot of horses happening with these two?
And it has me shook.
The electric horseman.
Yeah, he said both.
Was that Henry or Jane?
I'm going to... Jessamay, if you get it, it's a three-way tiebreaker.
No pressure, Mike.
No pressure.
I thought the electric horseman said...
Just him.
No.
No.
Shane.
Oh, yeah.
Once in a while.
This is what they don't teach you in school.
Sometimes you can ace the test
without knowing a single fucking answer.
Good point.
That's what multiple choices made for.
Did you say it?
Yeah, Jane.
Yeah, yeah.
I like that there's technicalities involved.
I just wanted to officially hear it.
You have to say it. Instead of bragging about winning. I just wanted to officially hear it. You have to say it.
Instead of bragging about winning,
I wanted him to actually do it.
That was a pretty big brag.
Pretty braggy.
Yeah, it's really strange that she was in three movies
in under 10 years that all had the word horse in it.
That's bizarre.
Yeah.
Henry's never had the word horse in any movie he's been in,
and he's in like 70 Westerns.
This is like I get this, like I get doing psychedelic shows,
I get a lot of free sensory deprivation visits and stuff like that,
and so then I'm like maybe I should lean a little more into that.
I think if you're in a movie about horses, and then you go like,
you know what, I want more free horseback riding lessons.
And that's why you sign up for more horse movies.
You don't think so? Yeah, and then she signed up for that movie
where she was married to a guy who lives on a ranch and has horses and
that didn't work out either. She left that guy.
What movie was that? The rich guy that owns CNN.
Ted Turner.
Yeah.
She just likes horses.
They lived on a ranch.
She retired from acting.
She rode around on a horse for a couple days and went, fuck this.
Yeah.
I'm going to go star in a Netflix series.
Yeah, that's all you need, a couple days of horses.
And you're like, all right, I'm good.
Okay.
So let's wrap this thing up here.
We got Shane's got three points. Mike's got two. Jessamay, you got one. You're still in all right, I'm good. Okay, so let's wrap this thing up here. We got Shane's got three points.
Mike's got two.
Jessamay, you got one.
You're still in this.
Am I?
Not really.
And who got that?
Shane got that last one.
So we'll start with Mike.
The motion picture is called Old Gringo.
Wish I could see that person's eyebrows from here.
Wish I could see that person's eyebrows from here.
I'm going to go my last guess.
Fucking both.
No. It's not it.
I didn't feel confident at all.
It's not Jessamay.
Josh.
The old gringo.
That's my ex's nickname.
Hey.
Okay.
I mean, it's got to be him, right?
I'm wrong, but I'm standing with it.
You going Henry?
I'm going fucking Henry.
It's not.
Shane.
Shane.
Shane.
The smartest man in the room.
Shane.
This is bullshit.
This is complete and utter bullshit.
Oh, man.
You're lucky we're both idiots.
If you're going to sit on a panel full of dunces,
speak for yourself.
This is definitely the spot you want to be in.
Let's see.
I'm going Jane, everybody.
Jane is correct.
Yeah, all in the head. Jane is correct.
Through skill alone.
Mike?
On Golden Pond.
Jane.
No. No.
That's the only movie they did together.
That was both.
That was so brutal.
Sorry, Josh.
That was some 4D chess shit, Doug.
Yeah.
That means Shane won that game!
God, I wanted you to go both again so bad.
Me too.
Yeah.
Oh, well.
We got one game left.
This is the one.
This is for all the marbles.
I always wanted all the marbles.
And all this other stuff.
I put a couple marbles in there,
but they get all the other stuff too.
Make sure you don't lose them.
And it's a game called Last Woman Stanton.
A game that is, it used to be,
it was a man or a woman, but now it's all women all the time.
Fuck.
Great.
No pressure.
Yeah.
Where is KMC Dawn 7?
Hi. You reached out to me on the old Instagram, and you said you had a suggestion of a name for this game for us today.
What do you got?
Reese Witherspoon.
So it's the films of Reese Witherspoon.
I'm going to play two.
Start with Shane.
Then we'll go to Mike.
Then me.
Then Jessamay.
We have to name movies that Reese has been in.
If you can't think of one, you're out.
But you guys each have one lifeline.
You can go to the person whose name tag you chose.
Great, Josh.
You can go to them once.
Josh is getting ready over there.
He's taking pen to paper. To try to figure out who Reese Witherspoon
is.
Shane, start us off.
Oh, boy.
So I just name a number that I think I can say?
No, I just say one.
No, just name any Reese Witherspoon movie.
You're the first, so anyone.
I like your game, sir.
There's bluffing involved.
There's...
Shut up. No, I can't use that because I'm an ethical person. There's I just
Shut up
No I can't use that because I'm an ethical person
No you can't
Someone say something
You can go to your lifeline like immediately
And then by the time it gets back to you
You might have more of an idea
Of like you know other titles to say
Okay okay lifeline
Yeah let's go to the lifeline
Give him a Reese Witherspoon give him a good one he's saying cruel i was trying to intention stuck
cruel stuck on that you guys had the same thought and you're both gonna go down together oh yeah
yeah because you took the only one he was thinking of but uh we'll see when it comes
around back to you you might maybe you'll do this maybe you'll
pull this off probably won't um let's go to mike i'm trying to legally blonde yeah right
thank you
um i will say i will go with one of my favorite reese witherspoon movies
it's called Election.
That's a good one.
It's a good one, right?
I'm going to be seasonal
and go with Four Christmases.
Oh, nice. It's a fun one.
Yeah. It's a good one.
Very good. Now do you got an idea, Shane,
who we're talking about? Not even close.
Because I
can't get the fucking show
on HBO that she's in
out of my head, and I can't see
past it to think of a movie.
So I'm going to drop this microphone.
Oh, that was
so sick. You almost dropped it.
You were supposed to be impressed, like the Mr. Rogers
thing. It was a callback.
I was like, alright.
Wait, so what's happening?
You're giving up?
I'm giving up.
He's tapping.
He's tapping.
But, you know, he got pretty far thanks to his lifeline.
We're back to you, Mike.
Into the wild?
Yeah.
Wait.
There's a thing? People want a correct title. Mike into the wild. Yeah. Wait. Oh, we got it.
We got the thing.
People want to,
people want a correct title.
Don't,
don't tell him.
Sorry.
That's okay.
In that's in,
in.
Okay.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Give us a different one.
Regroup on that other one.
Apparently that's not the right fucking title.
Yeah. Really? Yeah. It's tricky. Okay. Dude, on that other one. Apparently that's not the right fucking title. Yeah.
Really?
Yeah, it's tricky.
Okay.
Dude, you studied all week for this. I didn't study for anything.
That's fine.
That's fine.
That's fine.
That is pretty satisfying when you don't study and fail,
and the other guy who did study also does badly.
Do you know one?
Yeah, Josh is ready for you.
I'll take it.
He's going to Josh already.
Sweet Home Alabama.
Sweet Home Alabama.
He's going Sweet Home Alabama.
Thank you, Josh.
That's right.
What the fuck is the name of that movie?
Okay, I'm going to mention a movie that she stars in with Sofia Vergara, who always wants a Pepsi.
Give me a Pepsi. Hot P hot pursuit oh yeah yeah okay yeah um jessime i'm
gonna go with home again really it's a recent one yeah. John Runitsky was in it. Sure.
Yeah.
Okay.
Sleeper.
Yeah.
Not a lot of people saw it.
Yeah.
Back to you, Mike.
Comes around fast.
It really does.
Are we sure that's not what it was called?
I was really like... Oh, shit.
I was going to say as mine, the one that he couldn't get right, I fucked up and forgot
to do that.
I got excited to say, I want a Pepsi. I'm so... I'm really sure that he couldn't get right. I fucked up and forgot to do that. I got excited to say
I want a Pepsi.
I'm really sure that's what it was called. I saw
it and everything.
I'm pretty sure they made this and I don't know
what it was called and I don't know if there was more
of a title to it. So I'm sorry, Josh.
Cruel Intentions 2.
Wasn't there one? Yeah, but it was, you know,
they didn't get her to be in it
Are we sure there wasn't a flashback?
What?
Somebody saying something?
Okay
See comedy's hard
I really thought that guy
I thought he had real information
I didn't know he was
Going for an awesome joke.
I can't name a second one.
That's pathetic.
Oh, that is wild.
Is that just what it's called?
Yeah.
It's just wild.
Get the fuck out of here.
Jessime?
Don't you go?
I just did.
Wild.
Oh.
Ouch.
Burn.
I'm going to go elusive.
Deep cut.
Okay.
Not the movie.
I'm just saying going in deep.
Freeway.
This means war.
War.
What about Maybe I'll use my lifeline
Oh that's fun
She's here
Yeah Legally Blonde 2 does have a subtitle
Red white and blonde
She got it It's my girl. You're my girl, Blue. You're
my girl. Nice job. What's that? What was wrong with the freeway? There's too many fucking
people on it. There wasn't anything wrong with the movie Freeway.
We said it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We enjoyed it. Okay.
Kiefer's a weirdo in that.
Yeah.
It's a weird movie.
Oof.
Man and the Moon.
You fucker.
Sorry, I didn't mean to be violent.
It's a great movie.
So violent.
Her first, I think.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm. I meanhmm. Mm-hmm.
I mean, you're a tough competitor, Doug.
This is really your wheelhouse.
Does he?
It kind of sounded like she doesn't believe it.
Doug loves movies.
I guess he does.
Supposedly loves movies.
That's what we're all here for, I guess.
I don't know.
I'm almost tapped out, but I'm going to give one last valiant try
because I feel like I'm not going to be penalized for trying.
Go ahead and throw out a JFK or something.
I just feel because there were so many people in this movie
that maybe she was in it.
Yeah, exactly.
Valentine's Day.
No. There were so many people in this movie that maybe she was in it. Yeah, exactly. Go for it. Valentine's Day. No.
There were so many people in that fucking movie.
I know.
Remember that?
That wasn't a bad at all.
It was just a trot.
It wasn't bad.
Sorry.
I'll just throw one more on there because I like it.
Inherent Vice.
What was that?
It's a movie she's in with Joaquin Phoenix.
Joaquin Phoenix.
Paul Thomas Anderson.
I remember that.
He directed it based on a book by but guess what?
Jessamay is our winner!
She did it.
Where is Lisa?
Where is she at?
Hey Lisa, come on up and get all your prize bags.
I'm sorry that it's so much to carry,
but I tried to consolidate it the best I could.
Fun pants!
Fun pants, fun pants!
Those are great pants.
Is that okay to say that?
Yeah.
Great shoes, too.
Hey, lady, your pants are fun.
I'm calling HR.
All right.
Give it up for Lisa, everybody.
Yeah, Lisa.
She did it.
She's like, oh, now I don't have to do any Christmas shopping.
My family and friends will think these gifts are weird.
But why not?
Let's do some plugs.
Starting with our winner, Jessamay.
What do you got to plug?
Tonight.
Come back tonight, everybody.
I will be in Spokane at the, what is that comedy club?
Spokane Comedy Club.
Yep, I'll be there January 17th.
I have a podcast called The Sharp Tongue Podcast,
and I do Weeds Day every Wednesday on all social media platforms,
and we raise awareness and money for
Alzheimer's Association and Hilarity for Charity
Very nice
Very good
Shane Moss
what do you got?
Well first off I want to
Josh who comes here
all the time trying to win a prize
I wanted to give him just a little
piece of this microphone
that Shane Moss
crushed on today.
And you'd be like, which episode was that?
You know, the one that he crushed on.
And people will know immediately.
ShaneMossMAUSS.com
I mostly tour with my show
Stand Up Science, which I do about
two to three cities a week
I have a psychedelic version of that called Head Talks
which I'm doing in select cities
I have a documentary called Psychonautics
a comics exploration of psychedelics
on Amazon Prime
and my science podcast where I interview scientists each week
is called Here We Are
Thank you
I just found a pen one more time
and Mike Bentley what's going on with you buddy
Doug when will this be out
soonish day or two
I'll be in Hood Bar tomorrow night
and Palm Desert part of Up Comedy
shows follow them they're great
also there's a local podcast
called Savage Beer Garden
with all the local San Diego
comedians. It's great. And also,
follow me on Instagram,
MikeBentleyComedy. Just please follow me.
Please follow him.
For the love of God.
That's all I ask for, please.
Great first-time guest on
the show.
Jessi Make winning the contest.
Shane was also here.
Thank you to American Comedy Company and to Eddie
and you know where all my dates are, right?
They're at douglosmovies.com.
That's douglosmovies.com!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Come on!
All in!
Ted Danson?
Ted Danson.
You're a little early on the Ted Danson, dude.
I'm doing stand-up here, in this very room, on this very stage,
with probably this microphone and not Shane's.
Monday night, this Monday night, pre-taint.
Bring a name tag, though, if you want to try your hand at Last Woman Stanton.
And as always, positive energy!
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you,
cause Doug loves movies!