Doug Loves Movies - Nick Kroll, Scott Aukerman, and John DiMaggio Guest
Episode Date: January 24, 2013Doug welcomes comedians Nick Kroll and Scott Aukerman, along with voice actor John DiMaggio.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/...privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug hates any rappers screaming 80s 50s
He quits 50 as there's not more kernels in his feet
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies
Hey everybody, my name is Doug and I love the crap out of movies.
We're going to talk about movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies Too Much,
coming to you from the UCB Theater in Los Angeles
on Tuesday, January 22nd, to Oceans 13.
Since last I spoke and you listened,
I recorded the Tournament of Championships 3.
Yeah, I think I'm going to sneeze.
Hang on. No.
I don't think
I could sneeze while in front of an audience.
But the whole feeling that I'm about to
sneeze happens anyway, so that's not distracting.
Andy Wood,
Kate McEuchie, and Jon Hamm
were all actually available and in the building
and competed head to head to head
it was first person to
five points was the winner
and yeah so of course it's a
90 minute episode
and it will be
available soon or now
for two bucks in the comedy album section of iTunes
and at DouglasMvies.com
What?
What does that say?
It's a lot of fun
if you like the Leonard Maltin game.
That makes sense, Doug.
It's a good thing you wrote that down.
Because it is
all Leonard Maltin game.
We talk a little bit at the beginning.
Oh, you should listen if you like the Leonard Maltin game.
Handsome dudes or an adorable lady.
Yes, I call Jon Hamm an adorable lady.
If you have to choose, San Francisco, Bay Area friends,
if you have to choose between this Saturday's movie interruption
at SF Sketch Fest or the Sunday one,
maybe this will help push you to one or the other.
One of the guests joining me to interrupt Catwoman on Saturday
at the Roxy Theater will be Eugene Merman,
and one of the guests joining me on Sunday will be Judge John Hodgman.
I don't know why it doesn't say Judge,
but I just called him that anyway
because I think he calls me Doug Loves Movies.
And I did meet somebody recently
who kept calling me Doug Loves Movies.
Like he thinks Loves Movies is my last name.
I mean, Doug loves movies.
Like he thinks loves movies is my last name.
Yeah, so John Hodgman will be judging Anaconda.
And of course, those are both schedules permitting,
those things.
And sfsketchfest.com is where you go for deets and tics.
Flew back from SAC today, Sacramento,
and on the plane,
Katrina Bowden from 30 Rock
and Tucker and Dale vs. Evil.
I definitely would have gotten
second billing in the news story
of that crash.
This has been another
installment of Plane Droppers.
If you're living
in the Los Angeles area
and a member of CineFamily,
you and a guest can come to the Benson TV
Interruption Potluck on Sunday, February 3rd.
I'm not allowed to say what we'll be watching,
but the event kicks off at about 3.15.
Let's see what's in the prize bag, you guys.
Some good stuff in here.
We've got some sort of promotional item
that was signed by the person who brought that promotional item.
We'll talk about that in a second.
We've got a calendar and a poster
and, of course, a Douglas Movies T-shirt,
another T-shirt from the nice folks at houseofhaha.com
and
of course a copy of
Smug Life
and I think there's a Douglas Movies
button maybe in there
oh no no no
this is awesome somebody made Douglas Movies
rolling papers
so there's one
rolling paper in there for you.
They gave them to me.
I'm just sharing a little of it.
And, uh, so
please help me in welcoming to the stage
John DiMaggio,
Scott Aukerman, and Nick Kroll!
Nick Kroll!
Sit wherever you like, boys I love in the
first scene in Sling Blade when JT Walsh is in the crazy scene in Sling Blade
when J.T. Walsh is in the crazy house with Sling Blade.
Is that the scene where they eat potatoes?
No, they're in prison.
But he drags a chair across the room really loudly and obnoxiously,
but no comment is made.
Doug really does love movies.
I do.
That's what that reminded me of.
This is also, what you did
was also the sound effect for bowling.
I did it terribly,
but you still
got the idea. That's John
DiMaggio. He's actually here, everybody.
I made it.
I fucking made it.
My God.
I showed up last week at 8 o'clock.
Yeah, yeah.
The week before that.
And you were having such a good day.
You sold a lot of papes.
Yeah.
Yeah, word.
He's a newsie, you guys.
Come on.
I'm telling you.
I did that one for the listeners.
And you're... I'm telling you. I did that one for the listeners.
John DiMaggio is the Christian Bale voiceover actor.
Oh, shit.
Right?
Don't get in his eyeline while he's reading a dog. That's it.
When he's playing a dog character.
I was in the middle of baking pancakes, for Christ's sakes.
Great control. That was Nick Kroll everybody
That said that thing
And Nick brought
Sylvester Stallone a voice over
He brought a
Card that has all the
characters he plays on his new program
on Comedy Central. What's it called, Doug?
It's called The Nick Kroll Show.
Close enough.
It's not
The Show Kroll, I know that. It's not The Nick
Show Kroll anymore. Nick Show Kroll.
And yeah, so he signed that for you, so
that's very nice. And Scott Aukerman is also
joining us.
Hello, America!
Back at the UCB
Theater. How does that feel?
This place stinks! After the demise
of your show.
I never realized that. I'm so sorry
that your show died like that.
It was such a big hit. It got cancelled. When did the
UCB Theater cancel your Tuesday night
stand-up show?
Oh, it's so terrible.
Yeah, I brought a calendar.
I brought an Earwolf calendar. Still on sale with phrases from our shows.
Oh, that'd be a fun game.
Sure, it would.
If you have two minutes to kill.
I'm trying to.
I don't think I've gotten any of them right so far.
Hey, show everybody on the internet that one.
No mopes allowed.
No mopes allowed.
What's that from?
Don't know.
Oh, actually...
I think it's from Improv for Humans.
I'm not sure.
Oh, okay.
But yeah, they're still on sale.
They're at a discounted price
because we're in the middle of January.
So feel free to get some.
Aukerman, you're selling these calendars pretty hard.
Please buy a calendar.
I suck my life savings into them.
And this is a picture that John DiMaggio brought.
I wrote it out to dear eBay.
So if you want to sell it, I'm serious.
What do you think they'd get for it?
Speaking of being serious.
$20? $25? I have no idea.
Let's just sell it to someone and put the money
in the bag, I say.
Who is this
character? That's Jake the Dog
from Adventure Time.
A
highly popular show for
eight-year-old boys and stoners.
Why are those two things mutually exclusive?
I was getting high at eight.
Suck a dick on the corner for crack money.
Wow.
So when does Comedy Bang Bang the TV program return?
I feel like we'll find out soon.
Oh, okay.
Yes.
But you're about to go into production?
No, I feel like we're going to find out if we are back soon.
Oh.
Yes.
Sorry.
Ooh.
I didn't know we were in that zone.
Spoiler alert.
You're getting ready for it like it's going to happen, though, right?
Like you know the storm might be coming
I've been working out a lot
Trying to lift Reggie
Just in case I ever have to in a scene
Reggie Watts
Trying to teach him how to read
The man can't read
Is that true?
No, he chooses not to.
I've told this story before, but we gave him all the scripts,
and he arrived the first day not having read any of them,
and then said, I kind of like this process
where you just tell me the lines and I say them.
That is a terrific process that he invented.
Keeps him in the moment.
You've got to admit that.
You have to.
It's like on Island of Dr. Moreau, Marlon Brando had an earpiece,
and they'd tell him his lines, and he'd repeat them.
That was actually Les Mis as well.
Those earpieces weren't just for singing.
They were telling them the lines.
I think Beyonce gave a big fuck you to Les Mis with her lip syncing at the thing.
Because nobody knew the difference.
Everyone thought, holy shit, Beyonce.
Right?
Did anyone think it was lip synced?
No.
Did anyone watch it?
Also no.
How did it become clear that she had lip synced?
Somebody in the...
Oh, the military band or some shit like that, right?
Yeah, yeah, the Marine Corps band
fucking looked up and went,
for real? And had to tell
everybody. Couldn't keep
one fucking secret in his goddamn life.
That person's
clearly a big Ashanti fan.
Fucking Ashanti
That's what was going on there
So you've been
Not only Bender on Futurama
But you also are
Beard Papa in
Wreck-It Ralph, Scott Aukerman
Oh you are?
I had a bit part in that
But what is Beard Papa?
I saw the movie but of course
Beard Papa is some saw the movie, but of course I fucked up. You know what?
Beard Papa is some kind of a logo guy. The questions are going to get harder.
I know, man.
I'm struggling right now.
Help me out, bro.
No, he's this spokesmodel thing for this Japanese company that makes...
Cream puffs! That's what it is!
And apparently it's
in Pasadena, right? There's a place in Pasadena
that sells them? So it's like
cream puffs. But the director
of the film, Rich Moore, I worked with
a ton on Futurama.
He directed many, many episodes.
The movie turned out great.
It's great. It's really good.
But do the voice for us right now
real quick. Okay, sure.
Here we go. What's
my character's name again? Beard
Papa. Hi, I'm Beard Papa.
Great job,
John. Thanks.
What did he really sound like? You probably don't remember.
I don't remember.
You do so many things.
It was one line, man.
It was like, I swear to God, I don't remember.
Big Papa in the house.
That's it.
That's it.
That was it right there.
Big Papa, what up?
That was it, too.
No, seriously.
It was just one line, and I was just happy to see Rich.
And he was like, okay, say this one line. And I was like, no, but no. And it one line, and I was just happy to see Rich. And he was like, okay, say this one line.
I was like,
and it was done,
and it was over.
And he was like,
all right, man, great to see you.
All right, cool.
And then all of a sudden,
Wreck-It Ralph came out.
Yeah, you're in a classic, buddy.
Word?
I want more detail about this day.
Oh, word?
So he said, great to see you?
Did you get like an Arrowhead water,
a Kirkland water?
I got a Kirkland water? I got
I got a Kirkland
water
Let's talk about movies
Have you been to the cinema
much lately? Are you too busy being
voices and everything?
Damn, snap
Where did I see the last thing I saw
in the movies? Well, I just saw Les Mis
speaking of that I see the last thing I saw in the movies? Well, I just saw Les Mis, speaking of that.
Sure, sure.
I saw it last night.
It's a little nappy.
Wow, it's way nappy.
It's seriously nappy.
It's good to go...
I like going to sleep to it.
I saw Hitchcock, which was really good.
You like that?
Yeah, I kind of liked it.
Yeah, sure.
I thought Anthony Hopkins was good.
If Hitchcock looked and sounded exactly like Anthony Hopkins,
that's what he would have been like.
But yeah, it was kind of a fun movie.
I said it before and some guy chewed me out on Twitter.
Scarlett Johansson does a really good Janet Leigh in that movie.
I thought she was great.
I don't know.
I thought it was well cast and stuff.
What have you seen, Scott?
Nothing, I think.
I honestly think that like...
We're in the January doldrums.
Yeah, last year was the last time I saw movies.
I, you know, Django and Les Mis and all the stuff.
I saw Django too and Silver Lining Playbook.
Oh, I know you don't like it at all,
but I really like Silver Lining Playbook.
I did not hate it.
I just didn't.
I got tired of all the yelling.
Right.
I wanted more dance contests, less yelling.
My favorite of the year still was The Raid Redemption,
which we saw together.
That was my number one of the year.
So fucking good.
Such a fun movie.
I saw that.
Is that the, it's like Filipino?
Where is that from?
Filipino?
It was shot in the Philippines by a dude from the British Isles.
No, like an Irish dude.
I saw that twice in the theater.
I kept coming.
To the theater to see the raid.
And then just ejaculating all over the seats.
I saw Les Mis last night in my home theater.
Because they finally sent it out to everybody.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They held out for a while.
I'd never seen Les Mis.
I've never seen it, so I didn't know the story.
I didn't know anything about it.
I was like, oh, shit!
Javert!
Oh, shit, Javert! No mercy, Javert Oh shit Javert
No mercy Javert
Seriously
No fucking mercy Javert
The guy stole bread once
No quarter
That's bullshit
But why is he so focused on that one guy
Everyone's so fucking mean in that movie
He owned a bread store
That bitch lost her job and went straight to the streets.
And why did she lose her job?
All the other women in the factory were just like,
oh, this isn't going to work out.
Let's get this bitch out of here.
They have no reason.
She's just over there doing her job, looking pretty.
Jealous because of that fucking herbal essence is hair.
Yeah, the hair is probably a little too
luxurious for how
poor she was.
And by the way... They couldn't let it get frizzy
or some shit like that. So what I didn't understand,
so Jackman...
Ugh. Just picture
Jackman and Hathaway just
chatting about musicals.
I would join them in that conversation.
I bet.
But he's supposed to be this good guy,
and he owns a sweatshop.
You know what I mean?
It's like, I've changed.
I found God.
Also, it's like eight years later.
I'm the mayor.
I know.
A guy with a fake name.
But that's old-timey shit.
I've become a wealthy mayor in eight years.
I feel like that old-timey shit, you could pull that stuff.
There's no Google, you know what I mean?
Yeah, I was a mayor in another town.
All right.
All right.
You still bread?
You ever still bread? No. All right, You still bread? You ever still bread?
No.
All right.
You can hang.
Welcome back to Analyze Miz.
Someone I was talking to today pointed out that
eponine spoiler, turn it off, turn it off.
But please don't say that to my listeners.
Turn off Doug's show, everyone.
You guys don't turn it off.
Turn it off right now.
You've only had 30 years to see Les Mis.
Or to read it.
Or hear about it or read it.
But she dies in it, right?
And she's Sacha Baron Cohen's daughter.
And they don't give a shit, in the least.
She's just dead.
Yeah, that's sort of how it plays in the Broadway show, too.
They show up at that fancy dinner at the end.
That's crazy. They're all just going,
I'm a wacky guy.
Oh, my daughter's dead.
Comic reliefs. Children can just perish
and it doesn't matter.
That is weird, though.
I'm starting to notice more things
that I find strange about the whole enterprise.
I don't like Russell Crowe.
He just showed up for that fucking movie.
He was just like,
wow, man.
That's how it feels.
He's all magnitude.
Feels like he's just pushing
every song.
Every song feels like he's pushing it right from his balls.
By the stars.
He can't breathe. Yeah, he doesn't breathe when he sings.
They get bigger, louder singers to play Javert
every time.
Really? Yeah, yeah.
I think Jeff Goldblum would have been better.
Jeff Daniels would have been better.
Any Jeff in Hollywood
would have been better. Jeff who lives at home?
Would have been better.
Jeff Probst would have been better.
Welcome back to Les Mis. Jeffrey the giraffe from Toys R Would have been better. Mm-hmm. Jeff Probst would have been better. Welcome back to Les Mis.
Jeffrey the giraffe from Toys R Us would be better.
Dahmer.
Hey, Nick, has El Chupacabra seen any movies lately?
Oh, an interesting intro to El Chupacabra.
Has he seen any movies? Has he seen any movies?
Has he seen any movies ever?
He was.
Have you seen any movies
of El Chupacabra?
Peliculus.
No, I have not seen any movies
of recent.
I saw a movie.
Who else has joined us?
The baby.
The baby saw a movie. The baby is here. Yeah, the baby saw a movie. What movie did us? The baby. The baby saw a movie.
The baby is here. Yeah, the baby saw
a movie. What movie did you see, baby?
¿Qué
pelÃcula has visto?
I saw
el
regador
de Ralph.
Which one, baby? Reggae Ralph.
The baby saw Reggae Ralph.
What was your favorite character in Reggae Ralph?
Mr. Mustache.
I assume was translated from his character.
Beard Papa. That's character. Beard popper.
Beard popper. That's right.
Beard popper.
Señor mustache. Señor mustache.
Señor bigote.
Mr. mustache.
Take care, Chupacabra. Thanks for stopping by, you guys.
Kroll Show, 10.30, Wednesday nights after Workaholics.
This is the part of the show. Here's another one of your famous lulls.
People get disappointed if there isn't a lull at some point.
Where were your lulls
that we've become accustomed to?
This podcast isn't enough like Les Mis.
They talk too much in the movie.
Did you not like that?
I was told they didn't talk.
They hardly talk at all in the musical.
I didn't like Mr. Pretty
with the Kermit voice either.
I don't know who it was.
Amanda Seyfried?
Yeah, the guy, the romantic lead.
Mr. Pretty with the Kermit voice.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Eddie Redmayne.
Eddie Redmayne.
Oh, that guy.
He might be a talented actor.
I liked him okay.
Just the voice drove me crazy. Yeah, he went real high with it, but the part is sung that guy. He might be a talented actor. I liked him okay. It's just the voice
drove me crazy.
Yeah,
he went real high with it
but that's the part
is sung that way
other times.
He looks like an off-duty
drag queen,
that guy.
There's something about him
just like,
damn pretty.
Yeah,
they do.
They totally do.
Hey,
what are you,
off-duty?
Yeah,
I just clocked out.
Yeah,
word.
This is one of my
favorite Denny's.
Babies love Denny's.
What did old man Juarez think about Les Mis?
I'm wondering.
It seems like it would be right up his alley.
They're very fair pricey.
I think he said they were very fair prices.
Very fair prices.
I don't have much money on Medicare.
Seems like with the secret that he revealed on last week's CBV,
he'd be into it.
And just to remind the listeners out there
and other people who may have participated in that,
what did he reveal?
He revealed a torturous secret
he's been living with
for his entire life.
He had a secret love
of another man,
his roommate.
Oh, my God.
I'm gay.
Yo soy gay. Yo soy gay.
Yo soy gay.
That's his favorite catchphrase.
Ah, it's Alzheimer's.
I have Alzheimer's.
Oh, I thought you said you love Neil Simon.
Richard, go hand in hand.
I do love Neil Simon plays Richard, go hand in hand. I do love Neil Simon play,
but I have Alzheimer's.
Oh, he has Alzheimer's,
so he didn't remember outing himself.
Right.
Do you notice the posture I take
when I do the characters?
Isn't that the plot of that movie,
Beginners, with Christopher Plummer?
That's like my favorite movie from last year.
I still haven't seen it.
Oh, it's great.
I heard that you see it.
Do you see that?
A cat's thoughts.
I heard it's great.
Oh, it's great.
Christopher Plummer's awesome.
It's great.
So Mike Mills made that, and then his wife, she made the crazy, oh, fuck.
What's her name?
Does anyone know?
She looks like Kristen Schaal. Yeah, Miranda July is Mike Mills' wife. What was the what's her name? Does anyone know? She looks like Kristen Schaal.
Miranda July is Mike Mills' wife.
What was the name of her movie?
The Future.
You guys should go to game night together.
Where you give all the answers.
That was pretty good.
But they're married to each other
and when you watch both movies
it's interesting.
It informs one another's movies
when you see both of them coming out.
So that's one of my famous lulls
that I've added to...
The baby in Old Man's Forest
probably has some thoughts on that, too.
They took off when I started on this little run.
I like how you can keep track of them like that.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
They come and go.
Okay.
Let the games...
begin, citizens of Los Angeles.
Gentlemen, this is the part where you get up and you pick a name tag
from all the delightful name tags that you could choose from.
There's some interesting ones out there.
Yeah, just go ahead and go and grab it.
There's some interesting ones out there.
Yeah, just go ahead and go and grab it.
There looks to be someone who... I leaked that you were going to be here, John,
so he's playing directly to you.
There's another one over there, but he blew it.
Is that your real passport?
It's always a clever move.
Oh, yeah, take his passport.
Yeah, absolutely.
Let's set it on fire.
Hey, UCB, security, this guy just tried to steal my wallet.
Canada.
This is your passport.
Okay.
Howard Sheffman.
That's not a young man's name.
Howard Sheffman. That's not a young man's name. Howard Sheffman.
It's tight in the crutch.
I hurt my grun.
Because it's tight in the crutch.
We're all looking at you like you're looking for something in there,
but we just need his name.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Howard Sheffman.
Okay, so Nick's playing for Howard
Sheffman.
And
that's really a creative name tag, Howard.
I want to
tear it up.
I've never had such a desire
to tear something up. That's why you picked it?
Because you just want to destroy it?
Yeah.
Because a lot of these people made some effort to make a nice name tag
and then you picked a guy with a passport.
What did this guy do? Just give me the most important piece of identification
he owns.
What do you got there, John?
I got a picture of Bender
and it says, bite my shiny metal Bob.
So I'm playing for Bob.
He's in the front row.
Let's just make sure.
Is your name Shiny?
Shiny Bob.
Shiny metal or Bob?
Shiny and Bob.
All right.
What does Bender sound like?
He sounds like this.
He's a combination of three things.
A drunk at the end of any bar.
Slim pickings,
and a guy that my friend
made up in college called
Charlie the Sausage Guy.
Charlie is a sausage lover.
Sausage is fun to have fun
holding all kinds of sausages.
You can have tiny,
tiny, mild sausage,
sweet, sweet Italian sausage. You can have brats. You can have brats,, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny in college. Yeah, you put them all together in a blender and you get
Bender!
I love that.
That's Slim Pickens.
That guy's a goddamn treasure.
In 1941, he's so funny
in that goddamn movie.
Blazing Saddles was my favorite.
Who is he in Blazing Saddles?
He's the...
He's the...
What in the hell in the wide
wide world of sports
is going on.
I told you boys to come out here and lay some rail.
Wide world of sports.
Totally.
Another time he calls a bunch of people Kansas
City faggots. Exactly.
He does. I told you boys
to come out and lay some rail.
Not jump around like a bunch of Kansas City faggots.
But he says faggots.
He doesn't say faggots, he says faggots.
Who's got change?
Anybody got any dimes?
Oh, shit.
Somebody's got to go back and get a shitload of dimes.
Fucking love that fucking movie.
Oh, man, that movie.
I could watch that movie a lot.
Oh, god damn it. You should do
a one-man show where you
just say things he says. Sandwire,
main office, tell them
I said, Al, got you.
He gets hit on the head.
I know that whole fucking movie. It's retarded.
Daddy love froggy?
Why am I asking you?
These are blazing saddles!
Yay!
Did you know that
Gig Young was playing the
Gene Wilder role in that movie
and the first day on the set he had to do
the hanging upside down in the prison cell scene
and he like never recovered like he was just too he had to do the hanging upside down in the prison cell scene. And he never recovered.
He was just too fucked up to do it.
Yeah, Gig Young.
It would have been a crazy different movie with that guy in there instead of Gene Wilder.
Gene Wilder is genius.
And Mel Book called up Gene Wilder and said, hey, do you want to play Black Bart?
Get down here.
Let's do it.
And he said, OK.
Listen, Bart.
He just jumped right into it.
And he's so great.
He's so good in that.
And Richard Pryor was supposed to be
Cleavon Little's part.
Yeah, exactly.
Because he wrote it.
Because he wrote it.
And then the studio didn't trust him.
They wanted a star.
Yeah.
Cleavon did a good job, though.
He was great.
Yeah, real good.
He was awesome.
God, that's one of my favorite movies ever.
I had the feeling you might have liked it
from knowing every line from the movie. I had the feeling you might have liked it from knowing
every line from the movie.
I had a tape.
Just don't do the campfire scene.
Don't worry about it.
I'm doing it live.
Fuck it, we're going live.
We're doing it.
Yeah, exactly. Wait, hold on
Do I have it?
Sorry
For anybody who didn't turn the show off
When Scott asked them to
Yeah
Exactly
The stragglers are all getting out now
But we should
I want to say that I got Dick Dale's
oh that's right what's your name tag
it's either Dick or Dale I don't know
or maybe neither
your name is Dale and that's your face
you put over his face on the Dick Dale
album cover
nicely done
that's why I picked it
did it detect some sort of accent no album cover? Nicely done. Great. That's why I picked it. Do I detect
some sort of accent?
No.
Okay.
Anybody could say
no without an accent.
Javier Bardem
could just be like,
no.
No.
So,
here's the thing.
I... Can I just... I'm sorry to please please
so I took this guy's Canada passport
and in the opening of the Canada passport
it says the minister of foreign affairs
of Canada requests
in the name of her majesty the queen
all those who
wait so like so you're still your
passport is still based on the queen of another country get a life canada
i'm just gonna cut that part i've already had problems with Canada.
That's cool, though.
It's a nice piece of comedy.
Because I was just going to say that John DiMaggio's never heard the show before.
And, you know, he's a busy man.
And I haven't watched all of his cartoons.
See?
So take it easy.
So we're even.
Yes.
But,
I just don't feel like
explaining the
Leonard Maltin game to him.
Okay.
No,
why not?
Well,
because we've got
13 minutes left.
Uh-huh.
Because we're having
so much fun just talking
and making noises.
I bet if I named,
what's another movie you'd love
as much as Blazing Saddles?
I don't know, Bananas is pretty funny.
Bananas is the best, do something from Bananas.
Suck out the poison.
Suck out the poison.
Suck out the poison. Suck out the poison.
I think I should suck out the poison. Suck out the poison. Suck out the poison. I think I should suck out the poison.
Oh, yeah.
Wait, was that Woody Allen on Entourage?
Yes.
That was awesome.
Oh, yeah.
What's happening with the Murphy group?
You know?
I mean, come on. Vince, you're Murphy group? You know? I mean, come on.
Vince, you're my roommate, you know?
I love you, you know?
We're going out, so.
There it is.
So this is what I'm thinking.
Let's just play one round, winner take all,
of how much did this shit make
what's that
explain it to me
how much did this shit make
we've played this a few times on the show
I tell you the name of a movie
everyone bids on how much
they thought that that shit made
price is right style
made in gross?
adjusted gross?
no adjustments
just domestic box office
and if it's one of those movies that got re-released a few times
that counts
but it's not
and you can
just like Price is Right you can bid a dollar
but if you go over you're over?
it's closest
to that going over
remember that shit? still going right? over? It's closest to that going over. Closest to that going over.
Remember that shit?
Still going, right? Yeah, it's on every day.
DC!
I remember the
bargain version.
It's like doing an Obama impression
saying, remember that shit?
Yeah, I know.
But who won the election, though?
You mean in more of a spiritual sense?
Yeah.
Who won?
Carrie?
I think...
The Stephen King novel?
Stephen King?
Yeah.
Yeah, he always wins.
He's a king, not a president.
Can a remake of Carrie
be any good?
Is it possible?
Ooh, the tough questions.
Well, this is like
the third one,
isn't it?
Because they retook it.
They tried it again before.
They've tried a couple
of Broadway musicals.
Oh.
Nobody seems to be able
to get a good one going,
but this one is...
We're all going gonna laugh at you
this is gonna have
wait
I just noticed
they're all gonna laugh at you
the Sandler bit
the Sandler CD
he says that over and over again
you sure you didn't get it from there
no that's Piper Laurie
and Carrie the The mother.
All right.
They're all going to
laugh at you.
Okay, Sandler.
Are we sure that she
didn't steal it from Sandler?
Now that I'm not sure of.
That could have been it.
Sloppy Joe's.
Sloppy, sloppy Joe's.
What if Woody Allen
liked a sloppy Joe?
You know, I just don't really like sloppy Joe? You know, I just, I'm really into sloppy Joe, so yeah.
You sound like David Wayne doing a character.
It's a very specific Woody Allen of the one where he, like,
gets really introspective with a girl,
where he, like, corners her on the street.
He's like, you know, I just feel really in love with you.
I like that you just have one tonal version of Woody Allen.
Did someone just yell the Pink Panther?
Why?
It sounds like it.
It sounds like the Pink Panther?
The Pink Panther doesn't talk.
Yeah, he wasn't...
What the fuck are you on, man?
In the movies, the Pink Panther is a diamond.
He's not a person.
Snagglepuss, you think he's a...
Ah, Snagglepuss.
Exit, stage left even.
That is correct.
Well done.
You usually don't get to stick around
for the adjustment with a heckle.
Oh.
don't get to stick around for the adjustment with a heckle.
I want to do a thing where
people just shout impressions for us to do
and we buzz in. Oh, I love it!
Let's go. Start shouting.
Tom DeLuise.
Scott just buzzed in
for Dom DeLuise.
Stop.
I really wanted to buzz in.
I don't know if I can.
Okay, go ahead.
What does he say in Blazing Saddles?
Watch me, faggots.
Fucking.
Yeah.
Stick out your hands.
No, no.
Throw out your hands.
Stick out your toots.
This is the way we're doing.
Okay, that's enough.
No more singing.
No more singing.
That's better.
Because I don't want to pay for that song.
Carson, he says.
Carson?
Cartman or Carson?
I'll do Cartman-Carson.
The, uh,
peers, uh,
looks like they killed Kenny.
Wow.
That was all right, man.
So it was more sounded like one had the attitude of the other.
Sure, yeah.
I like it.
Bruce Valanche.
Bruce Valanche.
Buzz in, somebody.
Does anybody know even what he sounded like?
No, but he just looks like him.
Sound dead?
He's alive.
Oh, shit. He took a vow of silence today. He's... Sound dead? He's alive. Oh, shit!
He took a vow of silence today.
Yo, you weren't reading the trade?
He's dead to me.
Bruce Valanche looks like
a Muppet with Down Syndrome.
Aww.
What kind of mind thinks
it's funny to yell out
Michael J. Fox?
Wait, I'll do Michael J. Fox.
Okay, here we go.
Here you go.
Doc!
Paul Lind.
Come on, Doc.
Paul Lind?
Oh, fuck.
Go ahead.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Center square for the block.
Paul, what's there a shortage of in Brazil?
I don't know, shoes and fathers?
This is my impression of Paul Lynde walking into a room full of women.
Oh my God, it smells like pussy in here.
I think.
See, this is so much better than watching him be confused by my game.
By the way, I thought they had asked for an impression of Homeland.
Wait, I got that.
Scott's got it.
What the fuck are you doing, Carrie?
That's in the opening credits.
What the fuck are you doing?
Oh, is that Mandy Patinkin? Yeah, that's Patinkin in the opening credits What the fuck are you doing? Oh is that Mandy Patinkin?
Yeah that's Patinkin
In the opening song
The greatest lyric of any song
Mandy Patinkin
He's got the highest singing voice
Of any actor alive
Scott wrote
Had him sing in a motion picture
That Scott was writing on
Oh wait
I think I remember.
The Mr. Show movie.
Yes, that's right. Exactly, I saw that.
He could not care less about me.
Really? Yeah, did not give me the time of day.
But it was his idea to have his naked
ass hanging out of his stupid
outfit, right?
He came to the set and asked to do that.
Yeah. He was like, you know what?
I don't like the scene as written. What if I got naked?
We were just like, what? Okay don't like the scene as written. What if I got naked? We were just like,
what?
Okay.
Sure,
if you want to.
What a scoop.
There you go.
There's an 11-year-old scoop.
Now go sell it,
DiMaggio with the hat.
Yeah.
Aw.
Your papes.
What's in the papes?
X-Tree, X-Tree, read all about it.
How much did this shit make?
The motion picture.
Two out of the three panelists are in this motion picture.
What?
Yeah, that's right.
Not me? John plays an EMT.
And Nick plays Young Doctor.
Okay.
Which we've discussed on the show before and the film is called Little Fockers
and I know you guys aren't the types that really
stare at the box office results of things you were involved in
Oh, on this one I did
Well you might have an advantage then
So let's start down here with Scott
Let's have Scott go first
Closest number without going over
Worldwide or domestic?
Domestic
Okay
According to boxofficemojo.com
67.8
67.8.
I don't know what that audience noise meant.
What do you think, John? I don't really know.
85 million.
Straight shot.
No.8.
86.3.
86.3.
Whoa.
Can we just take a second?
You really want that small of a difference
between your number and John's?
That he put 85 and I want to say 86-3?
Yeah, that's a really tiny window you have there.
But if it's without going over,
price is lifestyle.
As long as I'm above...
You should just do 85-1.
Oh, I see what you're saying.
Yeah.
Isn't this your game?
It is.
Wow.
But why don't I just do 85.1?
Because I think outside the box.
That's why I was in the movie
Little Fockers.
Let's get another fucking turn.
Wait a minute.
You don't get two turns.
He said 86.3.
Come on.
He didn't get two turns.
Well, fuck.
I'm saying 86.3.
Don't you worry.
I was teasing him
Just like when I decided to do the movie, little fuckers,
I didn't think twice about it.
No, it's good strategy, what he did.
Shit.
Yeah.
60 what?
I said 86.3.
86.3.
86.3.
I said 86.3.
86.3.
It made 148 million.
So Nick Kroll is our winner.
Yay!
That strategy worked.
Now, are you going to have to get all this back through, like, customs to Canada?
Oh, okay.
I'll take back the rolling paper. Do you live here, Howard?
I don't.
Here you go.
You're here on vacation?
He came to visit.
He came to the show.
Oh, yeah, don't forget this stuff.
All the prizes.
Let's put all the prizes in that bag.
Shit.
Let's get all the prizes in there.
Oh, and there's your passport back.
And yeah, so that's what I'm going to read
here at the end of the show.
Is there a shithead on the back of his?
You don't want to ruin his album.
I wish Howard had lost
so that he would have had to write
someone was a shithead on his passport.
The Queen of England.
Yeah.
She is Oprah, right?
Okay, Scott, you get to hit a shithead also.
Write down a shithead for me to say at the end.
I get a shithead?
Yeah, yeah.
For the first time, I'm letting a guest pick a shithead.
Oh, wow.
And I'll say it.
Welcome.
I'll totally say it.
God, so many shitheads in the world.
I'd let you all do it.
So, did you get all your plugs in during the course of the show, Nick Kroll?
No, I'll repeat it one more time.
I've never been so desperate to plug something before in my life.
I know, you're normally just very relaxed about it.
No, no, no, no, no.
I have an agenda here.
We get through a whole episode where you never mention the league.
I will mention Kroll Show, which is my sketch show,
which is on right now
every Wednesday,
10.30,
9.30 Central
after Workaholics.
Thank you.
So fucking watch it,
DVR it,
and don't write
mean things to me
on Twitter
or to my handle.
It really hurts
my feelings.
Would you say
if people are going
to DVR it, they should just save it
until six months from now and watch it then?
No, I'd say in the plus three or plus
seven category of amount of time
so that
you're
counted.
What do you got to plug, John DiMaggio?
Well, out there on IFC,
it's airing after
Portlandia. It's a new IFC, it's airing after Portlandia.
It's a new animated cartoon, and it's very, as opposed to a non-animated cartoon.
No, but it's a really funny show.
And let's see, Adventure Time is currently running on Cartoon Network.
And we'll have new Futuramas in the summer as well.
Which corner do we have to go to if we want to buy your papes?
Oh, word?
Want to buy my papes, yo?
Oh, you know what?
I want to buy your papes.
Actually, I'm executive producing a film called I Know That Voice.
And it's a documentary about cartoon voiceover people.
And we're just about ready to wrap this thing up.
June Foray involved?
June Foray is involved.
I mean, everybody. Maurice LaMarche.
Maurice LaMarche, Billy West,
Hank Azaria, Nancy Cartwright,
Rob Paulson,
Great Elisle.
Great Elisle.
Dan couldn't do it.
Tress McNeil did not want to do it.
What about Scooby-Doo?
Scooby didn't do it. No, no, it. What about Scooby-Doo? Scooby didn't do it.
No, no, no. The actual Scooby-Doo.
Oh, no.
We couldn't get Scooby-Doo.
No, no, no, no.
And Scott, do you have any plugs?
Listen to my podcast,
Comedy Bang Bang. I also have Analyze Fish.
Just came out, number fifth episode.
Do you want to do an Analyze Miz? Yeah, let's do it. I'm up for anything you want to do an Analyze Miz?
Yeah, let's do it. I'm up for it. Let's do an
Analyze Miz. I would love to analyze Miz.
As the world's biggest Les Mis fan.
You're saying you like the motion picture?
I like it because it's a motion
picture of a show that I like. That's why
I like it. I like some. I could do music. I could
defend musicals all day.
But I've gone, like Harris goes on tour with Fish,
I go on tour with Les Mis.
I go to all their shows.
I take Molly and go to Les Mis shows.
One more time for Nick Kroll,
John DiMaggio,
and Scott Aukerman.
Wait here,
I'm going to take a picture during the closing song.
And as always, I mixed these up so no one will know who said which one.
As always, Will Ansbach is a shithead.
And Zap Brannigan Yeah, I guess you did that one.
is the shithead.
And President Barack Hussein Obamacare
is the shithead.
Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie
Eyes of gold and viewing crowd was makes it talkie
There's no room in his heart for you Cause Doug loves movies