Doug Loves Movies - Ngaio Bealum, Amy Miller, Carlos Rodriguez and Jacob "Too Far" Sirof guest
Episode Date: June 11, 2017Live from Cobb's Comedy Club in San Francisco, Doug welcomes Ngaio Bealum, Amy Miller, Carlos Rodriguez and Jacob Sirof to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and Calif...ornia Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Enjoy the show!
For you, cause Doug loves booing.
Doug hates candy wraps.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
He's a focus, you and Crow is makes him foggy.
There's no room in his heart for you.
Because Doug loves boobies.
Doug. I wish I could do the whole show backwards
but I just cannot get it together for that
plus how could I read the shitheads first
I can just guess who they are I guess
oh shit
hey hey hey everybody
my name is Doug and I love movies
this is Doug Loves Movies.
Wow, there's a particularly aggressive one in there.
Kind of sounds like the ghost of Bill Paxton.
I love Bill Paxton.
This is Doug Loves Movies, man!
Coming to you once again from Cobb's Comedy Club in San Francisco!
Yay!
It's Saturday, June 10th, 2017.
And this is our 37th show this year.
And it's 146 days till Ragnarok.
And I've got a thirst for name tags. What's the name tag deal with you guys today?
There's a lot of them, isn't there?
Oh my goodness.
Bill and Ted.
Bill and Ted's what?
Bill and Ted.
Oh, Phil and Ted.
You're Phil?
I'm Phil.
Hey, Phil.
Hey, Bill and Ted.
You're so excited.
How are you, bro?
I was backstage saying,
I think there's gonna be some overly excited people here today.
See, I knew that guy was going to be overly excited.
I knew they were out here today.
It's always interesting when that happens.
Grudge Matt is a huge one.
And you got a big Burt Kreischer face on there.
So let's just...
Great job with the name tags, everybody.
I just want to get
right to something because I don't want to take a lot of time with it. But Bert Kreischer's
headlining, Cobbs, the very club we're in all this weekend long. And I came by last
night and his show was really fun. But his family's with him here in San Francisco. And
so he told me that he was unable to be a guest on the show today
yeah I just wanted to get that out there because I saw a bird's name on that his
face on that this big huge face on that name tag I mean that huge name tag with
birds face on it and and I was like oh okay well you know people are going to
be disappointed that birds not here because that's how it works
a lot of the time, is you figure it out.
You're a bunch of guest detectives.
You're a bunch of
guest dicks, and you figure out
or you think you figure out
who's going to be here. So let's just call
Bert on the phone, though, and just say hi to him.
I don't rarely try this sort of thing
on the podcast because I'm terrible at it
and it's not working out at all.
But in the case
of Bert, I think we needed to make an exception.
Is anybody coming back to see his shows later
tonight?
See, that's another reason why there's an extra
amount of enthusiasm in here today.
And I don't want to be sad about it, so let's check in with Bert.
Hello.
Hey, Bert.
Yeah, what's up, buddy?
My name is Doug, and I love movies? My name is Doug and I love movies.
This is Douglas movie!
Hey, so what hellhole tourist trap are you stuck in right now?
I'm at the bar at the Argonaut.
Oh, that sounds all right.
Where are the kids?
Sitting with me.
And your wife?
That's not how it works, you guys.
Sorry, we had a bunch of premature my wifers in the house.
We had a beautiful day.
We went to a Giants game.
We had dinner.
We had breakfast over at Sears.
And I've walked 16,000 steps today.
With a child on each shoulder?
No.
So we just wanted to touch base with you
because a lot of people are disappointed
that you aren't a guest on the show today,
but a lot of those same people
are going to come see you
tonight here at Cobb's
and they'll scream and yell shit at you
like they've been doing with me.
Well, if you're sitting in the top deck
with a box of donuts, I'll be excited.
Alright, I
guess I could do that.
Alright, buddy.
Thanks. Have fun out there.
We'll see you at the club later tonight.
Alright. I love you guys.
I love you, Doug. I'll talk to you guys later.
Okay. Bye-bye.
There he goes.
Dirk Kreischer on the phone.
I feel like I'm hosting a real show
when I did pull something like that off.
He actually answered. It worked out great. I didn't need to hosting a real show when I did pull something like that off. He actually answered, you know?
It worked out great.
I didn't need to have a screener involved.
Yeah, fantastic.
I should have told him my plugs
while I had him on the phone.
Tomorrow, I think there's a few tickets left.
I don't know if it's sold out yet or not,
but I'm going to be over at the Punchline
doing stand-up at 420.
You guys coming to that, too? Holy stand up uh at 4 20. you guys coming to
that too holy it's comedy weekend for you guys that's kind of interesting alternating
between bert and doug like are you also uh using each of our drug of choice are you just drinking
when you go to see bert and getting high when you come see me, plus a little vodka.
Bert and I drink the same thing,
so that's why I find it funny that he doesn't do as much weed as I do.
He doesn't do weed at all,
just in case his children are listening.
He's probably forcing them to listen
to episodes of podcasts
while sitting in the Argonaut bar.
I wonder if either of his kids asked him
what an Argonaut was, if he would know.
Because I'm not sure.
I mean, I don't know Argonauts
unless they're with Jason, right?
Because I love movies.
So yeah, so that's tomorrow.
Don't forget your name tags tomorrow
if you want to play Last Man Stanton
Tuesday
Douglas Movies is back
at UCB Franklin
in Los Angeles
at 930
Wednesday
I'm doing stand up
at the American Comedy Company
in San Diego
and next weekend
I'll be in Boston
for two Douglas Movies tapings
at Laugh Boston
Saturday sold out
but Sunday
Father's Day
plenty of seats.
People just want to stay home with Dad.
IFC is doing a thing that I kind of wish I didn't have a show that afternoon,
because IFC is just going to do a marathon of the first three Die Hard movies on Father's Day.
So that would be a perfect way to spend that day.
Oh, and San Francisco,
one more thing for you guys.
I'm going to be doing something very exciting.
If you follow my career and what I do in San Francisco,
I think you have an idea that this is coming.
But it's happening, I think, pretty sure, on August 26th at 4.20.
So mark your calendars now.
And for all my dates and deets,
always go to DougLovesmovies.com.
That's Douglovesmovies.com!
That's Douglovesmovies.com!
That's like getting laughed in a race.
Why don't you just sit down?
Why do you still keep running around?
I'm going to be my own personal best.
Last time I yelled in the car on the way home.
This time we got a lot closer.
Yeah, your best wasn't good enough.
So, look at this.
This is a chunky prize bag
that I brought all the way from Southern California
to this part of California.
And it's in a bag from my friends at the At Midnight show.
They give you a nice tote bag every time you're on the show.
And, you know, I've got 17 of them laying around the house.
So I might as well use it for the prizes today.
From our friends at Pax,
they stopped by
and said, Doug, will you put this
in the prize bag? And I was like, yes, I will.
Two different types of Pax.
Brand new Paxes. The Pax 3
and the Pax
ERA.
Or ERA.
This one's fun because you charge it by just shaking it back and forth,
and then a little green light comes on.
Green light, get it?
And then you're ready to go.
It's a lot of fun.
Speaking of a lot of fun, look at this little fella in the prize bag.
It's Bullseye!
Bullseye!
This is another thing I've never tried before as a puppet act. Hey Bullseye, how's it going?
Pretty good, pretty good!
Now you don't talk in the toy store movies.
No, because I sound like this! People hate it!
Okay, that makes a lot of sense.
Okay, that makes a lot of sense.
Somebody said they can see your lips moving, Bullseye.
My lips don't move at all, he's stupid!
Alright, so... Oh my God.
We have a paramedic on set of I'm Getting Doug With High,
but not at Douglas Movies, dude.
You're going to have to get through this.
So anyway, Bullseye,
I won you at the California,
Disney California Adventure the other day
and one of those carnival games.
And so I was like,
that would be a perfect thing
to put in the prize bag somewhere.
So he's in the prize bag.
Also, one of these cool ashtrays
it promotes. I'm dying up here on
Showtime. Yeah, old school
ashtrays, man. They're perfect
for weed stuff.
A copy of my
CD. A t-shirt that
says, uh,
what the fuck does it say?
It's real cute. When I first saw it, I thought it was Groot,
but it's not Groot. It's just a. When I first saw it, I thought it was Groot, but it's not Groot.
It's just a talking broccoli. And it says greens.
All day, every day.
So somebody gave me that, obviously, because it's fun to say greens, but then have a picture of broccoli.
And then, you know,
it's never too early for Christmas stuff.
For our friends at Peacemaker,
it's a holiday bong.
Maybe we can test drive it out on Columbus after the show.
So that's all the stuff I brought, plus my guests brought stuff.
And as you can see, there's four chairs up here,
which means four of my hilarious friends are here and ready to be on the show.
And they've all done the show before.
And you know them, you love them. Please give a big, warm welcome to Amy Miller, Carlos Rodriguez,
N'Gayo Bile, and Jacob Syrah!
Hi!
How you guys doing? I see some donuts.
I see donuts.
Yes, those are donuts.
Bullseye loves donuts.
Bullseye can have a donut.
They're from Donut Madness in Sacramento on Watt Boulevard.
Go.
All right.
They're great donuts.
Yeah.
Sacramento, city of trees and donuts.
Nine One Sickness.
Nine One Sickness. Nine One Sickness.
Nine One Sizzle.
You feel me?
Let's meet my guests individually,
starting with the lady on the panel.
It's Amy Miller, everybody.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Yes.
Hi, Doug.
Hey, how's it going?
Good. I'm excited. I, how's it going? Good.
I'm excited.
I've never done this show in my hometown.
Yeah, you grew up in Oakland.
Yep.
So the Bay Area is your home.
Yep.
This is one of my home clubs, Cops.
I'm excited about it.
Yeah, that's...
I mean, you don't have to be.
That's working out cool.
For everybody concerned, I was happy to hear that you'd be in the neighborhood.
You did a show in San Francisco last night?
Yes, two shows last night.
How'd that go?
Great. So fun. Told some jokes. People loved it.
Well, speaking of fun, also joining us today...
Thanks, Doug.
We're done, we're done.
You get to stay for the whole thing, you know.
I don't go too in-depth at this point.
Carlos Rodriguez is back, everybody.
What?
Wow.
That killed in Sacramento
the first time we heard him do it.
It's going to get thin quick, though.
But I say stick with it.
It's like for me in the old Borat voice,
I'm never going to give it up
just because it gets so much more irritating
the longer you do it.
But I also kind of learned to do it from you.
I've done it every once in a while.
But mine doesn't sound as good as yours,
but I think it's funny also.
Because I just go,
Fwah, fwah, fwah!
Yours has kind of an Asian tilt.
Well, but if you weren't looking at me,
you might not say that.
But the point is...
You've sat this close to the show before and haven't laughed like that before.
Like, are you on something special?
Oh, no, it's not.
Oh, okay, it's the guy next to you that's doing that.
I kept looking at you.
Because you're making a laugh face, but there's no sound coming out.
And I was like,
did he get surgery
or something?
Because he's been
in the front row before
and I don't remember
this laugh.
But this other gentleman
has got the laugh.
What's your name, dude?
Matt.
Matt.
All right.
Well, I hope we're getting
this on the recording
because it's really
entertaining everybody here.
And I'm glad
Bert Kreischer's not here
because the two of you would just laugh
at each other for 90 minutes.
Nothing would get accomplished.
Like a baby YouTube video
or some shit.
Just giggling back and forth.
Also here today.
Thanks, Doug.
You also get to stay.
Of course, Carlos is a Sacramento comedy phenom,
and he's here all weekend doing shows with Bert Kreischer,
so you can see him tonight if you come back and see Bert.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Definitely.
Fwa, fwa, fwa.
Yes, I tried to give
kind of a sophisticated spin on it
because always, always dressing for the show,
always in a jacket.
It's Ngayo Bila, everybody.
Ahooga!
Ahooga!
Ahooga!
I'm trying to work on it.
The air horn.
I don't know.
That's kind of why
they all run for cover.
Yeah, you can't do that.
He's in a suit, but he might have a gun.
He's in heat.
Great place to put a gun is a suit.
Crazy on the golf course.
Great place to hide your weed.
Pockets are good.
Pockets are great.
Check them all.
My purse is cleverly
What?
I said my purse
is cleverly disguised
as a sport coat.
I've said that same thing,
but all different words.
Have you...
Have you got something
in addition to the donuts
for the prize bag?
I do.
Are we supposed to throw the donuts? I'm just confused by the donuts. I think we'll to the donuts for the prize bag? I do. Are we supposed to throw the donuts?
I'm just confused by the donuts.
I think we'll put the donuts in the prize bag
so you can eat them or throw them
or eat a couple and then throw a few later.
But then I also brought a container,
just a regular container.
We're not really at that part yet.
I just couldn't stop thinking about the donuts.
Do you want to look at the donuts?
And I also felt like if I didn't talk to you long enough,
you'd say, thank you, Doug,
after I was trying to move on to introducing the final guest.
Well, thank you, Doug, for taking extra time with me.
I appreciate it.
But you're so slow and gentle.
I saw him on a name tag on the internet today already.
It's Jacob Searoff.
San Francisco, third generation San Francisco native, Jacob Serra.
Lincoln High School, class of 93 if I didn't drop out.
So this is really like a straight up California, because I grew up in San Francisco.
I live in Sacramento.
You're from Sacramento.
You're from Oakland.
You're from Fremont or whatever.
San Francisco, California.
Sure.
What high school?
Name three of their albums if you're from San Francisco.
The three that Jefferson Airplay did.
I'm from San Diego.
West Coast representing.
Yeah, kill a cat.
But you did Doug's.
It's spreading through the audience.
So I'm really mad Bert's not here.
Why?
Because I've never done a show with Bert,
and he's fucking here, and he's not here,
and it's fucking lame.
I just feel like one of these people
should take their shirts off.
I think they need more alcohol
if you and Bert are in the same room.
It's not going to be me.
Sorry, everyone.
You're volunteering to keep your clothes on?
Yes.
Then never mind.
Just this once. Just this once.
Just this once.
It was the first time for everything.
Yeah.
I knew someday the crowd was going to be disappointed that this was the show where you weren't.
Take your shirt off.
Amy, what do you have for the prize bag, if don't mind me asking I brought two excellent items, Doug
I'm so glad you asked
Thanks, Doug
Okay, I've been staying
Thanks, Doug
I've been staying at my sister's house in Oakland
and she has multiple shelves of self-help books
She's still a bitch
which is weird
But this is one I brought She's still a bitch, which is weird.
But this is one I brought.
The Secret Language of Relationships.
And you can look up your birthday and your partner's birthday and see if you're compatible.
That's pretty fun.
Secret language.
Is it written in Esperanto?
And then, I brought an Adam West Batman figure.
Whoa.
Pretty good.
I'll trade my donuts for that.
Can you pass that down?
Nice.
Well, that's very nice of you
to do that. I knew that he'd get
weaved into the conversation today somehow.
And, you know, it's another big one we lost, Adam West.
I woke up to that this morning.
And I was watching in my hotel room, there's IFC, and I was watching Kick-Ass.
And just marveling at Nicolas Cage's Adam West voice that he does whenever he's got the mask on in that movie.
And then I look at my Twitter
and Adam West is dead, so now I can't watch
TV anymore. Oh, you feel like you caused it?
Yeah, I think I caused it.
It's all your fault whenever an 88-year-old man
dies, Douglas.
Damn you!
In his prime!
That's really more of a Bane voice.
Right.
I wasn't trying to do an impression of him.
I wasn't doing an impression, old chum.
But yeah, he's great.
Jeff Garland does a great Adam West impression.
So I'm sure he's driving people crazy with it today.
Pow. I'm West impression. So I'm sure he's driving people crazy with it today. Pow!
I also tried to pull a real white lady move
at Dr. Comics and Mr. Gaines in Oakland.
Have you guys been there?
And casually mention,
I might mention you on Doug Loves Movies.
Maybe this isn't full price anymore.
I was trying to get a discount on your good name. How'd it go? It't full price anymore. I was trying to get a discount
on your good name.
How'd it go?
It was full price.
I got half price on the donuts.
Did they know what it was even?
Or were they baffled by all of it?
No, he totally knew what it was.
And also go to Dr. Comics and Mr. Games.
It's a great shop.
Okay.
But don't expect a deal.
No. Not on Doug's a great show. Okay. But don't expect a deal.
No.
Not on Doug's name.
No.
Try to mention Amy Miller.
See if that... Yeah, don't use the coupon code
DouglasMovies.
Carlos, what do you got?
It looks cool to me from here.
So, last year,
I got invited to Six Flags
to be the first to ride the Joker
roller coaster.
Oh, yes.
Yeah, because we're comedians.
So they,
we'll put the joke on.
And so they're like,
and they gave me
a lunchbox
and I was like,
that's cool.
And they filled it
with cool shit
and it was still
in my trunk
from last year.
So I said,
fuck it.
So it has a comic book
in it.
That's what it's
all about.
It's all additions. Yeah. comic book in it. That's a condition. All conditions.
Yeah.
If you like your comic books mangled, it's perfect.
Did you say manga?
Mangled.
And then also they gave me Joker gloves.
But the cool shit about these Joker gloves is these little fingertips are black,
so you can swipe on your iPhone.
It works.
Just like the Joker.
Yeah, it does. So I thought that was pretty cool. He's always swiping on your iPhone. It works. Just like the Joker. Yeah, yeah.
So I thought that was pretty cool.
He's always swiping on his iPhone
while he's
plotting scams against...
And then this is
the coolest part.
I also threw in,
I said, fuck it.
I had a girlfriend
and I had one
and then we, you know,
she gave me...
He said, fuck it.
Yeah, yeah.
But she dumped me
and then I was like,
well, fuck,
I don't want nothing
that she gives me
because in her mind
I'm going to cry and shit.
But she got me a fire stick so was like, well, fuck, I don't want nothing that she gives me, because then I'm going to have to get out and cry and shit. But she got me a Fire Stick, so fuck her,
and you guys can have it.
Jesus Christ!
Dude, you guys have, like, the coolest gifts.
What's a Fire Stick?
Amazon Fire Stick, you could put, like...
It's like Roku.
Yeah, and, like, an Apple TV.
Really?
Yeah, you could... I love it's like Roku. Yeah, and like an Apple TV. Really? Really? Yeah.
I love it's like Roku,
because I feel like a five-year-old,
well, what's Roku?
It's a Japanese.
Just keep going around and around and around with that.
Well, pass that box on down.
I love it.
That's a terrific contribution. Is this ride any good?
Horrible.
It's not a good ride?
It's a joke.
Nah, he said drink and drive,
so that's way funner,
but the roller coaster.
The most Mexican thing
ever said on Douglas movies.
It's more funner.
It's more funner, eh?
It's more funner, wait.
Pero, pero, you drank last?
Tu la pero?
It's more funner anyways.
Looks like a fun ride to me.
On the box.
Yeah, it's true.
Lunchbox made me lie.
What do you got for us, Zungayo?
I brought donuts
and a marijuana container
from Chameleon Glass.
American-made pipes
in Arizona.
If you use Zungayo for 20,
you get 10% off.
Oh, and there's weed in here.
We'll see about that.
I could put more in it if you
No no I just wanted to
It seems light
What is it?
What's it called?
Summer mix of shit
I had in the car
So it's probably
Some Placerville train wreck
And then
I think there's some
Mendo breath
And some Grateful breath
In there
Some 1986 shit
No no
It's all very recent.
You know,
you roll a joint
and you got a nug
and you just put it
in the medley box.
That's it.
Right?
If we're for a
tasting menu,
summer medley
of fall greens
wrapped in a
hemp paper
and served
in fire.
12.50.
You should have
like a, instead of a key
party, just have a bowl near the door
and everybody throws a few nugs
in on their way in and then take a few
on your way out. Need a nug, have a nug,
have a nug, leave a nug.
I'm going to take a nug from this
right now and put it into my pipe.
Are we smoking? It's going to be
not on stage.
That's my kind of party, though.
No, still not doing that really.
It's because of all this alcohol that everybody has to have.
It's because of all the alcohol, we can't smoke weed.
Yeah, those are the rules everywhere.
Come to my house.
If you sell alcohol, you can't also smoke weed in the place.
But we'll get through
these difficult times.
You know, if everybody's right about climate
change and stuff, California's gonna sink
and we're just gonna all be living on boats anyway.
Yeah, get off of my boat, cop.
I'm gonna smoke all the weed I want on my boat.
Bro, it's international waters.
I think President Pence
is gonna hook us up.
Alright, we've gotten too political i know this is this crowd's got all types what
boats and hoes i think he said boats and hoes i think that's what i want them to have said
That's what I want them to have said.
It's like a Jay-Z video just happened in my mind.
Boats and hoes and boats and hoes.
Poor hoes.
They were just regular girls
until they got on a boat.
It's not fair.
It's not right that they would
suddenly become a boat hoe.
If you want to get champagne poured on you, that's what you got to do. It's better than being a boat hoe. If you want to get champagne
poured on you, that's what you gotta do.
It's better than being a bus hoe.
As a bus hoe, I beg to differ.
I don't know. Someone to be with you on the bus
is pretty down, though.
I'm sorry. It's just, I don't know.
It's true, though.
If you love me with a bus pass, it's happening. I'm sorry. It's just, I don't remember my head. It's true, though. That's true. That's science.
If you love me with a bus pass, it's a happening.
Buses are more funner than boats.
What's going on down there, Jacob?
You digging around in the bag? Yeah, I figured it was my turn soon.
Yeah, sure. I was just prepping. Let's find out what you brought.
Basically, for the bit.
Okay, so I feel like the last...
I did Houston and San Antonio with you, and I
feel like I was really... My prize bag game was kind of weak, so I feel like I did Houston and San Antonio with you, and I feel like my prize bag game was kind of weak.
So I actually went out and spent some money just for the prize bag.
Yeah, I went to Two Cats comic book store, West Portal, here in San Francisco.
A comic book store run by lesbians, apparently.
Two Cats, it's called.
And I got this comic book.
You know, a lot of comic book stores have like a 99 cent spin.
I don't know if you can see the price tag here.
I went for the $999
and 99 cent spin because that's how much
I care about the show.
These are $1000 comics that I just bought.
This is the Watchmen,
before Watchmen. I'm a big Watchmen guy.
This is the Comedian because
you know, we're comedians.
That was kind of clever.
How many of these are there?
Just two.
This is a comic book called Sex, which I've never heard of, but it's got a guy with a That was kind of clever How many of these are there? Just two I got just two
Just two
And then there's this comic book
Called Sex
Which I've never heard of
But it's got a guy
With a gun for a dick
On the cover
And I thought that was pretty cool
Gun dick, yeah
I looked inside
There was
It's very violent
And very sexy
But there's like a guy
Getting a rim job
From a girl
On one of the pages
But it's like
Really cartoonish drawings
So that's interesting
Are the pages
A little sticky now?
No, I mean, you won't...
I don't...
No.
Not so you'd notice.
But I also got this...
I didn't get this from the comic book store,
but this used to be, I don't know,
this used to be an Italian neighborhood.
I guess it still is, kind of.
And so I got this book that's called
Merda, The Real Italian You Were Never Taught in School.
And it's like a book about how to swear and stuff in Italian.
So it's kind of like a low...
I thought it was a geographically specific contribution.
It looks like it could have a lot of swear words in it.
I earmarked a few choices.
You think you can cover all the swear words in a pamphlet?
No.
It's a full book of that shit.
Yeah, they got, like, I bookmarked a few pages for you.
That book is literally called Shit.
Yeah, Merda.
Shit.
But there's, like, 18 different ways is literally called Shit. Yeah, Merida. Shit.
But there's like 18 different ways
that Italians call
penises,
things and stuff.
All right,
well bring that stuff,
bring that Merida over here.
Yeah.
We'll throw that Merida
right in the back.
Looking at the man
in the Merida.
Wow.
You're looking at a shit man?
The man in the shit. The man in the shit Oh I like that
Man in the shit
I got one quick question for you guys
Before we get to the game portion of the show
And that is
Which are you right or left handed
Thank you and Gaio
Different question for Carlos
What
What was the last movie you saw
today I went and seen the mummy
you went and seen the mummy today
I went and seen the mummy just a minute ago
and how did that work out for you
it is it's it's I
it's just I
it's just I I mean like I didn't go in there expecting
Spielberg shit so I was like alright cool
but it's a it's just like you know Tom Cruise ego boost because the mummy just wants Tom Cruise really bad.
She chose him.
That hot, maybe mummy lady just wants to fuck Tom Cruise?
Yeah, yeah, she chose him and she wants to be with him and whatnot.
And it's like, eh, it's eh.
But it's like, it's cool.
I mean, cool because it's supposed to link up with all the other movies, right?
The Dark Universe.
It links up with Godzilla, King Kong, and Invisible Man.
What the fuck, man?
The Greek Avenger is another one.
That's my moment.
That was a lot of plates.
I was about to do a spoiler, so I think that's what happened.
I have to call Carlos out at this point.
You gave it a way better review upstairs in the green room, dude.
You told me you loved it.
No, I didn't say I loved it.
You said it was fun.
What's the big deal?
And now you're like,
about how I was doing the show last night.
I do remember that.
You were like,
what's with all the hate on the mummy?
And then you're out here
spreading hate on the mummy.
God damn lies.
Just say you love it.
Yeah, I loved it.
It was good, actually.
It was very, very good.
It murdered.
The mummy murdered.
I'm good at drawing people out.
Yeah.
This prize bag only counts.
It's like three bags and a box and a lunch box.
It's really like a prize package.
That laugh, man.
What do you do for a living?
Stand-up comedy?
What?
So, do you...
He's homeless?
In the Bay Area?
Oh, shit.
Like Walnut Creek stand-up comedy?
Keep your day job... Low-dive.
Low-dive.
Keep your day job as a homeless person.
Stuck in low-dive again.
Dang, dude.
Came here all in grey hair.
Just about to go home.
All right, I'm sorry I talked to you.
Amy, what was the last movie you saw?
Baywatch.
And? Loved. Woo! And?
Loved it. You did? Yeah.
Yes, but it was conditional.
You know? I saw it
in Tucson, Arizona
at like a lay down.
They like ripped off the Outlaw Draft House there
but they had recliners and then I was like
drinking wine and it was great.
I loved it. It was the afternoon before my
shows and I mean, there's a lot great. I loved it. It was the afternoon before my shows and
I mean, there's a lot
of hot dudes in it.
I love The Rock.
I'm not very smart, Doug.
I mean, if you know
and expected to see The Rock and Zac
Efron in a Baywatch spoof, it does
exactly what it's supposed to do. Yeah, it was really
fun. I don't know, I just enjoyed myself.
But also because I was in Tucson,
like, that movie was getting real laughs in Tucson.
It fucking crushed in Tucson, Arizona.
There was like a 65-year-old lady next to me just laughing at every joke.
And I was like, oh, this is what it's like to just enjoy your life.
And not be like, this isn't well-written,
or this comedy's bullshit, and I know more.
Like, you can just enjoy yourself and live in Arizona.
You could enjoy your life so much
that you'd want to be spending it
doing something other than watching Baywatch.
You know, like, I was just kind of antsy
through the whole thing. It just felt like
you know, the set pieces went on
for a little, like the guy's dick is caught in the lounge
for too long. That was really dumb and I
didn't enjoy that part of it.
But I'm happy for that guy,
whoever he is, for getting, you know.
But I'm not here to pick apart the
Citizen Kane of Lifeguard movies.
Because that's pretty
much what it is. It is the gold
standard up to this
point. I'm going to say Back to the Beach on that.
Really? Yeah. I liked
Lifeguard with Sam Elliott.
I've never seen that. Bafe, it's what's for dinner.
So, uh...
Did he even do that one?
Was that Sam Elliott?
You're the one who would know
Probably
Alright quick round of
IMDB games
Sam Elliott
Can anybody name a Sam Elliott movie?
Big Bad Movie
Roadhouse
The Mask
The mask yeah
He's been in a few
He's been in some good ones
Jacob
Last movie
Wonder Woman
Here we go
One of those men only screenings
That's so popular
That movement died quickly
According to the applause I got.
What? The whole Wonder Woman empowerment thing
that seemed like it was sweeping the nation. Now it's just like...
The mummy's more funner.
It's poised to...
No, it's poised to beat the mummy this weekend
at the box office. I hope it does.
We've talked about it a little bit.
I thought...
I like it. I think it's not as good as people are acting like it is.
But it was a fun movie,
and the fighting was really cool,
and she's like instantly, you know, dethrones Natalie Portman
as the hottest Jew chick alive.
That's what the most important message of the movie is.
That's what I took away from it.
I thought that's...
Maybe it's not for you.
Really?
Like as a Jewish man?
Half of that.
The Jew part.
Yeah, I don't know. I took my kids
and they liked it.
I could have done without
her having a man helping her
a lot and falling in love
with him and all that shit.
Yeah, I mean...
She was just independent because she came from an island
of women. But she kind of Han Solo'd it because
he said he loved her, but she never said that back.
She doesn't say it back? She doesn't say it back.
Does she throw up one of her wrists and it shoots back
in his face? Yeah, she's like...
I love you.
She used those to deflect
come-ons and bars.
Hey, can I buy a...
We could all use some of those. use those to deflect come-ons and bars. Man. Hey, can I buy a... Hey!
We could all use
some of those.
I like how she sort of
just sort of discovers
she has those things
like it's a,
you know,
the day you learn
to masturbate or something.
The way she's like,
or like Spider-Man,
I guess.
There was a lot of
wrist work involved
that day also.
Yeah, yeah.
But she's just sort of like,
oh, this is crazy
what my wrists can do.
And in a few situations,
I'm like,
go to the wrist thing.
She kind of holds back on it.
I would always be doing that
if I were her.
The wrist, nonstop.
And why do they have
a lasso of truth
that the island's all women
and they all trust
and love each other?
Why'd they even invent that thing?
In case a man
fell out of the clouds?
Exactly.
Yeah, I think so.
I'm done here. Case adjourned.
I thought the villain could have been a little stronger.
I guess that's kind of a spoiler, so we can't talk about it.
You know, a villain is a tough one to pull off,
and when a movie has a great villain,
it really improves it,
like a die-hard one or whatever.
But yeah, I thought they were kind of bland in this one.
It's hard.
They have to come up with so many villains in these movies.
I'm a DC guy more than a Marvel guy, comic book-wise.
So I'm just glad it's working.
And I'm glad there's a movie out with over 90% Rotten Tomatoes. It's a DC movie. And I hope it pushes Justice League I hope that there's a movie out with like a over 90% Rotten Tomatoes
it's a DC movie
and I hope it pushes
Justice League
and all that shit
so I'm happy about it
I want more of her
I want to see her do that more
I want to see her
fighting people
for sure
mostly men
I think she should just
start punching everybody
in the balls
here's the thing
here's the weird thing
about the movie
and I know you want to move on
but I was like
really attracted to the Dr. Poison chick.
Oh, yeah.
You like that funky mask on her face?
Crazy. You like crazy girls.
She got her mask at the same place
as the guy from Boardwalk Empire got his.
Those things are creepy as fuck.
Yeah, they are.
I can't handle it. I kept looking at it trying to find
her beauty. She's got to be beautiful.
Why? Why does she have to be beautiful?
Because she just had to be.
And then it turned out she was, played by a very beautiful actress.
Who got the gig.
Because they were like, oh, she's going to look great ugly.
Put glasses on her.
Did you?
Well, that's what I'm excited for.
And the next, you know,
as Wonder Woman moves forward
is I want her to be in modern times
fighting people and doing stuff.
I don't need more
what if superheroes were around
during the Nazis.
The real heroes took care
of that whole situation.
We don't need to rewrite that.
We don't need to confuse anybody.
Yeah, Wonder Woman's
family didn't do very well in the
second world war.
Oh no!
God!
Jacob,
too far, Siroth.
Might as well do your plugs
right now. Jacob, only two
on the panel, Siroth. I get to say it.
Guy, have I asked you
what your recent movie experience has been?
Before anything, you have something on your nose
right here. It's been driving me crazy.
Oh, God, thank you.
That's why that guy's been laughing?
That's pretty much the whole reason.
It hasn't been that the whole time.
But the last
It's my nose. I don't know what you guys are talking about.
It feels like forever.
I felt like Gilda Ratner.
I saw Wonder Woman, and I saw Big Watch,
and I saw Pirates of the Caribbean.
Oh, how was that?
It was alright.
Which one is the best one of those three if you had to pick one?
Wonder Woman.
Wonder Woman was the best DC movie so far.
Which is not saying
a lot of stuff. You mean ever or
in this new reboot?
In the current Zack Snyder
universe, it's the best one.
It's, I mean, you know,
it's not hard to do.
But I enjoyed it. I saw it
twice. I read that Patty Jenkins
on Twitter
is lined up to you know she's
gonna probably direct a sequel.
She should.
That's cool.
I think so.
I hope they said it in the 70s.
You know she wants to do it
and they're saying
she's gonna do it I guess.
Alright.
I don't know if I'm allowed
to be excited about that
because it's not for me.
But I want to be.
I like that.
Well that's why I like
I'm excited about it.
That's why I said it.
Suicide Squad. You didn't like Suicide Squad. I'm excited about it. That's why I said it. Suicide Squad.
You didn't like Suicide Squad?
No?
Well, I mean, there's a Mexican in it, so it was more funner.
Yeah.
I know, but the way they treated it was so ridiculous.
Do you set fire to things of your mind?
I set fire to things that were real.
I had a problem.
All right, Diablo. I had a problem. Oh, okay. All right, Diablo.
I had a problem.
We got lots of great
name tags.
Burt Kreischer's in here,
but if he does listen to it,
he needs to turn the show off
because it's time to say
let the games begin!
Ladies and gentlemen,
pick your name tags
from out of the darkness.
Doug said there was a Guardians with me as Baby Groot. Is that around?
And while you do that, we'll do this. We'll go to a brief commercial message.
Where am I, Baby Groot?
Jacob, could you just do this part off mic?
We're going to commercial.
Trying to go to commercial.
This is the part where I always say, we'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
to commercial. This is the part where I always say, we'll be right back. We'll be right back.
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brought to you in part by I'm Dying
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Back to the show.
We're back.
That was an exciting name tag
selection process because
our friend Jacob
just couldn't pick so we decided that
he could have two people that he's playing for.
So he gets two lifelines.
No.
No Carlos.
Why are you trying to help him?
You can't give him an advantage like that.
He's already gonna win.
So,
which one? Tell us about both of your
name tags, Jacob. Okay, well,
before the show you had told me that you saw
a Guardians of the Galaxy poster with me as baby Groot,
and that was really exciting to me
because I've never been on a Guardians name tag.
That was exciting.
But then when I asked for it,
a woman just walked up and handed me a different name tag.
Yeah, she just marched right up.
She was saying specifically Groot,
and she's like, this isn't Groot.
And then she walked up to you and handed you a very nice...
A very nice return of the
how would you say it? Jedith?
Jedith. Because her name's Edith. But that's confusing.
Jedith.
Return of the Jedith. Jedith Christ.
Jedith Christ.
But so that's got
you as Han and me as Luke and
Billy Dee as Billy Dee.
How come I'm not Lando?
Is it me or the house lights never go back
down i think you're right i could see everybody very clearly could we get dark again in here oh
i like it thank you thank you see you guys later we know you're out there because we hear you
breathing amy who are you playing for oh the the guardians one done oh sorry what no the the the to hear you breathing.
Amy, who are you playing for?
Oh, the Guardians one, Doug.
Oh, sorry, what?
Jesus, everything takes forever with you.
I'm sorry.
Which the ladies probably love.
You beat me to it, or not.
Right?
I'm sore.
There's a happy medium.
It's Wednesday.
Can you wrap it up? That's the kind of woman Jacob makes love to. It's Wednesday. Can you wrap it up?
That's the kind of woman Jacob makes love to.
It's Wednesday.
I don't know if I've ever made love to a woman.
Fwomp, fwomp, fwomp.
Carlos, can you do the real one?
Mwah, mwah, mwah.
So which one of the two
do you want to have be your lifeline?
I'm going to go with the Guardians one
because the poster is so solid
that this person must really... I feel like the first one's more of a
fan of the show and this guy's more of a
movie fan. I'm going to guess.
And what's his name?
And it's mainly just because I'm a sexist and he's a boy.
What's his name?
It's Kodians of the
Galley's Jenny. So Kody is who we'll go to.
Oh, there's two people. There's Kody and Jenny.
Is he still talking about it?
There's a Jenny too. Alright, we'll go to. Oh, there's two people. There's Cody and Jenny. Is she still talking about it? There's a Jenny, too.
All right, we got to move on.
Whatever.
We're doing one game now.
Let's go.
Just going to draw a lot.
They have to split the prizes three ways, I guess.
There's half of a half, or I don't know how they're going to do it.
It's going to be an ugly riot.
Is it my turn now?
Mm-hmm.
Thanks, Doug.
I'm playing for Jennica.
Woo, Jennica!
This beautiful breakfast at Jennica's.
And it's her own art.
And it's so beautiful.
And she's...
You're on it, Carlos?
I'm on it. Hey, thank you.
Well, that's great for you. I'm never on them.
Kreischer.
And also, Doug, you're
eating a breakfast of
bacon, eggs, I think that's
a giant mushroom. Could be toast.
And a
bong. Hell yeah.
Yeah.
That's breakfast at Jemica's.
That is so you, dude.
I like it. It's really beautiful, though.
It's, like, well done and thoughtful.
Yeah, she tweeted something about, like,
I don't have time to make a name tag,
so I'll just draw one.
And that's how beautiful it turned out.
It's so good.
The little kitty cat on the heparin.
Oh, man, I love it.
Good job, Jenica.
There you go.
Good luck to both of you.
I saw a lot of crap out there
And this is not crap
That's how you get your face
On a name tag in the future
Carlos, what do you got?
I got
I went all the way
To the very, very back
Because I said
Fuck it, if you're late
That's okay
Yes
And I got Gremlins.
Well, I don't know.
Who does...
Whoa.
That's a pretty cool one.
Yeah, this is an awesome...
Gremlins got light-up sunglasses on
and it's holding a G-zoint
and it says Douglas Movies on his box
and it's been signed by me and Graham Elwood
and two other people who have sloppy signatures
and meaning this person's been to a Douglas Weasel before.
Is that you?
Yeah, that's me.
So Gaius is one of the unlegibles.
Illegibles.
Is that a real name?
But yeah, great job there, Graham.
Guillermelins.
Guillermelins?
Yeah.
Okay.
Very good.
Right on? Yeah. Okay. Very good. Right on.
Yeah.
Sheila Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
Hand-drawn.
Crayon.
Art pastel.
Colored pencil.
So she had to press hella hard to do that.
And it also came with a joint, which is, you know, that's how you get made.
I was wondering why you chose that.
If you want to smoke paradise.
I knew there was a hook.
Yep, I've seen that trick work before.
If I were picking name tags, I'd go right for those.
See, that's how you do it.
Yeah.
Well, great job, everybody.
Yeah, good job.
Let's play some games.
Let's win.
Yeah. Got some shit written down over here.
Should be fun.
We're all counting on you.
Yeah, of course. Good luck. We're all counting on us.
We're going to start with Purple Rain Man.
What movie mashup title
would feature in the third
build roles? You guys
guess as often as you like on this until somebody
gets the right answer. Do I have to say her name first?
No.
Unless...
Unless what?
I can't think of a movie that...
Oh, unless the movie's called Amy.
Aww.
Because there's a movie called Amy, right? Ch there's a movie that's called Amy, right?
Chasing Amy Miller.
There's Chasing Amy also?
All right.
David Tomlinson and Louis Black.
Don't think anyone's going to get it on that.
Audience do not try to help in any way.
Yeah, it's mashed together like Purple Rain Man.
Oh, I get it.
Second billing
would be
Dick Van Dyke
and Bill Hader.
Some people in the audience
know what it is.
Chitty, Chitty...
No.
Dang it.
Chitty, Chitty, Bang, Bang the Drum Slowly. I know the second one. Chitty, Chitty Bang Bang the Drum Slowly?
I know the second movie.
Chitty Chitty.
I know one of them.
Hollywood Bang Bang.
I'm going to do that one on a future episode.
That was a good one.
You're welcome.
All right.
This should make it happen for you guys.
Top build, Julie Andrews and Amy Poehler.
I know the second movie.
I don't know the first one.
You don't know the movie that's got Julie Andrews and Dick Van Dyke in it?
Yes.
That's the one I know.
There's something about Mary Poppins?
No.
Amy Poehler
stars in the other movie in the second half
of the title.
Now I forgot the second half of the title.
I'm going to just give you guys a clue.
It's a computer animated movie. What the fuck, man? It's the second half of the title. Fuck. It's the... It's fucking... I'm gonna just give you guys a clue too.
Fuck it. It's a computer animated movie.
What the fuck, man?
It's the Disney movie.
Fuck with the emotions
and the fucking...
Ah!
And the little girl.
She's gonna be a porn star
if she don't fucking...
You don't get right or some shit.
Oh, oh, oh.
How does that...
Mary Poppins...
Mary Poppins Side Out.
That's correct, Jacob.
That's correct.
That's a weird one, though.
Mary Poppins Side Out. Yeah, that sounds awesome. Good job, Jacob. I couldn't... Really, Jacob. That's correct. That's a weird one, though. Mary Poppins, sign out.
Yeah, that sounds awesome.
Good job, Jacob.
That was fucked up.
I thought of...
I agree.
I thought of that the other day when I was at Disneyland
winning stuffed animals.
I was thinking, what would be a good two Disney movie?
That's a humble brag.
I'm Mary Poppins, sign out, y'all.
I think somebody tweeted at me or said it to me on Instagram or something.
But anyway, congratulations, Jacob.
You won that game.
You get to go first in the next game, which is Ron Bennington's Adjusted for Inflation Bureau game.
Here's how this works.
Jacob gets to go first in the first round.
We're going to do four rounds.
I'll name an actor, actress, and then each of you, in order,
coming this way from Jacob,
have to guess what movie of theirs might be in their top three
at the domestic box office after being adjusted for inflation,
according to boxofficemojo.com.
Adjusted for inflation?
Mm-hmm.
Doesn't affect it that,
in that big of a way,
with more recent movies.
Well, if you say Bert Riddles, though.
Right, exactly.
What happens then?
Exactly.
What if you say Jacob's dick?
Wait, what?
Adjusted for inflation, sir.
I still don't get it.
Is that a Jew joke?
Are you trying to say his penis is cheap?
I'm trying to say that interest is static.
Oh, my God.
I can't believe you walked right into it.
I don't see that I did
You just pulled that out of nowhere
I think what you're trying to say is
And so have you
You're trying to say I'm a grower not a shower
In layman's terms
Something like that
I'll vouch for that
It's all context
Thanks for getting my dick involved in the show
It's most important
It just came out of nowhere
In no time at all
Where did this dick come from?
Holy shit
That was a thing that she may have said at some time
Alright
Jacob start us off
You get one point
You get three points
if you figure out
the number one
movie from this person
and
the person in question
is
Gillian Anderson
Gillian Anderson
yeah it's an interesting one
I think
but I'm
I'm looking right at it
now does she have to be a star
or is this any movie that she was in?
Any movie she was in, yeah.
Anything they were in.
I try to keep track of every once in a while to be like a cameo
or something that slips by.
Joanne Anderson.
There's one I want to say and I can't think of the title.
Oh shit.
I'm going to have to say something.
I mean, Jesus.
Joanne Anderson. something I mean Jesus I don't know what all right yeah I don't know what I don't
want to give it to Amy the X-Files movie
oh that Jillian I was thinking of the
one from the one from... Are you thinking of Jillian Anderson?
The one that died from breast cancer
that was on It's a Living.
What was her name?
Oh, Ann Jillian.
Yeah, I was thinking of her.
I was like, why would he pick her?
Because she was in that one movie
with Charles Bronson
when she was the first lady
and he had to protect her.
I was like, it's got to be that one.
It's the only movie she's ever done.
All right.
All right, sorry.
Sorry, everybody.
No, this person's been in a few movies.
But Amy, I need the exact title.
X-Files the movie.
Okay, you're going with X-Files the movie.
Well, first I said the X-Files movie.
I tried.
Right?
But I'm just saying you've got to pick an exact title.
The X-Files.
Carlos?
The X-Files.
Somewhere out there.
Yeah, it's not American
Tale, dude.
So
where Yeah, it's not American Tail, dude. So, where?
The X-Files.
Huh?
What?
What are you saying?
I was going to say,
the X-Files of Truth is out there?
Yes.
That's what it is.
Shoot the yes out there.
I'm in charge.
I am the quiz master.
Does that hurt tough?
All right, so that's your guess?
Sure.
Something like that?
Can I have a guess for fun that won't count for points?
What?
Can I have a guess for fun that won't count for points?
Yeah, it'll be so much fun and not take up any time.
I love it.
Go.
X-Files, Fight the Future.
What?
X-Files, Fight the Future.
Fight the Future, okay.
All right, coming in at number three for
Gillian Anderson, The Last King of Scotland.
Yeah, she's in that movie.
With Forrest Whitaker.
And then number two,
The X-Files,
I Want to Believe.
Oh.
And then coming in at number one for three points, it's Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Hey, there's still
three more rounds of this.
Thank you, everyone.
In this round, you get to go first,
and the actor's name is David Duchovny.
Oh, jeez.
X-Files, I Want to Believe.
Okay, Carlos.
Oh, shit.
A David Duchovny masterpiece.
David Duchovny.
House of D.
Okay.
Top Gun.
No.
No.
He wasn't in that?
Fuck, I don't know.
David Duchovny.
Yeah, I know who he is.
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.
I don't fucking know when he was in.
Okay.
Jacob.
The X-Files.
Yes.
You sure you want to go with that? I'm going with The X-Files. Okay. You sure you want to go with that?
I'm going with The X-Files.
Okay.
Company number three for Mr. David Duchovny,
Beethoven.
Yeah, he was like the bad guy in the Beethoven movie.
Beethoven dragged him across a lawn
at the end of a chain.
With Charles Groth.
Mm-hmm.
Company number two,
David Duchovny apparently had a brief role
in the classic Working Girl
Working Girl
and then
coming in at number one
for three points to Jacob
it's The X-Files
why wouldn't I
say that if they were both
in it
it does seem pretty
odd when that happens, but you'd be surprised
how often
I could slip things by people.
Beethoven!
Alright, so
Carlos gets to start us off in this next round.
the person whose name tag he chose
is very excited. And we person whose name Jackie chose is very excited.
And we're
going with
Kevin Spacey.
Frank Underwood.
Yes,
House of Cards
does not count.
One of his
biggest grossing
flicks.
I'll say
I'll go
Horrible Bosses.
Okay.
No?
Okay, fuck it, then I won't.
You don't,
it's not Price is Right.
Like, higher, higher.
The audience doesn't get to tell you
whether or not they like your answer.
The fuck is Kevin Spacey?
And Gaio?
That's a good answer.
Horrible Bosses made a lot of fucking money.
It made a lot of fucking money.
Just because they don't fuck him,
I don't care.
I just care about Guillermo fucking Gremlin guy over there.
Is it just the actual release,
or is it throughout the run of the film or whatever?
In theaters.
But, you know, sometimes things get re-released,
and that's why Gone with the Wind is still way up there.
What's the one with the fucking stuff?
I'll tell you.
I'll tell you. Competitor?
Yeah, sure.
What's the one that he was with the girl
in American Beauty?
Okay.
Okay.
Jacob?
I feel pretty good about this.
Superman Returns.
Alright.
Played Lex Luthor in that.
Everyone hates that.
Amy?
I'm going to say Pay It Forward.
Okay.
That's an interesting guess.
It depends on how you define wealth.
That movie did get a lot of karma. You're so wise. It made a lot of karma
You're so wise
It made a lot of karma
Bennington doesn't adjust for karma
His name's Ron Bennington
Whatever
He's a wonderful man
If someone said Steve Seraph
I'd be like his name's Jacob
I want to meet that guy
Sounds way cooler Like a more gentile me Steve Seraph, I'd be like, his name's Jacob. I want to meet that guy.
Sounds way cooler.
Like a more Gentile-y me.
Did you guys see that Jacob's been gentrified?
Doesn't make any sense.
All right.
Did you name one?
Me?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, pay it forward.
I'm sorry.
I forgot because I don't see it here. You'd see it in your heart if you ever watched it.
I thought I could trick somebody into saying working girl
because Kevin Spacey appears briefly in that.
But that came in at number seven,
so that would have been, none of you fell for that. But that came in at number seven. So that would have been, none of you fell for that.
But then coming
in at number one, interestingly enough,
because we did mention cameos and short
parts, he's in Austin Powers
and Goldmember
briefly. And then also
he's the voice of the grasshopper
bad guy in A Bug's Life.
A Bug's Life is number
two. And then coming up at number three
for one point for Jacob, it's Superman
Returns.
This is a real
barn burner.
Jacob has four.
Amy has three.
Then there's some other
guys.
Hey, Doug. Yes.
One for four.
Amy.
Ba-boom, ba-boom. guys. Hey Doug. Yes. What if we ordered a couple drinks? Oh okay. That could be pretty cool right? Yeah go ahead ask for ask away. Can I please have a tall tea dozen soda? I drank that before I met Doug. Just want you guys to know. Can I get a Red Bull? Coffee.
Is anyone?
Somebody in the audience.
What?
Thank you, girl.
You can drink anything you want
and that's what you asked for?
I'm a recovered alcoholic.
If I drink alcohol,
then I want to rob everybody.
Oh, that's what you're
doing all that drunk driving before.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, okay.
And I got to calm down on it, too.
Got to strike. I'm a recovered alcoholic. I Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. And I gotta calm down on it, too. Gotta strike.
I'm a recovered alcoholic.
I mean, I still drink and drive, but...
They still have strikes?
But I recover.
They still have strikes?
Nah.
You said I gotta strike.
No, I got a felony, but I don't gotta strike.
They still have strikes.
I gotta...
They do?
Yeah.
That's a thing?
Yeah.
It's not a thing that would affect you, mostly.
As a Jewish white privileged...
Yeah.
He was like, what?
I would also like a Cheetos and soda,
which I've been drinking before I was drinking them.
What were their things before you were born?
I was drinking them before they started serving them here.
How about you, Amy?
No, no, not at all.
I just don't want people to think that... You're a copycat.
Doug, what would you do in that situation?
Would you revert to kettle?
That's like if you're sitting in a steakhouse going,
I know they ordered steak, but I'm going to go there, too.
I've been eating steak for a while now.
That's a little different.
A little different, you're right.
We've got to play this game out here,
and then we got another game to play,
so let's go with...
Who gets to go first?
N'Gayo.
And the actor's name is Mike Myers.
Oh, shit.
Wow.
Wow, indeed.
Jacob's walking around. Oh, he's getting a drink.
Wayne's World. Oh, thanks, Jacob.
I'm going to go with Wayne's World. Made all the money.
He's going Wayne's World. Thank you very much.
All in.
Thank you for the drinks,
comedy club.
And for the Red Bull for Carlos.
Boom.
It's coming. Relax, dude.
Stay calm. Now they're going to spit in it because you were an asshole. it's coming relax dude stay calm
now they're gonna
spit it in
because you were
an asshole
I didn't say it
I didn't say it
it was him
well
fill me coffee
why don't you
try some decaf
man
chill out
I was walking
along Columbus
and one of those
groups of naked
bicyclers
rode by
and there's this little Asian
girl with her mother and the girl goes,
I didn't need that today.
From the mouths of babes.
Her mom probably did.
It's kind of gross. It's gross.
I just go right to How like
Uncomfortable I'd be
On a bicycle seat
With my junk out
Alright
And there's like
One girl in the group
Thanks for throwing me
That bone
Ew
Ew
Ew
Alright
Wayne's World
You said Wayne's World
I said Wayne's World
Jacob
Austin Powers
The Spy Who Shagged Me
Okay
Amy
Austin Powers
Gold Member
Okay so Austin Powers
and Gold Member is that what you want to say?
Yep that's what I said That's? Yep, that's what I said.
That's what you said.
That's what you said.
Thank you, Ben.
Clever.
Carlos?
I agree with Jacob, but...
Oh, that's not how the game works.
Shit.
All right, well, then I'll do...
Now you can't pretend your own prize is right,
because that's...
$1.
You've got to say something different. I've got to say something different.
Okay, I'll say that Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery.
Alright, so what did we have?
I had a recap.
Wayne's World?
And then the rest of you all
figured out the other
Austin Powers movies.
Alright, so
interestingly, the highest ranking Austin Powers movie came Alright, so, interestingly,
the highest ranking Austin Powers movie came in at number five.
Austin Powers and
Goldmember.
That's right. And numbers one, two, and
three are Shrek, Shrek 2,
and Shrek 3.
That's classic.
Pardon me, Shrek the third,
to be precise.
It pisses me off because I just got it, and I looked at it, and I was like, Shrek, fuck.
That's like your Mexican gang name.
Oh, Shrek.
Mexican gang what?
Name, nickname.
My name?
No.
No.
El Shrek-o.
All right, so that means that Jacob is the winner of Ron Bennington's adjusted for Steve Bennington game.
Jacob's killing it.
You did it, yeah.
But Jacob gets to go first
in the, you know,
one of the,
I was going to say
the granddaddy of all the games,
but that's not true.
I bet it is.
But this is one that came along
and we named it after a granddaddy.
It's called Last Man Stanton.
Oh!
Here we go.
I think it's the granddaddy. It's called Last Man Stanton. Oh! Here we go. I think it's the granddaddy.
It's my favorite.
And we'll start with Jacob
because he keeps winning. And then we'll
scoot it around the other way.
So it'll go Amy, Carlos,
Mgayo, and me. I like to play along.
But each of you get to use your lifeline
once. That's the person's name tag you chose.
You can go to them and only them and the people
whispering in their ears
because I can't police the whole room
to get an answer
one time.
I know we're all drinking and smoking
and it's a beautiful day in San Francisco.
So let's
not yell out any
answers.
My girl got tats on her face.
Some meat and cookies from Oak.
I don't remember N'G guy being this musical on the show.
You should listen.
I've been on it before.
Singing.
How do you remember when you look
back on being on the show with Jacob, what do you
remember most?
Racial animus.
What's the second word?
I feel like I might need to tweet that.
A-N-I-M-U-S.
Animus. Oh, that might be a good album
title for you.
Racial animus.
What does it mean so I can pretend like I already knew?
Look it up.
I'm not even convinced it is a word.
There's racial friction caused by you.
Really?
Yeah, you come out swinging.
I don't know if that's...
You're mad.
You think I'm mad?
No, I'm translating.
Oh.
That's what animus means.
No, not at all.
I'm a liberal Jew
from San Francisco.
I just think race is funny
because I went
to public schools here.
And you walked around
laughing all day?
Well, it used to be
like all these people here were Chinese
when I grew up here
and at some point
and cops?
yeah all the people are cops
used to be Chinese
what shows were you doing?
everybody everywhere was Chinese
San Francisco was Chinese when I was a kid
so like that's all we did was make racial jokes about them
and they made them about us
I was born here in 1980 and I was Chinese.
See?
That's why they put her
on a boat to Oakland.
On a slow boat to Oakland.
That was good.
All right.
Let's play this game, you guys.
Let's. The game, you guys. Let's.
The person who I picked from Twitter to give us a suggestion today goes by the name The Boom Camel.
Right here.
Boom Camel.
Hey, Boom Camel.
Why do you call yourself that?
The Boom Camel.
Dude, I used to work with, just said it'd be a funny name.
What? Really?
Is it because camels are hard to hear?
What are you fucking saying?
Somebody had him a megaphone.
So terrorist-y, the Boom Camel. Just yell.
A buddy said you should call yourself the Boom Cam who told me he thought it sounded funny. A buddy said you should call yourself the boom camel?
Because he thought it was funny.
Hmm.
That was so anticlimactic.
Did he also pick out any of your tattoos?
Because they're probably terrible.
I thought he was going to say something like,
I was on a film crew in the desert one time.
Yeah, no.
Everyone was passed out from dehydration.
It's pretty amazing.
You think what people might be named after,
and that's why I like to ask,
because it's like, nope,
just thought the boom camel sounded good.
I thought he was going to have a desert storm story or something.
He's like, I was back in the land,
and I can't wait to get the grenades.
I was in charge of the grenades.
Yeah, yeah, he's like, I'm the boom camel.
He said, ask about me. It's because, like, yeah. He's like, I'm the boom camel. He said,
ask about me.
It's because, like,
you can drink a lot
and store it in your hump
and that kind of thing.
Is that why your buddy
calls you a camel?
Because that would make sense.
You go into a bar,
look out, boom camel!
You go in at happy hour,
by the time you leave,
they're out of Schlitz.
Just once a year, though.
Schlitz?
Yeah, that was a fun beer name, don't you think?
It's got a Z.
It sounds cheap, too, right?
We're going to get Schlitz-based.
All right, so Boom Camel, what do you got for us for a name,
and it better not be somebody that's an ishtar.
Jeff Goldblum.
Who? Jeff Goldblum. Jeff Goldblum.
All right.
Wow. That's a good one.
I'm not sure how I feel about it.
Jeff Goldblum.
Start with you there, Jacob.
Okay. The Fly.
Let's go on The Fly.
Might be my favorite Jeff Goldblum performance.
Definitely might.
Amy? Jurassic Park. Definitely mine. Maybe. Amy?
Jurassic Park.
Mm-hmm.
I want to believe.
I want to believe-chaos theory.
Me?
What?
My turn, yeah.
Yes.
Jurassic Park, The Lost World Part 2 right
Alright this is gonna get ugly
No no it's cool
It's the first round so I'm gonna let it go
But it's oddly named
That's all I'll say
What do you think it's called
They don't do it right
It's in the wrong order
Oh so it's Lost World, Jurassic Park? Yes.
Okay. Almost.
Is it not at the beginning?
Yeah. Oh, it's so confusing.
The Lost World. Alright, guys.
We got it out of the way. Fuck that movie.
What's it got?
Vince Vaughn in it? Fuck it.
Go back to comedy.
What are you doing in dramas?
He said Raptors, baby.
Raptors.
Thor 3 Ragnarok?
Does that count?
You know, again, it's first round play,
so I'll let things slide.
Oh, I got some reserved.
We'll save them up, because I'm going to let that one go.
We'll allow that, because I am excited about Ragnarok.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
146 days
until it's released
and people can say it in this game legit.
Alright, I'm gonna go
with
Annie Hall.
Whoa, wow.
Yeah.
He just says some line about his mantra
and that's his whole point.
Jacob.
Independence Day.
Good choice.
Amy.
Thor.
Yes.
Are you extrapolating that because he's in the next Thor
that he might have been in an earlier Thor?
No, I said,
I want to go to my lifeline.
Okay.
Jenica, what have you got for Amy?
Nine months.
Nine months.
All right.
Filmed in this era.
I'm also in that movie.
M'Gayo's in nine months?
Yeah.
Cha-ching.
Is that why you said it?
Did you know that M'Gaya was in that movie?
Please feel free.
I get like half a cent.
As the fetus.
Sean's friend number one.
You do have a lot of kids, so that makes sense.
I'm Sean's friend number one.
Is that Hugh Grant?
No, Jeff Goldblum.
Jeff is Sean.
I'm his artistic friend.
He was his friend.
Artistic. Do you think Jeff friend. He was his friend. Artistic.
Do you think Jeff Goldblum was, like, at the height of his sexual, like, wasn't he really in shape in that movie?
Here's what I noticed on the set.
Everyone, every movie star I saw has a gigantic head, like physically much bigger than everybody else's head.
And I started to wonder,
is my head even big enough
to think about being in movies?
Because,
yeah, I'm done.
Tom Arnold has a giant head.
Joan Cusack has a big fucking head.
And I still love her.
You're naming all the great movie stars.
Jeff Goldblum has a giant head.
The first two he goes to.
Danny Glover's head is fucking huge.
Johnny Depp looks like a fucking Muppet
when you see him in real life.
He's a tiny guy. Huge fucking head. Johnny Depp looks like a fucking Muppet when you see him in real life. This tiny guy.
Huge fucking head.
It's scientific.
Tom Arnold and Joan Cusack are the first two movie stars.
They're in nine months.
Oh, yeah. Try to hold it together.
I thought that was just a random...
I didn't get it either.
I attacked you for the same reason,
which makes Jacobs even stranger.
We can all still be friends.
Whose turn is it to pick a Jeff Goldblum film?
It's me. So I'm going to go.
Fuck, I just had it.
Shit, shit, shit, shit. Oh, here it is.
Deep Cover.
Oh, yeah.
That's a good move.
Yeah, and you don't stop.
All right. Good job.
Into the Night.
That's a good one.
David Bowie and Michelle Pfeiffer, directed by
John Landis.
There's no bonus points.
I know, I just like to show off some shit sometimes.
But that is a good one.
If people haven't ever seen that, that's a good movie.
It's not bad. It's a little slow.
It's interesting.
It's got lots of cameos.
David Boyd was great. I'm going to go with
a movie Jeff Goldblum was in called
Mr. Frost.
Ooh, okay.
Nice. Interesting.
I don't think I've ever seen it.
I think he
turns into a snowman.
Wait, that's Michael Keaton that turns into a snowman.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
So, wait, was he in it, though?
No, he's in a thing called Mr. Frost.
That was Jack Frost.
That was Jack Frost.
Okay.
That was Jack Frost, Jake.
Your turn.
It's Chinatown, Jake.
Okay, I may or may not be bluffing, but I'm pretty thin.
You're going to go to your lifeline?
No, but I'm going to go with Earth Girls Are Easy.
Why is that bluffing?
About that I'm kind of thin at this point.
That part may or may not be bluffing, but it probably is.
All right.
Earth Girls Are Easy.
Amy, what happened to you?
What?
Well, you used your lifeline
in the time
since then if you thought of another one.
I'm going to say Mars
attacks. Oh, I like
your... That's smart. That's got
a lot of people in it. You know what I'm doing?
You have a chance? Jeff Goldblum was not
one of them.
But that was really... Are you sure?
That was good. You took a good shot
and thank you for being a great player
and a great guest.
And a good friend.
Most important.
You're all so sweet to me.
Carlos? I'm going to go with the fly.
We already did that one.
That was the first one out of the jar.
Fuck, I was somewhere else. I'm sorry.
Then I'll do the...
The hideaway. It's when he has, shit, I'll do The Hideaway.
It's when
he has a serial killer
and he has,
they do the same mimes.
You remember that shit?
That's an old school ass movie.
No,
it's for real.
I'm not bullshitting.
The Hideaway?
Yeah,
the serial killer
is in his mind
and he's like
hiding his mind
and fucking
starts turning it
and he's trying
to kill his own daughter
and shit.
The Hideaway?
It might be hide,
I don't,
I don't think, The Hideaway. It might be Hide... I don't... I don't think...
The Hideaway.
No.
You mean like a hideaway key
under a rock
under a mat?
I can't remember.
I think he got a car accident
with a dude or something like that
but their minds kind of melded
or some shit like that.
It's like in the fucking
early, early 90s.
It was like right after.
It was like deep cover
like right after that.
You know what?
All right.
Well, no one is objecting
too strenuously.
Because I don't think
everybody's just
had their mouth open.
Like is this a real thing?
I said House of D earlier.
I know all these
old dumb ass movies.
She didn't know
what House of D was.
That's David Duchovny
directed that shit.
House of D?
Yeah, David Duchovny
shit he directed that.
She looked at me like
what the fuck is House of D?
I was like it's a movie podcast
right?
You're supposed to have
this geek knowledge.
And apparently you guys
don't fucking know.
Why aren't you sharing
your cocaine?
That's what I want to know.
We've known each other for 36 hours now.
I haven't seen a nair bump.
You don't get a point for talking the longest.
Just answer...
I tried and you keep fucking giving me the rope to hang myself on.
The hideaway.
Are we going to go with that?
Good for you if you got that one past me.
I think you believe in it.
The hideaway. Yeah.
N'Gaya?
The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai
across the air. Nice!
Big bootay!
Very good.
It's not my planet, it's a monkey boy.
Buckaroo Banzai.
Why don't you give him my jacket? Because you're perfect,
Tommy. Oh, that's true.
Alright, I'm going to try to say it right.
And I, you know,
I think I put up a good fight if I fail.
Fly. It's fly.
The.
Is that what you were going to say? The fly?
No.
No.
Independence Day Resurgence
Is that the way it's
Is that what it's called?
Alright
Is he in it?
Yeah he's in it
That's why I said it
But I didn't know
Fucking resurgence
Is such a
Like what does that even mean?
Animus
Yeah that's Leaving the theater does that even mean? Animus.
Yeah, that's... Leaving the theater, I was like, Independence Day, Animus.
Is what I'd call it.
I think he was in a movie called
The Great White Hype.
Okay.
People have your back on that,
so you get that one.
It was Peter Berg and
somebody else.
Carlos? Lifeline. The Grand Budapest Hotel that's a good one I was just oh all right and Gaio. Sheila. Guardians of the Galaxy
Volume 2.
What? Jeff Goldblum?
No, he's not. You probably saw
the trailer for Thor Ragnarok before
you saw Guardians, and it
all mind-blended into
your mind-blend.
So you got him out? Did you get him out?
That's dope as shit.
He's in a scene in the credits.
He's in the credits.
In a scene.
He's in one of those circles.
Oh, in the Easter eggs.
That's him.
He's in one of the circles.
Okay, yeah, that makes sense.
Oh, she did it!
Yeah.
She redeemed herself.
She redeemed herself.
I'm going to say the name of a movie that he was in that took place
at a small
newspaper,
maybe it was a college newspaper,
called Between the Lines.
Between the Lines.
Word?
Yeah.
It's legit. Jacob?
The guy who thought of another one?
Who's still in it?
Huh?
Who's still in it?
Yeah, four of us.
Everyone except for Amy.
Sorry.
You didn't have to say it that way.
Not all, yeah.
Three of these things, baby.
You got another one?
That's right.
I might have to go to Lifeline,
but wait a second.
Wait, you got a Lifeline
and you're sitting there making us wait?
Yeah.
Go to your Lifeline.
I want to save it.
Use it.
Three seconds then.
Two, one.
Wow, that's impossible.
Go to your Lifeline.
All right.
Or pass or lose.
I think Cody or Jenny.
What do you got?
Yeah, there's a couple of them over there.
Yeah.
Cody, Jenny, what do you got?
Let's do it.
Wait, if you pick two name tags, you get two lifelines? No, no, there's two on one.
No, there's two on one name tag here.
I'm ignoring you. That's the loophole he's trying to use.
But I don't care. No, I'm not using, I'm only using one.
But everybody gets a lifeline. Go. What's the
answer? What's my lifeline? Go.
Oh, they don't have anything. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha Neither one of them had any?
None of them.
Well, no, I didn't ask the other.
You didn't ask the girl?
No, I didn't ask her.
Just for...
Yeah, that's okay.
You didn't pick either.
Yeah.
You didn't pick either.
No.
Yeah, I told him he could only pick one
of the two name tags,
because that's only fair.
Yeah, I picked the wrong one.
She has one, man.
She's got one, but it's too late now, so.
Keep it to yourself, Edith.
Wait, wait, wait.
Okay.
What are you waiting for, what?
You're out.
Okay.
Yeah, it's over.
Okay.
Yeah.
Sorry, dude.
I'm gonna go with Life Aquatic of Steve Zizou.
Yes!
Sorry, dude.
I'm going to go with Life Aquatic of Steve Zizou.
Yes!
The Big Chill.
Shit!
Yeah, that's a big one.
This one's also going to blow your minds.
Tombstone.
No?
I stopped myself.
I stopped myself.
Silver fucking Rada.
Silver Rada.
He had the crazy sideburns. What was the first movie?
You stopped yourself
so I didn't know
what the first movie was.
I almost said Tombstone
because that's got
everybody in it too.
I only heard 99% of that.
It's Silver Rada.
Silver Rada.
With the young Kevin Costner.
All right, Carlos, you done?
I'm going to go with
Shit. He has a cameo in something. I'm going to go with Shit.
He has a cameo in something.
I bet he does.
Damn it.
The end credits of Volume 2.
He's also in
Shit, man.
I think I'm done.
Yo, he's in The Fly 2.
There's a picture of his dad.
He's the dad. He's in it. There's a picture of his dad. He's the dad.
Boom.
He's in it.
It's credited.
He gets paid.
Same with Chris.
Right?
I'm going to state my case.
I know.
That's a tough one.
In the credits, it's like, picture of Jeff Koblo played by Jeff Koblo.
There's a still photo of him in the movie?
I think there's a very good chance.
Hey, look, it's Enrico Palazzo.
I think there's a very good chance you see a picture of him for some reason, and they
could get the rights to that.
I don't know if he's credited in the movie,
but I'm going to give it to you because
I'm trying for you.
You already probably don't deserve to win
because of that hideaway shit.
Lungayo?
Ten Speed and Brown Shoot.
Television show.
I know.
Hold on.
Give me a second.
I could...
What?
What are you...
I'm good at horse.
I'm good at horse.
It's game now.
It's game time.
We gotta go, you guys.
What?
I mean, we gotta... Show's gotta wrap up soon, so... Okay. Fuck. A League of time. We gotta go, you guys. What? I mean, the show's gotta wrap up
soon, so... Oh, okay. Fuck.
A League of Their Own. I don't fucking know.
That's his wife, Gina Davis.
Or his ex-wife.
His ex-wife, yeah.
I like a quiz game where everyone's like,
I don't fucking know.
What the fuck are y'all over me about this shit for?
The hell's
happening? I didn't need this today.
You did not need it today.
All that sweaty
ass.
What? Hang on a second.
I'll decide who wins.
I gotta see if I'm gonna beat you.
Okay, alright.
Fantastic Mr. Fox.
Suckers.
They go, um... I don't... He might not be in it. Mr. Fox. Suckers.
He might not be in it.
I know.
JFK.
I just thought another Wes Anderson might make sense.
Was he in that? I don't know if he was or not.
So let's say it. It's official.
Carlos is our winner today.
Yes.
Got it for you.
Thank you.
What other ones? Carlos is our winner today. Yes. Yes. Got it for you. Yes. Woo!
What other ones?
You were trying to tell me one
and I couldn't read your lips.
The Hideaway 2.
Where's the-
Mordecai.
Where's this person
that you're playing for here,
the Gremlins name tag?
Boom, this guy.
Guillermins.
Guillermins.
Where you at?
Where you at, man?
Come on down to get all your prizes.
You might want to
bring a friend.
There's a lot of stuff
to carry.
You came back to win?
Yeah.
That's pretty impressive,
Don.
I'm telling you.
Just any time.
Is that like the Patriots
out of the Falcons?
Is that you?
That's you?
Can I come back?
Oh, it's your husband?
Oh, okay.
You don't have to come down,
dude, if she can handle it.
Congratulations.
Yay!
Do you want your poster back?
Well, you got a free fire stick.
They're very heavy.
And a Batman 66 Funko.
And a lunchbox and some comic books and some shit.
Bag of weed.
You got everything.
You got a butt for?
Yay!
All right.
Watch this.
Here, here.
Watch this.
I'll talk about that.
Golden.
All right, Jacob.
What do you got to plug, buddy?
I really don't have anything to plug right now.
I got some stuff coming up, but I don't want to...
What's that on the Netflix?
Flying high on the Netflix?
What does that mean?
If I were you, I'd say it's something that you want to plug.
Instead of just tossing away the moment,
and we took the moment, and then you didn't do anything with it.
Just say something.
Okay, well, it's comedy knockout on True TV.
I wrote on that show.
Yay!
Amy, do you have anything to plug?
God damn it.
Yes, if you live in Portland,
I'll be there in a couple weeks with Adam Conover and Helium.
And also, this Wednesday,
I am dropping my brand new podcast
Who's Your God, where we interview
comedians about their religious beliefs.
That's awesome. Oh, wow. That's a really good idea.
So follow me
at Amy Miller on Twitter, or
follow Who's Your God cast on Twitter.
And Wednesday, we have our first
episode. Will you be on it?
I don't speak about
that publicly.
It's private.
It's special.
It's for me.
Sounds like a yes!
But I do need a place to recruit more people for my cult,
so I will happily be on the show.
Where's a big name tag I can hit?
Oh, there it is.
Missed it.
Oh, shit.
Did I hit somebody behind it? I'm sorry.
Apologies.
Carlos Rodriguez?
Yeah, you can catch me at Carlos Comedy
on Twitter and Instagram.
Oh, shit.
August 12th, I'll be with...
That's what I was supposed to do. I'm sorry.
I'll be with Brent Ernst and Pete Geovine
in New Jersey at the
House of Independence in Ashbury, New Jersey.
It's donut madness.
All right.
Dungayo.
June 23rd, 24th, Salt Lake City with Brian Pesani and Wise Guys.
Mid-July 14th through the 16th, just outside of Bend, Oregon at the Crawl Fest.
Check my podcast on CannabisRadio.com called Rolling With Mgaio
and buy my CD
outside after the show.
He holds up
this gigantic name tag,
tries to catch it
with his hand,
fucking nips it
right into the carpeting,
which I'm sure
isn't gross at all
here at a comedy club.
Takes a bite.
Like a champ.
Like a fucking champ.
It's like a human vacuum cleaner.
Why do people do that?
Don't move the sign away.
This one looks amazing.
It's got like s'mores on top of it.
It's a s'mores donut.
Don't throw that.
Somebody should eat it.
There she goes.
Doug has a heart.
Did you do your plugs in Gaia?
June 23rd and 24th
at Wiseguy's in Salt Lake City.
Yes, he did.
I remember now.
I remember.
Buy my CDs,
listen to my podcast.
Uh-oh, Jacob
has something else to say.
The movie's called Hideaway.
I made Amy Google it.
It's called Hideaway.
Did you?
But I feel like
if you're Mexican,
you could do
The Hideaway,
Hideaway,
The Hideaways.
Racial animals.
Yeah, El Hideaway.
Racial animal,
whatever you call it.
He said Hideaway.
Racial animal. Like I said,
I wasn't worried about it.
It was another waste of time.
Thank you guys so much for being here.
One more time for all of my guests.
N'Gayo Bila,
Carlos Rodriguez,
Jacob Seroff,
and Amy Miller.
Yeah, okay. Not right now, dude.
I'm still doing a podcast.
I gotta do the little wrap-up thing here.
I'm gonna give both of those name tags
their, I'm gonna say their shitheads
because they deserve it.
Yeah.
They're probably just sitting back there
the whole time confident that they were going to win.
You're never going to be madder
than that.
If you ever see that movie The Hideaway
excuse me, Hideaway
you're just going to be pissed at it
the entire time.
Oh, I had one more plug I wanted to say about Me Too.
Yeah, you already know about tomorrow.
I'm doing stand-up at the Comedy Connection in Providence
on Monday, June 19th.
Thank you to Cobb's Comedy Club.
Thank you to all you guys for coming out this afternoon
and being such a fun crowd.
And as always uh depression is a head
they've got a scary laugh
um rick caller rick is a head
Rick, Caller Rick is a shithead Okay we got 7 or 8 people here that hate him
And one guy who said fuck that motherfucker
Don't know what that's about
Oh they didn't even write down two shitheads
This one is really cool though you guys
I really like this one
I'm going to keep this one
I know I don't normally do that.
And
finally,
live drivers who turn the wrong way and make
your friends late to the show.
Oh, and anyone in politics
named Huckabee is
a shithead.
Once again, thanks to Dog Shave Club for pitching in and sponsoring on today's episode.
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Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.
There's no room in his heart for you
because Doug loves movies.