Doug Loves Movies - Ngaio Bealum, Rory Scovel, and Keith Lowell Jensen Guest
Episode Date: January 22, 2013From the Punch Line in Sacramento, CA, Doug welcomes Ngaio Bealum, Rory Scovel, and Keith Lowell Jensen to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Noti...ce at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates candy wrappers, greenie babies, sticky seeds
With 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies
Hey everybody
My name is Doug and I love movies
This is Doug Loves Movies
coming to you from the Sacramento
punchline. I should have done that old gag
where you turn and look at the, oh, yes,
Sacramento.
Because the state capitol is so beautifully
rendered
on the wall behind the
comedians. Because there's nothing better
than to go to a comedy club to escape
the everyday horrible
politics
and then see the Capitol building
in the background
for the entire damn thing.
It's Monday, January 21st,
2 Oceans 13, Martin Luther King
Jr. Day observed.
Inauguration day
and it is
sure
glad you're into it
I just watch the coverage
all day long it's just endless parade
and
I just laid there in my bed and went
I am celebrating something
that happened
and it's 420-ish
and we're at the How About Arden Mall that happened. And it's 420-ish!
And we're at the How About Arden Mall,
which I like to call the How About a Smoke Sesh Mall.
Yes, Grandma Wood calls it a zombie mall.
Since last I spoke and you listened,
I did a set in Sam Tripoli's Naughty Show
at Vinyl in Las Vegas,
and I want to thank everyone who came
to that show and flashed their
tits to win a dildo.
That's easy
to follow when you just have jokes
about smoking weed.
On Saturday, I finally
recorded the third tournament of championships,
which is available soon or now in the comedy album section of iTunes for $2.
Jon Hamm, Andy Wood, and Kate Micucci went head-to-head-to-head,
and the winner will move on to the first super tournament of championships
where he or she will compete against the first
championship winner Matt Bronger and the second
winner
Sam the Ma'am Levine
aka Lil Wolverine
I love that
a guy in the audience yelled out Lil Wolverine
and he did it in a fun way
Lil Wolverine
from the corrections department And he did it in a fun way. Lou Wolverine!
From the corrections department,
I had Chris Evans and Martin Starr on the show together
so they could talk about a movie.
Yeah, they did a good job,
according to three of you.
But they did a movie together,
and that's why they were on the show together,
and both of them completely forgot to mention it.
Even when I asked them directly,
do you have any projects coming out?
No, we're good.
And I'd tell you what it was called right now,
but I forgot to look it up.
Is Devin back from yesterday?
Did you bring your crazy sign?
You did not.
You left that hazard at home.
It was beautiful from a distance and ugly up close.
And do you still have your wallet, Devin?
Yes, I do.
Okay.
I say set your wallet free, Devin.
Like Django.
You got to go back
If you weren't here yesterday
You gotta listen to yesterday's show
Which we put up today
Because Devin was a good sport
About his chain wallet
Do you feel left out
When you're watching
One of those banking commercials
And at the end they go
They don't say,
what's in your chain wallet?
Hey, are any of y'all gonna road trip
out to San Francisco
to see any of my movie interruptions
during SF Sketch Fest?
A few of you.
Very nice.
I'm showing Catwoman and Anaconda next weekend,
which I think that should be a movie title, Catwoman and Anaconda next weekend which I think that should be a movie title
Catwoman and Anaconda
they team up
because they both want to eat Jennifer Lopez
so that's next weekend
and then we're also doing
The Notebook and Twilight part 1 of 5
and
those are going to be in February.
Go to sfsketchfest.com
for deets and tickets.
I'll see you at the movies
that I'm going to talk
during.
Now it's time for Watch This, Not
That, audience edition.
We had a good one
last night.
The only half of it I remember is
My Cousin Vinny
It was My Cousin Vinny versus Superbad
So that was not a difficult decision for me
Because I love the movie Superbad
What's the movie that you like, sir?
Man on Fire
Man on Fire
Now I'm not talking about just a quick YouTube clip
I'm not talking about just a quick YouTube clip. I'm talking about
You'd have to click on that, right?
Man on fire.
Let's ask this dude. What's a movie
that you like?
What kind of, like, is it supposed to be funny or
How dare you.
This lady's over here yelling at a suggestion.
No, just a movie you like.
Oh, okay.
Well, I like Woody Allen movies,
so like Crimes and Misdemeanors.
Crimes and Misdemeanors.
So we've got Crimes and Misdemeanors
versus, I don't even remember.
Oh, Man on Fire.
I like Tony Scott.
I like Denzel.
I even like, what's her name?
Isn't Dakota Fanning in it?
Yeah.
What?
Her name in it is Lopita?
Lupita?
Dakota Fanning's name is Lupita.
A white girl named Lupita
being protected by a gigantic black man
who shouldn't be flying a plane
under his...
in that condition.
Dude, I'm sorry, but Crimes and Misdemeanors
that is
fucking... that's the one Woody Allen
movie that has drama and...
I shouldn't say the one, but it's one one of my favorites as well so i have to say uh watch crimes and misdemeanors not man on
fire this has been watched this not that audience edition let's look in the prize bag
what's in the prize bag
it's a heavy one, you guys.
So there's some good stuff in here
or just some heavy items
that you're going to be like,
mad you have to carry around
because you're going to probably go out
and get crazy tonight, right?
I'm okay.
Somebody brought the book
called Walter the Farting Dog.
God, I wish one of my guests today was a farting dog.
How many names do you think you could get it in, farting dog?
Okay, he says three names.
John Hamm.
And also a copy of Go the Fuck to Sleep.
If you can't afford Samuel L. Jackson's audio version.
If you can't get the audio book to play for your kids.
We got some CDs by some of the guests that are coming out here.
And one from me, of course,
and a sticker that we'll talk more about in a second,
and a Douglas Movies T-shirt,
and, oh, this thing, this is a lot of fun.
Oh, shit, I threw it into the audience.
You keep it.
And, oh, there's just too much stuff in here
oh and this t-shirt
which I don't even know who gave it to me
but I got it from somebody
and I don't know what it means or anything
but it's not a bad shirt
it's just too small for me
and it says
what does it say on it?
simply complicated
so that's a plug for them
and whatever that means.
Please help me in welcoming to this stage
Keith Lowell Jensen, Rory Scoville, and N'Gayo Birem.
Hey, fellas.
Hey, Doug.
How's it going?
Good.
So that, yeah, you heard me.
One of the guessies.
My wish came true.
Man, I had a lot of bacon.
I've really been farting, dog.
So you,
and Guy O'Belum is here, everybody.
And you,
local phenom.
Right hander out of nowhere.
You brought those crazy books.
My friend Patrick is in here somewhere.
I think, there he is.
He brought the crazy books right there.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Well, he handed them to me because he's terminally shy,
I guess.
Did you write them?
I couldn't find you.
Did you write them
or create them?
You just stopped
at the bookstore
and got some fun books
and then gave them
to a guy who probably
forgot to bring
something to give away.
No, he didn't forget.
You brought this.
Can you tell them
what this is?
That's a sticker
and a CD download of my latest CD called Weed and Sex.
Wait, those are the two things I talk about in my comedy.
How dare you?
Great minds, great minds.
How do you do it?
All right, so there's a download code on the back of that,
so I'm going to throw that in the bag.
And then Keith Lowell Jensen is here, everybody.
Let's hear it for him.
First time guest.
Very excited to have you here.
And you brought your own.
Nobody that didn't know us thought I was in Gaio.
What?
When they saw us sitting here, no one went, I bet that's in Gaio.
I bet it's that one.
I don't know.
You think I could pull it off?
You do have a mustache.
Is that an Gaio thing?
This is the whitest mustache in the world.
There are definitely black guys named Keith.
Yeah, but not with a stache.
And what did you bring?
You brought your CD?
I brought my two CDs that I have so far.
I have a third one coming out called Elf Orgy,
but it's not out till the 19th.
So I couldn't bring you it.
Of probably February? Yeah. Because the 19th. So I couldn't bring you it.
Of probably February?
Yeah.
Because the 19th of January just happened.
Right.
Then I would have had it.
It was quite recently.
Yeah.
Quite recently.
Well, thank you for being here two days ago.
Has it been that long?
What?
Has it been that long? It has. R Roy Scoville is a third guest on the panel.
How many how many black guys named Keith have a mustache out of the
entire population? Do you think cool does sometimes Facebook graphical
tell you Keith sweat has one.
I want to take this question seriously.
I don't want to ask.
I asked it very seriously.
I think Keith David has a mustache in some roles and not in others because he's versatile
black guys named Keith or white guys named Keith.
I just there aren't any other white guys named Keith.
Just me and Keith Partridge Keith Richard.
He's not white.
Have you listened to the man?
Yes, he's pretty white. Yeah, that's true,
but he's really good at it.
He's a great white.
He's one of
the greater whites.
Keith, that's what we call him at
white place. I'm glad that on
this holiday we could talk about some great
whites in history over here at white place. I'm glad that on this holiday we could talk about some great whites in history.
Over here at white place,
I'm trying to imagine the commercial for white
place. I was in the white place, but it must
have been a long time.
So I had to dim
some
right by the color of his skin,
but by the quality of his race jokes.
Yes.
It's N-G-A-I-O.
What's his name-o?
4'20".
That's the easier part to remember.
There are 419 other Ungayos.
Ungayo 420.
Ungayo 420 on Twitter.
And frequent Doug Loves Movies guest.
Have you been to the cinema lately?
I know you've got a child situation.
I saw the Django.
With your kid?
Not yet.
Maybe the 14-year-old might go.
The 11-year-old probably not ready.
So maybe 14 is okay for watching Jamie Foxx hanging upside down.
Wait, I haven't seen it.
I haven't seen it.
With his junk.
I haven't seen it.
What do you mean?
I haven't seen it.
Go home.
I'm a member of White Place.
I refuse to see it.
In the South, they don't have it in 3D,
but you can wear a hood while you watch it.
Sorry, people in the South.
Sorry, the South.
Sorry, Southern listeners.
I've been there.
They know.
Yeah, I guess they do.
They're always very apologetic i
guess they know sorry we're us now so where do you stand on the whole uh django like did you
enjoy the experience i enjoyed it i thought it was a pretty good movie i mean i didn't take it
as anything other than a movie it's quentin tarantino for crying out loud. It's not Fellini or Buñuel
or shit.
Yeah, it's none of those guys.
I mean, it's not like...
It's none of those guys
in their slave westerns.
And that's my point.
He's fucking making
a slave western.
Just the fact that he did it
is pretty awesome.
Yeah, man.
I thought it was hilarious
and shit explodes
and people talk shit
and Samuel L. Jackson's hilarious.
I didn't tell you any plot.
Well,
you said stuff explodes.
Jesus.
Yeah.
It's like someone fires a gun.
No,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, surprised by that. You can hear this. You can hear this. Jamie Foxx is in it. He plays
Django.
Yeah, I heard that.
I don't want to know which person plays which role.
No one ever goes to that extreme.
Could you just blindfold me
and roll me up to the theater
and then take the blindfold off when we get in?
I don't even want to know movie it is.
Just tell me I'm going to a movie.
Do you do that
with movies you're
really excited about
where you avoid the trailers
and everything?
Oh no.
I do the trailer
way too much.
Yeah, yeah.
I watch it over and over
again like a weirdo.
You show up at comic book cons.
Okay, in the trailer
like at the 14th second,
there's a weird color switch.
I didn't see that in the movie.
I'll watch it once.
If I'm in my seat in the theater,
I'll watch the trailer once.
But then after that,
I don't want to see it again.
What if you're standing in front of your seat
at the theater?
Then I might bolt.
And if it's not busy,
like if it's a matinee
and it's not busy in the theater,
the time for that trailer
that you don't want to see again,
the length of time it's on
is perfect for going
and buying a snack
or going to the bathroom
or something.
Or smoking weed
in the bathroom.
It's like two minutes.
Yeah, or hitting the vaporizer
in the bathroom.
There you go.
My volcano has to warm up, though.
Don't you?
But aren't't sometimes trailers,
sometimes there's always a trailer that's really quick?
Do you ever think when you see that?
Pretty rarely, pretty rarely.
But when you see that, do you think even they are like,
well, this is kind of shitty?
Here's a couple things.
Oh, shit.
Don't show them too much.
They won't come.
We've got three best parts.
We'll show one part.
I wish they'd stop making teaser trailers.
I don't need a trailer that's
just like a long
tracking shot and they finally pull back and it's
the Enterprise and you go, okay, that's
really not telling
us anything. We might as well just
put Star Trek on the screen and then move on
to the next trailer. New Star
Trek's a-comin'! Just have like a
newspaper boy on a corner.
X-ray, X-ray, read all about it. That would be cheaper. Get your papers. A new Star Trek's a-comin'. Just have, like, a newspaper boy on a corner. X-ray, X-ray. Read all about it.
That would be cheaper.
Get your papers.
A new Star Trek is comin'.
That could be your niche.
Man, if I went to a movie and Doug just came up on the screen,
he's like, hey, everybody, new Star Trek.
That's what trailers should be.
Just like, why do you need to see any of it?
It's the fuckin' new Star Trek.
Right, I don't want to see any.
What do you think?
It's suddenly gonna just take place in a courtroom.
I wonder
if it'll have spectacular visuals
if all if all this literally
was the trailer. You see just
a shot of you saying what you just
ranting about it. Yeah, you know, he's
right. Have you seen this? I'm happy
it's coming. Have you seen the new Star Trek trailer
that way? It does have something you didn't know
which was going to be in there,
which is brooding and heavy expressions
and all that Twilight bullshit
to make sure those fans come and see it.
That's what they're trying to get in front of people.
The last one was pretty broody.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you know, Spock,
with his no emotions,
he's almost more emotional.
Right.
Kind of emo.
That's the whole point.
I like that.
As a nerd, that was one of the things that I really enjoyed in the rebooting.
Is that what the kids call it?
The rebooting of the Star Trek franchise?
No, the rich adults call it that.
They have.
The ones that are four-year-olds.
The ones that are green rebooting.
That's when they put you back in the trunk in London.
Now.
I like watching the wave
of people getting that
and like travel through.
It's obscure,
but it's fast.
I appreciated the fact
that the Vulcans
had to control their emotions
not because they didn't have any,
but because they had
a whole fuck ton of them
and they would kill everybody
if they weren't cool all the time.
That was in there?
That's the whole point
of the reboot of the Vulcan thing.
Really?
And I enjoyed that.
That's why I always identified with Mr. Spock.
Yeah, right?
Because you have to smoke weed to keep it cool.
Well, I don't have to smoke weed.
And he has to have no emotions to keep it cool.
My dad might be listening.
I don't have to smoke weed.
Your dad listens to this?
No, I'm saying he might.
I don't fucking know what he does.
They don't talk.
I'm not his boss.
Do you think he Googles?
He's retired.
Does he Google your name?
Does he sit there?
N-G-A-I-O.
He probably sings it out just like that.
I just pictured Spock's birthday when they're all singing happy birthday.
And you're like, I would be happy about this, but then I would kill all of you.
Thank you.
It's a lovely gift.
Thank you. Look, I mean
it. I was surprised.
I was surprised.
I can't show it because you'd
be dead.
What have you seen lately, Rory Scovel?
Oh, God, what haven't I seen?
You were telling me...
Just Django.
You haven't seen Django, yeah.
Correct answer.
Well, you gave me the disappointing information
that Life of Pi has no desserts in it.
Whatsoever.
Yeah, just fat dudes eating pizza the whole time
Wait what?
It's a pizza pie
Life of pie
Pizza pie
But you didn't think that movie was so hot?
I thought it was alright
I was high
It was like the Cinerama Dome
3D
3D?
So like even if it's shitty
I'm like well it still looks cool
You know what it's still, I'm like, well, it still looks cool. You know what?
It's still an experience.
I thought it was okay.
I'm not going to see it again.
Okay.
I was going to try to talk you into it.
I'm not going.
Come with me, dude.
Doug's over here checking his Facebook.
No, I got to, you know.
Talk me into it like it's Burning Man.
No, just try it again, man.
Just give it one more
This is my fourth time
Are you sure?
Nothing has happened yet
Base nectar is going to be there
Keith what have you seen lately?
I don't even know if Rory
Answered the question
Life of Pi
Oh yeah you did see that
But I brought that one up.
Oh yeah.
I saw Wreck-It Ralph.
Yeah, you loved it.
I loved it.
That was great.
This is Doug Tells Everybody Rory's Opinions.
Yeah.
Show.
Show Graham.
Keith, what about you?
I have a three-year-old,
so I've mostly seen The Wizard of Oz
about 500 times.
Well, it's ones to have to see a lot.
That's not so bad.
It's a great...
On her third birthday, we watched it on the big screen at the Crest Theater here locally.
That was pretty amazing.
I saw shit in it that you don't see on the small screen that I never knew was there,
like the lion carrying witch insecticide.
He had like witch...
Wait, what?
There's a scene when they first go to get the witch and the lions
carrying this big spray can of
witch away and I never noticed that
on the yeah, but on the why doesn't
it come into play when Q gives you a
gadget? You have to use it at some point
during that film's adventure
supposed to show up in the third act, right?
But I saw
a bones brigade and autobiography.
I'm really excited about right now.
Bones Brigade skateboarders.
It's a skateboarding documentary by Stacy
Peralta is really good. Yeah, I bet it
is
that I sound
like Spock. It's kind of a
it's kind of I bet it's an amazing
treat. It's it's
sort of a slave Western on skateboards.
If you can imagine that
finally, oh, wait a
second, it's
the king. I'm gonna say that word a lot.
Well, it's because I can
what word I heard
boards. This is the one
I'm gonna say so many times.
Can we speak
a skateboard loopy fiasco got kicked off stage
at the inauguration for doing an anti-war song
for 30 minutes.
Nice.
It wasn't the song.
That was silence.
30 minutes.
No, no, I just got a message
that Spike Lee isn't going
to listen to this podcast.
He doesn't approve of that word
being used in any context.
Skateboards.
Skateboards.
Got a lot of skateboards in here tonight. A lot of members of the Skate, Skateboards. Skateboards. Got a lot of skateboards in here tonight.
A lot of members of the Skate, Skate, Skate in here.
Oh, man.
He had a traumatic skateboard accident when he was a kid.
So did the three-year-old love the skateboard doc?
No, I watched it on an airplane without her.
Oh, okay.
I had a break from...
Just to get away from her.
I was on Wizard of Oz again or something else.
I have to escape into the world of skateboarding.
I wasn't going anywhere.
I flew to an airport, hung out, flew back.
No three-year-olds here.
Yeah, just tell the family you've got gigs that you don't have.
It works out pretty good.
Fly off somewhere and just sit there in a Motel 6.
You know what's great? Wasn't George
Clooney in that movie? They think I'm
in Austin right now.
So if you guys are down to party
afterwards, I'm free.
We've come to the part of the show
where it is time for me to say
let the games begin.
Sacramento.
Steal yourselves.
I've got several games lined up.
So hang on to your name tags for a second.
We'll play some
warm up exercises.
This first game is called How Much Did This Shit Make?
And since this is Keith's first time on the show, we'll start with him.
Then we'll move across to Ngaio and Rory.
Rory, you did a great job last night playing against one audience member
losing right away.
Immediately.
Yeah, I got it over with
so I could go have my marijuana break.
That's what I was like.
Yeah, I just was like,
whatever he says,
I'm going to go cast away.
Whatever.
All right, Rory lost big.
I think I can top that.
I'm going to lose bigger.
So you get to bid first,
Keith. Wizard of Oz.
This is...
This movie
made Wizard of Oz.
So much
money, dude. How much? Wizard of
Oz, dude. Wizard of
Oz.
Okay, so
Dorothy was dreaming
all of that stuff.
Putting her own
family members
into roles
in the dream.
Life of Pine.
And that movie ends.
That movie ends.
Now there's this
return to Oz movie
where they're acting
like Oz is really
a place.
No, but if you read
the L. Frank Baum books
it kind of is
a little more.
Like the movie's really heavy-handed
in making it a dream.
The book's not so much.
That was the movie
put that on there.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
The one that Sam Raimi's doing
actually is one of the books.
It looks kind of cool.
Yeah, it's Sam Raimi,
so it's going to be good.
I've seen the trailer once.
I think now we know
why you're forcing
so much Wizard of Oz
on the kids.
Before you made it sound
like they wanted to watch it,
you've read the books.
What the fuck?
Your kids are like, God, no!
I don't want to watch it again!
You'll watch it!
Look, it says Witch Away!
You don't get that at home!
That's amazing!
You don't get it at home!
Daddy!
Daddy, these ruby slippers are hurting my feet.
Why do I have to wear them on a treadmill?
You know they were silver in the book, damn it.
Last night we watched Singing in the Rain,
which was my other favorite childhood movie.
Oh, God.
She's going to love it, too. Wizard of Oz and Singing in the Rain were which was my other favorite childhood movie. Oh, God. She's going to love it, too.
Wizard of Oz and Singing in the Rain were your two favorite childhood movies?
Shut up.
I'm not gay.
I have a kid.
That means I had sex with a real lady.
She even looks like me.
The lady?
The lady looks like you?
Yeah.
I found one like that so that the kid would.
Wow.
What's up, Narcissus?
Improves the odds greatly.
It really does.
This 1989 action comedy
is called Pink Cadillac.
And yeah, and it starred Clint Eastwood and was supposedly filmed here in Sacramento.
Woo!
Go, Zach!
According to the internet.
And so you need to guess how much it made in its domestic run at the box office, according
to Box Office Mojo.
I don't know how much money it's made.
And you want to be as close as possible
without going over.
So how many...
Is this like Price is Right
where the audience can yell suggestions?
One dollar!
One dollar, of course, is a strategic move.
Yeah, but that's the strategic move
that comes after the other guys have,
in your opinion, blown it, right?
Yeah, I guess so.
I think it's more likely to start with a dollar.
Yeah, because then the...
Like, you know it's at least a thousand
dollars, but to still go
one dollar... But the person sitting next to you could
go two dollars.
That's why you don't do it first.
No one's yelling
stuff. And I also noticed
that no one's wearing funny costumes this isn't at all
like okay there's a couple of things that you need to know all right don't please don't ask
the audience to yell out because they will if you ask them to i really want them and later in the
game it's a where you have to know the answer not get opinions from the audience all right all right
i understand why you want to do it with this one because it's a it's a price is right tradition
yeah but it's usually aren is Right tradition. Yeah.
But it's usually, aren't they all just yelling lower and higher?
Or are they yelling a specific number?
$16 million.
$13 million.
Sir?
Or weird lady?
I can't see that far.
Very weird lady, too.
Wow. All right, so Keith says 13 million in Gaia.
What do you say to that?
What year did it come out?
It came out in 1989.
Are you adjusting for inflation?
Bernadette Peters, too?
Huh?
Bernadette Peters?
Yes.
No points for guessing other cast members.
Do we have to talk like Bane when we do it?
No, no.
I don't have to talk like Bane.
I don't know why it's still happening.
Has it happened?
$465,000 domestically.
$465,000.
It might be the lowest bid next to a dollar that we've had on the show.
Like, that is the answer.
That was so specific.
You know it. You already know it. You did the
research.
What was the title of the movie again?
Pink Team.
What was it? Cadillac?
Pink Cadillac. I don't think
what it's called is going to help you to discern.
Oh, it's sort of the main
scene. Not Red Cadillac? It seems relevant.
It's relevant, but
you said 13 million? I did
indeed. 1989? Uh-huh.
14 million. Go suck a day out.
Could have gone 13 million in one
dollar and really... Okay, so
Keith Lowell Jensen said $13 million.
Ngayo Django Belem said $465,000.
And Rory said $14 million.
And Ngayo is our winner
because it made $12.1 million.
So close.
I'm better at this than I thought.
Without going over, always the
operative phrase and Price is Right.
Yeah, absolutely. Good job.
This seems like a fix.
Which part of it?
Old MLK Jr. Day fix
to let the black guy win.
Doug told me to guess
$14 million. Because whenever a black guy achieves something told me to guess $14 million.
Because whenever a black guy achieves something,
there's always reverse racism involved.
That's clearly what it is.
That's clearly what it is.
Thank you.
My bad.
Thank you.
We talk about this at White Place all the time.
All the time.
We won't shut up about it.
We love it.
You know what's funny about White Place
is it has a wacky neighbor just like Seinfeld
and it's the same guy.
Echo Chamber Lane.
Okay, so
the guy who gets to go first in this next game,
my favorite game, because it's really all about me,
this particular game, anyway.
It's called ABCD's Nuts.
And that's where we spell out a word or two words
with movie titles.
When it's your turn,
I'll tell you what letter we're on,
and then you have to name a movie
within a few seconds
that begins with that letter.
And it's not that hard,
but it can still be nerve-wracking.
And if you say the same movie
that I wrote down,
I wrote down a movie
for each letter.
If you say the same movie I said,
you automatically win.
And it's very exciting because
there's no way it's going to happen.
I'm glad I sat right next to you.
That is exciting.
Knowing that it will not happen.
You know what I mean?
When you win the lottery,
you fucking lose your mind.
And so when this finally happens
on the show, it happened once,
but it was a really good friend of mine. So it was like we happens on the show, it happened once, but it was like a really good friend of mine,
so it was like we were on the same wavelength.
Yeah, yeah.
You guys, I don't even know you.
I just spent the whole day
calling around trying to find a black guy,
and I only got one.
When you heard my name was Keith,
you thought I had another.
We're all pretty busy today.
You all got gigs.
It's like Christmas, you know?
It's like Christmas for the Jews.
You play the Chinese restaurant.
You guys had an inauguration to watch?
I'm glad you pronounced that word right, Keith.
Now look.
I know, right?
I was saying to Rory earlier that racists must be having a field day with the word inauguration.
Man, you think it was 2008
all over again. These guys haven't let it go.
There was a highway scene
in Almost Famous that was supposedly
filmed nearby.
So
let's spell out
Almost Famous. So the first letter
to Keith would be
A.
Oh, I'm sorry.
So I just do a movie that starts
with the letter A?
Yeah.
Seems so easy, doesn't it?
Apocalypse Now.
Okay, I said Anaconda.
Of course you would.
Rory L.
Leaving Las Vegas.
I said life, which was some scenes were shot in the fields of West Sacramento.
You're so local.
That's so delicious.
I forgot to say about Anaconda.
I'm going to interrupt it Sunday, January 27th at Sketchfest, Sketchfest.com,
sfsketchfest.com for tickets.
M to Keith.
Maniac Cop.
That's probably another one you watch with your three-year-old over and over again.
Classic.
I picked Magnolia.
You didn't pick Maniac Cop?
Mm-mm.
But you never know with these things.
Respect the Maniac Cop.
William Lustick. It's a good movie.
I was just combining both your movies.
Back to N'Gayo.
Oh.
Orgasmo.
Was that the full title on that?
Okay. I thought it was like
Orgasmo, An Unexpected Journey.
Nobody expects.
Almost any existing movie subtitle would be funny after Orgasmo.
Orgasmo, The Search for Spock.
Orgasmo the Awakening
Orgasmo the Final Chapter
Alright S to
That was such a sad
That was a tragedy
Oh I said Ocean's 13 of course
Of course
For O
But next is S
Who's it to Rory?
Saving Silverman
that's somewhat alliteration on both my turn
on my turn
that's alliteration on my turns
on my turns
those people that clap for Saving Silverman
clearly do not like raccoons
because there's some fucking crazy shit
with a raccoon in that
I went with a raccoon in that.
I went with a movie that we coincidentally,
I wrote this yesterday,
but we coincidentally were talking about it since then,
Smokin' Aces.
Yeah, yeah.
Sacramento. It was filmed in nearby Lake Tahoe.
Really?
Really?
Really?
Really?
That movie was terrible.
That was the worst movie.
Fucking horrible.
Any piece of shit movie you bring up,
there's somebody that's like, I like that movie.
Oh, I'm down to defend some horrible movies, but no.
No. Smoke Ace's ass.
Then I change. I'm like, all right, calm down.
Jesus Christ.
The director could be here. He lives locally.
Let me finish.
He totally was.
That's the best. Let me finish. No, was. Still is. That's the best. Let me finish.
No, he still is from Sacramento.
I'm losing a lot of potential future guests
with you guys tearing into that movie.
There's a lot of people lying by her involved with that movie,
but it doesn't totally work.
But I think it has some good parts.
I do.
I said that to you earlier.
The director is from here? You know, I did. I said that to you earlier. The director is from here?
You know, I did.
I did.
It was...
You know...
You know when you really watch it?
When you really watch it?
You know what I mean?
With this?
Not these.
With this?
You walk.
You walk out with something.
Why did you point to your balls?
That's how I watched it the first time.
I thought I could jerk off to it.
This isn't porn!
It wasn't that sexy. Oh, smoking asses.
Smoking asses.
Why does that donkey have a cigar?
Yeah!
Yes!
We weren't talking about the porn version?
Then I agree with you.
How many movies kill Ben Affleck?
That's pretty cool.
Spoiler.
I thought Daredevil did a good job.
And Gigli.
That killed him for me.
I should interrupt that movie sometime,
because that movie's hilarious.
Daredevil?
Daredevil.
He's blind, and he's like fighting on a swing set,
you know, on a teeter-totter,
jumping around from side to side.
Blind guy probably have a little trouble
just stepping onto it.
He's got radar sense.
That's right.
That's sort of what makes it a superpower
is that he can do stuff even though he's blind.
Like when the other guy flies,
we all can't do that.
But does he also have a handicap
we don't know about does he have irritable bowel
syndrome and can
fly
I thought you meant daredevil
I was like blindness wasn't enough blindness
push off a call back to last night
at the end of daredevil when he defeats
the villain someone runs up to him and goes
we forgot about the roses
yeah that's a bit of the villain, someone runs up to him and goes, we forgot about the roses.
Yeah, that's a bit of mine.
I haven't even done it anywhere yet.
I mean, it's not on an album yet.
Oh, sorry.
But somebody will get,
one person will get a good chuckle making the connection.
You know what, that won't make sense now, but down the road they'll go, oh.
Yeah.
I'm glad Rory brought that up.
I'm the trailer you're looking for.
You're like foreshadowing.
Hey guys, watch out for the roses.
You'll hear it on Doug's home.
Right?
Doug Completus in later years will be like, when Rory Scorville foreshadows that we forgot
the roses joke.
I love the idea of Doug Complet idea of January 21st podcast.
We have any Doug completists here?
There are some.
Yeah.
One of them brought a couple of books.
Scary people.
I missed it.
You weren't here yesterday.
Don't apologize.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
You let him apologize.
Where the fuck were you? No, no. Fuck this guy. He calls himself a completist? You let him apologize.
Where the fuck were you?
I can't.
My kids.
Oh, Jesus.
Get rid of those fucking books.
Fuck this guy.
Can't even show up.
Those are good prizes for a lucky winner.
Where are we at?
Whose turn is it?
We're at T, and it's my turn.
Okay, T. You had all that time to think about it.
Can I use any movie that starts with the?
You sure can.
All right, The Hobbit.
Why?
You don't like that one?
The Empire Strikes Back.
More specific.
More specific.
The Hobbit and Unexpected Journey.
Correct.
I went with Twilight, which I'll be interrupting February 9th at Sketch Fest.
Yeah.
And I totally should have had that one.
One through five.
A child, you say.
F is next.
Yes, it is.
F.
Is it your turn?
I am led to believe that.
Is it anybody's turn, Doug, when you think about it?
It's all of our turns.
Obama just
got another turn.
F.
Yeah, F. You said.
Is it a really hard one?
I don't know.
The hash is kicking in.
Fast times in Ridgemont High.
Yay!
Nice.
I went with Frankie and Johnny,
which was also allegedly shot nearby.
Rory A.
Michelle Pfeiffer.
Almost Famous.
That's what I wrote.
Almost Famous.
Yay!
That was damn exciting!
Da-da-da! Da-da-da! That was damn exciting. Lottery reaction.
The building in Sacramento was destroyed today,
and a black man was not the instigator.
No, that's not the way it would be reported.
Yes, a black man was there.
Where's that black guy that came to my show yesterday?
Wow, Jesus God.
You should take a look at yourself for that.
Guys, guys, guys, let's not forget
the Almost Famous that i just did let's let's stop
getting distracted with trivial bullshit let's not talk about the last thing but let's talk about
what i did right the last thing they would drag into almost famous is race it's an extremely white
movie rory rory wins this podcast now it's now now you and Doug switch seats and it's now Rory
loves movies. I was just counting
on someone being a smart ass and
saying almost famous. Yeah,
I was ready for it. And then we would match.
I'll be honest. I did all the letters in my head and
when I realized I had A, I was like, oh
shit.
I bet it's almost famous.
You're like a chess master.
You're like 12 letters ahead.
Thank you.
I'm stalling for time on F.
M for misery.
I had misery.
O, Ocean's Eleven.
Well, that's the end of the game.
I was going to say Maniac Cop 2.
I was so fucking excited.
I've been sitting here through this whole thing waiting.
That would kind of equate because you used a sequel in it.
If he named a sequel sequel that should count as
an automatic win too what keith loves movies if you wanted to add an insane level to the game
for you i had u571 do you remember that movie no yeah there's a movie called u571 about a submarine
there wasn't really uh really but when that movie came out me and my friend uh name dropper
uh nick swartzen we we used to say to each other and die laughing uh what'd you think of you five
seven one the other person would go you five seven one it's really juvenile um was the movie
as good as that joke no i love that love that when you said U-571,
a lot of conversation broke out.
Yeah.
More so than all the racial jokes.
U-571, people are like,
oh, yeah, U-571, yeah.
I remember now.
That's something we can all get behind.
Yeah, that's what we're here for.
It's movies.
And for the S, I picked safe house,
because of course, no one is safe, no one is house.
And a lady in the audience just said that along with me.
In unison.
Because it's true.
So there's another completist right there.
Was Tombstone filmed in Old Sack?
A guy in the audience, no.
No, and
also I don't understand comedy or how
it works.
That was totally illogical.
He was prepping before he got here.
God, I hope he asked where Tombstone was filmed.
Because if he names the wrong location, I'm in the game.
I'm in.
Filmed in Old Sack.
No, no!
Because for the listeners that may have never been to Sacramento,
Old Sack has kind of a western-y town street kind of thing.
And toffee.
That I see every once in a while in the news when someone gets shot there.
That's how we started 2013.
That's true.
Happy New Year.
Welcome to Sacramento.
That's not fair, Doug.
Only on holidays.
They only have the catch a bullet from the air game during the 14 or 22 major holidays. They only have the catch a bullet from the air game during the
during the 14 or
22 major holidays.
14 or 22.
Let's play build a title.
You guys
we're playing all the games today
and this
one is particularly
fun for me because the guests get so
confused by it.
And since we've been
hammering it hard, why not keep going?
We're going to start with, oh, who won that
last one? Rory.
How could I forget?
Now that's famous.
Just in case anyone
has forgotten, it was almost famous.
On an A.
The Rory Scoville story.
No one likes a sore winner.
No, I like sore winners.
I like them.
Love sore winners.
America loves sore winners.
We become sore winners.
That's what it is.
We really do.
We like to rub shit in.
It's not cool.
It would have been more effective to say
almost famous and then jump off a roof
into a pool.
That would have been pretty damn cool.
Like he did in that movie.
What does he say? I'm a golden god?
I think mine was meaner.
You are not a golden god, lady.
That would have been great.
Do you hear what that dude said?
He yells it on the roof and the car horn goes off like he's that fucking people like don't jump off the roof
has anyone here funny played the scene from that movie with the led zeppelin song
the the director instruct like he really thinks we care this much he instructs you
to see how a scene was meant
to look Led Zeppelin
wouldn't give him the
rights to it.
So he's like so just do
it yourself.
Now play the Led Zeppelin
song.
You'll see it totally
fits.
Let me ask you this.
Is your daughter?
Does your daughter like
is how into dark side
of the moon is your
daughter?
I'm saving that for
her fifth birthday.
Doug, you got to pace yourself.
It's true.
It's true.
Okay, so Rory gets to start, and then we'll go to Keith.
And the first title, the starter title for Build-A-Title is Smoke and Aces.
Okay, so now what is... Good, good good so what is the game let the confusion begin
build a title um yeah all right i get that all right you just has to end you have to come up
with a movie that ends in smoke or smoking or smoke or begins in it ends in it? Ends in it or begins with aces. Ooh.
Is, um...
Is, uh...
Let me ask you this.
Has anyone ever lost a game on a first turn?
Has a game ever just got to not exist
because someone's like,
I'm not qualified to be here.
You just get knocked out
and you're back in at the next game.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, it's no big deal.
Is smoking gun, is that a show?
Or is that a movie?
Based on everyone's laugh, I feel stupid.
Well, because it wouldn't,
even if it was a thing,
it wouldn't apply.
It has to end the smoke.
Oh, well, fuck.
Or begin with aces.
Yes, yes, I can do that.
Can we give him clues?
No, no, no, you'll get your turn eventually.
I know, but I can do his turn.
I might not be able to do my turn.
If he fails, it still might come to you.
Ah.
Because we've got two ends to deal with.
He's got like five more seconds then, right?
So it's got to be smoke has to be got to be. Yes, five more seconds.
Fuck you. Gun smoke.
Gun smoke. Oh, wait. Was gun smoke
a show? Wait a second. No, it was a TV
show. But also, Keith, you
can't say fuck you to a guy for yelling out an answer
when you asked earlier for people to yell out
answers. I can when you shut
that down. I did shut it down.
Let's all shut it down.
But also, Cheech and Chong
wouldn't work anyway. It was a
clue. Oh, I'll
the rest of it. Oh, I do know. Can I use
that or is that cheating? I got
one. No, no, no. Wait, what are we talking about?
I think I just thought of one. What were we talking
about? We need a title.
Here's my answer. We need a title that ends
with smoke. The movie with Empire Strikes Back. Empire Strikes Smoke. We need a movie that ends with smoke or begins with aces.
If I say up in smoke, is that cheating?
Otherwise, I am out of the game.
I guess I'd rather cheat than lose altogether.
I'll let him have it.
There's so little stakes in this particular round of the game
that we can go ahead and just say that you should probably leave
for the rest of the show.
Thank you.
Thank you.
No, we'll go with it.
And Rory Scoville's just been ejected from the game, ladies and gentlemen.
All right, so we got up and smoking aces.
What if you found out me and that guy knew each other after the show?
You'd hate this moment more.
I hate it just enough.
But I really thought he thought there was a movie called Cheech and Chong that would fit.
Cheech and Chong smoke.
Cheech and Chong smoking aces.
Let's go.
So was that what you had?
Was that what you were going to say?
Yeah, that's what I had.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, okay.
So you were right.
I'm cool.
I got one.
Okay, what is it?
Up.
It's a fucking movie.
Not fair.
The movie has a one word name.
How did you build on the title with that?
Up in smoke?
We still have the same title.
You did no building whatsoever.
I thought you started with the next one.
I hate to be the Wreck-It Ralph in this situation.
You mean I still have to do Smoking Aces?
No, but you can do something that ends in Up,
but you can't just say Up.
No, but Up's the name of the movie.
It ends and begins in Up.
There is a movie called Up, correct.
It's not called Up Up, though.
All right, so all one one name movies are disqualified
from this game that is not how what i'm all one words that are already in the title
you're not building on it you're just we're going to repeat the same title because now it's up up
and smoking it is not up up in smoking aces it. It's up in Smoking Aces. Up.
And you have to come up with a title that
ends in up, not that is up
in its entirety. Up ends
in up!
I'm about to get all over your entirety.
The reason I'm not making fun of you is
because I do not know why I should
disagree with what you're saying.
I'm just remaining silent.
Can we decide this democratically?
I'll tell you why, and I'll tell you why.
Because there's spirit of the game and there's letter of the game.
And as a nerd, man, I get all kind of
out of shape when people want to fucking
gamesman and parse when you should
just play the game, brother. Fuck.
He takes this shit so seriously.
Well, it is his day.
Can I say something? For you.
It's all of our day, dumbass.
You're missing the point.
Oh, my God.
The whole point of Arthur King is that it's everybody's fucking day.
I just realized.
It's everybody's day.
I just realized.
I just realized.
I know so little about how this game works
that I still don't know whose side he was just arguing for.
I was like, yeah, defend Keith.
Wait, you're mad at him.
Shit, I still don't know.
If I get you right, you're saying I can say that word that we talked about earlier.
No, you're trying to game it.
I'm wasting time because I can't think of a fucking movie.
It's tough, yeah.
All right, tell me again.
It's got to end.
Hey, buddy, you got a clue for me?
It's got to start in what or end in what?
It's got to be up or my other choice is still aces?
End in up or begin with aces, yeah.
It's a tough one for sure.
And Rory's going to win this whole game.
Can I do Ace Ventura pet detective
with an assist from the crowd who thinks
yes could you please stand up and walk
towards the door I will go with you I
will go with you I support up and Ace
Ventura the difference between you and
this audience is they've heard this game a lot of times.
And you have not.
You've only heard it when you're here
confused by it.
Is there a movie called Flying Aces?
I don't know.
Let's say there was.
It still wouldn't work, would it?
You would be out.
I don't get this.
Can I be out? Is that an option?
That's an option.
Oh, fuck yeah. I take that out. I don't get this. Can I be out? Is that an option? That's an option. Oh, fuck. Yeah, I take
that one, right? It's
painful. It's
painful. Oh
man, what don't I win?
You
don't have a chance to win prizes anyway.
We punched it in audience
at home. Wow, Keith
and guy. Oh, what do you got a guy oh please say up
uh there's a there's a documentary film where a guy went around and he interviewed
a group of these they started out as kids every seven years he interviewed them
seven was called seven up seven up in smokeces. Jesus God. I love those movies.
Try to yell out the answer
before the person's about to say it.
It's another thing I love.
Do you?
14 Up, 21 Up.
That's a great series.
Yeah, those are good movies, yes.
Damn it.
They're like at 42 now or some crazy shit.
It's been going wrong for a minute.
Another way you could have gone is Tin Cup.
Ooh. Ooh. Ooh.
Ooh.
You are so wise in the ways of this game.
Let me just head this off at the pass.
If you fucking say seven.
You piece
of shit.
You piece of shit. You knew I was
going to do that joke. You goddamn.
I don't even have that on an album yet.
Got anything that ends in seven?
And not slevin' either.
Ends in seven.
I was going to say seven brides for seven brothers, but...
No, no, no, that's why I didn't say it.
So obviously, that's... You find this easy. No, no, no, that's why I didn't say it. So, obviously, that's...
You find this easy.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Why are you so mad at me for being stupid?
It's my fault.
You're not being stupid.
Dude, you're the one who counted all the fucking letters
to get to almost famous.
That's all I know how to do.
Now that we have to really think, like,
a little bit harder, I'm like, ah,
I should have got out at the first step.
When Rory's done, I'm still out, right?
I don't know.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, good.
Oh, yeah, you are.
You're still out.
I don't care that you have a three-year-old daughter.
Wow.
That's a go-getting.
Way to be a go-getter, Keith.
So it has to end in seven or just it just has to end in seven?
Is there an or to that?
It can end in seven or it can start in aces. The title ends in seven or, or just, it just has to end in seven. Is there an order that can end in seven or ends in seven in aces, a title that ends in
seven or begins with aces.
Okay.
But probably the seven is probably the better way for you to go.
So right now I can start a title with aces.
Yes.
No, you can't.
That's how that's dumb.
Aces.
I'm with you.
I'm with you.
Like I said, let's go on the other.
Let's just go ahead and go on the other side.
Do something that ends in seven. It's in seven. I've already, I'm thinking of three Okay, let's go on the other. Let's just go ahead and go on the other side. Do something that ends in seven.
Ends in seven.
I'm thinking of three or four so far.
Now, Rocky, that just became Balboa.
Yeah, yeah, and that was also the sixth installment.
No, well, if you would let me finish.
Let me finish, I was going to say.
If you're going to talk your way through it,
I'm going to talk your way out of it.
How many Mighty Ducks movies were there?
Ever think about that?
I don't think there's anything that ends in seven
that doesn't have a subtitle after it,
which would then kill what you're doing here.
You need something that just ends in seven.
How many do you have?
What?
I've got at least two.
Wow.
Maybe three or four.
You are a golden god.
I don't know.
I'm going to have to pass.
I'm going to have to pass.
All right.
I can't stop saying
11-7 over and over
in my head.
Mike, that doesn't even...
That's not even
the name of that place.
So, Ingaio,
you're still in?
Yeah. Okay, what do you got?yo, you're still in? Yeah.
Okay, what do you got?
There's Magnificent Seven.
Yeah.
I'm not familiar with that.
187, 187 on the motherfuckers.
Passenger 57.
Haven't heard of it.
Have not heard of it.
So if you want to make up stuff, that's fine, sir.
That's fine.
There's that horrible child porn when she's seven.
Yeah.
Judd Apatow's making a movie with his daughter called This Is Seven.
Yeah.
That would be a great sequel.
This Is Seven.
He goes so far the other direction.
This Is Seven. All right, so the other direction. This is seven.
All right, so N'Gaya won that round, everybody.
Boy, did he.
Hyper competitive nerds for the win.
That means he gets to go first in the Leonard Maltin game,
but first we need to see your name tags.
And everybody on the panel, please go and select
whatever name tag speaks to you
that you'd like to play to for.
The good, the Brad, and the ugly is a nice one.
I don't get what Dr. Mark J. Berg means.
Street pharmacist?
I don't understand any of that.
Emily has a popcorn bucket.
That's cute.
It's a dude in the front row with what looks like a blank napkin.
Nice try.
Good effort.
What is it?
Super high.
Super high D.
And your name is Heidi?
No, it's super.
Where's the Django one? Oh, there's a Django one out there?
Oh, wow
You make them come to you? That's badass
Ngaio saw this name tag on Twitter
Bring it on up here
That's cool
Oh, the guy doesn't have legs
Doesn't matter
Nice work on your day, Ngaio
What? Oh, that is pretty cool It doesn't matter. Nice work on your day, N'Gayo.
What?
Oh, that is pretty cool.
It's Daniel Unchained, and for some reason, it's my face on Austin Powers.
I don't understand that at all. While slaves are being whipped in the background.
Oh, it's not Austin Powers.
It's Jamie Foxx's outfit when Django gets to pick his own clothes.
Spoiler. Spoiler alert. Oh, thoseango gets to pick his own clothes. Spoiler.
Spoiler alert.
Oh, those are supposed to come first.
That's very funny.
Oh, that's a good one.
People are taking...
You're threatening.
Mark S. Allen is threatening someone with violence
if we don't pick Betsy.
I'd like to complain about the one I picked
because one of the two discs that come with it
isn't in there, you cheap bastard.
Well, it's not a gift to you.
I decided it was.
Oh, the ticket to this show is in here?
Whose is this?
He gave away the DVD.
Oh, he gave away the DVD, kept the Blu-ray because he's a good person.
And I have to give this back to him?
No, why?
Oh, cool.
Good, that's what I thought.
No, no, no.
It's just a name tag that you're you're using
represent that part, but then I think you're not going to
just watch you anyways.
You'll take a guy's movie just to throw it in the trash
when you get home. Yeah, there's
nothing really gay and et to
you know, continue the ruining
of your child. Actually,
there's a scene where Elliot's older brother
calls him penis breath.
When I was a kid,
that was my favorite scene in the movie. I was like, penis
breath? Holy shit!
I decided to become a comedian
there on the spot.
I'm just going to give you the
disc out of here in case
he tries something funny.
You son of a bitch.
So JT... So you're playing for JT, the extraterrestrial.
Not the Jextra terrestrial.
Jextra terrestrial.
Yeah.
And a guy who's playing for Daniel, Unchained.
And who?
I forgot.
Rory, did you?
Robin.
Is that a name tag or did you think this game would be dangerous?
Yeah, no, I wanted to be ready.
Because it's a helmet.
What does it say on it?
Robin Blindside
and that's probably
just the helmet you wear
when you ride around
on your motorcycle.
No, wait a minute.
Is that what is
the Sacramento Sirens?
Oh, it's a football
football team, right?
Yeah, there's a sports
fan dog.
Not really.
There's a semi pro
woman's football team
out of Sacramento.
Is that your actual
yeah, badass. This that your actual? Yeah,
badass. This is your helmet.
Yeah, it goes. The
can I have
what's really funny is that there's also
the Sacramento sirens who are a burlesque
troop. Do you guys ever get together and fight?
I
thought you were going to say something else
guys ever get together.
Fuck.
Yeah, but all night.
Fuck off.
I'll just fuck.
I know who would be on top.
I'm going with the football players.
This is the worst part of it.
You can't drink when you have that helmet on.
That's a shame.
Someone bring Larry a straw.
It's not worth it.
That's why they have squirt bottles, Rory.
Why?
Look at what I just figured out.
A straw probably would work pretty effectively.
You'd be drunk and paralyze yourself at one motion.
The amazing...
The straw would probably be...
Can we have a straw?
Get ready to go.
Get a straw in your water.
Oh, yeah.
And what's...
So what's her name?
What's your name?
Robin.
Robin.
Our teammates call me Blindside.
Oh, our teammates call her Blindside.
Well, not tonight.
You're just Robin.
So it's in the field.
Calm down.
You saw how shitty I was at the last game.
Well, that's the beauty of Leonard Mullen game, Rory,
is anyone can win.
It's been proven time and time again.
That's very disrespectful.
Like, standing on it.
Oh, it's a coffee table.
So we're going to start with N'Gayo,
and then we'll go to Keith, and then to Rory.
N'Gayo gets to pick a category from these three.
Oh, he got a nice long straw now.
That's not going to work in that tiny cup.
If only he had some of his drink left.
Too bad he's out of water.
You know I love physical humor.
My arms aren't long enough for the straw.
I love the physical humor on the podcast.
I was going to say, the visual humor is always so well received.
Just keep milking it TJ Miller style. Love the physical humor on the podcast. I was going to say, the visual humor is always so well received.
Just keep milking it TJ Miller style.
Listeners at home, trust me, this is hilarious.
I'm just trying to drink my drink.
This isn't a part of the show.
He's just trying to have his beverage.
Yeah.
So now the helmet's off again.
Is that how we're going to go with it?
We should do like a golf announcer voice.
I don't know.
Is this real blood on the outside?
Of course.
I heard it was N'Gayo's turn.
Blind side.
All right, N'Gayo gets to pick a category.
Would you like I Had a Dream?
That's...
Guys, it's MLK Day.
It's a thing for everybody.
So I don't know why that's funny
And I Had a Dream is
slave westerns
No, I'm kidding
Django Unchained
No, I Had a Dream is movies with a memorable dream sequence
in them
Like The Wizard of Oz, for instance
Right
Or Celebrating a Birthday Today
is actress Gina Davis So the films of gina davis
or your third option is in theaters now and that's movies that are playing in theaters
now i'm gonna celebrate the films of gina davis yeah allr. I like them. Amazing archer she is.
Two and a half stars from Leonard for this movie from 1996.
And he says about this movie,
if you find a kitchen sink,
it's the one the screenwriter of this movie forgot to throw into it.
So this movie's got everything but the kitchen sink. And he also says that a child is a part of the mayhem. A child is a part of the mayhem. From 1996.
Dude in the front row knows it. Eleven names. Ngaio, how many names do you think you can get it in?
I just have to remember the name of the movie.
Five.
Okay.
Now is that the name of the movie?
Do you still have a microphone?
Are you Ngaio un-miked?
I'm still the same person, Doug.
Still the same person.
Ungayo Unchanged.
Hey!
That was high caliber.
He says five names.
Five names.
Five names.
Rory.
I really have to remember the name of this film, though.
Okay. Everybody be quiet. Rory? I really have to remember the name of this film, though. Shh. Okay.
Everybody be quiet.
Rory.
I have to say less than that?
Yes.
Just like the last several times you played this.
Nothing sticks for me.
You're acting right now, aren't you?
No, I swear to God.
I can't remember.
You can't remember what it's called.
I can remember all the quotes.
You're saying four names?
I have to say four.
Well, you can ask him to name it since he's struggling with what it's going to be called.'t remember what it's called. I can remember all the quotes. You're saying four names? I have to say four. Well, you can ask him to name it
since he's struggling with what it's going to be called.
But I think he's acting.
Oh.
I think he's doing like,
ah, fuck, what is that?
He's bluffing.
He's going to be like, seven up.
Remember?
Remember from before?
Name it. Name it, bro. name it name it bro calling batman in on this because i'm tired of your bullshit i'm using the bat signal
what did you say you said name it is that name it's me versus... And Guy has to name it after I tell you the five names.
Okay.
Hey, do you know it?
Fuck no.
I could do it in zero.
Mommy, are we gonna die?
Here's your five names.
I know they are.
Your five names are
Alan North,
GD Spradlin,
Who?
Nails it.
Joseph McKenna,
I don't know who that is.
David Morse,
Nope, that's not a real person.
And Patrick Malahide, Nope, should have not a real person. And Patrick Malahide.
Nope, should have gotten the Oscar.
The great Patrick Malahide is in this movie, Mr. Potter.
It's fucking... Those are your five names.
Do you want the clues again?
It's Charlie Baltimore.
It's got everything but the kitchen sink, two and a half stars,
and there's a child that's a part of the mayhem.
You have three seconds god damn it i had trouble remembering the title today too when i was looking when i was
looking it up three two one say it say it i'm sorry time's up it's called It's called The Long Kiss Goodnight. The Long Kiss Goodnight. I had it.
The Long Kiss Goodnight.
I knew it.
I had it, obviously.
Yeah.
And I disagree with Leonard on the two and a half star.
Yeah.
I love that movie.
That was a fun movie.
I love that movie, yeah.
God damn it.
But there is a child in the mayhem, that's for sure.
Yeah.
Okay, so Rory is on the board.
Yeah.
You did it.
Okay, so Rory is on the board.
Yeah.
You did it.
It's like N'Gayo handed it to you, and you took it.
I'll never get to do this my whole life.
And actually, it makes sense at the time.
He's waving the football helmet around.
I guess I could just do that in my front yard. Rory Scoville has stepped to the edge of the stage
and is now waving a football helmet.
The audience finds it quite comical.
Okay, Keith, you get to pick a category.
Then we're coming to you, Rory.
First person to two points will be our winner.
Keith is playing for JT.
And your category options are
The Great Robbie Benson is celebrating a birthday today.
So the films of Robbie Benson.
Or...
Yeah, guy over there.
I totally know who he is.
Or...
That's good.
You've got a leg up then on...
Then there's the flagrant bleach category
suggested by flagrant bleach
which is Build a Title
where the answer is one of the movies that was mentioned
in today's round of Build a Title.
Yeah.
What?
I know.
That's easy as shit.
It's like a magic trick.
Too many details.
Wow.
That narrows it down by millions.
You're like the pen and teller of podcasts or your final choice
is rogue
scholar suggested by spliff
2026
future spliff
rogue scholar
which is films where Anna Paquin
seduces a teacher
are there a lot of those
rogue scholar
if I'm playing for JT, is he allowed to help me?
No, he's not.
And you're continuing to try to game the system.
Just play the fucking game.
All right, Doug, I'm going to go with that bleach thing.
You're welcome, Rory.
Oh, thanks.
Oh, the bleach part.
Okay, this movie was mentioned during tonight's round of...
There's like four or five movies.
Of Build-A-Title.
I mean, have you seen me this whole time?
Good point.
Keith, if you could at least look at me,
I might get the impression that you're trying to play the game.
I thought this... I'm thinking.
Thinking of what?
I haven't given you anything yet.
I'm listening and I'm deep in thought.
Okay, here we go.
One and a half stars from Leonard
for this movie from 2007.
He says that this movie is unwieldy.
And he also says that Matthew Fox
is unrecognizable in a cameo as a security person.
recognizable in a cameo as a security person.
And he lists 16 names.
JT is not pleased with there being that many names.
And how many names do you think you can get it in, Keith?
Probably 14.
That's a smart bit he says
he says 14 Rory
you serious
can you really do it
oh yeah
because honestly
I'm trying to
I'm like man
maybe I know it
but I don't remember
which game was
build a title
I know that
up wasn't in it.
And it took a lot of courage just now to admit that.
Can I change my answer?
Could you not say answers out loud
at this point?
Yeah, you shouldn't do that out loud.
You really are trying to break me
at every turn. Did you say the name of it?
No, nobody said anything.
But I can tell him he has to name it?
You can, but he gets 14 out of 16
names but he he's only seen wizard of oz
okay my kids three it's 2012 we'll do the math this came out in 2007 do the math oh yeah Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
You could just say 13 and get a lot of names
and pass it along.
It's kind of fun to watch you go crazy.
13.
Can I change my answer to name?
No, you can't do anything out of turn.
Yeah, you can't.
Here, I'll hold your microphone until you need it.
I say 13!
Did you just say
I'm really harsh
on these rules?
Because I will throw you
off the fucking stage.
You're never going to be
on the show again.
It's like an episode
of Half-Woods.
You're harsh on these rules.
Wow.
Just turn this mic off.
And, Gael,
it's 13 to you.
10.
10, he says, Keith. and guy. It's thirteen to you ten ten. He says Keith
can name it. You're asking
a guy to name it. All
right. Oh no, he wants me to
something else. All right,
your partner is disgusted
with you. All right, and
your life choices. All right, I partner is disgusted with you. All right. And your life choices.
All right.
Like being with a woman.
I could do it in two.
Pretty sure you still don't know how this works.
Rory?
I know that much.
He says right before I win it.
Two.
Name it.
Okay, you get two names.
We're going to do this.
They are Wayne Newton and David Provol.
And what's the name of the movie?
Smoking Aces.
That's correct.
You did it.
Horseshit.
Horseshit.
Real quick, Doug Doug I was just wondering
because I don't have really good memory could you remind me
who doesn't know how to play this game again
without telling me someone
didn't know how to play the game and I was wondering who that
was
I mean you know it's still me but go ahead
answer it
did you want my
microphone again
damn Did you want my microphone again?
Damn.
I will fix it so you lose.
I'm glad y'all don't play dominoes.
All right, so Rory has one point.
Keith has one point.
And Gaio could still get in this.
Damn.
And since, in fact, Gaio gets to pick the category,
and Rory challenged Keith, so Rory, you're going to be next.
Okay.
And Gaio, would you like the asparagus pea category,
which is for advanced players?
That's where I'm going to read the entire review.
Everyone in the room will know what movie it is unless it's Pete Holmes and the Devil Wears Prada.
And then the bidding just begins.
It basically becomes a negative names situation.
Or Kamikaze underscore gopher suggested
killer joe
and that's movies where
joe pesci kills someone
that doesn't narrow it down
and at
at
no smell
no tell
suggested
this is a reasonable policy
suggested Octopussy
and that's films with an
actress over 80 years old.
Wow.
I'll take the soup.
What's that?
It's a punchline to a really old joke. Sure, sure.
I'll have what you're having.
It's the 90-year-old hooker in the cape.
Super pussy.
And the guy goes, I'll have the soup.
I didn't know that. like that years old because you it
octopussy triggers
thoughts i started i started to lie and
agree with you and you're like it's the
dude with the cape and i was like yeah
you know way to back me up though dog
i could get behind it
what's happening asparagus p what was it that's where i read the whole review and I could get behind it.
What's happening?
Asparagus P, what was it?
That's where I read the whole review,
and then you guys,
it basically becomes a game if you can remember who was in it
and in what order.
I feel like I should be able to do that.
So you want to try that?
Yeah, let's try Asparagus P.
Oh, I love it.
All right, I'm going to read everything.
So you guys are all going to know the answer,
but please still don't say it out loud
In case somebody is
It would be amazing if somebody didn't know
The name of this movie
Three and a half stars from Leonard
For this four star movie in my opinion
From 1991
118 minutes
FBI trainees recruited to attempt
To get through a brilliant psychotic criminal, Hannibal the Cannibal, in the hope that he may help catch a serial killer.
Almost unbearably intense, brilliantly acted and put together, though the subject material is at times repellent.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
I don't have to read anymore.
There are, listed by Leonard,
12 names.
So, like, the first person in Gaio
could conceivably just say zero names,
and then that would force the next person to Gaio could conceivably just say zero names and then that would force
the next person to
go into negative names.
Which means we have to name people that are in the movie.
You have to name it in the correct order from the top.
So if you go like negative three, you gotta name the top
three billed people in the correct order.
So if you think
you know
a few of the names in Gaio, you might want
to bid like negative two or something.
So happy until just then.
I'm going to get a point.
And I'm like, no, I'm not.
Zero.
All right, he said zero.
So then I just have to, if I say one?
Yeah, if you say one,'d just have to name the movie
And the lead performer in the movie
One
Okay now
So Keith can you name two people in that movie
Yes I can
Or could you
Put it in order though right
Yeah yeah in the right order
Of billing
Of billing yes
I want to name it
Can I do that
Not yet
No no
And do you think anyone's going to be impressed
I'm not
I've made no effort to impress anyone.
If anything, I've exposed myself
for being a moron.
At this point, two of us are here to not
embarrass ourselves further.
Negative two you want to do?
Sure, I'll go with negative two.
Negative three.
So now what does that mean?
I'm being serious.
I swear to God I'm being serious.
It means he's tired of the white man holding him down.
Okay.
And that he has to name, if you say name it,
he has to name the movie and the top three build people
in the correct order.
Order of first build.
Yeah, from first, second, third.
Third build.
Yeah, and you could bid four if you think you could do that,
but I think you said something about only knowing two people
that are in this movie.
Yeah, I did.
I thought it.
I definitely thought it.
Name it.
You're acting again.
No, I'm not.
All right.
So it's called?
Silence of the Lambs.
Oh.
Oh, man.
You like waited for that, right?
You just like waited and waited and waited. Like, soon as someone says it, I'm going to go, oh.
It wasn't shot in sack.
But it could have been.
Anthony Hopkins' first villain?
Huh?
You have to name three people And then I'll tell you if you're right
You can't
You can't
But I have to do an order
You can't hunt and peck as you go
No, I'm just
Okay, well
It's Anthony Hopkins
It's Jodie Foster
And then it's
Fucking guy
From the thing
Tom
That's his answer
Ah fuck
You got the names
In the wrong order
The first two
And then the third guy
Is Scott Glenn
Scott Glenn
Scott Glenn
And that means
That Rory is our winner
Anyone can win
At this game
Anyone
Can win
Rory
I'd be the idiot On the football team at this game. Anyone can win.
I'd be the idiot on the football team doing it the wrong way.
Let me see the Django
name tag thingy.
I think he could have named like 14
of them in order. Yeah, I think JT's
pretty good at this. So it was a
shame that you guys were teamed up.
Your
silent partner was dying to speak.
I know he's but he gets
his I'm going to start reading the
prize. He gets a movie back. You get it back.
Keith doesn't get to steal your movie. No.
And then, as you may know, if you've ever heard the
show and listen to all of it that at
the very end, I for the people who lost, I still name a shithead on their behalf.
And so that's a pretty good consolation prize.
Some people would rather have it than a bag full of books for children.
But there's a lot of great stuff in here, including in Gaio's download.
What's the name of your album?
Weed and Sex.
Weed and Sex.
Yes.
And Rory Scovel's album is in here.
It's called Dilation.
We've reduced you to that.
You can't even talk.
We're farting dogs.
Dilation, yeah.
Here, come get your prize there.
Roller Derby.
Oh yeah, and give her her helmet back.
She's going to need that
helmet to cross how.
Hey!
As a parent, can I point out that
Go the Fuck to Sleep isn't actually a
book for kids?
We appreciate that.
Oh, I see.
You never know who's listening at home.
Depends on the kids.
Yeah, you might give.
Some of you little bastards do need to go to fuck to sleep.
Get off your dad's iPod right now, as a matter of fact, and go to fuck to sleep.
Oh, we're doing great on time.
Oh, fantastic.
Yeah.
Well done, gentlemen.
Let's hear it for everybody.
Keith Lowell Jensen.
Ngayo Bila.
Thank you very much.
Roy Scoville.
Wait right there,
because I've got to get a picture
of all you guys together on the stage
in front of the Capitol building.
Just stay right...
No, don't go over there.
Just stay right up...
No, now you're...
And, oh, I'm sorry, Keith.
What's your album called?
The new one coming out is Elf Orgy.
Elf Orgy.
But what are the ones in the bag called?
Because people can still get them.
Are they out of print?
Yeah, no, they're still available as well.
They're called Cats Made of Rabbits and To the Moon.
I'm really good at titles.
Albums aren't that funny, but the titles are fucking great.
Just read the title over and over.
Don't put it on.
Thank you for coming, everybody.
I'll see you out in the parking lot.
Are you ready with the end theme?
It's going to be after two shitheads.
So let's hope this works.
The sun is a shithead.
Thank you.
Goddamn sun.
And this...
Yes, I have been here in the summer.
And you should give the sun a break
for giving you
a break right now
because it's cold as fuck this morning here.
And as always,
up, up is a shithead.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him foggy.
There's no room in his heart
for you, cause Doug
loves movies!