Doug Loves Movies - Neal Brennan, Retta, Sean Cullen, and Lorenza Izzo Guest
Episode Date: September 9, 2014Doug welcomes Neal Brennan, Retta, Sean Cullen, and Lorenza Izzo to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-...sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seats with 50-ass-a-pop or turtles in his feet.
There's still not one that he won't see, but Doug Loves Movies!
Hey everybody, my name's Doug and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies.
Did I hear like somebody blowing a pitch pipe?
To try to get everybody...
Let's do it one more time. Blow that pitch pipe again.
That was terrible.
Los Angeles, what am I going to do with you?
It's been a bumpy road here at the UCB Theater.
This early 7 o'clock time slot has made it difficult for the guests
and for audience members to get here in time
and having to stand around out in the L.A. sun
for over an hour or so to get in here.
Even though anybody who, for the listeners, anybody who showed up at 658 could be sitting right here.
Could be sitting, there's like, you know, there's not a ton of seats, but there's a few great seats.
You didn't have to wait in line because that's the number one reason you didn't come.
Because I don't want to wait in line for something I might not get into.
Is the mantra of Los Angeles.
Compared to everywhere else in the goddamn universe.
Where something that's free to get into.
People will fucking show up.
There's only a 100 seat theater we have to fill.
I sell more tickets when we do this in another venue on another day and time. i i swear sometimes i think it's just uh tuesdays at seven o'clock
it's just a bitch for people but uh here's the real test uh let's let's see your name tags los
angeles we got uh maybe about a dozen possibly out of out of about 100 people.
I think I brought enough.
Right now, I'm going to give a GatewayDuck2
force fund to everybody
who brought a name tag.
Yay!
Thank you.
The listeners right now are getting
nervous.
Just silence while this happens.
There you go.
There you go.
I love this.
Thanks, guys.
I apologize.
There's a couple more name tags than the number
of CDs I brought.
We're coming to you, of course, from the UCB Theater
in Los Angeles
on Tuesday, September 9th, 2014,
Wolf of Wall Street, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Temple of Dubes, Days of Thunder,
Bold and Lightfoot, Fistway.
Yeah.
Denver, Colorado, next Monday, September 15th,
I'm doing stand-up at Comedy Works,
and, of course, September 15th, I'm doing stand-up at Comedy Works.
And, of course, there will be games or game at the end of the show, so bring your name tags.
And Jordan's back in Los Angeles.
He's got his baseball.
He tweeted me and said, you know, as long as people aren't bringing name tags, can the baseball come back into effect?
I said yes.
My guests are probably not listening right now,
so let's see if Jordan gets picked.
From the corrections department, advertising division,
some of you heard me say Walter Parks was in Tusk, and of course I meant to say Michael Parks,
who is in fact an actor who I admire,
and it's been fixed, but I
apologize for the trauma anyone
who heard me say Walter
had to go through.
I mean, at least you're not turning into
a walrus.
Hashtag walrus, yes.
And we bleeped the second
shithead on the Vegas show
because that particular audience
member thought it would be fun to make
me mention the venue that we had
had a lot of problems with in Vegas,
including potential lawsuits.
So I didn't want to
mention again.
I've moved on from that incident.
The Plaza Theater at the Plaza
Hotel was a lovely venue.
Totally air-conditioned.
And maybe I'll play there again sometime.
The guests backstage are so loud,
it's like there's so much more excitement
going on backstage than out here,
so I'm just going to introduce them
and hope that they're paying some sort of attention
and will actually come out here.
Please give a big, warm welcome
to returning winner Lorenza Izzo
along with Neil Brennan, Sean Cullen, and Retta. Go ahead and pick up your microphones
because you'll be using those.
So I guess Sean spoke off mic, but Neil spoke into the mic,
so I'll give you guys a tie in the Pete Holmes game,
which is the who speaks first on the show.
I thought it was a fake laugh thing.
You laugh at your own jokes super hard.
I'll give you an award for that as well.
Thank you all for being here.
There's lots of great stuff in the prize bag,
including a Douglas Movies T-shirt.
Yeah, you heard right.
And then we'll find out what everybody else brought for the bag
as we go down the row.
Let's start with ladies first.
Lorenza Izzo's back, you guys.
Yes.
Hola. Lorenza Izzo está de vuelta, chicos. Un ganador de alguna manera de la semana pasada.
No sé ni en qué idioma hablas.
Eli estaba aquà con vosotros la semana pasada Eli was here with you last week to help you in the game
but today you're going to be on your own
but we're also going to play an easier game than last week
who said I was going to be on my own?
I'm telling you, you're going to be on your own
oh, is Eli here?
maybe
there's a lady in the audience that said maybe.
Okay, so
you come in and
stand behind her and whisper in her
ear during the game portion of the show.
But she's on her own for the
chat portion of the show.
And what did you bring for the
prize bag? I'll be mailing
it. Oh, really? Yeah. Okay.
We'll get information. It'll be special.
What'll it be? Like a DVD?
Yeah. Yeah. Of my Spanish movies.
What? Really? Yeah.
I want to do a Quipanatuala one.
With English subtitles? Yeah. Oh, okay.
They have it, right? I hope so.
I want to check out all your movies. They're in Netflix.
I'm excited. Alright. I'll do it.
I know Netflix.
But also here today, please give a big warm welcome to Mr. Neil Brennan, everybody.
I know I said ladies first earlier.
Red is definitely a lady.
Fucking it all up.
Neil, what did you bring for the bag?
I brought the award-winning documentary series 30 for 30 on DVD.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, volumes one and two.
These are big and heavy
and also critically acclaimed.
I have yet to see a 30 on 30
because I'm not really a sports guy.
But I watch...
You don't have to be.
That's what they tell me.
They're human stories.
They're little movies of human stories.
Yes.
Of endurance. And, like, does. They're little movies of human stories. Of endurance.
Like, does any...
There's one called The Two Escobars.
That's one of the best
movies you'll ever see.
It's fucking amazing. And who are the two Escobars?
Calvim? Pablo Escobar,
the famous drug dealer that we all know.
Oh my god.
Just another one.
Another Escobar.
Who's like an athlete?
Or is ESPN just branching out?
They found a guy in East LA
last name Escobar.
But they got him at a really interesting
time in his life.
No, he's a soccer player for the Mexican
national soccer team.
It's an unbelievable movie.
That's just one out of the 30
that you're going to receive.
Well, thank you for bringing that.
My pleasure.
Some of the people bring stuff that they're proud of
from their own work.
And so we bring ourselves to...
Sean Cullen is here, everybody.
I'm not here.
Speaking of...
Now, this man was just on the award-winning program
Comics Unleashed, taped here in Los Angeles.
He came down from Canada to do it,
and they gave him a T-shirt and a mug,
and he's so proud of this show and his work on it
that he was like, I want to pass this along.
I want to pay it forward.
And someone tonight is going to get a Comics Unleashed with
Byron Allen mug.
Tremendous. And a shirt.
It's tremendous. Yeah.
It's tremendous.
Can I just say, it was
stuffed into the cup.
The shirt. Yeah. What was weird
was Byron Allen rammed into that
cup and said, now put it on.
I don't know why he was so
bitchy with me.
I don't get it.
I can't get in that cup.
I can't get in that cup
and move around enough
to get into the shirt.
Is he crazy?
There it is.
Thank you for bringing it.
Kelvim Escobar is another great Escobar.
Who's that now?
Kelvim.
Kelvim?
Speaking of bringing it.
Kelvim?
A person who brings it every time.
Kelvim Escobar.
Whether it's on Parks and Recreation or in her role in Sex Ed.
Yoo-hoo!
Yeah.
Co-starry with Lorenza.
Retta is here, you guys.
Yeah.
Yes.
No last name necessary.
You did that a long time ago, too.
That's ballsy early in your career
to be like, I'm just going to go one name
and see if it works out.
Before I moved here.
Yeah.
That's because my full name is Marietta
Sirleaf and I was doing an open mic in Raleigh, North
Carolina and the guy was like, who's up next? I was like, Marietta
Sirleaf. And he was like, what? And I was like, ugh,
just Retta. And that's how I became Retta.
Bam. Yeah.
Legends are born that way.
Cher was the same deal. It was a shitty
MC.
Cherim Escobar. In North MC. Cherim Escobar.
In North Carolina.
Cherim Escobar.
Now, you brought a giant bag of stuff, Retta.
I did.
I got a lot of shit at my house.
I brought snacks.
That's so nice.
Oreos of both persuasions.
I know those exist.
Lots of snacks.
Golden Oreos.
What does that mean?
It's just their vanilla candy.
And then here's a little walking robot.
Pencil sharpener.
That's amazing.
iPhone case.
Jesus. iPhone 5? Is it an iPhone 5? That's amazing The iPhone case Jesus
iPhone 5?
Is it an iPhone 5?
That one I don't know
That might be 5
That might be
Yeah it's unbelievable
Netflix sent me that
That's from
Orange is the New Black
Orange is the New Black
That's a good one
Wow
It's a very hot show Doug
Incredibly
Incredibly popular
There's a ton of stuff in here
It's a Parks 100 episode
Long sleep tea It says 100 episodes on the back City of Pawnee shirt you guys Joe Duck. Incredibly, incredibly popular. There's tons of stuff in here. It's a Parks 100 episode long sleep tee.
It says 100 episodes on the back.
City of Pawnee shirt,
you guys.
More phone cases.
There's another one in there.
This is a two pack.
Do you want to switch up
halfway through your call?
It's a two pack phone case? Yeah. It's a two-pack phone case?
Yeah.
It's a very hard-edged phone case.
This is you and Aziz, and it says, treat yourself.
It's a treat yourself phone case.
Some Nutella.
Fuck it.
Treat cozy.
Cozy, cozy. What's inside this little American? It's House of Cards candy. House of Cards? fuck it drink cozy cozy cozy
what's inside
this little American
it's house of cards
candy
house of cards
there's four packs
in there
and they say shit
like I hate fire
and dumb shit
like that
you brought
the smallest
lava lamp
I've ever seen
I got that at
Rashida's birthday party
what
you got it where
Rashida's last
birthday party
Rashida Jones
yes
was giving these to everybody?
There's lots of toys on the table and you can just take whatever you want.
And I get very fascinated. So there's that.
But the light drives me crazy in my closet.
It's just never ending, this bag of stuff.
And that's an orange is the new black.
What is it called?
You put it in your computer?
Yeah, you put it in your computer.
A USB key?
Yeah.
USB key.
Key drive?
But it's a screwdriver if you put it together.
Oh, my God.
That's so amazing.
Oh, and a Parks and Rec mug.
Oh, that's worth it.
It says, a game is the foot on it.
So, yeah. So, it's a pretty amazing prize bag.
Oh, also, I brought from, I think it's from a company called Botanicals,
a fun pipe that I only used a few times.
It's got a little resin in it.
And then, oh, there they are, Botanicals.
And then some Pops hot dogs, of course.
And then also from High Logic Clothing, a beautiful T-shirt that says,
a blue shirt with kush and big pink letters on it.
So this is quite a, you're going to have a lot of explaining to do
if someone arrests you while you have all this stuff.
Pretty amazing prize bag.
So that's another reason why
LA listeners should come out
and make your name change.
You could quickly disguise your phone, though.
You could change the look of your phone
immediately and hide
in plain sight.
I'm just trying to get all this shit in the bag.
So much stuff.
So, Retta, you're in Sex Ed with our friend Lorenza,
and also Haley Joel Osment is in it,
and he plays like a rather aged virgin.
Yes.
You're a bartender at his local hang,
and every time you speak to him
it's just the wisdom
does not stop flowing.
How aged is he at this point?
70? For reals or in the movie?
For realsies. For realsies he must be
27? He's 26.
26 and in the movie he's a 23 year old
virgin and
Retta just schools him
but isn't it amazing how
23-year-old virgins just can't,
they just can't follow advice.
Even from the sassiest
of black ladies, he cannot
apply your wisdom
to his life. Well, I didn't
employ any of this,
so that probably would have...
Yeah, you only went, only the
eyes rolled, No neck roll.
But you rolled your eyes at him a lot
because he's a fucked up character, that kid.
Did you call him Honey?
Honey Child? Probably.
Darling, doll, baby. Yeah, all of it.
Sweetie. Yeah, she's the bartender
everybody wishes they had. All the terms of endearment.
Yeah, she knows your drink and makes it for you as soon as
you walk in and then says, what's your fucking problem?
And it's called Sex Ed
and it's out on November 7th
on demand,
I believe.
And in selected theaters.
Some amazing theaters.
How does a theater get selected?
It's quite a process.
I think it's a long process
of color selection.
Is there a vetting process?
Yeah. You know where they found Pablo
Escobar?
One of the selected theaters.
He was watching a movie
that had only shown in selected theaters.
I think there was actually a soccer player, an Escobar
soccer player. Oh my god, kicked him in the balls
until he was dead.
I don't know.
I stopped paying attention for like a small window.
Don't worry.
And when I came to, I was in the middle of the video.
We were hoping you'd fill it in.
And I couldn't help it.
I just heard Escobar, just like you going, Escobar.
I'd like to push the Escobar on this one.
Escobar.
I don't know if that was a good idea.
For a radio show?
I've been too long on Comics Unleashed, I think.
I'm expecting people to set me up for things.
And they're not happening.
But isn't it true, though, that you like cats? Yeah, because we got Comics Unleashed. Here's a funny thing happened to me, for things. And they're not happening. But isn't it true, though, that you like cats?
Yeah, because we get
comments on leaves.
Here's a funny thing
that happened to me, Byron.
A cat crawled into my mouth
and died in it.
Well, that's interesting.
I hear you like skiing.
I turned to no one on that one.
Have you done this show before?
I haven't.
You did it, though?
I've done it.
I did it once.
I didn't know the set up.
The premise.
They were too small
and I didn't understand
what he was saying
and I was like
what the fuck
are you talking about?
I was really worried.
So Reda
you like Sebastian Bane?
And I was like
so I was in my car
I don't know
I was in my car
driving
Oh driving okay.
Because I did not understand.
We all have to drive sometimes.
Let's talk about it. This is my favorite part of the show when he says Drive it okay. We all have to drive sometimes.
Let's talk about it.
This is my favorite part of the show.
When he says,
applause, applause.
To get people applauding.
They cut that part out of the show.
Oh my God, it's so disconcerting.
Well, you're talking and you finish. You're really looking for return booking here.
It doesn't quite land.
I could say it was alright. But something doesn't quite land. I could say it was alright, but it didn't quite.
Something doesn't quite land.
There was a robot and it had a human eye.
Nothing.
And you were going, applause, applause
everybody, applause.
Okay.
Next.
I hear your leg is running.
We're going to edit the shit out of this show
from now on.
Do they still have a shark tank on the set?
Yeah, a little baby shark.
Did you get to meet the shark?
I was in the tank.
Applause.
Applause.
Applause.
Applause.
Lorenza, have you been to the movies since we saw you last Tuesday?
No, I have not, but I have seen a very good movie.
What?
Diva.
Who?
What's that?
Jean-Jacques Beniet.
Oh, okay.
Did I say it right?
Maybe.
Are you speaking English still?
Well, he also did Betty Blue, French film director.
Okay.
Very good.
Who's in that?
Diva is like a, is that a new movie?
No, really old, from the 80s, I want to say.
That's a long time ago. that's a long time ago
I think I wasn't even born
yet
I wasn't selected
yet to be born
I was selected to be at that select theater
I wasn't yet
gone through that process of selection
it's rigorous
do you recommend it?
yes I do
it's very good
is there like a Do you recommend it? Yes, I do. It's very good.
Yeah, I kept picturing,
is there like a blue lady in it?
Yeah, it's based on a novel.
It's very interesting.
It's about this opera singer and this postman that falls in love with her
and he keeps following her around
and they have this love story
and at the same time,
there's these classic characters
of French policemen and detectives
and I could talk for hours about it, but it's very, very beautiful.
I think I'll bore people.
I don't know.
But that's a strong recommendation.
People can check it out if they want to.
It is really good.
It's a very kind of dark.
I don't think it's very well known at all.
And when it came out, the critics destroyed it.
And I think it's so worth seeing.
It's really good.
If you're ever bored and want to check out a good dark movie.
It's like Ishtar.
It's like Escobar.
Just Escobar. The hilarious
comedy about the death of Pablo
Escobar.
Neil, have you been to the movies?
Last movie I saw was Boyhood.
Oh, how is it?
Sorry.
It takes you like eight years to watch it.
It's a really long movie.
And I gotta say, not enough story for the kid.
I'm the kid.
Right.
No, that's why I haven't seen it.
Because I'm afraid of that.
And people are like, no, it's so moving.
And it's such a rewarding experience.
No, yeah.
I'm glad I saw it.
And they're like, it's like watching a child grow up.
Yeah.
And I'm like, no.
I've kind of seen that in my own way.
I've watched people grow up
and it's not that exciting.
The best part of it was Ethan Hawke.
Really? Who says that about anything?
I know.
He plays the child through the whole movie.
He never grows up?
He looks old when he starts.
What about you, Sean?
You saw something on the plane, I bet, coming here.
Yeah.
What was that?
Well, I did see a movie, but I shouldn't talk about it, should I?
Why not?
Well, I saw, what did I watch?
I watched Maleficent.
Oh, okay.
That's why you don't want to talk about it. But I went to, you know, I have toficent. Oh, okay. That's why I didn't want to watch.
You don't want to talk about it.
He's doing the Benson movie interruption
of Maleficent tomorrow night
at Cinefamily.
It will be a treat to have him.
But, you know,
I wish I would have said to you,
you don't have to watch it before...
I didn't plan to.
And you just sort of watched it.
It's not cheating, really.
I've seen it.
But a lot of my panelists usually haven't seen the movie,
and that's always fun, too.
But you liked it, though.
I did.
And every time someone asks me what movie to see,
I say Guardians of the Galaxy.
It's one of my favorite movies I've ever seen.
You seemed pretty excited about it when I saw you earlier.
It's always held onaldana has been blue.
She's been green.
She has been sad.
She has been pale brown.
She has been darker brown.
She has gone all the way through
a realm of colors
and each one more provocative
than the last. I find her
incredibly sexy.
Colorful. Especially when
she's green.
That's where I think she's best.
I don't know what it is about her, but I like her
I like her hues.
What is pale brown?
That's a beige, but it's not
she has a beigeness to her
in some films. I would say
in Star Trek,
she was sick during Star Trek.
She had stomach poisoning.
Stomach poisoning, not food poisoning.
Someone had taken
a long syringe
and poisoned her stomach.
It was horrific
that someone would do that.
But it worked for the film.
Didn't it?
Tremendous. She looked pained
throughout.
But yeah, I love that.
Who would have thought, Dave?
You like her. What's your
order of sexy?
What Zoes are you
attracted to? Well, I think green first.
Blue, she
had a tail that you had to plug into.
I don't have a tail.
I don't have a tail and I think it would be
unrewarding. I think for both
of us.
So I'm going to put that last.
But I was going to go with
green.
Then, I don't know.
Stomach sick?
Stomach poisoned?
Do one of the browns.
The browns?
How about, um...
So you don't seem racist.
A sienna.
Go with the darker.
How about a sienna?
Go with one of the darker browns.
And then a beautiful chestnut.
Anywhere in there.
I'd say green, Chestnut, Sienna,
Stomach Poisoned. I think she really stretched
when she went from playing
Sienna Miller
to Morris Chestnut.
Oh my God,
she is so gifted.
Reda, have you been
to the movies lately?
Yeah, the last movie
that I saw was
Guardians at the premiere.
Oh, so good.
Oh, the premiere.
He's done very well
for himself.
That Pratt, Pratt, Pratt is pretty awesome.
Holy cow.
He is.
Skyrocketing.
What?
Skyrocketing to fame.
Yeah.
Ooh, child.
Him dancing to the crazy.
That was a brilliant moment
where you're just like,
why does this not happen
in Clint Eastwood movies?
Where he's about to get
shot in the face and he's like,
uh, stop.
In the name of love. Come on.
Don't shoot me. You. That
was a brilliant moment. I'm stealing
your time. There's a lot of good moments
in that one, yeah. Oh my god. And Brennan
has a lot of good moments. It was not fast.
It went over his head. It went over his head.
What I said just went
over his head. No, it would not go over my head.
My reflexes are very fast, and I would catch it.
That is a brilliant, brilliant lie.
Renna, what's that music video that you're in
that I see from time to time
where you're talking on a psychiatrist's couch?
It's a dude from Fun, right?
I want to get better.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What's his name?
Antonov. Jack. Jack Antonov.
What's his band called? Beechers?
Bleachers.
Bleachers, yeah.
I want to get better song has a lot of people
interesting actors being on a
shrinks couch and you say things
throughout the video. How'd that
happen?
Lena Dunham is his girlfriend,
and she's a friend,
and so she emailed me and said,
can you do this video?
And I didn't realize that Jack had a new band.
Right.
And so I thought,
oh, this is some top secret fun shit.
I was telling my friends,
I'm gonna be in a fun video.
I'm gonna be in a fun video.
I wasn't in a fun video.
I'm sure it was still fun to do.
It was fun.
And it was one day.
I think we did everything in one day, which was a lot for as well that it turned out.
But it was fun.
I got to hang out.
It wasn't bleachers?
It was fun.
I'm not sure.
Is it the band that's called Bleachers?
Because Jack was the only one
that was there
yeah I mean
he's the front man of it
probably
but it's like his side project
but they still sometimes
don't just put their name on it
they give it a
got it
grander name
cap it up
is it Bleachers
that's in there
bleaching things
or is it
sitting in the Bleachers
I would imagine
but I don't know
yeah I'm just guessing I don't know. Yeah, I'm just guessing.
He probably came up with a name while he was watching Grease.
They were singing about their summer.
He was like, that's a perfect name for a band.
The Bleachers.
Or maybe when he was watching National Lampoon's Animal House
and Bluto was looking up the girl's skirt on the bleachers.
Maybe that's when he thought of it.
It's time for me to say
let the games begin!
What I need you guys to do
we're running kind of late so if you can
do it quickly that would be awesome
is just go out into the audience and select
the name tag you would like
to play for. There are some pretty good ones that I can see.
And just go walk over to them and grab the one you want to play for
and then bring it back to your seat.
And while you do that, we'll do this.
We'll be right back after these messages.
All right, we're back.
Who are you playing for, Lorenza?
Look at this.
I'm playing for Alyssa Stormtrooper.
It's a little bobby hat.
Look.
It's been made of boys.
It says, this is the name tag you're looking for on the front of it.
That's a pretty creative one.
I want to get a good shot of it here.
I'm trying to start my vine up.
It's like the most awesomest one.
It's like it was selected.
Like it's selected. Yeah. The chosen like the most awesomest one. It's like it was selected. Like it's selected.
Yeah. The chosen one. You definitely got the best one.
Your technique right now, Doug, is amazing.
Thank you. Your technique
is terrible.
Alright, Neil, who do you think?
Tell us your name.
Demi.
I guess. That's your name, right?
Demi. Demi. Alright, that's weird. I guess. That's your name, right? Demi.
Demi.
All right.
And that's instead of...
I was way off.
That's like you changed the poster, her, to Demi?
I mean, it's a picture...
I mean, why does her even need to get involved?
It's like a picture of you and your name,
and there's no real parody of her at all.
Who are you playing for, Sean?
I'm playing for Rianna Conda.
Starring Jon Voight, Jennifer Lopez, Ice Cube, and Eric Stoltz.
And Retta, who's this you're playing for?
This looks like a very stylish thing
yeah
why
it says my Danish name
don't say that
oh my god it's a long one too
if you lose today
at the end of the show I'll call somebody a shithead
on their behalf and that's what that is
it's a very long
it's a long winded shithead.
Everybody should have a shithead on the back
of their thing
there.
To determine who goes first today
in our games,
we're going to do
a little something called Doing Lines with Mark!
Mark!
So Mark Wahlberg has generously donated his time
I'm charging for this shit
Look at his bracelet
You should probably mention that to me
because I don't
I can't think of any
How you guys doing? You doing good or what?
I missed him last week.
Hey, Retta.
Maybe you can call a dude back sometimes?
It's my bad.
I just want to go for a ride.
Why can't we just go for a fucking ride?
Up to Solvang?
We'll look at windmills?
Wow, I had no idea.
I just want to get to know you. Who cares, right? Wow, I had no idea.
I just want to get to know you.
Who cares, right?
Oh, my God.
I didn't know that he was stalked,
that you were being stalked by Mark Wahlberg.
I reached out.
It's not called fucking stalking.
It's called reaching out.
All right, Mark.
Let's do some lines.
You want to do a line?
Yeah, sure.
All right, here we go, guys.
So Mark's going to say a line from a movie, hopefully
a classic one, hopefully something that people
recognize. Is it a Mark Wahlberg movie?
It doesn't have to be a Mark Wahlberg movie. It's a silent movie.
Oh, no.
Mark, it's got to have words.
It's a podcast. People listen to it.
First lips.
But whatever you want.
Whatever you want.
Alright, so Mark Wahlberg The first lips. But whatever you want. Whatever you want. All right. Whatever.
All right.
So Mark Wahlberg.
Oh, my God.
Is going to do a line from a silent movie?
No, it's got words on it. Okay.
All right.
They call those listeners.
So just say it as soon as you know it, you guys.
Are you ready?
Yeah, here we go.
All right.
Look good. Feel good. Here we go. it, you guys. Are you ready? Yeah, here we go. All right. Look good, feel good.
Here we go.
Wait, that wasn't part of it?
That's just part of life, bro.
Look good, feel good, Retta.
Here we go.
Everybody here calls me psycho.
And you guys call me Francis, and I'll kill you.
Neil?
Stripes.
It is stripes.
That's correct.
So we're supposed to go as quickly as we can.
I get it.
Thank you, Mark.
All right.
See you around the bank, Mark.
So we were supposed to jump in and say that as quickly as we could.
Yeah, yeah.
No, you're a very polite panel.
I did not know what we were doing.
Was I right to say I know it?
No, that was what you should have done.
Well, no, you could have just yelled it out.
I could have just yelled it out. You could just say stripes.
Stripes!
You can't just bark.
It's got to be the actual word.
Stripes! Yeah, there you go.
The S that makes it
separates us from the dogs.
Yeah, the dogs just think everything is one thing.
They don't have plurals.
They don't have plural.
Plural.
Yeah, they don't have plural.
All that last game, man, is that Neil gets to go first.
Oh, that's fun. In this game. gets to go first. Oh, that's fun.
In this game.
The one that matters.
The one that's serious.
We're going to play, to determine our winner today,
a round of Last Man Stanton.
No applause.
Where is Byron Allen when you need him?
So, yeah.
So, I guess there's no reason to be excited about which game we're playing.
But we're going to start with you, Neil.
And here's how this game works.
We're going to get an actor, actress, or director from an audience member is going to suggest one.
And then we're going to take turns.
I'm going to play along because I like to play.
And we're going to take turns naming movies that that person was involved in.
And when you can't think of one, you're out.
And you only get to think about it
for two and a half minutes.
I meant seconds.
Yeah.
We'd like to try to move it along.
We've got about nine minutes left in the show.
Apologies to put your
hands together.
Because I don't think this is going to happen.
Who here tonight in the audience
thinks they traveled the furthest distance
to be at this taping?
Hand raised. I like it.
Sydney. Where?
From Sydney? Australia?
No, it's probably Sydney, Arizona.
So all the way from Sydney, and you
didn't come here specifically for this.
You did a bunch of things while you were here.
What else did you see?
The Taj Mahal?
Road tripping from Seattle.
You did what? You road tripped from Seattle?
So you saw the whole coast? You went to Burning Man?
Oh, aren't you a
bad decision maker? You burned. So you saw the whole coast. You went to Burning Man. Oh, aren't you a...
Did he burn?
Decision maker.
He burned.
How'd you fit in there?
Was it good?
It's weird.
It's weird, right?
Yeah, I wish you'd asked me first.
All right, so what's your name from Sydney?
It'd be weird if your name was Sydney.
Sydney from Josh. I'd be weird if your name was Sydney. Sydney from Josh.
I would like you to just name someone who has a large body of work.
Do you listen to Doug Lowe's movies regularly?
Okay, so you've heard the kinds of people we do.
Who's one when you're sitting at home in Sydney,
you're like, oh, I wish they would do, you know,
why aren't they doing Hugh Jackman or whatever?
I'm sure that's what you think there.
How can you think about anybody else?
What about John Lithgow?
John Lithgow, I love it.
That's a great one.
Is that how they say it in Australia?
John Lithgow.
Let's get Eli Roth in here
because Lorenza is having a stroke over there because
I bet you
she can't name one.
Can you name one John Lithgow movie?
You don't
tell her any yet.
But Eli's going to help you out.
He'll be on your shoulder
whispering answers in your ear
because I want you to win again tonight
and come back again next week.
And then the week after,
and the week after.
It's cool. We're just friends. It's cool.
All right.
So, Neil starts us off.
Name a movie that John Lithgow is in.
The World According to Garp.
Yes.
Went way back on that one.
Yeah.
Such a great movie.
I believe it was his first Academy Award nomination.
Lorenza, Eli, team Lorenza, Eli.
Oh.
But he hasn't asked anything yet.
Oh, I have asked.
Oh, Raising Cain.
Yes.
Yes.
Brian De Palma, classic.
As long as we're in that zone,
I will go with
Blowout.
Wow.
Yeah.
Nice.
Greta?
I can only think of one. I can't think of the name of it. Oh, that's perfect. Oh, you can't think of the name of it Retta? I can only think of one,
and I can't think of the name of it.
Oh, that's perfect.
Oh, you can't think of the name of it, though.
I can't think of the name of it.
Oh, I hate to kick you out this early.
It's all right.
You know...
Hey, maybe somebody could back her up.
This is unprecedented.
I'm just saying,
if she gets home...
Mark Wahlberg is going to partner up with Retta.
Woo-hoo!
Good luck to Sean and Neil at this point.
They're up against some strong teams here.
All right, Mark's helping her out.
Harry and the Hendersons.
Yes.
Go, Retta!
That's how we fucking do.
You let me know if you need me, okay?
I'll just be right here
looking at you.
Wait, you're gonna
walk out every time?
He needs a fucking entrance every time.
He can't just hang out.
Oh, no.
Sean?
What are you...
You can't possibly be throwing in the towel
already
well I'm thinking
and I
you know
John Lithgow
yes
nope
I don't think
everybody's ever said
his name with such
urgency
John Lithgow
John Lithgow
what's wrong with you
oh
Jesus
Murphy
well let me give you
a second to think
because I'd love to do this when you're on the show.
Just really quickly, while you're thinking about Lithgow
and other go-go Lithgow productions,
could you please favor us with,
could you perform the theme song from Harry and the Hendersons?
How am I supposed to be thinking of another movie
while I'm singing a song?
I think you can do it.
Hey, what's that sound in the bushes?
Hey, who's that guy over there
covered in hair?
It's Harry,
Harry and the Hendersons.
It's Harry,
Harry and the Hendersons.
It's a word that sounds the same, though it's spelled differently.
He is Harry, and his name is Harry.
Can you see the joke in that?
He's Harry and the Hendersons.
It's Harry and the Hendersons.
Oh my God. and a Henderson.
Oh my God.
See, that was a lot of time to think.
Nothing?
He's not an actor I followed closely.
Brother, me out. A lot of supporting roles.
That's the thing.
He didn't support a lot.
I was going to say
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels,
but he was in the musical
on Broadway.
Yeah.
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.
All right.
Sucko.
Well, you're out then.
No, I'm going to say
Apocalypse Now.
Oh, good guess.
You're out.
Neil? No, I'm going to say Apocalypse Now. Oh, good guess. You're out. Neil.
Hard, isn't it?
Wait, now I have to go?
Yeah, any John Lithgow movie.
We're all just naming them until we run out.
Oh, I'm out.
I've been out.
What do you mean?
I've been out, man.
You can't name any John Lithgow movies?
He's got a movie out now with the dude.
What's that called?
I don't know.
No one knows.
I don't know.
I think I know what it's called.
Raising Cane 2.
Something about company.
Is the word company in it?
No.
Want to say like comfort of strangers?
Nope.
You're in the ballpark, but you're out.
Lorenza, Eli?
Obsession.
Oh, okay.
It's another De Palma movie.
Have we banged out all the De Palma movies he was in?
Maybe.
Maybe.
Oh, maybe.
Maybe not.
I think we have,
but maybe not.
I'm going to go with
The Campaign.
I didn't see that.
Yeah, yeah.
My friend Zach was in that.
Retta,
with a little help from
Mark.
Mark,
I got you, bro.
Cliffhanger. I'm fucking bringing it right now. Cliffhanger.
I'm fucking bringing it right now.
Cliffhanger.
I knew he was in the musical on Broadway.
How did...
Wasn't there, like, what was the song right before the act break in Cliffhanger, the musical, on Broadway?
How did that go?
Will I be able to hold onto this rope?
I don't know. Wait a minute.
Nope.
I should be able to
sing my way back
into the game.
I think that's a good point.
Alright.
Team Eli, Lorenza.
I love that when he whispers it to her, she might
say it wrong.
Into the microphone.
I will throw them out.
They're debating it.
Okay.
Say it.
Just say it.
Last guess.
Okay.
Porky's 2 or Steel Magnolia?
Porky's 2 or Steel Magnolia?
Wow.
Eli, are you messing with her?
No, no.
I thought you could do better than that.
I'm trying to do the John Lithgow, southern John Lithgow movies,
where he's a very southern man.
And I was just trying to do movies
where people talk like that.
Are we doing lines with Eli right now?
That's my shit, bro.
I'm John Lithgow.
You guys are out.
You're out, you're out, you're out.
Why?
Thank you for playing. It's funny funny because I have the two DVD set
of Steel Magnolias
and that other movie.
Can't even remember the other movie.
Porky's 2.
Porky's 1
for the longest time was the largest
grossing Canadian movie
of all time.
Bob Clark, big Canadian director.
Max Payne came out and destroyed that fucking movie. all time. Bob Clark, big Canadian director. And then Max Payne
came out
and destroyed that fucking movie.
Oh, shit.
Mark!
That is shit.
That is disrespectful.
I'm going to go with,
for John Lithgow,
I'm going to go with
This Is 40.
What?
Yeah.
There's a movie called
This Is 40.
He was in it.
And then we toss it back
to Retta and Mark. I got this one, babe. She's got it. Retta's in. called This Is 40. He was in it. And then we toss it back to Reda and Mark.
I got this one, babe.
She's got it.
Reda's in.
Do it, girl.
I got you.
You just hang on to those beautiful nails.
Okay.
Ricochet.
Ricochet, yes.
I swear to God that's what I was going to tell you.
I swear to God.
We're meant to be.
I don't know why you fight.
Reda never would have had an answer to this game
if John Lithgow never worked with Denzel
I was thinking
Raising Cain was Ricochet
I was going to say Ricochet
but I thought he said Raising Cain
you did right?
no my girl did
I'm going to say fucking idiot
I'm going to go with Terms of Endearment
oh yeah that's right
Academy Award nominee for that as well.
Mark Retta?
Mark Retta?
I gave you everything I had, girl.
Oh, shit, you're spent?
Unless Third Rock from the Sun made a movie.
I don't have shit.
They did.
It's called Looper.
He's in Looper?
No.
I meant 30 Days of Summer.
Oh, you're talking about Jay Gord's?
Jay Gord's?
Yeah, I mean, I know that's what you call him.
Was he in Seabiscuit?
I don't think so.
No?
He was the horse.
Brenna, just say that as your answer so you and I can get out of here.
All right.
That's my answer, Seabiscuit.
That's incorrect.
So I'm the winner, but the audience has more.
Footloose, of course.
Footloose.
He tried to stop music and dancing.
He was so evil.
Buckaroo Banzai, monkey boy.
Another very funny line from the Planet of the Apes.
Line from Guardians of the Galaxy. There very funny line. Rise of the Planet of the Apes. Line from Guardians of the Galaxy.
There's this house.
Everybody in this town has got sticks up their asses.
Who put the sticks in their asses?
Why did they do?
Who did such a thing?
Are you doing fucking lines now?
What is this show?
All right, I'm going to roll.
Hey, Mark Wahlberg, everybody.
I'm going to have Donnie pull the car around.
Jesus.
I'll never forget you, Retta.
So that means that Retta is our winner, though.
She took it down.
Wow.
Yeah.
So we're not going to read Anna's really long
shithead thing about Danish neighbors
and raccoons.
Sorry we have to miss out on that.
But come get your prize bag.
Yeah, congratulations. Prize bags.
She gets it all.
There you go.
Congratulations.
Good job.
And if those have shitheads on the back of them, go ahead and pass them to me.
And that doesn't have one.
Oh, oh.
Where is that her guy, Demi?
Demi's over here.
Come over here. Just write somebody for me to call a shithead on the back of your poster.
Just anybody. Whoa, whoa. Anybody, really. Just write somebody for me to call a shithead on the back of your poster. Just anybody.
Is this the guy from Her?
That was funny.
That was really funny.
Alright, so
is Eli still over there?
Eli and Lorenzo, what have you got
to plug? What are your plugs?
You're better at this.
Yeah, you're better at this.
A great John Lithgow movie called Porky's 2.
I think you'll all enjoy it greatly.
You don't have any real plugs?
No real plugs?
No, just Hemlock Grove, season 2
on Netflix, and we're going to do
season 3, so thank you all for watching. No, just Hemlock Grove, season two on Netflix. And we're going to do a season three.
So thank you all for watching.
There you go.
And continue that.
We've got me and Unforreadable here on my side.
That's her Twitter handle, Unforreadable.
We've got Sex Ed coming out on November 7th.
And yeah, that's kind of it.
Thank you so much for coming back.
I appreciate it.
Thank you for having me.
Neil Brennan has a program on the Sundance channel
called The Approval Matrix.
That is correct.
Approval Matrix.
And it's just all things pop culture.
It's not hip-hop.
Yeah, it's pop culture, yeah.
And when you go back there,
like when you show up on the set,
are you going to be embarrassed
that you couldn't name any John Lithgow movies? Because that sort of falls's pop culture, yeah. And when you go back there, when you show up on the set, are you going to be embarrassed that you couldn't name any John Lithgow movies?
Because that sort of falls under pop culture.
No, I'm going to be all right.
And the Champs podcast with our pal Moshe Kasher.
Yeah, check that out.
I assume you mostly talk about sports on there.
When you get around to it.
Moshe's dead.
I don't think he knows what sports are.
when you get around to it?
Moshe's dead.
I don't think he knows what sports are.
But the little logo for the show and the name makes it seem like it's about sports.
Oh, I know. It's just a misnomer.
Oh, okay.
I have to check it out, though.
You do what?
We only talk about and to black people.
Oh.
Reddits been on the show.
There you go.
I'm black you know
hold it
hold it
we're trying to get a
chestnut Zoe Saldana
on the show as well
chestnut
it's a beautiful
mahogany
I always forget
teak
because I've never
listened to
I've never listened to
the Chance podcast, but
you've heard it, right, Sean?
How's the theme song go?
What's happening?
What are you listening to?
You took a chance.
That's it?
That's a crazy
theme song.
Why are you listening? You took a chance.
Here we go. What are you you listening? You took a chance. Here we go.
What are you listening to?
You took a chance.
If you think it's butter, but it's not.
It's chiffon.
There used to be a butter margarine company in Canada.
Similar theme song, so I ripped it off.
We have chiffon here.
Do you have chiffon?
And that theme song, yeah. Yeah. We totally have it. If you think it's only a theme song, so I ripped it off. We have chiffon here. Do you have chiffon? And that theme song, yeah.
Yeah. We totally have it.
Everything gets buttered. Okay.
Unforgettable.
So look for
Sean on Comics Unleashed
late at night when you have
nothing else to watch. Yeah. You're flipping
around. I have a new album out. There you go.
On iTunes. It's called
Live from Planet Serpo.
How do you spell Serpo?
S-E-R-P-O.
You know how I spell it?
Reda.
Parks and Reda on NBC Thursday nights.
Also starring in Sex Ed.
With my new friend, Haley Joel Osment,
I found out he followed me on Twitter,
and we've been writing back and forth,
and we'll get him on here sometime soon.
Yeah, he wanted to come tonight,
but he was shooting too late.
I think he also will, I've heard rumors
that he might come on my weed show.
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah.
And I can't wait, because after a few hits,
I'm definitely going to say to them,
I see high people.
Thank you to all of my guests.
Thank you, Lorenza, Neil, Sean, and Retta.
No last names necessary.
I'll be in Nashville November 6th and 8th,
douglasmovies.com,
for all my dates and deets.
And we're only eight minutes over.
That's not too bad.
And as always, not winning the prize
bag on your birthday is a shithead.
U.S.
Border Services Officer
in Toronto Airport is a shithead.
I know that guy.
He's terrible.
That one guy is ruining it for everybody.
And speaking of ruining things,
Ray Rice is a it for everybody. And speaking of ruining things, Ray Rice is a shit.
Now it's time to go to watch another talkie.
Rise up, both of you, and try what's next.
Hip-hoppy, there's no room in his heart for you.
Because Doug loves movies.