Doug Loves Movies - Neal Brennan, Seth Herzog, and Megan Neuringer Guest
Episode Date: June 14, 2012Live from the Baltimore Comedy Factory, Doug welcomes comedians Neal Brennan, Seth Herzog, and Megan Neuringer to the show....See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Pr...ivacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Candy wrapper screaming, baby sticky seeds
With 50 other pop-up kernels in his teeth
There's still not more that he won't see
With Doug the Kool-Aid Hey everybody!
My name is Doug and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies and Rearranges the Furniture.
Now I gotta go get my script out of the bag.
I just wanted to move it back a little bit.
I didn't want these folks on the sides to be staring at our backs the entire time.
I, you know, I do what I can.
I should have had to move them
when I came in, but they look good from over there.
It looked perfect.
Thank you guys for coming. I know there's
an Orioles-Phillies game
going on here downtown.
This isn't Doug
loves yelling stupid shit about sports.
We're coming to you,
in case you haven't figured it out yet,
from the Comedy Factory in Baltimore
on Saturday, June 9th, 2 Oceans 12,
at 420-ish.
Everything's perfect today Since last I spoke and you listened
I did two movie interruptions
At the Bonnaroo Music and Mud Festival
Crank 2 High Voltage was pretty fun
Yeah, you like that?
Weird ass movie. I came up
with a great drinking game to play during
Crank 2 high voltage. Every time
they show the words high voltage
on the screen, stop
the movie.
It happens three times
and each time it's like, why are you still
watching this?
It's insane. But in hindsight,
the movie that I chose for the other day at Bonnaroo was a mistake. It was Rambo, the 2008 version. Yeah, and I just didn't, for whatever reason I didn't remember that there was tons and tons of horrible
genocide-y
torture-y
rape-y shit going on
before Rambo finally goes
alright, I'll help out
like, it's really depressing
it's like
Brian Posehn said, next we should
watch Schindler's List and have some more
have some more hilarious
laughs
during that.
So anyway,
it was a little weird at a peaceful,
loving music mud festival, but
you know, what are we going to do?
Monday night in New York City
I will be recording a premium
$2 episode that will be available soon or now in the comedy album section of iTunes.
Now it's time for Watch This, Not That, audience edition.
This is when I go into the audience to get a couple of options.
Couple of options.
Let's ask this nice lady right here who's either having a baby
or I've really stepped in it.
Don't ever make that mistake, you guys.
What's a movie that you enjoy?
Wet Hot American Summer.
Oh, okay
Alright
Let's go over here to this nice lady
What's a movie that you like?
Oh, I like your movie
Super Jaime?
Watch Super Jaime, not Wet Hot American Summer
This has been Watch This, Not That,
audience edition.
Sorry, pregnant lady.
There's nothing to win, really.
Oh, Bay Area of California.
I'll be at Tommy T's in Pleasanton
June 16th and 17th at 420
with a different support act each day.
You know, it feels weird to be on this stage
and not drunk out of my mind.
And it's a good thing I'm not drunk
because I almost fell right on the person
sitting right where our pregnant friend is right now.
Oh, that'd be the worst thing that could happen.
our pregnant friend is right now.
Oh, that'd be the worst thing that could happen.
Drunk comic falls on pregnant woman.
Ooh.
So, judging from your response,
a lot of you are here for that.
I am drinking today,
but this is the first one,
and I don't think I can get blackout drunk in the next 90 minutes.
But I might as well try.
Also, you fuckers set shots up on stage, too, which was not cool.
Don't do that again.
I'm serious.
Yes.
I totally mean it.
There it is.
I totally mean it.
From the corrections department,
on the last episode,
I gave out some books and a spirit hoodie.
And I didn't know where I got them from,
but they were donated by the nice folks at Untitled Magazine.
Yeah, you try to remember a magazine
called Untitled Magazine.
So thanks to them.
Oh, and the books were signed,
the Bozo book and whatever that other book was.
And I've got some more for future dates,
but I'm not giving any out tonight
because I didn't want to travel with them in my bag.
Now it's time for Tweet Relief, tweets about movies.
Kumalin, K-U-M-A-L-I-N,
aka Kumail Nanjiani, Past and future guest on the show
He tweeted
There are two kinds of people in the world
People who have already seen Prometheus
And people who haven't been disappointed yet
This has been tweet relief
Tweets about movies
Let's go into the prize bag you guys
I did bring some prizes
and my guests contributed some prizes
there's lots of
I don't know any other better way to say it
but comic books that are more
of the girly variety
like what do you call them? Graphic novels
is that what they call them?
and here's another
weird thing. A bunch of giant Dilbert
panels.
Like a whole stack of them. They look like
bumper stickers, but no, it's just Dilbert
doing stuff.
What if I got my ham radio
license to compensate for the...
Ham radio license?
That wasn't funny when it was written. I've got a copy of my friend Tony's in the band Motion City Soundtrack. This is their very
new album. It's called Go. Of course, we've got my first record, Doug Benson Professional
Humor Idiot. We've got a Freak Dance sticker from the movie Freak Dance.
We got the Doug Diggs-It that I'm giving away
on this particular occasion
as a copy of Kill Bill Vol. 2.
And we also have a weird T-shirt
that I don't understand,
but it's got kind of a Ghostbusters theme to it.
Ghost catchers!
No, not ghost catchers. But a Ghostbusters theme to it. No, not Ghostcatchers.
But yeah, it says something on it.
It's something about a robot,
but it looks like a Ghostbuster.
It's a fun shirt.
It'd be good for wiping down your
car.
And
also a copy of, this is is very cool best of Chappelle's show uncensored
the top 25 sketches please Baltimore give a big warm welcome to my friends
Seth Herzog Megan Ehringer and Neil Brennan Hey you guys
What's up? How are you Doug?
I'm doing all right.
Hi.
Oh, it's a stool, and I'm in a skirt, so...
Oh, nice.
Enjoy my stool.
Front row.
Sorry.
Oh, don't cross your legs.
Believe me, you want me to cross my legs.
Or, you know what?
These swivel.
Let's pretend this is The Voice.
And...
Only turn around when you hear something you like.
Or The Choice.
How come NBC
can't sue Fox for coming up with
The Choice, a dating game
where their chairs spin around? That seems
a little too steely.
I didn't watch it. It's a new show.
Is that the one that Lopez hosts?
Who? George Lopez?
I don't think so.
He doesn't host either The Voice or The Choice. Is that the one that Lopez hosts? Who? George Lopez? I don't think so. George Lopez does not host it.
He doesn't host either The Voice or The Choice.
George Lopez hosts the show on Fox.
Burn.
It's a dating show.
He does?
Yeah.
Wow, this guy's giving the long answer.
Yeah.
Wow.
We have a Fox exec in the front row.
I had no idea.
It's a dating show where he started to go,
where one man?
Yeah, but anyway, there's a thing called the choice
and I think it's funny that they got away with that.
But Neil Brennan is here, everybody.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And you, you're here all weekend
playing the world famous Comedy Factory.
I sure am, Doug.
Yeah, yeah.
You got two shows tonight.
Yeah, and if anybody wants to come back,
they're going to give free thingies to come back.
A few weeks ago, yeah.
One dude, two dudes.
Free things?
Three or four dudes.
A lady.
What do you get?
What free things do you get?
You get to come back for free.
Oh, okay.
See me, yeah.
I caught Neil's set in Charlotte, North Carolina a few weeks ago.
It's super duper funny.
Stay for that if you guys aren't
passed out.
If you don't overdo it
during this show.
Tomorrow night or are you done tonight?
I'm done.
Thank you for coming in early today and doing this.
And I just have one question that all the fans are dying to know.
And that is, because you've worked with some amazing people,
you directed a film called The Goods.
That is correct.
And, yeah.
Work hard, sell hard.
So the question is, what's it like working with T.J. Miller?
The question is, what's it like working with T.J. Miller?
They fucking love him.
What are you yelling?
Denver.
Oh, he's from Denver.
His impression of, or is it Pete's impression of,
Pete Holmes' impression of T.J. Miller is,
Denver, yeah!
It's become this stupid thing.
It was amazing.
That's the question.
No, I actually said to him at one point,
it's actually kind of the meanest direction I've ever given to somebody.
I said, T.J.,
you have a big stupid face.
And you have to play defense
against your own stupid face.
That's the direction? Yeah, that's the direction I gave him.
Did you tell him to do anything
or just play defense against his face?
And action. Did he take the note?
That was right before he jumped out of the plane?
He took the note?
He had to. What choice did he have?
He's got a big stupid face.
And you know now it's on his resume.
I hope so.
I play defense against my own stupid face.
It's under skills. Special skills.
I don't know who to talk to next.
Megan Neuringer is here everybody In a skirt
Yeah
I'm sorry I didn't warn you about the stools
No in my defense
You said what cute outfit
Are you going to wear today
I did
What a creep!
I know.
Did I say that to you guys?
Yeah.
I did.
Oh, good, good, good.
You said, I hope you're wearing that tight shirt.
I said, I'm going to for you.
Oh, nice.
And I didn't answer the text, but I was like, I guess I got to dress up.
And so I'm wearing...
This seems like something you'd wear on a hot day.
It is. A hot outfit for a hot
day. Am I right, ladies?
It's clean. Alright, cool.
And, uh...
It's clean. You've done the show,
you've done this program, Douglas Movies,
out in Los Angeles.
And now you're here in
Baltimore. But you live in the New York area.
Yes, in the city. Or. Yes, in the city.
Or in the city.
I live in Chelsea, actually.
Okay, and your address is?
Seth Herzog is here as well.
Hey, everybody.
Yeah.
Yes.
That got less applause than a reference of T.J. Miller.
I'm here in the room, people.
I showed up.
I showed up.
You just mentioned T.J. and people pee their pants.
Well, he's been on the show many times.
This is your first appearance.
This is my first appearance.
I'm very excited.
So we've got to work hard today to get you some sort of catchphrase that people will want to repeat and yell when your name comes up later.
I'm in the room. I showed up. There we go.
Is that a terrible
catchphrase? Worst catchphrase ever?
I'm in the room. I showed up.
Yeah. No, it's not very good.
I'm in the room.
I think just I'm in the room is enough.
I'm in the room.
I want it to seem awkward
so no one wants to yell the whole thing.
Mission accomplished. It's like vaguely threatening. in the room. I want it to seem awkward so no one wants to yell the whole thing. They should accomplish.
It's like
vaguely threatening. I'm in
the room.
It's like when
a stranger calls
without phones. Just a guy whispering
in a corner. I'm in the room.
I'm in the room.
Get out of the house. I'm in the room.
I showed up. She finally figures out that it's the guy in the room. Get out of the house. I'm in the room. I showed up.
She finally figures out that it's the guy in the room.
So you...
They might recognize you from...
You probably pop onto the screen
on The Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.
I'm in a lot of the sketches on The Fallon Show
about once a week.
I do a character and a bit on the show.
I'm the dude spoon guy.
I spoon with guys on a giant bed from the show. I'm the dude spoon guy. I spoon with guys on a giant bed
from the audience.
They reel out a giant bed and I'm wearing
silk boxers,
one sock,
one fingerless glove, a chain,
sometimes a
target on the nip.
And then I spoon with a guy
for 30 seconds who didn't want it.
Oh, they have to not want it?
Some guys want it more than others.
It's a surprise.
They don't know what's coming.
Some guys don't like it.
Some guys were shockingly into it,
like much more than they should be.
And because it's televised,
I bet some of them are like shivering
when you're holding them.
Almost all of them are.
And I'm just trying to calm them down,
and I'm holding them, and then I whisper.. And I'm just trying to calm them down. And I'm holding them.
That would have the opposite effect on me.
Yeah.
If you're stroking me to calm me down.
Exactly.
And then the band is playing.
The roots are playing.
So no one can hear it.
But I'm whispering very normal guy things in their ear while I'm doing it.
And no one can hear it until later when the show airs.
They turn that up.
So you never know what I'm saying until the show
actually airs. Wait, I'm sorry. What's normal
guy thing? Like,
what are you doing later this weekend? You want to go
catch the game? Or are you excited about
the Oscars? The Help is like the
feel-good movie of the decade.
It's not a normal guy. It's very...
It's not sexy stuff.
No, it isn't.
Unless you think The help is sexy.
So with your busy, fouling schedule, because you write stuff for the program.
A little bit here and there.
I'm not a writer officially, but I help out with the things I'm in.
Oh, that's cool.
Yeah.
And so does that keep you too busy to go to movies?
Or do you ever get out to see them?
I go to movies a lot.
What was the last thing that you saw?
If you could pull it from the memory bank.. What was the last thing that you saw? I'm trying to remember the last thing I saw.
I know.
I just saw
Book of Mormon yesterday.
That's not a film.
That's freshest in my head.
It's not a film yet.
It will be in like a week.
What did I just go see?
I don't remember. I'm having a brain fart.
I have to look through my wallet.
Let's come back to you.
You have your receipts in your wallet?
That's how you remember what you did?
You're like the guy in Memento
but you don't like tattoos?
But with my wallet.
I can only remember 10 minutes at a time.
You get accused of rape.
Let me check my receipts.
Oh, I did buy a gun and a rope.
All right, we'll skip over to Neil then.
I like that joke.
I like that joke.
I like it.
It was good, right?
I like the rape joke, yeah.
What did you see?
I mean, Neil started apologizing to me,
and that's the only time that I started to feel bad about that joke.
No, I don't think you deserve better than that.
What about you?
I saw The Avengers.
Yeah?
Nah.
Yeah.
I didn't feel it.
Really?
Oh, you know what?
This is interesting, though.
On Twitter yesterday,
I wrote a tweet where I said
holy fuck,
I'm not going to see Rock of Ages.
You're going to be aggressive
about it. Like tweeting
not watching Rock of Ages right now.
You can't believe how much
I'm not going to see it.
That's almost a hate crime. Yeah. If it's playing in a mall, I'm not going to see it. That's like almost a hate crime.
Yeah.
Like if it's playing in a mall, I won't go to that mall.
What is it?
All right, but listen.
What is it most?
What appeals to you least about it?
Like vamping.
It just looks like him just breathing hard.
I'm like, yeah.
And like really cruising out.
Yeah, he works very hard in it, I bet.
Yeah, maybe too hard.
That's it.
That's basically it.
Tom Cruise is the only reason?
It's not that it's a musical
or that it's all shit songs from the 80s?
I don't like musicals.
I'll just listen to those.
I don't know if people know,
you can download all the songs on iTunes.
Yeah, you could just listen to the on iTunes. What do you mean?
Yeah, you could just listen to the cast of Glee
sing every fucking song.
Yeah, exactly.
Rock of Ages.
It's like high-budget celebrity karaoke.
Why wouldn't I want to spend $13 on that?
Exactly.
So I tweet that.
Unbeknownst to me, Alec Baldwin follows me.
What?
Oh.
Who I like to call
the horse whisperer.
H-O-A-R-S-E.
Oh, got it.
Oh, wonderful.
Wonderful.
Wonderful.
Very good.
Very good.
Good.
That is good.
I'm giving it to you.
Very good.
I'll see you guys later.
I'll see you guys later.
I really almost fell off of this thing.
Alec follows, or I don't know if he follows me
or he found out about it.
He writes back directly to me,
but you have so much time
on your hands.
Oh!
Zing!
Which means he like IMDB
he had to do research to know how much time
I have on Wikipedia.
Well he was already following you so he's already a fan.
Or not. I don't know.
Like why?
You could hate follow someone.
How many people does Alec Baldwin follow?
He follows like 200 or something. Yeah cause sometimes it's like Like, why... You would hate follow someone. How many people does Alec Baldwin follow?
He follows like 200 or something.
Yeah, because sometimes it's like weird that some strange celebrities,
like whoever runs Britney Spears' account,
follows me.
But Britney Spears follows 2,000 people.
Yeah.
Like, she's not sitting around reading all that shit.
I doubt it.
There's no way.
Yeah.
Yeah, somebody that works for her
is just going to follow
every single person
they can think of
and be like,
make them happy
that Britney Spears
is following them.
But if she makes a movie,
I'm going to tweet
some shit about it
and see if she's as clever
as Alec Baldwin.
Crossroads.
That was her big film.
Remember that?
Yeah.
Crossroads,
the big Britney movie.
I love the music stars that have one movie.
Yeah.
Or maybe also The Preacher's Wife.
You know, like sometimes they get a second one.
They get a second one.
Or then they just make a whole jump.
That's all they're doing.
She actually did Waiting to Exhale, too.
And then she did a TV version of Cinderella.
And then she said, that's it.
And also.
And she has another one that hasn't
come out yet. Too late?
And also, too late.
Or too soon in the
day?
Never too soon. Alright.
Well, that's just me.
She's saying, great.
Megan, do you have an answer to this question?
Seth is filing through his receipts.
I'm filing away my receipts.
Let me look at my receipts.
The answer to the question you just asked me this moment,
do I have an answer to the question?
Have you been to the cinema lately?
Yes.
What did you see?
I saw Moonrise Kingdom.
That's cute, right?
I am wearing glasses and weird nail color, so of course I saw it.
I loved it.
You know, I'm twee and pretentious, so I loved it.
I think Wes Anderson is back, y'all.
No, it was good.
I thought it was really good.
He's kind of back.
It's not hilarious.
Well, okay.
It's cute.
Look.
And weird. I's not hilarious. It's cute. And weird.
I struggle with depression.
So some things are funny to me
that aren't funny to other people.
Emotion, like, you know,
precocious kids talking about adult
relationship stuff.
That was fun. Appeals to me.
That part appealed to me.
I just pretended she was
Lana Del Rey as a young girl.
She was.
Right?
She was.
That's very apt.
It's like a case study.
If you haven't seen the movie, I hope you're enjoying this.
I'm not saying this to shit on Baltimore,
but I imagine Moonrise Kingdom isn't playing here.
Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay, good. It'srise Kingdom isn't playing here.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, okay, good. It's going to be here next week. I don't mean this to shit on Baltimore,
but what a piece of shit city.
Huh?
And those are the people who live here.
What a backwater ass
real piece of shit.
Nothing going on.
Can't even get a fucking movie to come to your town?
It's not the cast.
They just have to send a fucking box of a movie to your fucking town.
Get it together.
What?
The Wire is the best worst thing to happen to this city.
Yeah, it's true.
Did you guys see John Carter?
Of course you didn't.
It was a bomb.
But fucking McNulty
is in John Carter.
It's like,
what are you doing, man?
Why are you on Mars
instead of in Baltimore?
I know you got kicked
off the force,
but shit.
I thought you said Nick Nolte.
Me too?
And then I realized it was Mick Nolte.
Then what happened?
Alright, do you have an answer now?
No, I can't remember the last thing I saw.
I think, honestly,
Badness Bears, something 1978.
Probably the last movie I saw.
On TV or something.
On TV, yeah.
Bugsy Malone, Scott Baio.
Do you always name one person that's in the movie?
Just so we know which one I'm talking about.
Which Bugsy Malone?
The non-musical.
Jodie Foster, of course.
It's probably a bigger name
And that fat kid from Fish
Not the band
The TV show
TV show
That's how old I am
I don't think the band
Had a fat kid in it
You didn't even think about that
There was a band
No I didn't even know
There was a band until now
There's a TV show called Fish
That we're all aware of
No one's aware of it
So does anyone I didn't even know there was a band until now. There's a TV show called Fish that we're all aware of. No one's aware of it.
So does anyone hunger for games? Yes.
This first game is probably...
You're probably all unfamiliar with this game.
So that'll make it extra fun.
It's called ABCD's Nuts.
What we do is we take turns going down the line between the three of you.
We'll start with Megan and then go to Neil and then to Seth,
and you each have to name a movie that starts with the next letter of the alphabet.
And you can only use movies that start with V
when you're on the letter T.
All right, that was my only question.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Thank you.
Yeah, a lot of people get hurt that way.
If you can use every movie that begins with the...
In whatever letter.
Do you go?
No, no, but I used to play, but I win every time, so...
And not because I'm better
at it, because I play every time
and you guys are just finding out about it now.
So I have a little bit more of a game
head going on, but
we've added... We? I?
It's just me. It's just Doug Loves Movies.
It's not we love movies.
The royal Doug Loves Movies.
Yeah. Each of you get one
Doug out and that means, it's like
cash cab, you get one chance to
say, Doug, just help me out with this one
and I will say a movie for
you. If I can think of one, I might fuck up.
But if I can think of one, I'll say one
and then you only get that one time.
It's like the street shout-out or whatever.
Could you explain this more?
Yes.
Wow.
Wow.
And last person standing or sitting on a stool in a skirt wins.
And let's start, Megan,
with the letter A.
Annie Hall.
Bam! It's that easy.
That's the bad news bears.
Out.
Okay, Seth, the letter is B.
No, no.
The remake was the?
We're sure about that?
Yeah.
The Dick Linklater one?
I don't think they ever just call it Bad News Bears.
No.
We're sure.
The Bad News Bears. Go ahead. You should have an expert with a computer
who's always good at checking that shit out.
Only we had portable computers.
On their phones.
Is it
The Prometheus?
Right.
Really, bro?
You don't have to be an expert to know it's
The Bad News Bears.
And I could be wrong.
The remake is bad news bears.
Oh!
Damn!
Wait, is it
the in your fucking face?
Wow.
Oh, shit.
That got real quick.
But you were just guessing.
No, I wasn't.
No, I wasn't.
I knew that it was...
That's the one change that they made when they remade it.
They're like, we got to change something.
That's all I need, bro.
Yeah.
Instead of the coach taking him to...
He takes him to Hooters in the new one.
Yeah.
And in the first one, he just gave him beers.
Right?
Yeah. Anyway. The new one. And in the first one, he just gave them beers. Right?
Yeah.
Anyway.
They're like, the Bad News Bears is too wordy.
No, it's, yeah, let's make it flashier.
Sleek it up. Bad News Bears.
You know, it really pops.
Yeah.
But anyway, so you did it.
You're still in.
All right.
C.
C is your letter, Seth.
California Sweet? Sure. That's a great movie. You're still in. C. C is your letter, Seth. California Suite.
Sure.
That's a great movie.
It is.
It exists.
Yeah, yeah.
It does.
Michael Caine.
Megan.
D.
Drop Dead Fred.
It's the...
Check it.
It's the...
The Drop Dead Fred.
Okay, E for Neil.
Elephant.
Just elephant.
Yep.
Yeah, that was that...
It was that like Columbine-ish.
Yeah, yeah.
Was it Columbine or Ish?
It was Columbine-ish.
Ish, okay.
Gus Van Sant.
It was Esk.
Derivative.
Yeah, it was total hack.
What a rip-off.
Yeah.
derivative. Yeah, it was a total hack.
What a rip-off! Yeah.
So not
how it happened. Go ahead.
Hey, but that ties a couple things together
because that is the elephant
in the room.
Bam! I'm in the room
too now. Oh, he's also in the room!
Yeah, I just lost my
catchphrase.
You got jacked.
F. Firestarter.
Nice.
G. This is more testing my knowledge
of the alphabet. Yeah, yeah. What's next?
What letter's next?
G is...
It's not
called Garp, so I can't use that movie.
Think of another one fast.
G.
Garfield.
Yes, Garfield.
Or you could have gone Garfield 2, A Tale of Two Kitties.
I hate sequels.
H.
Heaven Can Wait.
Mm-hmm.
Wait, which one?
Warren Beatty?
Yeah, the Beatty one.
Not the original.
Not the black and white.
Okay.
Seth Kitt's I?
Invincible.
Yeah.
Oh, that's right.
Jump and Jack Flash.
Whoopi Goldberg. Every movie she says gets applause
It's the most amazing idea anyone's ever had
Everybody thinks I'm stupid
So they're like
That's the retard
Ladies and gentlemen
Kate and Leopold
Ladies and gentlemen
All right I gotta do this, no dugouts You guys are too good at this Ladies and gentlemen You're getting applause breaks
Alright, I gotta do this, no dugouts
You guys are too good at this
Crossing that off
Oh, no more lifelines
Yeah, yeah, you're on your own
Seth gets L
L, sure
That begins with U
Let's go to Megan.
What's your L1?
Love and other drugs?
Yes.
Thank you.
It's a great movie if you like tits.
Megan?
Manhattan.
Very nice.
N for Neil?
Yeah.
N is for Neil.
My tits.
Everyone's going to walk out of here with a catchphrase.
Feels good, bro.
People are going to yell it at you all the time and you're gonna go to Africa
I want to point out I want to point out the one black guy here started the applause break on that
he's like I knew he would fucking pay coming to pay off
some white shit, baby,
but this is,
every once in a while I throw in some black shit.
Never Say Never Again.
Yes.
I would ask you to do that.
It's a good life lesson,
that title.
Othello. It's been a that title. Othello.
It's been a few productions of Othello.
Sure, or you could just go, oh.
Right, black guy?
Oh, right, oh yeah.
Right, black guy?
Black dude?
Yeah, black dude.
I don't consider that a real movie.
Oh, face, the movie.
Really, it's his favorite movie of all time.
You racist.
You racist.
Who was in that?
Was that Mekhi Pfeiffer?
Yeah.
Julia Stiles? Are you serious?
Like I mixed up Mekhi Pfeiffer
and Julia Stiles.
Julia Stiles played O in that
production. I don't know if you saw that.
You got the wrong lady.
All right, Megan, you get
P. Pritzy's Honor. Movies I don't know if you saw that. You got the wrong lady. All right, Megan, you get P.
Pritzy's Honor.
Very good.
Movies I don't care about.
Now she finally didn't get an applause break.
She was like, going for it, nothing.
Pritzy's Honor.
And I'll tell you right now,
if we get to Z with nobody missing,
we're going to stop the stupid game.
Quiz show.
Yeah.
Don't even bother looking it up.
There's no the on that one.
Ramblin' Rose.
Laura Dern, right?
Yeah, sure. Why not?
Look it up.
S for Megan.
There's a lot of them.
Saving Private Ryan.
Why do you say it like...
She says it like it's a cop-out.
Like, obviously Saving Private Ryan.
Yeah, there's that one.
Well, I was going to say Shenandoah,
but I think it was a miniseries from the time before I was born.
Yeah, I don't know what you're talking about.
It was a musical.
I think Saving Private Ryan was a good way to go.
Just try to win.
Don't worry about how you do it.
That's my philosophy.
T, Neil.
The good, the bad, and the ugly.
Yeah.
He used the option to use the word the.
Yeah.
I'm shocked.
You, you, you in the room.
UHF, wasn't that a film?
Michael Richards.
Was in it, yes.
Michael Richards was in that.
Silly movie.
Julia Stiles.
Julia Stiles.
Mikel Pfeiffer.
V, Megan.
Victor Victoria.
Victor slash Victoria.
W for Neil.
When a stranger calls.
I'm in the room.
Now it's yours.
Now you own it.
X.
Yeah, you can't say Zardoz.
I can say fucking Xanadu, though.
Yeah.
Come on. Is there any other movie that begins
with X? No.
Yes, X-Men, X2,
X-Men First Class.
I don't know what you're talking about. I have no idea what you're talking about. X-Men, X-2, X-Men First Class. I don't know what you're talking about.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
X-Men, Origins, Wolverine.
I am a child of the 70s.
Why?
You only live once?
Oh!
It's twice!
Oh, it's twice! Is it twice? It's twice! Oh, it's twice!
It's twice!
Alright, so now it's going head to head.
We're going to move a little faster now.
We're going to keep going through the alphabet.
Yeah, you still have to do Y.
You could cheat and just say you only live...
You only live three times?
You only live three times? No, you only lived... You only lived twice.
Yeah.
No, all right, you can't take it.
Garfield three, you only lived seven times.
No, no, no, here you go.
You can't take it with you.
I'm old-fashioned.
Nice.
Okay.
Four people know that movie.
Zebra Head.
Hey, Neil.
Three, two, Neil. Three.
Two.
About last night.
Yeah.
Dot, dot, dot.
B, Seth.
Being there.
C, Neil.
Three.
Two.
One. Seth is our winner! C, Neil. Three, two, one.
Can you dig it? Seth is our winner!
There's not a movie called Can You Dig It?
Can you dig behind that?
Can you dig it?
I had no Ds.
Really?
That is a wildly difficult game.
All I was thinking was Dumbo Drop.
Dumbo Drop. But it was
really Operation Dumbo Drop.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It wasn't just dropping an elephant for no reason.
It was a specific
operation to achieve
some goal that I never
figured out. I just let it cut
to the meat.
Well, that was an exciting game of ABC
Deez Nuts.
Yeah, we did it.
And because Seth is our winner,
that means he gets to go first
and build a title. Nice.
Then we'll switch the order around.
We'll go to Neil and then to
Megan. And the first title...
You should explain this game a little bit.
Oh, okay.
I thought you knew this one, maybe.
I may. I don't know the titles.
We start with the title of the movie,
and then you add to it,
you add other words to it on the beginning or the end,
and it's a sound-alike game,
so you don't necessarily have to...
I will judge, and judge harshly.
Can you give me an example?
Yes, I can.
Let's say the first movie is Godfather.
You can add to the beginning, you could go,
Oh, Godfather.
Or, if you wanted to add to the end, you could go,
Godfather of the Bride.
And then people have to keep adding on to it like that.
And they have to be real movies, not movies
that you wish were made.
You can't make up movies
and our guy that looks shit up
decided to go take a crap all of a sudden.
Oh, you're gonna go look something up?
That's a euphemism for taking a shit to him.
I gotta go look something up in the toilet.
In the toilet. Up my ass. As soon as him. I gotta go look something up in the toilet.
Up my ass.
As soon as his pants hit the floor,
I'm in the room.
Come on, Beth.
Okay.
So, you'll get the hang of it.
Or you won't.
Doesn't really matter.
Nobody wins or loses.
They just lose or win.
And Seth gets to start.
The at zombie freak on Twitter suggested, in honor of Baltimore, and I agree, pink flamingos.
So you need, and you know Rock of Ages is from the director of Hairspray.
Yeah.
Small world.
As long as we're talking about Baltimore.
So Pink Flamingos.
You have to add to the beginning or end of Pink Flamingos.
Oh, man. Pretty and Pink Flamingos. Yeah.
You went totally obvious with that.
Well, I know how much time... I commend you. It's all about winning. I didn't know how much time I had to think of it. You went totally obvious with that.
Well, I commend you.
It's all about winning.
I didn't know how much time I had to think of it.
I would have thought of something.
Also, I don't know what else you would have thought of.
I don't know how many movies end in pink.
Probably not too many.
Or Pink Flamingo's Kid.
Would that have worked?
I'm going to murder you.
Do you really think that's what it was called?
What?
Was the kid in Pink Flamingos the child of a Pink Flamingo?
No, I'm saying if you want to go a different movie.
Yeah, the Flamingo Kid.
Yeah, would that have worked or not have worked?
No, because what was the Flamingo Kid?
Yeah, that's what I thought.
It was Matt Dillon.
Oh, right.
All right, that's what I thought.
Fisher Stevens.
All right, that's what I thought.
Yeah, yeah. All right.. It was Matt Dillon. Oh, right. All right, that's what I thought. Fisher Stevens. All right, that's what I thought. Yeah, yeah.
All right.
Show off.
Look that up.
Yeah.
Wait a second.
What did you go do?
You got back so fast.
Back so fast.
What are you, the world's fastest?
You peed that fast?
Did you do it on the way?
Yeah.
I got to go over here and pee.
He just peed on the way Until he was done and walked back
It is Baltimore
But seriously
What a piece of shit city
I like how you were bragging about the wire
They shot it here because it was the only city
cracky enough.
Still, you can't take away from the fact
that it's a great show.
Oh, it's a great show, but they shot it...
Let's be clear. They shot it here
because you have a very cracky town.
They're like, Philly?
Not cracky enough.
Everybody in the front row is missing teeth.
And this is for those at home.
That's because you keep kicking them.
It's, um...
Everybody that doesn't do crack is here today.
Every single person.
I was gonna say person in Baltimore.
Judging from the wire,
which is all I know about Baltimore,
there's a shockingly large amount of white people here.
I know.
I don't know how they do it.
I didn't think there was this many
in the area.
Good luck, everybody.
That's why my show ends while the sun
is still out.
I want to get back to the
hotel alive.
And then get killed in my hotel room.
I've always dreamed of going
that way.
Okay, so you have Pink, Fleming,
Pretty Pink, Fleming.
Are we going this way?
Yeah, yeah. So you have to, Neil has to go next, and he has to end in pretty or begin with flamingos,
or you can use part of the word.
So you can go with ghosts.
Flamingos.
Here's an interesting question.
Could I do – I don't know
This is more a rules question
Could I go
The pink flamingo
Like the movie Go
No
Alright I'm just curious
Hey guys I'm just throwing up a spitball
Or he could use pretty
At the end of something
That doesn't build on it at all
I can't think of
anything that ends in pretty. Do we have to respect spelling
or does it have to just be sound? No, sound
sounds. But sounds
that actually sound like the word.
You can't stretch it out
to your needs.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, that's interesting.
That's an interesting way to go.
That's interesting.
How about Pink Flamingo
Stead?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's how it's done.
Nothing like an audience assist.
This isn't like when I had a nine-year-old on the show.
You guys don't need to help.
Okay, flamingo's dad.
So it's pretty in pink, flamingo's dad.
D-daycare.
Huh?
You said D D daycare
D daycare
I was stroking out
but I came up with a film title
are you okay
D daycare
stroking out
D daycare
D daycare
okay so now we go back to Seth
pretty in pink flamingo's Daddy Daycare.
So care.
Yeah.
Or ends in pretty.
I think I have one.
I'm sure audience members do,
and they're being very, very respectful
of not yelling it out.
Maybe that was a ghost that yelled earlier.
Patrick Swayze, everybody.
Can you say...
Oh, shit, there's a penny going up the side of that wall.
You could do...
Sure you could.
Daddy Day Carey.
Oh, yeah.
I think there's a Care Bears movie, isn't there?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But Day Care...
Carrie, the movie Carrie.
Daddy, Day, Carrie works for me.
I like it.
Daddy, Day, Carrie.
So we've got pretty in pink, flaming, ghost, Daddy, Day, Carrie.
So you need something that begins with Carrie or E.
The sound E.
Or ends in
pretty. Those might be stoppers.
Without yelling it out,
does anybody have any?
Okay. Alright.
Settle down.
Oh, I've got a good one.
I've got one.
You got anything?
Daddy, they carry...
and the Hendersons?
Oh.
Is that legal?
Carry.
Hey, could you help me carry my luggage?
That's the fun of the game, right?
Stupid shit.
All right, you're out, but you'll be back.
You'll be back.
Oh, fuck.
We play several rounds of this game, so you'll be back.
You got anything, Megan?
Care-ee.
Care-ee.
Care-ee.
It so doesn't help when I do that. No.
It's like on password,
they used to draw out a word,
Care E.
I don't think this is
Return to Eden.
Wait a second.
Care Return. Oh, I see. I think it Can we turn to Eden? Can we turn to Eden?
Oh, I see.
I think it's Exit to Eden.
I think it's this, yeah.
It might be what you're thinking about,
where Rosie O'Donnell wears dominatrix outfits.
That Rosie O'Donnell nudist film,
that didn't take off the way they'd hoped.
I'm shocked.
And Dan Aykroyd.
Yeah.
Late Dan Aykroyd, not early Dan Aykroyd.
Not sexy, take your clothes off, Dan Aykroyd. Yeah. I'mroyd Not sexy Take your clothes off Dan Aykroyd
Yeah
I was definitely thinking of that one
Is there a movie?
Wait what?
Return to Eden?
TV series
You son of a bitch
Go to the bathroom
Stay where you are
And go to the bathroom
But he's my only friend here
Aww bathroom. But he's my only friend here. Aww.
Alright, now you guys are getting a little yappy.
He's right, though.
Follow pregnant lady's lead and sit
and enjoy the show quietly, hoping your water
doesn't break.
Laughter
induces. How close are you?
Two weeks?
It could happen now. Let's make it happen. Laughter induces. How close are you? Two weeks?
It could happen now.
Let's make it happen.
Let's go, preemie.
All right.
So Seth won that round, everybody.
Thank you.
I'm in the room.
That's where that really comes in handy, yeah.
This could be your opening, too, when you first walk out on stage.
Yeah.
I'm in the room.
Just stating the obvious, really.
Yeah, yeah.
All right, so who was last to, you were last to not think, okay, so, I didn't mean to put it that way, but just trying to figure out who should go next. We'll start with Neil and then go back towards Seth. We'll go in the opposite direction. And Neil, you're
suggested by someone on Twitter whose Twitter handle is nomommyno.
I think that's Alec Baldwin. That's Alec Baldwin, isn't it? No, Mommy, no.
No, Mommy, no.
And your first starter title is Shutter Island.
Shut-er-I-land. All right, let's do one of those V things again.
What?
Like if I say Shutter Island of Dr. Moreau,
it's the island of Dr. Moreau.
Yeah, we just dropped the THE in this game.
So we don't need to worry about it.
Yeah, it gets very confusing.
Then Doug, you've got my answer.
Shudder Island of Dr. Moreau.
Now again, is this the first one or the second one?
Doesn't really matter.
But if you do want to see Val Kilmer
do an awesome impression of Marlon Brando,
watch the more recent Island of Dr. Moreau.
It's pretty much the only good thing in it.
And that really tiny man.
That's where Mike Myers got the idea
for Mini-Me from that movie.
What?
He got the idea for having Mini-Me
from the Island of Dr. Moreau.
You know, if you're going to sit here
and slip in interesting facts about movies,
that's not what this is about
this is about getting fucked up and not making
any sense
alright
thank you though
Shutter Island of Dr. Moreau
oh it's me? I think so didn't we say that?
oh no we're going to Seth I'm sorry
oh we're going to me? relax
oh she's got something though
wow okay hold on all right I'm gonna move around weirdly
take your time with that do something up here thinking is not interesting no thinking is not
interesting at all yeah um no never out never say Okay, has to end in shut. Right.
Island of Dr.
Murrow.
Yeah.
What do you got?
We'll give you something like Dr. Okay, you're out.
Let's give you an example.
What do you have, Megan?
Eyes wide shut.
Yes.
Someone else is in the room.
I'm not going to drop my mic.
It's so dented.
So dented.
Every mic, whenever we go to a comedy club,
they're all dented as fuck.
Because it's never
unfunny to drop a microphone.
Yep.
I'm not even going to tell them which one of us did that.
The listeners are going to be like, who did it?
Okay, so are you with us?
Eyes wide shut or island of Dr. Moreau? Yeah. God, you devil. Oh, God are you with us? Dr. Moreau.
God, you devil.
Oh, God, you devil. That's right.
Moreau, God,
you devil.
All right, Seth.
Seth's out, I thought.
Oh, you were out? Well, apparently.
Okay, back to Megan.
Back to Megan.
The hills have eyes wide shut.
It's your game.
Back to Megan.
Okay.
The hills have eyes wide shut.
Hills have eyes wide shut,
or island of Dr. Moreau, God, you devil.
In a blue dress.
Yeah.
Megan, you've got hills have eyes wide shut, or island of of Dr. Monroe, God, You Devil in a Blue Dress.
No movie ends with the, huh?
No, you could do Hills. We'll drop the the.
Or something that ends in hill.
House on the Hill.
I thought of one.
House on the Hill.
Is that real?
First of all, before you look it up, who's in it?
Horror actors.
All right, look it up.
Is there a movie?
There is a movie called House on the Hill. Yes, there is.
What's weird is it's not even a horror movie.
It was a cast horror actors in a drama.
Yeah.
It doesn't work.
What is it?
It's House on Haunted Hill.
You're out!
Neil takes it.
Yeah, Neil gets that point.
Is that a yoga pose?
I don't know what it is.
That was like a crotch-chop yoga pose.
I would have
gone hamburger heels have eyes
wide shutter island of
Dr. Morogod you devil in the
blue dress.
Anyone?
Dress to kill. Dress to kill.
Nice. Nice. Okay.
So we got Neil has one point. Seth has
one point. We'll play to two or until this has gone on for too long.
And the next suggestion, so Neil got that point,
so we will start with who got knocked out first that round, Seth?
Yeah.
Okay, we'll start with Megan and then go towards Neil.
And it's at Edmusinc.
I don't even know what that name is supposed to mean.
Ed Musink.
Ed Musink.
That's me.
Oh, okay.
No, your name, right?
Megan Nuringer, at Megan Nuringer,
at Neil Brennan, at Seth Nuzog?
No, T-H-E-Z-O-G, the Zog.
The Zog?
It's an old nickname from when I was in eighth grade.
And it's shorter than my actual name.
By three letters.
Yep.
Hey, those are important on Twitter.
It can make all the difference.
So who did I say was starting it?
I don't know.
Okay, Beastmaster.
Same game?
Yeah.
All right.
Same game?
Yeah.
Alright.
We play it until it's extremely tedious.
As opposed to mildly tedious.
Which is where we're at right now.
Beast Master.
Is there some dumb movie called Mark of the Beast?
You can't play it that way.
You can't have him look up.
Oh, yes, there is, randomly.
Yeah, yeah.
It has to be something that you know is a movie.
Yeah, yeah.
That's part of the challenge. Can we ever be certain of anything?
Really?
I'm pretty sure Beastmaster is the name of the movie.
Okay, so you're out this round.
But you'll have another chance, I'm sure.
Oh, maybe you won't.
Yeah.
Neil, what do you think?
Beast Master of Puppets?
That's an album.
Right, but I...
Seth is going to win this round without doing anything
Simply by being in the room
You got it
Fuck that
That was my catchphrase
I would have said
Beastmaster and Commander
Nice
We have a winner
Wait Full title Master and Commander. Nice. We have a winner.
Wait.
Full title.
Oh, my God.
What do you mean?
What's the full title?
Master and Commander.
Oh.
Then what else does it say in the title? There's no way he gets it.
Right.
There's a parenthetical.
There's no way he's going to get this.
Beast, Master and Commander, like...
Semicolon.
The jerking off of the ship
The guy on guy love
Was it Ghost Protocol?
Master and Commander
Fiddling on a boat
Diddling
The diddling
No, I'm sorry
This round we have
Far side of the world
No one gets a point
It's called the far side of the world
The audience wins that one Yeah no one gets a point. It's called the far side of the world.
The audience wins that one, right?
Yeah, audience gets a point.
You called ingratiating yourself in the crowd.
You understand.
No, I called them toothless. They hate me.
They know they're not toothless.
Raise your hand if you're toothless.
There's one crack addict right over there.
But he looks strong and happy in every other regard.
So he's making it work.
He's probably an extra in the wire.
Probably made a good living for five seasons.
Okay.
Rifa.
Oh, wait.
We'll do the same thing again. We'll start with Megan
because everybody crapped out on that one.
But I would have gone Beauty and the Beast,
Master and Commander.
Yeah.
Rifa. R-E-E-F-A
underscore K.
Who's here today, I think.
Huh?
Why would Kermit the Frog call himself Rifa R-E-E-F-A underscore K. Who's here today, I think. Huh? Huh?
That doesn't mean... Why would Kermit the Frog call himself Rifa?
Rifa said she was going to be here.
The movie suggested by Rifa, also a Baltimore classic, is called Tin Men.
Tin Men.
Yeah.
It's a good movie. What can you do with that, Megan? Tin Man on Tin Man. Yeah, it's a good movie.
What can you do with that, Megan?
Tin Man on the Moon.
Men? It's men?
I can't...
Tin Man. You're out.
It's Man on the Moon, yeah.
You can't pluralize movie titles just out of desire?
Yeah, I'm kind of weird about stuff like that.
Okay.
Hey, but if you were nine years old,
I might let us slide.
Tin Man in Black.
Yeah.
Tin Man in Black.
Nobody can hear you.
No one can hear you.
No one can hear you.
You've abused your microphone too much.
Yeah.
Now it doesn't work.
You'll be the silent guest for the rest of the show.
Here, you know how to do that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Put it in there.
Yeah, it's not so easy, is it?
Harder, harder.
I don't know, my mic is weirdly mad at me now.
I can't blame it.
You're very abusive to your microphone.
What do you got, Seth?
Tin men in black.
Tin men in black.
Tula.
Little blackula. Yeah, blackula. Tin men in Tula. Little Blackula.
Yeah, Blackula.
Tin Men and Blackula.
That would be a good movie.
That was really good.
I was thinking about, what's that Chronicles of Riddick movie?
Something Black?
Pitch Black.
Pitch Black, but that's the Blacks that they attack.
Yeah, yeah.
Totally not worth bringing up.
Not worth bringing up.
I just didn't know if it was the second or third, first word.
Okay.
So we go back to Neil.
Tin men in blackula.
So you need something that begins with la
or ends in tin.
Or Seth is going to take this whole thing down.
Megan's miming something.
I'm trying to feed his brain with my brain. But wait, wait. Megan's miming something.
I'm trying to feed his brain with my brain.
But wait, wait.
Your brain hasn't been able to do this.
But I got something now.
It's a lot easier once you're out.
Then you're like, oh, I got a million of them.
Tin Man in Blackula Bamba. Blackula Bamba.
Black U La La Bamba.
You'd watch that.
Thank you for sitting up front.
That's awesome.
Give us a nice go-to.
Represent. In the room. Back to Seth. Give us a nice go-to. Represent!
In the room!
Back to Seth.
Can we do Tintin?
Yeah.
What? It wasn't just called Tintin.
Yeah, it was.
No, it was called The Adventures of Tintin.
It still works.
But there wasn't such small writing.
You really shouldn't get another try.
I know, I really shouldn't. You did say something.
I did, so that should have been my guess.
You're out. Neil's our winner.
Labambi.
What?
I just took a guess that was so wrong.
Nobody heard it.
La what?
La Bambi?
Yeah.
Bambi!
Where is Bambi?
The forest is on fire.
We can't find Bambi.
Maybe Bambi started the fire
Bomba-bee
Yeah, what would you guys do with Ba?
Bomba
Bottle rocket
Bomb bottle rocket
Yeah, pushing tin
Pushing tin on the other end
Yes, pushing tin on the other end
Because I always pick titles that have, like, you know,
at least one thing you could say on either end that I can think of.
Was Rin Tin Tin a TV show or a movie?
No TV show.
Rin Tin Tin, The Dog to Save Hollywood was a movie
and also wouldn't work in this circumstance.
Right.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, well, that was...
You have a straight-up booger, I'm pretty sure.
What?
Is that a boog?
Yeah, with giant hair. That's a boog. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you have a straight- booger, I'm pretty sure What? Is that a boog? Yeah, with giant hair
That's a boog
Oh yeah
Yeah, you have a straight up booger
Now it's just in your hands
No, it's Baltimore
This is the voice
It's Baltimore, it's fine
You can leave boogers on your neck
Yeah
Baltimore
I don't know the rest of that song, but
I like that you called it a straight up boog
It's a straight up boog
It's not a straight up boog It's a straight up bug. It's not a straight up bug.
You got a bug, boo.
Alright.
The final title there was
Tin Man in Blackula Bomba Bug.
And now,
this is where it really gets serious.
Let's see your name tags, Baltimore.
Holy shit. Holy shit.
Holy shit.
Oh, my God.
These guys fucking come to play.
Even when I was drunk, I remembered this.
Let me see what it is.
You guys are serious.
They are dead.
This is crazy.
Yeah.
I just met them, and this is crazy.
This is an amazing array of name tags.
So each of you, go put your microphone down and go into the audience and select the person you'd like to play for.
Whatever name tag speaks to you the most.
I feel so bad.
Because everyone made such great name tags, but only three people are going to get picked.
I already feel bad.
That's what happens every time.
I pick a woman to make love to?
Is that what happens?
That is kind of amazing.
But you didn't put much effort into it
except you bought pastries.
That was the only effort you put into it.
Seth, put your microphone down
and go pick a name tag.
There's something in a wrapped up box.
He's taking the lid off to show it to you.
It might be a puppy.
American Gigolo album.
He just wrote Maddie on there.
It's pretty creative.
This guy has a sign that just says dong on it.
Heather has a big woot monkey
and a baby on the way.
Oh, yeah, yeah, sure. Toss it.
Someone's got a TJ sign.
Someone's got TJ's head on a stick.
Oh, my God, TJ.
Right there.
Regan Robin, yeah!
But then there's a guy with a weird furry hat
that says Andrew Boyd on it.
Yeah.
I don't know what that means.
And what was the delicious treat over there?
She brought treats with her name on it.
What is it?
Yeah, sure.
We don't deserve it.
We didn't pick you.
It's terrible.
Let me see it.
What is it?
Oh, it's like Apple Turnovers.
And what's your name you wrote on there?
Nikki?
You wrote Nikki over bakery.
Oh, and you have a shithead on the back?
All right, since you brought these,
maybe I'll read your shithead.
We also just got another treat from someone else.
Oh, wow.
What's that?
Some sort of egg or something.
Why is Jennifer Goodwin a shithead?
Do you hate Mormons?
Right?
She's on Big Love?
Okay.
So I'm going to just stomp on that.
Trying to make way.
And Justin from the audience
just contributed to the prize bag
a double DVD of Bloodsport and Time Cop.
Nice.
So we'll put that in there.
We'll put the Jennifer Goodwin is a shithead in there. Whatever that
is. It's like a chocolate egg. Really?
I gotta eat it? Oh my god.
Somebody else is approaching the stage.
What the hell
is this?
I think, I'm pretty sure I know what this is.
This is Omar being interrogated on the wire.
It's a drawing of that, I forget the name of the...
No, I know Omar.
What's the lawyer's name?
Okay.
And then it says gun equals
suitcase or satchel.
I've got the gun, you've got the briefcase.
That's...
You're saying this like you're the one
that handed it to me.
Yeah, that's all you guys do here is watch the wire, right?
But nice work, dude.
Keep it for what?
You think I might need to jerk off later?
Omar.
Oh, I've got the gun.
You've got the suitcase.
I've got the boner.
Oh, okay, there's a bunch of them in there.
Well, let's guess what they are.
This is a fun wire guessing game. Are they all the wire? They're all the same. Oh, they're the same thing? All right, let's guess what they are. This is a fun wire guessing game.
Are they all the wire?
They're all the same.
All right, let's guess what they are.
What is this?
Oh, and there's a note, too, in a nice manila folder.
All right.
I try to tell people, don't bring me stuff,
because it's just, you know,
why does the maid in my hotel room want this shit?
But...
He worked hard on that.
Like a good hour.
He did, but why do I need a bunch of them?
Hand them out. To who?
The people. They want...
That's cool.
But then, where'd he go?
Would that be rude for me to just start
handing them out to people?
Okay.
It was too funny to pass up.
I will keep one of them in your nice note,
and then we'll leave some right here,
and people can just come grab one
if they want
a depiction of Omar on the witness
stand.
Doug,
enclosed are a few original prints depicting
a famous scene from HBO's The Wire.
Seeing as you're in Baltimore, I thought
it was appropriate. Feel free to keep them.
Give them to your guests.
You guys can have them if you want.
Thank you. I wasn't aware.
Don't put this on us.
I'm paying it forward.
Put them in a prize bag. Whatever.
You rock. Keep up the great work.
I'll read his Twitter name because
he did do a good job with the art on that.
It's at dude
exclamation.
Dude exclamation is his name.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know,
you should accept gifts
gracefully, but
it's hard for me to do because
you guys want me to be so
fucking fat.
Bringing me food all the time.
It doesn't even have weed in it.
What's that about?
Oh!
It does?
Oh!
Well, then in that case,
I'm definitely hanging on to that.
God, it's so...
You can't possibly eat this whole thing, right?
What the fuck is it even?
Oh, it's a bunch of brownies.
Shit heads, Jennifer Goodwin. I thought it was like it even? Oh, it's a bunch of brownies.
I thought it was like one big thing,
but it's a bunch of little brownies.
So you could possibly eat the whole thing slowly.
Well, that's going to kick in.
Definitely can taste
the extra magic ingredient.
It doesn't have nuts in it, does it?
I'm allergic to nuts.
Alright, let's see who we're playing for.
Somebody went for the big box.
Seth chose the big box.
Michael, I love that you carried this with you
to the show. Michael, I love that you carried this with you to the show.
God damn it.
Look, cookies.
He's got cookies, a whoopee cushion, a penguin, an Orioles Pez, Captain America, Mr. Bill doll.
What the hell?
Mystic River and Friday Night Lights, the books.
Finally, it came out on book.
I think Mystic River
started as a book.
I know. It's sort of like,
this is now a responsibility
to sit there and read this.
I guess they both started out as books.
Well, thanks for bringing that
box of stuff, Michael.
And then here we got...
Are these laced with anything?
Do the cookies have anything in them?
Straight from Giant.
Is that the name of your dealer?
Right?
That was the one.
Safeway.
It's a surname.
Okay, Neil, who are you playing for?
I'm playing for?
I'm playing for Steve and the black guy in the front.
So it didn't even matter what his name tag was.
I'm playing for black guy. Yeah, yeah.
But it looks like it's a VHS tape of something.
Yeah.
What's on it?
I don't know.
You don't even know?
Some black shit.
I think it's black.
Okay, Steven, thank you for that.
And Megan is playing for Dirt Merchant.
I'm good, thanks.
You know, there were a lot of signs that people put a lot of effort into.
Some great puns dragged me to Mel.
I didn't represent any ladies.
I just went with, like, you know, dirt merchant.
The grimiest sign I could find.
Because it was like a personal neg
to this whole show.
Alright.
You know, people went to some effort, then you
picked that.
It's really not fair.
It's more a reflection of my
own self-esteem. It's kind of a slice of
life, though.
He did it in the car.
He's bragging about it.
Well, what amazing penmanship you have.
Did you wait until you got to a stoplight
to scrawl dirt merchant?
Or was the car moving?
Because that would be impressive.
Did you take this from a homeless guy?
I think so
What's the poster on the other side?
Phantom of the Paradise
In 6D?
What does that even mean?
Do guys in the Phantom of the Paradise
Helmets come out and slap their dick in your face?
Oh man, there were so many dicks
It was at the Autograph Playhouse
Baltimore Rock Opera Society.
Okay.
Well, there you go, Dirt Merchant.
And that's your real name, Dirt Merchant?
Okay.
Let's go with that.
Okay, so Neil won the last game that we played,
so he gets to go first in the Leonard Maltin game.
That means you get to pick a category.
And then where do we go from there?
Which way were we going last time?
Let's go to
Megan.
Just because Seth's
mouth's full of cookie.
This is really good.
I'm starting to peak
right now.
You want cookie?
You're going to get on a train to Philadelphia
with that big box of stuff?
Now I realize it's a responsibility
I have. Just a big
responsibility. I'm going to
just take the stuff I like.
Mr. Buildall, yeah.
Okay,
Neil, let's start with you.
You get to pick from
these three categories.
He's passing cookies out to the audience.
There's a jar full of cookies.
I'm not going to eat all of them.
I may have been drunk, but the last time I do remember
there was a big pizza cookie
and everyone ran up and took part in it.
Hey, Seth, give them the whole fucking thing.
I want some of them.
Just give them all away if you're going to do that.
He handed one to a person in the audience. Just hand out the whole fucking thing. I want some of them. Just give them all away if you're going to do that. He handed one to a person in the audience.
Just hand out the bucket, man.
Anybody?
They only taste a little weird.
There's like a little acidic taste to it.
No one wants it.
Hey, black guy.
Did that really just happen?
Oh, Lord.
One guy in the audience said to another specific person in the audience,
Hey, black guy.
That's also how you get crack in this town.
Hey, black guy.
Anybody else over here? Hey, black guy, Anybody else over here?
Hey, black guy, my drink fell on the floor.
Oh, my God.
It fell on the dirt merchant.
Would you like another beer, Megan?
You good?
I'm good, but I could always be gooder.
I'll take another.
If anyone from the awesome comedy factory is listening,
I would like a vodka and soda,
and she would like another light beer.
Are you good, Neil?
Yeah, I'm good.
And Seth, do you get it?
I'm still rocking this.
All right.
Yeah, you got to wash down those cookies.
Yeah.
Jesus.
Okay.
Which category would you like, Neil?
What would you like?
Prometheus.
That's movies that have a prom in them,
or, suggested by, at I'm Ron Rio,
Needful Strings,
that's movies that have puppets in them,
or, at Dick Cheney420 suggested...
He's here.
Is that him right there?
That's you?
He suggested Baltimore.
That's movies that feature Jay Moore.
Baltimore.
I'm going to go with Baltimore.
Okay. Okay.
Me and Jay Moore were roommates
in the 90s and he once jerked off
into one of my socks.
100% true.
Wouldn't have been so bad
if you weren't wearing it at the time.
Bang.
Are you sure it was only once?
One that you knew of.
Thanks, dude.
Alright, here we go.
You get to pick between two different years.
I'm sorry I keep turning my butt
in the face of a pregnant woman.
Would you like
1997 or 2002?
Let's go 1997.
Alright. People over there are excited about that choice. It was a great year. 1997 or 2002? Let's go 1997.
Alright.
People over there are excited about that choice.
It was a great year.
Oh, that's a year!
That's a year that happened!
Yeah, Denver!
Thank you, thank you.
I'm in the room, yeah!
Three stars from Leonard Maltin for this movie.
Now, you guys, the audience knows not to yell out.
This is just between the three players on stage.
And Neil, he gives it three stars.
It's from 1997.
He calls the movie cute,
and he also calls it barely credible.
So, and three stars.
So Len's all over the map on this one.
And he lists four, five, six, seven, eight names. So how many names do you think you can name this movie in?
Neil B.?
Three.
Three? That's a strong opening name.
Which way did I say we were going to go?
So Megan. Okay, Megan. So you can either say less names or tell them to name it. That's a strong opening Which way did I say we were going to go? Megan
You can either say less names or tell them to name it
Name it
Alright, let me give you your three names
Do you need the clues again?
Cute, barely credible
That's my Twitter bio
Your three names are
Antwony
T-W-O-N-E-Y
Twony
Faith Prince
and Kevin Dunn
Those are people that were in the movie?
Those people that saw it
Husband of Nora Dunn
Kevin Dunn is the husband of Nora Dunn
And he played the dad in all the Transformers movies
The movie was picture perfect
That's correct
He only did two movies
There's no other movie he did that year
I know
Oh you guys are good with years?
Yeah
Jerry Maguire came out in 96, right?
I would have been like,
Holly?
Pluto Nash, maybe?
All right, Neil has a point.
We're playing to two.
And since Megan made him name it,
we're going to start with Seth
and then go towards Megan.
And the categories you could choose from, Seth,
are the following.
King of Pancakes category.
That's the number one movie at the box office
ten years ago to this very day.
Ten years ago to today.
Or a category no one ever, ever, ever wants to pick
called Peggy Sue Got Marleyed in Me.
And that's
films where Kathleen Turner dies.
Somehow
that one never gets chosen.
And then at Fragrant Bleach
suggested
Top Build, and that's movies
that were featured
in tonight's game
of Build a Title.
Already been brought up.
Let's go with that.
And we already, already don't remember.
Yeah.
It's been broughten.
Let's go with that.
All right.
Would you like a movie that had been brought up today from 1982 or 2010?
Oh, interesting.
Let's go
82.
Rarely do people go for the older ones.
That's an interesting one.
That's the only year I was going to see movies.
Two stars from Leonard Maltin.
He calls this movie...
Cute, barely credible.
No, he goes with different words, but a lot
of them give stuff away.
So let's use one of those.
He says...
He says about this movie
that the cinematography
was by John Alcott.
Oh, I totally got it.
I got it, I got it.
And that it was followed by Oh, I totally got it. I got it. I got it.
And that it was followed by several sequels from 1982, two stars, and he lists five names.
How many names do you think you can get it in?
The Zog.
At the Zog on Twitter.
Said with such disdain.
I can get get in three.
That's a strong bid.
Megan?
Wait a second.
She challenged last time. Yeah, okay.
We're doing it right.
Wait, what?
He said three. I know, but I'm just thinking
it had a lot of sequels
and it's been mentioned tonight.
Maybe I could get it in two.
Ooh.
Ah, pretty confident.
Maybe I could get it in two.
Total poker face.
I don't know.
Do it.
Name it in two.
Okay, so you get two names, and the clues, again, are we mentioned it tonight already,
that the cinematography was by John Alcott.
It was followed by several sequels.
And your three names are Rod Loomis,
the great Rod Loomis.
Oh, two names, I'm sorry.
Your two names are Rod Loomis.
Two names.
And John Amos.
That's not John Stamos?
No.
No, it's the white...
It's the opposite of John Stamos.
He's the negative version.
He's the opposite of John Stamos in every possible way.
Neil Williams.
I...
Neil Williams.
I abstain.
Oh, you don't even have a guess?
Remember when we were playing Build a Tidal earlier?
Tin Man had no sequels.
Tin Man had no sequels.
No, it didn't.
All those great Tin Man sequels.
Think of a movie that came up earlier tonight that had sequels.
Shutter Island didn't have any?
Nope.
Beast.
Beast Master.
Beastmaster.
Beastmaster.
That's correct.
Very good.
Very good.
Did someone yell that out?
How the fuck did you get that?
That's crazy.
I remembered the title. She remembered that it was mentioned earlier.
I can remember any of the titles, yeah.
I shouldn't have helped that much,
but it's fun to watch this continue.
So now Megan has a point.
And who challenged her?
Neil? So we'll start with
Seth and go towards Neil.
And Seth gets to pick again.
Nice job that last time.
What would you
like to play this time? Would you like
natal attraction?
That's movies where somebody has
a baby.
Could be right now.
Me Love You Wrong Time? That's movies
that have travel,
like time travel, and they're
romantic.
Me Love You Wrong Time?
Or at Gary's romantic. Me love you wrong time. Or
at Gary's
A Comic suggested
five word review.
That's a movie where Leonard Bolton only used
five words
to review it.
Which one of those do you like?
I'm gonna go with
Song It Up!
That is a great movie.
I'm going to go with the first one, the baby one.
Natal Attraction.
Natal Attraction.
The year, you don't get to pick.
It's only one movie.
The year is from 2000.
The year is 2007.
It's not from 2007.
The movie is from 2007.
Three stars from Leonard.
He says about this movie that it
is
sweet.
It's sweet.
And he also says
numerous celebrities appear as themselves.
And there
are
12 names. How many names
Seth?
Give me four names.
Wow, you guys are competitive.
I like it.
I want this so bad.
That's what she said.
You are playing for the only black person here.
I know.
Reparations!
I'm playing for a guy
who just cleaned out his house.
And Megan is playing for
a dirt merchant.
So we all know where we want
this to go. Do you give any good
names or no? Are they all just sort of
people with no... Oh, you can't
ask those sort of things, but
he's going to say four.
He thinks he can get it at four names.
No, well, that's what I'm saying.
Reading from the bottom.
Oh, reading from the bottom.
Now you're getting it.
Three names.
Three, he says.
Damn!
Name it. Okay, he gets three names
You don't have to be a bitch about it
Name it
Name it
This is for the win
And
I'm not even going to give you the clues again
Can black dude help me
I'm that confident in you
Is that a rhetorical question
Somebody gives birth in this movie.
It's from 2007. And your three names
are Bill Hader.
Wait.
Or is it Haber? It says Haber.
Bill Haber.
Whoever that is.
Kristen Wiig.
That's definitely Haber.
That's definitely Kristen Wiig.
That's definitely Kristen Wiig. Two I's.
And former guest on the show,
possible future guest on the show,
Alan Tudyk.
Good old Tudyks is back.
Gotta love Tudyks.
Someone gives birth
in 2007.
Kristen Wiig and Alan Tudyk.
And Haydn.
People in the audience know it. I can hear grumblings
and rumblings.
I don't want to cheat.
But Black Eyed cannot help me.
Megan challenged you.
Name it.
Yeah, so Megan could win
for Dirt Merchant if you can't name
a 2007 movie where somebody gives birth.
Everyone's going, people are yelling
at their devices that are listening to this
right now.
Everyone's going insane.
Do you know what it is? People are going mad.
I have an idea.
Fuck.
I want to say... Say it.
I want to say death at a funeral.
Can I guess?
I know Alan Tudyk was in that, and I know that's wrong.
Can I guess?
You can go ahead and guess.
Is it baby mama?
No.
Do you have a guess?
The whole audience knows what it is.
Their seeds were together, Kristen Wiig and Ellen Tudyk,
because they worked at E! Entertainment Television
and they were telling Katherine Heigl
to lose some fucking weight
and then she got pregnant.
It's called Knocked Up!
Megan is a weaver!
Dirt merchant.
That funky merchant.
Dirt merchant. That funky merchant. Dirt merchant.
Oh, love.
That's Baltimore pride right there.
Love, love, love.
It's so weird.
I was playing to lose.
Now, Stephen, you do get to name.
You didn't write a shithead on the back of your tape, did you?
No, so here, write down on this piece of paper
anywhere you want. Just write down someone for me to call a shithead.
And where's Michael?
Did you write one down on there?
So come over here and use Stephen's table
there to write something down.
Wait, so this is the second part of the game?
It's all over, man.
You were great at it.
And you'll be back. We'll do it again.
Hey, thanks, man. It's a very hard game
But everyone knew it was knocked up
I don't think like knocked up
Oh Alan Tudyk I didn't even remember he was in it
Those are great scenes
Yeah
Kristen Wiig was so good in that
That's when Judd Apatow said you should make a whole movie
Seth anything to plug
This is going to come out next Friday.
Anything after that?
Always watch Jimmy Fallon for you
cuddling with people.
I'm doing a lot of characters on the Fallon show.
I'm actually doing a show in Montauk
on July 3rd
if anyone's going to be out on the East End.
Yeah, yeah.
Can I give Black Dude the gift?
Can I give Black Dude the gift I brought? Can I give Black Dude the gift I brought?
Or does it have to go to Dirt Merchant?
Dirt Merchant wins all the stuff.
Yeah, that's how it works.
But maybe he'd like something out of Seth's box.
You want to give him something?
Well, there's a lot of books here
because I forgot this is the city that reads.
But a lot of times...
I just remembered that.
Okay, those are good.
Yeah, they
get to make me call somebody
a shithead, so it's a pretty good consolation prize.
So I'm sure he's very happy
about that. And
Neil, where are you going to be playing? Anywhere?
Or what's your website?
What's your website?
You can listen to the Champs podcast on iTunes.
It's fun.
Yeah.
And Megan, what do you got coming up?
Well, a week previous to next week when this comes out,
I was on it now.
Very nice.
You can follow me on Twitter
at Megan Nuringer.
Yeah, that's
at Megan Nuringer.
I'm not going to say.com because I know how Twitter works.
At Megan Nuringer. Mic drop.
That's your hole.
And I've got shows this month
in Los Angeles, Virginia Beach, Tulsa,
Denver, and Oklahoma City. Go to
DouglasMovies.com for more info.
Thank you to all my guests.
Thank you to Baltimore.
Where's Dirt Merchant at?
There you are.
There's your bag of shit.
Enjoy that bag of crap.
And thanks again, you guys.
I'll come back and do this Thanks again, you guys.
I'll come back and do this as long as you guys keep showing up like this.
Great house. Amazing, amazing house.
You guys were great.
Again, if you want to come to the 7 or 9.30,
they're going to give you a ticket on the way out.
Come back and see them tonight.
I'm going to hang out for pictures and stuff
if you guys want to do that.
I'm going to get a picture of you guys
before you leave the stage
holding your name tags if possible. We only went two minutes over. for pictures and stuff if you guys want to do that. I'm going to get a picture of you guys before you leave the stage,
holding your name tags if possible.
And we only went two minutes over.
I'm so proud of myself.
As always, Michael Jai White is a shithead.
It's hilarious.
And Jim Jeffries and Eddie Ifs. Hit it.
Thanks, you guys. For you, the, the, the movies