Doug Loves Movies - Nick Swardson, Dave Holmes, and Rob Delaney Guest

Episode Date: September 15, 2010

Doug welcomes three newcomers to the show: comedians Rob Delaney, Dave Holmes, and Nick Swardson.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, greenie babies, sticky seeds With 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey everybody Hey You don't need to respond My name is Doug Hey, everybody. Hey! You don't need to respond.

My name is Doug. I yelled at the guy for responding last week or the week before, two weeks ago. My name is Doug, and I love movies, and this is Doug Loves Movies, coming to you from the UCB Theater in Los Angeles in front of a live audience. Yeah, that's them right there. Thank you.

On Tuesday, September 14th, 2010, I had a great weekend, you guys. I want to thank everyone who came out to the Comedy Factory in Baltimore and the Arlington Drafthouse in Arlington, Virginia. We played the Leonard Maltin game

three for three shows last weekend. Every show, the audience demanded it, and we played the Leonard Maltin game uh three for three shows last weekend every show the audience demanded it and we played it and one dude pulled the movie wag the dog out of his ass it was amazing and I think his name was Jules so if you're listening Jules good work might not be Jules it's a black dude I remember remember that. So, named Jules. Speaking of the Len Maltin game, was I? Yes. The Tournament of Champions took place last night

at the Largo Theater here in Los Angeles. And it will be available, by the time you're listening to this, it should be available on iTunes in the comedy album section for a mere 99 cents. And Jimmy Pardo, Ricky Lindholm, and Matt Brawner all go head-to-head in a very exciting conclusion to what's been years in the making.

And so check that out. And on September 27th is the next Doug Benson Interrupts Movies at CineFamily here in Los Angeles. You can go to cinefamily.com for tickets. I don't know what movie we're going to show yet, but if the screenings that we've had for Friday the 13th Part 3D and Torque are any indication, it'll be more fun than watching a shitty movie

without me saying stuff during it. And my guests tonight, let's do this, three, this is the theme of the show, three funny dudes who have never been on the podcast before, and hopefully they're actually in the building. Please welcome everybody,

Dave Holmes, Rob Delaney, and Nick Swartzen. You know, one out of three isn't bad. It is just me. It is just Dave Holmes. We'll just turn this shit into a DVD on TV episode. What do you got up in the booth? Can we just show a movie and then Dave will say facts about it?

And I'll pretend to be the hot girl? Is this on? Delaney is parking. Oh, okay. So Rob Delaney, don't panic. Rob Delaney is here. He's here Delaney Don't panic Rob Delaney Is here He's here somewhere

Nick Swartzen on the other hand Nowhere near This will be This will be the third time He said he's gonna do the podcast And then stood me up entirely Usually there's a text involved Let's see if he's texted me

Recently Yeah there's Rob Delaney Hey buddy Hello Nice to see you recently. Yeah, there's Rob Delaney. Hey, buddy. Nice to see you. Thank you for coming. You can go ahead and pick up a microphone and speak into it. Say hi.

Hi, everybody. I apologize for being late. I'm going to do my best to make up for it. So far, you're doing great. I love your energy. It's all in the face. Have people made signs? Is that a regular thing?

Do people make signs? Yeah, people. I should have warned you about that so we didn't have to have this conversation. Well, yours, Sean and what's that one? Lance? I think that's a Sean. I think you would pronounce it Sean. No, Lance, though, I was asking about.

Sean and Lance have actual Price is Right type name tags on. And then Melody and Casey have drawn elaborate signs. Casey, that's a depiction of last night at Largo. I fell out of the chair at one point. He drew that on. We've got Derek and Ryan. But yes, later in the show when we play the Leonard Maltin game, you will select from the audience name tags,

the people you'd like to play for, and then they can win a whole bag full of prizes. Did you remember to bring something for me to give the folks, Rob Delaney? I am going to give money to people. How much you got, like two bucks? I have four dollars. Stop there. That's nice.

We'll take that We'll put that in the prize pool Delaney, there's a ten in there There's Nick Oh, it's just a lady I got ten euros Ten motherfucking euros You want to put that in too?

Because when are you going back there, right? That's a lot of money, I think That's awesome That's, you know's a lot of money, I think. That's awesome. That's, you know. Wait a second, one of those dollars was a ten. That's what I was

trying to tell you. Oh, well, hey, now you want that one, don't you? You can have that one back. Yeah, okay. You can't have that one. You gotta have bus fare.

Thank you so much. Thank you so much. So Rob is a very funny stand-up comedian whose Twitter name is at Rob Delaney. I use my name, yeah. Uses his name. No extra thes or underscore or any of that.

You were an early adopter. It was still available. Yeah, I got in there towards the beginning, I guess. Towards the beginning of the Rob Delaney gold rush? Damn it, I wanted that name. I'm sure there's other Rob Delanys on there. There are. I'm going to go with Robert.

Bless him. Or a middle initial or some shit. Underscores. And Dave Holmes, your name is just Dave Holmes, right? That's just Dave Holmes, yeah. H-O-L-M-E-S. That is correct. And I enjoy following your Twitter as well.

Thank you very much. Yeah, I enjoy following yours. I'm getting the Twitter talk out of the way in case Nick Swartzen actually shows up because he's not on Twitter. I wish he was. I don't want to be rude and make him feel bad. He's such a good one-two punch joke writer. He is. He's a very funny man and I'd love to have him on the podcast

someday. He might come running in at some point but that's not his style. His style is to not show up at all. I was telling Dave backstage, he lives in Venice, so I'm guessing he got in the car, drove for a little bit,

and went, oh, fuck this. That was my problem. I came from Santa Monica. All the way across town, yeah. So maybe he's making a game effort to make it. He's not. Let's be honest with ourselves. And he's living by the law and not texting me while driving.

That's what I'm counting on. That's why I haven't heard from him. Traffic is part of the deal when you live on the west side. You should know about it. If you've been here for more than 72 hours, you should say that to him when he gets here. I will. I hope you reprimand him.

I'm absorbing that as though it's partially meant for me, which it should be. You're here. I was late. Which which it should be. You're here. I was late, which is unacceptable. Fine. You're here. So, Mr. David Holmes, what would you say, how long have you been doing DVD on TV? Seven years.

Woo-hoo. Wow. Six or seven seasons, and one person acknowledges. Okay, I've got two questions. That is one more than should. I've got two questions. First of all more than should. I got two questions. First of all, why do you always

show Die Hard? Every time I tune in, that's what you're showing. Because people always watch it. How can you not watch it? Plus, there's extra interesting tidbits.

Sure. Deleted tidbits. Bruce Willis really got four shards of glass in his foot during this scene. You're like, that's the scene

where he's not even fighting anybody yet. And then the other question is, and can you even say, can you bad mouth the movies that you've shown on there? I could, but 9.9 times out of 10,

I have not seen them. Oh, you've not, you've just not seen them at all? I just don't see them. Because I am not going to watch Die Hard with a vengeance. I'm not. Could you watch it just normally? No.

Instead of with a vengeance? No. I used to ask for the DVDs, and then they piled up, and I never watched them, and so now I just don't anymore. I just show up and read my lines and I leave. Paul Gilmartin watches every single movie

for dinner in a movie. Does he? Yeah, because then he comes up with those great recipes. Of course. Can I act out? Blues Brothers

soup in a hat. What? They don't eat soup out of a hat in that movie? Can I act out really the only important part of Die Hard with a Vengeance? Please. It's just the title

sequence. Basically, they go it's the song Hot Town Summer in the City. They go Die Hard. The words Die Hard come together. They do it again. They go with a vengeance. And that slams together and it's really fun

and then the movie is shit. Wow. You encapsulated the entire thing. And you never read a Cliff Notes. It's like, and the rest of it is shit. Tell that to your teacher. So, Dave, what is that you've actually seen the worst movie

you've had to sit there and sincerely give tidbits about oh shit I'd imagine Jennifer Lopez is in it if I had to guess I don't know that we've ever done a Jennifer Lopez movie

we tend to not do like romantic comedies and stuff it's almost always things where it's always something with action in it yeah

it's something with action in it or it's something where an actor who's done a few movies teaches or coaches a bunch of people that are like, one of them's a rapper, you know what I mean? Or like, and one of them used to be in a girl group, and then she gets pregnant or whatever. Like, there's the Coach Carters and the Freedom Riders. Shall we dance? I don't think we've done Shall We Dance.

With Antonio Banderas? No. I am the next next B. Yeah, it's... I only bring up Antonio Banderas so I can then say I am the next next B. That's fun to say. That's fun to say. Rob, have you ever been in a movie?

A real movie? I got cut out of... Oh, I love cut out of stories. I Heart Huckabees. You were of I Heart Huckabees you were in I Heart Huckabees? and then the trailer too? yeah I'm in the trailer oh I have a great part in the trailer but then in the film itself

I'm not so much in it so much at all like completely cut you can I know I'm in it I see oh you're almost like an extra now

yeah what happened was in the movie Naomi Watts burns her house down completely cut. You can, I know I'm in it. I see. Oh, you're almost like an extra now. Yeah. What happened was in the movie, Naomi Watts burns her house down because she goes crazy and I save her personally. I'm the fireman who goes in and gets her. Oh,

fireman. how are you doing? She's like, oh, I'm on fire and I carry her out. Are those your lines? Yeah.

And then they cut that part out and she's just out from the fire. But really, how'd she get out? You never know, which is, I think why the film didn't do that. Well,

are you with it? Have you looked at the DVD extras? Maybe they put it in there. I want to say that I haven't, but I did. I will say this though. The only cool thing that happened is I'm wearing a big fireman suit and those have hooks and spikes, as you know.

And I throw her little flimsiness up on my shoulder and one of my fire hooks ripped her shirt off. I didn't know this, but it showed her boobies to all the guys behind me. So after I put her down, the guys were like, thank you. And I was like, for what?

And they were like, for showing us her boobs. And I was like, oh, I didn't even see them. Just rent anything she's in other than King Kong, I think. Yeah, you'll be able to check them out. I think Nick Swartzen was cut out of, or he's just briefly in Almost Famous. Because in the trailer, he screams something about David Bowie.

Oh, yeah. And then I think either that exact moment is in the movie and he's in it no more, like that's the whole part, or it got cut. I forget which one. I don't remember that from the movie. So maybe it got cut.

But in the trailer, I think Nick's screaming all excited about Bowie for some reason. Might be talking about a knife. I don't know. The movie's about recording artists, but he could have been talking about a Bowie knife. Bowie!

I can't wait to ask him when he gets here. What really happened with that. So that was your one big movie experience, Rob? Yeah, I'm in the Upright Citizens Brigade improvised movie that came out recently. Oh, that's cool. And with all respect to them, I don't know if that so much counts. It doesn't. Yeah.

So other than that, I do shows here, and I've been on TV shows and stuff, but movies. Film has yet to offer me a berth. and stuff, but movies... Film has yet to offer me a birth. Well, you'll get one, I'm sure. Especially if word gets out about that you're willing to show off other actors' boobies. Oh, in the UCB movie, Amy Poehler eats whipped cream off my naked ass.

So that's a thing. That's a thing that happened. I can't imagine... Could like, someday meeting her children? Oh, I hope I never do. And being like, you know, she ate stuff off of my ass. May our paths never cross. Not that you would tell them. Not that that's how you'd open the conversation.

Hello, little boy. Cody. Edwina. Your mother ate whipped cream off my ass. Get this, little boy. Cody. Edwina. Your mother ate whipped cream off my ass. Get this, little guy. So that whole movie was improvised? How do you improvise whipped cream off of somebody's ass? How did that come about?

Things can actually happen in improv. With actual whipped cream and naked asses? Maybe. Well, there was loose structure. Did she mime licking it off? Oh, she didn't lick it. It wasn't like a... It wasn't like a...

Hello, Dark Star! It was more of a... She used a utensil in the form of her finger, and it was like, mm, whipped cream, and then kind of a mimey lick. Because there was never any whipped cream. No, there was real whipped cream.

Cream. Because all the best improv has whipped cream standing by. Always. All right. I'm done with that. So, Nick Swartzen. Because I was going to ask him after I said to you, have you been in any movies?

I was going to turn to Nick and go, have you been in any movies? I was going to turn to Nick and go, have you been in any movies? Yay! Next question. Welcome. Welcome, buddy. Yeah, shake hands with everyone. That's the way to do it.

This looks like that same material like when somebody has a fake rock and they throw it at you. That's what your hoodie looks like to me. It looks totally fake rock style. So, okay, I was asking them a question, hoping that they would be able to answer for you, but now that you're here, have you ever been

in any movies? No. I've never even seen a movie. I heard they're great. It's a really fun thing to do, is go to movies and be in movies. You're in a couple movies. I've been in a couple talkies. Yeah, I've done some movies.

Yeah, all right. Were you going to bag on them? Which was? No, I always like you in your movies, so that saves my ass when we're standing next to each other at a party. Because if I didn't like you in them, then we'd really be in trouble.

But you know how it is. Varying degrees of quality in movies that a person's hired to be in. Yes, of course. The ones you wrote were the two of the best ones. Thank you. I don't know which ones you wrote.

Jaws. Jaws. You wrote Jaws. Jaws. And The Exorcist. The Exorcist. Yeah. You wrote both of those.

Yeah. Chilling. Yeah. And I'm writing it. Your mother sucks cocks in hell. It was you. You came up with that. And they were like,

that's not appropriate for a shark movie. And you're like, all right, I'll write another movie. I'm getting that line in a movie, you assholes. And I'm going to build a time machine

because Exorcist came before Jaws. Right? Didn't it? I think so. They're pretty close together, though. They're like, why does a shark throw up in the priest's face? I'll write another fucking movie, man. Just say the word. I got too many ideas for one movie. Let's just do the shark in this one. Alright, fine, I'll just be the word. I got too many ideas for one movie. Let's just do the shark in this one.

Alright, fine. I'll just be a shark. That's awesome. But like if you had to pick a movie that you wish you weren't in, is there one that would qualify for that? Or I don't want you to insult anybody that you may still

Actually, honestly there isn't. I can't think of one. Oh, wait. What about Almost Famous? Yeah. That movie was horrendous. Were you just in the trailer or were you in the movie too?

I was in the movie for like two seconds. The same two seconds that are in the trailer. Yes. I don't know if any of you saw Almost Famous, but I just did one part. It was cool because I auditioned for Cameron Crowe. seconds that are in the trailer yes i don't know if any of you saw almost famous but i did uh i just did one part it was cool because i auditioned for cameron crowe who's fucking i think it's just a genius and um anything i wasn't really right for what i was auditioning for and he was like i want to find something i just want to put you in some fucking i don't know how

so i just showed up you're not right for the Cameron Diaz role you're not right as a role of cocaine no but uh so I just improvised a day I came to set and then

the only thing that made the movie was just me screaming I just scream oh my god it's David Bowie yeah and

but the best part was that it made the trailer so that it looked like Swartzen's in this fucking thing yeah and then you watch it and, Swartzen's in this fucking thing. Yeah, and then you watch it and fucking Mark Maron's in it more than you.

And he says nine words. Yeah. Every other comic. A couple more words. And Jimmy Fallon's in it quite a bit. Yeah, and Hedberg. Hedberg's in it? Uh-huh.

What does he do? He just plays a guy smoking pot. With Peter Frampton or something. What? Yeah, it's something like that. With Peter Frampton or something. What? Yeah, it's something like that. You were watching the extras or something. No. No, it was in it.

No. And I forgot to ask you, Dave. Have you been in a motion picture? Yeah, I have a very small part in Balls of Fury. Ping pong movie. You know it? You know it? You know it?

They tried with that. That was a good effort. Lots of funny people in it. It was an enjoyable day or two. I got to... I was in two scenes and one of them was it was at Christopher Walken who plays this guy who wants to be Chinese

and he has this lair and his lair was where they shot Oh Shererry the steve perry video no remember that the big the big staircase where he's going down and she's at the bottom right is it just me it's just me um but i appreciated it enough for all of you i went in and i fucking and like and christopher walk and walk past me i was like great go there's you know craft is over there but like but i saw the fucking staircase where Steve Perry walked down. It almost fell out.

Yeah, it's weird. Little things will just make you. I saw a location. I saw a spot in Baltimore when I was there a few days ago that was a scene from The Wire took place in that one spot. And I got excited about being near it. And there's no reason to because what's really special about it is they just shot a scene there. And I like that show.

So it's just weird. Have you ever done anything weird, Nick? Let's open this up. Let's get crazy and talk about weird shit we've done. But now Nick You've never heard the podcast No Don't feel bad about it

I don't Don't be whatever that emotion is you're playing Because I haven't heard any podcast I never listened to it You don't have that kind of life I just don't, I don't know. I don't even know what the fuck I do.

I just kind of float around and fucking drink booze. But I've done so many podcasts, and I never have seen any. I never heard them. Seen them. You can't see them, but can you see them? Some of you can. Yeah, there's video podcasts and audio. This is strictly audio.

And this is... Where do you hear this? On iTunes? Mm-hmm. Okay. I know about iTunes. People can go to douglovesmovies.com and just listen to it right there. And it'd be weird if anybody did it right now, but...

Because they're already listening to it. You don't have to tell them how to listen to it when they're listening to it. Okay. But have to tell them how to listen to it when they're listening to it. Okay. But what were you going to say? I was just... Did you see any good movies this summer? I feel like this was kind of a weak summer for talkies.

Yeah, well, my favorite movie was a pretty big bomb. That was Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. It was my favorite summer movie. Oh, really? Yeah, I enjoyed that a great deal. You know, I saw that it was really funny. What? MacGruber.

MacGruber is a lot funnier than anyone gives it credit for. I thought it was really fucking funny. You have to like violence and fart jokes a lot. Because it's really violent. Like, I love how violent it is. It's really violent, but... Like, Will Forte really goes for goes for it. Like, when you think an SNL movie, a lot of people don't realize, like,

it's like a hard R. And SNL movies are usually R-not like that, but that one they, like, really went for it. They went nuts, but also, like, the guy that directed it, the style of it is cool. Like, I like the, it did a good job of, you know, it may be no hot fuzz, but it still did a pretty

good job of parodying that, it may be no hot fuzz, but it still did a pretty good job of parodying that genre or whatever. Did you see that, Rob? Not yet, but I'd like to. You have such a pleasant presence in this situation. I haven't spent that much time with you personally. I just read your tweets and they seem like they're from an

angrier person than the guy sitting here right now i'm a i think a lot more well adjusted than my tweets which i mean i like to write weird stuff but in real life i'm just a puppy dog or a kitty cat maybe more likely you and uh neil flynn should play brothers in something you should come on his new show and be his brother. He's got a new show? Yeah, it's called The Middle. It's him and Patricia Heaton play parents to three weird kids. Cool.

I didn't know about that. They're kind of weird themselves. It's kind of like Malcolm in the Middle. They just took out the word Malcolm. So we got ourselves a fucking show. The Middle. Boom. Yeah. That's like your new show coming out called Gary.

It's like Gary Unmarried, but they took out the unmarried. No, you know what I'm going to do with Gary Unmarried. I'm going to make Glen Gary Glen Unmarried. And the slogan's going to be, always be divorcing. Get your divorce on. We ran into each other and joked around about that in Grand Rapids, Michigan. What's your nickname for Grand Rapids, by the way?

Can you say it on a podcast that they'll hear in Grand Rapids? I feel bad because I don't want people to think that I'm making fun of the city. It's a great city. You're immature, and the name Grand Rapids sounds like... Gay rape aids. you're immature, and the name Grand Rapids sounds like... Gay rape aids.

I was shooting a movie there for two months and that was the nickname that I came up for. And I was drunk at a bar and some guy came up and he was like, hey man, do you like our town? I'm like, yeah, I do. And he was like, cool man. And then I go, I have a nickname for it.

And he goes, no way, what is it, dude? And I go, gay rape aids. And then he just was like, you fucking call it that? And then I just realized how psycho I looked. And I was just like, yeah, that's what I call it. I'm crazy. It was hard to skate out of that one. Well, now you have to skate into this game we're going to play. That was an awesome segue. Thank you. That was super awesome.

And you're a professional at the segues. I evaluate segues. Yeah. Well, I should have said speaking of skating Blades of Glory is one of my favorite movies that you're in oh yeah

I love that movie the movie's really fucking funny it is so goddamn funny and like Will Ferrell's amazing in that though he's great in that it was probably like the next to last time

people wanted to see him as some sort of athlete. Right. But still, I really think that movie doesn't get its due. That's one of those movies, if it's on, I can just watch it and be 100% on board.

All the characters are funny. Yeah, it's well directed, too. Arnett and Amy are really fucking funny. Yeah, I love it. Okay, so we're on the record as saying that's a great movie and anyone who disagrees can suck it.

Yeah, fuck you, man. Yeah, fuck you. Why don't you go back to gay rape aids? Where you came from. Where you came from.

How did you know that was the situation of my birth? That's why that guy blew up at you. He was just like, you know my whole back story. But let's play the Leonard Maltin game. We'll start on the other end of the table because Dave Holmes, I think he'll know how to play. And then we'll move to Rob and then to you.

And hopefully you can catch up and it'll be a lot of fun. And anybody can win. You don't have to be good at it to win. That's part of the fun, too. Dave, would you like to pick somebody from the audience to play for? I would. A name tag that you enjoy? See, Sean pointed at his own name tag, indicating that he wants me.

He's also got a cool shirt that's unsanctioned that has my logo on it. I like that. It's really logo on it. I like that. It's really nice, though. I like it. I've had my eye on Melody's sign for some time now, and so I'm going to go with Melody. All right. Melody, you ready?

Yeah, because she drew a sun that has a beard and smoke coming out of it. Yeah, yeah. So I'm guessing that's me. Jesus, if I were the sun, I would smoke constantly. Rob, who would you like to play for? I'm going to play for Kyle, if I may.

His sign is on his face. Oh, yeah, that's a great one. He probably didn't even know what name he was leaving the house with today. It's like liar's poker. Who am I? And Nick Who would you like to play for?

I want to play for I just recognized Casey Recognized? From last night I'll play for Casey because he helped me out He did? Last night at Largo he gave Nick a hug I was kind of melting down

I was really hungover And I just said I needed to be held, and then he offered to hold me. So he came up and held me. He did come up on stage and hold him for a while. That was in the interruption part. That won't be on the podcast that people can listen to. But let's play the game.

We have the contestants. You guys remember who you're playing for, right? Because I've forgotten already. Casey and Melody and Kyle. Alright, and we'll start with you, Dave. You can pick a category. Alright. Three choices as

per usual. I have the Len Maltin app that I use. Len Maltin? Yeah, Leonard Maltin. Yeah, I know Leonard. Yeah, I use. Len Malton? Yeah, Leonard Malton, the film critic. Yeah, I know Leonard. Yeah, I call him Len. He prefers Leonard. He told me that to my face.

But when he's not here, I call him Len. And you met him at the Beardies? We both were there to present Beardies. And he won Lifetime Achievement beardies oh I've never seen him without one but let's go with one of the categories is lens bombs that's movies that Leonard Maltin gave the bomb rating to all of mine no don't talk like that and then I was just in Washington, D.C. last weekend, so movies that take place in Washington, D.C.

And then finally, Trips, which is the third movie in a franchise of three movies or more. Okay. I will go Trips. All right. Trips. All right. Trips it is. Would you like a

threequel from 1983, 1987, or 1990? I'll say 1990. Okay. This movie was given three and a half stars by Leonard. Some would call that generous. He calls it a delightful conclusion to a trilogy.

Okay. Okay. And he also says there's real movie magic at work here. And there are... The clues are designed to make it harder. And there are... Can you are designed to make it harder. And there are... Can you consider yourself a legit reviewer if you use the term movie magic?

He likes to say things like that. You know, he loves Mickey Mouse. All right, 13 names. Okay. You can start the bidding at 13 or lower, however many names you think you need. All right. You're reading from the bottom of the cast list up.

What the fuck is happening? Yeah. What is he doing? He's going to bid. It's like name that tune with names and movie titles instead of notes and songs. Okay. Let's say nine.

Nine names. Then we go to Mr. Rob Delaney. Do you think you can get it in less, or do you say to Dave Holmes, name that movie? I believe that I could get it in less. How many less? I'll be modest. I'll go with seven. Seven. I like that.

See now, Nick, you can either say name that movie and he has to name it with seven obscure names from the cast or you can bid lower to try to drive the bidding down a little bit and say you can name it in less names. I can name the movie with... After I say the names.

Okay. So do you want him to try to name it, or do you think you can bid lower and get it in less names? I can fucking bid lower. All right. I'm going to say five. Five, alright.

Then we go back to Dave Holmes. Name that movie, Nick Swartzen. Now you've got to name the movie. I'll list the five names. I will name the five names. I'll give you the clues again. Three and a half stars from Leonard. It came out in 1990.

He calls it the delightful conclusion to a trilogy. And he used that phrase, you know, like movie magic. Real movie magic at work. And I will give you the five names. And I think you should be able to pull this off.

It's the third part, remember. It's a three-parter. The first name is ZZ Top. The next name is... Some people know it already. The next name is James Tolkien, then Dub Taylor, Harry Carey Jr., Pat Buttram,

and Richard Dysart. Those are your five names. But ZZ Top, that's a good one. Fuck. It's a good one. Fuck. It's a third? So just name something that was the third part. Lord of the Rings.

I'm just kidding. There was a lot of ZZ Top beards in Lord of the Rings. But there wasn't them actually saying stuff. Fucking ZZ Dolph. That's wrong. You don't get another guess.

Unless that was just a joke guess. That was a joke. I made joke from mouth. Fuck. I'm going to say... And it's the last one. There's not a fourth? I don't know.

He called it a trilogy. 1990. But they might have changed their minds and made more. ZZ Top and movie magic? Fuck, yeah. Can you believe it? Suspenseful. I'm going to say that it is

uh look who's talking again or whatever those were that was a good guess but

what is it you guys back to the future back to the future part three oh my god yeah then but if you see if somebody had heard

more names it goes Matt Clark Elizabeth Shue, Leah Thompson, Thomas F. Wilson, Butthead, Mary Steenburgen, Christopher Lloyd, Michael J. Fox. I don't fucking remember the third one that well. That's the one in the West.

That's why I said Leonard's being a bit generous, because a lot of people don't think it's so great. Including me. I like it, though. Now I want to see that. Wait, who the fuck was ZZ Top? I think it was as themselves. Or no, or they were just standing around somewhere, probably, like prospecting or something.

But I'm sure there was one of those video tie-ins where they had the song and the end titles or something. Right. Yeah, yeah. They were a band. They were a band but like a jug band or some shit right like a country okay yeah okay so it was based on their true story that's how they got famous as they met uh they met doc brown and he had a time machine and they were like uh okay so the point goes to Dave on that one. But you did a great job. We'll start with Rob on this next one. Would you like...

This one was... Some people from Twitter suggest topics, and this topic was suggested by RuPaul F. Tompkins. Is that a real person? RuPaul F. Tompkins on Twitter. That's amazing. Suggested movies in which cross-dressing occurs. So we've got cross-dressing.

Then we've got a category that I just made up called Nick Swartzen movies. Oh. Yeah, just to give you a shot. I'll take it. And then let's also throw back in Washington, D.C. So which one of those would you like, Rob? Washington, D.C., cross-dressing, or Nick Schwartzen movies? I'd like to go with cross-dressing, please.

Okay. Said like somebody. Okay. Not worth finishing that thought. 1995, 1996, or 2002? I'll go with

95. Was that an option? Okay. I forget right away what years I just said. One and a half stars from Leonard. Did not care for this. I don't even know if I've sat through the whole thing. I've seen parts of it.

He calls it incredibly tiresome. And Robin Williams appears on Build. In the movie. One and a half stars, 1995, cross-dressing robin williams incredibly tiresome and there are 13 names start the bidding robbie d let's go with eight eight names what do you think nick yes is that an option oh I have to go lower again or go lower or say name that movie he said 8 names

out of 13 now I get it I think I think I I think I can do it in 7 7 names Dave I think I can do it in seven. Seven names, Dave. All right.

I think I can do it in six. Six names, Rob. I'll do it, Rob. I'll try five. Because if it's such a piece of shit, and I was 18 then, I feel like I really vacuumed that stuff up so I'm gonna try for five. He says he can get in five names Nick. Name that movie. Alright.

Quite the learning curve on this one. Okay. Five names are Julie Newmar Quentin Crisp Naomi Campbell RuPaul and Beth Grant

And it was from 1995 One and a Half Stars Tiresome Robin Williams shows up. I mean, if Julie Newmar is in it, I feel like she might be in the title, too. Could you say that title

correctly? How about we go with to Wong Fu, thanks for everything, comma, Julie Newmar. That's correct. That comma was just showing off. A little bit. That was a flourish.

You missed the first comma. And, yeah, and, of course, Patrick Swayze, Wesley Snipes, John Leguizamo. I never saw it, really. Neither did I. All right, so you get a point. So now Dave has a point. Rob has a point. How many does Nick have?

Zero points. I have a hat. All right, so we'll let Nick pick this time. Would you like Nick Swartzen movies? I'd like to get you on the board. I'd like to get you a point. Leonard Maltin's Bombs or Washington, D.C.?

Hmm. I feel like I would be cheating if I did my own. But I also... I also feel like it'd be hilarious if you don't get it right. I will take Nick Swartz alright what a champ

okay your choices are 2006 2007 or 2008 which one of those years which one of those years is clearer to you than what you might have accomplished? You didn't want to go with any of my work from the 70s?

Six, seven. No, six, seven, or eight. Okay. I'll do 2006. Oh, wow. Somebody's showing off by going way back. Look what I can remember. All right 2006 leonard gives it three stars what really

uh he says uh let's see what does he say he says all these words give it away. He feels the main character's pain. And... And... Michael Lerner appears unbilled. Who's Michael Lerner, you might be thinking? I know Michael Lerner.

Okay, so he's in it. And it's from 2006, three stars, and there are... There are eight names. How many names do you think you can get? The motion picture you were in... that was released in 2006... you were in that was released in 2006.

Leonard says he feels somebody's pain. And Michael Lerner shows up. I will do... I think I can do it in... I'll do three names. Three names. Name that movie. He says name that movie. Dave Holmes says

he says name that movie so let's see. You gotta be able to do this. Dick Balkian is in this movie. I don't know if I'm pronouncing it right.

B-A-K-A-L-Y-A-N. Ethan Supley was in this movie. He's a good dude. He might be on the podcast someday. We follow each other on Twitter. Matt Kieslar is the

third name out of eight names. What do you think it is? I think I know it now. What is it? Avatar. Avatar. I believe it is Art School Confidential. That's correct! Nick Schwartzen's on the board.

You're not one of the eight that he listed on that one. Are you fucking serious? You didn't fucking list my shit? I am serious. I'll pull that fucker's beard out. But you got listed pretty high up for Blades of Glory. Above Scott Hamilton.

Oh. Yeah. And then the other one, the 2008. What do you think the 2008 was? I don't know. It was... You're listed between Dietrich Bader and Chloe Moretz. Chloe Moretz, of course, was Hit Girl in my favorite movie ever, Kick-Ass.

Oh, I love Kick-Ass. Yeah. I did a movie with her? What do you think this movie is? Well, you probably weren't recording your voices at the same time. Oh, in bold? But you were a voice in bold. Oh, okay, yeah.

Jesus. I knew that one would have thrown you off if that one got picked. That would have fucked me up, dude. Yeah. All right. So the score's all tied. We've got to wrap this up quickly. So let's see.

Who challenged who? You challenged. So Rob gets to start us off here. And Rob, would you like to go with one of Len's bombs bombs not bomb bombs uh washington dc movies or uh one more time back to the trips uh let's do trips please trips again okay so you got two years to choose from we got uh 83 and 87 i'll go with 87. Here we go. This is going to decide it, you guys. One and a half stars from Len.

And he says... He says, what do you say about a movie dealing with a dead porno star? This is the first line of the review. And then the last line of the review is, as little as possible. There's 1987, one and a half stars,

and there's seven names. Start the bidding. Mr. D. 87. I mean, I know plenty of dead porn star movies, but I can't think of any that came out around that time. Did you say seven?

Seven names. Seven names. I'll do six. Six names, Nick. I didn't see a lot of dead porn star movies when I was 11. I'm going to say name that movie. Oh, nice.

I did not expect this. I'm crazy. Alright, here we go. George Booza, the great George Booza. Ian Taylor. Shannon Tweed. I bet you she played the dead porno star, Isabel Mejas,

something like that, Al Waxman, and Patrick Dempsey. So you're just missing the one name. Oh! Do you really know what it is? I might. That would be hilarious

if you did. It's about a dead porno star. No, it opens. It says open. What do you say about a movie dealing with a dead porno star? As little as possible. Yeah, I mean, Who are you playing for, Nick nick let's start giving out the prizes uh is it is it very bad star 80 things

do you think if you just say words that one of them might be in a title there was dead pornishness type themes in those movies and I sure don't know what this one is. This one is like a total spoiler. I mean, no one was going to get this. But Nick is officially our winner everybody. The last name is Sally Kellerman. What do you think it is? Is it Run?

Run? Remember that movie? Run Part 3? You know what, Ron? Remember that? With Patrick Dempsey? You know it, right? Love you.

Yeah, Sally Kellerman was the ostensible lead in this movie about a dead porn star who teaches a teenage nerd on how to lose his virginity at summer camp and it's called Meatballs Part 3. No way. Yeah, that's what

Meatballs Part 3 is about. Who are you playing for? You're playing for the Hugmaster? Yeah. Alright, there you go. There's approximately $13. I don't know where the euro's at right now.

Dave Holmes contributed this CD. Tell everybody about it, Dave. That's my boyfriend's band. They just got back from the Warped Tour. It's really good. What are they called? The Mighty Regis. Mighty Regis. Yeah. And he also, Dave also contributed a copy of Wild Hogs. Yeah. That has, because we did that on the show

and I got the DVD and I never watched it and it sat in my car for two years. Yeah. And I had the top down and the cover blew off, but it's Wild Hogs. Well, that's... If you're going to walk around with Wild Hogs, you want it to be unlabeled. You want to keep it on the DL. And then here's a sweatshirt thing

that I got from Merge Records that doesn't fit me. And you also get a copy of Nick Schwartzen's CD, Seriously, Who Farted? Where did you get that? I just happened to have one because I knew you wouldn't bring anything and I'm glad you showed up at all to be honest with you it's very exciting to finally have you here

it's been very suspenseful and a copy of my new CD Hypocritical Oaf CD DVD and thank you, Casey. And starting with Dave Holmes, just quickly, anything you guys want to plug,

take turns plugging things while I go over here for a second. Okay, where are you going? I got to talk to these guys for a second, but go ahead, Dave. He's going away. Rob and I are doing a show here

on Sunday night called Mapping the Heavens. Pete Holmes, Thomas Middleditch, Scott Thompson, musical guest Casey Anderson, and the Friday 40 at iOS. Go to thefriday40.com and get the dates.

Awesome. Yeah, let's check all that out. And Rob Delaney? Yeah. Yeah, my show with Dave here. I do another show here, a solo show called Naked and Bloody. You can follow me on Twitter, Rob Delaney, and I'll tell you about all the other fun stuff I do there. Thanks. Yay!

And Nick, you've got 30 Minutes or Less is going to come out eventually, directed by Ruben Fleischer of Zombieland fame. I'm doing Gary Unmarried on Ice right now. Gary Unmarried on Ice. That's awesome. When does Pretend Time premiere on Comedy Central? I have a show coming on on Comedy Central called Pretend Time.

It comes out October 12th. It's a sketch show which is a very original concept. It's me and the guy who ran Human Giant is running the show. It's pretty funny. I love that guy. Tommy G, right?

Tom Giannis. All right, my plugs are I'm going to be at Cab City Comedy Club September 24 and 25 of 2010. I'm going to be at Wise Guys in Salt Lake City on September 26, 420 matinee.

It's true, 420. I'll also be at Zany's in Chicago on October 3rd of 420. And then we're also doing an episode, a road episode of the podcast

at Zany's at 8pm on October 4th Google it! Thank you to my guests Thank you audience, thank you Comedy Death Ray for us going long and as always Kim Sandoval is a shithead and Gary

Oldman is a shithead.