Doug Loves Movies - Morgan Spurlock, Jim Norton, Aya Cash and Tom Brady guest

Episode Date: May 31, 2016

Back at the Gramercy Theatre in NYC, Doug welcomes Morgan Spurlock, Jim Norton, Aya Cash and Tom Brady to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Not...ice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds With 50 azepam or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies! Hey, hey, hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies. I love someone threw in, and this is Doug Loves Movies. Really, really punched it up.
Starting point is 00:01:01 Coming to you once again from the Gramercy Theater in New York City. It's Monday, May 30th, Memorial Day 2016. So let me see some memoriable name tags. Yes, memoriable. Oh, Lord. It's true. You still can't see the balcony with the house lights up. I was talking to somebody about that earlier. Netflix. I like that. Your name's Natalie?
Starting point is 00:01:34 Okay, good job. What's this alien about? Oh, the movie Paul. And your name is Paul. Makes perfect sense. Is that a knitted Millennium Falcon? You're crazy. Katie the knitter is here, everybody.
Starting point is 00:01:51 That same Silence of the Lambs poster with my face and that fucking monarch butterfly on my mouth. I can't get enough of that. I wish that was in my home. And I might be throwing a donut at it later. Great job, you guys. Everybody that's got a name tag must not have had anything to do over the three-day weekend. And I appreciate everybody for being here at the end of a three-day weekend. You really got to power through to have energy for something like this. Doug plugs. Doug Loves Movies will be back here at the good old Gramercy on, see if this fits into your schedules, Sunday, August 7th.
Starting point is 00:02:35 Does that sound like a good date for everybody? And everyone here tonight, as soon as this show is over, can line up at the box office to buy tickets without a service charge. And this is a cool thing. Did you guys know that this show tonight is the 29th time that we've done Doug Lowe's movies at the Gramercy Theater? And so the next one's going to be number 30. So the Gramercy is graciously offered
Starting point is 00:03:07 to celebrate the 30th Doug Loves Movies in this venue. Everyone coming to the show is going to get a hard stock show poster and free popcorn. Popcorn. So get those tickets after, or, you know, tomorrow or the next day. I mean, this episode's not coming out until tomorrow, and I'm not going to say anything about it being on sale until you guys all get a first chance.
Starting point is 00:03:39 Bloomington, Indiana, see you this weekend at the Limestone Comedy Festival. Los Angeles, Douglas Movies returns to the Meltdown Comics this Sunday, June 5th at 420. And Atlanta, I will see you at the Punchline June 9th and 11th, DougLovesMovies.com. That's DougLovesMovies.com. Prize bag. I have a friend, director Dan Schechter, who I asked to be on the show tonight, and he's like, I don't want to be on the show, but I'll bring something for the prize bag.
Starting point is 00:04:08 So we've got, he brought some Big League Chew bubble gum. And this thing is crazy. It's like a... You guys are such nerds that you went so crazy for it's a giant box of nerds. Can you hear that shit? I don't know what the fuck is in there. I mean, there's
Starting point is 00:04:32 gotta have grape and seriously strawberry. Seriously, strawberry. So, those things are going in the bag. Along with stuff that I brought in an airplane. Doug Loves Movies shirt.
Starting point is 00:04:52 Oh, I got this since I got here. Last night I saw American Psycho the musical. And at one point, what's his name? The lead character, Patrick Bateman. He showers the crowd with money. one point, what's his name? The lead character, Patrick Bateman. He showers
Starting point is 00:05:07 the crowd with money. So some of that money. We're talking crisp $100 bills that say in big letters across them, prop, prop, stage prop. Yeah, so you're getting some of that shit.
Starting point is 00:05:24 Try to spend it. See what happens. Age prop. Yeah, so you're getting some of that shit. Try to spend it. See what happens. A sticker that says, Allah fucking Bama. Yeah, I get some random things out on the road and bring them to you guys. What do you call it? Some sort of power bar, snack bar from Quaker. No idea where I got that.
Starting point is 00:05:50 And from my personal VHS collection, an episode of the show called Gross Point. And yeah, underrated program, I thought. And a special from my days back at the WB Network, 17 Magazine, The Faces of Fall. Yeah. All of that, plus everything brought by my gifts, is going to be someone's here tonight. And all of my guests are returning favorites of mine. Judy Gould, no. No, please welcome Jim Norton, Aya Cash, Tom Brady, and Morgan Spurlock. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:07:13 People are just yelling out random things. I don't know what any of it means. We've all got catchphrases. We've all got things we're known for. But let's go down the list and meet everybody individually, starting with Aya Cash is here, everybody. Star of
Starting point is 00:07:35 FX networks. Is your mic working? I think, yes. Is that purse what you're giving to the prize bag? Or you're just that serious about your purse? Yes, it's filled with prizes and also natural deodorant and coconut water. That's mine. Okay. The way you're holding it just feels like that's your purse and that's where it's going to be for the entire show.
Starting point is 00:08:00 This is about all you're going to get from me the entire show. You look like Jackie holding JFK in the back of the limo. Thank you. I'm picturing a pillbox hat right now. So thank you for being here. When's the new season of You're the Worst going to start? Oh, my God. Everyone who watches the show is in this room and right on this side. Thank you for being here. When's the new season of You're the Worst going to start? Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:08:29 Everyone who watches the show is in this room and right on this side. Thank you. We made a section for them. We start again August 31st, season three. Nice. Do you know the night of the week and the time slot? Not a clue. 10?
Starting point is 00:08:46 10. Whatever August 31st is at 10. Yes. Yeah, okay. And, yeah, thanks for... Now you're also going back to L.A. to do that. Yes, I'm going back to shoot in L.A., but I live in New York. Yeah, you're a New Yorker. And I caught you on your last night here.
Starting point is 00:09:01 Yep, and I came out because it went so terribly last time. I figured I'd come back and hope for a better experience. I thought you on your last night here. Yep, and I came out because it went so terribly last time I figured I'd come back and hope for a better experience. I thought you won. Accidentally. Which is what I'm hoping for. I'm hoping to lose but be more interesting. That sounds like a great plan. Also joining us for, I believe it's his second time,
Starting point is 00:09:26 Tom Brady is here, everybody. Thank you. Thanks. I'm going to try not to laugh into the microphone this time. I got a tweet that was like, Tom Brady's laugh is a fucking nightmare. Too late. Thanks for having me back.
Starting point is 00:09:41 Yeah, sometimes I'll have a guest that doesn't really think of moving their microphone away when they're laughing, and then the complaints soon follow. And if I hear about it, I didn't hear about it in your case, but if I hear about it, I'll usually warn the person the next time.
Starting point is 00:09:57 I'll be like, get your shit together. What the fuck are you doing laughing into the microphone? Only do that when everybody's bombing. Only do it when we need it. But Tom, you were on the show in D.C. That's where they thought you were laughing too much. That's right. I really didn't hear that from anybody.
Starting point is 00:10:18 Okay, well good. And I certainly wasn't feeling it at the time. I thought you did a great job. And you, of course, are a comedian who works and lives here in New York now. That's right. But you are from Indiana. I'm from Bloomington, Indiana. Yeah, my mom calls it Bloomy's.
Starting point is 00:10:35 Bloomy's. We're going to both be there this weekend for the Limestone Comedy Festival. That's right. Going back. Yeah, it's going to be so much fun. I'm going to do a movie interruption of Rudy. Yeah. Right? That's going. Going back. Yeah, it's going to be so much fun. I'm going to do a movie interruption of Rudy. Yeah. Right? That's going to be weird.
Starting point is 00:10:50 Who doesn't like that movie? Everybody loves Rudy, so it's going to be strange. And the director of the movie is going to interrupt it with us as well. So that's coming up this weekend, and thank you for being here tonight, Tom. Thanks for having me. Morgan Spurlock, everybody. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:11:11 New dad one week ago. Yeah. So I appreciate you making the effort. It was, you know, I didn't really do much. But I'm excited to be here. And the wife is all right with it? The wife was excited to get me out of the house.
Starting point is 00:11:31 Okay, good. She was like, yes, you should leave. All right, well, that worked out great. But make sure you come back soon. Yeah. Your show Inside Man is going to be back on CNN. Comes back this Friday, Friday at 10 o'clock. 10 o'clock.
Starting point is 00:11:43 10 o'clock. Comes back this Friday, Friday at 10 o'clock. 10 o'clock. And you're just continuing to just go undercover and do shit that you probably wouldn't do if it wasn't cameras rolling on it? There was a fantastic review that was in like the Torontoist that says Morgan Spillak continues his longstanding career of filming him doing things and telling us about it. So that's coming back Friday. This whole episode is, I'm walking, I'm walking. Breathing.
Starting point is 00:12:13 I'm going to brush my teeth. Exactly. And do you have any other films lined up? Because I need something else to parody in my own. Yeah. I've got a film that I'm working on right now called Rats, which is... Oh, yeah, I heard about this. How can I get weed into a movie about rats? Maybe you make it about, like, bats, like the little things that, you know,
Starting point is 00:12:38 everybody hitting their bats. So you just make your own bats. Wow, that's a really specific drug reference, Mr. Spurlock. I've read about them. You really are Spurlock. I've read about them. You really are an inside man. I've read about them on the interwebs. So Rats is all about
Starting point is 00:12:52 how there's way too many rats in New York City? It's not just about New York, it's about rats all around the world. I grew up loving... French rats, like Rat Tattooie.
Starting point is 00:13:02 Rat Tattooie, the French ones. You know, there's Vietnamese rats, they're all over.. Ratatouille, the French ones. You know, there's Vietnamese rats. They're all over. But I grew up loving horror films, like Scanners. Scanners was the movie that made me want to make movies, and so I always wanted to make a horror documentary.
Starting point is 00:13:15 And so a friend of mine optioned the book by Robert Sullivan, the book Rats, and said, you should make this into a movie. And I said, we should make a horror documentary about rats. And so we're shooting it like a horror film. It feels like a horror film. It's going to be awesome. Yeah, because it's about rats. There's no scene where you're like, oh shit this is, nothing bad is going to happen here.
Starting point is 00:13:33 Nothing good is coming out of this. This is all great. And you're going to make them talk. And then they're going to talk. You're going to have Morgan Freeman do a narration. I'm going to have a Michael Jackson theme song at the end. So you will be the voice in it, or will you also be on camera in rats? I'm not on camera at all.
Starting point is 00:13:53 But there are going to be some people, though, right? There are humans. We've got to see a rat attack. There are humans. There are humans in the movie, but not me. Okay. All right. So, yeah, I don't know if I'm going to be able to figure out a way to make my own version of that,
Starting point is 00:14:07 so I might have to get creative and come up with a new idea for once in my life. Jim Norton is here also, everybody! Hey! Opie and Jim, weekday mornings on Sirius XM. Also, the Jim Norton Advice Show is also on those same places. Yes, I'm very easy.
Starting point is 00:14:37 If you want to hunt me down and kill me, you know where I'll be every day. Is that one of your fetishes? What's that? Being hunted down and killed. That's my goal eventually. I'm sure it'll happen. It's the ultimate fetish. Ultimate fetish?
Starting point is 00:14:51 I didn't know what you were saying. I like to star in snuff scenarios. Shoot me down with a water gun with piss in it. All right. I was looking at your IMDb page and I it's a quick read isn't it
Starting point is 00:15:08 you've done a lot of stuff but one of the things that popped out at me just because I'm curious if you were there if you noticed any of the turmoil was you have a part in the movie Cop Out and Bruce Willis and Kevin Smith
Starting point is 00:15:24 according to Kevin Smith, that collaboration didn't work out very well. Yeah, no, I didn't notice any of it. I had this scene with Tracy and with Bruce, and he was actually really, because Bruce and I lived in the same building, so he went out of his way to be nice to me when I told him that,
Starting point is 00:15:38 and I did tell him that just so he'd be nice to me, and it worked. I was like, hey, I see you in the elevator. He's like, oh, all right, and then he treated me good. Yeah. And he had them build something, because they were doing a thing where they were holding
Starting point is 00:15:49 a needle over my eye. So he had them build something so my foot didn't slip and I didn't get really stabbed. So he was really super nice to me. I didn't notice any of it. That's crazy. Because you've heard about it afterwards. Oh, yeah. Kevin said he was a nightmare.
Starting point is 00:16:00 Yeah. Yeah, it's so wild. I know you didn't ask for an inside the actor's studio fucking boring answer that I just gave you. You know, it's funny. At craft services, I chatted with Bruce. Shut up, Jim. Who the fuck? I mean, that's crazy.
Starting point is 00:16:14 You live in the same building. Like, isn't rent really high at the Nakatomi Plaza? He has since moved out of where I live. He got out of there. All right, that's cool. Here's a question I like to ask all of my guests in every episode of the show. We'll start down the other end with Morgan.
Starting point is 00:16:34 And it is, what was the last movie you saw? The last movie I saw was in my house, which was yesterday afternoon. I took the weekend. My older son is nine years old, so I took the weekend to show him Terminator 1 and 2. So Saturday we watched Terminator 1, Sunday we watched
Starting point is 00:16:55 Terminator 2. Yeah, when they're nine is when you have to turn them on to R-rated movies. Actually, PG-13 on Terminator 2 I think but the first one is definitely a R
Starting point is 00:17:09 I'd say I think it was still an R I think it was still an R they're both R you're right I just remember the lady being impaled on the refrigerator
Starting point is 00:17:17 we went to see the X-Men on Friday night and there's like there's a tremendous amount of like blood spew in that movie
Starting point is 00:17:23 of like as Wolverine goes through at one point not to ruin it for anybody who hasn't seen it, there's a moment where Wolverine kills a lot of people. Sorry. But there's so much blood in that movie. As I was watching it with him, I was like,
Starting point is 00:17:34 I think he's ready for Terminator. It was totally fine. You're a cool dad, man. There was this moment where Michael Bane and Sarah Connor are getting it on, the first Terminator in the hotel. And so they're there making out,
Starting point is 00:17:49 and in the middle of them getting busy, he looks over at me and goes... It sounds like your son's a born podcaster. That's right. Because nobody listening knows what you did. He's a mime. He kills it. He did He's a mime He kills it He kills it as a mime Yeah that's the thing
Starting point is 00:18:12 That's why I'm always so shocked by Like I've been seeing Deadpool on planes a lot And I love that movie So I'll just have it on at my seat or whatever And they leave in all the violence And all the language But they cut out everything that's sex scene stuff or nudity and it's not even that part of it
Starting point is 00:18:28 isn't really that graphic but they still cut that stuff out but leave in all that other stuff and it's just like little kids the nudity is the one thing they can be exposed to I think and it's not that big a deal because they will shrug it off like you know like well I don't even care about that. That sounds like a rationalization to a judge. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:49 Listen, I could have hit the kid, but all I did was show him my dick. But as I left the house to come here tonight, as my son was sitting in the floor building an Uzi out of Legos. True story. Totally fine. Totally
Starting point is 00:19:03 fine. Totally fine. Yeah, I don't know. And PG-13 also just blurs the lines because they do unbloody violence. So everybody's, you know, seriously getting the shit beat out of them, but there's no blood, so then they get the PG-13. Oh, is that the difference? Yeah, because the old ladies that they have
Starting point is 00:19:21 that decide the ratings, they just don't know. You can see blood, but you can't see them physically bleeding. Yeah. So you can see blood spatter, but you can't see somebody actually like kind of spewing blood out of a wound. Yeah. And that's, that's more realistic. And, you know, like, like Saving Private Ryan, it's not exploitative. It's, it's, it's real and, and intense. And like, I think kids should
Starting point is 00:19:42 be able to see that, you know, but probably around second grade probably about the good time to say kids welcome to Omaha Beach Tom what was the last movie you saw uh I saw Captain America Civil War yeah yeah I'm not allowed to see the movies your kids are allowed to see yet you're a cool dad man I respect that you're like the not allowed to see the movies your kids are allowed to see yet. You're a cool dad, man. I respect that. You're like the dad trying to win the divorce. But, we're eating pizza all weekend, kids. I'm going to have to see Captain America again because I saw it in those seats that are
Starting point is 00:20:25 right up against the screen. And then there was a kid the whole movie who was just not into it. And he was yelling out, like, that's not funny. Like, after every joke. I think he thought it was supposed to be a comedy. That's not funny. And then every time Ant-Man was on the screen,
Starting point is 00:20:42 he just went, Ant-Man. So it might have been the best way to see it. I don't know, but that's not funny. That's the voice in my head now any time a joke bombs. That's not funny. Did you have the 3D glasses on, too? No, no, no. That's good.
Starting point is 00:21:01 My head would have blown up, man. I'd feel really weird being irritated by another audience member while wearing those glasses. Oh, no. That's good. That would have been, I would have, my head would have blown up, man. I'd feel really weird being irritated by another audience member while wearing those glasses. Oh, yeah. You kind of just have to shut up and deal with it.
Starting point is 00:21:11 You're like, I look like an asshole and I have to have a movie ruined. Yeah, you turn around with those things on and you shut up. I already told this story a couple days ago,
Starting point is 00:21:20 but a little kid told me to shut up. When I shushed him in the movies, he said, you shut up. Didn't he say he called you a fat guy or something? Kids are so mean. It's hilarious. Alright.
Starting point is 00:21:36 Oh, so you liked it, though? I did like it, but I have to see it again. We were so close to the screen that we could only tell the characters apart if they were black or white. That's the only way. That's okay to say. I'm the one who determines that. It's okay.
Starting point is 00:21:50 I'm a weird race. So you always knew when two of the characters weren't there, the other eight was just a big whitewash? Yep, yep. Paul Bettany, Vision, you could probably recognize him because he was kind of purple. two of the characters weren't there, the other eight was just a big whitewash? Like, they were just like... Or Paul Bettany, Vision, you could probably recognize him because he was kind of purple. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if he was on screen with one of the black guys, I was like, it's anybody's game. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:22:16 I don't see color, man. Vision's the same as the others to me. So dumb. I don't know what I'm doing. Why did I do that? I figured if I said this stuff, no one would make fun of my laugh. Oddly racist.
Starting point is 00:22:35 Aya, what was the last movie you saw? Mine is one of the only shows where moving on gets a laugh. Good, because this won't. Tell us some great jokes about the last movie you saw. No, the joke is the last movie I saw, and it's going to get no whoops. I was on a plane, and I watched The Intern.
Starting point is 00:23:03 See, dead silence. Oh, really? No. No. No. There's somebody that loves everything. It's something for everybody. Wow. I don't even want that whoop. Yes, I saw The Intern on a plane. And I actually sobbed like a baby.
Starting point is 00:23:21 I think it's that plane thing where you go up in the air and all of a sudden your tear ducts open up. But I cried a lot. At the beginning of the movie, he's an older gentleman and he's getting dressed in a suit and tied to go to work with it. It's the digital age. It even sounds stupid while I'm
Starting point is 00:23:37 saying it. I'm so sorry. That's the last movie I saw. Yeah, I mean it's like it's a lot like the beginning of Up. It's very sad at the beginning because he's a lonely old man. Better movie. But then things get better
Starting point is 00:23:53 when he ties his balloons to his house or meets Anne Hathaway. Because when a hot young lady takes an interest in you and you're an old man, things are better. I mean, it doesn't get romantic, but she's still super nice to him. You've seen it. If I were him, I'd be happy to just sit around near her.
Starting point is 00:24:16 Jim, what about you? Do you like Anne Hathaway? I do. I don't know many of her movies. I hope she's not one of the guesses tonight. I didn't like the Pirates. What was the one she sang in? Les Mis.
Starting point is 00:24:31 Les Mis. Atrocious. The last movie I saw What was the one she sang in? I don't even remember. Yeah, Les Mis. There's no reason for you to like that. I thought she was a good Cat woman in Dark Knight Rises. Like, she's good at wearing the outfit.
Starting point is 00:24:49 Oh, yeah. She's good at, like, when she, like, you know, sticks a guy to the wall with her high heel, you know, on his neck. That was pretty awesome. Yeah, you're right. Yeah. But what was the last movie you saw?
Starting point is 00:25:01 I'm trying to remember the name of it. It was a bad... I like watching really bad horror movies. And we saw one about... It was a beaver, killer beavers. Zomb-beavers? Zomb-beaver. That's the last thing.
Starting point is 00:25:14 And that made The Intern look like Apocalypse Now. It was not a good film. But I found out my friend directed it. My buddy Jordan. And Bill Burr's in it. And I'm like watching it. And I'm like, oh, I can't trash this film. I auditioned for it. I'm not joking.
Starting point is 00:25:31 Did you really? I really did. Oh, my God. Yeah. And we had to enact in a little office room. I had to be like, the beaver is coming. And she would say what was happening, and I had to react. The beaver was crawling up, and in my hair...
Starting point is 00:25:48 You have to act scared? Yeah. That's like a gay horror movie. The beaver's coming! And they all hide. But I just imagine... You're surrounded by beavers, and she's like, am I in college? But I just imagine those are the auditions where they say, okay, could you scream again, only this time do it with your shirt off.
Starting point is 00:26:04 I like to think Bill Burr got that part. You know, it's funny. He was already famous, too. If he's just a good driver in the meeting, I think he gets killed. It was really funny to see him doing that, because he certainly doesn't need to like some of us do. That's funny, the audition for him. That's the last thing I saw.
Starting point is 00:26:20 Zombievers. Yeah. Jordan Rubin. Yep. Lady in the front row now is finally on the same page with us. I saw that. Did you like it?
Starting point is 00:26:33 Uh. Okay. Shut up. You just remembered that you saw it seconds ago and then I'm asking you for a critical analysis. It wasn't fair and I apologize.
Starting point is 00:26:49 The girl was no good, right? Okay, now you're talking too much again. Just because the listeners can't hear what she's saying, you know, and I can't repeat all that. Something about a stove. Morgan, what'd you bring for the prize bag, my friend? I brought a bag filled with prizes That inspired all the movies that Doug makes
Starting point is 00:27:14 So I brought a Fat Ronald action figure From Super Size Me, made by Ron English Whoa We should have gone to your prizes last, I'm thinking. I brought a limited edition collector's book from Comic-Con Episode 4 of Fans Hope. And then, of course, you can carry it all home in your Palm Wonderful Presents
Starting point is 00:27:38 the Greatest Movie Ever Sold bag. Yeah. That's very thoughtful. Very nice. Just pass it down here when you get a chance. I might want to hold on a couple of those items for myself. Can I hold this bag since I only brought a purse and I can put my gifts in his bag? Yeah, that's perfect.
Starting point is 00:28:03 Great. You want to hold it between us? We can just do this. Consolidate like people are doing in the airports when they realize they've brought too many bags. Wonderful. Thank you. Jim, what do you got for the bag? You can just throw it right in there. Thank you. Oh, here it is.
Starting point is 00:28:17 My gift really is weak. Good to get it out of the way. It's just a copy of a book that I wrote. I forgot I had to bring a gift. But the good part of this book is that it's not signed. And I did throw in, and this is a nice little thing for, the Gramercy Theatre All Access Pass from tonight,
Starting point is 00:28:38 which is really limited to the performers. And now you'll have one as a bookmark for yourself. Just a little something I can put in there. That's so sweet. Just a little something I can put in there. That's so sweet. Just a little something to make the evening memorable for you. And Morgan and I discussed the other stuff, so that's kind of like from us. Good job, you guys.
Starting point is 00:28:59 Great contribution. I was thinking for the group. I was thinking for the group. Okay, Aya, what do you got? Oh, fuck. This is such an uncomfortable, especially, I'm in a ladies' group. What can we do to help? Hold on. How about if I just held a microphone?
Starting point is 00:29:12 Well, there's a lot of shit. That's not for you. Not for you. Wait, there's a lot of things coming out of your purse. Okay, wait, wait. Alright, let's start with... I just brought a bunch of shit because I was really bad at this show last time
Starting point is 00:29:28 and I thought I'd bribe you with gifts. All right, so this is tequila. Wow. Oh, my God. Suddenly everything's all right. So, and the way I'm shilling shit with this is my co-star, Heather Donahue, got that for me from Mexico when she was working on a movie that never came out.
Starting point is 00:29:52 All right. And you're just not a tequila drinker? No, I'm not. I'm not. I like a bourbon if I'm going to go. Okay. This is my husband's movie, Prescription Thugs, that he wrote and co-directed.
Starting point is 00:30:07 It's all going to be like my much more talented friends and family coming out of here. This is my mother's book. I live vicariously. It is signed by her, and I'm developing it into a movie, so hopefully we can promote that next year if anyone wants to give me a million dollars. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:30:25 And it's called Little Beauties. you. It's called Little Beauties. Oh, it's called Little Beauties. Her name's Kim Adonizio. Alright, this is a cash box she gave me. I was just getting rid of shit. That has nothing to do with anything. It's an Aya cash box? Yes. But I don't need it. You got stuff inside, too.
Starting point is 00:30:41 I told you I'm not done. Okay, sorry. Excuse me. This is a comic by my friend Nicole Beckwith, who's an amazing filmmaker as well. See what I mean? I'm just doing this for everyone else. And this is a get out of sexism free card because I feel like we might need this tonight. And it's from a short film that I just finished called All Exchanges Final, directed by a lady. Okay, I think... Oh, fuck!
Starting point is 00:31:12 There's something else. Wow. Also... Jesus Christ. I'm going to not talk after this. These are shot glasses. No, I'm keeping one. Fuck!
Starting point is 00:31:24 This is a shot glasses. No, I'm keeping one. This is a shot glass. My mother also has her memoir coming out, Bukowski in a Sundress. I'm just on a TV show and don't do anything else in my downtime, so that's why I'm promoting other people. Okay, thank you. That's it.
Starting point is 00:31:39 Moving on. All that stuff. Those are all nice, but, I mean, a book. It really does. Yeah, a book and a small sticker that says All Access. I mean, you can't, volume can't necessarily beat that. But Tom brought some stuff.
Starting point is 00:31:57 I did. Man, I'm jealous of yours. Your family makes so much cool shit. Yeah. All I have is my stepdad wrote a book called Tom Brady's a Little Bitch, but, no. No, I brought, I brought Sour Patch Kids.
Starting point is 00:32:12 Good movie snack. Good movie snack. And then I brought a book that I just finished reading. It's called How to Be Good, and it's written by Nick Hornby who wrote my favorite book High Fidelity
Starting point is 00:32:28 and then it's signed by Nick Hornby as Tom Brady and then I also brought a DVD copy of Little Fockers and it is also signed by Little Fockers. And it is also signed by Little Fockers. I brought it because
Starting point is 00:32:47 they're making a new Fockers movie about the kids entering adulthood called Look Who's Focking Now. That's the first joke that's ever cost me $6. That's not funny That's all of it
Starting point is 00:33:14 Thank you for bringing that Pass it all down Someone's going to win all of this stuff Someone's going to have quite a yard sale on Saturday. Oh, thanks for bringing the whole thing over, Tom. Very good. Whoa.
Starting point is 00:33:33 Yeah, it is. I don't want to break the tequila bottle. Some fragile shit. There, we're good. All right. This is the part of the show where I say Let the games begin
Starting point is 00:33:48 People have made name tags It's your job to select one And my guests will go out Into the audience Or to the lip of the stage And just point at the one you like And have it pass forward to you Looks like a lot of great options This girl watches my show point at the one you like and have it pass forward to you. Looks like a lot of great options.
Starting point is 00:34:08 This girl watches my show. She's the one. And her boyfriend, friend, lover. Thank you. Pass it up. I'm going to periscope this session. So I'm sorry, but I wanted to choose you in solidarity. We don't have any commercials in this episode.
Starting point is 00:34:25 So I'm going to show everybody the beautiful Glamour Sea Theater. Okay. Oh, look at what Jimmy got. That is nice. Steph Mom! That is excellent. Uh-oh, people are moving up the aisle
Starting point is 00:34:44 to try to get noticed. I feel like somebody, who's got the best one in the back? A lot of cheaters running up front. It's a lot of signs. People are going crazy. How's it going, balcony? I'm going to go with the alien. I'm going with Paul.
Starting point is 00:35:05 I didn't see any donuts, man. All right, he's going with that. Stay close to your donuts next time, asshole. Throw those donuts. Try to hit right there somewhere. Just throw the whole box. Morgan. Good job.
Starting point is 00:35:22 Morgan, who are you playing for? I'm playing for Paul. Yeah, and it's alien like the movie Paul. And that's Paul. And his name is Paul. With his pipe. Yeah, great job. We talked to him earlier a little bit.
Starting point is 00:35:35 Tom is playing for Steph Mom. Yeah, dude. And I got to say, in this poster, whoever that is, is that Julia Roberts that my face is on? No, that's her. She's never been prettier. That's horrifying. But good job, Steph. What? Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:35:54 More people are throwing crap on stage. Who you got, Aya? I got Get Rich or Bri Tryon. Is that Brianna? What's your name? Brian. Oh, I thought I chose a girl. Really disappointed.
Starting point is 00:36:09 Yeah, no, you used her, like all men. Yeah. And you don't get a get out of sexism free card. You're in sexism jail right now, buddy. And Jim, Katie's always knitting her name tags,
Starting point is 00:36:26 and so he went for it because it's a Millennium Falcon. Oh, is that your name? I don't know who did it. It's very nice. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. How long did that one take you to make? Two weeks.
Starting point is 00:36:37 Two weeks? Yeah. And they might not even pick it. You just hold it up and then... She does such a good job. She usually gets picked. Wow. She made a BB-8.
Starting point is 00:36:48 She made a face hugger from Alien. She knitted it. It's crazy. Yeah, she's very good. Yeah. A BB-8's cool. All right, I got to say goodbye to my Periscope viewers. Like, we had 1,000 people watching just now.
Starting point is 00:37:03 Because this part's private what happens in the Douglas movies stays in Douglas movies yeah so you can put the name text down you don't have to worry about holding it the whole time and I don't want to damage it
Starting point is 00:37:19 and we'll start with a game that I like to call Doug Loves Musicals start with a game that I like to call Doug Loves Musicals. I love them. I see every musical on stage that I can. Then I have to sit through the shitty movies they make of them. Every once in a while there's a good
Starting point is 00:37:38 movie based on a musical, but I'm going to list off songs from a musical motion picture. Could be based on a stage musical, could be original, could be whatever, but it's a movie with songs in it. And as soon as you think you know what it is, go ahead and guess. There's no penalty for wrong guesses. And once we get to the last song,
Starting point is 00:38:01 everyone in this room will know what movie it is because they often have a song that's the title of the film. So listen for that. What movie musical panel only has
Starting point is 00:38:16 songs in it called The Clouds Will Soon Roll By? The Woodsman. Terrific guess. A song called Yes, Yes. The accused. I hope Jim has a gag answer for every one. The next song, It's the Girl.
Starting point is 00:38:48 Grease? No. Love is good for anything that ails you. Grease 2? Let's put out the lights and go to sleep is the name of a song in a movie. On Golden Pond.
Starting point is 00:39:12 It's got old people in it. That makes sense. Sure does. Grumpy or old man? Try to stick to movies that are musicals. That should narrow it down a little bit. Grease and Grease 2 were the best guesses so far. I Want to Be Bad is a song in this movie.
Starting point is 00:39:34 Let's Misbehave. Is there a thriller movie? What? Thriller? Is there a movie called Thriller? Never mind. There's no thriller movie, no. Let's Misbehave is in this movie.
Starting point is 00:39:43 Les Mis. It's not Les Misbehave is in this movie. Les Mis. It's not Les Misbehave. Let's Misbehave. Life is just a bowl of cherries. Life is just a bowl of cherries. You know the song. I don't actually know the musical, but I can sing the song. Yeah, it's a known song.
Starting point is 00:40:04 Don't take it serious. Life's too mysterious. I don't know how I know this musical, but I can sing the song? Yeah, it's a known song. Don't take it serious. Life's too mysterious. I don't know how I know this song, guys. It's like being channeled through me. It's a classic tune. I'll never have to dream again. Here's another one you might know, Aya. Did you ever see a dream walking?
Starting point is 00:40:25 Did you ever see a dream walking? Did you ever see a dream walking? Yeah. The theory of everything. And finally, pennies from heaven. Pennies from heaven. Aya won. She said it the fastest. See, that's a game where there's always a winner,
Starting point is 00:40:55 because I'm going to say it eventually. And then the person who says it the fastest wins. But all she's won is the opportunity to go first in the next game. We're going to play four games tonight. Thank you, Brian's girlfriend. We're going to play four games tonight. Oh, I picked that particular movie and those songs because I saw the Steve Martin musical, Bright Star, yesterday.
Starting point is 00:41:22 It's kind of struggling at the box office, but I thought it was a very charming show. I liked it. And then after intermission, I don't know how often he does it, but Steve Martin just popped out and played the banjo for a while. And it's totally a move to try to get people to come to the show.
Starting point is 00:41:38 Did not work for Sting, but maybe for Steve Martin people. I showed up because I read some letter that he wrote, like, begging people to come to it. And I wanted to see it anyway, but I really liked it. All right. Let's get back to Doug Lowe's movies
Starting point is 00:41:54 and play a game called ABCD's Nuts. This is a spelling game and a movie naming game. We'll start with Aya, and we're going to spell... I'll tell you what we're going to spell. Might as well just tell you. We're going to spell Mission Impossible because I'm doing an interruption of Mission Impossible 3 one week from tonight at CineFamily in Los Angeles.
Starting point is 00:42:25 Now, so Aya's first letter will be M, and the idea is she has to name any movie that begins with the letter M. If she succeeds in that mission, then we'll go to Tom, who has to name any movie that begins with the letter I. Morgan has to name S, so we spell Mission Impossible. And if you match what I've written down ahead of time, because I've chosen a movie for each letter, if you match me, you win automatically.
Starting point is 00:42:48 And it happens more than you'd think, for reasons you might figure out. So we'll start with you, Aya. Any movie that begins with the letter M. Can I just say, I got really excited because I know how to spell Mission Impossible. I was like, I got really excited because I know how to spell Mission Impossible. I was like, I got this. I went to college.
Starting point is 00:43:10 Madagascar? Yeah. That begins with M. I went with Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol. Oh! Oh! Next letter is I for Tom. I'm going to say I, robot.
Starting point is 00:43:26 Very close. I went with I, spy. Ah! I knew it. That movie where Eddie Murphy played the guy who puts drugs in women's drinks. He took over the Bill Cosby role, I meant to say. From the TV show. S for Morgan.
Starting point is 00:43:50 I'm going to go with the snake film. That is very fun. Very fun and clever choice. I went with safe house. Safe house. So the next S is for Jim. Can I go with supersize me? Yes.
Starting point is 00:44:11 On another day I might have to, but I went with spy game. Spy game. I is the next letter for Aya. Can I do I spy? I just said it a couple letters ago. You can try in case I got lazy or stupid. I was listening to everyone else and I forgot I could count ahead and start thinking about my letter. That's the trick to this game, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:44:29 A little bit. Again, I went to college. I, I, I... Ice Age. Ice Age. Yeah. I didn't write that down, of course. I wrote down,
Starting point is 00:44:44 If Looks Could Kill, starring Richard Grieco. It's hard to find iMovies that fit the... All right, N is the next... I'm sorry, O, O, sorry, O, O. Didn't mean to throw you off. I'm going to say, O Brother, Where Art Thou? O Brother, Where Art Thou. That's a good one. I went with Honor of Majesty Secret Service.
Starting point is 00:45:08 Morgan gets N. Never Say Never Again. Oh, such a great guest. Too bad there's a movie called North by Northwest. Back to you, Jimmy, for I movie. I Am Legend. Excellent. I just went with Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Starting point is 00:45:30 because I'm going to be in Bloomington, Indiana this coming weekend. The Limestone Fest. Emma Maya. I'm going to go with Married... That's not my name. Married to the Mob. I like that movie.
Starting point is 00:45:47 I also like a movie called Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Tom gets O. Oh, did I get a P? What? Yeah, you're right, P. I just, I didn't do it on purpose, but I also, now I'm going to in the future. Because I like the look on your face.
Starting point is 00:46:04 What letter am I? the look on your face. What letter am I? P. Sorry, P. I'll say Poseidon. Poseidon? Yeah, I know. I went with Patriot Games. Yeah. O for Morgan. I think it's going to happen right now. I'm going to go with
Starting point is 00:46:20 Octopussy. That's correct. My dude. S, Spy Kids 2, Island of Lost Dreams. The next S, Spy Hard. The next I, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. B was Burn After
Starting point is 00:46:43 Reading. L was Leonard Part 6. And the final E, Enemy of the State. Mostly movies that have spies in them. Good job, Morgan. You get to go first. You get to go first in our next thing.
Starting point is 00:47:02 And it's called Whose Tagline Is It Anyway? next thing, and it's called Whose Tagline Is It Anyway? I tell you what, in this next round, whenever somebody gets something right, they'll get to chuck a donut into the crowd. Provided by ABCD's Carlos. Oh, look at that. They even have filling that is red.
Starting point is 00:47:33 So cover your light-colored clothing, because these are going to be coming at you soon. For now, we're going to just hope that a rat runs out here and starts gnawing on one of them, and Morgan can whip out his phone and film it. All right, so we start with Morgan and then we'll come back the opposite way. We'll go to Tom and Aya and Jimmy. And whose tagline is it anyway? It's a game where I say a tagline from a movie. It's usually on the poster or at the end of the trailer or something. IMDB lists a couple for most
Starting point is 00:48:10 movies. So Morgan, you start us off. Just tell me what movie this is the tagline from. If you don't get it right, then we'll move over to Tom. He gets a shot at it. And the tagline is,
Starting point is 00:48:25 Go for the ultimate spin. Really descriptive. It's the ultimate spin. What's the ultimate spin? Go for it, man. I'm going to go with Fast and the Furious. Right? Seems like a good tagline for Fast and Furious.
Starting point is 00:48:51 Incorrect. Tom, what do you think it's from? Go for the ultimate spin. Drive? Another one that would be good. But it isn't. Aya, go for the ultimate spin.
Starting point is 00:49:10 Whip it? You know what I'm talking about. This might have been a better tagline for every movie we've said so far than the one that it actually is, but let's let Jim Norton take a crack at it. American Pie. It's actually, the motion picture's called Spider-Man, and Jim Norton is in it. What?
Starting point is 00:49:41 As Surly Truck Driver. Yes, I am. STD. STD. Did you... You have a couple lines? One line. Do you remember it?
Starting point is 00:49:59 Sure. I said, he stinks and I don't like him. You're like talking to a reporter or something? Yeah, it was a man on the street. I didn't even get to meet Sam Raimi. It was like a second unit shoot in Queens. Maybe not as improv stuff, but that's Spider-Man. And how do we know that you're a trucker?
Starting point is 00:50:17 You're saying it from the bed of your truck? Well, in my method, I'm... I saw boxes and I said, those need to be down here, and I was doing boxes. I did a couple of really filthy ones. I said something about I hate him. I did some jerk-off reference to the web being like,
Starting point is 00:50:35 come, and he's like, this is a kid's movie. I'm like, oh. He stinks, and I don't like him. Cut, and they left. Once again, another long, boring explanation for no reason whatsoever. Well, there's also no reason for you to know the tagline, you know,
Starting point is 00:50:52 to that movie. You know, you're not that invested in it. I heard you saying on the radio a few months back that when you first saw Deadpool ads everywhere, you thought it was just another Spider-Man movie. Yes, I did. I was incorrect. But that was not the original tagline for that Spider-Man
Starting point is 00:51:09 movie, which is why I didn't get it. Oh, what's the original one? Web is everywhere. Oh, what a tangled web he weaves. Well, another one I could have chosen, but it gives it away too much, is with great power comes great responsibility. It was another thing they call a tagline for that movie.
Starting point is 00:51:34 Jim still wouldn't have known. No, no, no, no. Well, it's just true, man. You know, like as a comedian, you're very good with hecklers and stuff, and it's a responsibility. It certainly is. Yeah. Absolutely. You be careful out there. Thank you, Doug. You know, like as a comedian, you're very good with hecklers and stuff, and it's a responsibility. It certainly is.
Starting point is 00:51:46 Yeah. Absolutely. You be careful out there. Thank you, Doug. Let's start with Morgan again. What movie has the tagline, Fast Food Kills? Drive-Thru. That's correct.
Starting point is 00:52:05 It's not Super Size Me. It's a movie that you act in about a killer fast food restaurant? Correct. It's the only reason I know that. That was really, the timing worked out terrible because if it had been, everybody else would have guessed something
Starting point is 00:52:26 and then Morgan would have slam dunked it because he remembers. Is the movie good? Should people watch it? I watched it. I'll leave it at that. Did you ever see Spider-Man all the way through? I mean, it's no Zombievers, but it's good. Yeah. Did you ever watch Spider-Man all the way through? I mean, it's no Zombievers, but it's good. Yeah. Did you ever watch Spider-Man all the way through?
Starting point is 00:52:48 I did, yeah. I don't really watch superhero movies. Like when they invited you to the premiere, you felt like you had to go. Yeah, you know, they said it's only one line, but we're saying like a linchpin of the film. No, I didn't. I saw it through.
Starting point is 00:53:02 I don't watch superhero movies, but I did like that one. I think it's one of the best. Yeah, it was good. But you should check out Deadpool. It's very entertaining. And, yeah. Like Civil War, I wouldn't recommend it to somebody that doesn't watch all that shit,
Starting point is 00:53:16 because there's way too much going on. It's too involved. The Captain America one? Yeah. Don't bother. Everyone else see it a bunch of times. Give Jim a pass. Alright, the next one,
Starting point is 00:53:31 starting with Aya this time. Your fan base is very excited. What movie has the tagline, you're only as strong as your next move? You're only as strong as your next move. Pawn Sacrifice? Very, yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:03 Yeah, your fan base says yes. I say no. Jim, what do you think it might be? You're only as strong as your next move. Is it night moves? You know what, I apologize. I owe Morgan a donut throw. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:22 Toss that donut, son. Woo! Can I have one? That guy threw it right in his mouth. I'm going deep. Oh, shit. Oh, man. Oh!
Starting point is 00:54:38 Did it hit the floor? That's totally fine. It's totally fine if it hit the floor. That was a really good throw, though. Okay, so my guess... My guess was... Wouldn't Jeopardy be fun if Alex Trebek got distracted by donut tossing? Forgot that you'd already guessed.
Starting point is 00:55:00 You said Night Moves was your first guess? Yeah, it was a chess movie. It was? Yeah, K-N-I. It wasn't N-I-A. Oh, K-N-I-G-H-T moves? Yeah, it was a chess movie. It was? Yeah, K-N-I. It wasn't N-I-A. Oh, K-N-I-G-H-T Moves. Yeah, I'm not a dick. The Dark Knight Moves.
Starting point is 00:55:17 Do you want to guess again? I do. Searching for Bobby Fischer. That's good run the table on chess movies yes I think I have all the chess movies ever made Morgan do you have a guess
Starting point is 00:55:32 not really at least you got to throw one how about all the right moves okay nope Tom How about all the right moves? Okay. Nope. Tom? I'm going to guess the Entourage movie.
Starting point is 00:55:52 Oh, yeah. That seems like an Ari slogan. Ari Gold would say that. Turtle! That is the catch tagline for a motion feature called Begin Again that features Aya Cash in a supporting role. Actually, it doesn't. What?
Starting point is 00:56:10 No, but when you sign a contract, sometimes they have to keep your name in it. They still put your name in the credits and you got cut out? Oh, yeah, and I get asked, I get told in interviews, you were so great in Begin Again, and I'm not in the movie. Begin Again, and I'm not in the movie. And yeah, and there was actually in my hometown newspaper, it was like Mark Ruffalo, Keira Knightley, Aya Cash, and my friends, my family, everyone was like, you've made it. I was secretary number two, but I'd already played that part, so I said, if you give me a name, I'll say that one line. And then-
Starting point is 00:56:43 They called you Jenny. They called me Jenny, and then they kept me out of the movie. Well, IMDb should say, you know, not really in parentheses, because they say uncredited all the time when somebody's in it, and they're not in the credits, so they should have the other way around.
Starting point is 00:56:57 I'm credited, so I still get residual. Yeah, that's... That's my trick, right? This guy's a residuals fan. People love residuals. So I don't even feel bad not getting that. They love knowing that somebody out there is getting a check for 35 cents. Well, great work in it.
Starting point is 00:57:17 Thank you. Do you remember your scene? What happens in your scene? I really like that movie. Part of it took place right here in the Gramercy Theater. The Gramercy Theater's in it more than you are. That's true. And they don't, I think they thank the Gramercy Theater in the end credits.
Starting point is 00:57:32 I was like a secretary who Mark Ruffalo comes in and says, like, I need to get in the office. And I was like, no, you can't go in there. I'm in a hurry. I'm about to change into another shape. Yeah. I don't know And I was like, no, you can't go in there. I'm in a hurry. I'm about to change into another shape. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:45 I don't know why I was cut out. It was deeply moving, my work. Yeah, no, that deserved an awe because that was a shitty joke.
Starting point is 00:57:57 So thank you for that. Yeah, that was better. All right, who went last that round? It was Morgan went last, right? So we start with Tom again. Tom, what would you do to get out of debt? And here's the next tagline.
Starting point is 00:58:15 What would you do to get out of debt? The big short? Seems like an obvious, like that's what it should be, but no. Aya? Jenny? Begin Again? I like your strategy. You should always just say the last answer over again.
Starting point is 00:58:43 Because I might try to trick everybody that way. Jimmy? Pretty woman. Morgan? I know it, but I'm not sure. Pretty woman. No. What's the film that's out right now? Money Monster.
Starting point is 00:59:07 Oh, yeah. That's a... No. Can I guess again, even though I'm not going to win? Yeah. Is it a decent proposal? Uh-uh. All right.
Starting point is 00:59:17 No, it's a movie you're in called Zack and Mary Make a Porno. Oh. There's just so many movies where a character is in debt at the beginning. Like, that's what their problem is, is that they're out of money. Yeah, but that was not the original tag, Doug. That wasn't fair to hit me with that one. Oh, what was the original tag of that one?
Starting point is 00:59:38 At my eye. You played Auditioner in that one. Yes, I've been playing that my entire career. Finally, something that you can really get inside. All right, so one more round, and then we'll move on to the game that's going to really matter and determine who goes home with all this stuff. And who knows, maybe another donut is about to be thrown.
Starting point is 01:00:11 Yeah, starting with Tom again. The Thunder Buddies are back. Oh! Shh. Shh. Shh. And I'm not naming that snake movie. I'm actually saying, shh. The Thunder Buddies are back.
Starting point is 01:00:33 Uh-huh. Hey, shut up. Hey, man. Ginless list. I'm sorry. Schindler's List. I gotta fill everybody in. There's three people on this stage, and the only ones that don't know why everyone just cheered for Schindler's List.
Starting point is 01:00:57 Oh, I know. The last show... It is pretty wide in here, but no. It's, um... When Judy Gold was just on the show, It is pretty wide in here, but no. When Judy Gold was just on the show, she never knew the answer to anything, so she said Singler's List every time. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:17 That's the only Judy Gold could do. So, yeah, you're out. Do you have anything, Aya? It all comes down to knowing who the Thunder Buddies are. Thunder Cats? Are go. That's real? No.
Starting point is 01:01:34 Jimmy? Brokeback Mountain. And he was sitting over there making the I know it gesture from the start. I thought you really knew one. No. And Morgan? I feel like this is an Alex Gibney movie. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:02:00 I'm lost. I have no clue. It's just an expression used in both of the films. This was a sequel, and it was called Ted 2. Ted 2. And the reason I put it in this list is because I had movies from all you guys, and I didn't want to leave Tom out. Tom Brady is in Ted 2. That's why I said entourage earlier.
Starting point is 01:02:19 I thought, damn it. God damn it. Tom, for that, you can throw a donut if you'd like. Hell yeah. That's all I've ever wanted. Who wants one? Oh, shit. Oh, no.
Starting point is 01:02:37 That one is nobody's donut. I can't believe a guy as dapper as that gentleman is picking up that. Are you going to eat it? He shrugs. Eat it. Eat it. Eat it. Eat it.
Starting point is 01:02:54 Eat it. Eat it. Yeah. This is the coolest peer pressure ever. I love this. Now I just want to throw one straight on the floor. Yeah. I'm kicking it.
Starting point is 01:03:06 Because it's a new game. Who's going to eat it? Yes. Or I'm going to throw one on my dick. Oh, man. Do we need that card again? Yeah, where's that card? Oh, it's in the bag.
Starting point is 01:03:20 You don't have it anymore. She doesn't have a get out of sexism free card, but you know. Talking about it's a lot different than doing it. I want to hit the signs of the lamb sign. Can you put that up for me? Yeah! It's so stupid.
Starting point is 01:03:51 It's so weird how satisfying that is. Why is it so good? I love nothing better than throwing donuts at my own face. It's a symbol of my disinterest in donuts. And Aya and Jimmy, feel free to, if at any point you want to throw one, you're welcome to. Oh, I don't know, Doug.
Starting point is 01:04:10 I don't feel worthy. Do you want to throw one? I haven't won anything. I don't feel... Do you want to do it together? Yeah. Do it. Oh, I don't know.
Starting point is 01:04:21 Oh. You can pick a target, or you can just try to get it up into the balcony. Whatever you want to do. There's a fat guy yelling, Jim, I have to throw it to him. All right, mister, here you go. Oh, good catch. Nice catch.
Starting point is 01:04:43 Oh. Oh. Oh, good catch. Nice catch. Oh. Wow, the guy that next to the guy, you're right near the guy that ate the ground one. Yeah, good job. Good job, you guys. Dear Gramercy Theater, may I have another Tito's and Soda at your earliest convenience?
Starting point is 01:05:02 No rush. Is anybody else, are you all good on beverages? Can I get another Tito's and soda? Sure. Awesome. Yeah. Can I just have a bottle of water? Yeah, there you go.
Starting point is 01:05:12 Thank you. Or seltzer if they don't have that. That's fine. We're just regular. Seltzer water. Who am I? Just up for my throat. Gutter water.
Starting point is 01:05:18 Whatever kind of water. If we were somewhere else, I'd say tap water, but the tap water in New York is probably the cleanest thing in the city yeah but don't use tap water ice in my drink thank you only bottled ice cubes we're going to play to determine who gets everything in the prize bag We're going to play, to determine who gets everything in the prize bag,
Starting point is 01:05:48 we're going to play a game called Last Man Stanton. I've pre-chosen a lucky audience member, and lots of you wrote to me on this subject, and they will get to name an actor or actress, and I like to play along in this game, so I'll join in as well. Here come the beverages. Thank you so much. Thank you very much. There's Tom gets the other Tito's. Thank you, mister. I like, they're really smart, too, here. They, like, you know, they knocked my size down
Starting point is 01:06:22 a notch. G gave me a smaller drink we don't need him to get drunk up there let's keep him professional I don't know how much I drank before I got here though they got really good alcohol down the street at Live Bait they got a sardine liqueur
Starting point is 01:06:42 anyway so we'll get a name of an actor or actress. We take turns naming movies that person was in. I believe Morgan was the only person who got a correct answer in that last game. So we'll start with Morgan, and then we'll go to me, Jimmy, I, and Tom. We'll go in that order, round and round. If you can't think of one, you're out. But you do get one extra round potentially because you get a lifeline. If at some point you can't think of an answer,
Starting point is 01:07:10 the person whose name tag you chose is your lifeline. And they have to try to help you out. And they generally have help from everyone sitting around them. Good. I hope your name is Google. It's usually a pretty good lifeline if you don't go to it too late. And the person who submitted, said that he's got a great name for Last Man Stun is at BobbyPeru720. You're here? Oh, there he is. Good old Bobby Peru.
Starting point is 01:07:45 That's your actual name? no? Willem Dafoe character from let me say it nobody else say it fuck it's I know it I know it hang on hang on Sailor Ripley is also a character
Starting point is 01:08:01 in the film Nicolas Cage and Laura Dern and it's just say it Sailor Ripley is also a character in the film. Nicolas Cage and Laura Dern. And it's... Platoon. Just say it. Platoon. It's Platoon. What's it called?
Starting point is 01:08:10 Wild at Heart. Wild at Heart. Yeah. By the great David Lynch. And that's a great character to name yourself after because there's hardly a creepier person in any movie ever. Even by David Lynch's standards, Willem Dafoe really went for it
Starting point is 01:08:25 so what do you do not Bobby Peru you work in television newscast director like New York One you're from Massachusetts they have news there all the news happened in New York.
Starting point is 01:08:46 But that's cool. So how'd you transport to here? You took a bus? And you know I just did a show in Boston two days ago. It was a scheduling thing? Oh, you're on the other end of Massachusetts. Okay. Well, thanks for being here.
Starting point is 01:09:04 I'm glad since you came so far that I chose your name. You seemed confident on Twitter. So tell us what actor or actress, it could be a director, but usually actor or actress, that we're going to do tonight. Who? Tim Robbins. Is he big out in Massachusetts? What?
Starting point is 01:09:28 Did you just name a movie after suggesting an actor for us to take turns naming their movies? Alright, so I hope nobody had Mystic River because it's out. So funny. Because it's out. So funny.
Starting point is 01:09:50 I think you should do Tim Robbins because Mystic River's about my life. I always eat at Mystic River Pizza. All right, so is everybody confident? You feel good? Maybe? Morgan, start us off. Give us a Tim Robbins. Bob Roberts.
Starting point is 01:10:15 Oh, that was the one I was going to say. Bob Roberts is correct. So I will go with The Sure Thing. Roberts is correct. So I will go with The Sure Thing. Yeah, he and his wife pick up John Cusack and drive and sing songs and annoy them. I thought I'd go on an obscure one right out of the gate. Jim, any movie with Tim Robbins in it?
Starting point is 01:10:41 Shawshank Redemption. Of course. Is this game going to get harder for you because that's the only prison movie he's done? I don't have a lot on him. You don't? No. You might have to go to your lifeline, but we'll see what happens. Aya?
Starting point is 01:11:02 Life of Crime. Oh, sneaky. Our friend Dan, who's in the audience, directed that. I enjoy it very much. Is it still on Netflix, Dan? Nope. Nope. You're welcome for the plug.
Starting point is 01:11:25 Because now people have to actually buy it. Do you get a taste if they buy it? Whoa. Somebody, like, cracked a bottle instead of... All right, Aya, what do you got? Oh, you did what? I said Life of Crime, and then you called Dan. Okay, go ahead, Aya. Just name a movie.
Starting point is 01:11:52 Tom? Mystic River. Can I say that? I don't have to. I think I said that one's out. Oh, okay. I got another one. I got another one. Nothing to Lose. Okay.
Starting point is 01:12:05 With Martin Lawrence. What's that? Martin Lawrence was in that? Yes, that's right. You're correct. Throw a donut. You earned it. Turns out they both lost a little bit of their movie star luster with that one.
Starting point is 01:12:21 Okay, now Morgan. I'm going to go with the player. Oh, so many people in that. You could just say it and be right most of the time. Cradle will rock. I kept one in the bank. Oh, good. Jacob's Ladder.
Starting point is 01:12:51 Yes! Now I'm out. Yeah, good call, good call. We're back to Aya. Brian. You're going to your lifeline? Yes, I am. All right, Brian, what do you got?
Starting point is 01:13:09 Arlington Road. Thank you, Brian. Interesting. He's not an easy one. He's not easy, but we'll see how we do. War of the Worlds. That's right. You guys like that movie?
Starting point is 01:13:33 You're just that excited that he got a right answer? What a... Oh, that was the one your lifeline had. You blew it. Okay, she says she's got another one. Back to Morgan again. The Hudsucker Proxy. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 01:13:56 I just thought of a good one. Howard the Duck. duck. Jim, would you like a recap? Jacob's Ladder. No, I'm going to have to use my lifeline. Okay, we'll go to your lifeline. Where's his lifeline at? Who's doing that job tonight? Katie, of course.
Starting point is 01:14:21 IQ. IQ. That's the movie where Walter Matthau plays Albert Einstein right and Meg Ryan is Albert Einstein's cute friend
Starting point is 01:14:32 yep that's the plot of IQ how many how many times do I get to go to her that was it shit but you know it's interesting looking at his career, all these titles.
Starting point is 01:14:47 He's not like a big sequel guy because usually the game is a little easier when somebody is in sequels because then, you know, you just – if somebody says Ocean's Eleven, you know, you can pile on with 12 and 13. All right. Where are we at? Whose turn is it? My turn. And I thought I was out, but then I remembered. There you go.
Starting point is 01:15:05 Thanks to the book that you brought, High Fidelity. Oh, yes. Yes. I got a tricky one, so can I say it? And then, shut up. Man, Doug sounds weird tonight. I got a tricky one, so can I say it and then... Shut up. Man, Doug sounds weird tonight. If I were you, if you've got one you're not absolutely sure about...
Starting point is 01:15:34 I'll say this about it. You used it in a way that I'm going to use it, like I think last week. Oh, I see where you're going for. Do you have the lifeline still? I do. So should I use the lifeline first? Go ahead and use it. I will use the lifeline. All right. What you have the lifeline still? I do. So should I use the lifeline first? Go ahead and use it. I will use the lifeline.
Starting point is 01:15:46 All right. What you got for me, girl? Toy soldiers. Toy soldiers. Toy soldiers. We're going with it. Yeah. I don't remember him being in that.
Starting point is 01:15:54 Well, you... I don't remember it that well, though. All right. So no, don't... We're not done yet, you guys, so don't say anything. Morgan? Bull Durham. Bull Durham.
Starting point is 01:16:06 Some of the most obvious ones you just totally blank on. I'm going to have to, I might have to tap. Let me think for a second. Shh. I don't have a lifeline. But thanks for your concern. Oh, you guys,
Starting point is 01:16:24 new rule. The audience is my lifeline. The entire audience. No, no, no, don't, don't, don't. Yeah, Mystic Rivers. Now I get like knee-jerk mad at people for yelling out things and then it turns out they're just yelling out something we already said
Starting point is 01:16:42 or making an Amy Adams joke. Oh, man. We knocked out so many of the smaller ones. But I'm going to have to try. Yeah. No, I'm going to give up. Yeah. I'm out.
Starting point is 01:16:58 I'm out. I know there's some good ones left. I got one. I just know it. Jimmy's got one. A tango for Hank. Fuck you. I want to see that movie.
Starting point is 01:17:14 Okay, Aya. What's tango for Hank about? Everybody in... Sounds like somebody's in debt And Somebody else wants tango lessons It's a true story Of a guy Everyone in the town was really good at tangoing
Starting point is 01:17:39 And he always This is like they flip Footloose on its ear Everyone tangos Except for this one guy It's like they flip Footloose on its ear Everyone tangos Except for this one guy It's illegal to not tango Yeah And he learns to tango And it's where
Starting point is 01:17:52 Him and Susan Sarandon met She played the The woman who Taught tango locally Taught tango locally Alright so Jimmy's out. But good job.
Starting point is 01:18:11 Do you have another one, Aya? Even cowgirls get the blues because it's by Tim Robbins and maybe they made a movie of it with Tom Robbins. Wait, what? You mean it's written by Tom Robbins? Right?
Starting point is 01:18:30 And we're talking about Tim Robbins, so he might have been in it? I really should have gotten drunk so I could pretend this was just me drunk. Continue. Moving on. Anchorman, the legend of Ron Burgundy. What do you say to that, Morgan? Have you used your lifeline yet? I have not, so I'm going to go.
Starting point is 01:18:51 Oh, shit. I'm going to Paul for my lifeline. The Lucky Ones. The Lucky Ones. What's that? What's The Lucky Ones? Who's the lucky ones? Who else is in it? You don't know?
Starting point is 01:19:09 Did you, when you knew you were a lifeline, did you like look at your device or something? Oh, he says he didn't. But he's right. Okay. Don't know anything about the movie, but you know Tim Robbins is in it. All right.
Starting point is 01:19:23 That's correct. He did do that. That's in it. All right. That's correct. He did do that. That's super fishy. All right, so then we have to go to Tom to see if he's got another one. I think I've got to go with Team America World Police. That's the one he was worried about because one could argue that Tim Robbins isn't in it, but there is a puppet that's called Tim Robbins. And so I say...
Starting point is 01:19:47 The audience has spoken. I say it counts. But... But Morgan could give us another one. Could it be a movie he directed, or he has to act in the movie? He could direct it. Dead Man Walking.
Starting point is 01:20:08 Yeah. I wish I'd have thought of that. I was thinking of the other movies that he did with Jack Black, but not that one. Yeah, Jack Black plays John Penn's brother. Doesn't do a funny thing at all. In what movie? Dead Man Walking? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:20:26 Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, isn't that crazy? Yeah. Yeah, it's Jack Black. But he's all sad because his brother's on death row. So he doesn't come in and be all like,
Starting point is 01:20:34 oh, let's put some awesome sauce on it. You know what? I cannot, for the life of me, even though they look perfectly fine and people say good things about them, I cannot, for the life of me, even though they look perfectly fine and people say good things about them, I cannot watch a Kung Fu Panda movie.
Starting point is 01:20:50 I can't do it. I just lose interest real fast every time I try. Dumpling. What? Dumpling? I don't know what that means. So where are we at? Morgan, what?
Starting point is 01:21:06 What did you say? Oh, he did get it. The directing thing. He's probably directed something else we're forgetting too. Don't say. But Tom, do you have anything else? That's why I gave you World Police because I figured Morgan was still going to win.
Starting point is 01:21:20 That was the last one. I'm going to say Monsters, Inc. I don't think he's in that. No. Oh, God. Darn. Morgan was still going to win. I'm going to say Monsters, Inc. I don't think he's in that. Oh, God. I'm sorry. I meant to say Harry's Last Tango or whatever. Tango for Hank.
Starting point is 01:21:39 Tango for Hank. Get it right. All right. That means that Morgan Spurlock is our winner tonight. Uh-oh, donut throw. Paul, where's your... Where you at? You're Paul?
Starting point is 01:22:06 Oh, that's right. You said lucky ones. For the win. All right, be very careful with the tequila in there. Oh, they have a bunch of lollipops? I'm good on the lollipop. Oh, here, I'll throw it. Right in somebody's eye. Oh, it's edible? I'll keep it. I thought it was an inedible one. But yeah, you can give Paul back to Paul
Starting point is 01:22:34 because he probably wants to hang on to that. I'm supposed to keep the pipe? All right. Oh, you're so kind. Oh, my God. Look at you. Pulled that right off. The nug didn't fall out of the bowl. Look at that.
Starting point is 01:22:50 That's a pretty cool pipe. All right. So what's your name, Paul? No, I mean, like, do you have a Twitter handle? Walnuts169? Why? Hey, Paulie. Yay, Paulie.
Starting point is 01:23:14 Yeah, are you related to Joey Walnuts? He has 80,000 followers. Walnuts169. All right, we'll start with you there, Morgan, and give us your plugs. Give you my plugs. Inside Man premieres on CNN this Friday at 10 o'clock. Please check it out. It's fourth season.
Starting point is 01:23:37 Thank you, guys. And congrats, Paul. Thanks for having me as always, Doug. Thank you for being here. People are always like, is Morgan Spurlock mad at you that you make your movies just making fun of his movies? And I'm like, no, he's totally down with it.
Starting point is 01:23:53 Just makes us both stronger. Tom, what do you got coming up? Besides Limestone Comedy Festival this weekend? I want to say I'll be co-headlining shows with Jeff Tate at Limestone this weekend. So come to those. That's the main thing. I'll also be at the Chicago Comedy Exposition in July.
Starting point is 01:24:11 And then I run a monthly show at the Looking Glass Lounge. The next one's July 1st. So come to that. Oh, and I have a podcast called Girls Night with Tom Brady. Oh, yeah. Oh, and I have a podcast called Girls Night with Tom Brady. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. There's no way you listen to it. Yeah, well, some people, like, they make their loudest cheers during, you know, the quieter moments because they got to get heard.
Starting point is 01:24:39 Somebody tweeted me today that they're upset that the Dunkin' Donuts next door to the Gramercy was closed. Your whole donut plan got thwarted. I'm not going to put that on top of the Millennium Falcon. These are a disgusting batch of donuts that I'll throw before this is over. Ayakash starring in You're the Worst on FX, which returns on August 31st in a time slot that's probably 10-ish, 10 o'clock. Thank you.
Starting point is 01:25:12 You just did my plugs. It's a spicy show. Anything else you want to mention? I have some indie movies that may never come out. Keep an eye out. Keep an eye out for those movies. And Jim Norton. I have the second half of my Mouthful of Shame tour.
Starting point is 01:25:32 You can go to JimNorton.com. I'm doing a bunch of markets I've never hit before. Real buzz about it. People are talking up? People are excited? They've been coming out. I wouldn't go that far, but they've been coming out, so I'm happy, and it's going really well,
Starting point is 01:25:50 and I'm going to film it at the end of July, early August. And that you do here on the East Coast? I think so, yeah. We haven't booked the venue for filming it yet. All right. What do we do with the Millennium Falcon and stuff? Do we give that back? She'll get it back, yeah,
Starting point is 01:26:03 because that's too nice of an item for me to steal. But throw it. Why? It's so nice. It's really insane. Well, your shithead's attached to it, and I might forget it if I don't have it to look at. So after I say the shitheads, I'll throw the Millennium Falcon into the crowd. How heavy is it?
Starting point is 01:26:25 It's not too bad, but I don't want to hurt anybody. I'm sure I have some sort of plug I wanted to say here at the end. Oh, yeah. I'm going to be in Minneapolis Saturday, June 18th doing Doug Loves Movies.
Starting point is 01:26:39 All right. Well, I guess I'll see you there. You'll definitely be able to get in because it's at the Women's Club of Minneapolis. Yeah. And terrific venue. We've done a few shows there, and they let men in, including myself.
Starting point is 01:26:53 And thank you guys for coming. Happy Memorial Day. One more time for Morgan Spurlock, Tom Brady, Aya Cash, and Jim Norton. Brady, Aya Cash, and Jim Norton. Here, let's all throw another donut. Here's what I like to call the Simpsons donut. Who wants a Simpsons donut?
Starting point is 01:27:14 The girl in the green. Yeah, green girl. Here you go. Yeah, put it right in there. Jimmy, throw another one. They're messier ones than the last one, so be ready for that, everybody. Since I didn't win you anything, I will give you a donut.
Starting point is 01:27:29 All right. I love how Dunkin' Donuts boxes are too light to hold the fucking donuts that they put in it. The donuts are too heavy for the container. That's so funny. Ah, yeah. Ah, yeah. Ah, yeah. Ah, yeah. Underhand it. Oh! that's so funny uh yeah uh yeah
Starting point is 01:27:45 underhand it oh were you trying to get it to your people alright I'm gonna just pass these down to Aya's people there you go congratulations you guys and as always Congratulations, you guys.
Starting point is 01:28:06 And as always, Arnold Palmer's are a shithead. And it even says, fuck that shit. Like, they don't know how that works. But if you want your name tag back, there it is. Today, May 30th, the humidity was a shithead and finally people who cut their nails
Starting point is 01:28:35 on the subway are a shithead now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie, eyes of gold his viewing prowess makes him cocky There's no room in his heart for you Cause Doug loves movies

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