Doug Loves Movies - Nick Thune, Graham Elwood, and Troy Baxley Guest
Episode Date: March 11, 2013Live from Comedy Works in Denver, CO, Doug welcomes comedians Nick Thune, Graham Elwood, and Troy Baxley to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Not...ice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Doug Holtz, can you wrap this thing in his skivvy seat?
With 50 azipop or purples in his teeth
There's still my part that he won't see
Oh Doug Holtz, who is... No peeking in there.
Hey, everybody!
My name is Doug, and I love movies.
This is Doug Loves Movies,
coming to you from the
state of Denver.
I still get sometimes
when I hashtag something I wrote
on Twitter with state of Denver, I still get
that one person that has to write and go
uh
Denver isn't
a state, man.
Oh, okay, yeah. Denver isn't a state man Oh okay yeah
Sunday March 10th
2 Oceans 13
It's great to be back here
At Comedy Works
Let me see your name tags
Colorado
Oh my goodness
We got an actual Yoda
With a lightsaber We got an actual Yoda with a lightsaber.
We got some sort of burrito thingy.
Very good.
Jeremy Kong is back from yesterday.
Good to see him again.
Oh, there's something with Legos.
All right, you guys.
That was...
You really...
Oh, there's some cupcakes over there.
What flavor were those again?
What? Bacon and maple?
I'll just eat one
Cause I don't pick name tags
So I'll just have one
Holy shit
I've been so good on my diet
I've been on a manly diet
It's impossible to sound manly
talking about your diet.
Unless it's about how much you're loading up.
Power eating.
Okay, so as always,
the weed here is very, very nice.
And, yeah.
Let's do this.
We had a good show here yesterday.
A good stand-up comedy show.
Dune versus Requiem for a Dream
in the
Watch This Not That competition.
And
I went with
Requiem for a Dream
because it's shorter.
Because they're both just misery-inducing movies.
But these guys were like,
you're one of them.
You were like,
I think it was,
which one of you said,
I just like to watch it?
It comforts me.
That was the Dune guy.
What? The Dune guy. What?
The Dune guy said that. Yeah, he was a
weirdo.
The guy who loves Wrecking Bird Dream
is like, he's got it together.
We talked about the talking refrigerator.
It was great.
And Andrea
from yesterday. Are you back today Andrea?
Yay!
She's with Brad
so they're Bradria
and
she had
Mr. and Mrs. Smith
a poster
and we decided
I announced it
on the mini episode
that we taped last night
it'll be out
today or tomorrow
but this is
what I'm saying now
is going to come out tomorrow
and it's official that
if we can figure out a way
to work out the logistics,
Andrea,
you're in the tournament
of championships.
Because you got,
you got the movie right
in negative one names.
And you beat Graham Elwood,
so that made me very happy.
I was quite pleased.
So we got to work that out, Andrea.
What's your Twitter?
We'll get it later.
Tomorrow's 3-11, you guys.
You know what that means.
You can download and finally watch
the greatest movie ever rolled at chill.com.
And yeah, tell me what you think of it on Twitter
using the hashtag G-M-E-R.
Grr!
From the corrections department,
In the Soup starred Steve Buscemi
and Sal Rubinick was in Soup for One from 1982.
Yeah, who gives a shit?
And then...
From 1982.
Yeah, who gives a shit?
And then... And the Tim Roth raping movie
I was trying to think of
was Rob Roy.
So apologies to comedian and non-rapist,
to the best of my knowledge, John Roy.
Now it's time for Not For A Metaphobes.
According to T-Man Tones on Twitter,
South by Southwest movies The Act of Killing, Evil Dead, and Cheap Thrills
are all not for a metaphobes.
So avoid those movies if you don't like vomit.
Or people vomiting.
This has been Not For Metaphobes
South by Southwest Edition.
Yeehaw!
I bet someone is listening
to this whole thing
while, you know,
standing in line
for something
at South by Southwest.
So enjoy your line,
person.
The weather's better
in Denver.
Woo! The weather's better in Denver It's fucking 80 degrees in Austin today
But I'm happy that I'm here
Don't get me wrong
I'm not complaining
But I will be there next weekend in Austin
During the music portion
Doing a Benson Interruption at 6.30
on Saturday at Esther's Follies.
And I'm also doing a sold-out movie
mock of Leprechaun
on St. Patrick's Day with
Master Pancake. Now it's time for Tweet Relief
tweets about Doug Love's
movies. Yeah.
At Ben Heyman,
H-A-Y-M-E-N or M-A-N
tweeted.
Follow him, you guys,
tweeted,
just opened my Leonard Maltin home game,
T.J. Miller, Pete Holmes, Jeff Garlin edition,
and the box was empty.
I should really sell those.
This has been Tweet Relief, tweets about Doug Loves Movies.
One more plug.
See you in two weeks, Atlanta, Georgia.
DougLovesMovies.com.
All right, let's look at the prize bag.
Lots of good stuff in the prize bag.
A second bag, which we will discuss
when that person comes out here.
But in the main bag,
it's quite heavy,
we got a Doug Loves Movies T-shirt,
a book by a renowned author,
who you'll see in a moment,
a framed photograph.
We're going to have to check that out in a second.
We're going to put that down face down,
like how John McClane's picture is
in a lot of Die Hard.
It's crucial, picking up that picture
what
yeah I do a pretty good Hans Gruber
the listeners missed an amazing quadruple take.
Doug Loves Movies T-shirt.
But here's the main thing I wanted to dig out of here.
Oh, a smug life.
But the thing that I'm most excited about to be giving away,
I had to do this in a club where everyone is 21 to get in.
You had to be 21 to get in today, right?
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, oh, sure we did.
So this is from
the 311 cruise.
I would never drink this
in a million years,
so I'm paying it forward,
but it's in a beautiful
311 Caribbean cruise
2013 bag,
and then you open it up,
and inside is a goddamn
very nice bottle of
tequila called
Cabo Wabo.
Yeah. Tequila
Blanco. So
have some of this and then
I'm sure you won't drive 55.
But yeah, so that's
It's all sealed up
So please don't drink it
Until you get home
I don't want to get involved
In any problems
Yeah, I used to be a lawyer
So sometimes
I go over your heads
With all the lingo
But
I don't want
I don't want no problems
I just tweeted today
I saw
Oz the Great and powerful son,
and it was...
The only thing I could think of was that, you know,
Oz has 99 problems and a witch has some.
You know, as people see it, that'll be funnier.
Or maybe it never will be, I don't know.
All right, so that's what's in the prize bag.
Let's bring out my guests. Three funny
fuckers who I enjoy a great deal.
Please give them
a big, warm welcome.
You probably already know he's here, the first name.
Please welcome Graham Elwood, Troy
Baxley, and Nick Thune.
Check, check.
Check.
Check.
Did you do a check yet? Check, check.
Check, check.
It's good to do the sound check in front of the crowd. That's smart. Do a check Check Check Check Check Check Check Check Check Check Check Check Check Check Check Check Check Check Check Check Check Check Check Check Check
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Check Check Check Check Check Check Check Check Check Check Check Check Check Keep it street. I love to bring the local talent to these things
because then that's one less airfare.
He didn't even get my cab.
Troy, I'll get your cab.
Okay, cool.
Troy is...
Oh, shit.
Don't ask for things throughout the whole show.
I'm not getting your bar tab.
But no, I've known Troy for a long time
and he's a hilarious dude
that just happens to love being in Denver. Yeah, I've known Troy for a long time and he's a hilarious dude that just happens to
love being in Denver. Yeah, I like
Denver. D-Town Carlo for my homies
in the back of the room.
D-Town Carlo represent.
Hey bearded guy.
And you brought as your
prize a bag that I'd like
you to describe what's the contents to the audience.
Yeah, it's the brown bag.
It's a stoner care kit.
And it's got eight pounds of weed condensed in it.
I'm just kidding.
It's not in there.
Yeah, it feels a little light.
I might have touched a little.
It's like the 70s again.
Hey, dude, this is light.
That creepy dude in the park.
I'm going to go put it on my own scale at home
and get back to you.
Move the thumb, Benson.
Move the thumb.
What's happening?
Am I giving you a fast five?
Damn it.
What else is in the bag?
It's a bottle of water,
a half, a tin of Altoids,
and a breakfast burrito
because Denver's big-ass breakfast burrito country.
We bring the breakfast burrito to the party.
I don't think that's...
Whatever that means.
So what is a stoner hangover?
Like, is that even possible?
I don't know.
Yeah.
I think you'd enjoy this in the morning.
Yeah.
But you wouldn't necessarily need it for a hangover
because if you just smoke pot and go to bed,
you'll feel fine the next day.
I bet there's 150 people in here
that want that burrito right now.
And they want it even more as it gets colder, as it sits here.
Because it's not going to be given away for about 90 minutes.
Congealing?
Give or take.
But thank you so much, Troy Baxley.
Nick Thune is also here, you guys.
Nick Thune is here.
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
I always love bringing up your album title
Because your name is Nick Thune
And your album is called Thick Noon
And I'm excited that I get through it
Without fucking it up
Thank you for promoting it as well
Oh you're welcome
And you're performing here all weekend
At the Comedy Works
Yeah if you guys want to see
I'm going to be here from last Thursday till tonight
So We're actually giving real good deals for the Thursday all weekend at the Comedy Works. Yeah, if you guys want to see, I'm going to be here from last Thursday till tonight.
We're actually giving real good deals
for the Thursday show.
Just hop in your DeLorean
and come on down.
Honestly, just $10 cash
for me after the show
and I'll get you in Thursday.
Can you get them in
to see the next act that's coming through town starting on, when do they come in here? You start it Thursday. Can you get them in to see the next act
that's coming through town
starting on,
when do they come in here?
You started Thursday.
Yeah.
Who's the next act?
I don't know who it is.
Colin Kane?
Birbiglia?
I will be taking
the refund request
for the Colin Kane show.
Whoa!
I wasn't going to bring this up,
but they have a poster
in the hallway
that says Dennis Miller
thinks this guy
is the next hottest thing.
And I'm like, why is Dennis Miller designating...
I wouldn't listen to him about the next hottest sandwich.
But I do some business with one of his brothers,
so let's be cool everybody
Yeah we're real cool
Well thank you for being here Nick
Thanks for having me
And Graham Elwood is here
So what we're going to do today
Wait Nick what did you bring
What was your gift Nick
Let's go back to Nick on his gift.
That's right.
Let's talk to Graham for a second.
You brought a Comedy Film Nerds book.
Yes, I brought a Comedy Film Nerds Guide to Movies.
Oh, shit.
And I'll be in the lobby selling them after the show.
So come on out and I'll sign it.
And if you buy one, you get into Nick's last Thursday show for free.
Dennis Miller said so.
Man, you just tagged two early jokes right there.
Yeah, that's what I do.
He's bringing it back.
He's going for his double tags.
Is Dennis Miller like the Dennis Miller I'm thinking of,
or just like his neighbor?
That would be great.
What if his neighbor was named Dennis Miller?
Are you trying to win
the who's highest contest
right now, Troy?
Because I'm pretty sure
I understand the question.
But I don't know
why you asked it.
I think we're
three topics later.
But, sure. I think we're three topics later But Sure
Answered the question right
What else was I going to talk to you about Graham
Oh did you go to the movies today
Yes I did
I saw Dead Man Down
And it's a dumb man down
It starts out
alright. The script just gets so
stupid and predictable. Colin Farrell
is like 10% of the
movies he decides to do are
entertaining.
You got total recalled on this one.
It's pretty stupid.
But all these good actors in it. I don't like it.
Did he have an American accent, Colin Farrell, in it?
Yeah, that he was using
to cover it up.
I'm already not going
to see it.
Yeah, well,
he played a Hungarian guy
that covered up
his Hungarian accent
with an American one.
That was because
the day before
they started shooting it,
they were like,
it's a bad accent.
Let's add the whole
Hungarian story in there.
Yeah, they just put that
in there.
And a couple times,
his Irish one came out in one of the scenes,
which is so great.
Which is probably some backstory in that character we don't know about.
And he was in the Hungarian military, so I'm sure he's like,
I was in Belfast for a mission.
All right, sure you were.
Is he still a vampire?
Yeah, he's still a vampire.
He's a Hungarian vampire.
Were there any phone booths?
What I do is I just take If an actor plays a character
I just take that character into all the movies
For my own fun
And just imagine that he's a vampire in everything from now on
Oh everyone in this movie doesn't know he's a vampire
Just like the last seven or eight Colin Farrell movies
No one in Bruges knew he was a vampire
That one was before the other one though
But did they know about Did they know about a sex tape? Was that part of the backstory? he was a vampire. That one was before the other one, though.
But did they know about... It's all caught up already.
Did they know about
his sex tape?
Was that part of the backstory?
Who was his sex tape with?
Just like his girlfriend
or some model?
It was a Playboy model,
I think.
I wish you had stopped at
it was a Playboy.
It was a Playboy.
Real, charming,
handsome Playboy.
Just like that.
He's got nice cars
and he likes to fly private
I wrote down some questions
Nick Thune
Are you in
Burt Wonderstone?
No
Correct
Troy Baxley
Same question Troy Baxley, same question.
You're just going to pick up what's coming out and just ask.
If you ever wondered what
gay high dating game
I was calling mating game,
forget it. Edit that one out.
Why are you saying it's something about being gay?
Why was I saying that?
What was happening?
I saw Oz the Great and Powerful today.
That was Franco.
He gives his all all the time.
Like, I hate to hate on the guy,
but also his all in this movie
is acting crazy.
Because it's kind of
got the tone of like a...
Like, they try to do this weird tone thing
where everyone acts really old-timey
and he plays a guy
that's just like a complete puss hound.
Which brings me to your gift, Nick.
What's that?
Did he do the sex tape with Colin Farrell?
Him and the fucking Oz dude?
I've watched James Franco.
You brought for the bag.
I brought a signed headshot
to me from Johnny Carson.
Yeah, it seems like
an extremely cherished item
to be giving away.
This lady over here,
fancy.
Yeah.
Yeah, she's really
impressed by it.
When I saw it
in my hotel room,
and then saw that Sharpie
right next to it,
it was just like,
why not?
What did he write on there?
Nick,
when I see a young comic
like you,
it makes me wish
I was still alive.
Boy, whoever wins today
is going to get
some awesome shit, man.
Here's Johnny.
See, I thought you were pulling a Franco,
because in Oz, as the great and powerful Oz,
he gives a pretty young lady a music box
and says they belong to his grandmother
and he wants her to have it.
And then he winds it up and starts playing the music
and then he tries to fuck her.
To the music block music.
What?
So he's like...
It's kind of like that, but it sounds better
and looks better.
I'm the great and powerful Yeah, so
But then he gets caught
That that's his thing
Is that he's got a whole case
Full of those music boxes
Oh, man
You want to believe.
I was just like, I'm watching a movie
where Oz is a puss hound who keeps getting caught
and he runs to the next adventure.
It's an interesting movie.
And he does have both arms in that movie?
Mm-hmm.
That's going on the whole Colin Farrell theory.
We don't know if it is a prosthetic, though.
Or I guess it was pre...
This was pre-127 hours, I guess.
When the world of Oz existed?
Yeah.
Is what we're talking about?
Yeah.
So I guess it would be...
What does the arm behind the back mean?
I don't get it.
That was James Franco.
Yeah, without leverage.
Oh, one arm.
I get it now.
Those guys over there were laughing harder
because it really looked like he only had one arm.
On my side, it's like,
why has he got his hand on his back?
Is he trying to stand like Joaquin Phoenix in The Master?
Yeah.
Why?
If you're listening, he's...
Doug is doing Joaquin Phoenix.
I've done it on the podcast
a few times now because people love to hear
that.
That sounded so great, the way you put your arms at your side. I've been on the podcast a few times now because people love to hear that.
That sounded so great,
the way you put your arms at your side.
So this is, wait,
why King Phoenix is now fucking girls in that weird stance with a...
Oh, good to see you got your arm back.
Yeah.
I fixed it.
Ah, speaks my arm.
What?
Makes no sense.
I like, I like Joaquin.
Wow.
Wow, that was a real moment there.
That was really,
shit got genuine.
Were you like offended?
I looked down at my notes for a second
and Nick is confessing shit like a plane is going down.
I like keen walk.
What's happening?
Oh, thanks.
Hey, it's a dining table.
Oh, that's great.
We got a stool for your beverages.
Now, once the coffee's empty, now you don't have to reach for it.
Yeah, thanks a lot.
Great timing, Comedy Works.
Downtown
location.
I do love this
club, though. You guys are awesome.
They're awesome.
It was packed in here yesterday
during the fucking blizzard. You guys were like,
fuck, we got legalized
weed.
We don't give a shit anymore.
What cop's going to want to get out of his car
in this cold weather
and kill his buzz?
The cold air sobers you up.
That's some bullshit.
I haven't seen one cop
I think since I've even been here.
He's not even around.
Well, there's this gentleman right here.
He's undercover as Peter Jackson, but...
Well, he's actually...
Yeah, where do you find the time?
Oh, I'm making six movies.
Fine, I'm going to go down to the podcast.
Let's kick back for a minute.
Think of four more movies in an hour.
At least his movies, he keeps them brief
so that he can make more
and keep the quality up.
It's like episodic TV
watching all of his franchises.
It's real quick.
Bing bang, in and out.
No long scenes.
Doesn't overuse CG.
What?
Have you seen any movies lately, Troy? Yeah. It doesn't overuse CG. What? Did you? Did you?
Have you seen any movies lately, Troy?
Yeah, but not at the theater.
I actually... You watch them at home?
Yeah.
In your cabin?
All the time, yeah.
I was going to say I was in my cabin yesterday
because of the blizzard.
So I knew I'd see you today,
so I didn't bother coming down yesterday.
But did you get this question?
This question's been going for years and years.
Like someone will go, hey, cold enough for you?
And you go like this, no, because your mouth didn't freeze shut yet.
And that's the perfect answer for that little question.
I'm glad I finally have that answer.
I brought it.
Because actually
that's usually not what they say to me. They usually
look at me and go, pussy.
Because I got
my North Face jacket on
walking around all puffy
and
you know, I like to walk down the middle of the street
so I look like this Stay Puft Marshmallow
man is attacking Denver
one insect at a time.
He is.
You know how you wear 16 pairs of long johns?
I do not do that, but sure.
Yes.
I follow you.
Yeah.
At the same time,
it makes you feel like your legs look a little fat.
Bulk. Like you're just walking around insecure the whole time. You makes you feel like your legs look a little fat. Bulk.
Like you're just walking around insecure the whole time.
You're worried about that?
Yeah.
I got some stick tissues.
Did you smoke some really sensitive-making weed before?
Did you get the real empathic?
I watched Corndog Man.
Corndog Men? Corndog watched Corn Dog Man. Corn Dog Men?
Corn Dog Man single.
Man.
That was ridiculous
that I would think.
Yeah.
One is special enough.
Yeah.
Why would there be
many of them?
This isn't Iron Man 3.
Yeah.
This is the origin story,
obviously.
The Corn Dog Man.
The Corn Dog Man.
Actually, The Cornndog Man.
I didn't get the title right.
Oh, wow.
So there really is only one.
It's a tale, Doug, about one gentleman
driving another gentleman insane with prank calls.
And the guy is a super racist dude
that works at Triple K Marine,
and it's Noble Willingham.
So he always answers the phone,
Triple K Marine!
And you hear that 1,500 times
in the course of this movie.
It's hilarious.
And he just drives them nuts
until he's sitting on a park bench
and the whole side of his head
just boils from answering the phone
and stress.
And it's made by Andrew Shea.
He wrote and directed it.
This is like a buddy of yours?
No.
He's my neighbor.
Shout out to neighbor Andrew.
He's a Denver filmmaker?
No, he's not from Denver.
He just shot it here.
No, he didn't shoot it here.
He shot it someplace where there was a triple K Marine.
So I'm guessing South. Guessing was a triple K Marine. So I'm guessing South.
Guessing South for triple K Marine.
Alright, well I apologize for not being able to
follow that.
I didn't either.
That was rude. I got cabin
fever.
I thought Nick was going to be like, hey, I really
like corndogs.
I thought this whole movie was going to be about corndogs.
Honestly. He's a corn dog man,
but no,
there's a deeper
backstory.
That's movie talk.
Like how he wants
to just get into hot dogs?
No, he sells also fruit.
He's got a fruit stand
and he sells corn dogs.
Corn dogs and fruit,
everybody.
Has the follow-up
taco lady been greenlit yet?
So what have you seen, Nick?
We've got to move on
from this portion of the show,
but I do like to hear
from everybody.
I saw Wreck-It Ralph recently.
Always, when it comes up
on the show,
always gets a round of applause.
Very, very beloved film.
And Searching for Sugar Man
I just saw.
Oh, yeah.
That's a great documentary.
Yeah, yeah.
That's a great documentary.
Oh, amazing. Good job watching that Nick
Yeah
Thank you
Way to go
Bravo
But you can't
I didn't know
I actually look back
This is how I saw
The movie Independence Day
With Will Smith
Classic
Classic film
Hadn't seen a preview
Didn't even know
What it was about
Saw the movie
Independence Day,
fucking loved it.
You know,
and saw Searching for Sugar Men,
didn't know it was about a guy
that was possibly still alive.
So I was actually bummed out
in the beginning.
I thought he committed suicide.
It was a,
I almost turned it off.
And then I made it through.
You thought I'm going to go ahead
and ruin that twist for others?
Because I don't want anyone else to see it how I saw it.
It's my pledge to keep others from worrying
that a movie might have a surprise element of some kind.
I don't want anyone to feel the fear that I felt.
Totally relates to Independence Day.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Remember that movie in 1994?
Yeah?
That's a lot like the Colin Farrell one I saw today.
What?
I'm going to stare it out of him.
Yeah, what happened?
What did you just do?
And don't do it again.
I will do that again.
All right, well, now this is part of the time
of the show where I say,
let the games begin!
Let the games begin!
Games.
So we have two established
players of the
Leonard Maltin game
and some of the other
various games
that I play on the show,
and then there's
Troy Baxley,
who we're going to have
to walk you through this,
right?
Yeah, just, yeah.
Okay.
Don't worry.
It's not complicated.
Everybody gets it right away.
Okay.
Okay.
Super easy to play, especially if you don't care.
Perfect.
That's the most important thing.
But care enough to actually play.
Okay.
What side of this do I need?
I need this side. Here we go. I thought you were going to do
magic for a second the way you held that out there.
I'm going to make
an origami movie character
and then you tell me who it is.
Toto.
And I'll do the voice. You ready?
Is she a great big fat person?
Yeah. Yes.
Put the Leonard Baldwin name in the book.
That's the first movie we saw together, Doug.
Really?
Great big fat person.
Remember that?
Mother!
I was going to say, I thought the movie we saw together was Clerks.
No, I think it was...
In San Jose.
Maybe we saw both of them.
Maybe.
Are they both that old?
Yeah. Silence of the Lambs came out right then. All right, so zip it. Make me. Maybe we saw both of them Maybe Are they both that old? Yeah
Silence of the Lambs
Alright so zip it
Make me
People think I'm 27
Oh cool
Oh yeah right
I'm trying to get away with that
I was in Blade Runner
When I was three
So the first game
We're going to play
Is called
Deckard was a replicant.
Scared the shit out of a three-year-old.
That's funny.
How much did this shit make?
And that's a guessing game
where you guys are going to try to determine
how much what I think is a shitty movie.
I could be wrong.
You guys could disagree.
I picked a movie that was shot here in Denver,
according to the internet,
which is often wrong,
so get off my back.
But it was the Rodney Dangerfield
girls' soccer romp Ladybugs.
Oh, Ladybugs.
You guys are all big Ladybugs fans here?
That's awesome.
Do the Ladybugs walk. Do the Ladybugs walk. Ladybugs, Ladybugs. You guys are all big Lady Bugs fans here? That's awesome. Do the Lady Bugs walk.
Lady Bugs.
They like their shit grown local, Graham.
They don't care what it is.
The movie Lady Bugs has never received that kind of response ever.
For any reason.
So congratulations, you guys.
They're just glad it's not playing right now.
They love their...
Holy shit.
Watch, I'll do it again.
I'll get them riled up again.
Blades of Glory.
Oh, shit.
I do love that movie, though.
The Panchenko?
What's that?
Isn't that the movie at the end?
Oh, maybe. Topic, right? It's that? Isn't that the move at the end? Oh, maybe
Topic, right?
It's got a crazy name
No, Topic isn't the move
I mean, they do
Topic is that little joke
That they have running
Yeah, yeah
Cutting edge is Topic
Damn it
Oh, it's not Blades of Glory
Every time D.B. Sweeney
Falls down, she's like
Topic
You just
You just like
You're lucky your TV
Gets through it
Without being
Kicked in Hockey player, yeah Don't get me started You're lucky your TV gets through it without being kicked in.
Hockey player, yeah.
Don't get me started about those movies.
I'll talk for an hour about Ice Castles.
I'm not fucking around.
I don't know.
I like any movie with ice skating in it.
Yeah, me too.
Miracle is awesome.
Miracle's great.
Yeah.
Come on.
Slapshot. Awesome. Goon. Goon is a good movie. Yeah, I haven't seen it. Yeah, me too. Miracle is awesome. Miracle's great. Come on. Slapshot. Awesome.
Goon. Goon is a good movie.
Yeah, I haven't seen it yet.
What's the Will Ferrell one
when they're skating around?
What was that?
Alright, you guys have had plenty
of time to think.
They were skating around.
Troy might be the first person who understands the games
and still doesn't know how to play.
I have no clue what's going on yet.
Still gives the wrong...
Are we started?
Yeah.
No, you've just been thinking on it.
Instead of playing irritating music while you think on it,
like Jeopardy,
I have a fun conversation with you.
We'll start with
Nick over here.
It's like Price is Right. You don't want to go over.
So how much do you think it made in millions?
Really?
Millions? I mean, I guess you could say a penny
if you want to. If you want to have fun with it.
70 trillion pennies.
It's total domestic box office gross,
including the re-releases.
Oh, the Ladybug's director's cut?
It was never re-released, you guys.
Did you not laugh because that's painful for you?
Did I hurt you with that comment?
Does that count the Criterion box office?
Yes.
I got the number.
No, this is just in the motion picture.
Okay.
I'm going to say $120 million.
What?
Wow.
I'm going to go with the money.
Jesus Christ.
Did I say without going over?
I meant to say without going over.
No.
This guy's walking out.
I believe in that movie.
Rodney Dangerfield.
You don't believe in him?
God damn.
He's fucking pissed.
I think you're confusing
The local excitement
For the movie
With
With national excitement
My personal excitement
North American excitement
Keep in mind
This is the total number
Of people who saw it
Are in this comedy club tonight
I
I know I saw it
At least three times
In the theater
Okay
So So we know it made At least 20 24 15 I know I saw it at least three times in the theater. Okay.
So we know it made at least $20,000. $20,450.
Because you just go to matinees, right?
All right.
All right, Troy.
Oh, yeah.
What do you got?
$33.3 million.
Okay, that's a good bid.
Seems low.
We go to grand.
We'll see I don't even have to write anything down yet
Because the bids are so wildly apart
That I can handle it
It's not going to come down
It's not going to be close
Shit, I didn't think about inflation
Alright
Of the soccer balls That was a big part of the budget Oh, I didn't... Shit, I didn't think about inflation. All right.
Of the soccer balls?
That was a big part of the budget.
That went against the grosses.
There was a shitload of soccer balls. Yeah, they really had to inflate.
They had to blow up a lot of balls.
A lot of balls, a lot of bucks.
Go, Graham.
I'm going to do a Price is Right style.
One dollar.
Son of a bitch!
Son of a bitch! Son of a bitch.
There's no way it made under 33 million.
You're an idiot.
Nick's just a fucking homer.
He's just trying to...
He's this far away from going,
how about them Broncos?
Yay.
Wow. More ladybug than Bronco about them Broncos? Yay. Wow.
More ladybug than Bronco.
Okay.
Bronco fever.
Yeah.
This is movie fans.
Okay, so anyway.
Graham wins because... No!
I hate it when he wins.
I hate it. he wins. I hate it.
He stands on
chairs. He urinates
on Peter Jackson.
It's the worst.
I piss on you, Peter Jackson.
Yeah, it just made
the $17.1 million.
That's how much
that shit made. Thick noon.
Almost got it.
Just close.
Alright, you didn't really win anything, Graham.
This next game, what?
Oh, you might want to...
There's probably dog shit
on your seat because he was just
standing on it. We were outside
playing in the dog shit run. My shoes are dog shit run yeah they have a dog shit run if you're into that
i'm sorry that's that's in portland so doesn't that seem like a portlandia skit yeah like that
this is where the people who like dog shit go to walk their dogs. This is the one
where people pick it up.
Here we go.
This game is called ABC Deez Nuts.
And thank you and I feel sad for you.
That was a great response.
I appreciate it.
Out in LA I say that and they just sit there. They appreciate it. Out in L.A., I say that,
and they just sit there.
They don't get it?
Yeah.
Australians?
It makes me cry inside.
No, they're great audiences out in L.A. What am I saying?
Graham!
No, they said in Adelaide.
I'm going to start with you, buddy.
What's up?
Then we're coming to Troy.
Troy, this is a game where
we're going to spell a word,
and as we go through each letter,
you guys have to name a movie that begins with that letter.
Any movie.
So it seems easy,
but under the pressure of having only a few seconds,
you might flub up.
And if you match the name of the movie
that I've written down on this piece of paper in advance,
if we have a psychic connection...
Wait, I don't know if I played this game with this wrinkle.
You automatically win the game.
If you and I match, Graham.
So it's like, what?
Why is everybody winking?
You two fuckers
wink like that at each other all the time?
I'm just sitting in between.
Troy, I was
going to save this until the end, but
Dungos Movies is not really a podcast.
And we just wanted to celebrate you.
And I made the whole thing up
and got all these nice people.
They each got, they all get a haircut.
And at Ladybugs VHS.
Yes.
VHS, perfect.
Anyone that wants that more than a haircut
is a sad person.
I haven't heard those letters forever. VHS, perfect. Anyone that wants that more than a haircut is a sad person. I haven't heard those letters forever.
VHS.
All right, here we go.
Start with you, Graham.
We're going to spell Mile High City
because we're in it.
We're in it to win it.
So the first letter is M, Graham.
Miracle.
Pretty creative.
I hope you use all...
all titles that we've already discussed tonight.
Victor Soze.
Kaiser Soze.
Victor Soze.
Fuck.
That was a pretty solid joke if I said it right.
Yeah.
Kaiser's brother, Victor.
He runs a little subway shop.
It's pretty sweet.
Vic Soze.
Vicky.
Vicky Zeus.
Vicky Zeus.
Make me a footlong, Vicky Zeus.
Come on now.
You didn't match.
I went with Mind's Eye, a psychological thriller that was filmed here in Denver.
It's no
ladybugs, apparently.
Okay, so the letter to you,
Troy, is
I.
Indiana Jones.
As
Alex Trebek might say,
be more specific.
Two.
No, but you're not out because that's a great answer.
I picked In the Line of Fire,
which was filmed partially in Denver.
Nick Thune, your letter is L.
Labyrinth.
That's a good one.
And I won?
What?
No, I didn't say Labyrinth.
That wasn't filmed in Denver.
I went with Larger Than Life,
which was partially filmed in Denver
and had an elephant in it.
Hence the title.
It wasn't Janine Garofalo in the title role.
She's a tiny person, in case you guys didn't know.
I mean, she's no Sassy Cassie.
World's smallest stripper.
I saw the world's smallest stripper the other night.
Sassy Cassie.
Yeah, you've seen her before?
Yeah.
That's why I didn't get out yesterday.
Do you share bunk beds with her?
Yeah, she's bunking in my cabin.
Does she live in your cabin?
Yeah.
Gee, it's bottom.
I have bunk beds.
Yeah, yeah.
You don't make a midget climb to the top.
She's tiny.
That's just being a dick and not a gentleman.
I thought the bottom was going a different way.
Midget's not appropriate.
She's a bottom.
Yeah.
Ladybug.
Your letter is E, Graham.
Everybody's all American and
Dennis Quaid actually plays
on the Broncos late in his career in that movie.
Oh, I wish I'd known that.
I might have picked it. I went with Every Witch Wave It Loose
because it was filmed in Denver.
H, Troy.
Herbie and the Bean.
Herbie and the Bean.
Yeah.
It's an iPhone movie.
Herbie the Love Bug and Freebie and the Bean had a baby.
And it was just a movie about
a broken down car with James Caan yelling at it. Yeah. I got it wrong. It was Freebie and the Bean had a baby. And it was just a movie about a broken down car with James Caan yelling at it.
Yeah.
Oh!
I got it wrong.
It was Freebie and the Bean.
Shit!
Okay, you're not out again, but you are out again.
Yeah.
This shit's easy.
I picked...
I picked How High.
Ah.
God damn.
Nothing to do with Denver.
Well, it does have something to do with Denver.
It ties in
This is the Mile High City
The next letter is I
To Nick
Invisible
What is that?
No
What's invisible?
I want to hear about it
It's what I am
No isn't that
Wait Shit There was In No, isn't that...
Shit.
There was Invincible.
Yeah, Invincible.
The guy's name
was actually Vince.
It's like the corniest title ever.
Invincible.
No, wait. I was thinking of the movie with Mark
Wahlberg. Yeah.
Invincible.
So Vince,
his name is Vince?
And they were
originally going to
call the happening
the Convincible
because he played
a really gullible
character in that.
Liar.
They were going to
call the other guys
the Constable.
So you're out.
Don't worry about it.
Graham, what was the letter?
I?
Yeah, so it's G to me?
No, no, he didn't get one, so you gotta do one.
I.
Oh.
No, that's you.
The Incredibles.
McClane!
That was shot on location in Denver.
Yeah, and it's called The Incredibles,
so you're out.
Oh!
What a fucking fart hat.
Tiki-tac bullshit.
I went with Imagine That,
an Eddie Murphy movie filmed in the Big D. And I went with Imagine That, an Eddie Murphy movie filmed in the Big D.
And I went with, for G,
I went with Going Ape because of DeVito and Danza.
That's not a reason.
Hancock
was the H because
the mayor of
Denver is named Hancock.
Nice.
Continental Divide was filmed partly in Denver.
I guess they went
in the mountains or whatever.
It's up there.
Inception.
The Matrix.
Oh, wow.
That's cool.
Because Keanu Reeves
was born in Denver.
And for Y,
guess what the movie was
for the letter Y.
Guess what I would pick
for the letter Y.
Yogi Bear. Yogi Bear.
Yogi Bear, yeah.
Denver.
We got a match.
Denver, yeah.
Denver.
Yeah, Denver.
Denver town.
That was fun.
How you doing Troy?
Am I out?
Everybody lost that one
Okay
Especially people who listen to it
Oh sweet
Look there's a caveman
That's not a
That's not nice
Caveman?
Just cause the kid's got long hair Jesus
You goddamn savages with your long hair
Fucking old rascal
Just cause the guy was in a few Geico commercials
Now he's trying to make a living
You're still calling him the caveman
My doctor said
He goes
Cause I had a bigger beard, and he goes,
you know who you look like? The guy in those commercials.
And I was like,
which commercial? That doesn't mean anything.
And he said, no, the Geico commercials.
And I was like, the lizard?
Like, what?
And he goes, no, no, no, the guys with the beards.
And I was like, the fucking caveman?
You're an asshole
doctor.
Racist, too.
It's a tough thing that white people deal with.
Let's take it all in, then.
All right, Troy, it's not going to get any harder than this.
Okay.
We're going to play build a title
Sexy
Since no one won on the last round
And Graham won on the previous round
He gets to go first again
This time we'll go to Nick
So that gives Troy just a little bit more time
To comprehend what's happening He sounds like those sewers out there.
Have you walked over those sewers?
Yeah.
It sounds like a dog getting killed in the sewer.
It's some sort of art installation.
Yeah, okay.
I'll have to check that out.
It's just across the street by the Federal Reserve.
You can go to J and skip right by it
For all the people listening
You should check that out when you're in Denver
Yeah it's you know
The direction that Nick pointed from the comedy works
Just into the darkness
I don't even know which way is which
From where we are right now
You bore through this stone roof.
It's downstairs.
I know that.
Just Google Nick's finger, and it'll do.
You know what?
Don't.
I did, and it's...
It's a really curious finger.
Did he really?
Bye, curious finger. CuriousFinger? Did he really?
By CuriousFinger. So the title we're going to start with and then we're going to build on, Graham,
is suggested on Twitter by ibleedblue, and blue is spelled B-L-O-O.
And that person suggested suggested in honor of turning
our clocks forward today for
daylight savings, congratulations to
all the pot smokers here that got here on time.
No, they just got here an hour early.
That's what happened.
Well, that's a good point, Grant.
I'll do a show here again
when we turn the clocks back
and I'll get it right.
You want to write that next time?
God damn it.
In honor of doing that thing
that we did,
this person suggested the movie
Time Bandits.
Time Bandits.
Okay, I will go with Time After Time.
Bandits.
Yes.
Very well done.
Do you see that, Troy?
He added the title of another movie to the movie,
and now we have one bigger title.
Time After Time Bandits.
Now it goes to Beck.
He can add to either.
Time after time bandits.
Don't do anything yet.
It's me.
It's not your turn yet, Troy.
Easy, easy.
This one's fucking hard, man.
You have some time to think about it.
Or you could step out and have a cigarette if you prefer.
But Nick, do you have anything that ends with time
or begins with bandits?
Or part of the word bandits?
Oh, shit.
I guess I had it wrong.
I had a different answer for that.
Okay.
What I want you to do is give me a correct answer.
Yeah, give you a correct answer.
So it's a good thing you caught yourself.
It's a really good thing I caught myself.
Oxtra Beck loves this kind of discussion.
Okay.
Told you. Told ya.
I really don't like it when Graham's gonna win
really easily.
All my wins
are easy, motherfucker.
Time after time, bandits.
Well, I was so confident
in my fucking answer that now I'm frustrated.
Say it anyway and we'll get a big laugh
Time ever after time bandits
See I told you you'd get a laugh
Is it ever after a movie
Sure but I don't know how that fits in there
Alright Troy you want to take a crack at it?
Yeah.
Okay.
Time out for Yancey Bandits.
Yes.
Hey, Graham,
can we get you a less buttery microphone?
I'm sorry.
It's really slippery. We really oiled that one up before we gave it to you.
We thought it'd be funny, but it's just making you seem cocky.
No, that's not what I want.
That's not what I want.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
That's awesome
you buttered the microphones
for your movie podcast.
Can we get three
buttered microphones?
I want it bad right now.
It's actually a serious issue
that Chris Rock deals with.
She's got a nice stand,
but her microphone...
I don't get it.
But her microphone.
I don't understand.
I don't get it. That one was like a Sudoku.
Sudoku.
Sudoku. Sudoku.
Chitople.
Alright, so...
It's a quick little word test
I give myself when I'm pulled over.
It's good.
Graham, do you want to add one on just to show off?
Time after time, bandits?
Time again after time?
I'm going to try to weasel one in the middle again.
No, I don't know. We're good.
No.
Show's canceled.
What's up, movie? Graham is satisfied with his answer.
Now it's up to the jury to decide.
No, he wins again.
Graham wins again.
Is there a movie with Bruce Willis
that's something bandits?
Just bandits, yeah.
That's what I said.
When I said it earlier.
You can't just say a word
that's already sitting there.
Whatever.
Like In Time would have been one.
Or you can go,
band, it's a wonderful life.
That kind of thing.
Yeah, you get better
with the more you play it.
And most people don't play it more.
You should try an audience edition sometime.
They might be better at it.
Because they actually listen to the show.
Kind of know better how it works.
But one thing they know how to do is...
Ladies and gentlemen, can we see your name tags?
That's that part of the show
where all three of my guests are going to go out.
There's Mr. and Mrs. Smith from yesterday.
She's in the Tournament of There's Mr. and Mrs. Smith from yesterday. She's in the tournament
of championships.
Andrea.
Braddria.
There's some delicious
looking cupcakes over there
if anybody wants to bring
one of those to me.
There's a guy up front
with a box that just says
bacon on it.
I don't get it.
Is your name Kevin?
There's a guy that actually
has bacon.
His name is Jakin
and he's got a plate of bacon
Oh, I gotta have some of that
Cupcakes, these guys
Bacon
Cracker Jacks
You two trade bacon for cupcakes
So let's make this a beautiful world Oh, you guys buddies? You guys got bacon for cupcakes, so let's make this a beautiful world.
Oh, you guys buddies?
You guys got bacon cupcakes?
We'll bring a shitload of different bacon. Oh, booze. We got booze over there.
Booze and cupcakes?
Cupcakes are so good.
That booze would be real tempting if they didn't just give it to us.
This dude's just got candy canes.
How old are those candy canes?
All right, you guys, so just quickly pick one.
All right.
Just go pick one?
Yeah, just go grab it.
It's the one thing we go over backstage.
Just go grab a name tag as quickly as possible.
Because this part's not that much fun to listen to.
There's a lady yelling Colin Farrell.
Not just being quiet with her bacon like Jakin.
Jeremy Kong, you guys, is over here.
Did everybody leave?
Did they all leave?
That'd be weird.
Let's just turn this into Doug Loves Cupcakes.
And bacon.
Wow, look at that.
That's creepy.
I went with gluten-free cookies.
I think it'd be funny
to luminol this doll.
There was amazing
main name tags.
I almost picked the guy
that had the Blues Brothers
album, the actual, because I had that as a kid.
That was amazing.
Because I almost got tattooed Elwood on my knuckles
like Dan Aykroyd did.
But my parents wouldn't let me go to a tattoo parlor
when I was nine.
Hey, can we have Jake in and Cupcake thrown out?
You're not allowed to bring food into this establishment.
Thanks.
How'd you guys smuggle it in
now that I ask it?
Now that I think of it.
Alright, cool.
No, they're nice here.
They let you in.
But I've had people
bring food as name tags
and then they don't
get into the show.
Sad.
What do you got there, Nick?
Who are you playing for?
I don't even know
what your name is.
Michael? Oh, Clayton. what your name is. Michael?
Oh, Clayton.
Oh, Clayton.
This was actually signed to you
by the late, great Peter Falk?
Yes.
Columbo?
I thought that it kind of matched mine a little bit.
Princess Bride?
Mm-hmm.
And that's his name tag.
So you brought that in.
How much do you think that's worth?
Have you had it appraised?
Did you take it to Antique Roadshow? They have that in How much do you think that's worth? Have you had it appraised? Did you take it to Antique Roadshow?
They have that in Denver
Do I have cupcake on my face?
I'm so crumblies
This is like an old baseball card case
It's really big
Yeah, that's heavy
I think it's quality
Well, you really paint a good picture for the listeners at home.
Now describe your crazy thing, Troy.
Mine is some creepy, like, I don't know, kind of masturbation doll.
Okay, you know it's my face, right?
How does my face meanlate Masturbation doll
Yeah
You mean the doll masturbates
That would be true
Yeah
That's kind of how
How it goes with me
I really get into it
Yeah
Go get him tiger
You're not really masturbating
Unless your legs are going wildly
In every direction
It's this
Yeah
Woo
Woo Bring it I think the person Unless your legs are going wildly in every direction. It's this. Yeah. Woo!
Woo!
Bring it.
I think the person's Shay.
Are you Shay?
Yeah.
Okay, we're going to need a last name, too.
I'm going to send this downtown.
Oh, we're going to put you on a watch list.
Yeah, this is a watch list. And we're going to have to get a restraining order.
And you're only going to be able to get as close as you are right now.
So you can still come to my shows.
You can still support my comedy.
Sweet marketing.
But thank you for making that creepy doll, Shay.
And please don't stick anything in it.
Like pins, not his dick.
But if he does stick his dick into it, our dog, are you going to be like,
Oh, Shay, not now.
Give me your number so I can text you
when it's not, you know, when it's a bad time.
Shay's just going to fucking
do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do.
Get out of there, Shay.
I'm trying to watch Safe Haven.
And it's already
a pain in my ass.
Alright, so
why did you go get bacon from that guy, Nick,
and then just put it on the stool there? Well, I've been eating it
slowly. Oh, okay, good.
If you weren't going to eat it, I was.
And Graham, who are you playing for?
I'm playing for the lovely
Callie, who brought me gluten-free cookies
from Silver Dollars Montana Monster Munchies.
Aw, shit.
Hey, you know, you should get a longer name for it.
Yeah, no shit.
What is it again? Say it again.
Silver Dollar Montana Monster Munchies
gluten-free all-natural gourmet cookies, Doug.
Ask for them by name.
Great at any hippie function.
Yeah.
Dot com com com com com com com.
Nothing.
Was it something?
What happened?
It was long for the website.
Dot com com com com com com? Yeah, it was long for the website. Calm, calm, calm, calm, calm, calm?
Yeah, it was long for their website is calm, calm, calm, calm,
because they used too many words like I just did.
Now we all get it.
I was right.
Well, it didn't register because they're a non-profit,
so they're.org.
Yeah.
Organic.
I'm going to keep working on that.
You cannot tell the difference
With these cookies
They taste god damn amazing
They're amazing
Okay the two of you
Agree on that
So why don't you
Why don't you go have
Some sort of cookie fuck party
And the rest of us
Are gonna keep eating gluten
Like a bunch of dumb assholes
That don't know
What we're putting in
Oh there you go
Little music box
It's nice when I'm
Heating up like that
How would a Come palms to me?
On the box, it says,
created by comedian Graham Elwin.
Yeah, that's my brand.
Palm strike, gluten out of your life, guys.
Okay, Troy Baxley is trying one.
So we'll get the verdict from him on the gluten.
Moist.
So we'll get the verdict from him on the gluten Moist
This game is not my top five least favorite words
What does my doll and the cookie have in common?
Let me try one of those cookies
They're moist
Ladies love it when you're making love to them
Are you moist?
Are you getting moist for me I always ask is your vagina
gluten free
gross
if it isn't I'm going to have to take a pill
before I make love to you
and then I use a
To counterbalance the gluten intake
Oh what's happening
I don't want bacon on a cookie
I mean I do want bacon on a cookie
Just not the way it was presented
Not as such a surprise
That's already near my mouth
That's bacon on a gluten-free cookie.
That's like a peace symbol on a rifle.
That exists, I bet.
I think it was on the poster for Full Metal Jacket.
Yes, it was.
So wait, in this situation, the bacon's the peace symbol?
Yeah, yeah.
Because we killed that pig peacefully.
So Graham gets to go first.
And he's playing for...
What's the name on it?
Where's my cookie box?
Callie.
Callie.
I'm playing for Callie's cookie box.
What?
You guys made it dirty. You guys made it dirty.
You guys made it dirty.
Is that out there a few miles from the bunny ranch?
No.
I tell you, Graham, I love it.
It's her box.
You guys made it dirty.
But I would totally fuck her.
Her cookies. Sorry, Callie sorry Callie how many calories are in those cookies Wow that's a good one Doug thank you yeah ding ding ding that was from my four-year-old's joke book. Shay and Clayton.
Okay, I'll remember that.
So we'll start with Graham
and then, again, as always,
to give Troy a little extra time.
Thanks, Doug.
We'll have Nick go second.
And Graham gets to pick a category.
Would you like...
Emmanuel Lewis
Celebrated a birthday yesterday
What you talking about Willis
That's what you said when I said it yesterday
And I could trust Graham Elwood
To not go and do the research
And figure out what Emmanuel Lewis movies there are
Probably forgot about it immediately
So I'm able to bring that category
back in and he doesn't have any kind of advantage.
Also celebrating a birthday
today, past and future
guest, Jon Hamm.
Jon Hamm.
Love that guy. So that's your second
choice, movies of Jon Hamm.
And your third option is films that
are in theaters now.
Which one of those would you like?
I will go with
Emmanuel Lewis.
No, I'll go Jon Hamm.
Go Jon Hamm.
Go Jon Hamm.
Someone tweeted to me today that
I said that when he and Sam Levine go
against each other, it's going to be Hamm versus the Jew.
And I don't
think I said that when he and Sam Levine go against each other, it's going to be Ham versus the Jew. And I don't think I said that.
Because they're going to be in the super tournament of championships someday.
But for this game right here,
Graham picked a movie or a category that leads to this movie.
From the year 2008, has John Hamm in it. Two stars for Mr. Leonard Malt leads to this movie from the year 2008 has John Hammond
two stars for Mr.
Leonard Maltin for this movie.
He says about it
that
it's
um
everything gives it away.
He says that
it's
wow! everything gives it away. He says that it's...
Wow!
This is the toughest one
to pull out the clues from.
He mentions Earth at one point
in the review.
He also...
Oh, here's a good word.
He calls it pallid.
He uses the word pallid.
So it's,
Earth is involved,
and it's pallid.
And he lists
eight names, Graham.
So now the point of this game, Troy,
is to bid on how many names you think
you would need to name the movie,
reading from the bottom of the cast list up
as listed by Mr. Leonard Moulton.
So Graham's going to do the first bid.
Zero?
Oh.
Does not sound confident.
Don't panic, Troy.
You're going to have to do nothing in this scenario,
I'm pretty sure.
Good, because I don't know what the hell's going on at all. You're going to have to do nothing in this scenario, I'm pretty sure. Good, because I don't know what the hell's going on at all.
You're going to be good.
Tig actually won this game once.
Anything is possible.
That's true.
That's not a slam on women.
That's a slam on people who don't like movies.
Nick, what are you going to do?
You can go into the negative names, of course,
or you can ask Graham to name it.
Did you say it was 98?
No, 2008.
Okay.
You trying to change the movie on me?
No, no, no.
It's 2008.
Okay.
I'm going to need two.
You're going to need to say
Either name that movie, Graham
Or you gotta bid less
Oh, that's right
You'd have to go
You'd have to go negative one
So negative two
Negative two
Alright, no, no
I'm gonna say name that movie
I believe it is
The Keanu Reeves vehicle
Day the Earth Stood Still
More specific?
The Day the Earth Stood Still. More specific? The Day the Earth Stood Still.
Well done.
That's correct.
Son of a bitch.
Yeah, I had no idea.
But just say it one more time just to make it official for the folks downtown.
I don't know.
The day the earth stood still, Doug.
Brought to you by
You did make it sound official.
Silver dollar Montana moon.
We don't have time for you
to say the whole thing every time.
And a delicious 10 ounce package.
That's the name of my cock.
Just call him.
Just call him Callie's.
So we can move on.
What you got there, little fella?
What you got, fella?
Graham, you're on the board.
You have a point.
That's right, doctor.
Remind everybody once again that Graham will be available after the show.
He will pose in a palm strike
pose for you
for pictures.
I will
stick it in your
gluten-free cookie box.
Are you seducing these people?
Yes.
I'm going to make sweet love
to this ladybug-loving crowd.
How about to the other performers?
Yeah.
I'll give it to you, buddy.
Alright, Troy, you ready? You get to pick a category
this time.
Just pick a category that sounds like you might know
movies that are
in that category.
Okay.
This is one right up your alley.
Dom and Dahmer.
And that's movies that have serial killers in them.
Okay.
Then we've got, I'm surprised no one's picked this one yet,
because it seems like a fun category to me.
Bruno Mars.
And that's movies where Bruce Willis is in space.
Okay.
Okay.
And then your third option
is not for emetophobes
and that's movies in which there's copious amounts
like there's a vomiting scene or two
or there's at least some vomiting.
I'm going to go Dom and Dommer.
All right, serial killers.
Excellent.
Would you like a movie that has serial killers in it
from, you get to pick a year this time,
from 2007 or 1993?
Oh.
Oh, says the person in the audience.
Why?
2007?
Is an option, yes.
Or 93.
That one seems obvious, but you're probably going to try and trick me.
93.
I don't try to trick you.
93.
Okay, 1993.
Leonard Maltin gave this movie three stars.
He said that it's offbeat,
and he also said that it's well acted by its talented cast.
I'll give you one more.
I'm feeling generous.
It's effectively ironic,
this movie from 1993,
and he lists six names
in the cast,
so you can bid
how many names you think
it'll take you to guess it in,
reading from the bottom.
So the wise bid,
I'm not trying to trick you,
the smart bid at this point would be six names, because then you get to hear the entire
cast, if the next person
will actually make you name it,
which will be Nick Thune. Six!
Okay, Nick, what's your
bit?
I think it would take me to name it.
I'm just making sure, I don't want to,
I feel like I've been answering wrong. No, we want you to guess how many names it would take Peter me to name it. I'm just making sure. I don't want to... I feel like I've been answering wrong.
I want to...
No, we want you to guess
how many names it would take
Peter Jackson to guess it.
And then he's going to come up on stage.
That'll take forever.
Yeah, it will, brother.
Two hours and 45 minutes later.
That was an unexpected journey.
Yeah.
minutes later that was an unexpected journey yeah all right Nick so you could be five names would be the smart play if you're not sure what the movie is yeah
I'm gonna say five names all right so we go to Graham Elwood did he just does that
a punky move kind of what's that five I'm not sure you know if you were being
a dick or not right then?
No, no, no.
There's only six names.
They're all crucial.
You want to get as many as you can.
I will go four.
Unless you know what it is.
So now, Troy, you could say to him, name that movie.
Graham has been known to not be able to name the movie every once in a while.
Because he'll just get the four names.
Or, if he fails to name it, you'll get the point.
And know this, know this, that the two names
that I wouldn't get to name would be the two
top stars. So that's like
I'm getting the lesser name actors
just so you know from a strategy standpoint.
Oh, but I get the stars?
No.
Because I would kick ass on that one.
You're going to be seeing stars.
Why I?
Okay, yeah.
So, yeah, you can either challenge him
to name it. If he misses it, you'll get a point, but if you go
three names, then it goes down to Nick and he can
challenge you. Okay.
Name it. Okay, let's do it.
Alright, you get four names. If Graham
successfully names this, he will win again.
He'll prance around on the stage.
Apologies to Comedy Works for the dented
microphone.
You're so excited.
You're all amped up on those gluten-free cookies.
Oh!
My blood course is pure without
gluten.
Look into my eyes, guy
with a Denver jersey.
You should be in
Blade 4
as a guy who's
fueled by gluten.
Great idea, Doug. Let's pitch it.
As soon as Greatest Movie comes out,
we'll take all that fucking money and we'll
go on a goddamn movie bender.
I wanted to get a house.
No. No.
Do not buy a house. You'll just lose
it by more crazy movies.
Blade 4.
The Gluten Reckoning.
The Gluten Reckoning?
Glutenator. Glutenator?
Glutenator?
Yeah.
I'm letting you do this because
I have a feeling you're going to get this right.
And I want to give everybody a full show.
The show ends a little early.
Yeah, so people are going to be mad at you, Graham,
when you win.
We're creating another villain.
Sometimes victory is very lonely, Doug.
That's a good pose after you said that Yeah
Victory is a lonely place
It's a bumper sticker
I know, I've been the 12 guests of Christmas Champion
Two years in a row, it's very
Thank you, sir
And everyone hates you for it
All your colleagues Everybody hates champions years in a row. It's very... Thank you, sir. And everyone hates you for it.
All your colleagues. Everybody hates champions because they know that inside their
souls they're weak and useless.
I'm speaking to you, Sam Levine.
I know you're listening.
The reason we hate champions, Graham, is because
they flip their lid and shoot us through a bathroom door.
There you go.
It's sad.
Handicap joke.
Yeah, and he parked in my spot.
God, dude.
He shot his girlfriend, but he took my spot.
All right.
Here's your four names, Graham.
Okay.
Gregory Mars Martin.
That's three names.
So you just get the last name of one other person.
Oh, man.
Sierra Peshur.
Peshur.
Something like that.
P-E-C-H-E-U-R.
And then Michelle Forbes
and David Duchovny.
Would you like the clues again?
Yes, I would.
Yes, I would.
Yes, you would.
I think he's kind of in the zone, but not...
Can't come up with it.
Offbeat.
When you watch it, you beat off.
It's well acted by its talented cast.
Effectively ironic, Graham.
Effectively ironic. Graham Effectively ironic
Think about it
Troy's gonna get on the board
And it's the serial killer category?
Serial killers
You got three seconds
Two
One
Name a serial killer movie
Henry Portrait of a Serial Killer
I like that
The audience buzzed you
The remaining names are Juliette Lewis
Brad Pitt
California
California
Oh Troy's doing a dance
It feels good to be on the board Doug doing a dance.
It feels good to be on the board, Doug.
It feels really good,
my friend.
You want a slice
of victory, Graham?
That's why Leonard Mullen
is a tricky mistress.
Actually, did I win
or is the game still going?
I don't know.
You're on the board
Okay
Yeah
It's first person to two
Yes
So I was worried about
Being short
Now we're gonna go long
Showcase
I thought Duchovny
Was just a giveaway name
You know
I couldn't
I was blanking on the title
I was blanking on the title
Just spit out the cookie and just answer the questions.
You're like a Dalmatian on those things.
A Dalmatian?
Those dogs are spazzy, right?
They die young.
What?
They do.
Very good point.
Because of the fur coats?
Or the trucks?
What? Cruella Duvill
wanted him really young
oh
she liked all those
that was Dalmatian 101
right there
it's an adult
education class
Dalmatian 101
it's like an
introductory course
alright so what's going on It's like an introductory course.
Alright, so what's going on?
Nick gets to pick the category because he wasn't involved in that last skirmish.
And then we'll go to
Troy who challenged Graham.
And you get to pick a category.
Nick, would you like
Selma and Louise?
That's movies with Selma Hayek,
Louise Guzman, or both.
Some Assembly Required?
That's movies with
two or more of the Avengers cast
in them. Avengers will
not be the answer, I can tell you
that. Or Tom
Cruise movies where Tom Hanks
is on a boat.
I want Tom
Cruise.
Tom Cruise. People love
that one. This movie
where Tom Cruise is on a boat at some point
is from 1990. Wait, no. Tom
Hanks or Tom Cruise is on a boat? I'm sorry. Tom Hanks
is on a boat.
Tom Cruise is in a boat? I'm sorry, Tom Hanks is on a boat. Tom Cruise is in
a weird mansion
giving tests.
That's what they do
in Sight of the City.
I thought he was Blinch.
You have to take tests, right?
1990,
Tom Hanks.
Pleasant
is what Leonard calls this movie,
that he gives two and a half stars.
Oh.
And he also says that...
I know it.
That it doesn't pay off about this movie.
It's good that you know it,
but you know how this works, kind of.
Yeah.
You have to start the bidding,
and there are 11 names.
So how many names do you think it would take you?
If you think you know it, you could say zero.
Or you could give yourself a little cushion.
You could say one or two names.
Yeah, yeah.
I think I'm going to go...
You know, I'm pretty secure.
You're comfortable taking up everybody's time.
Zero.
Zero names, he says.
All right, Troy.
You're pretty much stuck.
Wouldn't it go to me?
Who challenged last time?
Troy challenged me.
I challenged the shit out of Graham.
Alright.
Beat down.
But settle down over there
little Wolverine about the order.
Bigger Wolverine.
Gluten free Wolverine.
Oh, that's a great idea.
That would make
a lot of money
gluten free
Troy
so
he said zero names
you have to go into
negative names
I have a feeling
you don't even have an idea
what this movie might be
I might
I'm not going to give away
the ending
you're the first to know
alright
minus two
what
negative two names
minus two alright now let two names? Minus two
Alright, now let me explain to you what that means
Tell him what's up
I really want you to walk me through this
Before you lock it in, before you lock in that vote
That bid
It means you're going to have to name the movie
And then the top two stars of the movie in the correct order
Two?
It's when you say negative two, yeah
What if I say two? Pretty sure you said negative two, yeah. What if I say two?
Pretty sure you said negative two.
We've gone past two.
Here's the thing to think about, too.
Because I'm going to most assuredly say... The number two.
So if you tell him to name that movie,
if he gets it right,
he gets a point, we're all tied.
If he gets it wrong, you win.
Right.
Okay, I'm going to go negative six.
Why are you so nice? We have a three-way tie.
No.
No way.
Because you'll challenge him.
Yeah. I'm wanting him to back me up.
I was just trying to find that level.
Trying to help you out, brother.
That could launch me to the victory. All right. So, yeah, Graham's not going to challenge him. Yeah, I'm wanting him to back me up. I was just trying to find that level. I'm trying to help you out, brother. That could launch me to the victory.
All right, so, yeah, Graham's not going to have a very...
He can't really march around on this victory.
But I might.
So, yeah, name that movie.
Name it.
Now...
It's his movie. Why are you getting after me? it's his movie
why are you getting after me
it's his movie
name it
have you not been paying attention at all
it's so nice what you did for him
name it
I have to name it
what's the difference between negative six and negative three
I still fuck myself either way
that is true you still fuck myself either way.
That is true.
You are fucking yourself either way.
That is on the itinerary.
Fucking yourself is in the schedule in pen.
Son of a bitch.
Okay, what was the year once more?
Can I have that?
1990.
1990 and Tom Hanks is on a boat at some point.
Yeah,
but then you're going to have to name
in order the top six actors
that are in this movie.
Right.
You can't even think
of the name of the movie.
This isn't even fun.
It's like math
or some shit.
I hate movies now.
Just one hour, I hate them.
Troy hates movies.
That'd be a good podcast.
Yeah.
You guys want to stick around?
So do you want to make a guess?
Do you want to make a guess, Troy?
Riverboat Jungle.
Okay.
And then what name the six actors?
Tom Hanks.
Keep going.
Emilio Estevez.
Dakota Fanning.
Ann-Margret.
Ann-Margret.
This is really a game
of if you can even name
six, any names.
Just any names.
Fred Gwynn.
Fred Gwynn!
Yes!
We all remember you, Fred.
He was the captain.
Yeah, the Utes.
The Utes.
He was the captain.
He was the captain.
Because he was real tall.
What is Utes?
And Luis Guzman
and Salma Hayek.
Okay, that's seven.
Okay, so...
Six, I don't know what it was, but it was
spectacularly incorrect.
Oh, you got Tom Hanks right.
Can I at least...
Well, Nick wanted to go zero names, so we should maybe give him a chance
to show off.
Yeah.
What would you have said the name of the movie was?
Because you've got zero names.
Joe vs. Volcano?
That's correct.
But Graham is our winner!
Wow.
Is there a shithead on the back of that?
Probably not.
That's a cherished heirloom. You wouldn't write a shithead on the back of that? Probably not. That's a cherished heirloom.
You wouldn't write a shithead on the back of that.
No.
So the guy with the Clayton,
if you could come up here
and write down a shithead for me to say.
And, oh, I got a shithead.
I'll show you a shithead.
Oh, you got it on a separate piece of paper?
Very nice.
Okay.
And Shay, where's Shay at?
You didn't write a shithead on the back of that doll, did you?
Because I would have felt it.
Oh, someone's signing my ass.
Did I give it to you?
Yeah, pass it over.
Thank you.
Didn't want to fuck you, dude.
Okay.
And let's really quickly go through and do some plugs.
We'll start with Graham
he's so good at it
I will be headlining
the Comedy Attic
in Bloomington, Indiana
March 14th through 16th
Nashville March 21st
at Zaney's
and headlining
Portland in
Helium in Portland
March 28th
all my tour dates
are at
grahamelwood.com
hooray
for playing in other cities.
Don't forget to get
silver dollars
Montana Monster Munchies, Doug.
Does he get to keep those?
Nope. Hand them back.
Why are you looking at her?
I asked a totally different person.
Do you want those cookies?
Troy, what do you got coming up, buddy?
Uh, shit.
You don't have shit to plug?
Yeah, TroyBaxley.com. Just buy some
CDs and if you click on
Can't Be Noir at TroyBaxley.com
you can watch me get shot in the face.
Do it.
It's worth it.
Yeah, it's really good.
So you can watch me get shot in the face
and buy a CD.
Enjoy yourself.
And some friends of mine
have this thing,
Joke Life,
at Kickstarter.
So please go to them
and try and donate
for Joke Life
at Kickstarter.
That's it, Doug.
Nick Thune,
you're looking at your phone,
looking at your schedule?
Yeah.
What do you got?
UCB in LA next week
for my talk show
And then San Francisco
The 20th
March 20th
Through the 23rd
Florida
Just go to
Nicktoon.com
Slash shows
Chicago
And I'm taping my
Hour special in Brooklyn
In May
Come to that
Brooklyn
Let's get
Yeah that's good
Like that
So I get all three of you
Do you have a
Tito's vodka thing?
Yeah my
Case on my phone Says Tito's handmade vodka.
Yeah, I'll be in Austin next weekend.
And oh yeah, get the greatest movie ever rolled at chill.com starting right away.
Go get it.
Thank you.
Bill Romanowski's in it.
Thank you to all of our friends in the state of Denver.
Amazing audience as always.
So much fun.
Graham's got to take off
because he's got to go set up his merch table.
Try to sell you copies
of his shitty book.
I wrote a forward in the beginning
of the book. It took me less time to write it
than it will you to read it.
Did that sentence make sense?
Now go buy the book. It's got a lot of great film stuff in there.
And I really appreciate
how great the crowds are here in Denver.
And I'll try to come back
as soon as possible.
Like in a few months.
Do you need your...
Oh, this goes in the bag.
Where's the winner?
I forgot to give everything to the winner.
Come on down.
Oh, it is you.
Wow, you keep trying to give everything to the winner. Come on down. Oh, it is you. Wow, you keep trying to take everything.
Where's the person that brought the cookies?
Hi.
Nice to see you. There's that.
Thank the Curtis Hotel.
Here's your pot hangover cure.
Oh!
Oh!
Here's all the other stuff.
All right.
Thank you very much.
Callie.
Callie is her name.
Callie.
All right, you guys.
As always,
sequestration is a shithead.
And Lucy McClain is a shithead.
Ha ha ha ha ha! For you, cause God loves movies!