Doug Loves Movies - Ngaio Bealum, Carlos Rodriguez and Geoff Tate guest
Episode Date: November 1, 2019Live from the Punch Line in Sacramento, Doug welcomes Ngaio Bealum, Carlos Rodriguez and Geoff Tate to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a... free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds with 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth.
There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies!
Hey everybody, my name is Doug and I love movies. Hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies.
Scary movies, that is.
I think that's what it says.
Yeah.
This is Doug Loves Scary Movies. It's Halloween, and we're coming to you from the Punchline in Sacramento.
It's Halloween and we're coming to you from the Punchline in Sacramento!
Oh, it's great to be back here in the state's capital.
What gentleman in the audience agrees with me?
Sure, why not?
Yeah, it is great to be here because it's Thursday, October 31st, 2019.
How about Arden?
I always have to give the name How About Arden a shout because that is the funniest mall name that I've ever come across.
And I'm ready to be frightened by your name tags.
What kind of name tags we got going on here tonight? Oh shit!
They are scary. Oh my
God. There's a giant Silence
of the Lambs. What's it say on it?
Silence of the Tori. Lori.
Excuse me Lori.
That's terrible to call you Tori.
And it's a
Silence of the Lambs poster and instead of Jodie, it's me with a bug on my mouth.
Very, very terrifying.
Also terrifying that I would co-star in Dodgeball,
but it would be called Rajball.
Good job, Raj.
What's with the pizza, Melissa?
Malistic pizza.
Malistic pizza.
What's with the pizza, Melissa?
Malistic pizza.
Malistic pizza.
And it's like, you look like you got in some sort of pizza accident,
became a mutant pizza person, because you're covered in pizza, but then also it looks like your hand has just exploded into one giant slice.
The pizza's going to take over your face.
Look out.
And what's your friend dressed up as?
are you an Ewok?
I'm supposed to be Chewbacca Chewbacca?
it is too hot to be Chewbacca
so you just look like you have crazy hairy legs
she's relinquished the top of her
Chewbacca outfit
so now she's just Baca
and what's your name though? relinquished the top of her Chewbacca outfit, so now she's just Baca.
And wait,
what's your name, though? Does it fit into Chewbacca somehow? It's not like Becca or
anything? Chewbeck could be
a good one. Plan ahead for next
year, any Beckas out
there. What do we have
over here? Danielle?
Danabelle. Instead of Dan
Annabelle. Oh, Danabelle instead of Annabelle.
Okay, I get it.
And then
Franca Stein.
Frank Kate Stein.
Frank what? Frank Kate Stein.
Oh my god.
I wish these glasses were a prescription
and I would really...
This would work out a lot better. But if I wore my
prescription distance glasses, then I wouldn't be able to read out a lot better. But if I wore my prescription distance glasses,
then I wouldn't be able to read off a piece of paper with them on.
And if I wear my reading glasses, I can't see things far away.
I have the most fucked up eyes.
And people are like, try bifocals.
And I'm like, try fucking off.
Not Benjamin Franklin.
I don't really want,
I don't need to look at things
that are up close and far at the same time.
Heidi the 13th.
I got it, first try.
Army of Markness.
See, I'm not so bad at reading.
Definitely maybe.
So you really decided
to put yourself out there and
pick the scariest movie of them all.
Definitely maybe.
What's your costume, dude?
It's,
what's that? Oh, the two of you are together?
And, oh, Juno.
I get it. Because somebody yelled out Juno.
I might not have
gotten there but yeah
okay and you're not actually pregnant
no thank
thank God says Michael
Sarah just like he
did in the movie wait they had the baby in the
movie right
I think that's
the movie that needs a sequel to show how
badly everything went for them.
It does not work out.
And what's going on with the pandas over there?
I like a good panda looking around like,
who, me?
Is that panda head comfortable to wear?
Are you able to sit and watch a whole show with that on?
He's going to give it a shot.
Are you like a furry in real life?
This is just a special occasion.
How did you get a hold of a panda costume with such an elaborate,
like you look like a mascot or something, that big head?
How'd you get a hold of that?
Amazon?
That is a good costume.
Do you mind me asking how much you paid for it?
$350?
Holy cow.
If you don't
buy a fucking poster or a pin from me
tonight, after laying
out that kind of cash for a panda head,
I wouldn't even pay that much
to get panda head.
Even though they are adorable.
But do you have a name, panda man? Okay, to get Panda Head. Even though they are adorable. But
do you have a name,
Panda Man? Okay, that's
what we're calling you, Panda Man.
I loved you
in that movie, Pandemonium.
Oh, look at that.
The head falls back like to
everybody look at
the panda, do it again.
That's when he's laughing really hard.
His head falls way back alright great job
on the name tags
and the panda costume
and the pizza costume
and the Junos
the couple from Juno
they're not a couple
at the end though right
she just has this baby
and they're like friends.
You think they're going to fall in love?
They play that song, yeah.
Okay.
Doug plugs.
The long Halloween season continues
with one more Doug Loves Scary Movies
at Cobbs in San Francisco this Saturday,
November 2nd at 420.
And then we're back to regular
DLMs this month
in Salt Lake City, San Jose,
Miami, and Los Angeles.
Returning to the UCB
Franklin on Tuesday, November 12th.
Go to
go to
ucbtheater.com
for tickets. See how I thwarted
you?
With a different thing to plug?
Oh, also, I'm doing two stand-up shows here tomorrow night at the Sack Punch
at 7.30 and 9.45.
Is anybody coming?
Gross.
Did you get that, Chewbacca?
Yeah.
She didn't care.
Chewbacca didn't like that. Chewbacca? Yeah. Chewbacca didn't like that.
Chewbacca's over there.
From the corrections department,
it's true, Tom Hanks and Henry Winkler
have not liked each other for years.
Yeah, I mentioned it on the podcast
and people were like, what are you talking about?
And I was like, okay, I take it back.
Ever since Henry was fired
from directing
Turner and Hooch
at Tom's request.
Yeah.
They've been not friends
ever since.
So,
at least they each have
one person
who despises
one of the most beloved men
in show business.
I love them both.
Who would you pick if you had to pick
between the two? Henry Winkler's
killing it on Barry.
And Tom is going to play the nicest
man that ever existed.
Fucking Mr. Rogers.
And that's what he went by off
camera. Fucking Mr. Rogers.
I brought a prize bag you guys
it's got stuff in it
starting with
you'll have your very own for free
Douglas Scary Movies poster
featuring all three of the
Scary Movies locations
that we did these shows this year
and they're exclusive. We only made like
a hundred of them, so if you want to
purchase one after the show, they'll be available.
Also available after the show will be
the pins you've probably heard about
from listening.
Doug Benson pin from rockandpins.com.
And
from my friends at Magical Butter,
a glove
you can put on your hand so that when you're fucking around with making butter, weed butter, you know, you don't burn yourself.
That's pretty smart, right?
And it's stylish.
It's a nice green, pretty green color.
And then Douglas Movies T-shirt.
And, oh, I was just in Denver and got one of these little
owls that you squeeze, a tension
squeezy thingy.
It's from a place called
Wise Choice Tattoo Removal.
So if you're in the Denver area
and you need a tattoo removed,
they'll give you one of these there
if you do it, and you squeeze it while you're getting
your tattoo removed, because it's more painful than when it's being put on, I'm told.
Yeah, a lady that runs the Wise Choice Tattoo
is also a waitress at the Comedy Works in downtown Denver.
And that's why you're going to get a copy of Colorado Traveler.
Is that what it's called? Yeah, that that what it's called?
Yeah, that's what it's called.
All of that, plus stuff brought by three really great guests.
These guys, you've seen them over the years.
You've probably seen all three of these dudes here at the Punchline with me.
And we've got them all together tonight.
Please give a big welcome to
Carlos Rodriguez,
N'Gayo Bielem, and Jeff
Tate!
Tate! Tate! Tate!
Tate! Tate! Tate!
Tate! Tate! Tate!
Tate! Tate! Tate!
Oh my god, the...
Are they saying taint?
The chanting, yes, they're yelling
taint over and over again.
Taint, taint, taint, taint.
Because that's such a fun word to say.
Taint?
Taint, yes.
You okay?
Yeah, yeah.
All right.
Let's say hello to them individually and find out about these crazy costumes.
I can't believe all three of them wore costumes.
Starting with the man
to my left, it's Carlos Rodriguez.
Bye, bye, bye.
He doesn't even wait anymore.
He just does it right away.
I didn't
comment on anything.
Omar, the assistant manager, was like,
hey, you want to wear my pagan costume?
And I was like, fuck it, let's run it.
So I threw it on.
Because it's like when you wait last minute
and you've got to pick whatever's at pick and save.
And you're like, fuck it, okay, I'm a Power Ranger.
Pink, fuck it.
Are you attracted to that panda over there?
Yeah.
Yeah, he's cool.
Yeah, you guys are both cold animals.
Panda, panda, panda, panda.
Remember that song?
What?
That song, panda, panda, panda, panda?
No.
You never heard that song?
You could say it as much as you want.
Were there other lyrics in the song?
All the lyrics.
He was like, panda, panda, panda.
Was that Future?
Was that some local Sacramento bullshit? It was designer.
Designer with two I's.
This is already a very informal show.
You're all speaking to us.
I don't know if you heard at the beginning of the show,
no shouting out.
He just
continued talking after I'm complaining
about people talking.
This is ground zero for what?
Amy Adams thing.
Oh, yeah.
Bring that up.
Also joining us tonight,
it's Nguy Ubylam, everybody.
Smoke weed, everybody.
Smoke weed, get laid.
How are you?
I'm doing great.
This has been a super fun Halloween.
I ate a traditional Halloween meal over at Outback.
Scary shrimp on the barbie.
Yeah, that's exactly it.
Did your Bloomin' Onion try to suck your face?
Did it just jump off the plate like Alien?
No.
I thought that was funny.
It was.
It was on theme and everything.
I thought so.
It was a movie.
It was a scary movie.
But speaking of being on theme, what's your costume represent?
Sexy Sun Ra.
Okay.
I mean Sun Ra, maybe.
Sorry, slutty.
Slutty Sun Ra.
Is that better?
No, it's too long of a skirt for that.
Fair enough.
You don't know Sun Ra.
That's the slutty version?
He would need a long skirt.
She's 14 feet tall.
And that, everybody, is Jeff Tate!
Tate! Tate! Tate! Tate!
Tate! Tate! Tate!
There it is. There it is. Boy, I mean, Tate, Tate, Tate, Tate, Tate There it is There it is
Boy, I mean, that's fun
You're never going to get tired of that, are you, Jeff?
How could you?
It's so cool
Like at your stand-up shows, people do that
People do it all the time, yeah
Oh, when they drive by you on the street, too?
Sometimes, if they know about it
Yeah, I'd hope so I'd hope to be like, if they know about it. Yeah, I'd hope so.
I'd hope to be like, don't know about it, aren't yelling at you.
No, but like, it's happened
at the airport.
It just happened.
I mean, and then at stand-up shows.
Those are the only places I ever am.
I'm just going to start flash-bobbing you
in the street, just finding friends.
Chef's coming out the In-N-Out Burger, everybody.
I mean, it's so cool
to have these. Look, there's like three guys that
are dressed like me
for Halloween. There's one guy right there.
He's clearly me.
There's me from six years ago
when it wasn't gray. I like that.
Good look. Very specific, right?
Oh, there's like six Jeff
Tates in the audience already.
It's dope. It's fun.
Will the real Jeff Tate please stand up already. Oh, it's dope. It's fun.
We're the real Jeff Tate.
Please stand up.
It's going to be that fucking panda.
I do want to point out some of the other costumes now that you're mentioning it, Jeff.
We have Park Ranger.
Is that what you are?
We have Hopper from Stranger Things.
Hopper from Stranger Things.
David Harbour.
All right.
And then is there a costume sitting next to you?
No I wear vintage clothes every day
She wears vintage clothes every day
So one day a year
People are like, nice costume
The rest of their time
They're like, oh, you're special
It's a dirndl, is that how it's pronounced?
A dirndl, yeah
There you go
For the people listening at home
Is that true of the lady with the Something shooting out of her head? A dirndl, yeah. There you go. For the people listening at home.
Is that true of the lady with the something shooting out of her head?
She's a flapper, yeah.
You're a flapper?
I'm a flame princess.
You're a what?
Flame princess from Adventure Time.
There you go.
Okay, so that's the thing.
Some of these things I don't get.
For the longest time, like, you know,
it's sad to admit I wasn't a Rick and Morty viewer.
And for the longest time,
every time I saw somebody dressed up as Rick,
I just thought they were Doc Brown from Back to the Future.
What's this guy right here?
What's that?
Oh, we already talked to them.
During that part where you were probably standing in the back
talking to each other.
But, yeah. So we don't need to go into that again.
All right, so what did you guys bring for the prize bag?
We'll start with Carlos.
What do you have for us?
I was, let me see.
It's a fanny pack.
Boom.
And I was at the Big Pine Festival,
and they gave us like a swag bag of shit.
And this was inside of it.
But I also stuffed it with free drink coupons for southwest airlines
hey can i see those
uh i uh like uh what would you call this
it's useful though right that's great yeah you can plug plug in six things as long as they're not Apple products.
You know how the fucking square on the socket
in Apple products,
they take up more space than one of those things?
Yeah, like an asshole parker?
Exactly.
That's what the Apple Corporation is.
One asshole parker.
I bought Modern Warfare today
and they gave me this limited edition dog tag so you can game and wear that. The Modern Warfare today, and they gave me this limited edition dog tag,
so you can game and wear that.
The Modern Warfare army.
Yeah, and there's a whole bunch of other cool little shit in here.
There's vitamin C and then glasses.
And gum and all kinds of crazy shit.
Yeah, you never know what's going to be in there.
Maybe $1,000.
Yeah, some knick-knacks.
Just a bunch of random things.
Just a little knick-knack, some shavers.
Yeah, it's a fanny pack full of shit.
Yeah.
Perfect.
Put that in there, though.
Oh, my bad.
I got it.
I mean, I'd hang on to that if I were you, because you might want to plug in many things
at once.
But that's cool.
Thank you for bringing all of that.
And also, just a heads up on these drink tickets.
They expire October 31st.
2020. 2020.st. 2020.
2020.
So you officially have a full year.
I was like, they just mailed those to me.
To drink it up on these flights.
I just got those yesterday.
That's why I checked, though.
Because whenever I get around to pulling out one of those coupons,
they've always expired.
Because I always forget I have them.
Drink faster, Doug.
This costume's hot as fuck, man.
It is.
Do you want to get out of it?
Are you shirtless underneath?
Yeah, I'm naked underneath.
But we could do that, though.
No, we don't.
We've had Bert Kreischer on enough.
He's like, fuck, man.
I love that the first thing you see
when you walk into the very newly designed
entry area here at the Punchline,
you see Bert shirtless almost immediately.
But then they've got a really cool little bar called the Callback Bar,
where it looks like they're also set up to do shows.
And that's also where we'll do meet and greet after the show tonight.
If you want to buy stuff or take pictures with me, I'll be hanging out in there.
Mgaio, what did you have?
I brought a joint.
Yeah.
From the Mgaio 420 line of fine cannabis pre-rolls.
This is a Tahoe Nebula grown in Mendocino County by beautiful hippies.
Lovingly harvested and carefully cured.
It's a notes of skunk
with a hint of pepper.
Just go ahead and put that in the bag.
You spoke like two of them last week
on Getting Duggar High.
It's good stuff, yeah.
You can find it at your favorite
Northern California cannabis dispensaries.
Yes, and I will be available
to smoke whatever you brought
immediately after the show. Yes, I will will be available to smoke whatever you brought immediately
after the show. Yes, I will.
As will Jeff Tate, I assume.
Yeah.
I mean, I won't smoke whatever
you hand me. This is a little too
inland for me to just take what I'm being handed.
What, you don't eat sushi in Denver?
It's not
the same thing. Okay.
What does being inland have to do with anything?
I mean, they do a lot of meth around here.
So you won't just smoke anything?
What, you're saying that nobody does meth at the beach?
Isn't that an emo band, Meth at the Beach?
It's too idyllic.
I have one of their albums.
It's too idyllic to do meth?
You know what?
So you're going to take it inland?
I guess that is what I'm saying.
What do you mean?
That's not what I intended to say, but I'll stand
by it. Nobody does meth
at the beach. Meth at
the beach. I brought the scariest
movie I've ever heard of.
And Jeff, great Smurf costume
from the forehead up.
Thank you. Right? I'm trying,
I'm playing a smurf
who's trying to assimilate
into,
like,
human society
and get the dirt
on all you dumb humans.
Humies,
we call you down there.
Look at these dumb humies.
Look at these smurfing humies.
These smurfing humies.
Yeah, you're right.
It was better.
Just trying to help.
I brought a movie.
It's very scary. It's called Scooby-Doo
and the Curse of the 13th Ghost.
Look how scary that is. That's three times
scary. Curse? That's already
scary. Ghost? Uh-oh.
13?
Shit. So scary.
Triscodescophobia. I can't even look at the cover. I'm afraid I'll have nightmares. Uh-oh. 13? Shit. So scary. Triska-desk-a-phobia.
I can't even look at the cover.
I'm afraid I'll have nightmares.
Good luck with that, you dumb humies.
Velma Daphne.
All right.
Good contribution there, Jeff.
Well, it's Halloween. I tried to...
I didn't have any of my own...
I don't have my own weed yet.
I do have one of Vingal's joints,
but I'm keeping that.
You know what I said to myself
when I saw that you brought this?
What?
Ruh-roh.
How good am I guessing?
That's quite enough of your hijikis.
I am dumb.
Yeah, you don't even have to be able to do a Scooby impression to say that one word.
Ruh-roh.
The skeletons are here late.
Oh, wow.
What an interesting entrance.
In fairness, their watch kept falling off.
Watch.
They didn't have the guts to get out of the car.
Hey, guys, where's David S. Pumpkins?
You're missing a guy.
You're missing a guy.
I'm sure you hear that all the time walking around.
It's two skeletons.
So it's a gentleman and a lady.
Are you a man and wife?
Skeletons?
Could be?
To be.
To be.
Oh, engaged?
One of them really long engagements?
Like you're, you know, you both are almost dead.
They're just boned.
Oh, okay.
They're just boning.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, that is bizarre when some people just come right in with the groans
before they stop and think about how brilliant that was.
All right, well, thank you for making an entrance.
And just at the front door, if anybody tries to come in
that's not wearing a costume, don't let anybody else in.
But if they're wearing a costume, then that'll be a fun entrance.
I would enjoy that.
Does nudity count as a costume?
No matter what they're wearing, let them in.
I can't believe I was suggesting not let people in.
Where were we?
We're in Sacramento
and it's
Doug Loves Scary Movies
so the question changes a little bit
at this point.
Instead of asking the last movie you saw
I ask for you
to recommend
a horror movie.
Tell us about one that you think is
really good. It could be something you've seen
recently. Forrest Gump. No.
Carlos?
A really good scary flick.
We were in Vegas and I just said
that's the only thing I can think of, the collector.
I'll go. Wait. So, yeah.
Now, let's recap.
I asked you this question a week or so ago.
Yeah.
And since then, you can't think of any other good horror movies.
I'm not a big, big horror guy.
But I guess, okay, I like Freddy Krueger.
So anything Freddy Krueger, watch that.
Okay. Nightmare on Elm Street 2, Freddy's Revenge?
Sure, if you want to get kinky.
I don't know if kinky is the right word.
It has a lot of gay stuff in it.
And, you know, the gym coach gets tied up
to the showers or whatever.
It's an interesting movie,
and a strange departure from the first nightmare
because they immediately
changed the rules
Freddy doesn't just
show up in dreams
it's the only one
in the series
where Freddy
shows up outside
of people's dreams
oh yeah in that party
yeah he just shows up
at a party
and fucks everybody up
and everyone's like
hey aren't you only
supposed to be doing
one at a time
inside our stupid
sleeping brains
but anyway
spoiler yeah I just drew that one and one at a time inside our stupid sleeping brains. Yeah. But anyway.
Spoiler.
Yeah.
I just drew that one out there because
it's considered to be
one of the worst
Nightmare on Elm Street
movies even though
it does have some
pretty cool stuff in it
and it also is
the subject,
the star of that movie
is the subject
of a documentary
I saw that was
really good.
What's it called?
Called Scream,
Queen, My Nightmare on Elm Street. It was about how this gay actor of a documentary I saw that was really good called Scream Queen
My Nightmare on Elm Street.
It was about how this gay actor
came off very gay in this movie
even though he wasn't supposed to be.
It sort of ruined his whole career.
That's crazy. The one that sucks though
is A New Nightmare. I didn't like that one.
The very newest?
The one where they change
actors? Yeah.
No, it, no.
It's like Wes Craven is in the movie.
What?
Wes Craven's New Nightmare.
Oh, yeah.
See, they made so many different variations on that series.
But that other one sucked, though, too.
You're right.
So anyone except those two.
Yeah.
The one with Robert Englund.
Any of those are good.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, Robert Englund, they decided to replace him.
Like, what's the point of that?
He was the best thing all the way through.
What, M. Guy?
I was singing Doing the Freddy.
Was that really a thing?
Yeah.
It was a song.
How does the dance go?
Can you do it?
I do not know how to do the Freddy.
Jeff's got it. Jeff's got it. He knows how to do it. M. Guy, you sing it, do not know how to do the Freddy Jeff's got it Jeff's got you
know I do it I've never seen any movies that's all right he'll do the dance do
it the Freddy I don't really remember how it goes but I can teach you how to
ducky well that's easy I just have to have dirt on my shoulders. Nice. I was just pretending to be a mean Logan.
What horror movie would you recommend, Nungayo?
Ooh, I like Cabin in the Woods.
I liked The Witch.
And I liked Hereditary, but not as a scary movie,
but more as a study of grief.
Oh, cool.
Well, I thought everybody did a really good job with their grief in that movie.
Interesting.
Now I've got to watch it again?
Yeah, with a keen and critical eye.
Yeesh, yeah.
I mean, I think the guy that made that in Midsommar, he's even been on this podcast.
I think he's extremely talented. Midsommar, he's even been on this podcast. I think he's extremely talented.
Midsommar was odd.
Making me very uncomfortable.
Just you.
At the movies.
He's like, this is really going to freak Doug out.
Yeah, I think he just set out to bug me
and everybody else loves it.
Jeff?
There's one called Found Footage 3D.
That's a real fun take on found footage horror movies.
It's exciting.
And it's in 3D.
And it's in 3D.
They're not lying.
I mean, you've got to have a 3D TV, I guess.
Yeah, could you recommend something that people can access and watch?
No, I mean, you gotta have a 3D...
You can watch it in 2D.
Oh, you can? Yeah, there's a...
It's just not...
It's called found footage 3D,
so it feels dumber.
But you can tell where the 3D parts
would be when somebody's decapitated
hand comes forward. No, no, that's the best part
about it. Well, generally, a well-done
3D movie, if you don't have the glasses
on, will look like blurry shit through the entire movie.
So I don't understand. Is this a
3D movie or not a 3D movie?
Where were you on the 9th?
Well, I saw it in the theater, and it was 3D
in the theater. And then I saw it on my TV,
and it was 2D on my TV. So there's probably it on my TV and it was 2D on my TV.
So there's probably...
How'd you watch it on your TV?
Carefully.
Sorry.
I just got it on iTunes.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
No, I'm just curious.
Yeah, there's like a version.
It's not like a fucked up version.
It's not like the 50s.
It's just different.
And that movie Willow Creek that Bobcat made about Bigfoot
is pretty scary
is it in 3D?
no
no it's not even in stereo
it's in mono
it's in hi-fi
thank you all the old people It's in hi-fi.
Thank you, all the old people.
Just all the hi-fi.
I don't even have a component system.
Now, since I know Jeff loves the last movie you saw question,
I'm going to go ahead and deviate from the scary movie thing and just ask Jeff, what was the last movie you saw?
Oh,
God damn it.
Parasite.
Oh.
Zombieland Double Tap.
I lied.
I tried to sound smart.
It was Zombieland Double Tap.
I tried to...
Well,
both movies have a bit of reading in them.
Yeah,
yeah.
They both have words on the screen a lot.
And... How was Parasite, though?
But Parasite is one of those movies that, you know,
everybody's raving about it,
and it's inching across the country and opening in more and more screens,
and, like, almost a perfect rating on Rotten Tomatoes.
And, like, I like telling people that they should see it,
but I don't like discussing anything else about it.
That's fine.
It's just such an interesting movie to go into cold.
When I see the TV commercials, I'm like,
oh, they're showing too much.
Oh, same with Jojo Rabbit, if you haven't seen that yet.
Don't watch the ads.
The ads just show moments from the last five minutes of the movie, practically.
Yeah, it's a bummer.
But anyway, so you like parasite jeff yeah very
much i love a movie that's got a point i can get right where i get it the first time through oh
fucking good movie yeah i believe the direct quote the first thing you said to me about it was it's
metaphorical yeah and i got it yeah he understood the metaphor so. Yeah, and I got it. Yeah, and he understood the metaphor.
First time through. That's pretty impressive.
We're so proud of you.
I'm not looking for you to be proud of me. I'm just
looking for people to make movies that are a little
easier to get.
That's very American.
That's very American of you, by the way.
I don't want to improve myself. Just make it easier for me.
When I saw it, there was a Q&A with the director afterwards, and very American of you, by the way. I don't want to improve myself. Just make it easier for me.
When I saw it, there was a Q&A with the director afterwards,
and someone, of course, raised their hand and said,
well, you know, what does the title mean?
Like, what is, you know, explain it.
And I was just like, what? You can't get that?
There's a scene in the Eagles documentary where Randy Meisner,
where they ask the guy in the Eagles
to explain what the song Take It to the Limit means.
And he just dead serious is like,
you know, you just really give it your all.
And then one more time means,
you know, you just do it again.
So you just take it to the limit one more time.
Right?
That's how I feel about that parasite quote.
What do you mean by,
what's Take It to the limit mean?
Anyway, that movie's also very scary.
It's only got Eagle songs in it, so it kind of sucks.
Terrifying.
What has Eagle, oh, that.
The Eagles documentary. Okay, so that's what you'd recommend as a scary movie,
is the Eagles documentary.
If you just want to have trouble sleeping.
Is it terrifying to have the Eagles songs?
I've always thought the hotel... Hotel California
sounds like a scary place.
They do not do a good job of hyping that hotel.
No, no, no. They stab it with their steely
knives. And you can never leave.
Those are both terrible
things in a hotel. They just can't kill
the beast.
Her mind is Tiffany Twisted.
Glenn Frey is there.
Oh, man.
It sounds brutal.
Don Henley is going through your recyclables.
He's forcing you to dance.
Digging through your hamper.
This guy might need a medic He's laughing so hard
He's really enjoying it
Best Halloween ever
Hindley and the hamper
He doesn't get out much
Because he's usually just at home with his cat
I didn't get a chance to ask you about your ears.
Are you a specific cat?
No, just a very sparkly one.
Just a sparkly cat.
I like it.
Metal detector's going off.
Oh, you couldn't get through the metal detector.
We're all good. That's good to know that it works.
I thought it was one of those
fake ones that they just put up to discourage
people with guns.
You gotta set it for weapons,
not weapons and whimsy.
Turn it down a little bit.
Or up. I don't really know how they work.
Just take it to the limit.
One more time.
Alright, turn it off, Bert.
Let the games begin!
Bring your name tags out of the shadows.
We've got lots of name tags tonight.
Sacramento never disappoints in the name tag game.
And ooh, there's even a Nightmare on Elm Street one, right?
Is that what that is?
That's funny.
That's coincidence.
All right, so go ahead and pick your name tags because they're already yelling shit out.
So I can't even, I'm not allowed to talk anymore.
We'll be right back.
Today's show is brought to you in part by Blue Chew.
Guys, remember the days when you were always ready to go.
Increase your performance and get that extra confidence in bed with BlueChew.com.
Blue Chew, that's blue like the color, brings you the first chewable with the same FDA approved
active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis.
Take them anytime, day or night, even on a full stomach.
Since they're chewable, they work up to twice as fast as a pill,
so you can be ready whenever opportunity arises.
If you could benefit from extra function and more confidence where it counts,
Blue Chew is the fast and easy way to enhance your performance.
Blue Chew is prescribed online and shipped straight to your door in a discreet package.
No in-person doctor's visit, no waiting in the pharmacy, and no more awkwardness. They are made in the USA,
and since Blue Chew prepares and ships direct, they're cheaper than a pharmacy. Visit bluechew.com
and get your first shipment free when you use the promo code DLM. Just pay $5 for shipping. That's B-L-U-E-C-H-U dot com promo code D-L-M to try it free.
Back to the show.
All right, we're back.
Good job, everybody.
It was a tough one.
It's hard to pick.
I know Jeff doesn't like to pick the name tags, but he went for it today.
Tell us about your name tag, Jeff.
I'm playing for Mark, and it's Army of Markness.
He made an Army of Darkness poster with, yeah,
and his name is Mark.
And I'm on it, and I don't know.
I can't tell who's.
Is that you?
That's me.
That's him. That's him.
That's Mark.
That's what people should do.
I don't know why I'm always the stars of these movies.
I hear a lot of speculation.
I appreciate it.
I appreciate being cast.
And then, but talk about.
So you picked it for that reason, not for all the stuff dangling off of it?
No, I really did pick it for that reason.
I got an Army of Darkness tattoo. It's got the full-size candy
bars. I love the King size.
It's like trick-or-treating at rich people's houses.
I really do
fucking love Army of Darkness
and Evil Dead and Ash.
I'll take all that candy then.
Not all of it.
I'll take all of it.
That name tag is 25,000
calories.
That name tag will 25,000 calories. That name tag will make
it really, really hot.
It really is.
It really is a lot of calories.
Oh, Flaming Hot Cheetos.
Can I have those at least,
Jeff?
Sure.
Look at the Charleston Chew.
Do you like Flaming Hot Cheetos,
Jeff?
No.
No?
Perfect.
I like old school
poofy Cheetos.
The regular.
The puff one?
The puff one?
The puff Cheetos.
Those are the best ones.
That's not American.
No, you're not...
I'll fight you right here.
I like the regular ones.
They have a flaming version of the puffy ones, too.
This is the crunchy version.
I don't like those.
Throw it back on the ground.
Give it back.
If I can't have them, nobody can have them.
Yeah, well, no, somebody can have them.
Give them to the pizza girl.
It's funny because they're not a chip, but they're in the chip aisle.
They are? What?
They're not a chip. It's dough.
Well, it's still a chippy snack.
Man, you are barking up the wrong tree.
I've been telling Doug that for years.
Yeah, right?
Why are Cheetos in the chip aisle?
Well, where would you put them?
We're going to have to take this to a different authority figure.
Where are you going to put them?
There's no puffed corn aisle.
Extracted corn and grease aisle.
What do you have there, N'Gayo?
I have in my hand here, it's the Sorensen in the woods,
so it's like the cabin in the woods.
And it's got me and Jeff and Doug and...
Dan Van Kirk.
Dan Van Kirk and...
Amy Miller.
Amy Miller on there.
That's a really nice one.
It's a really nice one.
I'm actually going to hang this in my office.
I don't think you get to keep it.
They probably want it back.
You can keep it.
No, I'm fucking keeping it.
I'm keeping it.
Look, and I get to... Thanks, Soren Look, I get to be the plucky stoner
who was right the whole time.
Which is my favorite part
about Cabin in the Woods.
Yeah.
I mean, if you look at this,
there's four of us are that.
Four of us are the plucky stoners
who were right the whole time.
It's kind of true.
We'll have to wrestle.
Sorry, Dan.
The plucky stoner.
All right,
what do you have here, Carlos?
I have,
since no one ever
puts me on a poster.
Let them know.
I took,
I took,
I took,
I took the one
from Nightmare on Elm Street,
but it's Nightmare
on Emmy Street.
Yeah,
and I don't know
how to take this tagline,
but it says, if Emmy doesn't wake up, and I don't know how to take this tagline, but it says,
if Emmy doesn't wake up screaming,
she won't wake up at all.
That's kind of sexy.
I mean, that was pretty much the tagline
for the first one.
Was it?
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, Emmy.
But it was, you know,
the name of the character in the movie,
not Emily.
What was the name of the character?
Her name was... Johnny Depp. Nancy of the character in the movie, not Emily. Who was the name of the character? Her name was...
Johnny Depp.
Nancy.
Nancy.
Okay, cool, yeah.
My first guess was going to be stupid.
But she's actually pretty, as horror movie characters go, she's actually pretty smart.
Anyway, I mean, she doesn't do as many dumb things as some of the other ones do.
So that's who we're playing for.
Let's play some games.
We'll start with
a little
something called Purple Rain Man.
This is a game that Jeff
excels at.
So this is going to be a real tough one
tonight.
I feel like we'll see. We'll see
what happens.
I'll give you the third build actors in actors in a movie mash-up title,
and you guys can start guessing as soon as you want.
Movie mash-up title?
Yeah, it's two titles, like Purple Rain Man.
It's two movies in one title,
and that movie, of course, would star Prince and Dustin Hoffman.
So this movie, I'm going to start with the third-billed people,
then second, then top build, and
then hopefully someone will
figure it out by then.
The Sting.
Okay, that's one title.
What would the rest of it be?
Oh, right.
The Sting Glorious Bastards.
Nice. That would be an example, but that's not what it is. The sting glorious bastards Nice
Would be an example
But that's not
That's not what it is
Okay I'm warmed up now
Alright
I'm serious about this
Being a tough one
And if you know
In the audience
Please don't
Please don't share
What the fuck
Okay
So tough
Doug can't get it right.
No, I'm like, I should have better handwriting skills.
I'm not familiar with his name, and now I probably wrote it down wrong.
Sound it out.
Okay.
No, I mean, I know.
You'll see.
You'll see.
Harvey Stevens and Kumail Nanjiani.
Oh.
I had a harder time with Harvey than with Nanjiani.
Those are the third build people.
Any guesses, Jeff?
Oh, no, he wouldn't be third build.
No, not yet.
Yeah, it's interesting.
Harvey Stevens.
Second build is Lee Remick
and Tessa Thompson.
Oh.
I don't know the first one.
Wait. No? Okay.
Carlos feels like he's only got half of it.
I only got half.
Top build. I don't know if this will help you,
Carlos.
Gregory Peck
and Chris Hemsworth.
Um.
Oh.
Oh.
Shh, shh, shh.
Um.
Anybody?
To kill a mockingbird in black
international.
Shit. To Kill a Mockingbird in Black International. I mean, that's close.
Wait, wait.
Oh, 12 Angry Men in Black International.
Oh, that would have been good, but no.
Oh, shit.
That's not it.
I mean, second build in 12 Angry Men is not a woman,
and Lee Remick's a woman.
Oh, I thought you said Leo Remini.
Also a woman.
Gregory Peck?
Still a woman.
So we got Harvey Stevens, Lee Remick, and Gregory Peck.
Kumail Nanjiani, Tessa Thompson, Chris Hemsworth.
And so you know what the last part of the first title is.
Yeah.
I do.
This turned out to be as tricky as I thought it would be.
Yeah.
And Gregory Peck is old, right?
Yep.
I mean, dead.
He's straight up dead and old.
Oh, man. Yeah, he looks dead and old. Aw, man.
He looks like our friends who came in late.
Lee Rimmick.
Okay, let's try it like this,
Angayo. One angry man.
Hey, you know what movie you guys could say you're from?
Skeleton Twins.
Boom.
You love that movie?
Jeff, what are you pointing at
yeah I was just
pointing at the skeleton
that was a good burn
I was letting him know
boom
you guys just got
got
alright so
I guess I have to
give it to the first
person to say
Men in Black
International
Men in Black
International
you were the first
to say that
no I wasn't the first to say it.
Jeff said it? Okay.
I knew what the second part was.
He's a half winner.
It doesn't really matter.
He just gets to go first in the next game.
Gregory Peck, of course,
starred in a... Also, it's
Halloween, so that's another reason
why I picked this movie. The Omen.
The Omen. The Omen. Ah! The Omen
in
Black International.
The Omen in Black International.
Yes. That was a tough one.
Very clever. That was suggested
by someone to me on Twitter.
The Omen in Black
International.
I think I went to a club.
What's that?
Nothing.
I think there's a sex club in Berlin called that.
See, that was worth saying.
To at least five people.
Yeah, you got some titters thrown out there.
Who doesn't like titters?
Show me your titters.
throwing out there?
Who doesn't like titters?
Show me your titters.
No takers on that, I guess.
No, they're laughing.
Tittering.
All right.
It's time to play Whose Tagline Is It Anyway?
or The Tagline Is Coming
from Inside the House.
Yeah. This is a game
where I read the
tagline of a movie. We'll start with Jeff.
And Jeff alone gets to try to
guess what movie this
tagline is from. And if Jeff
doesn't get it, then we
move to Engayo, and then
to Carlos. And if none of you get it,
we give up. I just say what the answer is.
And all these taglines
are according to
IMDB.
Because you're DB.
Because I am DB.
That's an excellent
hat, my man. Thanks, buddy.
I didn't want to be... I knew that by the end of the show
I should have some sort of costume on
because all of my guests have costumes.
He's captain of the IMDB, apparently.
Are those the Iron Man glasses?
And the Iron Man glasses, yeah.
These are Tony Stark glasses.
And they're too dark.
They're supposed to be the kind that get...
I think they're supposed to be the kind that get lighter
when you're indoors.
But you're under the lights.
They don't really.
What's that?
But you're under the lights.
Would the lights not trigger them?
I don't know.
All right, well, I tried.
Thanks for making excuses for Stark Industries.
You think I'm not asking them
to make me an entire Iron Man suit.
I just want glasses that aren't so dark inside.
Did it work?
Don't you have to say it out loud?
Don't you have to talk to the glasses?
Oh shit, I forgot to press the button.
Hey Jarvis, could you make
these glasses lighter?
Thanks Jarvis.
There's no way I could make the glasses lighter.
Was that a Paul Bettany impression?
That's for you.
Holy shit, Carlos.
You look like you're auditioning
for the role of Thurston Howell
in the Gilligan's Island reboot.
All aboard!
Lovey, dear.
Burp.
Lovey and I.
Was it Jim Backus?
Yeah, I mixed him up with his role in
It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World.
Fair enough.
He's a pilot who gets drunk and passes out,
and then Buddy Hackett and Mickey Rooney have to land the plane.
With Carl Reiner in the control tower.
Oh, man.
I'll tell you all about it sometime.
That sounds hilarious.
Yeah, sometime I'll give you a bedtime story.
I'll describe the entire plot of that three-hour weird-ass movie.
Okay, so we'll start with
Jeff, and I will say the
tagline, and you
will give me a guess, Jeff.
The sting!
It's not going to be the sting, man.
This isn't a pre-guess game. It's Jeff's
turn and Jeff's turn alone.
So just keep that in mind.
Don't guess at all. Until it's turn alone. So just keep that in mind. Don't guess at all
until it's your turn.
And not even then.
Here's the tagline.
Don't see it alone.
Seems like any goddamn horror movie
could have just slapped that on there.
Ooh, I want to change my horror movie.
What? What?
Alright, let's back up the tape.
What's your new answer?
Shit, I just
lost it.
You're the only one
who didn't smoke weed before the show.
His ADD kicks in. Don't see it a lot
Don't breathe, that's what it's called, don't breathe
Oh, you like that one?
Yeah, you remember that one?
Yes
Yeah, where he breaks into the house and the dude's blind and shit
Yeah, that guy's a scary actor
One of Jeff's favorites
We saw that movie in Chicago
And then we were in the balcony Remember, Doug? And then we look over and the bad guy in that movie in Chicago and then we were in the balcony.
Remember, Doug?
And then we look over and the bad guy in that movie
is sitting right next to us.
No, wait, nah.
And he still looked that scary.
He like dead-eyed us.
It's the Avatar bad guy, right?
Did you stop breathing?
I mean, I didn't breathe the whole time.
Jeff and I were at a horror film festival
and he was there because he's starring in the movie.
It wasn't that big of a surprise.
I clamp it in Tombstone as well.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's a great actor.
He's great.
Speaking of, I was going to say,
Don't Breathe?
Is that the movie?
Don't See It Alone?
Yeah.
Don't Breathe?
Yeah, I was scared.
I was scared the whole time.
They went double don't on that?
They doubled down on it?
Yeah, I love the Edgar Wright horror movie trailer in Grindhouse.
It's called Don't, and they just keep saying don't.
I forgot all about that.
Yeah, it's awesome.
People keep asking him to make it into a full movie.
He's like, what are you, kidding me?
Don't. And then movie. He's like, what are you kidding me? Don't.
Don't see it alone in Gaio.
Oh yeah, it's your turn in Gaio.
Don't see it alone
was the tagline
for the movie
Friday the 13th.
I don't know.
Oh, okay.
I mean, that could have been it.
For anything.
It could be the movie for anything.
It's just a fucking horror movie.
Forrest Gump.
Don't See It Alone.
You need someone to nudge you
when you nod off.
Movies aren't free.
That's why...
That'd be funny to go to the...
If you fall asleep in a movie,
just go up to the box office after it goes,
hey, can I get my money back?
I fell asleep.
I didn't really see the movie,
so you're charging me.
You're ripping me off.
Sir, you're not paying for the movie. You're paying for the comfortable
seat. Too comfortable.
This place that's right next door here
in Century.
They're like, you're crying to almost
laying flat. You can't go to the late
show. The downtown
theater ones, they have their heated seats.
You can press the button. Oh, no. Done. What the fuck? It's hot as fuck here most of the century. The downtown theater ones, they have their heated seats. You can press the button.
Oh, no. What the fuck?
It's hot as fuck here most of the year.
Not in the movie theater.
Yeah.
Okay, so where are we?
What did you guess? Friday the 13th.
Okay, and then Carlos?
Okay, so don't see it alone.
I'm gonna
say, I'm just gonna throw out Blair Witch Project.
That's another great guess.
You guys have great guesses.
Thank you, Doug.
Except for Jeff's.
No, I said Blair Witch Project.
Revisionist history.
The answer, Paranormal Activity.
Oh, shit.
From 2007. That's what I was going to say, too Activity. Oh, shit. From 2007.
That's what I was going to say, too.
It seems like, yeah, well, it was a big mistake, wasn't it?
Yeah.
You should have taken somebody.
That was close, though.
Yeah.
Down-footed shit.
I went and saw it with two people.
I saw it with a couple.
I'm going to drop a couple names.
I saw it with Edgar Wright and Anna Kendrick.
Wow.
When they were dating, they were like,
do you want to go see this movie with us?
And I had no interest in seeing that movie.
But to be the third wheel with those two,
I was like, fucking A.
Did you get to watch?
But why did you see the other six?
The other ones suck too, man.
They made six of those movies?
About, almost six
And neither one of them would hold my hand
It was very frustrating
Back to you Jeff
Nobody's on the board
It's anybody's game
Discover how the activity
Began the activity began.
I want to change my scary movie again.
No, this one is going to be like Paranormal Activity 5,
The Beginning.
Is that your guess?
I mean, that's as close as I'm going to get.
Okay, Mugayo?
The Purge, Year One?
That would be really interesting.
But no.
Carlos?
Basketball.
Is that why you wanted to change your answer to?
Yeah.
No, I changed my scary one to the green room.
Is that scary, though?
Because I thought about the green room,
but it's really more like suspense
than it is like scary or horror, though.
It's tense.
It's an intense movie.
I love that movie.
It's intense as fuck, though.
Fucking neo-Nazi skinheads are scary.
Yeah.
But it's not like a traditional scary or horror movie.
Yeah, but it's got that kind of violence and tension.
The scariest movie I ever saw
was an Albert Fish documentary,
and there was no gore.
They were just someone reading his letters.
We got a guy over here that agrees.
Terrified me.
I'm still terrified from that movie
and that was three years ago.
What's it called?
I can't remember.
Something about Albert Fish.
All right, well let this one guy tell us.
The guy that said yep.
What's it called?
I have no idea.
Steve D'Anell, you son of a bitch. I saw it at a
horror film festival. You stupid son of a bitch.
Oh, Stephen Lang
is the name of that actor, by the way.
How did these two have
the same dream?
Did you see it at the Colonial?
I saw it on like Netflix.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's terrifying.
Because he's a crazy ass
serial killer and they're just reading his letters
like I did not fuck her.
I felt I owed her that much,
but I ate her over the course of a week.
Oh, shit.
Right?
Yeah.
And that shit's real.
You're like, what the fuck?
So I'm just saying,
check it out.
You'll be terrified.
I want to change my scary movie to that one.
All right. So basketball, You'll be terrified I want to change my scary movie to that one Alright so basketball Basketball
Is not the correct answer
I don't know
I felt like it was right there for the taking
It's two isn't it
It's a little tricky because it's
Paranormal activity three
Three
I don't know why in two they didn't show us how the activity began.
They finally decided to go back to the beginning in part three.
I feel like a fool.
No, you had a great guess and then followed by two terrible guesses.
Because we pretty much established it was going to be a paranormal activity movie.
We probably did.
All right, Jeff.
We're back to you.
For the first time,
you will see the activity.
There's no way they would say,
for the first time,
if it was only the second one.
So this has got to be the fourth one.
At least.
Paraformal activity.
Paraformal.
I'm just wearing the tuxedo pants.
Dark side of the...
Sorry, no, it's paranormal-ate-tivity.
The ocho.
No, it's paranormal eight-tivity.
The ocho.
I'm going with paraformal activity.
That's it.
Yeah, you've already got the four in there.
Nope.
Paranormal activity two?
Nope.
All right.
Carlos? So this is, what is it? What's the tagline again? Nope. All right. Carlos?
So this is,
what is it?
What's the tagline again?
For the first time.
For the first time?
Okay, so like.
You will see the activity.
Deep throat.
They've gone through
all these movies
fucking you over
by never showing you
the activity.
Now finally,
you get to see it.
So the very first one,
the very,
oh, so the Christmas one.
So it's good.
Wow. Paranormal Nativity. to see it. So the very first one, oh, so the Christmas one. Wow!
Paranormal nativity.
Now do the noise.
Mer, mer, mer!
Chucky, ducky, clack, clack.
Is it the cholo one?
What?
There was a cholo one?
There were cholo activities?
Paranormal gay activity.
Is that your answer? No, there's a real Mexican one.
It's called de los de...
Fucking something.
Paranormal.
Yeah, Dios del...
I can't even say Dios.
Dios de los muertos.
Yeah, I got so stupid right now.
I do Duolingo.
I got a nice streak going.
It's in the 80s.
So you don't have a guest then?
No, just the negativity.
Other than the Dios de los muos, and leomertos.
Okay.
This one's awesome.
Paranormal activity, the ghost dimension.
Oh, of course.
So they fucking dropped this.
I guess it's part six.
So they just dropped the number, said, fuck the number.
Let's go with that subtitle thing that everybody's doing.
Yeah, exactly. Jeff, do you know
what to follow in the ghost
dimension? No. Ghost
protocol.
God damn it!
See, that was perfect, because either
you would have known the answer and everyone would have laughed,
or you said no and then I said
it. I knew that was foolproof.
I'm the fool and you're the proof.
Together we are foolproof.
We solve crimes on NBC.
No one watches it.
Come to the CBS Plus.
Okay, we're back to Jeff.
No one's gotten one of these right.
They're not easy.
But let's see if Jeff's picked up on the trend.
This time your parents are doing the activity.
This isn't your parents' activity.
This isn't your father's activity.
This isn't your father's activity It's all fun and games
Until someone raises the dead
Jeff real quick
Can you ask these two to
Oh they're just figuring out the check
Yeah yeah
I apologize
I mean I don't know why
I didn't know what
You guys were just really leaning in close to each other and talking.
I was like, oh, shit.
Something happened.
It's okay.
You're figuring.
They don't know percentages.
They're like fucking.
I mean, maybe you should let the person do it instead of the piece of pizza.
Watch the panda drink, you guys.
That was fucking amazing.
Did you see that?
Yeah.
That was crazy.
Take another drink, Panda, man.
I'll do it.
Watch this.
I'll do it.
That's the cutest shit.
You don't see pandas drinking out of mugs enough.
The sexual harassment panda.
You guys didn't see it,
but he went like this
and wiped his mouth.
He's got a lot of surface area to wipe.
Too drunk to do kung fu later.
To wipe his big panda face.
That's the cutest shit.
I'm glad you bought that outright
because if I were you
and I was wearing that
while I was trying to drink something,
I'd spill all over it, and then I would own it.
Can't return a rental covered in...
What was the tagline?
I'm going to guess the...
I'm going to say the Evil Dead.
Oh, okay.
Again, great guess.
What was the tagline again?
It's all fun and games until someone raises the dead.
Thanks.
Say it into the mic.
Oh, shit.
I'm sorry.
That's a great guess.
Tell my manager.
Jeff hates off the record compliments.
Let the jury know.
It's all fun and games.
Until someone raises the dead.
Debbie goes to Dallas.
Debbie goes to Dallas. Debbie goes to Dallas.
No, what he said, Debbie goes to Dallas.
I think that one had a different D word at the end.
It's all fun and games until someone raises the deck.
Debbie does Dallas.
Fuck, I don't know.
Oh, wait.
Okay.
I thought you had a guess and then we're moving on to the next player. know. Oh, wait. Okay. I thought you had a guess
and then we're moving on to the next player.
Encino Man.
Okay.
Carlos?
Jeff, that was great.
That was a great guess.
Thanks, we'll cut that so they're closer together.
Yeah.
We'll fix it in post.
It's all fun and games.
It's all fun and games until It's all fun and games until
someone raises the dead.
This coming this year.
That's going to be...
Oh, I know. This is easy.
It's the gate.
Okay.
You guys remember that horrible video?
Also still wrong.
Yeah.
The gate? The Gate?
What the fuck is The Gate?
You ever seen The Gate?
It sounds made up.
I'm just saying it sounds made up.
It's the one where the kid's in the hole under the bed and it's all the way to hell.
It's like a 1989.
No, you're talking about Little Monsters.
Oh, that's an awesome one, though.
Howie Mandel kills it.
The Gate is really a thing, Jeff, and a lot of people like it, but I think it's one of the few...
I think it's not R-rated.
It's not R-rated?
I think it's scary.
It's got scary elements,
but I don't think it's R-rated.
I don't think, but anyway.
None of those answers are correct.
Of course, that was the tagline for the movie,
Paranorman,arring Anna Kendrick.
I don't know why it keeps coming up.
But in conclusion of this game,
because we do need a winner,
and you never know when there's going to be nobody on stage
that knows anything about the paranormal activity movies.
They were obviously big enough to make a lot of them.
So as a tiebreaker going into
our final game today, let's do a quick
live-die-repeat.
I'm going to say the
full title of an actual
motion picture, and the first one of you
to repeat it back entirely and correctly
will win this
game of whose tagline is it anyway?
Paranormal activity
the
marked
paranormal activity of the marked ones.
Paranormal activity of the marked ones.
Paranormal activity of the marked
ones.
Who? The marked ones.
No, it's...
Because it's Mexican.
It's a Mexican movie.
It's Mark and Juan.
That's the one
where they're in East LA.
It's the Marked Ones
with an S
because, you know,
the Marked One
would probably be
a shorter movie.
Sure.
One dollar.
Yeah, but...
I couldn't tell.
Jeff, did you get...
Who got the whole thing out first?
I think Jeff said the whole thing.
Jeff had a good answer.
He had a good guess.
No, well, that's not what I'm asking about.
I'm asking about which one of you said it first.
And I think you also dove in on the last few words.
Yeah, he got it.
Yeah, yeah.
So we're giving it to Jeff.
He stuck his legs out.
He won by like a foot.
Yeah.
Hey, fucking, okay, hometown advantage.
He won by a foot.
Wait, you're asking to have hometown advantage?
No, I'm just saying I don't even get it because this is my hometown.
They don't give a fuck.
Right, but you gave it to him immediately for not even the right reason.
They're still supposed to be on my side.
They were still fucking.
Why would they be on your side when you're up here going displayed good sportsmanship, Carl. They were still fucking there.
Why would they be on your side when you're up here going, no, he should win.
Don't matter what.
Let us stick it in water.
I'm also from Sacramento.
Sacramento is my hometown, too.
Look how comfortable I am here.
Nice.
But you did have a good guess, though.
That was good.
Just be careful, Jeff.
Don't kick malistic pizza over there.
And Jeff gets to go first.
Surprise, surprise.
I don't know why we don't just call Jeff the winner and then just fuck around for a while.
But Jeff gets to go first in Last Man or Woman Stanton.
The sting.
It's not the sting, man.
Yeah.
And also, it's not a game where you just, it's not one of those.
Yeah, I know.
Anyway.
So Jeff is going to go first.
Then we'll go to Carlos, switch up the order, and then Ungayo.
And you have to take turns naming movies that the person I'm about to tell you their name is in.
And if you can't think of one, you're out unless you want to take advantage of your lifeline.
Jeff can go to Army of Markness.
And Ungayo can go to
I don't know where his name tag was.
Sorenson.
Yeah, Sorenson.
Go ahead and put it out in front of us
like I did with those other ones
so that I can read.
And then
Can you read them from there?
What's that?
Yeah, yeah.
And Emmy is who
Carlos can go to.
Oh, nightmare.
On my street. Is that happening? It does look like that. And Emmy is who Carlos can go to. Oh, nightmare. And...
On my street.
Is that happening?
It does look like that.
Uh-huh.
Oops.
Too hard to focus?
Jeff.
Oh, yeah, I'm into it.
Okay.
The films...
She's been in a few horror movies.
The films of Sigourney Weaver.
Yeah.
Oh, dope.
Alien.
Okay, I see what you did.
I know how you like it.
Aliens.
Oh shit, I'm sorry.
Just hang on a second.
Nobody's pointing, just hang on. I'll call your name
and then go ahead and give me an answer.
Why we're in a hurry to get to a grinding hall.
Alright, so.
Let's not talk at the same time.
It's all I ask from my guests.
Well, I ask a lot. You have to bring a prize.
Carlos.
I'm not going to say what I was going to say before because I forgot.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, I like to talk in between sometimes.
I'm sorry.
It's okay.
So I'll just go aliens.
Okay.
Okay.
You got to wait.
You have to wait.
No, you have to shut the fuck up
while I'm saying
for him to talk
you're gonna get us
all in trouble
too late
okay are you good Carlos
me
yeah yeah
when I was going to
Ngaio for his turn
you started talking
you see how
look at me at all times
you don't
there's no reason
to look at
the other guests. You'll know exactly
when it's time to talk because I'll be looking
at you.
I'll say your name.
Ungayo.
Gorillas in the mist.
Yes.
Let's check
in with the panda.
Panda.
Panda gives thumbs up to gorillas in the mist Alien cubed
Yeah it's that alien with that cute little
Little three above it
It's like it's a math problem.
For me, it was
a viewing problem.
Carlos.
Okay.
I loved it. I loved how
obediently you were waiting.
Like, ah!
Alien Resurrection.
Okay.
You guys are really harping on this alien thing.
Mgaio.
Working Girl.
She got nominated for Best Actress and Supporting Actress
in the same year for Gorillas in the Mist and Working Girl.
Boom.
Yeah.
They're saying ScarJo might pull that off this year.
GF.
Ghostbusters.
Yes.
No.
Carlos.
Ghostbusters 2.
Carlos?
Ghostbusters 2.
I like when... My favorite part of that movie,
and that movie's a little...
It's all right.
The ending...
I probably don't like the ending
with the Statue of Liberty.
It's not really a good...
After you've seen
the giant marshmallow man,
it's not as inspired.... After you've seen the giant Marshmallow Man, it's not as
inspired. But...
Yeah, but...
We don't have the rights.
We don't have the rights.
That was too good.
No, that was too good, guys.
It was like four seconds. It was fair use.
But in Ghostbusters 2, I liked when
what she says to
Bill Murray, she says,
help me put down the baby.
Help me put down the baby.
And he says, you're ugly and your mother dresses you funny.
Okay, where are we?
Whose turn?
It is, in in fact my turn.
I only know two Sigourney Weaver movies.
No, I'm kidding.
She's been in a lot of movies.
One of which I will reveal to you
soon.
Forthwith.
The title of which it is known by.
It came out in a year.
Well, let's go ahead and go to your lifeline
so you're still in it.
Yeah, all right.
And then by the time it comes back to you,
you might think of one.
Sorensen gave you a poster called Cabin in the Woods,
and it's sitting right in front of you,
and it features Sigourney Weaver.
Yeah.
No, she wasn't in Cabin in the Woods.
No, she's in it.
She sure as hell is in it.
Cabin in the Woods.
She's in that movie you were raving about earlier. Where, she wasn't in Cabin in the Woods. No, she's in it. She sure as hell is in it. Cabin in the Woods. She's in that movie you were raving about earlier.
Where is she?
Am I thinking of a different movie?
I have no idea what you're thinking about.
What part does she play in Cabin in the Woods?
She's the part in Cabin in the Woods.
She's the reason all of it is happening.
She's the director.
When they found out.
She's the cabin.
Sigourney Weaver plays the cabin.
Okay, yeah, you guys are right.
She played the cabin, and Elijah and James played the woods.
Nice.
All right, you're still in it, Ugaio.
Jeff.
Thank God.
I kept waiting for you to look down and see the poster and realize.
It's not like her fucking picture is on the poster.
No, it is true that it's a big reveal
that it turns out to be her
at the end
and it's quite amazing.
We all ruined it.
Like the whole theater gasped
when I saw it.
Jeff?
Baby mama.
Okay.
Yeah, she's a baby mama.
Starring our friend Dex.
Come on.
Dex Shepard. Carlos.arring our friend Dex. Come on.
Carlos.
Is she?
Galaxy Quest.
Damn it.
Yes, Galaxy Quest. I just watched that.
Never give up.
Never surrender.
Or is it the other way around?
Yeah, I think you're in trouble now, N'Gario.
I am in trouble.
Galaxy Quest 2, the search for Spock.
Yeah.
That was a joke.
Okay.
She was also in a movie.
You know the one with the guy in it.
Break it down for us.
And they did some things
I think she was half naked
oh no what was the one
oh god damn it
say it
do it
spit it out you got this
oh no wait no
ah shit ah fuck San Salvador I don't know Oh, no, wait, no. Ah, shit.
Ah, fuck.
San Salvador, I don't know.
Oh.
I don't even know if that's a movie.
Yeah, no, it's a movie.
There was Salvador.
Salvador, yeah.
With James Woods, but she wasn't there.
Salvador.
So fuck it.
I tried, man.
Okay, you did.
The guy is out.
I'm keeping the poster.
Sorensen wants you to have it.
Jeff?
Copycat.
What happened, Guy?
Did you just think of another one?
No, I just can't believe I didn't.
Anyway, you say copycat?
Okay.
I don't remember.
Did I say copycat?
Yeah.
I would also like to say copycat.
Sounds like something I'd say. Okay? Yeah. I would also like to say copycat. Sounds like something I'd say.
Okay, Carlos.
Copycat two,
the carbon papers.
Ditto.
Finding Dory.
She's the voice
of the amusement park.
Whoa.
Yeah.
There's an amusement park
in Finding Dory?
Yeah,
that's where they go
find it, in the aquarium.
No, fuck you.
Whoa!
First of all, it was them that said it.
Oh, what?
No, they're the ones that said
that it wasn't, so just don't yell at them.
They didn't do it.
He was just doing a general yell into the darkness.
I was being silly. The listeners wouldn't have known where he was looking.
But
that's back to you, Jeff.
Oh, Avatar.
Yes.
Everyone thought of that one
immediately. I forgot she was in it.
Anyway. Carlos. Everyone thought of that one immediately I forgot she was in it Anyway Carlos
Got a lifeline still right
This is yeah
You can still go to Amy
Oh oh oh
She's
It's with Jennifer Love Hewitt
Heartbreakers
Heartbreakers Heartbreakers
yes
Sarah Silverman and Zach Alvinakis
and Gene Hackman
weird movie
Jam
The Ice Storm
ooh very good Key Party The Ice Storm. Very good.
Key party.
Carlos?
I have no idea.
She had a cameo in the reboot Ghostbusters.
Yep.
I'll take it.
Jeff?
Does my lifeline have one?
I bet your lifeline does.
You're only asking if the lifeline's ready?
Yeah, I'm asking if the lifeline is ready.
No, you're not.
The lifeline might be tapped.
Markness?
We've said a lot of them.
We have said a lot of them.
Yeah, you guys have.
I haven't.
I'm not playing.
Oh, The Abyss.
What?
What?
I don't know.
Oh, shit.
The way you said it, I was like, oh!
That's a different lady, right?
Yeah.
Should I go?
Yeah, that's the lady.
That's Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, if that's who you're thinking.
No, I was thinking of Ed Harris.
So do you want to officially go to your lifeline?
I'm trying to right now, but he seems like he's out.
Mark's got nothing?
He's done.
Yeah.
All right.
And Carlos has another one?
Yeah. He's done. Yeah. All right. All right. And Carlos has another one? Yeah.
Holy shit.
Not only is Carlos the winner, but he's going to impress us with another one.
You don't have to, but you just said you had one.
Okay.
If I get it wrong, if I fuck up, it's okay though, right?
Yeah, you're right.
I just said you're the winner.
Okay, cool.
I want to say tadpole.
Tadpole.
Yeah, maybe. Like want to say Tadpole? Tadpole? Yeah, maybe.
Like a rich lady or something?
It was the little boy is like, there's a kid, and then she's dating the dad or something like that.
Yeah, you know what I'm talking about?
We got confirmation from the crowd.
The panda's nodding yes.
If the panda approves.
If Panda Man approves, you know it's legit.
You know what I'm talking about?
I think Lilith is in that movie from Cheers.
Oh, okay.
Baby New Earth.
Yeah.
BB News.
Okay, so that means that you did it, Carlos.
Yeah.
Very impressive win.
You really, it was like an underdog story.
Yeah, people are chanting your name.
Now hometown loves me.
It's like,
this is, fuck,
that's how it happens.
It's finally going to happen for you, Carlos.
You can...
I could get on a poster,
maybe.
In my own goddamn town.
That's the thing.
People are going to get burned
the next time I come
to Sacramento.
You won't be on
and then all the posters
will have your face on it.
That'd be the greatest.
We'll all have a great big laugh.
But come on up here and get
your prizes. Emmy. Emmy
gets the prizes, right?
There's a little staircase right
over here. Try to come around
this way.
I mean, it could have... I don't know.
Could have just handed them over.
I don't want anybody to fall down trying to
step up onto the stage
So the safest route is best
But that poster and this
Oh you got a nice cool sweater
All the stuff in that bag and the poster are yours
Congratulations
Yeah you win all of it
Do you want your poster back
Do you want your poster too
Do you want it Carlos
Your face isn't on it
My face isn't on it
I do make an excellent Freddy Krueger Do you want it, Carlos? Your face isn't on it. My face isn't on it.
I do make an excellent Freddy Krueger.
Great job, Emmy. You did it.
Good job.
Let's do some plugs, Carlos.
What do you got coming up?
Where can people see you?
I will be at the Laugh Factory this weekend.
And then I'll be at the Reno Tahoe Underground,
and then Rooster Teeth Feathers.
That's boom, boom, boom, all the weeks over.
Nice.
You can find me at Carlos Comedy, Twitter, and Instagram, and my website is carloseshelladumb.com.
Is dumb spelled correctly?
Yeah, with two Bs.
Mgaio. spelled correctly. Yeah, with two Bs. Mgayo!
Ashland Armory
in Ashland, Oregon
on November 9th.
Harlow's, November 10th.
Laughs Unlimited
in Old Sacramento,
November 15th
through the 17th.
You can buy my free rolls
at your favorite shop
in Northern California,
also through
iHeart Canada Delivery Service.
And then also,
I'm hosting a trivia show
on HelloMD, the app.
So if you download the HelloMD app, I host a cannabis trivia show.
You can win up to $500 Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays at 1 p.m.
on the West Coast time.
Whoa.
So please.
Say that again.
HelloMD is an app.
It's a Hello Doctor.
They also have HelloMD.com. But in Hello Doctor right they also have
HelloMD.com
but we play the game
on the app
and you just sign in
does it
if you
once you're on the app
does it remind you
which days the game is
turn on your notifications
alright cool
cool
cause I can't
it was so much information
I don't know if I
I can't take it all in
you can rewind it
and play it again slower
I'm not gonna listen to this
and
I heard this shit.
Jeff Tate.
Oh, NGIO420
of all the social medias.
NGIO420.
Jeff.
I'm at Jeff Tate on Instagram
and I have a podcast with my brother
called Alter Tates.
And on November
7th
in Dayton, Ohio,
I'm part of the
Super Dope Comedy Festival.
So check that out.
789 is the festival.
I'm on shows on the 7th.
Yeah, it's at a house.
It's going to be awesome.
We'll be able to smoke weed.
Woo-hoo!
Oh, yeah!
In Dayton.
I mean, it's not legal, but...
Civil disobedience.
You're not doing anything wrong.
Exactly.
That's the right way to put it.
Thank you, Doug.
That's what I meant.
You had some great guesses, Jeff.
All of my dates and deets
are available for you looking
at perusal at DougLovesmovies.com.
That's Douglovesmovies.com.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Okay, I think I was pretty smart to save that for the end.
It's so tight everywhere. It's so tight.
Everywhere, it's really tight, that part.
It just gets longer and longer.
It does keep getting longer, but
people changed the order around tonight.
I guess
maybe I should give more warning that it's about
to happen. What's the order?
How is it supposed to go?
People
that listen all know the answer to that.
Okay.
So we don't need to tell them right now.
The Lord is with thee.
Yeah.
And one more time for all my guests,
Jeff Tate, Mugaya Bilem, and Carlos Rodriguez.
Yes.
We'll see you guys out at the We'll see you guys out at the merch table
Photographs are always free
And as always
Oh and thank you to the punchline here in Sacramento
What's that?
What's up?
No now I'm asking you so go ahead and tell me
You want this paper? That's funny the guy dressed up as a monkey What's up? No, now I'm asking you, so go ahead and tell me.
You want this paper?
That's funny.
The guy dressed up as a monkey at the last show in Denver wanted this piece of paper at the end of the show.
And now this person wants a hat.
Are we just auctioning off everything I am?
All of my shit?
It's like a yacht rocker.
No, I'm not going to sell it.
I wonder if the listeners will find this interesting.
The people in the audience just keep talking to me
while I'm trying to wrap up the show.
Usually it's Jeff Garlin who does that.
As always, positive energy!
Thanks again to Blue Chew.
Increase your performance
and get that extra confidence in bed with Blue Chew.
The first chewable with the same FDA-approved active ingredients And to Blue Chew, increase your performance to get that extra confidence in bed with Blue Chew,
the first chewable with the same FDA-approved active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis.
Blue Chew is prescribed online, works faster than a pill, and can be taken any time. Visit BlueChew.com and get your first shipment free when you use the promo code DLM.
Just pay $5 for shipping.
Promo code DLM.
Just pay $5 for shipping.
That's B-L-U-E-C-H-E-W.com.
Promo code DLM to try it free.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you.
Because Doug loves movies.