Doug Loves Movies - Nick Swardson, Kyle Kinane and Morgan Murphy guest
Episode Date: July 17, 2016Live from the Pemberton Music Festival in Pemberton, BC, Doug welcomes comics Nick Swardson, Kyle Kinane and Morgan Murphy to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and Ca...lifornia Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds
With 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth
There's still not one that he won't see
Cause Doug loves movies
Hey, hey, hey everybody
My name is Doug and I love movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
That was pretty good.
Some of you tried to do it.
How many people here have never heard the Doug Loves Movies podcast before?
Oh, polite show of hands.
That's great for a podcast.
Lots of you. So thank you for a podcast. Lots of you.
So thank you for coming today and taking a chance on this.
It's a movie conversation game show sort of thingy.
And, well, you'll see.
I guess I shouldn't waste time explaining it to you. We're coming to you for the second time
from the Pemberton Music Festival
in Pemberton, B.C., Canada!
We're on a bigger stage this year.
It's Saturday, July 16, 2016.
Who's coming back tomorrow
for Getting Doug With High right here
at the black
comb stage formerly black pick pick wait
that means it's 19 minutes after the hour if any of you guys want to smoke at
420 East Coast time I didn't encourage you to light up
because I'm a clean living individual.
But if you guys want to, it's that time.
Did some people bring name tags?
Oh, look at that.
I think we doubled the number of name tags from last year.
There's about six of them. Hold them up.
There's Batman instead of Batman. I get it. There's Bat-Mat instead of Batman, I get it.
What's the Conan the Barbarian one?
Okay.
And that guy, there are really some good ones.
And of course, a blow up dick and balls.
So I wouldn't be surprised if that gets chosen.
Well good luck to everybody who brought name tags.
There's a guy with a dolphin out there.
Everybody who brought
name tags are eligible
to win what's in this prize bag.
A Warner Brothers Looney Tunes
tie, necktie with
Sylvester on there
and Tweety Bird.
And, oh,
some sticker and some other items from BC
Smoke Shop yeah they have all that shit and catering here for the artists it's
pretty awesome a pipe from peacemaker that I smuggled into the country a Doug
Loves Movies t-shirt what the fuck fuck else is in here? Some raw papers and a lighter, also from BC Smoke Shop.
And a Blink-182 album.
And some other weird CD sampler thing.
And a copy of one of my albums called Smug Life.
All of that, plus the gifts brought by my guests today,
three very funny comedians that are here at the festival.
Please give a big warm welcome to Megan Murphy,
Kyle Kinane, and Nick Schwartzen.
Here they come, it's a big stage.
Morgan Murphy.
I said Megan Murphy?
You said Megan, you high fuck.
I did not, Dick Swartzen.
Eat my shit.
No, seriously.
There they are.
Let's meet them individually.
Morgan Murphy is here, everybody.
Formerly Megan Murphy.
I've known you for like 15 years. I'm glad we worked that out.
Well, you know, I wrote it down sloppy,
and then I got high backstage.
And the rest is history.
Morgan has been in some movies.
She starred in a film called It's Kind Funny It's Kind of a Funny Story.
Uh-huh.
You're very good in that.
Zach Gaffigan
Alice. Yeah, don't mention him
to me today. He's in Canada, but he
couldn't find the time to come do this show.
I'm very mad at him.
I've seen him 47 times at this festival
though. He's around
here somewhere.
It pisses me off.
Hello.
Also joining us on the dais, it's Kyle Kinane, everybody.
Kyle Kinane is here.
Hi.
All right.
Performing this weekend like tonight, right?
Yeah, in a couple hours, a few hours.
Yeah, right here on this very stage.
I say you front rowers,
don't even worry about Billy Idol and that other stuff.
Just stay glued to your front row spot.
For Morgan Murphy and Kyle Kinane are both performing later tonight.
And Nick Swartzen is here, you guys.
Yes!
Hello, Pembe.
You did your set on this stage last night.
I did my set last night.
And a guy went face first into the mud
wearing a yellow teddy bear outfit.
So, yeah, that's kind of how we roll here at Pemberton.
You get fucked up and just eat some hot shit in the dirt.
Could you give some tips to Kyle and Morgan for their performance tonight?
And also, could somebody let these folks out of that cage over there?
That seems awful inhumane to cage audience members.
Are you guys in audience jail over there. That seems awful inhumane to cage audience members. Are you guys in audience jail
over there? It's like
you're in the...
It's like a hockey game and you're just waiting
to get back in.
He's got snacks.
That's the shittiest VIP section
I've ever seen.
I think
that's what it is. I think they're VIPs.
What's up?
Serial Jesus.
Come on down for the VIP corral.
Big enough for 12.
He's just got a box of crackers.
He's just sitting in there and you walk in and just have some crackers.
Sounds great.
He'll be attacked for those crackers around midnight.
People are going to be so hungry.
He's going to get killed.
That's the snack rodeo stage.
Snack rodeo.
Yeah.
So during Nick's performance last night,
they were running the fog machines like he was a band.
Yeah, it gets a little intense, you guys.
So be ready for rock and roll interference,
like smoke machines and crazy lights.
This is a fog machine?
There's a fog machine. I didn't know that.
Hey, can we get some fog right now or does it need to warm up first?
Can we fog it?
Here it comes, you guys.
My first show in the fog. I love it.
It looks like the coolest fart ever. A lot of firsts here.
Pretty amazing.
But they laid it on super thick for Nick.
He was like swimming in it.
It looked like David Copperfield
was performing.
I felt like I owed the audience an illusion.
But I didn't have any.
Your humor is magical though.
Bless you.
Bless us all, everyone. I just came up with that Bless you Bless us all everyone
I just came up with that
God bless us all everyone
I'm gonna trademark that
Yeah I'm gonna make you limp out of here
Tiny Nick
Look there's a guy in crutches right there Doug
He made it to the show
He made it to the show
Oh there's a little crutchy
guy right there. Now you guys fight.
Crutch fight.
Crutch fight.
Wait, did they come here with crutches or did you
acquire crutches because you
fell down?
They were at my show last night. He showed up crutchy.
That's a commitment.
Yeah, it'd be weird to get crutches while you're
here it doesn't seem like they supply crutches to people but you never know some people are
pretty fucked up medical tent I got I went there this morning for plan B
what oh my god
Oh my god Which medical tech?
I met a Japanese businessman
In Whistler
Too soon
I'm not ready
I'm going to try to injure myself while I'm here
Because you have a better healthcare system
Than they do back home
So I'll get fucked up here
I can finally get that vagina
I've always wanted
Very excited about that Punch me in the dick and break it So I'll get fucked up here. I can finally get that vagina I've always wanted.
Very excited about that.
Punch me in the dick and break it so I get a new vagina.
All three of my guests have brought items to include in the prize bag for a lucky person out on the grass today.
Morgan, what are you contributing?
I'm contributing a lightly worn by me
Portland Trailblazers hat.
City of my birth, signed by everybody on stage.
None of us are basketball players,
but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless.
By Mitchell and Ness, the high-end makers of snapbacks.
Enjoy. Enjoy.
Great.
Look at that, everybody.
Nick, what do you got for us?
Nick wants to give everybody his Amex card.
Look at this.
All right, all right.
Can you buy cocaine with the Amex card?
You can do something with cocaine with the Amex card.
Cut it up.
I found one of my highlights was I found cocaine on one of my actor's guild cards.
And I had to give it for a job one time and there was cheese all over it.
Wet cheese, you know what I mean?
It was pretty sweet.
Anyway.
I'm giving, I was unprepared like every time I've done everything.
So I have my set list from last night with all my jokes,
and I'm going to sign that.
And then if you go to the States,
you have a Dave & Buster's power card
that I think's got like $100 on it, like $75.
So you can fucking zone out and play some games
and do coke.
Hand it over.
There's no David Busters in Canada?
You asked it out of your mind?
No.
Another thing to like about Canada.
Oh, also, I've got a guitar pick from the band Dirty Heads
is also going in there.
I'd love to see them at this festival next year.
Let's go through Nick's set list really quick.
Spoiler alert.
Day after.
Sexting.
All right.
No, I got a Sharpie for you.
You can go through your phone for that one.
To sign it.
What'd you do with the Sharpie?
Did I take it?
Yeah.
Okay, hold on. You find the Sharpie and Did I take it? Yeah. Okay, hold on.
You find the Sharpie
and we'll have Nick sign this.
Kyle, what have you got for the bag?
It's no Dave and Buster's gift card.
Which, if you were doing coke
at Dave and Buster's,
how do you still have $100 left?
I would have played Pole Position
or a more modern reference
to a video game
for several hours that night.
Pole Position? Not hitting out here? All right.
I also went through my wallet for a gift, and I have two free audiobooks.
Or ear movies, as I like to call them.
Okay.
That's it. Yeah, that's what it is.
Two free audio books.
Yeah.
Okay.
Oh, at Audible.
It's not $100 at Dave & Buster's, all right?
I'm sorry about the whole thing.
Jesus Christ.
It's for Audible,
an occasional sponsor of this show.
All right, so all that stuff
is also going into the prize bag, but before we
play the games today, I always like to ask
my guests one question,
and that question, Megan
Murphy, is
what was the last movie you saw?
The last movie I saw...
Something on the plane, maybe?
Was a
documentary on Netflix about a lady who finds her twin.
You seen that?
She gets adopted and then she finds her twin who was also adopted.
And her twin doesn't have legs or something?
No, no, no.
That's the guy that you're talking about, the gymnast.
Yeah.
No, this is a Korean girl
who gets adopted in America
and her sister gets adopted in Europe
and then the Korean girl's on a Vine video
or something that goes viral
or a YouTube video
and they recognize her in Europe
as the girl who's the sister of that girl
and they find each other.
Is this that movie with Danny DeVito
and Arnold Schwarzenegger?
Do you know what it's called, the movie?
It's called like Twin Sisters or Twister.
It's like a... What?
Twinsters.
Twinsters.
I watched that a couple nights ago with my dog.
I was on that app Twinster
for a while, but I decided
it was just a rash move
That I don't have a twin
It's twins fucking twins on there only
Twinder?
Twinder
You find somebody who looks like you
And you fuck them
For a doppelgang bang?
Doppelgang bang.
We just made a lot of money.
Just riffing.
I think I've heard that one before.
I think that's an actual fetish porn
is people that look alike fucking each other.
I get so mad at myself.
That's the last thing I would ever want to do sexually
I know variety is what it's all about
but so many people look exactly like me
it's inevitable
for me it would just be hard fucking Brad Pitt
I know all the men I look like
because people remind me on the internet all the time
Nick what? all the men I look like because people remind me on the internet all the time. Nick? What?
How you doing?
Me?
The VIP section is just growing.
It's getting crazy over there. Someone found
a chair.
That's pretty... She's got some
ingenuity on her side. What was
the last movie you saw, Nick?
Oh, that one we talked about.
What's it called?
Big Farting Guy?
The BFG.
Big Farting Guy.
The BFG.
I saw...
Yeah, BFG.
Oh, no, I'm sorry.
I walked out of BFG.
I made it about 20 minutes.
20 minutes is when you gave up?
I made it 20.
That's pretty good, right?
You didn't see all the big, ugly, mean giants?
No, I didn't see them take a huge shit.
I didn't see them.
You didn't even get to see the farting scene.
No, I don't know.
I got bored or something.
I don't know.
I walk out of movies all the time. I have ADD, so I don't know. I just got bored or something. I don't know. I walk out of movies all the time.
I have like ADD, so I can't
focus. And if I'm hungover, then
I'll make it like a minute, and then I panic.
What was the last one that you got
through the entire movie?
Throw Mama from the Train.
In the theater.
That one was riveting.
Plus it was only 90 minutes.
Yeah, I know. I made it through that one.
Do you want to think about it?
What?
The question.
What was the last movie?
There's no way that it was
Throw Mama from the Train.
Oh, the last movie I saw the whole way
through? Yeah. Oh. Oh, the last movie I saw the whole way through? Yeah.
Oh. Um...
Shit.
I can come back to you. Come back to me.
Alright. Kyle?
I saw The Conjuring
Part 2. Oh, yeah! That's mine, too.
You can't just take my answer like that!
Hey, fuck you! I was first!
No, alright. I'll do another one. You do that one.
No, that's the last movie I saw.
Yeah, he's just answering the question honestly.
But maybe sobriety isn't his problem.
That's true.
Yeah, Nick is how many days, can we say?
Yeah, I haven't drank or had a cigarette or anything for 91 days.
91 days, you guys.
It's pretty crazy. It's not permanent. It's not
permanent. That's my favorite part about it.
It's not permanent. Not
permanent. It could end at any
moment during this
festival. Yeah, that guy wants it to end tonight.
I'm going to try and go till
October. I'm going to try to do six months
till my new pussy's all healed up.
October's a good time to bust it out again.
Yeah, October, holidays.
Yeah, Halloween.
Yeah, I figure if I go six months totally sober,
then chug a bottle of peyote.
I don't even know if that's possible.
Does that qualify as alcohol?
No, I don't know what that would consist of.
But I would definitely climb that mountain behind us.
On a journey, I would find a journey.
That is a big-ass mountain, dude.
All right, so Conjuring 2, Kyle.
Kyle, Conjuring 2, Kyle.
Yeah, it was good, right?
I liked it.
I didn't see it.
It was scary.
The first one's fucking dope.
Yeah.
Liked it.
They conjured up some serious shit.
Quality scary movie.
So you'd recommend it?
Very much so, yeah.
Okay.
I'll check it out.
People say it's very good, so I'll check it out.
I'll give it a whirl.
Now, have you thought of one, Nick?
Yes.
Here we go.
Casablanca.
You went back even further than Throw Mama.
It was Conjuring 2, and then I'm going to...
People are guessing in the audience now.
Yeah, but that was on TV.
Stop it.
That was a long time ago.
I was in that.
I don't watch that.
Kevin Feige.
Everyone's guessing out of the millions of
movies it could be.
People all have an idea.
I don't know. Because Conjuring 2 was the last one
I definitely sat through.
So I'll have to think of another one.
Well, what about the big summer movies?
Any of the big blockbusters?
What were some big movies?
X-Men.
Tarzan. Oh, Jungle Book.
Jungle Book. I sat through
Jungle Book. I like Jungle Book. Yeah,
Jungle Book was good. That was based on your life,
right, Doug? Mm-hmm.
That was a biopic? I was raised
by all the animals. Those were
big weed trees that you were swinging on? Of course
there were. And those
weren't monkeys. they were police officers
that were trying to fucking arrest you for drug abuse.
I don't know what's happening.
All I know is that it's time for me
to say, let the games
begin!
Woo!
Some people brought name tags.
They deserve to be seen.
Somebody brought a penis.
Oh, look at that dick.
I want that dick.
All right.
I thought there was a good chance that would get picked by somebody.
I didn't know which one of you.
I wasn't talking about the guy holding the plate.
Which one of you would do it.
But just go physically grab the name tag, the person you want to play for.
Don't fall into the pit.
How do we reach over this?
Be careful, you guys.
You can do it.
Just walk out onto the speaker like a rock star. Are those cheese curds?
And while you guys do that,
we're going to go to a brief commercial message. We'll be right
back. Hey, everybody.
Today's episode is brought to you in part by
Loot Crate. Loot Crate is a monthly
subscription box service for
epic geek and gamer items and
pop culture gear. For less than $20
a month, you get four to eight items that include licensed gear, apparel, collectibles,
unique one of a kind items and more.
Make sure to head to LootCrate.com slash Doug and enter the code Doug to save $3 on any
new subscription.
I've told you about it before, LootCrate is more than just a subscription service.
It's an entire community of fans that share their experience and interact with each other
around the unboxing of each month's crate.
And they guarantee $40 in value in every crate.
Sometimes it's a lot more.
Every month there's a different theme and all items are curated around that theme.
Previous crates have included franchises like Star Wars, Marvel, The Walking Dead, The Legend
of Zelda, and many more.
Join us as we celebrate the futuristic.
We've packed July's crate with items from some of pop culture's favorite prognostications
of science and the future.
Look towards tomorrow with items from Rick and Morty, Futurama, Star Trek, I'm just
going to say it once this time, Mega Man, Valiant Comics,
and we're going to include a model, a figure, and don't forget the monthly TN pin.
Remember, you only have until the 19th at 9 p.m. Pacific to subscribe and receive that month's crate.
And once the cutoff happens, that's it. It's over.
Go to LootCrate.com slash Doug.
Make sure you enter the code Doug to save three bucks on your new subscription today.
Back to the show.
Okay, we're back.
Let's see who you guys are playing for.
Morgan, what does that dick say on it?
It says GregoryPecker.com.
Is that your website?
Yeah, I don't know what's going on with that.
Gregory Pecker is who I'm playing for.
Okay.
Good luck.
And you sure you have to be present to win.
Nick?
I'm playing for the horse with Spencer.
Because his name is Spencer.
Yes.
And he wrote it on a piece of cardboard?
Correct.
That you're balancing on your dick right now.
It's on my wiener.
There you go.
That's how you pronounce it up here, right?
Wiener.
All right, excellent choice.
You clearly put a lot of work into that.
Yeah, I like it.
Yeah.
There he is.
Kyle?
Kyle's enjoying a beverage.
Are you drinking that?
That's dicey.
That could end horribly.
You want to lecture me about what I'm drinking?
I'm fucking sober, bitch.
I know, yeah.
Fucking eat you out right here.
That's such a weird threat.
I'm playing for the Doolin Over.
Doolin?
Doolin? Doolin. And the movie Do-Over. Yeah, I can't get the pun,in' Over. Doolin'? Doolin'?
Doolin'.
Yeah, I get the pun, but your name is Doolin'?
He thought Nick would pick that because Nick is in the Doolin'.
Thank you.
But Nick wishes he was in the horse whisk, Spencer.
Okay, great.
So it's just lemonade?
Yeah, it's real good.
It's a delicious lemonade.
I've never seen that work before.
Why are your eyes bleeding?
He just goes down.
It doesn't have weed in it or nothing?
And who's the guy who brought the donuts?
What's your name?
Charlie.
Thanks for bringing those, Charlie.
Do you write your name on there at all?
No?
Your shithead is Christine. Does she break up with you?
The car? You're mad at the car? That movie Christine?
Alright, well I don't have time to interview you right now.
Who wants a donut from Charlie?
I will throw them hard and fast!
You guys want to get involved?
Yeah, throw some donuts at people.
No, I'm sober.
He's sober. Kyle, I don't mean to alarm you,
but that's not a lemon in there. That's a baby's head.
I love this.
Try to make it into
someone's mouth. Come on, monkeys.
Yeah, open your mouths.
Open your mouths.
Open your fucking mouths.
Come on, Doug.
Get them open, damn it. You got to give some arc to it.
Look how smooth that guy caught that one.
Ooh, I want to throw it through that hoop.
Have some arc, Doug.
Stop being so violent.
Doug, get that cowboy hat in the back.
Look at the cowboy hat.
Doug, cowboy hat.
Cowboy hat on the lawn.
Cowboy hat on the lawn.
Where is he?
Straight ahead to your left.
Oh, I see it.
In the hat?
Let's go, you guys.
Let's make it happen.
Wait a little further.
A little more of an arc.
Oh, shit.
Arc it.
Arc it.
A little further.
A little further.
Ark it, ark it.
A little further.
Swartzy really wants it.
Oh, he got it!
He got it!
He got it!
Yeah, dog.
Oh, that was great.
Great job, everybody.
Exciting times!
We're going to play a couple of games right now, right quick.
We still got about 30 minutes.
That was impressive.
I admit that was impressive.
Yeah, that was very nice.
Nick couldn't take it anymore watching me throw a ball.
The joke was I just started hurling him at people standing up close when I was pretending to go for the hat.
Oh, okay. Because they got surprised and got hit in the face.
I see.
It's very violent.
But let's play a game called Whose Tagline
Is It Anyway?
We'll start with you, Morgan.
I'll say the tagline from a motion
picture. It's usually something from the poster or in the ads or something.
And just guess what movie it's from.
If you can't guess it, then it moves down to Nick.
He gets a shot at it.
Oh, shit.
And then Kyle.
These guys have had enough, man.
Hey, there's not acid in this lemonade, right?
Just straight up lemonade and urine.
Don't you worry about it.
Later, bros.
All right, here we go, Morgan.
All right.
What movie has the tagline,
experience it, enjoy it,
just don't fall for it.
Pretty catchy. Experience it.
Enjoy it. Just don't
fall for it.
No, it's not.
You guys don't get to guess.
It's just Morgan.
I have to take a guess, right?
You can pass, but but might as well guess.
True
Romance? No.
Oh. Nick?
Babe, Pig in the City. See, that's
how you do it. Just go for it
because I wouldn't be surprised if that
was similar to the tagline for
Babe, Pig in the City. Experience
it. Enjoy it.
Just don't fall for it. Enjoy it. Just
don't fall for it.
Don't fall for that city, babe.
You know that the farm
is where you belong.
And then on a plate.
Alright, here we go.
Kyle Kinane, do you have a guess?
Conjuring Part 2.
That's a good guess.
Which one? Part 2. Conjuring Part 2 That's a good guess Which one? Part 2
Conjuring Part 2
Experience that ghost
But don't fall in love with it
Experience the ghost
Enjoy the ghost
Just don't fall for the ghost
Don't fall for it
Don't fall in love with a ghost
They seduce at you
Yeah
No that was the tagline
Strangely enough
For a movie that you're in
Nick Schwartzen
What?
Yeah Oh I know You make a brief appearance Tagline, strangely enough, for a movie that you're in, Nick Swartzen. What? Yeah.
Oh, I know.
You make a brief appearance in Almost Famous.
Oh, I didn't know that.
What?
Really?
Almost Famous, yeah.
Experience it, enjoy it, just don't fall for it.
Sounds like something Philip Seymour Hoffman's character would say.
What is?
Oh, all right.
And in the credits for the movie, according to IMDb,
you were credited as insane
Bowie fan. That's correct.
Like, insane? Isn't that...
I mean, he had a lot of
people that were really into him.
Yeah, I was clinically insane for him.
I'd lost my mind.
I made the trailer, though. I was really happy.
And then people were like, oh, shit.
You're in the trailer? I'm like, yep
If the trailer were the movie
Then that's just what you saw
Because that's all I made was the trailer
But there was a good month where I was like the man
Where it was really exciting and I looked like I was
I didn't bring this up to rub it in
I totally forgot that that's just in the trailer
Yeah
I thought it was still in the movie
It is in the movie too, but it's so fast
But the trailer makes it look like, oh there's going to be more And then that's exactly was still in the movie. It is in the movie, too, but it's so fast. But the trailer makes it look like, oh, there's going to be more,
and then that's exactly the same in the movie.
Could you do the lion for us?
No, I had a young throat back then.
Because I scream, I'm like, there's Bowie!
So yeah, it was like that.
Clearly insane.
Some people got up to go check it out.
I was more insane back then.
Some people are going to see if Bowie's really here.
Google the trailer.
They got a what do you call it of Bowie.
All right, hologram.
Here we go.
Next one.
We'll start with you again, Morgan.
What movie had the tagline, everyone has a secret?
Everyone has a secret.
Mrs. Doubtfire.
Sir, it's not Finding Dory.
And shut your mouth.
What'd you say?
Mrs. Doubtfire.
No, but she does have a secret.
Nick Swartzen.
Steel Magnolias.
That'd be weird if all those characters had a secret
that was just never revealed.
I never saw it.
Because they're all pretty much on the surface.
I just thought it was a bunch of bitches with a secret.
Well, then why didn't you guess Sisterhood of the
Traveling Pants?
Because I lived it.
Kyle?
James Bond.
Ooh. The movie?
James Bond? All of them.
They're all
about secrets. You just said James Bond.
They just use the same tagline for all 27. They're all about secrets. just said James Bond They just use the same tagline
For all 27
They're all about secrets
It's a tagline for every fucking movie
Doesn't everybody have a secret in every movie?
Well this is specifically a movie that features Morgan Murphy
And it is entitled
Sleeping Dogs Lie
It's the story of a woman
Who gives a dog a blowjob
And she probably shouldn't have told her boyfriend
That that happened
Thank god I haven't been in any movies
Here we go Morgan
Yes
Discover a world beyond your imagination
The audience keeps guessing
That's how fucked up people are
Oh, sorry
They don't know, they're not supposed to guess
Selma
Selma?
Yeah
Selma Hayek?
Yeah, the Selma Hayek biopic that came out a couple years ago
Frida?
Okay
Nick What? Your turn The Room Hayek biopic that came out a couple years ago. Frida? Okay. Nick?
What? Your turn.
The Room.
I think you mean just Room.
Room.
And no. Both.
There's a lady who says Charlie and Chocolate Factory over and over again.
I'm so happy it's not the answer.
I was going to guess that.
Shit.
Okay, well, what do you got?
You got another lease on life.
Oh, we got two chairs in the VIP section.
I'll keep you guys posted.
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
Oh, that's good.
Go with the other one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Nope.
That's from a movie that you participated in, Kyle.
A cartoon animated film.
Oh, yeah.
Called Epic.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, what'd you play in that?
I was like a grunting bug.
Three.
Could you do your line from that?
The third grunting bug.
Can you talk?
Can you do a line from it?
It was like, oh, look out.
I love it.
Alright, well, nobody recognized their own films, so that's
always fun.
So I'm going to try one more. This is the
tiebreaker to determine who wins this game,
gets to go first in the next game.
I'm going to say
a tagline from a movie.
It should be quite obvious what movie it's from.
So this is a speed game.
Whoever responds the fastest is the winner.
Whichever one of you can
say this back to me the quickest.
Since they all have microphones,
the audience can play along if they want to
yell it out as well.
And I'm going to say, I'm going to determine
who the winner is.
The tagline is,
Titans will clash.
Riding the bus with my sister.
Two girls, one cup.
What'd you say, Kyle?
I didn't even get it out.
What did you try to say?
Bugs life.
Nick, what did you try to say?
Two girls, one cup.
Morgan?
Riding the bus with my sister.
Let me say it again. Titans will clash.
Clash with the Titans? Correct.
Not stupid.
Not stupid.
Oh,
Nick. Sober life.
You did it. Not easy having a crazy brain
That knows every answer
Alright
To determine the winner of the prize bag today
Nick, you get to go first in this game
We're gonna play a round of Last Man Stanton
Guy's hand shot up in the crowd
Because I think he wants to suggest a name
Are you that Winkler in time guy?
Where's he at? That's you?
Shit, you're so close, man
Yeah, where's JustJash?
You, dude?
That guy was the one I picked
From my Twitter followers
Who said they had a suggestion
Here's how this is going to work, you guys
He's going to give us a name
of an actor or actress. Right.
And we're going to take turns naming movies
that they were in. If you can't think
of one, you're out.
Or, one
time you can go to your lifeline
and your lifeline
is the person whose name tag you picked.
Okay. So, Morgan would have to
talk to Dick and Balls over there.
We'd have to talk to Spencer.
Spencer seems like he's all over it.
And Kyle, you'll have to speak to the lemonade man.
He's also got some fudge that he'd like to give you.
And he didn't do anything weird to that either.
I feel great.
It looks like you slowed down on that a little bit.
Is it too sugary?
He kept saying there was acid in it, and it scared me.
I already drank some of it.
No, because I put it in there when you weren't looking.
We'll see how this set goes later.
It's a baby's head, not a lemonade.
That's all I said.
Why would that deter you?
That's real lemonade.
Mm, that's good baby's head.
Ew.
I heard it a different way.
As he sucks on a tiny straw.
Come on, you guys. The VIP
section is blushing.
Let's play this game.
Dude, what's your actual name?
Josh? Okay, but your Twitter name
is just Josh, if anybody wants to complain
to him on Twitter.
What do you got? He says John C. Reilly.
You guys familiar with John C. Reilly?
Yep!
Alright. We'll start with you,. Riley? Yep. Alright. I will start
with you, Nick. And then
we'll go to
Kyle
and then me and then
Morgan. That's right. I like to play too.
Please don't yell out
answers anymore from the audience if
you can help it.
If you can't help it, then I'm sorry
for whatever is wrong with you.
Nick
Swartzen, first of all,
have you been in any movies with John C. Reilly?
Because that'll
give you a little edge.
Never? No, I haven't. Not one?
I don't think so, no.
That's crazy. I've definitely never done a scene with him.
I've never even met him. What? No, I don't think I, no. That's crazy. I've definitely never done a scene with him. I've never even met him.
What?
No, I don't think I've ever met him.
Hmm.
Do you want to get a different name?
What?
Nothing?
No.
What do you got?
Boogie Nights.
Yes, of course, Boogie Nights.
Boogie Nights.
Kyle?
Magnolia. Magnolia, that's good. Magnolia
Magnolia that's good
Magnolia
as long as we're
doing that I'm gonna say
Wreck-It Ralph
oh
I'm so bad at this
I'm gonna say
you know the race car one.
You can do it, yes.
What's the name?
Come on, Morgan.
What the fuck?
The guy's been in like 800 movies.
What the fuck are you doing?
I'm an 87-year-old woman.
You've got to get the exact title, by the way.
That's insane if you can't name another John Cena.
Yeah, Megan Murphy, get the exact name right
yeah you gotta get the name right Megan
it's a lot of pressure
there's so many
and then he was in the makeup
with the character
well you can go to your lifeline
how is that your excuse that there's so many
I don't because I don't remember names of movies
I don't know there's so many
um I'm gonna go but there's so many. I don't, because I don't remember names of movies. I don't know, there's so many.
I'm going to go to my guy.
Yeah, go to your guy,
because by the time it comes back around to you, you might think of another one.
I can't remember the names of them.
You might as well save yourself for now.
Where's your dick and balls guy?
There he is, Gregory.
Go to your guy.
Gregory Dix.
What?
Oh, yeah, Gangs of New York.
Gangs of New York, he says.
There you go.
Good job.
You guys are a great team.
I don't watch any movies.
That's the last.
Or read any books or know anything.
That's your last chance there, Morgan, with your lifeline.
All right, I'll get the next one.
So the next time you come around, you got to get one.
All right.
Nick.
Stepbrother.
Yes, of course
I knew that would bring you joy Doug
Yeah I love it
Love a good mic fart
Kyola
I'll take the Talladega Nights one
Oh yeah
Full title Ballad of Ricky Bobby Yeah I'll take the Talladega Knights one. Oh, yeah.
Full title.
Ballad of Ricky Bobby.
Yeah.
How many times have you had to say that as a voiceover,
as the voice of Comedy Central?
You probably bring that one up a lot.
Yeah.
That's awesome.
All right, I'm going to go with possibly my favorite movie that John C. Reilly is in,
amongst many great ones,
Guardians of the Galaxy.
Oh, that's right.
That's what, you know, with the makeup.
Marvel's Guardians of the Galaxy,
if you want to get up my ass.
I know how to describe what I'm trying to think of.
That's not how it works, Morgan.
Who do you think you are, Bert Kreischer?
Well, I know the one I want is the one where, uh,
you know, and he's
a dad, and it's the indie movie.
Okay, okay, yeah. It's Jonah Hill,
and... Oh, yeah, I know that one.
You know what I'm talking about? That's gonna help me later.
Okay, that one.
But you don't
got a name? You know, it's a guy's name.
You can't put a name on it. Devin or something.
Okay, that's your guess, Devin?
I'm so bad, but I got this stupid.
It's okay.
It's all right to be bad.
You can just be bad and own it while Nick rolls his eyes.
No, I didn't.
You just rolled your eyes about not rolling your eyes.
Now you're making that face.
Go, Nick.
Anger management.
Yeah.
You're not in anger management?
No.
What the fuck?
Kyle?
Walk hard.
Oh, yeah.
What's the full title of that one?
Yeah, that's what she said.
With an assist from the audience.
The Dewey Cox story.
Alright, I'm going to say
Cyrus?
Yeah, that's what it's called.
You mean Devin?
Nope.
Cyrus.
Cyrus Hill, they performed here.
Nick?
This is one of my favorite movies.
A lot of people don't know it. Hard Eight.
Hard Eight, yeah.
It's one of Paul Thomas Anderson's first movies.
No big. Also known
in some areas as Sydney.
I will take it.
Kyle, you have not used your
lifeline yet.
What happens if I guess wrong?
Just reminding you.
Guessing wrong, you're out. So you want to use the lifeline
rather than guess wrong.
He's going to the lifeline.
Chicago.
Chicago.
Yes.
Saving my ass Lemonade
I appreciate it
Good old Chicago
I'm gonna go with
a movie where
he plays kind of a douchey
villain character
called Never Been
Kissed
Oh
Nick kissed. Oh. Ooh.
Nick?
Shit, dude.
You still got a lifeline.
I know.
He was in... I might have to use my lifeline. It's so embarrassing.
Oh, that's cool.
I thought I knew more.
Don't worry about it.
Tim and Eric's Million Dollar Movie.
Okay.
Tim and Eric's Movie.
That's a good pull.
Dr.
Was it Brule?
Takedos.
Takedos.
It's a fun word.
Takedos.
Kyle, did you
find
that music? I thought we were being played off.
Wrap it up.
Did you think of one, Kyle?
Zoolander 2,
probably.
Ooh.
We got a definitive no from the crowd.
I just saw Zoolander 2 on a plane recently,
and everybody's in it.
Good bet, right?
But I don't...
If someone in the audience says no,
that's harshly...
That's all it takes is one stranger to disagree?
She's very convinced.
She's probably the president
of the North American Zoolander 2 fan club.
No, she looked it up on her fucking phone.
What if he was uncredited, ma'am?
She's saying it's official.
She's in charge now.
Finally, someone from behind the barricade.
You got another guy looking it up?
Nothing.
It's hard to get internet here in the Pemberton Bowl.
It's like the cannonball run of our time.
Yeah, this is quite a controversy.
I'm going to go with...
So, yeah, Kyle, you're out.
I'm going to go with...
No, shush, shush.
I'm going to go with the lobster.
The lobster, yeah.
He's totally in it.
He's the guy in the infamous toaster scene.
I won't say any more.
Back to you, Nick.
Shit.
That's not my guess.
Ba-ba-ba.
There's one.
I'm trying to think of an old one
Where he
Steel Magnolias
Donut the movie
I don't know I think I'm tapped out
I just couldn't believe
I just couldn't believe that.
I just couldn't believe that there were still more donuts.
I thought you guys threw all of them.
Yeah, I'm going to throw these for sure.
They yelled something outside.
So get hungry, you guys.
Yeah, somebody yelled something.
But I won't use it.
But I got good news for you, Nick.
It doesn't matter what they yelled,
because you lasted the longest,
so you are our winner today.
All right.
You did it.
Thank you so much. Thanks a lot, you are our winner today. You did it.
Thanks a lot, you guys. Right there.
Spencer.
But now here's the part where we get schooled hard.
Which ones did we miss, you guys?
Anchorman.
No, we said anger management.
What's the one where we played a brother that were like convicts? We said Dewey Cox.
We need to talk about Kevin.
Yeah, we need to talk about Kevin.
That was great.
I saw that.
I'm very Jewish, Doug.
It's not my fault.
My voice just does that.
Wait, the lady in the VIP tent has one.
The good girl.
That's correct.
With Jan Aniston.
That's right.
Good job, VIP section.
What?
The Perfect Storm?
Oh, yeah.
Who said that?
That's when he's been in like a million movies.
Oh, he ate it.
The Promotion?
The Aviator?
Cedar Rapids!
I love this.
Perform and reward.
What else?
Oh, the Vampire's Assistant?
Is that what it was called?
Yeah, that's...
No.
We said the promotion.
We said Wreck-It Ralph.
You guys are all high.
What was the one with Ed Helms?
That was the promotion?
Cedar Rapids.
Cedar Rapids.
Yeah, Cedar Falls.
The Pick of Destiny?
He's definitely in that?
Yeah, he's in the Pick of Destiny.
Tenacious D.N., though.
I love the people trying to dodge the donut.
There's some healthy people out there.
All right, so congratulations to...
The Horse Whisperer.
Spencer!
Yeah, you win this stuff, dude.
You signed everything. It's all good?
Yeah.
We're good to go?
He wrote Todd Glass as a shithead on these.
Oh, okay.
Well, he doesn't get his shithead read because he won.
Don't you know how it works?
Sign my dick.
Sign my dick.
Okay, we'll all sign the dick.
All right, lady.
Yeah.
Here you go.
Now, these are very valuable, so be careful, you guys.
Tap.
Very valuable prizes.
And we'll sign the dick, and Kyle, start us off with what do you got to plug?
What's coming up for you, dude?
I'm going to be on this stage.
In a few hours.
Later.
Check your schedules
because I'm not really sure when.
It's a little later.
A couple hours.
6.30?
And what else is going on?
That's it?
That's all you want to plug?
That's what's important right now.
What about for the listeners?
Oh, the listeners?
Yeah.
Yeah. Uh, yeah.
All right, Kyle Kinane, everybody.
Yay, Kyle.
Nick, what's going on with you?
You got anything that's coming out soon?
Mibs.
I, um, I'm going,
after here, I've got three shows
Kyle
Call security
I've got three shows in Spokane
I'm working on some new stuff
And I'm jamming out
I've got three shows in Tacoma
And then five shows in Spokane next week
And then I just filmed my show
Typical Rick for Comedy Central
With me and my friend Dirt Nasty and the director of Grandma's Boy.
And that's coming out this fall.
So Typical Rick.
Look for it.
It's fucking sweet.
Woo!
Nick Schwartzen, everybody.
Woo!
Woo!
Thanks.
I'll be here tonight after Kyle during Ice Cube and Billy Idol.
Chain smokers.
She's got some stiff competition, you guys.
So come on out, because I think we all know where the real high energy entertainment's at.
That was crystal meth that just sprayed out of those donuts.
I tried to throw the guy's donut bucket back to him, but didn't make it.
He's enjoying a pouch of something.
Are you from Australia, dude?
He's got the whole look.
Especially the Asian part.
Thank you for signing that.
It's Morgan Murphy, everybody!
Woo!
Sorry I don't know anything until after people
tell me.
Yeah, that's
it's, you know, it's, you're not good at games
if you don't know things until people
tell you, but I think you were.
Once they tell me, I'm
always right. Well, you did a great job
today. One more time for all of my guests,
you guys, Kyle Kinane, Nick
Swartzen, and Morgan Murphy.
The dick thing doesn't have a shithead
on the back. So who's your
shithead?
Okay. Could have
expected that, I guess. I'll deliver
this to you in a moment. And
Kyle, does the back of your name
tag have a shithead on it? Does name tag have a shithead on it?
Does the cup have a shithead
on it?
Probably not.
What's your shithead,
cup guy?
The rain at Pemberton.
No, I got it.
We didn't want the listeners to hear it
until I said it.
But we worked it out, I guess.
It's the rain at Pemberton.
Thank you, Kyle Kinane and Nick
Schwartz and Morgan Murphy and the
Pemberton Fest.
Hashtag PembeFest.
Come see me tomorrow for
getting Doug with High right here at
4 o'clock.
And as always,
the rain
in Pemberton is a shithead
and Donald Trump is a shithead!
Thanks again
to Loot Crate, the monthly
subscription box for geeks, gamers,
and pop culture nerds. Join us as we
celebrate the futuristic!
We've packed July's crate with items from some of
pop culture's favorite prognostications
of science and the future. Look towards
tomorrow with items from Rick and Morty,
Futurama, Star Trek, Mega Man,
Valiant Comics,
and Star Trek, including
a model, a figure, and don't forget our
monthly tee and pin. You only have
until the 19th at 9pm Pacific to
subscribe and receive that month's crate.
And when the cutoff happens, that's it. It's over.
Go to lootcrate.com
slash Doug and enter the code Doug
to save three bucks on your subscription
today.
Now it's time for Doug to
watch another talkie.
Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes
him cocky. There's no
room in his heart for you
cause Doug loves movies!